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contractbound · 13 days

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On Birthdays...

Months-old thoughts on my birthday (and birthdays in general), ranging from my current-day speculations on my "birth" to my relationship to the concept over the centuries. Taken from private messages and reformatted more into essay form (albeit a messy one, riddled with author's notes written today).

December 2023 ; 1459 words

In the present day, I oftentimes wonder what that day in April (I can never remember which day) means for me in specific. (Author's Note: Turns out it's the 17th. I was reminded by my friends wishing me a happy birthday on call at midnight last night.) Is it actually the day I came into existence, or does it have some other kind of significance? Since its specifically listed as my birthday, I'd assume it's the former, unless it's a symbolic "birth" in some way, shape, or form.

There's also the issue of how Tey/vat's days and months may differ from Earth's, and the accuracy of this birthday. I mean, it's probably the closest equivalent we have, since I'd imagine there's a "language barrier" (so to speak) between Tey/vat's time and Earth's time that's too severe to overcome. I probably couldn't figure out a "truer" birth date for myself even if I tried (though being canon divergent is always a possibility as well).

Also, thinking about my "birthday" within my and Gen/shin's general canon makes me wonder how I came into existence in the first place. Did I just spawn in? Did I have any form of "parent" or creator? I could be wrong, but my current theory is I simply manifested somehow (as in without the direct and intentional influence of outside sources), more or less fully grown, just obviously naive because I was new to the world. (Author's Note: Cloud Re/tainer's story has since more or less confirmed my suspicions by citing adep/ti as having been "born amongst the elemental energy that courses between heaven and earth", which aligns with my speculations. I find this information very interesting.)

Leaning fully into the topic of canon now, it's probably not that hard to guess how I might have regarded my birthdays during my time on Tey/vat. One thing I was very good at was staying in eternal stasis, specifically in a state of not caring for myself. It's not like I could even afford to care, most of the time. As such, for most of my life I had never once given my birthday any importance, and I doubt I ever acknowledged or even remembered it much, at least not without prompting from other people. (Author's Note: To an extent, I know I'm lying about not being able to afford to care for myself. I definitely couldn't afford to do so earlier in life, but after Mo/rax took me in, it was less of an issue. At times, it was even encouraged. Like I mentioned before...prompting from other people.)

Still, even if I never gave it any importance, I probably still had different views on the concept of "birthdays" depending on what stage in my life I was at.

Very early in my life (I'm not sure the exact timeline but I'm talking the first few centuries or even decades), I doubt I had any awareness of the concept of a birthday, or what significance it had. I was probably more or less aware of how much time i had existed for, but human concepts were not even on my radar.

Once I'd gotten into the habit of looking into people's dreams, I might've gotten glimpses of birthday celebrations, among other aspects of human culture. But since it would only be small zero context glimpses, I don't think that would have given me a thorough grasp on the concept anyway. I'm going to go with the assumption that I regarded birthdays with a little bit of acknowledgement and importance, but not at all towards myself because I wasn't aware that it could apply to me. My understanding, curiosity, and enthusiasm would only have been directed towards others and towards the concept itself.

Under my former god, they gave me a better look at human life and culture, and an even more potent look into their dreams. Something as specific as birthdays were likely never a focus, but would still be one of the many things I'd get to learn more about as I gained a further understanding of humans and how they worked. Unfortunately, this god was one that, at least during the war, resented human life, only seeing it as something to make an example of or use to their advantage. That's a tangent, however.

Basically, they weren't the best teacher for this kind of thing. While that phase of my life greatly deepened my understanding of dreams and anything about humanity that was revealed to me through them, the principles and beliefs drilled into me were cruel, and I acted accordingly. Overall, I'd say I gave the concept of birthdays minimal acknowledgement. The only importance given to it (if any) would probably have been according to the god's agenda. I still wouldn't be applying the concept to myself at all, and honestly my perception of time was probably completely demolished as well.

After being taken in by Mo/rax and having all the other Yak/shas with me, I was a lot more closed off towards the world. I was no longer curious or adaptable, and only wanted to focus on fulfilling my contract (i.e being nothing more than a weapon). The other Yak/shas did not share this sentiment, and were endlessly curious about mortal life. Of course, Mor/ax didn't share my sentiment either. Being our god, he had no intention to completely distance himself from the humans he had to protect and govern.

In the case of the other Yak/shas, if they knew their "birthdays", or picked some for themselves, I don't doubt they'd want to celebrate themselves and each other whenever the day came. Thinking about it, I get the feeling that if our birthdays were symbolic, chosen dates, we'd pick the days Mo/rax took us in...but that's tangential.

The others wouldn't let me off the hook until I told them my "birthday", and then when the day rolled around, wouldn't let me off the hook until I celebrated with them. I was stubborn, and considered it frivolous, but couldn't avoid them without feeling at least a little bad....so I let it happen. I was forced to acknowledge the occasion known as the birthday and give it importance. Not just as a general concept, either, but specifically mine and those of the people closest to me.

Well, I say "forced", but honestly, i came to enjoy it over time. Not that I'd ever admit it then.

As for the general concept and human customs, I closed myself off from that and stopped feeling curious. It really felt best to distance myself from mortal affairs as best as I could, and not involve myself more than necessary. Still, it was hard to completely distance myself when I had the others to forcibly involve me.

In the centuries following Fu/she's disappearance, I was completely closed off and truly lived only to fight, save for a few foolish personal endeavours. I could probably ramble on about this period of my life in general, but specifically in the context of birthdays, I don't think I have any insight.

Finally, in the time after meeting Aether...in many cases, it was like being back with the others. He developed a stubborn interest in me, and made me open my eyes to the world around me again. For the first time in centuries, I allowed my birthday to be acknowledged and celebrated.

The first time he wished me happy birthday and prepared a celebration for me, it was probably quite jarring. Honestly, I don't know if I ever got fully used to it. But I did eventually come to enjoy it. Over time, I opened up and let myself be curious again, and with Aether living regularly among mortals, I got to learn more than I ever had, with no strings attached, no ulterior motives. I doubt I ever came to fully embrace/understand mortal traditions, maybe calling them frivolous or confusing, but inside I enjoyed learning, and most of all sharing it with him.

Overall, this is probably the most (healthy) acknowledgement and importance I'd be giving to my birthday, and slowly I'd be letting myself be curious about birthdays as a general custom too. I'd also come to look forward to Aether's "birthday" as well, whether it was actually the day he came to be, or something symbolic.

I could never forget any other friends I'd let into my life, either. My social circle grew over time, and I had bridged many gaps between myself and the people around me. Most memorably, I grew closer to the other adep/ti, and occasionally joined their festivities.

Perhaps between immortals, the concept of a "birthday" works differently from how mortals go about it, but the sentiment stays the same.

#laments #kinposting #fictionkin #hello‚ i'm still here. just forgot to do anything but lurk again #if i were to share these thoughts‚ i figured this would be as good a day as any to do so #to me these thoughts are directionless and a whole lot of nothing and i wonder if any of this is outdated by now #but i'll archive this here anyway regardless of perceived quality and if i feel like it i can try rewriting this at any time

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once-was-muses · 4 months

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[ I don't know how to the preface this otherwise, but in the hopes of not getting more anonymous questions about my recent hiatus and the personal issues that lead to it I'll leave a list for the asker(s) to read at their leisire. I will only mention the things I'm comfortable and willing to, and- unless something in regards to both the situation and my own feelings change- I will not be addressing any part of it publicly in any way going forward. ]

[ No one has any obligation to pity me or even read this. I don’t know what to tag this as- it doesn't really contain any of the typical triggers- so please exercise caution if you decide to read anyhow. Readmore-ed for the sake of not taking up too much of the dash. I am going to be inactive for a few hours at least as this was difficult to type out, but I'm fine and I will be fine- I know saying "don't worry" doesn't necessarily stop anxiety, but I will reassure as such anyhow. ]

I have memory issues. Part of them is definitely due to ADHD, but it doesn't seem like that's the only cause. Whatever the whole problem is, my memory started failing more and more towards the middle of last year, seeming the worst I could remember them being in November-early December. Obviously since I have memory issues, I can't say for certain that they had actually reached the worst they'd been as I have no solid recollections to compare with. This point lead to, or exacerbated a few others on this list.

Towards the beginning of last year I think it was, my suspicions of being aromantic reached a peak and I decided to try the label on. I was in a relationship at the time, and I was transparent about it with my then-partner (still tied as best friend with the members of our mutual real life friend group.) I told him I fully understood if he wanted a mutually romantic partner, and a few days later he told me he did and we returned to just friends. Months later, I'm having doubts about being aro again; I think what I experience is a mixture of my autism and personal problems with romance that I need to unpack on my own. What upsets me most about this point is that I seem incapable of starting that conversation with him as I feel he deserves out of respect, and it feels like I'm disrespecting him furthermore by being afraid when he's done nothing to justify that in the almost 10 years I've known him.

Related to the above point; when I told another friend outside of Tumblr and real life circles that I think I might be aromantic, I discovered firsthand that they're aphobic. For over five years now, I never knew them to be bigoted in any way. Obviously I've cut all ties with them.

Both my mother and grandfather have had multiple health scares last year- some were preexisting for my grandfather, but the three with my mother are all very new. All are being treated and handled well, but that won't stop my anxiety from trying to convince me otherwise.

During that aforementioned November-December period, I was extremely paranoid of forgetting things and kept feeling like I'd forgotten something important I'd promised to do for someone. To my knowledge, I hadn't, but I was thoroughly convinced.

Worth mentioning as a preface for this point that I rarely remember my dreams, and have some kind of disorder that effects my ability to reach REM sleep in the first place. Also during that period, I had a number of vivid but realistic nightmares that I couldn't remember were only nightmares. I hesitate in fear of sounding overdramatic, but for a couple weeks I more or less had false memories. I still can't place if some things did actually happen. This has happened before, but I've always been able to dismiss things as dreams before.

Once more during this period, I had managed to forget the identities of some individuals in part responsible for some actually substantial drama (meaning beyond the typical petty things most see), also involving two now former friends. I made another mistake in panicking when confronted with screenshots I wasn't in of a server neither of them were in and reacted closed off and reluctant to share any information one way or the other. I absolutely will not be divulging anything about the pair. Regardless of my feelings or want to apologize, I respect that I hurt them and their desire not to speak with me anymore- and especially their privacy.

I have been stalked out of a different rpc years before I entered this one. A member of that community that assisted in stalking me reached out around the same time as the above point. This is small and it's stupid that it had the effect on me that it did, but I figure it's related and thus worth mentioning.

Several of my co-workers left last year, revealing some not great practices going on behind the scenes of what is essentially my ideal job and one I wanted since I was a kid. I still have the job, and while I haven't experienced any of the issues firsthand to my knowledge- none were extreme or too bad, but the fact anyone was mistreated upsets me- I still feel guilty occasionally for not only keeping the position but enjoying it. I can't remember exactly what some of the mistreatments were, either, which makes me feel all the more guilty.

One of our regulars at my job died in the building last year. I didn't know of the fact until the next day despite interacting with that regular at least three times I can remember the day they died. There have also been a number of emergencies regarding patrons in a comparatively short span of time this last month. I am incapable of worrying about myself, and thus my anxiety has latched onto the wellbeing of my coworkers.

#They Pull the Strings : OOC

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savage-rhi · 3 days

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Hi hun, I haven't seen you around much and I know things have been super rough lately but I hope you're doing ok ✨

@vodkafolie Hey, hon 💙 Lot's been happening over here in my neck of the woods (literally, lmao). I'm gonna info dump.

I've been doing odd jobs to keep me afloat.

I got selected for another mental health program. The person running it is a well-known psychologist. I applied for this back in late December. Didn't think I'd get in since there were 1800+ candidates going for it, and I'm 1 out of 32 that made the cut. If the sample group of clients I get for the next 8 weeks goes smooth, I'll have a full-time remote job by Summer. I'm not putting my eggs all in one basket, though. I'm still looking for regular work.

The business proposal with the mental health app picked back up. We are supposed to meet sometime next week to discuss further if we're gonna move forward and what the partnership might look like.

I'm speed running through one of my graduate classes and going at a snails pace in the other. The technical jargon is burning me out, but my grades are good.

My college advisor and profs want me to attend summer term for the program, but alas *opens wallet and watches moth fly out* I've been going back and forth with them on how unless they're gonna cover for me, I can't do it until I have stable employment.

I'm meeting a long covid specialist. My secondary PCP discovered I may have undiagnosed POTS, and this fungal blood infection I had in my body last Summer (late August, early September) might be making a comeback. Some symptoms have returned. I'm not surprised. That's how I got it in the first place last year cause of immunity issues post-covid. I had to go on a strict diet for almost 3 months, take some nasty as shit medication, and I lost over 50 pounds. Hindsight, the weight loss was good for me, but if I have to do that again I'm gonna be bones by the end of it this time around.

With all the parasites, fungus's and other nasty shit I've caught and lived through, I'm either gonna be super human immune to everything and my blood will be the universal cure for all horrible shit, or one day I'm gonna be patient zero for something god awful. I've made peace with either option 😂

I got a vendor spot at a convention that's happening in less than a week. I've been prepping for that and hoping I make some money.

I'm taking a break on some of my long fics and writing requests, bbbuuuuttttttt...I also had a batshit crazy idea for a Luis Serra fic, and I'm balls deep invested. It's the only thing keeping me from a full writers block right now.

It's been...a lot, but oddly enough I'm happier than I was. I'm worn out, tired, and still stressed about money, but I'm not depressed like I was. Things are getting better in some ways. I'm trying to self-care the best I can, and reign in the ambition so my body has a chance to recoup.

Thanks for coming to my TedTalk 💙🫂😂 I hope you've been doing well hon! I've been re-reading some of your work as of late too. It's been fun for me!

#disclaimer so no one thinks im being negligent: when I say i'm speed running through a college course its cause im well versed #in the material and i can work weeks ahead of schedule #sending ya love hon lemme know if you want to talk further at any point!#ive obviously been busy as shit but i'll try my best #same goes to others who have reached out wondering where the fuck ive houdini'd off too #parasites viruses and fungus think my body is sexy~#lmfaoo #if you take anything from this

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tellthemeerkatsitsfine · 4 months

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This is a fun thing about this John Robins/Elis James radio show: even the oldest episodes are recent enough so I can find the stuff they reference. On The Bugle, Andy Zaltzman sometimes complains about reviews but I often struggle to find them when I look them up, mainly because he seems to be mostly upset about reviews he got in about 2001 (aside from those few weeks in early 2017 when John Oliver had recently left The Bugle and Andy complained repeatedly and with clearly genuinely hurt and bitterness about the reviewer who called him a “left-behind sidekick”, he did not name the reviewer but that phrase was enough to successfully Google it, and Dominic Maxwell can fuck go fuck himself for that one). However, Robins and James mostly complain about stuff that is well within the timeline of Chortle archives, so it’s fun looking them up to compare the reality to their description.

In this case, John Robins also did not specifically mention the publication of the review, but he did call it the big comedy trendsetting website, and since my Tumblr blog didn’t exist in 2014 I figured that just left one option. And I was right. Here is a clip of John Robins on his XFM radio show on August 23, 2014, broadcasting from Edinburgh, discussing the show he did the night before and that had a reviewer in:

And here is the corresponding review.

John Robins made it sound like any review coming out of that night would be a lot worse than three stars. This Tornado Loves You, his 2014 Edinburgh show, is my favourite John Robins show of the three that are on his Bandcamp page (which means, my favourite John Robins show from before his big award-winning Darkness of Robins). It's useless to reduce something as subjective as comedy to a quantitative measurement, but also, I think that show was a solid four stars, and the review gave it three. However, three stars isn't that bad, and the review overall was all right. And they did acknowledge that there were circumstances beyond John Robins' control (that's how I know for sure that this was the night he was talking about, that they described the same unfortunate events in the radio show and in the review).

Reading that review did remind me of how much I like that John Robins show, and I've also thought of that as I've listened to the radio episodes he did while performing it in Edinburgh and then touring it (I'm into the December 2014 radio episodes now). So I decided to re-listen to it tonight. It's on Bandcamp, in case anyone else wants to do the same This Tornado Loves You, it says 2015 on Bandcamp because that version was recorded during his tour the following year, but it was his 2014 show).

I'm starting this post before actually listening to it, thought I'd use this to write down thoughts as I have them.

- Oh, he opens with the “pussy line” bit, which that mostly mediocre review mentioned as a highlight, but it makes me wince. I don’t even know why, it’s the sort of cynical observation I like, and I think it’s accurate, and amusing. But makes me feel slightly sick, possibly just from hearing the word “pussy” said so many times. I don’t think that word is, like, offensive or anything. But it makes me slightly squeamish, as does the accurate admonishment to a type of comedy that probably includes some comedy routines and/or performers I quite like.

- Then he goes into pretty much the exact thing I’ve talked about on this blog a few times lately; I didn’t remember this detail of that show until now, so while I’ve been writing screeds about it I forgot that John Robins had already addressed the issue himself.

Okay. So can I now stop feeling guilty about having said I like John Robins' comedy best when he's miserable, now that I remember he himself has acknowledged that is how it works? I've made some posts lately about how John Robins' comedy is centred on cynicism and self-loathing and bitterness, on how frustrating it is to be overly intense and anxious and hypercompetitive and angry and annoying about it, and as a person who is also all those things, I enjoy listening to this perspective in a comedy show. Which led me to say I'm very glad he got sober but, you know, I hope he doesn't fix everything in his life all at once. It wasn't just the alcohol making him act like that, right? He's still going to be bitter and annoying, right?

Well, I don't need to feel bad for saying it anymore, because he also said in. In 2014, while explaining that those days are over, because he has found the love of his life Sara Pascoe, ended a twenty-year search for happiness, and will never need to seek happiness again because he's found it forever. So that's all fine then. It's all fine, in this alternate universe where Hannah Gadsby won the Edinburgh Award on their own in 2017.

- He segways from this into his Stewart Lee bit, and I think I need to cut that clip out as well. I do think that Chortle review focused a bit of a disproportionate amount on the Stewart Lee bit, which was a quite small part of the show (though I’m also now about to disproportionately focus on it, I guess inter-comedian gossip is hard to resist), and makes me think a pro-Stewart Lee bias may have slightly unfairly impacted the reviewer’s judgement of John Robins. Though I, of course, say that as someone with my own biases (bias that include liking Stewart Lee, obviously, everyone likes Stewart Lee, he's a brilliant comedian, but I also think there are plenty of legitimate criticisms to make about him).

Look. It’s probably not the strongest part of the show, I think I can imagine a couple of ways he could have made that a bit funnier, and maybe it’s not a bulletproof criticism. But I do really enjoy the audacity.

I wrote a post about this last year when I first listened to this show, saying it reminds me of this guy who used to dominate in the wrestling national championships for a few years running. He had this really specific style that no one had a real answer for, like with every different thing you tried, you’d play into his hands because his style would let him use it against you. People across the country were trying to figure out how to get around it, and one day, I was doing video review with a friend because one of my athletes had to go up against him, and I said, “Has anyone ever tried doing it back to him. Like. I don’t know if it would work. Maybe it wouldn’t. But has anyone even tried? Everyone just thinks of him as so untouchable that he has a monopoly on this strategy, but there’s nothing actually stopping other people from using it, is there?

I just love the idea of John Robins trying to write his Edinburgh show, struggling as all comedians are with being in the shadow of the giants, trying to make sure that whatever he writes is something that comedy arbitrator Stewart Lee hasn’t declared asinine, something Stewart Lee can’t make fun of, and then just thinking: “Wait. Why not do it back to him?” Because no one’s tried. Well, Kitson, a few times, but Stewart Lee’s reaction to that was probably to say “You’re right, Daniel, you are better than me,” so that’s not quite the same thing. No one’s really tried doing it back to him. And, sure, John Robins may not have landed the perfect shot. But he tried. I respect the effort. Anyone can stand in front of an arts festival comedy audience and talk shit about Michael McIntyre. It takes some audacity to try it with Stewart Lee.

And then he goes into this bit, which is one of those moments in comedy that make me say - Oh, thanks for pointing out that thing that I think all the time and never hear other people articulate. Which is supposed to be a big thing in comedy, right? Lots of comedians claim to be saying those things, I think all comedians try to be saying those things. But there's so much comedy that most things have been said already.

Well, this one thing isn't exactly the deep and vital secret of the universe, but it is an accurate observation that I haven't heard made all that often:

Weirdly, for the second time in a row and about wildly different topics, I tried to think of who else I've heard say this thing from this John Robin show, and I come up with Kitson and not many others. Daniel Kitson dedicated a significant portion of his career to making this point in beautiful and poignant ways. I'm not saying John Robins has reached those heights, but I quite like his straight-to-the-point approach to it. It's also interesting to hear it from the perspective of someone who, at the time, was happily in a relationship.

I mean, I guess I can't say this is a completely novel observation, as comedy is full of "marriage is a ball and chain" jokes. But it's nice to hear that point made with slightly more nuance than "my bitch wife won't let me go to the pub with my friends".

I think that sort of thing is why this show is my favourite pre-Darkness of Robins stand-up show that John Robins has done, even though I don't normally tend to be a big fan of "I've recently found love, let me tell you about it" shows. The Darkness of Robins is my favourite John Robins show, which makes more sense, because it's a breakup show, and I tend to like breakup shows. For reasons that John Robins outlines in a clip I uploaded further up in this post, I guess. Misery makes better comedy than happiness.

But also, I tend to specifically like breakup shows because I do often think a lot of relationships are probably a bad idea. My friends know not to go to me for romantic advice, because I will always say vaguely neutral things that boil down to "Well I'm sure there's a way past this problem and stay together", to compensate for the fact that of course I think they should break up. Because I just about always think everyone should break up with their partner, I think almost everyone in a relationship is pretending to be happier than they are about it, but I understand that we're supposed to respect their relationship, so I guess people have signed up for this because they want to be miserable with each other, and I won't advise them against that since it's their prerogative (not all of them, there is one person who might be reading this who has what seems like a truly excellent relationship, and yours is one of the few where it seems like a very good thing and a net positive in life, I promise I am not hearing you tell me about your wife while secretly thinking you should probably break up, I think that about almost everyone else I know but genuinely not about you, sorry for this).

Anyway. The point is, most "I found love" shows don't feel all that sincere to me, while a breakup show, like a breakup in real life, is where you can stop pretending not to see all the massive problems in a relationship, and tell us what really happened. Which makes the breakup comedy show, by and large, more entertaining than their opposite. However, This Tornado Loves You is John Robins' "I found love" show (three years before his breakup show, which was better than this one and won the big award to prove it), and it's so good because it's honest. Because it has passages like the one I just posted, which doesn't have "honesty" along the lines of the old school "ball and chain, I hate my wife" comedy, it has honesty like "I love my girlfriend and she's wonderful but my friendships have inevitably taken a hit". That seems honest.

...Okay, so I am still adjusting to work after a week off, it's getting late and I worked long hours today and have to get up early tomorrow to do the same, and I think I'm going to stop this post. Because I thought it would be fun to re-listen to the hour-long John Robins show and liveblog it, but it's now taken me about 90 minutes to write about the show's first twenty minutes, because I keep stopping to cut out clips and write stuff. And I do not have that kind of time in the short window between when I get home from work and when I'd need to go to sleep to not be exhausted all day tomorrow. So I'm going to cut it off here so I'm not up all night writing.

It's a good show. But it off Bandcamp and listen to it. Its an "I found love and I'm happy now" show by one of the top five most cynical comedians I've ever heard. I actually think Speakeasy is probably John Robins' objectively best show on Bandcamp (and all three of his Bandcamp shows are good), but this one is my personal favourite due to subjective tastes. I think the Chortle reviewer under-valued it, as did that man who used it as an umbrella.

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eyenaku · 1 year

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YOU SAID SEND ASKS EVEN IF THEY'RE DUMB SO I'M GONNA SEND ONE.

WHAT DID YOU THINK OF THE DAYCARE ATTENDANT WHEN SAW THEM FOR THE FIRST TIME (IN GAME AND IN FANDOM) AND WHEN DID YOU REALIZE YOU REALLY, REALLY LIKED THEM?

okokokok so basically i was avoiding fnaf like the plague bc i am terrified of animatronics and horrible with jumpscares in particular! but my best friend is a long time big time fnaf fan and so since like 2017 i was consuming fnaf content passively through them, and even since the game came out i was seeing stuff about it i just never got into it bc it wasn't super appealing

i was really invested in afton family lore n such so i got into fnaf because of that but was avoiding most animatronic content bc weee big fear (a few exceptions of animatronics though i.e. ballora) I could not figure out why i was so scared of them but I FIGURED IT OUT!! more on that later-

so fnaf sb came out n ofc I was watching playthroughs on call w/ my friend (before i played it, i played it soon after) and when sun showed up i was very much,,,, not scared of em?? i could not figure out why?? but i didn't really *focus* on them cuz i wasn't super into fnaf outside of afton family stuff

my friend kept sending me sun and moon fanart bc I did not have an upset reaction to them which was abnormal up until that point, and so i started to actively think they were neat! not super into them to the extent i came to be though- but i did figure out that the reason i have no issue with them and do have an issue with outer animatronics is because of their eyes! even moon who has "pupils" doesnt have the horrible doll-like "realistic" eyes most of the animatronics have- which is what was so unnerving about them to me. absolutely hate dolls and stuffed animals with eyes i have no idea why but one day they were just BAD and as a kidd i threw all the ones i had away and never looked back for the most part,,, but anyways sun and moon's designs were very appealing to me as i've always loved clown/jester type designs, celestial designs, pantomime-esque designs, marionette/bjd type designs (every time i draw them they have ball joints even now), etc. i also love love play structures and i've also always lowkey wanted to work in early education or in a daycare so the very environment was appealing! the designs really hit all of my interests AND were free of what was terrifying about the other animatronics

ANYWAYS i think the turning point (like it was for a lot of people in this fandom) was bamsara's work/solar lunacy! up until that point i had specifically avoided and never touched self insert fics + art, but it's so well written it changed my initial views about the whole category entirely ! because of that i was able to appreciate/consume more of the dca fandom content, which has so many talented creators! aside from that i remember being really really invested in 8um8ble8ee's dca work!

the designs being so appealing to my interests is likely one of the main reasons though aya!! jesters! bells! glow in the dark! stars! sun and moon motif! they remind me of those porcelain pierrots- one of my interests is the history of pantomime/commedia dell arte! i really don't think there's one thing about them or one moment i can remember that i was like YOOOOOOOOO!!!! it kinda just took over my brain hdsjkhsad

anyways i do remember distinctly sometime last year going wait- wtf?? because i'd thought this was a small time interest! something small i'd only taken casual interest in for a month or so, like so many other things, but then realizing i'd been making ART (not just consuming media) of them since at least december of 2021??? which is kinda insane to me!! (/pos ofc) before that time i was going through a really messy and just bad point in my life, and one of the ways I was tracking time was by the way my hair looked- i'd gotten obsessed with mykull afton after all the bad stuff and impulse cut my hair into a mullet and re-dyed it my natural colour after having bleached it brown, but this "first" drawing of sun was BEFORE my hair changed?? which i had not realized at all?? somehow in my head it was bad thing->mykull->dca but it looks like i was consuming and creating dca content through it all

anyways hsjhsjakjas i forgot what i was saying but i think i just really really liked them since i first saw em- i just didn't realize how much they had infiltrated my life until later somehow?? so ~may 2022 was when but really it was more like ~dec 2021? they make me so so happy i have no idea what it is to be honest

so ye in-game wise it was sorta on sight, fandom wise it was bc of solar lunacy + 8um8ble8ee !!

i still think its really funny that i like em so much, considering some of my biggest fears are Animatronics, Jumpscares, and The Dark BAHAHAHA

#aya sorry for rambling idk where i was going ngl #TY FOR ASK BTW I LOVE TO TALK #‼️mutual #ask

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angelofthepage · 1 year

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"But there is one rule we all know and respect down here. Beware the ink demon." (And the spoilers associated with him.)

Hey folks, let's talk about spoilers and social media. The Bendy fandom is no stranger to reminding people regularly to tag their spoilers, there's an image that used to go around every time a new chapter was close to release asking for us to be considerate of those who couldn't play on launch. And likewise, there are a lot of people who just did not care and would not tag their stuff during the first game's release. Tumblr tends to be alright, but Twitter has some serious issues with it, and even with the mute and block tools, it's hard to avoid spoilers without logging out for the next month. I say this as a warning to all the new people joining us for this experience, since you might not be aware of what a storm you're in for.

So as you might expect, I'm here to say that tagging your spoilers would be a very good idea, and if you could do that while posting about Bendy and the Dark Revival, I would very much appreciate it please. For me this means tagging my own posts as #batdr, #bendy and the dark revival, #batdr spoilers, and #bendy and the dark revival spoilers if I share any of my thoughts publicly, and then blocking those tags so I don't see them from anyone else, just to fill in all the gaps in case someone uses one term but not the others. I'm also going to ask that you please not send any BATDR asks to my askbox until I've specified it's okay (I will post and tell you when that is, but my current guess is in early December, subject to change).

Bendy and the Dark Revival is a game we've been waiting for for a few years now, and everyone is so excited to see what's in store for this story. Just as I don't want that magic ruined for me, I don't want to ruin the magic for anyone else. I've had previous pieces of Bendy media spoiled for me on day one, and I'm not about that (looking at you people who spoiled DCTL's ending the day it officially released). I'm one of those people that can't get the game to play on day one, so I can't experience it for myself just yet. My hope is to follow SuperHorrorBro's let's play for the time being, given I enjoy his presentation style (also I just got done with his Hello Puppets Midnight Show playthrough and it was great, highly recommend it). He's good about not being too spoilery in the thumbnails and titles too, which I appreciate (seriously thank you for all your hard work Mike, you rock). Normally I would want to play a new game for myself, but I'd rather not have to log off of everything until after December. I have nutcracker stuff, Christmas projects, and voice acting to handle within that time on my other accounts. So this is the current plan.

To everyone out there excited for BATDR, I hope you all have a great time with this game, however you experience it, and that you get to choose how you experience it. Make use of the tools you have (I recommend implementing them the night before release if you're able to). Blocking, muting terms, tagging, using private chats on discord with threads and forums, readmore's here on Tumblr, extra slides with spoiler warnings on Instagram, you have a bunch of tools at your disposal to make your fandom experience and the experience of those around you a good one. I will be using all of those tools where applicable. If you bypass those tools and spoil the game for me before I'm ready to engage with the fandom, you will be blocked. I'm not someone that blocks on the spot normally, but this is one of those boundaries I'm firm on. If I can't trust you to be respectful of one of my few boundaries, I don't want you on my page.

Be safe and have fun out there, and be careful roaming through the inky halls!

#bendy #batdr #bendy and the dark revival #batdr spoilers #bendy and the dark revival spoilers #bendy spoilers #seriously dont spoil this game for me #i have had too many bad fandom experiences #this will not be one of them #long post

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nopefer-art-tu · 1 year

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OH MY GOD I CANT BELIEVE I ALMOST MISSED POSTING ABT BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN'S ANNIVERSARY???? im gonna get mushy here so if yall wanna skip this go for it i wont hold it against you lol but this movie means a lot to me (if u cant tell) and id just kinda like to share a little bit abt why

I remember when I first saw Brokeback, I'd been either a junior or senior in high school, and I had watched it with my ex. I literally have no clue how we got to watching it or who proposed we watch it in the first place, but I remember that even back then I had been incredibly moved by the story.

Cut to 5-6 years later, and in January of this year I'd been in the midst of a really, super dark depression thanks to some health issues that I've been dealing w for awhile now. It made it so that on top of COVID, I wasn't rly getting out of the house for anything but school, and even then doing that took a really big toll on my anxiety. So basically, from the time that the 2021 winter semester had ended for me in early December, to when school started back up again for the spring in late January, I hadn't left the house at all.

In mid January, like a week before school started back up for me, I was scrolling through Hulu, bored out of my mind and also trying to find something to occupy my time and thoughts w bc I'd been going stir crazy, and I saw that Brokeback had been listed again. I kinda lingered on it because I remember phil (@/senditothemoonn) had watched it like a month or two before and she had started talking abt it in our group chat and posting quotes abt it and stuff, and it had been awhile since I'd seen it so I was like hey! What the hell! Lets give it a watch, its time I watch it again anyways.

And like. Something happened to the world for me after that viewing. It was like it had blown apart, and when it came back together it was completelty rearranged for me.

I'm not entirely sure why that time around the movie has such a deep, DEEP impact on me when I had seen it before, and had been very touched by it back then. I think its partly that a. I never used to watch movies with subtitles, and so before I realized that I probably have issues with the way my mind processes sound, a lot of movie dialogue just kinda. Didn't get internalized by me for some reason? Even now when I rewatch old faves that I haven't seen with subtitles, I'm always astounded by what the hell theyre saying because I had never rly picked up on it before, lol.

And like...I mean if you've seen the movie then you already know this, but their accents and dialect are kinda hard to get through. ESPECIALLY when it comes to Heath as Ennis. Which isn't in any way a jab at him, I think every part of his performance is super thoughtful and well-crafted and every acting choice he makes serves the character in only positive ways. But when you already have issues processing audio, and when you have a character who's jaw is perpetually cleched so tight that the words literally have to "fight" their way out of his mouth, its just like. Not the best combination lol.

And so this time around when I saw the movie, I saw it with subtitles and it opened up a new dimension of the film to me. Honest to God, the first time I watched the movie, I had no idea that the shirts at the end were so signifigant because Jack had stolen Ennis'. I guess the first time I saw it, I didn't catch the part where Ennis talks about having left his damn shirt up there, and Jack just kinda shrugs it off and changes the subject. When I saw that moment this time, it didn't really strike me as anything important until the movie got to the end and you realize that Jack had kept the shirts all those long 20 years and UGH. I literally remember screaming with tears in my eyes, thats what happened to the shirt! There they are! And then when I saw that Ennis had put his shirt over Jack's to hang together on his closet door for the rest of his life? Dead. Dead, I was literally stabbed in the heart 50 million times and killed dead. I'd never made those connections before and now that I had I like. got it, yanno? I got why this was an oscar winner, and why people were sk devastated by its best picture loss. Not that I hadn't before, but it just hit so much harder.

So yeah, the subtitles probably had a lot to do w why its stayed lingering in my mind for a long while, but I also think its because in a few ways it kind of spoke to me and made me think about my health issues and the self-imposed quarantine that I'd put myself through for the better part of a year at that point.

To me, the whole story is about regret, about not taking the chances we have while we have them and having to learn to live with knowledge of the things we didn't let ourselves do and the memories we didn't let ourselves make.

I hadn't seen a lot of my family for awhile at that point because I just didn't want to be out of my house, and its only been recently that I realized how much life I've missed out on living for a good year and a half-ish or so. And like yeah, I have a reason, my health issues and super aggressive anxiety have kinda put me through the ringer. But I dunno like. I kind of empathized and related to Ennis' character in a really odd way, because he also let his fear control what he did and especially what he did not do, and for that, he ended up living a half-life and missed his chance of getting to spend his time with the person he loved the most.

For me, the fear of regret is one of my biggest motivators in doing literally anything. I've realized I don't want to end up like Ennis, isolating myself from my loved ones and missing out on the chance for love and life because of some issues I have. And I mean its not like they're not real issues. Just like the fears that motivated Ennis' actions, theyre very real concerns. But since seeing the movie, I've been a lot more proactive about seeing doctors and trying to get this shit fixed up, because I don't want to end up wasting my life away. I wanna find my Jack, and I wanna be happy, and I wanna live.

Anyways. Happy 17th birthday to my favorite movie in the world <3

#brokeback mountain #still brokeback posting

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northoftheroad · 1 year

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I posted 386 times in 2022

148 posts created (38%)

238 posts reblogged (62%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@hood-ex

@iconuk01

@northoftheroad

@fantastic-nonsense

@batphobique

I tagged 368 of my posts in 2022

Only 5% of my posts had no tags

#dick grayson - 237 posts

#nightwing - 211 posts

#robin - 200 posts

#batman - 179 posts

#bruce wayne - 82 posts

#damian wayne - 34 posts

#dc comics - 33 posts

#jason todd - 26 posts

#tim drake - 18 posts

#31dod - 18 posts

Longest Tag: 132 characters

#because bruce wayne has put a lot of money and effort in making gotham a better place but storytelling logic means it can never work

My Top Posts in 2022:

Hello~ if you could pick three personality traits that define Dick the most, which would you choose (and why)? Thanks!

I guess I would say...

Kind. He does what he does because he wants to help people, and I'd say it's also a part of what makes him a good leader and team player. (Star Spangled Comics # 100)

See the full post

390 notes - Posted March 24, 2022

Rick Leonardi on Twitter.

527 notes - Posted November 23, 2022

Ten-ish panels to sum up Dick Grayson

@roma107 challenged me some time back: “10 Nightwing Panels That Perfectly Sum Up His Character. Your turn. Go.” It’s been hard to even get close, and in the end I couldn't quite keep it to ten panels... But, enjoy disagreeing with me all the same. 😉

1. Robin vol 2 # 13 (1995)

Dick has issues with Bruce – they have had occasional problems with communication since the early 1940s – but he is loyal to a fault.

See the full post

591 notes - Posted December 11, 2022

618 notes - Posted October 30, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Ophelia by John Everett Millais (1851)

Detective Comics # 1067 (2022) Edit: the artist is Colleen Doran.

1,965 notes - Posted September 16, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

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ilikeyoshi · 2 years

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fundraising is what helped me get my own surgery paid for (it was half covered but that was still 2-4k) so i really try to donate to every top surgery fundraiser i see ;_; i can personally attest that even $5 or $1 means the world to me and almost definitely every trans person in existence.

that shit—the shit where your chest makes you so dysphoric you can't MOVE without triggering it—is so, so so so mentally draining. i had to go to work every day knowing my chest was too big to fully bind, it would always bulge and bounce. it's like torture, not because there's anything inherently WRONG with big breasts, but when you know how that affects the way people perceive you, how you perceive yourself, it's just devastating.

and that's BEFORE any other medical issues! back pain from disproportionate breast weight, multi-general breast cancer risks. those are two things i had to deal with every day too. my top surgery cured that back pain, and since i have way less breast tissue, my risks for breast cancer (which my mom and maternal grandmother have both had) is reduced.

it truly saves so much peace of mind. i'm so, so grateful people helped me; especially because if i had stuck to my original plan of WORKING and saving however much of my paycheck i could, do you know what would happen? i'd still have those dysphoric, back breaking tits. my estimate from how much of my biweekly $15/hour paycheck i could dedicate to surgery savings meant it wouldnt be until i was THIRTY (i was 25) that i could seek help.

and the scariest part? i had to QUIT THAT JOB in 2021 because i was mysteriously sick with fatigue and pain that i only finally figured out THIS MONTH is probably an autoimmune disease. which means, if i hadn't been blessed by kind people who donated to my top surgery fund, my only source of money towards that surgery would have been ripped out of my hands in early 2021. delaying my getting that surgery indefinitely, because i haven't been able to work since last december.

truly. i hope everyone who helped me knows how much you genuinely, sincerely, thoroughly saved my fucking life. i was already devastated by the thought of having to wait til i was 30, but if i'd lost my job while i was still saving? if i found myself too sick to get out of bed half the days of a week? i can't promise what my mental state would've been. not good though. very, very not good.

anyway, if you've ever needed convincing to start a fundraiser for your gender transition, here's a bunch of the reasons it was the best decision i ever made. people will help you, if they can afford to, and sometimes they'll shorten your timeline just enough to save you from unforeseen future complications that would've fucked your timeline.

#thank you again. i'm grateful every day i get dressed to go out and think #''i'm so happy. i'm so comfortable''#thank you thank you thank you #yoshi talks

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veryflirtytransportalate · 20 days

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"You know, for someone who just woke up from a 200-year nap, you're pretty easy on the eyes." - Sizzel, on the topic of... Sizzel

< Previous > . . . < Next >

Taking another off day, since I'm busy as hell, so here's some additional shots from my bunny shoot.

My attempt to steal power from the Mayor of Diamond City isn't going well. No one responded to my attempts to generate an impromptu emergency election that would allow me to oust the mayor through semi-legitimate means, so I followed up with an op-ed calling gently for rebellion. I published both of these things in the paper, and came to an awful realization.

Mayor McDonough is the only one who reads Piper's paper.

I walked around and the only article anyone talks about is the one the Mayor got up on stage and explained. I don't even think anyone read it, I think they just know what it's about from hearsay. Can they read? I mean funk, seriously no one gives a damn that I'm calling for insurrection against Diamond City authority?! I'm pretty open about how they'd be getting on the ground floor of an incredible business opportunity! No wonder everyone ignores Piper, all she talks about is reading and writing to a community of... of... what... what do any of these citizens do? Anyone but the merchants got a hobby?

New theory: literally everyone in Diamond City is a synth.

(Thoughts on the new Fallout show below the cut. I haven't seen it and also hate the plot of modern Fallouts so, uh... let's just call it high in sodium, you get me?)

< Previous > . . . < Next >

youtube

Hello! I am actually very busy.

Happy show day. I guess they moved it from a day early to two days early? I thought it was coming out in December?

I'm... trying to get excited about the show. I want to be excited about the show.

I'm...

I'm not excited about the show.

I want to care... the show is going to be well made. Amazon money? Westworld guy? Sure. Whatever. I can picture it. Great lighting. The post-processing, well blended. Sound will do that thing where it gets loud and then suddenly cuts off. Dramatic. Vault-Tec. Ghouls. Vertibirds. Power armor. Hair. Make up. Last looks. Camera. Rolling. Action. Cut.

My favorite part of what Fallout used to be was that it was a strange blend of isometric RPG with the Star-Trek approach to episodic speculative fiction, approaching real world problems through the lens of a very non-real world, and trying out approaches to complex issues of governance through that frame in a collaborative form of fiction where your actions defined your character and the world around them.

It was not to see a beautiful actor in heavy make-up with perfect hair pretend to be in a gun fight. If I wanted to see a beautiful actor in heavy make-up with perfect hair pretend to be in a gun fight, I'd just watch John Wick. Or a Star War. Or a Marvel.

I hate marketability. I hate the way in which everything has to appeal to a consumer base that has had their options for entertainment sliced away until only the Disney remains. Amazon is just nerd Disney, these days, too. I hate money. Can't wait to see Fallout cross-promoted Capital One Credit Card commercials.

But more than anything else... the writing in Fallout 4 was so bad, so without understanding of using dialogue to represent character to facilitate plot, that the entire world lost a layer of joy. We're never going to have an intelligent Deathclaw ever again: I believe, based on the general writing quality that was permitted in Fallout 4, that if they made a sentient Deathclaw it would be some big twist that it's leading a raider gang, being answered to by between one and five henchmen. Never will we have communities that look like raiders but are actually engaging with the world around them with long term objectives and goals - the way the word "raider" is used is fucked, it applies a moral justification to seeing someone and blamoing them because they had the wrong name tag on. If you met some people that you had a moral justification to un-do, it was because they began a fight with you. Misdoings were just as dire, and writing hinted at additional atrocities than we saw in the explorable maps, but you discover these things by interacting with the sprites, both in a conversation mini-game and in the primary simulational RPG layer. Sorry, but hey, get a cool raider-y FO76 skin, it's only $15. A part of me doesn't wanna see a show celebrating that.

On the other hand... it's gonna be Amazon money well constructed, and, what else am I doing with my time, I guess?

< Previous > . . . < Next >

#fallout #fallout 4 #fallout mods #fallout original character #fo4 #reshade #screen archery #bunny #bunny ears #youtube #virtual photography #virtual photoshoot #Youtube #fallout show #fallout tv series

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feuqueerfire · 3 months

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Pit Babe Live Blogging

This show is finally ending, I've been stopping myself from starting it since like December I think when I saw Tiktoks from those early episodes (honestly younger, cute boytoy top Charlie who is so beautiful to me had a hand in that lol). The chatter also seems to really like the show, maybe unexpectedly for quite a few people (also I think at least a certain amount of it is for the side ship? Alan and Jeff or something? who I know nothing about because I only really know some plot points until like ep 4 or smth because I'd look up Tiktoks)

So I really hope I like it! I've only been like "meh, sure" for the 3 shows/movies I've watched so far this month, so I'd love it if this one lives up to my expectations.

Ep 1 (Feb 7)

girl what's going on? okay we're starting with fucking but he's gotta blow off steam bc his senses are too sensitive? Or what's going on?

alpha smell, i died

ohhh dubcon sexual coercion racer/fan hookup as payment <3333

charlie doesn’t have a smell (smth about an enigma in the tiktok comments?) and babe can’t stand alpha scent

fuck off iqiyi ad, right in the middle of the scene

i wonder if Charlie does have ulterior motives other than the car bc tiktok comments hinted at it but i stopped looking at them after a couple eps so didn’t find out

ohhh the objectification and using Charlie as a bet is a doozy

Charlie talking about not exploiting Babe is the funniest shit ever

random villain

I need to sleep almost 2am agh - 28m

back the next morning hehe

Why is this guy who seems to be around the same age as everybody else being called Uncle and referring to himself as old man lmfao is it like how Gumpa was maybe supposed to be older than he was in Not Me?

oh, i like these scenes actually, I usually have a 50-50 on whether I'll skip through these makeout/NC scenes but I'm watching these lmao

Babe being so irritable/standoffish after an orgasm is so funny like why lol

kalsdfjlk;asfjlk;asdfj talking about roleplaying as a maid/wearing maid costume/Charlie calling Babe master omg

Babe doesn't know how to appreciate maid Charlie, give him to me instead

the holes in the walls of Babe's house are so funny like what

Also how old are these people? I think I remember a Tiktok of Charlie going to uni (and Babe following him because he's suspicious lol) and I'm guessing Babe is a couple years older than that?

[Linguistics] Pom and Phi for Charlie while Gu and Mueng for Babe

Babe calling Charlie docile awooga

So was the villain whose face we kinda saw earlier the UAC Corp leader? Tony Chen?

"report about Babe"

okay I'm reading the on-air thread for this on r/boyslove and some people are like hmmm about their chemistry so far and are like why is the NC stuff so tame/vague but personally... I can watch the NC scenes when it's like this, so it's going well in my books lol rip, though I kinda assume it might get more heated in the later eps? Also hm idk about Charlie and Babe's chemistry, it seems fine but not magnetic/magical yet.

Also people in that thread seem to have little to no experience with omegaverse or have mostly read alpha/omega and also seem confused about what's allowed vs not allowed when in fact, there's no rigid rules with omegaverse because it's a literal fanfic concept and you can make it whatever you want. Personally, I haven't read any original book/manhua/etc. with omegaverse but am so well-versed in fanfic a/b/o lol a/a o/o a/o are all great, sometimes with a beta though beta/x do tend to be quite rare, even more than a/a and o/o I feel like?? Also have read OT3 a/b/o or a/a/o or a/o/o etc. Love all the different types of fics omegaverse has to offer: the 4k explicit fics and 20k romances and 60k of criticizing society/trying to break out of the rigid molds/mirroring real world issues/etc. Traditional, medium trad-nontrad, and nontraditional omegaverse can all also be interesting and good.

I'm expecting this one to just be like the 20k kinda non-traditional romances w/ a/a.

Ep 2 (Feb 7)

Oh Tony Chen investor is Babe's literal father?

The fiery flashback transitions lmao

Babe's adoptive father

What's Charlie planning?

the menopause comment is so interesting cuz wtf do you even mean but I'm pretty sure I'm also heard it in reference to men in other BLs maybe Thai ones? So it's probably a different word that refers to a similar thing but not exactly menopause

working for free, not suspicious at all lol

This new repairman kid tuning the car to have more horsepower or whatever is reminding me of a high school class where we were doing AutoCAD and stuff but then also had to ?? create a digital car but neither my partner nor I knew shit about cars so we were fr just trying out whatever and seeing the specs go up and down

[Linguistics] Alan addressing Jeff as Nuu lol

lol the germophobe so I don't touch anybody thing

I did think Jeff and Charlie were working together so this makes sense but I thought the guy who was scheming with Charlie was the same age as him but he calls Charlie Phi and is 20 years old (so Charlie's older than that)

Wait Alan just said Jeff and Charlie are the same age? But Jeff called Charlie Phi, so did Jeff age himself up by a year or two?

Did nobody notice how weird Jeff and Charlie were behaving toward each other?

Why'd they zoom in on Way like that when mentioning the UAC Corp

dang, what plan Jeff and Charlie got cooking up

What is this random physical fight that's Charlie's doing lol

Didn't like the camera work during that fight scene, keep it still

And also this one Red Racing member's an annoying character as he's meant to be but the acting itself annoys me

ahh, Charlie choosing the car he knows is Babe's favourite and Way being like Babe doesn't let anybody get in it but Babe letting Charlie borrow it

"I'm Pit Babe, I don't decide on the wrong people" is crazy omg I hate such expectations

Ouchhhh terrible driving lesson flashbacks when my instructor would yell at my stupidity from the passenger seat like this lmfao

Ouch lol Way being like haha what if I fell in love w you and Babe being like lmfaoooo if we were gonna have sparks, it would've happened long ago

Is Way not an Alpha? why did Babe say I'm good with just chewing alphas? Or did he mean he'd rather do that than fall in love with them?

Alan and Jeff barely exist so far beyond Jeff ignoring Alan and everybody laughing about it but I'm into it. The age difference + Nuu thing is also uh good

The Glances that Alan and Babe share whenever Way's talking and kinda sidelining Charlie makes me think that Babe must know that Way likes him, right?

Red Racing aka the team Tony Cheng (Babe's foster father) is investing in wants to poach Babe?

Saw through some reblog's novel spoiler tags that Jeff's an omega

Ep 3 (Feb 8)

Pouty, whiny, dramatic Charlie and Babe's smile peaking through at the act so cutee

Aw, our tough guy sad backstory

damn, tf he fostered a bunch of kids and did what with them

unexpected telekenesis - if I hadn't been spoiled through a post like 2 hours ago about how it just randomly appears in ep 3, I would've been shocked lmfao

and Babe breaks his no kissing rule

Jeff’s reaction after the sniff kiss from Alan akhdjaja threw him off fr

Alan’s hiding that Pete will take % of price money? or is that just understood?

tbh i dint rlly get the investment and returns cuz the show doesn’t explain it like why couldn’t they do smaller races before but now they can? cause of cost to join the race and fuel and whatever else needed for it without the guaranteed winning money to subsidize it? would it be so expensive to do that they couldn’t go to smaller races at all without investments? how were they doing it before this though like why does it matter if red racing is getting this investment, how does that mean x hunter can’t do the same stuff they’ve done so far?

Ah, I've seen tiktoks of the suspicion and Babe following Charlie

Can Babe tell that it's Jeff

damn girl, how are these thoughts even come into your mind as you drive such at high speed with high concentration

Winner is such annoying character I really cant

Ah, so the driving accident wasn't in this ep but ep 4 I guess

Lol caught a glimpse of the next ep preview and I remember seeing people discuss whether the Way and Babe talking about being boyfriends in the preview is in the past vs present (It looks like the past to me)

This show must actually be insane to watch on air, first the surprise omegaverse and now surprise telekenesis

I understand Way's suspicion of Charlie and he's right to be lol but the way he talks about how nobody cares about him and Babe and Babe shouldn't get too close to people is... I wonder if he really has power to hypnotize through touch bc I did see murmurs about that on the tiktok comments. And I didn't think about this, but Way should've waited a couple days to mention to Babe the results of stalking Charlie since it'll affect Babe's performance

Ep 4 (Feb 9)

Annoyed that I was too busy today to actually watch more than an episode yesterday and I think it'll be the same case today, maybe I'll try to squeeze in 1.5 eps.

Is Babe specifically not mentioning seeing him and Jeff together because he wants Charlie to come clean himself?

Damn, Way really is clutching Babe's arm as he tells him to be alone and not trust in love

Babe so mean for pulling that "shall I be your bf?" thing on Way aksdfj

also young Babe is sooo pretty omg

mopey sad Babe :(

How did Charlie get there?

Oh, Jeff watching but unable to outwardly show concern for Charlie in front of everybody

would Tony do this fr though? I thought it was fuckass Winner

Damn, Winner tryna bribe someone to cut the fluid line or smth in Babe's car idk what that means but sounds bad. stopped by Kim but Winner does say he didn't send those people to beat Babe up, so did Tony really do it? Did Charlie...?

Charlie's endless cooking for Babe ahh

Jeff and Alan hehe

Oh yeah lol Babe's upset at Jeff cuz he thinks Charlie went behind his back w Jeff

woah Jeff can see the future via touch?!?! No wonder he was averse to touching so cool

So does this mean that Charlie and Jeff were also in that house raised by Tony along with Babe? The kids were all separated from each other, so it'd make sense if Babe didn't know them. Interesting

The Tony and Co. have been looking for somebody with Beyond Group Pete's power for a long time? Archery? Hand-eye coordination?

Finally, the car crash. Not much happened this ep tbh since it's continuation of last ep's tensions but hopefully we'll move forward at a faster pace now, either in terms of relationship or plot. I also stopped checking the tiktoks at this point, so I don't know as much now and haven't really seen stuff after this except stuff I've already mentioned like Enigma Charlie? Omega Jeff?

omegaverse + racecar + xmen powers & evil father foistering said powers

Agh, fuck, people are writing novel spoilers obviously and accidentally saw it I think say "Charlie and [Babe I'm guessing] have the same evil foster dad" well the on-air thread people who guessed this like 2 eps ago were correct, gj

Ep 5 (Feb 9)

hmm is it indeed somebody on X Hunter who betrayed Babe? I refuse Charlie and Jeff, would Way do it? Would Tony?

Did Jeff go to that car at night in secret because he wanted to try to prevent the fire since he saw it in that vision?

I mean Alan’s not completely wrong, though Way and Dean came off real strong

exploiting Jeff’s sadness for an ad smh

the person avoided the cameras seeing his face as if he knows where they are…

Pete being like “I thought you guys had a mole and didn’t know”

oh i went to ep 4 on air discussion and ppl were discussing whether charlie can suppress powers/steal powers apparently shown in teaser for this ep and immediately as soon i start this again we get Babe being like why can’t i sense you

choosing Charlie (guy who barely just started training and has never done an actual race before) to take Babe’s place is crazy esp amongst others who may not be good but have actual experience before being thrown into the deep end

well at least they’re gonna test Charlie

wdym? Isn’t Babe too hurt to do a fucking competition?

getting v strong insider job vibes but idk if they’ll make it be Way (suspicious), Dean (suspicious just cuz he’s eager to side w Way), or the youtuber dudes (they seem useless and it’d be boring if it was them)

Ep 6 (Feb 10)

Well, at least they still made Babe win by a fair amount while rookie Charlie who has never competed won by a hair compared to junior Dean who doesn't really win

The directing was bad in this though i literally couldn't tell who was ahead because the cars look the fucking same

Charlie looks sooo good with the kinda mushroom hair here idk omg

What even is this argument? Dean is not acting well here and somehow neither is Alan even though Alan's been fine thus far, though he hadn't had to express too many outward emotions until now

Oof, Way watching Babe walk away from him down to Charlie and going with him

so does this cafe thing happen often or no? and in which countries? First Twinkling Watermelon also had some "story" about their table that the guy had submitted for Se Kyeong and now here Alan did a apology thing for Jeff

Ahh it's so cringe but I'm kinda into it, idk esp the way Jeff keeps trying to not smile

babe and charlie looking at stars scene so romantic

omg children

sorry this mama papa thing is killing me so bad

it’s also killing babe lol he keeps laughing during the roleplay

actually okay idk role playing as each other during the first meeting is kinda fun fr and them giggling through it hehe so cute

Pete watching Way drink at the bar?

Dean so annoying

What did Pete see in Babe's future?!

Ah, publicly saying they're bfs but rip Way

Babe doing that smoke thing was crazy cuz if I was Way, I'd be like damn is he boutta step out of his relationship with me rn

ouch ouch ouch ouch

Unrequited crush on a friend is so saddd even though Way's being annoying about it

broooo that spot when Babe and Way are sitting on the car, looking at the sky - is that the same spot Babe took Charlie?

man, ouch!

I seriously wish the subs were better man

but Babe and Charlie were so cute this ep hehe >.< and Babe was just sooo smiley

I want Charlie to get some more personality soon though because we don't know shit about him and I also can't tell what's genuine vs not with him since he's so secretive

Ep 7 (Feb 10)

Ah, so Babe indeed feels suffocated by how Way tells him to be alone and feels like he can't love anybody

I don't get it, I thought Jeff touching Babe would mean he sees Babe's future, so how can that guy lying in the car not be Babe?

Oof, Way and Pete

Also, I try to track when someone's putting on shoes for a romantic partner/candidate but taking off shoes is also so good and intimate, like now Pete taking Way's shoes off

Are Kim and Kenta supposed to ba thing? Can't remember but hope Kenta stops being Tony's laptop someday

As expected, it was Tony's doing

omggg so many things happening at once, exciting

Kim doing a little investigating to find that Tony sells his kids and Babe's the highest price

and also he called Babe to the place he knew that Charlie would be meeting Tony and Kenta omg

and Tony asking about Jeff

oh yeah lol Babe last ep being like since you're Charlie's nong/brother, you're my nong too :) at Jeff like girl first of all Charlie is also your adopted brother technically so let's not get too familial here lol

Tony seeing Charlie and Babe's interaction... Also, I wonder why Tony doesn't know that Jeff is a mechanic at X-Hunter c'mon

On that note, I also wish Charlie had somehow blurted out that Babe shouldn't tell anybody about Jeff being Tony's son also or tell anybody about Jeff's location

Aw, crying and regretful Babe and heartbroken too

Charlie just SAY it while following Babe around instead of being like P'Babe x10 and asking him to listen/being like let me explain. LIKE JUST EXPLAIN BRUH

Charlie doesn't have a power for real or it's just a power like stealing/suppressing powers that Tony's teachers couldn't sense? especially because Charlie specifically mentioned that Babe was just buying time by running away since they were still after his powers - so maybe Charlie thinks the solution is to suppress those powers and that's why Babe doesn't have them anymore

sorry what are we even talking about right now, they're suggesting that Tony intends to get an Enigma (different even more powerful sort of alpha - 1%) to impregnate Babe????? Because that child will be even more powerful? Like what are we doing right now klajsdflkasdjfk

But anyway, this means no hope of Omega Jeff? Since apparently only Alphas have powers.

Kenta doing these "mistakes" with being sloppy enough so that Kim can find evidence + letting Charlie live with Babe... is he on their side?

Oh, Charlie did indeed make Babe's sense disappear by absorbing/stealing it (and being able to do it so well because he's closer to Babe)

ow ow ow ow owowoowowowowowowoow owwwww Babe thinking back to the first night and how Charlie touched him

oh my goddd all their encounters T.T

tf Charlie can't return Babe's powers unless he dies? no way...

girl why is Charlie even thinking of reconciliation right now, you just told Babe all this stuff you hid from him including the way you stole his powers and can't give it back unless you die

stop, I'm really annoyed by this tone change, this is not the time for mama/papa, I want Babe to blow up on Charlie now to dare to make light of the situation and how much Babe's hurting

ah I can't even appreciate the making up T.T

Also, is the fact that Charlie's not mentioning Jeff gonna be considered a secret later on?

Way waiting for their dinner which he took as a date to the sentimental restaurant vs Babe riding Charlie in the car on the road with the roof down

okay sorry this is a whole lot, too much in fact um

Bro Way gotta escape cuz Babe is fr stringing him along for too long let's end this, make some bad decisions but in terms of drinking too much/fucking random people (Pete) but not hypnotizing Babe or anything. and then, let's move on

broooo why are Alan and Babe just discussing Tony and everything in the garage where there are other people

I thought Babe realized that Way liked him... does he not?

woah soooo much info

Wish there was actually more angst/longer drawn out period before reconciliation because Babe would need time to come to terms with everything. but oh well

The spoilers I found right now while going through gifs is that: Apparently Way is the Enigma that Tony's planning to use to impregnate Babe... I'd seen hints that Way is evil/does something against Babe and if we're going with the fact that he has hypnosis through touch powers, then he'd been with Tony but the fact that he's the enigma was new to me

Ep 8 (Feb 10)

Aw fuck, I keep watching this instead of doing my much-needed work D:

Kenta has to somehow not let Kim get killed and his organs harvested right

Aw, Jeff telling Alan his secret special power

Way talking about revenge and being a bad person and doing what he was originally supposed to do...

ahh Charlie not telling Babe about Jeff's vision is scary, even though Charlie consoling Jeff is nice

omg blood everywhere enough investigating let's leaveee

First time seeing Charlie use his powers and he uses it to be kinda stupid lol

Did Tony pick up on the fact that Babe lost his powers?

Ken? Do Pete and Kenta know each other?

Damn, Jeff's visions, he's getting them without touching anybody?

Also, how are you sneaking around in Tony's house lol cameras gotta be everywhere

ah, I wish I wasn't spoiled about Enigma way cuz I might've been like gasp but actually probably not since I already knew about Way being from the other side

Jeff no don't get caught

the fact that Charlie is still like -khap at the end of his sentences with Babe despite having fucked like 50 times and being boyfriends and also having held secrets from him is funny

they're doing doctor/patient roleplay while jeff's in trouble D:

ah, all the plans in front of Way

This must be a trap as well right, set up by Way? I'm afraid Andy's gonna get killed or smth? Or even if it's not a proper dangerous trap, like a trap t somehow save them to gain trust?

Why did they even get out of that room though lol

Winner's soooo annoying, like not even an intriguing semi-antagonist like Way, just irritating and bad at acting

North, Sonic don't both go into the cell cuz what if it's locked from outside

They left Kim again? man...

Jeff I believe in you

Ep 9 (Feb 10)

Charlie can't you at least once wonder where Jeff is? WHAT ABOUT YOUR BROTHER? Literally everybody at the garage is staying at Alan's except Jeff?

you know Tony's looking for Jeff and you're just chill about the fact that neither you nor Alan can contact him? Man, cmon Charlie wtf

girl not Babe finding out about Pete being an Enigma at this place where they're auctioning kids D: and then Immediately going to tell Way about it bruhhh

aw fuckkk not Way hypnotizing Babe when Babe's at the auction place alone with Way and has just found out about Way beingthe Enigma through Charlie. I hope Pete comes out and sees them

ahhhhh aklsdfjalks;fj ewewew I can't watch this like I watched 0.2 seconds of it in the reflection and no aghhh and Babe's sad face in that reflection T.T

Or I hope Charlie immediately goes to Way's apartment or smth after informing Alan of what happened

okay at least Charlie did come

This is so fucking sad, poor Babe D:

And every Babe and Way montage is so sad, first when Way was going through his heartbreak and now because Babe got sexually assaulted by Way agh

abusive father Tony fr but also what power or whatever does he have? He said Way's Enigma can't compete with me

man, this is so fucking sad, the way Babe's trust in me people is shattered and doesn't wanna be betrayed again

Anyway, Charlie learned than his brother Jeff was captured by Tony and crew but has called him and hasn't heard from or seen him since, he should be a little more concerned about him I think

Well, it's good that apparently Jeff is all good and safe

Alan and Jeff are sooo cute, espp because age gap but Alan and Jeff are both so skittish lol... Jeff asking if he can be Alan's boy is crazy though

what are Charlie and Jeff planning, yikes

Also, Charlie being like okay at least father doesn't know that my powers will go back to Babe if I die... so if he fakes his death, Babe still wouldn't have the powers back but the father wouldn't find it questionable?

Is Dean trustworthy?

Ah, this time Charlie getting overwhelmed with the senses and Babe helping me out with an orgasm... romance <3

why is the sex scene surrounded by the car race lmfaooo I kinda wanted to see it and choose to skip parts if it was too much for me, not have it spliced

Ah, they spoiled that Dean's a traitor/snake in the preview, that's dumb smh

oh omg, okay I remember seeing some stuff about main character death in Pit Babe just a few weeks ago (esp when Last Twilight was ending) but as I started this, I was like hm this doesn't seem to track, maybe that was about The Sign. But now I just glimpsed the words "The cross on Charlie's grave [...]" in a text post and seems like this really is for Pit Babe. Not to mention that Jeff and Charlie's plans seem to involve Charlie's death, though I'm assuming it's a faked death.

Ep 10 (Feb 10)

I'm dreading the scene from last ep's teaser where Charlie is against Babe driving and Babe's like you don't have any faith in me? I'm so disappointed in you

ouchhh "you don't believe in my skills" because of the lack of sense? ah it's true like charlie can't control babe just because he wishes babe well but I'm nervous that Charlie planned something terrible what with their plans and Charlie dying/disappearing

ah yep, Charlie's plan is to flip the car over, so scary but Jeff knows at least.

dang, did Babe not finish his lap and just came off in the middle of his last lap? Makes sense, I didn't expect the car to be right there

Jeff's pretending that he did that to Charlie's car to kill him in order to get Tony to do something on his end? Or does Tony also know Charlie's not dead?

Bro what the fuck what do you even mean that Babe got his senses back

This is actually devastating for real

How has Kenta not turned his back to Tony yet fr

Also, so I guess Jeff was telling Tony that he'd crash Charlie's car + with Kenta's help but Jeff was really planning on it killing Charlie

Babe's "I don't want my senses back, I don't want anything back. I just want charlie back" askldfjaskdlfjsadf owwwwwww

This montage is so fucked up

Oh, can you walk over the grave just like that to give the flowers omg? I'd be like D: there's somebody's corpse right underneath my feet and I'm stepping on them...

fuckkk this grave scene is also so devastating

Jeff really and truly is the only person getting anything done, so he got Kim in exchange for the Charlie thing?

girl, not the Jeff and Alan flirting in the midst of devastation. cute thought :( jeff being so done with Alan's inability to flirt that he has to do it himself here too

aklsdfja;sdlkf ow Jeff so cute, coming back to give him a little kiss on the side of the mouth and then running away

The fuck, Dean hit Babe with a HAMMER?!?!?! to the head

So was it Jeff (or Kenta w/ Jeff) who punctured the oil rigg while Dean did something else (gas smth?). or was it that Dean and Kenta together cut the gas line to crash the car but Jeff punctured the oil rig to kill Charlie?

Oh man, the fucking devastation. How did people who watch weekly go through this fr? I wonder... if I could get away with just looking at Pit Babe archive tags or if I'm gonna be spoiled with ep 11/book spoilers... ig I'll try to be very careful? agh idk

Also, I wonder how they're pulling off this fake death if Babe got his senses back? And we saw the dead body? Though ofc Jeff "took care of everything" on his own afterwards so we didn't see him be buried or anything but yknow

Ep 11 (Feb 11)

Good morning, time to watch the show and hopefully finish it toda

Man, I would've rooted more for Way/Pete if Way wasn't gonna rape Babe when he got the chance... makes me a hypocrite since I'm a Vegas/Pete enjoyed but yknow

Oh my bad, seems like Dean did stuff to the gas lines but Jeff had done stuff to the brakes

Ooh, okay, we get to see Charlie already

ugh so did Kenta tell Dean to do stuff to the break lines? I thought Dean did gas

who is this Uncle Reval and what's his backstory? Anything to do with Babe? He's not his father or something right?

lol a secret drug that fake-kills you and gives Babe his powers back

so what's the plan after this? How we catching Tony guys?

Ah, I love Alan and Jeff :( And Jeff telling Alan to think a lot because he knows he's the one who made Charlie's car crash like that + is hiding Charlie from them all

They sometimes treat Jeff like he's a mourning brother and other times they don't lol

Oh that bracelet with the A is crazy like oh Alan you're marking him laksfj oh and he's got one with J, very presumptuous to wear it first before letting Jeff know but loll I guess he's finally stepping up in the flirting department and not leaving it all to Jeff

I can't believe we're not getting proper Omega Jeff though, so he's just Alpha :(

Why did Jeff say I like no love you and Alan's like I got it already and didn't say it back

Jeff's actor is 28 and Alan's is 30, I wish at least Jeff's one was like 20 (That's Charlie's actor's age) so that we could at least feel the difference in age when they're talking as if there's a big age gap cmon

omg sorry the "Nuu, cooperate" "How?" was so good in terms of experience gap

okay Enough, this is going on forever actually lol

ah, Kenta and Pete were playmates and brothers while growing up in that house, thus the Ken and familiarity before when Ken had his knife to Pete's throat

Does Pete not a special power other than just being an Enigma?

oh ngl I thought they were finally doing a pair of Tony's kids who actually saw each other as siblings and not as lovers lmfao but seems like Kenta liked Pete

God why did they leave this dynamic for the end, Kenta crying (or is it just intense sweat?) while trying to harm/maim/kill Pete and thinking of their times together, it's the perfect dynamic - ToddBlack & VegasPete vibes

Wild turn from last week (Babe's still devasted though, I knew I could trust him) and it's like glad AlanJeff is finally happening but it's really happening a few days after Jeff's brother died lol

Also okay idk how to feel about Alan and Jeff sex scene cuz it's like... Alan is very subtly pressuring Jeff just a little? Like when Jeff was like shouldn't we get to know each other a little? but Alan's like that's for later bc he's so intent on fucking Jeff tonight. + the "Nuu, cooperate" when I guess he thought Jeff didn't want to let him take off his pants. the thing issss I could be so into age gap slightly dubcon, slightly immoral relationships but that's not how it's presented here + Jeff's supposed to be in mourning, so idk how I'm supposed to take this

Ep 12 (Feb 11)

Please please please please please Kenta and Pete scenarios and scenes and moments please please please idec if it's a happy or sad ending

agh no i don't want peteway anymore i want petekenta

oh Pete can read minds, woah

Aw shucks, they're kidnapping Jeff

Is the sense going back to Charlie and disappearing from Babe?

girl every 3 hours? that's all it takes before Charlie's senses start coming back from Babe?

okay I'm sorry but literally why are you bringing Way to meet Babe randomly like that fucker would've raped Babe and gotten him pregnant to forcibly make him have kids like we as the audience could be like oh tortured angsty Way but why is Pete randomly bringing Way to meet Pete. Anyway, Kenta now also knows Way's on Pete's side so it's not necessarily like Way can infiltrate the other side either unless Kenta keeps his lips sealed

ah I wonder who is "working for" Tony now...

Pete, Babe, Kenta, and Way lmao for sure there are not gonna be any betrayals and this team isn't gonna go up in flames. It'd be hilarious if Kenta does manage to finally join the other side but Way or something betrays them

Sorry that I was thinking of kicking Kenta (in a fun sexual way) while he was kneeling down like that and then Tony actually did it (in a mean abusive way but I was unfortunately into it)

oh my god okay sorry this is actually so devastating that Kenta is learning how the man who he's ready to give his life for doesn't see him as a son but as a dog but I'm actually losing my mind at his kneeling and crying and begging and getting kicked and giving his hand like a dog gives its paw

Did they also leave the bag this time? Girl, they're so bad at rescuing Kim and not retrieving the bag

I like don't even want Way and Babe reconciliation for real, so I'm glad we're not getting that already at least

ah, as expected he's Babe's father

All these people know that they're buying the kids right? Is it gonna be like Gifted when they're like making a disruption to let the world know what's really going on but they all already know?

Alan trying to drag Jeff away while Jeff wants to protect the kids, this uncle man is annoying me lately

Charlie just zooming in at the end lmfao

The lack of Charlie and Babe was so interesting. Like yeah, makes sense that the two wouldn't be together in Ep 11 and 12 but we got so much airtime for side characters in these 2 eps but it didn't make me feel like no, go back to the mains, because there are so many characters and threads here. And even gave me Kenta and PeteKenta brain rot in these 2 eps.

Ep 13 (Feb 11)

Last episode, like 50 mins long and I don't know what I'm hoping for. like at first, the show was mostly about Babe and Charlie and I want a good closure for them too, esp after like 3 episodes without them together. But I'm randomly so invested in like Kenta now and I don't know what I want from that end. I don't care that much about Alan and Jeff anymore, unfortunately but I'm guessing we'll get some time with them too. Also want to see how the huge and elaborate child trafficking ring is dealt with.

Bro stop explaining everything right now and escape, even though I get Babe's conflicting emotions of "am I dreaming?" unbelievable amounts of happiness and confusion at why Charlie fakes his death

Kenta okayyy

damn, the reaction to the socmed vids seem dumb from Tony's part but who knows

loll Sonic dgaf about pushing away Winner's gun

What happened to all the other patrons and guards?

ah, you did it Kenta even though you cried, you still killed your father. stabbed him in the back, poetry

oof, rip Way

Man, these scenes of Way dying and everybody mourning him at his grave are objectively sad (esp the Way and Babe compilation again) but I don't care as much about him as I did in the earlier eps when he was going through his unrequited crush but before he attacked Babe

The part with Babe and his dad is so sad man but I hope this is heading toward a better future

Charlie and Babe will never stop having public sex and they shouldn't

negl for a second I got scared that they were implying Babe's pregnant or smth like what

Y'know I realize that Charlie and the other drivers a bit of a public figure, does nobody in their audience wonder why Charlie's not dead suddenly? Or was that not public knowledge, just that Charlie crashed real bad

public-ass kiss frr

Where is Kenta? my beloved

Overall:

This show had everything: non-traditional alpha/alpha relationship (w concepts I wasn't aware of like Enigmas but somehow no Omegas lol), racecar competitions, x-men like superpowers (heightened senses, stealing powers, hypnosis, mind reading, telling the future), child trafficking, pseudo-incest if you think about it (from Kenta's side at least) and more. And it didn't have a super strong script, there were nonsensical elements and plot holes that didn't get addressed and things that happened to just move the plot along, but it was a fun watch nonetheless, both for the novelty and the entertainment factor.

The most important aspect of the show was definitely the characters and relationships despite there being like a wrong human trafficking ring and everything involved; it well went back to how it affected the people and their relationships. Babe was a very compelling character with his past and how he behaves in the present and his relationships with Tony/Way/people in general. Also helped that Pavel did a really good job with him and acted his ass off, there were quite a few emotional moments in there.

I agree with some people's comments that I wish Charlie's actor Pooh as a better actor. And his character wasn't as developed or with depth as the other ones either, like in terms of emotions I guess. I could never quite tell how much in love with Babe he really was at a given time because he didn't quite... look it, it looked more like a little puppy fanboy who may or may not be playing it up to conceal his true intentions. Alan and Jeff were cuter in my head before they got together tbh. North and Sonic are dating to me, they're so cute.

Although I really liked Charlie/Babe, my true ship winners might be Pete/Kenta in a Not Me ToddBlack fashion, to be honest, with Kenta as maybe my favourite character (2nd is Babe). They gave us like 2 tiny hints that they might know each other and waited until literally last 10 mins of episode 11 out of 13 to lay out their history and baggage and relationship and Kenta's crush, all the while showing them in a fight where Kenta's trying to hurt Pete (but Pete knowing Kenta can't kill him). They have an interesting friends (-> brothers/crush) -> enemies -> allies again at the very end dynamic where I think that they could become lovers post-canon. And I love how pathetic and desperate for love Kenta is and how he was willing to do despicable things for Tony's approval before finally, finally knifing him. Really had me writing a fic idea in my notes app after my few months of no drive to write, I wonder if I'll actually finish it or not because it's kinda... more explicit and intense than the fics I usually write but it was really good in my brain.

Once again, I'm shallow, so here are the people I find most beautiful: Charlie specifically when he has his glasses on and is being a cute puppy, Sonic omg pretty girl for real, Babe is so attractive - esp the younger version of him without the gelled hair but even in the present day when he smiles and is happy he's so beautiful. Jeff sometimes but I think I'm more into his vibes than specifically his face. Way is gorgeous omg, also aside but that actor has mentioned dating men before including a 7 year relationship.

Rating: 6.5/10

Tiktoks:

Several of the most liked Pit Babe edits from Ep 1 - 2 because that's when I first saw it and went through the tag

Charlie (song: Honey, I Hate You - XIS)

Ep 3: When Babe stops Charlie from kissing him before the race

Ep 4: Babe telling Charlie they're done

^ Those ones I added before I watched the show and these ones I added now:

Kenta with Tony (Song: Mama's Boy)

Ep 11 Kenta and Pete history (Song: Take Me Back to the Night We Met)

PeteKenta interactions

#ep by ep commentary #pit babe

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