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igorvinyls · 17 days

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Why I Believe John Lennon is Asuka Langley

Hello everyone! I originally created a thread about this over on Twitter, though I also want to post it here just because. I want to preface this by saying while this is mostly a joke, I still want to point out the similarities between the two. I find that both John and Asuka are very complex people/characters that happen to heavily relate to each other. Obvious spoilers for Neon Genesis Evangelion. TW FOR TOPICS SUCH AS SUICIDE AND DEATH.

CHILDHOOD TRAUMA

Both John and Asuka lost their mothers from a young age, with Asuka losing her mother at 4 and John losing his mother just before his 18th birthday. It’s known that John’s mother wasn’t exactly mentally stable as Mimi, John’s aunt, was given custody of him. Similarly to John’s mother, Asuka’s mom, Kyoko, was also mentally unstable. Kyoko lost her mind after surviving a failed experiment with Evangelion Unit-02. This experiment would also end up taking the life of Yui Ikari, Shinji’s mother (this is important info for later.) Kyoko ultimately committed suicide after losing her mind and her husband in the process. Though it is ambiguous how Asuka’s father felt towards her, he did indeed drive his daughter away by cheating on Kyoko while hospitalized. It’s also known that John’s father wasn’t very involved with him up until the height of Beatlemania. Both John and Asuka were never very close with their parents due to many different factors.

(It can also be argued that John and Asuka were both adopted, but Asuka being adopted was only canon in the manga. For the sake of this post, I’ll only mention canon events from the anime going forward.)

I would also like to bring up this video.

RELATIONSHIPS WITH LOVERS

John and Yoko will probably be the most recognized celebrity couple in the world. It’s also recognized that John had an Oedipus complex which was sometimes discussed. The same can be said for Asuka, considering the fact that she romantically latched onto Kaji, a 30 year old special inspector for NERV. Asuka does this to fill the void of a perfect father figure in her life, as well as filling the role of a lover. John mentions doing this with Yoko numerous times. John and Yoko would even go as far as calling each other mommy and daddy. Moving onto other romantic relationships, I will now discuss Shinji, Asuka, John, and Paul. Shinji and Asuka have this strange dynamic throughout the story of Evangelion. Asuka is secretly in love with Shinji (you can already see which direction this is headed in), though Shinji has a hard time reciprocating his feelings due to his own personal struggles. Asuka’s rudeness and constant bullying also confuses Shinji, leaving him to wonder what Asuka truly feels for him. In this scenario, Paul would be in the same boat as Shinji. Shinji and Paul both lost their mothers at a young age. Paul and John bonded over the loss of their mothers. In a way, this also happens with Shinji and Asuka. It’s easy to tell that Shinji is more drawn towards Asuka after she tells him that her stepmom isn’t her actual mother. John and Paul go on to have a rivalry as they grow older, which also happens to Asuka and Shinji, though their rivalry was highlighted since day one. This rivalry between the two characters progresses all the way to the finale of the series. You can say that Asuka finally accepts Shinji when she lifts her hand up to his cheek while he is brutally strangling her. This act is seen as her accepting him into her heart after everything that they’ve been through. John and Paul also reconcile towards the end of John’s life. In Evangelion, the world is quite literally destroyed at the end of the series when the two finally reconcile. I’m not gonna be cheesy and say the same for John and Paul, but yeah. MOVING ON NOW.

OTHER FACTORS

John and Asuka have a habit of trying to appear more “mature” than they truly are. Asuka constantly boasts about being the best and most mature out of everyone. Same can be said for John. We also see this with his marriage to Cynthia Powell, John’s first wife. In my eyes, John’s first marriage was a rush to maturity considering the fact that he was only 21. I could say the same for John having a child with Cynthia at such a young age as well. John and Asuka, though trying to seem mature, are ultimately vulnerable people who tend to regress. Asuka acts like a young, lovestruck girl with Kaji. John acted in a similar fashion with Yoko. Asuka and John had massive egos. What else is there to say, really?

FINAL SUMMARY AND A FUN FACT

This is gonna be a quick one that basically ties together the points of my threads.

John and Asuka were seriously neglected as children which had a massive impact on their social development, as well as behavior.

Both had large egos, yet low self esteem.

The only fun fact about the two I have is that they both know German and Japanese.

THANKS FOR READING!

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ayyy-pee · 2 years

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On-Call

Discord 18+ - Twitter - Kofi

Pairing: Shoko Ieiri x Female Reader

Summary: The rush of a hospital stops for no one.

Yet in the early morning hours, when it's just you and her within the four walls of the on-call room, time seems to stand still.

Genre: Hospital AU

Story Warning: Smut, Lesbian Sex, Vaginal Fingering, Scissoring, Slight Jealousy

“Eighteen hours down and we’ll be back again in ten!” Cheers your colleague, Haibara. He raises his pint of beer in the air before throwing it back, chugging it down within seconds.

“And you’ll be fired for showing up drunk if you don’t slow down,” your other colleague, Nanami chimes in.

“Aww, Kentoooooo,” Haibara whines. “Come on! Doctors deserve breaks, too!”

“Yes, breaks. Not alcoholic benders.” Nanami takes a sip of his own beer. The blonde didn’t seem the slightest bit drunk, but that wasn’t unusual. You’d seen Nanami knock back plenty of beers then calmly perform an emergency resuscitative thoracotomy in the ER just an hour later. He was serious, professional and it seemed he did almost nothing wrong. There was much to be admired when it came to Nanami.

Haibara on the other hand was a decent doctor. He was the opposite of Nanami - silly, optimistic and thoroughly enjoyed being a medical professional. They balanced each other well and their friendship made your days worth working.

You loved being able to go home at night and think about the lives you’d saved, the families who you made sigh with relief and happiness at the fact that their loved one would make it. They’d be surviving because of you and your friends. There was no better feeling.

But some days were harder than others. Being a doctor came with its fair share of misery. There were days when all you saw was exhaustion, suffering, families huddled together to say their final goodbyes as they watched the light fade from their loved ones eyes. Yes, some days were harder than others. And when those days were over, you found yourself in the bar surrounded by your friends for quick drinks before you all went your separate ways to power nap before doing it all over again.

You’re all in your second year of residency at Tokyo Jujutsu Medical Center. It’s been absolutely brutal; nothing compared to your intern year, but still intense. Your Chief Resident, Dr. Yaga – despite his assortment of cutesy panda pins – is a hard ass who never lets up. You know he’s hard on you all for a reason, but it still sucks to have someone breathing down your neck over how you placed a catheter or the way you entered your patient dosages. In the end though, you know you’ll be a better doctor because of it. You, Nanami, Haibara, Utahime…everyone you’d spent the last few years suffering with…you would all probably need intense therapy, but you’d be the best doctors.

Then there was her…

Your eyes roam over the shot glass ridden table all the way to the pretty woman across at the end of it, downing probably her twelfth shot of the night before wrapping her glossy lips around a cigarette and taking a drag.

She’s beautiful, with chocolate brown hair that spills around her shoulders and down her back. Her eyes are a similar shade of brown, sparkling despite the dim light of the bar.

Ieiri Shoko – the top dog at the hospital. She’s more than beautiful, if you were being honest. She’s stunning. In another world, you would have loved to be at the other end of the table going toe to toe with her, laughing and taking shots. But, you can’t. You know why. She knows why. It’s for the best that you keep your distance, no matter how difficult it is for you…and maybe for her.

Shoko is gorgeous, talented, insanely smart. And she’s way too cool to be hanging out with you all. You’re sure Satoru and Suguru are way more interesting, way better company. But, maybe she wanted a change of pace. She has been with those two idiots since med school.

Shoko is above you when it comes to rank at the hospital, so you’re not quite sure why the hell she decided to come out with you all when she’s got friends of her own. In fact, you’re not even sure who invited her, but if you had to guess, it’d be Haibara. He likes everyone.

The sharp sound of a pager’s beeping cuts through the joy at the table, the silence setting in immediately. Everyone reaches for their devices, sighing with relief when they see the page was not for them. You groan, throwing your head back as you stare at the tiny screen in your hand.

“Unlucky me.”

You slide the rest of your drink to Nanami who you’re sure will finish it and then drink another. “I have to be back in about five hours, so I’m heading to the hospital to crash in the on-call room,” you tell your friends. “See you all at rounds.”

Mostly everyone says their goodbyes and you head out of the bar, making the trek back to the hospital.

—---

In the way too early morning hours, your alarm blares next to you, pulling you from a dreamless sleep. When was the last time you’d dreamt? Every time you close your eyes to rest, you only see the back of your eyelids nowadays.

You sit up, stretching before you slide out of bed to head to the bathroom to shower and brush your teeth quickly. You’ll have just enough time to head down to the cafeteria and grab a coffee and muffin before you have to get to rounds. You just need to stick to your timeline.

When you emerge from the bathroom wrapped in your towel, you notice a woman’s form splayed out on the bed out of the corner of your eye. You briefly wonder how she got in here, stepping forward slowly before you realize you recognize her. That thick brown hair and those long slender legs are unmistakable as you approach her.

“Shoko, what are you doing here?” You ask quietly. You glance back to the on-call room door. It’s locked. You’re sure it was locked when you went to bed alone last night and yet Shoko is in here.

She hums as her deep brown eyes find yours. “I wanted to see you before rounds,” she says simply and you freeze for a moment.

“Did I do something wrong yesterday?” Your mind thinks back to your shift. You’d had a bit of difficulty intubating a patient, but ultimately got that taken care of when Nanami came to assist. As far as you knew, there was no issue. The patient was stable.

Shoko shakes her head. “No. Well, I mean you left the bar without so much as a wave in my direction, but no. I just wanted to see you.”

She sits up, crawling off of the bed to stand before you. It’s only then you finally notice she’s only in her bra and panties. Shoko brings her hands up to cup your cheeks, gently bringing her thumb down and running it across your bottom lip before she leans forward and presses a soft kiss to them. Her raspberry lip gloss and the slight taste of cigarettes on her lips assaults your senses and you’re drowning in her before you know it.

“I missed you yesterday,” she whispers between kisses. “I missed these lips,” another kiss. “I missed your taste,” another kiss. “I missed touching you,” another kiss.

You pull back. “Shoko, we can’t do this here. I have rounds soon. We don’t have ti-”

“I want you,” She tells you simply. “I watched you all night, laughing with Nanami, Haibara, everyone else but me. I wouldn’t usually care, you know that. But I hate that I can’t sit with you when we’re out with everyone else.”

A soft smile spreads across your lips. “Yeah, because someone can’t keep her hands to herself.” You see a bit of the sadness behind her tired eyes and you bring your own hands up to cup her cheeks. “Shoko, you know what would happen if anyone found out about us.”

“I know.”

She’s quiet for a moment and you see the wheels turning in her head, trying to find a way to reason with you. She’s not usually so emotional. Shoko is quiet, laid back and nonchalant with most things…but most things didn’t include you. For the past eight months, you’ve been doing exactly what you’re doing now. Meeting up in on-call rooms, sneaking to each other’s apartments when time permits, giving each other longing stares across the pediatric wing when you’re passing each other on your way to a patient’s room.

It’s hard keeping this quiet. And you know it’s as difficult on Shoko as it is on you. It’s only when it’s just the two of you, tangled under the sheets together that she lets you in, tells you how much she wants you and wishes she could hold your hand out in the open. Outside of this, she wears her mask. That’s just how Shoko is. She hides her emotions behind her sarcasm and laissez faire attitude. It’s easier for her that way.

So you give in when she gets needy like she is now, leaning forward and pressing your lips to hers softly. She opens her mouth to you, desperately pouring herself into the kiss and giving you all she can in this moment.

“I do have rounds soon, so we can talk about this more later. Right now, let’s just be together,” you tell her between needy, open mouthed kisses.

She nods, hooking her finger into your towel and pulling. The knot holding the wrap up comes loose and it falls to the floor in a pile around your feet. Shoko’s slender fingers find your waist, pulling you flush against her body and you both moan when you feel your skin touch.

You slide a hand up the back of Shoko’s neck, holding her still as you deepen the kiss before you move your hand up to run through her hair. She sighs and you take advantage, slipping your tongue into her mouth. Shoko runs her tongue along yours, moaning softly when your hand grips her hair between your fingers.

Quickly, you loop your other hand around Shoko’s back, fingers deftly finding the hooks of her bra and unclasping it. She shrugs the garment off before removing her hands from your waist to push her panties to the ground, never breaking the kiss. Her hands find your waist, pulling you back against her and you both moan again when you feel your breasts press together, your groins connecting.

Shoko breaks the kiss first, leaning back slightly to gaze at you. And you gaze at her. She’s the most beautiful person you’ve ever known. You’re convinced that there is no one on this earth prettier than Shoko at this moment and you want to show her.

You gently caress Shoko’s chin, guiding her mouth to yours to kiss her deeply. Shoko melts into you. It’s dizzying, the way this one kiss is turning into one, two, three long kisses. You feel the throbbing in your core begin to grow and you’re desperate to be touched and to touch her. You push softly against Shoko’s shoulders, slowly guiding her back towards the bed until you feel her sinking back into the plush mattress, her hand coming up to grab your wrist and pull you down on top of her.

"I can’t wait to feel you," Shoko comments, pulling back to look at you. You drink her expression in, pupils blown with arousal as she leans into another kiss and you return it fervently, gently caressing her waist. Your hand drifts down Shoko’s chest, cupping her breast in your hand and she whimpers, her own hands coming up to grasp your breasts. She takes each of your hardening nipples between her index fingers and thumbs and rolls the sensitive buds, pulling a sharp gasp from you.

Shoko’s lips find their way to your neck as she lets go of one of your nipples and slips a hand between you both, sliding further and further down until her fingers find your aching clit.

She moans when her fingers slip between your folds and she finds you practically dripping into her hand. You feel her lips curl against your neck with a smirk as she slowly begins rubbing circles.

“We’ve hardly done anything and you’re soaking wet, baby,” she murmurs against you before running her tongue up your neck, to your jaw where she leaves featherlight kisses that have you panting above her.

“I guess I missed you too,” you tell her as you lean forward, crashing your lips into hers. A light gasp escapes you as Shoko slips a finger into your dripping cunt, slowly moving it deeper and deeper with gentle, firm strokes. You match her pace with your own sways of your hips, rocking back and forth in time with Shoko’s movements, gasping and groaning above her as Shoko slips another finger inside.

You drag your hand down Shoko’s torso, smiling against her lips when she shivers and moans at your touch. You feel the soft curls of her pubes just above where your paradise awaits you and you can’t take it any longer.

You break the kiss, sliding your hand between Shoko’s legs to find her just as wet as you. Your fingers stroke her clit gently and you watch as Shoko’s head falls back, her lips parting in silent pleasure as she unconsciously bucks against your teasing touch. You gently press against her clit and Shoko gasps, her hips rocking forward against your fingers.

“You’re so cute like this,” Shoko tells you when she brings her head back up to look at you. She drinks in the sight of you– chest heaving, breasts bouncing, eyes glossed over with lust and she moans softly when she feels the way your walls clamp down on her.

You watch as Shoko rolls her hips into your hand, matching the speed in which you rock your own hips against hers. You can’t help the shiver that creeps up your spine when you feel her sink her fingers into you again and again, hitting your sweet spot.

It goes on and on like this for some time, the sounds of yours and Shoko’s mixed pants and breathing filling the air of the on-call room. You feel yourself growing closer and closer to your peak, but you don’t want to get there without Shoko.

“Let me feel you,” Shoko breathes right before kissing your lips, your neck, your breasts. You nod, lifting yourself off of Shoko’s body and biting back the whine that threatens to escape when you feel her digits leave you.

She slips her fingers between her lips, sucking your essence from them and your core tightens at the sight. She’s so fucking sexy without even trying. Shoko scoots back across the bed and spreads her legs. You gaze at her, the way her pussy glistens with her arousal in the dull light of the on-call room and again, you feel your walls flutter before you follow her lead.

Shoko grabs your leg, hoisting it over her own. You scoot towards each other slowly until you feel Shoko’s hot core press right against yours.

“You’re so warm, so wet,” she moans, pushing her hips towards yours. You both hum with contentment, a soft groan rushing past Shoko’s lips.

You grind your hips against Shoko’s and shiver, feeling the way your slick lets you slide smoothly against each other. You work against each other, clits rubbing against each other. Your head spins from the immense pleasure you’re feeling and you both have to bite your lips to hold in the loud moans and gasps threatening to spill from your mouths.

Shoko grabs onto your thigh, gripping tightly as she picks up the pace. You can feel the wetness pooling between you both, the squelching sound of your slick mixing joining your moans and breaths as you press against each other as closely as you physically can.

“Fuck, god, you’re so wet,” Shoko groans, brows furrowing together as her hips move against yours. Your eyes are glued to her chest, locked onto the way her breasts bounce with every movement. She’s so beautiful, with her pink cheeks and kiss swollen lips. You’re in awe of her beauty, of the way she so effortlessly holds your attention.

“I wish,” Shoko gasps, “I wish I could show everyone you’re mine.” She rolls her hips against yours, moaning at the friction as she continues. “I want everyone to know when we leave here for the night, we go home together. That we belong together.”

Shoko, so quiet usually, is quite the talker when she’s approaching her climax. She always rambles on and on about how much she hates the secrecy of your relationship. And you know it’s true. This is when she’s the most open with you.

“Me too, babe,” you tell her, panting as you press yourselves together harder and faster, chasing your release. And you reach it quickly when Shoko throws her head back, moaning as she whispers, “cum with me”.

And you work yourself faster and faster against her, fingers gripping the bed sheets as you both chase your high together. Just when you think you can’t take anymore, an explosion of delicious ecstasy shoots through your body. You and Shoko cry out as quietly as you can, both your hips bucking of their own accord as you ride out your orgasms together.

……..

You and Shoko untangle your sweaty, sticky limbs as you catch your breath. She kisses you sweetly, whispering how much she wants to be with you, how much she cares for you. She’s always like this afterwards.

A few minutes pass and she climbs out of the bed, heading to the bathroom to shower before she quickly rinses off and dresses. “Sorry to bolt, babe. I have to get to rounds as well. You should hurry and get ready before you’re late.”

You chuckle softly, sliding out of the bed and picking your towel up from its spot on the floor where you’d left it. “It’s your fault if I’m late, Shoko. I better not get in trouble.”

Shoko smiles, moving to give you another kiss as she slips on her white coat. “I hope you don’t. I’ll see you later.” She kisses you again, hard. The way she always does when she misses you more than usual and knows she’ll have to mask her feelings for a while.

You watch her leave before you make your way back into the bathroom for another shower.

……..

You’ve skipped breakfast. You don’t have time and you’re already running behind schedule thanks to your earlier escapades. Rounds started about fifteen minutes ago. You’re bolting up the stairs to the third floor where the orthopedics wing is and where your rounds are taking place this morning. The elevator took way too long. You couldn’t afford to wait and you curse yourself thinking about what a waste of time it was to shower twice. You’re already sweating again.

As you round the corner, you can see the rest of your colleagues are already with a patient. They’re all crowded around the patient’s bed in their hospital room when you arrive. The voice of your superior echoes as they review the patient’s history with the group. You slink to the back of the crowd as your superior drones on.

When they’re done, the room is quiet save for the beeping of the patient’s monitors and their breathing machine.

And then you hear your name called.

Your colleagues separate, parting right down the middle so you’re face to face with your superior and your heart feels like it’s going to beat out of your chest. That luscious, long hair and those beautiful brown eyes with the beauty mark sitting atop her right cheek, just underneath her eye. She gives you a serious look, pursing those pretty, pretty lips she’s now reapplied her raspberry lip gloss to.

“You’re late, Doctor.,” she says sternly enough to fool the others, but not you. You know it’s all a facade. You recognize her mask is up, so you play along as you always do.

“I’m sorry, Dr. Ieiri,” you tell her, offering an apologetic smile. “It won’t happen again.”

TAGS: @Sacvh @suguju @pink4lili @watyousayin

#shoko x reader #jujutsu kaisen shoko #shoko ieiri #ieiri shoko x reader #jjk shoko #jjk ieiri #jjk fic #jjk fanfic #shoko x female reader #smut #jjk x y/n #jjk x reader #jjk smut #jjk x you #shoko nation #ieiri shoko #shoko smut #jujutsu kaisen fic

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superanimepirate · 4 months

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PJO Reaction Episode 5

Emerges from nearly 2 feat of snow I live!!! The US is not having a good time right now. Khione have mercy…

I have warm peanut butter chocolate chip cookies and some hot cocoa and I'm ready to see Ares and the Tunnel of Love. Remember, there is some minor spoilers for the TV series based off Book info

Oh right, starting off with the aftermath of ST Louis. Oh…this is where we have the Fates. That's terrifying

Percy, sweetie, dry yourself off lol

Baby Percabeth hug!!!

Yeah…being a wanted criminal kinda impedes public transportation

Oh, theorizing who stole the bolt. They're right, even if Hades had it, a demigod was needed to steal it

Baby Percy's confidence in Poseidon is adorable, but it'll be shattered I'm sure

I'm not sure how I feel about Annabeth seeing the string being cut instead of Percy, but it makes sense. She is connected to the Hero of the Prophecy who's going to die.

Hello Ares!

Ok, this scene is hilarious, with them hiding behind the concrete barrier and I'm liking this version of Ares.

Oh Percy, Ares is just the tip of the iceberg for your insane family. Wait till you meet your brothers

Oh I can't wait to see Tyson next season!!!!!

Anyway

Ares as a Twitter Troll makes perfect sense.

Oh good, we finally get Bitch Ass Gabe

Sassy Annabeth! I like how Ares is kind of explaining everything but with his spin on it. Especially the family drama and war stuff

Oh! Ares is separating the party. Poor Grover, I'd be terrified. To be fair, Grover is the least likely to punch him so that's probably good. Note: Least likely, not won't. He can be riled up when it comes to nature, pollution, and Pan

Oh this park is already creepy as hell.

Honestly, Hephaestus would build a bomb ass terrifying amusement park that would make adrenaline junkies drool. Me included, I love amusement parks and roller coasters

…Grover is a fan of Ares? I mean, nature is brutal. Is he actually a fan, or just buttering him up? I love this conversation actually.

Back to the creepy amusement park and the creepy tunnel of love

They don't recognize "What is love???" What is this younger generation coming too, they don't even know the classic memes

I kind of like Percy knowing some of the stories though, especially how Sally tells them.

Oh the ride is getting fun!

C'mon Percy, use your water powers! It would be very embarrassing to drown here. Ok good, he did it!

Annabeth's hair is never going to dry is it?

Yay a puzzle! I'm sure the throne is trapped nine ways from sunday

Of course Grover is trying to solve it and Ares is shutting it down…

Athena conversation? Ok, Grover is definitely trying to butter Ares up. This is beautiful. Oh….Grover what have you done.

Oh. if they make it so the throne is like a Chinese finger trap that would be a cute call back to the Mark of Athena. I don't think this trap is as simple as one gets trapped and one survives. Maybe if he just promises to be nice it'll let him go?

I love the scene tho, its so cute and serious.

Oh I love the animation for the trapped seat. Percy chanting "I'm ok" and turning to gold is heartbreaking.

C'mon Annabeth! If anyone can figure it out, its you!

Oh. Hello. Hephaestus? Hermes? Who is this? Oh ok, Hephaestus, I like his appearance, I didn't know he was cast already. What is his plan though?

C'mon Annabeth! Break that generational trauma! Character Growth!

Yay! Percy Lives!

Oh. I hate this part, the "kindness" transport. Oh. He's sending them to the Lotus Casino? Asshole. And there is the backpack…

Persassy strikes again!

"Thank you for the emotional abuse and the cheeseburgers" Grover never change. I'm stealing that. Somehow

Ooh, Grover knows Ares is lying. I wonder who he thinks stole the bolt? Athena?Damn you cliffhangers!

I think this was my favorite episode so far. I love all of the changes they made, and all of the conversations. The pacing is better than the previous ones, and so were the emotional beats and special effects

I'm so excited to see where we go from here!

#i've been fighting the internet to post this all day #if this post twice or something it's not my fault #percy jackson and the olympians #percy jackson and the olympians spoilers #percy jackson #percy jackson spoilers #percy jackson tv show #percy jackson tv show spoilers #pjo #pjo spoilers #pjo tv show #pjo tv show spoilers #will we see di Angelo siblings next week?

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thestalwartheart · 1 year

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Saw someone on Twitter call craig!bond the rugged bond and Brosnan!bond the pretty boy bond... what are your thoughts on them. Well we all know ur thoughts on craig bond but I'd like to hear more anyways

Okay, so Craig!Bond is my Bond of all time. My beloved. My fed-up, alcoholic, just-holding-himself-together disaster bisexual. BUT my first Bond was Brosnan!Bond. I grew up on his films and loved him. I do feel like it's a bit simplistic to reduce him to just the "pretty boy," though I admit he is v pretty.

I think, in some ways, their Bonds aren't too far removed from each other.

Brosnan's is known for being really smooth and unflappable, but there was a real nuance he brought to the role. It was less overt than what Craig managed, but still worth noting. I don't think Die Another Day is anyone's favourite Bond film, but the first twenty minutes or so of it are gold. He gets captured and tortured by the North Koreans, then - in a breathtakingly cruel turn - he's suspended by M because MI6 thinks he might have leaked information, then he finally gets to safety and tries to process all that in a hotel room, where someone tries to kill him. It's on par with the Turkey scenes in Skyfall, tbh. Totally heartbreaking and incredibly acted.

Also, Brosnan!Bond is an incredibly lonely iteration of Bond, but it's actually something you only notice when he's in bed with his women. There are three scenes that stick in my brain, in particular:

One of my favourites is in GoldenEye on the beach where he's brooding about having to kill Trevelyan. Natalya (one of the finest Bond women ever tbh) accuses him of being cold, he says "that's what keeps me alive." She responds with "No, that's what keeps you alone." And then they kiss etc etc, but what really strikes me is the desperation when he reaches for her. It's so clear he doesn't want to be alone, even if his life means that he'll always have to be. It was just a great scene.

Then, in The World Is Not Enough, you have the wonderful exchange with Elektra King where she asks him how he survives, and he tells her, "I take pleasure in great beauty." I'm sure he thought it was an attempt at misdirection, but it was extremely telling.

Say all you like about Tomorrow Never Dies, but the Paris Carver storyline is one of the most brutal in any Bond film, and very underrated. They used to be lovers. He admits to her that the reason he left her years ago is because she got too close. Then, she gets close again (while he's using her for the mission) and of course it all ends up in death.

Daniel Craig gets a lot of attention for the romantic melodrama in his films, especially with Vesper and Madeleine, but Brosnan took the material he was given and turned sex into a real window into Bond's character. I was always really awed by that.

I think my heart will always belong to Craig!Bond, mostly because of the ruggedness paired with a clumsiness that's sort of self-effacing and hilarious (running through walls, falling on couches etc etc). People will say Craig!Bond is closer to the books and all the rest of it, but the real reason I liked him was because no secret agent would ever be even remotely well-adjusted, and Craig never pretended that was the case. He once said he played Bond in Skyfall like he was about to fall apart at the seams with anxiety, terror and substance abuse. In reality, he played him like that for five whole films. It brought refreshing sense of realism to an otherwise very unrealistic franchise.

Anyway, they're both very different Bonds, but the thing that makes me love them both is the same: that they're both inescapably lonely men who are trying not to be.

And let's face it, the perfect love child of both of them is Dalton!Bond.

Whew! Okay! That got insanely long. I would love to hear other people's thoughts too.

#ask box #james bond #craig!bond #brosnan!bond

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mariacallous · 2 months

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Alexei Navalny, the most formidable critic of Russian President Vladimir Putin and his corrupt circles, who survived a poisoning and endured brutal persecution for years, died in the “Polar Wolf” Arctic penal colony. The Federal Penitentiary Service of the Yamalo-Nenets Autonomous District claimed that Navalny “felt unwell” after he went on a walk and “almost immediately lost consciousness.” Prison officials said that a resuscitation was unsuccessfully attempted.

Navalny has long been a thorn in Putin’s side and was relentlessly smeared by the Kremlin’s cheerleaders. Even after his demise, Russian propagandists couldn’t feign any dignity or humanity. Head of RT Margarita Simonyan posted on X (formerly Twitter) that the so-called “victims” of Navalny’s corruption investigations keep calling her, wishing for him not to rest in peace. She hypocritically claimed she couldn’t join them in those wishes, but only because she is observing an Armenian Lent.

In 2021, Simonyan described Navalny as “a traitor of the Motherland” and argued that like any traitor, he deserves to die. Referring to the Skripals and Litvinenko, Simonyan asserted that any method is acceptable when it comes to the people she deemed to be “traitors.”

NATO Secretary-General Jens Stoltenberg said that “Russia needs to answer all the serious questions about the circumstances of his death." Simonyan sniped back, “Russia owes nothing to no one, let’s start with that.”

Since in Russia “death of natural causes” can mean many different things, especially with respect to the opposition leaders and journalists, Simonyan immediately started to stir up rumors of foul play—not by Putin, but his enemies. She wrote, “Everyone has long forgotten him, there was no point in killing him, especially before the elections, it would be beneficial to completely opposite forces.”

Simonyan shared a post from a Telegram channel “BP Online” that said, “This is the retaliation for the interview. Thankfully, it wasn’t [Tucker] Carlson.” Despite Putin’s displeasure with the way Carlson’s interview with him had unfolded, the former Fox News host is a darling of the Russian state media, where he is described as the only American they wouldn’t want to kill.

This feeling is clearly mutual. On Monday, while he was at the World Government Summit in Dubai, Carlson was asked by Egyptian journalist Emad El Din Adeeb why he never pressed Putin about the freedom of speech in Russia and why he “did not talk about Navalny, about assassinations, about restrictions on opposition in the coming elections.”

Carlson coldly replied, in part, “Every leader kills people. Some kill more than others. Leadership requires killing people.” He openly endorsed the elimination of inconvenient opposition figures and journalists, falsely alleging that this kind of a domestic policy is common everywhere.

Other Russian propagandists also pushed the idea that Navalny’s death was somehow beneficial to the West, implying that foul play was involved. Writer Nikolai Starikov posted on Telegram, “Navalny departed from life at a very convenient time for the Western puppeteers” and argued that this may have been done to undermine the PR effect of Carlson’s interview and to prompt the U.S. Congress to approve the aid to Ukraine. Starikov claimed that Navalny’s wife Yulia is at the Munich Security Conference on the same day, which is “part of the plan.”

Despicably, Starikov claimed that Navalny’s widow “is barely holding back her smile.” His revolting post was boosted by Vladimir Solovyov, a notorious state TV host who for years maligned Navalny as a “traitor,” smeared his followers as “Satanists” and proclaimed that he deserved the death penalty. Now, in light of an untimely death of Russia’s most prominent opposition leader, Russian propagandists are both enjoying it and pretending that anyone but Putin is to blame.

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colemansdimple · 1 year

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So I did this quiz on my twitter to see if I should write next a Vicbourne au post war OR a pure vicbourne fic. Ppl voted and the vicbourne au won BUT I guarantee that I'm already working on the pure one and IT WILL HAVE MORE CHAPTERS YAY!

THIS IS A TOTALLY SFW FIC BTW WITH JUST ENOUGH SMUT NOT TO BE SO BORING

When one door closes

By colemansdimple

VICTORIA

Victoria was born to live a comfortable life. That's what everybody told her. Her family wasn't that rich but they had some means to ensure she'll never need to work a single day in her life. She was instructed as any highborn lady. She learned manners, how to dress and how to behave in society. But her passion was her piano lessons.

When she was growing up she had many sweethearts but her family chose her cousin Albert Coburg to be her future husband. His family had a good name and he was supposed to inherit land in the country. It wasn't as if she didn't care for him. They knew eachother since childhood and in their teenage years they walked hand in hand and shared innocent kisses. She knew that if she married him she wouldn't need to worry about anything in the world.

Then the war came. It was violent and long. Soon all the young boys were recruited to serve in the army. It didn't matter whose family they belonged. Destruction, fire and death followed. Her family lost everything they had trying to flee. In the first weeks after her fiance left they still exchanged letters but soon she would write but he would not reply back.

10 years the war lasted. Victoria was now a 26 year old woman with no husband, no money on her name and no knowledge of how the new world worked. When the letter came, the one saying Albert had disappeared in action, her parents decided to send her to live in the big city. She felt absolutely furious of her fate and hated everyone involved in her misfortunes.

She managed to rent a small flat shared with other 2 girls. She needed to get money to help them pay the bills fast or she would have to live in the streets. When she was walking around looking for a job she came across a small shop next to a cafe. It was an antique shop that sold things from before the war. Things that weren't destroyed. She looked through the window and saw the most beautiful piano she had ever seen. Oh how she missed playing her music! She went inside and asked very politely to the shopkeeper if she could play a little for free. She was pretty and managed to get his attention so he said yes. She sat on the piano...she held her breath...and she started to play.

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WILLIAM

William was a soldier. He was raised by his father since his mother left them. She was a good mother but she suffered from mood swings and had a strong temper. One day she just walked out of the door, closed it behind her and never came back. His father was a rigorous man. He raised William to be cold hearted and rational. But somehow he still managed to maintain his mother's kindness and cleverness with him. When William was 18 his father sent him to the army so he could escape the sins of youth.

Soon enough he raised himself in the ranks and became very influential inside the army. Almost like a politician. His ability to say and do the right thing saved his life many times. When he was 30 he met a woman in a officers party. She was pretty and had a calm way about her, he thought. The perfect role model for his future family. Something his own mother never was. They married and soon she became pregnant with his first child. And then the war came.

William barely had time to hold his Alice in his arms when he was summoned to the front lines. He needed to survive. He needed to come back to his family. He couldn't leave his child to grow up without him. The battlefield was brutal. Everyday more comrades fell. He was beginning to lose hope. He was responsible for one of the last regiments standing. They were reduced to boys who barely had any battle experience. Their cries at night seemed to never stop.

Then, miraculously, a peace treaty was signed. He could finally go home after 10 years away. However, when his troops were returning they found themselves trapped in a minefield. He tried to calm his men saying they shouldn't run but none listened. They so desperately wanted to go home. One by one they hit a mine. One by one they fell to the ground while William screamed for them to return. So many explosions all around him. He was starved, thirsty, exhausted and desperate. He ended up fainting.

When he woke up he was in a hospital. Another troop rescued him and some of his men. But others went missing. He would never forgive himself. If he was a better commander none of this would have happened, he thought. When he was finally able to return home he found out his wife had died in childbirth. Alice was being raised in an orphanage. When he saw her he fell in love with her all over again, like the first time he held her in his arms.

But to his child he was a stranger and it took a while for her to trust him and accept to live with him. He received many prizes for his actions in the war. Along with a penthouse and a very good retirement money. His daughter would want for nothing and he would raise her now to be a proper lady. He lacked the knowledge to do that however, and after the war the good schools were still almost all closed.

He was having a coffee one day, in a quiet street, thinking about the best way to educate his daughter, when he heard music. It was someone playing a piano in the shop next door. He got up slowly, almost enchanted. It has been so long since he heard a piano! Then he saw her through the window. She played with such passion and concentration she looked almost possessed. He felt petrified just by looking at her. She was so small but incredibly beautiful. Then the music ended. She got up, thanked the shopkeeper and headed for the door. He thought she must surely be a proper lady, the way she moved, and she clearly was educated in pre war schools. She must teach his daughter everything she knew. As she exited the shop, he grabbed her by the arm.

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VICTORIA

She was scared when she felt strange hands reaching for her arm. Immediately she tried to get away. But then she looked into his beautiful green eyes and she felt her anger slipping away.

- Excuse me miss, can I ask your name?

- It's not very polite to ask for a lady's name before you have yet to introduce yourself Sir.

He blushed slightly.

- I am William Lamb and I'm pleased to meet your acquaintance miss....?

- There's no need for you to know and I'm taking my leave. Good day to you sir.

She turned around to leave but he ran to stand in her way .

- I apologize miss. I'm just an army man and I've returned from the war not long ago. It appears that I've left my manners on the battlefield.

He said with sharp looking eyes. It had the intended effect because she clearly became interested in him. Maybe he might know something about my fiance, she thought. But in the back of her mind she was already dangerously getting lost in the forest of his eyes.

- I am Victoria Kensington. How can I help you Mr. Lamb?

- You see miss Kensington I have a daughter in need of proper education, and I heard you playing the piano and...I felt that you might be the right person to teach her how to become a lady in society. I can pay you well and it would be only a few hours of your time. Please, could you consider my offer?

Victoria thought this was surely a miracle from the heavens! This might be her chance to survive on her own in the big city and she might even get some news of her poor Albert! But she couldn't say yes right away. It isn't very ladylike, she thought, like she's desperate or something. Well... she was desperate...but she couldn't show it.

- I'll give it a thought Mr. Lamb. I've just arrived in the city you see and I'm still adjusting.

- Miss Kensington, please, if you could just come by tomorrow...I'll give you the address...then you will see why I...we...need your help so much.

Victoria agreed to come by his house...and she also agreed with a ride home. Her feet pained her from walking all day job hunting. He took her to her front door and gave her his card with the address of a penthouse. Not bad, Victoria thought, not bad at all for a first day in the big city.

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WILLIAM

He could barely contain his excitement! Finally he had done something right for his daughter! But she wasn't too happy with the news. The thought of having more lessons bored her so she locked herself in her room for the rest of the day. William felt distraught, he knew nothing of children. Why couldn't she just accept he was doing the right thing for her?

Next day, Alice still wasn't talking to him. He managed to get her bathed and properly dressed before Victoria arrived. When Alice saw Victoria for the first time she thought she was seeing a fairytale princess. Her makeup, her hairstyle, her clothes, her manner of speaking. Everything felt different from what she had seen so far in her little universe. Although her father knew Victoria had a secret temperament, something that intrigued him, he couldn't deny.

Contradicting what he thought would happen, Victoria and Alice got along very well. She taught her how to read, write, play the piano, table manners and to be polite in public. The girl watched her very closely and tried to copy everything Victoria did and said. It was like a game between the two of them. Victoria also taught her to be creative, to draw and paint.

- I believe, Alice, that young girls like you are the future of our society. It is still a society ruled by men but you must learn how to navigate it. What I give you are keys but you must open the doors yourself. At least that's what my own teachers used to say.

She told the girl with a kind smile.

William worked alone in his office, his battles now were with paperwork. But sometimes he would sneak to the study to watch Victoria and Alice. He was beginning to get used to their routine. When Victoria was around Alice became very talkative and energetic with him. Their relationship even improved after Victoria suggested he should read to her before bed and always make time for meals together.

But he kiddied himself that he wanted Victoria close just for Alice's sake. In his heart he knew he was already falling for her. Her wit, her temper, her smile with dimples, her big blue eyes, her beauty. He adored her presence and invited her to dinner with them many times. They talked all about Alice and her future.

One day, after the three of them had dinner, William put Alice in bed and offered Victoria some wine. They watched a little bit of television. Victoria liked it because she didn't have one in her own place. Modern things became too expensive after the war. William was tired and fell asleep on the couch next to Victoria. He woke up with blue eyes very close to his and a soft hand on his cheek. Touching him intimately for the first time.

-Mr Lamb you fell asleep...I think you were... having a nightmare...

Her beautiful eyes shinning like dark oceans. He wanted to drown in them and never come up for air.

- It's nothing. I'm sorry to worry you miss Kensington.

He said, moving away from her with some difficulty, already missing her warm touch.

- It's the war isn't it? The reason for your nightmares...do you want to talk about it?

They never discussed the war before. He lived in a bright present and he didn't want to spoil things remembering the dark horrors of his past.

- Miss, as I said, it's nothing.

-I never told you before but I...lost my fiance in the war...he left for the front lines...and never came back. I even received a letter informing me of his "disappearance in action".

She was opening her heart to him for the first time. So he felt he should do the same. He told her about his wife, about Alice, about missing ten years of her life, about the horror that he saw there in the battlefield. When he finished, his eyes were bright with tears.

-Thank you for telling me Mr Lamb.

-William miss. Please call me William..when we're speaking like this.

-Well...if we're ending the formalities for now...then I'll accept Victoria as well.

After that their bond became stronger. Although William promised her that he would do his very best to try to find her fiance, he prayed the day would never come that someone would take her away from him...and Alice.

One afternoon, Alice was practicing in the piano. Victoria and William were listening in the next room while having tea. Then, she did something unexpected. She got up and offered her hand to him. He took it and they started a slow dance. It was nothing out of the ordinary but soon he was pressing her body against his tighter than the music demanded. She didn't complain and closed her arms around his neck. Their foreheads touching. Their breaths becoming more irregular. Their mouths coming closer, closer. Until they were united in a soft kiss. It was the perfect first kiss. So sweet were her lips that he didn't dare to take more. Then, they realised Alice had stopped playing. The music had ended so the spell that binded them was over.

Victoria gave them both apologies, saying she needed to go home earlier. It was only after a while that William stopped staring at the door she closed behind her when she left.

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VICTORIA

She was a stupid, stupid woman! Why couldn't she just be happy with what she got? She had a good life considering all the post war situation. She had a good job. She had money. She even sent a little to her parents every month. Why couldn't she just be content with that? She knew he was falling in love with her. She wasn't dumb, she could see the signs. And she didn't mind it in the slightest because she was in love with him as well. She knew she shouldn't. That it had no future for her. When Alice grew enough, her lessons would be over and she would never see them again. They would just be a happy sad memory. And that was what she told herself every day before going to work.

But as soon as she got inside the penthouse...she felt like she belonged...she felt so comfortable and happy. She even forgot to send a letter to her parents, asking for a photograph of her Albert so she could ask William to search for him. She didn't think of Albert at all when she was there. She lied to herself thinking that she only missed her comfortable life from before the war but she knew it wasn't the case. She loved William and she loved Alice. She wanted nothing else but to be with them forever. And now she ruined everything! Would he be angry at her impropriety? Would he think she was just talking advantage of his kindness? Would he dismiss her in the next morning? All of those thoughts came flashing through her mind but when she laid down to sleep she couldn't forget the way he held her, or his beautiful green eyes or his tender lips on hers! She never felt like this with anyone.

Next day, she came to work as usual but William wasn't there to greet her. He spent all day locked in his office. The next day she received news that she wasn't needed that day. Alice told Victoria her father was away and she would be staying with neighbours. He went to the country to bring news of her Albert.

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WILLIAM

It was the second time he saw someone he cared about closing a door and leaving him. Deep within his heart he felt as if she would not return just like his mother. Of course she would leave! He should never have kissed her! She was his daughter's teacher, she had just recently become his friend. Someone he could talk to and share the hardships of fatherhood without being judged. And he was so much older than her! She must think of him a pervert and disgusting old man who just wanted to take advantage of a young unmarried woman! She must be hating him so much right now! God please let her not hate me! He thought.

Then, he decided it was time for him to do the right thing for her. He was always good at that. He just had the boy's name but he would find her Albert and bring him to her. It was the only way to compensate her for his misbehaving. Maybe she could forgive him one day and they could remain friends after Alice grew up. Although that thought alone hurted him profoundly, it was still better than not having her in his life at all.

Next day he spent it all in his office phoning people and writing faxes to all his known military colleagues to see if they knew the whereabouts of soldier Albert Coburg. He heard her when she arrived. He wanted to see her so badly. But he was too afraid to look in her eyes and see any trace of disgust on her face. It would kill him. So he tried his best to not open the door and run to her begging her forgiveness. He needed to succeed in the only thing she ever asked of him.

It was late at night when he finally got a call. Someone reported where the man he was searching for could be found. A small village not far away. He could go there and back in a day.

He left instructions for the neighbours to take care of Alice while he was gone and he told her to tell Victoria she must not worry because he would bring her fiance back. This did not make Alice happy at all but when she grew up she would understand, he thought.

When he arrived in town, he asked around for the boy and found him in a pub surrounded by girls in irredeemable clothing. As soon as he saw the boy, he remembered. This boy served in his troop. He couldn't remember the names of them all but his face he would never forget.

He was the first idiot that ran after he told them to stay put. The other boys followed after him and most were killed by the explosive mines. His fists closed tight in frustration. This is the boy Victoria loved. He was not worthy of her. Not that he considered himself worthy either. No. No man would ever be worthy of her.

- Mr. Albert Coburg?

- Well well if it isn't Mr captain shit on his pants.

He said with a smug smile on his face, obviously already drunk at midday.

William swiftly got him by the arms and took him outside to the back of the pub.

- I don't care what you think of me. I know I wasn't the perfect captain you all deserved. But I'm not here to talk of the past. I'm here in the name of your fiance Victoria Kensington. She is looking for you and waits your return to honour your marriage proposal.

-Never heard of her...and even if I did how do you think I could honour anything? When the war was over all of you captains got your medals and little prizes. While us soldiers got nothing.

-You all received enough payment for your services. It's not my fault if you chose to spend it all on sinfully things forgetting your responsibility. But enough of that. You will go back to Victoria and you will make her happy or I swear to god you will regret surviving this war.

William was on his limit. His grip on the boy's arms getting tighter and tighter with each sentence.

- I will give you some money to help you and her settle until you find a proper job. You seem healthy enough to support her. And either way Victoria still has a job to return to if she wishes. But you will go to her first thing in the morning in this address. And don't you dare say a word to her about what we talked here today!

William shoved an envelope with a good amount of money in the boy's hands and left. The ride home wasn't easy. He had always done the right thing but now he felt as if he didn't know what was right anymore. His feelings were in the way. He knew Victoria should be with someone she cared for but he felt she deserved more than that stupid boy.

He felt confused and angry. He needed time to think. Time to see if Victoria would return or if she would be happy away from him...from them. Tired, he fell on the couch and slept praying for just one peaceful night, free from his nightmares.

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WILLIAM & VICTORIA

Two days later and no news of Victoria. It stormed outside. It felt like the end of the world. The wind was strong and people were advised not to leave their homes. Alice was quiet ever since Victoria left that day, she spoke less and less. She ate little and excused herself to her room. He didn't have energy to argue with her. They were both missing Victoria in their own way, he knew.

It was a little after eight at night when someone knocked at his door. When he opened it a drenched Victoria stormed inside. She didn't even asked permission to enter. She looked absolutely furious but even in her fury she was the most beautiful woman in the world to him.

-Vic...Miss Kensington...what on earth are you doing here? There's a storm outside and the government told everyone to sta...

- I don't care! I needed to come here... I needed to know...why William? Why did you give him money to send me away? Was I not a good employee? Did Alice not like me in any way?

- Damn that boy! I told him not to tell you!

- Why not? Did I not deserve to know? It was the first thing he said when he came to my door you know... totally drunk and disheveled...he was laughing while telling me his "old idiot commander" had given him a lot of money to marry me and that he might give more if I asked because he "seemed to fancy me".

William's cheeks burned bright. Damn it all!!!

- I... Victoria... I...just thought I was doing the right thing for you. I thought you wanted him back...

- Let me ask you this William...apart from that first time I mentioned him...did I ever spoke of him again?

- No but...

- Did I ever suggested I was looking for a husband? Did I ever spoke of loneliness?

William kept his head down. Shame creeping up on him.

-No you didn't.

- He told me everything, you know...

At this William finally looked up at her. Waiting.

-He told me what happened that day. The boys ran to the mines and you couldn't stop them. That's the reason why you have nightmares, isn't it?

He couldn't look at her anymore. He sat down on the couch and hid his face in his hands.

-It's true Victoria. It's all true. I couldn't save them. I am a cold hearted failure. How can I call myself a commander if I can't even control my own men? And for that I am deeply sorry to you. I am the cause of your misfortunes. If I had stopped Albert I could avoid him being lost and he could have returned to you sooner. I am so so sorry!

He felt her hand brushing his hair. It was such a sweet gesture that tears came easily down his eyes.

-It wasn't your fault. He ran on his own accord and the others that followed him did it in their own free will. You did everything you could and you must never be ashamed of that.

Her eyes shone with her own tears.

-William...I left him...I throwed him out and told him to never come back. He wasn't the boy I remembered...the war changed him...but it did not change you. You are not cold hearted. You are kind and loving and you always did your best for others. Even for me...a total stranger.

-You are no stranger.

He weakly replied.

-I am... although I never felt like one here. William...when I first met you and you offered me a job...I felt so relieved that something was finally going right for me for once after the war...and you gave me an opportunity to be useful in a time when my only skills are no longer important...I thought I didn't need anyone and could take care of myself...and then I got to know Alice..and I got to know you...at first I thought you were the true friend I never had...but now I feel...I know...that you're the only companion I could ever desire.

-I am so old Victoria. You deserve far better than an old bag of bones with a regretful past...

- You are not old! But...I am young and I know nothing of being a good wife...and I know that I'm not as pretty as Alice's mother but if you give me a ch...

He silenced her with his mouth. His passion robbed her of breath. He moved her face to deepen the kiss. His tongue rolling with hers in waves and making her moan. He hugged her tightly and warmed her inside and out. Her drenched clothes wetting his. He spoke when they finally stopped for air.

- Victoria...you are the most perfect being I have ever seen...you are smart, funny, incredibly beautiful and strong minded...and everyday I thank whoever god brought you to my life. I've never felt for anyone what I feel for you...you must believe that...the only reason I searched for Albert was because I thought you hated me after that kiss...and I wanted to make amends...I wanted you in my life and in Alice's in any way...

- And I thought YOU hated ME! I thought you might think I was taking advantage of you and your money.

They were both laughing at their awkwardness.

-But Victoria...what will you do now? Will you stay?

-Do you want me t...

Another kiss, quicker than the last but not less passionate.

-Yes! There's nothing I want more in the world than you to allow me to love you.... will you marry me?

Her face shone with happiness.

-Yes William Lamb I will marry you...but first...i fear i must ask you something very unladylike...I can't wait until marriage my love...I want to be completely yours... starting now...

She always knew how to surprise him. He gave her a knowing smirk, took her by the hand and guided her quietly to his bedroom to not wake Alice up. When they entered the room she reached around, closed the door and locked them both inside. It was the first time a sound of a closing door brought happiness to him.

THE END

#jenna coleman #rufus sewell #vicbourne fanfiction #colemansdimplefic #lordmforever #victoria #tumblr fic #vicbourne #when-one-door-closes

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tinamaetales · 1 year

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The Odds Are Never in Our Favor

“There's no morning glory, it was war, it wasn't fair” – Taylor Swift, The Great War

It is very rare for me to rewatch a show or movie unless I consider it an all-time favorite. Most of the time if I like something, I will just watch some clips, high lights, or my favorite scenes but I do not really watch the entire show again. However, these days I just cannot find myself the energy to watch a new series or movie; I feel like I am not ready to introduce myself to new characters and new “worlds.” Most of the shows or movies that I started watching, I ended up dropping after a few episodes. For movies, lately I have been finding myself browsing through twitter or tiktok after about 20 to 30 minutes into the movie. I just do not have the energy and I do not know why. Then suddenly, my tiktok fyp was filled with Hunger Games content. At first, I got curious as to why it is trending again then upon checking, I realized that all the four films are now available on Netflix and sometime this year a prequel will be released. And since I am familiar with this series, I decided to watch it again – all four movies.

I was 16 years old when the first Hunger Games movie was released. Since it was trending on social media, I decided to watch it with my friends. I have no background about the series, I did not even watch its trailer so I have no idea what to expect. And obviously, I have not read the books (until now, please do not hold it against me). At that time, I just view it as another dystopian genre film. I ended up liking it and I also watched the next three movies from the series. I liked the film but it did not really resonate with me. After I watched the last film, my thoughts were just this: It sucks that it happened to them but at least it made them stronger and now they are free. Looking back, I realized how tone deaf I was. But then for someone as young and naïve as me during those times, I feel like I should forgive my younger self for not having the kind of empathy I should have, right? I was 16 when I watched the first film and I was 19 when I watched the final film of the series (basically the same ages as Katniss when she volunteered as tribute and when the war was over) and back then I do not have the same knowledge and life experiences that I have now. I guess it is true when they said that people change because I did change and it is because I have been through so much from the last 8 years that my perspective in life and me in general have changed drastically. And after watching the Hunger Games series again, I have found a new appreciation for it….and has, in some way, installed a different sense of fear in me.

Art imitates life. Life imitates art.

There was a phrase I came across online (I cannot remember where I read it, though) that says “Remember kids, the next time somebody tells you ‘The government would not do that’ oh yes, they would” and I cannot help but associate it with The Hunger Games. The plot of the Hunger Games can be summarized this way: the government uses violence to instill fear so they can control the people. In this series, a country called Panem has 12 districts and they are being governed by the Capitol. As a way of punishing the people from the rebellion that happened years ago, they have this survival game called “The Hunger Games” in which each district must offer a boy and a girl, called as tribute, to represent their district. In the Hunger Games, the tributes must fight each other to death as there is only one winner or “victor” And while the idea itself is already horrendous, one will be shocked with the way people from the Capitol find it entertaining. For the people in the Capitol, the Hunger Games is not a brutal way of having kids from each district fight each other to death but a reality game show held every year for their entertainment. It seems like for them, the Hunger Games is a normal part of their lives. It is entertaining because they are not the victims. It is entertaining because they are the spectators and the children involved are meant to provide them entertainment. It feels like it is a sporting event wherein the audience does not care if the athletes get hurt because it is part of “their job” And while the idea of Hunger Games seem to be only possible in the fictional world, I cannot help but think how in some ways it could happen…. or it already happened?

In school, history is my favorite subject. As a young kid in school, I treated history as an interesting subject but I never really immersed myself with the moral lessons we can learn from the events from the past. I find the stories of people from the past interesting but I lack the empathy to fully understand how these events have changed the course of the world. And now as a young adult, reading history books would often give me the feeling of discomfort like there is something sharp stuck in my chest. Really crazy how life can make you experience the worst just so you can have the character development you desperately need. But the thing is, I am not the only one who acted like this. In fact, there are a lot of people who do not even find studying history interesting. It is not easy to keep on looking back when you have the present to live and conquer, right? Yet, if we do not look back and learn from the mistakes of the past then the cycle would not end. Like what the famous Filipino historian, Ambeth Ocampo, said: History does not repeat itself, it is we who repeat it and such words are true. One could argue that the Hunger Games is impossible in real life but there are a lot of events from the past that already proved otherwise. Remember the Gladiators? During those times in the Roman Empire, people called as the gladiators (most of them are slaves or criminals) are put into the Colosseum to fight each other to death just like in The Hunger Games wherein tributes were put in one location so they can fight each other to death and all these battles are happening while the rich people watch as if it was an entertainment show, totally ignoring that people are dying for their entertainment. In the present time, maybe we can say that the possibility of the Hunger Games is impossible but is it really? Does it really have to be a direct copy of what was written in the books for us to realize how close we are to becoming like Panem? I do not think so.

I can remember how people, especially from my own country, would advocate for the reinstatement of the death penalty so that people would be afraid to commit crimes. While there is a part of me that understands where they are coming from, I must disagree with them. I disagree because I am aware of how crooked the justice system in my country is; justice is reserved for the rich and the privileged and in the end, the poor and the marginalized are the ones who will suffer. When most of my fellow countrymen seemed unbothered by the war on drugs, it was the time I realized how easy it is for people to advocate for something, let us say violence, when they are not the ones affected by it. I find it disgusting that instead of proper judicial procedure, the authorities have resorted to killing the people who they suspect to be drug dealers/ drug users. I find it disgusting that instead of addressing the problem of addiction, killing is the solution they imposed. What happened to rehabilitation? What happened to giving everyone an equal opportunity to defend themselves in court? Another example I can think of is when the innocent civilians, especially the women and children, suffered the most when the US invaded Iraq as a response to what happened on 9/11. I truly understand the sentiment for revenge as many people have died during 9/11 but I feel like the actions following it were not moral at all. Yes, people have died during 9/11 and they deserve justice but does it have to be in the way it was handled? It somehow mirrors what President Coin wanted after they had won against President Snow and the Capitol, to hold a symbolic Hunger Games featuring the children of the capitol. I just find it appalling and disgusting to let the innocent suffer in the war orchestrated by the oppressors.

The gray area

The first time I watched the Hunger Games series, I liked Gale because he was the “best friend” of Katniss. I liked him because he was someone she can rely on especially when she went to compete at the Hunger Games and Gale was the one who provided for Katniss’ family. But as the series progressed, I knew that it has always been Peeta and Katniss. And even though I liked the best friend guy, I am team Peeta. Peeta is just the man, you know? He is THE standard.

As I mentioned, it was tiktok that made me become interested in rewatching the series. But what intrigued me is the amount of people on the app who hate Gale. Sometimes I feel like they hate Gale more than Snow and Coin and I do not like that. So here is my opinion about Gale Hawthorne:

Not everything should be taken into black and white. There are what we call the gray areas and that is what I think Gale belongs to. We know that in every story there are the heroes and the villains. The heroes are the good ones while the villains are the bad ones. But what about those in between? English is not my mother language so forgive me if I am not using the word anti-hero properly but that is how I would like to describe Gale even though he is a supporting character in the series and not a main one. You see, Gale is also from district 12 and has been a close friend of Katniss for years. I guess they grew up together and the hardship they endured in living in district 12 is what bonded them. What most people forget is Gale is a kid too, just like Katniss and Peeta. And while we can all argue about how at least Katniss and Peeta turned out good despite everything they have been through, I believe that Gale should also be given the same amount of empathy. He was a victim of the system too. And, we all have different ways to respond in similar situations. Gale might not have experienced the traumatic hunger games like the protagonists but he also experiences something traumatizing. I mean, district 12 was bombed and wiped out by the Capitol, it was his home! He saw the evil ways of the Capitol with his own eyes and while he was not able to save everyone, he did try his best to save as many as he could. What he experienced at the hands of the Capitol is something that should not be taken lightly. Like I said, he was also just a kid. All he wanted is for his loved ones to survive and for the rebellion to succeed because only in ending the tyrannical rule of President Snow can we see the end of the years of suffering of the oppressed. And when you are at war, there really is no distinction between the sinners and the saints, right? For people like Gale, they must do whatever it takes just to make sure that they succeed by all means possible. In war, there really are no real winners, everyone loses. Just like what Taylor Swift said, “There's no morning glory, it was war, it wasn't fair” But let me also point out that I am in no way justifying the killings during war, what I am just trying to point out is that why are we so pressed to put the blame on Gale when it was President Coin who ordered the bombings? Gale was a kid who got entangled in a war against the oppressors and in his mind, the end justifies the means and who taught him that? It was the system of the Hunger Games brought by the Capitol. So why are we so hard on a kid whose mindset was a result of the years of oppression and fighting back by whatever means necessary is the only way he knows how? If we can extend a little amount of sympathy for some villains, why can’t we do the same for “anti-heroes” like Gale? He was a victim too.

If we are so eager to put all the blame on Gale, then what about the career tributes? For the career tributes, killing is just part of the games because they were conditioned to that kind of mindset. They were even trained at special academies to ensure that their districts will always win the games. The career tributes sort of reminded me of the young men, mostly those who just turned 18, who were drafted to fight in the war. Or I guess the closer example I could think of was the Hitler Youth wherein they “brainwashed” the children into the ideology they wanted to instill and, in this way, they were able to gain a strong control of the youth who will all eventually become soldiers during World War II. Looking back, we could see that the establishment of the Hitler Youth was effective in recruiting young people into believing the same sick ideology of Hitler. Their young minds were indoctrinated with the Nazi philosophy. It was scary to think how tyrants would take advantage of the young minds to further their oppressive agenda. After all, a person who was conditioned in a certain belief at such a young age is easier to control. Just like the careers, they were raised to believe in a romanticized version of violence and killing is just part of the game. It was as if they were taught that the life of others, those who are different from them, are cheap.

At the end of the day, the careers and people like Gale were all just victims of the system. I do not think it is right to put all the blame on them. These are kids who were indoctrinated with a romanticized version of survival which involves violence. So, if we are so keen in hating them for the decisions they make, then it is just proof that the oppressors’ ways are effective because instead of blaming them, we blame the youth. I did not like how some people would say “Yes, the kids were victims of the system but it was their decision to volunteer at the games….it was their decision to kill others…” No, it was not really the case. People who were conditioned in a “cult-like” mentality lack the rationality to know whether something was good or not. As I keep on mentioning, they were raised in a different kind of mentality and they were exposed in an environment that romanticizes the use of violence. Just like what Haymitch said, “Remember who the real enemy is” And it was President Snow. It was never the youth.

If we burn, you burn with us

The Capitol’s stronghold of the districts was effective because they used the divide and conquer strategy. They made the districts become each other’s enemies through the hunger games so they have become divided instead of united in fighting the real enemy - President Snow. Moreover, the exploitation of people’s fear became an advantage for the Capitol. They have instilled in the people’s mind that disobedience would result in brutal punishment; the Capitol depended on using violence as a tool to make people obey them. It is not just a division of the citizens through the districts but also a division between the people in the Capitol and the people from the districts. Capitol citizens live inside a “bubble” where they find the hunger games entertaining. Of course, one will not see a problem about something that does not affect them. What I find surprising about the people from the Capitol is how they reacted angrily and even wanted to cancel the games when Peeta announced that Katniss is “pregnant” because suddenly they find the games brutal…..suddenly, they care about the innocent baby that can die during the games….suddenly, they care about life. They started caring when an unborn fetus is involved and not when the government is putting 24 children in an arena to fight each other to death. Sounds familiar, right?

It is the divisiveness of the citizens that allows oppression to thrive but once they wake up and decide enough is enough, they can become a force to reckon with. In every revolution, I would like to believe that there are people who are already wanting to break free from the oppressive rule but they just needed a certain spark or a symbol that can inspire them to unite and fight together, the people of Panem found it in Katniss.

While brainstorming over how I can discuss Katniss’ Mockingjay in this blog post, I suddenly remembered my own country’s version of it through Jose Rizal and Andres Bonifacio. My country was under Spanish rule for more than 300 years and suffered greatly. My own people were treated like slaves in our own country. There have been attempts or acts of resistance but they were not as big, as organized, and as influential as the Katipunan founded by Andres Bonifacio. And what led to it? Books. Jose Rizal wrote two novels reflecting the Filipino society of his time, Noli Me Tangere and El Filibusterismo. Those books are said to have inspired Bonifacio to create the Katipunan. And it was the Katipunan that helped the nation to find its voice and fight for its freedom. The act of resistance led by Bonifacio started when they, Katipunan members, tore their cedulas in the infamous cry of Pugad Lawin. This became the first steps towards the fight for freedom.

The road towards the revolution with the Mockingjay as its main driving symbol was a small unconscious act of defiance that awakened the people of Panem. At first, I thought it was when Katniss and Peeta decided to eat the night berries at the same time so that there would be no winner at the 74th Hunger Games which sent Seneca into panic and just announced that they are the winners but then it was not it. The small unconscious act of defiance happened when Katniss laid down Rue’s body after she was killed and surrounded it with flowers because that one simple gesture from her showed empathy. That gesture showed how people from different districts should not see each other as enemies because they are all victims of oppression. And with Katniss showing that she has empathy for Rue, it awakened the hearts of the people of Panem. After the Hunger Games, people from different districts started to show their own ways of defying the capitol especially with painting the Mockingjay symbol in public areas. Those events made President Snow act towards removing the symbol of hope, Katniss, but not in an obvious way since she has become a favorite in the Capitol; Snow decided that for the quarter quell, they will choose the tributes from the pool of victors in each district and in this way, he secured Katniss’ death as she is the only female victor from district 12. But I guess he overestimated Katniss and underestimated the other victors. You see, Katniss never wanted to be the Mockingjay or the symbol of the revolution; she just wanted to keep her loved ones safe. But in sending all the previous victors into the 75th Hunger Games, it awakened the others. When they held hands after the interviews, it showed how when the oppressed unite and fight back together, they can end oppression. Pretty ironic because it was Snow who said, “Hope. It is the only thing stronger than fear. A little hope is effective. A lot of hope is dangerous” and it was that hope that ignited the fire in the people to fight back. It is when the people realize their strength through being united that allows them to shake the system.

And like any tyrant, President Snow resorted to double up the violence and manipulate the people more through using the media to further his propaganda. When he felt like the people were getting stronger, he inclined towards using more violence. He keeps on preaching about law and order and how the people, or as he called them the rebels, are the “bad ones” because they instigate chaos. And when it comes down to the final “showdown” between the hero and the villain, Katniss ends up shooting Coin instead of Snow. But Snow was killed by the mob. I find it symbolic and justified. Katniss as the Mockingjay ensures that as the Snow regime falls, someone else’s rise to power, Coin, will be prevented. The revolution won not just with Snow’s downfall but also with the prevention of another tyrant on the rise to power. By removing Snow and Coin in the picture, a true new chapter for Panem is guaranteed. The people won but their way towards victory was paid for by the blood of those who died and it is now up to them, it is now in their hands to make sure that the blood that was shed will not be wasted. In the end, Katniss acted on Coin’s words “May her arrow signify the end of tyranny and the beginning of a new era.” Because it truly was a beginning of a new era for Panem.

No winners, just survivors

What makes Katniss different from the other protagonists/heroes is that she was never the “chosen one” She was more of a hero by coincidence and by the people’s choice. All she wanted was to keep her sister safe; she never really imagined that in showing empathy for Rue, and defying the rules of the game (night berries) would lead her towards becoming the Mockingjay. Katniss is an underdog story. She was never the special kind. She was never the “best” among her fellow tributes. In fact, the careers are even highly skilled compared to her. She was not the “chosen one” because of destiny but because people chose her to be. They find a certain kind of awakening and relevance with her which makes the Mockingjay symbol become effective. Even in the climactic battle in the Capitol, she was not the one who win it all for them. Bombs exploded twice and then the next thing we see is the people have won against the Capitol and Snow was captured and is now just waiting for his execution. Katniss may have shot an arrow to Coin to prevent another tyrant on the rise but that was it. After all the chaos, Katniss went back to district 12 alone. And by being alone in district 12, she finally got the chance to face the aftermath of everything that happened to her since she volunteered for the 74th Hunger Games. And her dealing with trauma was heartbreaking to watch. This is what sets Katniss and the Hunger Games series apart from the other stories of the same genre. It was not a happy ever after type of ending. It was realistic. Painful yet truthful.

The series have taught me that war is nothing but destructions. There is no reason to sugarcoat the victory of the good ones against the bad ones because in war, there are really no winners, just survivors. And most of the survivors must live the rest of their life dealing with trauma and sometimes, guilt. Katniss described it best when she told her child “Did you had a nightmare? I have nightmares too. Someday, I’ll explain it to you, why they came, why they will never go away. But I’ll tell you how I survive it. I make a list in my head, of all the good things I have seen someone do, every little thing I can remember. It is like a game and I do it over and over. It gets a little tedious after all these years but… there are much worse games to play…” because these words are an accurate representation of how some wounds can never fully heal. Yes, there are better days but the pain will always be there; sometimes, we just have to accept how to live with pain. Years have passed and Katniss was able to build a family of her own with Peeta but the scars from the past will always be there. And you know what makes this truly heartbreaking? Both Katniss and Peeta were just teenagers when it all started. They were just kids who ended up scarred for life. Now, I can’t help but think about all of the children in war zones having to live this kind of reality. While for some of us the war is just a part of the history or something that we read about in fiction books or watch in movies and series, for others it is their reality. It is frustrating and heartbreaking to know that the kind of atrocities shown in the movies and in the books are happening in real life.

TinaMae

PS, I never expected this to be this long but somehow, I feel like I still did not fully discuss everything about the Hunger Games series. Maybe I’ll write a part 2 of this someday (but I will focus on other characters like Effie, Haymitch, Finnick...)

#personal #tina mae tales #hunger games #catching fire #mockingjay #katniss everdeen #peeta mellark

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solitaireships · 5 months

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okok two things i wanted to ask:

have you ever thought of an au where all your fos are put together in one big au? :0 i've sorta seen some modern aus around here and there where people do it so i'm curious if you've ever done that before!

i'm curious: how different is the role swap au to the actual canon between shepard and hoffman? does it all play the same in the end? different? (@eveningshards)

Hey Haze!

I haven't really thought of something like that tbh! I've been asked a couple of times on twitter about how I think James and Bruce would interact if they met each other, and tbh that's always something I've struggled to kind of think of, like I for some reason just cannot imagine characters from different media interacting with each other i say like i haven't written a ship fic for james and miguel. Like it seems cool in theory, but idk if it's something I'd be ever able to come up with ideas for

With the role swap for Shepard and Hoffman, in some ways it follows canon fairly closely, but in other's it's different. Namely bcs Shepard is not as brutal as Hoffman is, even when she's a serial killer. She would be very committed to the ideology behind Jigsaw, and that means that every test she makes is a legitimate test where it's hard to pass, but still possible to. This means there's no reason for John to basically put in his will to kill her if she gets out of hand the way he did for Hoffman, and it also means that the events of S.aw 3D would be very different from how they were. Maybe that means that movie would actually be good lol

But I do think that in the end, she would end up being in trouble with the law. Not bcs Jill tells the police tho, instead it would be because one of the people who managed to survive her traps ended up figuring out who she was. That or Perez didn't get killed during the equivalent of the scene where Hoffman's exposed, idk for sure since this is still a very undeveloped au like all of mine are lol

Either way, she ends up having to go into hiding, and that's how she meets Hoffman, paralleling how she ends up meeting him when there's an active manhunt for him within their canon. It's probably slightly lower stakes than her saving him tho considering she never gets locked away in the bathroom like Hoffman does bcs of the aforementioned not having her murder be part of John's will

But from there, things are pretty similar to the standard Shepard and Hoffman dynamic, just flipping things around to match with their differing roles of serial killer vs "I can fix them". But also Hoffman has more "damn she's a serial killer. Kinda hot. If she kills again then I guess I support women's wrongs" vibes bcs he can be inclined towards evil as a treat

#haze #asks #thank you for the questions!#the idea of all my f/os knowing each other would be interesting #but also idk how any of them would interact with each other #i barely know how they would interact with me lol #like it seems fun but i am scared bcs i am obsessed with always having correct characterization #and i don't want to be wrong about how i write them and then have someone make fun of me or be upset with me #and i feel like the odds of fucking up are higher with all of them there #🧩 missing piece #🧩#🧩 role swap 🗝️#🗝️ shepard

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dumbestthingiveeverheard · 9 months

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Dumbest Thing I've Ever Heard: 8/3/2023

Fifth place: Twitter user @eyeskewer

This is a little older than the stuff I normally cover on this blog, but I feel like this is worth highlighting as it perfectly shows my issue when many who make conspiratorial claims about transgender medical care:

my "informed consent" was my doctor I had just met handing me papers telling me my voice would drop soon, I could freeze my eggs, I might get acne, and whatever else. I probably didn't even hear everything she said, I just told her I wanted the shot. so I got it. I just turned 18

So you were told you wanted something medical done to you, were told about the risks and consequences, and then got it. I really don't see what the big deal is here.

Fourth Place: Marco Rubio

Elon Musk's time as CEO of Twitter has been far from perfect, but easily the best addition he has made is the community notes feature. For just one example, here is a Tweet from Marco Rubio:

Also, those claims about the 2016 Presidential Election were never proven to be fake--just wanted to add that real quick.

Third Place: Scott Lively

The deranged homophobe who wrote an entire book blaming the Nazis on homosexuality wrote a column a couple of days back with the headline "Leftist lawfare and the abuse of power." A decent chunk of it is spent defending Russian President Vladimir Putin, but here are some highlights:

In all my years of watching corporate U.S. news about Russia and Putin, I have never seen a single counter-argument ever being offered in defense of President Putin (coverage of him is even worse than that of Trump). It's been more than a decade since Obama restarted the Cold War to punish the Russians for banning "gay" propaganda to children, when every story began to paint him as a "brutal monster" – to the point that even many conservatives (who have zero reason to trust that same media on anything) seem to agree.

The hatred of Putin on an international scale has nothing to do with the anti-homosexuality laws he has put in place while President of Russia--although, don't get me wrong, that didn't help matters, but several countries with anti-homosexuality laws are still seen in a positive light by the international community (wrongfully so, in my opinion). It was more his imperial ambitions--starting with his invasion of Georgia in 2008--that caused the international community to move away from him.

Second Place: Abby Johnson

I've mostly been ignoring the story about a handful of far-right Christians refusing to support the fringe Presidential candidate Vivek Ramaswamy because of his Hinduism, however given Abby Johnson was sold to us a few years back as a a reasonable anti-abortion activist--an oxymoron if I've ever heard one. And she has decided to take a stance against a Hindu President, saying:

Do not be a victim of Satan’s confusion right now. This is an important time for us to have clarity of mind as we are going into an election cycle. So please discern. Please use discernment right now because God hates those who are willing to put up idols over him, and he will not be mocked.

All I wish to say is that if you really want a President that's a dedicated Christian--can I recommend you a guy named Joe Biden? Oh who am I kidding, if Ramaswamy does get the nomination it's going to be just like when Billy Graham took Mormonism off his list of cults so he and his followers could vote for Mitt Romney in 2012.

Winner: Ben Shapiro

This man, considered by many to be serious political commentator, does not know the difference between eating and drinking:

[Trump] would face a whopping 641 years in prison. Which I assume means he would not survive prison. Although he is 70% preservatives at this point because he eats so much McDonalds and Diet Coke.

He eats Diet Coke? Ben, do you know how Diet Coke works?

Ben Shapiro you've said the dumbest thing I've ever heard.

#eyeskewer #marco rubio #scott lively #abby johnson #ben shapiro

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getouuu · 10 months

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Times I cried about jjk

-actually early stsg hc got to me until ppl dramatized it but art of them makes me emotional like good goddd the amount of pics i have of me crying LOL

-the twins saying how much they love suguru and having to watch their father body be used and somewhat forgiving gojo for killing geto. They just wanted his body back and bring peace to themselves

-the kfc moment didn’t make me cry emotionally but I rmbr washing dishes in tears laughing too much about it cause it went around on Twitter for hours

-frustrated at the fact suguru and gojo went through in hell in highschool cause it’s already hellish

-yuujis words to an old classmate was very touching to my heart….

-nobara would have been such a great character in later arcs, but i think even gege realized they choose the wrong character to kill off

-kenjaku being a comical villain that reminds you of a main character, loves to breed, only sexy people he wants to be in (in both ways if you know what I mean) probably a dom and Jin died from being uh…milked too much

-megumi crushing through walls like the fuck did he survive thaaaaat????????the anime had him flying like I know toji looked away scratching his head in hell

-when of the twins took a picture mid death it had me crying horribly and laughing cause damn it’s always that damn phone huh I bet geto always scold her for it

-I made myself laugh thinking how shoko scared of flirty men cause she talks about her job ..Hannibal style

-gojo and geto are bottoms and they never fucked that’s the appeal for me

-utahime lost most of her kids and been dragged for it for how long

-when someone said to get over junpeis death because he’s rolled up in purple ball and being slammed dunk by curses like what is wrong with you $;&/$(&/&;?!

-jjk 0 movie tweets had me bawling like i rmbr telling my friend that I am fighting for my life mentally and to be gentle with me in theaters

-I prayed reallly hard for naoya to face a horrible death but I thought he got laid off too easily but gege heard me!! He was a flying cunt curse

-Mai’s death that is all

-nanamis death felt like a cool uncle died and I understand what miles felt. Like that death was brutal and that’s one part I’m not to keen on seeing animated cause it took months to get over.

-shoko anguish in silence but her smile made cry in the recent chapters so all is well.

-riko

#jjk

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doctor-octiddius · 2 years

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I made a twitter thread where I rambled about Jonas Nyebern and now I'm kinda copy pasting the whole thing here plus adding some more text as well because I am crying

Basically I just have so many questions about him. I want to know him like I know myself. I want to know every single little detail possible since pretty much all we know is that he suffered through two similar traumas twice in his life, once when he was seven and once when he was near fifty. But what happened between those years?

What was his childhood like before? Was he close with his brother? His mother? I don't even want to think about his father, actually. What was his relationship with his sister who survived? Were they close before? Were they close after? Because she never is mentioned any other time, did they lose touch after a while? Is she even alive during the events of the book? How old even was she? Did they grow up with another relative? Or were they put into an orphanage? How was the rest of their childhood even like?

How severe were Jonas and his sister's injuries? Because it's said that they were wounded? Who helped them? Someone must've heard the shots and notified the authorities? What happened afterwards? I mean, such a brutal event would be front page news, at least in some town, but idk maybe not in a big city? So how many people even heard of it? Did other people try to help them?

What was Jonas like as a teenager? What were his college years like? What were his interests and hobbies? How was he treated in school? Was he just known as the kid whose family was murdered? Or did no one know of it? Did he even have any friends? Because honestly I feel like he lived a really fucking lonely life. He was already shy in general plus definitely has PTSD (and I headcanon him as autistic because I make the rules) and probably no way to cope. Did he even get therapy or something afterwards? Or did he literally have to live alone with everything that had happened. Did he even know any healthy ways to grieve and cope? Did he have anyone there with him?

Did the whole resuscitation obsession start right then and there when he was seven? Or did he learn that that was even an option later on in life? What was his reaction when he found out he could study medicine and help people?

HOW DID HE MEET HIS WIFE!!! I NEED TO KNOW!!! WHO EVEN WAS SHE EXACTLY!!! How did they start their family? How was their family life in the early stages?

I just uhhghghhh, I love him so much...

#back at it again with crying over jonas #i really thought this hyperfixation was fading away but i was so wrong #alfred molina #hideaway #jonas nyebern

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timeandspacenovelist · 2 years

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"Solloinia"

Summary : A newly regenerated Doctor and Yaz find themselves in the midst of a conflict that requires the Doctor to be in tip top shape, not what you want after a regeneration...

Rating : G

Chapter : 1/6

Cover photo by @colemansdimple on Twitter. You can also read this on :

Archive of Our Own

It’s funny. Regeneration is something learned on day one of the Academy. The do’s, the don’ts. The how and the why and so much more. But what they don’t tell you enough, the thing they always hide from you, is how much it absolutely hurts. Every cell in your body changing at a rate that is imperceivable for any other person to assess. Sure, the pain you experience to get to the point of regeneration can be brutal, but the actual regeneration itself is even more painful. Of course, you can always block out the pain. You learn to shut yourself off for the few seconds it takes for everything to change and all you have to do is get a quick jolt and it’s all over. But like with anything you can turn off, you can also leave it on.

You can let the pain sear through you and watch yourself changing. Let the pain drive through you like a hot knife through butter. It’s obviously not advised and can certainly leave you exhausted afterwards. But there’s been stories of Timelords who, with enough focus, can channel all that pain into something. That with enough attention on one specific thing, the pain can be fought through and reduced. It can be a pet, a family member, a best friend… or something even more than that…

The Doctor looked at Yaz, shielding her face from the bright lights of the regeneration energy. It wasn’t supposed to end like this. They did it, didn’t they? The Master, the Cybermen? Defeated. Tegan, Ace, Osgood, Kate? Saved and returned to their homes. Dan? It was unfortunate, but they let him go back home to be with Di. But she couldn’t blame him. She knew what it was like to be in love and it all felt like that was coming to a head. She was going to tell her how she felt, truly. She had her plans to do it and everything. And why shouldn’t she? After what she thought was surviving her biggest threat yet, why shouldn’t she get a chance to do this?

For so long, she’d been scared. Scared of what she thought was inevitable.

Yaz, I can’t fix myself to anything, anywhere or anyone. I’ve never been able to. That’s what my life is. Not because I don’t want to, because I might. But if I do fix myself to somebody I know, sooner or later, it’ll hurt.

And yet, she still persevered through it. Why hide it anymore? What would be the point? She had been so scared to admit it to herself after the fight with the Daleks on New Year’s Day, but it was obvious. She’d fallen for Yaz, and she knew through Dan that Yaz had done the same for her. But she had known her past, known what a life of loving someone did to her and them and so compartmentalized it. Only for it to basically come spilling out when they faced the Sea Devils. She never explicitly said it, but wishing “this would go on forever” was as close as she ever felt she’d get.

With Time’s warning, she expected this was to be her final fight, even though there was a part of her that hoped it wasn’t. So she fought like it was her last stand, putting everything into her effort to stop the forces that massed against her. But she had survived, getting everyone safe and making sure the evil was defeated. In her mind, the universe had given her another miracle, a second chance. She was still her. So why not finally take the chance that she had wanted to for so long?

But there was a wayward shot from a Cyberman that she shoved out Ace of the way to save her from. But she thought she escaped it. There was pain, yes, but not enough to hurt her badly. But she was mistaken, gravely mistaken. Before she could take Yaz into the Tardis, she doubled over in pain and once she saw her hands glowing that recognizable golden glow; she knew that it had all finally caught up to her. ______________________________________________________________

She could feel it. Every cell in her body shifting and randomizing, trying to find some kind of new version. Any second now, they were coming. The new Doctor. But she didn’t want that. Not yet. Just a few more minutes, just to tell Yaz how she felt as who she is now, or who she was in a few more seconds. Her beautiful Yaz. She tried to grab onto her to help, but she pushed her back. She had no idea what the energy during a regeneration could do to someone, and she had no intention of finding out now. She could see the tears beginning to stream on her face, but she could do nothing to help.

Nearly any second now, she could feel it. Yes, she was dying. But she had a plan. Not dying! Except that involved changing who she had been for the past few decades of life. She was rather fond of this face too. She enjoyed being blonde again. But times changed, and so did she. She’d helped so many people and done so many things, but she still had so much more to do. And maybe she would, and maybe with Yaz, but not like this. Everyone she had met and traveled with, were all brilliant. Absolutely brilliant. But do you know what? So was she.

Here it came. She let it all hit her and let out an almighty scream in the process.

13’s time is done, 14’s on their way… ______________________________________________________________

Yaz’s tears showed the pain of having to stay put, stay away from the screams of pain from the woman you loved. But the Doctor all the way to the end, protected her. It only hurt so much that she couldn’t do the same.

But the light was now gone and she could go over and help her, but she still kept cautious. The first thing she saw once her eyes were uncovered was the brown hair that now sat upon the head of the Doctor.

She was face down in the grass, thankfully still breathing, but it seemed like she was conserving energy. As much as she wanted to let her rest, she couldn’t have her staying there and so she picked her up, and put her arm around her as she essentially dragged her inside the Tardis. Thankfully, the ship had prepared their mattress for this eventuality; she supposed. She gently rested her down on it and gave her a bit of space, but still kept her eye on her.

If you’d told her a few years ago, that she’d be resting an alien who’d just changed her entire body onto a mattress into a ship that time travels, she’d have asked what comic they were writing, but here she was. But then it became something bigger than she ever thought. How did you explain to someone that you fell in love with an alien? Most people think that they’re still little green men, but she was far beyond that. The Doctor was stubborn, annoying and secretive to a fault. But she was also kind, caring, loving and protects all those she loves with so much heart. Dan would have told her that the Doctor had the most heart for her, but she didn’t believe it until that day on the beach. She’d only wished she’d said what she truly felt before this happened.

And what had happened, involved her feeling the weirdest sensation she could think of, seeing what she saw. The Doctor had told her about regeneration and what it meant, but to see it in person was something else entirely.

She’d definitely shrunk, looking much smaller than her previous self, maybe even smaller than she was, her clothes looking too big for her. She was also still a woman, something she didn’t know how the Doctor would react to, but she was still good with it. Her entire face had changed, unrecognizable to what she once was, topped off with her now brown eyes. At least they had that in common now.

Yaz could then see her shivering slightly, unsure if it was because of the change or the cold weather they just came out from. So she quickly went for a blanket and put it over her. It seemed to quell it a bit, but the Doctor wasn’t completely settled. So she took a cue from her. Ignoring any kind of worry she currently had, she bent down and kissed her on the forehead, her lips lingering there for a second or two longer. As if it was meant to be, the Doctor calmed down and seemed at peace, and gained a tiny smile upon her face. Deep down, she knew who did it, Yaz thought. And that was fine, because she knew she’d do the same for her. But she could do nothing else right now but wait and let her sleep. For however long she needed, Yaz would be at her side, checking up on her. It’s the least she could do for giving her a new life, so protecting the Doctor’s own was the priority… ______________________________________________________________

“Ah!”

The Doctor awoke with a start, as she began to breathe heavily. She’d had the most awful dream. That she’d just regenerated despite not being ready yet. It was terrible, and she’d really rather not have that dream again. She rubbed her eyes sleepily before realizing that…. these weren’t her hands. She reached back and grabbed a small piece of her hair before realizing… that wasn’t her hair. She began to jump off of the mattress before seeing what was in front of her.

Yaz was soundly sleeping on a chair, tuckered out. She’d…. kept watch on her. Loyal to a fault, she was. But then again, she was the same. The two had become nearly inseparable since Graham and Ryan left, and would look after each other constantly. Yaz became the best friend she hadn’t had in so long, someone (in reason) she could talk to and about how she felt and how she was doing. The relationship only grew and grew until they reached where they were, at least before it all changed. But she couldn’t focus on that now. She had more poignant things to learn about.

She quietly got up off the mattress, sneaking around the chair as she went towards the bathroom. Every step seemed much more difficult than before. Was she… smaller? Must be why she didn’t feel like she fit in her clothes anymore. She got in and closed the door, locking it just to be sure. Then she arrived at the bathroom mirror…. ______________________________________________________________

She wasn’t bald at least. Good. Not that there was anything wrong with being bald. But she liked having hair. She gave it a good rub and tussle. It’s at least shoulder length, not too long, which was good. She didn’t really want long hair. It tended to get in the way. However, still not ginger! Brown again. But that’s ok, she liked brown hair.

Eyes, also brown. She opened them wide to test them and they looked huge! It’s like they inflated. It was so odd. Her face was now quite round, in all honesty. She poked her cheeks to find that she had dimples! She loved dimples! Made smiling fun. Mouth was smaller than before, but still good. As long as she could eat and talk, she was fine. She stepped back and took a full look at herself in the mirror.

Blimey, she was tiny! She’d shrunk a few inches, at least. She’d never been this short before. She was so much smaller in general. But maybe that was a good thing. Could make it easier to get into smaller places. All in all, not a bad change up. Though something was weird.

She had gotten the oddest sense of Déjà vu. Had she… seen this face before? It was certainly a unique face. She’d say that much. Maybe conventionally beautiful? That wasn’t up to her, anyway. But there was something nagging at her and she couldn’t put her finger on it. She’d been here before, of course, with that White Haired Scotsman, but this could easily just be a false alarm.

But yeah, this was a lot. But manageable. She felt a lot more in control this time. She was sure that the nap she seemed to have after the change must have helped. She never gets the chance to sleep properly after these things. That nap really did do her the world of good. Very comfy mattress. So, wide awake, fully refreshed, she did the only thing she could think of in this very moment. ______________________________________________________________

Yaz sleepily opened her eyes on a curious sight. Now, she remembered the Doctor sleeping on the mattress when she last saw her. Through all the action and all the problems they had to go through and fix very recently, she had fallen asleep herself, unable to keep her eyes open. But now she was awake, and now she saw the Doctor also on a chair, with a cup of tea, smiling at her. It was a bit of a jarring sight.

“Morning! How’d you sleep?” she said as she took a sip.

“Fine… You were asleep. Passed out.” Yaz confusedly tried to piece together.

“And I can’t thank you enough for that. Heavens knows what would have happened if I was alone during this… again.”

“Again?”

“Sigh. Been happening a lot recently. Usually inside here, actually. It’s… not the most fun.”

Her face shifted, though, to a more positive one as she gestured to a small table in front of Yaz with a tray.

“I brought a cup for you, if you needed it. Granted, I had no real idea when you’d be awake, but I took a gamble.”

She smiled and took the cup of tea. “Thanks.”

“So, what happens now?” .

“Don’t know. Never been this alert before after the regeneration. I usually end up finding myself in trouble before I get a chance to relax and let the change work.”

“You said you’ve done this?…” Yaz pondered.

“15 times.”

Yaz’s face was mildly shocked.

“And that’s all that I actually know of. Though, I can possibly say this is the first time I’ve been a woman and regenerated into a woman. So that’s fun!” she finished up with a grin that managed to make Yaz smile, too.

But she noticed another new change in the Doctor.

“Your accent.”

“What about it?”

“It’s different now.”

“Is it? Hadn’t noticed. Hmm. It always is a possibility to change. Everything does.”

She got up off her chair and began walking around, as she’s one to do whenever she’s in a mood like this.

“It’s the miracle of regeneration. Something that I’m responsible for, apparently. A chance to cheat death and live once again, but at the cost of changing who you are in the process.”

“So…you’re not like…the one before you?”

It felt weird calling her that, especially knowing how she felt about her. But she had to get used to the verbiage now.

“Don’t know yet. I might be. I’m still…me, down to my core,” she said as she pointed to herself, “But my personality, how I look, how I act. That may change.”

“Including how you feel about those closest to you?…” Yaz told her, her head drooping.

It was a valid question in her opinion. She’d seldom heard of the other people in the Doctor’s life that she met during the battle with the Master and the Cybermen. How could she feel confident she wasn’t to become another one like them and be forgotten? A piece of the Doctor’s history rather than her present.

The Doctor went over to her instantly and took her hands in her own, as weird as it was to have smaller ones than Yaz’s. She understood the hesitation and knew similar people in her lives who had this same worry.

“With you, never. You…you are my favorite person. If I didn’t have you, I’d have been lost a long time ago, trust me. I could never and will never change how I feel about you, Yasmin Khan. I promise.”

She placed a hand on Yaz’s cheek and gave her a warm smile, which seemed to cheer her up a bit. Their eyes locked for a few seconds, as Yaz’s face lightened up.

“We’ll be ok, won’t we Yaz?”

“Yeah, yeah, we will.” She responded, her smile returning.

Content with that, the Doctor sprang away and headed towards the console. They’d just defeated their toughest threat yet. Why shouldn’t they celebrate?

“So! Where to first? I was thinking about Barcelona. Not the city, Barcelona, the planet Barcelona. You’ll love it.”

“Fine by me!”

She set the coordinates and set the ship to go. But nothing seemed to happen. That was odd. She did it again and got the same response. But then she remembered something. Something she really wished she didn’t remember at this very moment.

“Yaz. Just a small question.”

“Yeah.”

“When I regenerated, did any of the energy hit the Tardis?”

“I think, just a bit, yeah.”

“Ah. Oh boy.”

“Doctor, what’s wron…”

Yaz couldn’t even complete the question as the pair both fell down as the Tardis shook violently. She could hear the ship loudly sounding like it was taking off. That was a good thing, right? The current shaking seemed to indicate that it very much wasn’t.

“Doctor! What’s going on?!”

“The Tardis doesn’t like when the regeneration energy hits her! She gets a bit…”

She slid across and bumped into Yaz.

“Stroppy.”

“Well, we’re going somewhere, aren’t we?”

“We are! But I don’t know whereeee!”

That was what she could say as the ship threw them forward again. They both managed to hold onto a railing they found and just kept hold until they landed and the worst would be over with. So much for a regeneration that she had control over….

#doctor who #ao3 #clara oswald #fanfic #yasmin khan #14th doctor #what if #canon divergent au

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xaracosmia · 3 months

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ꕥ — WELCOME TO MARE COSMIA, KALAN. 🌗

ꕥ — OOC INFORMATION;

name / alias: elodie / cori age: 25 pronouns: it / its + he / him + she / her ooc contact: witchmechanism @ twitter other characters in xc: angela ( lobotomy corporation ), henrietta warhol ( hello charlotte ), mahiru shiina ( milgram ), rei ( milgram )

ꕥ — IC INFORMATION;

name: kalan ( forest name: merja leskreta ) age: young for a viera… roughly 30 ~ 50? looks and acts 25-ish. pronouns: he / him for simplicity series: ffxiv (warrior of light; warrior) canon point: shadowbringers, freshly post-seat of sacrifice

app triggers: violence, implication of possible parental death

personality:

anyone can be a ‘warrior of light.’ all one needs is the will to help their fellow man, and the resolve to see it through… or, so was once said. a title ill-fitting or even out of place, yet a title he still bears, a shining wreath bloodied with rough hands, rough words, rough actions. kalan is far from an ideal protector. he’s more of a being of instinct that acts upon the first thought. it wouldn’t be unfair to call him selfish: to survive is to get through any ordeal, no matter the cost. his independence dips into defiance at points, his tendency for violence 'just in case' far from heroic.

but no matter how high the walls someone builds up, there will always be a break of continuity. it's a given that one would want to fill in these holes. a bit too strange, a bit too brutal, kalan never could relate with others nor others relate with him — a two-way road too rocky for most to traverse. yet the company of others is something he finds himself seeking out. to gain his respect is to win over his trust: once won, he's loyal to a point of naivety.

otherwise, brutal caution is the most efficient instinct he has relied on to carry him to living all the way until now.

something your muse struggles with: caution or unquestioning loyalty, no in-between.

your muse’s greatest strength: unerring loyalty to the ones he does begin to hold dear.

history / background:

merja's mother was an important woman as their tribe's medic, it was a fact that was immutable. she barely saw her kit, who would instead play with the the other children of similar age. merja's mother would have nothing but praises and adoration for her child when she did have the time to come home— her first and only kit, after a long, long time of not being able to have one due to health complications, is someone that's growing into a viera that she can be incredibly proud of. independent, sharp, nimble, yet strong.

yet, there's an underlying worry beneath this all. for a while, her merja will be safe within the walls of their village— she'll still be able to keep an eye on her kit. but, all male viera are to be wood-warders, the rite of passage to masterhood a brutal one. if her merja fits the requirements, there's a chance she may end up losing her kit forever.

and thus plagued by this fear, she ushered her kit out of the house and out of their village, out of the woods, thus breaking the green word. they could never return, but it's probably for the best, she'd insist to herself and her kit.

and how correct it was, she thought, when merja began to grow into more masculine characteristics as the summers began to pass. he never minded the sudden change, only blindly accepting what his mother thought was the best choice. even if it meant seeing her even less, he would have no complaints. even if she had to take so much jobs to keep them afloat, he's safe and free to choose his own path and that's what matters. even if he also began to take up small hunting jobs while still a teenager, it was okay since he was contributing to her.

but the snowy fields of northern ilsabard were dangerous, with the garlean threat of colonization looming over their head and the beasts were highly violent and territorial. he learned from the other hunters that mirroring this savagery was then a necessity for survival.

for a while, it was fine. he saw his mother from time to time, looking more tired than the last but with a bigger bag of provisions to last them both for months, then she was gone again. his jobs went smoothly— the older hunters don't like to talk with him ( 'weird, violent kid,' they'd say ) but they were willing to have him along for his efficiency and his sharp senses.

but he was only beginning to grow out of the childish softness on his cheeks when his mother never returned.

it wasn't clear what it was. abandonment; did she grow tired of caring for him? death; did she get involved in a dangerous job? he doesn't know the fate of his mother and never found out, no matter how long he waited for her to come home.

summers would pass and she never returned.

at one point, he realized that it was hard to care too hard other than the preliminary concern: she just wasn't actually part of his life enough. or, perhaps, he really is as callous as everyone calls him. regardless, there's a certain kind of pity that people would begin giving him and...

it was strange. alien, uncomfortable. so he got more violent in his jobs in response, then the looks stopped and people started to steer clear of him. it was better, yet worse. loneliness began eating at his heart, but he couldn't leave his home in the case that his mother would return, one day. nobody would tell her where he went if he went looking for her, nobody would tell him that she's returned either. because nobody truly cared for her nor him, with their strange little struggles in relating to the world around them.

strangers know nothing of the village's history. when a traveling researcher employed him to escort her through a dangerous area at one point, she showed him nothing but kindness and warmth. luciferin, she introduced herself. from the department of folklore studies.

she's bright. her wanderlust was strong and she would tell him of her travels, her experiences, and he felt a longing he never thought he ever had before. he began to look forward to her coming and going to their village, and for the first time, he felt as if there's something more to life than just surviving.

he would meet some of her students when she'd bring them. she would tell him about her family. she would bring him back trinkets and teach him past just basic mathematics, teach him things past what was necessary for a hunter.

perhaps it's just the fate of a viera to want to follow their mentor. inspired by the love she held for the world, he took up a protector's mantle similar to hers and set off on his own journey.

when luciferin encountered him before he left, she gave him the most precious gift that he could have ever received: a second name from his second mother, and thus he started to go by his city name kalan.

from the snowy small villages, to the warm and humid thavnair, then a shipping boat allowed him passage to eorzea, to the even more humid la noscea. a strange string of odd jobs brought him to meet the scions of the seventh dawn, a stranger string of events had him considered as one of the warriors of light.

but kalan was too ferocious. he didn't quite get along with most of the scions for a while, nor his other warriors of light. when he does get tangled with them, it's to get a job done and over. when any of them would take an interest in him and want to know him as a friend, an ally, he would push them away and hear out their enemies.

he's wary of the scions. even if they were also scholars like luciferin, they never had quite the same warmth she did, so he was wary. they were also turned away by his shows of violence, so he wasn't very interested in getting to know them better, either. and it was fine like that.

until he was forced to work with them to return home as he and the rest of the scions were spirited away into the first.

there, they began to talk past formalities. they began to find similarities, reasons for certain traits, and sympathy. for the first time, he actually began to feel as if, maybe, he belonged.

powers / abilities:

the echo - a vision of a starshower ushered forth an ability to transcend beyond usual measures. for kalan, he’s able to see into people’s memories and experience them as if he was there, himself, with no limitation on the length of time this memory has been experienced. another benefit, much more useful to him, is the ability to understand and speak all languages. the last blessing comes in the form of a protection of his aether from all corrupting influences.

blessing of the kojin - a divine blessing allowing him to breathe underwater indefinitely.

inherent abilities:

viera physiology - large, swiveling ears sensitive to the most subtle of noises. alongside that, viera are known for their longevity — he will stay at the physical peak of his body until his older years.

techniques of a warrior - the techniques both passed down to him and learned. being a warrior is tapping into the ‘inner beast’ — the basest of fighting instincts, the pure drive to survive. but to let it go untamed would be to rampage blindly: by harnessing those emotions behind a desire to protect, he is able to channel great strength.

items / weapons:

pita - emotional support chocobo. she’s as common as it goes, other than being rather big for one— he hasn’t quite given her anything like custom harnesses, but she seems very well-spoiled regardless.

axe of light - a certain axe won from a certain fight. a recent weapon, yet, it seems that it’s treated with plenty of care.

the crystal of the seat of azem - an amber crystal, smaller than one’s palm and warm to the touch, as if bathed in sunlight no matter what and when. when kalan channels his will into it, it allows him to summon forth allies to aid him in fights.

starting ability: the echo starting item: pita

extra:

i might be agender but i have places to explore so idgaf about that rn

tall for a male viera (6’2”-ish)

discord id: diatritikosfos

#xc application #mare cosmia #mun: elodie / cori

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thatgirlforever5 · 2 years

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May I have This Dance?

Title: May I Have This Dance?

Theme: Holiday Dinner/Party (Day 12)

Fandom/Characters: AEW, Kenny Omega x Reader

Warnings: Age Gap implied, Mention of smut, but no actual smut

Word Count: 1,198

Notes: I actually did it! I survived all 12 days! I honestly didn't think I'd be able to finish this challenge, and I almost backed out before day 1 😅 But I'm so proud of myself for pushing through. So to finish off strong, here's my longest submission of this whole challenge. Thank you to everyone who read my fics, and a huge thank you to @thunderkiss86 for doing this challenge and for all the support she's given me ❤️

@12daysofchristmas @thunderkiss86

The annual AEW Christmas party was always something the roster looked forward to.

A time to let loose and have some fun before the holidays.

While the rest of The Elite were having a great time, Kenny wanted to be anywhere else.

That's what he kept telling himself, but he knew it wasn't entirely true. He did want to be at the Christmas party, he just wanted to be with one particular person so they could be enjoying the party together.

His eyes scanned the room, spotting the one who was always on his mind lately.

Y/N stood with a few of the other girls, her bright smile lighting up the room. He could hear her sweet laugh from where he stood.

She was a younger wrestler, still in the beginning of her career. For her short time in the ring, she had talent well beyond her years. She had caught the eye of Tony Khan, and was offered a contract.

At first she was just another wrestler in the company, Kenny had only ever exchanged casual pleasantries with her.

And then around her third month with the company, He had found her alone in the ring hours before the show. She had been running drills.

Kenny, being the mentor he was, stopped to give her some tips. Which then turned into a sparring session. And before either of them knew it, they were getting ready to celebrate their six month anniversary.

Kenny was very adamant about keeping their relationship secret, telling her that no one could know. He felt bad, hiding the love they had for each other, but he knew it could hurt both of their careers if anyone found out. He could tell she wasn't thrilled with the idea, but agreed to keep things quiet.

His paranoia was the reason they hadn't spoken at all the last few days leading up to the party.

-------A Few Days Earlier--------

"Hey, I know we're keeping our relationship private, but do you think we could maybe hang out together at the party? It would just be like we're friends, I don't think anyone will think anything of it" Y/N innocently asked, holding up different dress options in front of the mirror.

Kenny chuckled from where he laid on the bed, watching her dig through her luggage.

"Baby, it's not a good idea. We've never spent time together backstage, so people are going to think it's weird that we're suddenly 'friends' hanging out at a party." He shrugged.

"We've never hung out backstage because you've never let me hang out." She frowned. "You talk to all the other girls about their matches, but then avoid me at all costs. Everyone thinks you hate me or something".

"I doubt anyone thinks that." He creased his brows.

"Yesterday Nyla asked me what I did to piss you off" She gave him a pointed look.

Kenny frowned. He hadn't realized how cold he had been while trying to keep their relationship under wraps.

"I just don't want people to get any bad ideas about us being together." He sighed.

"People can think whatever they want, because we know the truth about us and that's all that matters." She shrugged, setting the dresses aside to sit on the edge of the bed.

"Fans can be brutal Y/N. They're going to trash your name and accuse you of sleeping around to get to where you are." He looked at her.

"What are they going to do? Tweet me mean things? I don't have Twitter so it won't affect me. Comment on my Instagram? It's a private account so still not an issue." She shrugged.

Kenny sighed, dragging a hand over his face, "I'm just trying to protect you."

"I don't need to be protected. They don't sign my paycheck, so who cares what they think. Anyone in this company can think what they want. But me, you, and Tony know that I'm here because I worked hard and I'm only going to get better. You're so focused on a problem that doesn't actually exist." Her voice raised at the end.

"Why does this matter so much? We're happy together, we don't need to open ourselves up to everyone." Kenny shrugged, dismissing the conversation.

Y/N had stood up, and looked straight into his eyes.

"I'm tired of you being ashamed of me." She said, hurt evident in her voice.

Before he could say anything, she had left the room.

------ Back To Present------

"You haven't been yourself the last few days." Matt broke him out of his trance, leaning on the wall next to Kenny with a cup of coffee in hand.

"I've just had a lot on my mind." Kenny shrugged.

"Does it have anything to do with Y/N?" Matt asked so nonchalantly that it caused Kenny to freeze.

"What?" He asked, brows furrowed.

"You've been staring at her all night." Matt chuckled.

"No I haven't" Kenny denied with a shake of his head.

"Look, don't get mad. But Nick & I know that you two are together. So does Tony and Cody." Matt looked over at him.

Kenny looked at him in shock, Matt cut him off before he could start firing off questions.

"She came to us last month. She wanted to disclose your relationship to all the EVP's so that way if anything did happen, you both were protected." Matt glanced at him. "She did exactly what anyone dating within the company is supposed to do. She didn't want anyone to mention it to you because she knew how secret you wanted to keep things."

"She was just protecting you both" Matt clapped him on the shoulder. "For what it's worth, she really cares about you Kenny. If you're happy with her, then forget what everyone's going to say."

Matt left him in his thoughts. Kenny looked around and spotted Y/N again, standing off to the side of the dance floor.

For once, Kenny decided to stop thinking and just act on what his heart told him.

He walked across the dance floor, coworkers parting to let him through. He stopped in front of Y/N, a small smile on his face as he held his hand out to her.

"May I have this dance?" He smiled.

"What are you doing?" She looked up at him with wide eyes, and then glanced around the room.

"I'm done caring about everyone else. They can think whatever they want. All I care about is dancing with the girl I love." Kenny looked into her eyes.

A smile lit up Y/N's face, and she slid her hand into his.

He led her right to the middle of the dance floor, his hands settling on her hips as she slid her arms over his shoulders.

"I love you" She smiled, looking at him like he was the only person in the room.

"I love you too." He grinned, leaning down to kiss her as they slow-danced.

They felt like they were the only two people in a crowded room, and for the first time in six months, Kenny felt as if a weight had been lifted off of his shoulders.

#12 days of christmas #aew fanfiction #kenny omega fanfiction #kenny omega imagine #kenny omega x reader

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shirophantomvox · 3 years

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Analyzing Killua Zoldyck's Character

Illumi Analysis| Hisoka Analysis| Chrollo Anaysis|

What’s up y’all?! I’ve had at least 2 cups of coffee this morning and I am ready to write my butt off! This post will be about Killua Zoldyck, my second favorite character and you will know why by the end. If you’d like me to write about your favorite character, Be sure to send me a message and I will get on it ASAP.

Here we go!

I saw Killua for the first time on Tumblr. Someone created various icons for several anime characters and edited them. They were all aesthetically pleasing but for some reason, his picture stood out. Now that I look harder, it is because he was holding a Pepsi can instead of the off-brand one they drew for him in the cartoon. I noticed everyone on TikTok and Twitter had the very same icon as their profile picture (usually those that like to troll and say racist things to others). Once I started watching Hunter x Hunter, I realized the character immediately. Thank you for your edits!

Killua Zoldyck is the youngest child in the family and is the only child that developed a mind for his own.

Instead of taking the pleasure of killing, he runs/avoids and achieves this by becoming friends with Gon. It’s interesting to think that no one in the Zoldyck family wants to kill for fun except for Illumi.

I remember Zeno telling Chrollo: “Do you think I enjoy killing?”.

This makes me think that the family’s job is to destroy enemies that are a threat to society. Are the Zoldyck’s taking on the role of cops or an extension of such? If that statement is true why does Illumi take pleasure in abusing his power when his own grandfather only does it when criminals are involved? Granted, Silva and Zeno’s reasoning for brutally fighting criminals isn’t legal, and (to me) are considered to be vigilantes, at least they don’t go around doing the horrible things like how Illumi and Hisoka do.

This very reason why Killua ran away from home. He decided to rebel against his mother and implied: “Fuck you. I’m going to do what I want.” Killua and his siblings are victims of child abuse and show that they deal with that abuse in different ways. Killua masks his abilities in public and tries to keep them under control, Kalluto seems to be very quiet and obedient, Milluki is just as abusive as Illumi, and we already know about Illumi. Milluki is physically abusive; this can be seen when he is whipping Killua for running away and threatens to destroy Gon, Kurapika, and Leorio while Illumi plays mind games on Killua and uses his Nen to do the trick.

Killua’s character is very special and in a way takes the lead as the main character instead of Gon. I don’t know if that was intentional or not. Killua is a 12-year-old boy who leaves home to escape his abusive home and see the world for his own. During phase 1 of Hunter’s Exam, he instantly clicks with Gon; probably because he’s the only 12-year-old there. They constantly challenge each other to see who will win and who will buy dinner or some other reward. Because of his abusive home, Killua often masks his feelings. This is noticeable every time Gon talks about him being his best friend and he always reacts as if he’s embarrassed by it.

Gon is his shield from going bat-shit crazy like his family. They both have faced opponents (like Hisoka and others) where Killua could have unleashed his assassin abilities but didn’t. Yes, some of the opponents are stronger than him, but it wouldn’t hurt to try.

Killua is the best friend Gon could ever have. Since he knows about aura and any supernatural abilities, this is why he stops Gon and even insults him for pushing himself too far. Killua stopped Gon from using too much aura in the past especially once Kite’s arm was cut off by Pitou. Because Killua wasn’t there to stop him when fighting Pitou, this resulted in Gon’s downfall. Did Killua believe it was his fault that Gon almost died? He isn’t responsible for Gon’s actions but he focused so much on running away from his “demons” and masking his temper by maintaining his friendship that he wasn’t paying attention to Gon’s noticeable and developing temper.

Killua Zoldyck is a child that suffered from abuse and to escape that reality, he runs away, takes Hunter’s Exam only to match with his brother, chooses defeat, and then kills an opponent, not of his own free will.

But wait, there’s more.

After being rescued from his prison of a home, he goes to Heaven’s Arena, met Zushi and his teacher, develop Nen, follows the Phantom Troupe around and somehow managed to survive that, meet Bisky, join a game to get closer to Ging, witnesses Gon disappearing, trying to form a relationship with Alluka, and then tries to heal Gon with a quickness.

Whew, chile!

At the beginning of the show, it appeared as if Killua was taking on too much and only did so to keep his mind off what he escaped from.

One thing to point out is Killua’s motivation to heal Gon no matter what. It is implied that he doesn’t care what will happen to him or anyone else as long as Gon can live again.

Wait.

Isn’t that along the lines of what Gon said about getting revenge for Kite? He didn’t care about what happened to him? Hmmmm. I guess they’re very similar after all!

Killua and Gon are BFFs and will do anything for each other. Friendships in real life should be this way; let’s follow his fictional example.

Face

Killua’s face is the typical shape for someone his age. His eyes are wide, as blue as the morning sky, and honestly, I wish he’d smile more. Even though he is 12 years old, he still has a babyface.

Hair

Killua’s hair color is very similar to Princess Allura’s and Lotor’s. According to verywellmind.com, the color white represents innocence and purity. Ironically, Lotor and Killua are the opposite of that while Allura has maintained her innocence. Killua’s unique hair color and hairstyle are amazing! I love how it stays in shape while he is fighting or running.

Clothes

Regarding clothes, he is JUST like his brother. Again, Illumi irks me, but they both have a great taste in fashion. Through the show, Killua changes his clothes more than Gon, which is funny. I guess if Gon changed his clothes too much it would take away from his character. Killua’s default style contains a sleeveless white shirt with a purple one underneath, basketball shorts, and gym shoes. Just look at these outfit changes! This is why Killua is my 2nd favorite character in this show.

Behavior

As stated before, Killua cares more about others. This is ironic because the Zoldyck family only cares about themselves or their family while Killua feels the complete opposite. It’s almost as if he trusts strangers more than his own family. A common phrase: “She/He turned to the streets” that I’ve heard in my hometown can be applied here. Killua probably hates his family and turned to strangers to find love and comfort since they neglected that. He is also the only one that tries to develop a relationship with Alluka. At first, I thought “Wow he’s only developing a relationship with her to heal Gon” but then I realized it was bigger than that. Alluka has been separated from her family because of her dangerous abilities. She will demand something and if that person doesn’t fulfill her demands, they will suffer horribly. Killua learns that Alluka has a healing ability and while Illumi complains that Killua was hiding rules from him, he never took the chance to talk to him about it and continued to threaten Alluka. The family “banished” her to a confined room for who knows how long because, apparently, she had been possessed by a demon from the Dark Continent and they do not know when it happened. Despite knowing that Killua could parish with the rest, he still develops a relationship with her. He is the true example of excepting someone for who they are. As far as I’m concerned, running away was the best decision he made. It saved his life and in return, he’s going to save another. I do find it ironic that something considered to be so dark has the power to bring something back to life when usually it’s something bright like a light...interesting. You all know what I’m saying. Most television shows only portray angles to heal others while demons only seek to destroy. The Zoldyck family is wrong for pushing Alluka away. How could you do that to your own kid? Shit, you should be blaming yourself for not watching her and allowing the demon to posses her.

In conclusion, Killua is my second favorite character. He is bold, loves his friends, and isn’t afraid (anymore) to step up to people he may not win against. His character has blossomed from a young boy afraid to step up to his brother to a boy who isn’t afraid to do so. He has learned about Nen and has gone through many trials and tribulations just to say he is much stronger than before. What characters would you like to hear about next? Send me a DM!

Fin.

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