#she disdains how often its used in things bc i feel like it's probably a common occurrence around the lab for her to brush against something

[luvsavos]

This has been bugging me for days help can Vul see herself in the mirror? Vampire n stuff

yes AND no, as i recall the original vampire myth was that because of the mirrors having silver backing SO! if it's a mirror without silver? Yes, but if it Does have silver than No

i assume a lot of mirrors in mh might have silver so she probably either has one specifically without silver OR she just uses water to see her own reflection ahfksbfnf

#mar.txt #gaismagormfan53 #answered #oc tag: vuljud #i'd say she pestered bahari into getting her a mirror without silver but i feel like bahari MIGHT do that on his own #every time she passes by a mirror with silver in it she just :| she hates silver so much LMFAO #she disdains how often its used in things bc i feel like it's probably a common occurrence around the lab for her to brush against something #then immediately jolt back because it had silver in it and now she has a burn to deal with >:( #bahari probably tries to mitigate that happening often But! one can only do so much

[betafibiiiiiivviiixiiixxixxxiv]

so i saw a take about eula that made me mad so here’s my (biased) rant about her

i’m pro-end user license agreement, i think she’s cute, not just appearance-wise but personality-wise too

(didn’t pull her tho bc the kinda obvious powercreeping made me salty, might pull her when her rerun comes around just to have her and not level her)

but basically the gist of this rant is gonna be i think people unfairly mischaracterize her and i’m gonna talk about why i think she’s a good bean based on the two things about her that i’ve seen people mention they dislike the most: the way she talks and her relationship to/feelings about her family

disclaimer: a lot of this is my opinion and my interpretation of her character, probably has a lot of typos

this will probably be really like

incomprehensible i’m tired sorry but i’ll try to make sense

okay so

a lot of people from what i’ve seen dislike eula bc of the way she talks, but at least try to understand why she might talk the way she does

putting aside the reason why she talked the way she did to the people of mondstadt during her story quest (i’ll get to that later), let’s talk about her whole focus on vengeance first

imo her whole thing about vengeance is a shield of sorts for her

many of the people of mondstadt would only ever see her as a descendant of the lawrence clan, someone who means to do mondstadt harm

so might as well give them what they expect, even if it’s not what you really mean

her story in her character profile even says this

“Her grievances and vengeance are but a habit, a signal, a shield.

“What remarks she should just laugh off, what concepts she should bear in mind given her unique circumstances and position...“

one has to remember that eula is a descendant of the lawrence clan, a clan that is hated in mondstadt bc of how corrupted they became during the era of the aristocracy

it’s likely that when she was a child she was ostracized even though the sins of her family, her ancestors, aren’t her own

even if she wanted to make friends with the other children of mondstadt, they were probably too distrustful of her

in her story in her character profile, there’s no mention of jean or diluc in regards to her past, but amber is mentioned to have been her friend even before eula joined the knights of favnious

it’s likely amber was one of her few friends growing up, if not her only friend

and amber is a pretty easy-going and welcoming person; she probably didn’t care about the way eula spoke all that much and bc they’re friends she understands the feelings eula hides behind her seemingly contentious words

anyways about her and the people of mondstadt

the people of mondstadt only see the family she’s a part of; they don’t see her

from her profile story:

“Eula has been viewed with contempt by the citizens of Mondstadt since birth. The Lawrence name stands for a legacy of depravity and despotism that stains Mondstadt's past and scars the minds of its citizens even to this day.

“So, whenever Eula appears, old wounds resurface. People despise the aristocracy, and this does no favors for her reputation.”

“In truth, Eula is nothing like the fearsome predator many imagine her to be. On the contrary, constantly being met with prejudice at every turn means she is often the victim.

“At one time, shops would refuse to sell her their goods, restaurants would put no care and attention into her orders, and the citizens on her patrol route would refuse to cooperate with her. So, Eula's work is fraught with difficulties.“

and in her voicelines:

“The life of a Lawrence doesn't include much worth talking about... Basically, whatever you say, whatever you do, people will always despise you and treat you like a potential threat to society. It's nowhere near as bad as it used to be, though. Before I'd joined the Knights, good grief... I couldn't even buy groceries. Even Good Hunter and Mondstadt General Goods wouldn't take my money.”

“People tell me that if I just spoke more softly, or was more polite, or acted more deferentially, others may find it easier to forgive me, but the only reason they think that way is because they've never been branded a pariah before. There is no easy path to redemption when you're a social pariah. I'm more inclined to stop tiptoeing around everyone all the time and just get out there and make them respect me the old-fashioned way! As in, we square off and if they win, I humbly accept my punishment, but if they lose, they must acquiesce to my demands... Such as... Well, I mean, if I want to buy a loaf of bread, take my darn money, for crying out loud!“

the people of mondstadt wronged her and were mean to her simply bc of the blood that runs through her veins, and i think it’s bc of that she says that she’ll have her vengeance

imo her act of vengeance against the people of mondstadt is being a faultless knight, a knight who completes their duties flawlessly and is without reproach

from her story in her profile:

“...she is a law-abiding citizen and has never harmed another Mondstadter in her life. She may come across as having a somewhat frosty demeanor, but she is entirely scrupulous in her speech and conduct.”

“When Jean sends a new recruit to track down Eula in the wilds and deliver a new set of verbal orders, they always receive the same response: ‘If you have to resort to tasking the descendant of your former oppressors with doing your work, then perhaps you are not as strong as I thought’

“But despite the antagonism in her words, she will complete her newly assigned tasks to perfection. The new recruit is invariably forced to admit that with her abilities, it is no wonder she was able to achieve a captaincy within just a few years of joining the Knights.“

and honestly i just think she’s a tsundere

my evidence, your honor?

her “About Us: Feud” voiceline:

“Our feud is for the long term, so rather than get payback on a piecemeal basis, I think I'll make things easier for myself and wait for a day when I can settle the score once and for all. It could be in ten years, could even be twenty... But don't worry, I won't forget. In the meantime, I'll need you to take good care of yourself and have a happy, healthy life, okay?”

anyways about the way she spoke in her story quest

one first has to learn that this was what she was taught that way since she was young

reading up on the lawrence family based on her profile story, the renmants of the lawrence family are pretty much a cult i think

“The Lawrence Clan may have been overthrown a long time ago, but they have never given up hope of one day rising again and reclaiming their place as the ruling class. So that they are always prepared for this monumental moment, their offspring are subjected to an educational regime so unbelievably harsh that it is considered borderline abusive.

“’Noble obligations’ must be performed to absolute perfection in every possible sense, and these obligations cover etiquette, ritual, and study as well as cooking and other domestic chores.”

and also

she clearly doesn’t talk that way all the time?

personally the reason i think the mondstadters we talked to were like ‘ugh, this again?’ is bc all of the lawrence clan does it, and eula is part of the lawrence clan so it’s like, expected of her to talk that way

but the main reason she talked that way was to give an example to the traveler

she didn’t talk that way to us when we first met her, and she didn’t talk that way to amber and sarah

and some people think she still supports her family? like man

i don’t know if we went through the same story quest or not

but eula quite clearly ruined a plan of her uncle’s that was to harm mondstadt? and during that quest she quite clearly shows her disdain for her family and her family’s ideals?

“I’ve never experienced the age of ‘glory’ you always speak of, and I’ve never understood our family’s incessant pursuit of it. [...] The Lawrence Clan should never and will never become what you’ve dreamed it to be!”

not to mention her voicelines where she makes fun of her family often:

“Knights and aristocrats share the same cultural heritage, but the knights had enough sense to do away with all the superfluous detail.“

“Aristocratic etiquette is all just for show... Just smile and nod along! I was forced to learn all of the rules by heart, but even I don't take them that seriously.”

“I heard that bard sing a few songs about the Lawrence Clan... They were lighthearted and funny stories that mocked the clan in a way I've never heard anyone else do. Even I couldn't help but burst out laughing... And for this, he must pay!”

“Technically, aged Dandelion Wine should be poured into a silver goblet and allowed to breathe for 12 minutes, then you're supposed to add ice cubes, ideally so 60% of the ice is submerged beneath the wine. I refuse to do all that though, it's not worth the hassle.”

and not to mention this voiceline where she outright states that if her family crossed the line she’d end her family herself:

“If my family members refuse to change their corrupt ways, or worse, continue to cause active harm in Mondstadt... I should be the one to end them, along with the Lawrence name itself. For once, it'd be a family obligation I'd actually enjoy. And once the deed was done, I'd be free to pick any name I wanted. Or even let you pick one for me!“

also about her saying she wants to avenge her kin in her voicelines, (this is me kinda reaching, ngl) imo it could just be her sarcasm, or she could be trying to change mondstadt’s view of the lawrence clan so that others in the family like her who aren’t as attatched to the aristocratic customs and share her beliefs can walk freely in mondstadt’s streets without fear of reprisal, which can be evidenced by this voiceline:

“The name Lawrence only became a social stigma after the clan fell from grace. It was once an honor to be called a Lawrence, but unfortunately, most people have forgotten about that part of history. The Grand Master says that I am performing rather well as a knight, and that if it's not enough to restore the honor of the Lawrence name, it's certainly a strong rebuttal against the one-sided opinions so many people throw around. I'm quite satisfied with that appraisal.“

furthermore based on her voiceline about barbara, i’m pretty sure she wants to be liked? to be acknowledged in a good way?

“Everyone loves her. What's her secret? Maybe I could learn a thing or two from her... Hmm, or maybe not. I can't imagine a ‘Shining Idol’ would want anything to do with a descendant of a depraved dynasty.“

like, she doesn’t want to be thought of as just a descendant of the lawrence clan

she wants to be known for who she is, not her family

i think this is why she avoids lisa too, since lisa would have read all about her family and she doesn’t want lisa’s judgement

lastly, what she learned from amber’s grandfather, found in her profile story:

“From him, she learned an open-mindedness and down-to-earth persistence that she had heretofore not possessed. Before grievance and vengeance, before clan and outsider, one must find "oneself" first.

“One's way of living, self-preservation, objects of perseverance...

“Then call it "grievance" and name it "vengeance" — that will not change its essential strength and goodness.

“It would be Eula's very own gentle path of revenge...“

she didn’t turn against the people of mondstadt and join her family in their crusade for glory even though the people of mondstadt treated her horribly

she instead strove to be someone worthy of being respected, someone who is more than just a part of a disgraced and despised family

anyways i think that’s all i wanted to say

basically tldr: end user license agreement is a sweet and gentle person and i like her very much

#genshin impact #beta’s genshin ranting #eula

[babycracker]

Fire Meet Gasoline: Chapter 6

chapter rating: teen & up story rating: explicit pairing: morgan/m!oc (tanner drake) & farah/f!oc (sadie kennedy) word count: ~2.7k chapter warnings: none story warnings: eventual smut, canon-typical violence, au - canon divergent a/n: as you can see, pairings have changed and i've added some warnings for the future bc this entire story has taken an unexpected turn and it's going to be much bigger than manner now. please don't hesitate to let me know if you wanna be taken off of the tags!

read it on ao3 here

--

Sadie was sure that she'd have more time than this. Six months isn't long, after all. Well, technically four months. She's been basically on the run for the last two.

She'd had four months to enjoy being twenty-one before the Agency had contacted her about signing the treaty, and for the two months since not so politely telling them to shove it she'd been dodging the bounty hunter that she'd evidently been assigned to.

He was an idiot. A troll, she was sure of it. Big and imposing and clumsy and menacing… but stupid. She hasn't seen him in a few weeks though, and she's starting to relax, fairly sure that she's lost him.

So, for the first time in the week and a half that she's been in this city she's daring to leave her room at the hostel and check out some of what could well be her new home. She pulls her hoodie on, reluctantly pulling the hood over her head and eyeing the bland grey of the fabric with disdain for a moment. Dreadfully boring, and dreadfully cliché - a banshee roaming around donning a grey hood - but she still needs to keep a low profile. Just for a little bit longer.

Everyone's heard about the supernatural bar in the city, such things are not exactly common, though no one seems to know where it is. It would seem the only way to find out is by word of mouth, and unfortunately she doesn't know anyone here, and she can't exactly go up to random people and ask them where the local supernaturals hang.

It would really be preferable; at just over 4'3 she doesn't exactly fit in with humans, but she supposes she'll just have to make do as she heads down the street. She sticks cautiously close to the buildings, avoiding the laughing groups of people and curiously looking around at the bright and colourful nightlife.

She could get used to this.

But for now, she resigns herself to something less flashy, a not quite as cheerful and slightly shabby bar with a bright green neon sign shining from its façade reading Shakers.

Looks good enough for now, so she steps inside, a grin spreading across her face as she takes in the atmosphere. God she's missed being around humans, and this place is packed with some of the rowdiest ones she's ever seen. Her favourite kind.

There's no dancing space as far as she can see (disappointing) but the bar is huge and there are booths lining every wall, the space in the middle filled with several pool tables.

She weaves her way through the crowd, thankfully remaining largely unnoticed, and slips up onto a stool at the bar, breathing out a sigh of relief now that her height is less obvious. She spins around on her seat, leaning one elbow on the bar and watching a group of guys at the closest pool table, trying (unsuccessfully) to gather some kind of hint at how to play the game, when a voice from behind distracts her.

"What are you drinking, pretty?"

She turns, expecting to find a bartender but instead there's a man on her side of the bar and uncomfortably close, a charming and yet slightly unsettling smile on his face. She forces one to her own to keep her frown away, the eerie sense of this guy being bad news creeping through her mind and making her thoughts slightly foggy.

“I’m really not much of a drinker, thanks anyway.”

He’s good looking enough, blonde hair, bright blue eyes and dimples in both cheeks on proud display as he grins at her. But her advanced senses are ringing every bell inside of her, warning her not to trust him.

“C’mon darl, no one comes to a bar unless they want a drink,” he presses, reaching out and letting his fingertips brush against the sliver of bare wrist peeking out from the sleeve of her hoodie.

She gasps and recoils too fast to be able to reign it in, her face twisting into a frown as she pulls her sleeves down and clutches them in her fists to cover her hands entirely. She really should've worn her gloves.

Demon.

He lifts both hands in front of him, a kind of peace offering, and takes a slight step back. “Woah, take it easy. I didn’t mean to overstep.”

“It’s fine,” she clears her throat, hoping it’ll take the obvious rasp out of her voice as she struggles to get any words out at all. He grins and slides onto the stool next to her.

“If I promise not to touch you again, will you come and join us?”

She eyes him carefully for a moment before letting out a resigned sigh and giving a small nod. He seems nice enough, respectful enough. And she’s never been given any kind of guarantee that her perception is always one hundred percent accurate. Maybe she gets it wrong sometimes. Maybe she’s been disregarding people her entire life based on what she sees of them on the inside, and some of them didn’t deserve disregarding.

She’s been on her own since she ran away from home after her parents’ relentless persistence that she signed the Agency’s treaty became too much, she could do with some friends. Maybe now she can’t afford to turn down every single person that gives her a slight dishonest vibe. Who is completely honest these days anyway?

He grins again and gets to his feet, nodding towards one of the pool tables as a gesture for her to follow him. “I’m Axle.”

“Sadie,” she replies, reluctantly slipping off her seat and noticing the way he immediately arches an eyebrow at her height. He’s a demon, a supernatural, he’s probably already worked out that she’s not human and she just about winces as she waits for the inevitable questions.

They don’t come, however. He’s either much more polite than she’d expected, naïve and just thinks that she’s short, or he’s already worked out what she is and is choosing to stay quiet about it in this public space.

She follows him over to the pool table where a group of five other men are standing around playing a game, and a brief wave of panic surges through her when she realises that they’re probably all demons. They usually hang out with their own kind, and it would mean that she’s heavily outnumbered by a group of supernaturals far more dangerous and powerful than she is.

They barely spare her a glance though as she comes to stand at Axle’s side, and he barely offers an introduction in turn, instead waving his arm around the group and simply referring to them as “the guys”.

It’s probably for the best. She can handle one demon, should the need arise, she can slink away from him unnoticed, but once she has the attention of an entire group of them she’s not exactly sure how she’d get away if she needed to.

--

For someone that doesn’t talk a whole lot, Morgan sure spends a lot of time on the phone. Tanner hadn’t expected her to be so… clingy. She seems to really miss the rest of Unit Bravo now that she’s stuck away from them, which seems strange to him given that he’d assumed she wasn’t so different from him and would enjoy the break and getting to do her own thing (apart from having to work with him, of course) for a while.

But she’s on the phone again. Granted, she’s talking to Adam about their mission, but still. The number of questions she’d had about what they were supposed to do had been alarming to Tanner until he’d realised that she was most likely just coming up with the need for so much clarification as an excuse to speak to someone from her team.

Whatever her reasons though, he’s bored. He gets bored quite often with her, he realises, and he finds himself watching her on the other side of the room from where he’s kicked back on the couch, obviously and shamelessly checking her out as she paces and speaks in a hushed voice into the phone. Maybe it’d be different if he worked with her a little more; in regard to both her flirtation and their current job. At first, it’d been fun to irk her and get on her nerves but it’s already starting to get old - even for him - and he decides that maybe he should make more of an effort to be agreeable if they’re going to be stuck together for now. Or he could at least sleep with her. That might relieve some of her tension and get her to stop being such a hardass, at least.

She runs a hand through her hair and turns to face him, scowling when she notices his attention and lifting her middle finger at him before turning away.

He grins and sits up straight when she finally ends the call and turns to face him again.

“They want us to go to that bar tonight,” she tells him before he has a chance to say anything, and he groans dramatically and slides down to a slouching position, throwing his head back against the back of the couch and closing his eyes.

“It’s all work with you,” he complains, opening his eyes again when he hears her moving and watching her cross the room and start to pull her jacket on.

“We are on a job at the moment, so yeah, it’s all work.”

“You know this place isn’t gonna be like Mickey’s, right?”

She pulls a face, only small and only for the briefest second but he catches it anyway and for the first time sees how uncertain she is about having to be in that kind of environment.

“You gonna be good?” he adds, trying to sound at least a little sympathetic.

It actually surprises him how much he cares about how much this is going to affect her, and not just for the job. It’s going to be a pain in the ass, definitely. Having to keep an eye on her and make sure she’s not overwhelmed while trying to do his job at the same time, but more than that, whenever he thinks about how painful this is going to be for Morgan his stomach twists slightly, churning uncomfortably and making him feel… he doesn’t even know. Worried? Is this what worry for somebody else is?

Probably not. He’s probably just dreading having to babysit her.

--

He can already practically hear her teeth grinding by the time they get to the door of Shakers, let alone inside. They can hear (to be fair, godawful) rock music as well as the noise of what sounds like a pretty big crowd through the door, and he casts a glance in her direction. Her jaw’s clenched, brow furrowed, and eyes narrowed as she stares at the door before turning to the side and meeting his gaze.

“What? We going in or not?” she snaps, and he shrugs and waves a hand at her, gesturing to her general demeanour.

“I dunno, are we?”

She rolls her eyes and steps away from him, but he sees her shoulders rise and fall as she takes a deep breath before pushing the door open.

It’s loud. Really loud. Not too bright at least, but even he immediately catches the faint scent of alcohol, cigarettes and weed in the air. He can only imagine how strong it is to her.

His concerns for her are quickly overshadowed though when it takes less than a minute for his eyes to land on a group of men playing pool near the back of the room. He recognises them straight away, which means that they’re going to recognise him straight away and they’ll be gone before he and Morgan have gotten anywhere near them.

“Shit,” he mutters, ducking his head and turning to face Morgan more so as to turn himself away from them.

“What?” she snaps, glaring at him and not seeming to realise that something’s gone wrong, too caught up in trying to distract herself from the sensations bombarding her.

“I know them,” he answers distractedly, looking her up and down for a moment before casting a quick glance around the room in search of somewhere quieter. Something that doesn’t seem to exist in this bar.

He grabs her hand and pulls her over to the bar, nudging her to sit up on one of the stools and standing beside her, draping an arm over her shoulders and leaning in close to her. The close contact seemed to work the previous day when she was starting to become overwhelmed on the street outside, there’s no reason to think that it won’t work again in here.

“What do you mean you know them?” she asks, her voice a little less impatient as she leans back against him slightly, and he doesn’t miss the soft sigh of relief she lets out as he feels her body start to relax a little.

He doesn’t know why physical contact with him, of all people, seems to help her out but he’s going to count it as a bonus when it means that he’s able to set her at ease enough for her to function in these situations.

He glances back towards the pool table, but looks away again just as quickly, leaning down closer to Morgan to hide his face when he sees that the group are starting towards the door.

“They know you?” Morgan finally seems to click on, looking quickly towards the group and then back at him, and he only just realises how close he’s gotten to her when her nose just about brushes against his when she does it.

“Mhm,” he distractedly hums in reply, and she studies him for a moment before a small smirk crosses her face.

“I’ve been trying to get this close to you since we met, and now you’re telling me all it would’ve taken was a few demons to scare you?”

This bitch. He frowns at her, his arm dropping away from her shoulders as he straightens up again and moves away from her, temporarily forgetting that he’s trying to hide himself.

“I am not scared.” He spits indignantly.

Of all the things for her to say. Scared.

“You sure, sweetheart?”

Condescension drips from every word and his frown deepens into a glare. “Fuck you.”

“They’re going to see you,” she ignores his insult and nods behind him, and his eyes dart towards the group that have thankfully already moved past him when he remembers that whatever she thinks about him, them seeing him would be a disaster and if they knew that he was after them they’d be looking for them for weeks.

He subtly watches them go, waiting until the last two people are through the door, a blonde guy and a freakishly short girl, and then grabs Morgan’s hand and pulls her off of the stool. “Come on.”

He practically drags her out onto the street, making sure to keep a fair distance away from the group without losing sight of them through the crowd until he realises where they’re going.

“You’ve gotta be kidding me,” Morgan mutters from beside him, obviously realising the same thing at the same time, and he stops and watches them step through the doors of the same motel that they’re staying in.

He grins and looks over at her, letting go of her hand. “Our job just got a whole lot easier.”

“You think?”

He doesn’t bother answering, just heads towards the motel once he’s sure that they’ve had a chance to get to their room and he’s not about to run into them in the lobby.

He’s stayed here countless times, he knows pretty much the entire reception staff, it shouldn’t be too hard for him to find out what room they’re staying in and pay them a visit when they’re not expecting it. Then all he needs to do is convince Morgan that he doesn’t need her help with his next job, they can go their separate ways, and everyone will be happy.

--

tags (let me know if you want to be added or removed): @admdmrtn @masonsfangs @homeformyheart @mmerengue @agentsunshine @bravomckenzie @freckles-spangledvampire @mistyeyedbi @kelseaaa @fhauvilles @amlovelies @forestcreatures @maraudern05 @kat-tia801 @alyssalauren @agentnolastname @utterlyinevitable @masonscig

#twc writing #the wayhaven chronicles #unit bravo #a du mortain #n sewell #f hauville #twc morgan #tanner drake #sadie kennedy #fire meet gasoline #chapter update #n*fw #kat writes

[medicifm]

*  not  me  actually  writing  an  intro  the  night  before  like  i  always  mean  to  😳  hennyway  hey  biddies  ,  i'm  chloe  ,  im  in  the  snowy  part  of  pst  ,  &  i  use  she / her  pns  .  i’ve  been  . . . . . . .  scouring  the  tags  for  an  rp  like  this  so  im  so  excited  to  bring  this  newish  muse  of  mine  here  !   im  here to  do  the  honours  of  introducing  my  himbo - on - the outside , manipulative - shit - on - the - inside  . . .  oscar  🤡

(  twenty  three , cis  man , he / him  ) ✉ ― hey  babes , have  you  met  OSCAR  MEDICI ?  they’re  working  here  as  THE  HEAD  CHEF  AT  LORENZO’S ,  a  few  villas  down  from  where  you’re  staying  .  you  might  hear  them  singing  ALRIGHTY  APHRODITE  BY  PEACH  PIT  playing  from  their  villa  ,  it’s  their  favourite  song  .  yes  ,  they  hear  that  they  look  like  JACK  GILINSKY  a  lot  ,  actually  -  it’s  really  uncanny  .  their  friends  back  home  in  SYDNEY , AUSTRALIA  say  that  if  they  were  on  a  tv  show  ,  their  trope  would  be  THE  WOLF  IN  SHEEP’S  CLOTHING  ,  how  funny  is  that  ? ✎ chloe , 22 , she/her , pst

𝐢  .

pinterest  |  wanted  plots  |  

𝐢𝐢  .

name  :  oscar  gabriel  medici

age  :  twenty  three

dob  /  sign  :  december  4th  ,  1997  /  sagittarius  sun  ,  leo  moon  ,  libra  rising 

pob  :  sydney , australia

gender / pronouns  :  cis  man  &  he / him / his

career :  head  chef  at  lorenzo’s  ,  full - time  heathen  ,  professional  disappointment  for  mothers  everywhere  .

drinking / drugs / smoking :  yes / more  often  than  he’d  admit / never .  

religion  :  jewish  background  ,  currently  non - practicing .

physical  :  jack  gilinsky  fc ,  dark  brown / black  longish  curls  (  reference  )  ,  dark  brown  eyes  ,  canon  jack  g’s  tattoos  ,  no  piercings  ,  6′2″  ,  175  lbs  ,  lean  but  strong  .  tattoos  a  la  canon!jack  ,  pearly  white  smile  that  he  may  . . .  or  may  not  . . .   use  crest  3D  white  strips  weekly  to  maintain  .  lots  of  burns  &  scars  from  kitchen  mishaps  on  his  hands  &  arms  .

traits  :  hard - working  ,  flighty  ,  intelligent  ,  hedonistic  ,  charismatic  ,  intense  ,  volatile  ,  

other  :  speaks  weird  french  (  aussie  accent  tings  )  ,  tans  easily  but  wears  sunscreen  nonetheless  ,  works  hard  parties  harder  ,  can’t  read  a  lick  of  french  but  spends  a  lot  of  his  free  time  with  a  coffee  &  a  new  paperback  ,  has  a  bit  of  an  internal  vendetta  against  rich  people  (  for  no  real  reason  ,  he  just  doesn’t  like  most  of  them  )  ,  has  ins  with  a  bunch  the  local  farmers  &  visits  them  weekly  ,  pretends  he  isn’t  lowkey  addicted  to  nicotine  administered  via  a  puff  bar  ,  liquor  of  preference  is  tequila  or  red  wine  ,  drives  a  lil  vespa  around  town  for  the  gag  of  it  (  loves  seeing  it  haphazardly  parked  amongst  a  bunch  of  luxury  cars  )  ,  

character  inspo  :  jess  mariano  (  gilmore  girls  )  , gordon  ramsey  🤡 ,  patrick verona ( 10 things i hate about you ) , ferris bueller ( ferris bueller’s day off ) , han solo ( star wars ) .

𝐢𝐢𝐢  .

oscar’s  arrival  was  as  unwanted  to  his  parents  as  could  be  :  a  father  whose  tendencies  leaned  towards  alcoholism  &  abusing  whoever  was  in  arms  reach  ,  a  mother  whose  life  was  more  or  less  spent  at  the  nursing  home  she  worked  as  a  nurse  at  ,  evading  home  .  he  became  a  self - inflicted  loner  ,  preferring  to  do  literally  the  exact  opposite  of  what  was  expected  or  wanted  from  him  .  he  had  a  few  friends  he  ran  with  ,  but  watching  them  all  go  off  &  study  or  prepare  for  university  solidified  in  oscar’s  mind  that  the  non - traditional  route  was  for  him  .  growing  up  by  the  water  ,  oscar  always  felt  more  drawn  to  skip  school  &  head  to  the  beach  than  he  did  obeying  his  parents  wishes  .   

one  of  his  solaces  was  his  grandfather  ,  gabriel  ,  who  owned  an  italian  restaurant  in  a  beach  town  north  of  sydney  .  whenever  the  weather  was bad  &  oscar  felt  like  ditching  class  ,  he’d  head  over  to  his  nono’s  restaurant  where  his  ass  would  be  put  to  work  as  soon  as  he  set  eyes  on  the  restaurant  .  it  was  tough  work  ,  but  challenging  in  a  way  that  fanned  the  flames  in  oscar’s  heart  ,  rather  than  dimming  them  .  by  the  time  he was  a  teenager  he  was  working  in  the  restaurant  everyday  after  school  , an  agreement  between  him  &  his  grandfather  framed  on  the  back  wall  that  stated  that  as  long  as  oscar  kept  from  flunking  out  ,  he  was  allowed  to  spend  as  little  or  as  much  time  in  the  kitchen  as  he  pleased .  

his  absolute  defiance  of  anything  traditional  &  following  the  rules  made  him  unpopular  with  adults  ,  but  lowkey  cool  with  the  girls  .  by  the  time  he  was  sixteen  ,  he  was  losing  his  focus  on  the  restaurant  &  his  grades  &  spending  more  &  more  time  chasing  after  girls  .  his  nono  tried  to  get oscar  to  come  back  &  focus  ,  but  as  always  ,  anything  he’s  asked  to  do  quickly  becomes  the  thing  he’s  running  from  the  most  .

tw  :  death  ,  cancer  .  around  his  eighteenth  birthday  ,  his  grandfather  suddenly  fell  ill  with  a  rare  form  of  cancer  that  took  his  life  six  weeks  after  diagnosis  ,  which  rocked  oscar’s  world  .  he  felt  overwhelming  guilt  that  he  hadn’t  spent  more  time  with  his  grandfather  ,  which  manifested  itself  as  oscar  dropping  out  of  school  a  year  shy  of  graduation  to  commit  himself  fully  to  perfecting  his  grandfather’s  techniques  ,  learning  all  of  his  recipes  (  read  :  pouring  over  dozens  of  handwritten  cookbooks )  in  some  failed  attempt  to  get  back  some  time  with  him  .  oscar  hadn’t  been  close  with  his  parents  in  years  ,  more  or  less  seeing  them  as  wardens  of  a  prison  he  wanted  nothing  to  do  with  .  his  grandfather’s  will  left  him  the  deed  to  the  restaurant  ,  with  an  ask  that  oscar  would  promise  to  act  on  whatever  he  felt  called  towards  ,  rather  than  doing  what  others  expected  of  him  .  to  be  candid  ,  this  whole  situation  crushed  him  .

eventually  ,  he  decided  he’d  had  enough  of  the  stifling  community  he’d  grown  up  in  .  he  sold  the  restaurant  to  one  of  the  regulars  ,  a  wealthy  man  who  he’d  come  to  acknowledge  as  somewhat  of  an  uncle  ;  a  safe  pair  of  hands  who  would  treat  his grandfather’s  legacy  with  as  much  passion  &  respect  as  oscar  himself  would  .  so  he  packed  a  bag  ,  texted  his  mom  that  he  was  going  traveling  ,  &  got  on  a  flight  that  evening  .  he  traveled  all  around  -  first  through  central  america  ,  then  through  europe  ,  throughout  asia  &  africa  ,  &  spent  a  few  months  driving  a  van  across  the  continental  united  states  &  canada  for  fun  . 

eventually  ,  he  started  getting  low - ish  on  money  ,  &  decided  to  settle  in  one  of  his  favourite  places  he’d  visited  :  southern  france  .  he  arrived  in  early  2018  ,  taking  on  whatever  menial  tasks  he  could  while  learning  french  until  he  got  a  position  as  a  line  cook  in  an  italian  restaurant  .  a  few  years  later  ,  he’s  made  his  way  up  to  filling  the  head  chef  position  ,  an  honour  he  takes  with  pride  .  he’s  implemented  many  of  his  own  recipes  while  using  flavours  he’s  learned  from  his  travels  ,  with  ingredients  straight  from  local  farmers  .  he’s  earned  the  restaurant  a  two michelin  star  rating  ,  &  is  constantly  striving  for  more  to  get  that  last  star  (  both  for  his  own  ego  as  well  as  a  secret  debt  to  his  grandfather  )  .

𝐢𝐯  .

ok  but  that  vid  where  gordon  puts  two  pieces  of  bread  on  someone’s  head  &  calls  them  an  idiot  sandwich  ?  that’s  oscar  .  intense  as  fuck  in  the  kitchen  ,  &  best  nobody  catch  an  attitude  about  it  bc  he  will  not  hesitate  to  hand  them  their  ass  on  a  silver  platter  .

another  gordon  reference  :  you  know  how  he’s  the  spawn  of  satan with  adults  ,  but  the  sweetest  ,  most  helpul  guy  with  children  ?  that’s  oscar  with  his  staff  vs  people  he  wants  something  from  .  whether  its  to  sleep  with  them  (  usually  his  first  instinct  to  be  fair  )  ,  their  money  or  clout  ,  or  to  get  into  some  wild  adventure  some  random  resort  staff  wouldn’t  dream  of  getting  into  ,  he  can  turn  on  the  charm  whenever  needed  .

can  go  from  absolutely  demoralizing  someone  in  the  kitchen  to  stepping  out  into  the  lounge  to  schmooze  with  his  friends  or  cougars  who  leave  phat  tips  in  0.2  seconds  .  the  speed  at  which  his  mood  can  completely  180  is  one  of  the  seven  world  wonders  (  last  i  checked  )  .

his  love  language  is  absolutely  acts  of  service  .  catch  him  actually  falling  in  love  once  in  a  blue  moon  &  making  it  his  mission  to  cook  her  extravagant  meals  everyday  .  

the  wolf  in  sheep’s  clothing  label  epitomizes  his  nice  ,  helpful  ,  charismatic  exterior  ,  while  ulterior  motives  &  disdain  for  those  who  grew  up  with  more  money  than  he  did  lurk  beneath  the  surface  . 

he  can  be  MEAN  when  someone  fucks  him  over  or  pushes  him  farther  than  he  wants  -  isn’t  afraid  to  go  for  the  low  blows  or  send  someone  home  with  an  identity  crisis  if  it  protects  himself  .

lowkey  alcoholic  but  he’s  not  ready  for  that  conversation  yet  .  he  sees  it  more  as  perks  of  the  location  &  atmosphere  he’s  found  himself  in  .

also  lowkey  falls  in  love  HARD  ,  like  this  man  is  a  closeted  romantic  but  self - sabotages  all  potential  relationships  before  they  can  get  to  that  point  out  of  fear  he’ll  be  unable  to  live  life  of  his  own  volition  (  takes  a  flaky  philophobic  sagittarius  to  know  a  flaky  philophobic  sagittarius  🤡  )  .  has  probably  only  had  a  few  real  relationships  besides  flings  bc  he’s  afraid  .

𝐯  .

check  out  my  wanted  plots  tag  listed  here  ,  as  well  as  my  pinterest  wanted  plots  board  here  .  here   are  some  other  suggestions  hehe  :

best  friend  /  ride  or  die  :  someone  who  knows  about  his  past  ,  keeps  him  grounded  when  he’s  lk  spiraling  &  wants  to  drop  everything  &  flee  to  some  far  flung  corner  of  the  earth  .

actual  relationship  :  it  was  fast - burn  with  deep  feelings  (  not  them  thinking  they’re  soulmates  after  dating  for  a  month  . . .  pete  &  ariana  type  beat  )  but  completely  unrealistic  .  they  have  their  own  life  ,  he’s  pretty  much  tied  to  the  restaurant  ,  not  to  mention  his  lack  of  sharing  anything  about  his  childhood / life  back  home  .  they  loved  &  cared  for  each  other  ,  but  crashed  &  burned  fairly  quickly  because  of  how  idealistic  it  was  .  they  can  either  be  on  bad  or  good  terms  now  .

hateship  with  sexual  tension  😈

summer  flings  !!

fake  boyfriend  :  he  shows  up  on  her  arm  to  her  family’s  events  where  she’s  expected  to  have  a  partner  .  it’s  not  a  real  relationship  ,  but  her  parents  don’t  need  to  know  that  .  he  plays  the  part  &  satisfies  her  parents  beyond  the  bare  minimum  ,  &  in  return  she  invites  him  to  parties  ,  takes  him  out  on  her  family’s  yacht  ,  etc  etc  .  we  luv  some  symbiosis  

i  can  always  use  more  fwbs  hehehe

squad  :  a  group  of  people  who  do  everything  together  ,  have  a  chaotic  group  chat  ,  have  nicknames  for  one  another  ,  are  utd  on  each  other’s  sex  lives  ,  party  all  night  then  show  up  to  brunch  hungover  together  .  

cat  &  mouse  :  someone  he’s  pursuing  who  isn’t  quite  giving  in  ,  &  vice  versa  .  maybe  it’s  been  going  on  a  few  years  ,  everytime  they’re  in  st  tropez  they  have  this  weird  lil  flirtationship  thing  goin  on  until  she  leaves  ,  they  forget  about  one  another  ,  then  pick  it  right  back  up  when  she  returns  .

confidant  :  preferably  someone  from  a  working  class  background  who  understands  his  plight  of  being  a  worker  amongst  people  who  expect  to  be  waited  on  .

enemies  :  they  don’t  like  his  attitude  ,  &  he  doesn’t  like  them  in  return  .  lots  of  eye  rolls  ,  shit  talking  ,  &  tension  between  their  mutual  friends  .

we’re  sleeping  together  but  we  shouldn’t  be  but  that’s  half  the  fun :  for  whatever  reason  they  became  friends  ,  starting  hooking  up  despite  it  not  being  a  good  idea  (  read  :  he’s  exes  with  one  of  her  friends  ,  her  parents  want  her  focused  on  career  ,  they’re  part  of  the  same  friend  group  ,  etc )  . . . but  now  they  can’t  stop  .  lots  of  stolen  glances  across  rooms  ,  squeezing  past  one  another  in  a  crowded  club  just  close  enough  for  a  quick  touch  to  the  back  ,  quietly  leaving  one  another’s  places  the  morning  after  &  playing  dumb  to  anyone  who  asks  . 

#villasintro #eeeek im hyped !!

[elliotfm]

hey guys ! i’m jules and i’m super excited to open; i have two super clingy cats in case any of you ever need a visual pick-me-up, i’m a uni student in canada and a Big skincare and dark chocolate junkie, more than likely gonna be typing replies while indulging in either jsyk ! i tried to keep it short since i’m a rambly bitch, but links to elliot’s basic stats and her wc page will be up soon — though i have some under the read more — as well as a playlist whenever i find the energy to set it up here FLDKSJGSD also pardon the lack of theme, i forgot the url for the preview and code link for the one i wanted to use but i’ll have it figured out shortly ! anyways, without further ado:

◤  *  kim doyeon  ;  twenty-one  ;  cis female  ;  she/her  —  is  that  who  i  think  it  is  over  there  ?  outer  banks  very  own  kook  ,  elliot hong  .  makes  sense  ‘cause  i  can  practically  hear  into it  by  chase atlantic  blasting  through  their  headphones  .  plus  who  else  would  you  find  out  at  the boneyard  right  now  ?  some  say  they're  pretty  astute  ,  but  it's  the  imperious  reputation  i'd  watch  out  for  .  i  wonder  if  they're  still  a student / heiress  and  obsessing  about  keeping  up  with  their  bongs, random shoes and empty bottles of dom on the living room floor  &  a bite as big as her bark  vibe  .  [  ooc  ;  jules/21+/nt/she/her  ]

tw: drug and alcohol mention

the middle child of her parents, elliot is the fourth of her father’s five children

her mother is his second ( now ex — ) wife, though they remain cordial and have since moved on

grew up with a silver spoon, her dad being a wall street giant who would split his time between nyc and, once upon a time, connecticut — though it ultimately became a back-and-forth from nyc and the outer banks when elle was about four

her mother was adopted into an old money family ( on the lower end of that group ) in charlotte when she was a baby and had become something of a socialite when young, but shifted to becoming an entrepreneur. of what ?? i still haven’t figured that out LFJDGS

has a half-sister and half-brother from her dad’s first marriage, tallulah ( aka tally, a pain in my ass over on my indie fdlkjgs ) and bennett, and is basically a mini tally as all she really had were brothers and was Attached to her big sis whenever she’d visit

and as for her older and younger brother..... they might be wcs soon enough so we’ll leave that be for now DFLSGKJ

now onto ELLE ! she was the princess of the younger three hong kids, like the apple of her mother’s eye and her father’s Biggest tormentor

aka would hog the phone whenever he couldn’t come home for the night to tell him good night, hounded him to read her bedtime stories, pretty much always got her way in the most wholesome way when she was a kid

like i said before, moved to the obx when she was four because her mom used to visit when she was a kid and loved it; it was also due to its convenience in seeing her maternal grandparents regularly, its quieter nature in comparison to the affluent hubs for businessmen outside of manhattan and just in general

her dad just went along because it’s what his wife wanted and fuck it, at least the kids wouldn’t hound them to take them to places beyond their urban surroundings as often DLSFJDS

growing up, she wasn’t Too much of a brat but liked having the spotlight on her — she’d accredit it to tally’s influence AND her parents caving to her whims more often than not — and was very sociable and respectful even back in primary school

LOVED to explore, and, while not a tomboy per se, would take part in some activities her brothers or other boys in her grade participated in; be it to bond, trail along her siblings’ every move because she didn’t wanna stray far from action, or to prove that she can hold her own, she’d do it

uhhh overall a cute, if not high-maintenance, kid, but her teen years ?? yikes, people would be in for a ride bc this is when she REALLY started to emulate tally and shift her boldness towards riskier shit

basically could’ve been a main character on outer banks itself with her reckless antics and partying as a teenager…. and now, even SGDLKF

could’ve been considered a typical kook, save for her wild streak; she could hang with the pogues and wouldn’t let her slight superiority complex come into play unless she was challenged or something, otherwise she’d chase the party and the fun wherever she could find it

loves fashion and being the hottest in the room, didn’t need to step on toes to get further but would do so at times Solely to make a point/to call someone out on their shit

is now attending columbia u, rather she’s taking a Break as she makes sure she’s content with the path she’s taking ( aka being the trashy 21 year old she wants to be, chilling at the family home with just her siblings and daddy’s money with no Major worries involving the near future )

isn’t the most studious person, but she’d gotten far enough to begin wrapping up her major whenever she decides to head back

though.. the entire time has been mostly spent sleeping with some of her rich friends, drinking and smoking pot, with the occasional hit of whatever clean enough drug that one of her friends had on them

also spent a lot of her time meeting up with her socialite big sis as a plus one to some cooler events, so while she’s not famous, her name has made the rounds where it matters given her surname’s already established relevance in nyc

when she’s not getting an education and is homebound instead, she’s pissing off her neighbours with her house parties at the family home on the beach, doing dumb shit the second she’s inside of a gala or club — albeit with partial discretion that’s completely ignored whenever around other young adults — and just chilling poolside and staying hydrated fgkldjsg

personality and shit

if i were to use a label to describe her, she'd be a mix between the princess/baby doll, the hedonist and the reveller i think ?? i don’t even know where to place her LKSDFGJLK

self-confidence is through the roof, KNOWS she’s pretty and doesn’t really let rumours or negativity get her down — aside from wanting to unleash hell if someone keeps irritating her for whatever reason

she’s messy as hell, but around the uptight, live-through-your-kids parents of kooklandia she puts on the façade of a poised young woman who has Some fun because she knows it bodes well.. only even then, she doesn’t maintain it bc honestly, who cares —

she’s not a complete dick per se, but she can be snide and boastful when provoked

has something of a superiority complex, independent and lives lavishly with reckless abandon

non-committal yet sensible when it comes to who she sleeps with; typically has a couple of stable fuck buddies but has had some one night stands if she’s feeling it

keeps her true inner circle small, but gets off on attention and likes to stay cordial with some people, so she’s got quite a few friends all the same

like i said earlier, will hang with the pogues and thinks the whole class rivalry thing is kind of stupid when it means sticking with her own would mean dealing with parent pleasers, polo shirt enthusiasts and either being too straight-laced or too destructive for her liking

.. so she’s a far cry from her sister in that regard, otherwise rip GLSKJ

though that doesn’t stop her from unleashing her pompous attitude onto a pogue when it seems appropriate, aka doing anything to piss her off

there really isn’t much to expand on tbh, though i will say that her emboldened nature and need for a good time however she can get it comes out more than her uglier side ( except her vanity. that’ll never go away KSFDG )

some quick plot ideas

a childhood friend or two, pretty standard idea there

could carry over into a trio type of thing depending on where she stands with either of them, or they’re a different couple of pals she’s made over the years

family friends, aka nyc kids or people who’ve rubbed elbows with either of elle’s parents, though they don’t Actually have to be friends of course JGDSFKL

her best friend and confidante, someone she can have cute moments with between the chaos and one of the few people that elle would probably accost someone for if they hurt the other in any way

enemies are always fun ! probably rooted in a competitive streak more than anything else but i’m all ears for a more complex reason

ex-hookup(s), current hookup(s), throw it all at me klgfjd

a hateship/ewb would be fun with her too, oh my god sfdgklj

FAKE FRIENDS !! either in the past or currently, probably stayed friends for the sake of their appearances but have a lot of quiet disdain for each other — though elliot wouldn’t be too bothered by that situation beyond being around someone she deems soul-sucking, face value hype and knowing they probably need her more than she needs them gives her too much satisfaction fkskgls

an ex-something, open to anyone. either someone her parents forced on her to straighten her out a tad that she wound up liking…. after a good period of her telling them to fuck off sdglk or someone she’d been seeing for a while at her own accord, likely someone her parents wouldn’t approve of so readily. would’ve ended the same way: with her calling it off because she didn’t want to settle down, not even for a relationship ( and perhaps bc she’s scared of commitment with her cracked family dynamic that’s been a thing since birth, but that’s another story jsdfkg )

or we can just as easily do high school exes who only really stayed together until graduation bc their parents were being Some level of overbearing with how they’d be such a good couple — not that there was nothing there, just nothing beyond sex and being some kind of status symbol to each other, idk lfkgsd

her designated event pals would be super fun ?? sdgkflj like they go to all of these big parties and galas with their families, break off to do their own thing bc those events are boring as fuck, and head back to her place before she throws an after-party of sorts. they’d be decent friends beyond this though, them being someone she trusts a good bit compared to others in her circle

#╰ 💎 . ❪ 𝐖𝐄 𝐏𝐀𝐂𝐊𝐈𝐍' 𝐃𝐈𝐀𝐌𝐎𝐍𝐃 𝐏𝐈𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐋𝐒 ↝ jules talks ｡ #outertmintro #tw drugs #tw alcohol #now that that's done i can get some water bc i'm Parched FGDSJKL

[braverytaught]

please meta about minerva's thoughts when severus became headmaster !

@lamentedhope || send me meta topics || always accepting

okay so to answer this one i want to go back to when severus was initially appointed his position at hogwarts.

because i know i’ve mentioned this before, but minerva, initially, fiercely protested severus’s appointment. she knew that severus was a death eater, and, while this is, i think, mere conjecture on my part, i also believe that she knew that severus had been the one to deliver news of the prophecy to voldemort. this was more than enough for her to severely dislike and distrust him.

she had no idea why dumbledore vouched so firmly for severus, why dumbledore helped severus avoid prosecution, why dumbledore trusted him enough to place him in charge of students. she knew that dumbledore knew or believed something that led him to protect and trust severus, but her usual trust in dumbledore didn’t extend so far as to prevent her from questioning his decision to hire severus. in fact, she protested it vehemently, more than once, until dumbledore asked her if she seriously believed that he would bring danger to his students.

that quieted her, but she was still against severus’s appointment, and made no real effort to hide this fact. in fact, i’m just going to quote from a thread i wrote a long while back on this very subject:

    Her new tactic for coping with the unfortunate presence of Severus Snape in the castle was to ignore his existence completely as often as she was able, and make any necessary interactions brief and chilly; she saw no reason to give him any illusions about her opinion of him. This had, at least, prevented any incidents, though it had also made her snappier and more mulish than she usually was before the start of a new term.

as we are all aware, minerva almost never hides her dislike for people. she will maintain a veneer of politeness, but she makes little effort to hide her disdain, and i’m afraid that severus endured some pretty overt unfriendliness from her during the first few years of his teaching career. all this to stay that they started from a bad place: minerva neither liked severus nor trusted him. she tolerated his presence only because of her trust in dumbledore.

what matters, of course, is that their relationship improved over the years by quite a bit. they were never best friends, and minerva didn’t necessarily agree with many of severus’s attitudes or methods, but she had to admit that severus was, if irascible, also capable and, in some ways, good at his job in much the same way she was good at hers (in fact, harry compares the two of them at his very first potions lesson: “Like Professor McGonagall, Snape had the gift of keeping a class silent without effort.”). over time, their rivalry became a far friendlier one than before. severus never gave any reason to believe that he had not really repented, and gradually minerva began to trust him as a colleague directly rather than merely trusting dumbledore’s convictions.

they argued over quidditch. they argued over houses. they argued over which students were the worst troublemakers. they argued over what teaching methods were most affective. they argued over trivial things, and minerva enjoyed it. she and severus ended up becoming something like dumbledore’s right and left hands: when there was trouble, she and severus usually flanked dumbledore on the way to it, and i do think the three of them shared many confidences and concerns. no matter what odds she and severus may have been at on a casual basis, whenever there was real trouble, they were on the same side, and minerva grew to rely on and be grateful for that assistance.

all this to say that, over the course of some fifteen years of working together, minerva’s initial bitter dislike for severus gradually became real respect, real trust. they were, on some level, friends. they were certainly colleagues who respected each other, took pleasure from their banter, and had each other’s backs when it mattered. minerva really believed that severus was on their side. she vouched for him to others. she defended him against those who doubted his motives. she felt concern for him when he spied for the order after voldemort’s rise to power. 

and then he murdered albus dumbledore, minerva’s greatest colleague and mentor.

and i don’t think i have to say how devastated she was. actually, i have said so, in this meta – which, actually, i’m going to draw from just now, for a couple of different points.

here is minerva’s initial reaction to being told the news:

“Snape killed Dumbledore,” said Harry.

She stared at him for a moment, then swayed alarmingly; Madam Pomfrey, who seemed to have pulled herself together, ran forward, conjuring a chair from thin air, which she pushed under McGonagall.

“Snape,” repeated McGonagall faintly, falling into the chair. “We all wondered … but he trusted … always … Snape … I can’t believe it… .”

she already knew dumbledore was dead. the alarming swaying comes from her shock at the realization that it was severus who did it. 

“He always hinted that he had an ironclad reason for trusting Snape,” muttered Professor McGonagall, now dabbing at the corners of her leaking eyes with a tartan-edged handkerchief. “I mean … with Snape’s history … of course people were bound to wonder … but Dumbledore told me explicitly that Snape’s repentance was absolutely genuine… . Wouldn’t hear a word against him!”

and here we have an acknowledgment of dumbledore’s defense of severus. she clearly never knew the reason that dumbledore “hinted” at, but we can see that minerva had had explicit conversations with dumbledore on the topic, had tried to say words against him, and had ultimately chosen to accept dumbledore’s trust in him. 

but what really gets me is this:

“This is all my fault,” said Professor McGonagall suddenly. She looked disoriented, twisting her wet handkerchief in her hands. “My fault. I sent Filius to fetch Snape tonight, I actually sent for him to come and help us! If I hadn’t alerted Snape to what was going on, he might never have joined forces with the Death Eaters. I don’t think he knew they were there before Filius told him, I don’t think he knew they were coming.”

i won’t go on about how un-mcgonagall-like minerva’s acting here, bc i’ve already done that in the meta i linked, but here we can see, in the midst of her shock and grief, a disoriented minerva realizing that her own explicit trust in severus had led, in part, to dumbledore’s murder. i sent filius to fetch snape tonight. i don’t think he knew they were there before filius told him, i don’t think he knew they were coming. she’s trying to blame herself, but what she’s really blaming is the trust she had built up in severus, the trust she had spent years building – all of it, apparently, a lie.

that’s the thing. she’s shocked and devastated by dumbledore’s murder, is heavily grieving the loss of him, but she’s also harboring a personal sense of betrayal from severus. it isn’t just that he’s betrayed dumbledore, who vouched for him so adamantly, who had protected severus and believed in him for so many long years. it isn’t just that he’s turned his back on all decent wizardkind and slunk back, apparently, to his old ways, his old master. it isn’t just that he’s become an enemy of her cause.

he’s hurt her, personally. she does not trust easily, she does not forgive easily, but she gave him both, and he spat in the face of it. not only does she feel betrayed, feel blindsided, she feels stupid. stupid, for sitting next to him at the staff table for years, for teasing him about quidditch, for relying on him in a pinch, stupid for calling for him and for being grateful when he arrived. 

she had been fooled. and minerva hates playing the fool.

so yeah. it’s fair to say that, in the midst of her grief for dumbledore, is a terrible, bitter anger with severus. the trust is broken. the friendship is broken. those long years of camaraderie are soured. and it’s worse, now, the hatred she feels for him, worse than it ever was fifteen years ago, because this time it’s so much more personal. to have thought they were friends, and to have been so utterly wrong, is something she cannot forgive.

and then. yeah. she’s acting headmistress after dumbledore’s death. she should have been appointed headmistress. as horrible a situation it is, to have to succeed him because of his murder, she prepared herself for it, for the burden of it. she expected it. it was the natural order of things: as deputy headmistress, she was in the direct line to receive dumbledore’s position, and to do her best to use it to protect her students.

and then severus snape returns, with death eater cronies and the full backing of the ministry, and is announced headmaster. the position that should have been hers. the position that was only open because he had murdered its last occupant. he should have returned to hogwarts in chains; instead he could stroll through the door and own the place. yes, i think it’s fair to say that she didn’t take it well.

although i should probably be clear that – she didn’t protest, not forcefully. when a staff meeting was called with the ministry and board of governors to announce the staff changes at hogwarts, minerva did not stand and demand her position. she did not even complain about being stripped of her title of deputy headmistress. no, because as soon as she saw severus snape appear in the same room as ministry officials, with no moves made to arrest him, she understood the situation. she understood that there was no point, now, in protest. she understood that the ministry was wholly under the dark lord’s power, and that to make more than a token fuss was to risk being removed from hogwarts herself.

and just as in umbridge’s time as headmistress, minerva knew that she could not allow that to happen. now, more than ever, her students needed her, needed someone to stand between them and the death eaters running their school. her resolve there was set, though she felt a deep sadness at the thought that, even at the height of the dark lord’s power during the first war, hogwarts had never been breached. and now a death eater is headmaster, and all she can do is grit her teeth and accept it.

but you can be sure that she treated severus (and the carrows) with as much disdain as she was capable of. gone was any trace of warmth of friendship or respect towards severus. she obeyed his orders and interacted with the politeness due to his station – but only just, and always with an iciness, a haughty, contemptuous dignity that surpassed even her treatment of him when they had first become colleagues. this was the best weapon left to her: to treat severus as she treated her deepest enemies, as she had once treated umbridge – except that with umbridge, she could at least take satisfaction in intimidating umbridge, in testing her, in humiliating her where possible. with severus, there was no satisfaction, there were no games of power played. they were far beyond that. they understood each other too well for that. there was only the cold hatred, the betrayal, and the singular understanding that minerva would do everything in her power to protect her students from him.

(and, may i add, i do believe that precisely this reaction from minerva was pretty much essential to severus maintaining his cover at hogwarts. i’ll draw one last quote from the meta i linked: “if there was one person who absolutely had to believe that snape’s treachery was genuine, it was minerva mcgonagall. because she was the person at hogwarts who would oppose him most openly. because righteous anger like hers can’t be faked. if minerva seemed in any way like she trusted snape, or doubted his motives, his cover would come under suspicion. she had to oppose him, and she had to do it genuinely, and she had to protect her students with everything she had. and for that, dumbledore’s death had to come as a shock and a betrayal.” and so it did.)

#lamentedhope #; owl post ( answered. ) #; that explains a great deal ( headcanons. ) #long post // #THIS GOT SO LONGGGG #but since i've referenced her relationship with severus a lot but never actually gone into a lot of detail in one place about it #i figured now was the time !! #anyway #do u ever think about how harry's first impression of minerva as somebody u wouldn't want to cross #is really one of the most accurate fucking statements in the entire series #if u are friends with minerva mcgonagall and u fuck her over #i pity you #bc she is COLD and she is RUTHLESS in her disdain #and it must have been all the worse for severus having been on her good side for quite a while #only to endure that switch #i cannot overstate how much she loathes misplaced trust

[voltronseatbelts]

this essay doesn’t have a proper intro bc it’s actually just a bunch of brainstorming while writing on 750words dot com but it’s basically about how voltron treats romance and relationships in the show and how certain fans are treated outside of the show, specifically the teenage demographic. just voltron fan culture in general. 

can't believe that voltron ended after six seasons! this is so sad. alexa play the form voltron sequence.

i don't know what to type since i should write like an actual 750 words but i only have like thirty minutes to do so and uuuh i'm not sure what to write. i'm not sure if i want to write prose after watching voltron season seven lmao. wow can't believe i finally watched voltron season seven and keith is straight.

actually that's definitely not the only thing i took from season seven, but it's the one i'm thinking about right now because uh i fucking predicted keith an axca?? uh paralelles???? that's not how u spell that. it's comedic. what i'm saying is i predicted keith and axca and even so they have barely any chemistry and season 7 episode whatever the fuck is like the first time they even had a conversation. what i'm saying is that i'm kind of floored that the romance truly is kind of half-assed in this show.

and i get it! i get it! this is definitely a show about war and it's impact. it's less about individual characters and their romantic relationships (especially that) and more about whatever the fuck atlas and their thick thighs are. u know? i understand that constructing meaningful relationships is kind of thrown to the wayside and not as important as like everything else. and to some extent i agree like romantic relationships aren't everything, and they're definitely not the first thing i think of when i'm constructing my own stories. from an original creator point of view, i understand it. in clearer waters, it's not about the romance as much as it is about power structures, pollution, and whatever else is important. but from a fan point of view (and like also kind of an original creator point of view?) the romantic relationships leave me unfulfilled. i'm wanting. and that's not necessarily a good thing, bc i'm NOT wanting lance and allura and axca and keith, because neither of them are... how do u say.... that well written.

what was i talking about today? in a show about war, about mecha, about something that feels so disconnected from my life (because space u know), romantic relationships in a western culture are a point of connection for the audience, especially an audience composed of teenagers. maybe the creators of VLD didn't expect teenagers (specifically teenage girls, a lot of them part of the LGBT+ community, but i can't be sure without official statistics. my perspective as one of them probably skews the demographic in my eyes). a story about romance isn't one they wanted to tell -- i can see it clearly by how they handle the romances. u know, throwing them in in the last few seasons as just a little bit of an afterthought. with an audience like teenage girls, who are definitely a touch stone for the values of western culture (being the dominant target for a western show like VLD), romantic relationships and general relationships are going to be an important point of interest. space and war is cool and interesting, but the different types of relationships -- familial, romantic, platonic -- are the real stars of the show in my eyes, and in the eyes of a demographic like teenage girls, for whom romance and relationships dominate. it's in high school culture, pop culture, and media and entertainment. whether that's nature or nurture is not the argument right now (altho if i may, i think it's nurture); the point is that that's the CULTURE. and that's why fans of VLD are in such an uproar over relationships and friendships that in many ways aren't satisfying or in character. because while the show is about war, ultimately what's important to a very vocal part of the fan base is the relationships between characters.

another point i can make about that is that in the beginning of the show, seasons 1-3, that WAS important to the show, too. the enormous cast wasn't built up yet, so there was plenty of time to fill, and that time was filled by constructing those meaningful relationships. when the cast grew, the bigger purpose of the show was emphasized -- whether because war was what the show was about all along or whether the cast became too big to focus on individual characters for longer than 1.5 seconds, i don't know. what i mean is that as the show progresses, relationships become less meaningful and the war message more meaningful, and the shift is jarring enough to be noticed. so, uh, i noticed. a lot.

another thing to touch on... is the response of the crew, cast, and others to the uproar over characters and relationships. lol. obviously, again, teenagers (again mostly girls and a lot of the time LGBT+) are an extremely vocal part of the fan base because of our easy use of the internet and its online communities and our social natures. and we've already established that for this demographic characters and relationships are important --  because they're a reflection of the tumultuous time in a teenager's romantic and social life, because they're touchstones of connection in a show that discusses pretty alien subjects. when the crew and cast and others respond in kind with dismay and defense, i think they kind of lose that connection to the fan base. it's a little ridiculous, and i've seen it all before. time and time again, teenage girls are dismissed as a demographic; wanted for their revenue, but ignored in the true nature of their complexity and ability to i dunno function in society.

the writer's room of voltron is all men, all a little older. lauren montgomery is the only woman. it's safe to say that the crew of voltron are a little out of touch with the demographic of teenage girls. actually, fucking everyone is. i've written a goddamn expos about this in my speech and debate club! here, let me find a part of it. i'm gonna quote myself from senior year of high school, bc this is a subject i've thought about a LOT. this expos as a whole is about the psychology and impacts of fans -- this section comparing football fans and one direction fans.

"Well, despite the stark similarities, fan groups are given intense stereotypes and tend to be treated disparately, mostly based on two factors, gender and age. Let’s not beat around the bush here: the factor is sexism.  Jackie Stacey, the author of Star Gazing: Hollywood Cinema and Female Spectatorship, analyzes the beginnings of movie fan culture in the 1910’s, depicting fans as an archetype of a “hysterical, starstruck teenage girl”, an image that has actually been around since Ancient Egypt all the way to Freud. Since then, the stereotype has perpetrated through all of pop culture. Think about it, when I began this speech, my mention of One Direction and Harry Styles’ hair style created an immediate emotion of disdain. Football fans have stereotypes too: supportive, confident, and loyal, according to the many NFL fan websites and their commentators. As teen girls, a marginalized group and stereotype, the things we often love - boy bands, pop stars, reality TV - are perceived as less important, and we are looked at as more crazy and obsessive than our equally obsessive football loving men counterparts. It’s the teen girl epidemic: though we are a cornerstone of modern media and economics, our fanaticism is more consistently deprecated than others. But who are we kidding? We both love watching cute men run around in tight pants."

sorry that's a long quote, but i think it's important! and i think it applies here! our interests are perceived as less important, and when our interests coincide with the interests of OTHER more important demographics -- 5-8 y.o. children, 30 y.o. men who watched DOTU – our perspectives are viewed as less important. Hysterical. And our means of communication, e.g. social media like tumblr, and methods of communication, e.g. scream-typing and general teenage culture, don’t do anything to legitimize the teenage girl perspective in the eyes of the creators.

it's probably maybe kind of not this deep. JDS and LM and crew wanted to write a story about war and mecha; they didn't know that their story would resonate so much with the teenage girl demographic, and they didn't know how to deal with that when it came time for their show to turn to it's true purpose and the teenage girls were like "hey wait a minute what about the magic of friendship?" and because we all know how teenage girls are treated, we all know the outcome of this... we can see it in the negative responses to season seven and fucking kacxa, which sounds like my cat barfing in the next room. i kid, but i don't.

anyway, i don't know how to conclude this and i'm so tired because i watched season seven 1.5 times today as well as the pilot, the conjuring, and 28 minutes of boss baby. what i'm saying is that relationships aren't the point of the show and that's cool, but keith and axca literally had like one conversation and now she's in love with his flippy hair, and my first reaction was "not this straight shit again". ah, max, u never learn. it's always the straight shit.

i'm negating my own points by not drawing them into a proper conclusion but i think u can extrapolate what i'm saying. also, when atlas's legs split into two i cried for five minutes. why doesn't atlas have feet. why are mecha so ugly. why doesn't anyone hug lance. He’s been sad since season 4 and it hasn’t been resolved yet. Someone should hug lance.

Oh my fucking god I HAVEN’T EVEN TALKED ABOUT ADAM AND SHIRO. WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT? I can’t even think about that right now i’m so mad and everyone else has already talked about that so just trust me adam and shiro are a part of this conversation too. Bc guess what LGBT+ fans are another marginalized demographic wanted for revenue and not perspective! Lol.

#voltron #voltron season seven #vld spoilers #vld s7 #vld s7 spoilers #idk what to tag #it's about 1.7k but read it trust me

[rutalonidir-a-blog]

SATINE’S VIEWS ON THE JEDI, THE COUNCIL & THE WHOLE DOCTRINE.              keep in mind that most of those things are gonna be negative and that i am tipsy, but here we go anyway.

                    so, a while ago, i was talking to kylie about my sith!satine verse and marvelling on the fact that i straight up went from pure precious flower to the serpent under’t, but then came to the conclusion that  .  .  .  satine doesn’t really see eye-to-eye with the whole ideology and if she was force sensitive and had a choice, she would opt to not be part of the order  (  there are ideas which are similar to what she stands for, but then there are some things which would wake conflicting feelings within her.  )

                          but before that, let’s look at the jedi order through the eyes of the people in the galaxy. many people did not actually see the jedi as something good, often times regarding them with disdain. let’s take a look at this segment from  Star Wars: The Ultimate Visual Guide, where the jedi were literally considered BABY SNATCHERS because, due to the fact that taking in a child past infancy was somehow linked to the dark side, they had to start their training when the younglings were only babies. and yeah, many people were like ‘yo it’s cool to give my child up to the jedi, they’re rad and will raise them well even though the kid will not remember us : )’, but others simply refused because of the aforementioned affectionate nickname.   then there’s the fact that mandalore was not  .  .  .  on friendly terms with the jedi. there were wars between the two entities and through all history, only ONE mandalorian ever got accepted in the order, namelyTARRE VIZSLA.    (  yeah probably the descendant of that one asshole who was the leader of death watch but ah well  )  and conflicts leave scars.   it’s natural to vilanize the people you fight against, because propaganda sells and is needed in order to move masses of people and,  more often than not,  the propaganda gets so ingrained in the people’s minds, they unconsciously carry it for generations, through stories and such. even though mandalore was probably in the wrong here, given its violent & blood drenched past, the subjectivity of people can be a powerful weapon, especially on a galactic scale.

                and those stories satine heard as a child, until OBI-WAN AND QUI-GON CHANGED HER OPINION ON THE JEDI. suddenly, they were kind and soft, not calloused child kidnappers,  not fearsome warriors with swords of light that would cut through everything and anything.  and above all else, they were people.    but even so, there are aspects of their way of life she could not understand, refused to understand  -------  now, get me, satine is PASSIONATE about everything she does and stands for. the battles she fights are based on wits and heart and her heart is the one thing that matters the most  ;  she loves to love. she loves to feel for her people, for mandalore, because it fuels her and drives her forwards. she is, inherently, a very EMPATHETIC person. it makes her who she is. 

                anyway, obi and qui leave & by doing so, they kinda leave her to her own devices, her own struggle to rebuild a world destroyed by war and while  .  .  .  .  she does not really resent them for leaving, because she gets it, really, they’re busy people and obi needs to go because she loves him but he would grow to resent her taking that life from him,  there is a part of herself that kinda feels abandoned.  then there’s all that gossip about jedi being able to do mind tricks and how they probably used her for something and welp suddenly she has korkie to take care of  (  korkie who may or may not be her offspring but  ---  )  so the awe and admiration she has for the jedi kinda wanes.   then they go and fight in a war and she just  ---------  nopes because they advocate peace while fighting wars and their signature object is a literal sword that can cut through people  ???  and she ain’t about that life.

                    now, satine doesn’t HATE the jedi insomuch as she  .  .  .  doesn’t appreciate the way they operate.  she dislikes the fact that they work in absolutes   (  because if you don’t do exactly as the jedi do  .  .  .  you MUST be a sith  )  no matter how much they vehemently disagree with this,  dislikes their utter disregard to the lives of the clones, which they don’t even pay or anything. but that’s the war.  what about before  ------ what if the war never was  ??        well, it’s kinda the same.  you see, they have an extensive history of wars they have fought within and it’s obvious that she despises violence, but there’s also the fact that they manipulate the will of others, even though those others are considered lesser beings.  satine is the type of gall to advocate equality no matter the species, because she regards any sentient  (  and non-sentient, for the matter  )  being as being unique and important in the galaxy,  thus, believing yourself above someone else is a huge no no in her book.    that, and she trusts the council little. their way of operating, decision-making process and, subsequently, their dependency on the senate doesn’t sit well with her  (  let’s not talk about obi-wan’s faked death bc that deserves a drunk ranting post for itself  ---- and while we’re between parenthesis, who even put yoda in charge, i mean  .  .  .  really  ??  )

                       tldr  :  satine does not really like the jedi.  their ideologies clash with hers  &&  she cares little for (  what she  ) the assumed hypocrisy that comes with wielding lightsabers whilst preaching peace. 

#long post for ts #❝ | SHE HAS SEEN TOO MUCH WAR & SUFFERING → ( headcanons ) #icb i wrote 1k words on this subject #listen #she's literally the 'love the jedi but hate the order' text post #anyway yeah here we go im tipsy and sleepy but ily all

[kcrbyn-blog]

hiya babies ! my name is emma, i’m 19, i’m from the est timezone, and if kesha doesn’t stop all this releasing new music without any kind of warning business, i’m going to have a heart attack. this is my lovechild, korbyn el-amin — works at musicology by day, is the lead singer/guitarist of saturdaze whenever she’s not working (occasionally at night). i have been itching to plot with all of you and your beautiful muses already, so pretty please swing through my ims or just like this post for me to magically appear in yours! prepare for rambles beneath the cut.

so, a little info on k:

ever since she could remember, it’s always just been her and her father; the backstory on her mother has always been hazy since she could never get much out of her dad about her, other than that she was no longer in the picture. korbyn knows she’s alive and that is as far as her knowledge goes, she’s not looking to expand it any time soon, either. she’s content with it just being her and her dad — they got along well, settled into a nice little routine that worked well for them, all that jazz 

she’s always been incredibly independent mostly because she’s used to being alone and it’s never really bothered her?? her dad worked his ass off when she was a kid, working for an internet marketing company that demanded he travel quite a bit, so while it’s just the two of them, once work called it dwindled down to just korbyn. she never was one to follow a crowd or try to fit in, she did her own thing and didn’t really give a fuck who liked/approved of it or not?

was also totally the new kid, she didn’t move into newcastle until she was thirteen after her dad quit his marketing job because he was tired of constantly traveling and this didn’t faze her any; she didn’t necessarily enjoy the sleepy atmosphere of newcastle but she wasn’t packing her bags and running back to upstate new york, either

probably came off as rather terrifying/broody but she’s not, really?? like...she’s actually pretty outgoing and charming but she doesn’t take fucking shit, and isn’t about to go chasing after something she’s not really all that interested in anyways

music was the first real, true love of her life; her dad was a huge classic rock junkie and brought her up on it, and the older she got the more and more obsessed with the concept of music just in general?? she listens to just about any genre ( her least favorite is country ) and she started growing quite the vinyl collection after her dad got her a record player for her twelfth birthday. korbyn loves to take apart music and analyze it, from the instrumentals to the lyrics to the production value, all of it, it was her biggest hobby. 

when she was younger, she’d sneak into her dad’s room whenever he wasn’t home and would get his guitar out and teach herself as best she could, and he promised that when they moved, he’d set her up some real lessons (hello musicology)

the cosmogyral has always been one of my favorite labels and i haven’t put it to use in a really long time (thank god for this rp giving me the opportunity to tbh) the definition of the word cosmogyral is ‘whirling around the universe’ and that’s certainly korbyn to a t. she’s never content with stagnancy, she likes to constantly be thinking and doing and moving and striving to be all the things, essentially. korbyn’s a very strategic, take no prisoners kinda girl who acts first and asks the questions later; opinionated, pretty fiery, and often doesn’t have a filter, but she’s also a huge dreamer with a big heart that often gets shadowed by all her steel. she tends to live in her head quite a bit, which comes at its costs. the big part that i usually read into with the cosmogyral is that they are incredibly volatile, they’re easy to flip or turn in their moods and are pretty fickle. korbyn is the type of person who will change her mind a lot about something and she’ll be hella stubborn about it. she sticks to her guns, this one, even if she’s constantly changing them up 

is a highkey rebel, does whatever she wants, says whatever she wants, has probably got into quite a bit of trouble for this but doesn’t really care, she’s your girl if you’re looking to cause some trouble

has evaded the law more than she cares to admit, i’m sure, but she’s hella smart and she’s a charmer

bisexual as fuck, total softie when it comes to romance...like, expect for her to write a fucking song about u

entj, that’s her basically

perfectionist as fuck, it will either be endearing or irritating. a lot of time it dictates how she acts, and she can kinda drive herself over the edge and get so frustrated with herself she’ll just.....riot

also probably smokes a LOT because she’s great at stressing herself out

saturdaze is the fucking love of her life at the moment and the only one she needs, truthfully; she pours every little ounce of herself into the band because it’s what she’s passionate about and the music they play makes her feel so fucking good and happy and it’s not something she wants to let go any time soon

also pretty supportive of all the other bands in town?? she’ll go check them out on nights she doesn’t have practice/work/a gig/plans, girl likes good music and doesn’t care where it comes from

korbyn’s in her last few years of school and she fucking loathes her major now, it was a basic one she just decided on and never changed it and doesn’t really want to do anything with it, and school is driving her off the edge, to the point where she’s on the verge of dropping out and just playing her little local gigs w saturdaze and working the ropes at musicology forever so she doesn’t have to make a decision

this however, is not an option, because her dad is the one paying her way through school and she knows giving a big fuck you to that is a one-way ticket to a conflict she doesn’t want (after years of not having any conflict w her dad, it’s bound to arrive at some point and korbyn believes this will be it) but she just so desperately wants to be happy and live her life the way she wants to that she’s pretty much pulling herself apart at the seams, fun times!!

wanted plots !

these are all just ideas that i’d love to see for k, we obviously can flesh these out as our hearts desire or do spins on them or do something entirely different, i’m open to literally everything but these are pretty much a starting block

ride or die (1/1) — korbyn would literally do anything for this person; she probs gets into all kinds of trouble with them, but they are her Best Friend and she’d trust them with her life if it ever came down to it

awkward ex (0/1) — the two of them dated a little while ago, and the relationship lasted longer than they’d anticipated, and for whatever reason, they decided to go their separate ways. awkward bc korbyn is a fan of their band and still goes to shows when she can and therefore, they see each other quite a bit

skinny love (0/1) — at some point, korbyn realized their friendship was more than just friendship-like feelings on her end but she’ll be damned if she’s the reason she loses this person, so she tries her best to act normal around them but it probably...doesn’t work lmao

enemy she fuckin on the low (0/1) — lmao now THIS person, they get on korbyn’s last fucking nerve and she really can’t tolerate them, but one night they fell into bed together and decided y’know....angry sex really is the best, so while they’re pretty open about their disdain for one another in public, they be hooking up on the down low

sworn to secrecy (1/?) — korbyn enjoys doing stupid shit that attracts trouble, and she and i’m thinkin like maybe two or three other people?? yeah they all did something one night that was FUCKED, and they’d be fucked if anybody ever found out about it so they’re all incredibly close mostly because they share this dirty lil secret

sexual tension (0/?) — they’re all musicians, ok. there’s BOUND to be some sexual tension, whether it’s acted on or not is up to us but korbyn turns on the charm when she sees them at shows (theirs and her own, so someone from a diff band works swell for this), they probably flirt a lot in public...such fun

bad influence (0/2) — korbyn can be a lot to swallow sometimes lmao, and yet this person doesn’t really fucking care, they’re who she can go out and get into fucking trouble with and they encourage her to do shit or! korbyn’s basically corrupting your muse and is bringing them outta their shell 

good influence (0/1) — this person balances out korbyn very well, keeps her outta trouble and tones her down when she gets fired up as best they can, is essentially the little tiny angel sitting on her shoulder

i’m really open to whatever okay just throw it by me if you have a different idea, i’ll probably say yes

i have this queued to drop as soon as we open so i may be off eating dinner, but please don’t hesitate to come message me? like i said, i am dying to write korbyn and get to know you all in the process so please, love me, i beg of you. i’m so fucking excited about this roleplay, guys, i can’t wait to get started x

#「•• heroin(e) ; out of k. #ncvt:intro

[aeroknot]

some thoughts on the latest wynonna plot twist

i’ve been working on this for a little while. 

i just want to explain a large part of my resistance to the wearp development of season 2. it is very personal (perhaps tmi) and reveals a deep bias infiltrating my ability to whole-heartedly accept or celebrate the plot line. I still think it’s worth expressing, though.

ok so like… i’ve felt a range of emotions regarding this pregnancy plotline, most of them negative and just varying in the degrees of pissy pessimism i can shift between, and at first i was really self-interrogating and just being like “are you being an insufferable asshole about this because of wyndolls?” and i thought about it and y’know, probably, like, I’ll be transparent bc who the fuck else am I gonna be real with about this show other than strangers on the internet? and yeah, 10% of it’s wyndolls-related dread, sure, but honestly??

the root of it is that I don’t like kids right now, especially infants, and this intensely combines with the fact that, as a 27 year old with shared qualities with her, I was projecting onto wynonna hard. a big specific fear we shared was where I constantly wonder about whether I truly have choices in my “fate” (mostly, re: am I doomed to repeat my parents’ mistakes? and also am I doomed by my depression? a deep and real limitation that really honestly does feel like its own kind of curse. and, would I pass this onto a child and doom them?) I was ecstatic to be connecting with her and key tenants of her personality, as well as her past traumas (such as but not limited to: child abuse from an alcoholic father, being institutionalized, and acting things out sexually with guys) that I found so relatable. a smaller part, but most relevant to this discussion, is that liked to think of her as a woman who, also, at this point in her life, was wholly uninterested in motherhood, for a whole shitton of reasons; many of which I could relate to, but particularly based in her family trauma/this curse/complicated relationships with men, and also her general attitude of prioritizing her needs above everyone else’s except maybe waverly’s and her partner(s)’. working on herself. and i loved that. it resonated with me.

a baby has really thrown a wrench in this experience, and this is largely because a not-so-insignficant emotional dufflebag that’s been chained to my ankle since my ex left is all the times he told me I’d be a terrible mother, and how i’ve been processing that and moving on from letting that hold any more weight in my life completely opposes being excited about a plot development like this.

after I finally picked myself up off the floor of my shame spiral into his evaluation of me, I rebuilt myself by asking: what right did he have to evaluate my worth based on an abstract, idealized, and hypothetical version of motherhood he imagined – specifically myself as a mother, when, might I add, neither of us were even close to being stable enough even as individuals to be ready for parenthood – (answer: no real fucking right). so: would it be liberating and healing to discover that I can be a woman without procreating? could I still find my worth in myself if it never happened for me? could I erase some of that disdain for my character away by moving the goalpost and allowing myself to say: I don’t need this to be a woman worth admiring and loving-- and I could remain someone a person would desire in a long-term romantic relationship? and did I even fucking want children? was it a good idea for me to have them? I don’t completely have a definitive answer and even if I did decide I didn’t want some, maybe if I met the right partner and i decided -- regardless of what my partner wanted -- that I wanted a baby more than I was afraid of a baby, it’d change, maybe. or I’ve thought about adoption later in life. but for now, and what’s feeding into my disappointment and discomfort with wynonna’s arc, is the fact that I have been experimenting with expressing disinterest in children, publicly and privately, and testing out how that makes me feel, and lately, I’ve felt pretty damn good thinking about a childless future, and after the pain I felt with ‘being inept at motherhood’ lorded over my head as a deep insult to my character, it’s very healing and empowering for me to be able to say “I could live without kids” or “having children is perhaps not in my path” and even go so far as to admit “I don’t think I even like children right now.” 

I don’t dislike children, per se (though I do resent I even feel the pressure to have to put that as a disclaimer!!). I’m nice to them. I love my young cousins. I think children are often hilarious and inquisitive and generally good-natured. but they’re…. they’re like how men are to me right now. the idealized ones are really neat; the fictional ones and the ones over there and the ones other people really love are really cool and I’m happy they make others happy and sometimes I get to spend some time with them too, but as a general practice I’d like to just not prioritize them in my life right now, and women are asked to prioritize both all the damn time or else believe there’s something wrong with them, and I’d like to create space and consume some more media where maybe we just… don’t allow that as much? I promise I’m not going around kicking kids nor am I telling other people to kick them. but I am letting myself feel what it’s like to admit that maybe I don’t think they’re the greatest thing on earth, which is what I feel pressured to say (oh god damn, especially in my Christian work environment, dear lort). I’m experimenting with allowing myself to say to someone who invasively inquires about the status of my reproductivity, “y’know, I don’t really like the idea of being responsible for a very sensitive, innocent, impressionable, and defenseless young soul who deserves a lot of time, energy, and self-sacrifice in order to care for and raise; emotional and physical and mental labor that I don’t feel like designating to anyone but myself right now.” basically, I just don’t find them as enthralling as I used to (I once worked at a daycare and wanted to be a teacher), and I’m even questioning now how much of my enchantment back then was authentic and how much of it was indoctrinated.

and a large part of what I’m realizing is the fact I’m made deeply uncomfortable and displeased by the idea of carving out parts of my identity and my life in order to create the large, large space a child deserves in order to fit one into my story. I don’t like the permanence of adding a child; I don’t like the irrevocable nature of such a huge undertaking that will impact every single facet of a person’s life from that point forward. maybe I’m selfish. maybe I’m just not ready. call me what you want, I’m still walking this path for now, though, and I’ll assert I deserve respect even if I don’t want kids.

so to watch this story that I was feeling so connected to for reasons really opposite of this whole storyline so quickly suddenly make room for a baby while I am resisting motherhood as a measure of a woman’s worth and also very freaked out by the permanence and weight of being responsible for your offspring? yeah. it’s a little disheartening to me. like dolls said, it changes everything. and it’s like…… any way they shake the story out, I think I’ll be upset, because I’m... not personally invested in the baby even sticking around, even though I know that sounds sort of horrible.

I admire the way they’ve done it so far in the aftermath of this reveal. I admire the dialogue. and I think admiring and respecting how they’re doing it while still not liking it is valid, and is also a testament to how well-executed it can be. but I’m still hesitant, skeptical, and resistant.

and this is all hard for me too because like… I think I WOULD think it’s awesome if post-broken-curse, older, perhaps in-a-loving-relationship-wynonna and forgiven-herself wynonna kicks down a door while pregnant, and asserts she can still be a hero while pregnant, and she’s still this or still that and not an invalid fragile incompetent person at her job, etc, etc….. demon-hunting mom who pisses off the PTA moms because all their kids think she’s so cool. but it... it’s sudden. it’s “too early” in my head. and of course I understand why that is. but I’m still grumbly about it.

i’ve also realized that I was a child who was somewhat unwanted. conceived between two people with an unhealthy relationship who did not want to be tethered together for the rest of their lives. and as a child in the middle of that stress, as an unplanned baby who MY MOM GOT PREGNANT WITH WHILE ON BIRTH CONTROL, I know what the downsides are to have that origin story. with this context, it makes sense this is a big hang up for me, something I’m recoiling from. and my mother made me her impetus for change and growth and when she failed at healing herself through me, it made me feel like the failure and a waste of space and “not worth it.” (it’s similar with my dad, but fatherhood’s not really the point here.) to be entirely both the source and motivation for your mother’s (and sometimes father’s) personal healing is a lot of pressure. and it feels suffocating. to be the only reason your mother works on herself when you live with her, but then devolves when you’re not with her-- it serves up some real emotional erosion. we can’t say for certain this is what wynonna would do, but even a whiff of this makes me want to run the other direction.

I’m also upset about the issue of consent in the pregnancy. her opportunity to choose was taken from her by the time demon, and that makes me uncomfortable. she’s doing amazing now, she’s so fucking strong, but I’m still upset. it was clever, but if you really look at it, it was another way she had no choice. &... I appreciate her anger about it! i really do! that is one of the things I do really respect: I appreciate her sadness being allowed time onscreen, and Melanie’s acting is uh-mazing regarding this.

see, I have a lot of conflicting emotions about this. I’m trying to articulate it as best I can.

so then I’m even further flabbergasted by all the ways my brain is trying to cope and trying to make the story cool, trying to patch it, trying to adapt it, trying to twist it, and trying to sneak in lighter and happier moments, and trying to find optimism in things like “oh well I love Jane the Virgin and that’s baby-heavy from the get-go.” .... though therein sorta lies the fundamental difference. you knew a baby was coming from the very first episode, the baby is literally the impetus for everything, and so even though there were consent issues even in Jane the Virgin, there was no real transition from Main Plot to Suddenly A Baby Gets To Be The Center of Everything..... but.... making this comparison also helps me to maybe trust a bit more. I love Jane the Virgin (but.... even still, I’ll be honest that I’ve kind of lost interest since Mateo was born and I haven’t been keeping up as regularly as I used to. I need to stop with that, but I feel it’s another example of just how much I’ve been disinterested in kids these days.)

anyway...

i’m trying to…. well…. respond to the prospect of this fictional baby the exact opposite of how I’ve been trying to react to real babies lately. and it’s just… it’s all a perfect storm, I guess.

BUT: it’s my own personal shit. and maybe I just need to set it aside. 

and maybe, even.... this take on motherhood onscreen, seeing wynonna, who I relate to so much, be a mother... perhaps it may even heal some of the wounds I’ve felt regarding the subject since the shame was first implanted by my ex, and reinforced by my own childhood and genetics and immaturity as an “adult.”

maybe. 

we will see.

#aero talks A LOT #this is about the pregnancy plot in wynonna earp #wynonna earp #wearp discussion #wynonna earp discussion #aero opinion time #relating to media in deeply personal ways #personal bias #somewhat negative #trying to be more objective but still warning you: somewhat negative ahead #personal shit #under a read more but sorry mobile users

[zoesrhees]

hey guys!! as the trash that i am, im going to drop 99 percent of my replies and start over fresh mostly because i’ve lost focus to be completely honest however i’ve taken the time to rewrite my character descriptions and added a bit more info and i would love some connections for them all, i’ve included their houses, fcs hometowns etc etc for connection purposes, it’s all gonna be under the read more

zoe; (arden cho) sophomore, 20, pre-law, kappa gamma kappa; originally from san antonio, tx but moved to pa right before she started high-schoo, cheerleader, big dumb idiot  basically, a mash between ally mcbeal and elle woods, incidentally they are both her heroes, though she knows ally had her share of problems, she’s very much got a similar mindset. zoe does try to be a good person, she’s smart, loyal and sweet but often can be selfish, stubborn and shallow. generally nice to get along with, she’s not much trouble but isn’t afraid to stick up for herself and once she decides to stand her ground that is it. not the best at doing so of course, that person that will think of a comeback HOURS later instead. hopeless romantic who is in love w/ love, she’s a sucker for anything cute and heartfelt, really wants to have her own modern love story, but also afraid of being burned or being the only one to fall, does stupid shit literally all the time honestly, sticks her foot in her mouth a lot, doesn’t know how to react in uncomfortable situations and will literally RUN AWAY from you, just a big ole sucker, really sweet, really friendly, loves everyone even when not every loves her. serial dater, would love some exes if they only dated a few times, etc etc.

dulce; (ana de armas) junior, 21, drama major, gamma delta VP, from south beach, fl basically do you remember those my super sweet sixteen shows, that was dulce except it was a quincianera instead. she comes from a loud af cuban family and they’re from miami, her parents make bank bc her dad owns a bunch of businesses and she loves sunny weather. she’s a little bit of a brat for the most part well meaning, though can be vicious if provoked, super overdramatic, extremely extra when she wants to be, very in touch with her feelings, hispanic stereotype in so many ways, HELLO, loves her older brother to death. very very gay, very very in the closet, afraid of her brother rafael finding out and their relationship crumbling because while she wouldn’t ever tell him he’s pretty much her best friend. wants to be the next angelica schuyler on broadway, very talented. would love some secret girl hook ups in the past, like SUPER secret, she’s slowly starting to be more comfortable in her own skin and taking baby steps out of the closet.

hunter; (lyndsy fonseca) 23, junior, sociology major, omega alpha chi, from Savannah, GA & California in her teens, field hockey co-cap, she’s just a lil slice of gay apple pie honestly. grew up in the south when she was younger, lived in california for a few years and fell in love with her next door neighbor before her parents ripped her away, her family basically disowned her and she was ready to run away at sixteen when her brother offered to go with her, they were pretty much homeless for two years and did a lot of semi shady shit, she got her ged, went to community college and worked her ASS OFF to get where she is now, had a lot of disdain for her mom and dad who were very conservative and very ashamed and she turned into a very sour girl. hateful and disrespectful towards her family she is definitely not over how they hurt her. extremely defensive over her big brother, heinous but fiercely loyal, don’t fuck with the people she cares about or she will come after you until you never want to see her face again and regret your decisions, extremely persistent, extreme asshole, not afraid to drag anyone she likes to use men for money, a lot. secretly misses her parents and wishes they loved her, not coping with the idea that they dont.

bruno;(jarod joseph) 21, junior, graphic design major, psi delta social chair. originally from australia but lived in new york part of the time, too bruno is literally everyone’s friend. there’s no making an enemy out of this guy, he’s genuine, sincere and really fucking nice. also really high ALL the time, likes to draw and paint, really into grafitti like wants to be the next bansky and shit. when he was young his parents died and he was adopted by his godparents aka luna and rocky’s parents and he grew up with them extremely protective of both of them, luna is LITERALLY HIS rock like he would be lost without her and he loves rocky more than air like its the BROMANCE to end all bromances. it’s hard to see him in a low mood. very sensitive, really in touch with his feelings and shit, will literally give you the shirt off his back, super passionate about mashed potatoes honestly. if you’re a nice person, bruno is your friend and if you’re not a nice person he’s going to try anyway

ruby;(marie avgeropoulos) 20, sophomore, marine biology major, kappa gamma kappa, gymnastics team co-cap, originally from australia actually the nicest person you will ever meet, puts everyone’s needs before her own and is extremely worrisome, self-blaming and self-deprecating. tries hard to be happy for everyone she knows and loves because she knows they’re not all. obsessive over every little thing and vehemently wants people to like her, loves with her whole heart no matter who it is, big science dork, very into gymnastics, doesn’t drink much, doesn’t do drugs and just really pure, has a shaky family past but her siblings are her world, afraid of anything happening to them, literally terrified of losing her big brother because they’re so close, passionate, open, honest and genuine, tries to push away the fact that her past has turned her into a sad bean and puts on a smile for everyone.

true; (ricky whittle) 25, senior, pre-med major,epsilon kappa tau vp, spent a lot of his time in paris before going to college, he chose to defer his first year but after a bad motorcycle accident he ended up starting very late anyway grumpy old man that would be walter mathau to shame. lived in paris for a few years where he met the LOVE of his life holy shit, after she left he got into a pretty bad motorcycle accident that fucked with his leg so now he walks with a cane and takes a lot of pain pills.  cynical as all hell, rarely smiles, mean to everyone except for his sister, probably still has a vcr and a member’s only jacket because he is SO behind the times. studying to be a doctor, only rushed greek because of his parents and his little sister hope, his older sisters are extremely driven and successful and he feels the need to be too, hard living in their shadow their parents impress so many values on them. has been less miserable nowadays but still just has a permanent raincloud over his head. think dr. house meets munch from svu honestly.

bellamy; (caitlin stasey) 20, junior, astrophysics major, tau alpha zeta pres, softball team, from new iberia, la, your basic human trash can, she’s a slob, crass and hardly cares what anyone thinks of her both personally and physically, thinks she’s hilarious as hell but is really just super lame and stupid as hell, meme queen, really gross, makes a lot of stupid rash decisions “for the vine” even though vine is dead now, fierce friend, HUGE know it all, she might act stupid as all hell but she’s actually brilliant and is that sort of asshole that will not hesitate to correct you, space gay, loves looking at stars and definitely thinks aliens are real, really close to her big brothers and her cousins, has had a her heart broken a time or two but is really good at pretending everything is okay because that’s just what she does, laughs everything off. fiercely loyal friend, hoping to be sponsored in life by taco bell one day.

#nyuooc #nyuplots