#since the story itself Doesnt Bother With That. i just bother with that separately | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

vr2 · 3 years

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haha anyways genshin must be on some wild fucking shit if they think theyre gonna try and drag out their main story for like 2 years. on god having like half a year between main chapters of its already weak spindly little story is like mindboggling decision i do not trust your storytelling skills at all to make any of the hype worth it but i also think thanks to the general playerbases inability to read they will continually feel disappointment at how poor genshins main story content is and how it is purveyed to the reader especially in comparison to the lore which is completely jarring in quality of delivery.

in the archon quest at the end of liyue chapter you get a lore dump from zhongli where he just stands there and gives you like 3 quest prompts about shit that exists for no reason other than idk “they needed to put the plot threads in there asap and they forgot they had an entire world to do it in” and then that mf disappears. forever. literally exiled from the overworld unless you pay like ninety quid to summon him on his banner. not to mention every single other npc you meet will never appear again outside of their instanced quests. it’s such a weird jarring end point that you’re left stranded in and its not only a frustratingly awkward delivery, it honestly just seems pointless. why couldn’t there have been an extended epilogue that involves talking to the npc character FROM inazuma, talking to beidou who is a pirate with an electro vision about idk ... travel and her ELECTRO vision being granted which is a feat she in known for in the lore of liyue folk. it could even be someone from the qixing like ningguang who surely would know about the status of foreign nations or keqing who has an electro vision and would absolutely have something to say about baal’s stance on things and her condescension towards humans. god it could still even be zhongli just space it out, let him invite us to dinner and chat over liyue cuisine and let inazuma come up naturally thgouh paimons huge appetite to eat new things. not only would the pacing be better, the plot threads be put in a way where you dont immediately forget them because they’re being rapidfire talked at you, but it would be a great way to make the character seem like theyre people with lives and not just trying to move the plot along and be on their way.

conversely, the story of arundolyn and rostam, the legends of mondstadt and the ordo favonius, the lion and the wolf, the building hints towards the cataclysm of khaenri’ah and what kind of nation earned the scorn of the gods -- its all slowly fed to you piece by piece linked through artifacts, world lore, in-game books, weapons and sometimes the world itself. you uncover things as you explore and the more thoroughly you explore - the more you discover! it’s rewarding, it feels natural and its some of the most fun you have piecing together stories and building out this strange world like some kinda anime historian and it encourages theorycrafting rather than a concrete set of events and characters being straightforward. its genuinely interesting that theres a whole society and cast of characters from the days of yore who are intimately connected with our current cast and the world we live in but also very much their own interesting characters who hold their own legacies and wills, carving them into the stars for ill or good.

its almost as if the main quest writers and the lore writers are completely separate, work on different floors and they dont ever meet because why ... why on earth would you deliver critical parts of the main story in such a blatantly poor way and make it have none of the nuance and intrigue as the worldbuilding? in a game that is designed for the express purpose of making people sympathetic and invested with characters to spend silly money on them? you think your paper thin story is going to let you do that? no gacha game is allowed to have storytelling subpar to the most average middle of the pack lightnovel and get away with being a gacha game. your story has to have at least a few moments where i am dazzled, daresay fucking delighted, at least a second where i have to stop and say ‘this is cool as hell’ or ‘FUCK ITS HAPPENING’ or else it is well and truly expendably worthless non-product! you have to be a little more ambitious than making some normie shit and try and make the story have a little heart! i dont doubt that they can do it, im sure there are talented writers there since i like a lot of the characterisations but man, let em free you need them no more than ever

the only thing i can think of that explains how watered down the story feels in comparison to lore, is a fear of making people ‘read too much’ in the main quests which honestly doesnt seem to be much of an issue to them. lanternrite wasnt that long but the sheer amount of npc dialogue feels staggering because its all ultimately ... inconsequential. we have no investment into these npcs and theres like 15 odd quests of it, it goes from cool world flavour text to genuinely feels like its taking up space all because they are trying to endear you to the lives of these generic npcs when you’d rather know like even one thing about chongyuns life and daily routine or xinyans performances. being able to see kaeya for one second even was the most fun and even then i was still disappointed cause its like bro? you didnt even let him do anything and it was JUST him? in the world there are so many characters explicitly referenced but never utilised and it makes their complete absence even more noticeable and frankly fucking baffling? not even fate episodes for all of our 12 SRs? actually nevermind, even the character stories are somehow unforgivably generic!

honestly i feel like the best event so far was the unreconciled stars event but by my standards it definitely felt like ‘solid gacha game event story’ with a touch of something more interesting with the inclusion of scaramouche’s lore insight. i was hoping this his how events would be in genshin, i really thought that this was the ‘standard’ but for some reason, its beginning to seem like that event was a bit of an outlier? i would gladly take less events and have them be more like the unreconciled stars event, with character interactions and slowly improving and hashing out who these characters are over never-ending carousel of random events that are mostly fetch-quests or fluff.

idk man its just a strange mess of me enjoying genshins world and theorycrafting, loving playing the game and exploring but feeling like the ball is not bein dropped but violently slammed into the ground by the sheer lack of character content whilst being praised by everyone under the sun for ‘story’ and ‘characters’. m*hoyo do better bitch! you already made such a good roster of characters now fuckin do something with them! stop releasing new characters without bothering with any of the existing ones! i beg of you!

#damn you ren #if i like anything in any capacity i immediately have to criticize it sfhajshfsa ITS JUST HOW IT IS .......#the adding characters to gacha but not even utilising them in story is my LEAST favourite thing a gacha game can do #gacha games are ALREADY on thin ice for the sole reason they are gacha games but man genshin really thinks they can get away with that?#im not somebody who cares too much about spending money on gacha games but genshins system is completely unrewarding even for 'early' gacha #the fact that like half the characters DO NOT EVEN HAVE STORY QUESTS? NOT EVEN LIKE AMBERS SHITTY GLIDING TUTORIAL???????????#u rly think i am going to play 3 years of current genshin for khaenriah chapter? do u think you are fgo!?#i also gate that fgo made the lostbelt release schedule like that because EVERYONE ELSE thinks its cool to copy them #completely misunderstanding that i am here for kinoko nasus wacky adventures and no other gacha game should get funny ideas #its the normies for me that make me feel insane. sir this game is incredibly fucking stingy please dont pretend #i do not care to see people try and defend multimillion dollar corporation m*hoyos gacha practices #esp with the whole zhongli and constellation shit like .... if this game did not have its world it would be dead in the water #renshin impact

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red-the-dragon-writes · 3 years

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Word search game! Tagged by @wizardfromthesea

My words are Cold, Sharp, Bright and Deep.

Cold: From Soundwave: Committed, a Transformers fanfic

They’d claimed Megatron would destroy Cybertron. Well, Cybertron had been an ice-cold sunless wreck for the last thousand years, and didn’t look to be changing any time soon. Autobots, in the end, had done that, but Megatron had been the catalyst. They had claimed Megatron would bring an end to the worship of the Prime, and he had led half of their race in open rebellion against him. They’d claimed he would be the end of peace, and comfort, and he was. And so were they, because they had fought back, but they had always known that would be how it was.

Sharp: From the same.

He did not know that the Cause, as it was, now, was a Cause he would have joined had he been on the sidelines. It was different. It was harder, crueler. But the world was hard and cruel, and finally they were making headway; so he might have. He didn’t know. But for the first time, it seemed like they really had a shot at winning. Megatron had said that they would tear down the Senate, early on. Now he spoke of crushing the entirety of the old rule, pulverizing it to dust between his heavy claws. He spoke and the people answered with roaring cheers and appreciation. He spoke and the people of Cybertron roared. And it was working; they were gaining ground, faster and faster, now, and the Senate was being forced back. Sentinel Prime was growing madder and madder; the noble families built ships and strongholds in plain sight. And they had cities, now, whole cities they’d overtaken and were holding, though it was too soon to say that that would hold. But Megatron’s Cause was sharper, harsher. There was no room for the weak. The quiet. The meek. The things that Soundwave had signed up for, they were succeeding at; he was here to burn down the last holds of Functionism. But he could see that the Decepticons were leaving people behind. He wasn’t sure how he felt about that.

Bright: From an as-yet-unnamed, in-progress Transformers fic about Megatron and Optimus fighting but like over A Long Time

Optimus Prime had been near the back, not fighting. He’d come to lead from the front, just like Megatron, but neither of them had had the experience yet, here. The war had only been raging in earnest for maybe two groons. Tensions had been up for ages, of course, and they’d carried out a few bombings, sure, but open hostilities, armies meeting on the battlefield to rend and tear each other to pieces and the sky clouded black with smoke, that had been very, very new. Megatron got lost in it, and Optimus found himself hiding from it. And somehow Megatron had let himself be led away from the fray. Now he was wandering, lost, a little confused, looking for people he could see weren’t his so he could go back to the fight. For all that the air smelled of energon and burnt metal, and he could hear screaming and cannon blasts going in the background, it almost felt like the late night at the tail end of one of those roaring Kaonite block parties, after most everyone had gone home and all that were left were the scraps of food wrappers and empty high-grade bottles in the streets and vaguely overcharged gladiators and streetmechs wandering around looking for something to do before they passed out in a corner somewhere. Megatron had always enjoyed those. How different it was, and how similar all the same. But littering the streets were pieces of armor, twisted and burnt; and it wasn’t engex puddling in the little ditches at the sides of the road. He’d seen them set up in a dark building by lamplight. Red paints gleaming, clean and bright, nicer than Megatron’s Decepticons ever really looked; medics’ crosses adorning their pauldrons and wings. At this distance he couldn’t see the red badges on their chests, but he knew they would be there. Somehow he’d gotten separated all the way behind the Autobots’ front lines.

Deep: From a kind of very mean OC-in-canon TMA fic i am writing for fun. for myself. it is probably not terribly fun for anyone else. sorry for the fucking wall of text here but it doesnt make any damn sense unless i have that context and the word doesn't appear anywhere else :|

The archivist was well upon the way to a nervous breakdown already. Haven didn’t care for him enough to bother pushing him over the edge. He didn’t care for the archivist at all. He had, grudgingly, admitted a sense of similarity with the man, as he also berated and stalked his subordinates, and he also obsessed over information and filing, and he also seemed to be abrasive and foolish and without a healthy sense of respect for that which outclassed him. Haven was pleased to note that the archivist and the archivist’s assistants were stupider than him, though; he would hate to be within their intellectual weight class. He was tangentially aware of the demons that stalked what they were researching; it was a shame, for those in the research facility, that they had not paid greater attention to that which was not part and parcel of the dealings of those demons. He had heard, from a source, that the only stories that this archivist believed had a morsel of truth to them were the ones that did not record; he had not heard that this archivist had ever learned that there were far better, less obtrusive, ways to vanish information. And the archivist never quite seemed to believe those whose credibility was called into question, unless there was that obvious calling card behind it. Not only had Haven slipped beneath the archivist’s radar, he had so thoroughly escaped it as to make himself invisible to the man, even as he trode the same roads he walked. Frequented the same buildings. Did his foul work in the same air as the archivist attempted to do his. When he finally decided to reveal himself to the archivist, all he needed do was walk directly into the archives and sit down. Not one of them had succeeded in keeping themselves protected from outside influences for very long, and so he had had ample opportunity to get to them and make himself invisible. As such he could walk through the archives like a spectre. His footsteps, imperceptible, his very breath silent to their ears. And all the while, unharassed, he could do whatever the hell he liked, touch whatever the hell he wanted, and take whatever the hell he wanted to take from their poorly maintained, poorly labeled, poorly organized collection of records and nonsense paraphernalia. And other things, besides. It was not terribly long after the incursions of the worms caused by the demon that associated itself with the hives that Haven chose to finally drop the bullshit. He deposited himself upon the rickety chair that sat behind the archivist’s desk while the archivist was still away at lunch, and there he waited for the archivist to return. To his credit, though Haven was rather enjoying not giving the archivist any credit, the archivist did not seem terribly alarmed when he saw Haven sitting in his chair. It was deeply unlikely he mistook Haven for a member of the facility, given that Haven had made no effort to appear as such. Regardless, the archivist merely paused in the doorway for a moment before coming to sit at the opposite chair at the desk.

Since I'm still catching up on my tags, this is an open tag! if you choose to play, your words are mold, rust, decay and rot. :D

#not to give the grimmest word set ever but its 2:10 in the morning and i just need something i can slam the fuck out #i need to be asleep three hours ago #XDDDD #tag game #last line #my writing

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luci-four · 4 years

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I saw your doing requests. What about a story with the twins they find (Shy) MC at a Karaoke shop/bar (etc) But MC doesnt seem the twins(or get confronted) till after they're done Idk what else could happen but ill leave it to you! I LOVE your writing!!!

A/N: I wasn’t sure if you meant… separate scenarios for each twin or one with them together, but reading context, I went with one piece including the both of them!!! Hope that’s alright! Wasn’t too heavy on implying one sole romantic relationship but did hint at feelings for both of them!! (also, thank you!!) ★

sorry it took so long! under the cut for length!

Neon Lights. {Belphegor | Beelzebub | Reader/MC}

It wasn’t very often the twins found themselves out on the town or taking part in the nightlife—they go if dragged along by one of their brothers, or if Beelzebub gets a whiff of something cooking and can’t help himself.

Tonight happened to be one of the ‘dragged along against their wills’ type of nights according to Belphegor.

Dragging his feet, Belphie sighed and viewed the world with half-lidded eyes. He was exhausted, irritated, and quite frankly: bored. There was no desire to be here—too many people, too much noise, too much action—too many stimuli started to make him openly cranky.

“This is ridiculous,” he groaned, “why did you need to bring me along?”

Asmodeus ignored him, continuing to ramble on all about this new club; He was so excited about the new atmosphere, something about its “activities” and ambiance apparently—Belphie had no idea what he was talking about, and quite frankly, he didn’t care. His eyes rolled over to his phone as he aimlessly scrolled, looking for some sort of relief for his boredom.

Beelzebub’s eyes darted around to every building they passed. Clothes shop, shoe store, antiques shop—there was no food? He placed a hand on his stomach and smiled uncomfortably, grimacing when a particularly rough rumble came through.

“How much further? You said there was food, right?”

Asmo ignored him as well, continuing his pre-review of the place. Beel listened as close as he could, but he couldn’t help but get distracted. If he were honest, he had no real interest to go along either other than to make his brother happy. It wasn’t like he was bothered by the situation he found himself in—no harm no foul in his eyes; but he was sort of bored, and definitely hungry. Hopefully Asmo realized just who he asked to come with him; he looked over to find Belphie wordlessly scrolling his phone as Asmo beamed with excitement. Beel smiled to himself, ignoring the growling of his stomach for a moment to savor the joy he was feeling with his brothers.

The room was too crowded. The people were too loud. Belphie immediately started to feel his clothes stick to his skin and it was absolutely disgusting; how hot had this room been? The more he thought about it, the more his skin crawled—he knew why they kept the place warm, the aroma sweet, the lights soft and the people crushed together. He wanted to go home.

Beel had easily gotten used to the sounds in there, and the people bumping into him was no real problem. He was getting uncomfortably warm, so he pulled up his sleeves; his nose was actively searching for whatever was in the air, smelling sweet yet comforting. Beel wasn’t sure why, but Belphie seemed to keep a close watch on wherever he had roamed and eyed those who approached the two of them—did he know something he did not? The sound in the room at least drowned out the sound of his stomach so he didn’t have to worry about disturbing others.

Luckily (for Asmo), the brothers had a reserved seat in front of… a stage? In this crowded room?

‘Great,’ Belphie thought to himself, ‘I’ve been dragged to some perverted show’.

‘Show?’ Beel thought, ‘what kind of show?’ Looking around the room gave him no hints.

A screen, a microphone and stand, lights upon lights stood at the ready and speakers front and center. The sight itself caused both of the younger brothers to sigh.

“Lighten up you two!” Asmo cheered, “I’m sure by the end of the night, you’ll both leave with smiles on those adorable little faces.”

With an excited squeal and the blink of an eye, Asmo had disappeared and left the two of them alone. Belphie laid his head on the table, sighing heavily.

“If there’s a table, do you think there’s food to order?” Beel looked around, bringing out another sigh from Belphie.

“If this place is actually as dirty as I think it is, I won’t let you order food.”

Beel tilted his head and tried to meet his twin’s eyes as Belphie turned his face towards him. With dull eyes and a frown on his face, Belphie could already see the innocence in Beel’s face.

“I don’t think this place is very dirty since it’s new–”

“Not what I meant, Beel.”

“What did you mean?”

His question fell on deaf ears as it was obvious the moodier twin shut down. The over-stimulating atmosphere quickly drained what little energy he had—he normally had much more energy at night—but this place sucked it straight from him. Belphie continued to mumble his complaints and hatred for every little detail around him; Beel didn’t seem too bothered by the place and tried to see just what his counterpart had disliked about it all—sure, he could do with less noise and more food, but it overall wasn’t… a horrible experience. He gave a few pats to his brother’s head in a futile attempt to comfort him before both of their heads turned towards the dimming lights in the room.

“Is something starting–”

“Here we go–”

Loud music cut off both of them, a steady beat with no lyrics. The screen above the stage lit up, announcing the name of a song—the typography seemed familiar… Karaoke?

“Seriously?” Belphie groaned, though the music blasting from the speakers in front of his face drowned him out.

The speaker gave off such intense soundwaves that air blew strongly in both brother’s faces. To add to their dry eyes, the room grew much darker before bright, neon lights suddenly blinded them. Unable to see the figure walk out onto the stage aside from a dark shadow to contrast the bright lights, the both of them attempted to shield their eyes just enough to try and catch a glimpse—though it didn’t help at all.

The moment their voice filled the room however, their eyesight didn’t matter. It was… luxurious, silky and smooth, definitely a voice that honoured the ambiance of the joint. Beautiful, quality, and definitely one that was worthy of being shared with the world—so why would they choose to hide behind the lights?

Bright hues and coloured dews shined in the tears in Belphie’s eyes. He was blinded, but something about the mixture of both coloured and voiced tones… irritated him—no; he wasn’t irritated at that, he was irritated that he couldn’t see who the voice belonged to.

Beel kept his eyes squinted, readily accepting that his vision was unreliable, but he certainly was interested. His ears perked up, and he attempted to wake up his other senses as well; could he pick up on anything else? Can he place the voice? Smell their body spray? He was genuinely curious to find the owner to the voice that seemed to command the coloured lights behind them at their will.

This voice was… something unknown to the both of them. Rising and falling, perfectly in time and in tone, hitting the highs and sailing through the lows—dare they say angelic? Though the term was less than appealing, it was certainly the best fitting for such an enthralling voice.

The energy Belphie previously lost surged back into his being; energetic was a light term to how he started to feel. Every inch of his body felt electrified with each successful high note, goosebumps spreading along his skin. For the first time in longer than Belphie could even keep track of anymore, he sat at the edge of his seat.

Beel on the other hand, leaned back in his chair. He closed his eyes, allowing himself to simply exist with the stands of melody wrapping around him; they were warm, comforting, as though the words were the arms of a loved one, and he wanted to relish in the moment as long as he possibly could. He was… cozy. Not a thing felt wrong with his body, for once in a long time, he felt at peace.

The music faded out, as did the voice. Applause erupted from every corner of the room; not that either of the boys could hear it as the world melted around them. Static sounds accompanied by heavy heartbeats, numb limbs twitching from excitement as they waited for the big reveal. The lights started to dim, the figure getting more and more visible by the second—their pulses racing to catch up to the adjustment of their eyes.

An equally heavenly sight matched the voice as their eyes landed upon the beautiful features that made up MC. Belphie clenched his jaw while Beel’s fell slack, both so shocked that they held in their breath. Such a voice could come from MC? Their MC? The colours of the neon shining behind them hugged warmly against their skin, illuminating them softly. Neither boy could look away.

It was obvious that MC hadn’t seen either of them, Belphie assumed that their squinted eyes and scrunched up nose meant the lights on the stage had blinded them far worse than they blinded the audience. The small stumble descending off of the stage is what solidified the idea to Beel. The two of them stood immediately to meet with MC, ignoring the new person who took their place on the stage; they quickly lost them in the crowd. Belphie held onto Beels shirt as he used him as a shield to push through the masses until the taller brother caught sight of them, sitting alone at the pristine bar hidden away under the dim lights, drink in hand. Their shoulders were hunched over, their muscles tight from obvious anxiety and embarrassment; the lights in their show must have been deliberate.

Each brother took a seat on either side of MC, simultaneously ordering drinks and startling them.

“Mind telling us what that was?”

“Belphie? You’re the last person I expected to see here.”

“Why is that?”

“Beel? You’re here too?”

“We’re just as surprised to see you: prancing around on stage and singing your heart out.” Belphie smirked, taking a sip of his drink as MC clearly cringed out of embarrassment.

“Also surprised by that voice of yours,” Beel mentioned, smiling innocently at them, “It was beautiful.”

“It was,” Belphie jumped in, “Wouldn’t mind hearing it again.”

“Yeah, wouldn’t mind at all.”

“In fact, we should sign you up for another song–”

“No, I definitely don’t think you should do that!”

MC hid their face within their hands, their skin heating up fairly quickly. A faint, muffled squeal come from them and it caused both of the brothers to laugh.

Seeing MC’s normal nature was relieving, but definitely painted a picture for the twins; it gave their performance and the way they shined on that stage, commanding those neon lights, illuminated by their sheer determination, a whole new level of radiance and captivation to those purple and pink eyes of the demons who idolized MC the most.

“Really, though. We should sign you up for another song.”

“Belphie I beg you not to do that!”

“We could just drag you back up there–”

“Beel, please don’t let him drag me back on stage! I don’t think my heart could take another song!”

Beel gave a smile and a nod as his brother and MC started to bicker once more, Belphie doing everything in his power to tease MC to the point they may as well pass out. The sight of his brother’s laughter and the sweetest person he’s ever known spinning side to side as they cried for mercy was a genuine moment he wished to remember for years to come—maybe the sound of their singing would replay as well, making sure he always felt warm and loved.

“I’m hungry.”

“Beel, that doesn’t help me at all!”

As MC waved their hands around, explaining to Beel just how Belphie had been torturing their poor, timid heart, Belphie watched as the lights really radiated off of every inch of MC against the dim room. The colours made them seem like a star, glimmer and shine being poor words to describe just how beautiful the sight in front of him was—just as the words used to describe how enchanting and electric their voice had fallen short against his lips as none were worthy.

MC laid their head against the bar to cool down, covering themselves with their arms to escape the (playful) torture being placed on them by the demons at their sides. Both brothers smiled, their hands either patting MC on the back or lightly scratching their arm in an attempt to comfort them. They couldn’t help but see the flashes of MC’s secret personality now and again with the changes in the lights throughout the room; just how much have they not seen? Neither brother was willing to forget the feelings that accompanied such a voice, and neither was going to admit it.

Belphie had to admit his previous irritation had been premature and he certainly was glad to have been dragged out by Asmo for once; Beel thanked whatever force had calmed his hunger enough to truly enjoy and live in a moment that will shape some part of his future.

Beneath neon lights and pretty eyes, the brothers fall slightly more in love than they had the night before.

#obey me! drabbles #om! drabbles #swd obey me #obey me! belphegor #obey me! beelzebub #om! belphegor #om! beelzebub #obey me!#satans bookmark #obey me! imagines #om! imagines

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idreamtofmanderleyagain · 3 years

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princess-nazario:

It's ok, thanks for clearing things up. See, everytime theres a post that might just be different the tumblr-fad! Version you speak or questions how tumblr might be romanticizing them theres always annoying people in the replies saying that theres a version where she wanders down the underworld herself, or that the version where shes kidnapped is...weak or a damsel in distress since it doesnt fit into tumblrs made idea of empowerment?? Its so annoying honestly. I saw this kind of stuff in a lot of posts while exploring the greek myth tag and its just... infuriating. I definitely should ignore them but it seriously makes me kind of sad and angry at the same time? The hades and persephone posts are everything(mostly tumblr-fad!) Version I reread your original post and yes I do agree, tumblr-fad! Persephone does take away a lot of the complexities and archetypes I read you examine. I think Hadestown might portray Hades and Persephone's power struggle well, it doesnt completely ignore the implications its giving off for the sake of some romance. This is what tumblr is doing and it's really annoying. By doing this and reducing the characters here to simple boxes it's taking away your interest in the myth, I think that's what you meant? I think your study of Hades/the underworld being Persephones self, cthonic meaning "spirit of nature within, inner self" while I dont fully understand that's really cool. I especially dislike how woobified and depowered he usually is in the tumblr-fad! Theres a lot you can work with him as the antagonist in a retelling I think. In fact maybe itd be great to have a retelling that explores the power struggle between Hades and Persephone and shows how Persephone gets through adversity and becomes of equal power through oppressive authority? Thatd be really cool. Tumblr-fad! Version is the twilight of myths but kind of the opposite. In twilight, the author itself romanticizes the creepiness and power struggle that might be there between Edward itself(although Bella does have a lot of agency so I think that's why it resonated so much with female readers?) while the Persephone has a various amount of versions, most versions being she was kidnapped/abduction with many meanings and metaphors and allegories to things, and tumblr-fad! Version ignores nuance in favor of their ships. Thanks for being so open and honest about this, I honestly was stressed because I thought my response maybe being immature or uninformed might be irritating or annoying. I haven't been sneaking through your blog or anything like that, I just saw your original post in the goddess demeter tag so I searched up "Persephone" on your stuff since I was curious with what else you might have to say about it. I wish Tumblr could maybe bother to learn something called not everything is entirely not THIS thing or the OTHER and maybe do something different from what Hades and Persephone coming to be known as the peak of all love stories on the website.

@princess-nazario I hope you don’t mind, I copy pasted your last reblog into a new post thread because the last one was getting massive.

I think I’m starting to understand what you’re getting at regarding the perception of victims as “weak,” and it makes a lot of sense. Thank you for clarifying regarding the “damsel in distress” trope because that’s when it clicked for me what you were talking about. I actually agree on that point, I think there is a tendency for pop feminism to kind of portray more vulnerable, sensitive or fragile women as less feminist, so I can see how you’re applying that to your views on how people on tumblr perceive the story of Hades and Persephone.

That said, I think you have a lot of different angles you’re looking at this whole thing from, and that’s great! However I think there’s so many subjects you are trying to tackle here that it seems like you are kind of are only half informed about, maybe from exploring discussions online. I think this is resulting in conclusions that are kind of confused and lacking in more solid foundations, if that makes sense. I think maybe you might benefit from exploring each element further on their own merits.

For example, did you know that there are a lot of different feminist viewpoints on Twilight itself? And not all feminists completely condemn it? In my opinion, there are a lot of things about Twilight to criticize, however there was a distinct element of hatred for the interests and desires of teenage girls involved with how people responded en masse to the Twilight phenomenon. I don’t think you were old enough to be directly familiar with all this at the time. I think a decent primer would be this video from Lindsay Ellis (tho please keep in mind that some of her most recent content is not for younger audiences). It doesn’t cover all angles of the topic, but it does give an alternative perspective in retrospect about the raging Twilight hate that swept through pop culture for a long time:

youtube

Also, there is a whole conversation to be had about the concept of “woobification,” and why that word exists, as well as how it is used in conversations about girls and women’s fantasies. The original post I made shows that I have my own frustrations when male villains and darker archetypes are whittled down to something seemingly non-threatening and “socially acceptable” myself (like...turning the beast into the prince in Disney’s Beauty and the Beast), but in my experience, people have often used the word “woobie” to describe any explorations of the vulnerability of these types of male characters when women do so because they find those men intriguing or attractive, and that can get kind of tricky because in many ways, those conversations can harbor a subtle resentment and shaming towards female fantasties, period.

I’m getting the impression that maybe there’s something about Hades and Persephone, or at least the archetypes they embody, that really intrigues you, but you’re not sure what you are supposed to think and feel about it from a feminist perspective. That’s ok, ultimately you’ll figure it out on your own. I can’t tell you what to think about the myths themselves on their own, separate from contemporary feminist media because that’s ultimately it’s own thing, and you can springboard your own perspectives and reimagining off of the original in any way that feels right to you.

What I can do though, is leave you with some age-apropriate content that I was consuming at your age, as well as a link to a site that explores stories with similar archetypes that Persephone embodies.

The site is called Girls Underground, and it explores and catalogues stories about girls who go on heroine’s journeys in the “Cthonic” context like I was talking about, as in exploring their own inner psyches through the experience of traversing a strange, scary, magical place. Sometimes these stories involve the trope of a spooky attractive male character who takes on an adversarial role that is sometimes also romantically charged, but not all of them do. I think the resources page may be of particular interest to you because it links to essays on subjects within this genre of storytelling. The Examples page has a ton of other stories not listed here that you can take a look at, however not all of them (but many of them!) are kid friendly.

Movies that I would recommend:

Labyrinth (1986), which was my favorite film since early childhood, and is the reason I love these types of stories to begin with.

Legend(1985), which doesn’t depict a healthy dynamic, but is a great film and does have a big place in the general conversation about this type of storytelling.

Howl’s Moving Castle, either the book or the film.

Pan’s Labyrinth is rated R for some gore and violence, and it has scary moments, but I think it’s fine for most teens. The character of Pan is not part of that whole “demon lover” trope because the heroine is a small child, but he takes on a similar role in terms of being a figure that embodies the underworld and thus a major part of the heroine’s psyche.

Honestly, I would consider Disney’s Beauty and the Beast (the original, not the live action remake) a good rendition. It was written by a woman.

Jean Cocteau’s black and white La Belle et La Bete.

Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte, or a film adaptation of the same.

Rebecca by Daphne DuMarier, which is what my username is from. I’m fond of the Hitchcock film adaptation.

Honestly, the 2004 adaptation of Phantom of the Opera is...flawed, but it was my introduction to Phantom, and it’s a lot of melodramatic fun.

It’s worth noting that in a lot of these stories, there are not perfect, healthy relationships depicted between men and women. There is cruelty, there is harm. But in many cases, that does not mean these stories have nothing to say about relationships between men and women, nor does it say that they are solely tales about abuse and we cannot find romanticism within them. Each story has it’s own flaws, it’s own strengths, hold deeper meanings beyond the surface. They contribute something distinct to a rich history of artistic explorations of the dynamics of power in romance and the female experience with our own desires within a patriarchal society.

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malewifesband · 4 years

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as someone who genuinely likes legend of korra, the show was not good even if you can (and you cant) separate it from atla. you cant just blame it on the fact that the writers and animators were rushed either, because that doesnt make the story good just because the working conditions of the artists were terrible--it just means they were unlikely to ever make something good

the series contradicts itself constantly, important worldbuilding is seemingly dropped when its no longer convinent or fits the tone, the tone itself is inconsistent and is such a deviation from the original series that it makes you wonder why they even bothered making a sequel and not just building an entirely different story, the more mature and violent tone also just places all the problems inherent in the previous series (racism, mostly) centerstage and fails to distract you with a good story aimed at a child.

will write this essay later since ive been rewatching but for now i have to stan wu bc i have a disease

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wintermutal · 5 years

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8, 11, 17, 20, 32, 36, 40!

8. Oldest WIP

now? probably the becoming, my obligatory gears reimagining tale. i started thinking about writing it in high school, but couldn’t settle on an exact version of gears to write. in college i’m still bothered by it, like it’s something i need to write but i just dont know how. i have a good plot set up now involving gears and mann in hong kong in the 80s that deals a lot with some mekhane cults and stuff, but it just….doesnt feel right yet. so that one’s like…..4 years old now lol

11. Books and/or authors who influenced you the most

amazingly- and this kind of sounds like it’s coming out of left field knowing the kind of stuff i read these days- gary pulsen. when i was in 6th grade i read a ton of his shit, and i remember a very specific moment where i was reading Winterdance. i remember one day, i loved what he had written for a scene so much i decided to go back and ‘figure out’ for myself how he made it feel so exciting using the words like that; it was the first time i ever closely examined someone’s actual writing technique. my 11 year old self observed that he used run on sentences in the areas where it got really exciting, and i started experimenting with it myself, and as you can see some eight years later…..i should have never done it. it’s now like, a hallmark of my writing style. if i would have never read that goddamn dog book we wouldnt be in this mess

as for more specific recent influences…..i stumbled across off-site access to a few obscure ancient ess see pee works over the winter. the story was…dazzling, and reawakened some of the awe and ‘fuck it, let’s write a wild ass story’ attitude i had when i was a newbie on the site. as of right now i keep them in a folder on my desktop for when i need to remind myself that nothing matters and its more fun not to care

17. What writing habits or rituals do you have?

i get awful writers’ cramp writing on paper. like, when i took my AP exams at the end of high school, i went out and bought an arthritic pen to write the essays with (it worked, and that pen is the most comfortable motherfucker ive ever used). i have no idea if i grip my pen/pencil too hard or if i fucked it up as a kid or what’s going on in there, but it means that i write almost everything on my laptop. this is unfortunate because i also do a lot of other things on my laptop, and my little gremlin brain gets distracted by them in .3 seconds. of course, once i get writing, i get writing and can go for hours, but it makes it hard to start.

this means that i have a separate writing program i keep up in full screen in another window 24/7. whenever i write, i go there. its great because it’s so fucking barren. look at this shit.

aside from that, i always find my voice a little easier if i read a page or two of something else before i start in on a session, even if it’s an old piece of my own shit or something. i dont always do it, because my writing schedule and mannerisms are chaotic as hell, but yeah.

20. How many WIPs and story ideas do you have?

oh my god……………so many………..im never going to get through them all……

i’m on a pattern where i randomly cling to a certain idea and spend months to a year on a huge piece for it before shitting it out onto the internet. the two biggest pieces that have come as a product of this are Major Tom and ess see pee-4231, taking me 8 months and a year, respectively. i write other things, too, obviously, but i usually end up unable to shake a few very choice ideas, and those are the ones that get the most blood, sweat, and tears put into them. usually they’re larger ideas with a big scope to work with.

32. Most difficult character to write

right now? i have a main character named rowan in a big original project i have going on, and i just….haven’t decided on the kind of person he is yet. i have a good chunk of his backstory worked out, but he also ends up getting regularly drugged with heavy horse tranquilizers and reshaping his entire childhood with a few main events warped to reveal possible traumas, so you know how it is. he’s obviously very unreliable as a narrator, but i’m not sure what kind of person he is to be an unreliable narrator. like, the horse tranquilizers definitely helped it along, but there’s also a lot of…wild shit going on in there. he might just be being unreliable out of cowardice, because hes fully aware and conscious of the role he played in several murders, including those of a few of his close friends and collaborators. so who knows

36. Last sentence you wrote

Well, the last three are sentence fragments. So backing up a little to the last paragraph:

“The tile in the deep dark was black, white, grey. The eternal floodlights on vaulted caverns cast scales of reds, electrical white florescence. The door was six inches thick; the hallway was not patrolled; the cameras obediently turned away; and just like that, with a mix of something teetering between greed and fear, the Foundation chose not to see the place of necessary evils in the deep dark of the mountain.

Director Eiler beat him. And beat him. And beat him.”

40. Share some backstory for one of your characters

kilroy fisher’s mom really wanted him to be a web developer, and kilroy was pretty eager to please her until a couple things happened:

1. when he was ten, he was enrolled in a foundation research program doing brain scans of young technopaths with hopes to create an AI system to repel their specific psychic influence. part of the test involved kilroy being exposed to a prototype of this AI, written in an extraordinarily complex unique coding language. how he was able to interact with it and how the code felt to him when he was around it was like nothing he had ever experienced before. he was fascinated. the AI was set to be used, at least at first, around the most secure Foundation databases. the heart of the AI was strongly implied to be centered in the databases themselves. he’d only seen the skin of it.

2. he read william gibson’s neuromancer, and very quickly became a cyberpunk technopath hacker kid, to his mother’s horror.

Kilroy ended up obsessed with this. like, absolutely off the shits, increasingly lost in the sauce as his teenaged years wore on. he quickly discovered that if technopaths work with this coding language for like, more than an hour in their unique psychic state- which is the most effective way to go about it due to the complexity of the code- it starts manifesting in bleeding from various areas of the head (ears, nose, teeth) and eventually leads to seizures and really intense migraines. this makes sense because like….its literally used as an anti-technopath code for anti-technopath interests, but kilroy, who at this point was severely depressed and bordering on suicidal, became addicted to working with it as a means of regular self harm.

Kilroy ended up writing a bootleg terminal program for the language, which would theoretically allow people to more easily work with the code and even eventually break into that all-important foundation defense AI that was now his sole reason to live. after a fight with his girlfriend resulted in her calling him ‘a fucking ruthless pig’ for being literally obsessed with it to the point of regular physical collapse, he deemed it RUTHLESS.exe and started going with the handle ‘Gip’ online, especially in circles where the program was in high demand for Criminal Actions™ and he was seen as a fucking godsend to working with this thing.

this eventually culminated in some attempted hacking of the actual AI itself, quickly followed by an intense hospitalization while he recovered and had surgery to remove the traumatic cataracts in both eyes, subsequently followed by being shipped off to containment. technopath containment is literally just….a setting with no technology. in his case, this meant that he has since lived alone in a specially built little house on a foundation-owned little farm in the middle of nowhere.

he gets visits from foundation agents twice a week that bring him food and supplies, because he’s not allowed off the premises. he takes care of his sheep (or at least like, the sheep the foundation has put him in charge of as part of his ‘rehabilitation’ or whatever). he’s bordering on suicidal again, and they put him on some heavy medication that leaves him feeling numb most of the time. he wears bifocals because of the permanent damage to his vision. he lives without electricity. he reads a lot. he reads and rereads neuromancer a lot, and after a few years of this he decides that he needs to reach a decision on the whole ‘suicide’ thing, because this is really getting ridiculous.

and that’s where the story finds him. i have no idea how im gonna write all that backstory coherently. im probably gonna binge read more william gibson stuff and pray.

A Writer’s Ask Game

#this is so long im so sorry #and this is only one of them nooooo #scp wiki writing #writing #asks #long post #vandal.txt #v1als #bm tale

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alicezan-ncgred · 5 years

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Bleeding Red

Preface: I’ve been bitching around the bush of this long enough. So, I’ve been really silent on a bunch of stuff that’s been eating me alive which has made me both inactive and unproductive. I’m going to get straight to the point, starting off with the TL:DR from my post on my main blog. Context: An anon asked me if I was alright because I hadn’t updated in a while.

TL:DR You probably didn’t ask this to hear about all the bad shit of my life so here’s the short of it. No, I’m not doing fine. I will try get next weeks post out on time and I’ll work on making up on the lost posts. Updates will return regularly, ‘ite.

Time for the thick and thin of it.

Insecurity and being shafted: I’m stoic, even at my worst I won’t say anything. I’ll push through regardless of my current condition and since I’ve gone years like this, it’s not hard for me to do. In my real life situation, I’m currently in a place of social isolation. This has lead to a somewhat near reliance on Tumblr to be my social outlet. This present many issues.

The main one is that I’m quite the isolationist. This has only been reinforced by many interactions throughout the entirely of my life. Because of this, I can’t say I’ve ever had anything really more than two friends at a time. While in a way this has helped me express myself so well through writing, it’s come at the cost of social skill. I don’t talk to anyone.

With this kind of issue you could easily imagine that the THREE PEOPLE (four now, but very limited) to ever directly talk ended up in a way shafting me. The first blocked and disconnected with me without warning or reason. At this point we’ve been talking to each for about a month and we hit it off very well and then one day, silence. Never heard from them again. That fucked me up hard when I finally realized what happened.

The second person left during the Tumblr P**n Purge. We were talking about how to contact each other on other platforms and then they stopped responding. I had already given contact to other platforms of which they pinged me in any way. Another person that I trusted massively on here just abandoned me and I’m still hurting from that. Wasn’t fair at all.

Then the third person was someone that I been following for a while. This person is actually the reason that I’ve been putting this off for so long. I don’t want them to see this post but they will. I got an ask from them that ultimately turned out to be misinformation. I said I wasn’t mad but I was. I was so fucking angry about it and I’m still kinda mad, but I didn’t want problems. I still don’t. I just didn’t want them to worry about it. This will come back later.

I try my best to be as inoffensive as possible. The problem with that is that much of the things I believe or enjoy are highly divisive. Hell, even my own identity can be seen as offence. I’m bisexual, non-binary (I’m currently still questioning this. I might actually be gender fluid but in the overall scheme, that’s worse than being non-binary), and nonreligious. I’m in a very religious area so you I’m still “in the closet” about much of this IRL. I though it would better online but with how much people are saying bisexuality doesn’t exist, or that non-binary isn’t a valid gender (or that being gender fluid make you insane and you should be locked up) and all the hate people who say they are this are getting, the very community that’s supposed to accept me, HATES me. I had a bi pride flag icon last year during Pride Month. I never doing that ever again. It was terrible.

I’m trying my best to come out of my shell like I said I would when I made this blog but it seems I’m just crawling further into it. People I think I can trust keep setting me up to fall, people I know in real life won’t ever accept my existence if they knew who I really was, and my own mental health problem and self loathing are eating me alive. But that isn’t the total of it.

Crumbling Pillar: I’ve always ended up in the position where things were thrown onto me. In which no one wanted to do, I was stuck with. Because of this not only do I have a severe distaste being around my family (beyond everything mentioned before hand) but I grew to have a negative out look on everything. This effect is still quite obvious in my writings, especially my poems. Out of the 14 poems on my poem blog @washed-soul, only one has a happy meaning.

The one happy poem was called dreams. Under a metaphor it talks about how a demon kept me trapped in a dark space. I start to get better and nearly break free before I have a negative relapse back to my old ways. The poems ends with the demon putting a end to itself leaving the nightmare in which it was keeping me in to slowly fade away, letting one crack of light peeking through to become a window to a door until one day I walk free. When writing this poem, I never thought I would find myself rebuilding the nightmare but that’s where I am.

I’m done with holding things together that other people have placed onto me. Because of this, issues have began showing in my private life. Issues that should’ve been solved decades ago are only now being addressed. This change in the status quo of my life has caused many issues in my productive and mood. Between everything else I’m too tired to do anything.

Is that a reason, is that an excuse. No it isn’t but it’s the best thing I got as a reason. I’m doing my damnedest to do the best I can but of course, when it comes to the thing that matter I just fall short. Big fucking whopha my intelligence and capability does me if I can’t use it for anything that means a damn.

Meaningless Triviality: I’m a very emotional person. I’m very strongly bound to my emotions and if everything above hasn’t given it away, my emotions are very negative prone. But it just doesn’t stop there, it goes back into my memories. I can only honestly place 3 happy memories for certain that aren’t either A) a dream or B) me escaping reality through my mind. Besides that, almost all my memories are negative.

People like to throw around the word Nihilist to describe themselves because today's culture is very, god while I hate to use this word, edgy. For those who don’t know a Nihilist is someone who views the world as being completely meaningless and reject all religious and moral principles. I very truly struggle with this outlook of life. It’s a daily for me to berate myself saying “just kill yourself” or “I want to die” or just shutting down and crumpling up while say “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry” over and over again. Hell, I did that while writing this.

I take things very hard, even the slightest transgression. I’m so used to trying to make things perfect and because people have the image that I’m the smart one, the mature one, the capable one, I’m left with the over hanging expectation of excellence. Almost no room for margin of error or being human. Since I’m the silent type, I put up no challenge and work to meet it. Only time I get any praise for anything too.

I guess as a little self promotion to my main blog, for those that have read the very first few updates of my main blog @the-truth-behind-redacted, or read Defiance’s character sheet, while The Machine and Defiance are separate character, they both share the name Machine. That in part is a reflect of said above expectation. How ravenous and inhuman it can be all under the guise of something human. Those characters are the two sides to the same coin.

Remember how I said I try to be un-problematical and how I try to avoid any potential conflict. In the first segment I told on how I lied about my feelings just so another person didn’t have to worry over something that honestly, in hindsight, wasn’t even really a big deal. But I also said how it consumed me in anger. I just don’t want to bother anyone over anything. It’s part of the reason why I am writing this post, as some way of a self enforced rehab program to get better.

This absolute consumption of negative emotion has pushed me into a non human state before. I hit a point of absolute mental exhaustion and in such a self enforced bubble of actual hatred I became completely apathetic. I felt numb to everything. I watched and heard of terrible things happening to people, and felt nothing. I watched people lives crumble before them leaving them nowhere to go and LAUGHED. “Just another worthless pathetic worm on this rotting carcass of a planet being hit with the hard reality that life doesn’t care for them. What whimsical pathetic bullshit they deluded themselves with to think otherwise.” This isn’t an exaggeration on how I thought, this is what I actually thought. Which brings me too.

The Mandatory Sob Story: Roll your eyes everyone and get the tiny violin. I guess in order for everyone to exactly understand the place I’m coming from when it comes to mental health I’ll have to detail my experiences. I have a long standing history with mental illness. I have professionally diagnosed OCD, Bipolarism, Anxiety, Chronic Depression, and visual and auditory hallucinations. I take 600 mg of Seroquel a day as well as Amitriptyline when needed. I’m also still currently in therapy to deal with said OCD, Bipolarism, Anxiety, Chronic Depression, the visual and auditory hallucinations, as well as Suicidal thoughts, and my Nihilism. There’s a reason to why I’m so god damn familiar with mental illness and treatment plans.

OCD and Bipolarism run in my family on my fathers side. My Father’s Father had them, my Sister has them, my brother most likely has them (however he refuses to see a doctor because he uses said possible mental illnesses as a get out of jail free card. He doesn’t want to be treated and he has FUCKING ADMITTED IT), my father has them, and I have them. I, however, have the misfortune of having it real bad. I said yes to well over half of all the total symptoms when I was being tested (I don’t remember exact numbers but I remember there being three pages worth of common symptoms) which was very worrying to the doctor. I was currently in an inpatient hospitalization program at the time for both suicidal thoughts and actions, and severe depression.

On that, my graze in with suicide. Before I went into my first inpatient program I was contemplating suicide. I was sat in front of a mirror with a bottle of over the counter medication. It was an unopened bottle of ibuprofen, 1000 200mg tables. What I planed to do was down the whole bottle with benadryl and die in my sleep. I had the small box of benadryl got from the Kroger pharmacy and a hand full of ibuprofen poured out looking directly into the mirror. My suicide note was sitting on the desk on my room with an online copy on my laptop open.

I sat there for an hour in the dead of midnight complicating my life. I had lost all hope in the world, filled with hatred, anger, pain, and despair. I had no god or after life to look forward too, part way hoping that a Hell existed for me to burn in. I hated myself that much. I was close to taking the first handful before before I caught a glimpse of my own eyes in the mirror. In what was in a weird sudden epiphany I realized that I truly did become what I hated but not for any reason I told myself. I became the very bastion of negativity I sought to fight and rid of in what little friends I did have. That was what set off my path to recovery in spite of the medical system. I guess if people care I’ll make a separate post on that.

Before I move on, I feel I should explain my history with the visual and auditory hallucinations. It should be no surprise that with everything else above, I also had extreme paranoia that led to me having very bad insomnia. Insomnia is, just like most other medical disorders like Depression, Self-harm, Anxiety, OCD, Bipolarism, is romanticized to hell. Insomnia isn’t having one nights bad sleep where you got 5 hours of sleep instead of 8.

You know what Insomnia is? insomnia is being physical incapable of sleeping despite not sleeping in 2 to 3 day while your body suffers massive agony brought on by this. Muscle spasms and seizing, difficulty breathing, your eyes feeling like fire ants are eating them, and of course visual and auditory hallucinations. Now I already had issues with visual and auditory hallucinations even when I could get sleep regularly but the combined effects of my OCD and Bipolarism made this perfect condition of Insomnia, Anxiety, Paranoia, with the already added in disposition to hallucinations and I felt like I was actually losing my mind.

My hallucinations presented themselves in three forms. Disassociation of reality, night terrors, or alterations of reality. Disassociation of reality often were complete black out moments. I would lose any perceived connect to reality and enter an episode of my mind. I can’t remember what they actually were but I do remember what it felt like. Cold sweats, anxiety to point where if I didn’t lock up I would vomit, actual physical pain, mind numbing fear, and intense fatigue.

The second were night terrors often in the form of horrific “things.” I do remember these and most of them were as best as I could describe, forms of things that were vaguely human and formations of industrial machinery. The most vivid one I remember was of a long lengthy apparition that was for the most part human but many locations of it’s impossible physiology were rebar beams and mechanical sockets. It began when I was about to fall asleep and it was next to my window. The thing was making week groaning and gasping sounds before it violently slammed against my window breaking it then letting out a horrific howl that I can’t describe as it tossed itself out followed shorty after with the sound of bones breaking against the dirt.

Now that might not seem so bad, exspecally with everything that is in horror movies or games now, but keep in mind that was fucking real to me. It was as real as the clicking of the keys of my keyboard as I’m writing this. As real as the chair I’m sitting in and as real as the wall in front of me. As far as my mind was concerned that thing, what ever it was, actually existed. It took me physical touching my window to make sure it wasn’t actually broken and checking outside to see if there wasn’t a body there. This isn’t the type of thing I talk about lightly.

Finally there is the alteration of reality. This is very simply but it’s something that fucked with me hard. For very little meaning or warning, I would have trouble interpreting the world around me. My hearing and sight would be warped and there wasn’t any real way to tell what I was hearing or seeing was real or not until the episode was over. The way I got through these was the ultimate fake it till you make it. Obviously, very often I failed and this created issue in my schooling.

Ending Message: I’ve been in a very bad state for a while now and as it is now, no signs of getting better. I also strongly believe my medications are being to fail me which I’ve been telling my doctor and therapist for over a year now but nothing’s been done. Mainly it’s my Depression but insomnia episodes are beginning and my own paranoia been on the rise. It’s gotten to the point where I can’t even look at a creepy image or thumbnail without having a very bad episode.

I’ve managed to eat something today which was nice but my body is cramping hard. And to possible stave of a possible comment, I’m biologically male. Like I said I’m not in the best head space, or living for that matter. If this gets better, only time will tell.

#Long post #tw: suicide #TW: Depression #Trigger Warning #TW #OCD #Anxiety #Chronic Depression #Bipolar Disorder #Bipolar #Mental Health #My mental health

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tumblunni · 7 years

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I had some sudden more ideas for npcs in the monster petshop game, and a bit of worldbuilding and stuff!

I was just consideringwhether maybe this should be a fantasy setting with different non-human races, or one that’s just all humans. I dunno, games with catchable monsters seem to ALWAYS be just humans, that’s weird now I think about it! I guess its so the line between sentient magical beings and the pet ones isn’t blurred, but in my petshop idea the monster pets can all talk anyway so that’s not an issue. Tho I dunno if it’ll be to the same degree as in the Monster Rancher anime where monsters are all so similar to humans that they can live their own entirely separate lives without a human partner, and like.. start shops and hold property and stuff. Seriously that worldbuilding is so surreal and cool, you get to see stuff like a giant golem running a little metalwork jewelry store in the background of a crowd scene. I wanna see the story of that guy! Tho it gets a bit confusing cos some monsters can’t talk, and some monsters seem to have more petlike intelligence, and those two things don’t often coincide. I still cry forever about that episode with the guy who abused his giant worm monster, and how with its design and how it doesnt talk you’d probably assume its a mindless evil monster but its actually just a quiet sad good guy and like.. how its full sentience level is revealed by it choosing to refuse an offer from the bad guys to join them, and dying trying to save the life of its abusive trainer. And how it actually does succeed in making him realise how wrong he was to treat it like an animal, and to treat animals like mindless toys! And how he breaks down crying and then how he cradles the lil baby worm and promises to do better this time, and then how his original worm comes back to life way WAY at the end of the series and I CRY FOREVERRRR ... Anyway, sorry, where was I before I got distracted?

OH YEAH! Fantasy races! Which really should be called species, but I guess it stuck cos they’re often used as metaphors/replacements for actual racial diversity, especially in traditional fantasy. IM GETTING DISTRACTED AGAIN!!! So yeah that thought led me to an idea for a particular fantasy “race” I could add. But then it somehow developed into... I dislike designing overly humanlike fantasy races, like seriously what is the point of even bothering if they look identical to humans except short or with weird ears? So I thought.. what if this “race” is actually a disease instead?

MORE LONG THOUGHTS BELOW THE CUT!

So, I was thinking they could look like just normal humans but with a greyish skin colour, odd coloured eyes, and some sort of flower growing on their head. They’d be like ‘flower spirits’ but in kind of a negative way? They look like humans because this is a sort of magical genetic condition that turns humans into this. Though they still get predjudice because people are afraid of ‘catching’ a disease that isn’t actually contagious through touch or anything, but people are happy being ignorant fucks and excluding them from society ‘just in case’ their paranoia comes true.

But anyway! The details! At any moment an inherited carrier could manifest symptoms, and rather literally manifest a glowing flower from their forehead. It grants you enhanced magical powers, but at the cost of your life being tied to that magic. The flower is like if your soul has been forcibly pulled outside your body in a very fragile form! You have to tend to it like a normal flower, and you also have to sorta feed it by doing enough magic or absorbing the energy from magical objects. (So these guys’s magical power is to negate other magics.) If left untreated it will eventually be fatal, and if the flower wilts it’ll also kill you even faster. If you fail to take care of it, it drains energy from your soul instead, which leads to the grey skintone and general weak health. But even if you keep the flower alive it’ll eventually grow too big and you’ll be unable to drain enough magic to keep up with its energy consumption. By the time the story begins, medical technology has actually advanced enough to find life extending treatments for this, even if we don’t have a complete cure. You can’t get rid of the flower but you can take medicines to slow it’s growth. I mean, really the problem is just that this thing outpaces its host, its a really impractical parasite! It ends up killing itself by getting too greedy! (Which makes me think probably the predjudiced slurs around these people would be like... ‘you got that disease cos of your greed/sin/etc’. Even though its just genetic.) And then I think the final breakthrough to save people from this disease wouldnt really be a perfect cure, just to regress it to a budlike inactive state. You’ll always be physically marked as a victim of this disease, and you’ll always have the ‘demonic’ magic-draining powers. And it’ll probably be a long time before people stop treating the sufferers like shit, even after this...

So umm.. yeah. Its kinda gonna be like an analogy for the horrible HORRIBLE way the AIDS outbreak was handled by the government, and how it happened because the victims were ‘undesireables’. And how in this post-outbreak world the whole thing’s practically been covered up, lessened, forgotten. And people still deny it, and still treat gay people like shit, and its taken so damn long to make all this progress and just... gahhhh... How pretty much every LGBTQ person who’s that old lost a dozen friends, how people got so desperate they used to hold ‘die-ins’- protesting by literally saying ‘leave me here on the doorstep’ when they were about to die. Make the politicians see exactly what they’ve done! And similarly the massive MASSIVE quilt full of patches commemorating everyone who died. God... And seriously just HOW LITTLE EDUCATION there is on this subject! Even amoungst modern LGBTQ communities! How eager we are to sweep things under the rug, even if its LITERALLY a rug made of dead queer folk! *sigh* umm.. sorry for the heavy subject matter there.

So yeah, this would be a ‘race’ in this setting, or rather a minority group, but in fantasy terms its a ‘race’ but.. whatever. Dumb language rules! Very small community of flower disease folks, treated like demi-humans. And this leads to a bunch of new ideas for npcs that could deliver this plotline! Of course, the main one would be an actual member of the flower disease folks.

I’m imagining her as just an absolute sweetheart shy gentle giant sort of lady. She’s introduced being this terrifying presence walking into the town, your protagonist being the only one who doesnt understand why everyone else is being all hushed whispers and closing all their shops. Since you come from a sheltered rich kid background, you’re very out of touch with common issues and had no clue this disease even exists. (Even though rich folks are the ones who had the power to help them, are the ones who refused, are the ones who spread the propeganda and then tried to cover up all their own failures...) So you’re the only one who treats this seemingly terrifying vagrant as a normal person, even though it’s (initially) just because you didn’t know the situation. Because of this, she ends up seeing you as a friend and coming back again. And then its up to the player whether you fall for all the predjudice and decide to cut all ties with her from here on, or whether you continue to stand up for her rights and try and change the way society treats her.

ANYWAY, her personality once she opens up to you would be the total opposite of her imposing appearance. She’s a chronic sufferer of self-hate issues, who’s been living completely alone in the forest for a long time, after being kicked out by her family and having no-one to turn to. I’m thinking she constantly speaks like... shy equivelant of Fuujin from FF8? One word sentences, but whispered instead of yelled. And like.. “.......ah..............s-....sorry........?” *questioning inflection of silence* “......uhhm........?” *unfurls hand hesitantly from under cloak and points at loaf of bread* *counts out coins meticulously, making sure to spread her hands and show she’s wearing gloves, she’s keeping them in a pouch, she hasn’t touched them* *places them on the very edge of the counter and backs away slowly, assuming you’re thinking the worst of her* *won’t take the bread directly from your hands, just in case* *struggling to speak again* “... th-.... ah-...... t-thank....... you.....” *mumbles her way out of the store quickly and awkwardly* This is kinda how she’s had to deal with buying supplies from EVERYONE EVERYWHERE. This tends to happen with like the one store in town that’ll take pity and throw her some food, at a greatly inflated price. She’s just had to like.. keep trying. Wear them down. If she keeps coming to a town repeatedly they’ll eventually get frustrated enough to give her what she wants.... or they’ll call the sheriff to chase her off. Either way she finally gets a yes or no answer on that place, and can tick it off on her cross country map of spots to find actual supplies. So she like.. CAN NOT function in a regular shop environment anymore. Probably the first hint that she isn’t really scary is how she’d totally freak out at you treating her normally! She’d be TERRIFIED!! There’s no way she’d actually agree to talking normally, she’d adamantly refuse to taking anything for free, seriously WHAT IS YOUR DEAL, ARE YOU A DEMON??? *sobs into the complimentary bread* It’d be a few visits before she actually opens up to you, and even then she’s very monosyllabic. She literally hasnt talked to anyone for years, she’s become so hardened to loneliness and cruel treatment that she can’t remember how to react to kind people anymore. And her voice is so hoarse both from this and from.. well.. the disease. She hasn’t even had the minimal treatment that’s available nowadays... for the rich, at least. So along with her sidequest being to help everyone understand her, you’re also searching for a doctor who’d treat her, and trying to save up the ridiculous amounts of money it would take. Its far easier if you succeed at destroying enough of the town’s ignorance, and make at least a few friendship links between her and your other sidequest pals. You can start having a town-wide fundraiser to get her the lifesaving medicine! Tho probably that leads to its own sidequest of having to track her down after she runs away, worried that she doesn’t deserve it and she’s just gonna cause more problems for her new friends. NOOOOOOOOOOO!

Anyway, the general structure of her as a customer is that she kinda accepts ANYTHING, and doesn’t have much money to do it with. She’s very lonely, and only built up the courage to come to this town on that first day because she heard about your petshop that sells to lower class citizens, and the idea of getting her own monster friend was like a ray of hope in her life! If you decide not to chase her away from the town, she settles in the nearby forest where all the stray monsters live, and becomes like the scary local cryptid. “I totally saw an eight foot tall woman feeding the crows!!! What the fuck!!!” She has a problem with sacrificing herself to protect all these wild animals, they’re just SO BEAUTIFUL and MAKE LIFE WORTH LIVING!! She’s always going hungry cos she gives all her food to them, and then they start to love her in return and she gets a veritable army of feral pals that’ll defend her from anyone who tries to burn her tent down again. So she starts off desperately trying to buy a monster from you, any monster, and then after she gets her first one she starts befriending the forest monsters with its help, and becomes your biggest customer of monster supplies instead. She wants to give all these wild babies the closest life to a normal pet as possible! But she also still will buy literally any monster from you, ever, anytime. Doesn’t matter that she already has fifty, she can always take care of more! Though you do get better results if you give her ones high in defense stats and etc, cos its tough to live out there in the forest, even if your trainer is going hungry to ensure you get the best snacks. Oh, and she’d probably be ABSOLUTELY OVER THE MOON if you could sell her a monster that also has flowers or flower patterns. (Tho i think protagonist would be worried it would be insensitive, but she actually does like them cos they make her feel less lonely) She’s also an incentive to help out with your cookery crafting skills! Cos initially she’s having trouble being able to access any of the other shops in the town, she’ll just buy whatever spare food you have lying around. Even your absolute worst failed dishes are like heaven to her! So you can get more exp from cooking and also make a profit from it, thus helping you get better at crafting fancy dishes for your sweet monster pals. (And your strange tall pal!) Oh, and it’d probably also be an element that people in the town try and ‘politely’ advise you that you shouldn’t sell to her ‘for your own safety’. Because of the flower people’s magic draining powers, there’s the very real worry that one of them could be buying monsters from your store just to drain them dry and slow down their own death. But it sucks to assume the worst of her before you even know her, and honestly even if someone was doing that it’s dishonest to frame them as evil and predatory when seriously they are only committing a crime TO SLOW DOWN THEIR OWN DEATH! I bet that would be the most terrifying depressing situation for them, having to kill a small animal cos you’re having an attack of your symptoms and you just desperately don’t want to die...

And now on to the other supporting npcs I thought could be useful to this plot!

I thought of maybe there being bakers cos... well, the first scene I thought of while planning her personality was her trying to buy a loaf of bread. SIMPLE BRAIN PATHS! WOO! But somehow these bakers ended up gaining a way bigger plot role than I intended O_O I’m imagining them as some sort of Super Duo, just cos this plot idea requires one who starts off sympathetic to flower lady and a boss that provides an obstacle in this. I’m thinking maybe the good guy baker sneaks bread out to flower lady, and their greedy boss is all like ‘no! There are laws in place! Food waste must be destroyed! No giving to the homeless!’ (THIS IS AN ACTUAL THING THAT EXISTS. Almost every major fast food company does it! You can get arrested for stealing food from the bins, or for being an employee who tries to give the food to someone, even if it’s excess food that would just be binned anyway.) But then I ended up humanizing the grumpy boss instead of having them JUST be an enemy. I started imagining this as a family business, and the grumpy boss is their grandma? And then i thought maybe that would be a good vehicle to deliver the backstory worldbuilding about this disease, and now I am REALLY SAD about this grumpy grandma! I was thinking maybe she’s actually someone who lost a lot of friends in the initial outbreak of flower syndrome, and used to protest against it, and became all bitter and depressed after what happened, which is why she’s such a cynical mess nowadays. I think maybe the plot would work better if its like.. the grandkid baker just THINKS that grandma would object to serving a flower disease customer, and then when grandma actually sees who’s been ‘stealing’ her profits, she breaks down crying. Nobody in her family even knew she was so close to the tragedy, she’s been keeping it secret cos even though she isn’t infected she could still be ostracized for being part of that community and all. I’m thinking its gonna just be a very direct analogue, I’m gonna say that LGBTQ people were demonized as the ‘cause’ of this disease back when it was poorly understood. ‘Its caused by greed and sin’ = people pick whichever subjective ‘sin’ they wanna blame... So grandma shows you all her quilt that she’s been keeping secret, full of patches commemorating everyone she knew who died, and tells you about how the tragedy went down and how she got her start as such a cold and untrusting person out of the fear of ever loving anyone again in case she lost them. And everyone gets to have ALL OF THE HUGS, even though hugs can’t erase what happened :( But finding a family that can support her can help flower lady right now, grandma is determined to find a way to save this one person and make up for everyone she couldn’t save! They help you on your quest to track down a doctor, and they give flower lady a place to stay as part of their family, no matter what anyone thinks! And then i think maybe after flower lady manages to get her medicine, grandma actually leaves on a journey with the doctor, to learn how to become a doctor too. She was in medical training when she was younger, before she had to drop out of education due to all that happened. And she just ended up inheriting the family bakery, even though she personally sucks at baking and hates it. (Which is why employee/grandson does all the work and stuff) So now she sees this as a chance to redeem herself, you help convince her that its not too late! She’s gonna use however many years she has left to help people! if she has to be cursed with outliving everyone, she’ll use this long life to make a difference! So its sad cos grandma has to leave on her journey, but grandson takes over the shop and flower lady is employed as an assistant. And they keep in touch with grandma in the mail. (You can sell them a good carrier pigeon monster to help!)

Another npc there could be is... another greedy guy!! I started thinking him up cos i was just wondering about who could be a friend to the grandma. I mean, the npcs have to have relationships and rivalries between each other, its not like the protagonist is the only one who matters, lol This idea i have is (for some reason) someone who looks like a younger AZ from pokemon, wearing a cowboy hat. Kinda? He’s a travelling merchant and ssssssort of the same greedy archetype as grumpy grandpa, but sort of not? He’s an even more huge penny pincher than her, but he doesn’t seem to have his heart in it. He’s constantly desperately wringing any potential money out of anything, overcharging as much as he possibly can, getting himself hurt doing silly get rich schemes. But then he’s not really a jerk about it. He’s very friendly and cares about his customers, unable to actually scam them even as he announces his intentions to do it. He’s constantly betrayed by his own kindness, and ends up giving away free stuff to anyone who has a sob story! He also never seems to actually really spend his money on himself, its not like he actually has any of the luxury he’s always rambling about. I mean, he does indeed seem to have a genuine greed and a few lofty dreams, but then he just puts all his profits in his savings no matter how much it hurts him to do it. *crying over a fancy hat as he dumps his purse in the Swear Jar*

So anyway, his connection to this plot about the flower disease is that his Secret Reason For The Greedy is only revealed if you befriend both him and the flower lady. After you progress the story enough to get her first Happy Ending of getting adopted by the baker family, her second Happy Ending of finally getting the medicine, and her third Happy Ending of becoming the new assistant baker after grandma moves away, the plot still stubbornly continues because really no ending is an ending, yknow? I’m thinking this sort of formula could work really well with a game that has no real overall plot, and is more of just a slice of life theoretically endless thing. When you’re playing Monster Rancher there’s never really any huge changes in the town you still always have the same shopkeepers and nobody even ages. And even though Animal Crossing has villagers moving in and out, its also kinda the same, there’s never any real character development or shifting of the status quo. So I’m thinking having changing generations of the town and continuity between them could be a good way to keep stuff engaging even as you keep playing the same sort of gameplay forever. Maybe some people move away, maybe some people move in, maybe some people get married or have kids, who knows!

So yeah, after the status quo change of the baker grandma moving away and flower lady leaving her homelessness tent to become a full time resident, thats’s when this new sidequest starts. Stuff still isnt instantly perfect for her, she’s still facing predjudice from some people, especially now she’s in a rather public position as an employee. All the controversy over having her work with food, even though SERIOUSLY, DUDE, you can’t catch it from just touching someone who has it! I think she’d feel absolutely terrible, she’d be worried that she’s causing her benefactors to lose business because she’s here. And she’d also have just normal social anxiety adjusting to doing her first job ever, and having to do so much talking. She was homeless since she was very young, she even has trouble with complex mathematics cos she never finished school. Another reason merchant guy could be a good friend of the family, he could help tutor her on this stuff! And general shopkeeping techniques, cos both her and grandson are both super good guy pushovers and all. (”Don’t worry, I’m a wimp too, and even I can manage to be greedy with these five simple steps! ....that’ll be 50 dollars.”) But the main plot for him and flower lady is how he finally reveals his secret reason for being so greedy. One day he just comes along leading a little girl by his hand, and lifts her up so she can see the lady at the bakery counter. “Daddy, she’s got flowers like me!!” He’s been sending all of his profits home to pay for his kid’s medical bills, and he finally decided to let you know once he met someone else with the same condition. He’s been keeping it a secret because people hate flower sufferers so much, and he desperately needs to keep up the trade route with this town otherwise he can’t afford to look after her. he’s so damn relieved to be able to stop lying to you, and to finally introduce his lil bundle of joy! And to let her see someone else with the same condition, for the first time in her life! And then the lil girl could become friends with tall flower lady, and be all like ‘you look so pretty!’ which is something nobody’s ever said to her since she got sick, and just... HEARTWARMING TIME And it could help flower lady keep hope even though predjudice hasnt completely stopped in the world. At least now she’s found some good people, and she can see that her bravery in working at this job is inspiring young sufferers to feel that their life isnt completely over. So they all send off another letter to grandma together, and have a nice family dinner with this other family, and with yours too. :3 (...also, merchant guy apologizes for lying to his close friend grandma for so long, and they laugh at how they both had so much in common and never found out until now! And she is HELLA EXCITED to meet his daughter when she comes back ^_^)

#monster shop game #thats gonna be the new tag #i need to go re-tag all of the earlier posts

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themikewheelers · 7 years

Note

tell me about your photoshop troubles. i have had the same in the past (specifically #THE AMOUNT OF VIRUSES I'VE HAD ON MY COMPUTER) and it's good to know someone else has them too 😂😂

Okay so it started last week. I've been "Photoshopping" things for years now but I've always used knockoff programs and never bothered to get the actual thing. So I decide to make an edit and I want to try using actual Photoshop this time, so FIRST I go to download the episodes but the fucking download program I got,,,,, it's in GERMAN. So I'm opening google translate and attempting to do this download, then it just crashes and it doesn't work. So then I get a rec from my friend for a good ENGLISH WORKING SAFE program so I get that and download it and the episodes. Day 1 is over. Next day I decide to download photoshop and fucking,,,,,, it's in SPANISH. Now I've been taking Spanish for 3 years now so it's to the point where I'm like "Okay I know that archivo means file so I'm just gonna stick with this" so I run downstairs and I pick up that old Spanish English dictionary I bought 3 years ago for my first Spanish class and haven't opened since, and I'm looking for the freaking import button, and the program itself DOESNT HAVE AN IMPORT BUTTON (I even clicked on that thing that was like 'show all menu options' or something like that, it still wasn't there, no import button) so THAT concludes my experience with Español Photoshop. The rest of Day 2 is downloading as many different photoshop links as I can find, just trying to find ONE that worked. I swear to God and Jesus I'm not exaggerating when I say I downloaded hundreds of things, I can open my laptop and check for the exact number but I swear it was at least 150 different things. Out of all of those, 6 of them worked. Number one was the Spanish one, and then the next one? In Italian. It worked perfectly but it was in Italian and this was one of the earlier downloads, I'm still full of hope, not just desperate for anything that says "Photoshop" on it, so I delete. Next one was Portuguese, and the one after THAT was Japanese. All of these claimed to be in English and btw I learned from my series of photoshop adventures that you can't change the language, it's connected to where you downloaded from and you have to pay to change it. So at this point I'm PRETTY far into the list of like 150 downloads, and out of the 4 that had worked so far, they were all in different languages. So understandably I'm getting very frustrated and I keep downloading things, and then finally, oh thank the lord finally, it's in English and it's working. Tears of joy running down my face-- and then my laptop just shuts off. I wait for it to power back on and then I get a little notification, it had found a virus and had to remove it. So I check and of course, English Photoshop was the virus it got rid of. So then, maybe 15 downloads later, that's when things got interesting. I find another working download, but the language of it is what's weird. It's half in English, half in Spanish. I don't ever want to look at another foreign word again. Sorry to my Spanish teacher, but this was like my 12th hour doing this and why are there so many languages to download photoshop in???? I was so exhausted, I couldn't do it anymore. I didn't want to settle at Half English though, so I delete it and keep looking. I kept looking for a while, until finally giving up. Six downloads had worked, and I couldn't use any of them. Now I think this is a good time to tell you that I'm currently having finals week, and instead of studying, THIS was what I've been doing (and it definitely didn't do anything to ease my anxiety levels). So I go and study for a few hours, figuring I'm done with Photoshop. But that's not who I am, when I spend so much time trying to do something, I'm gonna do it. Not out of determination, but it comes to a point where I'm doing it out of spite, just to say that I finally did it. So it's around 3am and I'm like "Okay I'm gonna download a few more and then I'm going to sleep" so I start downloading some and then around the third one, it's in English and it works. You can imagine my tears of joy. So I turn on FRIENDS and go the hell to sleep. Now it's day 3, I have the downloaded episodes and I have the working English photoshop, now all I have to do is make the edit, right? Wrong. I go to put the video into photoshop, and it's saying it's the wrong file type and it's not supported by Photoshop. So at first I'm like "okay that's understandable, I did just download them" so my FIRST problem is downloading a file converter. I'm not going to get into the story, but it's pretty similar to how it took to download Photoshop, hundreds of downloads, the only ones that worked are in foreign languages, and THIS was the day where I get the most notifications from my computer saying it located viruses. Now after a long long long time downloading tons of file converters, I finally find one to use. So I go to convert the files and then I try and put the converted files into photoshop and whoooop it didn't work. Now the rest of Day 3 consisted of me converting the files into HUNDREDS of different types. I converted them into basic things, things Photoshop claimed it supported, things all the people with similar problems online claimed they needed to convert into, things I hadn't even heard of. In the end, after around 15 hours of converting files, I FINALLY found something that photoshop will take. Now onto Day 4, this should be the easy day, now I just have the make the edit. Well my very first problem is that now I'm opening photoshop and I realize something, this has been going on so long I can't even remember what my idea to edit was. So then I'm just like "whatever I'll gif a random scene and put a meme on it, I gotta do something" So I go to make the gif, when I find out THE FREAKING PHOTOSHOP I DOWNLOADED DOESNT HAVE THE ANIMATION TIMELINE. I don't know why it didn't have it, but it didn't. So I end up going online and downloading the timeline separately, basically using it kinda like a psd. So I get the timeline and I want to make the gif and remove some frames, but for whatever reason my Photoshop doesn't let me select multiple frames at once, so I have to go through like 500 frames and manually delete each of them to get what I want. Now I think now is the time in this story to tell y'all that I'm not just stupid or anything. I know how to use Photoshop, I've been using it since I was in the sixth grade, I used to be in the digital editing club at my school, I know how to use photoshop, it's just this program is so wacky nothing is working. So manually I delete like 450 frames and after that everything with making the gif seems to be going well, up until it's time to add the text. I start typing and the font I'm using? Times New Roman. But instead these random symbols are showing up and it won't let me change it. So I just delete everything and start over and then I get up to adding text again, and this time symbols aren't showing up, instead just whatever letter I press, it just puts in a dash. So I'm tryna write the subtitles and instead what's coming up is "----------------" Now, after several several several redos it FINALLY starts writing letters, and there are a few more minor issues but for the most part everything is running smoothly, I finally make the gifs.So to conclude, this gifset took 4 days, 6 languages, hundreds of downloads, God-knows how many viruses, and an entire ocean of tears, but I finally made the gifs.Here's the link. God obviously determined that my making of this was a sin, because he definitely did everything in his power to make it stop, but dammit this was one of the most frustrating experiences of my life>>> enjoy http://themikewheelers.tumblr.com/post/156287152865

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omglr · 5 years

Conversation

your media is lying to you, my media is not... a 2 hour circle jerk.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You both like climate change.

You: howdy

Stranger: hey

You: so, climate change eh?

You: pretty shitty

Stranger: do you believe this?

You: yeah

You: you?

Stranger: i dont

You: oh, ok

You: why not?

Stranger: in the 80's they talked about a ice time coming. climate change is just a way to make people open up their wallets and make more money

You: you might also consider that climate denial is also a way to line the pockets of people who are in power and don't want change

Stranger: no since most people in power support climate change. except countries like china and trump

You: China believes in Climate change though

Stranger: if they did they would take action. if they truly believed

You: https://newrepublic.com/article/155136/what-china-bad-response-climate-crisis

You: they have been

Stranger: they dont take action at all they build more factory's. China is not going with this climate change flow. if they really believed they would take drastic actions. actions speak louder then words

You: lol, ok

Stranger: just because the media tells this about china doesnt mean its true you know

You: mmmmm, well where do you get your media from?

You: like, if you can't trust sources of information, how are you forming your world view?

Stranger: i from my world view to listen to anyone and read every news. then it's easy to compare. if like you only visit one news site your doing it all wrong. and since i started doing this i can see through the lies

Stranger: many news website for example have a political agenda. after all even news people are voters and believe something. they are not neutral

You: so all the scientific journals that say climate change is real, humans are behind it and if we don't take action we'll all die are just propaganda?

Stranger: well, they asked like a couple hundred scientist about this climate change. many scientist disagree but were not taken in this enquete! many people dont know this. this is how they got their 80% thing which is false

You: is the United Nations trust worthy?

https://www.un.org/en/climatechange/science.shtml

Stranger: no lol. United nations and trust. if you trust them your long way from home

You: just asking

Stranger: no offense tho

You: it seems like your mind is made up

Stranger: well no first i was like hmm climate change let me read in. and when i did and think for myself and heard from all sides i knew this is bullshit

You: does the occurrence of 4 or 5 type five hurricanes each summer suggest there is a problem?

Stranger: no. you know why a hurricane comes?

You: why?

Stranger: The earth has its own temperature device like a inner clock to cool itself down. hurricane do this they cool down the inner core of the earth. over the centuries tons and tons of hurricanes been there. they point it out now in the media to make you scared and you fall for it

You: ok, cool, so the earth has ways to solve climate change on its own

You: do you think we'll survive the earths mechanisms?

Stranger: the earth has its own way to deal with when the inner core gets too hot yes. like our body can do this too when we have a fever

Stranger: yes i do think

You: well, its sounds great

Stranger: it does. i dont fall for people anymore who trying make me afraid all to make more money cause thats what its about in the end

You: i mean, i would love to have such an out look based on wishful thinking

Stranger: i can recommend it to everyone to see trhu the lies

You: so if climate change activists teamed up with anti-capitalist movement would you be more interested?

Stranger: few years ago they said there is a hole in the horizon, remember? nothing you hear about this anymore. it wass to make you scared. now its climate change. way way before was they said there is coming a ice time

Stranger: no

You: the o-zone?

Stranger: yes

You: yeah, i guess they said, consumers should stop buying hairspray and aerosole products

Stranger: yeah exactly they made us afraid with this o-zonde story. before that in the 80' they said ice time and now its climate change

You: and then they said... well shit these uv rays could cause problems down the way

Stranger: yeah and we are still here

You: and we are facing problems with a hot ass earth

Stranger: nah

You: like hurricaines

Stranger: its raining here lol

You: like the plankton in the ocean dying

You: like forest fires

You: like the polar caps melting

Stranger: did you know that many years ago in egypt there was water and jungle where now is dessert?

You: yeah, dude, it happened due to deforestation

Stranger: forest fires like the one in brasile have been every year before you were born. you hear it now cause it aids their agenda

Stranger: it happened yes but not because us humans

You: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Great_Green_Wall

Stranger: you shouldn't believe wikipedia literally everyone can add something in. this is what i mean think for yourself dont believe everything on the web you read

You: lol

Stranger: i can go wikipedia now and change things

Stranger: its that easy

You: i understand how it works

You: it does have a community based vetting process

Stranger: well then you know many people add wrong information to make you believe the things

Stranger: i readed a lot on wikipedia stuff that were inaccurate so i stopped using it

You: ok, but, you understand the Green wall is a real project the African union is working on right?

Stranger: could be. there are so many climate and green projects i lost count

Stranger: i separate my trash because i know plastic is bad for our nature. cause this you can see and its proven. so i do this. but not because climate change

You: good job

Stranger: i own a bike instead of car cause i know its dirty air and better for health. now for example angela merkel from germany went to united nations meeting in three separated airplanes with staff

Stranger: all hypocrites

Stranger: they know they sell a lie

Stranger: barrack obama bought a house in the middle of the ocean surrounded by sea

Stranger: prince harry gave climate speech day after took private airplane wich is double dirty

You: donald trump built walls around his ocean side property to prevent rising water from fuckin them up

Stranger: donald trump doesnt believe in climate change. barrack obama does! now why he bought house with land if he was so afraid the sea gonna rise. he knows its a lie the left-party sells people and everyone fooled

You: https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/exxon-knew-about-climate-change-almost-40-years-ago/

You: this is a pretty interesting article

Stranger: But what do you make of that? Angela Merkel in three separates airplanes. Prince Harry after climate speech in private dirty airplane. Leaonardo dicrapio uses his private jet more then we will ever fly. what you say to this? these people who wanna sell you climate change

You: shrug??? rich people got places to be

Stranger: so thats your excuse?

You: we can/should hold them accountable

Stranger: they are rich people who need to go places so then its okay?

Stranger: they want you to pay taxes over airplanes but they can fly often in private jets. lol wake up

You: idk man, i guess we should invest in better trains?

Stranger: no. we should start with out leaders and celebrities who sell you and i climate scare stories. and then use private jets a lot and use it more then we ever will fly. they are big hypocrites

Stranger: instead of blaming the people we should start with them

You: mmmm, they are just people though

Stranger: but they use their power and influence to make you scared and pay taxes

You: we should probably blame companies who pay less taxes then they should and exploit their workers and the environment

Stranger: isn't it hyprocite that you have own private jet and use it much in a year, and i mean really much. but then say to everyone climate change is coming we should add fly taxes and you should pay more insurance

You: like, i'm litterally too poor to pay taxes, but i am happy to suggest that rich people pay more taxes

Stranger: here exactly you are too poor to pay taxes and still they want you to pay more!! but themselves they keep living their wealthy life

You: yeah man, so you are into anti-capitalism after all?

Stranger: now what i say instead of pumping all this money into waste projects for climate change. give it back to the people. so people like you have lower taxes and better healthcare and more income so the economy grows

You: lol, oh nevermind

Stranger: aslong you cant even pay taxes why the hell you support them plans they even wanna you pay more taxes its insane

You: what? i make like 25 grand a year and pay no taxes, cause i am floating on the poverty line, but yeah, Jeff Bezos should pay taxes, probably 95% of his wealth should be seized and put to use on infrastructure and sustainable living projects to improve the life of the average and poor person

Stranger: yeah well that's not gonna happen. rich people stay rich.

You: but yeah, climate action is just a scheme to make money, and change is bad

Stranger: the system is not made to make rich people poor

You: does that not bother you?

Stranger: ofc it does. it bothers me that there are millionaires who buy golden cars and some people cant even afford healthcare. it's sick! but thats how the system works. rich people stay rich and poor stays poor

You: so... if there was a movement that helped mobilize people to change that would you be interested?

Stranger: people are waking up slowly, not many people but more then 10 years ago. they started think for themselves and see through this big lies. if there was a movement i believed in i supported them ofc.

Stranger: look how many people buy this climate bullshit. its insane how easy people get fooled

Stranger: if you tell a lie long enough, eventually it becomes the truth

You: well i don't know man, I believe in climate change, but i also believe in raising class consciousness and kicking rich peoples asses, i think tackling them together makes a lot of sense...

Stranger: well those rich people you wanna tackle made up this climate change, to make more money out of you!

You: so, you know, you continue to believe what Exxon wanted you to believe in the 1980s

You: i'lll keep do what i'm doing

Stranger: if you wanna kick the rich people then stop buying their bullshit. that simple

You: idk man, rich people also want to gut the social safety net programs in my country and kill the environmental protections we put in place too, that doesn't sound like a great idea

You: like, i get that it seems weird that Matt Damon is using his platform to talk about climate change when he won't stop using planes to get places to talk about it

Stranger: Do you know this Greta? This child climate activist?

You: yeah?

Stranger: well this Greta her manager works for the company of george soros. world riches man! dont you see it? its all a big lie

You: uh.... lol

Stranger: you can google this

Stranger: fact check it

Stranger: its true

You: she also famously sailed to new york on a sail boat

Stranger: this greta is a child en they use her because children make people weak and soft and you buy the lies

You: her message is, "listen to scientists and stop betting against my generations future"

Stranger: her message is what they told her to say

You: lol, ok man

Stranger: it is not a coincidence that her manager works for george soros. it is not a coincidence. that should already show you something

You: again, your message is what exxon wants you to say

You: like you are doing this work pro-bono

Stranger: what work?

You: spreading the message that inaction is the right thing to do

Stranger: didnt you hear me? i told to take action against the lies!

You: shrug

Stranger: and lol i have a bike, separate trash, never flied, eat biologic. so dont come to me saying i dont take action. i do more then enough but what i dont do is fall for lies

You: i am gonna take action to prevent extinction

Stranger: lol

Stranger: we wil survie this wake up

You: ok, cool

You: we will

Stranger: you got fooled and believe in lies. think for yourself

You: I am down for the human race surviving

You: again, we can both say think for yourself over and over

Stranger: aslong as we humans think for ourself and listen God's word we will survive and we will stay strong

You: ok dude

You: :) i beleive in us

Stranger: why dude. thats so negative lol

You: we can do this

You: oh sorry, just a regional affect

Stranger: i think you and i think about many things the same only with all respect you fall for the lies and i woke up

You: well man, i think you and i think about many things the same only with all respect you fall for the lies and i woke up

You: agreed

Stranger: well no. cause you follow the climate change lies. so no i dont agree at all.

Stranger: you havent woke up you believe in media news that climate change is killing us

Stranger: how many times have this same media told that donald trump is gonna get removed through the years lol

Stranger: they sell lies

You: lol

You: perhaps the states is an oligarchy?

Stranger: and is copying my message exactly to the last word thinking for yourself or repeating what i said? like you repeating what the media says

You: i am just saying, "i know you are but what am i?" and its childish, but the point that i think you believe lies too, and they are convenient to rich people staying in power and hurting poor people whether its by poor people dying by climate change or poor people dying by poverty

You: like, to me class warfare is intertwined

Stranger: if you think rich people dont stay in power then idk who falls her for the lies

You: i am hoping they won't in the future, but we'll see

Stranger: they will lol. its a disney story to believe else

You: is that a typo, or an awesome metaphor?

Stranger: both

You: lol

You: its great

Stranger: over the centuries rich people stayed rich. and poor stayed poor. not the future gonna change this

Stranger: doennt mean i wish to see it different but be realistic is also the key

Stranger: in my dream world nobody is poor. this never gonna happen its not realistic

You: welp, i mean, if we all die via climate meltdown, it will be a classless planet

Stranger: we dont die of climate. we rather die of greed and warfare and overpopulation

You: mmm... the treat of over-population is also a myth spread by rich eugenicists and could easily be solved if we dissolved capitalism in favour of food and resource distribution networks

You: but yeah, greed and warfare for sure

Stranger: lol no. overpopulation is real i see it in my own country

You: where do you live?

Stranger: the netherlands. we dont have enough houses! land is full. now 17 million... in 2050 there are 20 millions

Stranger: i can see it effect already here so i know its real

You: what? there are 20 millon people in my city

Stranger: holland is very small country. we have 17 million now. and in 2050 20 million

Stranger: but now already not enough houses

You: ok man, so maybe people will migrate or build houses/buildings/skyscrapers?

You: there is enough land to spread out on elsewhere

Stranger: migrate? thats not a solution cause sooner or later other lands are full aswell

Stranger: lol no

Stranger: have you ever been in europe

You: yeah

Stranger: you lived here or just visited

You: visited for multiple months

Stranger: yeah. well if you live here long time. you see things different. same thing as if i would go live there with you that i see things different

Stranger: the land is full. immigration is a killer

You: still the origin of "the treat of over-population" comes from eugenicists

Stranger: the origin of the immigration comes from wars in middle-east made up by governments sponsoring terrorist cells to overthrow governments in middle-east for either money or oil. those people flee and come here and stay here

Stranger: every month people comes here by 1000

Stranger: but media keeps it silence

Stranger: cause media is not neutral

You: yeah, man.... like, the media is probably in cahoots with 'big oil'?

Stranger: no the media is founded and sponsored by left-people. thinking immigration is good and should continu. so any negative news regarding it wont be in the news

Stranger: people who dont see this are truly blind

You: lol, its possible that rich people are co-opting leftist narratives to get you to have compassion for displaced immigrants so that they can continue to exploit the resources in these other countries

Stranger: Well, Holland is in Europe controlled by Europe Union. Europe Union sees and wants immigration as the world should be mixed. thats what they believe in. they make the laws for us. the left-media are people who think alike, hence why never any negative news regarding immigration is here. police have been told to keep down reports about immigration people who steal, rob, rape to not make them look bad and to make everyone believe it is good

You: also, if climate change is real, the people who are gonna get effected earliest are brown folks near the equator, so not having compasion for them is convenient, kinda why lots of right wing folks are leaning into white-nationalism in north america

Stranger: immigration here doesnt happen cause climate change i already pointed out

You: yeah.... it happens here,

Stranger: i believe when you say that. you know you country better then i do. but trust me also if i tell you this about my country

Stranger: there are many racist also out there sadly

You: yeah its awful

Stranger: it is. racist is so low-key. and narrow-minded

You: lots of cruelty in the world and misplaced anger

Stranger: but its easy to call someone a racist so they dont have to discuss the actual problem

Stranger: here everyone calls you racist quickly

Stranger: so they dont have to discuss the actual problem i just told you

You: well dude, we've been chatting for like an hour and a half, i should probably go make a sandwich or go for a walk

You: its been a good convo though

Stranger: and vote trump

You: lol, no i doubt i would do that

Stranger: hahha i thought you say that

You: i am also canadian

Stranger: ahhhhhhh

Stranger: nice

Stranger: but your prime minister sucks

Stranger: crybaby

You: gonna vote for the NDP

Stranger: whats that lol

You: it's the new democrats party, they are left of the liberals who are in power now

You: likely due to this racist black face fiasco the liberals will lose and either the conservatives and their super regressive racist agenda will win, or the NDP

You: ndp has lots of good socialist policies

Stranger: yeah its insane that you cant dress up as a black person on a party for halloween lol

You: mmmm, i mean, yeah its racist

Stranger: no its not. its a halloween party lol

You: i think blackface is more common in scandanavia?

Stranger: im really sick of these racist callers crybaby's. they ruin all the fun and always yell "racist"

You: like... their is some kinda chimney sweep character?

You: does that sound familiar or is that somewhere else?

Stranger: hey it's a halloween party you can dress like my grandma it should be possible. people get insulted way way too fast if you ask me

Stranger: yeah sound familiar

You: like, he was dressed up as aladdin, he could have done that with out painting himself black

You: that's sorta the issue

Stranger: i'm anti-racists. they are low people. but come on dressing up on halloween being called racist lol

Stranger: aladdin is black after all or dark. nobody gives a shit only the crybaby's

Stranger: if aladdin was white you would hear NOBODY about this

You: like, the aladdin in the disney cartoon was light skinned dude voiced by a white guy

You: had he worn the same outfit, but not painted his face and body black, that would have been different

Stranger: aladdin was tanned color, not dark but like tanned dark if you can say this. but whatever. if you cant dress up like black aladdin and people cry over this THAT shows exactly what is wrong with those people. always yelling racist while this guy isn't even racist at all lol

You: like, idk, its perhaps a north american issue cause of our slavery and vaudville history

Stranger: yeah people just like to yell racist and cry. its really sick. its says more about them if you ask me

Stranger: if someone dress up like a white cartoon i dont give a shit nor other white people

Stranger: black people stay playing victim

You: i mean, its annoying cause the conservative who are actively working against people of colour are using it to cry racist and win control

You: like, so that's the part that annoys me the most is that we are gonna end up with a much more actively racist government

You: but anyway.... its a whole thing

Stranger: working against someone based ONLY because their skin color is so sad! judging someone on their skincolor is sad! But dressing up like a dark disney figure using bit too much dark makeup and people get angry.... those angry people are sad

Stranger: there are bigger work problems like a aladdin costume lol

Stranger: then a ****

Stranger: but nowadays you cant say any joke about black people or jews or you are called racist

Stranger: its insane

You: i feel like you are baiting me to call you racists by pointing out these actions you mentioned are infact racist actions

Stranger: i have a friend who is jew and a friend who is black and we joke about this things and we are good friends. thats how its suppose to be not taking everything so serious

Stranger: you can call me racist lol i dont give a f*** i know what i am and what i am not

You: its possible they don't feel like they have the social capital to tell you it annoys them and that friendship with bigoted people is better than being alone because of feelings of low self-worth (cause by accepting racism)

Stranger: no they make same jokes and last time we laughed with tears about a joke my jew friend made

Stranger: we understand humor

You: ok, well, you know your scene

Stranger: yeah. unfortunately most people are fast insulted and cry fast. but not taking everything so serious and being able to make jokes should be possible its even healthy

You: ok bud, i really do have to go, you take care!

Stranger: you too

You: thanks

You have disconnected.

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