#shits not great rn </3

[camelspit]

grrr hate art

#nothing is working and i am pissed off #but everytime i take a break to like. cool off. it sucks man. #telling myself fandom isnt an obligation but it feels bad being so inactive! #especially since my last 2 art posts have been admittedly very shitty #and i cant seem to get out of this hole. god. #banging my head against the wall bc its like #if i cant contribute art than what can i do. what am i even good at. #i think most of this is probably just being caused by school beating my ass to hell #and my just like. constant state of exhaustion #shits not great rn </3

[drawnfamiliarfaces]

;3

#ninja showdown #my immortal soul #first ninja x chase young #rc9gn first ninja #first ninja #chase young #rc9gn #xiaolin showdown #randy cunningham 9th grade ninja #me @ me; how many art tropes we gotta draw for those two? also me: yes ;) #listen. LISTEN. the world is kinda shit right now and im sad and so im drawing a lot of these two rn to comfort me #but instead of drawing all those great angsty soul-tearing ideas i had. do you know what my brain decided?? DO YOU??? #it saw a picture of Chase with wet hair and went: you know what would be very cool idea??? ;))) and i promptly sketched almost 20 pgs #comic where absolutely nothing actually happens but 14 of the pages contain half-naked wet men!!!!!! AND YOU KNOW WHAT #somehow its not even the worst thing i drew because right after that??? #my brain was like heehoo what about some love spell/pollen trope?? ;3 & i kid you not i doodled some of it and now im just sitting here #with my head in my hands wondering wtf am i doing as i stare at a doodle of love spelled first #so ye guess what im gonna be working on this month lol

[hwanswerland]

happy birthday jazzy @woosansang ♡♡♡

#fio.gifs #tuserjazzy #atzsource #san #wooyoung #yeosang #im very sorry i really wanted to include the knees in some way but i couldnt find any video that would have fit the rest of the vibe #the amount of shit i found on discord lmao but most of that i couldnt really put here so #also i hope you rb this at least twice bc i put that san first so the next time i see him in my notes its at least my own set #i hope you have a great day after all the stressful things happening <33 #*like they're probably still happening but idk what words to use here rn but you get me #i hope you find some time between all that to at least yell at me for this and roasting and personally attacking you yet another time lmao #thank you for being my friend <3 have the best time today with your friends <3 #(sorry im still sick my brain is fried i cant think so this half assed whatever has to do sorry)

[pepprs]

halfway thru my first drivers ed session. idk if i can do this aftually lol

#purrs #there’s like 30+ ppl in the class and most of them are high schoolers who already have like at least 20-30 hrs and i have 3. also the #instructor is really nice and means well but she is also a little clueless and she embarrassed me in front of everyone (or maybe i #embarrassed myself) bc she had us all introduce ourselves and say what we like to do and i said play video games and she was like oh are you #a bit of a gamer 👀 have you been to any of those conventions. LIKE 💀😭 NO I JUST PLAY SILLY LITTLE PET GAMES….. #but ajyways um. i don’t have enough driving experience to start behind the wheel lessons yet 💀💀💀💀💀 and we r watching videos rn and it’s so s #scary like istill have such trouble even maneuvering the car around how am isupposed to develop situational awareness and be driving on high #hihways and shit. this is so overwhelming. it’s like ‘every moment ur behind the wheel u and the ppl around u are at risk’ well idont want t #to be at risk or risk others lives. but also i need to move out. help 💔💖 #anyways this class has INSANELY long breaks (like 15+ mins thank god) and we might be able to end early every day too so. fingers crossed it #wont be that bad and i’ll actually retain stuff and learn to drive fucking finally. but im so scared #also on thursday we are watching a video depicting a graphic c*r cr*sh so. that’s just fucking great #drivers ed tag

[skrunksthatwunk]

just put my snake in his newly refurbished enclosure and he's doing laps <333

#i love him sm #he's the one i have anxious pet neglect dreams about and im just glad i finally put his new shit in #lotsa thick aspen to dig in and a bigger water bowl bc hes a grown man and a new hide etc etc #my beautiful beautiful boyyyyy #well the anxious pet neglect dreams aren't About him so much as they started when i got him #they usually involve me suddenly getting like 8 new pets that i dont have the spoons or knowledge for so im always letting them down #not my favorite experiences not my most pleasant dreams #but he's zoomin!!!! hes been pretty stationary lately and i think some of thats him getting older but i think the new stuff'll help make him #more comfy regardless #plus the water bowl's big enough that he can soak in it now if he wants :3 #he'll probably go back to just kinda sittin soon bc he's getting near a shed #poor guy cant see all that well rn and thats never a fun time to take him outta the tank. i feel bad :( #ooh he's up in the hammock hehe #thats the last thing he hasnt checked out yry #he likes that thing but its suction cups arent great #omg hes so sillyyyyy hehehhehe #baby man. baby. boyo

[eirian]

my doctor keeps postponing the stimulant treatment by upping the dosages of my other meds first and im like. bro thank you but just give me the adderall im begging you

#'more of this will work against seizures!' #thats great and appreciated but can you Also put me on a stimulant <3 thank you #my main enemy rn is executive dysfunction and these other meds arent doing shit for it i'll tell u that

[moominpopzz]

Finding the meaning of life in this stupid fucking app and the fact I only got an hour of sleep last night cause I was too eager sharing childhood stories with someone Ive never talked to and the fact I can’t stop giggling despite my rib aching and I found a new band yesterday and what’s better to live for then music and laughter and sharing stories that mean more then life to you with random people

#I’ve been crying all morning #I feel so oddly happy and content #having a prolonged non-depressive ep and god #this shits great man #so emotinal rn this shit got me writing poetry #moomins yapping<3

[cxpperhead]

Apparently there's a solar eclipse going on back in his home state of Arizona.

#🐍 || musings #Copperhead having a brief wistful moment #He adores the sun but man wouldn't that be a sight to see #Apologies for having been so quiet this week work is still kicking my ass #Got one more shift though and no more all nighters until next Thursday so a couple of easy days incoming! #Unless shit changes again bc let's be real it'll probably happen XD #Anyways enjoy a sombre snake <3 #Hope you're all having a great weekend people #Lots of scary news going on around the world rn I just wanna wrap you all up in a blanket :(

[benetnvsch]

Did they really cut out the part where Dazai wonders about Kunikida no way, say it isn't so-

(they also??? used a different recording than the preview and Dazai sounds significantly less whimsical when he mentions kunikida , girls can't have anything huh?)

#I AM GOING TO BITE SOMEONE THIS IS SO UNFAIR <//3 #IT WOULD HAVE BEEN SO EASY TO JUST ADD DAZAI'S LIL RAMBLING IN THE BG WHEN HE WALKS OFF SCREEN U WOULDN'T EVEN NEED TO ANIMATE ANYTHING EXT #though tbh im surprised they still let Dazai mention him FKDIHFKJH- #so I'll take it but not happily #crying shitting pissing my pants throwing up - #all of this is lh but man kunikida is least favorite child real </3 #oh on a more funny note #they didn't show his feet though which is funny bc how often they show Dazai's #they had a chance where they could have and did the opposite and put more layers on kunikida's feet instead which is great #thanks bones for that at least lmao #gonna handle these emotions by translating that a one drama CD where Kunikida meows cuz I don't believe there's one up rn - #this is all lh it sucks but like im all good akjshdk

[brickwoods-amusement-park]

i was thinking about the bap crew parents again and I Haven't shared much info about them </33 long story short the majority of them are in a Messy polycule (only messy bc malcolm (sophia's dad) doesn't really tell his wife (penelope) about it and also he and penelope dont actually love each other (dont get married to appease your dad who's sorta in charge of a cult guys))

but anyways. nic (rebecca's dad) has had an on and off relationship w/ malcolm in which he's tried to convince malcolm to leave the cult and Not to raise children in that hell (he. did not listen <3) so thats Really messy (nic is really in love with malcolm and juliet (rebecca's mom) knows this and is okay w/ it but she also wishes that malcolm would listen too (she cares about him) but also malcolm is really repressed with how he actually feels about nic and wont admit how much he loves him) (oh and nic and malcolm met and were bffs when malcolm was younger and was allowed out of the cult to meet other people and thats when their relationship started (and a wife. yk))

also nic & juliet are dating blair's dad (jason) and they are healthy !! <33 very lovely and loving however jason's wife (maria) is not a good person :( and they don't have a loving relationship however she's aware of jason's relationships and despite the fact that they've talked about the relationships and are Supposed to be open, she doesn't tell jason about her hookups with other people (including her kinda-sorta-not-really relationship with penelope- who also doesn't mention anything to malcolm)

anyways that was a lot of info on people yall Do Not know and wont be Main parts of the show tbh but if yall have questions i would love to hear them i've made up so much unnecessary lore for them </3

#bap rambles #bap: families #im procrastinating hw rn so this is just fast and silly lol #and yeah sorry there's cheating and stuff. i dont condone that shit btw. just saying. #but they are toxic and there are sad themes to the show so </3 #oh and parents not mentioned here: #joyce and link- davids moms. very happy and amazing i love them #(they are also friends with most all the parents and support nic attempting to get malcolm to leave the cult) #(except i think nic wouldn't Say cult. but he would say like “bad situation” bc he doesn't want to betray malcolm's trust) #and also not mentioned: sunni's mom Lolita </3 #she's Bad. sunni doesn't call her mom (would call her lola when he was younger) but yeah she wasn't so great :( #but she's also not part of this mess Entirely soo i didn't need to mention her lol #okay. idk if Any of this makes sense but im tired so Post !

[searidings]

more horny enemies to lovers BLEASE i am liderally salivating...................

it's brewing!! but while it brews, here is a miniature sneak peek of the next chap to tide you over

#you would frankly not believe how Much is going on in my life rn tbh i can scarcely believe it myself #but i love this fic and am working on it and really want to do it justice #and hopefully i will be able to do that in a timely manner! but we shall see #i unfortunately do not control the rate at which shit happens to me that prevents me from writing gay little stories #but this gay little story will - god willing - continue before too long #tysm for your enthusiasm and support i hope you're having a great day <3 #asks #anonymous #mine

[widevibratobitch]

.

#coming to tumblr for the first time in three days just to bitch because i feel like shit <333 #sorry if i havent responded to your message i will as soon as i get a grip but rn im just too busy #both with uni and with crying because a friend said a mean thing to me lol #and because im tired of this new friendship already and tired of hearing this girl talking how great she is lol #am i jealous? fuck yeah i am. #and it's not like she's mean like straight up. cause like. #when i say im really considering quitting and dropping out she tries to encourage me ig #but then she follows it up with 'ofc *I* never had a problem with this and that because it always just came naturally to me teehee #but yknow. dont give up uwu' #and she keeps sending me recordings of her singing to tell her how good she is and always tells me how her teacher praises her #and like. its cool. like i get it that its a nice feeling when you do something well and wanna share that joy with a friend #but idk. i just think its kinda. well not mean but a litt #*a little tone deaf? when ive just been telling her that im in a Bad Place rn and my voice isnt working as it should #and my pianist is bullying me and i end up crying on almost every lesson #and she hits me with a 'damn that sucks fuck that pianist dont give up tho <3 #now do you wanna listen to me sing bel raggio lusinghier like a pro and my professor telling me i am sublime?' #also when i tell her that im sorry that im not very social and i just cannot stay and chat cause im having a horrible day today #and really dont feel well and she's like 'yeah i havent noticed anything you're always like that... *side eye*' in a way that suggests #im a horrible friend cause im not talking with her enough and yet again im disappointing her (aint that familiar lol) #i just. idk. the last two-three weeks have been absolutely horrible to me. i cant get out of bed i havent done a single colorful make up #in so long ive basically forgotten how to do that. and i loved doing fun make up looks that make people tell me i look like a clown. #but i just dont have the energy to do anything more than put on a random tshirt and spray dry shampoo on my unwashed hair #i dont even wear my rings anymore. ive stopped caring about being the pinkest slayest queerest looking bitch in the room cause i just. cant #and even some casual friend of mine asked me yesterday if im okay cause they can see something is Not Right. but SHE not only doesnt notice #anything. i have a feeling she feels like im disappoing and neglecting her because i cant be bothered to text with her 24/7 #like idk. maybe its just my imagination but i barely even feel like an actual person. more like just a homunculus made to trail after her #and listen to her bragging about how pretty/talented/unbothered she is #oh and also for her to keep dissing m/ozart lol like idk why it hurts me so bad but then ig its not that unusual to feel shitty #when someone keeps talking shit about something you really love and are passionate about and making you feel like an idiot #because you like it. because its stupid and boring and you're a simpleton for enjoying it instead of liking sth more 'ambitious'

[astrxealis]

subtle hints of horror crawl up on me ever since new year man

#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚ #rambling in tags heehaw!! #okay basically uh beach fishpeople + cults + dangerous stuff in woods #AARRRGghhhghghghghhh.... at least i am still sleeping well...... hhahah #to elaborate bcs i am obnoxious and like elaborating: i was at the beach for jan 1-2! and! i read the shadow over innsmouth in dec! #bcs i got the whole collection of lovecraft's stuff as a xmas gift to myself courtesy of a giftcard from a gift exchange #<3 yay. and i am Obsessed w that shit ... !!! fishing hamlet in bloodborne!!!!! great old ones fish people + plottwist!!!!!!! #the cult stuff ig started from the fact my class made a whole film for one of our classes and it was centered on cults. sort of. #abuse of religious power... yeahhhh...... i was a screenplay writer for it alongside my friend :3 #and i read a ryne/gaia fic lately w it on the idk 7 hour long ride home from beach. bcs they're cute. #and i love the premise w/ and w/o the cult stuff but it is very disturbing (beautifully so but Dear God me) #woods... scary..... idk abt that one #oh. i had a nightmare in dec that really freaked me out. it was like 2-3 different nightmares. weird ass shit. #okay gn before i start to go insane (aka even more insane than i already am. rn. and also usually)

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#it is truly so wild to go from feeling miserable and hopeless all the time for... lets look at my excel sheet #the last 23 days. then to suddenly rocket up to smiling to myself all day. the world is so fucking beautiful #for no rational reason aside from what i have to assume is a chemical shift in my body #like is this what happy ppl feel like all the time? its truely so crazy. have i always been like this? #did i not notice this was a thing? like ive definitely noticed it in the last year but like ??? #my suspicion is that it doesnt actually last long enough to b considered hypomania but like idk i should see a doctor probably lol #u would think being happy would make it easier to do things but i just keep forgetting to do them and just like spacing out lol bc rn i #feel chill. even tho i need to make a list of the shit i gotta do by Friday. bleh. but idk it makes being in thr lab so much nicer bc i #mean. i still dont give a fuck abt what im doing but im like fuck it this isnt gonna b my problem in like 2-3 months. even tho im sure ill #still have to write up everything. but idk. it also makes it easier to b like. ok so i kno what my problems r lets plan yo make things not #so horrible so u dont just live a miserable life and then like die having lived a life of fear. like its so crazy how much easier thst is #to do rn??? well see how long it lasts but yea v strange. wish i could control my fucking focus tho. like that would b great #its like the fucking painting of hypnose. my focus is like a lighthouse wildly swinging its light around until it sometimes blasts me in #the face. like not helpful. i need to b able to do things. #i guess the weird thing rn is thst while i feel happy. i also have this like simmering fear of irrational things. like when i used to live #in my parents basement and i was terrified of the dark rooms down there at night. like that kind of childish baseless fear #but like im in i tiny tiny apartment lol like bro what r u scared of??? silly silly silly #idk hopefully it holds out the whole rest of the week and then i can travel and see my parents like !!! yo !!! happy vibes :-D #that would b kinda unhinged lmao. i doubt itll last thst long. its already slipped from this morning so we shall see #unrelated

[enjomo-arch]

M-Modern verses -

#I silently make ace verses i never post abt in here #He has 3 modern ones rn : D #I can't stop thinking abt him in modern verses casual ones / ones where he keeps flame flame fruit #So many of them rotating in my head #I like to think abt modern ASL too living in a big house and shit man. #They'd be having great parties in here #「002」 𝗢𝗨𝗧 𝗢𝗙 𝗖𝗛𝗔𝗥𝗔𝗖𝗧𝗘𝗥

[kiriona-apologist]

the process of writing poems for a contest is just

write poem A which is not about any of the proposed themes

write poem B which is also not about any of the proposed themes

write poem C which is sorta about the proposed themes if you squint

edit poem from 4 years ago but it's also also not about any of the proposed themes

squint at poem C because it's probably as good as you're going to get

#i watched a meteor shower and cranked out 3 poems at 4 in the morning these are either gonna be great when i'm fully conscious or shit #refraining from submitting my entry rn bc editing exists but hgggggh #i have no idea if i'm gonna sleep tonight i drank caffeine super late to be wide awake to see shooting stars #i am paying for my hubris