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nerd-at-sea5 · 1 year

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'i spent my teen in rage, spiralin' in silence' (ao3 link)

title from 'seventeen going under' by sam fender - pt 2 here, pt 3 here

van and nat grow up together, they know one another better than anyone else on the team bar maybe jackie and shauna. however as they grow up, new situations and feeling arise. they don’t want to leave each other, in fact maybe they’re terrified to do so, this isn’t a healing friendships fic. this is how even when everything is set up for them to fall apart, the strings of love that have tied them together since childhood become in unbreakable.

a myriad of snippets showing how once they bonded, there way no way they would let go. contains; shitty dads, a lot of lesbianism, natalie decks someone (twice) (van gets a good hit in as well), coach ben contemplating why he became a coach in the first place, van dosent know how to stop laughing during serious situations, tai is super confused a lot of the time, and laura lee might be the most mentally stable out of all of them (lottie has stopped disagreeing due to recent events)

van uses they/them bc i do and i say so >:) (she/they nat that may become they/them nat in later fics but who knows)

cw - drinking/drugs, suicide ideation/attempt, self harm, guns, slurs, descriptions of gore, dead body(ies), attempted sexual assault

wilderness scenes takes place somewhere in the middle of s1e7 and s1e10 (laura lee is alive i love her) pov switching more than....i can't come up with a pun here, lots of pov swaps, also. nat's jewish <3 (to me) and that shows up here, don't like it-don't read it.

they're 4 years old when they meet. just about the age where they can sit on the couch and draw while their moms get high outside (that's the real reason natalie's over, if they're being honest).

her mother knocks on the door, and a small redhead peaks out from behind their mother's legs, a small hand with an even smaller wave, but natalie scatorccio is nothing if not energetic, eager to make the friends she’s never had in preschool, "hi! i'm natalie!" she practically runs into the house, not hearing their mother's sigh, the "she's always like this, little spaztic." (after all, they've been hearing it every other day) and the redhead breaks into a grin, missing tooth from running into the doorframe on display, "nat-lee?" "that's what my daddy calls me, natty! you can do it too, i don't mind!" "i'm vanessa." their smile wavers, and natalie scrunches her face up, "can i call you van?"

and when van's face splits into a massive smile, they nod, grabbing the other's hand and racing into their room to show off their cars.

---------

they're 8 years old when van's grandpa dies. nat dosen't fully get what it means-funerals, she knows death-but she knows that van came to school with teary eyes and said that they want her to be there.

that week in sunday school, they learn the mourners kaddish (natalie finds it painfully situational).

she has to walk herself to van's house because her dad is drunk and yelling at their mom when they sneak out the front door, dressed in an old faded black t-shirt and black jeans that they hoped would be appropriate.

when they get to the palmer's house, the door is open, and there's way too many people for natalie to be comfortable with, so she shakes out her hands to get rid of the weird feeling, and runs up to van's room as fast as she can.

"van?" they're sitting on their bed, tears slipping down their face, a black lump of fabric laying on their bed. "why aren't you dressed?"

"my...my mom said i hafta-" they cough, "to wear a dress. i don’t wanna. i don’t-i dunno why, i just don’t.”

nat considers this, thinking long and hard for an eight year old, and then firmly decides that-"that's stupid. here, take my clothes, we can swap." and proceeds to pull off their shirt and pants, handing it to van, who's teary face manages a smile, "thanks natty." the two pause, holding each others clothes, before van laughs, a missing tooth grin "i like your clothes."

natalie grins back, pulling the dress over their head, "i don't like this very much, it's scratchy. i can't run." she pauses, shivers at the texture, nerves crossing over van's face, "i can suck it up. just for you."

the hug van wraps her in is worth an uncomfortable dress, "i love you." "i love you too, van."

---------

van is 12 years old when they decide to join soccer.

and since they know nat needs a reason to leave the house, they manage to convince her to join.

"i am seriously going to punch you if you make me do this."

"you'd punch me no matter what, c'mon natty, it'll be fun!"

even with the complaints, van still watches while nat-normally doing a hundred things at once-is completely focused on a single task.

they find themselves face to face with a taller girl, her curly black hair pulled back as she sprints forward, tapping the ball back and forth as she lines up a shot on goal, twenty feet away, then fifteen, then ten, then-

she kicks, and van throws their small body harder than ever before, slamming their hand into the ball and curling inward onto themself, landing on the grass with a thud.

they pop up, grinning like a madman, while nat jumps up and down, dark hair falling in her eyes as she cheers, van matches, colliding with her.

the curly haired girl sticks out a hand, "taissa turner, that was a good save."

van's to busy wondering why their mouth stopped working as they spit out, "i'm vanes-van. van palmer, thanks." to notice nat's face has dropped, fear coating her eyes as van clasps taissa's hand, smiling.

"nice to meet you," it's practiced, van notes-the way taissa turns to nat and extends the same hand, nat's bad at keeping friends, good at making them. "natalie scatorccio." the kindness in their voice is forced only to van.

van snorts as taissa's eyes widen-nat always manages to throw people off by introducing herself as 'natalie'. (something about how it sounds fancier than she is, or at least that what jackie jokes).

they elbow her, "they go by nat, she's just a dick. natty, stop being a dick." and taissa's face molds back into the smile, giggling-only van can hear nat's "never, i'm a dick expert." van's heart jumping to their throat before they pinch her. (nat seems to warm up to taissa as the days go on)

---------

nat's 14 when she gets high for the first time.

jackie taylor was having a team party, and in a moment of pure insanity, nat stole her dad's weed.

they pulled van aside a little after everyone was settled, "i might have fucked up."

"is this a 'van i need you to cover for me while i put something i stole back' or a 'van i need you to hide a body' kind of 'i fucked up'?"

nat laughs, "no, dumbass, i stole my dad's pot." van's face drops, "no fucking way."

but she pulls it out, a few joints already made that hopefully won't end that badly for her, and all it takes is a glance back at the rest of the team before the two are running out to jackie's tire swing (the one shauna shipman broke her arm on last year). and she's grabbing the lighter from her pocket.

being high is funny. everything seems a little weirder, but nat kind of likes it, it makes them feel calm-their brain constantly racing through everything, but this...natalie can hear their own thoughts for the first time in, well, ever.

she's not sure she likes it, she dosen't like a lot of things, their dad, most classes at school....natalie isn't sure she even likes most people.

van's the exception. van's always been there. van'll always be there.

they knock into van's shoulder, who's been staring at the windows for the past twenty minutes.

"dude, you good?"

"i-uh." van's voice is lodged in their throat, and natalie blinks a few times before turning over, a silent "are you ok?" written on her face.

"natty...nat. nat, i like girls."

nat blinks again, "who doesn't?"

"no-nat." and she doesn't get it, doesn't everyone like girls? like the way their smiles are always so much softer than boys? like the way on the rare occasion she lets them, they hold her so much lighter? "i like girls how you like boys."

"i don't like boys." "natalie!"

she's pissed off now, "vanessa!" and they almost fall as they clamor off the tire swing, "you fucking idiot-i'm telling you i want to kiss girls, not that i don't think boys are fun to hangout with!" van is practically tearing up, and with a start, natalie realizes exactly what they were trying to do, "oh. oh shit-"

van lets out a shaky breath, and nat's brain starts racing again, overcoming the haze from the weed.

"that's not...that's not something everyone wants?" her own voice sounds much to small in her head, muted, like she’s speaking from behind glass, and even smaller when van shakes their head.

"no. it's not."

she swallows hard, "then i guess that makes two of us."

---------

when van is 15 years old, they see a dead body for the first time.

after weeks of hyping themself up, and nat teasing them in class, they managed to get their shit together enough to ask taissa if she'd like to see a movie together (as friends. duh.)

it ends up being beetlejuice, back in theaters for some reason or another, not that van cares-nat showed up at their house earlier-walking back to her house with kevyn tan, and handed van 20$ with a shady grin that van just knows means she did not get this safely or intelligently. (nat also threw a condom at them. van threw a book in return.)

and taissa said yes, but she's choosing the movie. van could care less what they saw.

so they paied for popcorn and soda and candy, feeling all floaty-like whenever they get high with nat. granted, van didn't like being high that much, it was a once every other month kind of thing for them.

the theater is dark, and van's only half paying attention to the movie-taissa keeps jolting on all the cheep jump scares, eventually she hands van the popcorn, pushing their hair back to whisper in their ear-ignoring or just not seeing how van's entire body stilled-"please keep this i think i'll tip it over."

when not five minutes later taissa grabs van's hand, and van is silently thanking whatever god there is that this theater is dark because oh my actual fucking god.

on their way out they tease her for it, "really, the silly demon?" "shut up, he's kind of scary!" "no, tai. he's really not-" and if tai's blushing even a little...van's smiling harder than they ever thought possible.

that's when the sirens go off, the ambulance speeding down the street, past the houses and down the road to....

"fuck."

taissa looks confused, van can feel panic invading their bones, their brain jumping to the worst conclusion-it's not her. a bunch of people live there. the trailer park always has the cops there for one reason or another.

she's fine, she's fine-kevyn tan is outside the liquor store breathing like he's just run a mile, terror coating his face.

"fuck, fuck-taissa-i'm so sorry, i have to go, here-" they hand her the rest of the candy and another apology before springing as fast as they can after the ambulance, leaving taisssa confused and heartsick outside the theater.

van's heart nearly falls to their feet when they see a black tarp covering....someone. the grass is stained red when they get there, and a cop flings his arm out before van can run up the stairs.

"get off me!"

"hey, hey kid calm down-"

van wriggles until he lets go, and there's tears pouring down their face as they stare around wildly, "who-who is it? tell me, please!"

his face calms a little, "shane."

they collapse on the floor, sick relief flooding-she's ok. thank god they're ok. "where-where's nat. natalie, where is she?"

they can feel an arm pulling them up, "c'mere kiddo.”and he walks them to one of the cop cars.

van can see vera, tears steaming down her face and red on her hands, waving madly at the cops, van caught the words 'unexpected', 'spaz' and 'insane'. another cop standing next to a dark haired girl, silently staring at the black tarp with wide, shell-shocked eyes.

"NAT!" van stops themself before crashing into her, nat's touch reservations still holding prominent, before the taller collapses into van, sobbing uncontrollably into their shoulder.

the two sink to the floor, van holding onto their friend as tight as they could ever, they watch as the body is lifted to the ambulance, they don't turn away in time as the deputy or whoever the hell he is lifts the tarp and whistles.

van's eyes catch, shane's eye and half his fucking head gone, blown off, blood still dripping, flecks of brain matter. they swallow down the popcorn and fanta that threatens to arise, whispering into nat's hair, "what the fuck happened....?"

---------

nat is 16 when she starts to slip away from the person van's known basically their entire life.

they're still there when van calls them at 3am because they're shaking so hard they can't move, or when they come to school with scrapes on their face from the bottle their mom threw the night before, she still patches them up in the locker room with soft hands and a brightly colored band aid.

natalie's always there, but it's becoming less and less.....natalie.

they get into a fight, their first real one in possibly ever, and when nat goes home she nearly puts her fist through the wall because of it. it wasn't even a real fight, it was pathetic.

it's been six months-six months of ignoring the increased whispers in the halls, six months of passing her classes only because the teachers feel bad, six months of kevyn and charlie treating her like she's glass.

six months of working themself so hard at soccer that when nat gets home she doesn't even have the energy to think.

it's better than the other alternatives she's tried. the ones that leave white lines on pale skin, and make showering sting.

they liked the blonde. it changed during the first month, van helped-neither of them could smell for a week after, but she liked it. it felt safer than the others, but still stung for a little bit when it was setting.

they win their first game of the season, natalie's pass to taissa passing smoothly through the other team members legs, taissa sprinting up and tapping it to lottie who sends the ball sailing over the goalie's head and into the corner of the net.

they cheer their way back into the locker room, and a warm sense of pride spreads through nat's chest for the first time in six months.

they're so happy that everything that's been pressing down feels like it's taken a break, left her mind, let them forget. it's floating away like a balloon, up up.....gone.

lottie mathews is holding onto their shoulders and shaking them as someone slams a tape into the player, and music starts blasting and natalie's grinning harder than she knew they could, blushing unnatrually hard at the attention from the tall girl (lottie’s always loved dancing with natalie, why does it feels so weird this time?)

van's arm is looping around their shoulders, nat's hands hooking around their waist.

they feel like a kid. like when they'd climb as high as she could in the trees and it felt like no one would ever be as high, that the world was wherever she could see-nothing else mattered.

"we fuckin' did it natty, we fuckin' did it!!"

and everything comes crashing, slamming back onto her. pinning their lungs and holding them underwater, dousing the flame with gallons of water with every click of the lighter.

images flick through her head like a screwed up slide show and all natalie can see is her dad's body, her mother's hands and dress slowly overtaken.

she can't see anything else. she can smell the metallic tang and hear the ringing in their ears.

before they know what she's doing, van is pressed against a locker, natalie's hands holding down their wrists, misty's slammed a hand on the 'pause' button, laura lee's jaw wide open. shauna let’s out a soft ‘woah-’ and taissa freezes.

natalie's breathing hard, fighting to keep van's face in front of her, the echo is getting louder with each heartbeat.

"don't. call me that." they manage to force out, sounding much harder than they had wanted, it sounds mean, cold. maybe that's better.

"ever again."

and as they turn away, van's hands connecting with their back in a soft shove, not hard enough to do any damage, some hidden creature inside natalie's chest explodes out.

"what the fuck is your problem, nat?!"

"you!" she spins, stalking up to van, who's face contorts from confusion to defense, "you and that stupid fucking nickname! alright? so just shut the hell up about it!"

they stalk out of the locker room, not missing lottie's worried face or jackie's mutter of "jesus fuck, that girl's a spaz."

eventually they managed to not hit any walls, and insted found the boys at one of the football guy's houses, not that nat really enjoyed football boys, but it's free alcohol and a chance to forget everything she said, everything they didn't mean.

sitting on a windowsill with a shitty bottle of beer, their mind replaying every moment of it, the guilt coming back over and over.

she didn't know why she snapped, but they knew they had to say sorry, say sorry and fix this, somehow. van would get it, they always got it. nat rarely got mad at them, but they were always mad at someone. van was always mad at their mom. nat got it.

"hey, hey."

nat looked up, a boy in a letterman jacket with an annoyingly bright grin that made him look like the hot boy in every teen romcom movie that laura lee picked whenever it was her choice at movie night had his hand on top of the window, beer in hand. he was grinning directly down at her.

something about him made nat want to gag. it was probably his face. something else about him made nat want to run out of her own skin. also probably his face.

she nods in his direction before going back to staring out the window.

"what're you doing here all alone?"

"does it matter?"

he grinned again, and nat's hand instinctively went to her pocket, intending to close around the swiss army knife.

insted, the boys hand shot out and held her wrist in place, inches away from the knife.

"let go."

he leaned down, she could smell the beer on his breathe, could feel her own speeding up. she still had one arm.

"not until you give me a kiss."

"what the fuck, man? i don't even know you."

natalie twisted, intending to land a knee in his groin, but insted her back slammed painfully into the wall, and his entire body pressed against hers.

"i said let go, fucker!"

he laughed, and that thing that had exploded only hours before formed again, reared it's head up again-pulling out their free wrist from their back, and as the boy leaned impossibly closer, slammed into the side of his cheek.

"CRAZY FUCKING BITCH!" it came out with flecks of spit and blood, but she only pulled back again and struck him in the same place, the creature screaming in pride, again, again, again, again-

"NATALIE!"

the creature vanished, crawling back, away, hiding again inside of nat, the boy did the same, crawling to his feet and running into a new room, adjusting his pants as he did so.

nat turned, heart leaping into her throat as she saw lottie staring daggers in the direction of the boy, and then turning to give a soft smile at nat, "are you alright?"

"i-uh. mhm."

lottie gave her a funny look, and natalie had the strange feeling that her entire body was being x-rayed, lottie scanning through to see everything, read their entire person.

"you're bleeding."

she was right, nat's knuckles had split, it was barley anything, but lottie still took them by the hand and lead them into the bathroom.

"what happened?"

some part of natalie couldn't even attempt to lie to her. by the end of the story, however-lottie looked relived, "at least you're ok." she smiled, and natalie blinked.

"fuck."

lottie's smile wavered, "what?"

"nothing. why are you here?"

the taller girl shrugged, "van wanted to come but tai was busy so now i'm here."

natalie winced, weather from surprise or the soap and water lottie was gently rubbing over their knuckles, she didn't know.

"van's here?"

lottie nodded, "mhm. i can get them if you want, i think they'd like to talk to you."

nat blinked, trying to keep a straight face as her mind ran through outcome after outcome after outcome. what if van hated them? what if they never wanted to talk again?

"yeah. alright, whatever."

the other smiled, "i'm glad." and then bent down to kiss natalie's knuckles.

natalie froze, a weird sensation flooding through their entire body, landing in their chest and spreading out to her cheeks and hands, heating up her face, "it's what i always see them do in movies whenever someone's hurt." lottie pauses, considers, "the romance ones at least. i figured it couldn't hurt."

nat nodded slowly, "mhm." as lottie left with a smile, off to find van. nat slowly stood up and glances at her reflection in the mirror, her entire face was pink, "what the fuck?"

the door opens again, and van trips in backward, "lottie what the actual fu-nat?"

the door clicks shut, and the mask that nat's had up for months gets torn down in a second.

"i'm so sorry-i shouldn't have shoved you or sworn at you or-"

it all comes flooding out, and in the middle of it, natalie's hit with the realization; the only person she's ever apologized to, genuinely at least-screaming cries of 'i'm sorry' don't really count when it's aimed at natalie's parents-is van.

"nat!" she stops, as van's all too familiar smile swims back into place, "you're still going through a lot of shit. i know you don't want to admit it, or anything really, but you're a kid." natalie scoffs, and van gives her a look, "and i keep thinking you're changing and of course you are. i'm not mad at you, yeah i kinda wanted to slap you but i'm not mad. ok i'm not that mad. i'm definitely pissed, but we're cool."

natalie hesitates for a second, then smiles, "when the hell did you get so smart?"

van blushes, "hanging out with taissa is doing something fucked to my brain-she actually likes studying."

"just studying, hm?" nat's smirk is back in it's normal place, and van knocks into their shoulder, "says the flamingo after lottie was in here."

"dude. that...i think she broke me."

"really? how the every loving fuck did charlotte matthews break you?

"she's like....magic?"

"how high are you right now?

"no i'm serious it's so weird. she kissed my knuckles after bandaging them."

"nat you are a giant fucking dyke."

"says you."

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itsnunoclock · 2 months

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A Leap of Faith | Rated G | Jackie / Shauna, Nat / Shauna | Part 4 of Odds and Ends series | Word count: 2,006 Tags: One Shot, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, POV Shauna Shipman, Pre-Plane Crash (Yellowjackets), Soccer, Teen Timeline (Yellowjackets) --- Shauna Shipman knew two things with ironclad certainty: soccer made sense and love did not. In the euphoric aftermath of their victory, the Yellowjackets come together for a celebratory group photo. ---

Shauna Shipman knew two things with ironclad certainty: soccer made sense and love did not.

On the field, she understood her role with crystalline clarity. Center midfielder, the beating heart of the team’s 4-4-2 formation. Always in motion, Shauna lived to control the middle of the field, to stifle the opposition’s attacks and spring her own forwards free. It was a 90-minute high-wire act of balance and precision, but one she’d performed since forever.

The grass stains on her knees and the burning in her lungs after a hard sprint felt more real than any of the insipid love songs crooning from mall speakers or her car radio. Those sugary melodies sang of love as some aspirational prize, all dramatic professions and happily ever afters wrapped in a tidy bow.

But Shauna had seen what lay beneath the shiny plastic veneer of suburbia. The hairline fractures and rotting foundations behind every picket fence smile, the furious silences stretching between her parents louder than any shouted argument. Love was a con, she’d decided long ago. An unstable isotope, decaying from the moment it was formed.

On the soccer field, at least, the rules stayed blessedly constant. The comforting geometry of the penalty box, the reliable rhythm of a well-executed give-and-go. Shauna could chart her course on muscle memory alone, Jackie always exactly where she needed to be to receive the pass, Lottie reliably hugging the touchline, Van an unyielding sentinel in goal. There were no hidden traps waiting to trip her up, just the black and white certainty of the scoreboard when the final whistle blew.

Maybe that was why she kept coming back year after year, despite the burning in her thighs and the way her heart felt like it might pound out of her chest. Because for 90 minutes (and maybe a handful more if Tai got her way), Shauna’s world made sense. On the field she was pure kinetic energy, the simple Newtonian physics of a body in motion. Soccer stripped her life down to the bare essentials: get ball, keep ball, put ball in net. Lather, rinse, repeat.

No hidden agendas, no false promises. Just 21 other girls and 2 goals and 1 ball, the elegant simplicity of action and reaction. The scoreboard never lied.

But love? Love was a four-letter word Shauna had long ago excised from her vocabulary. Just like all those other rose-tinted myths crammed down her throat since before she could walk. Prince Charming and happily ever afters and forevers that lasted until someone better came along or the going got tough or dad’s secretary bent over in a short enough skirt.

No, Shauna didn’t put much stock in forevers those days. She’d stick to 90 minutes instead, to the bruises and turf burns and shouts of her own name, the blessedly finite sprint from kickoff to final whistle.

That was enough for her. It had to be.

Except . . . somewhere in the sweat and the struggle and the desperate gasps for air, there was another four-letter word Shauna couldn’t quite dislodge. One that pulsed in time with her racing heart as she tracked Jackie’s darting runs, that rose in her throat like a cheer when Nat nutmegged a hapless defender. It was tangled and treacherous as a vine climbing towards the sun, but just as determined to take root.

And maybe, Shauna thought as Lottie sent a cross arcing her way and Jackie screamed for the ball, it wasn’t that different from soccer after all. Maybe love didn’t make sense and it didn’t follow rules and it sure as hell didn’t come with any guarantees.

But still she found herself leaning into it all the same, caught in its inexorable pull as surely as a satellite orbiting a star. All she could do was hold on tight, surrender to gravity, and pray the ride wouldn’t burn her up on re-entry.

So she did the only thing that had ever made sense. Shauna trapped the ball on her chest, looked up, and launched it into space.

And then?

She ran.

The referee’s whistle pierced through the clamor of the crowd, its shrill note heralding the end of the match. Shauna glanced up at the scoreboard, the numbers emblazoned there taking a moment to register through the haze of exhaustion: Wiskayok 3, Red Bank 1. They’d done it. They’d won the county championship.

Before the reality could fully sink in, Jackie’s arms were around her, the force of the hug nearly lifting Shauna off her feet. “We did it, Shauna! We fucking did it!” Jackie’s voice was hoarse from shouting, her breath hot against Shauna’s ear.

Shauna laughed, a giddy, breathless sound, and returned the embrace just as fiercely. Around them, the rest of the team converged in a tangle of sweaty limbs and elated shouts, the exhaustion of the hard-fought game momentarily forgotten in the rush of triumph. They jumped up and down, a pulsing mass of blue and yellow, until the need for air forced them apart.

As the initial euphoria began to ebb, Jackie disentangled herself from the group, her eyes sparkling with an idea. “Someone grab a camera!”

The suggestion was met with enthusiastic agreement, and the team began to assemble in front of the net, jostling each other good-naturedly as they jockeyed for position. Tai playfully shoved Van, who, in a burst of her usual theatrics, flopped onto the grass in front of everyone, striking a pose on her side with the ball resting against her stomach. Shauna found herself front and center, Jackie’s arm slung comfortably around her shoulders, the weight of it both familiar and thrilling.

“Misty! Get in here!” Nat called out, pale hands waving enthusiastically at their equipment manager from her spot between Shauna and Akilah. Misty, her face flushed with a mixture of shyness and exertion, ducked her head but scurried over to join the lineup beside Akilah.

Coach Scott surveyed the group, a rare smile softening his usually stern features. “Alright, everyone squeeze in!” He waved them closer, his eyes assessing the composition. “Misty, turn a bit to your left, please.”

As the team shuffled and compressed, Shauna became acutely aware of Nat’s presence to her right, the small space between them crackling with the residual energy of the game. Lottie, sitting on one knee in the front row, muttered something about Nat’s Italian heritage that Shauna didn’t quite catch, but it made Nat grin and raise her hand in a pinch gesture. Nat’s eyes caught Shauna’s, a fleeting moment of shared amusement, and Shauna felt an answering smile tug at her lips, charmed by the shy dimple that appeared on Nat’s cheek.

Then Jackie was adjusting her pose, her fingers brushing lightly against the 6 emblazoned on Shauna’s jersey, and suddenly Shauna’s focus narrowed to that single point of contact. The casual intimacy of the touch, the way Jackie’s hand lingered just a beat longer than necessary, made Shauna’s heart stutter in her chest, a familiar yet always surprising reaction.

It was always like this with Jackie - a constant push and pull, an undercurrent of something Shauna couldn’t quite name. Or maybe she could, but putting a label on it meant acknowledging the enormity of what she felt, the depth of her longing.

It was easier to focus on soccer, on the simplicity of the game. Pass, shoot, score. Cause and effect. Neat lines and clear objectives.

Not like the messy tangle of emotions that surfaced every time Jackie hugged her just a little too tight or fixed her with that soft, secret smile that seemed reserved only for Shauna.

“Okay, on three! One, two . . . ”

Shauna turned back to the camera, trying to school her features into something resembling a normal smile. Jackie’s arm tightened around her, pulling her close. The heat of her body, the citrusy scent of her shampoo beneath the sweat and grass, was dizzying.

“Three!” The shutter clicked, capturing the moment for posterity. The team erupted into cheers again, a jubilant mass of blue and yellow, when Laura Lee’s voice cut through the noise, “Let’s take a moment to give thanks.”

A few good-natured groans met her suggestion, but the team obediently formed a loose circle, arms slung around each other’s shoulders. Shauna found herself between Jackie and Nat, the warmth of their bodies bracketing her own.

Laura Lee began to speak, her voice steady and clear. “Dear Lord, we thank you for the strength and unity you’ve given us today. May we always remember the bonds we share, both on and off the field. Amen.”

A chorus of “Amen” echoed around the circle, some more enthusiastic than others. As Shauna murmured the word, she felt Jackie’s hand find hers, their fingers intertwining with practiced ease. On her other side, another hand brushed against hers, tentative but unmistakable.

“Alright, ladies, line up! Time for the handshake.”

Soccer was simple. Straightforward. You gave everything you had for ninety minutes, left it all on the field. There was a strange sort of peace in that single-minded focus, in surrendering to the flow of the game. The field was a world unto itself, a place where the only things that mattered were the ball at your feet and the teammates by your side.

But as the last hand was shaken and the teams began to drift apart, reality started to creep back in. And in the stillness that followed, in the quiet of the locker room or the hush of the bus ride home, Shauna’s thoughts always circled back to Jackie.

Sweet, stubborn, magnetic Jackie. Her best friend, her captain, the axis around which Shauna’s world turned. The one constant in a life that often felt like shifting sands beneath her feet.

It terrified Shauna sometimes, the depth of her feelings. The way her heart seized at the mere brush of Jackie’s hand, the way her skin tingled at the sound of her laugh. It was too much, too big, too all-consuming. A force as powerful and unpredictable as a free kick bending around a wall of defenders.

But maybe that was okay.

Maybe love wasn’t meant to make sense. Maybe it was supposed to be messy and confusing and utterly terrifying. Maybe that’s what made it so exhilarating, so worth chasing despite the risk of fumbling.

After all, wasn’t that the beauty of soccer? The unpredictability of it, the way the game could pivot on a dime? One moment you’re on the defensive, scrambling to protect your goal. The next, you’re surging forward, the ball dancing at your feet, the world blurring around you as you race towards the opposite end of the field.

It hadn’t always been this way for Shauna. There was a time when soccer was just another obligation, another box to check off on the endless list of expectations. But somewhere along the way, something had shifted.

And now, as she stood on the precipice of something new and terrifying and exciting, she couldn’t help but draw parallels between the two.

Love, Shauna was starting to realize, was not so different from soccer. It was a series of unexpected twists and turns, of setbacks and breakthroughs. It was the thrill of the unknown, the exhilaration of taking a leap of faith, of putting your heart on the line for something - for someone - that could change everything.

It was worth the risk of getting hurt, worth the uncertainty that came with stepping into uncharted territory. Because the alternative - a life without Jackie, without this wild, heart-pounding, breath-stealing feeling - was unimaginable.

Love and soccer. One intangible and elusive, the other solid and grounded. But at their core, they were two sides of the same coin, each a reflection of the other. Both demanding everything you had, both offering the chance at something extraordinary. The twin forces that kept her running, kept her chasing after dreams both on and off the field.

She might never fully understand love the way she understood soccer. But damn if she wasn’t going to keep playing the game.

#jackieshauna one shot #shaunanat one shot #jackieshauna #shaunanat #earlier parts of the series can be found in my ao3 #i googled the heck out of soccer for this one #bc i clearly don't know anything about soccer #except that you kick balls and stuff

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bluebaric · 9 months

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Holy fucking shit!! The new chapter was fire!! My heart is absolutely GUTTED NATALIE MY BABY. what were your thoughts when you were writing the chapter? Like things you especially liked, or things you were hoping would come across?

anon i am kissing you on the mouth (if i have your consent of course) for asking my favorite question in the whole wide world. thank u for ur service, and for enabling me.

i guess what i really just wanted to get across in this chap were the complications and nuances of both characters? it’s a bit more obvious with Nat as she is the POV character, and with her what I really wanted to capture was a sort of tentative blossoming, a true desire to make the right plays here, in spite of the terminal self loathing that’s been instilled in her since her childhood. she’s spent so much time with Lottie at this point, she really does trust and care about her, she’s really trying to make this work, trying to let herself be happy, and then her past comes knocking again and sends her into a self destructive tailspin. i plan in the next chapter to be a bit more explicit about what exactly drove nat to her outburst—she didn’t just take what her mom said at face value, bc vera is full of shit and she knows that, but it made her Think about things—but i hope it didn’t seem like it came out of nowhere? i hope it made sense to y’all?

and then with lottie, i was mainly just thinking about how lonely this girl has been her entire life. i don’t see her as a necessarily anxious or self loathing person; she’s got insecurities, but she also just desperately wants to be close to people and doesn’t have a problem wearing her heart on her sleeve with those people that she is close to. and i think she can be self sacrificing to a fault (for example, in canon, when she lets shauna beat the shit out of her for the good of the group) and i channeled that for the last scene, where she’s still hoping that nat will stay even tho nat purposefully said the worst thing she could possibly think of trying to make lottie hate her. like lottie is just so afraid of being alone again, which is rlly sad right!!! idk why i did that to her!!!

ALSO on another note, i think a really vital part of this story is nat’s relationships with all the other girls and i like highlighting those as well. i had a lot of fun with her convo with tai in this chap.

ne way, i think that’s enough of that. thank you so much for reading, i’m really glad you enjoyed it, and thank u for letting me close read my own work for you, it’s truly a passion of mine.

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lottiethatcher · 10 months

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What are we coming to? | Lottie x Nat ✧⁺⸜ part two

❝I know all the things around your head

And what they do to you❞

Pre-crash | 1996

Natalie’s pov ✧⁺⸜

Jackie and Shauna had planned for us, the Yellowjackets, to all hang out before school starts. After all, our last year of high school is coming up. The others like Shauna and Taissa will be focusing on their academics as well as soccer practice; our goal is to make it to the nationals. In other words, they'll be too busy to be goofing around.

We were to meet up at the food court of our local mall.

I got there a bit earlier than the others. Specifically, I wanted to check if they had more albums by Nirvana I could add to my collection.

I head over to the record store, skimming the grunge/punk rock section.

Their ‘Bleach’ album looked cool. Debating if I should get it. I looked at the back of the vinyl, revealing the tracklist.

“That's a good album. You should get it” said an unfamiliar voice.

I turn around. The unfamiliar voice belonged to a tall brown-haired boy.

We talked for what seemed like hours at the record store. I lost track of time, I suddenly remembered why I even was at our local mall in the first place.

“Sorry. It slipped my mind. I'm supposed to meet up with my friends about an hour ago” I spoke out.

“I'll walk you” the brown-haired boy suggested.

I let him walk me. Luckily everyone was still where they were supposed to be.

I bid farewell to the boy. It went on for a bit. As if he didn't want me to go and wanted to further our conversation.

As I tried to part ways with the brown-haired boy I felt an eye on me. I know she's looking at me.

I know Lottie’s looking at me. I look at Lottie’s way and I smiled at her, almost like I was signaling to her that I'll meet with the group soon. I'll meet with her soon.

I know what Lottie was thinking already. This me made further the conversation with the brown-haired boy. Whispering in his ear we should meet up sometime again before ending our conversation.

I know what Lottie was thinking already. This made me further the conversation with the brown-haired boy. Whispering in his ear we should meet up sometime again before ending our conversation.

My mind always goes there. Every time I'm reminded of Lottie, I do something like this. I meet up or plan to meet up with a guy. Maybe how I feel towards Lottie could eventually go away. But it never does.

I can't feel this way about her. Seeing her and spending time with her makes it hard to push what I feel for her away. Yet I can't get enough of her.

I’ve been a bit distant with Lottie nowadays. If only I was capable of leaving her alone completely. A part of me feels selfish for wanting her despite what I’m putting her through. As I try to act like nothing has changed. I knew she could tell that something was happening between us. Yet neither of us had spoken a word about it. Almost like we both came to an agreement to leave it alone altogether, without even communicating it.

I walked over to the group. They were all sitting down at the tables, with Lottie standing up.

“Hey guys, did I miss something?” I asked.

I didn't know what had gotten into me but as soon as I saw Lottie, I put my arms around her. She smiled at me.

That damn smile...

part three coming soon! nat and lottie ditch the group o̴̶̷̥᷅⌓o̴̶̷᷄

#yellowjackets #nat yellowjackets #nat scatorccio #natalie scatorccio #lottie x natalie #lottienat #lottie matthews #lottie yellowjackets #fanfic #Spotify

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redwhale · 11 months

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Quick Yellowjackets thoughts so I can clear my head – once I watched the final episode of The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, it’s going to be hard to shift mental gears back!

SPOILERS:

Spoilers! Spoilers! Spoilers!

Like a lot of folks, I spent the episode in the present timeline narrowing down who was going to die – and was heartbroken when I realized all the evidence towards Nat kept building. There was an instant around the campfire when I realized Nat had no one in that moment. Shauna had Jeff and Callie there for her, Misty had Walter, Van had Tai, and Lottie had her people and her belief. In the next scene, Lottie in the past gave over the leadership to a shocked Natalie, and I heartbrokenly realized it was done. Oh, Nat, my darling. I think I'm still processing.

I’m absolutely shattered for the loss Adult Nat and Juliette Lewis, but I adore from a narrative structure and perspective to see a character’s arc coming to a close in the present day as the younger version of the same character begins the next step in their arc. I love that that I know where Natalie as a character begins and ends, but I’m still missing the in-between. As Yellowjackets as proved many times this season, one of its great strengths are plot revelations that completely recontextualize existing scenes.

I was holding it together well with Nat dying, until Adult Nat began to cry on the plane. It was such a raw performance from Juliette Lewis that I had an involuntary little sob with her. Lewis will be dearly, dearly missed.

Whether you prefer the supernatural or the rational reading of the show, how heartbreaking that Natalie was back on the goddamn plane in the moments before her death. And whether ‘It’ is real or not, seeing Natalie's final moments accepting ‘It’ before her death and letting it in was hard. I so wish she’d been free from that.

I know a lot of people had predicted Natalie saving Lisa and dying in the process, and I don’t think it’s a bad thing to have been correct, as it means the focus of Natalie’s arc was solid. Nat, you were the best of them.

It was riveting watching Young Nat’s transition from shock and discomfort to giddiness and joy at become the leader.

It was also fascinating seeing Young Misty be the one to give Lottie hardcore cannibalism survival pep-talks: the group needs to do this and believe this to survive. Pep talking the messiah, as you do, though Lottie passed on her crown quickly.

There were so many great theories after 2.08 that the one who survived the hunt became the next Antler Queen, but now that Lottie has passed the leadership torch to Nat, I presume she becomes the Antler Queen in a static role. She also now has a fascinating foil in Coach Ben, who was surrounded by antler imagery all season. Is he an antagonistic foil to Nat, or a potential sacrifice?

Coach Ben, I still hope you live on to this day. I’m so intrigued where that leaves his character now, with his intention to kill the girls by burning the cabin. Does he still live on in the cave? Will we still follow his POV in the past? Does Nat figure it out what happened and the group goes hunting for Ben in vengeance?

Van continues to be a walking bundle of complex ambiguity. In the present, I think part of her was genuine in wanting to take responsibility over Lottie, but she also wanted another chance at life and her cancer going into remission. The weight in the final look between Adult Lottie and Adult Van sure was something.

I loved seeing Shauna in the past wanting to be the leader, and not being chosen, and how that entangled into her blaming Jackie for feeling invisible, but realizing that feeling didn’t end with Jackie’s death.

I’m fascinated to see how Nat dying affects Misty, especially by Misty’s accidental own hand. Misty is the main character we have the least amount backstory for, so I’m curious if next season Misty coping with Nat’s death might reveal more about her past. (I'll also always carry a torch for Misty/Nat.)

I wonder if there will be a bit of a timeskip in the present day next season, eg. Simone and Sammy, Van’s cancer, Shauna/Jeff/Callie trying to go back to normal lives, Lottie recovering, everything surrounding Kevyn, Misty dealing with the loss of Nat. Tai is the only character for me it would be a little jarring to do a time skip with, but I feel like it would benefit the rest of the cast.

There were two spoiler-y behind the scenes pictures for two potentially different storylines that didn’t get used this season. I won’t spoil here, but very curious if they were filmed and will be used later, or were cut entirely.

Both the younger and the adult casts were absolute powerhouses all season. Can everyone win an Emmy?

It’s hard to beat S1 because it’s so brilliant conceptually and in execution, but I thought S2 was a very enjoyable (and stressful) follow up. Ep.9 was a solid end of the season for me, with enough resolved to feel satisfied for now, but with plenty of questions to still be answered. My big hope was that the Adam Martin storyline would fully come to a close. I know we saw Walter tying up as much of that subplot as he could, but we still have the question of why had Martin made all those paintings of Shauna…. so I’m still wary whether that storyline has been fully resolved yet. It may be intended by the showrunners that he painted them all in the time he knew Shauna… but given his Yellowjackets yellow-blue keys, the time some paints can take to dry-? Hopefully some post-finale interviews give clarity there. I’d be happy to be done with the subplot, though.

Off to catch up on other people’s thoughts and watch the final episode of Mrs. Maisel. From cannibalism to comedy!

#yellowjackets #yellowjackets spoilers

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unnaturalequilibrium · 11 months

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I really quite enjoyed Yellowjackets. Even if it was a bit uneven for me, because there were things that were bloody spectacular and there were things that were good. I think in part I have an age bias so the adult timeline was for the most part engaging me a little more than the cabin in the woods part. It could also be because I felt like there was a disproportionate amount of time revolving around Nat and Travis relationship. It wasn’t interesting at all, at least not to me. Same goes for the amount of time spent on Shauna and Adam in the first season, it’s not that it was badly done, but it didn’t interest me. And I don’t think it’s only because of my gay bias, because the Shauna and Jeff parts were actually quite fun in a very fucked up way. Then again I really enjoyed Tai and Van in the wilderness and that was pretty much written as sweet and uneventful, sort of, but I still felt for them and ached at the loss of that during the current timeline. So I don’t know if Nat/Travis was uninteresting or if it was just heterosexual and that was the reason I couldn’t connect.

Anyhow, I think the main reason I enjoyed it so much beyond it being an ensemble cast of very talented women, was that there are no heroes and all villains, from a traditional pov at least. It’s just a bunch of scary women making bat shit crazy decisions and seeing them through to the end and beyond. I wouldn’t say there’s a lot of smart choices being made, but they’re followed through on competently. Dumbasses get shit done and you got to respect that.

And the scenes where the adult mains got to riff off each other are usually the best ones for me, I really wish there could have been more of them. It’s not to say that the scenes with the kids aren’t great, there’s some bloody good performances, but there’s something in the vibe of the adult scenes that I prefer. During the teen days it’s like there is a kind of hope that clings to the characters, a hint of normalcy even in the middle of the wilderness and developing madness. The adult versions of them though are left without that innocence and then the plot is allowed to be spray coloured all over the box and outside of it. And I know how strange this sounds considering the flashbacks feature teen cannibals in Mardi Gras costumes (not really a spoiler, it’s established pre-opening credits in the first episode), but for the most part the cabin in the woods is a fairly serious survival drama with some extra bells and whistles. The adult timeline however is sort of the reverse, on the surface it looks more realistic and like a regular normal piece of drama, but that mask quickly drops and then it’s just murder and absolute mayhem. It felt a little like the writers tried to at least for the most part keep a straight face while writing the teen part, but then the teacher left the room and they decided for no stops and full fuckery when writing the adults. I think it mostly comes down to personal preferences and I really did prefer it when the show got to be straight up black comedy with fucked up women holding a knife to the jugular of the narrative.

Ultimately though it’s a fun piece of gorey storytelling about trauma and group psychology. Also, a slow clap to whichever writer who used this to deal with their own high school trauma by writing Jackie. They do say revenge is a dish best served cold, so well done, Madame or Sir.

#yellowjackets #those nature shots tho #kind of making me want to visit north america #but only kind of

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kinetic-elaboration · 1 year

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April 16: Some Shauna and Jackie Thoughts

Okay, finished Yellowjackets Season 1 and now I just need to CHILL OUT and not think about it too obsessively because I need to go to work and accomplish things and, like, move on with my life. Start trying to get back to doing the stuff I was going to do this weekend but whatever.

Two thoughts about the show after having just binged S1 once, and then read a couple long reddit threads:

First: I think Jackie's death was really well done. I knew she died and was really dead from S2 spoilers but I also thought it was pretty obvious from the first season itself. Like it's weird to think that people were actively theorizing ways she could still be alive and stuff--that just didn't seem to be in the cards in any way from the text, either on a plot level (the way her parents treat Shauna) or on a thematic level (Jackie as the civilized world dying etc.). So then it's just a question of if her death is satisfying or not. I definitely think it was.

On the one hand, it was totally stupid and could have easily been avoided--something frustrating and random and chaotic--and on the other hand, it immediately followed an obviously climactic moment for Jackie and Shauna specifically, and the group as a whole to a lesser extent--something fitting and well-timed to the plot. This is the moment when Shauna and Jackie confront each other and stop being passive aggressive. It's the moment when the cult starts forming, and one person tries to stop it, and cannot. It's the moment that was foreshadowed: "cold as in you fall asleep and don't wake up," the inevitable coming winter. It's the team disintegrating and reforming: "freezing out" another member, this time the captain, this time their most obvious tie to the old world and the old ways. It's the moment that Jackie devised for herself: she's so ill-adapted to the wilderness that she can't even start a fire. It's also perfectly devised to create the most guilt possible for Shauna, coming after their fight, and because that fight created a situation where only one of them could stay, and she determined that Jackie would be the one who left.

I read some reactions along the lines of, it was unconscionable for them not to bring Jackie back in, or stupid for Jackie not to come in to save herself. I don't think so. This is late September/early October at the earliest. It's fall. That's a very early and unpredictable (supernatural?) snow, even for that area probably but especially from the POV of Jersey girls. I mean a bunch of them slept outside in flimsy dresses just the night before! They could not see this coming. Further, as others mentioned, this is THE most appropriate petty-high-school-fight way for a teenager to die, thus believable for that reason.

The final fight was also so satisfying because you could see both of their sides. I definitely think Jackie was misunderstood to an extent. I think she was a selfish mean girl more because she was 17 than because she was actively, consciously, trying to be selfish and mean. Had she lived, she would have grown out of it, imo. She had moments of real kindness, like doing Misty's makeup, and most of her mean behavior in the wilderness came from being just so terribly unsuited to it and also a bit naive, and a bit...unaware of her appearance to others. I don't think she was aware of the deep fissures in her relationship with Shauna. She was really hearing them for the first time in that argument, and that's partly because SHAUNA never shared them. Jackie saw her as "the sidekick" but she also deeply loved her, and time and again looked out for her and put her safety and well being first. She was also objectively right about the recent behavior of the girls: she must have felt really gaslit, being the only person who both knew about the bacchanal and didn't condone it. On the other hand, Shauna's long-term simmering resentments were fair. And I can't blame her for not saying them aloud before. She's only a kid, too, and that's hard stuff to say, especially in the context of that kind of lifelong attached-at-the-hip girl-friendship. The way that she and Jackie are is something she's known her whole life.

In other words, I think Jackie was right in that moment and about the more specific stuff, though she phrased her opinions badly, or chose a bad time to talk about them (re: Jeff) and Shauna was right or at least had understandable grief with Jackie in the long term, but she also picked a bad time to bring up all of this, like, 17 years' worth of slow-simmer interpersonal issues.

Second: I'm intrigued by the debate over the anachronistic journals. There were people getting big mad about the mistakes on reddit. And yet to hear the creators say so simply, no, they were never intended to be written by Jackie, really made me so much more curious abut them than I'd been either while watching or while reading the reddit debates. When I watched the ep myself, and saw the journal, my first thought was 'Jackie kept a journal? LOL OOC.' and my second was 'oh it's blank, that makes sense' and my third was 'oh it's not blank, okay, cute girl journal whatever.' And then I just took it as Shauna looking at her friend's stuff and feeling her frozen in time. Then when I read about the inaccuracies I just figured it was a prop error whatever.

But if they were not at all intended to be Jackie's...and of course, they're not, they have a lot of late 90s and early 2000s stuff in them... My assumption is it had to be Shauna who wrote them. That Shauna keeps a journal is one of my favorite things about her because I think there is always something mysterious and intriguing about a person's private thoughts written down (I say as someone who does a lot of that lol). We also know that she writes creatively, and that at some point, at least, this writing (both fiction and non-) was a big part of her self-identity. It figures prominently in her fantasies about Brown: she'd date the editor of the literary magazine, he'd fall in love with her over her stories, etc. And finally, we know that Jackie is a part of her, that she's been trying to connect with her, be her, be close to her, consume her since even before the crash.

It does not surprise me at all, then, that she tried to keep Jackie alive after returning home by writing in her voice, taking on the persona of her to create artifacts in her name--artifacts that she doesn't keep with her but deposits like museum items in the bubble-wrapped, well-preserved Teen Girl Room where Jackie used to live. It's not just the grieving parents who treat Shauna as a surrogate-daughter. It's Shauna herself who, at least at one time, inhabits Jackie to keep her alive in at least this one sense: a personality who can create objects reflecting her thoughts and feelings. A process of creation that Shauna does all the time as herself, that is a Shauna-thing, now distorted to match Jackie: her voice, her thoughts, her opinions. Then the artifact remains, 20 years later, as if Jackie had lived longer than she had. It's not evidence of her friend frozen in time, it's evidence of her own grief, and of their once-entwined selves, frozen in time.

#the year 2023 #2023: fandom thoughts #2023: yellowjackets #yellowjackets spoilers #for s1 which i know came out a while ago but like big spoilers

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ghost-wolf34 · 10 months

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Werewolf Bucky Barnes.

Chapter 16. Girl talk. The past comes back with vengeance part two:

Shauna's pov.

I was getting ready to go on my date with my now mate, when I got a text from fury telling me that I had a mission with Wanda. I sighed and shook my head, before asking him when I had to leave and he said now. I quickly grabbed my uniform and got changed, before going to meet up with Wanda for the mission.

When I went to meet up with Wanda I saw Steve talking to Peggy, I over heard them talking about the mission but I decided to ignore them as I walked to where Wanda was waiting. "You ready to go? Steve said that Peggy is coming along." Wanda told me, as she turned to face me.

"Yeah I'm ready, but I don't like going without telling Buck bye. It feels wrong and odd, I always get to tell him bye as he does with me." I told her, as I then sighed and shook my head not happy that fury had to ruin my date with my mate.

"We should get moving before fury grills us out for that, I know you don't like not telling him bye and I don't either. But Steve said that he was busy with something, the two of you will be able to catch up later I promise." Peggy told me knowing that I felt bad for leaving without telling him by.

End of pov, skip to third.

Shauna and the girls soon left on their mission, she soon started to mess with ring on her right pointer as she thought about Bucky and why could or would be in store for them up ahead. "You know, Steve told me that you've that a lot lately and I've been your right long enough to know that you do that when your thinking or when something is bothering you. So...what is it?" Peggy asked her friend softly but yet kindly.

Shauna looked up at her friend, before going back to playing with the ring on her finger. "Yeah, sorry about that. I uh...I have had a lot on my mind, and I haven't exactly been feeling well lately." She told her friend honestly and truthfully. "And I've been staying more to myself again, because my wolf side is just acting more moody then normal but of course no one knew about expect for Buck and of course Steve.

I just know that bucks been worried for me a bit, because I haven't been myself lately. But I haven't exactly been feeling well and I'm scared because I don't know what's wrong, and I don't want to worry him especially since he's already up most of the night from nightmares." Shauna told her friend, as she sighed and looked down at her lap.

"I don't like to see you like this, if you haven't been feeling well. You should've said something and I would've told fury to have you sit this one out, you shouldn't have to force yourself to go on a mission just to make fury happy.

As much as I know you don't like to sit things out, but I really think you should've told me or at the very least your partner. He deserves to know how your feeling-." Peggy said, before looking at Wanda since the jet was in auto pilot. "What is it?"

Wanda was looking over at her friends as they talked, she tilted her head at them as she sensed something coming from inside Shadow. "There's something off with you, not in a bad way but I can sense something." Wanda told her two friends.

"What do you sense?" Peggy asked her, she wondered what her friend was sensing and if it was good or bad. "Is it good or bad?"

"I can't tell yet, but I can definitely sense something within you Shadow. It's..." Wanda's eyes went wide as she realized now why Shauna didn't want to come into the mission but fury wouldn't have none of it, she now realized why Shadow actually wanted to talk to her mate before they left.

"Please don't say Wanda." Shadow thought knowing her friend could read her mind, she didn't want it to come out at the moment when they had a mission to focus on so they could get back home.

Wanda read her friends thoughts but she didn't know what to say, as she agreed with keeping it a secret but she was definitely going to have her back now during this mission. "I won't, but you are going to have to tell her if something goes wrong." She thought to her friend.

Shadow nodded her head at Wanda when she told her that she wouldn't say anything and she told her to tell Peggy if the mission went sideways. "It's something good, I just don't want to say it." She told Peggy since she didn't want her to worry, as she watched her friend smile and nod before getting a happy but yet stern look on her face.

"If it's what I think it is, then I'm going to have a word with Director fury when we get back." Peggy told her friend, she had her assumptions but she was definitely also going to have her back through the the mission til she knew for sure. Accept none of them knew that the mission was actually about to go wrong very wrong.

#bucky barnes #werewolf bucky barnes x oc #werewolf bucky barnes #the winter soldier #white wolf #sebastianstan

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champagn3-sup3rnova · 6 years

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Chapter 3

The wait is over folks (i say folks like i have followers) my muse has struck, sorta.

Serena’s POV

I couldn’t believe it, I was actually gonna become a Pokemon Trainer! so many emotions were running through me that the only way i could cope with it was crying. “Serena are you ok?!” Shauna asked with concern. All my friends came over to see if I was ok. “Yeah Shauna I’m fine, its just, we’re actually Pokemon Trainers, how long have we wanted this?” I asked, still with tears rolling down my face. :She’s right Shauna, we’ve all wanted this for years, and now it’s finally happening, a dream has turned into a reality.” Calem told Shauna. “As touching as this is we all have to check with our parents before we do anything.” Trevor said. Getting my mom’s approval? no problem, getting my Grandmom’s approval? that’s deader than the Pokemon in Mt Pyre over in Hoenn. “If you get your parents’ approval meet back here tomorrow at 12pm, if you aren’t here then we’ll assume you can’t go.” Trevor told us. “Seems fair, only thing is it would be tragic if all of us can’t go on the journey we’ve talked about for years.” Tierno said. “Don’t worry T, we’re almost adults. our parents shouldn’t have a problem with it.” Calem told Tierno. “Are we all forgetting about Serena’s Grandma?” Trevor asked. “Oh that’s true....i mean after what you and Calem were caught doing do you really think this is gonna sit well with her?” Shauna asked. “I think she’ll give in and let me go, and to Calem’s credit we are almost adults.” i said. What Shauna had said really bothered me. Was this really gonna sit well with my grandmother? Now that I had finally knew the reason my grandma is overprotective of me there was no way she was gonna let her only grandkid go off on a journey with the same boy I got caught fucking, there was just no way.

Calem’s POV

“Wait! Serena!” i yelled trying to get her attention. “Oh hey Calem! what you need?” she asked. “If you’re not busy do you wanna meet me at the lake in the woods in Vaniville town?” i asked. “Sure! I’d love to, uh what time?” she asked. “How about 3? does that work for you?” i asked. “3 works for me, see you there Calem!” she told me and she walked away, having to resist the urge at looking at her ass. “OOOOOOO Calem has a date!!” Shauna said, coming out of the bushes. “Holy shiy you scared me! Shauna what were doing just now?” i asked. “Oh nothing, just eavesdropping, so y’all gonna meet up at the lake huh?” She said. “Yeah we are, why?” i asked her. “No reason, you know Calem I’ve always found you hot..” she told me. “Uh, thanks Shauna, you too.” i replied. “I wanna make a deal with you, since we have new Pokemon, we should battle.” she told me. “Ok sound good to me!” i said while grabbing my Pokeball. “But what’s the deal?” i asked her. “If i win i get to have you for a night.” she said. “Wait a minute, aren’t you and Tierno a thing? i wouldn’t wan-” she cut me off and said “Me and him are in a open relationship, i can fuck whomever, and so can he, it’s funner that way.” she told me. “Ok you have a deal.” i said. To be honest I’ve always found Shauna really attractive, so even if I lost i was still winning. “Go Chespin!” she said throwing out her Pokemon.”Alright Froakie lets go!” i said throwing out my Pokemon. I had completely failed to realize i was at a type disadvantage, grass beats water and i had finally realized that she had planned this all along, she knew she had the upper hand, and as much as getting in her pants sounded fun, i was not gonna let her get one over on me. “Froakie use pound!” i commanded. Froakie moved at lightning speed and hit Chespin dead in the face. “Chespin use vine whip!” Shauna commanded. If Froakie caught this it was as good as over. Froakie however seemed to have known that and dodged it. “Froakie use Pound again!” I commanded. But Chespin had other things in mind. “Chespin use your vines to grab Froakie by the legs and slam it into the ground!” She commanded. Chespin’s vines got Froakie by the legs and slammed it into the ground like she had wanted Chespin to do. Froakie however was still standing. “Froakie use pound again!” I told it. Froakie rocked Chespin and it seemed to have done a lot of damage, I’m assuming this is what is known as a critical hit. “Chespin use tackle!” she told Chespin. Chespin isn’t the fastest but it’s power mad up for it, Chespin was gunning for Froakie and if it connected Froakie was done for. “Froakie use bubble in Chespin’s eyes!” i commanded. the idea seemed to have worked as the bubbles popped in Chespins’s eyes and stopped it dead in its tracks. “Chespin are you ok?!” Shauna asked concerned. Chespin however was still up. Our Pokemon were really some troopers. “Froakie use pound!” i commanded. “Chespin use tackle!” Shauna commanded as well. Both our Pokemon clashed and both fell at the simultaneously, however Froakie got up and Chespin didn’t, thus i was declared the winner. “Good job Chespin you did great!” Shauna said calling her Pokemon back. “Froakie you did amazing, come back!” i said calling it back. “That was a fantastic battle you two!” a stranger said clapping. Me and Shauna looked around and saw a crowd of people who had been watching the battle. “Thanks for the battle Calem! it was really fun.” Shauna said while hugging me. Even though i had won, I was not about to turn down a night with Shauna. “Shauna, meet me at my house tonight at 9, my parents don’t come back till tomorrow.” i whispered. “Sounds like a plan.” she said. We said our goodbyes and I checked the time, It was 2:45, I went home and got changed and started to walk to the lake, the nerves started to kick in and boy was I nervous. I finally made it to the lake and I saw Serena, she looked absolutely stunning, her swimsuit complimented her body so well, i was in awe how beautiful she was. she turned around and saw me. “Hey Calem!” she greeted. “Hey Serena!, you look great!” i complimented her. “You look great as well Calem!” she said, complimenting me. We swam, laughed, and had fun for a few hours. Eventually it had come time for us to leave. “Thank you for the amazing time Calem.” she said thanking me. “Anytime Serena.” i told her. We bothad started to walk away but Serena had called my name. “Calem!” she yelled. I began to walk back to her. “Yeah Serena?” i asked. She looked at me and started inching closer. Me getting the hint i inched closer as well, time seemed to have stopped, but before our lips could meet she said, “Calem, I-”Calem is that you?!”

End of chapter 3

#pokemon #smut #fanfic

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barnes-and-parker · 7 years

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Clay Appuzzo x oc

Shauna’s pov

I was on my way to one of my husbands gigs to surprise him with our three year old daughter Miah since I got back from my music tour that I had been on for a month now, me and Miah missed him a lot and he did too. It didn’t even matter how many times I video chatted with Clay so me an Miah could see him, me and Clay still wanted to see each in person, hug each and kiss each other I felt bad that we had to be away from each other for a month but now I was coming back home with a surprise for him that I forgot to tell him the day I left. As soon as I arrived at the gig I grabbed my VIP ticket and Miah I showed it to them they let me go behind stage but when I went to go behind stage I looked up at Clay on the stage I looked at him smiling he quit talking with a smile on his face and wide eyes when he saw me I winked at him while Miah waved he smirked at me before continuing to talk making the crowd laugh but I was shocked at what he said next. “Alright I have a special guests here tonight and I was wondering if you guys wanted to meet them would you guys like that”? The crowed cheered he looked over at me before doing a hand motion I took a deep breath before walking on stage with Miah in my arms and of course I was given a mic I smiled at the crowd before Clay said. “Everyone this is my wife Shauna and our daughter Miah, and their going to help me a song that Miah’s been working on He winked at me I blushed before shrugging my shoulders while looking at our three year old daughter who was smiling the crowd did a low laugh then I looked at Miah saying. “Well are you ready miss Miah”? She nodded before singing to Clay he listened happily to her singing the crowd was also listening after she was done Clay was now crying a little then I sat her down carefully she ran over to him he bent down and picked her up hugging her the crowd was saying aw and that’s so cute. “And I also we have one more surprise for the birthday boy”. I said I into the mic smiling Clay looked over at me as he walked over with Miah in his arms then he held her in his one arm while his other had the mic still. “What else could you surprise me with Shauna I got to see you and Miah”? Clay said while looking at me I looked at him before sitting a hand on my baby bump he eyes went wide he smiled before saying. “We’re gonna have another baby”? I nodded he walked over then an hugged me I hugged him before Miah said . “I’m gonna have a baby brother or sister”. The crowd cheered while awing at us and Miah. Let me know if you guys liked this one shot and if you guys want a part two cause I would love to do a part two for this.

#submitted #submission

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ghost-wolf34 · 5 years

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lance tucker one shot.

Hey everyone this imagine is about Lance Tucker training his girl who was never treated the greatest by her family or anyone so she asked him if he could train her to be on his team so he says yes then he trains her and she gets bullied that same day and gets hurt really bad so he takes care of his girl and gets the bullies in trouble for hurting his girlfriend who has a wolf hybrid side and powers also.

(Shauna's pov)

I woke up to Lance not in bed beside instead I hear him in the bathroom getting ready to go to the gym for practice so I get out of bed in only one of his shirts and sweatpants then I walk over to the bathroom door and knocked.

Knock!

Yes?

Can I come in?

Shauna do you really have to ask to come in when we've been dating for a year. He said after chuckleing

Sigh..no.

Okay then since you can telaport how about you telaport yourself in here so I can give you a kiss.

Alright.

So I telaported myself in to the bathroom and gave Lance a kiss on the lips then I got ready to go with him to the gym like I always do but this time I'm going to try out to be on the team so wherever Lance goes I go to. So after we got ready and everything it was time to leave for practice.

Alright babe are you ready to go?

Sigh..yeah I guess.

Shauna honey what's wrong? Lance asked me while sitting next to me on the couch

Sigh..what if I mess up or get picked on for being your girlfriend or worse I get hurt I just don't know what I'm doing anymore.

Babe you'll do great I know you will you always do and if you mess up it's alright no ones perfect not even me and if you get picked on I will defend you do you know why?

No Lance I don't because I don't think I'm worth it. I said to Lance sadly before sighing again then I hung my head then I felt Lance gently tilt my head

Because I love you Shauna a lot more then you know alright and please don't say you're not worth it because you are worth it to me Shauna.

Thanks Lance a lot thank you. I told him while hugging him then he hugged me back

Your welcome babe. I chuckled after he said that

What's so funny? Lance asked me while smiling

You calling me nicknames it's cute when you do that. I told him while blushing

He smiled then he said alright we should probably get going before were late. Lance said while looking at his white watch. Then after that we left and headed to the gym and I talked to Lance a little bit of the way there like I always do.

Lance can I ask you something?

Hmm..yeah of course what is it?

What I'm I supposed to call you when we get there Lance or coach Tucker if you don't mind me asking?

I don't mind Shauna you can call me L..wait did you just call me coach Tucker?

Yeah I did. I said while blushing then he gave me his signature smirk which made me blush even more

Your lucky I love you and when you say my first and last name. He said then he winked at me

So what do you want me to call you?

Coach Tucker or Lance is fine Shauna.

Alright coach Tucker it is then.

After we got to the gym we got out of our black truck and went inside the girls that Lance was training some of them were looking at me with naughty nasty looks on their face and others weren't but Lance was ignoring them and this made the ones that were mad really mad when he kissed me on the lips and held my hand.

Alright everyone this is Shauna she going to be your new team mate so treat her nice and kindly, because if I find out any of you are mean to her you will get in trouble and I mean it got it. Lance said in his cocky coach voice before winking at me and I looked up at him and smiled at him

After that the girls started practicing one by one until it was my turn.

Alright Shauna your up.

Okay coach Tucker. I told him before winking at him then he smirked and winked back So after Lance told me and showed me what to do I did it lading perfectly without hurting myself.

Alright Shauna nice job I'm proud of you.

Thanks coach Tucker.

Your welcome.

...Couple of hours later...

alright that's enough practice know why don't you guys take a break. I heard Lance say before he winked at me then he went into his office

Mean while in the locker room...

Well..well look who decided to join the team miss little princess why did you even try out for the team? One of the mean girls named Ashely said to me

Because I wanted to and it's none of your business. I told them before they pushed me back in to the lockers

Wrong but coach Tucker seems to care for you a lot but since he's busy I guess he can't protect you from us right girls?

Right. One of them replied

Then the next thing I know their kicking me, punching me, just bullying until I heard a crack I screamed as soon as I felt pain in my ribs on my left side that left me crying and whimpering then I heard clear into Lance's office do to my wolf hearing I heard someone telling him what had happened and what's happening to me then I heard him yell.

Is she okay?

I don't know coach she was getting punched and kicked really hard then I heard a crack and her scream out in pain.

Wait she screamed?

Yes!

Ahhhh!

Shauna!

After I screamed again because I felt like my back was broken then I heard Lance running over to where the lockers are at then I heard him yell.

Alright guys that's enough break it up.

After that I saw his blurry figure since I can't see straight from crying, trying to get the girls to back off then I felt him gently help me which made me yelp because of my back and my left side ribs.

Shauna are you okay? Lance asked me while putting my arm over his shoulders

She probably faking it making it look like she's hurt.

That's enough Ashely.

So how is she?

Well her back is injured really bad and her ribs are broken buried.

How bad?

Hmm...her ribs are broken to the point where she will need to rest and take it easy along with her back for a couple of months.

So her back isn't broken?

No it's just where her scar is on her back but she hurt it really bad so you might want to watch her for a little while.

Okay.

Oh and I'm also happy that you found someone like her to love you you're really lucky to have her.

Thanks.

So after Lance helped me to the truck and after that we drove home after he got home Lance helped me take a shower and get ready for which my outfit was one of his shirts and me bed time shorts then after that he got a shower then we lied down

You look beautiful. Lance said while looking down at me since my head is lying on his bare chest and since I'm tracing patterns on his stomach

Thanks Lance and you look handsome. I told him while smiling and leaning up to kiss him on the lips

Don't I know it. A little while after that we fell asleep in each other's arms.

#lancetucker

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