When Severus Snape became a Hogwarts Professor and realised he can't swear in front of his students or colleagues, he started using Potion ingredients as insults and it completely goes over everyone's head.
*student completely messes a Potion up*
Snape: *rolls eyes* Boomslang
*student blows up a cauldron*
Snape: You complete and utter Dundruff-
*Dumbledore is at it again*
Snape: That Frogging Hellebore!
Sprout: Oh? Do you need some Hellebore, Severus?
Snape:...
-
Student A: Why is Snape always citing Potion ingredients?
Student B: Absolutely no idea.
Student C: Maybe he thinks the recipes for his next classes.
Dumbledore: Have you noticed something wrong with Severus?
McGonagall: What do you mean, Albus?
Dumbledore: He has started mentioning Potion ingredients out of the blue
McGonagall: You're... actually right.
Sprout: Maybe he's stressed? He takes on a lot of work...
Filius: *tries to hide his amusement because he has figured it out*
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Hello friends! Recently, I participated in the fourth HP Rare Pair fest, and with 81 unique and beautiful entries it was a veritable FEAST for the eyes and heart and soul. (Check out the whole collection here)
I wanted to take a moment to post highlights of the fics that just really brought me to my knees in hopes that you’ll fangirl/boy/person over them with me!
1. Evergreen by @thecouchsofa (23k)- Harry Potter x George Weasley
What would happen if Harry asked George to go to the Yule Ball with him instead of Parvati? This GOF Yule Ball AU is sure to slay you with sheer adorableness. I couldn’t stop smiling and squealing through the whole thing. This rare pair is one of my favorites, and this fic went above and beyond, plus it’s the perfect holiday read! Rating: T
2. Lonely Creatures by @apricitydays-lazynights (5k)- Severus Snape x Giant Squid
The prompt to put these two together could easily have been pure hentai crack nonsense (which is a brilliant option) but this story did things to me that I can’t even put into words. It’s tender, melancholy, and cuts to the heart of Severus Snape’s isolation and longing to be seen and loved. The details of this are so richly woven, and I particularly enjoyed the authors’ focus on Mermlish/Merfolk. Standing ovation to this fic! Rating: E
3. Slice of Night by SquibNation10 (9k)- Aurora Sinistra x Severus Snape
This was the fic that took me the most by surprise. I love the creativity in taking a character who gets very few canon details and making them real and beautiful and believable. Auror Sinistra is divine in this, and I’ll give some honorable mentions to both Argus Filch and Rolanda Hooch as excellent supporting characters that also don’t typcially get a lot of spotlight. What a gorgeous slice of life fic! Rating: T
3. Quick Quotes and Quibbles by RainstormRadish (3k)- Luna Lovegood x Rita Skeeter
Rita and Luna have to work together to cover the wedding of Neville Longbottom and Pansy Parkinson. There’s just something about a story told in unconventional medium that will always ALWAYS pull me in! This unlikely pairing comes together in the sweetest way, their strong personalities balancing each other out until they become a formidable team. I particularly loved the graphics and paper trail memos/epistolary style storytelling. Rating: T
4. Your seat, it’s the best seat by @the-houseryn (17k)- Ron Weasley x Draco Malfoy
MOVE OVER only one bed, there’s a new trope in town and it’s the ONLY ONE SEAT trope!! This was sexy, flirtatous, and hot AF. I’m always down for a Dron fic, but this one is one of the best I’ve read in a while, with some delicious pining and a predictably oblivious Ron. Do yourself a favor and indulge in the lap-sitting fic of the year! Rating: E
5. Vivaldi and Hot Chocolate by @patriceavril (6k)- Percy Weasley x Stan Shunpike
What was Percy up to in OTP/HBP? What a lonely life that must have been! This fic was soft and sweet, giving some much-needed love to a character that we all wrote off in canon for being a stuck-up prick. I love how Percy seeks out the warmth and comfort of the Knight Bus, coming back for more because of the kind-hearted and bubbly Stan Shunpike, who always insists on giving Percy free hot chocolate. I never expected to be so enamoured by this pairing, but I am! Rating: T
6. The monster you feed by @ghostfelicis188 (11k)- Regulus Black x Remus Lupin
This canon-compliant fic tore me to shreds. TO SHREDS. Like, I am such a simp for tragic Remus romances, and this took the cake. Features: pining artist Remus, and shit-eating cruel Regulus who toys with Remus the whole damn fic. If you like hurt no comfort, this is the fic for you. *Chefs Kiss* Rating: M
7. Gilded Web by @emilyrickman AlihotsyTotsy (8k)- George Weasley x Blaise Zabini
I cannot believe that this understated fic packed such a punch in 8,000 words. George agrees to an undercover operation to investigate the mysterious deaths of Mrs. Zabini’s deceased husbands. He is so pure in this, his characterization charming and believable, I just need more of this George! Bonus points for references to “the Sting” Rating: M
8. Sleeping with Ghosts by @ghaniblue (21k)- Harry Potter x Regulus Black x Draco Malfoy
My initial thoughts when encountering this relationship tag was something akin to a bewildered head scratch but OMG the best thing about this fest is having expectations completely upended! This fic slayed hard with a slow burn, found family, semi-sentient house renovation angle that had me completely melted by the end. Rating: M
9. The Last Trial of Peter Petegrew by @sleepstxtic (20 k)- Peter Petegrew x James Potter
If possible, I’d like to ram this fic down the throats of all my mutuals with a plea to PLEASE READ THIS FIC. I can’t begin to describe in a tiny paragraph what this did to me. Often Peter Petegrew is relegated to the traitor bus in fandom (understandable) but this took every mean and traitorous part of his character and made me almost like him despite his treachery! The format of this was also a delight to read, and I love that Hermione presents the case for Peter Petegrew in this meta purgatory-style courtroom drama. Rating: M
10. Anatomy of a memory by @venom0usbarbie (9k)- Ginny Weasley x Tom Riddle
This story was pure poetry wrapped in a sinister diary-shaped package. I love the self-fulfilling prophecy nature of this time loop style storyline, as well as the toxic obsession and manipulation played out between Ginny and Tom. What a mindfuck ending that was, too! Kudos to the “Tom Riddle is his own Warning” tag. Rating: M
11. Sweet Boy by @maraudersaffair (6k)- Narcissa Black Malfoy x Harry Potter
A not-quite-fake dating fic with lots of smut, thirst, and mommy/praise kink? Yes, please! I was literally panting by the end of this, Harry and Narcissa are so hot together! Rating: E
12. Growing Suspicion by nocturn (1.8k)- Neville Longbottom x Marcus Flint
Someone keeps mutilating Neville’s plants, and he’s going to get to the bottom of it OR that time Marcus expresses feelings but doesn’t understand proper plant care. This fic was A-DOR-ABLE. Love me a good Hogwarts professors/staff fic, and this was just a bite-sized delight to read. Rating: G
13. For Your Burning Gaze by SquibNation10 (22k)- Neville Longbottom x Pansy Parkinson
The fic that I most want to see a sequel for award goes to… this Twilight Zone post-war marriage law fic complete with creepy house elves and a very troubled Pansy, who seems to be the only one realizing that something is not quite right! This is one of the best Panville fics I’ve read, I was on the edge of my seat the entire time. Rating: E
Thanks to @hprarepairfest for putting on another amazing fest!
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‘ how much insert zodiac are you ? , aesthetics tag ! ’
repost, don’t reblog !
from THIS post — please do not remove credit
template credit : villainsrph — please do not take for use
tagged by : nobody
tagging : @ anyone who wants to, of course !
𝐀𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐒: sun, moon, rising.
short temper / hard worker / wont stop til i reach my goals / impulsive / outspoken & honest / always up for an adventure / extremely passionate
𝐓𝐀𝐔𝐑𝐔𝐒: sun, moon, rising.
lazy / homebody / stubborn AF / shop-a-holic / foodie / not a fan of change / addicted to sleeping
𝐆𝐄𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐈: sun, moon, rising.
talkative / indecisive / major mood swings / loud & expressive / life of the party / always laughing / love to watch drama unfold
𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐂𝐄𝐑: sun, moon, rising.
sensitive & emotional / nurturing / the “mom” friend / a bit dramatic / great at cooking / love decorating & interior design / crying is my therapy
𝐋𝐄𝐎: sun, moon, rising.
lover of the arts / thick AF hair / charismatic & outgoing / artistically & musically inclined / unique or bold sense of style / lover of bright colours / humongous ego
𝐕𝐈𝐑𝐆𝐎: sun, moon, rising.
organized AF / detail-oriented / mind is constantly on overdrive / need routine to function / always the group project leader / love to criticize for fun / prefer to stay in my comfort zone
𝐋𝐈𝐁𝐑𝐀: sun, moon, rising.
hate conflict / mediator of the friend group / always down to party / hopeless romantic / interested in fashion & beauty / indecisive AF / friendships are everything
𝐒𝐂𝐎𝐑𝐏𝐈𝐎: sun, moon, rising.
possessive over loved ones / intense mood swings / resting bitch face / super strong intuition / never forgive OR forget / extremely guarded / interested in the paranormal or occult
𝐒𝐀𝐆𝐈𝐓𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐈𝐔𝐒: sun, moon, rising.
love to travel / optimistic & positive / social butterfly / in constant need of change / do NOT mess with my loved ones / love to learn / care-free AF
𝐂𝐀𝐏𝐑𝐈𝐂𝐎𝐑𝐍: sun, moon, rising.
hard-working & dedicated / love being in charge / dark or self-deprecating humor / relationships and friendships are long term / always been on the more mature side / constantly need to feel productive / realistic & practical AF
𝐀𝐐𝐔𝐀𝐑𝐈𝐔𝐒: sun, moon, rising.
strong political opinions / friendships are everything / love to debate / stubborn AF / interested in paranormal or occult / need a lot of space / afraid of feeling emotions
𝐏𝐈𝐒𝐂𝐄𝐒: sun, moon, rising.
sensitive & emotional / artistic & creative / always crying / very strong intuition / hold grudges 5ever / take everything personally / caretaker for my loved ones
severus’s signs are : capricorn (sun) , taurus (moon) , sagittarius (rising)
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This has probably been done before and better but Consider: Petunia was the witch and Lily was not.
Okay, so instead of being a bitter jealous hurt person Petunia is a happy one. Lily is excited beyond the telling of it. She has to know everything. Petunia likes the attention too, likes being cool. They stay close. More importantly for the first time in her life Petunia isn’t an upper middle class kid, she’s a Muggleborn. She can never be a Pureblood. This totally refocuses how she sees people. Hell, even Lily’s stupid little friend from across town in his patchy hand-me-down clothes is a Halfblood and that’s more than she can say for herself.
Okay, Petunia gets furious when Severus has the unmitigated gall to keep talking to Lily over breaks like they're still friends. She knows the kinds of people he hangs out with and the racist bullshit they pull. How would they feel about his little Muggle friend, hmm? So imagine our girl Tuney in her Ravenclaw robes sidling up to the Slytherin table at lunch and asking after Sev’s mum. Mentioning low key that he and her little sister (no magic, poor thing), are best friends. Imagine her casually dropping his soppy letters home to Lily that she stole so there is no question he’s a garbage little liar.
But also Lily. Lily is at the center of all of this. Lily. Learns. Potions. Petunia doesn’t teach her, it doesn’t even occur to her that Lily can learn. No, this is all Lily’s doing, Lily whose sister comes home on holiday her pockets full of frog spawn turning teacups into rats, Lily who wants to play too, just straight up breaking into Tuney’s room while she’s out. Lily who practiced basic spells with her sister’s wand and refused to cry when she noticed they were never, not in a million years, going to work. Lily who didn’t quit because of that, who read the History of Magic textbooks because even magic history is just history until she could ace the HOM O.W.Ls. Lily who, and this is canon, saw potions and it just clicked. There wasn’t any hesitation or doubt, she read the textbooks and it all came together, the timing and the nature of ingredients and the precision. It’s not too terribly much different than baking and Lily is so good at that her mum thinks she ought to pursue culinary though Lily reckons she’d rather focus on chemistry. Petunia finds out when she catches one of her essays corrected in red pen instead of Slughorn’s sloppy quill work. “He was wrong,” Lily explains, not remotely apologetic, “I mean you were wrong too, but he was wrong about why you were wrong.”
James still loves Lily. They meet at the train station when she’s seeing her sister off. “Are you going to Hogwarts?” James asks. Lily smiles, but sadly, “Not this year.”
Just before that happened: "I'm sorry, I'm sorry you can't go. I'm sorry. I thought when you turned eleven you could go too but.... but it's not like that. There's nothing I can do."
"Don't be silly, Tuney. I've got Mr. Feathers, I'll write this Professor Dumbledore and persuade him to change his mind!" (Petunia’s owl is named Mr. Feathers as creativity is not her strong suit)
Anyway, no, James still loves Lily and he is still every ounce as stupid about it. She’s the girl from the train he always just misses after that first time. Is she a Prewett or a Weasley, maybe? With that hair she could be either. Maybe she’s a squib. There is something about her that bothers him in an ‘I want to pull her pigtails’ kind of way. Never in a million years would he associate the Little Red-Haired Girl with, of all people, Petunia Evans. Who would?
So, okay, yeah, Lily is stubborn and Gryffindor af. Personal letters get owled to Dumbledore on the daily insisting she be permitted to attend her sister's Quidditch games as it is only fair. (Petunia doesn't play, she's the announcer)but Dumbledore is still himself. He’s positively charmed by the angry little Muggle girl writing him because he loves moxie and also chaos. Besides which Lily learns he likes lemon drops and mails them to him as a bribe. Which, yes, this really messes up James Potter on a deep personal level because here is this boy, trying to play Quidditch and just avoid all the random conspiracies that infect his life and then in the MIDDLE OF A GAME James flies side by side with Sirius, quaffle in hand, "Si, hey! Hey! Look over there, in the Ravenclaw section! It's the girl from the train station!"
"ARE YOU MAD??? GO THROW THE BALL AT THE HOOP YOU DAFT BASTARD!"
"Who is she?"
Sirius, at this point, hits a bludger at James on purpose.
“I saw stars when I looked at her.”
“You saw stars because of a head injury I gave you.”
“Yeah, what the hell, mate?”
Somehow, I'm not sure how, Petunia gets into the Slug Club. She brings Lily to a party as her +1. Slughorn is amused but not annoyed, like, "Ms. Evans, when you said you were bringing a guest this was not exactly what I expected and you have never been one to do the unexpected." But Petunia does not back down. "Professor Slughorn, it's just a party. Though, if you get a moment then I think you'll find that my sister is exceptional at potions. And I don't mean for a Muggle. She's probably at a seventh year level, though I'm not a potions professor so what would I know?"
"A great deal, I would imagine, Ms. Evans. If your judgment has failed you I'll be terribly disappointed."
Again, I want to make it very clear, in canon, Lily was in the Slug Club because she kicked ass at potions. This is different. Here Potions is the only magic she has, the only connection to her sister's wonderful world that she's able to touch herself. She's better than witch!Lily ever was. Horace Slughorn is so delighted he makes her a member. After some tipsy bickering with the rest of the staff Lily is afterwards invited to all Slug Club functions. She floos in, always with ashes in her hair and a fire in her heart.
It gives her a nickname, the way she comes to the parties. She's called 'Fire Lily'. Every time she arrives it's by flame, she smells of smoke and her hair looks like embers. James is the one who starts it and, after hating it for a few months, she loves it. Magic has given her a new name. She belongs there. No one could ever argue. She doesn't have a house or a wand or any magic of her own but she belongs there because she and Petunia insisted she belonged.
You can't just have someone as pig stubborn and smart as Lily Evans with her opinions and determination and expect she has anything other than absolute willingness to throw down against some Pureblood elitist that calls her out. Without a second of hesitation Lily Evans agrees to duel some racist brat that decided to be a crybaby about her magical status. Literally everyone tries to talk her out of except James who has stars in his eyes and Petunia who is just like, "No, she does this. She's doing this. I can't keep her out so she's going to embarrass me horribly but trying to stop her would be worse."
The duel happens. It’s tense. People have gathered to watch. Lily Evans is holding a wand that someone loaned her. The second the match starts she pitches the useless wood stick at the face of the idiot who ever thought fighting her was anything even approaching a good idea. Without an instant of hesitation she bum rushes her opponent and tackles them, a nasty hex grazing her in the process. Still, by the end, neither of them has a wand and people have to drag her away while she’s still throwing punches and kicks and trying to bite.
Later, in the hospital wing, "Hey, Tuney, I won a duel."
"I don't think we can convince the headmaster to let you try the sorting hat but there's not really a point. You're a Gryffindor."
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Hello! I'm a sophomore and I'm having a huge dilemma with course selections. I would love to take DNA 1 and 2, Adv Marine Biology and Neurobio, but I don't have the space due to Orchestra. I really like Orchestra, but I love love LOVE these other courses. Would it seem like I'm not a "well rounded" student if I dropped Orch for these other classes?I know this sounds shallow af but I immensely enjoy both these courses and it ultimately has to come down to what's going to be the best for my future
Response from Severus:
You can save two of those electives for senior year or you could always take a break from orchestra or do it outside of school. Being a ‘well-rounded student’ depends on all the activities you do. It’s not like colleges have a check box for one sport, one creative activity, etc. Evaluate what else you’re doing outside of school and see what can and can’t take a hit. Also, keep in mind that the scheduler isn't always kind and sometimes classes don’t line up. You wouldn’t be able to take all 4 of those classes this year due to the way the classes were scheduled. If you are only willing to drop orchestra to get each and every one of those classes, then it might not be worth it.
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