#she had to take it multiple times and my bp's low

[reginaofdoctorwho]

anyone else feel rage after a doctor's (technically np) appointment when u realize they were completely bullshitting what they said to you?

#'blah blah sorry there's not really anything we can do :'( #that seems to be reynaud's and there's not any treatment for that. u just have to live w it. looks horrible tho' #MA'AM. MA'AM I TAKE NURSING CLASSES. I FUCKING KNOW WHAT REYNAUD'S IS #ALSO! MULTIPLE MEMBERS OF MY FAMILY HAVE IT #IT RESOLVES (MOSTLY) W WARMTH. THIS FUCKING D O E S N ' T #THIS ONLY RESOLVES W ELEVATION WHICH IS NOT NORMALLY AS MUCH OF A FACTOR #AND ASIDE FROM T H A T #there fucking ARE treatmemts for reynaud's! there's medication there's surgeries fuck YOU #i always realize it as i walk out of the office i hate this #like god fucking dammit when i'm told i'm high risk for tissue damage i freak out ok?? and it might be a circulation thing because my pulse #is ALSO normally fucked up #she had to take it multiple times and my bp's low #pulse high bp is low #i have a sister w supraventricular tachycardia that had to have surgical correction #and a cousin that was 'healthy' and dropped dead from a heart attack at 22 #i fucking hate this shit #also i'm still losing weight so 🙃 that's going on too #not by much but like. AHH i was really trying to gain weight

[vtforpedro]

life update - long

It took me a hot minute to find the last update. December, I guess? I'm so tired I never stop being tired and time is not real anymore. Anyway. Disability Stuff: I won my case in federal court in February. They said it'd take a year so I was a little hm. Found out the SSA voluntarily asked the judge for the remand because the written decision was indefensible and they were gonna take another look. Pros: Hey, I won! I get a second hearing! Cons: I didn't get a brief written by the federal law firm because there was no time. This is actually a tactic used by the SSA. I have no doubt they're fine tuning another denial. I also have to wait for the lower level court to figure out what was so bad about it (that they'd already ruled was perfect) to give to the judge I will have another hearing with. The same judge. Who said I was a liar multiple times and omitted eight months of medical evidence and said mental health issues are subjective hahaha. I hate this country. Health: Boy howdy it's been better and worse. I had the tilt table test in late December, went... ok enough, but my neuro didn't like how ambiguous the report was and sent me back to them to speak to an autonomic disorder specialist. Scheduled in Jan, just had my appt with her this month lol she is busy. She ordered: genetics test, labs, and skin biopsy. I've done the first two, third is scheduled in July and I'm gonna be a mess because needles u_u Brain stuff is much of the same. Episodic. Manageable times are a godsend, bad times are really bad. My heart started to do some funky ass shit a few months ago. My mom kept writing it off as anxiety no matter how much I explained that it felt like my heart was pounding after exercise. My BP and pulse shot up high for a while and b/c my pulse never came back down and it was interfering with, you know, living, my PCP sent me to cardiology. :') Cause I wanted my heart involved in this mess One 24hr holter monitor, echo, and heart ultrasound later, and I have a new heart condition. He said 'your heart is beating so fast you would normally see it with exercise' bada boom baby and has nothing to do with fucking ANXIETY >:[ I'm on heart medication. 10 meds. I need to start another med for my psych but that's 11 and I'm honestly getting upset because it's so fucking much medication in one day but every single one of them is necessary so what can really I do? Personal: Relationship with my mom is at an all time low. This is extremely unfortunate because a few weeks ago, my mom told me she is basically being 'laid off' (she's not losing her job for a while, just retiring earlier than expected) and I have to leave my home of 10 years by mid-August. Got no sympathy from her about it *finger guns* I've gone through the devastation of that and am kind of just stuck in how is any of that gonna work. My brother and I can't live together, so he's gonna move into a family friend's rental. Except he has no job and hasn't been able to get one in months. He started one on Monday, is gonna leave by Friday because it's horrific ig. Anyway my mom promises he won't be there. We have to move based on my disabilities and my mom's house is gonna have to reflect what we have here. I'll see it when I believe it. I don't trust her anymore. Extra unfortunate that I'm gonna be living 24/7 with my mother who has been an abusive person in my life the past two years. The short break thru the day that my apartment is just mine, quiet and gentle, is gonna be gone. I'll be introducing my solitary 11 year old cat Lilly into a house with 3 other cats. She only knew Isis her entire life. She was just diagnosed with neuro issues this year after going through an MRI. We don't know if she has seizure activity or if it's movement disorder, but the med she's on treats both and she has gotten better. Same process Isis went through. Cannot believe I have two cats with neuro issues and likely the same one. May 18th was one year since Isis passed. Rough, tiring day.

I don't know how it has been that long. Feels like it just happened. I can still see her and feel her through my apartment and losing it in August will probably shatter me most because of losing the last place she existed in. I miss her more than I can say.

She was my little soulmate and her absence is felt in every corner here. Writing/Fandom:

I went through a whole fucking situation over in the Stranger Things fandom that has left me not wanting to post anymore. Idk if neuro shit has destroyed my ability to write but it's humiliating and painful every time I post a fic.

I posted stucky (1 out of 2 fics this year) on my main acct and lost 8 fuckin user subs? Like goddamn. What'd stucky do 😭 anyway it was even more devastating and kinda like 'here's your big ass sign to keep your writing to yourself.'

Between the god awful shit that happened in the ST fandom and my inability to put together even a good one shot, I'm feeling really down about one of two creative things I can do in my life. I used to love sharing my stuff. I want to write and share but it feels like it's harming my MH. I can't draw or paint right now, either. And I can barely move around my apartment without pain. I can't even leave it except for doctor appointments.

Idk. Very walls are closing in type of feeling and I hate it. In short: I'm tired, struggling, and too many things are happening at once. I love you all 😩💜 thank you for your patience and love and kind words. Your support is felt through one update to the next. I hope you're all well and I'm sending all my love and hugs to you.

#vtforpedro personal #vtforpedro medical #tw mental health #tw disability

[just-dreaming-marvel]

Love and Medicine ~ 2

MASTERLIST

< previous chapter

Word Count: 4,600ish

Summary: Your second day as an intern continues.....

You were trying not to make it obvious that you were hurrying down the hall. But you were pretty sure you were failing miserably. As you continued, without looking back, a hand suddenly grabbed your upper arm and pulled you into an on-call room.

“Hey!” You exclaimed, stumbling through the door. You looked to see that it was Steve—Dr. Rogers. “Dr. Rogers—“

“Dr. Rogers?” He repeated, sounding a little hurt. “This morning it was Steve. Now it’s Dr. Rogers.”

“Dr. Rogers, we should pretend it never happened.”

“What never happened, you sleeping with me last night? Or you throwing me out this morning? Because both are fond memories I’d like to hold onto.”

“No. There will be no memories. I'm not the girl in the bar anymore, and you're not the guy. This can't exist. You get that, right?”

“You took advantage of me and now you want to forget about it.”

“I did not take—“

“I was drunk, vulnerable and good-looking and you took advantage.”

You gave him a tight smile. “Okay, I was the one who was drunk, and you are not that good-looking.”

“Well, maybe not today. But last night, last night I was very good-looking. I had my blue shirt on, my good-looking shirt, you took advantage.”

“I did not take—“

“You want to take advantage again? Say Friday night?”

“Did you just— No! You're an attending. And I'm your intern. Stop looking at me like that.”

“Like what?” 

“Like you’ve seen me naked.” 

Steve simply smirked. “Well, I have.” 

“Dr. Rogers. This is inappropriate. Has that ever occurred to you?”

You quickly left the room, leaving Steve staring at the shutting door with a sigh. He stepped out and over to the nearest nurses station.

“Oh, no,” another doctor came up, handing papers over to a nurse behind a desk. “I’ve seen that look before… I know that look, I think I invented it.”

“Oh shut it, Tony,” Steve said, coming up beside him.

“You know you—“

“I said shut it, didn’t I?”

“Okay, okay.” Tony held his hands up in defense. “I’ll shut it. Just don’t come whining to me when it all blows to hell.”

~~~

Deciding you needed to get your mind off Dr. Rogers, you went up to the OR gallery. You were sitting with other interns, watching Scott Lang prep for surgery.

“He’s going to faint,” one of the interns commented. “He’s a fainter.”

“Naaah, code brown,” another one added. “Right in his pants.”

“He’s all about the flops. He’s going to sweat himself unsterile.”

“Ten bucks says he messes up the McBird,” a third one said.

“Twenty says he cries,” Natasha, who you were seated by, said.

“I’ll put twenty on a total meltdown,” the second intern added.

“Fifty says he pulls the whole thing off,” you interrupted, fed up. Everyone looked at you, silent, while your eyes remained on Scott. “That’s one of us down there. The first one of us. Where’s your loyalty?” 

There was a brief pause before Natasha continued, “Seventy five says he can’t even ID the appendix.”

“I’ll take that action,” Val responded, others agreeing.

“Okay, Lang,” Maria Hill said in the OR, which you could hear in the gallery. “Let’s see what you can do.”

“Here it comes,” you whispered, trying to be hopeful.

“Scalpel,” Scott requested, hand out.

“Scalpel,” a nurse replied, putting the instrument in his hand.

As Scott took it, the interns cheered from in the gallery. Dr. Hill quickly motioned for them to shut up.

“That Hill, she’s trouble,” Val commented, causing some interns to laugh.

“More pressure,” Hill advised as Scott got ready to cut. “Human flesh is a tough shell, dig in.”

“Pick-ups,” Scott requested after cutting.

“Pick-ups,” the nurse responded.

“Clamp.”

“Clamp.”

“Met some bone. I’m there.”

“Damn, he got the peritoneum and he opened him up,” a male intern commented.

“I told you,” you gloated. “He’s going to pull it off.”

“Scalpel,” Scott requested.

“Scalpel,” the nurse responded.

All of the interns watched with bated breath as Scott preformed the procedure.

“Appendix is out,” Scott stated, tossing it into a tray while the interns cheered.

“Not bad,” Hill commented.

“Thank you.”

“Now all you have to do is invert the stump into the chum and simultaneously pull up on the purse-strings but be careful not to—“ a rip sound came through “—break them.” Hill groaned. “He ripped the cecum. Got a bleeder. You’re filling with stool, what do you do now?”

“Uh.. uh….”

“Think. You start the suction, and you start digging for those purse-strings before she bleeds to death. Coulson, give him a clamp.”

“BP’s dropping,” a nurse informed.

“He’s choking,” Natasha stated.

“Come on, Scott,” you whispered.

“Today,” Hill urged, getting irritated. “Pull your balls out of your back pocket, let's go. What are you waiting for, suction?” Beeping started.

“Getting too low folks,” the nurse said. “Dr. Hill…”

“Get out of the way,” Hill said, pushing Scott over to take his place. “Pansy-ass idiot. Get him out of here. Suction… Clamp.”

“007,” the male intern from before stated.

“007,” another intern repeated. “Yep, that’s a total 007.”

“What’s 007 mean?” Val asked.

“Licensed to kill,” you answered.

~~~

A few hours later, you and the rest of your intern group had found a basement hallway with empty beds along it. You all decided it was a nice place to lay low for a moment.

“007,” Scott muttered. “They're calling me 007, aren't they?”

“No one’s calling you 007,” you and Clint responded.

“I was on the elevator and Quill whispered 007.”

“Oh, how many times do we have go through this, Scott, five, ten?” Natasha was fed up. “Give me a number or else I'm going to hit you.”

“Quill whispered 007 and everyone laughed.”

“He wasn’t talking about you,” Val said.

“You sure?”

“Would we lie to you?” You asked.

“Yes.”

“007 is a state of mind,” Natasha said.

“So says the girl who finished top of her class as Stanford.”

All of their pagers went off, causing them to look down at them.

“Oh man,” you grumbled. “It’s 911 for Savannah Chase. I gotta go.” You ran off, leaving the rest of them there.

“Maybe I should've gone into geriatrics,” Scott continued. “No one minds when you kill an old person.”

“Surgery is hot, it's the Marines, it's the macho, it's hostile, it's hardcore,” Natasha said. “Geriatrics is for freaks who live with their mothers and never have sex.”

“I’ve got to get my own place.”

“Same,” Clint agreed.

~~~

Running into Savannah’s room, you immediately noticed that she was sitting up, reading a magazine.

“Took you long enough,” Savanah said.

“You’re okay?” You huffed, trying to catch your breath. “The nurse paged me 911.”

“I had to go all Exorcist to get her to even pick up the phone.”

“Wait. There’s—There’s nothing wrong with you?”

“I’m bored.” She shrugged. “I thought you could help me.”

“You little— I’m not your personal assistant.”

“You don't have to wig out. The pageant's supposed to be on cable, but this crappy hospital doesn't get the channel. If that cow Casey Childs is gonna walk off with my crown, I have to see it. Can you call someone?”

“Okay. This is an actual hospital. There are sick people here. Go to sleep, and stop wasting my time.”

“But I can't sleep. My head's all full.”

“That's called thinking. Go with it.” 

You stormed off. If this is how the patients were all the time, you didn’t know how much longer you could last. And it was only your first day, of your intern year.

~~~

Hours later, you were standing at a nurses station, working on paperwork for a patient, while you overheard another conversation.

“4B’s got post-op pneumonia,” it was a male intern from before. “Let’s start antibiotics.”

“Are you sure that’s the right diagnosis?” A male nurse questioned.

“Well I don't know, I'm only an intern. Here's an idea, why don't you go spend four years in med school and let me know if it's the right diagnosis. She's short of breath, she's got fever, she's post-op. Start the antibiotics.” The intern walked over to you, clearly checking you out. “I hate nurses. I’m Peter. I’m with Sam Wilson, you’re with Gamora, right?”

“She may not have pneumonia, you know. She could be splinting, or have a PE.”

“Like I said, I hate nurses.” Peter began to walk away.

“What did you just say? Did you just call me a nurse?”

“Well, if the white cap fits…”

You groaned as your pager beeped, turning away to not have to see Peter anymore. “Damn it, Savannah.” You left, not an any hurry to get to Savannah’s room.

“She seeing anybody?” Peter asked Clint.

“I don’t know,” Clint replied.

Peter whistled. “She’s hot.”

“I'm friends with her. I mean, kinda friends, I mean, not, you know, actually friends, not exactly, but we're tight. We hang out. I mean, really only just today—“

“Dude.”

“—but—“

“Dude. Stop talking.”

~~~

You took your time getting to Katie’s room. As you walked up the hallway towards her room, you noticed nurses rushing in. That’s when you finally picked up your pace.

“What took you so long?” A blonde female nurse yelled as you entered the room, overwhelmed by the sight before you.

“She's having multiple grand mal seizures, now how do you want to proceed?” A male nurse asked. You froze at the doorway, unable to move. “Dr. L/N? Are you listening to me? She's got Diazepam, 2mg Diazepam, I just gave her a second ago, Dr. L/N, you need to tell us what you want to do. Dr. L/N!”

Still panicking, you picked up Katie’s chart. “Okay, she’s full on prazepam?” You asked.

“She’s had 4mg,” the female nurse responded.

“Did you page Dr. Gamora and Dr. Rogers?”

“Yes!”

“The prazepam’s not working,” the male nurse stated.

“Phenobarbital, load her with Phenobarbital,” you ordered, still struggling to move from your spot. The scene before you, extremely overwhelming.

“Pheno’s in.”

“No change,” a third nurse said.

“You paged Dr. Rogers?” You repeated.

“I just told you—“

“Well page him again! Stat!”

“What do you want to do? Dr. L/N, you need to tell us what you want to do!” The monitors started beeping. “Heart’s stopped!”

“Code blue, code blue! Code blue, code blue!” The first nurse shouted.

The nurses pulled out the defibrillators as your brain finally began to work again. You quickly took the defibrillators away from the nurse.

“Charge pulse of two hundred,” you ordered.

“Charged,” the nurse responded. “Clear.” You used the defibrillators on Katie’s chest, only to get no response. “Still defib. Nothing. 19 seconds.”

“Charge to 300.”

“300.” You tried again, only to fail. “27 seconds.”

“Charge to 360.” You tried again, with still nothing. “Come on, Savannah.”

“49 seconds.”

“At 60 seconds you’re supposed to admit her—“

“Charge again!” You ordered, the nurse not following. “Charge again.” The nurse does and you try again. On the monitor you see Savannah’s blood pressure (BP) register. “Anything?”

“I see sinus rhythm,” the first nurse replied.

“Blood pressure’s coming up,” the second nurse added.

“Alright now. Pressure’s returning. Grid’s coming back—“

“What the hell happened?” Dr. Rogers asked, running into the room.

“She had a seizure,” you responded, “and—“

“A seizure?”

“Her heart stopped.”

“You were supposed to be monitoring her.”

“I checked on her and she—“

“I got it.” Dr. Rogers started checking Savannah. “Just—just go.” You turned away, heading out. “Someone give me her chart, please?”

As you walked out of the room, you weren’t feeling the greatest. You were still overwhelmed and disappointed in yourself. Gamora was waiting for you not far outside the room.

“You get a 911, you page me immediately,” Gamora stated, “not in the five minutes it takes you to get to the emergency, immediately, you are on my team and if somebody dies it's my ass.” You kept walking, needing some fresh air. “You hear me, L/N?”

“Y/N?” Natasha called out.

You kept walking, ignoring everyone. Natasha followed you as you exited the main doors. It was raining outside, but you didn’t care. You leaned over and threw up on the patch of grass outside the hospital. Natasha watched from the doorway. Taking a deep breath, you wiped your mouth and headed back for the doors.

“If you tell anyone, ever…” You threatened Natasha as you entered the hospital.

~~~

Just after hour 24, all the interns were paged to the conference room. Looking around, you could tell everyone was exhausted. Natasha was sitting next to you, you furrowed your brows in confusion as you watched her.

“What are you doing?” You asked.

“I’m suturing a banana,” Natasha answered, “with the vain hope that it wakes up my brain.” Scott laughed from beside them. “What’re you smiling at, 007?” Scott immediately stopped laughing. “I’m sorry, I get mean when I’m tired.”

“You know what? I don’t care,” Scott said. “I comforted a family, and I get to hang out in the OR today. All is well.”

“Does anybody know why we’re here?” Clint asked.

“We’re probably all getting fired,” Val suggested. “And we’ve only been here for 24 hours. They’re going to get rid of the whole class and start fresh.”

“Well good morning,” Dr. Rogers greeted as he entered the room with Gamora. “I'm going to do something pretty rare for a surgeon, I'm going to ask interns for help. I've got this kid, Savannah Chase. Right now, she's a mystery. She doesn't respond to her meds. Labs are clean, scans are pure, but she's having seizures. Grand mal seizures with no visible cause. She's a ticking clock. She's going to die, if I don't make a diagnosis. Which is where you come in. I can't do it alone. I need your extra minds, extra eyes, I need you to play detective, I need you to find out why Savannah is having seizures. I know you're tired, you're busy, you've got more work than you could possibly handle. I understand. So, I'm going to give you an incentive. Whoever finds the answer rides with me. Savannah needs surgery. You get to do what no interns get to do. Scrub in to assist on an advanced procedure. Dr Gamora's going to hand you Savannah's chart. The clock is ticking fast, people. If we're going to save Savannah's life, we have to do it soon.”

All the interns grabbed copies of her chart and went their separate ways. You stayed sitting at the conference room table, trying to avoid helping with Savannah’s case.

“Hey, I want in on Rogers’ surgery,” Natasha stated, turning to you. "You've been the intern on Savannah since the start. You want to work together? We find the answer, we have a fifty-fifty chance of scrubbing in.”

“I'll work with you, but I don't want in on the surgery,” you replied. “You can have it.”

“Are you kidding me? It’s the biggest opportunity any intern will ever get.”

“I don’t want to spend any more time with Rogers than I have to.”

“What do you have against Rogers?”

“If we find the answer, the surgery’s yours. Do you want to work together or not?”

Natasha grinned, nodding her head. “Oh yeah.”

~~~

“Well, she doesn't have anoxia, chronic renal failure or acidosis,” Natasha stated while you and her were seated at a table in the medical center’s library. “It's not a tumor because her CT's clean. Are you seriously not going to tell me why you won't work with Rogers?”

“Nope,” you replied. “What about infection?”

“No. There's no white count, she has no ceteal lesions, no fevers, nothing in her spinal tap, just tell me.”

“You can't comment, make a face, or react in any way.” Natasha gave a slight nod. “We had sex.”

Natasha’s mouth opened in surprise before she quickly closed it. “What about an aneurysm?” She continued, trying to do as you had asked.

“No blood on the CT, and no headaches.”

“Okay. There's no drug use, uh, no pregnancy, no trauma… was he good? I mean, he looks like he would be, was it any good?”

“What are the answers?” You ignored her questions. The truth was, he was good. REALLY good. The best sex you’ve had in, well, ever. “What if no one comes up with anything?”

“You mean if she dies?”

“Yeah.”

“This is gonna sound really bad, but I really wanted that surgery.”

“She's just never going to get the chance to turn into a person. The sum total of her existence will be almost winning Miss Teen whatever. You know what her pageant talent is?”

"They have talent?”

“Rhythmic gymnastics.” You both laughed.

“Oh, come on.”

“What is rhythmic gymnastics? I don't know - I can't even say it, I don't know what it is.”

“Isn’t it like something with a ball, and a—“ You suddenly went still, realizing what was going on with Savannah. “What? Y/N, what?”

“Get up!” You jumped up. “Come on!”

You explained to Natasha, as you both ran to find Dr. Rogers, that you believed she had an aneurysm.

“—the only thing she could possibly need is a—“ Natasha was saying as you found Dr. Rogers heading onto an elevator. “Oh, oh, Dr. Rogers! Just one moment, um, uh, Savannah competes in beauty pageants—“

“I know that,” Dr. Rogers responded. “But we have to save her life anyway.”

“Okay, she has no headaches, no neck pain, her CT's clean, there's no medical proof of an aneurysm—“

“Right.” Dr. Rogers stepped into the elevator.

“—but what if she has an aneurysm anyway?”

“There are no indicators.”

“Ah,” Natasha stopped the elevator, “but she twisted her ankle, a few weeks ago when she was practicing for the pageant—“

“Look, I appreciate you're trying to help, but—“

“This is not helping!” A doctor in the elevator shouted.

“She fell,” you tried. “When she twisted her ankle, she fell.”

“It was no big deal, not even a bump on the head,” Natasha explained, “you know she got right back up, iced her ankle and everything was fine, it was a fall so minor her doctor didn't even think to mention it when I was taking her history, but she did fall.”

“Well, you know the chances that a minor fall could burst an aneurysm, one in a million!” Dr. Rogers said. “Literally.”

The elevator door finally was allowed to close. You and Natasha looked at each other with a sigh before turning away. You’re caught by surprise when you hear the elevator ding. Turning back around, you see Dr. Rogers stepping out.

“Let’s go,” he ordered.

“Where?” Natasha asked.

“To find out if Savannah’s one in a million.”

~~~

Getting Savannah’s scans done and back seemed like an eternity for the three of you. When the scans were finally up, it turned out that you had been right.

“Well, I’ll be damned,” Dr. Rogers commented.

“There is it,” the tech operating the scan pointed at the dark spots on the monitor.

“It's minor, but it's there. It's a cerebachnoid haemorrhage. She's bleeding into her brain. Let’s go.” Dr. Rogers led them out of the room and down the hall. “She could've gone her entire life without it ever being a problem. One tap in the right spot—“

“And explode,” Natasha said.

“Exactly. Now I have to fix it. You two did great work. Love to stay and kiss your asses, but I gotta tell Savannah s parents she's having surgery.” They reached the nurses station. “Savannah Chase's chart, please.”

“Here you go,” a nurse said, handing it over.

“Oh, and Dr. Rogers,” Natasha said, "you said that you’d pick someone to scrub in if we helped.”

“Oh, yes, right,” Dr. Rogers responded. “Um, I'm sorry I can't take you both, it's going to be a full house. Y/N, I'll see you in OR.” You looked at Dr. Rogers, who’s blue eyes felt like they could see right through you. Natasha was also looking at you, waiting for you to give her the surgery. “Good,” Dr. Rogers continued, “thank you.” Then he took his leave.

Natasha looked back at you, clearly pissed. “You’ve got to be kidding me! You said that you didn’t want to work with him anymore, that if we worked together and found the answer, you’d give me the surgery.”

“Natasha…”

“Oh, no.” She shook her head. “Don’t Natasha me. He looked at you with those gorgeous blue eyes and you couldn’t say no! You’re already wrapped around his finger and I’m not going to be a pawn in the game.” 

She stormed off. Leaving you standing there, knowing she was right.

~~~

Natasha and Val were sitting back in the empty corridor with the spare beds, again. 

“Val,” Natasha complained, trying to get Val to stop making excuses for you.

“Maybe Y/N couldn’t—“

“Val!”

“I’ll tell him I changed my mind,” you said, coming into the corridor. “You can—“

“No, no, don’t do me any favors. It’s fine.”

“Natasha—“

“You know what, you did a cutthroat thing, deal with it. Don't come to me for absolution, you want to be a shark, be a shark.”

“I’m not—“

“Oh yes you are. Only it makes you feel all bad in your warm gooey places. No, screw you. I don't get picked for surgeries because I slept with my boss. You know, some of us have to earn what we get.” Natasha stormed away, again.

“Wait…” Val said from behind. “You slept with someone… who did you sleep with?!” You groaned, resting your head in your hands. “Was it Stark? I’ve only met him once but he’s hot. But I’d only hit Banner and Hill too. Oh! Was it—“

“I’m not doing this.” You shook your head and walked away.

“I’ll find out soon enough!” Val laughed.

~~~

You went searching for Dr. Rogers, determined to give the surgery to Natasha. You found him shaving Savannah’s head.

“I promised I’d make her look cool,” he said upon noticing you. “Apparently being a bald beauty queen is the worst thing that happened in the history of the world.”

“Did you choose me for the surgery because I slept with you?” You quietly asked.

“Yes,” he quickly answered before a long pause. “I’m kidding.”

“I'm not going to scrub in for surgery. You should ask Natasha. She really wants it.”

“You're Savannah's doctor. And on your first day, with very little training, you helped save her life. You earned the right to follow her case to the finish. You… you shouldn't let the fact that we had sex get in the way of you taking your shot. Besides, it was very good sex. It should have given you a boost.”

“Dr. Rogers, I— ugh!” You quickly left, leaving him to chuckled to himself.

~~~

Clint and you were outside of the medical center, needing some fresh air. Clint sat on a bench as you paced in front of him.

“I wish I wanted to be a chef,” you said. “Or a ski instructor. Or a kindergarten teacher.”

“You know, I would've been a really good postal worker,” Clint said, dazed. “I'm dependable. You know, my parents tell everyone they meet that their son's a surgeon. As if it's a big accomplishment. A superhero or something. If they could see me now…”

“When I told my mother I wanted to go to medical school, she tried to talk me out of it. Said I didn't have what it takes to be a surgeon. That I'd never make it. So, the way I see it, superhero sounds pretty damn good.”

“We’re going to survive this, right?”

“We can only hope.”

~~~

You were standing at a nurses station, trying to fill in a patient chart, as Dr. Fury, the Chief of Surgery, was taking to Peter Quill, the intern.

“She’s still short of breath,” Fury stated. “Did you get an ABG or a chest film?”

“Oh, yes sir, I did,” Peter answered, a little bit too cockily.

“And what did you see?”

“Oh, well, I had a lot of patients last—“

“Name the common causes of post-op fever.”

“Uh… yes, sir.” Peter quickly pulled a notebook out of his pocket.

“From your head. Not from a book. don’t look it up, learn it. It should be in your head. Name the common causes of post-op fever.”

“Uh...the common causes of post-op…”

“Can anybody name the common causes of post-op fever?” Fury shouted to the whole floor. Everyone stopped, one girl pulling out her own notebook.

“Wind, water, wound, walking, wonder drugs,” you stated, causing everyone to look at you. “The five W’s. Most of the time it’s wind, splinting or pneumonia. Pneumonia’s easy to assume, especially if you’re too busy to do the tests.”

Fury gave Peter a pointed look before looking back at you. “What do you think’s wrong with 4B?”

“The fourth W, walking. I think she’s a promise candidate for a pulmonary ambulus.”

“How would you diagnose?”

“Spiral CT, VQ scan, provide O2, dose with Heparin, and consult for an IVC filter.”

Fury turned back to Peter. “Do exactly as she says, then tell Wilson that I want you off this case.” He turned back to you and Peter walked away. “Very impressive, Dr. L/N. Can’t wait to see more. Welcome to the gang.”

“Thank you, sir.” 

~~~

You were scrubbed in and waiting in the OR with the rest of those who would be on Savannah’s surgery before Dr. Rogers was. The OR and gallery were full, wanting to watch the one in a million brain aneurysm.

“Alright everybody,” Dr. Rogers said, coming in with his red-white-and-blue scrub cap on. “It’s a beautiful night to save lives. Let’s have some fun.”

You watched in awe as Dr. Rogers performed the surgery. It was the greatest thing you had ever witnessed and you longed to be more apart of it than you were. After the surgery was over, you sat outside the OR in a happy daze. 

“It was a good surgery,” Natasha said as she stopped in front of you.

“Yeah,” you agreed.

Natasha sat beside you, sighing. “We don't have to do that thing where I say something, and then you say something, and then somebody cries, and there's like a moment—“

“Yuck.”

“Good. You should get some sleep. You look like crap.”

“I look better than you.”

“That’s not possible.” 

Natasha then took her leave. Dr. Rogers then came out of the OR. He stopped at the desk for some paperwork while you stared at him, still dazed.

“That was amazing,” you said with a shy smile.

“Mmm,” Dr. Rogers hummed in agreement, still working on the papers.

“You practice on cadavers, you observe, and you think you know what you're going to feel like standing over that table, but...that was such a high.” Dr. Rogers looked at you and nodded. “I don’t know why anybody does drugs.”

“Yeah.”

“Yeah,” you smiled.

Dr. Rogers smiled back a bit. “I should go do this.”

“You should.”

He started walking backwards, unable to take his eyes off you just yet. “I’ll see you around.”

“See you around.” 

next chapter >

NOTES: from now on the taglist when be added by a reblog. I will reblog it using my second account, @just-dreaming-marvel-2​​. Just so that my main page doesn’t get too cluttered.

If you want to be added to the tag list, please dm me or send in an ask.

#steve rogers x reader #tony stark x reader #the avengers x reader #avengers x reader #gamora x reader #peter quill x reader #nick fury x reader #scott lang x reader #clint barton x reader #natasha romanoff x reader #marvel imagine #marvel imagines #steve rogers imagine

[discjockeyetc]

How I Got Here: One Year (and 85 pounds) Later

On October 14th, 2019, I began a journey that would change my life (and my health) for the better. I’ve told the whole story to a few people here and there, but never really put the whole thing down in to words. I figured the one year anniversary would be a good time to do that.

On October 14th, 2019, I weighed 250 pounds. As I’m writing this today, on October 14th, 2020, I weigh right at 165 pounds.

With that, here’s what happened, and how I got here... one year (and 85lbs) later.

It all began on Friday, October 11th at about 12:00pm. I was working from home, Jill was at work, and Turner was at school. Sydney had been dealing with a nasty body rash, so we had kept her home from school. We were dog sitting Jill’s parents’ dog Goldie, so Sydney and I were standing on the patio watching Goldie and Freddie play in the backyard. As we were standing there, I suddenly felt this rush of numbness take over the entire left side of my body. From the top of my head to my toes. Total numbness. My left hand felt like I had been sitting on it for a half hour. My mouth had that sensation (or lack of sensation, as it were) of just receiving a shot of novocaine from the dentist. 

This was, as you can imagine, pretty strange, so I quickly gathered the dogs and Sydney and went back inside. I sat back down at my desk while the episode was happening. After about 60 seconds, it stopped. Just went away. I didn’t pass out or get dizzy or anything. I didn’t get droopy-faced or drop anything I was holding. Just numbness (with a little tingling). 

It would happen a couple more times that afternoon and each time would last about the same amount of time; about 60 to 90 seconds or so. I had a wedding to do that Saturday (which I was NOT going to miss) and had multiple episodes of this random numbness throughout that day and night. 

That Sunday, we made our annual pilgrimage to Burt’s Pumpkin Farm and Hillcrest Orchards, and it would pop up a couple times that day. All in all, from Friday around lunch time to Sunday night, I had probably 20 of these little episodes. 

[Quick important side story: I made two BIG mistakes here, and I’m not afraid to admit them. Mistake number one: I didn’t want to make a big deal out of this, so I did the stereotypical “male” thing and swept it under the rug. I had a wedding to do, and we had our pumpkins and apples trip... and I didn’t want to miss ANY of that... and I absolutely would have. Mistake number two: I didn’t really tell Jill what was going on, and that’s one of my biggest regrets in ALL of this. I needed to tell her, but I didn’t really mention it until Sunday night. This is a mistake I will NEVER make again... and I only share this as a testimony for all married couples on what NOT to do in serious situations like this. We had just celebrated our 17th wedding anniversary... and even though we’ve been married a good long time, I still got this wrong... but never again. Okay... back to the main story]

I didn’t have a primary care doctor at the time, so I figured I’d go to the urgent care near my house first thing Monday morning. Now, I realized that an urgent care can’t “fix” this, but I had to start somewhere, right? After I described what I experiencing, the PA did all of normal cognitive tests (”squeeze my fingers”, “What year is it?”, “push against my arms”, and so on). The PA went to talk to the main doctor at the primary care, and while she was gone, I had another episode. I popped my head out of the exam room to let them know. No sooner than I did that, the PA was returning from her conversation with the doctor... and they were ready to point me in the direction I was seeking. That direction was the emergency room.

Jill and I were both working from home that day, so I reached out to her and let her know that I needed to go to the ER. The urgent care wouldn’t let me leave on my own, so I either had to take an ambulance, or have someone come pick me up. Jill ran right up to the urgent care, and off we went to the hospital. 

I showed up at the emergency room VERY nervous and unsure about what would happen, but I explained what was going on, and they checked me in. Remember, this was pre-Covid, so I was able to get in with no issue and very little delay. I reached out to my work supervisor to let him know what was going on and that I’d be away from my desk for a while. All good there. I was taken back to the ER area and got the ball rolling. 

After my vitals were taken, tests were immediately ordered. Luckily, the BIG tests (MRI, CT scan, heart ultrasound) appeared to be normal. *whew* Good news there. I also did the whole gauntlet of blood and urine tests. Now, I always knew that I was pretty overweight and that my eating habits were NOT good. I was also expecting my blood pressure to be less than spectacular (whih it was, of course). I hadn’t taken any medications for cholesterol or BP. This was mainly due to a condition that Jill and the ER nurses referred to as “manitis” (aka male stubbornness). %100 guilty of that FOR SURE. 

While all this is going on, I would have a couple more episodes of that same numbness while sitting in an ER bed. 

I wouldn’t end up talking to him until later in the day, but the Neurologist who ordered and reviewed my tests instructed the staff to inform me that I would be admitted to the hospital right away. That’s when the fear REALLY sunk in.

I was taken to a room on the fifth floor and got settled in. The IV was installed, and I got “dressed” in my gown. Private room, too. Not bad. They continued to monitor my vitals... especially my blood pressure which was still far too high. I was started on a drip and began taking medicine to help my BP. 

The Neurologist came by to tell me what he believed was going on. In his estimation, the numbness was probably caused by blockages in microscopic veins/arteries (NOT a stroke or a series of mini-strokes), so, this was welcomed news. Blockages are treated with cholesterol medication (something I figured was coming at some point). 

It was around this time that another person (a nurse, I believe) came in and said something to the effect of “Oh, and by the way... you have type 2 diabetes.”. Wait, what??

The results of the blood work I had done earlier showed my A1C level was WAY WAY WAY too high. If you’re not familiar with A1C, it’s a three month average of your blood sugar. A normal, healthy person’s A1C is probably 4.5 or so. Mine was 11.1. As my work supervisor said, I should have been in a diabetic coma! That’s an incredibly high and dangerous number. So, not only did I begin treatment for high cholesterol to help ease these numbness episodes, I immediately began treatment for type 2 diabetes. This included regular insulin injections throughout the day... in addition to the medication I had begun taking for the blockages. 

The meds I was taking for the numbness seemed to have worked. I had one last episode around 5:00pm the day I checked in to the hospital. And now, exactly a year later, I haven’t had another one since then. I was told that I would stay the night in the hospital for further observation. If my BP could get under control, I would be able to go home... tomorrow. I was spending the night in the hospital. 

I’m not going to lie. I was incredibly scared at this point. How would I explain to Turner and Sydney what was going on? How long would I have to stay here? Am I going to be okay? What’s actually going on? The questions were swirling. Jill brought the girls up to the hospital that evening and I explained to them, in plain english, exactly what was going on. They understood, which is good... because I didn’t want to hide anything from them (or Jill) anymore. 

A new journey was already underway.

After Jill and the girls left for the night, I had a little bit of a meltdown. Okay, maybe two... but they were interrupted by the constant flow of nurses coming to poke me with needles. I’m a good patient, though, and complied with all of the instructions I was given. The way I figured, if I followed instructions and did what I was told, I would get to go home sooner. 

It worked. I was ultimately discharged at about 5:30 on Tuesday... about 36 hours after arriving.

I met with a diabetic counselor to start the learning process (which is ongoing until this very day). I started on insulin while I was in the hospital and began checking my sugar (finger pricks) 4 times a day. I also made an appointment with a new primary care doctor for later that week. I was on my way!

After meeting with my doctor (which I’ve done regularly for the past year), I was able to get on a path to wellness. I used to eat absolute garbage... and HUGE portions of it, too. I also dropped the diet coke right away. To this day, I still don’t take in ANY caffeine. I immediately went low/no carb, low/no sugar, HIGH protein. I did have to drop beer, which is sad. I really enjoyed my nice, locally crafted IPA’s, but they have WAY too many carbs. I switched to bourbon, though. A suitable replacement, if you ask me. Ha ha! All throughout this process, I found that I have far more self control and will power than I ever imagined. At the risk of sounding cliche’, if *I* can make these changes, literally anyone can. 

In more recent days, I’ve found that I can take in a bit more carbs (and even some sweets) and still keep my sugar under control. I still can only eat smaller portioned meals and get full much quicker than I used to. I’m good for usually one big meal a day (usually dinner). I still keep the carbs way down, though. I’ve been able to learn how my body reacts to certain kinds of carbs and adjust my meals based on that. For instance, pizza doesn’t really affect me too terribly bad. French fries, however, aren’t as good. It’s stuff like that I’ve had to train on. It’s been a lot of trial and error, but in the long run, it’s worth it.

It hasn’t always been easy. There were plenty of times where a delicious piece of cake was waved under my nose... or a big pile of french fries were put in front of me. It was that fear of poor health that kept me away from those things, though. It was the motivation of wanting to walk my daughters up the aisle at both of their weddings. It was the notion of growing old with Jill, holding our grandchildren, and living a FULL. Once I found that motivation, it got easier. 

Early on in the journey, I would do things that weren’t so smart... like purposely withhold meals. I would say I wasn’t hungry, when in truth, I was afraid of food. I’m not proud of this and it’s definitely NOT the way to go. But you have to understand... I was making a complete 180 degree change in my lifestyle, and I didn’t really know what I was doing. There was also a medication had the main purpose of controlling my blood sugar levels. One of its side effects was that it would completely zap my appetite. That also caused me to skip a lot of meals. These days, my appetite is much better and healthier, and I rarely ever skip a meal. If I do, it’s because the previous meal was on the bigger side.

In the months that followed, I would make regular visits to my new doctor (which I still do to this day... about every three months). I have also been able to adjust my medication to almost nothing. Eventually, I was able to drop the insulin (and later, the metformin which is a popular drug for diabetics). I still take one pill to control my sugar as well as medication for cholesterol and blood pressure. 

The main thing that’s helped me was diet... because I HAAAATE exercise. Definitely not a fan. I admit that I probably would have gotten much further much quicker had I done literally ANY kind of exercise, but it is what it is. These days, I could probably stand to do some kind of exercise just to tone up what I have... and what I have is still kind of a “dad bod”... it’s just 85 pounds lighter than it used to be. ha ha!

I’ve had to get a completely new wardrobe, too! I went from a 40 inch waist to a loose 34 (33 would be perfect). I was squeezing into XL sized shirts (2X in some cases)... now, I’m mostly wearing size MEDIUM. Depending on the brand, LG shirts are sometimes a bit too loose. I tell ya what... the clothing part ALONE absolutely blows my mind! I had taken MANY BIG BAGS of clothes to a local thrift store. Also, we took Turner and Sydney to Old Navy a couple weeks ago to get new pants for the fall. While we were there, I decided to try on a couple shirts. You see, Old Navy doesn’t make clothes for people like me (or like how I used to be). The occasional XL sized t-shirt, maybe. But generally speaking, Old Navy wasn’t my store. Well, not only was I able to fit into a shirt, it was MEDIUM sized... not even large! Not gonna lie...I teared up a bit. That was a moment for sure. I brought home about 6 or 7 new shirts for the fall that day. I mean, wow.

I’ve been writing this blog in my heads for several months, and I feel like I’ve gotten everything written out, so I’ll wrap this up. I never knew how miserable I was before until I actually got healthy. I feel better now than I ever remember feeling. I’m sleeping better (and not snoring anymore, according to Jill), I have SO much more energy, and life, in general, is just.... better. 

As of today, I’m 85 pounds down, my blood pressure and cholesterol are at normal, healthy levels, and most importantly, my A1C is 5.0... well below the diabetic range. Even though my numbers are good, I’ll *always* be a diabetic, so I’ll always have to be careful about what I eat. 

Thank you to everyone who has expressed their congratulations. It means a lot... and hearing “Wow, you look great!” never (NEVER) gets old.

[jaydraws-tings]

BPS Event! ~Days End~

Jonathan huffed, his breaths came out in high pitched wheezes. He turned a corner quickly, spotting the rotting husk of a tree trunk. As quickly and quietly as he could he squeezed himself into it. He listened as best he could over his breathing. Footsteps, quick and stealthy came through the forest, multiple pairs of feet following behind him. Low growling, then a shift. They were gone.

Jonathan let go of the breath he was unconsciously holding. He adjusted himself in the trunks, moving to look at his shredded arm. A large gash spread from his shoulder down to his elbow. Blood drenched his torn sleeve. Jon bit his lip, trying his best to bend the arm, rendering the action useless when only more blood started to gush.

Jonathan groaned and made an attempt to wrap the wound, tearing the sleeve of his other arm. Blood started to soak through the moment it touched it making Jonathan wince. He let out a breath and gathered himself.

He growled and crouched, looking out from the trunk. He held his breath, listening as best as he could. No footsteps or breathing, none of them for now. He’d have to act fast. 

He hissed slowly, calming himself down. After a few seconds he dashed out, equipping his sword quickly. He listened out, quickly jumping and grabbing the limb of a tree with his good hand. He stabbed the bark with his sword in the other, struggling up the tree. A cold sweat broke over his body, he threw himself up again grabbing the next limb. After a struggle he made it up in time, just barely dodging two of the shadows. Their twitching groaning forms at the base of the tree. Jonathan blew out a breath, closing his eyes. He sat down on the limb he stopped on, taking out his pack. 

Rummaging through he smiled at the items he had packed just that morning, it was supposed to last him and his brother the trip it would take to kill the fucker they were contracted to. Medicine, food, water, bandages, extra blades, whatever would be needed to face their foe. As well as the tracker and info hub used to identify and help find the beast.

He took out some cream, delicately applying it to his wound. The bleeding hadn’t stopped because of the force of climbing. The cream helped with the burning, but Jonathan knew it would be a long time before he had rest. He wrapped his arm with spare bandages, wincing slightly. He sighed again, closing his eyes. 

It had been three weeks prior when they had first set out for Friars Forest. It was his brother and himself. Well adopted brother. Luke was already experienced in the hunt, he knew what he was doing. This was Jonathan’s maybe tenth mission since his tracker had started giving him missions. It was his second time working with someone else. They were both very excited to be contracted together. They always trained, talked of fighting and beings they’ve faced, they were prepared.

Well they weren’t half as prepared as they thought for this being. The Zakurath. One of the ancient ones. Luke was surprised that they were given this mission, considering many hunters had tried and never succeeded in killing her. But what was done was done, and all they could do was plan and train.

It went well at first, trailing the forest, sleeping in shifts, killing more and more shadows the deeper they went. Then, they made it to her dwelling. They had caught her off guard, the monster facing away from them when they had attacked. They thought they would be able to kill her all at once, but they were dead wrong. She turned facing them, with one swipe of her hand Luke was injured fatally. He screamed in pain, grasping his chest in pain. 

Jonathan almost couldn’t believe it, Luke was the strongest person he knew! How could she had survived. How did she hurt him so much with one hit! Jonathan tried to run to his brother, only for her chain to imbed itself into his shoulder. He almost couldn’t comprehend what had happened, the blood pouring from his open wound swirled down his arm. Luke screamed for Jon to run. When Jon looked up he was already gone, attacking Zakurath with the but if strength he had left. Jonathan turned and ran, tears slipping down his face.

It brought him to now. He was wounded, scared, and angry. With himself and the monster. With the contractor’s for giving them something they probably knew he couldn’t handle. Not that it would matter to them. Before he knew it, Jonathan was out.

The warm, disgusting breath on his face was what had woken him up. He screamed as several shadows fell upon him, dragging him not too gently out of the tree he was perched on. He tried to reach his sword but it was already discarded,the shadows were too strong for him. He realized with a bright and burning fear that they were taking him back to her. He really was going to die. He had no way of escaping this.

The cave was warmer than before. A low light made its way from deeper in the dwelling. Jonathan couldn’t stop the fear pounding in his chest. This was it.

Zakurath sat surrounded by shadows. Her naked body shimmered seemingly on its own, long white hair pooled around her. The shadows dragged Jon in front of her, sitting him down to face her. Her soft face looked blank, a sympathetic wince crossed her face. She reached over, surprised when Jonathan’s screaming at her.

She sat in front of him, waiting for him to settle. He glared at her through half lidded eyes. His huffs low and angry. The shadows grip on his arms tightened making him cry out. Zakurath took a few seconds, watching him silently. Finally she spoke.

“I’m sorry child.”

The words were raspy, low and melodious. Her eyes flicked between his wounded arm and the grip on his bandages. She waved her hand, causing the shadow to dissolve. However, Jonathan still couldn’t move. A type of chain weighing him down despite the shadows being gone.

“I didn't mean to hurt your brother as I did.”

Jonathan’s eyes snapped up to Zakurath, glaring her down. He refused to say anything to her.

“You humans are so fragile. So weak. I am truly sorry.”

Zakurath bowed, closing her eyes.

“You expect me to believe you?”

Jonathan’s voice was low. Barely sounding human. 

“You’ve killed how many men? How many women? You expect me to fucking believe you?”

Jonathan laughed, high pitched and afraid. Anger rose in his chest. He found himself screaming obscenities, cursing her to the darkest pits of hell. His screams became hoarse. Dissolving into sobs.

“I know I have killed many. My own brothers and sisters have killed many child. But, how can you blame us when your kind. Your hunters kill us all the same as we have to you in the past.”

Zakurath looked up, her eyes shining with remorse. 

“You hunt us as trophies, as bounties, to appease to a council who hasn’t risen a hand once in thousands of centuries. A council of whom has sent many of your kind into our bounds, allowing us to kill you. Sending you to your doom as they sit and do nothing. And I am so sorry for what I have done.”

She reached out touching Jonathan’s wounded shoulder. It started to burn, hot and intense forcing a scream out of his mouth. Tears trailed down his face as he was brought to his knees.

“I am sorry. But you have intruded into my forest, killed my shadows, and I cannot allow you to escape.”

Jonathan looked up to her, his eyes going in and out of focus. His head felt light it might explode. He tried his best to do something, anything, but nothing worked.

“I wish you eternal rest my child.”

That was the last thing he heard before his eyes closed. A cold spread through his body. Then he was gone.

As Jonathan’s body slumped to the floor, the shadows diverged on him consuming what had once been a human. Zakurath glanced down on him, standing and walking to the mouth of her cave. The warmth of the sun dawned on her face. The sun began to rise, slow and gentle. It marked the end of Jon’s days. Another hunter gone. Another day for humans won. And another end to wait for.

#BBS #Jays writing #h2o delirious #cartoonz #BPS event

[life-with-my-three]

Later and less severe.

The “norm” that made it feel like trying for another baby had fairly good odds for a healthy, near term baby.

That is until yesterday I got a frontal headache that medication wasn’t improving at all. After getting my butt kicked by my midwife for ignoring headaches I relented and went to my GP “just to rule out” a blood pressure cause.

Multiple cuffs and machines. Blood pressure 170/100.

Out of pregnancy I have LOW blood pressure. My GP wanted to call an ambulance to take me to the emergency department. I managed to convince her to let someone pick me up and take me.

By the time I got to emergency BP had dropped slightly to 155/110. Still above the “threshold”. Sat in the waiting room for 2 hours, to get called in by a doctor and straight away be told, “we’re not going to do any blood pressure related tests, because people don’t get pre e before 25 weeks”.

Saw my midwife this morning. Her opinion was essentially, the emergency doctor was an idiot, you definitely can get it before 25 weeks, before 20 is a grey area, but it CAN happen, it’s just hard to diagnose before then.

She spoke to the O&G doctor who agreed the ED doctor was an idiot and borderline negligent. I’ve been started on labetalol (bp med) and will start with a minimum of weekly appointments from now.

I’m technically not pre eclampsic yet, but they think I’m heading into formulating preeclampsia territory. I feel like a ticking time bomb.

I’m not religious, but I will take any prayers, or good thoughts, or anything really that we can at least make it to viability where baby girl stands a chance.

Why is my body failing this baby? Why can’t I stay pregnant and healthy for my babies.

[lesstestingmorelearning]

Story #25. Student: ‘You guys still focus on just numbers… I’m so tired of repeating that we are people.’

Throughout the United States, authorities’ obsession with standardized test scores has too often led to joyless classrooms and the elimination of art, music, and recess. In urban centers, the damage can be more immediate and traumatic. In Boston, the School Committee has voted to close two high schools that educate large numbers of recent immigrants who are still learning English as well as students with serious disabilities. The immediate stated cause of the closings was deferred maintenance that made the building unsafe, but authorities could have put the students into temporary “swing space” as they have done before when a building becomes unusable. Instead, they said declining enrollment and “academic challenges” (aka low standardized test scores) led them to close the two schools permanently. The fact that authorities had previously said these schools were of low quality undoubtedly contributed to falling enrollment. Central office officials stuck to their decision despite passionate objections from students, parents, and teachers who said the two targets are high-quality schools that have turned students’ lives around. Many students spoke out during the two months the School Committee considered the shut-down plan. One of them, Catari Giglio, spoke at all six Committee meetings between the day Interim Superintendent Laura Perille announced the plan and the School Committee’s vote to approve it. We’re posting Giglio's final statement, Dec. 19, 2018, before the vote.

Hello everyone, for the last time.

You know, it’s very hard for me to think about what I could say to you guys. I feel like I’ve run out of things to say, since now I can tell that even though we’ve repeatedly talked about how good of a community we are, you guys still focus on just numbers, numbers, and more numbers; that’s what we are to you guys. And I’m so tired of repeating that we are people, human beings. Not numbers.

I’ve heard people say that we don’t score well on tests. Well let me tell you what MCAS really is.

The Massachusetts Comprehensive Assessment System is the Commonwealth’s state-wide STANDARDS-BASED assessment, developed in 1993. 1993! We’re in 2018, basically already 2019. It’s been known to everyone that standard testing does not work for every single student in the world. You might be a great student but multiple-choice tests are not your best. You guys want us to fit a certain model, you guys want us to be ALL the same. Well if no one has yet, let me tell you, WE ARE NOT THE SAME. Not even our names are the same, we’re all different.

Some of us do better in science, some of us do better in English or math. You might be a straight A student that loves to learn but you still suck at testing, and that doesn’t make you stupid, that doesn’t mean teachers have failed to teach you, but it does show us that standard tests are not the way to go.

So who’s really failing? Us? Our teachers? Or is it the system? Because I can assure you that WREC has the best teachers I’ve ever met. I’ve seen how they teach and I’m so proud to say that I ever got to experience that. It’s the first year that I can say I truly understand algebra, and it’s not just because I put my head to it, it’s because I have a great teacher who takes the time to explain things to me and to the rest of the students, and it’s not just her, it’s in every class in this school.

Getting to another topic, BPS has made it known now that they want to transfer rising seniors to the Irving Middle School. Excuse me? I would like to ask each and every one of you, how was your senior year of high school?

Because I’m completely sure that it wasn’t in a random building with less than maybe 40 students. Does that sound like a good and enjoyable senior year to you guys?!

Well not for me. I’ve been dreaming about finally being a senior since I started my ninth-grade year. I remember being 13, looking at the seniors and thinking “Wow, some day I’m gonna be like them, all grown up, and walking around school like I own it,” and I’m sure I wasn’t the only one dreaming about that. We don’t deserve this. We deserve a true school, not a hallway or a floor in a building where we feel unwelcome and uncomfortable, like we’re out of place.

Today I will not be interrupted by any of you because I’m so tired of this, I’m so tired of me and my fellow classmates being treated like we don’t matter. I’m done.

When I finally grow up to have a child, if this system is still working like this, I will certainly not let him or her be in the BPS system. I’d rather raise them in another state. Because I can tell BPS doesn’t care just one bit about their students. And I want something different for my children.

After the vote, Giglio said she will transfer to another school rather than go to the Irving next year. “I’m not going to support their plan,” she said.

[capxtony]

43 please

Part 3/3 of prompts. AO3 link here.

“Squeeze my hand if you can hear me.”

Steve said, quietly but so it could clearly be heard in thesmall hospital room, with light pouring in the window, showing the countrysideoutside.

But Tony’s form remained unmoving.

Tony, however, was very much conscious. Just not in the waySteve would know. He wished he could squeeze his hand back, or ask him, rather,why the fuck are you holding my hand with your clammy fingers as if you’re nevergoing to let go? But he couldn’t do anything. He was paralysed, like in adream, like he was dying, even floating in a bottomless pit sometimes, andother times contrastingly rigidly still, and it was maddening.

He drifted in and out of consciousness, which was reallyannoying, because he could finally be able to understand what people in theroom were talking about, and then things would become fuzzy, and quieter, andthen he’d be out like a light, and had no clue how to tell how much time hadpassed by the next time he ‘woke up’ which was different to them to what itmeant to him.

One time, Tony called out to Steve, and Steve had smiledbrightly and come over to him, but then it went blurry and fuzzy and herealised it was probably a dream. His mind was getting achy. And when he wasawake, he also realised he was in pain in several parts of his body, and hedamn hoped they had him on pain meds.

“…Feel pain?” Someone’s voice. It was familiar.

“Not sure…don’t want to administer unnecessary…morphine.” Adoctor (presumably) said.

NO, put the damn morphine ON! He would have actually pleadedif he were able to.

“We’ll keep it on a low dose though, just in case.”

He could hear them more clearly now. His chest hurt andthere were throbbing pains throughout his stomach, at least he thinks it’sthere anyway; his throat is uncomfortably filled with a tube, so everything’stouch and go. He tried to wiggle his toes. He thought he did, and he gotexcited, but he heard voices around him, and they still sounded glum, and faraway, and he’d assumed he probably hadn’t moved, otherwise they would have gotexcited.

“It’s ok, I’ll stay with him.” Steve’s voice. His deepvelvety voice is close, which for some reason made Tony smile. Or want tosmile. Or smile in his head – whatever.

“You sure?” Romanoff?

“Yea.”

“Ok, well as long as you’re not guilt-laden and you don’tsulk for too long…”

Steve let out a little huff and smiled at Natasha. “No,really. I just wanna stay in case he wakes up.”

“Which he will,” she reassured, squeezing his shoulder.

Steve nodded, and grimaced goodbye as she left the room andhe was left alone, looking out the window on the other side of the room, andshuffling his hands on the bed next to Tony’s limp hands, hoping, waiting, notknowing what to do or what to say.

Steve had only gone to get some coffee, and was talking withHappy, who was here with Rhodey, when machines from inside Tony’s room wasbeeping where a doctor was already monitoring him. The doctor snapped toattention and called for his team, and before they knew what was happening theywere being ushered out of the way as multiple staff went in Tony’s room andswarmed him with machines, and they couldn’t see what was happening. Happy wasshouting at some staff, asking them worriedly what was going on, and Rhodey wastrying to get a peek in the window. Steve just stood there, frozen to the spot,his heart feeling like it had stopped, as he watched them carefully do theirjobs. Most of what they were saying was lost on him, but he still listened.

“BP’s dropping…He’s drowning!”“Drowning?” Rhodey said incredulously, “What the hell? What’s happening?”Steve felt sick, and gripped onto a chair, his hands clenching with dread.

–

Tony knew there was pain. Distantly, he felt the scorchingthrough his lungs and throat, and the bile in his stomach. But then he luckilypassed out.

He didn’t know how much time had passed, but he was awarethat his dream about introducing Steve to his parents while he was on morphineand in considerable pain, was, well, a dream. Then Bruce helped him out of it, thankfully,and he woke up. The first thing he noticed was the hospital smell of the sheetsnext to him, and then someone who smelled a bit sweaty. Steve was talking, and thenTony realised there was a big sweaty hand clamped around his tightly.

“…So I just, um. I hope y-you get better. Even if it isjust to shout at me. To reject me. I don’t care. Just wake up. Please,” Steve said mournfully, and thensniffed, and Tony realised he was crying. He was trying to decipher what he wassaying. He seemed to be the only person in the room.

“You will be worth saving every time and er…” Steve triedto regain his voice, swallowing thickly, taking a deep breath. “And Ireally…I just wish you could hear me now, hell, maybe you can, but I need youto know that. And I know this sounds like I’m a teenage boy pining, but…forsome reason, I don’t think I can do this without…No. I don’t think I want to do it without you. I mean, beinglove with you ain’t easy you know, so, er, come back to me. When you can. So wecan talk and you can make fun of me or…But know that I’m here. And I sure ashell ain’t going anywhere, not as long as you need someone to remind you howmuch you’re needed, wanted, loved.”

Tony felt like he was choking on air.

–

Steve was still holding onto Tony’s hand the next day. Hehad gone to get some sleep, but he didn’t feel well rested.

“S-s.”

Steve gasped and looked up, seeing that Tony’s lips hadmoved; it wasn’t his imagination.

“Tony? Oh my god. Nurse! Please…” He called out, andpressed the button on his bed to get their attention.

Tony began to choke around the tube down his throat.

“Hey, hey, it’s ok, don’t talk, it’s ok, they’re coming,”Steve said in a rush, wide-eyed, trying to reassure Tony, whose scared eyeswere now open and looking around.

A nurse and a doctor came in and slowly removed the tubefrom his throat. Steve had to move out of the way for them to do their thing, tomake sure he was okay.

Rhodey and the others came immediately and the doctors weretalking to them and Tony, who was responding well, they said. There was aproblem with his lung they had fixed, which happened during the explosion, buthe still needed to be monitored in the hospital for a little while. The doctorstold Steve it was a miracle that he was able to revive Tony, and it was becauseof him that he was alive, even if not in great shape. Steve had been thinkingthere was more that could have been done. But he was just hit with the realityof it all – that Tony really could have, honestly, died. For good. Lung toodamaged beyond repair.

After a while, Tony wanted to talk to Steve.

Tony grabbed onto his hand as he came to stand next to hisbed, which made him smile.

“Steve,” his voice was still small, which annoyed him.“Eheh,” he cleared his throat, tapping his chest. “Um, I er, this might be abit awkward, but…I heard what you said. Well, some things anyway.”

“What?”

“They told me I’ve been in a coma for like three weeks.Felt like it, too.”

“So, you were…you could hear me?”

Tony nodded.

“Oh.”

“Yea.”“Um…” Steve sat down, and dragged the chair closer to Tony, looking into hiseyes, as he smiled back, his hair ruffled, with a thin tube attached throughhis nose. He was doing better.

“How are you? How do you feel?”

Tony nodded, “Yea, I mean, not bad, considering.”

Steve nodded as well, swallowing. “I meant what I said.”

Tony looked at him for a beat, and he looked vulnerable.

“So…you’re really. Not going anywhere?” Tony asked.

Steve softened. “No. I – not if you don’t want me to.”“I don’t want you to.”

“Well, good, cause that…would have been a little awkward.”

Tony smiled at him, enjoying the adorable look on Steve’sface.

“You really…think you love me.”

“I don’t think. I’m pretty sure I know. It’s like – like Ican’t escape it, now I’ve realised it, you know what I mean?”

Tony nodded, though he didn’t know entirely what he meant.

“Do you want to like-” Tony was stuck for words somehow.Gosh, this whole thing was awkward.

“What?” Steve asked. Just then, Rhodey knocked on thewindow and they turned to look at him. Turns out he’d been listening a bit inon their conversation, with the door being a little open.

“He means he wants you too, you dumbass!” Rhodey said, “Youtwo have serious communication issues. Honestly,” Rhodey turned to the others,who laughed as he rolled his eyes, and then they filtered away to give themsome privacy as Tony glared at them.

“He’s right.”

Steve held up Tony’s hand and kissed it tenderly.

“That’s how it’s gonna be, huh?” Tony asked, lifting aneyebrow.

Steve smiled joyfully, “Oh, that’s how it’s gonna be.”

#stony fic #on ao3 #or on my tumblr somewhere #think that's finished now finally #angst and being in a coma yay #hurt!tony #wah #my stuff #no warnings except hospitals and injury #tell me what you think #? #:) #end: yes steve is now courting tony. yep.

[beautiful----trauma]

My first born. 

This pregnancy was a roller coaster;  I had just gotten insurance again, and my husband had just picked me up from work. It was a week before my birthday, and I knew something wasn’t right. I was going to wait until my vacation to make myself an OBGYN appointment because my period was irregular and I wanted to get on birth control. But I made the appointment that week, because my breasts felt like they were on fire for no reason. I had a small intuition I was pregnant; and so did my husband.  My first doctors appointment I was a little scared, the nurse asked me when was my last period and if I could even give an estimated date, but I couldn’t. I had to do labs for a pregnancy test, and was given a hormone to try to see if it was because of low estrogen, or maybe I had PCOS; neither was the case. 

I was walking to the bathroom while I was at work, and decided to see if my test results came back yet since I was anticipating the wait. As I placed my hand on the bathroom door; I froze. It was February 13th, and I remember not understanding whatever the terminology they used; I was positive for. Maybe I was in disbelief, or shock, I don’t know; but I remember emailing my doctor immediately asking her what it meant. I was pregnant. 

I texted my husband 30 minutes later because I was to excited to tell him, he was at work at the time and I deeply regret not waiting to tell him. 

I had another appointment immediately, to where they discussed all these scary possibilities. I was about 2 weeks pregnant at the time of this appointment, and  they did an internal ultrasound there where we saw the sac but no baby. Since there was no period to go off of, I had multiple possibilities. I had a miscarriage, She was ectopic, or I was too early to see a baby.  So for the next few weeks, I was scared and impatient for my next ultrasound at 6 weeks. But there she was! She looked like a little worm.  I wound up being gestational diabetic with her, had to completely change my diet around. I had to test my sugar every day, and eat certain foods and made SURE I was eating at least 3 times a day with healthy snacks in between meals. i Consumed a lot of McNuggets.  Towards the end of my pregnancy, I kept coming up with high BP. They weren’t going to let me reach my due date (October 13th, my moms birthday.) because they were concerned with how big she was. I was told any signs of high BP (headache for an example.) to come in.  October 2nd, 2018 I had a migraine from HELL. I tried sleeping it off, eating, shower, everything.  October 3rd, at almost noon, I decided to call the nurses hotline and explain to them what was going on. I was told to immediately go in to the doctors office. I was tested, and my BP was high again. They called GBMC-Towson, and told them to have me ready. Do not stop anywhere, just go straight to the hospital; I was going to be induced. I wound up not eating for 27 hours, and I was in Triage for 18 of those. 

October 4th, 2018 I was woken up at 9:30am, to being “checked” and my water broke. I got set up with an epidural, and wound up going back to sleep until it was time, woke up in pain and was 9.5cm dialated, They wanted to wait until I was 10cm, but they said that was good enough. I pushed for 1 1/2 hours until she couldn’t take the contractions anymore, and they used a vacuum to pull her down the birth canal to help assist me in pushing her out. 

at 6:36pm, Kiara made her way into the world at 8lbs 2oz

#Pregnancy #pregnant #pregnant stories #motherhood #parenthood #first born #first baby #daughter

[seokjins]

i have a few questions dance related because you obviously have passion for it and i love reading about things have passion for, anyway. I love Astro's dances and they always seem very sharp but my eye is drawn to Moonbin rather than rocky who is there main dancer and I dont know why. 2nd, Lisa is the main dancer of blackpink and people praise her nonstop but shes never stood out to me? Yeah shes good and maybe the best of bp but i was wondering if you ahd any analysis of her dancing

hmm i don’t know members/faces for ASTRO, but i can definitely talk about blackpink. i’ve always wanted to point out lisa’s dancing haha i’ve been noticing a few things with her

lisa’s a good dancer????????facts????? because clearly she’s better than the average person lol + all the dance practice she gets by being an idol definitely helps. the only reason i don’t like her AS MUCH as i the rest is because she’s been lacking in energy on broadcasts/variety

this is due to a variety of reasons:

being tired/having busy schedules/filming for many many hours (for shows like knowing bros and weekly idol

her outfit is not appropriate for dancing/she’s not wearing dancewear = uncomfortable on camera

she doesn’t want to flash the audience in those short skirts :/ she even had to change the opening choreo of AIIYL multiple times because the camera was positioned at a super low angle & she had to drop

TECHNIQUE-wise she’s also got room to improve. for me, lisa has good musicality and choreography interpretation. she knows how to move + what looks best on her while she does it. the major problem i have with her is that she no longer dances full out. i haven’t seen her really kill any combo since their rihanna pre-debut video.

all her moves are kept “internal”, so she’s playing it safe and not giving the piece her A game. it lacks a daring quality where she pushes both herself and the audience when it comes to her abilities. there’s no element of surprise, no question if she’s going to make the next move; lisa doesn’t expand her range as much as she can

that being said, she does have the assets to become a killer performer. she’s got long limbs and seems very controlled with their movement (because sometimes being too tall/gangly affects how fast dancers can move + makes them late, which is not good), so there’s no reason she isn’t dancing bigger; fuller. i want to see MORE out of lisa. i want to see how much she can do. 

i’m ok with the fact that she’s hitting all the counts sharply, but i want to see her do that while also taking a step above and beyond. i don’t want to go so far as to say she’s become stagnant in her dancing bc i have no idea where her limits are rn, but with the stuff she’s been given: she really isn’t selling it to me.

in blackpink, she is the best dancer for sure. she’s able to freestyle and maintain confidence in front of crowds/cameras when asked to show her abilities. that’s a crucial part of a dancer’s career; soloists will stand out in such a manner lol. in the dance world, however, she’s not doing so well. personally it’s not a problem for me because she’s also a rapper/performer/singer/idol, and there’s no way she can be JUST a dancer ~~

#replies: inbox #i hope this helped! #please message me with more questions if U guys have some :~D #dance tag #anon

[siva3155]

300+ TOP DIABETES Objective Questions and Answers

DIABETES Multiple Choice Questions :-

1. A patient arrives at the ED with a blood sugar of 578, serum osmolarity of 300, pH of 7.3, severe thirst, dehydration, and confusion. The patient is breathing rapidly and has a fruity breath smell. This patient has symptoms of...... A. Diabetic ketoacidosis B. hyperosmolar hyperglycemic noketotic coma C. Hypoglycemia D. diabetic neuropathy Ans: A 2. What are the micro vascular complications of uncontrolled diabetes? A. Delayed gastric emptying (Missed. B. Diarrhea C. Glomuerular injury (Missed. D. Bleeding of retinal caplillaries (Missed. E. Numbness of feet F. Impotence (Missed. Ans: B,E 3. The newly diagnosed diabetic patient asks the nurse why he needs to check his feet every day. The nurse's best response is.... A. To prevent leg amputation. B. To check for any cuts, sores, or dry cracked skin so they can be treated early to prevent infection or gangrene. C. To see if they hurt. D. You just need to do it. Ans: B 4. What are Macro vascular complications of uncontrolled diabetes? A. Pain in lower legs B. Hyperlipidemia (Missed. C. Impotence D. Ischemic heart disease (Missed. E. Aortic disection Ans: B,D 5. The nurse enters a patient's room and sees the patient breathing rapidly with a fruity breath smell. This is known as... A. Trousseau's B. Cullen's C. Kussmaul's D. Bitot's Ans: C 6. A patient with severe hypoglycemia arrives at the ED unconscious by ambulance. The nurse would first... A. Give regular insulin by IV B. Give NPH by IV C. Give 10-15 g CHO or Orange juice D. Give 1 mg glucagon Ans: D 7. The diabetic patient's lab work comes back with a pH of 7.4, serum blood sugar of 950, serum osmolarity of 460, pCO2 of 35, HCO3 of 25. The patient is confused and dehydrated. This patient is showing signs and symptoms of.... A. Diabetic ketoacidosis B. hyperosmolar hyperglycemic noketotic coma C. Hypoglycemia D. diabetic neuropathy Ans: B 8. The nurse enters a diabetic patient's room at 11:30 and notices that the patient is diaphoretic, tachycardic, anxious, states she is hungry, and doesn't remember where she is. This patient is most likely showing signs of what? A. hyperglycemic B. hypoglycemic C. diabetic ketoacidosis D. hyperosmolar hyperglycemic noketotic coma Ans: B 9. The nurse's first action upon finding a patient with mild hypoglycemia is to... A. Call the rapid response team B. Give 1 mg of glucagon C. Give 10-15 g of CHO or Orange juice D. Give insulin Ans: C 10. What is the number one complication of diabetes? A. Diabetic ketoacidosis B. Obesity C. Hypertension D. Cardiovascular disease Ans: D

DIABETES MCQs 11. A urine test in an undiagnosed diabetic may show........ A. glucose and ketones in the urine B. glucose and high amounts of bilirubin in the urine C. ketones in the urine D. ketones and adrenaline in the urine Ans: A 12. If a person has a fasting plasma glucose of 6.8mmol/L and a two-hour postprandial plasma glucose of 11.6mmol/L, should this person be suspected of having diabetes? A. Yes B. No C. Cannot decide Ans: A 13. A woman has a fasting plasma glucose of 5.9mmol/L and a two-hour postprandial plasma glucose of 7.6mmol/L. Are these values normal? A. No. B. Yes, according to the American Diabetes Association guidelines C. Yes, according to the World Health Organisation guidelines Ans: C 14. If a person has a random plasma glucose of 8mmol/L, is it normal? A. Yes B. No C. Not possible to tell Ans: C 15. There are a range of glucose values called "impaired glucose tolerance". What is the significance to a person who has impaired glucose tolerance? A. The person has an increased risk of developing diabetes B. The person has an increased cardiovascular risk C. Both the above D. None of the above Ans: C 16. Can the onset of new diabetes be prevented or delayed? A. Yes B. No Ans: A 17. Are there any laboratory tests to distinguish between Type 1 and Type 2 diabetes? A. Yes B. No Ans: A 18. Which statement below is CORRECT regarding initiation of long term insulin therapy in diabetes? A. Patients with Type 1 diabetes should be initiated on basal insulin alone B. Patients with Type 1 diabetes should be initiated on prandial insulin alone C. Patients with Type 2 diabetes should be initiated on basal insulin alone D. Patients with Type 2 diabetes should be initiated on prandial insulin alone Ans: C 19. Which statement below is TRUE with regard to these two insulin preparations: 1. Insulatard Insulin (NPH insulin. 2. Mixtard insulin (a pre-mixed combination of short acting and long acting insulin. A. Insulatard insulin and Mixtard insulin can be given at bedtime without the need for a bedtime snack B. Mixtard insulin can be given at bedtime without the need for a bedtime snack C. Insulatard insulin can be given at bedtime without the need for a bedtime snack Ans: C 20. Which of the statements below is true when initiating insulin in a Type 2 diabetic who is already on Metformin and Glibenclamide? B. Metformin must be stopped or the dose reduced C. Glibenclamide must be stopped or the dose reduced Ans: C 21. A patient with diabetes on Metformin and Glibenclamide is scheduled for a coronary angiogram. His diabetic control is good. Which of the statements below is TRUE? B. Metformin must be stopped before the procedure C. Glibenclamide must be stopped before the procedure D. No changes need to be made. He can undergo the procedure. Ans: B 22. Which statement below regarding the use of intravenous insulin for treating diabetic ketoacidosis is TRUE? A. Insulin should be given IV until the blood sugar is normal B. Insulin should be given IV until the acidotic state is controlled C. Insulin should be given IV until the patient is well hydrated Ans: B 23. What is the best method of controlling blood sugar in a diabetic who cannot take orally? A. Fixed dose insulin according to body weight given subcutaneously B. Insulin given subcutaneously according to a sliding scale C. Insulin given intravenously along with dextrose and potassium Ans: C 24. Is this statement true or false? The glycosylated hemoglobin value is a useful parameter when making decisions regarding the need for insulin in a Type 2 diabetic. A. True B. False Ans: A 25. Which type of diabetes is more common in children? A. Diabetes I B. Diabetes II Ans: B 26. Mickey's insulin gives her the lowest CBG 5 hrs after injection. Which insulin is Mickey taking? A. Novolog B. NPH C. NovologR D. Lantus Ans: D 27. The nurse has to give the pt HumologR. The nurse understands the medication when the nurse states the peak time is: A. 1-3 hr B. 2-4 hr C. 4-12 hr D. 5 hrs Ans: B 28. Ben comes into the ED with blurred vision. He has polyuria and complains of pain in his legs. Labs show that he has elevated insulin levels and high triglyceride levels. Ben also complains of always being thirsty. What type of Diabetes does Ben have? A. Diabetes I B. Diabetes II Ans: B 29. The nurse understands NovologR and when it ends by stating it ends: A. 3-5 hrs B. 3-6.5 hrs C. 5-7 hrs D. 18-24 hrs E. 24 hrs Ans: C 30. Can an infection cause a rise in GLU? A. Yes B. No Ans: A 31. Tony has to check his BG 5 days a week before breakfast and periodically at other times. He notices a rise of BG when he is sick. What type of diabetic is Tony? A. Diabetes I B. Diabetes II (Missed. C. Insulin Dependent D. Non Insulin Dependent (Missed. Ans: A,C 32. Ted is taking NPH insulin. The nurse knows Ted understands his medication when he states: A. It can start working in 10-30 minutes B. It can start working 1-2 hours after injection. (Missed. C. Peak action is 4-12 hours (Missed. D. It stays in the system 18-24 hrs. (Missed. Ans: A 33. Which type of insulin cannot be manually mixed in a syringe? A. Novolog B. Humolog C. NPH D. Regular E. Lantus Ans: E 34. The nurse understands Novolog when the nurse states the end time is: A. 3-5 hrs B. 3-6.5 hrs C. 5-7 hrs D. 18-24 hrs Ans: B 35. Nick was given Novolog insulin. The nurse knows that his breakfast should be available to Nick how many minutes after taking his meds? A. immediately to 2.5 hrs B. 2-4 hrs C. 4-12 hrs D. 5 hrs Ans: A 36. Mary has a skin infection that wont go away. Her BP is 135/90. She has dark amber urine. She also reports that she has reoccurring vaginal infections. Her GLU comes back at 135. What type of diabetes does she have? A. LADA B. Diabetes I C. Diabetes II D. Pre Diabetes Ans: D 37. NIDDM acounts for 90% of diabetics. What are some thing that a NIDDM diabetic could do to help their disease? A. Avoid exercise B. reduce body fat by 5% (Missed. C. maintain excellent skin health (Missed. D. Rub lotion in their feet, but no in between their toes. (Missed. Ans: A 38. Lucy has just given birth. She had gestational diabetes and did not have to take insulin. She is very concerned that will now have to take insulin for the rest of her life. What does a nurse say to educate Lucy about her condition? A. Proper instruction of foot care. B. 25-50% of women will eventually develop type 2 diabetes. (Missed. C. Losing the baby fat will help. (Missed. D. Education on what type of insulin she will need. Ans: A,D 39. Bill is in the ED presenting with a BP of 60/45 and is responsive to painful stimuli. His Na is 180 and BUN is 65. His wife states he is a type 2 diabetic but has been sticking to his diet. His insulin lab came back low. What is wrong with Bill? A. Hyperosmolar Hyperglycemic Nonketoitic Syndrome B. Diabetic Ketacidosis C. LADA D. Hyperglycemic Ans: A 40. Ana is a long distance runner with diabetes. She understands her need for testing when she states: A. i should test before and after exercise (Missed. B. I should test after exercise C. I should test before and after each meal and bedtime D. If I feel like my BG is low, I should test (Missed. Ans: B,C 41. Cynthia is getting NovologR. The nurse knows that Cynthia needs more education when she states: A. I need to check my BG throughout the day. B. I need to be consistent with insulin usage. C. I need to eat a large meal before taking my insulin D. My insulin can be in my system for 5-7 hours. Ans: C 42. Manifestations of hypoglycemia would entail: A. Anxiety (Missed. B. Hyperactions C. Tachycardia (Missed. D. Confusion (Missed. Ans: B 43. Insulin is measure in: A. Ml B. Dl C. units D. Tsp Ans: C 44. Which is most dangerous? A. hypoglycemia B. Hyperglycemia Ans: A 45. Nathan's AIC comes back at 9%. The nurse understands this value by stating to the pt: A. Your diabetes is under control. B. Your diabetes has shifted to Diabetes I. C. Your diabetes needs further intervention. D. Call the coroner and make an appointment if you don't plan on taking this more seriously! Ans: C 46. After giving insulin, what is the most critical observation that needs to be made? A. Tachycardia B. Bradycardia C. Hyperglycemia D. Hypoglycemia Ans: D 47. The nurse understand NPH when the nurse says NPH ends: A. after a heavy meal B. 18-24 hrs after injection C. 12 hrs after injection D. When HumologR has been injected. Ans: B 48. What risk factors increase diabetic foot problems? A. Sensory neuropathy (Missed. B. PVD (Missed. C. Smoking (Missed. D. Alcohol Ans: D 49. Humolog begins to take affect: A. 15 min B. 10-30 min C. 30-60 min D. 1-2 hrs E. 1.1 hrs (Your Answer. Ans: A 50. Linda is taking Lantus. She understands her medication when she states: A. it can start in 1.1 hr. (Missed. B. peaks 4-12 hours C. it ends in 24 hrs (Missed. D. it cannot be mixed with other insulins in the same syringe. (Missed. Ans: B DIABETES Objective type Questions with Answers 51. Lupe is in the ED. She has anorexia, abdominal pain, acetone breath, polyuria and is confused. She has ketones present in her urine. She is pre diabetic with a glu of 650. What is Lupe's problem? A. She was misdiagnosed and should be a type 1 diabetic. B. Hyperosmolar Hyperglycemic Nonketoitic Syndrome C. Diabetic Ketacidosis D. LADA Ans: C 52. Gladus is in for her physical. She is a 54 year old woman with a lot of energy. She is mildly overweight. Her BP is 130/85. As part of her physical, the doctor discovers her GLU is 350. He orders a fasting plasma glucose and her levels come back 130 the first day and 275 the second day. What does this indicate? A. Diabetes I B. Diabetes II C. LADA Ans: B 53. Nicole is a chronic alcoholic. She drinks a bottle of wine every night and hard liquor on the weekends. She has been fatigued and has blurry vision. The doctor tells her she now has diabetes II. She doesn't understand how she could have diabetes as it does not run in her family. What education would the nurse give to the patient? A. Explain that the alcohol caused her diabetes. B. Insulin will not be affected by her drinking C. Encourage her to attend AA meeting even though she doesn't want to. D. Using therapeutic communication, help her to see that this is her fault and must accept she has ruined her life. Ans: A 54. Neuropathy occurs only in type 2 diabetics? A. Yes B. No Ans: B 55. Pat is a 45 year old female presenting with 83/60 BP, and elivated BUN and a GLU of 879. She reports that she is not on a diet but has been losing weight rapidly and has fatigue. What type of diabetes does she have? A. Diabetes I B. Diabetes II C. LADA Ans: C 56. NPH insulin has been prescribed to the pt. The nurse understands NPH when the nurse states: A. NPH acts quickly. B. NPH peaks at 4-12 hrs (Missed. C. NPH is a mixture of rapid and slow acting (Missed. D. NPH low CBG will most likely be around 5 hrs. Ans: A,D 57. Hypoglycemia is related to : A. reduced insulin and increased glucose B. increased insulin and reduced glucose (Missed. C. may occur when very high blood glucose falls too rapidly (Missed. D. failure to eat (Missed. Ans: A 58. The nurse understands NPH and how quickly it starts when the nurse states: A. 10-30 min B. 30-60 min C. 1-2 hrs D. 1.1 hours Ans: C 59. HumologR has been given to Melisa at 13:30. When would Melisa need her snack or lunch? A. 14:30 B. 16:30 C. 15:30 D. 14:00 Ans: C 60. Keith has just been diagnosed with diabetes. His diabetes is an autoimmune disorder. He has lost 15 lbs in two weeks and has polyuria. His BP was 75/45 on admission. What type of diabetes does Keith have? A. Diabetes I B. Diabetes II Ans: A 61. What substance is found in the blood and urine of an undiagnosed diabetic? A. insulin B. adrenaline C. ketones D. bilirubin Ans: C 62. A normal FASTING blood glucose in a non-diabetic is A. 80 to 110 B. 40 to 80 C. 120 to 150 D. 150 to 200 Ans: A 63. Hyperglycemia is when...... A. the blood sugar is too low B. the blood sugar is normal C. there is sugar in the urine D. the blood sugar is too high Ans: D 64. If diabetes goes untreated for a long time, what disease can develop? HINT:patients must be hospitalized for successful treatment of this condition A. hypoglycemia B. diabeticketoacidosis C. ketosis D. hyperglycemia E. ketourina Ans: B 65. What are the three most COMMON symptoms of diabetes? A. headaches vomiting constant illness B. intolerable thirst constant urination weight loss C. double vision infections constant urination D. tingling of the feet slow healing wounds weight loss E. intolerable thirst vomiting heart burn Ans: B 66. What is one cause of diabetes? MORE THAN ONE RIGHT ANSWER A. virus (Missed. B. antibody mistake (Missed. C. too much sweets D. genetics (Missed. E. bacteria Ans: C,E 67. Name both types of diabetes SCIENTIFICLY A. Type 1 and Type 2 B. Old Diabetes and Young Diabetes C. Juvenile Diabetes and Adult-Onset Diabetes D. Brittle Diabetes and Insulin Dependant Diabetes Ans: C 68. Can diabetes kill you? A. Yes B. No C. Only if you're a certain race Ans: A 69. An insulin pump's site must be changed...... A. once a week B. never C. every three days D. every day E. every five days Ans: C 70. Aspart insulin is also referred to as...... A. long acting insulin B. short acting insulin C. intermediate acting insulin Ans: B 71. Why does a Long-Acting-Insulin shot hurt more than a Short-Acting-Insulin shot A. Because it is a bigger shot B. Because Long-Acting-Insulin has preservatives in it to keep it working the full 20 to 24 hours C. Because you use a different needle to deliver Long-Acting-Insulin Ans: B 72. If a person does not like the insulin needle or pump, they want might to try the...... A. syringe B. moniter C. pen D. inhaler Ans: C 73. About how many Americans have diabetes A. 5 million B. 47 million C. 21 million D. 16 million E. 33 million Ans: C 74. What food can make you have a high blood sugar? A. nuts B. water C. yogurt D. pizza E. bread Ans: D 75. A urine test in an undiagnosed diabetic may show........ A. glucose and ketones in the urine B. glucose and high amounts of bilirubin in the urine C. ketones in the urine D. ketones and adrenaline in the urine Ans: A 76. A slice of bread has about how many carbohydrates? A. 5 carbs B. 30 carbs C. 15 carbs D. no carbs E. 25 carbs Ans: C 77. Which is not true about Diabetes? A. the blood sugar may go out of control B. the person may be hospitalized if they are not treating the diabetes C. Diabetes can be completely cured D. diabetes can be associated with nausea Ans: C 78. When you are sick, the blood sugar may....... A. be normal B. very low C. higher than usual D. lower than usual Ans: C 79. In a newly-diagnosed patient who is in the hospital, their first major goal is to..... A. have their blood sugars go back to normal B. clear their ketones C. get an insulin pump Ans: B 80. Ketones are produced by......... A. not having insulin B. a high blood sugar C. fat breakdown D. passing urine with sugar in it Ans: C 81. What are the 3 main factors to success with diabetes? A. food exercise insulin B. food insulin ketones C. exercise ketones insulin Ans: A 82. People with diabetes can lead normal lives? A. Yes B. No C. Only some Ans: A 83. Diabetes is a world wide disease A. True B. False Ans: A 84. Which of the following is a symptom of diabetes? A. Pregnancy B. Mood Swings C. Blurred Vision D. Loss of Hearing Ans: C 85. What is the medicine that is injected into your body by a needle? A. Insulin B. Sugar C. Glucose D. Diabetic Solution Ans: A 86. What is a test you can get at the doctor to see if you have diabetes? A. Blood Test B. X-ray C. MRI D. Diabetes test Ans: A 87. How many different types of diabetes are there? A. 1 B. 2 C. 3 D. 5 Ans: B 88. 1. Secretory product associated with pancreatic alpha cells: A. A. insulin B. B. proglucagon C. C. somatostatin D. D. pancreatic polypeptide E. E. insulin and somatostatin Ans: B 89. 1. Major manisfestations of diabetes mellitus: A. A. inappropriate hyperglycemia B. B. disordered metabolism C. C. both D. D. neither Ans: C 90. 1. Type I diabetes: A. A. most often presents in adults B. B. anabolic metabolic disorder C. C. circulating insulin is virtually absent D. D. glucagon levels are low E. E. ketoacidosis is rarely seen Ans: C 91. 1. Extrinsic factors which may affect pancreatic B cell function: A. A. mumps virus B. B. toxic chemicals C. C. coxsackievirus D. D. mumps virus and toxic chemicals E. E. mumps virus, toxic chemicals and coxsakievirus Ans: E 92. What is prediabetes? A. When blood glucose levels are higher than normal but not high enough for diagnosis. (Correct Answer. B. When your diabetes is in submission until you turn forty Ans: A 93. Type 1 diabetes was previously known as what? A. Endrino diabetes B. Juvenile diabetes Ans: B 94. What is the most common type of diabetes? A. Type 1 diabetes B. Type 2 diabetes C. Pre-diabetes Ans: B 95. There is always symptoms when you have diabetes. A. True B. False Ans: B 96. Type I diabetes is characterized by: A. resistance to insulin B. autoantibodies C. complicated by HHS Ans: B DIABETES Interview Questions and Answers pdf Download Read the full article

[stilinskiimagines]

Grey's Anatomy//Teen Wolf AU - Part 2

Characters: Scott McCall, Stiles Stilinski, Lydia Martin, Kira Yukimura, Isaac Lahey, Alan Deaton, Vernon Boyd, Braeden, Reader.

Stiles was about to go into surgery. It was a routine surgery, a simple appendectomy, but all that mattered was that he was the first intern to go into surgery. You were all gathered in the gallery to watch.

You heard people whispering, making fun of him. “Ten bucks says he messes up the McBird.”

“Twenty says he cries.“ Kira nods.

“I’ll put twenty on a total meltdown.” Someone in the back says.

“Fifty says he pulls the whole thing off.” You say. Everyone looks at you, silent. “That’s one of us down there. The first one of us. Where’s your loyalty?” Everyone stays quiet a bit longer.

“Seventy-five says he can’t even ID the appendix.” Kira blurts out. You sigh.

“I’ll take that action.” Lydia nods and everyone mutters in agreement.

You watch as he grabs the scalpel from the scrub nurse, the scrub cap on his head is a bit too big, it makes him look like a little boy. Everyone cheers and Boyd motions from the OR for everyone to shut up.

“That Boyd…he’s trouble.” Kira grins and everyone laughs.

You glance at the camera, listening to Stiles and Boyd. “Damn, he got the peritoneum and he opened him up.” Someone says.

“I told you he’d pull it off.” You mutter.

“Scalpel.” Stiles sticks his hand out.

“Scalpel.” The nurse repeats and hands it to him.

“Appendix is out.” Stiles takes it out and sits it on the tray, inciting cheers.

“Now all you have to do is invert the stump into the secum and simultaneously pull up on the purse-strings but be careful not to..” There’s a ripping sound. “break them.” Boyd groans. “He ripped the secum. Got a bleeder. You’re filling with stool, what do you do now?”

“Uh…” Stiles looks panicked. “Uh…”

“Think. You start the suction, you start digging for those purse-strings before she bleeds to death. Get him a clamp.”

“BP’s dropping.” A nurse states.

Kira sits forward in her seat, “He’s choking.”

“Come on, Stiles.” You stare intently at the screen.

“Today. Pull your balls out of your back pocket, let’s go. What are you waiting for? Suction.” Boyd is becoming impatient.

The monitor begins to beep. “Getting too low, folks.” A nurse says.

“Get out of the way.” Boyd pushes Stiles back. “Pansy-ass idiot. Get him out of here. Suction. Clamp.”

“007.” An intern behind you mutters. You turn to look at him, he has curls falling in his face and he’s sitting in his chair like he’s at his mom’s house.

“007. Yep. He’s a total 007.” Another intern says.

“What’s 007?” Lydia asks.

“Licensed to kill.” You mumble.

You’re sitting in the spare beds in the hallway. “007. They’re calling me 007, aren’t they?” Stiles sighs.

“No one’s calling you 007.” You and Lydia say in unison.

“I was on the elevator and Murphy whispered 007.” Stiles pouts.

“Oh, how many times do we have to go through this, Stiles? Five? Ten? Give me a number or else I’m going to hit you.” Kira groans.

“He wasn’t talking about you.” Lydia nods.

“You sure?” Stiles looks over at her.

“Would we lie to you?” You raise an eyebrow.

Stiles is quiet for a moment, “Yes.”

“007 is a state of mind.” Kira shrugs.

“Says the girl who finished top of her class at Stanford.” Stiles shakes his head. “Maybe I should’ve gone into geriatrics. No one minds when you kill an old person.” He lets his head fall onto the wall.

“Surgery is hot, it’s the Marines, it’s the macho, it’s hostile, it’s hardcore. Geriatrics is for freaks who live with their mothers and never have sex.” Kira shrugs.

“I’ve got to get my own place.” Stiles sighs.

“4B’s got post-op pneumonia. Let’s start antibiotics.” You hear the intern that started 007 say.

“Are you sure that’s the right diagnosis?” The nurse asks.

“Well I don’t know, I’m only an intern. Here’s an idea, why don’t you go spend four years in med school and let me know if it’s the right diagnosis. She’s short of breath, she’s got fever, she’s post-op. Start the antibiotics.” He walks over to you. “God I hate nurses. I’m Isaac. I’m with Jeremy, you’re with the Nazi, right?”

You glance up at him, “She may not have pneumonia, you know. She could be splinting, or have a PE.”

He scoffs, “Like I said, I hate nurses.”

“What did you just say? Did you just call me a nurse?” You cross your arms.

He shrugs, “If the white cap fits…”

Your pager goes off and you begin to walk away.

“She seeing anybody?” Isaac leans over to Stiles.

“I don’t know.” Stiles shrugs.

Isaac whistles, “She’s hot.”

“I’m friends with her. I mean, kinda friends, I mean…not, you know, actually friends. Not exactly, but we’re tight. We hang out. I mean really only today-”

“Dude.” Isaac interrupts.

“But-” Stiles starts again.

“Dude. Stop talking.” Isaac shakes his head.

You walk into the room, your patient was on the bed, seizing. “What took you so long?” A nurse asks.

“She’s having multiple grand mal seizures, now how do you want to proceed? Dr. Y/L/N? Are you listening to me? She’s got Diazepam, 2 milligrams of Diazepam, I just gave her a second ago, Dr. Y/L/N, you need to tell us what you want to do. Dr. Y/L/N!” Another nurse shouts.

You’re panicked, you don’t know what to do. “Okay, she’s full on Prazepam?” You pick up her chart.

“She’s had 4 milligrams.” A nurse answers.

“Did you page Dr. Bailey and Dr. McCall?”

“The Prazepam’s not working.” A nurse says.

“Phenobarbital. Load her with Phenobarbital.” You nod.

“Pheno’s in.”

“No change.” A third nurse says.

“You paged Dr. McCall?” You ask.

“I just told you.”

“Well, page him again! Stat!”

“What do you want to do? Dr. Y/L/N, you need to tell us what you want to do!” A nurse looks at you. The monitor beeps. “Heart’s stopped!”

“Code blue, code blue! Code blue, code blue!” They pull out the defibrillators.

You take them, suddenly feeling in control. “Charge pulse of 200.” You yell.

“Charged. 200.”

You defib.

“Still defib. Nothing.” A nurse tells you. “Charging. 19 seconds.”

“Charge to 300.” You order.

“300. Anything? 27 seconds.”

“Charge to 360.” You defib again. Nothing. “Come on, Katie.” You mutter.

“49 seconds..” A nurse alerts you. “At 60 seconds you’re supposed to admit her…”

“Charge again!” You defib and her blood pressure registers.

“I see sinus rhythm. BP’s coming up.”

Scott runs in, “What the hell happened?”

“She had a seizure and-” You start.

“A seizure?” He repeats.

“Her heart stopped.”

“You were supposed to be monitoring her.” Scott sighs.

“I checked on her and she-”

“I got it. Just…just..go. Someone give me her chart, please.” He waves you out of the room and you leave.

You approach Bailey, “You get a 911, you page me immediately, not in the five minutes it takes you to get to the emergency…immediately, you are on my team and if somebody dies it’s my ass.” You walk past her. “You hear me, Y/L/N?”

“Y/N?” Kira raises an eyebrow.

You walk past her and she follows you out the front hospital doors, it’s pouring rain. You throw up in the grass. You stand up and sigh before walking back in. “If you tell anyone about this, ever…” You threaten her.

You find her later in the skills lab. “What are you doing?”

“I’m suturing a banana, in the vain hope it keeps my brain awake.”

Stiles laughs.

“What are you laughing at, 007?” She glares at him.

Stiles returns the glare, “You know what? I don’t care. I comforted a family today and I get to hang out in the OR. All is well.”

All of the interns are packed in a small room. Scott walks in and looks at everyone. “Well good morning. I’m going to do something pretty rare for a surgeon, I’m going to ask interns for help. I’ve got this kid, Katie Bryce. Right now, she’s a mystery. She doesn’t respond to her meds. Labs are clean, scans are pure, but she’s having seizures. Grand mal seizures with no visible cause. She’s a ticking clock. She’s going to die, if I don’t make a diagnosis. Which is where you come in. I can’t do it alone. I need your extra minds, extra eyes, I need you to play detective, I need you to find out why Katie is having seizures. I know you’re tired, you’re busy, you’ve got more work than you could possibly handle. I understand. So, I’m going to give you an incentive. Whoever finds the answer rides with me. Katie needs surgery. You get to do what no interns get to do. Scrub in to assist on an advanced procedure. Dr. Bailey’s going to hand you Katie’s chart. The clock is ticking fast, people. If we’re going to save Katie’s life, we have to do it soon.”

Everyone grabs a copy of the chart and runs out the door.

“Look, give the antibiotics time to work.” Isaac crosses his arms.

“The antibiotics should’ve worked by now.” The nurse argues.

Isaac sighs, “She’s old. She’s freaking ancient. She’s lucky she’s still breathing. Now, I’ve got a shot to scrub in downstairs with a patient who wasn’t alive during the civil war. Don’t page me again.” He walks away and Kira approaches you.

“Hey, I want in on McCall’s surgery. You’ve been the intern on Katie since the start. You want to work together? We find the answer we have a fifty-fifty shot of scrubbing in.”

“I’ll work with you, but I don’t want in on the surgery. You can have it.” You nod.

Kira looks taken aback, “Are you kidding me? It’s the biggest opportunity any intern will ever get.”

“I don’t want to spend any more time with McCall than I have to.” You shake your head.

She raises an eyebrow, “What do you have against McCall?”

“If we find the answer, the surgery’s yours. Do you want to work together or not?” You avoid her question. She grins and nods her head.

“Well, she doesn’t have anoxia, chronic renal failure, or acidosis. It’s not a tumor because her CT’s clean. Are you seriously not going to tell me why you won’t work with McCall?” Kira’s sitting in the library with you.

“No. what about infection?” You glance at a book.

“No. There’s no white count. She has no ceteal lesions, no fevers, nothing in her spinal tap…” She sighs. “Just tell me.”

You close the book and look up at her, “You can’t make a face, comment, or react in anyway. We had sex.”

Kira opens her mouth and closes it, “…what about an aneurysm?”

You shake your head, “No blood on the CT, and no headaches.”

“Okay..there’s no drug use, uh..no pregnancy, no trauma…was he good? I mean, he looks like he would be…was it any good?”

You don’t answer her question, “What are the answers? What if no one comes up with anything?” You groan.

“You mean if she dies?”

You nod, “Yeah.”

“This is going to sound really bad, but I really wanted that surgery.” Kira sighs.

“She’s just never going to get the chance to turn into a person. The sum total of her existence will be almost winning Miss Teen whatever. You know what her pageant talent is?” You ask Kira.

“They have talent?” She raises an eyebrow.

“Rhythmic gymnastics.” You deadpan and you both laugh.

“Oh, come on.” Kira shakes her head.

“What is rhythmic gymnastics? I don’t know…I can’t even say it, I don’t know what it is.” You laugh.

“Isn’t it like something with a ball, and a-” You go still and Kira stops talking. “…what? Y/N, what?”

“Get up! Come on!” You jump up. The both run out of the library. You walk by the elevator while Kira’s talking to you. She spots Scott and holds the door.

“-the only thing she could possibly need is a-..Oh, oh, Dr. McCall! Just one moment, um, uh, Katie competes in beauty pageants-”

“I know that, but we have to save her life anyway.” Scott shrugs

“Okay, she has no headaches, no neck pain, her CT’s clean, there’s no medical proof of an aneurysm…” Kira explains.

“Right.” Scott nods.

“But what if she has an aneurysm anyway?” She suggests.

“There are no indicators.” Scott looks at her.

“Ah, but she twisted her ankle, a few weeks ago when she was practicing for the pageant-”

“Look, I appreciate that you’re trying to help, but-”

“This is not helping!” Another doctor in the elevator shouts.

“She fell. When she twisted her ankle, she fell.” You explain to him.

“It was no big deal, not even a bump on the head, you know she got right back up, iced her ankle and everything was fine, it was a fall so minor her doctor didn’t even think to mention it when I was taking her history, but she did fall.” Kira nods.

“Well, you know the chances that a minor fall could burst an aneurysm, one in a million! Literally.” Scott shakes his head.

The both of you step back and sigh, letting the doors close. You hear a ding and look up, Scott walking out of the elevator.

“Let’s go.” He nods.

“Where?” Kira asks.

“To find out if Katie Bryce is one in a million.”

Yore in the scan room, looking at Katie’s recent scan. “I’ll be damned.” Scott shakes his head. “It’s minor, but it’s there. It’s a cerebachnoid haemorrhage. She’s bleeding into her brain.”

The three of you are walking down the hallway.

“She could’ve gone her entire life without it ever being a problem. One tap in the right spot-” Scott explains.

“And explode.” Kira nods.

“Exactly. Now I have to fix it. You two did great work. Love to stay and kiss your asses, but I gotta tell Katie’s parents she’s having surgery. Katie Bryce’s chart, please.” He says to reception.

“Oh, and Dr. McCall, you said that you’d pick someone to scrub in if we helped.” Kira calls out. “Oh, yes, right. Um, I’m sorry I can’t take you both, it’s going to be a full house. Y/N, I’ll see you in OR.”

You and Kira stay planted to your seats, shocked as Scott leaves.

Kira is clearly upset. “Kira..” She walks away, glaring at you over her shoulder.

You approach her and Lydia in the hallway. “I’ll tell him I changed my mind, you can-”

“No, no, don’t do me any favors. It’s fine.” Kira shakes her head.

“Kira…” You start.

“You know what, you did a cutthroat thing, deal with it. Don’t come to me for absolution, you want to be a shark, be a shark.” Kira waves her hands.

“I’m not-” You try to explain yourself.

“Oh, yes you are. Only it makes you feel all bad in your warm gooey places. No, screw you. I don’t get picked for surgeries because I slept with my boss, and I didn’t get into med school because I have a famous mother. You know, some of us have to earn what we get.” Kira rants. You didn’t know she knew about your mother.

You’re in the OR with Scott, he’s shaving Katie’s head. “I promised I’d make her look cool. Apparently being a bald beauty queen is the worst thing that happened in the history of the world.”

Did you choose me for the surgery because I slept with you?“ You raise an eyebrow.

"Yes.” Scott deadpans. “I’m kidding.”

“I’m not going to scrub in for surgery. You should ask Kira. She really wants it.” You shake your head “You’re Katie’s doctor. And on your first day, with very little training, you helped save her life. You earned the right to follow her case to the finish. You…you shouldn’t let the fact that we had sex get in the way of you taking your shot.” Scott looks at you.

You sit outside with Stiles. “I wish I wanted to be a chef. Or a ski instructor. Or a kindergarten teacher.” You sigh.

“You know, I would’ve been a really good postal worker. I’m dependable. You know, my dad tells everyone he meets that his son’s a surgeon. As if it’s a big accomplishment. A superhero or something. If he could see me now…” Stiles shakes his head.

“When I told my mother I wanted to go to medical school, she tried to talk me out of it. Said I didn’t have what it takes to be a surgeon. That I’d never make it. So, the way I see it, superhero sounds pretty damn good.” You shrug.

Stiles looks at you, “We’re going to survive this, right?”

Later you’re inside with Deaton and Isaac. Deaton was the chief of surgery.

“She’s still short of breath. Did you get an ABG or a chest film?” Deaton asks.

“Oh, yes sir, I did.” Isaac nods. “And what did you see?”

“Oh, well, I had a lot of patients last-”

“Name the common causes of post-op fever.” Deaton interrupts.

“Uh…yes, sir.” He pulls a notebook from his pocket.

“From your head. Not from a book. Don’t look it up, learn it, it should be in your head. Name the common causes of post-op fever.” Deaton crosses his arms.

“Uh…the common causes of post-op…” Isaac starts. “Can anybody name the common causes of post-op fever?” Deaton shouts.

“Wind, water, wound, walking, wonder drugs. The five W’s. Most of the time it’s wind, splinting, or pneumonia. Pneumonia’s easy to assume, especially if you’re too busy to do the tests.” You speak up.

Deaton gives Isaac a look before turning to you. “What do you think’s wrong with 4B?”

“The fourth W, walking. I think she’s a prime candidate for a pulmonary ambulus.” You nod. “How would you diagnose?”

“Spinal CT, VQ scan, provide O2, dose with Heparin, and consult for an IVC filter.” “Do exactly as she says, then tell your resident that I want you off this case.” Deaton says to Isaac. “I’d know you anywhere, you’re the spitting image of your mother. Welcome to the gang.” He smiles at you.

You’ve scrubbed in on Katie’s surgery, you’re in the OR with Scott.“

"All right everybody, it’s a beautiful night to save lives, let’s have some fun.” Scott says as the scrub nurse gloves him.

You spot Kira in the gallery.

After the surgery, Kira comes to find you, “It was a good surgery.”

“Yeah.” You nod.

Kira sits and sighs,“ We don’t have to do that thing where I say something, and then you say something, and then somebody cries, and there’s like a moment…”

“Yuck.” You laugh.

“Good. You should get some sleep. You look like crap.”

You scoff, “I look better than you.”

“It’s not possible.” Kira gets up and leaves.

Scott comes in, glancing at paperwork.

“That was amazing.” You sigh.

“Mmmm.” Scott continues looking at the paperwork.

“You practice on cadavers, you observe, and you think you know what you’re going to feel like standing over that table, but…that was such a high.” Scott looks at you and nods. “I don’t know why anybody does drugs.” You smile.

“Yeah.” Scott nods.

“Yeah.” You repeat.

Scott smiles, “I should go do this.”

“You should.” You nod.

Scott leaves, I’ll see you around.“

"See you around. See ya.”

After work you go to visit your mother. You walk inside the building, stopping a reception. You spot your mother in the corner of the room and you walk over to her.

“Are you the doctor?”

“No. I’m not your doctor. But I am a doctor.” You say.

“What’s your name?”

“It’s me, mom. Y/L/N.”

“All right.” She plays with her watch, “I used to be a doctor, I think.”

You take her hand, “You were a doctor, mom. You were a surgeon.”

#teen wolf one shot #teen wolf fic #teen wolf au #teen wolf drabble #teen wolf imagine #stiles stilinski #lydia martin #isaac lahey #scott x reader #scott mccall #kira yukimura #alan deaton #braeden #vernon boyd #stilinskiimagines

[wasilly1]

2/7/2019

 On the 7th of February, 2019 I was admitted into the hospital for severe dehydration and diarrhea. It's a long story. Let's talk about it. It all began on Wednesday 6th Feb 2019. It was a normal day when I came back from school in the evening my stomach started acting weird. I had a few episodes of diarrhea, I didn't think much about it. At around 9 pm I got a fever and I took an Advil for it. I honestly didn't feel too bad, I just felt a bit sick. 1:30 am 2/7/19 It was a restless night and I woke up at 1:30 am. I went to the bathroom and that's when it all went south. You know when you feel like something is really bad is about to happen. Yeah, that's basically what happened. When I got into the bathroom I collapsed on the counter. I was too tired and I had no idea why. I looked at myself in the mirror. I knew there was something horribly wrong with my body. My breathing was fast paced and my heart rate was spiking. I was too exhausted to stand up. I truly felt too tired to do anything. I felt like giving up and staying there, but I knew if I stayed there the situation would get much worse. I would pass out. My dad came to check if I was ok and I was only able to muster out a few words. I told him I am feeling too tired. As I was walking out of the bathroom I passed out on my parents. They pretty much got the message and they immediately called 911.  My feet were turning numb and my head was spinning. I had a huge headache. It felt like the world was spinning. All that was running through my mind was, "What is wrong with me." The paramedics came and they helped me down the stairs. I could see my unfinished homework laying on the table and my computer still on. It was like a moment frozen in time. I was carried onto the driveway where they put me on a stretcher and then loaded me on the ambulance. When you're going through something like this, everything feels so foreign. Walking down the stairs of my own home felt so different. Looking outside of my house seeing my whole neighborhood felt foreign to me. Everything was moving so fast. Within a few minutes I had been fine and now I could barely walk and I was getting in an ambulance. I was thinking about friends and family and what was next for me. Everything that had been on my mind earlier had been replaced with this reckoning fear of what was occurring. The next thing I knew the ambulance was driving towards the hospital. I have always been intrigued by what it feels like to ride in an ambulance because the last time I was in an ambulance was when I was really young. It's not exactly fun when you are in pain and you are having a horrible headache. I watched as familiar streets zoomed past me.  The paramedics monitored my heart rate and blood pressure. My mom was right there in the ambulance watching it all unfold while my dad was following us in his car. 2:00 am 2/7/19 I reached the hospital at 2:00 am. I was taken into the ER where they took my blood and they ran some tests. They asked my parents a bunch of questions on what had happened.  They asked me how I was feeling. I had no idea what was happening to me.  All I could tell them was that I was too tired to do anything. It was the best response I could give them.  They decided to insert an IV and put me on fluids. Everything was happening so fast. Not long after that, I got a fever and I had to take more pills. I went to sleep. Over the years I have faced many fears. From watching horror movies to being pranked from my friends. All of these have given me a jolt, but do you know what scares me the most. Probably what scares a lot of people the most. It's the fear of not knowing what is wrong with you. That is the worst feeling. When you are down on the ground and you have no idea what's wrong with you. It was that fear that was taking me over at the moment. I woke up sometime later I thought I was feeling better, but apparently, my body didn't think the same way. A lady came into the room where I was being kept. She was the head of the observation unit and she wanted to admit me into their care. An observation unit is where the doctors keep you in the hospital for 24 hours (the longest they can hold you without you being officially admitted) and they basically, you guessed it, observe you. Me thinking that this would be a quick and easy thing was a big mistake. The reason they said they need to observe me was that my blood pressure was very low. My heart rate was also dangerously spiking. It hit 130 BPM at points. They had no explanation for this. All they could say was that it was probably because I was severely dehydrated. Several things clicked in my mind when they said that. I had heard, in books, about all of these things happening when you are severely dehydrated. Extreme fatigue, heart rate spikes, BP drops. They said that this stomach virus had turned my body into a war zone within a few hours. It had already caused me to get several fevers. I stayed in the ER for a really long time. In the time I spent there I met a really nice child-life specialist. Child life specialists are incredible people whose main mission is to make you happy and play games with you. She brought a pack of Uno cards, a book, and some coloring pages. We played a game of Uno while we chatted about our favorite movies. I enjoyed that. 4:00 pm 2/7/19 A few hours later they put me on a wheelchair and they moved me to the observation unit. There they continued to monitor me and check my vitals. I stayed there for multiple hours. There were multiple times when my blood pressure dropped and when my heart rate spiked. As more and more fluids were being pumped my condition was slowly improving. I was beginning to be able to walk, and I thought I would be out pretty soon. It was quite a boring wait. I didn't do much. They had a TV and I watched some Friends on it. Talking about friends, I also got in touch with some of my school friends to tell them about what I was going through. Everything was going pretty good until I started to get fevers again. 7:30 pm 2/7/19 While I was able to walk and stuff, my BP and heart rate were not normal yet. Whenever I woke up my heart rate would abnormally spike and my BP would be really low. They were unsure why and looking at my history of cancer, they didn't want to let something like that just fly by their radar. The same lady who had visited me in the ER came to my room again to talk to my parents. She said that I would need to be admitted into the hospital and that I would need to spend the night. There were many other doctors who stopped by to talk to me and my family. There also ran a few EKGs to find out what was up with my heart. 11:00 pm 2/7/19 I WAS MOVING. I was sleeping and I woke with a startle. They were moving my bed up to the seventh floor. They rolled me down a bunch of hallways and corridors. Not going to lie, I kinda enjoyed that ride. I got to my room and they checked my weight and ran a few more tests and they just went over some details about what would happen while I was admitted. The room was huge. There was a section for two beds and there was a large bathroom. There were also two nice TVs so that meant more Friends. 5:00 am 2/8/19 I was again woken up. There was a nurse checking on my vitals to see how I was doing. 7:00 am 2/8/19 Did you know that you can't sleep in a hospital? I was again awoken by a nurse monitoring my vitals. I decided to stay up from that point. I was feeling much better because I had been hooked to the IV for the entire night so I had received quite a lot of fluids. My dad brought me some breakfast from the hospital's cafe and I had a chance to take a shower. Here's a fun fact. - Taking a shower with an IV is not very easy. 10:00 am 2/8/19 I saw many different faces that day. All of the doctors were there to help me. At one point they had the entire team come to check on me. They do that with each admitted patient. There was a group of around 15 students, interns, and doctors who discussed what was next for me. They talked about how I was doing better and how they may discharge me later that day. I also heard a helicopter landing on the hospital's helipad. That was cool. 1:30 pm 2/8/19 It was a miracle! I had been given my discharge papers. They had given me the clear to leave the hospital. My heart rate and BP was much better and I wasn't severely dehydrated anymore. As I was walking out of the hospital into the parking garage I could see patient passes stuck onto the walls of the garage. There were hundreds of them. Each one was different. A different person. A different patient. A different room. In a sense, it was a celebration of each person's discharge. A celebration that signified the strength of each and every person in that hospital. Conclusion This entire experience had been so crazy. Starting on Wednesday and ending on Friday, my entire system had been flipped on its head. It was a scary experience. There is still some time until I fully recover and return to a hundred percent, but I am glad that I am feeling much better. I want to thank all the doctors/nurses who helped me, and every single person who made me feel better and who made my recovery possible. These people work so hard and spend long hours helping others and I believe they deserve a lot of credit for that. I also want to thank my family and my friends who were there for me when I was at my lowest and who wished me well. I guess a major takeaway from this is to drink a lot of water. Read the full article

[7raniagirls]

Recollection of Alex’s BP Rania and Solo Teaser Instagram

Before reading this please keep in mind this is just based on my memory, so everything might not be perfectly accurate. This is the best we have until a recording hopefully surfaces.

Overall, the vibe seems to be very hip/hop and trap. The beats are strong, groovy, and definitely powerful. Her solo work is very intriguing. At one point she played a song that I would describe as hard supernatural. The beat started off very ethereal and paranormal which quickly stacked onto an incredibly hard beat. Another song seemed to be a diss track. Someone made her extremely angry, because she was throwing out some serious shots. At one point she played a track and mentioned she adlibbed the most she ever had on that particular song, and that it was Zi.U’s favorite.

One track she played had a hook of “Low, Low, Low” which sounded very catchy. I didn’t catch who that was for.

Now to be honest I liked the idea of HEX, but it was just that, an idea. But, based on what Alex showed us I can’t wait for HEX to debut. The concept seems to be strong, powerful women, getting and doing what they want without seeking permission or affirmation from anyone. The long awaited East x West was earth shattering. The hook East x West is enormously catchy. At some point I believe Alex called out Hyeme’s name. And you know when someone calls out a name in a song that person is about to slay. I couldn’t clearly hear, but in my opinion if Alex and Hyeme take the song literally it could go next level if at some point Hyeme sings in English and Alex raps/sings in Korean. And they continuously alternate. Alex also said that if you thought the song was good, then wait for the dance. I don’t think she is exaggerating about how much of a hit this song and concept can be. Let’s think about this for a second. With 2NE1, 4Minute, Wonder Girls, and other girl groups with strong concepts gone; BP Rania and HEX have a lane that they can live in. And when is the last time there was a strong female sub-unit? This could really be something and I can’t wait. HEX seriously needs an MV and stages like a real debut. They can do nothing but help BP Rania and create a new movement all on their own.

As a bonus, Alex walked around the studio to show people around. At one point she was describing some art with a Hispanic title. Her pronunciation was excellent leaving me to speculate that she can actually speak Spanish. She has on multiple occasions said she can speak multiple languages, 4 to be exact including learning Korean. So 1. English, 2. Learning Korean, 3. Possibly Spanish, 4. Mystery language. Speaking Spanish would put the girls at a great advantage when they go to Spain. So let’s hope this is the case and Alex’s international leader skills can bring the group greater opportunities and reach a wider audience.

At various points both Zi.U and Jieun tried to get Alex’s attention, but she was too hyped about the music to notice. They both said hi to her, and expressed how much they missed her. I can’t wait until BP Rania comes back and HEX debuts. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but DR Music might be right. 2017 could be the year of BP Rania.

By the way don’t forget to purchase the Rania Legends CD. The due date is this Friday, and we have to sell 37 more cds. Remember this is to help fund the girls’ next mini album and create their reality show “20 Days with BP Rania”!  

#BP Rania Rania HEX Alex Hyeme

[herriblog]

First Epidural Steroid Injection (ESI)

I was admitted in a hospital in KL somewhere over last diwali. I could stand the pain no more. I was admitted for about 3days, i think. I was given painkillers. Honestly, I forgot what they were but they were so much lesser than what I am on now. I think it was Norgesic, Celebrex, Omeprazole (I think). Everyday, I would wait for my love to come before we’d walk. I struggled to walk. I could walk about 100 meters, then the pain radiated down to my hip. It caused a jam. I couldn’t walk. Like it was rusty had to be oiled, I felt like that. I got angrier when my hip didn’t cooperate. So on day three, when the orthopedic surgeon came, I told him. I said I couldn’t even walk to Starbucks., not even half way there. So he suggested that I meet a Dr who was an anesthetist, he does this so so procedure and patients can walk. I was like ah fuck it. We’ll do it. 

An older indian Dr walked in. He was old. And I mean real old! like a grand father, He had white mustache and a really messy Albert Einstein’s white hair. It was creepy, He proceeded to tell me the procedure. I agreed once I heard that I can walk. Excited af. I asked if there was complications or risks. And he brushed it off. And he pushed the nurses hastily to get over and done with their formalities. I was removing my necklace and he said, u can keep that on. I said no, i thought the operating theater didn’t allow all this. He said no need. First time, an Anaesthetist pushed me down. I was like woah...weird af. Lying down on the trolley. It was hard. I heard the wheels moving as I was staring into the ceiling, watching me pass by every light as they almost become one as he pushed. 

Next thing I knew I was in empty room.  He asked me to turn. I felt something cold on my back. He told me hug my knees. And that’s when I got hit...WTF Shit...He is just doing it now. Fuck, no BP monitored nothing. He injected the Local Anaesthesia multiple times. And he said ok, going in. I stayed as still as possible. I pinched my skin with my nail as it pierced through my skin and in between the spinal spaces and then into the Cereberal spinal spaces. I felt a pressure in my head. Like I was getting a headache. I slowly breathed out. And then I felt my headache reduced. Like there wasn’t any pressure. We done? Are we done, i thought to myself. Shit. He didn’t tell me shit. And then he says, “Girl your vertebrae spaces are so tight, I need to go in again.”WTFFFFFF! AGAIN. I sighed! He did it again, I was speechless. I pinched my skin to divert the pain. Something I learnt during my school days. He was in, I felt the headache again. And I heard him say, “We just put the catheter in... we injecting the steroid in....”I was fading. I felt cold sweats. I felt like I was gonna vomit. I looked forward and saw the door spinning. “Nursee...” My mouth so dry. I don’t think she heard. I turned to look at her. My arm turned limp. She saw me and said, “We almost done. He just taping it down.” And I slowly closed my eyes and swallowed what little saliva I had. And the Dr said, “we done.” And he turned to the nurse and said, Ökay you tape up. I will come back at 6pm, to give another shot.” He touched my skin and said, “Wow, you are sweating.” She pasted the tape to secure the catheter. OF COZ!!! I AM SWEATING. MY BP DROPPING! “I was too weak to argue. I was turned to lie on my back. I asked the nurse if she could check my BP.  She said that they were pushing to the reception and they will check it there. Slowly  When I reached there, she checked my BP, I turned to see, she covered it. I clearly saw that the SBP (systolic BP) was 77, so it was damn low. Then she mumbled to her friend, and her friend said in Malay to recheck in 5mins. FYI, I didn’t have an IV access. Nothing. I felt myself getting my strength but not on my lower limbs. It was pins and needles. She took the BP, it was 80s, and she said it’s normal. The fuck, bitch, it wasn’t la. I nearly fucking died! I asked umm, is it normal to feel numbness on the feet and how long it would last. She said its normal, It would last a few hours. Then I was pushed back to the ward. They took my BP, it became normal. Before they left, they told me that I needed to lie straight for 4 more hours. I said ok. And they left. I wriggled and reached into the drawer. I called my mom in law and on Video call, she asked wat was the thing that was dangling on my chest. I told her that it was a Epidural Catheter and I said I was too sleepy, I cut the line and updated my mother about the procedure and said I’m going to sleep. I texted in the family group that I was out of the procedure. So I slept. 

I woke up in 3 hours, I went to the toilet to change back to my shirt and pants. It just felt damn weird with the catheter in. But I could walk better. I played with my phone. My mom in law and sis in law came. It was close to 6, and the Indian Einstein came, He gave another dose. Oh wait. he didn’t He pushed it in and then the nurse gave the rest. I winced and frowned while my eyes closed. I knew it was gonna hurt. My sis in law if all ok tak. I say yea. The Dr asked are you okay? I said just headache, maybe because you are pushing in too fast. N he said no, you shouldn’t feel that. I swear to God, I nak tumbuk dia punya muka. The fuck! I know medicine. It’s my fucking spine. I ain’t stupid. I just shut, and thought to myself, “Maybe this is what they do in Malaysia, ba. Thank god I didn’t fucking die in your hands”. I forgot about the issues and never filed a complain. Now to think of it. I should have! Yeap. So there it is. First invasive procedure for my back pain. Oh ya, I could walk again. The nurse removed the catheter at 10pm. I didn’t have radiating pain. All was normal. 

My husband told me to take it easy and no work for how many weeks the doctor gave. So i complied and rested. It was good. No issues. I was happy but I wasn’t about the procedure. But I thought about it...It work la. Whatever...Now I think about it. I should have. It might have saved another person’s life or trauma

#epiduralsteroidinjections firsttime

[mikeyd1986]

MIKEY’S PERSONAL BLOG 125, October 2018

With the weather being a mostly sunny 28 degrees, it’s a shame that I didn’t have the motivation to do much of anything on Monday morning. At least I managed to call the NDIA and get an activation code so that I could link my NDIS plan to the mygov account and also access the services on myplace participant portal. My lack of enthusiasm could probably have been detected in my voice to the call centre worker who herself sounded like she was off with the fairies. But I really needed to get this done so that I could start using the funds in my plan. To be honest, I’m still confused as hell about this process but hopefully it’ll get easier for me over time.  https://www.ndis.gov.au/participant-portal-user-guide

I also did a bunch of housework which gave me a good excuse to get myself outside in the sun for a few minutes but otherwise today I’m very much home bound. Despite how little energy I had, I was determined to push myself out of the house and get to the final session of the Men of Doveton - 2018 program. However, I’m still feeling in two minds about it especially after how shitty and overwhelmed I was feeling from last Monday night. So I hesitated...again.

I had to ask myself some tough questions like: Who am I doing this program for? What if I don’t go and don’t finish the program? Will the others in the group be angry, disappointed, upset, worried or simply not care? Is this program making me happy and/or making me feel better about myself? The truth is that I feel like I’m going through the motions right now and attending the program more to please others which is NOT a good reason to be participating.

My relentless anxiety has been badgering me saying: If you don’t go, you’re a failure. The others think you should attend, so you should attend. You’re so close to finishing it. What are you doing with your life? What will the other guys think if you don’t go tonight? I also feel the need to place barriers around myself in order to protect myself from being hurt by others. It’s probably the irrational fears talking but at the same time, I really don’t want to put up with people giving me drama for not finishing the Men of Doveton program. https://www.wikihow.com/Make-Tough-Decisions-for-Yourself

The fact that I’m still stuck on the fence is a decision in itself. That I shouldn’t be forcing myself to attend because of outside expectations or what others will think about me if I don’t attend. I guess my own expectations about what I wanted out of this program have also been pretty unrealistic. You can’t form close friendships with 20 or so other males overnight. Also “dropping out” of a program is not failing. My excitement levels for the Men of Doveton program have significantly dropped since I started it back in July. So I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s not for me. It’s not making me happy so it’s time to shut the gate on it. https://www.communityreachcenter.org/news/5-steps-developing-healthy-realistic-thinking/

I dropped out of my Bachelor of Science degree at Monash University 4 years ago for the same reasons. Sure I had an interest in science and enjoyed some of the material I learned in my first couple of years studying there. But at the time, I really wasn’t thinking long term, about where this degree would take me. Could I see myself becoming a scientist, researcher, lab technician or doing a PhD? Nope. So there’s my answer. And 4 years later, the world hasn’t ended. I’m still here. Life goes on.

The reality is that I have gained some benefits from participating in this program including counting and recording my steps daily, using a journal to record things that I’m grateful for, being more aware about men’s health issues, tools to help me cope better with depression and anxiety symptoms, being able to successfully participate in group sporting activities, learning new ball handling skills, making a few friends and forming relationships with like-minded males going through similar issues. So in that sense, this program hasn’t been a waste of time for me. https://www.caseystadium.ymca.org.au/whats-on/upcoming-events/event/men-of-doveton-free-health-program-2/2018/07/30

On Tuesday night, I went to an RPM class at YMCA Casey ARC in Narre Warren. It’s been a couple of weeks since I last went to a group fitness class so I consciously lowered my expectations. Tonight wasn’t my best performance but everytime I step onto the bike, I make sure to give it my all. Numbers don’t bother me as much as I used to because I’ve got enough awareness around my limitations and capabilities. Placing the bar too high is never a good thing because you set yourself up for disappointment but it’s still healthy to challenge yourself a little bit. https://www.lesmills.com.au/archived-rpm

Tonight we did release number 80 which features the tracks Easy Love by Sigala, Everybody’s Somebody by Don Diablo feat. Bully Songs, New Memories by DubVision & Afrojack and Get Low by Hardwell. It was a challenging set of tracks which featured intense racing sections, multiple sprints and attacks, uphill climbs and power rides. As usual, our instructor Kay was very empowering, motivating and encouraging to get us through the class. I couldn’t quite reach the speeds or resistance levels that I normally get to but I was fine with that because I was still constantly moving and pushing myself through the workout without burning myself out. https://www.lesmills.com/workouts/fitness-classes/rpm/tracklists/

On Wednesday morning, I had my annual free health assessment done at my workplace. My experience with doing these in the past haven’t been great mainly because I’m always susceptible of getting a bad reaction to getting my finger pricked by the needle. The good news was that I recognised the female nurse who facilitated the service last time. The bad news is that I still had that damn reaction. No matter what I try to do...take deep breathes, try to relax my body, tel myself that “I can do this”...it still happens and I have no control over it.

“Here we go!” I thought as I broke into a sudden cold sweat, red faced and feverish, my ears buzzing intensely and the blood draining from my face. Luckily, the nurse was switched on and responded very quickly, getting me to lie down on the floor and elevate my legs up on the chair. Thankfully I seemed to recover quicker from it faster than last time but it doesn’t make it any less embarrassing and annoying to go through. The other positive was that we were inside the boardroom and therefore I didn’t have other team members witnessing any of this. https://kidshealth.org/en/teens/blood-draw.html

As for the results, they were mostly good. I got a blood glucose reading of 7.0 which is in the acceptable range, a blood cholesterol of 5.42 which is better than average, and my blood pressure was 117 over 74 which is acceptable-good. My BP had to be taken twice as the reaction made the initial reading invalid and dropped into severe-low territory. Waist measurement was 107cm and neck measurement was 44cm. Both of these can be improved with diet and exercise. The one area I was mostly concerned with was my chances of getting diagnosed with type II diabetes especially with a family history of it. https://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/health/healthyliving/health-checks-for-men

With all the factors considered (gender, age, waist/hip measurements), I’m slightly over into the high risk category. The good news is that I do have some degree of control over it by improving my lifestyle habits like being more physically active, eating more healthier foods, cutting back on alcohol etc which I try to do but have recently been slacking off on a bit due to increased stress and anxiety, low mood, poor quality of sleep. But I am determined to keep on top of it and try really hard to prevent getting any major heath problems when I get older. https://www.diabetesaustralia.com.au/type-2-diabetes

On Thursday night, I went to my HIIT Strength small group fitness training session at CinFull Fitness. Truth be told, I was in a really weird headspace tonight probably from all the millions of thoughts in my head and external distractions. My anxiety was ready to pounce (Seriously what are you doing here Michael? You’re not female, a mum or a housewife!) but I did my best to tell it to zip it. The female to male ratio doesn’t bother me all much and even if I don’t relate to the other clients, who cares? I’m there to improve my fitness and self confidence, not to catch up on the goss (no offence ladies!).

We did a circuit-style session with various stations set up, doing intervals of each exercise with a short 10 second break in between. There was a mixture of weight training (bicep curls, dumbbell power lifts, kettle bell squats) and resistance training (push ups, mountain climbers, battle ropes). The fatigue set in fast but overall I did okay. I think I just had a lot on my mind but the class was a positive distraction from it and we did have a few laughs which is always a good thing. https://www.facebook.com/CinFullFitness/

On Friday morning, I attended the individual intake session for the research study Addressing Insomnia in Adults with Autism held at La Trobe University Psychology Clinic in Bundoora. This is the first time I’ve participated in research that relates to both my autism and my sleep problems so understandably I was feeling a bit daunted by the whole idea. However, I brought my mum along to the psych clinic for support. Being my first time driving to this university campus, I did freak out a little with the traffic, trying to get my bearings and be sure that I was parking in the correct car park (we even witnessed a parking inspector doing the rounds, enough said!). https://aspergersvic.org.au/Research-Requests

Once I arrived at the Psychology Clinic (located inside the George Singer building), I did seem to relax a little. We met with a provisional psychologist named Eliza who gave me some information about the study and some questionnaires to fill out as well as a consent form and a withdrawal form. She then guided us from the waiting room into one of the consultation rooms. This session was more like a general interview just to get some insight into my medical background and sleep problems.

Eliza was very warm, compassionate and easy going. Certainly not as cold, clinical and formal as I was anticipating inside my head. She asked me about my family history, why I decided to participate in the study, my expectations about the group intervention, what will be involved, what I think causes me to have disturbed sleep patterns and lack of quality sleep and how it impacts on my daily lifestyle and well-being.

I told Eliza that I’ve been having these sleep problems for about two years or slow due to work-related stress, general anxiety and depression symptoms, having lots of pressure and expectations from society, keeping busy and having lots of commitments and not being able to switch my brain off. I usually go to bed around 10-10.30pm and it can take up to 1-1.5 hours to fall asleep. Then I usually wake up around 3 or 4am and again struggle to go back to sleep again. Overall, I get around 4 to 5 hours of sleep per night on average.

These sleep problems have had a major affect on my well-being including poor focus and concentration, low energy, daytime sleepiness, difficult in getting motivated, regular crashes, physical and mental burnout. The group intervention part will involve me wearing a actigraphy watch device that measures physical motion and sleep/wake cycles for 7 days and filling out an online sleep diary as well as attending 4 two-hour group therapy sessions on ways to manage and improve my sleep.

I’m really hoping that this research study will be a pro-active stepping stone for me in helping to improve my sleep problems and all of the symptoms that I’ve mentioned above. I’ve tried many different natural therapies including using a weighted blanket, lavender spray, relaxation and guided meditation videos, using a vapouriser machine, reading, writing down my worries, having a bath or shower, taking herbal sleep vitamins but none of these have been 100% effective. http://otarc.blogs.latrobe.edu.au/sleep-help-for-adults-on-the-spectrum/

On Friday night, I attended a ten-pin bowling social night for the Adults in Their Thirties Aspergers Victoria group held at Healthways Recreation Centre - Mont Albert North. I actually found this drive to be a lot more mentally draining than the one I did this morning especially driving through Surrey Hills and Box Hill. The roads are so damn narrow and when you’re not completely familiar with an area, you can easily get yourself lost. Luckily I had my Google Maps navigator lady switched on to prevent that from happening.

Besides the moderate amount of traffic and the long distance I had to travel, it actually wasn’t too difficult getting there. I arrived just a couple of minutes before 7pm and found a few of the other Aspies upstairs where the bowling alleys are located. This particular bowling area has been around since 1961 with a retro 1980’s inspired colour scheme and design, featuring splashes of red, blue, yellow and pink.

The computer monitors are also a throwback to 8-bit computer processors with green text on a black background. As we soon learned, all the scores had to be recorded manually on the keyboard which added an additional level of problem solving to the night (aka figuring out how many pins have been knocked down). It’s been around 6 years since I last did ten pin bowling but I was surprised to see my beginners luck returning with a few spares and a couple of strikes.

It was also nice getting to know a few new members I hadn’t met before and chatting with Marcus Heath and Lucas Eldridge in between turns. For dinner, the group leaders organised a delivery of pizzas in the function room / kitchen area next door as well as some drinks. I honestly didn’t feel like being that social tonight but it was just nice to have some social company for once considering how low I’ve been feeling lately. I really needed this night to get out of the house and be with other Aspies around my own age. https://aspergersvic.org.au/events-groups

“If you can't wake up in the morning ‘Cause your bed lies vacant at night. If you're lost, hurt, tired or lonely. Can't control it, try as you might. May you find that love that won't leave you. May you find it by the end of the day. You won't be lost, hurt, tired and lonely. Something beautiful will come your way.” Robbie Williams - Something Beautiful (2002)