#saw a mention of 'new' interviews with bill and wayne and was like... what are they communicating from beyond the grave???

[thelatecaptainpierce]

omg the mash special is not only gonna feature new interviews from the still living cast members, and archival interviews of some of the deceased members, but also new interviews from both wayne rogers and bill christopher recorded specifically for this special just a year before they passed away...

#i had no idea it was in the works for so long #saw a mention of 'new' interviews with bill and wayne and was like... what are they communicating from beyond the grave??? #this is so cool though! #i'm only skimming through this article but it sounds like they've gathered some amazing footage #and i love that it's not just focusing on the ones who are still around but seems to be including interviews from EVERYONE #mash

[ellana-ravenwood]

“My fake boyfriend is a billionaire ?!” - Bruce Wayne x Fem!Reader

Synopsis : After a few shitty weeks of everything going wrong, you somehow find yourself faking a relationship with the one and only Bruce Wayne. 

That’s it. I did it. After 3 years posting stories on this platform, I finally succumb to one of the biggest fanfiction cliché of all time haha. The infamous fake boyfriend trope. And I really hope you will like it : 

My masterlist : @ella-ravenwood-archives

__________________________________________________

The Gap Year of Disaster

Today, you were an utter mess, and you couldn’t care less.

You know, this kind of days where you wish you would just have stayed in bed ?

Where everything goes wrong and you just want to hide under your blanket and pretend you don't have any responsibilities ?

Well today…Today was most definitely this kind of day.

It was suppose to be your first day at an exciting new job and you were so psyched about it, that you hadn’t been able to sleep all night. 

You finally fell into a deep slumber during the very early hours of the day, and…

Of course you woke up late ! You didn't have time to take a shower, or to do your make-up nicely or even to brush your hair. But worst of all you didn't have time to get coffee !

When you got out with your bike….it was pouring outside. Ah but of course, because when one thing goes wrong everything has to follow. Everything WILL go wrong. Murphy's law or some stupid things like that !

It's in those moments you wish you had a car ! Because when it rained in Gotham…It felt like Noah was ordered to built another ark !

So, sleep deprived, soaked, in a bad mood and looking like a mess, you managed, by some miracle, to arrive at your job on time.

Only to discover that this wasn’t at all what you were expecting. It was NOT what was promised to you, which was experience in an exciting workplace and a way to make the most of it. 

Instead, it was a desk job where you ran errand for everyone. Amazing. 

This was supposed to be your first try at “real life”, this was why you took that gap year from college. 

“I want to find myself, find who I really am !” You told everyone around you, ignoring those who were negative and telling you you should finish your study first. 

Now, as you were stuck in a tiny cubicle with an endless list of coffee orders you had to get for everyone else, you felt like maybe they were right, and that this wasn’t quite the way you were going to “find yourself”. 

Then again, wasn’t it through hardship that this sort of things unlocked ? Wasn’t it with great determination and knowing how it was to struggle, that you were going to thrive ? That’s what they said in TED talks dedicated to “success”...

So far in your life, things had been rather normal. Not particularly easy, but not hard either. You grew up in a small town in New Jersey, no troubles on the horizon. You then moved to Gotham for college as you had a scholarship for Gotham’s University, and as you were about to start your third year you sort of questioned wether or not this was your path...

One of your favorite professor told you to maybe take a gap year. A few semesters off, to think things through. Taking advantage of it to do some soul searching and try to know what you really wanted and...It sounded wonderful ! 

That’s when you started to have job interviews in many different fields, and it took you three months to finally find something. Three very stressful months of wondering how long you could live off of your measly savings, and wether or not you’d have to move back in with your parents (anything but that !)...Not a very good start to that gap year for sure. 

And when you landed what you thought was going to be a great job, things definitely were looking up ! Ah, but the fact that you were chosen while you had NO experience and such, should’ve been your first warning that this was too good to be true. 

You were trying to stay positive though. Maybe it was only for the first day ? Maybe their coffee person was sick or something ? It’d get more interesting later ? Yes. Yes let’s keep a positive outlook on everything. 

Except right now, as your entire morning was made of you walking up and down the building (the elevator was not working, but of course), to the coffee shop at the corner of the street, and bringing back orders for people, you didn’t feel in the mood to try and stay cheery. 

And the worst in all that ? You didn't even get ONE cup for yourself…This “real life” thing was not starting very well. 

And so here you were, during your lunch break, looking like a mess, bag under your eyes and still wet from the rain (your trips up and down the street for coffee runs not helping drying yourself off), your morale at its lowest..And…

"That'll be 3 dollars and 50 cents for the large latte with triple espresso shot, m'am."

Catastrophe. 

Proof that things could ALWAYS get worst. 

As you were looking through your bag, you couldn't find your wallet !

Did you leave it at home ?! Maybe. 

People at your work gave you the money to buy them coffee (and not a single tips, bunch of cheapskates). And you didn’t notice you were missing that oh so essential part of your daily life...Your credit card. Or any type of money. 

Damn it ! 

“Um, excuse me miss, that’s 3,50 please ?”

“Oh yes yes, um, you know what I just-” 

“Here, miss, you dropped this.” 

As you were about to explain that in fact, you didn’t need coffee (even if when you asked for it you might’ve mentioned it being a question of “life or death”), too embarrass to admit you didn’t have the money to buy it, a...very handsome man handed you a twenty dollars bill. 

You were a hundred percent sure this wasn’t yours. You never carry lose cash like this. A quick look to his kind deep blue eyes, and soft smile, and you realize...

Oh. Great. A total (very handsome) stranger took pity of you. 

You probably looked even worst than you felt. You were about to say this was a mistake, but before you could, he gave the bill to the barista, and left with a last smile to you, taking his own cup of coffee away with him. 

Damn. You didn’t have time to say “thank you”. He vanished as fast as he appeared, disappearing in the crowd of the busy coffee shop. 

“Here’s your change, m’am.” 

“Ah you know what ? Keep it buddy. Thanks for the coffee.” 

“Wow, thanks !” 

You were pretty sure that barista never had such a big tip, and it oddly made you feel better, to make someone else’s day like that. Your grandma did always say that you found true joy from helping others...

Oh, yeah, ok, you just helped someone out, why was the universe so angry at you ?! 

As you turned around and started to leave, almost at the exist of the shop, mood a little better after this nice encounter with a (again, handsome) stranger, and the barista, you see him. 

Him. One of the reason you sort of decided to take a gap year. 

Him. 

Your ex-boyfriend, Eric, who cheated on you with your friend Monica. Needless to say, it wasn’t a good memory. And you hadn’t seen neither him nor her since you left college, especially not since you heard they actually got together. 

Your FRIEND. With your BOYFRIEND. And it went on for a while, before you finally discovered it (that day was as shitty as today...). 

Oh. And of course Eric wasn’t alone. She, was there too. The one you thought was your friend, and who stabbed you in the back like that. Both of them discarding you like a dirty old sock. 

Great. Really. Awesome. This day was going from “bad” to “please kill me.” 

“(Y/N) !” 

He looks surprised to see you, although also a little pleased. And it makes you want to punch him in the face. You don’t care if it’s because he wished things ended another way, they both betrayed your truth and then never even tried to talk to you again afterward. 

You’re not sure you would’ve forgave them, but at least, it would’ve shown they still cared about you in a way. Nobody chooses who they’re going to fall in love with (that, you’d soon discover for yourself). But she was your best friend. And he was with you for over a year. 

She’s a little more awkward than him, and smiles, clearly embarrassed. You always knew she was a bit of a coward, if she wasn’t, she would’ve face you, right ? 

And that’s when it happened. The decision that would forever change your life.

In this great moment filled with despair and awkwardness.

From the corner of your eyes, you saw that nice stranger who paid for your coffee. The handsome one. He didn’t leave the shop, but instead went to seat at a table that was a little further away than the rest of them. 

His eyes were glued to his phone, and you thought : “Well, fuck it, all this can’t get any worst right ?”

You were sort of hoping that, since he had been nice with you once and offered you those twenty dollars without knowing you (although you were very aware it was probably just pity), maybe he could help again ? 

Maybe it was the fatigue, the fact you were getting sadder and sadder, that you had a terrible day, and that you just saw two people you loved and who threw you away like you meant nothing (oh but not before being super fake to you, pretending they WEREN’T cheating behind your back)...maybe it was a combination of all of that, that made you act crazy. 

But here you found yourself, sitting at that stranger’s table, and saying, as he looked up from his phone clearly surprised : 

“How are you guys ? As you can see, I’m great.” 

You don’t dare to look at the handsome stranger, and hope he’ll be too stunned to say anything, and you can make your ex-friend and ex-boyfriend feel embarrass enough they’ll leave quickly. But then Monica says something that makes your heart skip multiple beats : 

“You...You know Bruce Wayne ?!” 

You turn to the man who gracefully paid for your coffee, and your eyes go wide. Fuck. Fuck. FUCK. How did you NOT recognize him ?! Of course. Chiseled face, beautiful blue eyes, a suit that was definitely worth your entire year’s salary, a very charming aura...

Your hazy mind full of “fuck this day” didn’t register that THE Bruce Wayne, was the one who helped you out. How did you miss that ? His face had been plastered everywhere in Gotham for the past year, since he came back to the city, in fact. 

You hear yourself wish with all your might to be struck by lightning this instant, as the two assholes who hurt you so much are looking at you expectantly and are not about to live (of course, they just met celebrity BRUCE WAYNE !! Could someone be as unlucky as you were today ?!)

And that’s when you hear a chuckle, a beautiful deep chuckle, and finally turn to look at Bruce. He smiles at you, and takes your hand, saying : 

“Honey, who are your friends ?” 

Your brain go full “ERROR 404″, not quite able to grasp the fact that THE Bruce Wayne just ran with what you were trying to do. How ? How was this possible ? You initially went to sit with him in the hope that Eric and Monica would see you were totally ok and with a hot date, not quite sure still yet how you ever thought this was a good idea and...

It was turning out alright ?! 

HOW ?! 

“Oh um, I’m..Eric. And this is my gir...This is Monica.” 

What a piece of shit. Not even brave enough to call her his “girlfriend” when he cheated on you with her for months and months. You glare at him, unable to stop this gut reaction. 

And that’s something Bruce caught. 

In fact, as soon as you sat down, avoiding looking at him and nervously looking at those two people, Bruce sort of knew you were in an uncomfortable situation. One that made you take an irrational decision. 

And oh, he didn’t like the look Eric and Monica gave you. Like they felt superior as they caught you in a bad moment. Bruce hated, people who thought they were superior to others... 

And you clearly seemed in distress and in need of help so...He ran with it. 

Bruce had to pretend to be someone he wasn’t enough that it felt natural, to run along with what your hazy mind thought was a good idea. 

“Nice to meet you, are you friends with-” 

Damn it. He realized he didn’t know your name. Quick thinking saved him, and he managed to keep his tone even, as to hide his hesitation : 

“My love ?” 

His hand around yours felt warm and reassuring, and you still couldn’t believe that, not only a total stranger, but THE Bruce Wayne was helping you out like that. Especially after you had such a bad day. 

Him calling you his “love” made your exes feel very awkward, and they shake their head “no”, suddenly pretending they’re very busy and have to meet up with someone. They leave the coffee shop, clearly stunned, whispering things to each others that you knew were probably : “how did she get a guy like him ?!”

You can’t help but glare at them some more...But then your hand feels cold again, and you realize Bruce let go off it. Well. Duh. Of course he would. 

You turn to him, your feature softening, and say : 

“Are you an angel ?” 

Ah yes. Your defense mechanism. “Humor”. 

He chuckles, and says : 

“Well, I’m afraid not. My butler would think this is very funny. But thank you.” 

Awkwardly, you rub your neck, your free hand nervously turning your cup of coffee clockwise in your palm. You don’t really know how to end this, what : “thanks for that” and leave ? 

“Thanks for the coffee. And for um...Saving my ass, just there.” 

He smiles, and wow hello white teeth and charming dimples ?! 

“You’re very welcome. They looked like they were jerks.” 

“Haha oh you have no idea.” 

“Glad I could help.” 

“Thanks again. Really. This means a lot, especially since we don’t know each others. Well, I know you. Everyone in Gotham does haha. And ok I’m going to leave now, my lunch break is almost over and I don’t want to make this even more awkward.” 

You start to rise up, but he holds you back by catching your sleeve, and says : 

“Actually miss…?”

“(Y/L/N). (Y/N) (Y/L/N).”

“Miss (Y/L/N), you are kind of saving my life right now.”

“…I am ?”

A flash blinds you. Not a lightning, a camera flash. You turn, just in time to see a guy hastily hiding a camera and running away. 

“What the...” 

“A paparazzi. Good timing, for once.” 

“Huh ?” 

You wish you had some witty come back, or would just know what to say. But you’re confused. And this has been a really weird day. 

“I am sorry if this will seem forward, or like I helped you wanting something in exchange. But I promise I will make it worth your while if you just sit back down and listen to me for a few minutes.” 

You sit back down. More because you’re unsure your leg can still support you in this moment, than because he asked you to. With a smile he continues : 

“Thank you. So. Let me explain a little, and again, sorry if this is too forward. If you don’t want to help of course, I would understand. I’m about to ask you something rather odd, I guess. And I’ll clear things up with paparazzis. I also promise I did not help you with your “friends”-”

“They’re not my friends.” 

“I figured that much. And I promise I didn’t help you with them and ran with whatever you were trying, just so I could ask you this.” 

“Ask me what ?” 

“Well, you see…it’s arranged marriage season.”

“What ?”

“Every year, every single rich family try to make me marry their single daughters. It’s a very tiring season, but I’ve never been able to avoid it…I thought about having a fake fiancee before but could never find the right person.”

What he says does not register with you. His clear proposal doesn’t hit your brain. And you just stare at him, waiting for him to keep going. But he doesn’t, and by the way he looks at you, you slowly starts to understand where he’s getting at. 

You gasp, now pretty sure this is all a dream (or a nightmare) and say : 

“And I’m the right person ?”

“Well, yes. You seem to be a...“normal” person.”

“…Thanks.”

“In that case it’s good. It’s very good. It means that if I’m dating you, a woman that has nothing to bring me, then it must be true love.”

“Wow, stop with the flatteries already mister Wayne, I can’t handle it…”

Ah, your slight wits are back. Good sign that you’re regaining your senses. Everything that happened in the last ten minutes still feel like a bad dream, but you’re back in reality now. 

“No no no, I didn’t mean it in a demeaning way ! But it’s just, you’re not rich, and you’re not famous or have political ties. You’re just a regular person. So they won’t think I’m trying to trick them, even if I am, do you know what I mean ?”

“Gotcha. My broke ass person cannot bring you any value, so it must be love and not just an arranged thing they can break. Cool.”

There’s a slight silence. And you find it a little fun, to play a little bit with the famous Bruce Wayne. He seemed so confident and cocky on TV, you never thought you’d be able to make him look so guilty. 

“I’m sorry if I offended you.”

He says, clearly meaning it. But you shake your head and smile at him (and oh why does he feel his heart tightening slightly at your smile ?), and reassure him instantly (you feel a little bad, actually, to mess with him while he did just really do a huge favor to you while he had no obligations to) : 

“Haha, just messin’ around with ya Mster Wayne. I’m not bothered by it, it’s the truth. I’m really broke, and I don’t think you could find more “regular” than me right now. So, and because you really did save my ass from an extremely displeasing experience back there. And also because you allowed me to see those assholes’ face of surprise and “how did she manage that ?!”, tell me more about your plan, and let’s see if I can help you back.”

And so Bruce starts to explain to you how, every year, this beginning of Fall is the worst time ever, as it’s a moment where everyone seems to want to marry off their daughter. And of course, Bruce Wayne is a good “party”. 

The plan was fairly simple. You’d fake a relationship with him, so he could avoid all of this, and in exchange...Well. You’d gain a lot in exchange. 

This is how you started to really feel like you had fallen into a “romcom” by accident...You and Bruce, became an actual living trope. 

************

“And then when the “marrying season” is done, you can break it off.”

“I ?”

“Well yes, I can assure you you’ll gain quite a rep if you break up with me haha.”

You raise an eyebrow, unsure you like that sort-of overly confident side of him. But you can see something behind his eyes, like a slight unsureness as he looks back at you, trying to see if you’ll agree or not.

“I don’t really need a “reputation”.”

Breaking up with THE Bruce Wayne himself. For sure people would talk about it a lot, and maybe it would help open some doors for you ? But you felt a little odd taking advantage of this like that. 

Seeing that he hadn’t convinced you quite yet, he adds : 

“Of course, I will pay you.” 

What kind of Pretty Woman sort of nonsense was this ?! You were about to protest when he added, realizing how he sounded : 

“I mean, you ARE doing me a great service. You ARE going to have to act, you know ? An...actual job ? And I will be honest with you, it won’t be easy, to find yourself in the public eye. I think it definitely justify a salary.” 

Put that way, you had to admit that, well, yeah it sort of did. Especially since you knew how crazy tabloids were about Bruce Wayne. Becoming his “girlfriend” would definitely put you on the front lines. 

“And it would truly help me tremendously.” 

Your grandma always said it : “True joy comes out from helping others !” So. What if you benefit from it a little ? If it helps you financially, and you can get a little network out of it ? First rule of Alchemy (what a weeb) : “equivalent exchange” ! Plus, he did really help you with your coffee, but also with Eric and Monica so...

And hey, this gap year was meant to help you find what and who you wanted to be. Help you go through this little twenty-something crisis. And this ? Living a literal romantic comedy cliche by faking being someone’s girlfriend ? Well, it definitely felt like the kind of adventure that could help you figure things out.  

With a smile, you finally nod and shake his hand, not knowing quite yet in which mess you actually put yourself into...

Briefing. 

Like every “secret mission”, this one too needed a “briefing”. 

A little meeting to put all the rules down, and the goals too. 

And here you were, feeling very out of place in a huge conference room in the biggest and tallest building in Gotham : “Wayne Tower”.  

The concierge stared at you for a very long time, when you said you were there to see Mister Wayne. No “nobody” like you ever called for his boss. 

Suspicious, as it was his job, he called security on you...Until it was finally cleared up that you DID have a meeting with Bruce Wayne ! 

Both the concierge, and the security guys, stared at you as you left to take the elevators they indicated to you, wondering who the hell had the kind of credentials to go all the way up there to see their boss ?! They didn’t recognize you from anywhere, not a model, not a famous politician or CEO, just...A regular person ? 

That was odd. And they noticed, it was odd. Which you assumed was what Bruce was aiming for, but it felt so awkward, to walk through this huge hall under their scrutiny. 

You finally arrived on the right floor, and oh look, some more staring. 

From his secretary, this time. She was used to see women coming to see her boss. But they’d usually wear Prada, and have plunging necklines full of pearls and fanciness. They weren’t...like you. 

You felt like it was easy, to know that you were just a “normal” person. You were definitely not wearing any designer clothes, and you were pretty sure the way you carried yourself made you super obvious. 

Hence all the staring. You could clearly see in her eyes, that she was wondering who the hell you were... 

She had her answer when Bruce came out of his office, and made a gesture as if he was going to throw his arm around your waist, and kiss you (which made you downright panic). But then, he looked awkwardly at his secretary, and instead just shook your hand. 

Something that DID NOT go unnoticed by his secretary. 

You saw how her eyes widen, and how she clearly hitched to take her phone out and call everyone...and you realized Bruce did this awkward thing because he knew his secretary, and her tendency to be a little gossipy. 

You’d discover later, in fact, that he hired her entirely because he knew if he said something, she would pick up on it and it would help him control rumors and such. Clever. 

For the moment though, he took you to a large conference room with huge windows. 

“I’m sorry for the weird “hello” back there, I wanted Shirley to think I was embarrassed to display affection to you in front of her. Usually, I do not mind at all. So doing it would make her think that-”

“I’m someone special to you.” 

“Exactly !” 

He smiles widely as you understood his plan (not sure how you felt about it, then again, that’s why you were here for, making sure you knew where both of you stood in all this), and then tells you he’ll be back in a few minutes. 

You have time to feel anxious and stressed before he finally comes back. 

“Sorry for the wait.” 

“Oh no, I bet you’re a busy man.” 

“Yes well. Anyway. Let’s get to it shall we ?” 

“Yes.” 

“Ok. So. I thought we’d settle sort of a little contract, so neither of us ever feel uncomfortable ?” 

“Sounds good, mister Wayne.” 

“Yes well first, please call me Bruce.” 

“Only if you call me (Y/N).” 

Oh and you two were still on the path of “romcom cliches”, with this conversation. He smiles, nods, and continues : 

“Ok, then I thought we could-” 

And so your fake relationship started, with some little ground rules. Like he could only kiss you after you gave him permission, if you ever felt overwhelmed everything would be called off, etc etc. 

Most rules were in your favor, to be honest. And WOW the paycheck he was going to give you for this little farce...Hey, maybe this gap year was finally gonna get interesting ?

Meeting the Little Buddy. 

It was sort of necessary. By then, Dick had been his son, officially, for a few months. He wasn’t calling him “dad” yet (and Bruce didn’t particularly want him to, at the time...ah but everything change one day, right ?), but they were already family. 

And it was a needed step. 

It wasn’t in the little “contract” you made, and honestly you could’ve refused to meet him but...Well, you liked kids. In another life, it felt like you could’ve been a teacher (A/N : AH, like in this story ;) : “Can you be my dad’s girlfriend, please ?” ). 

And you’d feel awkward, to fake a relationship and not ever meet his boy. 

The first time he saw you, it was at the Wayne Tower, and his eyes widened as he exclaimed : 

“Wow you’re so pretty ! Are you Bruce’s girlfriend ? You’re too good for him, you know.” 

You could feel your heart melt, how adorable this little guy was, right ? You chuckled, and almost full on laughed as you saw how vexed Bruce was by the comment. 

Not that he thought he was too good for you, no, he was just a little unhappy his son was stealing the show, and thought he couldn’t land someone like you...Oh but that, you couldn’t guess at the time, of course. 

“Nice to meet you, Dick. I’m (Y/N). And...I’m not really his girlfriend.” 

“Can you be mine then ?” 

You laugh again. You and Bruce had decided to tell him the truth, Bruce assuring you that kid was good at pretending too. You answer : 

“No, I’m saving him from marriage proposal.” 

“Oooooh !” 

Good at pretending. Dick had no idea what you were on about, but he was very good at acting as if he knew. 

It’s only way later, that he finally got it. By then, he already accepted you as : “his dad’s girlfriend”, and even knowing the truth, there was no way to change his mind. And to be honest, out of everyone, little Dick Grayson was probably the most aware of what the situation truly was. 

He had a knack, to notice how people felt. 

A “family” outing.

Two months in, and it was going GREAT. Faking a relationship was actually pretty easy. All you had to do was hanging out with him (and he was very nice to hang out with), and when a paparazzi was around, quickly kiss his cheek, or hold his hand, or let him put his hand in your hair...All those cute things new couples do. 

Today was one such small date. 

You could see Bruce was nervous, though.

After hanging around with him that many times, you started to know him a little better. Started to know he wasn’t really that persona he portrayed publicly.

He was actually quite a dork. What a pity, nobody else would ever know his real self...Yet, it made you happy you were one of the few in on the secret.

“Ok, out with it mister, what’s up ?”

He looks at you with such surprise in his eyes, as if it was the first time someone guessed what he was feeling...and, well, yes. It was. It was the first time someone who wasn’t Alfred got it. Someone realized something was on his mind. And asked him about it, didn't just ignore and move on. Actually cared to know. 

“I-Um...”

“Well ? Come on, I think literally nothing can surprise me by now, given you know, I’m faking a relationship with a billionaire, and it’s like, my job now.”

He smiles, and he couldn't possibly know how soft his look was, as he gazed at you.

“I...well, people don’t quite believe in us because-”

“WHAT ?! With all the “dates” and kisses and lovey dovey shit we did ?!”

He chuckles at your reaction, loving how honest you always were, and adds :

“The problem apparently is that you weren’t seen with my son yet, so many don’t believe we’re serious.”

“Oh...”

You met Dick. Because it felt like a necessary step to yours and Bruce’s scheme. And you knew he knew this was all fake...But neither of you wanted to confuse the boy in any way so he was kept mostly out of the plan.

“I talked to him, and it’s actually really up to wether you’re comfortable with it or not. I know he wasn’t part of our contract, and I should’ve probably thought about it, I’m sorry. But um...If you’re ok with it, we could..Do things with him, too ?”

Bruce is really nervous; And you’re pretty sure no one but you (and maybe Alfred) ever saw him like that. It’s kind of...sweet. But you let the silence linger for too long and he hurries to say :

“You really don’t have to ! It’s ok if they don’t think we’re that serious and I get some proposals. I can manage ! You’re still a great help right now. It was just an idea. Dick is a very social kid, he would go along with anything and loves to do activities outside. He would be fine. But if you’re not then we can-”

“No. No no it’s...It’s ok Bruce. The few time I saw him, Dick did seem absolutely a peach to be around. And I always have fun with you, so sure, let’s organize a little something and show those bastards we’re totally real.”

You chuckle a little, your smile and carefree face making his heart skip a beat, for some reasons...Bruce also decided to ignore how happy it made him, to know you were always glad to be with him, and instead, he smiled and settled a date.

************

And here you were. In one of Gotham’s biggest park, opening a basket full of delicious sandwiches made by the one and only Alfred. Pretending to have a great family outing.

“Hey, hey look !”

Dick was absolutely amazing, at acting as if you were really a thing. As if you were really a “family”. Right now, he was doing flips and cartwheels, demanding your attention with avidity.

Bruce made sure to always hide his face from pictures (he was GREAT at noticing where paparazzis were hiding, a life of practice, you assumed), as he wanted to keep as much as he could his son’s privacy (especially after he made all the headlines when he lost his parents).

It was quite adorable. And...You were really having fun.

Dick was such a lively kid, and he was full of talents. The food was good, and it was so comfortable around Bruce. It felt so natural.

This wasn't all that bad. To fake being a family. A good use of your gap year, really. 

You purposefully decided to ignore the glint in the boy’s eyes. The way you sort of suspected for him, this was getting real, and not only pretend.

You and Bruce purposefully ignored it, actually. And you both felt shitty for it. Because not only were you risking to break that little boy’s heart when it was all over but...It was too hard to accept that maybe, maybe he was right.

And that all of this ? Might’ve not been as fake as you’d love to repeat yourself.

First Official outing. 

First gala. You were terrified. So far all you had to do was hang out with Bruce in the afternoon, there and there. It mainly consisted in him buying you coffee, and keeping the addiction to caffeine real, while talking about anything that would come to your mind. The conversations between you two was always fluid and pleasant. 

Or you’d go out with him and Dick, to do some fun things like mini-golf or catching a movie. Nothing too big and scary. It was mainly just you guys, no one else. 

It seemed like he knew where the paparazzis would be (most likely because he was “anonymously” tipping them off himself), and he’d take you on random short dates when he had time in between his work, slowly fueling the rumors Bruce was not a heart to steal anymore. 

And that he was dating a “commoner” ! (He hated this name for you, while you really didn’t mind that much). 

And this gala, was what made it completely official. Finally. It was your idea, to take things “slow”, and hang out with him and his son BEFORE hanging out in public areas like this. 

It was clever, really. To make it seems like you were trying to “hide” your relationship by being low-key, to then finally announce everything in public like that, at such an event. 

Bruce went to get a drink for the both of you, and you were looking around you, horrified at the mere idea that someone would come talk to you. 

But for some reasons, nobody seemed to dare. Maybe Bruce made sure that people would leave you alone ? Even as if you were clearly the talk of the evening, all eyes on you, and not even trying to be subtle ? 

You knew he did the same with little Dickie. That he made sure he was safe from the paparazzi and that no unsolicited journalist would come around him.

Thinking of it, where was the little one ? Usually, according to Bruce, whenever there was a gala he would spend his entire time near the food table, eating as much as he could, and he would come home feeling nauseous because of it...Haha sounded like Dick alright. That kid was so-

Oh oh.

Who was that sleazy looking gal talking to him ? He seemed so uncomfortable, yet too polite to brush her off...Oh no, she wasn’t one of them, was she ?

Without thinking twice about it, wether it was your place to do what you were about to do or not, you resolutely walked towards them.

“-Think it’s because he relates to you ? As both of you lost your parents in horrific situations, you know ?”

“I-I don’t know m’am.”

When you saw Dick’s distressed face, and his eyes slowly filling with tears, there was no doubt in your mind.

This woman was not supposed to be there, and was definitely not supposed to talk to that child...

This woman was a - shiver of disgust- tabloid journalist.

Your blood boiled as you saw her take a picture of the teary eyed Dickie, and you were standing protectively in front of him before you could even think about it. When you felt the boy clutch to your sleeve, hiding behind you and holding on for dear life, you knew you wouldn’t regret it.

“Can I ask you why you’re talking to that boy, please ?”

“What, it’s illegal to talk to fellow guests now ?”

“Lady, you’re well in your thirties. He’s eight. You have no right talking to him. Not only is it weird, but I know what you’re doing.”

“Oh, and pray tell, what am I doing, lovey ?” 

“You’re trying to get a story out of him. And you should be ashamed of yourself. He’s eight ! And from what I heard, you were asking some very disgusting things back there !” 

“I-”

“Shut up.”

Your words came out harsh and determined, and the woman was so shocked she stayed silent for a while. You crouch down to Dick’s level, and ask : 

“Are you ok, my little buddy ?” 

He nods weakly, and then burst into tears as he launches himself in your arms, clinging to you tightly. You turn your head towards the woman, glaring at her so fiercely she doesn’t dare to take a picture of the scene, even as she knows she could sell them for a golden price. 

“You should be ashamed of yourself. He’s just a child !” 

The woman was about to say something else, something you knew would fuel your anger further, when Bruce arrived, and it was clear from his face that he was not happy. 

A quick look to you holding his crying son in your arms, and to the lady with the camera in her hands, and he understand what happened. With a cold voice you never heard him use before, he says : 

“I suggest you leave the area now, before I force you to.” 

There was something almost scary, in his demeanor. Almost like...No. Impossible. In any case, you didn’t worry about it much, drawing soothing circles with your hand on Dick’s back, trying to calm him. 

People around quickly stopped staring as they met Bruce’s assassin glare. It was not secret, that he was very protective of his son. And of his new girlfriend, apparently. 

You picked the little boy in your arms (Dick, at the time, was still so tiny), and Bruce comes closer, trying to soothe him too. And it really looked like all this was real...

Dick fell asleep in Bruce’s arms shortly after that, and was still there when it was time for the gala official pictures. Not wanting to wake him up, for once, Bruce allowed people to photograph the boy, as long as they did not frame his face. 

He laid his free hand on the small of your back, and just like you got used to those past months, you pretend to be head over heels for him and have one of your own arm around his waist.  

“Would you please allow me to kiss you on the cheek, for the cameras ?”

His question is so sweet, softly whispered in your ears. And you felt like a tease tonight, and maybe a little tipsy too. You tell him : 

“On the cheek only ? Let’s give them a show no ? Let them forget about what happened with Dick.”

Of course, you’re only joking, but there’s a light in Bruce’s eyes you haven’t seen before and...It disappears quickly. He chuckles, of that low chuckles that would charm anyone in the world, and says :

“I don’t want to force you to do anything you wouldn’t want to. Actually kissing me, I realize, might be too much.”

You know he caught on your joke, but you can’t brush off that light in his eyes that ignited when you suggested to kiss him...You don’t know why, and it feels you’re not controlling your own words, as you hear yourself say :

“Oh because kissing you would be such a horrible thing wouldn’t it ? Oh my, you’re only one of the handsomest man in Gotham, a rather attractive fella, how could I handle kissing you ? So disgusting !”

Your tone is teasing, and a little bit challenging. He catches on that, too. He answers : 

“But I am merely here to serve. I will do as you wish. You only have to say the words.” 

His smile fills your vision. His face. And the way he softly holds your waist, even as his other arms is carrying his son (the man was BUILT). And you think...Well, fuck it ! It was time for the first (fake) kiss, right ? 

Right here, in front of the cameras, where everyone was seeing you. Making it go full circle. Making it “official”. 

“Kiss me then, if you dare.” 

You simply say. Releasing a breath you were unaware you were keeping in. And he feels his heart squeeze, and as if he’s sweating a bit. When was the last time he was nervous about kissing a woman ? 

He couldn’t remember. 

And then he kisses you, the flashes of cameras slowly fading away as his lips melt onto yours. 

Wow. What a perfect, and nice, first kiss. 

As fake as it might be.

Your room. 

Your room at Wayne Manor was bigger than your entire apartment. 

You and Bruce decided that sometimes, so you wouldn’t raise any suspicion, you’d sleep at the Manor. Paparazzi were so on top of everything, it would seem weird if he was in a “committed relationship” and you never slept at his place. 

So Alfred settled a room for you. 

Oh. Alfred ! You met him not long ago, and he was the best ! 

It felt like he could magically guess what you wanted when you wanted it, and magically appeared with that warm cup of tea you craved, or that meal you’ve been thinking about all day. 

But beyond that, he was genuinely nice and made sure to make you as comfortable as possible. He showed you around, and his conversation was so pleasant ! 

You could actually see a lot of Bruce in him. Or, rather, it was evident that Alfred had raised Bruce most of his life, because they had a lot of similar mannerism, and were both kind and caring (Ah, imagine if Superman knew what you thought of Bruce, how crazy it’d sound to him eh ? But of course, that you’d discover way WAY later). 

You never went to explore much when it was time to go to bed, too afraid to get lost. This place was huge, and you never quite had a good sense of orientation. 

One could only wonder, what would you have discovered if you ever dared to wake up during the night, and explore his home ?

Build a Bear. 

Sometimes, Bruce really had to wrack his brain for original date ideas. Ever since he came back to Gotham, his dating days consist of pretending to sleep with every model in the World. 

He’d take them to fashion shows, to galas, to charity events...All very public places, unsuitable for a “serious” relationship like he was hoping to make yours and his pass for. 

Enter : Clever little Dickiebird, who always had an idea (and who might’ve been the best wingman someone like the Batman needed...that, of course, he’d discover it way, WAY later) :

“You can take her to a build a bear !” 

“Build...a bear ?” 

“Yeah, you know. You go and you make your own teddy bear !” 

“I do know, I took you to get Chester - the name of Dick’s favorite plushie toy now, and maybe with which he slept-. But...For a date ?” 

“What ? It’s cute and intimate !” 

“Huh ?” 

It has been a long time, since Alfred Pennyworth had to hold his laughter in that hard, and try to stay impeccably neutral. And there, faced with his master Bruce, who was known as the “ultimate womanizer”, the “perfect playboy”, and who was currently taking advice from his eight years old son...It was really hard to keep a straight face. 

It was also incredibly adorable. Especially how Bruce seemed to genuinely listen to the little one, unaware that he seemed actually way too interested for things just to be for his “fake relationship” to be more convincing. 

Not that Alfred was going to tell Bruce anything. 

“Dick, you know (Y/N) isn’t really my girlfriend, right ?” 

The way the boy talked about taking you to a date, felt to Bruce like he was forgetting this was all fake. And it was important to remind him.

But Dick had to invoke all the efforts in the world to not roll his eyes as to say : “sure she isn’t”, by now, it was oh so obvious to everyone but you and Bruce that there was a very real thing forming between you two. 

Instead, he said : 

“But you’re suppose to make the public really believe it right ? If you take her to build a bear, I can assure you they will think you guys are the real deal.” 

Bruce pondered this for a little bit, and realized that his son was right. It did seem like a cute and intimate date to bring your girl to, even if she was your fake girl...

Ah. Bruce forgot his own words. “Dick is great at pretending.” He is. He really is. Just like right now, he was pretending his idea was completely innocent, while he knew it would bring you two ever so closer. 

That whenever you’d see those bears you were going to build in your home, you’d think of one another. And remember fondly of the memory. 

And oh. Oh that boy was right. 

Your bear was sitting proudly on your couch, and every time you saw it, you remembered how clumsy Bruce had been, filling his own bear up. And how cute he was, carefully thinking of his options. 

And every time Bruce saw his own bear, that Alfred, for some reason, settled in the Batcave on the “trophy shelves” (and for some reason Bruce didn’t take it off of it...), he couldn’t help but think how he had genuine fun that day. 

Genuine fun, for the first time in what felt like ages. And how your smiling and giggling face didn’t seem to leave his mind, whenever he saw that bear...

Conniving traitors. 

“We both agree, he’s in love with her right ? He’s just too dense to realize it.” 

“Oh yes, young Master Richard, he definitely is. And he is dense, at times.” 

“Should we do anything ?”

“No more than what you’re already doing.” 

“Which is ?” 

“Which is continuing to push them in the...Right direction.”

“Oh ! I get it ! I’ll keep going Al’!” 

“And I’m sure you’ll make miracles, young master.” 

Dick’s smile to the old butler was so pure and happy, that Alfred had a hard time keeping his composure once again. 

And oh. Oh how he wish they were right, and that his Master Bruce would FINALLY allow himself to be happy... 

Rumors and Truth 

Bruce was just a tiny bit older than you. 24, according to his wikipedia page. 

And you couldn't help but be a little jealous, as you were looking at the page to re-enroll yourself in Gotham’s university, knowing he was done with college.

Then again, he was obviously a genius and would’ve been done faster than you anyway, even if you were the same age, since he finished his PhD just the year before, while most people don't even START their doctorate until they're around 23/24. 

Mmmm. Made you think. Was this just yet another rumors about the man ? 

Maybe not, after all it was proven he started college at age 14, and in Ivy Leagues ones, all across the world. 

From Cambridge, to Oxford, without forgetting La Sorbonne (A/N : by the way, this is canon haha, Bruce really did start college that early and went to many different places, and honestly, is anyone surprised ?). 

This wasn't really something you absolutely couldn't believe, compared to other crazy rumors about him. And you knew he WAS smart. 

By then, you couldn't count how many things were circulating about him, and how hard it was to know the truth from just plain old rumors. 

He had over a thousand lovers, he had MORE than one PhD (impossible, right ?), he had died once but survived somehow, he was part of a cult, he often lost his status as a billionaire because he gave so much money to charities and such, but his companies meddled in so many areas that his bank account was always filled more and more…

Honestly that last part didn't really surprise you. You saw him gave his money away to things he cared about (like education and medical care) without a second thoughts, so the fact he constantly oscillated between "billionaire" and "multi-millionaire" didn't really surprise you, not when you knew him like you did now. 

You totally trusted the rumors that said that by now, he gave away more than he currently owned. It sounded like him alright…But how to know the truth from the downright crazy ? Did he really have a PhD or was this just an addition to how special and different Bruce Wayne was in Gotham ? What kind of PhD did he have anyway ? 1000 lovers, really ?!

So many questions. And not a lot of answers. Even if you grew closer (as friends, of course), Bruce was still somewhat of a mystery to you. 

He never really tried to dismiss rumors, even the bad ones (unless they touched his son). Which made you wonder if they were true or not. And you really, really, for some reasons, wanted to know more about him...

“Is something the matter ?” 

He asks. Oh goddamn you, day dreaming on one of your regular “coffee date”. 

You shake your head, sipping on your drink and say : 

“Was just thinking about...Tabloids.” 

“Ah.” 

He frowns. For understandable reasons.

“I was just thinking about wether some rumors were true or not.” 

“What do you think is not true ?” 

“I don’t really know, and you never really say a rumor is false so it’s hard to know.” 

“Do you want to know anything in particular ?” 

Bruce knows it’s dangerous, to let you enter his private life like that. There’s a reason, after all, why he never dismisses any rumors. 

It helped build his fake persona, and take away any suspicions that he might be the infamous Batman. 

But he felt weak, around you. As if he just wanted to please you, no matter what. Sometimes, he felt dangerously close to just tell you : “ask me anything and I’ll tell you the truth”, even if it meant revealing his night activities...

Crazy, right ? 

He knew it was. And that he shouldn’t let it happen. Yet here he was, asking if you wanted to know something. Craving your attention. It felt so unlike him. But...You seemed to unlock a certain part of him. 

The one that didn’t die with his parents, and remained hidden. The one that was the old little Bruce, full of hope, honesty and happiness. Full of wish for the future...Even if he knew there was none. 

“How was college, for you ?” 

You hear yourself asking, really wondering if it was true he was 14 when he started, and if it was...How different you guys were, right ? You were 21 right now, and taking a gap year after two years of college...When he was your age, he had already finished a master (or even maybe two). 

"My college years were actually pretty boring, and unlike some rumors say, weren't particularly wild. I was really young."

"Ah, I heard the rumors."

"Those are true, I'm afraid haha."

"Afraid ? You're a genius !"

Which is why you found, more and more, his "himbo" persona to be odd. WHat was Bruce Wayne trying to hide ? Mmm…

Bruce recognized that look in your eyes. The look of someone who was onto something, and it was too frightening to let it happen. So he said :

"Yes well, I feel I missed a lot, during those years. Which is why I make it up now hahaha !"

His boisterous laughter seemed genuine, and totally fooled you. You couldn't always be on top of everything eh ? And this, did answer your question about his himbo persona…Oh, Bruce was good.

And he knew it. He trained for years, to make sure nobody would ever even suspect him to be Batman.

But he had to be careful with you. He knew it. It was obvious. You weren't that easy to fool…

The Day Batman saved you. 

The fact he had to be careful with you was confirmed not long after. When, as Batman, he came to your rescue.

He should’ve known, that even with a voice changer, and a mask covering most his face, plus a demeanor that was completely different from his usual one, you’d still get suspicious...He should’ve known because he, by then, knew you quite well. 

But, what ? Was he suppose to just let you get mugged ? 

He couldn’t. 

Even if in the grand scheme of things, it would’ve been better, and he would definitely intervene if it got too rough...He couldn’t. 

He couldn’t bear the thought of you getting hurt, or feeling distressed.

He knew this was stupid. That he shouldn’t get so attached. That muggings weren’t really his area of expertise, that to stop them, he had to hit the big bosses. He knew. Small thugs weren’t his target. He had a much bigger vision. And rationally, he should be somewhere else right now. 

Yet he couldn’t resolve himself to. Because, and that was a dangerous thought and feeling, he was in l- 

“Why are we spying on your girlfriend ?” 

Dick’s voice takes him out of his reveries, good. It WAS getting dangerous. Still keeping you in his field of vision (you were slowly going back to your apartment, a few minutes still, and he could leave to do other things knowing you were safe and sound in your home), he answered :  

“We’re not spying on her, we’re making sure she’s safe. And she’s not my girlfriend, you know that.” 

“Oh yeah ? We’ve been following your “totally not girlfriend” since the night started, awfully looks to me like we’re um, you know, stalking her.”

“We’re not.” 

“Suuuuuuuuuure.” 

Bruce gives an annoyed look to his son, who had way too big a smug face right now, and says : 

“The night is calm, if something comes up we’ll go. But right now, it’s alright. And it has been made official, that she and I are a couple.” 

“Fake couple.” 

“Fake one to us, not to the public eye.” 

“Ooooooh !” 

Connections were quickly made in the boy’s head, and he understood why they were following her. After all, this was Gotham. And if THE Bruce Wayne had ONE known lover...Well, it was easy to know it’d attract some nasty business. 

Dick was about to make a smug remark of which he had a talent for, when it happened. He pointed at you, fear in his eyes, and Bruce focused your way again. 

“Stay here.” 

“What why ?! I wanna help her too !” 

“Because she’s too smart not to put two and two if she sees you with me. She knows us in our day lives. She’ll recognize us for sure, if we’re together.”

“Oh...”

“Just stay still, ok ?” 

“Ok.” 

Without a second thought, Bruce jumped down in the street down below, under Dick’s worried eyes. If anything happened to you, he knew his dad would never be the same again. 

And he knew he couldn’t bear to lose yet another person he cared about. Even loved. Yes. Yes Dick loved you, as if you really were part of his family...

The months of “faking” family outings made it so. Your worst fear happened. Dick was getting attached, hardcore. And he really hoped you and Bruce would figure out you were actually in love with each others before the end of your “contract”, and before his sometimes very dense dad would decide to let you go...

For now though, he was anxiously looking at Bruce making his way to you, after he spotted a suspicious group of men genuinely stalking you. 

************

“Hey pretty girl, can we talk ?” 

You stop in your track, turning around, cursing yourself for not having the instinct to just take off running. Oh. But you can see at least one of them has a gun. You can’t run faster than a bullet... 

“Ah it is you, isn’t it ?” 

You don’t answer, knowing what they mean. Bruce sort of warned you against this. But you didn't take his warnings seriously, and here you were, going home at night, something he definitely told you not to do. 

You just couldn’t sleep that night, and needed a walk...And here you were. 

“You’re gonna come nicely with us, right ?” 

“I dont’ think so.” 

Uh ? You’re pretty sure that weird robotic voice wasn’t yours. Even if that’s exactly what you wanted to say. And that’s...oh wow. 

That’s when you see him. Batman. 

Immediately, the atmosphere grow even tenser. And you can see the thugs who wanted to take you with them fearfully looking at him. 

“This has nothing to do with you Batman, leave us alone, we didn’t do anything wrong !” 

“It has everything to do with me. Leave.” 

“We have to-You don’t understand. We have to take her to-” 

“Nowhere. Leave.” 

Even if he was protecting you, you had to admit that, that dude was frightening. He had his back to you, and even then, he looked so intimidating and tall and broad...

Bruce was tall and broad too. But he was soft and sweet, not scary at all.

“OH MY GOD LOOK OUT !!” 

One of the thug had a gun pointed at Batman. Right at his head. He didn’t have the time to enforce his helmet yet, and if he shot around his mouth, he was done for...

A rock coming out of nowhere hit the thug right in the face. 

Coming out of nowhere ? To you, maybe. But Bruce knew that this was little Dickie’s doing. “Robin always has Batman’s back”, he said often...

For the time being, the one taking his gun out being knocked out triggered a “fight or flight” reaction in the others, and as two took off running (and were mysteriously hit by rocks too, knocking them out), three decided to attack Batman. 

Bad move. 

Very bad move. 

In a matter of second, it was over. 

He turns to you, and it’s hard to discern any emotions with his lighted eyes and mask. He asks : 

“Are you alright, (Y/N) ?” 

“How-How do you know my name ?”

“Well, you’re Bruce Wayne’s girlfriend, right ?” 

There was no hesitation in Bruce’s voice as, as soon as he pronounced your name, he knew he messed up...but he trained himself to think quickly. And this “fake” relationship was a perfect excuse, of course. Everyone in Gotham knew about you two, by now. 

“Oh, right, ok.” 

You seemed a bit disappointed, and Bruce couldn’t quite understand why...

It only hits him later, as he was going to bed, why you looked like that. And it made hi heart beat widely. Because he was pretty sure that it was because you sort of hoped Bruce talked to “Batman about you...Oh...Oh this was getting dangerous. 

But of course, Bruce had a reputation to be the one funding Batman’s gadget (a really good cover for the fact he was actually Batman). So they’d know each others...

But right there and then, as he just saved you, you felt so stupid, hoping that Bruce would’ve talked to you to Batman. Why would he ? How the hell would your name even show up in a conversation between Bruce Wayne and Batman (but oh, if you knew you occupied his thoughts many times, and who he really was, maybe you’d feel less bad ? It was, in a way, Bruce talking about you to Batman, right ?). 

You smiled weakly and shyly at this impressive being in front of you, and thanked him one more time. He nods, smiling too (oh ?), and bid you farewell. 

Ah. But Bruce didn’t notice your eyes go wide, as he took off with his grappling hook, and you caught the side of his face in a certain light...

Fake ?

"You know, he smiles more when you’re around.” 

Dick tells you once, you look at him curiously, as he continues : 

“And before you say it’s “all pretend”, let me tell you there’s a difference between this smile and the fake one. Look, that’s how he pretend.” 

On that note, he looked at you and smiled widely, exaggeratedly, but his smile didn’t reach his eyes. And it was so like how Bruce portrayed himself in public, that it made you chuckle. 

It also scared you a little. 

Not because there was a possibility Bruce did smile more around you, but because as that little boy was being silly, and now imitating his adopted father further and oh so perfectly...You felt a surge of love for him. 

And that wasn’t good. 

Because the day, which was coming soon now, you’d have to “dump” Bruce Wayne, you wouldn’t be able to see that little one again...why would you ? 

It’d be too weird, right ? Someone like you, once “broken up”, would have no reasons or ways to ever interact with billionaire Bruce Wayne or his son ever again. 

That little boy was the sweetest child you ever met. He suffered a great loss so early in his life, and there he was, making you laugh and being nice by saying you made his dad genuinely smile. 

It hurt, to know that one day, you wouldn’t see him again. That he’d grow up, and you wouldn’t know what he became. 

You were sure he was destined to become a great man, and you wished you could see it...No. No this was bad. This was so bad. 

“I mean it you know.” 

His little voice brings your attention back to him. 

“I think you make him happy. With you, it feels he can be himself. He laughs more, really laughs. And it’s often that he tells me “oh this makes me think of (Y/N)” and calls you. He doesn’t need to call you for the fake relationship thing, right ? Yet he does. That means something. I think he likes you.” 

You shake your head, smiling at this little boy’s wild imagination. No way. No way was THE Bruce Wayne falling for you in any way. Were you guys becoming real friends ? Sure. But it definitely stopped there. Right ?

Oh but if only you knew Dick had a knack to see this kind of things, and to guess people’s real feelings. If only you knew, that yes, Bruce was starting to fall for you...It would make the next episode way less painful for you. 

“Catch me dead before you catch me catching feelings” - You to yourself, a few days before starting a fake relationship with THE Bruce Wayne. 

“Fuck you” - You to yourself, almost six months in faking a relationship with Bruce Wayne. 

This was...bad. 

Soon enough, you and Bruce will break this entire deal off, you will “dump” him, and you’d go on your separate ways. And...

This was bad. 

Why ? WHY COULDN’T YOU JUST HANG OUT WITH THIS AMAZING CHARMING MAN AND THAT’S IT ? Why ? WHY DID YOU HAVE TO GET OUT THERE AND CATCH....

Catch...

Catch those body shivering “feelings”. 

Not just for Bruce though. But for the little buddy too. 

You felt yourself fall for Bruce slowly, and as if it was completely out of your control. But you also felt like if Dick wasn't in your life anymore...You wouldn’t feel whole again. Like he was sort of your son, too, by then. 

This was so bad. How did you get yourself in this mess ? What was that FIRST rule you gave yourself when all this started ? 

Right, “Catch me dead before I catch feelings”. Damn it. 

Thanks GOD the “marrying season” was finally coming to an end. Both you and Bruce settled you’d wait a few weeks after it to make your break-up official, so nobody would be tempted to cancel any wedding plans to try and force their daughter onto him.  

And it couldn’t happen soon enough. 

Being around him now, faking being in love, was torture to you. 

Kissing him knowing he felt nothing. Holding his hand in public while you knew in your heart he was just putting a show still. And hanging out with him feeling that you had absolutely no chance of this ever evolving...

It hurt.

It hurt so bad. 

And you were slowly hoping you never agreed to being his fake girlfriend. Being a living cliche, the money and the fame were REALLY not worth the heartache. 

So not worth it...

The end...?

"Well mister Wayne, it has truly been a pleasure to be your "girlfriend" haha. Seriously, I had a lot of fun, and a little revenge on life. You know, I saw Eric and Monica not long ago. They tried to become my friends again, knowing I was with you. It was great, to ignore them like they ignored them. You’re right, they’re really not worth it. And honestly I still don’t think we’re even after they hurt me like they did but...In the end, they looked so outraged. Win-win, really. Thank you very much."

"Thank YOU, for playing along and doing more than you bargained for. You really saved me a lot of hassle and…I had fun, too."

Your taxi was pulling in front of the Manor, and honked as he parked. Clearly, not a very patient driver.

"Well, see you around, Bruce ! If you're not too busy, you know…I kinda consider you a friend by now ?"

"Me, too."

Bruce lied. A "friend" ? No, it couldn't cover and explain all his feelings for you. A "friend". How ridiculous.

As you walked away, giving him a last smile, Bruce felt a pang in his chest.

A painful and yet happy one. A longing one. One that told him that "friend" wasn't what he wanted to be…Not anymore…

But was there really a future for you and him ? Probably not. His nightly activities would get in the way. You deserve more than the life he could give you. Being his "fake" girlfriend, you only took part in his public matters. Part in a fake world full of nice things, that was far from his actual life.

"Friend", he wished he could be more to you than this.

But he knew.

He knew that for your own good, he had to stay away. And oh, oh how he wished he could be more than just your "friend" or "fake" boyfriend. 

Yet he watched as you walked away. Without doing anything. 

He watched you leave, and felt the hole in his heart expand a little more. But didn’t try to catch you, or stop you from leaving. 

And your taxi was already far, now. On its way to Gotham. 

"So you gonna run after her oooor…??"

Dick's little voice takes him out of his reveries.

“Mmm ?” 

“(Y/N). Are you gonna run after her, or stand there looking like a sad puppy for the rest of your life ?” 

“I do not look like a sad puppy.” 

“Yes you do, and you know it. Come on dad, why are you doing this ?” 

This was the first time Dick called him dad. Which didn’t go unnoticed to Bruce. It meant...It meant something was definitely happening. He felt it in his heart. Something that was dangerous. Oh so dangerous. 

Hope. Like the “old Bruce” had. Hope. Full of it. Before his parents were murdered in front of him, for no reasons. Meaningless. 

Hope. 

To have a family again. Ah. But...Being with you was impossible. And Dick would be enough. He would. He was already enough... 

“How long are ya gonna torture yourself exactly ?” 

That boy was too smart for his own good. Bruce said : 

“I’m not. I just...I can’t be with her.” 

“I cAn’T bE wITh hEr !! ...Why ?!” 

“You saw what happened, when it was made official we were together. She almost died.” 

“And you saved her. Your point being ?” 

“Dick...”

“Don’t -he takes a mock Bruce voice- “Dick” me mister ! You’re afraid to be happy, and I won’t have it. You gave me another chance to have a family. A dad. And I’m not about to let my dad punish himself for feeling good. You told me yourself my parents would like for me to be happy. Well yours would too, you big idiot ! So now, you listen to me.” 

Dick, meaning business, jumps on the stairs’ bannister to sort of be on eye level with Bruce, and says, pointing his finger at him : 

“You take one of those fancy useless sport car, and you run after her. Capish ?” 

There’s a moment of silence. During which Bruce is unsure of what to do. And then...Then he smiles at his son. 

His son. 

“Capish”, he simply says, and he rushes towards the garage’s entrance, under Dick’s happy look. 

Success. 

Bruce’s car was leaving the estate, when Alfred joined Dick at the front door. 

“You did it, Master Richard.” 

“I hope I did !” 

“Oh you did. You did. Thank you. Thank you for taking care of my son...”

Dick turned to Alfred, who couldn’t keep a straight face this time. Small tears gathered in the old man’s eyes, and sweet little Dick did not hesitate one second before jumping into his arms and giving him one of his famous “Grayson special” hug. 

It’s real. 

Back to square one. 

You. A bad day. Looking like a mess (this time not because of the rain, but because you cried a lot). Your gap year almost over and still not knowing who you were. With no coffee, but at least, you had a tub of ice cream. 

You already missed Bruce. And Dick. And Alfred. 

You couldn’t believe those six months of “faking” would end up meaning so much to you, and feel so devastating as they ended. 

You wish you had never met Bruce. And that you’d been ridiculed by Eric and Monica, that your life would still be pathetic...Pathetic maybe, but at least, your heart wasn’t completely shattered. 

You don’t hear the hurried knocks on your door, at first. Entranced by your own sadness. It’s only when they become loud and insistant you react. 

You really hope it’s not a journalist. They sort of tried to talk to you so many times, since you “dumped” Bruce...You knew he made sure that they’d stay away, but some were particularly persistent. 

Including that awful woman from the charity, who was asking Dick those horrible questions. “Vicky Vale”, was her name, apparently. What a witch. 

Clearly, the knocking wasn’t gonna go away, so you stood up, settled your tub of ice cream on your coffee table, and went to the door, ready to fight if need be. 

But there was no need for fights. 

At least, not in the literal sense of the term. 

“Bruce ?” 

He seems out of breath. Incredible, given how in shape he was. He doesn’t really leave you any time to say anything else, as he blurts out :

“I was wrong.”

He blurts out out of nowhere, and you’re even more confused. Before you could ask what was all this about, he adds : 

“I was wrong. When I said you were the right person because you were “normal”. You’re everything, BUT “just a regular person”. You’re the most fantastic woman I’ve ever met. You decided to help a total stranger just because. I know I helped you before, but it doesn’t compare to what you did for me. Especially on a matter that seems so silly to me now. You put yourself in a very awkward position for someone you didn’t even know. In front of the public, for a guy like me. You knew I was a “playboy”, and that I could very well use you. Yet you still put up with it. You accepted my son, even as you didn’t have to. Even as, just like me, you are so young. You were nice to Dick, even if all you needed to do was pretend. You’re...You’re...You’re just something else entirely. It feels like you know me, the real me. Like you can read my very soul. Like you’re the only one for me. I’ve known for a long time. I ignored it because I was afraid of what that meant but...but a certain little one made me realize this was time. It’s time to move on. It’s time to allow myself to be happy. And so, here I am.”

Was this...it ? The point of your gap year ? To discover that finding yourself...Meant finding your soulmate ? 

It sounded silly. While at the same time, not. Because you felt it. You felt it deep within you. From the moment Bruce handed you that twenty dollars bill, fate was in motion. 

You meeting Eric and Monica wasn’t bad luck. It was the opposite. It was the Universe’s push towards your real Destiny. 

Towards Bruce. 

“You’re not saying anything. Is this bad ? Or does it mean I blew your mind away ? I’m clearly hoping for the latter...”

Over the months, you discovered how huge of a dork Bruce Wayne could be. Even as if there was often a darkness right behind his smiles. Deep within his eyes. You discovered he wasn’t always this cocky arrogant man he portrayed himself to be while in public. How he was actually pretty funny and oh so empathetic. How...How so many things, the list seemed endless in your mind. 

And it only added to everything, that he looked so unsure. And so you smile. You just smile at him. And everything you feel is in that smile. 

You don’t even realize you’re holding each others now, and that you’re kissing...

It’s not pretend this time. 

A real first kiss. 

Though maybe all your kisses until now weren’t as fake as you pretended them to be. 

In any case, this, right now, is a real kiss alright. 

A real one. 

Full of all the pent up emotions. Free of all the fear and hurt you both felt as you realized you were in love with the other one, yet you thought things were all “fake”. 

Because it wasn't fake. It wasn’t. 

“I love you.” 

You don’t know who said it first. You, or him. You felt so in sync, that it didn’t matter. What is sure, is that you both said it. Before you closed the door to your apartment, leading him in. 

Before you spend the night in each other’s arms.

Bruce not even thinking about going out as Batman..

For the first time in years, he decided to fully embrace being happy. 

“You always told me my parents would wish for me to be happy, well yours too !” Dick said. And oh, he was so right.

By the way, I’m Batman. Surprise. 

“It’s not like I didn’t know, you know.” 

“Huh ?” 

Oh. Oh the delight to see that surprised expression on Bruce’s face. It was quite a rare one, really. And as he finally gathered the courage to tell you who he really was, risking losing you in the process but wanting to show you his full self...

It was particularly delightful. 

“Busted you on that night you saved me. As if I wasn’t going to recognized that jawline.” 

“Wait, really ? I really thought you bought my lies !” 

“Well now, you know not to underestimate me.” 

“I...Do.”

A natural smile reaches his face, and he approaches you, pulling you to him, and laying a soft kiss on your lips. Feeling fully accepted and loved, like never before. And he could see you-

“Oh NO EWWWWWW !!!” 

You pull away from Bruce’s kiss (noticing his slow grumble, displeased to lose  your warmth), and look at little Dickie (your son too, now !), staring at you two, looking disgusted. 

“Get a ROOOOM !!” 

This makes you laugh. A lot. And oh. Oh how would you ever guess, in that moment, that one day, this “get a room !!” said in such a disgusted tone would be the trademark of your children (SIX OF THEM) whenever they’d see you and Bruce display any sort of affection to one another ? 

You couldn’t guess, of course. But even in that moment, as you softly laughed, in Bruce’s arms, while looking at your son now making exaggerated noises and acting silly, you knew this...

This was what you’ve been looking for during this gap year. 

This was who you were. 

Right there. 

At the heart of a loving family, even if right now, it was just the three of you (four, let’s not forget Alfred !). 

The end. 

_________________________________________________

And here we are. I hope you liked it ? I feel particularly nervous about this one haha. Don’t hesitate to leave a little comment and reblog :),  It’s always greatly appreciated, and encouraging :D. Thanks in advance, and see you soon with a new story ! 

#Bruce Wayne x reader #Batman x Reader #Batmom #Batfam x Reader #Batfam #Batfamily x Reader #Bruce Wayne imagine #Bruce Wayne #Batman #DC reader insert #Richard Grayson x Reader #Richard Grayson imagine #Batman imagine #Batman reader insert #Robin x reader #AU compare to main Batmom #Richard Grayson #fem!reader

[snowwhitelass]

Sam Heughan: "Any Actor Would Never Say They're Not Interested In James Bond"

The 'Outlander' actor on those 007 rumours, not understanding 'Tenet', and the time he thought Andy McNab was about to kill him

By

Tom Nicholson

09/03/2021

We didn’t bring up James Bond. Sam Heughan did. For the record: he’s flattered, interested, coy and sceptical, in roughly that order. His new film does feel like a none-too-subtle hint that he could be comfortable behind the wheel of an Aston though.

SAS: Red Notice is a Big Action Flick based on Andy McNab’s novel of the same name. In which the very McNab-ishly emotion-free Special Forces operative Tom Buckingham, played by Heughan, has to sort out a bunch of mercenaries who’ve taken a trainful of hostages in the Channel Tunnel while rooting out corruption at the heart of the British establishment.

Buckingham is part Bruce Wayne (independently wealthy, dead parents, sage butler), part John McClane (trapped in a terrorist siege), and, yes, a bit of MI6’s least consistently secretive secret agent too (love of country, mild psychopathy). He is, at least, aware that the ease with which he throttles, stabs and grenade-launchers his way through life might indicate that there’s something wrong with him.

“And I think we can all relate to that, you know, we all have these feelings.” Heughan says over Zoom. He pauses. “[I’m] not saying we all think we're psychopaths. But, you know, it's a man who's slightly lost.”

Over lockdown Heughan’s been busy with work and very slowly learning the piano – “I think I've got up to ‘When The Saints Go Marching In’” – and waiting to hear about the next series of Outlander, his day job and the root of his considerable and vociferous personal fanbase. 

“We're shooting season six. And hopefully, there'll be some news soon, about next season – a possible next season. So we'll see about that. But yeah, I don't know. I think as long as people enjoy it, and we enjoy making it then yeah, long may it live.”

Is it unsettling hanging out with someone who describes themselves as a psychopath?

I found myself at one point in this sort of cave, we were doing some tactical training in Leeds, there was no one there but me and him and we had some weapons with us. I just thought, 'Oh, my God, what am I doing here?' Like, I'm with a guy who's a trained killer, who is a self-professed psychopath. Like, what if he just doesn't like me? What if he thinks I'm not good enough? And he just, that's it, you're gone [Heughan imitates gunfire.] But it was really fascinating because he is the most gregarious, charming, outgoing, intelligent man – by studying him I realised that's how to play him.

Are action heroes necessarily psychopaths?

Somebody asked me earlier, "Is James Bond a psychopath?" There are a lot of high functioning, 'good' psychopaths, as we call them, in the military, but also lawyers, doctors, surgeons – people that have to be in these high stress situations that need to be logical, and not allow their emotions to take them over. It might be a learned behaviour, or it might be something they've been born with, but in a stressful situation they can turn down their empathy, they can turn up their logical thinking, or whatever it is. If they need to be charming, like maybe James Bond, you know, he could be more charming. It's very much about them being able to just manipulate their emotions and turn them on and turn them off. That's what Andy did: he was doing these studies with Oxford University and they had a heart rate monitor on him and checking all of his biometrics. They were showing him a lot of very graphic images and videos, and they saw his heart rate go up, and then just flatline. There's almost like something in his brain just switches off and he can just be totally fine.

You mentioned Bond there, so I’m going to ask the question: is it something you’re interested in?

I think any actor would never say they're not interested. Of course, you'd be interested. I mean, it is all rumours, and sometimes you think, should I, should we even talk about it? Because you don't want to jinx it. I'm sure the people, whoever runs [Bond] – you know, Barbara Broccoli and Eon and all that – they must be sick of it; people sort of throwing their hat into the ring. But yeah, he's a great character, and would be certainly be a fascinating character study and place to kick off. But I think in SAS we have our own authentic note based on real life scenarios, we have our authentic character, so I'd love to explore this one more.

In the past you’ve talked about wanting Scottish independence. Where are you at with that now?

I’m firstly very proud to be British, but certainly seeing the way that that Scotland has been surviving and been very well led, and also the way that the democratic system is set up; that Scotland, despite [being] promised that if we voted to stay in the UK, we would stay in Europe, and then we weren't, we were pulled out of it. The majority of Scotland wanted to stay in Europe, and I think it's important for us to work together with our European neighbours, and to be part of that. It's a time to remain open to other countries, rather than sort of closing our borders off. I think it's also dangerous to have actors sprouting their politics, but that's my personal opinion. I think it's a great country, Scotland, and I certainly would love to see it thrive and do well.

Most people who see SAS: Red Notice are going to see it at home. How’ve you been coping without cinemas and theatres?

I do miss them a great deal and theatre as well. Obviously, [as] an actor they're where I grew up and I would love to see them open again. After the first lockdown, I managed to get to the cinema a couple of times. I love that sort of shared experience, when you're with other people and you're not talking to them but there is this feeling when you're in a theatre or cinema [that] you're having a shared experience.

What did you see?

I saw Tenet and I saw On The Rocks with Bill Murray. Two very different movies.

What did you make of Tenet? Did you understand it?

Honestly as an experience, no, I didn't enjoy it. Watching it as a movie maker, I was in awe of how incredible it was. The action sequences are just stunning and I read about how they did the fight scenes – you know, in SAS, we have some great action sequences and I know how long that takes and how hard it is, so for them to then learn it backwards is ridiculous. But yeah, I was confused, to be honest. Still am.

Have you picked up anything over lockdown you’ve not had time for before?

I actually started teaching myself piano. I got a keyboard and I haven't touched it for about a month but I was enjoying it. I think we've all baked soda bread and drunk alcohol and read books and watched movies. I think now it feels like the spring is almost around the corner, I'm ready to get back outdoors and I really can't wait to get back out into the mountains, especially in Scotland, go hiking and stuff.

Best hike in Scotland?

There’s so many but I'll say an unknown but really beautiful ridge walk – and I love a ridge because you know they curve right the way around – is the Ballachulish ridge. It's a little known ridge, but it's stunning.

SAS: Red Notice is available only on Sky Cinema from 12 March

https://www.esquire.com/uk/culture/a35760811/sam-heughan-interview-james-bond/

#Sam Heughan #outlander #jamie fraser #sas red notice #james bond

[ladyanput]

So Lila is having a party and hires Mari’s partners bakery to cater. The Batfam come over to surprise Mari with a visit. Mari has to work Lila’s party. The Batfam decide to help out. At the end of the party Lila decides to not pay for the pastries. And says “if Marinette was a friend she would give them to us for free.” The Batfam is pissed and put not only Lila but the entire class in their place. Sooooo much salt

This is also based off of a prompt @virgil-is-a-cutie sent me forever ago.

[[MORE]]

Marinette stared down at the name on the catering order, dread curdling in her gut like sour milk.

Lila Rossi

"We're catering a party tonight?" Marinette looked up at her parents, who were frantically putting together the order that had been sent in last minute. The sight made Marinette's heart ache.

"The poor girl told us that her caterer cancelled on her last minute and this is for her birthday, so we decided to take it." Sabine smiled brightly, though it was obviously strained along the edges as she whipped up some more buttercream icing for the towering birthday cake they were putting together.

"I just hope we can find someone to help us cater on such short notice." Tom muttered as he took another batch of chocolate filled croissants out of the oven, filling the air with the buttery sweet scent.

"I could help!" Marinette spoke out quickly, then winced. She knew exactly what this party was, it was the one that Lila had been going on and on about for months, a big party where tons of celebrities would be, as well as Lila's millionaire boyfriend. There were also her braggings about getting special caterers from Spain, but Marinette assumed this was just Lila backpedalling with a new story of the caterers canceling on her last minute.

It was also a party that Marinette had not been invited to and was basically banned from by her class.

But still, she couldn't just let her parents deal with this alone, they didn't deserve that!

Her parents beamed and Sabine hugged her daughter tightly, just as the front door's bell jingled. Marinette peeked out of the kitchen and blinked in surprise with she saw four men standing in the bakery entrance. Four familiar men.

"What are you guys doing here in Paris?" Marinette pushed her way through the swinging door, rushing over to the four Wayne sons and throwing herself into Damian's arms, warmly kissing him

as she was picked up and spun around.

"We wanted to visit you." Tim offered, blinking in surprise when Marinette wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed his cheek.

"We wanted to see you, Angel." Damian smiled, then shot a glare to his brothers, Jason specifically. "Though one is us simply wanted to stuff his ugly mug full of pastries. I swear, he'll end up fat with diabetes and alone for the rest of his life."

"Whatever, Demon Spawn, you're just jealous because Marinette likes making goodies for me more than you." Jason rolled his eyes, but scooped up Mari into a tight hug. "Your boyfriend here has been antsy to see you."

"Because I couldn't stand the sight of your face anymore." Damian shot back, before turning his gaze to Marinette once again. He noticed the lines of stress around her mouth, her eyes. Something was obviously bothering her. "Marinette, what's wrong?"

"Huh?" Marinette looked between the four guys nervously, fiddling with one of her pigtails. "Oh, nothing! It's just that we just got a last minute catering gig and we don't have enough catering staff. As in I'll be the only one serving alongside my parents."

Dick and Jason exchanged glances before the oldest Wayne boy reached out and set a hand on the girl's shoulder.

"Let us help you tonight, Mari. We wanted to spend time with you anyways, so this can help with the issue." Dick offered, smiling brightly down at her.

"No, I couldn't ask that of you! Besides, you've probably never catered before, I wouldn't want anyone getting hurt!" Mari stuttered out as her parents exited the kitchen, covered in flour, sugar, and sweat.

"Well, Angel, I'm sorry to say." Damian smiled, crossing his arms as he watched her. "You don't really have much of a choice."

---

Looking back on it now, Marinette was more than happy the boys insisted. The entire school was at this party being hosted by Lila at Le Grand Paris. Marinette silently wondered how the hell Lila could afford this.

She served people the chocolate croissants, though kept clear of her classmates, not wanting to deal with any of that smack talk. From what she saw of the boys, they were doing superb, some of her classmates *cough* Sabrina *cough* Alya *cough* openly flirted with the beyond handsome guys.

As Marinette turned to serve a few kids from her art club, her stomach dropped at the sight of Lila walking over to her. Ever since Lila had turned seventeen, she had taken to wearing these tight clothes that hid nothing of her body. Marinette was pretty sure that tight orange evening dress Lila had on fit her like a second skin. And it obvious the girl was not wearing a bra, by the gods where was the bleach.

"Marinette! It was so kind of you and your parents to cater my party this evening! I really appreciate it, the food was lovely, there were even done croissants that weren't dried out." Lila grinned, her green eyes sparking with malice as their class surrounded them, shooting Marinette glares as they hadn't wanted the baker's daughter anywhere near this party to ruin it.

"I'm glad you enjoyed it, Lila." Marinette forced a smile, her hands gripping the edges of her platter tightly. She honestly wanted to chuck it at Lila and run. "My parents will be sending you the bill tomorrow."

Alya snorted, as well did the rest of miss Bustier's class. Lila joined in, her laughter drawing the attention of the nearby Damian.

"Very funny, Marinette. I know all about you not charging your friends. And you are such a good friend, right, to cater my birthday party for free? It's my eighteenth after all, you wouldn't want to make me cry on my birthday." Lila fluttered her lashes, but the threat was clear. If Marinette said no, Lila would put up a stink in front of the entire school and ruin the bakery's reputation.

"But... But this entire gig is worth about three hundred and forty euros." Marinette visibly paled, her eyes darting to her parents who were setting down the large birthday cake Lila had ordered, one with fifteen layers. They had worked so hard ever since two am that morning... It would be so much money down the drain.

"God, Marinette, don't be selfish! You catered to my birthday party last year, didn't you?" Alya snapped, crossing her arms as she cocked her hip.

"Yours was only a few trays of cupcakes, Alya.." Marinette began to tremble in anger as she noticed Lila tearing up. How dare they.. How dare they expect something this expensive for free?! Marinette was sure Lila was going to try and get this ballroom for free too, as well as the decorators!

"That is a bit ridiculous, don't you think?" Damian stepped up beside his girlfriend and shot Lila a withering glare. "This is a very expensive venue, a true friend wouldn't ask for that ridiculous amount of a discount. Even a best friend."

"I don't know who you are, but you will certainly be hearing from my boyfriend if you don't mind your own business!" Lila snapped, tossing her hair over her shoulder, which unfortunately caught Alya in the face, knocking her glasses onto the floor.

"Oh yeah, who's your boyfriend?" Tim strode up, eyebrow raised. He couldn't imagine anyone wanting to kiss that vile girl.

"Damian Wayne. His family is very rich and powerful, you know." Lila sneered, setting her hands on her hips, unaware of Alya being on her hands and knees, desperately searching for her glasses.

"That's funny. I don't ever remember having a girlfriend quite like you. Last time I checked, my girlfriend had the most beautiful blue eyes, and the most adorable freckles." Damian wrapped an arm around Marinette's waist, pulling her close as he planted a kiss on her cheek.

"I take it you're the lying girl that made my little Pixie Pop cry." Jason loomed over the group, a feral smile on his face as he crossed his arms, the entire room watching them now. "Throwing our father's name around isn't too smart, Lie-la."

"Neither is telling the hotel staff that our father is paying for this venue." Dick commented as he strode over, Mayor Bourgeois right behind him, sweating nervously.

"What do you mean? I don't know what stunt you're trying to pull, but Bruce Wayne will certainly send his lawyers after you lot for trying to pass yourselves off as Wayne's!" Lila snapped, fear flickering across her features, her skin paling a bit.

"Enough with the lies, Miss Rossi, I do not take kindly to those who bully my future daughter in law."

The voice cut sharply through the rising noise of the class beginning to shout at Marinette for setting this scenario up to ruin the party, and the rest of the school whispering to each other that Lila's other promises hadn't come true. Jagged Stone and Clara Nightengale never appeared to play at the party; Nino had been forced to DJ last minute with Lila convincing him to do it for free. Prince Ali never came to dance with Lila. Everything she said never seemed to add up.

But the sight of Bruce Wayne, a tall, handsome, imposing figure, shut everyone up. He made his way towards his sons and Marinette's class, a kind smile forming on his face as he reached Marinette.

"I was wondering where you all had gone. It seems you all neglected to mention to me that you had my sons helping you tonight. You know, I could have chipped in too, Marinette." He patted her head fondly, while Lila started to sweat bullets. Alya, once having found her glasses, though one of the lenses was cracked, put them on and looked over at Bruce Wayne, gasping rather loudly.

"Oh my god, Bruce Wayne! I'm so glad to finally meet you! Can I get an interview on your thoughts of your son Damian getting married to Lila next year? Are you really going to get her shoes made of gold? Will she really take off with him on a horse drawn carriage to their honeymoon in Fiji?" She babbled out, taking her phone out to record the conversation. Though one look from Bruce's icy eyes stopped her dead.

"I believe you need to re-check those sources of yours. I have no idea who this Miss Rossi is, except she has been having large expenses being put down under my name." He growled, while his sons snickered behind him. Lila gulped and began to tremble, never thinking Bruce Wayne would actually find out about those expenses. Most rich people didn't, they just spent money without a care in the world, right?

"Please, there's a misunderstanding..." Lila squeaked out, while Alya saw red, turning on Marinette.

"How dare you! You turned the Waynes on Lila too?! What, did you spread those ostrich legs of yours to corrupt them? God, Marinette, you're the most selfish, cruel, manipulative girl I know!" Alya got right in Marinette's face, reaching out for her. But Damian stepped in her way, a look of murder on his face.

"Touch her and you lose your hands, and I'll have my friend's mother ruin that God damn blog of yours. Lois already hates the sight of it, she's eager to tear it apart." He hissed through clench teeth.

The silence was thick as Bruce turned to Mayor Bourgeois, who was ringing his hands.

"I have no intention of paying for this venue. Everything that she out under my name tonight is to be charged to Miss Rossi, understand?" The cold tone had the mayor nodding and trembling under the Wayne's cold gaze.

"Tom, Sabine." Bruce turned to the couple, and his warm smile returned. "I daresay you both wasted enough time here. How about we all go out for dinner now, hm?"

"You can't do this to me!" Lila sobbed, tears flooding her eyes as she hugged herself, before frantically turning to a shellshocked Alya. "Alya, I can't afford this! You need to help me!"

"It's okay, Lila, Marinette won't get away with this. Adrien still likes you, right? Why not ask his father to cover it? You're his most prized model, remember?" Alya smiled, though her brows were drawn together in uncertainty.

Lila took a moment to smooth down her hair, to calm herself. She mustn't lose control, she could easily turn this on Marinette, on her parents, on the Waynes. She was Lila Rossi, the most adored girl in school. She wouldn't let anything like stupid Marinette the chink ruin this for her.

So with a stunning smile and some words to wave away any doubt, she strode over to her massive birthday cake as the Waynes and Marinette's parents left, announcing it was time for some delicious cake. She was about to cut a slice, when someone (definitely not Juleka) bumped into the table holding the cake. The massive cake wobbled, before it went teetering onto Lila and Alya, splattering them both in cake and buttercream frosting, as well as a ripping down as Alya stumbled and stepped on Lila's dress, causing the material to rip from hem to the top of her bodice.

Marinette could hear their screams of outrage as she entered the Wayne's limo to head out for a nice dinner with her boyfriend and his family

---

The fallout of the entire debacle was a mess, an extreme one. Lila's mother found herself suddenly with bills that almost lead deep into the thousands of euros, as well as some lawsuits from celebrities that caught wind of Lila using their names to get things and into places.

Alya was sent lawsuits after lawsuits by the same celebrities for her lies on her blog, and her parents as well as Nino's were furious when they found out that the two had been sneaking out of babysitting for secret dates, dumping their children onto either Marinette or Lila's lap, the latter being a complete stranger.

But Monday morning had to be the worst. The school was talking about the disaster of a party, of everyone being forced out of the venue since Lila couldn't pay, of Lila accidentally flashing people once her dress hand been ripped in two thanks to Alya. They even spoke of Miss Bustier's class as if they were the plague, and avoided the group in fear of facing any backlash.

When Marinette arrived that morning with Adrien at her side, both were laughing as Marinette carried a stack of papers. When Marinette saw the class, they all looked tired, ashamed. Many got up to beg for her forgiveness, but she merely waved them back to seating, then handed each and everyone one of them a piece of paper. They each read them, noticing that they looked like receipts.

"Hey, Marinette, what are these?" Kim held up his paper, frowning in confusion. Marinette rose a brow and set her hands on her hips.

"Your bills for every event, every cake, every dress or outfit I made any of you for free." She replied flatly, crossing her arms as soon as she sat. Adrien handed a red eyes Lila a piece of paper as well. "Bruce Wayne made me realize that since you all aren't really my friends, I shouldn't have to waste so much money on all of you."

"This is from my father. This is for your official termination." Adrien's smile was bright as Lila began to tremble in anger at the sight of it. "It was nice knowing you, Lila."

The class was on their feet in seconds, shouting in outrage as soon as they saw exactly how high their receipts were asking for. It was over a million for the class as a whole. Marinette raised her left hand to cover a yawn, and Alya caught sight of a rather impressive wedding ring. The reporter pointed at it and cried out in shock.

"You're engaged?!" She screamed, her hand crushing her receipt as she trembled. Hers was the highest out of everyone's. Her parents were going to kill her.

"Yes, just last night. We'll be getting married next year." Marinette shrugged, smiling at Adrien as she motioned to his left hand. "And Adrien and Tim will be getting married soon after graduation."

Everyone stared at the gold band on Adrien's left ring finger, many going pale. Alya worked up a shaky smile.

"W- we can't wait to go, you guys! Congratulations, they'll be the weddings of the century." Her mind already swirled around the possibilities of covering those weddings on her blog, it could save her entire career.

"Oh Alya." Adrien clicked his tongue in disdain, hooking arms with Marinette and the two of them smiled, like wolves about to slaughter the sheep. Then in unison they spoke.

"You all will be too far in debt to even buy a newspaper about our weddings."

And that night, the class suffered the worst grounding they had ever seen, with many bank accounts being drained to scramble and pay back the Dupain-Chengs. Lila and her mother had to file for bankruptcy, and were forced back to Italy thanks to the embassy catching wind of this scandal.

Meanwhile, Damian cuddled with Marinette as they laid under the stars on her roof, their left hands gripped tightly as their engagement rings twinkled softly in the moonlight.

Taglist: @vixen-uchiha @ravennightingaleandavatempus @2sunchild2 @crazylittlemunchkin @bee-wrecker @souleateralicestein @loysydark @kceedraws @realrandomposts @alienjoyful @sidessunnybumblebee @persephonebutkore @18-fandoms-unite-08 @suzen23smith @luciferge @theelventhgod @noirdots @space--butterflies @ghostglaceon @magicalfirebird @goggles-mcgee @chocolate1721 @minightrose @bookcrazybby @cupcakeandkisses @mewwitch

#lila salt #alya salt #miraculous salt #daminette #maribat #ml x dc

[noahmanskar]

The Best Albums of 2020 (and from the Before Times)

I read a lot of year-end music roundups, and several this year have come with a resonant caveat: It’s been harder to discover new music this year, both because of physical limitations (no shows, no record-store browsing, no chats with friends about your latest finds), and because the way we used music fundamentally changed. It certainly did for me. Rather than serving as the backdrop for a commute or a night out, it created moments of solace from cabin fever while doing dishes, or showering, or running semi-weekly errands. So I often turned to what was comfortable and familiar, songs that conjured memories and feelings to get me through the day. Even on the rare occasions of social listening, the groups I was with drifted into nostalgia — middle school dance tracks, mid-2000s emo, inherited dad rock, even songs from just a year or two ago, when everything was simpler, relatively speaking.

That’s not to say nothing new moved me. There was a handful of albums and songs that were crucial to getting through the doldrums. They soundtracked bike rides, long walks, longer drives and lots of small moments mentioned above. But I don’t think I can think about my favorite music of this year without thinking about the albums of the past that got me through it. Besides, one of the many lessons 2020 taught is that time is a bizarre illusion anyway. (This exercise also lets me write about some recent albums that I didn’t get to write about when they were actually released.

So here are the albums, past and present, that made 2020 bearable. I hope you found yours, too.

Tame Impala, “The Slow Rush”

Tame Impala’s fourth LP came out on Valentine’s Day. That afternoon, Claire and I had a lunch date to mark the occasion before we got on a plane to visit my parents. The night before, we had gone out to dinner with friends visiting from San Francisco and then to a bar, where we huddled next to strangers on a water bed. Roughly a month later, all of this would be unimaginable, and Kevin Parker’s lyrics to “One More Year” would be eerily prescient as we settled into this new normal:

But now I worry our horizon's been nothing new 'Cause I get this feeling and maybe you get it too We're on a rollercoaster stuck on its loop-de-loop 'Cause what we did one day on a whim Has slowly become all we do

The song is really about surrendering to time, and not worrying about it passing in spite of your ambivalence. The opening chants of Parker’s “Gregorian Robot Choir” make it easy to surrender. They carry you into a world where, as the cover art suggests, all that time you were worrying about has already passed, so you might as well dance. At the same time, the songs that follow, like “Borderline,” “Breathe Deeper” and “Lost In Yesterday” make it easy to remember what it was like to dance in a sweaty room with people you love, and to look forward to doing it again, after a little more time passes.

Fleet Foxes, “Shore”

There’s something comforting about the fact that Fleet Foxes released this record on the exact moment of the autumnal equinox. It’s a reminder that nature has its own rhythms that carry on regardless of what occurs in our human lives. They give us a measure of certainty in uncertain times. One of these rhythms — death — looms large in “Sunblind,” an ode to Robin Pecknold’s departed musical forebears: David Berman, Bill Withers, John Prine and others. This song exuding calm acceptance shifts into “Can I Believe You,” which wrestles frankly with doubt and fear.

These tracks contain profound contradictions, but sonically, they're both bright, hopeful and sure. That’s what made this album such a balm in the sixth month of this pandemic, a time of both growing darkness and hope for what might be on the other side. It reminds us that there’s power and beauty in feeling all these things at once.

Lil Uzi Vert, “Eternal Atake”

This one spent two years in label purgatory, but it finally arrived in March to prove Lil Uzi Vert can do it all. He’s at his most versatile here, spitting and crooning, boasting and balladeering. “You Better Move” is an early standout packed with playful nostalgia, including a beat that samples that classic PC pinball game and delightful jabs like these:

Yeah, step on competition, changin' my shoes Green shirt, bitch, I'm Steve, where is Blue? Every chain on, I pity a fool I'm an iPod, man, you more like a Zune Made her eat on my dick with a spoon, ew Versace drawers, bitch, you Fruit of the Loom

Then there are the melodic tracks like “Urgency,” which compel you to hum along even on the first listen. The excellent diversity made it worth the wait for this hourlong journey to another planet.

Sturgill Simpson, “Cuttin’ Grass Vol. 1: The Butcher Shoppe Sessions”

I haven’t spent much time with Sturgill Simpson outside of 2014′s “Metamodern Sounds in Country Music,” and I can’t say I’ve ever listened to another bluegrass album all the way through. But these new cuts of songs picked from Simpson’s catalog are wonderfully enticing. Simpson puts the talents of his backing band front and center, and their harmonies and rhythms illuminate his vivd songwriting in new ways. It was a great introduction to the genre for me.

Fiona Apple, “Fetch The Bolt Cutters”

I got here after the hype, after the perfect 10, after all the year-end number-ones. Fiona Apple lives up to all of it. Her compositions are complex and evocative, the lyrics tender and biting at once. Her artistry is unsparing. The chorus to the title track is already getting stuck in my head, and I can’t wait to spend more time with this one.

Bea Troxel, “The Way That It Feels” (2017)

Almost a decade has passed since I first saw Bea Troxel play. She was in an incredibly talented trio with two of my high school classmates: Maeve Thorne (who has an entrancing solo EP of her own), and Rita Pfeiffer (the violinist on this record). They ended up winning my school’s battle of the bands, and I got to interview them for the student newspaper. Shortly after our senior year, they recorded an album that still outshines most of today’s indie folk. So I jumped at the chance to all three of them again in Brooklyn. 

Troxel’s performance in particular was a revelation. I won’t ever forget how I fell into a trance as she picked away at “Talc,” which exemplifies her gift for natural metaphor. I haven’t stopped playing her record since, and it’s been a constant comfort throughout this year. Her voice is one of a kind, her songwriting is rich, and the compositions flow together beautifully. I can’t wait for more; in the meantime, “The Way That It Feels” will be on repeat.

Travis Scott, “Birds In The Trap Sing McKnight” (2016)

There’s been much ado about the brilliance of “Astroworld,” Travis Scott’s magnum opus, but I have a soft spot for his sophomore LP, where he reached the peak of the spare and heavy sound that started to take shape on “Owl Pharaoh.” There are plenty of sonic layers here, and the ordering of the tracks is a craft in itself — a series of peaks and valleys that glides from the haze of “beibs in the trap” to the climax of “goosebumps” and then into the cool waters of “pick up the phone.” It feels like Scott is guiding you to and from these destinations. The journey is, as The Weeknd might put it, “wonderful.”

Harmonium, “Harmonium” (1974)

One of my pandemic binges was “Letterkenny,” the sharp Ontario-set sitcom with top-notch banter and a great soundtrack full of indie hits and Canadian deep cuts. The fight scenes are elegantly choreographed, but so are the handful of sequences at the end of key episodes that reveal the show’s emotional bedrock. One such scene is set to Harmonium’s “Un musicien parmi tant d'autres” — the main characters are reveling in a bar with their Québécois pals, whom they’ve just helped beat up a rival group. As the song builds to its climactic chorus, leading man Wayne, surrounded by couples, realizes his longing for companionship. Another fight breaks out, but instead of joining in, Wayne makes his way through the slow-motion fray toward the woman he’ll propose to in the next season. (Their relationship later falls apart, but that doesn’t undercut this scene’s beauty.)

This is probably the first foreign-language album I’ve listened to in full, but all of it evokes that feeling for me — the joy of walking through the chaos to reach what’s really important. Not a bad sentiment for these times.

Bon Iver, “22, A Million”

To talk about this weird, dark and brilliant album, I need to talk about “715 - CR∑∑KS.” Everyone I’ve talked to about the third track on “22, A Million” either loves it or can’t stand it. I’m devoted to it to the extent that it was my most-played song on Spotify this year. It oscillates between tenderness and fear, between silence and explosions of sound. The lyrics are an epitome of Justin Vernon’s cryptic poetry. It’s isolated and spare and enthralling and beautiful in its own bizarre way — just like the rest of the album, which is rich with themes of persevering through the darkness in spite of the uncertainty about when the light will appear. Vernon is alone on “CR∑∑KS,” but he’s accompanied by a cacophony of his own voice. As alone as we might feel right now, there’s always someone else shouting through the darkness with us, even if we can’t see them.

#music #2020 #bon iver #harmonium #bea troxel #travis scott #lil uzi vert #sturgill simpson #fiona apple #fleet foxes #tame impala

[bigskydreaming]

Why do You dislike Scott Snyder? I mean I have my reasons.. like a lot of the Court of Owls stuff, his convoluted plots, making Dick a punching bag for the broody bats, horrible at writing the family as a family he literally wrote Death of the Family I mean....*kill bill sirens* ... Also the ''son of a Damian'' line from Black Mirror etc. But I'm curious if you have more reasons since I'm pretty new and I'm told that he likes Dick and wanted to write Dick focused books and I don't.. buy it.

LOL yeah, all of that for sure, and I mean.....tbh, I don’t pay enough attention to his interviews and stuff to even be aware that he’s said that about liking Dick and wanting to write Dick-centric books, but I’m with you on that....not necessarily meaning anything.

God knows I’ve lost track of how many fic writers in this fandom swear up and down they love Dick Grayson and yet I avoid their stories with extreme energy, lmao, because I’ve read enough of their takes on DG that I’m like hmmm, yeah, we are not the same, lol. I mean, there’s a certain couple fic writers who just are like....DETERMINED to mention Danny Chase every single time I make a post about why I’m annoyed by the focus on Dick’s allegedly infamous temper. And its always the exact same song on repeat, they’re like “OH-HO, so apparently you don’t remember the time Dick choked Danny, a literal CHILD, just because Danny had the nerve to tell him Jason died, cuz like, I do, and it was AWFUL and Danny could have died TOO y’know, that’s how mad Dick was.” 

And then I just kinda stare at these words that apparently mean things, and enter a fugue state where an unknown amount of time passes and by the end of it I feel 80 million epochs older, and its like....no, I absolutely do remember that time when Dick grabbed Danny by the shirt and yelled in his face because he just found out his brother died and Danny said “what’s the big deal, its not like it doesn’t happen all the time” and this was absolutely not an awesome and fun scene for anyone, no matter how understandable Dick’s upset was at the time. BUT, I also happen to remember, since y’know, it was in that literal exact same issue, how then Dick went to see Bruce, and due to BRUCE’S upset about Jason’s death, Bruce literally punched his remaining son to the ground, screams about how it was all Dick’s fault, and kicks him out of the house Dick grew up in and tells him to leave his keys with Alfred. 

And its like......the very same people who LOVE to throw around references to Danny Chase in order to puff up the claims about Dick Grayson being volatile and extreme and having a Dangerous Temper like, flat out REFUSE to ever even ACKNOWLEDGE that scene with Dick and Bruce, from the literal exact same issue, because they at the same time claim that THIS was bad writing and OOC and Bruce would never.....but apparently, the writing from ten pages before it was just fine and completely accurate and Dick absolutely would not only ever, he would always, and thus Dick’s Legendary Dangerous Temper is canon and its why Dick can’t have nice things or people being nice to him in these writers’ stories, its too Dangerous, he might get mad I guess.

And each time this comes up on this site, I’m always like....hey, science side of tumblr, is it possible that insisting on vilifying Dick for his reaction to someone in the wake of Jason’s death whilst simultaneously refusing to acknowledge the scene of Bruce’s reaction to Dick is canon or in-character despite existing in the exact same issue and written by the exact same writer.....like....could this be one of those double standards I’m always going on about? And isn’t it in fact reasonable to question just how much or how little someone actually means it when they say they love a character but want that character flogged in the middle of the town square for a Bad Reaction to something that also prompted a Bad Reaction from another character but this character, they’ll like, throw themselves in front of a moving train if it keeps someone from daring to even suggest that THEIR reaction was canon and in-character and might potentially say something damning about their temper or behavior with friends or family?

*heaves endless sigh of endlessness*

Sorry, that example was right there on the tip of my brain today because like....I literally just saw another post around this oft-deceased and resurrected and killed to death again dead horse like, five minutes ago and then came to dip into my ask box for the first time today and it was like.....destiny. Assuming destiny has some free time to kill and nothing better to do, which, I mean, hey, everyone’s allowed a hobby is all I’m saying.

LOL sooooooooooo, ANYWHO, its just like.....ugh, I’m so over being expected to take at face value any writers, whether professional or fan, saying “oh but I love this character or that character, and due to that being my preface to everything else I say or do in regards to this character, you have zero basis for claiming that you do not like or trust my depiction of this character because ummm, read much? I literally JUST said, I love them though? Wow. Insert scoffs of incredulity here, I don’t even know how to talk to someone who thinks I don’t like a character I claimed I like just because literally everything else I say or do about them paints an opposing picture to the contrary.”

LMAO. Sorry. Had to get that off my chest. But yeah, like, I think EVERY canon Batfam writer has made a similar claim in recent years about pretty much every Batfam character, and at a certain point it starts to be like....okay, if all of you are telling the truth here, shouldn’t we see more canon evidence of like....these characters that you’re writing, like....actually even LIKING each other? At what point are we allowed to question the legitimacy of you saying oh I totes love this character, that’s why I write their family as abusing them, that’s just love, baby, that’s what it looks like.

Personally, I’d like to see more of us at least using qualifiers? I mean, I do say I don’t hate Tim, or Bruce, or any of these characters, but I get how people could be dubious about that and be all, umm, you rant about them a lot, because like...yeah. Fair. That’s a valid critique. SO its a lot more accurate for me to be like, I love 90s Tim and I just have become increasingly less enchanted with the character over the past twenty years since then, enough so that my knee-jerk reactionism to people bashing Dick’s character BECAUSE of what Dick did or didn’t do to Tim in their eyes, is like.....disinclined to view the situation or his character these days through 90s-Tim rose-colored glasses. 

Similarly, I truly don’t hate Bruce, at least not when he’s not being written as physically and emotionally abusive and/or just plain neglectful, BUT I absolutely despise the abuse apologism rampant in most fandoms, but particularly in this one, where people will make like Cirque-de-Soilei contortionists in order to prove that Bruce beating this kid or that kid isn’t actually abuse, its cuz they made him do it....rather than people just being like, no, that’s abuse right there on the page and I don’t stand for it or stan that Batman, so I have zero desire to defend that scene or his actions there from his perspective, and am totally fine with taking a seat when someone speaks up about how much they hate what Bruce did to his kid there in that scene and how it affects their read of the characters as a whole.

Its like....that too, is a thing you can do, instead of just.....trying to explain why Bruce isn’t abusive see, because what happened there wasn’t actually abuse, since it couldn’t have been, because Bruce isn’t abusive, see, he would Never.

And yet so rarely do people actually do that, and we have people literally championing themselves as members of the Good Dad Bruce Protection Squad when the frank reality is there CAN BE NO GUARANTEE of him ever and always being a Good Dad, when like....his characterization, ultimately, is dependent on how he’s written by canon writers who ARE NOT US. Which makes that desire to see him as just a good dad and nothing but a good dad always, like....not quite as understandable as it otherwise might be, and instead just kinda....willful, an admission that a lot of fans in this fandom will just flat out ignore all evidence to the contrary of this stated claim about what Bruce inherently IS, when inherently all he is happens to be a character who manifests whatever those in creative control of him choose to manifest via him. Like.....there are ways to go about that kinda thing, its just....that isn’t it. Something like “Proud member of the Keep Bruce Wayne a Good Dad Squad’ or something along those lines? I’d have ZERO issue with, because that’s ACTIONABLE, not WILLFUL. It posits not that Bruce simply IS this way and there’s no ifs, ands or buts about it, but rather that just because he isn’t this way in some instances, that doesn’t mean we have to agree with it or condone that interpretation of him, y’know?

But people are like....unwilling to make that distinction or hold that nuance a lot of the times, so my dislike of Bruce as he’s written in certain ways or by certain writers like....grows and evolves and mutates into Godzilla rampaging through downtown New York, until its understandable that people reading my blog intermittently and who don’t follow everything I say on the subject are like.....”Bold of you to claim you like lizards in this one post when I have here nine other posts where you’re just like, FEAR the murderous monster-lizard destroying New York for it is Dangerous and Fearsome. Cuz one of these things is not like the others, bud.”  

*Shrugs* Anyway, all of that’s just my allergy to Staying on Topic, so make of it what you will, hopefully you get what I mean though even if you don’t have like, the requisite Kalen-Garbled-Nonsense Secret Decoder Ring. Back to Snyder though....yeah, he can claim he likes Dick all he wants, because y’know what, Tynion says the same thing and its been well established by moi that my fondest wish for Tynion is that he be kept far, far away from Dick’s character whenever possible. And I’m pretty sure Tom King claims he loves all these characters and we’re all like HAHAHHAHA and we know Lobdell insists he loves Jason Todd and its like wow how curious then that hardly any other Jason Todd stans love you.

The ironic thing about my random bouts of ugh Snyder in a lot of posts however, is that......tbh, its not even his depiction of Dick that makes me dislike him as much as I do? LMAO. I mean, I’m not a fan of it personally, for a lot of the reasons you mentioned, but I don’t like a lot most canon writers’ depiction of Dick these days and haven’t for years. The thing I really dislike Snyder for, personally, is his depiction of Damian.

Its just.....its very Not Good, a lot of the time. Oh, there are moments here and there, but you could claim that for any writer, really, but for the most part, like.....ooof, I haven’t read Snyder’s work on Damian recently enough to really cite specific moments off the top of my head, because I’ve been avoiding anywhere he’s writing Damian for awhile now BECAUSE of it, but....a LOT of the ‘demon brat’ shit in regards to Damian comes from Snyder’s work, and like, I’m always kinda like “hey is making Demon anything the go-to nickname for a kid of Arab descent who is already compared to a terrorist enough as it is like....really the best we can do” to begin with, and Snyder absolutely 100% does not help with that.

To be fair, its not remotely like its all just on him, the stuff that has had a lot of us complaining for years about the blood son crap and the insistence on acting like there’s this stark divide between Bruce and Damian and the rest of the Bat siblings, I mean, see: Tom King again, its just. Ugh, okay, Im gonna have to get back to this in the near future with actually sourced gripes about why I think Snyder’s Damian in particular is absolute crap and could he just not, though. Because it really is my chief complaint with him, like I was never gonna be a fan of his in general just because he’s someone who's like DARK MULTIVERSE BATMAN FUCK YEAH and I’m someone who’s like DARK MULTIVERSE BATMAN UGH FUCK WHY.....lol....BUT like I mention in other posts.....its not like he’s incapable of doing decent stuff or that he’s never written anything I like, because ironically, he IS the biggest canon backer of Duke Thomas and pretty much single-handedly responsible for Duke retaining as much of a presence as he has in recent years instead of just appearing and blipping out of existence like a one-hit wonder, and that can’t be overlooked or considered inconsequential.

That just also kinda makes it all the more annoying that his Damian is so very.....objectionable to me, but yeah. Anyway, that’s the curious case of my very mixed feelings on Scott Snyder, with a side dish of generalized “lol oh, so you do in fact love this character? Well magically all my criticisms of your take on them have now disappeared!”

[thecomicsnexus]

The Case of The Chemical Syndicate

DETECTIVE COMICS #27 MAY 1939 BY BILL FINGER, BOB KANE, JERRY SIEGEL, JOE SHUSTER, JIM CHAMBER AND CHARLES BIRO

SYNOPSIS (FROM DC WIKIA)

Commissioner Gordon relaxes at home entertaining his young socialite friend Bruce Wayne. Wayne asks if anything exciting has happened lately, and Gordon explains that a fellow called the "Bat-Man" is puzzling him. Gordon receives a call that chemical manufacturer Lambert has been found murdered. They have Lambert's son in custody, whose fingerprints were found on the knife. Gordon invites Bruce Wayne to the Lambert mansion with him, and Bruce Wayne says he has nothing better to do.

When they arrive at the crime scene, young Lambert insists he is innocent. The lad explains that he arrived home early and saw his father lying on the floor. When he entered the library, he saw a figure escaping out the window. He pulled a knife out of his father's back, and his father's last word was "contract." Lambert's son recalls that his father had three associates, Alfred Stryker, Paul Rogers, and Steve Crane. Steve Crane calls Gordon on the phone. Lambert told Crane that he had received a death threat the previous day. Crane has received a similar death threat, and asks for police protection. Bruce Wayne decides to go home, and Gordon rushes over to the Crane residence.

Steven Crane is killed by a gunman who enters through the window. The thug and his partner steal a paper from Crane and climb onto the roof. They are confronted by a figure they recognize as the Bat-Man, standing in the moonlight. The Bat-Man punches the first thug out, then grabs the second one in a headlock and throws him off the second-story roof. He grabs the paper and escapes as Gordon is pulling up. The GCPD try to arrest the Bat-Man, but they are unable to catch him. Gordon learns that Crane has been murdered, and moves on to the next business partner. The Bat-Man smiles when he reads the paper he stole, and drives off in his automobile.

Paul Rogers visits the laboratory of Alfred Stryker, having learned of Lambert's death by news broadcast. Stryker's assistant Jennings clubs Rogers over the head and ties him up. Jennings explains that he will lower a gas chamber over Rogers and kill him the same way he puts animals to sleep. Jennings leaves to activate the gas. The Bat-Man leaps into the room through an open transom. The Bat-Man grabs a wrench and dives inside the gas chamber before it closes.

He plugs the gas jet with a handkerchief, and busts through the glass with his wrench. Jennings returns and tries to pull a gun on the Bat-Man, but the Bat-Man punches him in the face really hard. Alfred Stryker enters and demands to know what happened. When Rogers explains that Jennings tried to kill him, Stryker pulls out a knife to finish the job. The Bat-Man is hiding in the shadows, and he grabs Stryker from behind to stop him. The Bat-Man explains to Rogers that they were all partners in the Apex Chemical Corporation. Stryker had made secret contracts with all of them to pay them a sum of money each year until he owned the business. He grew tired of waiting and decided to kill them so he wouldn't have to pay. Stryker breaks out of the Bat-Man's grip and pulls a gun on him. The Bat-Man punches Stryker so hard in the face that Stryker breaks through a railing and falls into a tank of acid. The Bat-Man remarks that this is a fitting end for his kind, and leaves via transom. Rogers tries to thank the Bat-Man, but he is already gone.

Later at his house, Commissioner Gordon relates this story to Bruce Wayne. Bruce remarks that this is a lovely fairy tale, and leaves. Gordon thinks to himself that Bruce Wayne is a nice young chap, but he seems to lead a very boring life. Bruce returns home to Wayne Manor, where it's revealed that he is in fact the Bat-Man.

CONTEXT

There is a lot of bad blood behind this creation, so stay with me and we shall go through this...

So the legend says that Bob Kane created Batman when he was a minor and with the help of writer Bill Finger they did the story that was published in Detective Comics. And that is just a legend.

It’s hard to tell if Kane was a minor when he signed his contract to National. He was born in 1915, and that would make him 20 at the time National/Wheeler-Nicholson started the business. We know for sure he wasn’t the “creator” of Batman.

Comics historian Ron Goulart has referred to Batman as the "creation of artist Bob Kane and writer Bill Finger". Bill Finger said this about Bob Kane:

Kane had an idea for a character called 'Batman', and he'd like me to see the drawings. I went over to Kane's, and he had drawn a character who looked very much like Superman with kind of ... reddish tights, I believe, with boots ... no gloves, no gauntlets ... with a small Domino Mask, swinging on a rope. He had two stiff wings that were sticking out, looking like bat wings. And under it was a big sign ... BATMAN.

Finger offered such suggestions as giving the character a cowl instead of the domino mask, a cape instead of wings, adding gloves, and removing the red sections from the original costume. He later said his suggestions were influenced by Lee Falk's popular The Phantom, a syndicated newspaper comic strip character with which Kane was familiar as well, Finger named the character Bruce Wayne after Robert Bruce the Scottish Patriot.

Bob Kane said (and I quote): 

"Bill Finger was a contributing force on Batman right from the beginning... I made Batman a superhero-vigilante when I first created him. Bill turned him into a scientific detective."

Finger wrote both the initial script for Batman's debut in Detective Comics #27 (May 1939) and the character's second appearance, while Kane provided art. Artist Bob Kane negotiated a contract with National Comics, the future DC Comics, that signed away ownership of the character in exchange for, among other compensations, a mandatory byline on all Batman comics (and adaptations thereof). Finger's name, in contrast, does not appear as an official credit on Batman stories or films, even the comics he wrote in the 1940s and 1950s.

To make Bob Kane more of a controversial figure, when Jerry Siegel and Joe Shuster were looking for allies against the way National Comics was treating them, they went to Bob Kane, who betrayed them and at the same time re-negotiated his contract (as, like it was mentioned before, it wasn’t legal).

There is a documentary named “Batman & Bill”, that chronicles how Bill Finger created a legend and died penniless and forgotten, and how Finger's heirs, along with writer Marc Tyler Nobleman, finally righted this wrong. It also shines a light on the systemic injustices in Golden Age and Silver Age comics publishing, in which many other brilliant creators were shafted. 

The documentary’s most compelling when it focuses on the relationship between Kane and Finger, two men who couldn't have been more different. Kane, who died in 1998, was a brash, boastful figure, one who saw his creation—and its popularity—as an extension of himself. A classic showman, he greeted fans wearing sharp suits or Bat-cowls, sold original oil paintings of Bats (which the documentary claims were painted by other artists), and wrote a grandiose autobiography. Even when he wasn't around fans, he preened; the documentary makes much of archival footage and audio recordings of Kane extolling his own genius. Bill Finger, on the other hand, obsessively researched weird facts, and kept a giant notebook full of scraps and notes that he could use in the next Batman comic—information gleaned from riding the bus for hours on end, staring out at the city and recording what he saw. Batman's tragic backstory sprang from his own dark imagination, as did most of the hero’s other defining traits, and even feverish gimmicks like having Batman fight on giant typewriters or dodge giant pennies. But that creativity came with isolation: He made only one appearance at a 1965 convention, and did almost no interviews.

So yes, these days DC found a loophole (I suppose) and even though they still add the byline of “Created by Bob Kane”, they modified it to “Created by Bob Kane with Bill Finger”. I understand this was agreed by the Kane estate.

I think this Ty Templeton comic pretty much encapsulates the Batman created by Bob Kane...

REVIEW

A small synopsis for the other features I am following here. Crimson Avenger is dealing with a mysterious gambling-related murder. Bart Regan is trying to prevent the assassination of all the partners in a company (almost like the Batman story). And Slam Bradley is looking for his federal agent friend who went missing in Switzerland.

Of course the main attraction here is Batman, but I should put some emphasis on how the other features are changing and getting a bit more serious.

The Batman story has been remade several times, so this is not my favorite version of it. However, it is amazing that so many details of the Batman we know today are there already. And it feels too obvious for us, but the reveal at the end that Bruce Wayne is Batman may have been a mind-blower at the time.

I could go on and on about the many things in Batman’s style, but there are too many sources you can check about those.

Happy 80th anniversary, Batman!

I give the stories a score of 8

#bob kane #batman80 #batman #dc comics #national comics #dc #comics #review #1939 #golden age #detective comics #slam bradley #spy #crimson avenger

[vivi-tran]

Problematic Disclaimers

I am incredibly biased towards David Fincher’s work, and that in itself comes with a few other more specific disclaimers we’ll get into later on in this review.

This is a largely historical piece, taking place during the 1970s-80s. If you’re looking for groundbreaking representation for POC/LGBT+/female characters, you may be disappointed.

This show famously deals with the analyses of behavioral science, specifically in dealing with serial killers. This kind of subject matter can be tricky: it’s one thing to be intellectually fascinated by the psychological aspects of these cases, and another thing entirely to sympathize or rationalize these murderers. Mindhunter, of course, makes this type of tightrope act the centerpiece of their story. However, real life serial killers are depicted and dramatized in the show. This could ultimately play into the kind of dangerous romanticizations the show attempts to subvert.

I encourage audiences who correctly assess the character of Holden (Jonathon Groff) as a pretentious shithead to watch till the end.

You could probably make the argument that this series is riddled with ableism. Given, again, the historical background of these analyses, however, mental illness is not something assumed to be well understood in this context. But how we should approach mental illness in storytelling such as this is not my area of expertise, and I am open to anyone bridging that gap for me if I’m being too tone deaf in that respect.

Trigger Warnings

The only instance of gore that you see actually happen in real time is in the first scene of the first episode.

This show is about researching serial killers. There is blunt and often irreverent discussion about murder, gore, torture, masturbation, incest, pedophilia, and sexual violence. 

Even protagonists who are regarded as the “good guys” in this show are expected to put on a front in order to coax information out of their serial killer interviewees. Lewd, inappropriate, and disrespectful language is used in these contexts.

Some nudity and sex scenes. 

Drawings and photography of violent images from serial killers’ case files are shown.

Final Verdict: I loved this show.

As to be expected with a story of this subject matter, there’s a lot of ground to cover with disclaimers and triggers. This is exactly the kind of taboo audiences love to indulge in at a distance, telling each other that it’s the psychology of examining a serial murderer that makes these sorts of films and shows so exciting. But these dark and horrendous accounts, interesting as they may be to so many viewers, have to come with a certain amount of responsibility.

This is something I realized with a cold flush while in vacation in Los Angeles, perusing the Museum of Death. I examined a series of figurines modeled after a number of real life serial killers such as Charles Manson and John Wayne Gacy. I tried to imagine what kind of mindset drives a person to buy these kinds of collectibles, much less manufacture them for purchase. 

Putting such a far distance from these murderers and placing our attractions in the same realm as a hobby takes away from the true horror of what these criminals have done. There’s a line between wanting to learn more and becoming part of a subculture that turns monsters into celebrities. 

Luckily for us, that is exactly what Mindhunter addresses.

The story begins with bright-eyed bushy-tailed young FBI agent, Holden Ford. Ford, initially specializing in hostage negotiation, is discouraged by a recent failed case. Behavioral science calls to him, and in pursuing this trade he joins forces with FBI agent Bill Tench (Holt McCallany) and psychologist Wendy Carr (Anna Torv). Together they pioneer a new wave of behavioral science methods in order to better understand the way these murderers think, and, ideally, find them before they can take any more victims.

As I said before, engrossment in this field of study is, as I have come to recognize it, not uncommon. The rise of a show like Criminal Minds, a prime time television series dedicated to the analysis and capture of fictional serial killers, is a strong indication of this. Most of us would find it difficult to wrap our heads around the idea of somebody with such perverse and twisted desires to be as mundane as you or me. We form this distance maybe to avoid the other side of this obsession that the living can afford: that it could have been us. Because it is far easier to gawk at a monstrous form of evil, than to imagine ourselves as their victim.

Mindhunter attacks this line of thinking at its origins and its source. Based on a book by the same name that details the true events of real FBI investigations, the show uses fictional stand-ins to perhaps convey more dramatic representation of these ideas. But I haven’t read the book, so this is just speculation. 

I mentioned in the disclaimers that our supposed hero of this tale, Holden Ford, explicitly presents himself as an utter jackass. Nothing drives the point home harder than Ford’s development which sees his confident rise and his perplexing downfall. Like many rookies in your stereotypical crime story, Ford wants results. He wants to make a difference, and he wants to see the fruits of his efforts now. He thinks that by acting on instinct and asserting himself, he can change everything around him to his favor. This kind of brazen naivety is nothing new and also not inherently wrong. It’s Ford’s intentions, however, that complicate things.

“Why are you here, Holden?” “I don’t know.”

What starts out as a justified practice meant to stop serial killers in their tracks becomes a battle of the minds where Holden Ford manages to put himself on top time and time again. And yet, even after outmaneuvering and coercing valuable information out of several different murderers, Ford’s life crumbles around him. His long-term girlfriend leaves him, he is formally reprimanded by his superiors for his actions, he confronts the consequences to his impulsiveness, and a tell-tale press release puts an almost complete halt to his investigations. 

The first season ends as Holden Ford hits rock bottom. We realize, seeing him fall this far from grace, that by jumping through all these intellectual hoops in order to get the information he so desperately craves, Ford has played right into the hands of some of the most notorious serial killers in history. He’s in too deep. In his hubris, he placed himself so far above these murderers in his own mind because he believes what he is doing is for the sake of justice, that he actually sunk down to their level.

It probably isn’t too difficult to see this progression throughout the first season. We, as the audience, start out rooting for Ford. Yes! We should study these serial killers and put clearer terms to their behavior in order to catch these criminals early on in the game. Horrid as their crimes are, they are actual human beings and as such we need to understand what went wrong as well as when and where. And then Ford’s behavior becomes deplorable, cringey both in and out of interviews. The show poses the question: is it worth it to stoop so low so as to gather this information?

And in reverberating response, the show also answers in the same breath: no.

In some instances, we are drawn to resent characters like Tench and Carr when their bureaucracy stands in the way of Ford’s justice. But, ultimately, Ford becomes unhinged as he learns that by trying to locomotive his way into success, he has shrunk that distance I had previously stressed and learns he has never been fully in control. 

The moral comes effortlessly enough. And while he isn’t the sole director or writer for Mindhunter, we see this kind of thing a lot in David Fincher’s work: well-intentioned men being crushed by a weight they did not take the time to fully grasp in scope, all under the guise of something thrilling and grisly. Fincher’s most famous work, Fight Club, is perhaps one of the most widely misinterpreted pieces of film in cinematic history thanks to every knee-jerk reaction-having male who came out of those theaters wanting to start their own fight club or project mayhem. Fincher himself has advised his own daughter from associating with young men who romanticize the movie. Fincher takes on these topics all the time. I’m having trouble finding the interview that cites this, and I’ll update this post if I find it, but there has been a point in his career where Fincher has been accused of producing torture porn. But this brings me to the meat of what I love about this series.

Mindhunter is told masterfully. The most disturbing and action-packed part of the show is at the very beginning of the first episode when Holden Ford is trying to talk down a man at the forefront of a hostage situation. But, even then, the way the situation is presented is crude and somewhat sad - you immediately understand there is an inherent problem with how criminals with complex mental faculties are treated and handled from this opening scene. After that? The most unnerving images are shown in photographs and drawings, but never played out for the audience. In fact, when was the last time you saw Fincher play out half the gore he alludes to in his films aside from Fight Club? And thus we can be certain this show was not made for the serial killers, but for us. This is a cautionary tale. There’s no reason to show the whole terrible ordeal - just the effects.

At no point did I feel this series was dragging on either. You forget that what you’re watching is mostly comprised of dialogue. There’s no compulsion to show exploitive material. The characters and their responses compel the story forward. You don’t need a SWAT team to break down an unsub’s door and catch the perpetrator mid-dynamic-action. You’re already amongst some of the most ruthless real-life villains in our country’s history. Anything more than that would be jarring. This is not a show for the serial killers. This is a show for how we react to such a tragic brand of evil, or how we should react. It needs to be said because it’s important that we tell the difference.

In the disclaimers, I also mentioned there being little to no ample representation for POC/LGBT+/female characters. While I don’t necessarily retract that statement, I do need to point out that we are given two supporting female characters in the series who play a significant role in both the story and Holden Ford’s life. The first we see is Debbie (Hannah Gross), Ford’s long term girlfriend. Debbie is a smart, independent woman who is able to banter intellectually with Ford and initially finds his thirst for knowledge to be charming. Gross does a wonderful job with this character, but I felt she wasn’t fully done the justice she deserved, especially when she abruptly displayed disloyalty that was never actually addressed in one of the episodes. Had it not been for this scene, it wouldn’t be as obvious that she was probably just a placeholder made to show all the aspects in which Ford’s life was falling apart. 

More prominent than Debbie is Wendy Carr, a well-established psychologist as well as a lesbian. Carr is perhaps the better-written of the two female figures, being decisively driven by her own moral compass and toting the kind of calculating patience that Ford could have afforded to learn from. Torv plays the kind of character we never question, that we trust, that we know is making the most diplomatic calls possible. And even here, I am left wanting more out of her story, out of where she found herself towards the end of the first season other than just a ghost of Ford’s consequences.

Maybe it is for personal reasons that I felt the need to praise this show for distinguishing the difference between feeding a killer’s ego and not losing sight of what is truly important under these investigations. Maybe I am just a fanatic for whatever Fincher touches. And to be sure, it certainly does have his trademark cinematic touch - from seamless and compelling editing to the intense portraits of its characters. But, in any case, this show far exceeded my expectations in its mindful storytelling and is an important piece in a society obsessed with the grotesque.

#reviews #mindhunter #mindhunter review #tv reviews #review #david fincher #film #tv

[phantomthread]

do you know of any movies or music ddl likes?

Thank you anon for sending this question back. I think I mayhave accidentally deleted the first ask since I couldn’t find it in my drafts or myqueue and for that I am so sorry. I love this question because it gives me the opportunityto do some research and discover/rediscover many things about him. However thistask turned out to be harder than I thought since my memory is blurry, mybookmarking system is messy and DDL’s retirement news pretty much drowned many specific articles that I’m looking for.

MOVIES

Daniel Day-Lewis is a film fanatic. He loves wandering intoa cinema and taking pot luck with whatever is on (I laughed whenever peopletweeted they thought they just saw DDL queued behind them at movies). He loves even bad movies and likes to analyze thework of actors past and present. However, I don’t think I’ve ever seen the listof his favorite films although he always talks passionately about thosewhose work he most admires like Montgomery Clift and Charles Laughton. So I gatheredsome pieces from his interviews and articles and hopefully it will give yousome insight into what kind of films DDL likes.  

He is intrigued by all kinds of performances.

DDL reveres the greats likeMarlon Brando and Robert De Niro. He dislikes John Wayne, loves Gary Cooper andprefers the Jimmy Stewart of Capra’s classic pictures to the Stewart of AnthonyMann’s westerns.

He saw Taxi Driver at least five times when it firstcame out.

In 1976, when he was 19,Daniel Day-Lewis saw Taxi Driver.

“It was a real illumination. Isaw Taxi Driver five or six times in the first week, and I was astonished byits sheer visceral beauty. I just kept going back – I didn’t know America, butthat was a glimpse of what America might be, and I realised that, contrary toexpectation, I wanted to tell American stories.”

He is fascinated by Clint Eastwood.

“I used to go to all-nightscreenings of his movies. I’d stagger out at 5 in the morning, trying to beloose-limbed and mean and taciturn.”

Ken Loach is the biggest influence in his life.

“I am rather surprised that Ihaven’t made more stories about my own country but it is a mistake to suggestthat the biggest influence on my life in terms of movies has been America. Itwas and remains Ken Loach and his whole body of work, not that I have everworked with him. There is something unique and pure about the way he works,without a taint on it. His beliefs have remained unwavering since he made CathyCome Home.”

He gave Carey Mulligan a personal note for the movieAn Education.

When describing the gift from Daniel Day-Lewis, sheexplains:

“He wrote me this beautiful handwritten note a couple weeks afterwards just saying how nice it was to meet me andthat he’d like An Education. His penmanship was beautiful. The note was themost beautiful thing. If my house was burning down, I would save that. It is soprecious.”

“If….” is his major earlyinfluence 

When asked about a movie he saw when he was young that made himsay, “This is what I’ve got to do with my life”, Daniel mentioned seeing themovie “If…” about a rebellion at a British boarding school, withMalcolm McDowell.

“Certainly that was a very important moment, but not just because of Malcolm inthat film. It was partly because I was at aboarding school at the time, and if I could have got away with setting fire tothe place, I would have done it. And he created a banner around which all theoutcasts rallied, and so that film was a big influence.” 

 MUSIC

Some of these are really shocking since it’s hard to imaginewhat kind of music DDL listens to so prepare yourself.

Eminem

This is one of my favorite DDL’s legendary tales. For Gangsof New York, DDL listened to the music of Eminem to get intohis character, the infamously violent leader of the Natives gang, Bill theButcher.

“Yes, every morning around five, especially the song“The Way I Am.” I’ve admired him for a while. I’m always on thelookout for music that might be helpful to a role. It bypasses the intellect ina particular way. With this film, I realized I was listening to Eminem morethan usual.”

Classical music

He listens to Bach.

Folk music

In one interview, whiledriving up the Wicklow Mountains, DDL slid a CD of Irish folk music bythe band Planxty into the sound system, and the writer said the car was filledwith layers of mandolins and guitars while DDL said:

“Nothing I say will be more eloquent than this music.” 

(he loves not talking during interview) ;D

Snoop Dogg

This is the transcript from an interview with DDL back in2003.

Q: What other music have you used to prepare for roles?DDL: SinéadO'Connor certainly has helped me. Bach. Nirvana. Snoop Dogg.

Q: That’s funny, I’m interviewing him tomorrow.DDL: Are you! Will you, from this great distance, pay my respects? He won’tknow who the fuck I am, but I think he’s very cool.

Jimi Hendrix

This is coming from his first son with Isabelle Adjani, Gabriel-KaneDay-Lewis:

“The first album I ever listened to was ‘Purple Haze’ byJimi Hendrix; my dad gave it to me on my tenth birthday. My mom flippedout! I know there’s a lot of sex, drugs, and rock & roll all incorporatedin his music, but there’s something I loved about that kind of rock & roll.It was so raw, and so authentic — it really spoke to me. My music is definitelysoul, folk-oriented, and acoustic, though. “

We also knew he went to Adele concert with his son 

andto Bruce Springsteen’s as well and hung out with him in Italy with Steven Spielberg. 

#daniel day lewis #gabriel kane day lewis #anonymous #ask #there's a few i'm forgetting #i think he once mentioned someone #to someone else #and was like listen to this #this person is the greatest artists alive #or something #i can't remember who #and it's impossible to google search

[newagesispage]

                                                                  NOVEMBER         2017

 *****Bill Murray has been singing at Carnegie Hall promoting the new album with Jan Vogler and friends.

*****A beautiful eastern black rhino was born on October 2nd. There are only a few hundred left in Africa.

*****NASA just found 20 new habitable planets.

*****Loving , loving ,loving At Home with Amy Sedaris. Great guest stars and Von Mueller’s: The official maple syrup of the Third Reich and other humor of that ilk. It is like Pee Wees playhouse, Mister Rogers, Martha Stewart, local DIY shows, SNL and SCTV all rolled into one. Go Amy!!

*****The World Series did not include the Cubs. Astros V Dodgers.

*****The first African American full time Nascar driver since 1971, Darrell Wallace Jr. will drive for Richard Petty.

*****Some drunks at a wedding reception in Illinois jumped the fence at Wildlife Prairie Park to chase bison. The newlyweds had already left.

*****San Juan mayor Carmen Yulin Cruz called out Scary clown for his slow response to the Puerto Rico disaster.

*****Coming to Broadway this fall: The Cher Show!!

*****Robin Thede has a new show on BET called The Rundown.

*****So, Tim Allen was whining on Norm Macdonald’s program about Last Man Standing being cancelled. Allen said, ”There is nothing more dangerous to Hollywood than a funny likeable conservative.” What?? I could not even get thru one episode of that show. I think he was damn lucky that thing stayed on the air as long as it did. Friends and I were shocked whenever we would notice the show was still going.

***** Trump released demands to overhaul the green card system by hiring 10 thousand more immigration officers and more money to build the wall.

*****OJ Simpson is out of prison and his first meal was at McDonald’s. That is so fucking American.** Speaking of the arches: Mulan sauce.. that was a thing?

*****On the great new show White Famous, I believe I saw Jamie Foxx’s balls under that skirt!!

*****Stephen Colbert and Ted Danson share an ancestor. The same is true of Mary Steenburgen and William H. Macy.

*****Ines Rau, a French model is Playboys first transgender playmate.

*****Things sure exploded on The View because of the phone call Trump made about a fallen soldier. Rep. Frederica Wilson claims that he did not mention La David Johnson’s name and told his widow that he knew what he was getting into. **He seems to have no sensitivity but then we knew that. He is the Greg Stillson of 2017!

*****What a great couple of weeks on the late night shows. Thank you for Conan and his horse story on Colbert. Thanks for Paul and Dave and Biff on Kimmel. ** Kimmel’s son Billy is getting ready for a second surgery and there will be some guest hosts with Shaq, Dave Grohl, Channing Tatum and Jennifer Lawrence.

*****David S. Pumpkins now has an animated show and has really become a thing.

*****Dale Earnhardt Jr. and wife are having a baby.

*****It looks like the Czech Republic now elected a leader just like Trump in their choice of Andrej Babis.

*****Russian sanctions have still not been implemented and the deadline was October 1. Hey scary clown: Just signing the measure means nothing!!

*****Diane Lake, a young former member of Manson’s family wrote a book about letting go of Charlie. She promoted ‘One of the Family’ on Dr. Phil.

*****So.. It seems that the prototypes of the wall are near the Mexican border and it is drawing gawkers from across the border. So.. The wall to prevent illegals is actually drawing them to the site to check it out. Priceless.

*****Judas Priest is going on tour.

*****Mark Wahlberg hopes God will forgive him for Boogie Nights. C’mon own your fucking art.. You were lucky to be in suck a brilliant film.

*****Dave Letterman received his Mark Twain prize for American humor on October 22. He now claims, “I’m now the most humorous person in the world.”

*****East Peoria’s Joe Girardi is out as the NY Yankees manager.

*****Her it comes: The final season of Major Crimes.. This is a tough one, what quality acting there is on that show.

*****Days alert: It breaks my heart that they brought back Dr. Rolf back and immediately killed him off. At least he was in Abigail’s dream and boy was he hairy!!Please let him have a twin like on Night Court.** Why are characters heading to Memphis? Will they meet with someone who can help answer questions about Will Horton? Will Paul find out the truth before anyone else and will he keep it to himself? If Will is alive, is he the same person or has he went thru big changes? ** Rumors are out there that EJ could be headed back..fingers crossed.

*****Texas inmates donated $53,863 for hurricane Harvey relief.

*****Has Mueller filed his first charges in the Russia investigation?

*****Trump’s approach to Iran seems to be undoing all of Obama’s efforts. This, of course is the ultimate goal of the Trumpers so good news for them. Trumps use of the term ’Arabian gulf’ has helped to unify the diplomatic and revolutionary sides of the Islamic republic.

*****Too Funny to Fail takes on the subject of the failure of The Dana Carvey Show.

*****Robert Plant has a new album, ‘Carry Fire’ which he will support with a 2018 tour.

*****Congress did not reauthorize the healthcare program for kids so 9 million kids are booted off healthcare.

*****Bob’s Burgers did a great episode about brunch drunks. Oh that is such a thing!!

*****The new administration just loves pollution. Just one more thing to add to the ever growing list of climate change dismantling is Scott Pruitt helping to get rid of the clean power plan. I am sure their corporate polluter friends and Obama haters are pretty happy about that.

*****Scarlett Johansen and Colin Jost made their first public appearance as a couple at an SNL after party.

*****Word is that they have found Paul Revere’s outhouse and they are examining its contents.

*****I’m so glad that Curb is back!!! J.B. Smoove is killing it as usual.

*****Roman Polanski has a new film, ‘Based on a true story’ which stars his wife Emmanuelle Seigner.

*****Metamora High school in Illinois is reeling from a racist video put out by some members of the football team.  The entire school system of Metamora which includes Riverview and Germantown hills was closed October 3 due to a mass shooting scare.

*****The newest Eastwood film is the 15:17 to Paris.

*****Facebook had to turn over about 3,000 ads for inspection. Facebook employees offered themselves up to the Trump and Clinton campaigns. Only Trump took them up on it. Google and Twitter also embedded themselves in his campaign.  The staff used all they were taught to put bogus Hillary info out there and penetrate the rural vote.  They pushed a lot of buttons with infrastructure in middle America. The platform churned out 50 to 60 thousand ads a day.  By pinpointing the things you care about most , they seemed to use the trickery well because it worked.

*****They found the tomb of Santa in Turkey.

*****Nick Cage has his own candy bar in Japan.

*****Chris Elliott is on the Last man on earth. Thank you God!

*****The country talked about guns for a few days again after the Vegas shooting. No license or registration is needed in Vegas. Machine guns are perfectly legal. As saner people have mentioned: The GOP insists that the Vegas shooter’s gun arsenal is a right but medical treatment for his 500 + victims is merely a privelage. Well put Desirina Boskovich.** The American college of physicians says that gun violence is a public health issue and calls for banning automatic and semi -automatic weapons.** 78% of Americans don’t own guns.**Wayne LaPierre was on Face the Nation to reinforce that anti -gun people are elites. The only sane thing he said was that we need to enforce the laws we have in place better to start with.

*****Sen. Bob Corker is ranting about Trump and the ‘adult day care center’ we call the White house.

***** Oh my God.. Rick Springfield is on AHS. Whoa! Sometimes that show just amazes you with its direction. Hell yea.

*****Brett Ratner and Jared Leto will bring Hugh Hefner to the big screen.

*****Jedediah Bila has left the View and has been replaced by Meghan McCain.

*****Colin Kaepernick consulted a Navy seal about his peaceful protest. The Seal told him that he didn’t see a problem with the kneeling at the games. He found it more respectful than sitting. People seem very divided on this issue  but this country has always disagreed on their version of patriotism. Wearing the flag s disrespectful, kneeling during our anthem is not. Perhaps the players should hold AR 15’s instead of taking a knee. Our President does not seem to have a problem with protesters showing up armed.**Pence made a big show of walking out of the game after the kneel. Only loves the team if they think as he does. It was an expensive stunt.

*****California has been experiencing the biggest wildfires in state history.

***** Hmm. I see a movie with Liam Neeson , Clint Eastwood and Kurt Russell.

***** The Pioneer Woman speaks of a granny named Inee.

*****So, I rarely watch Fallon but that Hillary show was awkward and special. The respect and beautiful words from the female writers and Miley brought tears.

*****Can’t wait to see Suburbicon.. looks fab!!

*****350 barrels of oil were spilled in the gulf of Mexico.

*****Reporters were arrested in St. Louis as they interviewed demonstrators. This is in violation of their first amendment.

*****Anti- abortion advocate Rep. Tim Murphy had a bad week as congress was trying to pass a bill that would ban and bring criminal charges against those who have abortions after 20 weeks. His mistress Shannon Edwards claims that he asked her to get an abortion but it turned out the pregnancy was just a scare.  He now says that it is his staff who wrote the pro- life rhetoric he spewed. He has resigned.**Scary clown wants to broaden the rules to let more employees deny birth control coverage.

*****The Rolling Stones have 18 recordings pulled together for On Air. The collection of 1963- 1965 BBC show clips were never commercially released.

***** Harvey Weinstein? Secret employees? Everybody knew?  WTF?  Obviously we have some extreme self indulgence and mental health issues here. Why can’t powerful men control themselves? **Many of the liberal donations he made have been donated to charity.** The list keeps growing with thanks to Ronan Farrow and his exhaustive work in the story on The New Yorker. Weinstein’s wife has left him so he is in for some shit. ** More women are coming forward about other powerful men as well like R Kelly, Mark Helprin and James Toback.** When the movie is made of the Harvey scandal, I hope they cast Jeff Garland in the title role.**In the wake of the Weinstein tsunami there have been protests at public gatherings for other men with pasts .A retrospective for Roman Polanski  did not turn out so well.

*****Meet the Press and the AFI are having  film fest. Look for the film Heroin(e).

*****Paul Manafort and Rick Gates were indicted for hiding foreign bank accounts, money laundering, false statements, conspiracy against the U.S. just to name a few. There is now a viral video with the music from To Russia with love that shows Trump and various staff being taken in by the FBI. I teared up.. Could it happen??** George Papadopolous has pled guilty.

*****Kathy Griffin is slamming Harvey Levin and Andy Cohen. She claims that Levin was egging people on about her Trump head stunt. Her Mother in a retirement community and her sister dyeing of cancer were receiving death threats. Cohen who produced her ‘My life on the D-list” is taking over her New Year duties on CNN.  Her claim about him is he often tried to get her do coke and he is generally an ass.

*****Actor Anthony Rapp claims Kevin Spacey was sexually aggressive with him when he was 14 and Spacey was in his 20’s.  Kevin denied and apologized and came out.

***** You must check out Denis O’Hare as Edgar Allan Poe on PBS American Masters.

*****Corey Feldman wants to expose the pedophiles of Hollywood for 10 mil.

*****Does it bother anybody else that those on cooking shows never seem to use spatulas to scrape the bowl? They pour and move on.

*****Check out the Comedy Get Down with Cedric the Entertainer, Eddie Griffin, DL Hughley, Charlie Murphy and George Lopez.

*****Larry Flynt is offering 10m million for info leading to the impeachment of scary clown.

*****Ben Stiller takes on the 2015 prison escape of David Sweet and Richard Matt. The Showtime production will star Benecio Del Toro, Paul Dano and Patricia Arquette

*****Jemele Hill is back from her suspension form ESPN because of her tweets. Let the girl stand up for her beliefs.

*****Atlanta has voted to decriminalize weed, now if they can get the rest of Georgia on board!

***** So it seems the boy scouts are going to now admit girls.

*****It has been nice to see Charley Pride every now and again lately.

*****Hooray!! Jessica Tuck is on General Hospital.. Oh, How I have missed you Jessica Tuck.. Where have you been??

*****A report says that white nationalists are flocking to get their DNA tested  to prove their white heritage with some mixed results. Of course they often find they have African ancestry or other  blood they may not want to admit is running thru them. Duh!

*****Nellie (Cornell Iral Haynes Jr.)  was arrested for rape on his tour bus at a Wal Mart.

*****Chicago pastor Robbie Wilkerson and his wife Tasha were sentenced to 37 months and 12 months respectively for defrauding a summer food program for impoverished kids.

*****The 207 Nobel Peace Prize has gone to Jacques Dubochet and Joachim Frank and Richard Henderson for developing cryo-electron microscopy for the high resolution structure determination of biomolecules in solution.

*****Steven Avery of Making a Murderer has been denied a new trial.

*****Roseanne Cash is getting some backlash for her comments. Cash wrote, ”The NRA funds domestic terrorism.” Her life has been filled with threats because of her views with smears like, ”your Dad would be ashamed of you.” Some ‘fans’ obviously did not understand her Father.

*****The White house thinks NBC should apologize after their report about Rex Tillerson threatening to resign after clashes with Trump. The scuttlebutt is that Pence intervened. Word is that Tillerson called Trump a fucking moron. Rex says he never considered leaving.

*****Senate intelligence can’t seem to get anywhere on the Trump dossier because everyone refuses to cooperate.  The committee has reported they are still interviewing and going thru documents. The investigation is now in exploratory mode. They do know that Russia is currently active in meddling in our election process and our vote tallies were accurate. Republican members of the bipartisan panel are praising the Obama administration for their complete cooperation.

*****Marilyn Manson had to cancel 9 shows after being crushed by a stage prop!

*****R.I.P. Tom Petty, the victims of the Rt. 91 country music fest in Las Vegas, S.I. Newhouse Jr., Bunny Sigler, Ralphie May, Bob Schiller, Fats Domino, John F. Dunsworth, Robert Guillaume, Gord Downie, Richard Wilbur, Sima Wall, Jack Bannon and victims of the NY Halloween attack.

[classicfilmfreak]

New Post has been published on http://www.classicfilmfreak.com/2017/04/20/stagecoach-1939-starring-john-wayne-claire-trevor-and-thomas-mitchell/

Stagecoach (1939) starring John Wayne, Claire Trevor and Thomas Mitchell

“Now, folks, if we push on, we can be in Apache Wells by sundown. . . .  Then it’s only a hoot and a holler into Lordsburg.  We got four men who can handle firearms—five with you, Ringo.  Doc can shoot if sober.” — Marshal Curly Wilcox

Like a number of other films in Hollywood’s greatest year, 1939, Stagecoach has a number of distinctions that makes it one of the great American films—of America and in the spirit of Americana, drawing upon folklore and becoming, itself, a part of movie folklore.  While forever regarded as a “B” Western, mainly because of its low budget, it’s a label deemed unfair by many.  It’s much more than a “B” Western.

Stagecoach is director John Ford’s first sound Western, since at least two silent films, The Iron Horse (1924) and 3 Bad Men (1926), are of some distinction.  One of his greatest Westerns, period, Stagecoachis the first of seven he would film in Monument Valley.  “My favorite location,” he said in a 1964 interview.  “I feel at peace there.  I have been all over the world, but I consider this the most complete, beautiful and peaceful place on earth.”  Cheyenne Autumn (1964) would be his last Western, and the last filmed in the Valley.

This area of the eastern Utah-Arizona border became Ford’s trademark, and for a while respected as his personal property until other directors began borrowing the landscape.  The backdrop of Stagecoach’s main title is, in fact, Monument Valley, behind alternate views of Indian horsemen and the U.S. Cavalry on the move.  Then, the credits concluded, the evocative prehistoric stillness is broken by two men on horseback moving, though distantly, toward Bert Glennon’s camera.  Glennon shot a variety of Ford movies, including The Prisoner of Shark Island (1936), The Hurricane (1937) and Rio Grande (1950).  The stagecoach will traverse the Valley at least three times during the film.

In Stagecoach, Ford delineates the dangers for a group of disparate, and often desperate, passengers in a cross-country trip by stage.  For the Mormons in Wagon Master (1950), the means of transportation is covered wagons as they encounter stranded travelers, a lovely damsel, the expected bad guys and, of course, Indians.  Men move about mainly on horses in The Searchers (1956), both the isolated settlers and a lone horseman from the past who comes calling at a small prairie dwelling.

The West Ford portrays in these last three films had largely faded by 1962’s The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance, where the critical means of transportation, the railroad, symbolizes both the civilizing of the frontier and the annihilation of the West as folklore.  The film represents a darkening of the director’s view of his beloved West, and, mostly set-bound, Liberty is the only one of these four films not shot, partly or entirely, in Monument Valley.

The mention of John Ford implies, for all time it seems, John Wayne.  After seeing Wayne in Howard Hawks’ Red River (1948), Ford said, “I never knew the big son of a bitch could act.”  It was a typical “compliment” of the often cruel, sadistic director, and Wayne was, for him, a lifelong whipping boy.  Beyond the verbal abuse was a deeply embedded affection, and they made twenty-four films together, though, granted, not all are Westerns.  Wayne made a total of over eighty in the genre during his career, which began in 1926—not with a Western, however—and ended in 1976 with The Shootist, a Western which portrayed a West that, finally and irrevocably, had disappeared.

After years of making down-in-the dust “B” Westerns for Monogram and Mascot Pictures, though sometimes appearing in minor roles in “A” movies, Wayne made Stagecoach at “only” thirty-two, launching his career.  Even in Stagecoach, he takes second billing to Claire Trevor, the highest paid star in a cast that includes Thomas Mitchell, Andy Devine, John Carradine, Tim Holt, Hank Worden and Jack Pennick.  Most would become part of Ford’s stock company of favorite supporting players.

Stagecoach is an early version of The High and the Mighty (1954), Airport (1970), The Poseidon Adventure (1972), Murder on the Orient Express (1974) and many other films where a cross-section of society endures, and usually survives, possible peril on a long journey.  Or, in the likes of Grand Hotel(1932) and Separate Tables (1958), the location may be stationary, and while not necessarily implying physical danger, the equally confined occupants encounter their various phobias, anxieties and jealousies.

In the 1880s, six individuals board a stage in Arizona Territory for Lordsburg in New Mexico Territory.  Although, even by that time, the characters were time-worn clichés, the actors are so perfectly cast and their performances so polished that all handicaps are overcome.  It helped that Ford often scripted his films knowing in advance who would play the parts and matched the actors with the characters accordingly.

The main title is typically Fordian, full of American folks songs.  The tunes are “Bury Me Not on the Lone Prairie” and “Jennie with the Light Brown Hair,” with alternating views of Apache (actually Navajo) horsemen and the U.S. Cavalry on the move—and Indian drum-like music.  These and other such tunes will support most of the score.

When stagecoach driver Buck (Devine) informs the town marshal, Curley Wilcox (George Bancroft), that the shotgun guard is off tracking down the Ringo Kid (Wayne), who has escaped prison and is searching for Luke Plummer (Tom Tyler), the murderer of his father and brother, Wilcox volunteers to ride shotgun.

First of the passengers to board is a prostitute, Dallas (Trevor).  Being chased out of town by the ladies’ Law and Order League, she asks alcoholic physician Doc Boone (Mitchell) if the ladies can force her to leave.  Boone, who can’t pay his rent and has abandoned his office, says “We are the victims of a foul disease called social prejudice, my child.”

Arm in arm, they walk to the waiting stage, accompanied by one of John Ford’s favorite hymns, “Shall We Gather at the River?”  Usually rendered at his frequent movie funerals, it now appears in the soundtrack as a comic march, both a little risqué and slightly tipsy.

Also making the journey are whiskey salesman Samuel Peacock (Donald Meek) and a snobbish Easterner, the pregnant Lucy Mallory (Louise Platt), on the way to meet her military husband.

At the last moment, a Southerner, Hatfield (Carradine), boards after what he interprets as an inviting smile from Lucy.  Later, when Boone refers to his medical service in the recent Civil War as the “War of the Rebellion,” Hatfield corrects him: it is the “War for the Southern Confederacy.”

A cavalry unit led by Lieutenant Blanchard (Holt) arrives with news that Geronimo and the Apaches are on the warpath and that they will escort the stage to Lordsburg.  “Bury Me Not on the Lone Prairie” is the leitmotiv for shots of the stage crossing the landscape.

At the edge of town, banker Ellseworth Gatewood (Berton Churchill) flags down the stage.  He has stolen $50,000 from his own bank.

Further along the trail—eighteen minutes into the film—the Ringo Kid greets the stage with a single rifle shot.  (Although the scene is obviously in brush country, possibly Chatsworth, Los Angeles, the first view of Wayne twirling his rifle—a rapid tracking shot, ending in a close-up—is filmed against a process screen of Monument Valley.)  Ringo’s horse has gone lame.  Marshal Wilcox arrests him and asks for his rifle.  “You may need me and this Winchester,” Ringo says.  “Saw a ranch burin’ last night.”  He surrenders his rifle and sits on the floor of the already full coach.

At a stopover at Dry Fork, Mrs. Mallory resents eating with a prostitute, but Ringo sits beside Dallas.  Mrs. Mallory, Hatfield and Gatewood move to the other end of the table.  En route to Apache Wells, Mrs. Mallory further snubs Dallas’ concern for her health.  Hatfield offers her some water, but instead of giving her the canteen Wilcox passes down from the driver’s seat, he fills his folding silver cup for her.  Yet when Dallas asks for water, Hatfield extends the canteen.  So much for this Southern “gentleman.”

At Apache Wells, Mrs. Mallory learns that her husband has been wounded in battle and taken to Lordsburg.  She faints, inducing labor, and through his drunken stupor, Doc Boone delivers a baby girl.  Ringo asks Dallas to marry him.  She doesn’t reply, but the next morning she accepts.  Not wishing to leave Mrs. Mallory and the baby, she tells Ringo she’ll stay and meet him later.

Ringo escapes, but when he sees smoke signals, he returns to warn the stage passengers, who re-board and, now without the escorting cavalry unit, reach Lee’s Ferry.  The Apaches have killed the station-keeper and his family.  After crossing a river and believing they are safe, the travelers are attacked by the Indians.  An arrow enters the coach and strikes Peacock.

During the seven minutes as the Indians chase the coach, Buck is wounded and everyone soon runs out of ammunition.  Just as Hatfield is preparing to shoot Mrs. Mallory to spare her a ghastly death from the Indians, he is fatally shot.  At this moment the U.S. Sixth Cavalry arrives, and the stage continues on safely to Lordsburg.

The stagecoach chase would justify an exciting, fitting climax.  What could be better?  But John Ford must tie up the many loose ends in the remaining twenty minutes of film.  First, Mrs. Mallory learns her husband’s wounds are not serious and she thanks Dallas for taking care of her baby.  Peacock, who survived the arrow, invites everyone to his home in Kansas City.  Gatewood is arrested.  And Dallas, who hasn’t told Ringo about what she does for a living, leads him to her part of town.  He still wants to marry her.

But Ringo has one last thing to do.  Reminiscent of the central shootout in The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance—both at night—Ringo walks down the street toward Luke Plummer and his two brothers (Vester Pegg and Joe Rickson).  Their slow, edgy strides are underpinned by some actual original music.  As Ringo drops to the ground to fire, the film cuts to Dallas and only shots are heard.  “Ringo!  Ringo!  Ringo!” she cries.  Ford temporarily misleads the audience and shows an apparent triumphant Luke entering the saloon, only to collapse dead on the floor.  Ringo has killed all three of the Plummers.

Ringo, having given his word not to escape and expecting to end up in prison, returns to Wilcox.  Boone and Wilcox are waiting with a buckboard.  After Ringo has said good-bye to Dallas, the marshal suggests she might “like to ride a ways with the Kid.”  After Dallas climbs aboard, Boone and Wilcox throw rocks at the horses and shout, sending the two animals off at a gallop and giving Ringo his freedom and a presumed happy life with Dallas.

The signature trademark of Stagecoach is not the long coach chase by the Indians, however exciting and epoch-making it may be, but by its central stunt.  Yakima Canutt has two “performances” in the sequence.  In the more famous one, dressed as an Indian, he leaps from a running horse to the lead pair of animals in a six-horse team.  He is “shot” by Ringo, falls, grasps the harness and drags his feet between the two lead horses.  Ringo shoots again.  Canutt lets go of the harness and the horses and coach pass over him.

In his own words:

You have to run the horses fast (35- to 37 m.p.h.), so they’ll run straight.  If they run slow, they move around a lot.  When you turn loose to go under the coach, you’ve got to bring your arms over your chest and stomach.  You’ve got to hold your elbows close to your body, or that front axle will knock them off.

After the coach passes over him, he attempts to stand up, then falls and remains inert, to show a dummy hadn’t been used.  From the flat plain of Lucerne Dry Lake in the Mojave Desert, Canutt selected the hardest part, so that the coach wheels would sink as little as possible into the surface.

Of course, there’s the obvious question few viewers of Stagecoach seem to ask, one that exposes an obvious inaccuracy: Why didn’t the Apaches simply shoot the horses?!  “If they did that,” Ford once replied, “the picture would be over.”

English theater critic and writer Kenneth Tynan asked Orson Welles in 1967 which directors he most admired.  “The old masters,” he famously replied.  “By which I mean John Ford, John Ford and John Ford.”  If not compliment enough, Welles showed his high esteem for Ford by, he said, viewing Stagecoach forty times before beginning Citizen Kane (1941).  Ford’s influence is clearly seen in many aspects of Welles’ film, including those “original” shots of ceilings.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OE-VWDsdkwM

#Claire Trevor #John Ford #John Wayne #Thomas Mitchell