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inevitably-johnlocked · 5 years

Note

Am so in the mood for some fics where John helps Sherlock through detox/cravings/danger nights, anytime throughout the series. Bonus points for Sherlock being scared John will be mad at him or turn away, but John being supportive and understanding!!

anonymous asked: Do you know of any Sherlock fics that include self harm? Thanks

Hi Guys!!

Since these are… SORT OF related, I’m putting them together! I don’t have many re: self-harm, so I thought I would add all the drug use, poisoning and the like fics together as well. They’re for both John and Sherlock, so I hope that’s alright! Hope these suffice!!

SELF-HARM

See also Alexx’s Lists:

Drugged Non-con sex

Drugs & Recovery

Mycroft deals with Sherlock’s drugs

Helping Sherlock With Drugs

Sherlock Drugs & Addiction

Angsty Drugs & Prostitution Fics

Teenlock & Drugs

The Signs of Loss by LitLocked (NR, 1,103 w. || Post-TSo3, Pining Sherlock, Self Reflection) – Sherlock’s internal monologue after he comes back from the wedding.

Clarity by socomessnow (thoughtfulwishing) (NR, 1,283 w. || Post-HLV, POV Sherlock, Pining Sherlock, Tarmac Scene, Stream of Consciousness, URT, First Person Present Tense) - During-and-post-HLV piece tracking Sherlock’s thought process from his phone call with Mycroft to his return to the airfield.

The Two of Us Against the World by slashscribe (T, 1,617 w. || Post-TAB, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Drug Addiction, Anxious Sherlock, Angsty Fluff) – John is there to take care of Sherlock as he comes down from his overdose in The Abominable Bride. Set immediately after the tarmac, back in 221B.

Loudly Unspoken by Mount_Seleya (M, 1,871 w. || Post-TAB, Love Confessions, Vulnerable Sherlock, Frottage) – John confronts Sherlock about the words he left unsaid on the tarmac. Set immediately after TAB.

They’re Taking My Wisdom by whitchry9 (K+, 1,939 w. || Hurt/Comfort, Drugging, Dentists, Friendship, Anxious Sherlock, Humour) – Sherlock goes to the dentist. Of course, being Sherlock, things have to be complicated. Oh and drugs. They’re always fun.

Stay by sussexbound (M, 2,067 w. || Post TAB, Suicidal Ideation Mention, Implied / Referenced Drug Use, Kissing, Love Confessions, Frottage, Coming in Pants) – “Why? Why did you do it? Hmm…?” He takes a deep breath, waits, lets it out again. “Look at me.” There’s no denying him when he takes this tone. “Why did you kill him? Hmm…? For her? After…” A muscle twitches in the corner of John’s eye, and he clamps his jaw down tightly, swallows and sniffs a little before continuing. “For her? After everything she’s done?” “For you.” Before he can even stop himself. Just like that.

Coming Full Circle by KCS (K+, 2,358 w. || Alternate TGG, Friendship, Drama, Violence/Death References, Drugging/Poisoning, Kidnapping, BAMF John, Moriarty POV, Introspection) – Moriarty had John for almost six hours between his abduction and the showdown at the pool - more than enough time to implement a Plan B for his escape should Sherlock call his bluff with the fake bomb vest.

Thief by KendylGirl (M, 2,430 w. || Rev. Reich., Heavy Angst, Regret, Grief / Mourning, Pining Sherlock, Implied Drug Use, Self-Flagellation) – John has been gone for four months, and Sherlock is not dealing well with it. When he finds a personal item of John’s, the situation reaches a crisis. Part 3 of When to Let Go

The Battersea Bridge by pininglock (M, 2,585 w. || MCD, Angst, Grief, Unhappy Ending) – A life without John Watson isn’t a life worth living.

Unspoken by PipMer (T, 2,770 w. || Drugged John, Mutual Pining, John’s Missing Wednesday, Fluff & Angst, Canon Compliant, Gap Filler) – Sherlock wanted to test a hypothesis. About John. He wanted a question answered that he couldn’t just ask, at least not under normal conditions, because John would never tell him the truth about that.

After the Bombs by VampirePam (T, 3,337 w. || THoB AU, Drugs, John’s PTSD, Panic Attack, Nightmares, Caring Sherlock, Cuddles, Bed Sharing, Angst, Hurt/Comfort) – In which the drugs Sherlock used to dose John trigger a severe episode of PTSD. When terrors old and new cause John to fall apart, Sherlock must rectify his mistake and pick up the pieces.

Bolt Holes by PostcardsfromTheoryland (T, 4,177 w. || H/C, Angst, Drug Mentions, Pining Sherlock) – John asked, one evening, if Sherlock liked her. To which he grudgingly had to say yes, and John said he was glad. Because John was going to propose to her.

Experiment by Gwen’s Blue Box (K+, 4,222 w. || Non-Con Drugging, Hurt Comfort, Friendship) – Of course John has always known about his flatmate’s irregular sleeping habits, especially when they’re on a case. This time, however, the case is taking longer and longer, and soon John starts to worry. But there’s not much he can do, is there? Because drugging Sherlock isn’t an option. Not yet, maybe, but will it be soon? {{CW: John drugs Sherlock without his consent}}

Afghanistan in Baskerville by Amaya Ramiel (K+, 4,357 w. || THoB Fic, Hurt/Comfort, Drugged John, PTSD / Panic Attack, Hallucinations, Worried Sherlock, John’s Past, Friendship) – What if John hadn’t seen the hound when Sherlock trapped him in the lab? What if instead, his very real nightmares of the war had materialized all around him? Trapped and drugged, John can’t tell what’s real and what’s not. How will Sherlock react?

Very Good Indeed by StillWaters1 (T, 4,531 w. || Hurt/Comfort, Friendship, Doctor John, John Whump) – John Watson was a doctor, trained to observe details; a fact Sherlock had never been more aware of than when a drugged John’s lifesaving instructions were based on an unlabeled syringe and an unconscious murder suspect’s body.

Not The Hands That Kill by You_Light_The_Sky (M, 6,201 w. || Winglock, Whump, Mentions of Drug Use) – Having wings does not make Sherlock Holmes a guardian angel, not in the way that John Watson is his.

The Dying Detective Remix by SailorChibi (K, 6,563 w. || Friendship & Family) – No one hates admitting illness or wounds more than Sherlock… perhaps that’s why no one believes him when he actually gets sick. Fortunately, when he can’t do it himself any longer, John and Lestrade are there to pick up the slack. Features Paternal!Lestrade and Gen John and Sherlock. One-shot.

The Hours Before Midnight by Lady Sam Mallory (T, 7,773 w. || TGG Fic, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Torture / John Whump, Kidnapping, Drugging, Alternating POV, Worried / Protective Sherlock) – Moriarty doesn’t play fair. John must deal with hours of torment from Moriarty before going to meet Sherlock at the Pool at the end of the Great Game and Sherlock must deal with the consequences of his boredom.

A Dangerous Mix by thebakerstreetgirl (K, 8,077 w. || Angst, Whump, Drugs, Hurt/Comfort, Overdosing) – During a case, John gets attacked and Sherlock and Lestrade find him with a mysterious drug running through the army doctor’s veins.

Never Been This Swept Away by estalita11 (T, 8,531 w. || Post-TAB, Mary is Not Nice, Drug Use, First Kiss, Love Confessions) – Set immediately after TAB, Sherlock visits his brother to definitely not apologize about earlier and ends up finally learning a few things that would have been nice knowing about months ago. Mycroft never wants to deal with lovestruck idiots ever again.

The Five Stages of Mourning, Plus One by SunnyRea (T, 10,557 || MCD, Pining / Grieving Sherlock, URT, Heavy Angst, Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Drug Use, Graphic Death, Depression, Unhappy Ending) – Sherlock did not want this, did not want another stalemate with John in the middle, a gun in Jim’s hand. This cannot have happened without a sign. There has to be something he missed anything which said today is the day I kill for real.

Obsession by storylover18 (K+, 15,213 w. || HC, Case Fic, Friendship) - Dr. John Watson wakes up ill one morning but it is not the 24 hour flu he thinks it was. Soon he lands in hospital, quickly deteriorating and Sherlock must work to find out what has happened to his blogger before it is too late. Case!fic mixed with sick!fic / No slash.

Brief Conversations with the Woman by May_Shepard (E, 21,906 w. || Pining, Love Fairy Irene, Filler Fic, UST/URT, Drug Use, Clueless Sherlock, Relationship Advice, Angst w/ Happy Ending) – Sherlock has a puzzle to solve, and his name is John Watson.

A Love with No Name Series by aceofhearts61 (G to M, 49,955 w. across 20 stories || Asexual Sherlock / Straight John, Est. Rel, Queerplatonic Relationship, Romance, Cuddling, Fluff, Platonic Romance, Domestics) – In which Asexual!Sherlock and Straight!John are platonically in love life partners.

Albion and the Woodsman by Glenmore (NR [E], 54,437 w. || Post S3 || Parentlock, Pining Sherlock, Angst, Family, Drug Use, Depression, Sherlock POV) – Sherlock and John are devastated after Mary Morstan makes her final moves. Sherlock relapses at the crack house, John walks around the world … and a lot happens in between. Parentlock, in the good way.

The Vapor Variant by 88thParallel (CanadaHolm) (M, 72,684 w. || Post-THoB, John Whump, Protective Sherlock, Guilty Sherlock, Angst with Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, PTSD John, Slow Burn, Mutual Pining, Suspense, Virus, Sickfic, Big Brother Mycroft) – They stood face to face in the middle of a clearing. The dim light of the moon barely allowed Sherlock to see the glassy terror in John’s eyes and the sweat that glistened off his forehead. His nose was bleeding again, blood dripping in a slow stream from his right nostril. They were both gasping for air, John’s eyes locked on Sherlock’s. There was no recognition there, just wild animal fear. Time stood still for an eternal few seconds, and Sherlock took a shaky breath. “John—”Spell broken, John spun and bolted back into the woods. Still heaving for air, Sherlock took off after him. {{HAVEN’T READ THIS FIC YET, READ AT YOUR OWN DISCRETION}}

To Light Another’s Path by BeautifulFiction (E, 128,654 w. || Post-TGG, Sick Fic, Hurt/Comfort, Drug Addiction / Recreational Drug Use, First Time / Kiss, Case Fic) – Teaching John to observe seems to be a losing battle, but when Sherlock falls ill and submits himself to John’s care, will he realise that there is more to life than the science of deduction? Meanwhile, there is a murder to solve, and John must try and convince Sherlock not to sacrifice his own health for the sake of the case.

Ten Days by Engazed (E, 137,208 w. || Rape/Non-Con, Post-TRF, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Torture, Case Fic) – Sherlock Holmes has been dead for forty months, and John is at last beginning to live his life again. But just when he believes he might be happy, his world crashes back down around him. John is named a missing person. Someone is pointing DI Lestrade in the wrong direction. And as the days pass, his situation only grows more dire. It seems like the disappearance of his best friend is the only thing that can bring Sherlock Holmes back from the dead. Part 1 of The Fallen

Midnight Blue Serenity by BeautifulFiction (E, 151,907 w. || Friends to Lovers, Gay Bar / For a Case, Drugs, Pining, Case Fic, UST) – When Sherlock infiltrates a club in order to track down a serial killer, his altered appearance is enough to make John question his assumption that Sherlock is beyond his reach. However, is he the only one who appreciates his flatmate’s charms, or is Sherlock at risk of becoming the next victim? {{centres around drug use, but not necessarily John or Sherlock’s}}

#steph replies #johnlock fic recs #drugs cw #self harm cw #drug use #angst fics #danger nights #my fic recs #madeofawesome12

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aresaphrodites · 7 years

Text

To B.C. I Still Love You - Chapter Five

WARNING: Drug use in this chapter.

Sad excerpt due to listening to Fix You by Coldplay while writing.

I’m so sorry.

Tears are streaming down her face. She’s sobbing into my chest and I’m holding her as tightly as possible. I wish I could take away all of her pain, all of the sadness and hurt she feels. I’d do anything to make sure that she never feels this way again.

“I’m sorry,” is all I tell her because it’s all I can say. It’s the only thing I can offer her right now and it’s not enough. I know it’s not enough, but I wish it was. “I’m so sorry.”

“He’s gone,” she cries out. “He’s gone, I can’t…” her cries turn into heart wrenching screams, it’s the worst sound I’ve ever heard in my entire life. Each cry makes my heart clench more and more until I’m crying along with her.

“I got you,” I whisper into her hair as I shut my eyes tightly, willing my tears to stop. “I’m here.”

She’s crying and it’s a terrible situation, an unbearable one, but she still looks so beautiful. This beautiful, broken girl is in my arms and no matter what I do, I know I can’t make this better. This is the one thing I can’t fix.

“Make it stop,” she cries into my chest, “make it stop.”

“Baby, I can’t. I’m so sorry. I don’t know what to do,” I say brokenly.

“Fix me,” she begs. “Fix me.”

For three days Jughead paces his apartment, wondering if he should go see Betty. He repeats Archie’s advice in his head over and over again like a prayer. He thinks of all the possible outcomes that could come out of this. He thinks of all the ways it could end.

On Tuesday night, he puts on a coat and walks over to his front door. He just stares at the doorknob before shaking his head and turning away, going back to his room.

Early Wednesday morning, he gets dressed and actually opens his front door before shutting it again and walking back over to his couch.

In the end he doesn’t see her.

He paces his apartment for three days straight, taking Archie’s words into account, wondering if he should just suck it up and see her. But he doesn’t.

He does exactly what a coward would do and he stays locked up in his apartment. Los Angeles may be a big city but he knows that with the way fate seems to have it out for him, he’d see her if he just tried to go get some coffee down the street.

He knows he’s being a coward, but he can’t help it. A part of him does want to talk to her, to ask her all of the questions flowing through his mind, but a bigger part of him is too scared to even look her way.

As cool and cruel as he tried to be at the signing, he was surprised he didn’t immediately fall to his knees in front of her and beg for her back right there and then. Why should he beg for her, though? He wasn’t the one who left her. He didn’t break her heart. He shouldn’t even want her back at all, but he’d be lying if he said a part of him didn’t.

Betty Cooper was his first love. Maybe she was destined to be his only love if the other night at the club was anything to go by. He wasn’t sure what this meant for his future. Maybe he’d live a lonely life. That’s okay. Tons of people do it all the time. Why was he any different? Why should Jughead get a happy ending? What had he ever done to deserve one?

Wednesday night at 11:43 PM, Archie sends him a simple text that leaves him feeling even more shitty than he already did.

I’m sorry things didn’t work out.

That’s all the text says and Jughead doesn’t even respond back. Betty must be back in Riverdale already. He wonders what she told Archie and Veronica. He knows that the reason things didn’t work out this time was because he refused to see her. He knows that this time it’s his fault. But what was there to even work out? What could Betty have possibly told him that would make the past five years okay?

It doesn’t matter now. There’s no reason for him to sit around and think about what could have been. Now he can continue on with his life just like he had before; not exactly happy, but content. He could do this.

He takes a walk Thursday afternoon. The loud city takes his mind off of things as he takes in the world around him. He stops at his favorite cafe and orders coffee and a bagel. He doesn’t pay attention to the taste and he finishes before he even realize it. His movements are forced that entire day. He goes through the motions throughout the day, but he doesn’t pay attention to any of it. He doesn’t know when he got home or how he cooked dinner or what it even tasted like. He doesn’t remember watching his favorite show before bed. He doesn’t really take any of it in. He feels like a robot.

Friday is better.

On Friday he wakes up to a text from Reggie saying that he wants to go out to the club that night. Usually Jughead would be against this, especially since his last clubbing experience was a wreck, but he agrees. He won’t drink, he doesn’t even want to get drunk, but it’ll be nice to leave the house with a friend. Reggie is the exact kind of person he needs to be with right now; someone easygoing and fun that’ll make things a little better.

He spends the day watching cooking shows and cleaning. It’s uneventful; it’s a normal day. When Reggie picks him up, he’s more than excited to be leaving his apartment. The car ride is full of conversation about his best friend’s latest conquest and Jughead hardly pays attention, only adding in commentary when needed.

The club is packed when they finally arrive. There’s a line outside and he feels bad for the people who have to stand in it. Being Reggie’s friend has its perks. There were no waiting lines when your name was Reggie Mantle and Jughead took great pleasure in being his plus one.

“I want a drink. What do you want?”

Jughead tells him to get him a coke. Reggie rolls his eyes but nods anyway. They sit in a VIP booth towards the back of the club. Some of Reggie’s friends are already there and they greet Jughead as if they’ve known him for years. He doesn’t even know any of their names.

It isn’t long before Reggie leaves to the dance floor with a pretty redhead, leaving Jughead alone with random people he doesn’t know. He doesn’t mind though. The booth he’s sitting in is comfortable and he can feel the bass of the music flowing through him and it’s nice. Everything is nice.

For a while.

One of the guy’s sitting at the booth whispers something to the girl next to him, who smirks and pulls a tiny capsule out of her bag. Jughead watches as she opens the silver capsule and pours its contents onto a makeup mirror sitting on the table.

“You want some?”

He isn’t aware that she’s speaking to him until the guy next to him nudges him.

“You want some, man?” He asks.

He’s never actually seen it in person before, but he isn’t stupid. He knows what’s sitting in front of him. It’s cocaine. It’s actually fucking cocaine. These people are doing coke in the middle of a nightclub like it’s no big deal. The girl takes a hundred dollar bill out of her purse and rolls it up. The guy next to her is cutting lines, nice and neatly, he makes it look like a fucking art form and Jughead can’t stop watching them.

He watches as the girl snorts two long lines and then he watches as the guy next to her does the same.

“Want some, Jughead?”

He doesn’t know how the girl knows his name, he doesn’t remember introducing himself. She’s staring at him with a lazy smile and brown glazed over eyes.

“Dude, try some, this shit is so dope,” the guy says as he grins widely at Jughead, looking almost manic.

“I don’t…” Jughead whispers, trailing off. He doesn’t know what to say. They look so happy. He wants to be that happy. He wants to feel happy. He feels his fingers twitch from where they’re placed on his knees under the table. He could do one line, couldn’t he? It’s not bad if it’s just one line. One line wouldn’t hurt him. Don’t famous people do this kind of thing? He was famous… kind of.

This was a happy drug from what he knew and he just wanted to feel happy. He deserved to feel happy. He would do one line, feel happy, and that would be that.

The girl giggles for absolutely no reason and hands Jughead the hundred dollar bill she rolled up with shaky hands.

“Unless you want something harder,” the guy next to him says with a smirk as if cocaine isn’t hard itself, as if it’s something that everyone does in their free time. “I bet you’re into that hard shit, aren’t you? You definitely look like you like downers.”

“Downers?” Jughead asks as he takes the rolled up bill, staring at it in fascination.

“Yeah, downers, you know, H?”

“H?” He asks, growing more and more confused.

“Heroin, silly,” the girl says with another giggle. She’s shaking her leg uncontrollably under the table and her whole body moves with it. “We can get you some if you want.”

What the fuck. What the fuck?

It’s like someone pours a bucket of ice cold water on him. He looks down at the bill he’s holding, still laced with white power and the mirror covered in coke that somehow ended up in front of him and he blanches.

He drops the dollar bill, not even remembering having grabbed it. He stares down at the mirror in front of him and sees his reflection in it. He doesn’t recognize the person staring back at him. Who was he? There was no way he was about to do what he was just about to do. There’s no way. He would never.

But you almost did, a voice in the back of his head whispers at him. He jumps up from the booth so quickly that everyone give him a confused look.

“Are you okay, man?”

“Yeah,” he says, voice shaky, “I gotta go.”

He all but runs out of the club, flagging down the first cab he can find. He doesn’t remember where he tells the driver to drop him off at, he doesn’t remember even giving him an address. He doesn’t really take in where he’s going until he’s staring at a young woman in a uniform who’s giving him a bored look.

“I need a ticket on your next flight to Riverdale,” is what he tells her.

The lady pops her gum as she types some stuff into a computer before handing him over a ticket.

“You’re in luck, sweets. Your plane leaves in an hour and a half. Last minute plans?” She asks.

“Yeah,” he whispers. “I’m going home.”

UP NEXT: Juggie goes to Riverdale. Archie is happy. Veronica is scheming. Reggie is NOT having his shit. AND we get a flashback of the day (AND THE REASON WHY) Betty left him. See you tomorrow. ;)

#bughead #bughead fanfiction

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jeremy-ken-anderson · 5 years

Text

Hold/Fold

It’s not just “I have impostor syndrome.”

I make stuff. Of course I have impostor syndrome. That’s not a symptom of a deeper problem, as the name “syndrome” would suggest; It’s a symptom of being a person who creates stuff.

But look; I have stayed too long in some endeavors. I have failed to finish others. Some of these, like my webcomic, are in both categories. For a year and change I made a comic. It had a meandering plot, and it took a lot longer to draw than I should have spent due to a fundamentally bad process. And eventually I determined I just wasn’t willing to put in the work to make the plot go somewhere from the corner I’d painted myself into. So I put it down. At the time I said I’d think through the plot and come back to it, which...

It’s been 6-7 years? The site I was originally hosting them on - MSPA Forums - doesn’t even exist. The computer I was saving them on died. There’s only one place to find an image from that comic. Can you guess? It’s...my Tumblr profile pic!

I got a degree in writing and then I wrote a novel and then I...didn’t edit or publish it. Two, if you count the one I slapped together in college. This right here is part of why I got indignant when a friend tried to talk about how unfair it was that I had success with Shadowrift while she labored in obscurity on AO3. If we’re talking about the same actual field I had written two whole-ass books that had then not become anything.

I do have impostor syndrome around Shadowrift. Of course. It’s not possible to test a game enough. And errors - sometimes basic typos and sometimes structural problems - have gotten through the process, after I’ve personally looked at and approved the cards they’re on (And MAN does that give me impostor syndrome when I try to apply for editing work). And at the inception I wasn’t the one who did a lot of the editing on the book. And I wasn’t the one who negotiated with the printer. Logically I can say that no, actually the other games I made while I was living with Jess didn’t fare any better. She wasn’t The Special Sauce that made Shadowrift work. Except...she also kinda was, because we flat-out used mostly her money to self-publish? We made it back and more, but without her investment Shadowrift would have been a game idea I was trying to sell, not a physical professional card game (with weird production issues because we were a hyper-indie publisher) that I was looking for warehousing for. We can’t know the would-haves, of course.

But casting back, what have I done, game-wise? Grimoirum. Unfairies. Nexus-1. Cavemen on the Moon. Igor. Circuitry. Penman Ship. Sun Tzu’s The Art of Baby Racing. Fog of War. Kingdom Destroyer. Zorch. Kingdom Roll. Animal 3x3. Contraption. Go for the Juggler. And Shadowrift. I’ve been working on game design for roughly my entire adult life, and I have one success and 15...let’s charitably call them “incomplete works” or “learning experiences.”

I’ve now been streaming for 2 months and I consistently have a viewership of 1 person. One of my friends turns on my show on his work computer and leaves it running, muted, while he works. It’s infinitely better than 0, but it’s also not...It’s not good. Not for something that eats most of my energy 2 days out of the week. Like the webcomic, I have the impression that I am very much not working smart on this. That there are a few basic things I need to be doing beyond my existing activities if I want it to be a real possibility. I’m not clear what they are, but I’m pretty clear they exist. But there’s a rational fear that I could work on this for 2 years and still be at 1-5 people (which is below Twitch’s threshold for paying you even a pittance).

This Wednesday I break schedule on it. I’m going out of town to visit my dad. And just...I don’t have a sense that I’m losing anything by not doing it. By giving up on it, from here. There’s a sunk cost of maybe a hundred or so on getting the fancy internet connection I needed to do uploads in real time. The original gimmick I had to give me a niche - doing reads of visual novels - has intractable flaws I’ve detailed earlier on this site.

But it’s not good enough to put this down. What am I picking up? What am I going to devote myself to finishing? The obvious answer is The Dream Blade Chronicle. I’m on round 8ish of editing the combat/mechanical experience and I like the four characters of it.

Also, though...should I give up on the stream, or should I just figure out the problems with it and do it well?

Video game design, same question. I’ve only gotten two games remotely started in video game design - three if you count Twine games - but have I given up on them? I have Revenge of the Diamond Queen with a solid combat system (or at least, solid-LOOKING; I haven’t been able to test it as a real system because I don’t have a clear programmed space), and a story I like quite a bit and which I think would do well with the community that likes the kind of mechanical experience RDQ offers. I have a similar feeling to the inception of Shadowrift; That this is both a game I’d have fun playing, AND that there’s a solid and underserved market for it. That’s an instinct I want to trust. But I lack the skills to make it and I lack the funds to straight-up hire a programmer and I’ve tried a few times to get someone to join up on percentage and, well, I’ve gotten what I paid for. This second time is harder to cope with than the first; He’s still trying, kind of, but he’s not touched it for months and I just...I can’t wait for him, but if I want to make that system without him I am starting the whole thing from the ground, when I know he’s already made a bunch of stuff and claims to still be interested in it.

Do I just focus on DBC and let RDQ lie fallow for longer? Do I write out all the story for RDQ while I’m waiting? That helps me feel like I’m not giving up on the project but also seems dangerously like defining scope before I have a handle on resources.

#design #creativity #anxiety #giving up #not giving up

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