#self-centered behavior

[alwaysbewoke]

a LOT of ladies failing this test. A LOT!!!

#dating strategy #accountability test #relationship compatibility #past relationship inquiries #screening potential partners #toxic traits #self-centered behavior #red flags #dating criteria #partner evaluation #relationship values

[dangans-ur-ronpas]

every shuro/toshiro hater who claims that toshiro loves falin for the same traits he hates in laios should venmo me 200 dollars immediately

#dungeon meshi #this really is the reading comprehension website i keep forgeting #listen. listen. falin went to school. lived with her family. longer than laios did. do you know why autism is diagnosed less in girls? #not clear to anime-onlys but laios ran away from home at like 13. to join an army. and then was sort of free-wheeling for a while #falin went to school where she made friends learned went to town etc etc #falin was NOT exhibiting the same behaviors as laios are you kidding me. she was conditioned to mask those behaviors #one of her main character traits is that she's self-sacrificing!! that's like her whole thing!!! #im not even gonna go into asian culture and social etiquette bc clearly tumblr's white dunmeshi fans cant handle it #'sometimes...ppl from different countries.....act different? think different??' the western hemisphere is not the center of civilization!!!

[writterings]

procastinating at work but here's my philosophy for today: it's okay to hate a behavior in someone else but also understand that this behavior does not make them a bad person. like i HATE when i'm venting or talking about a serious problem i have and then the person i'm talking to starts trying to relate by talking about a similar experience they've had. like absolutely hate it. make me feel like the focus is being taken off me and it genuinely is in some ways, regardless of your intent. yeah, i understand that's your way of trying to comfort me -- but that's not the way i need or want to be comforted, and that's what matters in a situation where i'm coming to you to be helped.

and that's okay! like. no one is in the wrong here unless i have explicitly asked you to support me in a different way and you're intentionally refusing, or if i lash out at you when i could just disengage. it just means you're not a person i should go to for help when talking about my problems. we can still be friends, you and i can probably support each other in different ways, but we're just incompatible in this regard. and that's like....okay. it's okay to be incompatible with people.

#i need to stop going on instagram sooooo many hot takes on there piss me the fuck off #ok going on a rant here but like. #soooo many 'neurodivergent' posters on there are like 'neurotypicals suck bc they dont realize im being comforting when i talk abt myself #when they're upset!!!' and its like my friend i can understand your plight but like #1. this is an easily changable behavior #that tbh does not require much change on your part aside from just like. not talking. #2. the so-called neurotypicals in ur life are allowed to have boundaries and accomodations to their needs and ur currently not doing that #3. not every neurodivergent person does that. and some also hate it like the so called neurotypicals. #4. why are you prioritizing your emotions when a loved one comes to you for help or comfort. are u just a dick. #this has nothing to do with you being neurodivergent i think you're just self centered lol #like genuinely if you do this you are not a bad person. it's not a bad thing. i thinnk im just mad at the people who insist #that it's the only way they can ever try to comfort someone and they act like asking them to change this behavior is ableist #and if they genuinely can't change this behavior then fine!! like they i wont go to you with my problems #and that's also fine #but yeah anyways these tags are so different from the message of the post lol but anyways just needed to rant

[stonersolana]

it's always so funny when someone "acknowledges" your disabilities but when those disabilities actually, you know, disable/impact parts of your life then they act as if the disability couldn't POSSIBLY be the problem and you're just bringing it up as an excuse

and by funny i mean it makes me want to powerdrill my own teeth

#sunbun speaks #like yes i am currently sitting down and eating instead of washing dishes #i need rest so i can keep the pain down and i barely eat so what do you want me to do? #I'm sorry i didn't pick up on whatever hidden message your words had in them and now it's awkward - yes it's the autism #like... if the symptom or behavior is obviously connected to a source but you don't take it into account then what do you want? #there's a difference between someone harming you and someone just not understanding what you meant #because their brain shits the bed in those situations no matter how much i work on it #like i take other's situations into account when i consider their words/actions because I'm not a self-centered prick #like I'm not doing this on purpose and I'm trying my best but i can't keep pushing myself past burnout #for people who don't even consider my struggles valid

[apelcini]

it always feels strange saying that i had a shitty childhood because like. i did. but whenever i phrase it like that people always assume parental abuse or neglect and then i have to be like “oh no my parents were great it was just literally every other influence in my life that sucked” and we all just sit there silently for a minute while they freak out about accusing my parents of emotional neglect and i freak out because i said more than an off handed joke about my shitty childhood which is much too vulnerable and none of us enjoy it. so like what am i supposed to say then

#is there a word for i had my needs collectively abused neglected and/or misunderstood by every adult in my childhood to the point of #maladaptive behavioral patterns from my trauma that still affect my relationships to this day #it was a lot of ableism but there was also general lack of regarding children as people and also misogyny and homophobia #and just generally people being selfish and self centered and not caring about each other under capitalism #antisemitism is. a hard one to gauge for my area. lots of racial diversity but very few jews. lotta korean christians and other #demographics who have. very different behavioral values than my new york jewish family lol #yknow what actually. not gonna get into it at 3 am. that’s what you can call hashtag selfcare

[bethrnoora]

joyce summers you are pissing me tf off

#sorry. we're at the tail end of buffy season 2 and she's been on my nerves this whole fckin season #like I GET being worried and feeling like buffy is closing her off but at every turn to make buffy feel comfortable in opening up #she's written as a total self centered idiot instead. typical mom behavior tho I guess

[llycaons]

in the identity shenanigans one they're on their phones two-way communication talismans every night talking and wwx just wrote lwj THE sappiest letter and I know wwx is a romantic but he's more repressed than that I think!

#my biggest issue w wwx in this one is that his romantic arc is entirely disconnected from his morality #he does bad things and apologizes but I just don't think he would act this dishonorably in the first place #esp in cql his moral compass is strong enough that as an adult it factors into every one of his relationships #and every one of his interactions with others ESPECIALLY lwj's #but it seems like both their moral backbones are irrelevant #making wwx out to be this cheap whiny and self-centered overdramatic liar #who uses sappy language to cover for his shitty behavior #lwj isn't so bad but he seems very...simple. canon lwj has a very strong personality and strict behavior control #this guy is such a flip-flopper. and way too open about his emotions for an lwj so young #ficblogging

[slippery-minghus]

hmm. had an actual conversation with nightmare coworker today that seemed mutually productive. she apologized for saying some bullshit that hurt my feelings and i clarified that my intentions are to help not to undermine her, and we both agreed that there's no competition against each other and that it's the lack of growth in our role that's the problem. it was...productive.

and further cementing for me that it is time to begin making my Exit. i will be sending out my resume to a few places this weekend.

i'm still processing the conversation, and am struggling to place myself in where i am responsible to better my behavior. because i genuinely don't want to be an ass, even though i really don't like this lady and will jump for joy the day i never have to see her again. she stated that she knows my intentions aren't to hurt her, and that she thinks i'm very kind. i apologized for if my behavior came off as undermining her, and said that my intentions are only to better my own growth—and that i know she's trying to succeed too. i validated her feelings, and complemented the effort she is putting in.

where i'm struggling with is: am i in the wrong/causing harm and needing to change if the issue is that her feelings are incongruent with what she knows of my intentions? her feelings are her responsibility (WOW i almost typed "her feelings are my responsibility". i feel like that's a freudian slip) and she states that she knows i don't mean to hurt her. i'm going to try to be more clear in wording my intentions with her (she feels like me trying to take work off her plate is to undermine her. when really, i'm caught up and see her getting overwhelmed, and i want to help and also have something to do since i'm bored).

but i'm really struggling to look at my role in this and pass judgement on myself. i can and want to do better, and i don't think i did anything wrong, but i'm always so hesitant to say it's not my fault or i didn't do something bad. like i can't trust my judgement on that. my intentions were good, her bad feelings are ones caused by her insecurities, which she more or less has expressed to be aware that they are not true—the hurtful thing she said to me, she acknowledged was said out of hurt and not what she actually thinks. so, is it fair to say i'm not the bad guy? i'm not in the wrong? i know good intentions that still result in harm don't absolve anyone, but when the things that are clashing are insufficient communication and reactive insecurities... i'm not a monster, am i?

#well. i AM probably a monster for how much i dislike this lady #but i don't ACT on it #and i genuinely couldn't care less about her. i participate in decent human pleasantries because i am a decent human. #and at work we're stuck together #the thing that's irked me so much about this conversation is just.. her self centeredness #that she thinks everyone is out to get her. to undermine her. whatever. #bitch nobody cares about you enough one way or the other to put in that kind of effort. i sure don't #i empathize but i do not sympathize. to feel that pit that makes you feel like the worst kind of center of attention #i get it. but genuinely you are not the main character and no one is going to spend their limited time and energy to slowly attack you #you are not the cat with all the knives pointed at it #it's a terrible feeling to feel like you are! but when it influences your behavior to the point that you are making snide comments #to people who have no option not to interact with you then uh. then you're in the wrong buddy #and the people around you (who cannot easily leave! bc work!) should not have to bend over backwards to assure you #that they're not pointing knives at you. to protect themselves from your feelings making you say mean shit #like yes. i can be more clear with my intentions. i'm generally not the greatest at that. but my baseline that i want to #modify my behavior from is NOT one that a regular well adjusted person would take as anything but kind #and if a regular well adjusted person got a little offput by me volunteering to take work off their hands we would've had a very chill #3 sentence conversation about it MONTHS AGO. #i understand and respect (even if i find it annoying and overbearing) the need for me to announce my intentions like im working in a kitchen #and saying 'hot water' or 'knife' as i move around other people but we shouldn't have reached this conclusion this way #and frankly who's to fucking say me being more clear with my intentions will only feed the flames of her thinking i'm out to get her! #'i caught up on my stuff and your plate looks full. i'm bored. anything i can do to help?' could be a pointed knife for all i know!! #and if it is- and my actions still hurt her in that scenario- am i still responsible for the hurt caused?? #like WHERE DOES IT FUCKING E N D ? #personal #*exhales* okay i feel better now #i just hate talking about my interactions with her bc i just want NOTHING to do with it. i want her out of my head!! #but until i process it i can't let go #and i'm still going to have to go over all of this with my shrink tomorrow #it just makes me mad how much of my time this bitch takes up. i'm not getting paid to think about work right now!!!!

[t-u-i-t-c]

get him!!!

#he was so real for this like deserved #man it's literally your own fault you're not married maybe if you weren't awful to women and cared about anyone other than yourself you'd #be married self-reflect make changes and grow to be kind to your partner and have some care before you try again #canalo says he was like this guy but like this guy is like 100x worse like canalo was self-centered but this guy literally created a #minusaur that only blinded women bc he couldn't handle not being able to marry even though he's 'high performance' #such loser behavior like canalo never blamed women for turning him down like it was what is was and while he didn't always get it it was ok #ryusoulger rewatch lb #super sentai lb #umbrella.thoughts #umbrella.posts

[gendercriticalthinking]

The way that my friend felt disappointed when he found out as a kid that an androgynous character he idolized was a woman because he quote "couldn't relate to the character anymore" and the way that the creator of Celeste """discovered he was non-binary""" because he wrote a female character that he was able to relate to are branches off of the same vein of misogyny I think

#gender critical #misogyny #it's all about the often-subconscious belief that women are subhuman or at least inherently lesser than men for being different from them #for the first dude: literally every woman on earth who consumes media relates to so fucking many male characters. they are our favorites. #some of them are so beloved by us that we believe we must actually be men because we can relate so hard to them. i went through this myself #(which is kind of what's going on with the second dude but i'll get to that) #yet for some reason a lot of men have a hard time relating to female characters in any way similar at all. there are zero men writing #obsessive (affectionate) thoughtful intelligent analyses of their favorite female charas' arcs and symbolism #(in part because so few media have any well-written and actually-humanized female charas to be able to do that with but also...) #because men see women as possibly-human fuck toys for them and nothing else #so when even self-proclaimed/usually feminist men relate to a female character outside of 'i want to fuck this' it makes them feel weird #bc male sexuality (this includes osa men i'm sorry to say but i've observed so many men like an anthropologist i see the same behavior #in all of them) is so centered around humilation/domination/aggression that it's not compatible with compassion/empathy #so for them to relate to a female (character or person) they get this weird-feeling psychological thing kinda similar to that joke of #'if you punch yourself and it hurts are you weak or strong?' but in this case it's 'if you relate to a sex object should you start thinking #you're also a sex object or should you let go of your momentary empathy for the sex object?' #and dude no. 1 took the latter path while dude no. 2 took the former #well in a way. his thing is more like 'if i am a human (bc i'm a man) and i can relate to a woman... does that mean women are human #or does it mean i am a woman?' and he picked the second route #i know agp vs hsts is (was?) the main grouping system radfems use(d?) to explain the different types of tims #and to some extent those labels do work especially since they're centered around sexuality which plays a huge role in trans identities #but i feel like it's either more accurate to just use the following labels or at least add them into the venn diagram: #some tims are trans because they see women as sex toys and enjoy the thought of being a sex toy themselves therefore they want to be women #while other tims are trans because they've othered the sex-object class of humans so hard that if they ever accidentally relate to a woman #it's a mindblowing discovery and makes them part of The Other (women are still of course treated as The Other for this to work) and #therefore super special (and of course more special than women because they're sex objects + The Other whereas #he is a man aka a human + The Other. this is especially true when men decide they're nb like guy no. 2 as opposed to trans women because #again women = sex toy to men so any men who do not want to be objectified are a different kind of Other to women [which to them consists of #females and trans women] but they still are The Other in some way and therefore must be both a man [human] and something else) #these concepts appeal to both osa and ssa men depending on what level/flavor of misogyny they cling to most and how gnc they are

[jaymber]

Johnny has NPD headcanon my beloved <3

#cyberpunk 2077 #johnny silverhand #yeah yeah all hcs for a character's behavior are valid #just got tired of the johnny's evil cause he's self-centered/has no empathy/lies about how importance he is posts #just needed to vent

[captainofthetidesbreath]

.

#Seeing a weirdass take about Chetney not being a team player in a way reminiscent of like classic toxic d&d bros is so weird #It does acknowledge that Travis himself is a generous player but Chetney is selfish and not working with the team #And it's so weird to me because a) Chetney isn't any less cooperative than any other member of the team #(he's actually MORE cooperative than Nott and Caleb were for a very long time) #And b) I feel like it ignores Chetney is actually rather responsive and aware of the others and is eager to work with them when required #Refusing to tell the others he had the money but pays for most of their shit #and going off to scout or capitalize on opportunity but communicating poorly about it #and going off on his own to run dicey personal errands he doesn't want the others entangled in #those aren't like at all similar to things that are selfish or similar to classic toxic d&d table behaviors #So I'm very ????? about the take Chetney isn't a team player in ways reminiscent of specific d&d toxicity (even as Travis remains generous) #Chetney is cagey and defensive but he almost DESPERATELY wants to be part of the group as much as he is wary of them #It's honestly insane imo and overlooks the entire context of Chet and willfully ignores when he is generous; thoughtful; and cooperative #Like Chetney isn't hiding the money for himself because he spends a lot of it for the party. He goes off on his own for the party's uses. #He hasn't done anything multiple other characters haven't done so ??? #Why is this take trying to act like Chetney is more selfish or self-centered or toxic or less of a team player than anyone else #Idk idk I might revisit this in more whisper tags when I'm not typing on mobile from bed and discussed this with The Board (friends in DMs) #Critical Role things #CR spoilers #also maybe I think that characters are allowed to be selfish

[gh0uist]

I need to get off the internet cuz im seeing a little too much lgbt discourse

#theghouistpublicdiary #other queer people are not your enemy holy hell #god can we get indisputable rights before doing the classic thing of #getting mad at teenage “girls” #in general IDFC WHAT TEENS ARE DOING WITH THEIR GENDER IDENTITY #THEYRE KIDS. THEY ARE FIGURING SHIT OUT #just cuz they got a pussy or whatever yall act so weird #they're are BEHAVIORS that are an issue with a lot of these young queers #Centering themselves and self victimization #speaking over other people when they shouldn't #but goddamn at least they won't be silenced #it's their blessing and their curse

[vitasexualiiis]

i wonder if there is literally ANY significance in having ranpo eat like 20 bowls of mori's favorite food in untold story as a way to show he's self-centered???

this may be very pepe silvia of me, but it really does make me wonder if this is a reflection of fukuzawa's worry that if left to his own devices, ranpo would turn to a life of organized crime.

#bsd meta #ranpo #mori #vita.txt #mori and ranpo sharing a favorite food my beloved #fukuzawa really knows how to pick 'em #and before anyones like “wah wah ranpo isn't self-centered he's a traumatized homeless starving orphan” #1. well yeah and 2. the little shit left the fuckin mochi....AND also he's being a self-centered little bastard the whole time! #both things can be true! #i still think his behavior is a combination of the fact that he's extremely done trying to mask and also that he's testing fukuzawa #to see what he can get away with. because he KNOWS he belongs to the old man now.

[silverjetsystm]

Yosl Ber / A Patriot - Daniel Kahn, The Painted Bird

"Yes my name is Yosl Ber & I serve the militar' Ya dai dai dai dai dai Steel-toed boots, a uniform Keep this soldier's carcass warm Ya dai dai dai dai dai I used to work in a factory 'til the army drafted me Ya dai dai dai dai dai Now I work for army brass Factory can kiss my ass Ya dai dai dai dai dai Yosl Ber Serves the militar' Yosl Yosl Yosl Ber Serves the militar' Every night I hit the town All you ladies gather 'round Ya dai dai dai dai dai Gimme brandy, gimme wine Gimme something else that's fine Ya dai dai dai dai dai"

From Genius: "Yosl Ber is a traditional Yiddish song covered by Daniel Kahn with his own translation of the original song. The story of the song is of a man named Yosl (Joseph) who leaves the factory (apprentice to a cobbler in other versions of the song such as Itzik Manger’s) to join the military. He delights in the transformation of his life from the mundane to a position of privilege and power, and his new finery, appeal to woman and alcohol."

The Genius notes compare the original translation to Kahn's, which adds additional context and modernization.

#playlist #wild dog days #//not that marc was drafted #//cue Jake sarcastically singing #//re marc's self-centered behavior #//and excess now he's leaving his dull life behind #Spotify

[llycaons]

hate this tag it’s so biased

#I'M done with jc's shit quite frankly! #I just know ppl who tag like this consider wwx saving dozens of innocent people as being being a self-centered asshole with a savior complex #or smugly assert that all of jc's )canonically ill-informed and biased) judgements about how stupid wwx is are correct #and overlook all of jc's hideous behavior #ficblogging