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Lord of the Rings but as a Hamilton style musical. I refuse to accept criticism, it would be amazing.

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Am I getting a good grade in tumblr mutual?

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Hobbit music genres:

Cautionary Tale About How Listening to Wizards Will Get You Eaten by A Dragon (But With a Happy Ending Because We Aren't Barbarians)

That Time the Major Ended Up Looking Ridiculous

My Uncle Grew The Biggest Cabbage Ever

Making Fun of Lotho Pimple

Something That Might Have Been a First Age Legend But Went Through Several Fairytales and Is Now Unrecognisable

Something That Might Have Been a Newer Legend and Is (Only) Somewhat More Recognisable

My Grandma Lost Her Prized Saucer

I Am Not a Poet But the Lass I Love Is Pretty

I Like Spring and Flowers

Fireworks!

We Are Tooks and Gandalf Is Actually Fun

Tooks Are Weird

Bucklanders Are Also Weird And Breelanders Are Weirder

Cautionary Tale Why Boats Are Dangerous

Islands Are Dangerous Too (We Heard One Drowned But We Thankfully Don't Know Any Details So We Made Up a Story About Giant Turtles)

There Might Have Been an Elf in the Wood and We're Not Sure How We Feel About That

Gondor music genres:

My Love Got Killed While He Was in The Army

Let's Lament Lost Numenor

Rousing Patriotic Song

We Still Love The Tale of Beren and Luthien

There Once Was a Mortal Man Who Killed A Dragon and We're Very Proud of This (The Rest of the Story Is Horrible and We Don't Want To Remember It)

Origin Story for the Mysterious Singer By the Sea (Accuracy Level: 2/10 But At Least We Correctly Guessed It's an Elf)

Ithilien Is Occupied By Mordor and This Is Sad

We Will Show Sauron Not To Mess With Us

Drinking Song With Way Too Nice a Melody (A Wandering Minstrel Made It Up and He Might Have Been an Elf)

The King Will Return. One Day.

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here’s a fun animal I saw in Borneo: the mammal!

unlike the rest of us, mammals are endothermic and produce their own body heat—but they’re not birds! it is covered in a thick coat of hair (you guessed it, separate evolutionary origin from feathers) and secretes a fatty liquid from special glands to nurture its larvae. mammals can be found almost worldwide and are highly adaptable. this one was making odd squeaking noises, possibly begging for morsels of food.

here’s another mammal I saw. pretty sure it’s a different species but I’m not an expert on identifying them

fun mammal fact: some are curiously soft to the touch! try palpating the next mammal you see, but please be careful. some may bite!

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Death Note AU where hbomberguy makes a five hour long video about youtuber Light Yagami that's initially completely unrelated to the murders (Light would probably plagiarize or have really unhinged right-wing political takes if he was on youtube)

but halfway through he reveals that while researching he stumbled upon evidence that Light might be behind the Kira murders, and then spends like fourty minutes explaining the concept of a shinigami, an hour explaining how he thinks Light used one to commit murders, and then another hour explaining Light's ideology and why the concept of criminals being inherently evil is flawed

He finishes the video by addressing Light directly and telling him that he (Hbomberguy) had his name legally changed before uploading the video, to something that only he knows, making it impossible for Light to kill him

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I have seen real snow many times since I was small but I went to boarding school where many kids never had and it was wonderful to see them experience it for the first time. "Can we go out in it? Is it safe?" "Ah! It's cold but hot!" "I thought it would be more like sand. It doesn't move like sand at all."

"This is real? I didn't know it would be real!"

"No! From the movies? It hurts to touch, though."

"Woah, woah, no one said my pants would be so wet after. That's not fair. What's your pants? The ugly pants. I want those. You're dry. I want those, what do I tell my parents to send?"

Wonderful and magical to watch kids as old at 18 dart in and out of the weather while giggling like little children just because they'd never seen snow in Senegal or Egypt or whatever snowless land they'd come from. Part of those quotes are remembered from me being 12 years old with cool older kids and I was so proud to teach them snowballs and snow angels and snowmen.

because apparently my friends said its insane I've never seen real snow. trying to prove a point.

please reblog to increase my sample size!!

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Big big There Will Come Soft Rains vibes going on here. It's not the main issue, obviously, but it does chill ones blood to imagine the similarity.

#i personally prefer the veldt where gen a feeds me to lions #grant this may be because before i was an apostate wretch i was taught lions were a glorious death

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here’s to all the weird little girls growing up into even weirder men

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can i get a hell yea if you’re still gonna be wasting your time on this website in 2014

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I would like to relate to you a very odd moment that happened to me. So, I use forearm crutches. it no longer even occurs to me as anything at all out of the ordinary until some genius decides to look at me and yell, "Boy, what day is it?"(which is not even a line addressed to Tiny Tim). I am used to people sometimes commenting, tho, and it's fine as long as I'm not actively being mocked. I was, at first, stunned at the sheer number of adults that will openly jeer at someone using mobility aids. That is not what happened to me this time. Given the general level of interest people sometimes exhibit it wasn't really a surprise that, as I was walking home from work, a very small venerable Indian man stopped me, actually stopped me and asked, "Are you walking or hiking?"

Now, I'm a sporting sort but I do want to get to the train as fast as possible so I just sort of demonstratively swing my legs alternately and offer, "Ah, bum legs, you know? These are my crutches." Because that is far easier than explaining the actual reason behind them. But this man, this man just nods sagely as if I have expounded on this in illuminatory depth and says, "Ah, polio." AND WALKS OFF. LIKE. SIR? SIR? WHAT????

#the reason I use them is I fall down a lot #i've broken multiple bones and have several nasty scars #no diagnosis or anything #my social worker just begged me to please keep using them #so i did #not that my leggies are 100% fine #but i could easily get by with just braces if it weren't for all the falling #interestingly i do not fall down stairs #i fall up stairs #falling up stairs is a wonderful way to see your own actual shinbone #twice #my social worker has a good point #my balance is fine #i just have extremely poor proprioception

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I can’t find it on tumblr and IT CHRISMAS GOD DAMMIT.

MERR CHRISMAS.

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I refuse to justify what I've done here. But I sure did it.

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Going from being an introverted lurker on reddit to trying to post my own stuff here is so wild. I keep typing out a post, deleting it, then retyping because I think it's not good enough but then I look at other posts and why am I so worried?

It's like I'm at a fancy Italian restaurant and keep glancing around the room to see which hand people use to pick up the forks. But then I realize that everyone is shoveling spaghetti into their mouths using their bare hands and I'm like ah okay so I'm clearly overthinking this

#my people

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Zepotha will never be Goncharov because when it comes down to it, tumblr culture is collaborative, while tiktok culture is merely iterative, and those are not the same thing.

#i know i'm an old man yelling at clouds here but #it's the artificiality of it that makes it no fun for me #no one made goncharov #it simply occurred #this idiot hasn't heard of goncharov #and then it became #there was no push or drive to invent a fake scorsese film #it was the simple joy of fuckery and invention #it was the glory of 'yes and-'