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so2collection · 9 months

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Star Ocean: Blue Sphere Beginner’s Guide

Introduction: I've been on a bit of a Star Ocean kick lately, and thought I'd take my hand at writing a Blue Sphere "Tips for Beginners!" type guide (based on the English ROM translation)... With Second Story R coming out soon, I figure that more people will be interested in Blue Sphere, too.

I hope my experience and the tips here help you on your adventure!

I played the game once before, but the save data was on an old computer... I want to add it to a list of titles I've completed!

Read more advice/tips under the cut! I’ll provide general tips on how to learn things, what characters to use, Private Actions, and other things! :)

Which characters to use? To start, you can pick your roster out of a few characters. Generally, Dias and Chisato are the best fighters. Precis excels at Item Creation. You'll want Celine if you plan to play late/post-game content.

However, for the first section I recommend taking Ashton. He is also a good fighter and I hear he's easy to combo with. If you've read interviews with the devs, they recommend Ashton and Precis as the game was originally made around them and one other character (they forgot) but eventually added everyone due to popularity. :)

Anyway, I recommend Ashton because he learns Cooking the fastest of anyone, according to seiju-info, a website I will have to reference often due to the lack of English resources. I'll also reference GameFAQs. You'll want cooking early on and you can buy a frying pan in the first town. Fol is very difficult to get in this game as you only earn SP from battles, no cash. I'll explain this more in depth later.

For a dungeon walkthrough, I found this GameFAQs guide useful

If you can, also use the maps on GameFAQs or purchase your own copy of the Star Ocean: Blue Sphere Final Guide. It has full-color maps, but is fully in Japanese. Still, I found it useful, especially in the dungeons. According to the devs, the dungeons got a lot of 'feedback' from fans... and for good reason. They're kind of long and annoying lol but if you're a Star Ocean fan, especially of 2, I think you should give this title a shot. It was made to bridge the wait for Star Ocean 3, but I'm using it as a bridge between my playthrough of Second Story I recently finished again and the remake... :)

I’m not learning new moves / spells?

If you're wondering why certain characters aren't gaining new moves, it's probably one of the following: you aren't making combos, you're levelling the wrong Skill section, for mages you aren't using a variety of spells, or you haven't created their moves through Machinery. These are specific to each character. For my party of Dias, Precis, and Celine... (Dias: combos, Precis: machinery, Celine: the right skill tree / learning the lost magic skill).

I can say at the beginning of this, I don't understand how the skill trees work at all. Just level the 2 the character is good at (Dias is Sense and Battle for example). This is important because if you leveled Dias in Knowledge, it would block off Battle if you raise Sense too high.

Technology VS Sense and Battle VS Knowledge

So, for Dias, we would level Sense (so you get Psychometry to get his ultimate skills with combos), Battle, then put any points into one of the others.

Celine needs to have certain stats met and use a spell x number of times to "spark" the next spell. For her ultimate spells, she needs to level Knowledge for Lost Magic. However, if you want her to have the highest INT and forego her final spell (which isn’t worth the increase from Boost) look at Technical instead.

Mages won't learn new magic using spells on their own, you must control them / spam specific spells, so it's good to use low level enemies to learn new spells.

Item Creation tips

That's why it's good to have some reserve characters for Item Creation, such as Ashton for Cooking. Why Ashton? Well, he learns it the quickest. There really aren't any charts availible for this, but each character unlocks different skills as you level them; it is not like the original game where you get to choose. He learns the 3 skills required the fastest by unlocking them the earliest.

Think of it this way: pick 3-4 of the characters to use in battle and use the rest for only Item Creation! Because of the teleport function, it’s easy to switch them out.

Each Item Creation skill has a mini-game involved. It only uses the directional buttons and you can master the quickest/best way to do them easily. Cooking, with the Frying Pan for example, is right (short time), left (short time), right (long time) as you “flip” the ingredients. You don’t want them to burn or spill. I’ll go more in-depth with these as I unlock them myself.

Celine is one of the best characters to learn Alchemy. We will need it towards the end to make the elusive Blue Sphere for ultimate weapons.

Private Actions - How To?

Private Actions are few in this game and require very specific character conditions! If a PA says “OUT” that character must NOT be in the active party. If it says IN, they must be in the active party.

They also can happen pretty much anywhere: in towns, dungeons, ect.

How to play? General strategy?

To switch characters in battle, use Select.

To use items in battle, press Start.

To defend in battle, press the down arrow.

Break objects (tables, chairs, some plants) to sometimes find items.

If an enemy is too tough or blocking a path (that isn't a boss) you can attempt to run by moving to the far right of the screen. If you fail, your character runs out of their hidden stamina stat for awhile. If you win, the enemy disappears and you can snag any treasure / move on with ease.

PA's don't have any indicator. It's like talking to your comrades around a town and everything, but it feels more like an NPC interaction than a traditional Star Ocean PA. Because of the character IN/OUT (of active party) requirements, they can be easy to miss.

Forest / Crash Site

Bowman is also useful until you get to the Scout Village (Herb Gathering on the candy cane striped plants). To gather some herbs and to view Bowman's PA, exit Scout village and cut down the bush to the left. There will be a path where you can see the long-leaf stripey plants that Bowman can harvest. If he's not in the party, talk to him and initiate the PA.

Private Action - Forest / Crash Site - Bowman (OUT) - Bowman gives you herbs.

Bowman references the Metox, saying it's a very powerful herb :p

Scout Village

Private Action - Scout Village - Precis (OUT) - Precis is looking for parts to repair the ship.

Sometime during the Mile Ruins (maybe before?), if you have an herb, one will randomly be selected if you talk to the boy near the entrance of Scout Village. You will get a Kitchen Knife (used for Cooking) in exchange.

Fuck this NPC in particular. Get the Hell out of the way, bro!!

Mile Ruins

Finish the Mile Ruins. Don't forget to use the bomb on the crack in the wall to turn the elevators back on, especially to visit the 6th floor for some good items like earrings for Celine. There are other areas that require the Pull Field Skill and Precis' Hover, so you'll have to come back later on for the other items.

Vending Machine 1st Floor - Give it a lighter touch to get a useless but one-of-a-kind ??? Jam you can’t get anywhere else.

Check drawers for items and fol!

When you get out, go to the shops in the back of town. The left shop should have a discount, so buy some blueberries and a Frying Pan. Also buy Meat. Level up Ashton in Knowledge, Sense, and Tech until he learns the 3 skills for Cooking (Good Eye, Recipe, and he should start with Kitchen Knife) (If you're having trouble selling items, remember to scroll right to sell from other item categories; took me a little time to figure out. For the mini-game, gently move left to right and try to aim for the flipping food, because if you drop it it takes time which lowers your overall score. Try to aim for over 100.) If you can't afford meat to make steak, I highly recommend using the vegetables (which she usually has one sale, too!) to make Twice Cooked Pork and Amazing Vegetable Stir Fry, which also sells for a lot of Fol.

The shop on the left has Bombs if you need them (you'll need at least 1 to clear the path on the lower right of town). He will also give you the Bunny Comm.

There's a PA we can do. Ashton IN, Dias OUT. Kick out Dias and grab Precis and we can use her Pull ability to get some of the items we missed.

Private Action - Mile Ruins - Ashton (IN) / Dias (OUT) - The two reflect on their swordsmanship. Particularly, that weakness comes with aging. This also opens up another PA later in the game.

If you also teach Precis Machinery, you can learn Hover by making a Nuclear Jet. I think Machinery needs to be at level 5 to learn it. Don't bother learning it now, though, as we can't buy any soldering irons...

Rupart Jungle

Before you descend into the jungle you can trigger a fight with a Baboon. He's a little difficult but he gives a whopping 20 SP per fight and is a good spot to grind up characters if you need to. Just heal for free at the ship or the old man with the kid's house and save before fighting it each time. I did this 3-4 times just to have some extra SP handy (and it should be enough to teach Precis Machinery Lv 5, but again, no soldering iron yet...) You may want to invest it in Dias Sense skills instead. I've been leveling Celine's Knowledge, since that's what she needs to max out first. In one fight Dias and Precis were dead and I used Firebolt, which sparked Celine's Starlight spell! She also has Bless and I don't think she started with it, but I'm not sure when I learned it.

Spell - Starlight - Celine - Requires: Monstrology Learned, Use Firebolt in battle

A lot of enemies in Rupart Jungle are difficult, but save often and you'll manage. Once you talk to the guys about the permit for the two ruins, continue to Ava City. We can finally buy a soldering iron here, so you can have Precis learn Machinery lv 5 and then score around 200 points and create the item (save scumming is recommended...). Make sure to restock any items you need. Do some cooking and upgrade your equipment, too.

Garp Ruins

In the Garp ruins I used Dias, Ashton *required for his Fire Breath field action, and Noel. Some of the enemies are tough. You'll also want to bring a few bombs, mostly for the room behind the boss.

After the ruins I leveled Precis' Machinery to 6... It makes the soldering iron faster in the mini-game, the higher the level... but after two hours I still can't manage to get Hover (I barely score 110 points most of the time, because the iron is so wobbly...) On the bright side I made some money and got a lot of Opera's KMs, so that will be nice when I get her.

Note: I did give it one last shot, and wouldn't you know, I got the Hover ability... I didn't even score that high of points, so I'm confused? I did learn that the farther away a node is / more diagonal it is, the more points you earn, so perhaps it's advantageous to wait for further/diagonal nodes? I wish you luck obtaining the Nuclear Jet for Hover! I'll make a short trip back to the Mile Ruins and Garp Ruins and get items I missed, then go return to Ava City and talk to the Jabba the Hut Man again lol

We finally see a little plot in this game...!

Leviabor Ruins (First Trip)

The Leviabor Ruins sucked. I think everyone knows that lol I used Dias, Precis, and Celine but I highly recommend bringing Noel instead. Celine learned Energy Arrows, though, which helped a bit! I only did the required floors for the time being and I've been focusing on maxing out each characters main skill branch for now.

I sold a bunch of Gold ingots for like 8k Fol... IDK if I'll need any later (I'm sure they can be made with Alchemy) but I didn't feel like putting athritis-hands through the riggamaroll of Cooking.

Spell - Wind Blade - Celine - Requires: INT 12, Use Firebolt in battle Spell - Energy Arrows - Celine - Requires: MP 160+ / Resistance learned, Use Starlight in battle

Speaking of, I haven't learned any new KMs for Dias. I can't combo at all. I couldn't even combo with Ashton, who is supposedly the easiest... so yeah, late game is gonna be rough.

Ava City (After free from prison)

Remember the girl you saved and got sent to Leviabor prison for? If you talk to her boyfriend, he gives you an item based o what console you are playing on (Gameboy gives a Might Chain... Gameboy Color gives a ???. I'm using Gameboy Advance emulator, so I got a Lunar Talisman)

Yay, Ernest! I guess... I probably won't use him...

I kind of forgot about PAs, so here's some I did to take a break before the Gravis Forest. I remember my last playthrough I did this forest on the Super Gameboy and yeah... you thought it was bad in color. It's ten times worse when its limited to like, 2 colors... a monotone mess. If I didn't have the strategy guides I'd never get through it.

Private Action - Ava City - Bowman (IN) / Celine (OUT) - Bowman has a daughter! And her name is Erys! :o Notes: If done before recruiting Opera, you get this PA. If after, an Opera PA occurs instead. You can't get both according to the guide I'm looking at. Apparently this PA leads to more rare items late game as it unlocks a PA later.

Private Action - Ava City - Chisato (IN) / Celine (OUT) - Chisato helps the girl on the west side of town find a job to support the girl’s brothers. Unlocks a hidden shop. The secret weapon shop (below) has decent upgrades!

Go through Gravis Forest until you find the hideout, then talk to the soldier on the west side and show him the permit you got in Ava.

Gravis Forest Part 1

Follow the beetles

Look for the old man

Use a map

If you can combo, this place might be pretty easy. I can't get past 2 hits, so I focused on my mages and spamming Dias' basic attack to keep the apes in the second section from decimating my party...

Celine learned Curse during my time in the forest. Spell - Curse - Celine - Requires Fairyology - Spark with Firebolt

Spell - Bless - Celine- Start (I had her spark this, I swear... but the guide says she starts with it...)

Also, I don't really use Noel, but he learned a ton of spells including Dispel, which is very handy when you get confused by the beetles.

Spell - Dispel - Noel - Start (Oh, I didn’t notice...) Spell - Silence - Noel - Start (Really? I guess I was looking under Magic and not Technique...)

Apparently he starts with Bless, too? IDK

Hideout

In the hideout, it will be registered to your teleporter, so if you want to switch some characters around, go for it. There's an inn and a shop in the hideout as well, so restock and move on through part 2.

Gravis Forest Part 2

For the gorilla boss, Dias had HP around 450+ and I let him take hits because I can't combo to stop the arm spin. Try to use the Up+B combo to "kill" the arms first, if you can. When you're back at the hideout again, talk to the guy out front to heal and then save. The boss, Atlas, died with one shot of Celine's Thunderbolt... sure is nice to see anything do damage in this game. You'll be healed and sent to he Slave Village. Save again and prepare for another boss... Three of Celine's Thunderbolts took it out. :)

Slave Village

Private Action - Slave Village - Precis (OUT) That PA in Slave City with Precis should be open. Noel asks Precis what's the matter and offers her one of Chisato's snacks to cheer her up :) When that doesn't work, Noel starts calling a doctor (Bowman) for her. Precis finally spills her worries, about a friend named Latry (Razzly maybe?) who might forget... to record Precis' soap opera... Noel is not amused.

After the events on your second trip to Slave Village, you open a new path to Nusa Beach. On the far left you can flip some switches to make a shortcut back to the ship... for some reason, I guess.

We have some optional dungeons to do for now, so return to the ship/restock/ect.

Remember those soldiers outside Ava City blocking that dungeon? We can go now.

Ralph Ruins - Optional

Be careful where you step, it's similar to Gravis and that you can fall easily.

The wires on the lower levels seem impassable; all you need is someone with the Jump field action.

I recommend bringing Precis with Hover so you can reach some treasure and also not fall as often. This is especially useful for the conveyor belts just like in Leviabor. All I can say is just gather as many batteries as you can and on the basement level, look for a generator near a red snake in the bottom left of the overall map that says something like "activates elevator movement". Head as high as you can on the elevators and then all the way left you'll see the crab boss. You have to live long enough, but 3 Thunderbolts takes him out easily. *update note about Precis in conveyors in Leviabor.

Behind the boss is a treasure with the first of 10 Rings we need for the Cave of Trials. Although I'm not planning to do them... but we did miss one in Garvis forest. If you want, go back and get it now (look for unusual, square hole right of the entrance to the forest). If I have time, I’ll add a guide at the end for the rings and how to open the last dungeon (as well as Celine’s Telelport).

Crane Ruins - Optional

BRING A FULL STOCK OF BOMBS, you'll need them!

I highly recommend anytime you need to restock go to Scout village, because they often have sales on Blueberries and food ingredients. Plus, the bomb shop is right next to the item shop.

Crane Ruins are located south of Ava City (if you hit Slave Village you went too far, you need to go south, slightly east, south, and east again). Unfortunetly you need Precis (and a guide I saw recommended Ashton) for this dungeon, so you'll probably go with Dias, Ashton, and Precis... You could manage with Dias, Precis, and Noel, too. Celine is helpful for the machines and crabs, so if you don't need a healer, take her instead.

If you did that PA back in Mile Ruins, there's another with Ashton and Dias on the generator floor of the Crane Ruins. It's a shame you need Dias out, because you'll likely have to complete the dungeon and then return without him to see it. Luckily, it isn't too much of a feat.

Most of the enemies are easy here, except for the big rats. Try to avoid them and if you can't, use KMs if you have them or run.

The upper floors have blocks you have to move onto buttons. Make < style arrows with them in the direction of doors you want open on that floor. When you get Floor 2 and 3, you can combine them to move say, > right and ^ up, but there's just some treasure here. Your goal is B1. You'll need Swim/Dive and Hover makes it easier. Collect the treasure by hovering to all the platforms and then take it section by section and dive for treasure. If you activate the generators on the bottom floor, you can also open up stairs to a boss. I tried a few times but Dias wasn't even scratching him, so I gave up for now. I'll come back to that ugly green bastard later.

Ocean Cave (Nusa Beach) - Optional

The final optional dungeon (Ocean Cave) is in Nusa Beach (go South as far as you can, if you got to Vanis city you didn't go far enough; look for the barnacles) and you need Swim/Dive to complete that, so chances are you'll be taking Precis then. I did check and other characters can learn it, but not as easy (well, Dias at least) but I'll just drag Precis along... I'm gonna gripe about it in my review, but it really sucks how you're forced to carry around Precis as an HM slave, since she sucks so much in battle. 99% of the time she's just dead in fights because it isn't worth the 5 blueberries to heal her. I think if they ever remake this game, there should be some sort of machine to carry around the abilities instead, so you don't waste a slot. Or, even better, a way to switch characters from the ship to your active party in dungeons... It would increase your options and this game is all about not giving you any options. For example, combos being the only way to give fighters more KMs is bad design. Not that they would have MP to use them anyway, because the ideal way to level them gives no MP increases... Just... bad design.

This is how an average fight is going for me. Fun! :(

I'm ranting a lot at this point because this Ocean Cave was my third dungeon that day and I was just burnt out and exhausted of enemies that take 5 minutes to kill, keep respawning, ect. Even with a map, knowing what to do is confusing. I went and found a lever I couldn't flip and a door that needs the lever to open? But then I read in the guide you need a keycard.... So this morning, that's where I'm at. Bored, tired, and I just want the game to give me a break.

The Ocean Cave is added into the teleporter, so feel free to leave/return for supplies if you need to. I decided to go back, use some SP, and experiment with Smithing. Longsword + Meteorite (50 Point Score) should make a stronger sword, but we don't have Meteorite. *sigh* So my thought process was, well, I'm taking damage, so maybe I'll make better armor.

Enchantment Use the chart on this site to determine the Armor latent value.

How it works: Armor + Source = Better Armor. Each Armor has a set amount of points needed to make it based on the formula below. I'll use the example the guide provided me. Formula: Armor Latent Points + Score Divided by 2 = Total Score (The Total Score determines what you get) Magic Resist Armor (35 latent points) + Score of 27 or higher Divided by 2 = 31 Total Score = Resist Armor possible.

I want to make a Duel Suit, as it's one of the best armors... So I used: Resist Armor (25) + Score of 125 or more = 150 Divided by 2 = 75 Total Score in theory should get a Duel Suit... (Note: I couldn’t get the score high enough, so no... I think I need Titania Source and max level for Enchantment...)

I'm not entirely clear how Sources play into the calculation, but they seem to provide some sort of bonus when scoring points? So, save scum and use rare Sources to easily create high level armor. (High level sources: Elf, Dark Elf, Titania)

I tried for a little while, but the two just kept swapping between Resist/Magic armor. I think I need Celine's Enchantment level higher (it's only 4) to make the mini-game easier, so we may as well get back to the dungeon and get some SP for that.

Back at the Ocean Cave... The keycard we need is on the third floor. Try to hang left for most of the time and you should reach it across a tiny water section. I went to where the guide said the card was and was back at the lever, which I could magically pull now. I have no idea what's going on (perhaps you have to examine the door on the lower level first, which is bullshit) but we should be able to move forward now. At the statue room, pull all the levers except the reset, go down the stairs, hop down, pull the green blocks, and drop down. You can unlock the door for later (you have to return with Teleport to get the treasure... ughhhh) and go fight the boss who is easier than almost every enemy in the damn cave. Grab the chest behind it and leave so we can go do the story again.

I will say, it is nice we get to see an Edifian as a reward for this bonus dungeon... So there's that.

Vanis City

Don't waste money on the Elf Sources; you'll be able to buy the good ones soon.

I've been wondering where Opera is too. :( She's my favorite character, so imagine how sad I was that you can't use her for half of this game. Speaking of, this is almost the half way point. Not including resets and deaths, I've logged about fifteen hours playtime, so seems about right. The shops don't offer any better weapons, but there is some better armor for your mages. Get that when you can.

Private Action - Ashton OUT Noel IN - Ashton's feeling a little hopeless and Noel tries to cheer him up.

Private Action - Leon OR Opera IN, Ernest OUT - (I used Leon) They discuss how strange the planet feels (as if man-made) and how Edifice compares to Expel.

Private Action - Chisato OUT - Chisato has one line that just says Vanice City is kinda peaceful.Talk to the guy in the bar and we learn Opera is researching with another scientist in the City of Knott. Head South of town once you're ready.

Road to Knott

Bring a few bombs. Most of the enemies are easy.

Don’t walk forward on the beautiful screen above... you take damage lol

Ah, the infamous

Ruddle sidequest

begins. If you explore thoroughly, you'll find him on the way.

Please use CTR F to find my updated guide later (See: Scream), because I made an error here.

Spell - Noel - Cure Light - Requirements: INT 40+ stats, spark with Heal Spell - Noel - Fairy Heal - Requirements; INT 70+ stats, spark with Cure Light

Noel knows this game is gonna ramp up, huh?

Knott

The Blue Sphere, huh? I’ll be back for you, sir.

Oh my god we finally get new boots and a new weapon for Dias. There's also Rune Bucklers, if you haven't gathered enough from dungeons for your mages. You can also buy the Dark Elf Sources now, so level up someone in Enchantment (Celine is difficult because you need to max her Tech first... so you can't level it to max, but you can get it high level) and try to craft some better armor.

Speaking of, Dias and Celine have 2-3 of their skills maxed in their primary category. I have been avoiding battles on the Road to Knott, so I may go back and train. The plants are fairly easy and they give around 35 SP each.

Enchantment, attempt 2

It took me about 10 resets to get a Magic Armor and a Dark Elf Source to become a Magic Resist Armor. I had to score 50 to get it. The trick is finding the 3rd checkpoint (when the cane glows white) before the timer runs out. When I tried again with the Magic Resist and a Dark Elf Source, after only 1 checkpoint I somehow got the Nexus Armor... I don't get it, either, you guys... Ideally I want another Nexus Armor and something stronger for Celine. I created a Mithril Coat for Celine and it seems if you get checkpoints in the center, it scores higher. Part of this may just be luck. I wish I understood it better...

I’m on my way! Woosh~

Knott Secret Ruins

Once you're ready head into the laboratory of Knott (top right of city) through the 2nd room on the right, at the back. I can't help much with the dungeon, so please follow a guide.

Opera and Dias are my favorite characters... I feel re energized, even if I can’t use her in battle right now... (You CAN use her, but there isn’t any reason to over Dias, sadly.)

After you run into Opera, go down another floor, move the switch to the left in the first room (I used Noel with Pull because I wasn’t taking Precis again if I didn’t have to) and then head down a few times and you'll be at the boss. When you get to the room with the two big long-nosed blue guys (Carlas???) use Celine's Thunderbolt to take them out and save before going through the bottom right door.

In a random battle I accidentily used Bless instead of Thunderbolt. Celine got Anti.

Spell - Anti - Celine - Requires: RES 50+ stats, spark with Bless

Spell - Magnum Tornado - Noel - Requires INT 45+ - Spark with Wind Blade

I love how Rival casually is like "let's look for the LOTR stone!" and we just go with it.

I think I have trauma from the “join event” text from Star Ocean: the Second Story Ending 86 Guide I made... ;__;

The boss isn't too bad. Celine's Thunderbolt takes out a few parts. Finish him off with Dias forward stab regular attack and you should be good. I did have to heal a few times with Noel. After the fight, grab the Palantir and teleport back to the ship, restock, and then go find Rival in Knott.

Knott (again) lol Meet with Rival. She explains that she met Opera while looking for new discoveries. Rival is trying to find some ancient spaceship and asks everyone to go explore ruins. (For real, we should have just taken parts from Knott and fixed our ship and GTFO lol we have to help her because Opera helped her... oh, wait, no, we said Rival helped Opera after she crash landed... sure lol Opera only saved Rival from some rando rolly polly. Whatever. We have to go meet a guy at the bar in Vanis City.

Vanis City (return) Leave Knott and teleport to the ship and then to Vanis. Go to the bar and talk to the green guy, Simon, to learn about some ruins. The Ocean Cave, to be exact... which we already did. Upon leaving the bar someone shows up and says go to Knott! So back we go.

Knott (AGAIN) You'll be forced to fight red beetles, like the ones in Gravis. They should be cake now if you've levelled Dias a bit. They took a few forward slash basic attacks each. Same strategy with the 3 grey beetles. Once you save Rival, you find out that they unleashed some awful monsters from Gravis forest's underground. When you're ready, go to the door at the back of Rival's room that you couldn't go to before.

Gravis' Forest Path

I took Dias, Celine, Noel. Make sure you're fully stocked, this area isn't on the ship teleporter.

Bring a bomb if you're playing on a Gameboy/Super Gameboy 1 (Note: must be original, not a Color or Advance) and when you come upon a tower, you can use a hidden door on the right to enter or blow up the crack with a bomb (Mobile port only). I'm really kinda ticked because if you choose the item on the right you get a Blue Sphere just handed to you. This plus that Might Chain from earlier makes playing on a Gameboy or Super Gameboy 1 almost worth it... So, sadly I didn't get this item. I remember in my old playthrough this was around where I put the game down because the angel inside looks like Lenneth. Her sprite gets reused a lot in this game... I really thought it was Lenneth, though! :p Apparently her name is Maria--maybe an allusion to Star Ocean Til the End of Time (this title was a holdover until 3 released, so...)

Continue forward along the path until you reach the cave. Along the way are more of the red beetles. For the boss fight ahead, if you're using Celine, you may want to aquire Ray or Southern Cross. Here's how: Use Starlight (have MP 100+, INT 40+) to gain Ray and then use Ray (260 MP+, 80+ INT, know Herbology) to spark it. It's highly likely you won't have her Tech maxed out yet to learn Herbology for Southern Cross, but Ray should work in a pinch. It only took me four battles to spark Ray.

Gravis Forest II / Gravis Forest Cave

The red beetles seem to go down quicker with Starlight, but also Dias should be taking them out in 1-3 hits on average. I also had a red beetle drop a Mithril Mesh once I reached the forest, which is an upgrade to the Nexus Armor.

There are many hidden paths that lead to treasure, ect. so make sure you have a map handy. Go right and just keep going right and you'll stumble upon the Brown Card. After this, explore as thoroughly as possible to get everything. Most of the enemies are really easy, especially if you get initiative.

There is one room on the center/right side that has a large enemy called the Dragon Warrior. Luckily, you'll need Teleport so you'll have to come back later for this. If you beat him 5 times you get one of the rings for the bonus dungeon. If you have Ashton, you'll also get some cool dialogue between Gyoro and Ururun.

When you come across the room with two levers in the center, move the left one and continue exploring a bit. You'll need to get to Floor 2 to finish the puzzle. Along the way you'll probably see two chests, one in the top left and one lower/right from that. Once again, you'll need Teleport for them. I don't know what dev expects me to backtrack for this crap, because I don't plan to. Go across the bridge you lowered to Floor 2, flip the switch. Falling here does nothing, so don't worry about it. Go back across and you'll see some yellowish stairs. Use Jump to get back to the double lever room and swap the order from before, which lowers the stairs completely. Save before going to the boss room.

Apsaras (hey, I recognize you from Megaten!)... not how I expected you to look. Anyway, I tried the Japanese website guide of using Ray, but... it did fucking nothing. The Official guide only recommends raising STR as high as possible and says even specials do very little here. Basically, this battle is gonna be a slog. Use items to your advantage.

Seriously, this boss sucks. I almost put the game down.

My strategy was to control Dias and do a sort of attack a bit, back off/heal as needed, attack some more. Be careful, if you take out it's legs, it just insta-kills everyone after a few attacks... I'm seriously debating using cheats for this fight, because it's that hard. I KNOW the game wants me to combo to prevent it from attacking, but when you suck at stupid fighting game ass skills, it's useless. There really needs to be any kind of work around...

Okay, so I was reading up and the JP website says Dias just needs MP and to attack based on range for some of the lower level killer moves. Go figure, he only just now started getting an MP boost. I still can't combo for shit (got a 6 somehow in the boss fight) but I did put some points into Awakening. However, I don't think that's what helped... So I equipped this random ass ring I had because I think it gives you Strong Blow? Anyway, this boss went down in like 20 seconds once I had it on Dias! I DON'T KNOW WHAT THIS GAME IS ANYMORE. For information on where I got the ring, it was on B1 Floor of the Ocean Cave! It's called the Eclipse Ring and the Official guide translates the ability added as "Strike". I don't know what this ability is exactly but it seems to have saved my ass here. I got flashback to the Protection Rings / Barker fight in Star Ocean the Second Story... Ironically, that boss fight was what kind of gave me the idea to look at accessories. Nice to see something stayed from 2 that was actually worthwhile.

Return to the ship, restock, return to Knott and go to the lab and talk to Rival. She explains that the Edifians were destroyed by a flood/tidal wave and that someone may have caused it. To learn more, she asks us to take her to Scream (and Lung). These names, bro... Anyway, we gotta go back to the road to Knott and find a new pathway.

Road to Knott 2 If you remember where we saw Ruddle, with those plant octopus guys, go back there. Rival opens the previously locked door and we're at Scream.

Scream You will need Precis' Hover if you want all the items, but they should be gemstones and armor you saw like four dungeons ago. What you really want are the Sharp Edge and Sorceress Knuckles, if SO2 taught me anything. I was pretty boggled considering those are potentially strong / really strong weapons for Claude and Rena in SO2... You just need Push for those, so Noel should be fine. (Note: I later learned Rena uses knives, so... I guess the knuckles are good for Noel.)

Star Ocean has this thing where it really ramps up it’s environments late game and I’m feeling it! Scream has great graphics and atmosphere. (I forgot to get a picture, though...)

Once you get the weapon upgrades, go through the right door in that same area where Rival is waiting. There's a teleport pad but you can set it to specific places. Going to Nusa Beach or Mile Shop don't have a way back, so don't bother. Select Scream Floor 2 and keep trudging along. Don't go through the upper door. There's a PA with Rena later and if you go now, you lose the chance to complete it.

Your goal is to get the entire tower to line up. Once you get to 4th Floor, save, because the boss is on Floor 5 and he's a bastard. First, I controlled Dias and charged the Minotaur to get some distance between it and the mages. Anything this dude uses KO's mages on impact. I mostly used Celine (with a fire boost and a ring that decreases cast time) with Ray. I wish I had Southern Cross, as it would do more damage... :( It was a big fucking struggle. I used like 4 revives, quite a few MP items, and a all party heal item. Somehow I won. If you get one part of him destroyed he should go down pretty quick after, even if it doesn't look that way. I also had to use a save state about halfway through the battle to save time. It's like 30% luck and 50% cursing, but you'll whittle him down somehow. Just don't let your mages anywhere near him whatsoever and revive immediately. If you wait too long to revive and they're behind the Minotaur, they are good as perma-dead, because he'll attack before you get to even move them out of the way. This entire boss was BS, almost as much as the last one. It's a trend in this game that needs to die.

City of Lung

Ruddle Sidequest Okay, in my last section I wasn't sure about the Ruddle quest. Unfortunetly, I chose the wrong direction and it lead to a dead end (the guide I was following was incorrect, so when I checked the Official Guide... yeah...), so this quest is over for me now that I've reached Lung. For the correct path, use the slapped together, Google translated pics I posted above. (I wanted to add the photo here, but Tumblr would NOT save it for some reason)

So much for my Fairy Ring :( I'm pretty peeved as it's so far back and I'm not doing those boss fights again. However, to make a Fairy Ring (halves MP cost, just like SO2), you can use Rune Metal and score between 270-319 with Jewelry Making (this is how the ROM translates it). I didn't have any Rune Metal, so I might try later.

Private Action *This PA has a small window, do it immediately - IN: Precis - Ship - Rival admires the ship and gives you a Tri-Emblem (increase all stats). I'm unsure if it breaks or something, so I'll save it for the end... This won't be availible if you talk to the Priest in Lung, so do this PA immediately.

Proceed down the path in Lung and you'll be escorted to the Priest, who is promptly killed by Rival. She also forces Claude and Rena to crash on Edifice, just like she did you.

She is the planet's "devil". She leaves and a remaining priest takes you to the top floor to meet an Edifian named Rose.

Rose explains Rival killed the Priest to get access to the Grand Knott, a weapon. Rose sacrifices a literal lung (I guess that's why the city is named that? lol) so you can breathe underwater when you go investigate the Comsat / Komsa Ruins.

Comsat Ruins - Bring a few bombs. - Equip Stone Checks

With the Aqualung, Dias can now use Swim/Dive, so we don't necessarily need to bring Precis. The dungeon is fairly straightforward. If a room doesn't loop back, look for a Microchip; this unlocks more floors on the elevator. There is also an item here we'll need to get Claude (yeah, he has a shitty sidequest; luckily this is the only item you’ll need for it), so make sure you nab the Minsidia by going 80% the way left on the continental shelf, then down to get the chest near the bottom. You'll have to backtrack, so be prepared. Once you backtrack once, teleport to the ship. This way you can just quickly return to the shelf by going to the ship/beginning of the dungeon. Anytime I got back to the starting floor, I went to heal/restock since it makes life easier. I avoided a lot of the enemies here as well, like the rhino-dino looking guys, because they just OKO'd my party all the time.

After getting the Minsidia, go back to the beginning of the continental shelf and retrace your steps across, but go all the way left and all the way down. You may want to grab Precis first because the two treasures here require Hover (a weapon for her and for Ernest--not worth trading out your healer, IMO). You'll now be in the seabed. You might be able to hover if you go left for a shortcut, IDK, but the path around is clockwise. If you want some treasure, go to the first door you see, but if you want to move onto the boss, just keep going clockwise towards the center.

I've had to do a lot of resets just because enemies KO Celine instantly :/ I've been using her Magic Shot field action to get the jump on some enemies and start battle controlling her. A Thunderbolt takes out the Saber Fins in one shot. The Nautilus' take a lot of damage from Thunderbolt too, but to preserve MP, try to finish them off with Dias. They cause poison, so have Noel w/Dispel or cure poisons handy.

If you can get Celine's MP 200+ and INT 60+, you may have a good chance of sparking Thunderstorm, which may be an option we can use going further since Southern Cross isn't obtainable yet...

The red shark is a sub-boss and if you got Thunderstorm, he goes out in 1-3 casts of that. When it attacks again, you wake up in Aqua City and are greeted by an Edifian. Is that what we're doing here? Talking to them? It's so strange we go through this dungeon instead of searching for Claude/Rena immediately... just sayin'. Go around and talk to the Edifians for the first plot in awhile. You'll learn they fought Rival 200 years ago and failed when she flooded the planet. We also learn Claude and Rena crashed near Nusa Beach.

When you go to talk to the leader, they go on some typical Tri-Ace writing about the Aqualung being able to carry Rose's thoughts and that's how they know who you are and that the Priest wanted you to fight Rival. The leader goes onto say we need two more Edifian's help and must go to Ax and Azul and pass their trials. It's pretty similar to SO2 and the Four Fields. Head right from the leader's room and there are two warps.

Return to the ship and restock as needed. It's time to finally get Rena and Claude. Go to Nusa Beach (Use the shortcut in the Crash Forest or go through Slave Village passage [I also realized the upper left exit of Aqua City is a shortcut, later on... oops]) and get Rena, because you can't get Claude without her. One thing the website guide notes is they are completely optional. There is some text where Claude laments if you fail to recruit them, but since Rena is useful and we want the team reunited... let's go get them and level Rena up!

Nusa Beach Revisisted (Rena) Go to the location shown above (near one of the cities, I think? Before the Sea Cave) and you'll find Rena!

I hope you've been saving Knife weapons... apparently Rena uses them in this one. It feels like a reference to her og PS1 art, where she had a short sword / dagger. She also uses mage armors, so you may need to go purchase some of the better stuff in Knott/Lung. We have to "level" her anyway, so use any spare SP on her and go train somewhere if need be. Go to Lung to upgrade first, then go to Knott since that's our destination. Claude has a disease that a scientist named Rush there can cure.

Also, while you're at Lung, you may want to invest in some Titania Sources and upgrade some things, especially since Rena probably won't have an Isis Tiara, we may want to make her one or something better.

Raising Rena

*Note, she will not learn Gravity Press with this method, BUT Celestial Arrow is better anyway.

Sense - Physical Sensation, Danger Sense, Radio Waves(Transmission)

Battle - Parry, Quigong (I didn't learn these, because I didn't see them come up quickly...)

The above are optional but learn one set before the other.

After learning Sense skills, learn all TECH skills through Lezard Techno.

After learning all the above, raise INT until you get Lost Magic.

I levelled her at the base of the seabed. Use Celine's Thunderbolt to take out the Balloon Fish in a few hits. Enter the cave door and go back out to respawn. He gives 60 SP a go. I just refilled MP with Blackberries until I ran out, rinse/repeat. The cost of the Blackberries can suck, but don't forget that Scout often has them on sale. Also, depending on your playstyle, you may find an easier enemy that gives high SP, just do what works for you. In one "trip" I got Rena to a 67 Skill Level. Everyone else is around 100~ so I figured, close enough. I also raised Taijitsu a little for Celine and Rena so their HP was around 100 each.

Knott Revisisted (Claude) Go to the first door on the left of the science building where all those dungeons were to find Rush. He needs the Minsidia, which we already have. He makes the medicine and so we go to Vanis City.

Vanis City Revisited (Claude) You'll see a big guy right when you teleport there. Talk to him. Claude will be waiting at the ship if you want to use him.

Now we can return to Aqua City. We'll take on Ax first, since it's a bit easier.

Ax - Right

Go the upper left door of the area and climb the shell. You'll face the Lord of the Sea who gives you hints on how to progress. These change each new playthrough, but for my own notes, here's what they were in my playthrough: Go through the door of bubbles. He also gives us something, but I have no clue what it was. (Okay, I'm dumb. Realized this on door 2... grab the item bag that appears behind the guy you fought! There's an item in it.)

Next aim for the door right, right again, and down. There's a door where you repeat steps. There's the King of the Sea who says (in my playthrough) go through the bubble door two times.

Next go up and right through the door and repeat the process a final time. Now is the Master of the Sea. His clue for my playthrough was: You have to go through the doors four times in total.

Lovely. At this point I was running low on blackberries, so I left to restock. I also wanted to see if I could get Rena and spells since we've amassed some SP. To learn Fairy Heal, we need Fairyology. I think because INT is NOT opposite TECH, it's alright to raise and we won't lose points, since we will level it after INT anyway. So I went and spammed Cure Light to learn Fairy Heal. In about 3 fights on the road to Knott, I got Fairy Heal AND Fairy Light in the same battle by spamming Cure Light and using Fairy Heal for the first time... We FINALLY have a full party cure! If we spam Fairy Heal, we have a chance to learn Raise Dead, too...

Item Creation: Jewelry Making

I really kind of want a Fairy Ring for Rena, but I can't get the points higher than 130-150, when I need 200+... I did get an extra Star Necklace (reduces cast time) using 1 of my Rune Metals, though. You'll need to buy the Magical Rasp from Lung and try to make a Circle or Cross shape for the highest points. The highest I got was 180 making circles... :( I think I need the level higher, but it conflicts with Celine's learning path...

I screwed around with Compounding, since Rena had it at level 6 after I trained her up earlier. If you mix Thyme and Rosemary, they make the basic Resurrect item if you score 150ish. Nice to get revives. I know Athelas makes resurrection items and some MP items in SO2, but I don't think they exist here. The best item, the Metox, is obtained through connect battles, so that's out.

Item Creation: Compounding

Thyme and Thyme with a low score can make Mixed or Fruit Syrup (HP/MP small and medium restore) and seem like an easy/good combo to make for the dungeon treks. To get Thyme, you can hunt Hippos in Garp. There's 3 right at the entrance and they go down super fast now that we're so late in the game. Bonus, it can be an easy but grindy way to amass some SP (19 SP each I think), so it's a win-win if you got a TV show to binge and wanna grind a bit. Just remember you can only carry 15 of an item, but doesn't hurt to have a full stack and extra so you don't have to leave dungeons as often. Another alternative is to grab Bowman and go to Scout Village, exit, go left and explore the first two screens for herbs, walk back to the village real quick, and repeat. You should have a plethora of herbs at your disposal after.

Another good herb combo:

Lavendar and Lavendar (Score: Auto / 150+) = Resurrection Mist (Revives one 100% HP.) If you score around 80, you can get a Mixed Syrup, too.

Lavendar and Rosemary (150+) make a Cure Stone.

Lavendar and Thyme (150+) can make Cure Paralysis.

Rosemary and Rosemary (170+) can make a Mental Pot (increases Symbology in fights)

Now, to get back to the game for a bit... I returned to the bottom/center door near the crab because apparently there's one more guy to fight. He is the Demon of the Abyss, just a giant crab. His hint for my file was: There's a tricky room in the center of the tower, you won't be able to leave it just walking normally. After the door of bubbles, you must go through the door of waves.

Once done, go back to the second door we went through (the one that was right, right, down, next to 2 crabs); this will lead to the central tower that just seemed to loop endlessly if you visited before. On either side there are two doors. The left is the wave door and the right is the bubble door. There are two gaps that must be hovered/jumped over. Based on our clues, we need to: Go through the door of bubbles two times. We have to go through the doors four times altogether. After the door of bubbles, we have to go through the door of waves. My first guess wasn't right, so I'm not sure I understand the riddle... You'll know if you failed because you auto-fall into one of the gaps. My solution was: Bubble, Wave, Bubble. I have no idea why. Go up the central tower, Raum, one of the Edifians, is waiting at the top right.

After speaking with Raum, we see a scene of Rival raising the Grand Knott (tower/weapon thing, kinda reminds me of Vane from Lunar). You'll be teleported back to the teleporters, where we can now take on Azul.

If there's any PA's you want to do in Ava City, do them now. I'm not sure if they become unavailible after the events of the second tower / talking to the leader after completing both towers...

Azul - Left Start by heading left and down through a hidden path. Step into the pool/teleporter. Grab the treasure and go up. This is where the official guide said to go first, but we need an orb first to open the door. Go back to the entrance, go down and right, right, down and you'll get a Devil Egg in the treasure box. Go back to the entrance and go all the way left and down to get the Devil Fruit. Go back to the entrance a third time, go right through the pool and up, up, then right. You'll see a hole. Put the Devil Fruit there. Do the same thing in the next room with the Devil Egg, then move the two blocks to the lit up areas in their rooms to unlock a pool teleport back near the red shark.

Love the Tria reference lol These guys were so immersion breaking / over the top I loved it

Go through, grab the Blue Orb, and go back. If you go down, left, up there is another block to move (it doesnt change anything yet). Return to the entrance and go all the way left and get on the teleporter. Defeat the two fish to open the doors. Make your way upward until you see another block to move. This time it changes something. Go down and right through the pool teleporter. Grab the item and go back, go up to another pool teleporter. You can skip the first one, but the second teleporter has a Star Cloak you'll really want for a mage. Go back to where you moved the block on the same floor (left, up) and go left through the hidden passage. Go back to the entrance after grabbing the Green Orb. You may want to leave/restock and come back because the boss is soon. There's one orb left. From the entrance go left, down, through the teleporter, then up through the door we can now open. Toss the cap on one of the mages and get the Red Orb. Now we can open the boss door, so prepare/save and head up to put the orbs into the door with the red hinges (similar to the Green orb door we just busted up). You gotta defeat all the enemies. A few Thunderbolts take out the crab. I just ran from the dragon guys since they waste so much MP. A few Thunderstorms took out the boss really quick!

Yeah, this is a lot like Vane’s destruction but in reverse lol

After you go back to Aqua and watch Rival and Ava City duke it out. We learn Rival powered Grand Knott with the Palantir Stone. The Edifians confirm Ava City is destroyed.

Remember those damn elevator ruins from early game? Yeah... :/ Rival has nestled Grand Knott into it and is waiting for us to stop her. They explain the Leviabor Ruins have powers of the ancient race and it's needed to power Grand Knott, which is docked and free to enter. Except for a barrier, which they can get rid of, so who cares. Anyway, I'd prep by trying to make better weapons, armor, and items. Make food, curatives, ect. Then when you're ready, go to Ava City and the Leviabor Ruins. This isn't the final dungeon, by the way. For some reason the game is gonna continue quite awhile. Luckily there is a final city soon that has a ton of good stuff, so you can probably trudge through the 10 Seals and Leviabor fairly easily. We'll see...

Let’s take a detour with...

Private Action Palooza! (aka A lot of PAs...)

There aren't many PAs in this game, but I wanted to go see any still left. There's a few more late game that get you some ultimate weapons, apparently, so I don't want to miss them and I'll include them in this guide. I'll note if there's any that were missed based on time (since some may have closed after the events at Ax/Azul)

Okay, it’s wierd controlling Claude again... :p

Opera, is this necessary??

Spaceship - Chisato OUT - Speak to Chisato to gain her ultimate weapon, the Mirage. (A SO2 reference maybe?)

Ultimate Weapons

You'll notice they have 0 stats. It's because you need a Blue Sphere (Alchemy) and to take them to the guy in... Knott, I think? I'll have to double check.

Road to Knott (Go to Vanis City south exit, down, right, right, down) - Chisato IN, Dias OUT - DiasxChisato shippers will love this PA--Chisato tells Dias it's dangerous to be out in the wild alone and that first impressons are important. She basically says his aloof and succinct words make it hard for the party to understand where he's coming from and everyone worries.)

Ava City - Opera IN, Celine OUT - After completing Ax/Azul / Before Ava is destroyed / Bowman daughter PA can't have been seen (?) - Obviously I couldn't do this one for multiple reasons...

Slave Village (upper right house) - Opera, Dias IN, Leon, Bowman OUT - Leon and Bowman are playing a card game. Bowman lectures Leon on thinking too much about the game, which is causing Leon's losing streak. Dias lectures them for being nonchalant when the world needs saving, but agrees breaks are good, so Bowman offers to play. Opera taught them the game (from Earth - Hanafuda).

Vanice City (go right twice from entrance) - Bowman IN, Opera, Ernest OUT - Bowman sees Opera buying a ton of alcohol. Opera offers Bowman some (apparently the alcohol is better than Earth) and I agreed to let Bowman live it up. They go back to the inn to drink. Eventually, Bowman passes out and Opera keeps drinking. It wouldn't be Star Ocean without someone getting shitfaced, you know? Opera leaves to buy more when she runs out and Ernest brings Bowman back to the ship, telling him not to attempt to keep up with Opera again... lol

Road to Knott (Exit Knott) - Precis IN, Opera OUT - Opera's gun is veering left, so Opera asks if Precis can fix it. Opera's good with machines, but not computer parts... I agreed for Precis to look at it. Opera declines though, scared Precis will return it over-designed. I asked Opera after the PA, too, and Precis gets all mad because Opera won't let her within 10 feet of the gun in fear Precis will make it into an automaton...

Knott (second floor item shop) - Opera IN, Precis OUT - Precis comments on Knott's dark atmosphere, compared to her school. Opera mentions El was a scholar... I think this is a mistranslation as she probably said "Ern", meaning Ernest.

Spaceship - Ashton OUT - Ashton gives you his ultimate weapon 83 Inn's Claw (ROM) / Gine's Claw (Japanese website translation--I think this might be XINE?! Did XINE hand over a talon?!). Ashton says that Gyoro and Ururun want him to use the weapon, but Ashton says it was a gift from (Rasugas)? Does he mean Lasguss (mountains)? Perhaps from his home town that was scrapped in SO2? He says it has the spirit of a djinn inside. I swear I read in an interview Ashton's hometown had something to do with a djinn...

Note before these two PAs, bring Ashton and Claude with you. Dias should be able to handle any enemies. Do NOT bring Precis or Opera.

Gravis Forest (Summit, where the boss was) - Ashton IN, Precis OUT - Ashton asks Precis if she can repair the ship soon. Precis says that means she'll go back to Earth and Ashton to Expel. Since they're supposed to be canonical in a way, I stated 'We'll be seperated again'. Precis tells Ashton he hasn't changed in two years, because he's sad about being seperated again. Precis says it's a good thing he hasn't changed, giggles, and runs off.

Ah, if I'd known about this... I'd brought Claude, too... If you do take my advice, try going down one screen and returning to see if the PA triggers, otherwise you may have to backtrack like I did. If you're lost, just keep heading up from the Hideout as best you can. It doesn't take too long as the enemies that remain go down really quick.

Gravis Forest (Summit) - Claude IN, Opera OUT - Claude snaps Opera out of reading a book. She's exploring the wreckage of her ship and gathering things she might want to keep. I was curious so I asked 'What were you reading?' The Armoured Death and the Knight of Fire are what Claude notices. He says they're very military, even noting Opera's jacket. However, Opera hates war, she just likes good stories that are fiction and finds her jacket comfortable. When Opera mentions a far off planet, Claude reminds Opera that he's part of the Pangalactic Federation (she forgot!)

Nusa Beach (use the Crash Forest entrance) - Rena IN, Chisato OUT - Chisato is worried about the universe constantly at war, saying the Nedians were a peaceful people. I told her 'There's hope in the future' basically. If you talk to Chisato after, she says because of the events two years ago, she became a Battle Reporter, specifically. :)

Road to Gravis (Had to look up where this was... It's the area with the tower where Maria was, so go to Knott and use the back door where Rival used to hang out. Travel down the ladder, through the little tunnel, and you'll see Celine when you exit.) - Rena IN, Celine OUT - Rena finds Celine looking pale. I said 'I'm more worried'. Celine says a bug fell on her (reminds me of the trope they used in the EX anime) If you talk to Celine after, Rena says bugs don't bother her much.

Scream (2F of Serpent Ruins, teleport to Serpent Ruins, leave, head right, then head for the top right of the dungeon) - Rena IN - Defeat the bird. The lady with the bento will die. Use Rena's Rebirth to revive them. This ability seems to be finicky? I guess use it in front of the "block" of floor where the lady died, and it should revive her. If you go to the back there's now a jam shop. Let me tell you, I was so mad lol I was hoping it would have the Aloe Jam that was so useful in SO2... NONE of the jams restore MP... FML. Buy the Blueberry Jam (20% HP restore) at least for dungeon crawling, otherwise this was pointless for the effort involved...

Lung (item shop) - Requires Bowman's daughter PA to have been done - Celine IN, Bowman OUT - Bowman needs help deciding what to get, a dress for Nineh or a toy for Erys. Yeah, the toy seems the better choice, but it's trash compared to the Marvel Dress you get otherwise. (Marvel from SO1? Interesting lol) Move the Star Cloak to Rena and give Celine the massive boost from the Marvel Cloak.

That's all for now! :o We've only got a few PAs left for later... Where were we? Right, Leviabor Ruins...

Due to issues with Tumblr, please be patient. I’m tired of editing/saving 3x just to make updates to this post. It is very exhausting. Fix your shit Tumblr.

FINAL PART OF GUIDE, CLICK HERE

#star ocean blue sphere #tips and tricks #strategy guide #SOBS #beginner's guide #star ocean series #fan translated #video game review

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animasola86 · 10 months

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Voice Appreciation Post

I’ve always loved certain voices. Mostly male voices of a certain timbre, I cannot explain their sound exactly, but when I hear these voices, it does something to me, not necessarily in a romantic/sexual way, mind you. I just enjoy them, very much. They are soothing and relaxing and I could listen to these voices forever. They could say the dumbest or most mundane things, but I would still listen to the sound of them.

And it doesn’t even matter what language they are speaking. I’m German, so my first “voice crush” (if you want to call it that) was a popular voice actor we have here (you see, most/all of foreign movies and shows and video games are being dubbed here and that in a very high quality kind of way), who voiced the German version of Ezio Auditore from Assassin’s Creed II or Geralt of Rivia in the Witcher games, etc. (making these characters my all-time favorite videogame characters, btw).

I also enjoy listening to Japanese seiju - which makes it hard sometimes to read the subtitles of my favorite anime/drama, as I only listen (without understanding much) and enjoy. I don’t know what it is about Japanese men, but most of them just sound so good to me.

As for my newest (or oldest) love and obsession and why I’m writing this post to begin with: I also have a knack for British guys. It’s the accent (I’m not an expert on British accents so I couldn’t tell you which dialect it is or from where it hails, except maybe the Scottish accent, but that’s a no-brainer and also a favorite of mine). So I’ve had my voice crushes on, let’s say, Giles from Buffy, or Mr. Sheffield from The Nanny. (Or maybe I always liked older men too? Hmm.)

This also explains my deep obsession with Chamber of Secrets’ Tom Riddle played by Christian Coulson, whose voice is just, so, ugh. (Highly recommend any audio books he has narrated!) I can’t explain it. It just does things to me.

And the same happened when I played Hogwarts Legacy. I became totally obsessed by one particular voice and you might have guessed from the tags. Sebastian Sallow is not only the best character of the whole game, because he is so versatile and conflicted and adorable and whatnot, but his voice... the way his voice actor (Alfie Nugent, you are my absolute hero, btw!) says things, how his voice just vibrates through me, so low at times, the perfect timbre, no matter what situation Sebastian finds himself in, cheeky, flirty, worried, sad, it always sounds so mind-bogglingly good to me.

I find myself listening to his voice lines over and over again (thank you YouTube) and it helps me so much in writing my fanfiction. I love his voice, really, truly love his voice, it gives me all the good vibes love would do (in a completely platonic kind of way). And it’s just a voice.

Now, speaking about voices, I have to address the AI issue. Is it an issue? Well, I do feel bad for voice actors whose voices are (ab)used without their consent, but from a fan perspective it is the best thing that ever happened to this world. (That took a turn, eh?) Having all these creative people of the Hogwarts Legacy fandom create their own voice lines for Sebastian (and other charaters for that matter) is truly such a blessing. Every day I find more and they are all so good and authentic and the way an AI program can mimic these perfect voices is just beyond me.

So thank you, lovely people who have perfected ElevenLabs, and thank you to the original voice actors for providing those voices in the first place. I salute you all. I thank your voices for keeping me sane in these troubling times we live in.

#voice appreciation #voice actors #attracted to voices #hogwarts legacy fandom #hogwarts legacy #sebastian sallow #alfie nugent #elevenlabs #ai voices #voice obsession #wall of text #just me rambling about voices

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seitjun · 5 years

Note

Alfredo gets arrested for something Trevor did, Fahc!!

gen/possible future alfreyco // 800+ words // fahc au

notes: this was a lovely prompt, thank you!

Alfredo’s a good guy — he is, no matter what anyone says about how ‘if you have to state it, maybe it’s not as true as you think it is’.

He’s a model citizen of Los Santos if it had been like any other city; he pays his taxes, votes in elections even if he knows they’re rigged, stays on the good side of the law, albeit its minute size. He’s lived for more than two decades in the crime pit, and he’s still kept a pristine record while minding his business with all the crew conflicts.

Until now, apparently.

“C’mon! I have no idea who that is or what you’re talking about,” Alfredo pleads. If his hands hadn’t been bound with handcuffs, he would’ve thrown it up in exasperation at the cops questioning him. “I’m not part of the crew or gangs or whatever going on here. I’m a video game streamer, for fuck’s sake!”

One of the cops — this hefty, beady-eyed guy with a balding head and permanently pursed lips — snorts. “That’s what every criminal says before we bust them for something eventually. That’s original though, the job you told us, but it ain’t saving you now.” He gives a lofty grin, all smug and sly as if he’s won something here. “Let’s go, Anderson, this one ain’t gonna talk. We got him on camera at the bank robbery anyway.”

The other cop, more wiry and dweeby with limbs skinnier than healthy, stands up near instantly. “Got it, boss! He’s going to the slammer soon!” His eyes are shining with stars as he trails after the captain, and he slams the interrogation room door shut.

Alfredo groans. He slams his forehead against the metal table, ignoring the flash of searing pain that spreads.

“You’ve got to be fuckin’ kidding me, I don’t even go to that bank,” he mutters with a cheek squished in the table beneath him. “I was literally doing my job while it happened, but nope! Cops had to be just as bad as everyone here said they were. Great. I just had to live in a place with shitty cops.”

It devolves from there, and Alfredo feels his grip slowly loosen on his sanity; he doesn’t know how long he’s been there already or for how long. He just knows that he’s absolutely fucked, and he blames whatever karmic entity is out here that’s screwing with him.

Feeling less than hopeless, he shuts his eyes with a soft sigh. He might as well wait it out with a short nap, get some rest in before he’s forced to deal with Tweedle-dee and Tweedle-dum again, lose even more years off his life than he's already had.

Except—

Bang! Bang! Bang!

—there’s gunshots now and the alarms started ringing, and fuck, of course, that’s his luck now, isn’t it?

Alfredo sits back up with a muttered stream of curses, waiting for some cops to collect him. He drums his fingertips against the cool metal and keeps his eyes trained on the door, just in case his situation goes even worse now. Watch him get blamed for a crew affiliation again, just because they chose to stick this one station up today and right now of all times.

Awful, this city. Absolutely awful.

When he hears the rushed thudding of footsteps getting louder, closer, he sighs and mentally prepares himself for his new fate. Here comes jail, maybe even an execution if the cop uses him as a meatshield.

Only when the door opens, there’s not twig-looking cop or a pig-like captain to greet him; instead, there’s a man around his age with slicked-back hair and bright eyes, a hand curled around a smoking gun. A cheeky smile plays on his lips.

“Aha, found you! Third time really is the charm, huh?”

Alfredo blinks. There’s a series of events that’s taken place somewhere and sometime, otherwise this sort of situation wouldn’t be happening, but— he has no idea what. He just knows that this is all out of control now, but maybe he never had any control in the first place.

“What the actual fuck,” is all he can voice out.

“And so he speaks!”

“Who the hell are you?!”

The man shrugs, waves his gun all carelessly. “Can’t really say much right now, but call me Trevor,” the stranger grins, sharp and wild and unrestrained; it sends an electric current through Alfredo, lights every nerve on fire. Something inside him is standing up in rapt attention, wary. “Might have accidentally screwed you over with a bank heist recently, so uh. We’re here to break you out!”

Alfredo shakes his head, looks at Trevor with narrowed eyes. “Who the hell is ‘we’?”

And somehow, Trevor’s grin turns even sharper. Turns dangerous and dark, like the devil himself came up from his domain, decided to play with humans for the day.

“The Fakes.”

#rtah #fahc #seiju writes

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pixelatedlenses · 4 years

Text

In a suprising twist, I’ve been offered the chance to review some doujinshi (that’s self-published fan and original works) by Irodori Comics, one of the biggest -and most dynamic- JP-EN doujinshi localizers on the market.

I’ll be covering one all-ages doujinshi and one that’s a little bit spicy and for older audiences. The first review will cover Irodori Aqua’s Arrested Love by Seiju Natsumegu, which is an all-ages rom-com about a Cop and a Yakuza. Actually, all of Irodori Aqua’s titles are all-ages: perfect for the young or teenage manga enthusist in your life!

The next review will cover Irodori Sakura’s sweet and spicy I Want You to Only Love My Body by Namaniku. Irodori Sakura is actually Irodori’s BL, Yuri, and LGBTQ+/Queer imprint, and it’s about to get a ton of new titles this month. I’ll actually be reviewing a few of those to, before they drop! How exciting!

Overall, I’m really excited to provide my own thoughts about both titles, and hope that you’ll find something to enjoy about both reviews: maybe you’ll also add one or both of Irodori’s titles to your digital library. Also -as a note- both titles are readily avaliable to puchase in a variety of e-formats, including PDFs and EPUB!

I’ll be sharing my first two reviews here on Tumblr (and many other platforms) on the evening of August 25, sometime around 7 p.m. Central Standard Time. In fact, I’m just about done writing them: in fact, I’m going to get back to polishing them so they shine!

#chatter #updates #reviews

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dantessssdiary · 5 years

Note

Hey by any chance do you have a good recipe for pot butter to make brownies or anything? Kinda going out on a limb wondering if you know any recipes since I saw that whiskey sour recipe

Hold on, let me fly to Canada.

Okay, now that I’m here this is legal to write. So you’re either gonna need a flame stove, slow cooker, or oven, and a lotta time.

Also, get some Ghee. Ghee’s an oil derived from butter, often used in Indian cooking. I buy a jar at this place called Pasand that’s six blocks from DMC. That... might just mean “Store” though. Point is, I’ve seen it in a regular grocery store too. I think you can make it at home too, but I don’t have the patience. You might, I have demons to kill.

Alright, now take your goodness. Grind it fine. It don’t gotta be powdered sugar, but fine is good.

You’ll need an oven now. Set it on 250, and put all that stinky stuff on a cookie sheet. Put it in the oven, NO oil. Let it toast for like, 5 minutes. Check it every five. You want it to just get just a touch brown. Your house is gonna SMELL though, so you can skip this step if you want, especially if someone “has a sensitive nose,” or “legal worries,” or... Vivi or V. Just. Anyone like that. Or, light a crapload of Nag Champa, and say “it’s either sandalwood or Sticky Icky, pick your nose poison slickback.”

So, take your lightly baked baking good, and you’re gonna need about a cup of ghee per about 1/3 of an o. Put them both in a slow cooker on very low or low for 2 hours, a super SUPER low flame for 2 hours, or in a Dutch oven set in the oven set at 200 for 2-3 hours. For all of these, stir super regularly, about every 10 minutes. If you have an immersion blender, you can use that too for thorough mixing.

Now, you’re gonna need some cheesecloth. Strain your Magic Ghee through a tight cheesecloth. Be careful, it’ll be hot. Like, really hot. Strain it till you’re satisfied, but there’s probably gonna be some fine gunk in it. It’ll settle to the bottom of your mix. If you did it right, your ghee should be green.

This recipe was courtesy of a Buddhist monk by the name of Seiju I met once in Los Angeles on a wendigo hunt. Nice guy, terrible cookies, great magic butter. Liked his buddy better, to be honest.

You can use this Magic Ghee like any butter or oil in any recipe. It functions as either, depending how cold you use mix it into whatever you’re making. Hope that helps.

#anon asks #dante answers #dante sparda #dmc dante #devil may smoke #cw weed

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radhardened · 5 years

Text

a New Year's space tea

One of the many media outlets that covered New Horizons’ New Year’s Day 2019 flyby of the most distant object ever explored by humankind was NHK, Japan’s national broadcasting organization. To celebrate the new year and the flyby, I hosted a tea gathering for the visiting NHK film crew on New Year’s Day with the help of two friends and tea classmates, among other invaluable helpers behind the scenes. I’ve wanted to host a space-themed chakai for ages, but it’s hard to identify a set of guests who would appreciate both the tea form and the space theme. This was a perfect opportunity.

I’m pleased to say the event went well. We all enjoyed ourselves, and the NHK crew members expressed heartfelt appreciation for the experience, a respite from an intense period of work on what’s easily the biggest holiday of the year in Japan.

Following are a few paragraphs on my planning and preparation. tl;dr: it was exciting, stressful, and instructive in a way that perhaps only tea people can appreciate, though I’ve tried to avoid tea jargon as much as possible so non-tea people can have a chance of understanding.

I scoured my tea utensil bins for items with space motifs that weren’t too obviously meant for (Tanabata in) summer. I resumed my stalled tinkering on designs for space-themed lid rests and tested whether the plastic was liable to melt under a hot kettle lid. I ordered a can of matcha from a company whose name and many of whose teas’ names start with 星 “hoshi,” the kanji meaning ‘star.’ I commissioned a work of calligraphy from a talented shodō-practicing classmate of mine. I considered astronomical motifs I could apply to a sweets tray and studied how to use metal leaf to apply them. And this was in December, when I was already designing, carving, and block printing end-of-year greeting cards; making and shopping for Christmas gifts; and being slightly occupied at work by preparing to usher a spacecraft through a close encounter with the most distant object ever explored by humankind!

Apparently unable to rest when I get it in my head to make something, I decided a few days beforehand that it would be nice to give my guests a copy of the utensil list printed on the back of my block-printed greeting cards. This led to hours of studying unfamiliar kanji to be able to read and write the names and makers of some of the Japanese-made utensils, as well as learning the Japanese counter word for “installed or mounted objects” (!) in order to describe the lid rest I designed depicting three Deep Space Network antennas. I’d also learn that my tea container’s name 三光 refers to a combination of three “bright” cards in one of the games you can play with hanafuda; it’s poetically apropos given the three celestial designs on the container that attracted me to it in the first place.

To accompany the pressed-sugar New Year’s sweets I bought, I made simple traditional buckwheat cookies called soba bōro (using this recipe but baking them for no more than half the time suggested). I wanted them to be shaped like little stars, echoing the dry sweets served along with New Horizons-shaped sweets at a Tanabata chaji hosted by a former Midorikai classmate. After 3D printing a scaled-down version of this star-shaped cookie cutter I found its walls were too thin and weak, as often happens with models printed smaller than they were designed to be; MakePrintable saved that model, but in the end I preferred the results from the tool I’m now sure my friend used at the Tanabata chaji—a Chinese bellflower-shaped cutter. The resulting shape is like a star with just enough chubbiness to render it cute. (If we had known the shape of New Horizons’ target in time, I would have made them in that shape using the cookie cutter I designed using CookieCaster.)

Below is a record of the utensils I used and—where applicable and known to me—their makers.

花 Flowers 椿と南天 camellia and nandina 花入 Flower container 黒唐津焼き black Karatsu-ware 掛軸 Scroll 色紙：宇宙 Shikishi: "uchū” (universe/cosmos/space) Robert Bernhards 「伯恩」"Haku-on" 釜 Kettle 筒釜　竹地紋 cylindrical with bamboo pattern 棚 Shelf 宗旦好丸卓 Maru-joku in the style favored by Sōtan 水指 Fresh water container 染付 sometsuke 薄茶器 Tea container 三光棗　糸目 "sankō" 中村宗悦 Sōetsu Nakamura 茶杓 Tea scoop 銀河 "ginga" (Milky Way) 西村寿峰 Hisamine Nishimura 主茶碗 Main tea bowl 天の川　瑠璃釉 "ama no gawa" (Milky Way) with lapis lazuli glaze 八木海峰 Kaihō Yagi 替茶碗 Second tea bowl 「NASA」 Tom Sachs 建水 Waste-water vessel 餌畚 efugo 蓋置 Lid rest ディープスペースネットワークの椀形アンテナ三基 trio of Deep Space Network dish antennae 内製（3Dプリント） self made (3D printed) 茶 Tea 星授 "seiju" 星野園 Hoshinoen 干菓子 Sweets 打物 molded sweets ばいこう堂 Baikōdō そばボーロ soba bōro 内製 self made 菓子器 Sweets tray 月相 moon phases 内製 self made

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sxilins · 6 years

Text

would you rather (autumn edition)

seiju @seijuurouus tagged me（︶^︶）

go apple picking vs go on a hay ride

scary vs sweet

sweaters vs boots

socks vs mittens

bonfires vs football

trick or treating vs watching scary movies

apple pie vs pumpkin pie

halloween vs thanksgiving

bake pie vs bake cookies

rain vs fog

black cats vs owls

ghosts vs wizards (wh ...)

harry potter vs halloweentown

go hiking vs sleep in (i’ve actually woken up early to go hiking once lol)

cinnamon vs nutmeg (not really a fan of either one tbh?)

reading vs writing

hot chocolate vs tea (i like both!!! bad w caffeine tho)

live in a cabin in a forest vs 24/7 autumn (not a fan of either ... CA autumn is fake & forest living is too far away from good food)

candy apples vs caramel apples (tbh i don’t really eat either one?)

blankets vs pillows (both is good ...)

roasted marshmallows vs roasted chestnuts (both ...)

coffee vs apple cider (i like coffee but again, no caffeine life)

red leaves vs orange leaves

braids vs bows (n.... neither my hair is too short + i present too masc)

scented candles vs the smell of freshly baked goods

carve pumpkins vs make pumpkin pie

pumpkin spice lattes vs chai lattes (i don’t like pumpkin)

coats vs oversized sweaters

beanies vs berets

candy corn vs peanut butter cups

s’mores vs apple crisp (b-both)

jump into a pile of leaves vs swing on a tire swing

corn maze vs haunted house

bob for apples vs visit a pumpkin patch

whipped cream on hot chocolate vs marshmallows on hot chocolate

i have really few tumblr mutuals so if you want to do this please feel free ... !

#i love anything with sugar in it jskdfhkjs #tag meme #i wrote a lot of comments wew

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seitjun · 5 years

Text

eat your heart out

freewood // 4k+ words // demon/human au

descrption: There's rumors about the house that Gavin's moving into, centering around the supernatural. But it's a free house in this economy, Gavin doesn't believe in that sort of thing, and he's polite enough to probably not piss off any supernatural creatures that do live there. Absolutely nothing could go wrong. (or in which Gavin lives in a definitely supernatural house, his friends are concerned, and Ryan is the demon who lived there first trying to get the new owner's attention. Not like Gavin notices any of it anyway.)

extra notes: this isnt serious at all, its just a cheesy horror romcom which is the best genre really. for @viridianchance who created this fuckin fantastic idea.

also available on AO3 here!

The Texas heat pounds against Gavin’s body, and with no clouds in sight, the sun’s rays are full force. Even after years of residence, the heat is still his worst enemy after living in muggy London. It worsens with spring melting into summer being a nasty occasion for allergies, and he scowls as he steps out of the car. He has to peer through squinted, watery eyes at the building they’ve stopped by.

It’s a fairly large home, complete with two levels and a wide front porch, white paint splashed everywhere. A grey, cement path leads from their parking job to wind around the side and back; an odd place for a garage, but at least the path is decorated by colorful planters and shrubs. At the front of the home, windows litter the entire plane and light up what little they see of the interior.

The house isn’t bad on the outside, but it is an impressive difference from Gavin’s old home. It’s almost got a Southern farmhouse charm, Gavin muses, when a low whistle and some gravelly steps creep up. It takes Gavin out of his examination of the house, peripherals catching the sight of tattooed arms.

“Your grandfather gave you...this?” Geoff mumbles under his breath, eyes running over the house. He shoves his hands in his pockets – an indicator of a less than pleasant thought running in his mind, as Gavin’s learned over the years. Geoff looks dubious. “Are you sure this is the right place?”

Gavin rolls his eyes, nudging Geoff’s shoulder. “It’s the only house in this area of the land, you twat. Used to be a literal farmhouse, but when Grandad bought it in retirement days, he turned it into this.”

He can see Geoff process the information slowly, before the man shakes his head in disbelief. It’s not an incorrect reaction, really.

“It’s just that...this house doesn’t look like what I expected. I mean, your crazy bastard of a grandfather raved about hauntings here before he had to be carted off,” Geoff says. “I thought it’d look more...rusted and abandoned. Like a place that Alfredo wouldn’t enter, calling it a ‘white people horror movie’ again.”

Geoff pauses. His eyes rove around the building frequently, unable to reconnect Gavin’s grandfather’s stories with the polished home. “Guy went mental for the last decade of his life about demons. And now, he’s actually passing it down to one of his grandkids? Full offense, Gav, it doesn’t sound like a good thing honestly.”

Gavin is by no means a strong believer in the supernatural (not like Geoff), but he’s not stupid enough to completely cross of their existence. The supernatural is just like the extraterrestrial in his eyes – no ways to prove them, no ways to disprove them. It’s just him and his belief, and the truth is that there is no truth. The only proveable thing here is Gavin’s unwillingness to be an asshole to potential creatures who could fuck him over.

“It’s a nice house, I’ll give your grandpa that, but fuck. There must’ve been some truth to what was spouting off before he died! The house hadn’t managed to be bought by anyone here for a reason.” Geoff grimaces. He runs a hand through scruffy hair, concern laced in his twisted expression, before he crosses it across his chest. His leg is jittering, posture tense, and eyes unable to stop watching everywhere; he looks ready to bolt.

Gavin looks over the house again – takes in the white color with blue accents, the tall and graceful beauty it objectively is. In another universe, people would’ve been fighting for a chance to own the home; Gavin would have even called the place homey enough to start a life there, a soft charm hidden in the place and large enough to host a nuclear family. His grandad did a good job of building the place.

But as it stands, Gavin’s internal praise clashes with the horrific ravings from a man on his deathbed. The same man who built a home with bare hands and destroyed it with his delusions.

“I know you’ve already paid for the movers, and the truck is coming soon, but…” Geoff pauses, mulling over his words. If the situation hadn’t been so fraught with the unknown, Gavin would have poked fun at the constipated expression. “You don’t have to move into the house, y’know? You could have just accepted it from your man’s will, but let it rot unused. Hell, I don’t mind paying for more movers to truck your stuff back to my place.”

“Aw, Geoffrey, you’re really that concerned for me that you’d pay for something?”

Geoff flicks Gavin’s nose, and he huffs when Gavin whines to clutch at the affected area. “Don’t be a baby, it was barely anything.” He rests his hands on his waist, looking imposing for once; a protective nature and fear of the unknown could do wonders to people. “I’m afraid of anything supernatural, and I don’t like the thought of you living where there could be something like it lingering here. Maybe it’s Southern superstition, but…”

“Geoffrey–”

“Look, maybe I’m coming off as too much but I don’t want you dying on me. You’re basically my kid, Gav, and I’m already a crybaby at the thought of you moving out. I don’t want to be an even bigger crybaby at your funeral.”

Something inside Gavin sobers up at hearing Geoff sound so genuine. Living with Geoff for nearly a decade now, he’s closer to Geoff than anyone else; he knows Geoff’s love language is all about what he does for people, not what he says. For Geoff to voice out such a sentiment, his concern is strong and raw, ready to take any hits for Gavin’s sake. Geoff has always been like that, fatherly and protective in the oddest yet kindest ways.

Gavin bumps their shoulders, keeps close by his surrogate father’s side with a small and crooked grin, and he gives a quick, one-armed hug. Gavin hopes he looks reassuring but judging from the snort on Geoff’s end, he must have missed the target by a mile. Whatever it takes to lift the worry, he reasons for now, even if Geoff will make fun of his face later, when they’re less afraid and more sure.

“I’m not gonna die here, and you’re not getting rid of me that quickly,” Gavin says. “Plus you’re so attached to me that you’re gonna visit me almost every weekend. You’ll keep me alive, if so I only avoid you being mad at me!”

Geoff raises a brow at the assumption, but Gavin finds no sign of denial coming from his end. Instead, there’s an exasperated expression encased in a fondness Gavin’s been used to ever since he started to live with the older. Familiar and reassuring, Gavin doesn’t feel bad at the smirk that’s tugging his lips when Geoff slings an arm around him.

“You really will miss me, huh? I can see it written all over your face.”

“Shut the fuck up. We almost had a decent family moment for once there before we gotta start moving your shit in.”

“Geoffrey, c’mon– Agh, not a noogie! I just fixed my hair this morning! Shit, that hurts!”

////

“Look, you probably deserved that noogie. You just won’t tell me what you did for Geoff to give you one.”

Michael’s voice is tinny over the phone speaker, but the blase tone of his voice is near palpable. He doesn’t seem even bothered by the update, the faint clicking of a controller managing to travel to Gavin’s side; he sounds more annoyed at the death of his character than Gavin’s pain.

“ Michael, that’s mean. You were supposed to be my best friend, my boi,” Gavin whines, leaning close to the phone set on the counter for Michael to hear his misery more clearly. First it’s cleaning dishes after a late dinner and failed game of rock-paper-scissors, and now it’s a best friend betraying him. “You’re supposed to be on my side!”

“Yeah, well, Geoff’s my boss here,” Michael scoffs. “And besides, it’s ‘cus I’m your best friend that I can say that shit. I know you, and I know you like to act like a dumbass.”

“Oi!”

“Look, why else would you live in the house your crazy grandfather left you? Which, by the way, real fucked up considering the stories he told you. Did he hate you or something?” Michael questions.

“W-What? No, he liked me a lot!” A flustered splutter escapes, and Gavin yelps as he nearly drops a plate into the sink; first night here, he doesn’t want to already face a casualty on top of the haunted comments. “Michael, you almost made me drop a plate!”

“Not my fault, butterfingers. I was just askin’ a real question, because your grandad said too much detail for that stuff to not be real.” Michael pauses, and Gavin can’t hear any of the old game noises from before; Michael must have paused the game too. “I don’t believe in it, just like you. But I mean...evidence is evidence, y’know, man?”

And that’s something, isn’t it? Even Michael is hesitant of the place – brave, invincible Michael with more than enough skepticism and with no bone afraid of anything the world throws at him.

With a sigh, Gavin shuts the water off and sets the plate down, lest he nearly drops it again. He shuts his eyes, and he tries to figure out what to say when he’s both for and against the points that both Michael and Geoff had brought up already. It doesn’t help his pounding head, the thought that this house is beginning to feel like a nightmare so soon.

“Speaking ‘bout the house, how is it so far? Any bloody handprints anywhere, or maybe even a few dirt patches in the backyard?” Michael chuckles, an obvious attempt in trying to lift the mood. “Didn’t you say your grandpa left all the original furniture there too? Is it bloodied?”

Gavin turns to lean against the counter, only to wince when he sees the spilled water soaking into his shirt. “What’s your obsession with bloody furniture? Yeah, there’s furniture in rooms like the living room, dining room, patio, but nothing bad. Though the office upstairs has only bare furniture, while the guest bedroom doesn’t have anything!”

“Please tell me you’re going to make Geoff sleep there, on the floor, because that’s fucking cruel but funny.”

“Michael, please,” Gavin scoffs, “I’m making Geoff sleep in the single, furnished bedroom. The one used by my own granddad, before he had to move out to get help.”

Michael barks out a laugh from the other end, and it’s an infectious, bright sort of thing. It makes Gavin feel better against all the supernatural inconvenience about the house.

“You’re colder than I thought,” Michael finally utters through the dregs of his amusement. He settles down with a soft sigh, sounding more serious. “But really, you gonna be okay? You get scared easily in video games, I don’t want you to die of fright in that house, boi.”

A small smile tugs at Gavin’s lips despite the slight swell of exhaustion. As tiring the concerns would get soon, he appreciates the thought from some of his closest friends. Most of them would have never said it in such blunt terms – not when they could express it in punches, noogies, or general tackling. But this situation, the ‘moving about two hours away to a house with evil rumors’ isn’t very much the usual.

“Don’t worry, boi. I should be fine, since I don’t completely believe in that shite. Not yet anyway, I guess if this stuff keeps coming up,” Gavin hums. He gets back to washing the remaining dishes from the earlier takeout dinner, only to get stuck on a piece of stubborn dirt. “Besides, I also have Geoff to use a meatshield.”

A snort of laughter from the other end.

“The guy signs my paychecks, don’t let him die! Not until he gives me a promotion.” Michael sounds relaxed now, and the noises of a video game play again. “Maybe the demon could help a guy out here with some money. Like, I dunno, make a deal or–”

Thud!

Gavin startles at the noise from upstairs, even more so when it’s followed by a slew of loud cursing. The surprise morphs into fear, and Gavin chucks the plate into the sink, previous concern of breaking it disappearing, as he grabs his phone and sprints up the stairs. His eyes are wide as he follows the yells and almost runs into a doorway, worried about what he might find.

“What the fuck? What the hell was that? Gav?”

Their previous conversation is playing back in his head, Geoff’s anxiety in high definition while Gavin had brushed off the reasonable worries. Thoughts of oh shit, what if, and oh god run as if they’re the credits of a movie, and they blur together like how the world does as Gavin makes his way to Geoff in his soon-to-be office.

His heart thudding and eyes wide, the fact that he only finds Geoff squatted and swearing at a camera on the ground is anti-climactic. Thankfully so, considering the multiple concerns about the house, but Gavin can’t help the groan escaping him. He can already hear the start of Michael’s concerned bitching, asking for some sort of answer with expletives about being a British asshole and an Alabaman douchebag.

Out of all the things to happen here—

“Geoff, you bastard, I thought…” Gavin pauses to catch his breath, to calm himself down before he has an aneurysm. “I thought you got taken hostage by a demon or something!”

Geoff’s head jerks up at Gavin’s voice. It takes a moment for the surprise to be washed away with annoyance, processing what Gavin had just said. He waves a fist at Gavin, “Don’t make that sort of jokes with me right now, Gav! I thought I was actually gonna die when I heard the noise.” He grunts, gesturing wildly, “But turns out it was just this fuckin’ camera falling. Scared the shit out of me.”

Gavin shuts his eyes; he doesn’t get mad, not easily at least, but his composure had been slowly being scraped away every minute he spent in the house. Turning away to put off dealing with Geoff for now, he focuses on the still anger-fueled yelling on his phone.

“Gav? Geoff? I swear to fucking god, you better not be playing a prank on me in that demon bitch of a house–!”

“Michael, it’s fine, Michael,” Gavin’s quick to reassure, running a hand through his hair, “it was just Geoff dropping something. We just...got terrified after all the talk of a haunted house, I guess.”

“Really? Jesus Christ, I thought you found a dead body or something! And didn't you say you didn't believe in that shit, like seconds ago?”

“If we did, I’d be screaming, boi,” Gavin says, purposefully ignoring the last tidbit. He hazards a glance back at Geoff, and he huffs when the older man refuses to meet his eyes. “Michael, I’ll call you back after, okay? I gotta talk to Geoff about what happened, and it’s obvious that we’re a little jittery about stuff right now.”

Without waiting for a reply, Gavin ends the call. He’s been friends with Michael long enough to know that the other man’s going to be pissed and will tear him to shreds tomorrow, but that’s a tomorrow issue. That’s for future Gavin to survive, while present Gavin has to deal with an uncomfortable Geoff.

“Sorry ‘bout that, bud,” is the first thing to spill from Geoff’s mouth, less panicked and more sorrowful. He picks up the fallen tech, and his thumbs gently examine the outer shell of the camera, running over every groove to catch any possible damage. “I thought I put the camera in the middle of the desk, but I guess I bumped into it pretty hard.”

He looks over it once more with a furrowed brow, before he hands it back to Gavin. Geoff shoves his hands in his pockets and tries to avoid eye contact with Gavin, tries to stay away from any more contact with the camera. “I don’t see any outside pieces ruined at least. Maybe it was more of a loud noise than actual damage.”

Gavin pores over every part he can see with a pointed intensity, his fingers examining the sensitive planes. There’s a thin scratch right at the corner, and he figures that’s where it must have come into contact with the floor first; at least nothing popped off or went screwy, he thinks as he fiddles with clicky buttons and rolling adjusters. A moment later, he boots the camera up, finding nothing wrong with the screen — thankfully — before he takes a candid shot of Geoff without warning.

“Woah! Gavin, what the fuck?”

“This dumb photo of you is your payment for dropping my camera, Geoffrey,” Gavin grins. No damage done, no reason to stay mad. It’s one less thing to worry about after the flurry of shit that this house has left on Gavin’s life already. “Besides, had to check if the photo taking was okay or not! Nothing bad, luckily.”

He turns the camera to show the preview screen on the back; in bright digital record, Geoff’s face is contorted into a horrible confused and fucked-up expression as his movements blur him partially. The flash had been on too, and it illuminates all the wrong curves of Geoff’s face. “Well, besides your face at least. But hey! This should be your photo on the company site. What a trustworthy face of a founder of a multimillion company.”

“Gavin, don’t you dare send this to Burnie–”

“I’ll think about it,” he interrupts. “Besides, maybe the photo will expose the demon or ghost supposedly living here with me. What if it ends up behind you in the photo?”

“Don’t fuckin’ say that, dickhead!”

Geoff shudders at the mention of the supernatural stories of the area, eyes glaring at the empty space of the office and shoulders hunching up. It’s almost as if he believes he could see whatever was terrorizing the place with a dirty look, maybe even cleanse it with his fear scent and fatherly protection of Gavin.

Gavin ignores the glare, and he continues to peer at the image of Geoff. It really does look like a photo he can use against the older man for pranks, but his brows furrow when he catches something that shouldn’t be present. A quick swipe to remove dirt from the screen and rapid blinking to clear his sight yields no change.

His eyes can’t tear itself away from the corners of the photo where shadows almost form a vignette around Geoff. Dark and misty, its presence is almost ominous with the rumors from his grandfather bolstering a small curiosity inside him. But a shake of his head to dispel those thoughts, and Gavin is back to a normal looking photo – no shadows present.

He frowns, but he doesn’t question it; it must have been his earlier jab at Geoff getting into his head. It’s probably nothing but a damaged internal piece he can’t reach for now or a few dead pixels on the screen, forming after the camera’s fall. No need to dwell on it or worry Geoff about what Gavin just witnessed or hallucinated; Gavin can stay a skeptic for tonight.

////

Gavin wakes up late the next day after staying up until two am to finish setting up his bedroom. Though bedroom is giving it more credit than it’s actually worth if he’s honest, Gavin grumbles.

He sits up from his mattress on the floor, and there’s a dull ache running down the length of his back, near his spine. A few twists and cracks of his body settle the ache down, but sleeping on the hardwood floor with a thin mattress isn’t doing his back any favors. He doesn’t want to focus on the impending inevitability of aging, and just thanks the world for letting him get some good sleep.

Busy from his sudden, morning crisis, Gavin hadn’t looked around his room. It’s not until he stands up, rubbing at his eyes and scratching a patch of his happy trail, that he realizes what a fucking mess it’s turned to.

Almost every box of his personal items is opened, its contents strewn about in a haphazard manner — as if someone had been rummaging through them to search for something that they themselves didn’t know. Clothes, books, personal hygiene; anything he could think of, there was at least one item of it littered the floor. And looking around, Gavin fears all of his socks have lost their matching significant other. The worst part of the entire scene, really.

He groans, wondering why Geoff had to pull a stunt like that already. Did he really think that he could get away with it? Who else is there in the house besides them? The demon?

Gavin yells with a frown, “Geoffrey!” His brows are furrowed as he stumbles out the doorway, still groggy and waking up. He hears the thundering footsteps coming up the stairs, and he pulls a half-hearted scowl as he meets Geoff’s eyes. “D’you really pull a prank on me this morning? Now my entire room is a mess, Geoff, and it didn’t look like that when I went to bed!”

Geoff reels back. “Huh, the fuck you mean I pulled a prank? If I wanted to pull a prank, I would’ve signed my name on it and drawn a dick,” he defends. “When would I’ve had the time to do it anyway? I’ve been busy all day unpacking shit and cooking you lunch, asshole!”

“Then how did this happen, when I opened the one box to get to my clothes?!” Gavin steps out of the doorway and gestures behind him, arms flailing in wild arcs and an irritated temperament. “I fell asleep in a clean room!”

Geoff pokes his head through, and Gavin sees the way Geoff’s eyes widen; he turns his head every which way, taking in the state of the bedroom, before he hears the muttered swear under Geoff’s breath. They trade glances and vague gestures, as if it’d clear up whatever happened or maybe even the room itself. It’s after a minute when Gavin pauses and finally realizes the slow building confusion on Geoff’s face.

“Christ...you didn’t do it, did you?” It’s posed as a question, but there’s nothing uncertain in his tone. He falters, staggering back to press his hands to his face and leaning against the wall next to his bedroom door. “So, then it had to be me? But I really did only open up the one box for sleep clothes…”

He mumbles incoherently trying to track down exactly what he did yesterday, going so far to count all the different actions on his fingers.

“Look, Gavvers, it wasn’t me for sure, but if you don’t remember doing it, it might not be you either,” Geoff says. He fiddles with the constantly present bracelets on his wrists at Gavin’s inquiring look. “I know there’s only the two of us here, so shit dictates that it had to be one of us who did this. But maybe shit was wrong, and there could be a way to not be us?”

Gavin squints. It takes a moment for his brain to process stuff. “What are you on about? I just woke up, and I’m still too tired for this, Geoffrey–”

“What is there to not get? I’m saying it could be the actual demon or ghost or whatever living here! It’s trying to fuck with us, or get us out of here!”

“Geoff,” Gavin whines. He doesn’t have the energy to deal with this right now, even if he did just wake up from a decently long sleep; hell, he doesn’t have the energy to deal with anything supernatural now or ever. Again, he doesn’t believe in them, not like how Geoff does, and he hasn’t done anything to piss anyone off besides Geoff himself — there’s no way it could be a demon or whatever. He’d be dead by now.

All it took was a good sleep to remind him of that after yesterday's fiasco and Michael's question. There probably is nothing unusual here, just paranoia.

“It probably was just me, alright? And no, no, don’t give me that look,” he huffs, giving up on his counting fingers mission to cross his arms. “I’ve sleep walked before, done some weird crap during it, and this might be one of those moments. You’ve seen how forgetful I could be sometimes, even if I did do this before I slept last night.”

Geoff still looks wary. His eyes can’t stop darting between Gavin and the trashed room. “I’m just saying it could be a possibility, so we can both be aware of it,” he reasons as he reaches to hold onto Gavin’s wrist gently. “It doesn’t hurt to be careful, kid. I’ve always been told horror stories of the supernatural, and there ain’t no way at least one story isn’t true.”

The irritation and the fight leave Gavin, almost as if a deflating balloon, and Gavin feels smaller standing next to Geoff, like a kid again. Feels more exhausted at the simple sight of Geoff being fearful and worried for his life, but Gavin understands.

It’s exactly like yesterday’s situation when Gavin had stormed up the stairs to get to Geoff after the thud, his closeness with the man fueling his own protective urges. He can’t blame Geoff for it when Gavin had the same reaction, and if anything, it means more — fearful, superstitious Geoff is willing to stay with Gavin in the haunted house just to keep him safe.

"Okay, I’ll be more careful and open about this whole...supernatural business. It probably isn’t anything, but if it’ll keep the gray hairs off you,” Gavin concedes. "You might have to start dyeing your hair, if something does happen!"

Geoff rolls his eyes, but he tucks Gavin close to his side, cheek resting against Gavin’s temple. “You’re such a piece of shit, I can’t believe I agreed to come out here,” he chuckles. He drags Gavin with him down the stairs, humming, “Alright, time to eat lunch now! All the food’s probably gone cold now though, and I’m blaming you for it.”

“Geoff!”

Their bickering continues all the way down the stairs and into the dining room, and the bedroom door behind them closes shut.

#freewood #rtah #ragehappy #seiju writes #i didnt beta this much please forgive my mistakes and just general awful writing

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seitjun · 5 years

Text

taste the sunshine on my lips

3200+ words // freewood // fahc au

Description: In the midst of a Los Santos heatwave with broken air conditioning, there’s really no other plan that matches up going to the beach. And who knows what else may come of it.

Extra notes: This is the third part of the ’Romance for Dummies’ series, and that link will direct you to previous installments of the series. This is a smaller part, but it’s a small snack for the next possible part c;!

AO3 link is also available here! Fic is under a read more.

Summer in Los Santos is a dry, heated thing that crashes over the whole city. Ryan hears Gavin whining as he drapes himself over the sill of the open window of his apartment — there’s still no wind passing by to ease the heat.

“This is absolute rubbish, Ryan! Of all the days for it to be sucky...” Gavin turns to face Ryan with a groaned sigh as his hand acts as the world’s worst fan. More sweat garners the longer he fakes the fanning, so he gives in after a moment and takes to tugging at his shirt instead. He grimaces, “I’m all yucky and gross.”

Ryan tosses a glance back, feeling his own shirt cling to the sweat-soaked skin of his back. It is disgusting and unfortunate. He matches Gavin’s expression as he stares at the broken thermostat that mocks them with its lie of 70 degrees fahrenheit; it’s not supposed to make them sweat this badly, is it? Either way, Ryan’s sure he can’t commit a crime as bad as the air conditioning breaking during a heat wave.

He gnaws at his lower lip, trying to ignore the rising temperature of the room or the daze his mind is falling into. The background noise of soft, Gavin whining isn’t helping either. He’s scrambling for a solution, a quick one to get them both of this godforsaken heat and not spend their day together unhappy.

So without thinking, he blurts out the first, sensible idea he can voice: “Let’s go to the beach.”

“Huh?”

Ryan’s face turns pink at Gavin’s confusion, all fanning motions paused, and Ryan shrugs lamely; he can already feel himself wanting to melt into the floor at the stupid suggestion of his. Even more than the temperature already is. “It’s hot inside with a broken air conditioner, so we shouldn’t stay here. We could go into a different building, but they might yell at us for loitering.” He tries to explain.

“Christ, let’s not risk that then. Managers here are terrifying,” Gavin agrees with a wince. Old, suppressed memories bubble up and instill a familiar fear in him for a moment. Ryan sympathizes.

“So, no indoors stuff unless we actually stay there for a reason. But because it’s a weekday anyway, since we aren’t exactly… people with normal working hours, let’s go to the beach. We can enjoy how empty it is for once.” A pause. “Plus beaches are fun, if you can swim.”

Ryan aims a quirked brow towards Gavin, but he says nothing more. And it takes a second for Gavin to recognize the unsaid question, yet Ryan can see the moment it all clicks into place. From a confused tilt of his head to the wide-eyed realization to a glare accompanied by a pouting intention.

“What was that tone supposed to be, Ry? You know you didn’t have to say it like that!”

“I mean, just to be safe here, but… Hey, hold on, why are you fronting on me? Gav? Gavin, no–!”

A burst of noise escapes Ryan as he blocks against the tickling assault from Gavin, a broad hand easily gripping two, thin wrists. He grunts when Gavin twists around in his grip, but he keeps it locked around as he brings his free arm to wrap around Gavin and barely budges when Gavin keeps squirming in his grip. And for as much as Ryan hates using his size difference against Gavin, he can’t deny the satisfaction at keeping Gavin on lockdown so easily.

“Y’know,” Ryan starts, no sign of exhaustion present, “I don’t think the issue is how I said it since I didn’t really say anything, if we’re being technical here.”

Ryan feels more than hear the puff of exasperation from Gavin, and he tightens his hold on the smaller man. More squirming and writhing until Ryan finally feels Gavin get tired from the unexpected tussle.

Despite the earlier rumble, Ryan watches how Gavin eventually snuggles closer into the tight hold and burrows into the crook of Ryan’s neck; strands of messy, blonde hair tickle his collarbone, and soft lips graze his skin to leave butterfly trails. Ryan huffs out a laugh at the sensation before Gavin pinches him lightly in retribution. It hurts not at all compared to the litany of scars his body boasts, but it twists his stomach in a familiar, aching way.

“Glad you know I’m right then.” Ryan grins as he finally lets go of Gavin’s wrist, hand sliding down to settle on Gavin’s waist with the other. He tries to ignore how his heart flutters at how Gavin’s arms wrap around his neck without hesitation. Hides it by kissing the top of a blonde head gently. “You didn’t respond though, about going to the beach. Yay or nay, bud?”

“You sound like a middle-aged dad saying that,” Gavin grumbles. A single eye peeks out from his hiding place, green and bright. “But a day at the beach...doesn’t sound too bad. This could be one of our dates, yeah?”

Ryan rolls his eyes, pretending that his heartbeat isn’t skyrocketing out of his chest. How Gavin goes with it easily, even makes it better by calling it a date without hesitation. Even months of being boyfriends, of going on dates that never get boring, Ryan still feels the same, nervous fluttering of excitement from the first time.

He doesn’t think he’ll ever get over the feeling – he hopes he never does.

“Yeah,” Ryan replies finally. His voice is dry, a little scratchy, and he shakes his head at Gavin’s concerned expression. “Don’t worry, just my voice being shitty. But yeah. Let’s head to the beach.”

“I feel like this is forbidden, being at the beach when there’s no one here,” Gavin comments with a shudder. “Something is off here without all the people hoarding every piece of sand.”

Ryan glances over the span of the beach he can see behind his sunglasses, seeing an entire expanse of sand for once. The closest group of people he can see is far away, and he’s sure there’s less than 10 people there. Plus there’s no ugly towels or obnoxious umbrellas littering the floor, no people to have to constantly apologize to while stepping over them. No worries about trash being left behind by assholes.

So, as weird as it is and as much as Ryan agrees at the feeling Gavin points out, he doesn’t hate it. This is way better than a normal day at the beach, usually overly crowded with annoying pests of people.

“Eh, could be worse. C’mon, let’s go grab a spot before some nasty family snatches it from us,” Ryan jokes, nudging Gavin’s shoulder. It earns him a disgruntled look, but he pays it no mind – he cheerfully ambles toward a spot close enough to the waves without getting soaked by them. “See? Look at that, we have one of the best seats in the house!”

His smile is blinding even as Gavin slinks up to him slowly with an fond sigh at his joke. With a hum, he drops the two towels he had been lugging around to roll it out before gesturing towards his boyfriend. He watches Gavin drop a small cooler they had scrounge up at Ryan’s home, along with a small bag filled with Gavin’s personal stuff and some of Ryan’s that he managed to cram in there.

“This isn’t too bad, yeah?” Ryan turns to level a hopeful look towards Gavin as if an invisible tail is wagging behind him. A small smile is still playing on his lip, waiting for praise at what a brilliant outing this is already turning out to be.

Gavin quirks a brow, but he can’t stifle the smile that threatens to creep up on his own face. He rises on his tip toes, hands cupping Ryan’s cheeks, to pepper kisses across Ryan’s nose and cheeks. Gavin swears if he looks a little harder, he can see said tail thumping even more excitedly as Ryan’s face explodes with joy.

“It’s great, lovely Ryan,” Gavin compliments, placing one last kiss on the tip of Ryan’s nose. “Now, hurry up. We went to the beach to cool off, not stand around and get sweaty!”

Ryan huffs as Gavin pulls away, hands lamely reaching out for the other. He watches how Gavin darts away from his space with a cheeky smirk, hands already tugging off his shirt and the loosest pair of jeans he could find earlier. Ryan wants so badly to take Gavin’s hands for himself and hold it for however long he can, original plan be damned. Sweat is a small price to pay for hand holding.

But then Gavin’s left in just his swim trunks, hidden under his pants, rest of his body out for the world to see, and just – oh. Ryan can’t help admire Gavin; the tanned skin that looks bright at home under the sun, the trail of heavy patches of hair that run down his chest to his trunks, and the small stature that Ryan knows holds more intensity than some of his old contacts.

Distantly, he processes the prideful look that streaks itself across Gavin’s face, but he can’t be assed to mention it right now. He’s busy short circuiting at the sight of Gavin, his hands twitching with the need to hold his boyfriend close. He wants to touch, to hold– to just do anything that Gavin would let him do.

It’s too crude to say he’s drooling, but well. He is.

“Rybread, you’re starin’,” Gavin giggles, crowding into Ryan’s space again. Ryan feels the gentle weight that rests on his chest as Gavin’s hands settles there, eyes gleaming with fondness, and his heart races into overtime at the other’s affection. He’s overwhelmed with it all as Gavin pushes and pushes up against him, trying to take it all in stride. “Didn’t your folks ever teach you that starin’ is bad?”

“I, uh, huh? Wh…” Ryan barely manages to say, voice tight and just short of squeaky. He blinks down at Gavin, looking lost almost. “Sorry, Gav, I just got...distracted? Uh…”

An awful excuse. One that Ryan can tell doesn’t make it past Gavin, considering the quirked brow and the smug grin playing on pink lips. He opens his mouth to come up with a new explanation, only to be cut off by Gavin.

“Y’know, ‘s mean of you to not pay attention to your own boyfriend, Ry.” Gavin pouts as he leans his head against Ryan’s chest, looking up with big, doe eyes. It’s naive-looking, those overly innocent eyes.

It’s enough for Ryan to snap out of his haze, stare narrowing; Gavin only pulls out that look when it’s two very specific situations. One is when he’s trying to get away with something, and he thinks he can win Ryan’s forgiveness early. The other is when Gavin is up to something that Ryan may or may not forgive, and shit–

It’s too late when Ryan realizes he could suddenly feel a cold wetness slosh at his feet. His eyes widen, body jerking at the water and arms flailing; he opens his mouth to scold Gavin only for his breath to be cut short, a pair of hands shoving him away with more force than expected–

“Gavin!”

Ryan shudders as he hits the water, chilling to the bone and weighing him down with all his soaked clothes. He glares at the blurry sight of Gavin squeaking in laughter over the water, and he launches himself out of the ocean to sit up with a frown. He’s fucking drenched in freezing saltwater. Loudly, Gavin’s amusement rings in his ears – or maybe that was the water rushing in?

Either way, he isn’t standing for this. Not at all.

With a scowl, Ryan’s hands darts outs to reach Gavin’s hips. He ignores the bloodcurdling scream that follows as he yanks his boyfriend down, screeching all the way down with a loud, full-bodied splash that soaks Ryan even more.

“W-What the– Ryan! You absolute prick, Ryan!”

Gavin splutters through the ocean water dripping all over him, spitting at the salty taste. He shoves at Ryan’s chest – no heat or force like before – with a quiet whine, lips framed into a perfect textbook pout that usually had Ryan giving in. Would’ve been far more effective if Gavin didn’t look like a drowned cat sentenced to another bath.

“You deserved that, and you know it. Don’t try to pout your way out of this one, bastard!”

“Ryan!”

Ryan pays no mind to Gavin’s yelp as he dunks Gavin under the water with him again, bringing them up for a split second only to press his cold nose to Gavin’s collarbone. Hides a small grin and tightens his grip as smaller hands scrabble to move away from him, to no avail. “You take the consequence, Gavvy, or else!”

The need for revenge is fast replaced with a joyful childishness as Gavin manages to pull away, free hands instantly dipping in the water to splash Ryan. He’s pouting the entire time, but he’s content to bat water and block against Ryan’s retaliations, sitting on Ryan’s lap still.

Ryan’s smile doesn’t drop the whole time. Even when he’s had enough saltwater getting into his eyes, he just reaches for Gavin’s wrists to hold onto them gently; he leaves a trail of kisses on Gavin’s palms, before he twines their hands together. Fingers interlock over fingers, the hold reassuring and warm amidst the chill.

Blue eyes meet green ones, and Ryan swears that it knocks his breath away. Bright and sparkling, under the sun, it turns into priceless, peridot beauties; no jewelry store in Los Santos could Ryan ever rob to find anything to match Gavin’s eyes. Not when said gems radiate so much affection for Ryan, a fondness that’s only rivalled by Ryan’s own for his boyfriend.

Ryan is sure he’s getting lost in Gavin’s eyes, a cheesy joke about needing a map lingering on his tongue; who cares if it feels like one of those cliche movies that he’s used to make fun of before meeting Gavin. His heart is faster than the speed of light, and he wonders if Gavin can hear how loud it’s beating just for him.

With the little distance between them, slowly waning as they stay in their positions, Ryan’s eyes roam everywhere it can on Gavin’s features — the messy hair, defined nose, and faint tufts of a slowly-growing beard. Even the the little nicks from the most recent shaving session are met with a sense of endearment. His heart aches at how much he adores every detail of Gavin’s.

Then his gaze trails over to Gavin’s lips, soft-looking and pink and eye catching as sunshine hits the lingering water drops just perfectly. Ryan can’t resist the urge to bring a hand up and settle his thumb gently against Gavin’s lower lip, a strong chanting of want want want echoing in his head. His stomach is a twisted flurry of butterflies waiting for an escape, for Ryan to make a move he’s been aching for a while but could never place.

Until now.

“Gavin…” Ryan whispers. Low and quiet, his chest rumbling with the words as affection swells up in his chest. His hand drifts to cup Gavin’s cheek, and his brows furrow as he darts up to make eye contact with Gavin again, watches how his lover’s head tilts just the slightest bit in pure curiosity. No judgement, no teasing lilt, no nothing.

This is Ryan’s moment.

“Gavin,” Ryan repeats. “Can...can I kiss you? Please?”

To his own ears, he sounds meek and small. In a way, it’s not wrong – not when this relationship with Gavin, albeit being the best damn thing in his life so far, is still wholly new to him. Months of courtship, of dating, of just learning to be comfortable doesn’t erase his inexperience with this whole thing he’s got going on, doesn’t erase how there’s so much he doesn’t know.

Being a criminal makes him a wanted man to the police but not to anybody else. And he would’ve lived that life until his untimely death without regrets, even if his loneliness caught up with him eventually, because crime is a love of its own.

Not until that fateful bank heist, the momentary locking gazes, and impulsive actions on both their sides. An eventual spiral into what they have now.

“Lovely Ryan,” Gavin crows so sweetly, the best sort of distraction from Ryan’s rambling thoughts. “‘Course you can kiss me.”

And on God, Ryan does.

The first sensation Ryan registers is the briney taste of the ocean, sharp and strong on his tongue. The second is how warm Gavin’s lips are, how Ryan can feel a fire being stoked from their meeting lips and running through his body. How Ryan is properly vindicated when he realizes Gavin’s lips feel as soft as they look, Ryan’s hands feeling at home on Gavin’s skin.

The kiss is pliant and slow and chaste, Gavin so willing to let Ryan take the lead. Ryan thinks this might be the closest thing he’ll ever get to being in heaven, but he wonders if the actual heaven could ever be as good as this.

Ryan’s eyes are half-lidded when he finally pulls away from Gavin, foreheads leaning against each other’s and their nosetips grazing just barely. Ryan can’t help feeling overwhelmed as Gavin lets out little bursts of giggles that accompany innocent eskimo kisses.

“I think it’s cute seeing you like this, Ry,” Gavin smiles. He’s breathless and in awe, and Ryan is weak for it. “I like that you’re more comfortable with me, but seeing you still get flustered at times...it reminds me when we just started to go on dates. I never stood a chance against not liking you, lovely Ryan.” Gavin’s eyes never strays away from Ryan’s as he cuddles up, lips pulled up into a soft curve of a smile.

“This was a good idea. One of the best dates we’ve had so far, with us kissing and beating the heat too,” Gavin teases. Still soft, still admiring. “Wouldn’t you agree?”

Ryan can’t answer, throat lodged with his heart and his chest overflowing with emotions he’s never felt. He doesn’t know how to voice anything that Gavin is expecting of him, that he’s expecting of himself either.

So, he settles for the only thing that he knows he can say. That’s been running through his mind since their moment just minutes ago.

“Gavin, please. I want to kiss you, can I kiss you? Again?” Ryan pleads wantingly. His cheeks are still pebbled with pinks and reds as they share the same space, and Ryan swears he can feel Gavin’s warm breath hit his skin in puffs. His hands clench and unclench, a trembling need existing in them. “Please.”

Gavin’s lips are curled up into a giddy grin, lopsided and crooked and so heartwarmingly genuine. His grip tightens around Ryan’s water-soaked shoulders. “If you think you can get away with only giving me one kiss, Ry, then you’re an absolute lunatic. Of course you can kiss me again, just keep kissin’ me!”

And Ryan – well, what else can he do besides dive in for another kiss he so badly wanted?

#ragehappy #fahc #freewood #seiju writes

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seitjun · 5 years

Text

take the chance, take the turn

braggvin (mattvin) // 7600+ words // racing au

Description: Running shitty people off is something Matt can claim responsibility for, but it's not Matt's fault that he keeps getting said shitty people to work with. Despite the argument, Geoff isn't having it, and soon, Matt only has one more chance to make it work. In comes someone named Gavin Free.

Extra notes: i am an absolute sucker for this rarepair, please talk to me about it!! also, i highly recommend reading this on AO3 because the notes there explain important terms.

This is posted on AO3 here ! Fic also below the cut.

(one.)

“You can’t keep going off at the team just because they said something you didn’t like, y’know. You’re starting to get a real bad rep, Matthew.”

Geoff’s arms are crossed across his chest and paired with the frown lingering on his lips, he’s not at all happy with Matt’s performance. In a rare instance, Geoff looks more like the owner of a prestigious NASCAR team that he is and less like his usual, sleepy self. On his tongue disappointment is a weapon, sharpened and poised at Matt’s throat.

They’re sat at a local bar in Florida, the location of the first race of the season, and they converse in a corner booth away from everyone else. The pit crew and other close friends had left already after a socially acceptable amount of congratulations on Matt’s win; their excuses all danced around the same reasoning of busy schedules, but no one could ignore the weight of the mounting tension between the two heads. One by one they had left, until it left just Matt and Geoff sitting across each other on opposing sides.

“It’s not cheap to run a team, ‘specially if I gotta run interference on your ass 90% of the time,” says Geoff. And if it wouldn’t land his ass in even hotter water, Matt would’ve fucked off by now – this is Geoff’s usual speech, his opening line. Matt knows the whole spiel by now, but he likes his job enough to keep silent. Even kind Geoff could be pushed past his limits. “That’s the fifth crew chief you’ve ran out in two seasons. Two! I can’t just pick any hire up from the street to be in this position.”

Matt stifles the huff that threatens to escape him, already feeling tired of the conversation. He knows that Geoff is only looking out for him – has been, ever since he was recruited by luck in that empty raceway he called home. There’s only so much a driver with a celebrity status can do before people start to turn heads and watch every action with scrutinizing eyes. Matt can’t act how he wants, and sometimes it takes a stern reminder from Geoff.

“You know I’m not trying to get a bad rep on purpose, Geoff,” Matt mumbles. He hunches over to hide, and his arms wrap around himself; he can’t find it in him to make eye contact with Geoff, not when he knows that Geoff is still always right about this topic. “You should’ve heard the guy anyway. He sounded so fuckin’ condescending!” Matt’s eyes set into a glare at the thought of the crew chief earlier, staring off into nothing. “What was he expecting? For me to listen to him when I know he’s wrong and an asshole?”

He doesn’t manage to bite back the scathing words in time, overwhelmed with the irritation and annoyance from the crew chief he made resign. By the time that Geoff has a hand at his head, thumb pressing to his temple, Matt is too late to realize that he’s stepped out of line already.

There’s a brief moment of silence that reigns between them. Cold and exhausted and foreboding – neither of them want to deal with this.

“You’re a good driver, Matthew, I’ll give you that. You won the opening race today,” Geoff finally says clippedly. He pauses as finishes the dregs of his soda, before the metal can clatters as he slams it down on the table between them, every emotion of his hiding behind the force. “But you’re acting like a brat. This wasn’t the Matthew I hired all those years ago.”

Geoff pauses there. His eyes fall shut, and Matt can see the way Geoff’s shoulders tremble as he tries to calm down – deep breath in, deep breath out. It repeats over and over again. Geoff has never wanted to be an angry man, and Matt feels guilt twist inside him for pushing Geoff so far.

It’s minutes later when Geoff opens his eyes again, looking like his usual, sleepy self again. The NASCAR team owner is a tiring personality to play, Matt knows, after being Geoff’s driver for years now. He also knows that Geoff isn’t as angry about the issue now, just more concerned, and it bleeds through in the way his brows furrow and his lips frown.

The years in this business haven’t always been kind to Geoff, and Matt can feel the beginnings of an apology on his lips.

“Get your act together. I called in an old friend of mine, Gavin Free, to act as your crew chief for the next race. You’re lucky he doesn’t know about your reputation,” Geoff informs him. Quiet, subdued. Unsettling. “Do me a favor, Matt, and try not run this one off. He’s a good friend, a better crew chief. He’ll lead you well through the rest of the season if you’d let him.”

Matt just stays silent, sobered up by the conversation. The name Gavin Free runs through his head.

(two.)

"Testing, testing. 1, 2, 3. Can you hear me, Matt?"

Matt shifts in his seat, adjusting the headset as he does so and clicks the 'Connect' button on his end, makes sure that voice is enabled at all times. He doesn’t want to put in the extra effort of clicking a button to speak each time "I hear you loud and clear. You hearing me alright?"

"Perfect!" Gavin giggles from his end, and a small sound of shuffling papers follow him. "We only have a little bit until we have to line up. Thank god you have an easy number to remember for pole position, but it does give us less time to talk really. You ready for this race?"

Matt tugs on his racing gloves and fixes up his driving suit with a soft scoff, his hands fiddling with the wrinkled spots. Less of a necessity and more of a self-comforting gesture, it's habit by now as a way to calm himself down before he gets hit with too much nervous adrenaline. "I've raced this circuit plenty of times. I'm more than ready, and I already know how to maneuver this track well. It's one of my favorites.”

There’s no clear reply to his message, just this small hum of acknowledgement, and something about it is already setting his short fuse on fire. Maybe it’s from learning to expect the worst from crew chiefs or the presence of a new person leading him, but suddenly, it feels like a slight against him. It plays a flashback to all those other crew chiefs he hated, but at least previous ones acknowledged him. What if this is a way to put him down by ignoring him?

He can’t bite his tongue. Can’t help but let the words escape: "Y'know, if you have something to say, you can say it. I'll be pissed if it's condescending, but I can't reach you until the end of the race at least."

To Matt's surprise and indignation, that manages to pull a short bark of laughter from Gavin just as squeaky as his normal voice. "Appreciate the honesty, mate. But genuinely, I don't really have much to say in response, and I was mulling what you said over anyway. As much as I appreciate Geoff for trusting in my ability to lead you, he's...forgotten that I haven't been to this track in a while," Gavin confesses. "It's good you know your way around here. I'll try my best to improve on your own tricks, just keep me in the loop if you do something more reckless, yeah?"

And Matt - he feels a funny twist of an ache in his chest at how easy Gavin's taken his words in stride. Meant to be challenging as a way to pull out the crew chief's hidden agenda towards him, piss him off while at it, Matt's unsure on what to do with a crew chief who's willing to work with him. His brain fizzles to a halt long enough that he misses the announcement for the cars to get into their lineups. It takes a knock on his window from one of his pit crew members to get his head on straight again.

"Oh, fuck, shit," he curses under his breath. That earns another laugh from Gavin's end, but it's not...condescending. Just genuninely amused. It's enough to leave Matt even more flustered and confused about this new crew chief of his that he wants to hate but can't seem to do so as easily like the others. He tries to play his bluster off, just grumbling, "This better not be a sign of how the race is gonna go. Not after I got pole position in the the Florida race..."

// // //

"Christ, I forget how exhausting watching cars race 85 laps is. People pay to watch this entire thing, and I'm still baffled by it, honestly."

Matt rolls his eyes from his seat, glad that Gavin would never know about the action. As much as it’s nice to not be constantly demeaned or ordered by a crew chief, Gavin as a crew chief means a different sort of talking -- the sort that involves inane hypotheticals and fluff filling in space where silence would be. He can't deny that he's more appreciative of this type of crew chief, but it’s grating on his nerves. All Matt wants right now is to focus.

He grunts as he turns down Gavin's volume. Not all the way or else Geoff will have his ass for being disrespectful towards the crew chief again , but just enough that he can process his own thoughts again. It's amazing how much easier it is to function when he can focus on his driving and not the mindless chatter of a charmingly idiotic man.

Taking a deep breath, he peers at the rest of his competition in front of him. His starting position hadn't been all for naught, but a sense of failure is starting to bubble up inside him; he's led about a quarter of the race laps already, but it means nothing when he's been pushed back to third position for the last ten or so. He knows that the two drivers in front of him can catch up quickly to his amount of leading laps, and if he wants to qualify into the final race, he has to be the first to cross the line.

The rumbling of his car is the loudest thing he can hear, and Matt barely manages to hear the announcers' voice from the watchtower as he crosses the line for another time: "5 laps remaining! Looks like Risinger is still in first and Gibson in second. They may be heading the rest of this race, but Bragg looks to be still hot on their tail! Can he overcome them and keep his pole position?"

Matt scowls, and his foot pushes harder on his pedal. It's becomes more dangerous as he nears the end, knows that if he doesn't up his game now, then he's only going to lose. His eyes dart around as he turns around the bend, trying to find any way to squeeze past Gibson, maybe Risinger if he’s lucky enough to catch them in a bad maneuver – even just one or two more leading laps might be enough to score him more points than them.

He’s tunnel visioning, but it's when he turns around the next curve of the race – sees the familiar indicator of a new lap on the other side of their current position – that his radio crackles to even more life. Distracts him completely so from reaching his zone.

"Matt! Matt! Can you hear me? Hellooo?"

With a huff, he turns up the volume again with some regret. "'Course I can! But I'm currently busy right now, trying to get ahead of these two, and I can't answer any bullshit questions!"

"It's not bullshit questions, first off, they’re curious situations. And second, I’m gonna tell you how to take over second position, you smegpot!" There's a shuffling sound of papers following after Gavin's exclamation. "Okay, second position? Fast driver but always way too cautious! People always fight for the inner track during turns, but Gibson doesn't always. He might play it safe next turn, so try to speed up there."

Matt raises a brow - Gavin noticed that? Even for a crew chief, things like that were difficult to spot; applying it was even more so, when racing was never stagnant. It's a dangerous suggestion, bordering on an assumption with less-than-ideal proof. Any other driver would be adverse to it, rather take the third position as a safety option and choose to hedge their bets on racing better during the next qualifying race.

“You know that’s always dangerous, speeding too fast during a turn?” Matt says, as if danger isn’t his hobby and his muse. “Might spin out of control if I’m not careful.”

“What? You don’t wanna do it? Thought that was your thing, toeing the line being competent and being a madman.”

Matt scoffs. His foot is already set to push down on the foot pedal when the turn comes. “You’d be surprised how blurred the line is between them.”

And that’s answer enough for Gavin, the way his amused hum sounds out over the radio. They both know that Matt's never been one of those other drivers; what else could the data of resigned crew chiefs dictate? “Better prove it to me then!"

Gavin’s words only brings a wild grin to his lips, and suddenly, Matt’s car is shooting forward towards second position as fast as his adrenaline is rising. Any sign of nervousness is imperceptible behind the excitement of such a plan, and then he's honing, honing, honing in-

His car's tire screeches against the road, high and shrill as he takes that turn too fast, too messily. He's usually more graceful than this, but he can't find it in himself to care, this little bit of recklessness, when there's only one car in front of him instead of two; a quick glance at the rearview mirror and an ear trained towards the audience only confirms his success.

“And would you look at that? Ramsey’s driver is proving himself once again, to be one of biggest threats of the competition. That was one hell of a maneuver there,” the announcers chuckle.

"Woohoo, Matt! That was both the world's shittiest and best turn ever!" Gavin exclaims, and the radio crackles with the volume. “Not too shabby, honestly.”

"Shut the fuck up, Gavin," Matt says, but he's grinning too much to feel any real bitterness. His heart is still beating fast from the rush, and the surprise from the crowd only fuels it. Second position is miles better than third, but he's still gunning for first. "Look, you got any more of that shit for first position? Any way to pass him by?"

"Why, Matthew, I thought you'd never ask." Matt can practically hear the cheshire grin that must be playing on Gavin's lips. "You sure your car can handle the last laps without that original pit stop? Because I'm going to need you to go as fast as you can."

And well, what else can Matt do but go full speed? After all, it's what the crew chief requested of him to do.

(three.)

"Your time's getting well fast! Faster by .046 seconds, and pushing about .28 miles per hour faster," Gavin informs Matt after jogging up to the driver’s window with statistics about his most recent practice lap. “Still awful using US conversions, but I suppose it’s meant to help you and not me, innit?”

“ Well fast ,” Matt mocks. He rolls his eyes at the other as he puts the brakes on, but he doesn’t say anything else against the comment; not because he refuses to agree with Gavin, not at all, but because it’s off topic. Definitely. “And random opening line, but alright. That’s not a bad improvement at all though.”

“Definitely not! We’ll just have to see though if you can keep it up in the actual race. Consistency is key here,” Gavin says with an excited, little grin. He looks over his notepad where he’s been keeping track of Matt’s statistics before he nods with a hum, circling the most recent time and speed. He looks at the rows of numbers with something almost akin to pride unknowingly, and Matt has to look away at the sight.

Ever since the second race of the season, when Geoff had first introduced Gavin with barely more than his name and Gavin had won him first place in that qualifying race, Matt’s been getting used to the guy. ‘Like’ is still far too strong of a word, but...tolerate is acceptable. That's what Matt’s been doing, and it’s easier than he had thought.

Gavin’s talkative, excessively so if you let him ramble on for more than necessary, but Matt can concede that Gavin’s also interesting . Makes the constant, random conversations less of a drag and entertains Matt enough on most races, if Gavin being clumsy or easily confused hasn’t already. It helps that their humor meshes well, and it makes Matt feel a little less lonely in the driver’s seat.

(It’s also nice to have a partner in crime to bicker with Geoff together. Every day they spend together, Matt swears he can see Geoff’s eyes slowly turn more regretful at introducing them to each other.)

Much more important though, and the only thing Matt would voice out willingly: Gavin understands him as a driver. And that’s not something that Matt say about the past crew chiefs he’s had to work with, remembering how they refused to work with him first. Expecting Matt to bend to their whims, to not retaliate, is like expecting a cat not to claw you after bothering it.

The crew chief has sway over the driver, but it’s in the driver’s hands to make all the choices. Skilled or famed, a crew chief isn’t worth shit if their driver doesn’t want to work with them. Matt’s already had his fair share of them, and he can’t deny that getting Gavin was lucky.

How Gavin knows that, for the most part, Matt is independent; he’s a person who hates forceful orders, likes to do things the way he does whether it’s because of familiarity or adrenaline. Gavin knows the types of maneuvers that Matt prefers, his limit on his skill and execution, his pit stop habits, and even the right words to say when a race is getting tougher than either of them expected. He’s not like any of those stuffy chiefs either, intent on winning for their own reputation and nothing else.

“Right, that’s enough laps for now, yes?”

Matt lets out a distracted noise as he’s pulled out of his thoughts, and he tries to ignore the slight burning of his cheeks. Spending that much thought on Gavin, of all people, feels like a crime. “Wh-What? Already?”

Gavin cocks a brow, and he must be wondering what’s gone wrong with Matt. Matt’s thinking the same, if he’s being honest; he doesn’t know why Gavin is making him feel so much more flustered than usual – why he’s putting in more thought about the man.

“I think it really is time for a break then. It’s almost lunch, Matthew!” Gavin clicks his tongue, and an expression akin to concern is brewing in his eyes. It twists something inside Matt’s chest, deep behind his ribs. “You’re usually sighing at me and cheering on ‘bout how it was finally time. Is there a problem bothering you or summat?”

Matt doesn’t answer immediately, looking up at Gavin with furrowed brows. His chest is feeling funny with how his heart is racing, faster than even his own car out on the track, and he can’t find the words to explain what’s wrong. Something has to be wrong, since he’s feeling all of these weird things. They’re new experiences, and the unknown of it is unsettling. Absolutely mortifying.

But he doesn’t think he can explain it to Gavin – not right now, at least, or maybe even never – so he doesn’t. “Nah, just got distracted there for a moment,” Matt responds. He’s aiming for casual as he gives a lazy shrug and smile, even when he feels the farthest thing from it. “I was busy wondering about how lucky I am to not get that nose of yours.”

“Huh?! H-Hey, that’s a low blow, Matthew, and you know it!”

And Matt just barely listens as he steps out of his car. This odd, little background noise of his crew chief grumbling and slinging half-assed insults, he tries not to think again about the real reason why he’s so lucky.

(Gavin doesn’t need the ego boost, if he’s being frank.)

(four.)

It’s after hours, the bustling crowd that comes with a race already having fizzled out hours ago. With it went the noisy cheers and announcements to leave behind an unsettling quiet. There’s a single, dingy light operating in the garage, and dust particles move in a flurry as Matt gestures wildly.

“Look, I don’t understand why you’re so fucking mad at me.” Matt sighs as he rubs at his temple, a small headache already throbbing at his forehead. “Did I do something wrong somehow? I won the race, I worked with you, and hell, even Geoff seemed happy! Why are you pissed?”

Gavin throws his hands up with an annoyed noise, as if retaliation for Matt’s current ire. He looks tired, even more so than Matt, and maybe if they hadn’t been locked in this stupid argument, Matt would care more. Certainly not now, though. A fight is a fight, especially a sudden one like this.

“I’m not mad, I’m just trying to get you to understand my perspective,” says Gavin, a tightness to his voice that usually isn’t present. He sounds like he’s struggling to keep himself civil and calm, and despite Matt’s irritation, a sliver of dread creeps up on him – no one’s ever really seen Gavin genuinely mad.

Matt tries his best to match Gavin’s own struggle. Whether it’s for the sake of his own composure or the bubbling fear at the thought of a truly angry Gavin, he doesn’t know. He just replies, in a clipped tone in an awful attempt at calm, “You’re not really explaining it to me, Gav. What is it? Why’d you get mad at me?”

He watches how Gavin seems to splutter at that, flustered and frustrated because that's the thing – Matt knows Gavin can��t explain his side well. Words have never been Gavin’s forte, and it only gets worse when he’s emotional. Combine it with confrontation, and it’s a recipe for a complete and utter disaster.

Gavin’s lips purse together, his arms coming together to cross in front of his chest. Defensive, secretive. Unsure . Eventually, something clicks in his brain enough for Gavin to explain with, “You were a prat today. A complete, cocking idiot.”

And okay . That’s one way to explain things, albeit useless as all hell. Something might have clicked, but not enough to actually move the conversation forward. It rests on Matt to figure out the rest, he supposes.

“I...Okay, so I’m an idiot, meaning I probably did something stupid?” Matt looks questioningly at Gavin; he gets a nod back, meaning he’s right on that front and also slightly offended. But whatever he did anyway, it must have been on the track during the race. “Was it a driving maneuver I did?” Another question, another nod.

Matt sighs, scrubbing the front of his face with his hands — there’s no counting how many kinds of maneuvers he’s made in today’s race, how is he supposed to know which one pissed Gavin off? It’s starting to get to him, this conversation. He just wants to be back in their hotel room to sleep off the day’s weariness, before they’d have to be running around for work again.

“Look, can you just tell me which one? Describe it just a little, for fuck’s sake, and I’ll figure out the rest!” Matt is exhausted. Gavin must be too. It sucks like all hell for the both of them. “You probably want this talk to be finished as much as I do.”

That earns him a glare from Gavin, but Matt can’t find it in himself to care about that. He just stands there, slightly looming over Gavin in a slow countdown of his waning patience – waiting, waiting, waiting for an answer.

(And he does, even when he feels like the last thread of his patience is gone, because this is Gavin . Gavin, who he can’t lose as a crew chief after the previous failures and definitely not because he inexplicably has a soft spot for him. It’s all Geoff’s fault, putting him in this situation.)

“It was during the last lap,” Gavin says with a huff. “You were stressed, because you were in fifth position, and you were right by third and fourth. You didn’t know if you’d qualify for the next race if you got fifth.”

Matt’s brows furrow. “Okay, yeah, that’s about right? It turned out I did qualify, even in fifth, but wh—”

“You did a shite manuever! One that I told you not to do, and you didn’t listen!” Gavin interrupts, hands flying into the air. “I usually don’t care if you ignore me, because I trust you to do the right moves, but that? That was real dumb of you, Matthew!”

“You’re still not fucking explaining it to me! What made that one move shitty compared to all the other things I did, huh?!”

“Because you could’ve been hurt!”

Matt doesn’t reply. He’s busy giving a confused look, brows furrowed before oh – and now looking wide-eyed, like a doe trapped in headlights at the sudden declaration from Gavin’s side. He’s caught up in the twisted frown on Gavin’s lips and the watery, concerned expression of his eyes.

He can’t find the right words to say, if there are any to begin with.

Gavin seems to take the silence as a cue to keep talking, his fingers fiddling with a loose stray on his sleeve. “It’s just...you were panicking. And you were desperate to move up a place, so you tried to take over fourth, but you were too close. I tried to tell you that there wasn’t enough distance even if you matched its speed, that you wouldn’t have a chance at all to get a higher place, not unless you wanted to...y’know. Cause an accident. It was too reckless, and you only got out safely, because the others knew what you were doing and distanced themselves. I–”

He finally pauses, realizes his entire jumble of words, and he seems to deflate. His shoulders sag with his head looking down and anger dissipating like steam. Gavin looks small like this.

And Matt – he can’t help but do the same, a heated feeling of shame boiling inside him. All along, Gavin was irritated, because Matt was being reckless. The worst type of idiot that he could have been on the racetrack. “Fuck, goddamit, Gavin,” Matt starts, already intent on berating himself.

He hates admitting defeat as much as anyone else does, especially to Gavin of all people, but this isn’t like their usual arguments; they were all bicker and banter, the easiest way for them to communicate with each other. This is Gavin, rarely rattled and always unbothered, confessing a fear that only luck and others’ competency managed to impede on.

“Gav–”

Gavin interrupts him near instantly. “Look, I know you like to choose what moves to do and when, and I support it. But only when I know that you can get out of it safely, if it’s compromised,” Gavin explains. Matt does his best to listen completely. “What you did was reckless and selfish back there, and that's saying a lot coming from me, Matthew. I’m your crew chief, and I’m a well lenient one, but...what’s the point if you won’t listen when I need you to?”

He sighs, tired. “I know how these things go. I wouldn’t be a crew chief if I didn’t know all this shite about racing.”

Matt understands now, or at least he thinks he does. He remembers Geoff’s words a long time ago in that local bar and all of the crew chiefs he’s run off without giving it a second thought. How he didn’t listen to either of them once, and only to Geoff when it was serious enough to warrant Geoff to use his authority card. How his own attitude didn’t help the crew chiefs, even if he did think they deserved it.

Watching Gavin stand in front of him now, defeatist nature in plain view with his shrunken stature, Matt feels the searing heat of mortification behind his cheeks. He really has been an idiot, hasn’t he?

Before he can stop himself or subject himself to another of Gavin’s interruptions, Matt reaches out for Gavin – tucks him in close in a tight hug. Chest to chest, his arms fully looping around, and his face pressing against the top of Gavin’s head. He hopes it’s enough for Gavin to see how much Matt, touch averse and always playfully mean towards him, means his next words.

“Sorry for being a prat today,” Matt mumbles into the mess labeled Gavin’s hair. He tries not to think too much about how quickly Gavin had clung onto him, how Gavin is holding onto him so tightly as if letting go meant Matt would disappear. Tries not to focus on the swell of guilt that rises and lodges itself in the back of his throat. “I...should’ve been more careful.”

A brief silence travels between them, and for a moment, Matt thinks that Gavin is about to scold him again. Except he soon feels the way hesitant arms wrap around him, slow and unsure, and the warmth that surrounds him; then the feeling of a nose poking at his collarbone from a face in hiding, and Matt can’t resist it.

“Is offering me your nose a sign we’re good now? I mean, I still wouldn’t want to carry that nose around, but it’s the thought that counts.”

“Matt, you prick! We were having a moment!”

“Not sorry, Gav,” Matt laughs, his heart feeling lighter when he hears British insults and a tentative smile cross Gavin’s lips. He lets himself have this, not hiding how every system is alive at this shared moment between them.

Something more than a just a simple moment, something less than what it could be.

(five.)

“Last few races, we’ve been getting a little unlucky, but I think it’s going to change this time.” Gavin’s confident statement makes Matt cock an eyebrow, looking at the other with an expression of ‘Okay, and where is this going?’ He barely budges when Gavin slugs a weak punch towards his shoulder. “Look, I’m just saying! I feel like you’ll win this one, cross my heart.”

“That’s a lot of pressure on me, dude,” Matt says. He rummages through his personal locker in the garage, grumbling while he does so, to look for his race suit today. “Also, I dunno. Tom’s racing with me today, and he got pole position, like he always fuckin’ does. Asshole.” And oh, like a magic word, insulting Tom leads to Matt finally finding his race suit.

Gavin giggles from his seat on the bench next to where Matt is standing by his locker, casually swinging his legs. “It’s the rivalry of a lifetime, innit? Tom’s always so nice though, it’s a shame. At least it’ll feel good when you crush him into a pulp after this race!”

“Jesus Christ, Gav…”

Matt’s concern over his crew chief’s joy at inflicting such damage on Tom doesn’t abate, but it is put on hold momentarily. Pushes it to the backburner in his brain to focus on suiting up this troublesome outfit. This troublesome position, rival. This terrifying race. He feels jittery.

It takes more time than it should with how stiff and plasticy-seeming the suit is, thanks to the fireproof nature for the sake of safety. He bites his lower lip in concentration as he slips it up his legs and pushes his arms through, trying to find the zipper in the mass of fabric. But he can’t seem to hold onto it, grip clammy with building sweat, and his thoughts are spiralling. He’s distracted.

“Matt, love, you alright?”

Gavin’s voice is quiet and low, a stark difference from his usual tone. Matt can’t find it in himself to say much, just lifts his head for his gaze to meet Gavin’s worried own. He opens his mouth and shuts it, open-close, open-close, until he just shakes his head. His hands are trembling.

“Oh, love, you’re really nervous for this race, aren’t you?” Gavin’s hands are soft as it sneaks its way into Matt’s own, their fingers twining with each other’s. He gives a gentle squeeze, and Matt swears that he’s stopped breathing. His eyes are wide, heart racing fast, and he’s feeling off-kilter for a completely different reason now. “C’mon, talk to me, Matthew.”

Matt tries, being left speechless for a moment, as his gaze unwavers from Gavin’s; he wonders if his cheeks are lighting up pink. “I, uh, it’s...just the race, yeah,” he barely stammers out. It takes him longer than it should to get his brain in working order, to try and push past how warm and perfect-fitting Gavin’s hands are. Definitely just the race making him nervous. “Tom’s been my rival forever, and he won the last two championships. I wanna knock him off his pedestal, but...I’m kinda fucking that up right now.”

“What? What are you on about? You haven’t done anything to cock anything up! Just ‘cos you’re not in first and he is doesn’t mean you’ve lost already.”

And yes, that’s true, but overthinking doesn't believe in that – brain, meet the awful, invasive thoughts. “I’ve made it pretty damn hard to win though! And I always find some way to fuck something up, and I’m just gonna watch Tom win again, because–!”

“Because nothing, Matthew!” Gavin pulls his hand away to cup Matt’s cheek, to make him look directly at Gavin and the intensity in his eyes. “You’re a bloody amazing driver, and you’re going to do good in the race. You can’t count yourself out already!”

Matt lets out a low, pained noise. His insecurity is rearing its head, and for the first time in a long while, he feels unconfident in his driving. And as much as he loves Tom as a friend, having Tom as a rival feels like a nightmare at times. “You literally can’t guarantee that, Gavin.”

Gavin huffs, squishing Matt’s cheek. “Okay, fine, you’re right. But I can guarantee that you’ll do your best,” he reassures, “plus, I might have someway to motivate you. Did you know that I actually came out of my mini retirement on Geoff’s behalf to lead you?”

“Hold on, retirement? From what? Geoff never fuckin’ told me!” Matt’s eyebrows shoot up, his mouth falling open. That’s complete news to him, and the shock diverts his attention from his useless feelings. “And what does that have to do with motivation?”

That earns Matt a quick roll of the eyes and a soft flick to his forehead. “That’s ‘cos I don’t let Geoff tell people. I retired after a nasty incident on the raceway– hey, don’t look so shocked! Most crew chiefs were former drivers, y’know!” Gavin pouts when he sees a starstruck look enter Matt’s expression, and he tries to hide his pinkening face. “Anyway...a few races ago, Tom and I had a lil’ chat. Turns out he knew my past, and he, uh, tried to hire me for next season.”

Matt blinks. Processes the words, because oh , that’s even more news to him; when had Tom find the time to talk to Gavin in private? And who does Tom think he is that he can waltz in, trying to snap up Gavin for himself? That’s abso-fucking-lute bullshit, in Matt’s eyes. His eyes narrow in a glare, a canine slightly bared as ‘pissed off’ overtakes the ‘nervous’ setting.

“Woah, woah, woah! Calm down, love,” Gavin soothes. He brushes his thumb over Matt’s cheek, these slow and soft motions, and Matt huffs as he calms down.. “I turned him down anyway. I’m your crew chief, first and foremost. Not anyone else’s.”

Gavin brings Matt close to rest their foreheads against each other’s, and Matt can’t deny how nice it feels. That, and the knowledge that Gavin is loyal to him – calls himself his crew chief, like an unintentional claim for Matt. It barely settles down the bristling feeling inside him.

Matt brings his hands up to rest on Gavin’s hips, pressing fingertips into the shirt. “Still doesn’t change that Tom tried to steal you. Fuck my previous words, I am going to crush Tom in this race,” Matt glowers. He can’t help but turn his head towards the garage opposite his where said rival is preparing in, only slightly trying to burn Tom with his glare. “He has his own fuckin’ crew chief, greedy bastard!”

Gavin rolls his eyes, but he’s grinning, this wild and fiery thing at the sight of Matt’s soul searing again. “That’s the spirit! Fight for me, Matthew!” He pumps his fist in the air, and he does a little dance to go alongside it; bright and peppy, it makes Matt’s heart soar at how adorable the sight is.

Now, he’s given two reasons to fight harder. To force those insecurities down and drive like there’s no tomorrow in today’s race. Damn right he’s going to do exactly that.

“Chin up, Matthew,” Gavin says. He moves to zip up the rest of Matt’s racesuit, presses together the velcro collar, and smoothes out the wrinkles that formed. His hands don’t move from Matt’s shoulder, and his eyes are brimming with belief for a win today. “I really can feel our luck turning around this race. Trust me on that, yeah? I’m your crew chief, after all.”

And Matt listens.

(six.)

Trust goes far. Extremely so.

If anyone asks Matt about the last few laps of the race, he’ll give an honest answer – he can’t remember much but bits and pieces. The important parts of the race, in his eyes, at least.

Like the fears that lingered for most of the last few laps. The fear of being so close but still so far, of being not enough despite his attempts; he’d been racing for so long, yet with nothing official to show for it yet while Tom had done so twice. Then there’s failing Gavin when he said he’d fight for his crew chief, said with so much conviction, it’d be a shame to fall short. And that’s only the biggest ones. There had been a lot of things on his mind besides driving as he approached the last lap. Maybe not the best time for it, but what could he do now?

The last lap is the messiest memory of them all; there’s the tauntingly familiar back of Tom’s car, decals of every sponsor (far more than Matt’s) littering it and mocking Matt for another loss. It flits in and out of his vision as their struggle for dominance teeters between them evenly. There’s the hard press of a lead foot and the revving of an engine being worked to death, maybe even a few sputters from the force.

It’s the thought of ‘just a little faster, just a little more’ repeating itself constantly that’s the clearest bit. There had been a sharp voice – clear and demanding, usually so distracting now a blessing – telling him “pass him, pass him now! on his left, he took a wide turn, it’s open!” that shook him. Had him tilting his steering wheel left without thinking, lead foot even heavier, and then –

“Matthew, Matthew, Matt! You won!”

Gavin’s voice is crackling the radio with its volume. It echoes loudly in the car as Matt finally eases his foot off the gas and slams down on the brake. He’s fucking shaking in his seat at the news, his eyes watery with about-to-fall tears and cheeks turning red from the emotions welling up in him. Adrenaline is still heady as it pumps through his veins, and he finds his brain still shut down from the intensity of the last lap to reply back. He falls back against his seat, slouches down, and he rests his head in his hands.

He won. Oh, Christ, he won.

The laughter that bubbles out of him is only slightly maniacal, because he won! His entire upper half is shuddering with his laughter and glee, and he doesn’t notice how the other side of the radio is radio silent. Not when he does notice the loud rumble of a crowd’s footsteps getting louder, getting closer to him.

He’s teary as he looks up and sees the proud expression on Geoff’s face. He can’t muster the will to push Geoff away when the man opens up the door to pull Matt out and up into a hug; close and meaningful, Geoff is overjoyed as he swings Matt around in the hug. Geoff is so, so proud.

“You absolute, fucking maniac! I can’t believe you pulled a victory like that outta your ass!” Geoff wheezes when he finally sets Matt down, but he doesn’t ease up on the contact. Keeps his arm slung around and gives the kindest noogie that a person could ever give. “Everyone was shocked! You snatched victory right outta Fawkes’ hand!”

“Jesus, I,” Matt finally manages to croak out. His voice feels shot despite barely using it. “I couldn’t believe it either. But...it was Gav, it was all him. Was yelling so loudly about the maneuver, and I just listened, and...he did it. He won it for us.”

Geoff snorts. He sniffles quietly as he gives a small smile – always been a sappy, teary kind of person – and his head turns away to look at someplace in the mass of people that formed. “Gav did, huh? He’s always been a lucky kid, pulling miracles out of thin air like it’s nothing. And speaking of him, there he is!”

Matt rubs at his watery eyes, looking at where Geoff is pointing at as the weight on his shoulders recedes. And suddenly, the crowd parting like the Red Sea, Gavin is dashing out towards Matt with his arms flailing widely; his grin is blinding as he leaps up without thinking–

“Gavin!”

Matt’s cry is too late. A familiar body is already ramming against the front of his own, and Matt can barely wrap his arms around Gavin before they go down together. His knees collide with the ground loudly, Gavin’s weight landing all by Matt’s side with a soft ‘oof!’ from both of them. They’re pressed up close, and Gavin’s green eyes look wide but jovial as it peers up at Matt.

“Matt! Matt, love, you did it, and you looked like an absolute madman when you crossed the line!” His voice is wobbly, just as fucked up as Matt’s own. He’s coming down from his own adrenaline rush.

“I finally win, and that’s your first words to me?!”

“I’m just being honest, and it looked cool, at least!” Gavin giggles with his nose poking at Matt’s cheek. And as if it was naturally meant to be there, lithe arms wrap around Matt’s neck, brings them even closer. It doesn’t matter that Matt’s racesuit is ruined with the sweat of the race and the dirt from the ground. Matt just returns the act, holds Gavin tightly.

“You won, Matt,” Gavin whispers so happily with his grin blinding like the sun. There’s nothing but pure happiness injected into that, and Matt can feel its infectious nature with his own shaky smile. He can barely keep it together with Gavin in his arms. “You won the championship.”

Something in Gavin’s words rattles him for good. Matt finally lets the tears fall, a single one at first and then a monsoon. He darts in to close the remaining gap between them, and he sinks into another sort of victory at the feel of soft lips pressing against his; dies the greatest death when Gavjn pushes back, salt of tears and sweetness of affection playing between them, and Matt doesn’t know how he’s held back for so long.

He’s an idiot for playing this off, as if it hadn’t been in the making over months and state lines. As if all that time with Gavin, feeling an odd type of way, wasn’t going to end up like this – with so much fucking adoration in his heart. He’s an absolute fool, but one who’s caught Gavin’s eye.

His hand is cradling Gavin’s head while the other keeps him locked in a tight hug, by the time Matt pulls away. Cheeks are red for a different reason, but no less better – even the annoying flashes from photographers, the crowd of reports trying to zone in, and the cheers and eyes of every pit crew on them can’t ruin this mood. They’re far too focused on each other.

“I fought for you, I fought so fuckin’ hard,” Matt laughs breathlessly. “Tom better keep his dirty paws to himself now, I swear.”

It’s a weird thing to mention now, but Matt doesn’t care. Not when Gavin’s eyes look at him with so much amused affection, the same kind that must be playing in Matt’s own, before he’s brought in for another kiss – and yeah, he can say that he really did win.

#ragehappy #braggvin #mattvin #rtah #seiju writes

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seitjun · 5 years

Text

dangerous night

freewood // 6400+ words // fahc au

description: The fears of being in love with a criminal like the Vagabond become apparent, and Gavin is left to face the music. Sometimes, all it takes is the world to tell you that you've had it too good for too long for your life to change drastically.

notes: this contains physical and some psychological torture! not explicit but not vague descriptions either, so this is a darker fic compared to rest of the series despite the good end. this was me practicing darker, angstier writing; it's no worries if this isn't your cup of tea! take care of yourselves <3. otherwise, onwards, and song inspo is dangerous night by thirty seconds to mars.

this fic is also posted on ao3 (link)!

Things come to a head on Tuesday.

They’ve been living too-busy weeks for the last month or so, barely managing to sneak in phone calls and text messages — between multiple projects on Gavin’s end and more dangerous heists on Ryan’s, there’s little time for much else besides work and mutual yearning.

“I promise, Ry, I’ll call you when I get home. A shoot’s running late after a wank deleted important footage last week,” Gavin complains. He leans against a wall near a corner, far away from any prying eyes or eavesdropping ears of his coworkers. He feels too on edge to deal with anyone on set, already hating the idea of working overtime for an idiot’s mistake. “No, don’t kill him, as much as I appreciate the thought. They’d suspect me anyway, if you did do that.”

“Not with me killing him. I’m good at clean kills and planting false evidence, so that wouldn’t be a worry. But if you’ll be okay handling him…”

A puff of laughter escapes Gavin at hearing Ryan sound so blase about his criminal skills. If he were a saner man, he’d be concerned for himself and the criminal he associated himself with; instead, it’s an amusing and comforting sentiment from Ryan. Lovely Ryan who’s very much one of the most murderous men to walk Los Santos but also the sweetest boyfriend that Gavin’s had the chance to date.

“I’d still be interviewed about him anyway, plus it’d be less work to re-shoot the footage than be a murder suspect,” Gavin reasons, playing with a loose string from his shirt. He frowns. “The bloke’s been chewed out anyway from what I heard walking by the main office. Might’ve been let go early after that.”

“If he’s not careful, he might let go of his life early too.”

Gavin giggles, hiding his mouth behind his hand. “Ry, please, it’s fine. He’s got what he deserved, and it’ll teach him to be reckless about files next time. ‘s annoying to do overtime, but can’t do much about it now.”

He hears an incoherent grumble from Ryan, barely snatching a few words like ‘revenge’ and ‘fucking idiot’. Despite the context, Gavin’s heart grows fonder of the man on the other side of the line, putting up with mundane complaints and willing to help in his own odd, illegal way. It makes the situation a little less dreary feeling.

“Alright, break’s over, everyone! Let’s finish up this last scene to shoot, then we can finally head home for the night!” A booming voice exclaims, just as tired and irritated as the rest of them, and there's a sudden flurry of activity. There’s skittering steps, clamoring cameraman, and a rebuilt set for the current scene. “Let’s get this shit done!”

“Gotta go now?”

Gavin groans softly, pushing himself off the wall as a wave of disgruntled assent follows the supervisor’s words. “You heard that, huh? I just hope we finish up in an hour or two, maybe get back to the apartment before one for once.” His eyes dart to the supervisor, and he watches the lady start her rounds to check on everyone’s position. “I have to hurry, or else I’ll be like the other guy.”

“Alright, just be careful on your way home. If you don’t pass out the moment you get home, phone me or shoot me a text at least, dear.”

Ryan’s voice is soft, nothing like his voice before when he’d been threatening the incompetent guy, and there’s an obvious fondness dripping from the petname. It makes something lodge in Gavin’s throat, all the words and affection he has for the man stuck there, while his heart beats like a jackhammer against his chest.

“I promise,” he swears. His hand tightens on the phone as if it’d stop him from ending the call. “You have full permission to break into my house if I don’t call or answer, but don't stay up too late for me, okay?”

Ryan chuckles, low and sweet, and Gavin wishes he could spend the night like this. But the grumbling of his coworkers and the imminent rage of his supervisor warns him otherwise, pushes him to murmur, “G’night, Ry.”

He ends the call there, resists the urge to stay on even longer, but it’s another minute until he can stop staring at the phone, chest feeling a little more hollow than before — it’s been far too long since their last date. It takes another booming warning for his feet to rush towards his spot, flitting between exhausted coworkers and an irritated supervisor. Even when he’s finishing the set-up of the camera, all muscle memory by now, he finds himself thinking of Ryan.

He doesn’t know how he managed to get attention from someone like him, but Gavin is grateful for it. He’s done fine all his life without a partner by his side, and even after dating Ryan, Gavin’s still an individual who can live his separate life; they’re not dependent on each other. It’d just be nice to get a break though, spend a day with Ryan again before their busy lives overtake them again.

He misses Ryan an awful lot.

-------

[to love <3]:

on my way home, call you soon.

The reshoot of the footage ends at midnight, which is leagues better than the shoot ending at one am.

Gavin had been one of the last to remain, making sure all of the files were saved properly and creating backups, but he manages to clock out at a decent twelve thirty. He’d rather take the extra thirty minutes rather than another night of overtime and bringing down the rest of his coworkers with him; they’re all overworked and tired in this business, and it’s one less thing to worry about tonight.

Clocked out, Gavin waits under by the doorway of the stage five building where the closest, working lamppost on the grounds is. He scrolls through social feeds, eyes-half lidded and thumb slow; his back is aching with his heavy backpack, energy completely drained, and his brain is lagging behind in processing anything. He barely scrounges up the energy to tuck closer into his jacket against a sudden wind sweeping by, the September chill greeting him.

10 minutes away , his rideshare app informed him when he placed the request. An uncomfortably long wait at past midnight in Los Santos; it was the downfall of being in this field, having to work in big studios out of the city’s way.

He shifts his backpack to the side, pulling out a small stress ball before adjusting his bag again. 6 minutes isn’t much in the grand scheme of things, but every minute outside is nerve wracking, and it’s better for Gavin to squeeze a stress ball than use his nails to scratch his fingertips. Last time he went without a stress ball, the skin of his fingertips were shredded and sensitive. It’s an ugly memory, so he tries to focus on the ball, not his precarious situation or anything else.

It doesn’t work for long.

“Hey, uh, excuse me! Mister? Hellooo ?”

Gavin jerks in surprise at the sudden appearance of a person beside him, squeezing the stress ball too hard. He turns to see the person trying to converse with him, but his body stills as he finally realizes who it is in their embarrassed, awkward stature; memories of the harsh yelling and angry coworkers from today play in his mind, a man creeping out of the set with his tail between his legs.

“U-Uh...hello?”

The guy perks up at Gavin’s acknowledgement albeit its hesitant tone. “Hey, I...didn’t think you’d reply honestly, but this is a nice surprise,” he beams, bright and open, and its vivaciousness in the late night unsettles Gavin. “I’m Adam! But, uh, maybe you knew that already…”

“I didn’t want to come off as rude,” he mumbles; he doesn’t mention how he didn’t know Adam’s name before. “‘m Gavin.”

He returns to squeezing the stress ball, trying his damndest to not fidget so obviously in front of the man. He’s not afraid of the stranger per se, but the situation is odd , and something nervous bubbles in his stomach; everything in Los Santos is more dangerous at night, and there’s alarm rising slowly to the surface in his mind.

A quick check of his phone yields a notification update: 5 minutes away .

Adam laughs before slapping Gavin’s back out of some misplaced camaraderie. Gavin winces. “No worries, Gavin! I wouldn’t blame you if you had anyway, after what I did back there.” His smile drops slightly, and his next words are a little somber, “Made a lot of extra work for everyone on the project. I know you’re one of the higher ups in charge of cameras and slow motion filming, so...I wanted to apologize for what I did, being reckless.”

And Gavin — he blinks, taken aback. He had expected something awful to happen — like a surprise mugging — but certainly not an apology, one that seemed so genuine too. He’s not the best at reading people, but the way Adam shifts awkwardly as he waits for a reply and the odd, hopeful glint in his eyes with every sneaked glance — it looks real, like he’s truly remorseful for what he’s done.

“It wasn’t good what you did, not very professional,” he starts, his tone stern like his parents’ during his rowdy childhood. He’s always been soft at heart, Ryan as proof of it, and he knows he’s forgiven the man already, but it doesn’t hurt to include a lesson. “We managed to save the re-shooting and back up the files from today at least. Be careful with your files next time, this incident could lock you out of future jobs.”

“I know, it was dumb of me! I promise I’ll be a lot more careful in future jobs! Well...if I can find them after this.” Adam gives a self-deprecating laugh, scratching the back of his head. It looks like the gravity of his mistake finally dawned on him.

“Good luck with that.” Gavin nods as he gives one last, polite smile. He peers down at his phone, sighing in relief when the tracker read 1 minute away . “I’ll have to head off soon, my ride is a minute away,” he informs the man. A quick heads-up that Gavin’s about to be away from the admittedly sketchy but kind stranger. That as polite as he’s been, Gavin still wants to be far away.

Adam waves a hand affably and unbothered, grinning. “No worries, it’s late, and I’d wanna get home soon too! I wouldn’t even have stayed this long if I didn’t have anything to do here still.”

Gavin hums mindlessly until he realizes why the stranger had to stay back. He freezes; the man had been ejected early in the shoot today, revoked of any responsibilities when the missing files had been stumbled on, and been given an order to leave the entire shoot. As little as Gavin knows about the situation, the man shouldn’t have been here still.

And that — that’s sketchy.

All of Gavin’s instincts fire up, and he gives a forced laugh as he takes a step back. The red flags from before are waving wildly now, no way to ignore them, and warnings are blaring in his head like announcements over the intercom. He’s not safe.

He’s not safe at all.

Not when Adam’s eyes suddenly narrow, relieved grin from before morphing into something more malicious. Not when Adam is matching every step of Gavin’s to keep the distance close between them. Not when Adam is lifting his fist and aiming it towards Gavin’s face, much too quick for Gavin to shield himself from.

Pain blooms across his right cheek, all the way up to his temple and jaw. His eyesight shifts out of focus, startled by the hit, and his brain is still reeling at the new turn of events; he doesn’t even process the next punch that lands on his left cheek, a knee digging straight into his stomach before he collapses forwards in a ball. All he can process is the sharp slide across the rough concrete, the sting of his forehead landing on the hard surface.

He’s dazed right when a black car skids by, thrown into the trunk haphazardly, and the back of his head thumps harshly against something metal. Groaning, all Gavin can do is think about just how close he was in evading this situation.

( 0 minutes away .)

--------

Gavin’s lived a good portion of his life in Los Santos already. He’s got almost a decade of experience, actually.

He’s gotten a feel on how to live in a city as filthy and underhanded as Los Santos — from avoiding contact with certain people to minding his own business for the most part, he makes the smallest ripple he can in the pond. No need to bring extra attention to himself with the types of people lingering in the city. He’s figured out how to make a life here as safe as he could, formed out of theories and trials from the last near decade.

Meeting the Vagabond had screwed that entire safety net up. Falling in love with Ryan had burned the netting completely, with nothing left to salvage and lapping quickly at the foundations of his life here. He’s been left to dangle over a pit of what ifs, worst case scenarios, and bare contingency plans, only held up by Ryan’s grounding presence and the all-consuming desire to be by Ryan’s side. A belief in Ryan being there for him when Gavin needs him, like Gavin is for Ryan.

The fear of it all, or what little of it he could feel nowadays, doesn’t lessen the affection he has for the criminal. He had understood the danger, and if anything, a part of him had welcomed it; nowadays, being able to love Ryan, all the civilian and criminalistic parts of him, is more than enough reward for the new danger Gavin had placed himself in.

Gavin’s made his peace with it. Had done it months ago, on a couch and an apartment away when falling in love with Ryan had been an inevitable outcome. Gavin’s rationalized it over and over again, and he’s calm about it, but it didn’t feel so real until he’s face-to-face with the consequences.

The consequences feel much like a bucket of freezing cold water dumped over Gavin for the third time already, leaving him to tremble in his drenched clothes. There’s a draft somewhere near him, wind sneaking through to brush over him and chilling him to the core; the sharp tang of ocean spray, the deafening crash crash crash of the waves remind him how far he is from help.

“I won’t lie, didn’t think you’d even make it this far. Sure it’s just water, but it’d be a real damn shame to go out ‘cus of the fuckin’ cold,” a voice chuckles. “I’ve met bitches weaker.”

Gavin flinches as a hand slides through his hair and yanks his head back, a sting washing over his scalp at the harsh grip and digging nails. His back is arched unnaturally, almost grotesquely, with how the hand pulls him, and he whimpers in pain, shutting his eyes tight. He squirms uncomfortably, but his rope-bound wrists and ankles argue against him.

“Now, now, don’t be like that. Open up and look at me, Gav, otherwise I’ll have to make you. Don’t make me tell you again.”

It takes another rough tug at his hair until Gavin forces his eyes open, watery with unspilled tears and poured saltwater. He peers up at the man — Adam , he reminds himself — leering over him, this stranger who faked his way into Gavin’s good graces for a fleeting moment — just enough to distract him from how horrible the city’s people could be at times. Polite, little Gavin who hates being rude and making a fuss, being played a fiddle with no shame.

Beneath the pain and gut-wrenching fear, hurt is simmering. It can’t help but make itself known as he bares his teeth, as tiny as it is, and snarl a quiet threat. He must’ve looked less intimidating than a cat, but it must have been enough insolence for his kidnapper.

Adam looms over him with disappointed clicks his tongue. His face twists into an ugly expression as he releases Gavin, only to slap him across the face, and the sharp smack! echoes in the lonely structure. “I suggest you don’t give me an attitude. I’ve been kind to you with mild punishments, taking it slow and steady ‘stead of jumping into the real toys.”

A raging fire blooms across the spread of reddening skin, and the buzzing skin makes Gavin’s mind dizzy. Makes him squint his teary eyes and turn his brain fuzzy as he tries to force himself to ride out the pain; he’s never had a good pain tolerance, and he can feel it kicking his ass now.

“Now, c’mon, you just gotta tell me what I wanna hear, buddy,” Adam croons, softly and maliciously kind. His touch is gentle now as it combs through Gavin’s hair, and Gavin isn’t sure which is more terrifying — the obvious violence or the sweet trickery, the quick switch between the two. “I know you’ve been with the Vagabond for a while now, it’s hard to miss him always visiting the same place if you know what to look for. Both of you were horrible at keeping this a secret.”

“We...we weren’t trying,” Gavin mumbles through chattering teeth. With a loud yowl, the ocean winds slam against the building, and a chill is starting to seep into Gavin’s bones. He shivers, hunching over himself as best he can.

The man cocks a brow. “You’re kidding me. You two, a famous criminal and a clean civilian, didn’t try to hide it?” He scoffs, and he shoves Gavin’s head away and loses his hold. “Are you two absolute morons? Or did the Vagabond overestimate himself, his reputation? Did he think he could protect you just by name?”

Gavin shudders. A cold heaviness, his clothes and something else he can’t place, is settling over his body as he mumbles in a tone colored with hurt, “We just wanted to be together. Nothing more.”

“Idiotic.” Adam sneers, looking almost disgusted by the sentiment. He levels a calculating look towards Gavin, and its empty, soulless nature pierces through Gavin; makes him feel less than human, nothing more than an object in the way. “I’m afraid that it was never in your cards to have anything like that. You forfeited normalcy and peace the moment you associated with the Vagabond. Forfeited safety .”

He rolls his shoulders as he paces around Gavin, each step a gentle thud on the rank floor. With a silent flick, quick and precise, the man unsheathes a knife and presses it against Gavin’s throat. Lets the cool blade raise prickly goosebumps on tanned flesh, the sharp edge whispering reminders of what it could do, and the grip on the back on Gavin’s neck pinning him down.

“This doesn’t change my plan. Don’t take it personally, though. We wanted the Vagabond, you were just the perfect bait,” the man whistles. “Blame your boyfriend for being kidnapped. Shoulda’ covered his tracks better, shouldn’t have thought you could be together with no consequences.”

-----------

Knife wounds hurt like a bitch.

That’s the first thing Gavin learns. He’s had little experience to go off on when comparing how painful things are, but he can say without a doubt that getting slashed and stabbed is up there on the scale. He wants to say that it’ll be the most painful thing on the scale, but the rising irritation of the man, a subdued force building beneath his skin as he scowls — it feels like a terrible premonition of Gavin's future.

Suddenly, all those jokes of stubbing his pinky toe against furniture being the worst aren’t funny anymore.

“Look, I didn’t wanna do any of this to you. Even tried being nice, going easy on the torture—” And Gavin’s wounds protest loudly to that. “—for a civilian just caught up in the criminal’s wildness. It happens, we know, the thrill of it all is tempting. But you’re actin’ like a horrid bitch now, y’know.”

Adam plunges his knife into the soft flesh of his thigh, dull edges leaving a trail of burning destruction as it sinks deeper in. He looks almost bored, despite the venom in his voice and the rage behind his eyes, as he makes eye contact with Gavin. Twists the knife as he does so, and Gavin screams in pain, throat dry and hoarse from the previous wounds.

“You wouldn’t have all these wounds on you if you just told me what you knew about the Vagabond,” the man croons. “Are you actually going to keep quiet and take all this torture for a criminal? This is mild, y’know, and it’d be a shame to permanently harm you for a criminal who doesn’t even love you, and you don’t love.”

At that, Gavin makes a choked noise. His eyes are watery, barely able to see Adam through narrowed eyes, as anger and pain and fear flash across his face. His thigh twitches out of reflex from the pain, but it only works up the shredded muscles more. “No…”

Adam perks up, and the building rage from before is replaced. A sly grin on his lips and eyes shining with glee, he crows, “Oh? Don’t tell me you actually love the Vagabond? He’s a man-turned-monster, heartless and merciless. Did you know that he’s got a reputation for being cruel, known for being a masterclass in torture and assassination?”

Gavin whimpers as the man drags the knife out, tries not to let his body jolt as the cool but wet blade grazes over another knife wound. He wonders how much of his skin had been turned to blood trails, if his skin became more red instead of tan — less of a human, more of a brutalized half-corpse. He refuses to look down and see.

“Whatever you think of him,” Adam continues, “he’s got you fooled. You don’t even know the half of it about the Vagabond, and I’m more than willing to bet that he doesn’t love you. Shame on you, really, on that life choice.”

And Gavin can’t suppress the tears anymore.

-----------

Adam is unfortunately smart.

Each visit from him onwards becomes more and more like psychological warfare. He still has a weapon on him, something to inflict wounds to drive the point of his words home, and it’s escalated as much as his methods have.

Gavin hisses as Adam pushes the butt end of a lit cigarette against his palms, all his thrashing for nothing compared to the tight knots that tie him down. All he can do is catch a glimpse of his torturer from his peripherals, hoarse pleads of mercy and half-incoherent cries escaping his tongue to no avail.

“I wouldn’t have had to resort to this if you just tell me what I want,” Adam says. He repeats the message as if it’d convince Gavin by the fiftieth iteration. “Tell me what you know about the Vagabond, all the gritty, personal details, and I’ll let you go happily.”

Gavin’s shoulders slump in brief relief as the man lets up on the burn mark, even as the man takes his chin between his fingers to tilt it up. Makes their eyes meet, one pair lighting up in pain and the other patiently smug. Gavin can’t keep it up for long before his eyes are falling shut, and he squeezes them close tight; his head is spinning, the pain catching up past the waves of adrenaline.

“I…”

“What is it? Just tell me, and I won’t hurt you anymore,” the man presses. “You won’t have to be hurt for your selfish, little boyfriend. After all, I don’t see any sign of him coming, and that says a lot about how highly he thinks of you, doesn’t it? Why are you still holding onto hope for someone who frankly doesn’t care for you?”

Gavin shakes his head furiously, trying his best to shake off the words that the snake of a man is murmuring to him. His hands are trembling with the searing burn and the barely there hope for Ryan to find him, for Ryan to swoop in and prove the man’s every single word wrong. For Ryan to save him before he gives in to those awful, insecure thoughts and the bubbling misery inside him.

God, he hopes .

“The Vagabond may be your lover, but he’s lying to you. Whatever you may think of him, he’s only playing you,” the man drones on. He flicks cigarette ash across Gavin’s face, runs a thumb over the grain. “Consorting with criminals is dangerous, you must’ve known. But did Vagabond ever tell you the truths of his past, the type of people after him?”

Gavin doesn’t answer. Can’t really, with how his throat feels dry, a lump stuck there with no way to swallow it down.

“No? I’m unsurprised. After all, the Vagabond had a horrible past. Ruthless, sadistic mercenary who wanted the thrill of it all. It didn’t matter who got hurt to him, families or friends, as long as he got his kill and his payment,” he scowls. He looks away from Gavin, eyes pinpointed on something in the distance and a cold, sharp anger forming in his gaze. “So much of a monster, we all called him Malicious . The terror of the South, until one day...he just disappeared.

“But those sorts of things, you can’t just run away from them. They’ll follow you until you suffer the consequences, chase you down until you trip up, and have you questioning every single movement of yours. Will it be the move that finally gets you killed?”

Gavin is sobbing softly now, head down as he tries to hide away from the man; from the horrid words that paint a dark picture in his mind, slowly cracking at the memories he has of Ryan. It’s an awful, awful corruption.

The man shakes himself out of his stupor, snorting at Gavin crying and looking pitifully small. “He made a wrong move, after years of playing the game perfectly,” he says carelessly. “I’m afraid that wrong move was you.”

There’s another sharp flash of heat, against his shoulders instead now, and Gavin screams. It stays pressed and pressed and pressed longer than before, burning his skin, and the scent of it is acrid. His muscles flex and tense, his body trying to pull away even as rope digs into his wrists, as fear and anxiety claws itself into Gavin, makes a home in his frazzled brain. The pain is blinding now, seeping into his mind with flashes of white and a headache forming and just—

Gavin can’t handle it anymore. He faints.

------------

He wakes here and there. Sometimes it’s of his own volition, other times it’s to a swift punch to his face. At least the water is done for now, even if he’s just as cold and probably sick now.

His body is exhausted beyond belief still, and each moment of consciousness is brief. It’s just enough to register how much his body is hurting, the sloppy bandages feeling like hell as it brushes against his injuries and the taste of blood prominent on his tongue. Just enough for Adam to question him again and for Gavin to mumble a denial.

Gavin wonders, for the nth time since he’s been taken, if Ryan is looking for him. Wonders if Ryan is even aware of his disappearance and the hell he’s going through, if he’ll actually save him. And the ugliest part of himself wonders if what the man said is true, if he really should be putting up with all this torture for an unknown factor.

He can’t give it much thought past that, not when his brain is shutting down and trying so hard to rest for whatever else lies in his future. He gives in easily.

----------

There is a rescue for him, 4 hours past his kidnapping and right when Gavin’s given up on himself.

He doesn’t know this yet. Doesn’t dare get his hopes up at all, as low as it is, and the situation he’s in. Not when he’s woken up by the loud gunshots that echo nearby, just outside of the warehouse, and it has him startled for a moment; maybe the man had deemed him far too stubborn, far too useless for his situation, decided that it was Gavin’s time now. There had been no sign of the man near him when the shots fired, but maybe it was a dramatic build-up — one last effort to play with him.

He takes the thought of his execution with less panic than he thought, calming himself down after the initial flurry of emotions. Maybe it’s his usual nature coming back to him, body adjusting to grow detached from the fear he experienced today, or maybe it’s his own way of beating the man at his game, to not care anymore. He didn’t know.

What he does know is that he’s awake, but his eyes are shut as he hangs his head down. Past the ringing in his ears, he hears the thudding of multiple footsteps grow louder and louder, and he waits for the verdict on his life. Hears the door slam open, metal clanging against the wall, and wonders briefly if it’ll be delivered by bullet or by blade.

----------

Los Santos is not a kind city. Gavin’s known that for a long time now; only fools would believe in that sentiment, and fools never last long in the city.

But when he wakes up again, unbound and in Ryan’s arms this time, the belief falters for a flicker of a moment. The way he’s held by Ryan, an imposing but warm figure at his back with broad arms wrapped tight around his chest, how a body that has killed before cradles him sweetly as if afraid of its strength — it is kind. It makes Gavin remember that even in the darkest eras, there’s good to be found amidst the agony.

His mouth is dry, and his tongue is heavy, feeling out of place. Upon opening his eyes, slightly squinted in pain from keeping them shut for so long, he sees the passing streaks of light from lamp posts and the occasional vehicle — he’s a car then. He hears the low volume of the radio, but the words don’t make sense; the music feels like television snow in his head, incomprehensible and fuzzy.

“Gavin?”

And as much as music is fuzzy, that voice isn’t. This voice is important , his brain tells him, and therefore can’t be forgotten, should not be forgotten. So he doesn’t, and it’s with more energy than it should take that Gavin finds the words to say.

“Hi, love,” Gavin croaks out with a soft smile, wincing when it tugs at the split lip and pulling at his bruised cheek. He must look like a right mess, but all he can feel is a heady relief; Ryan is here, close to him and holding on tightly. “You look absolutely minging,” he says.

His thumb brushes under Ryan’s eyes, where heavy eyebags reside. In their months of being together and Ryan’s murmurings of his insomnia, Gavin’s never seen them so prominent, never seen Ryan so exhausted. His shoulders are sagging down, his eyes bloodshot, and every faint line makes Ryan look aged.

His hand drops down, already tired from exerting that much energy in a simple action. “What happened to you, Ry?”

“Gavin, darling,” Ryan whispers, a quiet mortification bleeding through. Large, calloused hands cup his cheek with a touch lighter than air; it’s a gentle touch, afraid of damaging Gavin more than the other man had. “What did they do to you ?”

Gavin’s brows furrow. After the exhausting series of events he’s gone through, his brain can’t process much and of what it can, it’s not very fast. He remembers, though, the one man that had taken him and hurt him; there had been no one else there. Adam.

But all he voices out is: “They?”

Ryan gives a small, slow nod. He looks...concerned, but whether it’s the confusion evident on Gavin’s face or the wounds evident everywhere else on him, Gavin doesn’t know. “There was a group of them there. But most of them were sitting around near the front of the place in a black car,” he explains. “It doesn’t matter though. Not anymore, when they’re already dead and about to rot in the ground. They already paid for what they did to you.”

Gavin mulls over Ryan’s words, a frown creeping on his lips. He can’t help but echo the words from before, how the man murmured images of Ryan from a lifetime ago — true or false, it seeps into every memory and fact he has on his lover, and Gavin’s struggling to find where the truth begins, where the lie ends. They blend into something muddy and incoherent, a failed painting of a portrait, and it makes Gavin’s head hurt more than it already has.

He shakes his head, an automatic response to rid the thoughts away, but he groans at the sudden motion. Eyes falling shut, his hand twitches with the urge to cover them, but he doesn’t. He can’t , more like.

“Gavin, darling, are you alright?”

Ryan’s voice is a timid whisper, so quiet and small; Gavin doesn’t like it at all. Doesn’t like that it’s him who put those emotions on Ryan’s face in the first place, that he’s responsible for the worry and fear instilled in this criminal who’s taken things so much worse than this — yet this is the breaking point.

But Gavin doesn’t voice those thoughts. He refuses to let Ryan see just how split open and carved up he is from the torture, the words and the wounds, and the raw sensitivity that overwhelms him. He refuses to let Ryan feel worse at his insecure thoughts, to let him know just how much the man had won even in his grave.

Gavin slowly cracks one eye open again, a weak and wavering smile on his face; the split lip is more of an inconvenience than he thought. “Can’t handle much,” he rasps, hopes it’s enough for Ryan to understand. The screaming and crying had taken all of his voice.

And it is enough, Gavin finds out, when Ryan grows more devastated. His hands are trembling as they cup Gavin’s cheeks, and his eyes are anguished in a way that Gavin’s never seen before — not on Ryan, not on anyone else. There’s a choked noise that escapes Ryan, and Gavin can feel guilt swallowing him up.

“Love,” he calls out, near inaudible. It’s enough to capture Ryan’s attention anyway, for his lover to sniffle quietly and brush his shaky thumb over his purpling cheekbones, his broken nose bridge. He makes eye contact with Ryan, puts as much reassurance and confidence he doesn’t feel into his gaze. “I’ll be okay.”

Somehow, Ryan becomes shakier, and the choked sob from before is a soft, teary whimper. The big, bad Vagabond, in all his painted glory and infamous reputation, is reduced to a human like the rest of them.

Despite unshed tears, Ryan voices out, “You will, and I’ll make damn sure of it. I should’ve been more careful, should’ve known that things would have caught up, and you’d be stuck in the middle of it.” His voice is tight, sounding more pained with each word that slips out. “I never meant for this to happen, I thought we would’ve been safe. I’m so sorry, I promise I’ll help you through this, but afterwards...if you don’t want me, I can leave forever. I can move across the country if it means you’re safe.”

And if Gavin could, he would laugh softly, the type of laughter saved for bitter moments when he doesn't know what to say. He just knows he’s hurting, and the moment is too painful, so he deflects, because it’s easier than handling the issue head-on.

But this is Ryan who looks so genuine in his words, Ryan who Gavin can trust to not hurt him like Adam had with his apologies. Who’s willing to put away his happiness if it meant Gavin was safe and could find his own happiness separate from Ryan’s. This is Ryan who is sweet and gentle, still holding onto Gavin kindly.

As ruthless as Los Santos is, a hurricane of a city wreaking destruction on whatever it touches, Ryan is the calm safety in the middle. Gavin can’t give him up so easily.

“No,” he murmurs, fingers twitching with the urge to hold Ryan’s hand. “Stay with me. I’ll be okay,” Gavin says. Still quiet, still weak — but a little more stubborn. “ We’ll be okay.”

It sounds much more hopeful and bright, a welcome thought against the dark descent Gavin’s mind had fallen to and the swirling pool of emotions that encompasses Ryan. We . Like a promise of sticking together through thick and thin, if Gavin had been a romantic, the situation less despairing, he’d say it’s almost like a vow in sickness and in health.

“We’ll be okay,” he repeats when he sees the flickering doubt in Ryan’s eyes, the way his throat jumps at a hesitant swallow. His eyes are fiery, and if he can’t express it outwardly, he knows in his soul that he means his words. It’s still not confidence or reassurance, but a belief in them.

It leaves Ryan silent for a moment, and Gavin can see the cogs rumbling in his head until Ryan mumbles, “I…okay. Us, this is an ‘us’ thing.” He leans his head forward, pressing their foreheads together and ignoring the running the paint; it’s comforting the way their noses graze, eyelashes fluttering against cheeks, and the shared space where their breath intertwined. “Us.”

Gavin closes his eyes shut, plays trust fall with Ryan and lets himself savor this moment of relief. His entire body stings and aches, mind littered with deeper wounds he can’t bring himself to face right now but can’t run away from without consequences. He’ll have to address the new insecurities clawing at his core, new scars he can’t hide so easily, and this atmosphere of guilt that hangs over both their heads, but he’s tired. They’re tired.

For now — being alive, being here with Ryan is enough. It’s okay. They’ll be okay.

“Us,” Gavin whispers in return, in full-hearted agreement.

#ragehappy #fahc #freewood #seiju writes #tw // torture

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seitjun · 5 years

Note

Some fahc jerevin just cleaning wounds?

jerevin // 800+ words // fahc au

notes: i love them so much; also i'll put a readmore later since im writing on my phone right now

“You’re an idiot, you know that?”

Gavin squirms in his seat with a pout as Jeremy’s grip on his shoulder tightens, but his other hand cleans the bullet wound with a gentle touch. With every soft wince, despite Gavin’s best attempts to squash it, he can see Jeremy’s shoulders hunch up more and more; his grip on his shoulder becomes almost painful with the subdued force.

“Jeremy, you’re being mean to me! You’re not allowed to be mean to injured people,” Gavin whines. He lifts his hand on his uninjured side, trying his best to pry Jeremy’s fingers off before he loses his entire arm. “And I’m alive, aren’t I? And you’re taking good care of me.” Gavin locks their fingers together, and his thumb barely brushes over Jeremy’s skin.

He feels the raised bumps of old scars and maps the marks of healed wounds. Appreciates the rough calluses of a life lived roughly and the cold band of a promise made years ago. He admires all of Jeremy that he can.

Jeremy grunts, unmollified, even as he gives a squeeze to their locked hands. He knows what Gavin is playing at, but he can’t help falling for it anyway when his eyes drift to the familiar band on his ring finger; this precious, little thing bonded to his dumb, self-sacrificing idiot. It’s awful, this mess he’s gotten himself into, but he hasn’t found any will to leave yet.

“Being alive doesn’t make you any less of an idiot,” Jeremy retorts after another hand squeeze, pulling away to resume cleaning Gavin’s wound. The idiot had been lucky that the shot went straight through his shoulders — no dealing with extra pain or a whiney Gavin while Jeremy dug through flesh and blood.

And maybe Jeremy’s mean for it, if anyone else had been looking into the chat considering it wasn’t a life-threatening injury, but it was damn close. All it would have taken was Gavin stepping an extra inch, for the cop to take just a second longer to aim his shot better, or for anything else to happen to end Gavin’s life.

Their lives were dedicated to a business built on the rules of Russian Roulette, where every single move they made only spun the cylinder until none of them could hope to find the empty chamber. Or hell, maybe there was never an empty one in the first place.

“Jeremy…”

Gavin winces as Jeremy chucks the bloodstained rag onto the floor, pulling out a roll of bandages with barely suppressed fury. He opens his mouth to call out the other’s name again, only to blanch at the cold look in Jeremy’s eyes. He sits with puffed cheeks, like the words are building up only to be trapped there, as Jeremy starts to bandage his wound.

“You can’t keep doing that, you know. You gotta stop being an idiot, Gav,” Jeremy warns, a jaw locked tight that Gavin swears he can hear the grinding teeth. “You don’t have to protect me when I can take care of myself.”

Gavin huffs, peering up at Jeremy with narrowed eyes. “A bit unfair, innit? I told you that exact same thing years ago when we first got in the business together, and you didn’t listen to me at all. We made a promise to protect each other.”

“I know what we promised to each other, but it doesn’t mean I like seeing you getting fucking hurt,” Jeremy says. He’s stopped his bandaging, instead snatching a pair of scissors and some tape. “It would’ve been safer if I took the hit instead of you running in front of me like those shitty romantic-action movies we watch.”

“That did feel like it was one of those scenes, hm,” Gavin murmurs, settling down a bit. Those movies were awful, and it does make him wince a bit to be compared to them. “It doesn’t matter though. I didn’t know if it was safer or not at the time. All I knew was that I needed you safe, Jeremy.”

Jeremy doesn’t say anything. He leans back in his spot to look at Gavin closely, shoulders heavy with the angry concern and underlying fear; tiredness is seeping into his bones now that he’s finished fixing up Gavin, and all he can see is the stark white color of the bandages.

“C’mon, love,” Gavin says as he links their hands again. His eyes meet Jeremy’s own, suddenly looking just as tired with dark bags underneath them. “If you want to be mad at me still, you can do it tomorrow. Right now, I just want to go to bed with you, sleep off the wound.”

And God save him, Jeremy concedes. He’s done as much as he could tonight, cleaning the wounds and looking after Gavin; tomorrow would be a fresh start, a new conversation.

#jerevin #ragehappy #rtah #fahc #seiju writes

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seitjun · 5 years

Text

having the time of our lives

1900+ words // freewood // fahc au

description: The proper response to being involved in a bank robbery doesn't involve making eye contact with one of the criminals, flirting with said criminal, and growing a small crush on him when it's over. Yet here Gavin is, doing all of the above.

extra notes: for the correct mood, listen to this song for the whole fic.

also now posted on ao3, here!

► || P L A Y

It starts like this: in the middle of a bank heist with the distress bell ringing, firefight shots echoing.

In the middle of it all, Gavin hides underneath one of the bank counters in the corner. There’s barely any protection afforded there, most hostages hiding wherever else better, but the hiding isn’t meant to be out of safety; it’s more of a small break in the chaos for Gavin to recuperate and catch a breath. To remind himself just how much he hates banks, that this is an utter inconvenience, and that honestly? Fuck the robbers who had to choose then to start their plan.

He knows he should be more worried for his safety with the violence going on so close, but Gavin – he’s never been a normal person, never been the type to live a life considered normal. And this is Los Santos, of all places; after a while, the violence is less of a threat, more of an annoyance.

If he walks three blocks to the left of his apartment, he reaches the supermarket where everything is marked up again, because of a crew raid. Take a right for five blocks instead, there’s a chance he’ll stumble on not-very-legal dealings and if he’s really unlucky, a dead body or two or maybe a whole crew. Hell, stay in his apartment, and he can hear a gunshot or two outside while he’s trying to do work.

Long story short: these criminals are bastards, but for all the wrong reasons in Gavin’s mind.

Despite it all, these sort of events do bring some fire in his life that Gavin can’t help but enjoy. Without any of those things, he’d be living a boring life, and historically, it’s never been good for anyone when he gets bored. Gavin’s doing the world a favor by living in Los Santos of all places; it has god awful employment opportunities, crime on every street corner, and not the best type of people, but at least it’s interesting, provided it doesn’t disrupt his usual routines.

It’s why he peeks out from his spot under the counter when everyone cowers and trembles. He turns his head to take in the scene, and for a brief moment, the world moves in slow-motion.

Across the bank lobby is one of the criminals – the most dangerous one in the leather jacket and skull mask. Behind the black mask with its right side painted red with blood splatters, somehow, a pair of the brightest blue eyes Gavin’s ever seen makes eye contact with him. It’s like a miniature stand-off amidst the chaos occurring all around them, and Gavin’s always had an awful sense of self-preservation, so he finds himself frozen in place and staring back with wide eyes.

Except he doesn’t feel any fear – hasn’t felt it much since he moved here – it’s more of a jolt to his system. Even more so when the man’s eyes crinkle behind his mask as if amused, raising a hand to give a two-fingered salute at Gavin as his other one shoots a police officer. A quick turn of his hand, and he pistol whips the one coming up behind him, shooting him dead after without breaking eye contact with Gavin.

And it’s concerning really, how much the cocky act impresses Gavin; he can’t deny how the criminal wears confidence like his jacket, well-fitting and belonging perfectly on him. Gavin can feel how his cheeks go warm, turning bright enough to peek underneath his tanned skin, and he knows that the man in the mask sees it. He knows, because the man blinks back in shock at him for a brief moment – and then fucking winks.

Winks as if he’s not a criminal robbing the most loaded bank in all of Los Santos, like he’s out walking in the streets like a normal civilian instead of holding them hostage; flirting as if he’s at the bar trying to pick up a warm body instead of shooting down cops trying to suppress him. Doesn’t even blink an eye at their surroundings or the fight, just keeps trucking on and sending flirty winks at Gavin.

It’s simultaneously the dumbest and most attractive thing Gavin’s ever seen.

Gavin huffs with a pout, rolling his eyes as he tucks his knees in and rests his chin on it. He watches the rest of the shootout with less attention on the fight, moreso on the man in the skull mask; like a moth to a flame, he can’t help how his eyes drift towards him every time. It’s enrapturing how the man makes crime look like an artform.

Eventually, there’s a distinct lack of police sirens outside and firing of bullets inside. Gavin eyes the bloodied mess on the hotel lobby, only to avert his eyes afterwards when he feels the starting of his gag reflex. He closes his eyes to dispel the feeling, and he only opens them when he hears the loud creaking of the bank’s wooden front doors followed by fast-paced footsteps.

In a messy line of unique outfits and stuffed bags, the robbers dash out in a chorus of cackles and cheers. If he’s counting correctly Gavin can see five of them, the last of which is standing by with a gun aimed at the civilians and holding the door open.

The criminal’s looking back and forth between the civilians and his team, but when some sort of signal goes out, Gavin finds himself pinned by the blue gaze again. It’s worse how his cheeks turn even redder when the man tilts his head with his eyes scrutinizing Gavin closely. And the icing on the cake really?

The man blows a damned kiss towards his way before he’s off following his team, skull mask still bloodied and gun swinging freely in his hand.

Gavin groans into his knees, hiding his face against it for as long as he can. He peeks up from his hiding spot when he hears the late whirring of a helicopter and the distinct noise of a SWAT team, watches them burst into the mess that the bank’s turned into.

Distantly, he watches them methodically get the trembling civilians out of the bank; he must be a damn anomaly among them when they finally reach him, looking more flustered than afraid of the whole situation. But as he’s escorted out and his eyes bounce around the entire scene to take it in, he notices at least that there’s not a single, dead civilian to be found.

At least that’s one redeeming factor for them; still doesn’t excuse how Gavin has to go to the bank across town now to do his business, or how he still replays the wink and blown kiss from that cocky criminal. And it definitely doesn’t excuse how he finds himself searching up ‘love at first sight in a bank robbery with a criminal’.

It’s all so inconvenient honestly.

A few days later, the bank robbery turns into old news. Los Santos is a city built on crime, and Gavin rolls his eyes at the most recent news article detailing a failed police raid of a suspected gang base. Another click, and he snorts at the unfortunate mugshots of idiotically caught crewmembers.

It’s boring really, and Gavin hates boring things.

He exits out of those tabs, opens up a new one and unashamedly types: los santos skull mask criminal. It brings up a few shopping deals for buying masks that looks like an imitation of the man from the bank’s, but he pays no attention to those. Instead, he clicks on an article further down the page, titled ‘The Masked Terror of Los Santos: the Vagabond’.

It’s the only decent article Gavin’s read on the guy, detailing out the few, known facts about him. Says that no one knows his face or his voice, but that his name may be Ryan after it slipped from a crew mate’s mouth; that he used to be a freelance mercenary but now runs with the current ruling crew of Los Santos called the Fakes; how the man’s a damned maniac with a screw knocked loose, no mercy for anything but the kill and the glory.

All terribly horrifying facts, but it only piques his interest more.

(Though a personal addendum: the guy had the prettiest eyes Gavin’s ever seen and acts like an absolute idiot. Gavin’s heart is swooning.)

Ever since the robbery, Gavin’s been invested in finding everything about the guy, and he’s even looked into teaching himself how to hack for that information. Maybe not the best reasoning for such a skill, but Gavin’s never claimed to be a selfless guy, and he’s certainly never one to miss out on looking for an attractive guy.

He’s too entranced by the article that he misses how a shadow suddenly looms over him, watching him with an amused expression as he hunches over his laptop like a goblin. There’s an occasional odd noise as he reads portions he disagrees with and mentally amends, even a choking noise as he takes a swig of unfortunately, luke-warm tea, but still no awareness. It isn’t until a soft cough and then –

“How come a pretty guy like you is sitting all alone here?”

Gavin startles in his seat at the smooth, Southern accent that sounds out next to him. Freezes for a moment before his eyes catch his current, then slams his laptop lid shut. He turns narrowed eyes at the stranger that’s suddenly getting into his business, scathing words on the tip of his tongue to bitch out the man.

But the words die on his tongue as quick as they had come when he looks up, his eye connecting with a pair of the brightest blue eyes he’s ever witnessed, and Gavin feels the breath knocked out of him. Deja-vu kicks his ass while his thirst distracts him, because fuck — the bank heist guy is standing there, looking smug with his unmasked face and thumbs tucked into his jean pockets.

“So, you do remember me?” The man chuckles, all low and rumbling, and he takes a seat across Gavin. His lips are tugged into a small smile as he leans back, arms crossed and rippling with muscles that Gavin tries not to stare at (and fails miserably at).

All words escape Gavin at that point, mouth still left flapping open and close in shock. He’s never lived a normal life, had no plans to ever live one in a city like Los Santos, but even this sort of thing makes him reel. He’s still in shock, but the silence is starting to extend too much, so he blurts out the first thing he can think of —

“That was the best pick-up line you had?”

The attractive man – criminal, Gavin’s brain reminds him – splutters. Loses his whole slick, suave act he’s got going on, the smirk getting lost to a pout that shouldn’t fit on a criminal but somehow does. He even huffs, cheeks ballooning for a quick second, as if he’s actually indignant about his line being honestly called out for what it is: atrocious.

There must be something weird happening in Los Santos, but the sight is simultaneously adorable and funny enough that Gavin bursts into squeaky laughter, eyes squinting and hands coming up to muffle his mouth. And Gavin’s only been proven right over and over again – Los Santos is the farthest thing from boring.

(But too busy laughing, Gavin misses how the criminal’s eyes go wide with wonder at his laughter. Misses how just maybe, Gavin’s gotten him hooked as quick as he got to Gavin.

It starts like this, their story: in the middle of a crowded coffee shop, two strangers from opposite lives colliding in the dumbest way possible.)

◾|| S T O P

#rtah #ragehappy #freewood #fahc #fanfic #seiju writes

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seitjun · 5 years

Text

once in a lifetime

7600+ words // freewood // fahc au

Description Being a criminal has its downsides. One of it is missing out on the dating scene, because really, it’s usually not normal to date a criminal. And now Ryan’s met someone who’s not exactly normal, is totally willing to date him, and is probably way out of his league.

extra notes: it’s officially a series titled ‘Romance for Dummies’ fellas; this is the second part to this fic. for background, cheesy romance montage music – listen to this song!

also available on ao3 (link)!

(one.)

“Do you even have any idea what you’re doing?” Geoff poses the question with a grimace. He leans against the doorway as he watches Ryan fiddle with his outfit, hands unable to stop fidgeting. Usually more confident, it’s odd for Geoff to see someone like Ryan act nervous – and he’s not even facing a chance of death. Geoff revises his question: “Hell, have you actually ever been on a date?” He’s beginning to suspect a certain answer when Ryan switches out his jacket a third time. “Absolutely not,” Ryan answers, and he can feel the exasperation radiating from his boss. Ryan ignores it like usual. “I’ve been too busy living the criminal life to date someone–” Geoff opens his mouth. “–and fucking someone is different. One-night stands aren’t relationships.” Geoff closes his mouth. Fair point. Despite it, a frown plays on his lips at this odd situation he’s been pushed into. What is he supposed to do anyway? He’s not exactly qualified to give advice on dating – only god knows how he landed Jack – but he’s not soulless enough to be a passive bystander. He doesn’t want to watch Ryan come home with his tail tucked behind his legs when the date goes horribly wrong. Besides it being a sad sight, Geoff isn’t ready to be annihilated by a broken-hearted Vagabond. “So...are you just winging this dating scenario? Because I did that before, and it’s a dumb as dicks idea.” Geoff takes care not to mention that he still wings dating, nevermind that he and Jack have been together for a long time now. Ryan snorts, eyeing Geoff from the reflection of the mirror. “I’m not you, boss. I actually know to research stuff when it’s important,” Ryan looks at himself in the mirror with a more serious gaze, “and this date is important." Geoff whistles. For the most part, Ryan is a laid back man, even managing to be relaxed when serious. This time, Geoff can see the intense determination in Ryan’s eyes and the lack of humor in his conviction – his question of how important it is to Ryan is easily answered. “Oh boy, okay. This is a real big deal then,” he mutters. “You, uh, need anything from me before you go off on your date?” Geoff winces at how awkward he sounds, but he’s trying, dammit. As odd as it is, he wants to support the guy’s dip into dating. “Advice? Opinions? Maybe even suggestions?” Ryan doesn’t answer immediately. His eyes are unerringly focused on his jacket, and he frowns at himself in the mirror: “Does this outfit make me look like a criminal?” (Of all the questions to ask of Geoff when he’s being so fucking generous– ) “Ryan, buddy. You’re wearing your Vagabond outfit.”

He’s not ready for this at all. Ryan lingers at a wooden, apartment door with clammy hands. One stays hidden behind him with a small bouquet of flowers, but the other floats in the air as he debates when to knock. In his pocket is the reminder that he’s arrived five minutes early from their planned meeting time, as well as three internet tabs that have dating advice – all varying degrees of helpfulness. He tugs at the collar of his light jacket, changing out his Vagabond jacket after Geoff’s tired sigh. He supposes the other’s right that it’d bring too much attention on him on his date. Even so, he can feel how uncomfortable he is without the comforting weight of his jacket. It takes another moment of shifting his weight around and talking himself up to push himself forward. His knuckles meet the wood three times, knocking at a hopefully okay volume. He’s awfully anxious despite wanting this badly, and his heart is pounding in his chest, so close to jumping out. It only worsens when he hears the faint ‘I’m coming! Give me a sec!’ and Ryan wonders if he’s started sweating already. “Ryan, you’re early!” Gavin’s face pops out from behind the door, and his cheeks are flushed red. A dopey grin plays on his lips as it accompanies the giddy shine in his eyes. His excitement is contagious, and already, Ryan can feel his nerves start to settle a bit. “I didn’t want to be late or keep you waiting, so I arrived earlier to be sure,” Ryan confesses. He gives a small smile, hoping he doesn’t come off as weird. “Oh! I, uh, got you some flowers too. I read that people like flowers, and I hope that you’re not allergic to them?” Ryan reveals the item he had picked up half an hour ago, slipping it from behind his back. He hears the little gasp as he presents it to Gavin, and he ducks his head in delighted embarrassment when Gavin takes it with a happy croon. Ryan hazards a glance up, his breath stolen away at Gavin cradling the gift; his eyes radiate fondness. “Oh, Ryan, this gift is absolutely top! I can’t believe you got me something like this!” Gavin is bubbly, filled to the brim with affection for the awkward criminal. His thumb brushes a carnation's petal, its orange shade bright beneath tanned skin. “I didn’t know your favorites, so I got you the prettiest bouquet I saw. Reminded me of you, ‘cus you’re, y’know, very pretty. Er...” Ryan trails off with a sheepish grin. His face is flushed with his words absolutely fucked up, but he’s genuine in all that he’s saying. He figures that Gavin can figure out what he’s saying, and he’s rewarded with a tight hug. His mind reels when he feels another reward in the form of a soft kiss on his cheek. “You’re lovely, Ryan. The loveliest of them all,” Gavin crows. “Here, let me put these in some water, so they won’t die, and we can head off!” Ryan doesn’t say anything as Gavin returns inside his apartment. He stays still in his spot, a hand on the spot where Gavin’s lips had met his cheek sweetly; he grins like an idiot.

“Absolutely not, I respect gravity too much.” “But Ryan, it’d be a sick party trick, and even for your job, you could terrify blokes so easily. Plus you’re getting a superpower and a million dollars! You don’t lose out at all!” "I'm scary enough on my own," Ryan frowns. He had worked hard for his reputation. "I already get millions from heisting, and I'm not for parties anyway." Gavin rolls his eyes. He chatters on about the hypothetical situation, trying to convince Ryan how good anti-gravity powers really are. His hands are moving everywhere in wide gestures, and he’s too lost in the conversation to take much notice of it. It takes a wine glass almost tipping over for Ryan to finally stop Gavin’s movements. “Gav, careful, we don’t want to make a mess here,” Ryan chides. He takes one of Gavin’s hands into his own, gives it a gentle squeeze that makes Gavin pause before giggling. It catches Ryan’s attention, and he tugs his hand away, flustered and changing the topic. “Your gravity question isn’t going to help you out with red wine stains on the white tablecloth.” “Well, not this specific one. I have tons more, like–” “Just eat your food, before I eat it all for you. I mean, I'm always hungry, and I do love steak a lot…” “Ryan, no!” Gavin picks up his fork to eat a cut of his steak before Ryan can. He sticks his tongue out at Ryan while his cheek is puffed with the food. He earns an eye roll from Ryan, and another order of ‘eat’ , delivered with a huff. “I am eating, but I like talking to you a lot too, you twit.” “I do too, but food is always the first priority. Even before you, Gav,” Ryan retorts to Gavin’s affronted squeak. “Hey, look, I’m paying for this date! I’m going to eat my money’s worth and yours too, soon enough!” Gavin huffs, but he does continue eating again, much to Ryan’s smug glee. They devolve into a quiet dinner, but it’s no less comfortable than the from before; it feels nice that this simple dinner date is going well. From the mess that he was at the start, Ryan feels more like himself now. He’s still unsure whenever he does certain things – such as grabbing Gavin’s hand like an idiot who didn’t ask – but he feels more comfortable. He’s not as worried about fucking this whole thing up when he’s shown Gavin how much of a mess he is in five different ways already. And Gavin is still here, taking it in stride with a laugh. It’s easy to lose himself in the conversation, taken in by Gavin’s playfulness and curiosity so completely. The banter is quick and bright, tidbits of personal information coming out naturally, and Ryan’s 90% sure that Gavin is into him as much as Ryan is into Gavin. It’s a good feeling, and Ryan really did work himself up over nothing. “Y’know, I already miss the shy Ryan at my doorstep,” Gavin pipes up after a few minutes of contented eating. “You were bloody adorable, lookin’ a lil’ lost and embarrassed. It was like I was in secondary school again, and you were trying to ask me out to the dance.” “Hey, no, I wasn’t lost, alright? I’ll give you half-credit on embarrassed though, because it was more like...flustered. I didn’t know what to expect on a date with you!” He defends. Gavin’s voice lowers, amusement seeping in, “The feared Vagabond gets so flustered going on a date. I saw you robbing the bank so confidently, and walking up to me in the coffee place with that pick-up line? And then– you know!” He explodes into a amused laughter, eyes shut as his smile stretches his cheeks. “Shut up,” Ryan retorts with no heat at all, besides the ones present on his cheeks. He’s too distracted by the sight of Gavin being so carefree to put much thought in his defense. He suppresses the fond sigh that threatens to escape. “I just...didn’t know what to expect on a date in general. This is the first date I’ve ever been on.” Ryan doesn’t miss how Gavin sobers up a bit after his confession. There’s still a wide smile playing on his pink lips – and oh, god, his heart is racing – but it’s less at Ryan’s expense. It’s turned soft and gentle, and Ryan swears this man could be the death of him when he feels Gavin hold his hand. “I guess being a criminal makes it awful horrible to get on the dating scene. You can’t really put down your career in a dating profile, can you? Even if you do make good money," Gavin teases. He squeezes Ryan’s hand, reminiscent of the scene minutes before. “I’m lucky that I get to be your first date ever, and hopefully, I’m lucky enough to have more of your firsts. Like maybe your first, second date?” Ryan doesn’t even try to stifle his grin and nods excitedly. (And the articles open on his phone remain unused. He didn't need them after all.)

(two.)

“You’re wearing your riding leathers today. You taking your date out on your motorcycle this time?” Geoff finds himself watching Ryan get ready for his date again, this time with less worry. From what he’s been hearing from Ryan’s recountings and seeing Ryan’s frequent excursions now, the whole courting thing must be going well. It’s nice to know that Ryan’s been successful in his first dating endeavor so far. Ryan nods. “He saw a clip of me making an escape from a heist on a motorcycle,” he pauses as he sifts through his closet, “Said he wants to ride a bike with me. It turns out he likes bikes more than cars, so I’m showing him my Shotaro.” He pulls out a hanger with another leather jacket hanging from it. Scanning it for a second, Ryan deems it small enough for it to fit Gavin; it’d still be a little big considering Ryan’s size, but it’s an older jacket from a year or two ago. It’s his best bet, at this point, and it does match his current riding leathers – almost like a set. The implication sends his heart into an awful frenzy of fluttering. “Y’know, you never told me how you met your guy. It happened so suddenly that you started going out on dates,” Geoff points out. He’s curious to know, especially since Ryan let slip that his date knew Ryan’s career as a criminal. He’s both curious and concerned for Ryan and crew if the date ended up being a traitor. Ryan shrugs, but a red tint starts to swarm his face. He sets the jacket in a nearby backpack that he slings on, reminding himself to bring an extra helmet from the garage. He shifts awkwardly as he ponders about telling the truth. “Remember the bank heist at Pacific Standard, about two months ago?” He murmurs. “He was, uh, one of the civilians there. I noticed him after we made eye contact, but I realized that he wasn’t scared. Looked more inconvenienced really.” “So, how did that turn into you scoring some dick?” Ryan scowls, leveling Geoff with a narrowed look at the crude words; there’s been nothing like that mentioned in their dates. Ryan’s busy trying to figure out romance first anyway with Gavin. “We made eye contact, and I noticed that he was cute. I winked at him, and the guy didn’t hate it, so I kept doing it, and then,” Ryan pauses, cheeks turning a brighter red. “I blew a kiss at him, tracked him down to a coffee shop that same week, and, uh, it spiralled into this.” Silence reigns completely over his room, and Ryan doesn’t dare look up. His decision is only proving to be right after Geoff finally busts out laughing after their silence. He cackles and howls so loudly that it echoes in their penthouse. “What kinda fuckin’ story is that, Haywood?" “It's mine, now shut up,” Ryan grumbles with no heat. He feels a small smile tug at his lips from Geoff’s amusement. It’s an approval of its own kind.

There’s little to no nervousness in Ryan this time when he sees Gavin waiting by the curb of his apartment building. After the first handful of dates, he’s figured out how to soothe his nerves and taken to reminding himself the most important thing: they were both into each other. After all, if the attraction and the interest hadn’t been mutual, they wouldn’t be here still, would they? (Unless it’s a long con from Gavin, but Ryan knows him enough – Gavin is impulsive and spontaneous, absolutely horrible at anything pre-planned. Besides, doubting Gavin’s genuinity would only lead to a quick spiral into anxiousness and self-doubt, and Ryan could do that in his own time.) “You looked so handsome riding in on that bike, Ry,” Gavin compliments, first thing. His lips pull into a cheeky grin, and he moves forward to press a greeting kiss on Ryan’s cheek after tugging his helmet off. “Does this mean I get to ride with you, like how you did in that one clip?” Ryan snorts, cutting the engine off and getting off the seat. He takes the helmet from Gavin to set on his seat before he curls his arm around Gavin’s waist to hold him close. He waves vaguely in his backpack’s direction. “I mean, I did bring an extra jacket and helmet for someone here. And I knew I was gonna get pestered ‘bout it if I didn’t do it, so…” It’s with a happy chirp of a noise that Gavin tears away from Ryan’s hold, hands already reaching for the backpack. Ryan rolls his eyes, muttering ‘impatient’ below his breath, but he shrugs it off anyway and reaches for the items inside. “First thing, helmet. Obvious thing to have, or else you’ll have a nasty time if we crash. I don’t want you to lose any more brain cells that you’ve lost already.” “Oi!” “Kidding,” Ryan amends, a cough following afterwards. It earns him a gentle shove to his side, but it moves him not at all, as he places the helmet next to his own. But his movements stutter here, eyes catching the jacket and reminding him of his thoughts from before. He wonders if Gavin will realize the choice behind the jacket, will realize how much Ryan likes him that he’s giving the man a piece of himself. A piece of himself that he's never let anyone else have. Would he feel the same frenzy in his chest? “Ry? You okay?” Ryan startles, shaking his head to clear his confusion. “Sorry, Gav, I’m fine. Just got lost in my thoughts, but here, uh, I have riding leathers too." Ryan manages to fumble his words out as he tugs the leather jacket out of his bag. He sets the bag down to show off the jacket to Gavin, hands trembling slightly; a familiar nervousness settles in. “They are actually meant to protect. I don’t just wear my Vagabond jacket to make a statement.” No sound passes between them for a beat, and Ryan looks around awkwardly to avoid Gavin’s eyes. The jacket is still in his hands, Gavin is silent, and Ryan wonders if Gavin’s already caught the meaning – how dumb of him to assume that it wasn’t obvious already to the man, if it was to Ryan. How dumb of Ryan to believe that Gavin would feel the same about the jacket; this isn’t Gavin’ first time with romance, and he wouldn’t fall as hard and as quick as Ryan has. He starts to take the jacket back, a promise of grabbing a different one sitting on his tongue. But quicker than Ryan can pull away, Gavin’s hand darts out to gingerly grip Ryan’s wrist. It's a small, soft grip that has Ryan pausing to look back at Gavin with wide eyes. “Sorry, Ry, I didn’t want you to...go,” Gavin murmurs sheepishly. He drops his grip from Ryan’s wrist, moving to run a gentle hand over the soft leather of the jacket. “I didn’t know how to react since it looked like it was yours, yeah?” Ryan nods. Words are stuck in his throat as he catches the way Gavin looks at the jacket. “Could bloody tell with all the nicks in it. There’s even a spot here where you tried to sew up a hole,” Gavin giggles, and it lets Ryan’s nervousness seep out. "Some darker spots where stuff didn't wash out all the way." “Yeah, it’s an old jacket of mine, and I hoped it’d be small enough to not look that weird on you. It was one of my first ones I bought since joining the crew, so it’s got history,” Ryan mumbles. “That’s partly why I wanted to give you this one to wear. That, and...it looks the nicest out of the rest. It's like my current one. Black leather, but with red accents instead of my blue.” “It’s kinda like complements, innit? I’m the red to your blue, and we make it work together. Good thing that red and blue look good together,” Gavin jokes. Ryan’s breath hitches, because Gavin’s hit the nail on the head even if Gavin doesn’t exactly realize it. He nods, and he offers a small smile as he presents the jacket to Gavin again; the meaning isn’t lost on either of them about this jacket. The question is asked in his movements, and Gavin responds in kind. There’s something to be said about the intimacy of the moment, as Ryan carefully slips the jacket onto Gavin’s shoulders. He watches with a held breath how Gavin slips his arms into the sleeves, knuckles barely past the long sleeves, and adjusts the new weight on his figure. Even swallowed up by the excess fabric, Gavin looks comfortably at home in Ryan’s jacket, and Ryan can’t help the affection that surges in his heart. “Y’know, I can see why you wear that jacket everywhere, even if you’re not on a bike. It does make a statement,” Gavin teases. “You’re fucking awful,” is all Ryan can groan out before he’s attacked with an armful of Gavin. But he can’t stifle the smile on his face as Gavin tucks his head in the crook of his neck, nuzzling his cheek against the skin there and making joyful, little chirping noises. “And, you don’t have to worry. I know it’s not like a necklace, but I get what you’re saying,” Gavin smiles, small and soft with apple-red cheeks. He peers up at Ryan from his spot with shining eyes. “I like you a lot, Ry.” Ryan feels like a mess – all he can manage is a grateful nod as he tucks Gavin closer to his side; his body feels like fire.

The perfect moment, in Ryan’s eyes, is when they’re the only ones left in the highway lane. Los Santos is good to them today as they ride out of the city, heading off to nowhere for a passing moment. It’s there that he can amp up the engine to go blasting off at a 90 miles per hour and to the tune of nowhere’s promises. He can still feel the rush from the speed, see his surroundings blur around him, and it’s easy to lose himself to the thrill of the ride. He lets experience and instincts take over the driving. For a good while, he can stop thinking about everything besides the moment and driving wildly in it. It's the best type of alone time he could get when the adrenaline got too much and the stress too heavy from their jobs. Now though, Ryan can feel the comforting press of Gavin’s body against his back. Warm and present, Ryan feels less reckless even at high speed; he's more content, especially when Gavin squeezes his arms around Ryan’s waist to hold on. The touch is grounding. He had planned on driving with no destination in mind. Take Gavin out on a ride to see everything and nothing that exists on the road. But then he thinks about another city near Los Santos, where the people are nicer and the streets are safer. Thinks about the famous coffee shop there, the overhyped tourist attractions, and the idea of exploring it together. He thinks Gavin would like it, and it's enough for him to take the next exit there. Ryan slips one hand off the handles for a moment, placing it over one of Gavin’s that’s on his stomach. His thumb brushes the exposed skin of that soft hand, and distantly, he amends his statement from before: this is the perfect moment.

(three.)

“How’s loverboy doing? You haven’t been on a date with your guy in what...a month now?” “You’ve been keeping track?” Geoff shrugs, not giving any answer as obvious as it is. “Hard not to when it turned routine for you to disappear near weekly. Hell, I don’t think I went on as many dates as you have, even with Jack.” Ryan scowls from his spot behind the refrigerator door, pausing in his search for one last can of diet coke. He throws up a middle finger at Geoff, and he can feel the eye roll from the other. “He’s been out of the country for a job,” Ryan mumbles eventually when Geoff's stare doesn't drop. He avoids mentioning personal details about his date. He sighs and shuts the fridge door close when it looks like there’s no more of his drink left. Leaning against the door, he continues, “He said he shouldn’t away for more than that, said the filming went well. But…” “You miss him. Like a metric shit ton, dude,” Geoff finishes for Ryan. His expression’s taken on a more serious one, and Ryan is thankful for how understanding Geoff could be. “Is that why you’ve been on your phone a lot more? I see you always checking it now.” Ryan gives a helpless shrug, fiddling with the hem of his shirt. Old and worn, threads stick out from the end, but it’s one comfort out of a situation that has Ryan feeling stilted. He hadn’t realized how much Gavin affected his life with those weekly dates, considering they spent most of their week away at their own work. It’s weird, being vulnerable like this. “He’s busy over there, but sometimes he’ll sneak a text in about his day. There’s usually a photo too, and I like them. It lets me know that he’s doing okay, since I can’t be there with him,” he confesses. Quiet and emotional, he wonders what a sight he must make in front of Geoff. “Damn. You’re really into the guy,” Geoff whistles. He’s figured out that Ryan genuinely likes the guy, but he had never paid attention to how much exactly. “Sounds like he’s real good for you.” Ryan’s eyes soften as he eyes the small bump in his pocket where he knows his phone is hiding away. He thinks about his wallpapers, how they’re photos of them together and how it changes weekly for every new date. Thinks about their texts that always end in a ‘see you soon’ and never a ‘goodbye’ . Thinks about how much he likes being next to Gavin, and how, sometimes, he can’t speak because he’s too overwhelmed with affection. There’s not enough words to describe how good Gavin is. He tears his eyes away from his phone – people say focusing on the wrong things can make time slower, and maybe there’s some truth to it – and looks back up at Geoff. Ryan tries to find something to say, even if it’d never capture the whole experience of being with Gavin. Before he can say a single word though, a familiar text tone rings in his ears, and as quick as he had looked away – he’s grabbing his phone to peer at the newest message. from [dear]: got home just now. im knackered, but i wanna see you ry. come over and bring food please? to [dear]: !! And it’s genuinely amazing how Geoff stays upright after Ryan barrels through him and out the door. Geoff resigns himself to this fate of a lovestruck Ryan, ready to be by his date’s side at a drop of a hat. Love looks good on the guy, at least.

“Christ, you’re too good for me sometimes, Ry.” Gavin groans in delight through another mouthful of food, savoring the rice and curry from the local Thai place near his apartment. He doesn’t eat much, but after complaining about the shitty airplane food, Ryan can only watch in understanding as Gavin rinses through the takeout. They’re sat on the actually nice couch in Gavin’s living room, Gavin sitting back against one of the arms with Ryan laying on Gavin’s chest. Broad arms wrap tightly around the other’s waist, and they relax to the background noise of a documentary. “I’m just a normal good, but relative to you, I can see that,” Ryan jokes with a grin and earning a half-hearted glare from Gavin. He doesn’t bat an eye, casually grabbing a tissue with one hand and wiping a stray morsel of food from the corner of Gavin’s lips. “I like it anyway. Also helps a guy out with his ego.” “This is one of those sometimes where you’re not too good for me now. You suck,” Gavin huffs, but he doesn’t look too bothered. Otherwise, he’d be batting Ryan’s hand away and pouting up a storm. Instead, he lets Ryan fuss over him with the food and tissues; he must’ve seen how much Ryan had needed it. “Just finish your food, so we can cuddle, idiot,” Ryan can’t help saying fondly. He nuzzles his cheek against Gavin’s collarbone and squeezes him in a hug, letting out a soft and impatient noise. Something that vaguely sounds ‘we’re already cuddling’ escapes from Gavin, but Ryan can’t find it in himself to deign that with a response. He shuts his eyes and savors the moment that it is – the low volume of the television, the scraping sounds of Gavin eating the dregs of his food, and the quiet breathing of theirs that stay in sync. Ryan’s always thought that nothing could come close to the love he has for the criminal life; this is coming pretty damn close. He stays like that for what seems like forever, already close to dozing off from the serenity of it all. He jolts from his half-slumber when he hears the loud ‘click!’ of a camera, followed up by a sheepish ‘oops’ from Gavin. “Why’re you taking photos of me right now, Gav…?” Ryan asks. His words slur together in his sleepiness, and his eyes are blurry when he attempts to peer up at Gavin through half-lidded eyes. Gavin offers a small smile, setting his empty plate down to instead run his hands through Ryan’s hair. His nails scratch at a sensitive spot just right , and Ryan’s eyes flutter at the sensation. “You’re like a lil’ puppy, Ry. ‘S cute,” Gavin giggles. He peppers kisses on Ryan’s forehead and nose and wherever else he could reach with the criminal's face semi buried against his body. “And I like photos, that’s why I sent a lot to you on my trip! I was miffed that you didn’t return any, love. I wanted to see you!” Ryan mumbles incoherently, his cheeks turning pink. “I didn’t know you wanted photos of me. Wouldn’t have been exciting anyway, since it’d be weird taking photos of me committing crimes.” Gavin snorts, saying nothing for or against that point; that’ll be something to talk about more seriously later on, Ryan notes. As much as Gavin doesn’t care for the crimes that involves heisting, Ryan doesn’t know where Gavin stands on his shadier aspects. It’d really be a terrible thing to discuss currently. “I just like anything that’ll remind me of you, Ryan, you dolt. You could’ve sent me a photo of you brushing, and I’d enjoy it,” Gavin teases. “So, now, I want a photo of us together! Say ‘cheese’, Ryebread!” Ryan’s given no time to argue or pose decently, so he settles for glancing at the phone in Gavin’s hand and gives a lazy smile. It should be enough to satiate Gavin, what with the look in his eyes, and Ryan’s proven right when Gavin croons in happiness. “Lemme see, Gav,” Ryan requests, butting his head against the other’s hand. His face is gently bat away, a hand patting his cheek absentmindedly. “Hol’ up, let me do this one thing, and...aha–! I have a new lockscreen,” Gavin says triumphantly. He clicks his phone shut before turning it to show Ryan. At another click, Ryan sees the photo in all its glory. Gavin takes up most of the photo, his arm outstretched to catch the both of them in the frame of the photo with the other still running through sleek, black hair. Ryan’s only present in the lower half of the frame where the camera’s caught his hands clutching onto Gavin tightly, and his face is half-hidden against his shirt. They both have an affectionate look in their eyes, glittering with joy at just being with each other. And it’s...nice. Ryan’ll even go as far as to say it looks domestic of them, considering one of them is a well-known criminal, and the other is a civilian with enough moral flexibility to date a criminal. What a dream couple they make. Ryan buries his face against Gavin’s body again, murmuring, “Y’know, if someone ever sees these pictures, they’d think we’re boyfriends?” He tries to ignore the feeling of want in his stomach. It sounds like a dumb thing to say when they’ve been going on dates for months now – a trend that doesn’t seem likely to disappear anytime soon – but Ryan’s hesitant. It’d be too assuming of him to believe that they’re past this courting stage, not when Ryan’s always heard that a question like that has to be asked first. He doesn’t want to ruin what they’ve built up already. “Huh? I mean...I’d hope so?” Gavin’s voice comes out confused, and peering up, Ryan can see the way Gavin's brows furrow deeply. Ryan thinks he's stopped breathing himself. “I haven’t been telling all my co-workers about my lovely dates only for them to assume we’re not something, at least. But I don’t want to cock it up, so it’s fine if...you don’t want to be something, it turns out.” “No!” The outburst is sudden, has Ryan sitting up from his spot now and looking down at a wide-eyed Gavin. He freezes in his spot as his cheeks turn pink, but he supposes that there’s nothing he can do to take back his answer now. It’s not a wrong answer, but it’s rarely that Ryan loses composure like so instantaneously and has him sounding like a child. He clears his throat, settling down again as he slowly reaches for Gavin’s hand. “I want to be your boyfriend. I like you a lot, Gav, and I don’t see myself without you for a long time,” he murmurs. He runs a thumb over bony knuckles, feels the soft skin of a person who’s never had to turn to crime to survive; Ryan wonders if his own hand feels rough and calloused. “I’m just not good at this. Or reading into social stuff.” He shrugs lamely. “I didn’t want to jump to conclusions and risk losing you. God, Gav, you’re the best damn thing that’s ever happened to me, and if you’d let me, I want to be your boyfriend,” he repeats. “Ry, you’re being too sappy now,” Gavin whines, but there’s a dopey grin on his face. His free hand rises to cup Ryan’s cheek, and Ryan shuts his eye as Gavin strokes his cheek so lovingly that Ryan questions why he hesitated in the first place. (His assumption would’ve been so damn right.) “That’s a yes, right? Otherwise, I’ll have to change your name in my phone from ‘dear’ as soon as I can.” At that, Gavin just squeals, a happy smile lighting up the room as he peppers Ryan’s face in kisses; Ryan assumes this time, that Gavin’s answer is a resounding yes.

(four.)

“You’ve been scaring the crew lately. I don’t know what kind of murder shit you pulled, but could it wait until after the heist?” Geoff catches Ryan all alone at the kitchen counter of the penthouse, startling the mercenary from whatever business he had been invested in on his computer. He takes a seat next to the confused guy, cradling two cans of diet coke in his hands before he hands one to Ryan. It’s accepted easily with a crack! of the tab, and Geoff can only hope that it’ll satiate Ryan as they talk. The guy absolutely hates this kind of intervention, and Geoff needs his crew to not be afraid of Ryan. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I haven’t done anything besides the jobs you’ve been assigning me,” Ryan answers after a long sip. “None of the jobs have been hits either. Just shake-ups or acting as an enforcer. I told you I stopped taking the bad jobs a long time ago." “Look, man, I’m not saying that exactly! It’s just...the crew’s acting weird ‘round you, and I wondered if something happened.” Geoff slumps in his seat as Ryan nods, almost demurely and sadly from previous words; Geoff hates how easily Ryan gets him to feel bad. “C’mon, buddy, I was just worried. I know that if shit gets stressful for you, it can get dangerous for you.” Ryan plays with the tab of his soda can, flicking it in thought as the ringing noises sound out. “I haven’t been that stressed that it’s getting bad for me. I’ve been pretty good honestly,” he shrugs. He pauses there. “The only thing that’s happened recently enough for the crew to get worried is that I have a boyfriend now, but–” “I’m sorry, repeat that?” “Huh? I have a boyfriend, but the crew doesn’t know I’ve even been on dates, so–” “Hold the fuck up, stay there, and do not fucking talk until I’m done, because still what the fuck? ” Geoff’s voice turns shrill. “What do you mean you got a boyfriend?!” “Oh, yeah. The guy I’ve been going on dates with and I are official now.” “When?!” “Two weeks ago.” “And were you ever gonna fuckin’ tell me that detail?!” Ryan hesitates. He takes another sip of his drink instead, one that’s taking too long for it to be natural, and he looks almost sheepish. He’s hoping for the world to end or the floor to swallow him up right now – either would be an amazing escape right now from a glaring Geoff. Geoff groans loudly, transitioning to a yell of a wail, as he holds his head in his hands. “Ryan, man. You’re an idiot sometimes.” “That’s not very nice of you to say.” “Never said I was nice,” Geoff grumbles. He drags his hands down his face with a sigh, but above his fingers, he peers at Ryan with an odd look in his eyes. Geoff scrutinizes the man sitting next to him, words from before registering more completely. It’s true that Ryan’s come a long way from being the person he was years ago – cruel and malicious and not exactly Ryan back then – but he’s changed even more lately. Ryan’s still a sarcastic asshole to the the crew who likes the rush from crime and power, but he’s also softer now. Softer in the way that Ryan will gently smile whenever he hears that specific text tone; how Ryan has taken to thieving little knick knacks like jewelry that he never used to before; how he’s become so much more quaint around the penthouse, less likely to threaten the crew members; or how Geoff sometimes will overhear Ryan so reverently call his boyfriend ‘dear’ over the phone. And really, he can’t help but let out a snort when he finally reads the page open on Ryan’s laptop: “What to Do When You’re in Your First Relationship Ever.” “Hey, man,” Geoff starts, reaching out to pat Ryan on the back. He offers a toothy smile, and he looks more like a proud dad rather than a criminal in Los Santos in that moment. “Congratulations on the new relationship. The guy’s been real good to you.” Ryan nods eagerly, a smile splitting his own face. “Thanks, boss. He’s been amazing,” he murmurs. “I don’t know how I managed to live all my life without him in it. I like him a lot.” Geoff chuckles. He can’t help but see the familiar look in Ryan’s eyes, and he wonders when Ryan will realize that he loves the guy already. But that’s a matter for a different day – and a topic for a future betting pool – so Geoff shrugs. Shakes his head fondly at this mess of a human still figuring things out in romance. “I can tell, Ryan. Keep him close to you, you hear?” Geoff says. “We don’t always get lucky enough to get what you have in our lifetimes.”

It’s another bank heist. Intended target: Maze Bank. Ryan listens to the chatter over his comm as he preps for his own role in the job. His hands check over his guns with a comfortable ease, and it helps settle down the energy he gets on these missions; ever since the crew, there's a new excitedness that always brews in his chest at heists. He peers over to the other person sitting next to him in the backseat, tattooed arms covered by the symbolic suit that’s left Los Santos in terror again and again. Just before a heist that he’s planned meticulously including all the ways it can go shit because of the crew’s destructive natures, this is his zone. “You ready to make a hell of a lot of money, boys?” Geoff knocks back the rest of his soda with a grin, eyes flickering over at Ryan. “We better get this right since money’s being loaded out tomorrow.” “Are we playing usual rules for robbing them? I saw a few guards I wanna punch in the fuckin’ face before I rob ‘em.” Geoff rolls his eyes. “If they try to stop you, go wild. Just no harm or death to innocent people who aren’t doing anything to you. Don’t forget your job though, Michael!” “I’m not unprofessional! I’m not like Ryan when he sees a good kill.” Ryan rolls his eyes, hand coming up to his comm to finally unmute himself. “I don’t appreciate being insulted like that. You decided to kill a mob of shitty people once ‘stead of heisting, and suddenly you’re unprofessional,” he grumbles. Low and near-threatening, it’s the Vagabond coming out to play, and it earns him a little ‘christ, whatever’ from Michael. “Apology accepted,” he snorts. “Alright, calm down, you can bicker after the heist. We’ve got money to steal, and it’s waiting for us,” Geoff interrupts. He cracks his knuckles, and when his gaze sweeps over the gents in the car with him, he chuckles. “Everyone ready to go?” “I’ve been fuckin’ ready! Jeremy and I rigged the vault, just let us know when to detonate.” “Jack, Ryan?” “We’re literally in the car with you, you can see us being ready,” Jack huffs. She slings an empty bag on her shoulder, and flicks the safety off on her gun. “If anything, you’re the last one we’re waiting on, Geoff.” Ryan nods, agreement bolstered by the click of his guns assembling together again. “Say the words, and we’ll go.” “You guys are the worst crew,” Geoff groans as he slings on his own bag, and he kicks his door open. “Alright, fuckers – let’s heist! ��

The heist goes as predicted – which is to say, unpredictable. Michael is whooping in Ryan’s ear as he leaves a trail of unconscious guards behind him, lying down among debris from the exploded vault at the start. Somewhere alongside him, the sound of skin hitting skin echoes on Jeremy’s side as well as his own rambunctious cheers. Jack and Geoff are just about done packing their bags with the cash after playing with it in the dumbest ways, like making it rain on them. There's bullets ricocheting somewhere below the bank lobby. Hell, Ryan had participated himself, firing off a few rounds into the overly expensive, marble flooring of the place. There’s a few more shots in the wall behind the counters when a teller almost was too brave. After that act, he’s had intimidation on lockdown without trouble. (Though he wonders if they’ll eventually notice that the bullets form a heart shape.) About 90% of it hadn’t been part of the plan – they’re supposed to have been in and out in less than 15 minutes – but the Fakes have never been good at just doing what they need to. What’s the point of being the strongest crew in the city if you don't have fun with it? “Coming up, Vagabond! A guard managed to patch a call to LSPD through, ETA is five minutes!” Ryan scoffs behind his mask, jacket flexing as he moves to get out another gun. It’s not like the LSPD is any good, and worse comes to worst, Ryan can wipe them out easily, as fucked as that sounds. He makes a show of it to the civilians in the lobby, how attuned he is with his weapons and the ease that he wields it. He even earns a whimper from someone when the safety goes off, and the gun is ready to fire with a click! that echoes loudly. Ryan can’t stifle a laugh at that, and he sees how a chill runs through the room. “Fuck yeah, bastards! Guess who’s come out to play!” “Rimmy still is excitable as ever, huh,” Jack says with a snort, sprinting behind the two younger members with a loaded bag on her shoulder. Behind her, Geoff shakes his head fondly with a smirk and a matching full bag. “They’re gonna blow something up later, aren’t they?” “Better something else than us, Geoffrey.” Geoff shrugs to concede that point. He takes up the rear and signals for Ryan to open the door, watching as Michael and Jeremy are the first by a longshot to reach the outside. Ryan’s awareness heightens even more, now that it’s his part of the job to take care of the crew. He doesn’t see anyone moving to stop them, much less expect a guard to disable him or ruin the heist, but it never hurts. Sometimes, people are wiley creatures like that, and the Vagabond isn’t all-powerful. And besides, if it hadn't been for him paying more attention, Ryan would have missed a familiar figure in the bank. Gavin’s giving him an exasperated look for getting him stuck in another bank heist, but Ryan doesn’t miss the splash of red on tanned cheeks. It’s adorable on him, and when it’s just Geoff who hasn’t passed the door, he sneaks a wave over to Gavin. He’s giddy when Gavin returns it. He sneaks glances over at his boyfriend – boyfriend! – with a lovestruck look on his face when he can; it’s exciting when he catches Gavin looking at him like that too. He hopes Gavin can see his expression beneath the mask. And when Geoff had finally left the bank, Ryan notices in time how Gavin is trying to catch his attention. Gavin silently crows in delight as he excitedly kisses his fingertips and blows it towards Ryan’s direction, and automatically, his hand comes up to catch it. Gavin is radiant as he grins in delight at Ryan’s catch. Distantly, Ryan can hear Geoff yelling at him to get a move on, and he will, but God – Ryan has it awfully bad for Gavin.

#rtah #ragehappy #freewood #fanfic #seiju writes

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seitjun · 5 years

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Fluff 13 with freewood pleaseee😊

13.) “Are you flirting with me?” “You finally noticed?”

wc: 3500+ // freewood // college au

extra notes: didn’t mean to write this much, but here we are. i hope you enjoy though, and lemme know of any mistakes! my eyes are aching since i did this in two big sittings oops. pasted under a read more due to length.

“Do any of you guys know a bloke called Ryan? Ryan, er…Haywood?”

Gavin poses the question with a furrowed lilt of his brow, looking almost genuinely worried over his question. He doesn’t catch how the other two lads exchange glances between each other, lifting his head to look at them curiously too late.

“Ryan? Yeah, I know him, he’s a guy in my computer programming class,” Jeremy exclaims with a full mouth, cheeks poking out from his lunch and ignoring Gavin’s disgusted looks. “Super smart and creative dude, I get help from him for my work sometimes. Friendly too, but he kinda keeps to himself? Like, he’s actually serious about college.”

“I mean, if he’s gonna go in debt for college, might as well make the most of it,” Michael reasons with a shrug. He snatches a fry from Jeremy’s plate and makes a face at the sogginess of it. “Besides, why’re you askin’, Gav? You tryna’ make a move or something?” He waggles his eyebrows, nudging Gavin with a smirk.

Gavin scoffs, his cheeks flushing at the thought of it. Sure he’s been out for a while now to the people that mattered, but pursuing a guy had seemed still too much for him; he doesn’t call it an issue because it really isn’t, but Gavin knows he gets hung up on things like these too easily.

“No, Michael, I’m not trying to shag. It’s just…” He trails off with a frustrated look as the words get lost in transit; he doesn’t know how to explain the situation, so he just reaches for something in his pocket and presents a wrinkled paper to his friends.

There’s a section of admittedly smudged and illegible writing, but clearer and more coherent is the bottom of the paper – there, written in blue-penned chicken scratch is the name Ryan Haywood, followed by a series of digits and what seems to be a crude attempt at drawing a heart.

Another brief look is shared between Michael and Jeremy, and a silent conversation occurs; one where Michael smiles victoriously afterwards, and Jeremy slumps over himself with a groan.

“I think…he’s trying to make a move on you, Gav,” Jeremy points out with a sigh, still slumping. He actually looks exasperated after saying that, as if he can’t believe Gavin is dense enough to ignore the signs in the closing. “I mean, the guy’s literally handing you his number. Plus there’s a heart too! I didn’t even get a heart when Michael asked me out.”

Gavin raises a brow. Peering at the note he laid on the table, he can’t really conjure any reasons why Jeremy would think those factors made it seem like flirting. Hearts and numbers are common enough things to hand out, aren’t they? Hell, Gavin signs his own texts with x’s and o’s, no matter who it’s being sent out to, and those seem on a level similar to hearts.

So, he shakes his head, taking the paper back and returning it to his pocket. He makes a note to input the number in his phone, lets himself pray that Ryan’s not a creepy dude. “I don’t think he’s making a move on me. Maybe he just wants a friend? Especially since you said he’s pretty quiet, so maybe he’s lonely too!”

Gavin looks proud of himself of that analysis, especially stubborn too, and the two other lads aren’t ready to handle that whole situation. They just leave Gavin be for now, let him handle whatever happens.

ii.

Gavin learns, after a month of awkward conversations and slightly intimidated meetings, that the number and the guy don’t end up being creepy – at least not seriously, the jokes Ryan makes actually funny – and Gavin is absolutely thankful for it. He’s had his fair share of sketchy guys already, and he wants to move far, far away from them.

“Ryan!” Gavin calls out after his film technology class let out late, sprinting to catch the attention of the older student. He stops clumsily in front of Ryan, almost tripping over his unlaced shoes, but he grins in relief when the other manages to stop him from making a fool of himself. “Thanks for that and waiting up for me! I know you could’ve just headed off to lunch already.”

Ryan just shakes his head, as if what Gavin’s saying is something implausible for him to do. He pockets his phone to focus wholeheartedly on Gavin, casually slinging an arm around his shoulders and starting to head towards the campus lunch halls. “What, and then deal with you whining at me ‘bout leaving you behind? I don’t hate myself enough to do that, Gavin.”

Gavin rolls his eyes. With a slight jab to Ryan’s side, courtesy of his elbow, he revels in the soft wheeze that escapes the other man; serves him right for that comment, honestly, even if it’s more truthful than false. “Hey! I don’t whine, and even if I did, you probably deserved to have me whining to you, you prick,” he huffs, crossing his arms with a pout. His cheeks puff out in indignation.

“Hey, no, don’t pull that face on me!” Ryan laughs through his words as he pulls Gavin closer. Their sides are pressed up together, and it’s enough for Ryan to manage to tuck Gavin’s head against the crook of his neck. “And ‘prick’, huh? No more ‘love’ for me?” His words take on a mocking, British accent on the nicknames.

Gavin shakes his head, but he can’t help tucking himself further against Ryan’s side, almost cozying up to him, even as he gently whacks Ryan’s shoulder. “Oh, sod off! I might as well leave if you’re gonna be a git like that!”

Ryan snorts at the threat, just bringing Gavin in to give him a noogie to the background music of a squawking man. And if they find themselves walking a little closer than most friends do afterwards, one part Gavin’s clinginess and two parts Ryan’s initiation, they don’t say anything about it.

iii.

Considering their interest in video games is definitely more than the average person, it’s almost unbelievable how it takes them another month to finally get each other’s gamertags with all their discussion around it. But maybe it had been a sign the world was telling them to turn back now, do not pass go, do not collect $200, because they’re absolute hell in video games.

“Fuck off, Gavin, Ryan! I’m just trying to fuckin’– agh!” Michael’s enraged voice sounds out loudly through Gavin’s headphones, only mildly blocked out with Gavin’s giggling. “I just wanna get to my car, please.”

Anger melts into defeat easily by his and Ryan’s antics, and Gavin coos softly at Michael, quieter giggles following afterward. “Alright, let’s let Michael get into his car now. Or else, he and Jeremy are gonna mug me even more next time we play,” he concedes. He hears Michael let out a whoop of relieved joy as he gets into his personal vehicle, hears Ryan’s amused chuckling.

“That was fun while it lasted. We should see how long we can get away with doing that to Jeremy next time,” Ryan suggests. He’s already driving off and away from the sight of Michael’s torment, casually as if he isn’t talking about how to torment Jeremy as well.

“You don’t even know Jeremy that well yet, but you’re attacking him already? You’re being a lot more evil than usual, Ry, y’know,” Gavin points out as his game model whips out a gun to point at something random. He laughs bubbly at the twisted model’s arms only for his attention to be taken away by the sight of a cyclist on the highway in front of them. “Oh! Ryan, Ryan, Ryan! Look!”

“H-Huh, what!?” Ryan startles, the car jerking slightly. “What? The cyclist?”

“Yeah, that guy! Run him over, Ry, please?” Gavin pleads with a grin, acting as if he’s not requesting for Ryan to mow down an innocent character. “It’d be so funny, yeah?”

Thing is – Gavin’s not exactly wrong. They find humor in a lot of the same things, and Ryan does like the whole violence and unbidden by law thing of GTAV. Ryan also has an awful habit of indulging Gavin, but that doesn’t need to be said. It’d just be an awful disservice to the game and them both if he didn’t take the opportunity presented to him, wouldn’t it?

Besides, the reward of hearing Gavin’s laughter – the kind where he’s somehow squeaking and wheezing because he’s laughing too hard – and Michael’s quiet ‘Jesus fucking Christ’ more than makes up for the bloodied windshield he has to drive with now.

Ryan doesn’t mention anything about how he takes to running over every motorcyclist he sees now, just to hear Gavin squeal in joy again. How he always does it with a quiet but giddy, ‘Just for you’.

“Whatever Gavin wants, I don’t mind doing it for him,” Ryan shrugs when Michael questions him about it later, and he chuckles at hearing the flustered squeak from Gavin’s end.

iv.

“Thanks for willing to help me out with this, Rye-bread.”

Gavin’s face is graced with a tired, but grateful smile as he throws himself into the seat across Ryan. Tucked away in a corner of the spacious library, the two of them settle as much as they can before they start their impromptu tutoring lesson; pleaded to by a near-wailing Gavin, Ryan finds himself surrounded by familiar mathematical textbooks and not-as-familiar math concepts.

“No worries, you know that I don’t mind helping you out at all,” Ryan smiles kindly. It seems to work, taking off a little of the exhaustion from Gavin’s slumped shoulders. The other man looks older, weary without his usual exuberance; it’s an unsettling sight, and Ryan silently resolves to help Gavin as best he can. “Do you know what you want to work on specifically?”

Gavin hesitates. He scratches at his chin, asking with a sheepish smile, “Is all of the above an answer?” He fiddles with his hands as he flushes red and ducks his head down from Ryan. “Math just…never was my thing. And midterms are coming up, so I need to be good at math for just one day, at least! So, please help?”

Ryan rolls his eyes, flicking Gavin’s forehead. “Calm down, or you might get us kicked out. And I’m already here, so it’d be dumb if I just left right now, didn’t I?”

“I guess…” Gavin shifts awkwardly, almost as if unaware of Ryan’s genuinity. “When I say I’m bad at math, I’m absolutely shite at it. Jeremy and Michael always get frustrated trying to explain stuff to me, even though I know they’re trying not to. I’m just awful dumb at it,” he mumbles. He hazards a glance at Ryan, wondering if he’d leave after that admission.

“Gav…” Ryan sighs. He moves his chair closer to the table, leans forward to bring his face near Gavin’s, noses near touching. “I don’t care if you’re horrible at math as long as you try to learn. I said I’d help, and I’ll try to without getting mad. And don’t talk ‘bout yourself like that. You’re actually not a dumb idiot, even if I call you that a lot, Gav,” Ryan murmurs to him.

Gavin’s eyes widen. He can’t help staring into Ryan’s eyes and the intensity of them, blue shade glinting with a seriousness Gavin only saw when Ryan was coding or performing. It makes his cheeks turn redder for a completely different reason, and it sends his heart thrumming with a giddiness that surprises him.

It wrenches a grin from him, wide and crooked but utterly genuine. He wonders if his eyes are shining brightly, his emotions peeking through at how touched he is by Ryan’s words. “Thanks, Rye,” he whispers softly but as kindly in return.

His arms move on their own automatically, wrapping around Ryan with no hesitation as a token of his appreciation. And Ryan – easily, he returns the hug, but he does curse himself on how close their faces were, how close he was to finally spilling the truth about his intentions to a still clueless Gavin.

“No problem, Gav,” Ryan settles on saying. “There’s no one else I’d be happier to help with than you,” he grins.

Gavin is thrumming with excitement.

He rocks back and forth – heels to his toes – as he waits, a small bouquet he bought just a few hour ago in hand, right by the stage for Ryan to appear. He’s even made Jeremy and Michael wait with him, and he ignores the looks they throw each other around him, far too focused on Ryan.

It’s with a giddy cheer that he squeals out ‘Ryan!’ when he spots him climbing down the stairs to the floor in his outfit still. He launches himself at the older man without a second thought, limbs hooked around him like a koala clinging onto a tree branch for life.

“You were absolutely fantastic, Rye! I didn’t think I’d enjoy a play so much, but you made it easy to be interested. No wonder you got the lead role,” Gavin praises with ease, squeezing Ryan in an imitation of a hug in their odd position. “Oh, and I even got you some flowers! Lil’ J said that’s a nice thing to do after a show, yeah?”

A puff of laughter escapes Ryan as he takes the flowers gingerly, arm tightening around Gavin to return the hug and make sure he doesn’t slip off. His cheeks are warm and red with the adrenaline from performing, the embarrassment from being praised so much by Gavin of all people.

“Jeremy’s right, yes. I appreciate the flowers, Gavin, and I’m glad you liked me being the lead so much. Theatre’s something I love with all my heart,” Ryan explains casually as he shifts Gavin’s weight to hold him up better. “How’d you like the rest of the show? Like, besides me?”

Ryan earns a delighted trill as Gavin throws himself into a rambling commentary about the play. From the set design to the costumes to the story, Gavin compliments kindly and criticizes fairly about everything and everyone. He does his best to spread his comments, but Ryan feels his chest puff in pride when Gavin automatically finds a way to include him with each compliment.

“You know how to blow a guy’s ego up, huh?” Ryan chuckles before squeezing Gavin in another hug. “Glad you liked it though, since I tried to give the best show of our run so far. Just for you, Gav.”

Gavin flushes a pretty shade of pink, and he sticks his tongue out at Ryan, but it’s done with a giggly fondness that he’s absolutely weak for. It takes all of his will to not just pepper Gavin in kisses on the spot as Gavin rambles on about something, looking excited as all hell.

He can listen to Gavin forever, and he knows he must have some dumb, lovestruck expression in his face, because he catches the looks that Gavin’s two friends gift him; a mix of confused but understanding, protective and wary, he can feel their stare boring into him. With it, carrying the weight of the fact that they know. What Ryan knows and what Gavin doesn’t, they’ve been privy all along to this dance happening between them.

It’s unsettling, but he promises them silently that he’s already been working his way to tell Gavin. Soon, he concedes; it’s difficult with how unaware Gavin is, honestly, but he just listens to Gavin ramble earnestly with a wanting heart.

Soon, Ryan tells himself.

+ vi.

“Ryan!”

Reminiscent to their meeting months ago, Gavin sprints to get to Ryan faster and nearly stumbles over his own, two feet. It’s only with an exasperated familiarity with Gavin that Ryan catches the other in time, arms wrapped tightly around a small waist and hands clutching intensely onto broad shoulders. Their faces share almost the same space, noses grazing.

“You need to stop tripping so much, or at least running since you always almost fall afterwards,” Ryan chides with a click of his tongue as he helps Gavin stabilize himself on the ground again. “Who’s going to catch you if I’m not here?” Ryan says it teasingly, and it earns him a gentle sock to the shoulder; flatly, he responds with an ‘ouch’, much to Gavin’s chagrin.

“I’m actually just fine on my feet, Ry! I don’t even run a lot, not for others usually,” Gavin grumbles, toeing the concrete with his foot. A silent ‘just for you’ hangs in the air long enough for Ryan to blush and for Gavin to huff. “C’mon now, I thought we were going to lunch?”

“We are, just slow down! The place isn’t gonna disappear if we take our time walking,” Ryan points out. He earns a groan from Gavin who tugs at his hand to go faster without much success. “Today’s a nice day to walk. The place is gonna be crowded when we get there, and I like it when it’s just us two.”

“You can’t just say stuff like that! People are gonna think we’re dating or something,” Gavin mumbles. His cheek are dusted pink, and Ryan raises a brow at the shyness.

“You say that like I don’t want people to think that. We’d be a pretty damn good couple, don’t you think?”

And that gives Gavin pause, freezing him in his steps, because that’s the boldest thing Ryan’s ever said to him. He knows about the nice stuff that the older man says and does for him, always makes him giddy to be friends with such a kind person, albeit creepy and dangerous at times with his humor.

That statement though – Gavin is reeling.

“Are you flirting with me?”

The question is barely squeezed out of his mouth, surprise laced in the words. Gavin stares up at Ryan and tries to search for any hint of a joke in his eyes, but he’s only rendered speechless when Ryan just snorts and slings an arm around him. He’s in utter disbelief.

“You finally noticed? I’ve been flirting the last few months, but thanks for noticing just now.” He doesn’t sound bitter or annoyed at Gavin’s obliviousness, moreso amused and even proud. “Why’d you think I gave you my number in the first place?”

Gavin splutters, because he can’t believe Michael and Jeremy called out Ryan’s intentions so quickly, all those months ago. “I thought you just wanted a friend! Jeremy said you were pretty quiet, and maybe you were shite at making friends, so I…y’know!”

It sounds so indignant, his reply, that Ryan can’t help but throw his head back with the loudest laugh he’s ever had. His cheeks are painted red from how hard he’s laughing, because of course, he’d get stuck in this sort of situation with the idiot, attractive guy he’s been onion over for months now. Let it be known that Ryan either has the most clueless taste or the most clueless flirting skills; there’s a high chance of it being both.

“I didn’t mind if we stayed just friends, since I do like hanging out with you. But I thought you were attractive, and I’m not dumb enough to pass up at least trying,” Ryan explains through the last dregs of his laughter. He moves his arm from Gavin’s shoulder to around his waist, looping it around and bringing him close in front of him. Chests pressed together, he rests his forehead on Gavin’s own. “Didn’t really plan for this to be how you’d find out, but…if it maybe scores me a date with you?”

Gavin’s heart is in his throat, peering up at Ryan with wide eyes at their proximity, the weight behind the older man’s words. Rejection is a thought in his mind, but it passes quickly when he sees how Ryan’s eyes are glittering with a patient hope, an earnest genuineness in his affection; it makes Gavin’s heart flutter, unused to a look like that aimed at him.

“I…I don’t know?” He answers honestly, licking his suddenly dry lips. He doesn’t want to say yes in fear of lying to Ryan, because he’s not given how he feels towards him much thought, but saying no is too…abrupt. He doesn’t want to close off the opportunity to explore his own feelings.

“It sounds like there’s a ‘but’ there, Gav,” Ryan prods gently, tries not to push, but curiosity is a powerful thing.

Gavin takes a deep breath and figures out his words for a moment. He doesn’t want to mess it up, not right now. “I don’t know how I feel about you exactly, but…I want to explore it, and I want to go on a date with you.”

And when Ryan grins, bright and shining and affectionate – Gavin can’t help but mirror it, excited for what their future holds for them.

#rtah #ragehappy #freewood #seiju writes

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