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#saudade ; milestone

risustravelogue · 8 months

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How Do I Know

Summary:

How do you know if you're in love with someone?

Featuring:

Alhaitham, friend!Kaveh, gn!Reader (they/them pronouns used)

Tone:

Crack-ish, fluff.

Note:

My second-half entry for @soleillunne's saudade milestone event! First half was written by @kazumist. I changed the capitalization, hope you don't mind >.< P.S. We love ourselves an idiot Haitham don't we lmao-

🔗 masterlist 🔗

What does it mean to fall in love?

No, scratch that.

How do you know if you’re in love with someone?

Alhaitham has been asking himself that question lately.

Believe him, he had never actually thought that much about love, and he had never fallen in love in his life. So it’s safe to say that yes, Alhaitham is pretty much an idiot when it comes to romance and the like.

Kaveh feels hopeless for him; he knows—hell, everyone knows at this point! You could just see it in how Alhaitham looks at you. There’s just something in his eyes that says it all for him. That he had helplessly fallen head over heels for you. Don’t even get his roommate started on how he’s been acting lately.

He and Alhaitham had a rule that they’d go on an alternative schedule for grocery shopping. But when it was Alhaitham’s turn, he had you tag along! (Don’t get him wrong, Kaveh thinks you’re a lovely person. But was there really a need to bring you along? Then again, if that’s what his roommate is happy with, who is he to interfere?)

Archons, there’s also the fact that of all, or at least the majority, of the conversations that Kaveh shared with Alhaitham, he’s sure that at least 97% of them were about you.

And Kaveh knew it was going to happen again right now.

“Are flowers really a good gift for someone?” Alhaitham asks, and Kaveh almost spits out his drink.

“What?”

“I said what I said.”

“I mean, why do you ask?”

“(Name) said it’s a nice gift to receive, but I disagree with it since what if the one you gifted it to can’t take care of plants? Wouldn’t that be troublesome for them?”

There he goes again, the architect thinks.

Kaveh is surprised that, for a smart person like Alhaitham, he’s really an idiot in love.

“Hey,” Kaveh drawls, giving his glass a swirl.

“What is it?”

“Have you ever considered the possibility that you’re in love?”

Alhaitham feels paralyzed. No, that thought has never crossed his mind. Not once, not until now, when his roommate had opened the topic. But now that he has, the gears in his mind start gearing as he connects some dots. He isn’t stupid or slow (or so he says), yet... for once in his life, he isn’t quite sure if he’s right in his answer.

“I haven’t.”

“You’ve got to be kidding me.”

How do you know if you’re in love with someone?

Alhaitham’s answer to this predicament is “Alright, Mr. Love Expert, so give me a list of things I need to check.”

“Huh?” Kaveh sputters in disbelief.

Alhaitham sighs. “Give me a checklist is what I’m saying.”

“No, no, I get that, but why ask me instead of love advice books?”

“The House of Daena doesn’t have those kinds of books,” Alhaitham says with a deadpan expression.

Kaveh grumbles. “You’re such an– ugh, fine!” The blond architect grabs a small piece of scrap paper and a pen. He starts scribbling on the paper carelessly, as if he wants it to be over already.

“Keep in mind that I’m giving you this only because it’s becoming increasingly painful to see the great Akademiya Scribe being such a dumbass,” he says, handing over the checklist to his old friend.

A small smile creeps onto Alhaitham’s lips as he reads the checklist.

1. Your heartbeat speeds up whenever they’re around. 2. You smile a lot when talking with them. 3. They are in your last thoughts before you fall asleep. 4. Their opinions weigh a lot in your mind. 5. You feel jealous whenever you see them getting physically intimate with another person. 6. You walk toward them hastily, as if impatient to interact with them. 7. You have thought about spending the rest of your life with them.

The scribe nods in approval. “Thanks. This will be really helpful.”

Kaveh’s mouth goes agape. “Are you actually being sincere with me right now?”

“Shut it.”

That night, Alhaitham puts a check mark after number three.

—

By the end of the work week, Alhaitham thinks that Kaveh is sorely mistaken.

He takes out the worn scrap of paper out of the book he’s currently reading and sighs. His handwriting litters the gaps on the paper.

1. Your heartbeat speeds up whenever they’re around. Normal heart rate. Invalid. 2. You smile a lot when talking with them. Is once every conversation a lot? 3. They are in your last thoughts before you fall asleep. ✓ 4. Their opinions weigh a lot in your mind. Nonsense. Every opinion must be weighed objectively. 5. You feel jealous whenever you see them getting physically intimate with another person. This never happens. 6. You walk toward them hastily, as if impatient to interact with them. I do that, but not because I’m impatient. 7. You have thought about spending the rest of your life with them.

Leaning back into his work chair, he lifts the paper until it’s mere inches from his nose and stares hard at number seven. Kaveh’s tired words from this morning echoes in his mind.

“Alhaitham, if you checked number 7, you can consider all the others checked and confess. To. (Name). Already.”

Really? Alhaitham thinks. Spending the rest of your life with one person? Do people really make foolish promises like that?

As Kaveh’s hasty handwriting starts to swirl, he pinches the bridge of his nose.

But then… that doesn’t sound so foolish if it’s with you…

He takes a deep breath and gets up from his work chair, stuffing the list back into his book with a sigh. It’s time to meet with you in the House of Daena.

… How do I know if I’m really in love with you, (name)?

The question floats around in the silver-haired scribe’s mind as he walks into the majestic library with his headphones off, his sensitive ears searching for the sound of your voice. Once he hears your exasperated sigh, he quickly walks toward your direction and sits beside you.

“I see the formula is as tough as ever,” he says, a smirk on his face.

“It is!” you hiss, banging your forehead onto the wooden desk. “I enrolled in this course to get away from numbers, and what I got is a super complicated formula to calculate substance release for the final assignment,” you pout. You ramble on to complain, and all Alhaitham can think is how adorable you look when you’re irritated.

I wouldn’t mind hearing you complain for the rest of my life, he thinks.

You stop and turn to face him, your eyebrows frowning in disbelief. “... What did you just say?”

Alhaitham blinks. “Did I say anything?”

“You just said you wouldn’t mind…”

“… hearing you complain for the rest of my life, yes.”

Several seconds of silence hangs in the air while every gear in his head snaps into place.

“Ah. So that’s how it is,” he smiles. Before you can respond, he takes your hands into his and tugs your fingers gently.

“(Name)... it looks like I’m in love with you,” he declares, his gaze meeting yours, both the relief of realization and the flames of excitement twinkling in his eyes. You feel a blush blooming across your face.

“You idiot…” you mutter, averting your gaze away from him. “Confessing in the middle of the library, and so loud, too…”

“But Kaveh said–”

“That doesn’t mean you have to say it so loudly in here! You could’ve taken me out to a nice dinner first… or something…”

“Oh, sorry.”

He tries to pull his hands away. Try being the keyword, as you pull them back to keep them in place.

“That said, I’ll forgive you, since I love you too,” you say with a smile.

His lips then meet yours in a tender kiss, as if uttering a silent promise.

Now I know, and I won’t know any other.

#saudade; milestone #alhaitham #alhaitham x you #alhaitham x reader #alhaitham x y/n #alhaitham fluff #genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader #genshin x you #genshin impact x you #genshin fluff #genshin impact fluff #kurisu writes #hehehe thank you shower muse goddess

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solarisfortuneia · 8 months

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— 𝐢 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐮𝐧.

✦ info: this is a piece for @soleillunne's event, saudade. the first half was written by @llovelessly and i picked it up from there.

✦ featuring: kamisato ayato.

✦ warnings: some angst (?), not proofread.

✦ notes: hi hello my apologies for the lateness life has been life-ing real hard </3 i've done my best, but i still think it could've been better lmao

it’s strange, you think.

you sit in the comforts of expensive silk and lustrous linen, being doused into the arms of sleep and the soft sheets bit by bit—yet your eyes are laden with everything anxiousness has to offer. with a stifled sigh, your hand moves to lift you off the bed, and your feet start its nightly spiel. wooden floorboards creak beneath your step, and you do your best to focus on the crevices of your timber footing rather than the unease that begins the prelude of many, many endless and sleepless nights.

the hands of the clock by your bedside dance between the hour of midnight and eleven thirty, with a sharp yet almost inaudible tick when each second passes by.

it’s driving deeper into your anxious spiral.

why is your lover, ayato―not home yet? oh, but he promised he’d be here some time after dinner, saying in-between a quiet laugh that by the time he greets you with a sarcastic bow the food is still warm and you’d have plenty of time to ramble on about what happened in the midst of your day—however he’s nowhere to be seen. your ears are accustomed to the sound of his grimy soles, always noticing the close sound even in a crowded room—so he couldn’t be inside the house (and the chances of him toying with you were low since he loves you like the sun).

but—of course, finally—the impeccable timing of the clicking of key and lock never fail to snap you out of your strung-out haze, a welcomed arm pulling you by the waist into a quick hug before your lover places his muddy shoes under your shared bed and asks,

“how was your day, darling?” with that familiar, august tone you know dearly. you pull him into a sweet yet short, kiss—and glance at his soiled shoes.

you note they’re less dirtier than usual, and when you check upon the doormat by the entrance, it’s smeared with less sod and ground than the night after you washed it.

“. . . it was nice.”

a smooth, somnolent voice drawls between your worry and gut; reminding you that the carpet doesn’t matter more than the hours of slow dawn with your lover—so you prompt yourself to bed and forget anything but him the next morning. . . . . . it’s strange, you draw out on the patterned cloth, leg bouncing up and down from both stress and strain.

ayato has yet to arrive at the restaurant you sat in—with your hair done the way he likes it and clothed expensively in his gifts from various other nations. you bit your bottom lip each time the rusted bell that hung atop the door jingled, only to signal someone else entering and not him.

you straightened your posture, feeling your spine protest while you shift in your seat; moving your hands to either fidget below the table on your lap or on the table, where the knitted red material creases because of your awaiting and nervous actions.

just when will he arrive and kiss you like the sun?

it was as if time had grown languid with a single flutter of your lashes, watching painfully as each shift and hail had amounted to mere seconds when even just one breath had begun to feel like it weighed an hour of misspent moments on your shoulders. the quick veers from an edginess bordered by humiliation to a forced politeness (that you try to keep as light as possible to make it more believable), become more and more habitual with the minor bow of your head at the waitress checking in on your table, asking if you’d like to order something or be served more water—to which you answer that you’re good,

you’re fine,

you’re just waiting for someone—and she asks who it is—but your vocals thin to prevent you from saying anything other than,

“oh, just someone i know.”

then she nods and goes back to the mazes of the dirty kitchen, leaving you to count how many minutes it’ll take for her to come back again and ask the same questions again.

—

and so the ticks continue to sound in your head, a clock of your mind’s own making reminding you of the passage of time far better than the sounds that chime through the restaurant. and your presence feels like a statue made of stone, weighing heavily into the fabric of your surroundings. the eyes of people who entered long after you linger on the empty seat in front of yours, pity and curiosity dancing together in their gaze.

it’s strange, you think. he promised to be here before eight.

you’re intimately acquainted with waiting for him, the sounds of time passing by a bosom friend, the silent agony of anticipating his presence a slowly compressive pressure on your being. but he’s never made you wait this long.

not without a message, a lick of correspondence, an apology via one of his assistants, something, anything.

where is he?

anticipation twirls and swirls until it turns to anxiety, a glossy spill of viscous worry atop clear thought.

where are you, ayato?

the grandfather clock made of gilded oak chimes nine, and you rise. you cannot bear the waitressess’ pitying looks anymore. to wait alone is easy enough, but under eyes that glow with condolence?

there is lighter torture in hell.

tears prick the back of your own eyes, and you cannot tell if they’re of frustration, worry or a combination of both. nevertheless, you hold your head high. the screech of the chair as you move it back rattles your skull.

the wait makes the journey home feel as if it merely flew by, as fast as lightning, the briefest flash of white in stormy skies. yet the ticks of the clock you cannot see haunt you all the same.

hours later, long after you reach home, the hurried footsteps beyond the door, the click of the keys in the lock and the turn of the handle alerts you to his arrival.

“kamisato ayato.” you say, without bothering to turn. “where were you?” a waver betrays your emotions, your concern, your worry.

he rushes to grasp your hands in his, rare sincerity in his eyes. the raw emotion etched across his face, a clay tablet engraved by a stylus, is uncharacteristic. “look at me, please.” his voice breaks.

slowly, you raise your gaze to meet his own.

“darling, i—” he pauses to swallow at the sight of sadness lining the rims of your eyes. “i’m so sorry.”

“you said you’d be there before eight.” your words sit heavily in the air, laden with emotion you can’t quite verbalize. “i waited.” like i always do, you think, bitterness sharpening the edges of your thought.

“i know.” he hangs his head, moving to look at the silken lavender sheets. “i…i fell asleep. on my desk, after a meeting.”

the admission takes you by surprise.

you glance at the shoes by the fireplace. though the luster of shoe-polish is no longer as distinct, you cannot see any evidence of dirt or sod or sand marring the sleek blackness. he really was in the office, you think.

he loves you like the sun. you know he does. but not all of us have the luxury of basking in it when we want to. life binds our hands and our feet together in the dark.

and just like that, your heart softens against the resolution of your mind. the bags under his eyes are heavier than you’ve last seen them. “you look tired,” you murmur.

“i’m never tired for you,” he replies.

“i was worried.” you say, holding his hand tighter. i was worried about you not sending a message. i was worried that you forgot about me. i was worried that i’m not as important to you as the things that occupied your mind.

he pulls you closer. i’m sorry for making you feel that way, he says wordlessly, with the way he draws circles on your skin.

and at last, his lips are upon yours, desperate, wanting, rushed despite exhaustion, so unlike the thorough, careful, controlled man he is.

“i’m sorry,” he whispers fervently, over and over, as his hands worship your skin with reverence.

“i’m sorry,” he whispers against your shoulder when you lay fast asleep.

“i’m sorry,” he whispers to your hair, in hopes you hear his apologies in your dreams.

this time, he makes another promise. to never promise you time out of his schedule that he cannot give. to never make you wait longer than you should. to learn to put his burdens into the hands of those willing to help, so he can swear to devote days to you, and only you. he knows both his happiness and his love revolve around you, and they will for as long as the heart in his chest beats.

after all, he is but the earth to your sun.

#saudade; milestone #—🖋#genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader #ayato x reader #kamisato ayato x reader #genshin impact x you #genshin x you #ayato x you #kamisato ayato x you #so uh this definitely could've been better #but i tried my best #as always feedback is always appreciated <3

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ilyuu · 9 months

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right where you left me.

synopsis : it takes years to build up feelings and memories that means the world to you and him, and it all takes one evening for it to break down and leave nothing but time standing still and a relationship that could've been. (or you recall the night you broke up with kazuha, thinking it all over again.)

tags : angst/no comfort, modern!au, childhood friends to lovers to strangers, mentions of getting high, light swearing, ambiguous ending.

wc : 2500+! (2635.)

a/n : and yes this is all based off of taylor swift’s right where you left me from perse!! along with that, please do excuse any grammar and formatting mistakes

for the saudade event by the all amazing and angsty creative @soleillunne! the first half is written by the wielder of cat pics, @https-furina, and the second half from yours truly. ready your tissues because in spite of the beautiful and vivid wording from verse, it hurts (in a good way, of course)! nonetheless, i hope you'd enjoy this as much as i did! <3

also, perse, thank you; i had so much fun writing this! the possibilities were endless for me, and reading your part when trying to get a feel for this story made me roll up in a corner and cry (not actually though, so don't worry about me, hehe),,

There's idle chatter and the faint clinking of cutlery and wine glasses, almost drowned out by the harsh winds and rain that batters the restaurant's dimmed windows.

The lights are soft and subdued yet hold a warmth that hugs every living being inside the building - some sheltering from the rainstorm, others rekindling with their lovers or families. That should be you, rekindling with a lover that was never yours in the first place.

To your left, you hear the gossip of two friends; a couple in their friend group recently broke up, "good riddance," one girl chirps, "she deserves better than him." The conversation promptly shifts to that of one regarding marriage and weddings. What would you have looked like on that fateful day with white veil and a glittering ring on your finger, the thought makes you grimace.

"What a sad sight," an elderly woman whispers to her husband from where they're settling at a table not too far away, she's gazing at you with a sorrowful look, "poor girl."

The words shift a small crack of a smile onto your face - is that truly how you looked to the unknowing bystanders around you? Did they think you'd been stood up on a first date?

If only.

The more you stare at the empty, red crushed velvet chair in front of you, the more the realisation starts to hit even harder than before that he isn't going to magically turn up, dressed ever so handsomely in smart casual attire with his silver hair in its usual messy ponytail.

You hadn't seen his face since that night, how pained he seemed as he watched you smash the empty wine glass adorning your table, his eyes trained on the way it shatters into a million pieces on the white cloth. It was almost a perfect metaphor for your heart at that exact moment.

"You know we're here because we need to talk, right?" His voice is familiar, nostalgic almost as he places his blazer over the back of his chair. He hasn't changed since you were children, sneaking after school to the nearest McDonalds until your curfew, "y/n.."

"Do we have to talk?" You respond quickly with a sharp tongue, your hands shaking as you find anything to do with them, this even includes unfolding and folding the napkin in front of you repeatedly. Conversations are whispered all around you, some followed by short laughter.

Kazuha almost winces at the tone of your voice but he knows it's deserved. You had been friends since you could remember, joined at the hip no matter what happened. Your mothers always commented that you were inseparable, never found without the other close behind - so how did it come to this?

It came to this because you had became attached, craving his presence at all times even as you went to university. You wanted him and nobody else could even remotely compete with the man that Kaedehara Kazuha had grown into somehow from that clumsy toddler you'd wrapped around your chubby fingers all those years ago.

For a while, the rebellious teen thought the exact same about you. He would ponder over the hours the two of you spent together in his dorm room, sharing a joint as you forget the stress of the exam season you'd just barely managed to survive.

He would reflect on the nights he'd carry you on his back, taking you back to your dorm after an exceptionally rough night clubbing with your friend group, who always roped you into unbelievable scenarios.

He had expressed his concerns over your friend group more than once but you had shrugged him off, flashing him that playful smile he couldn't get enough of. "It's fine, Kaz," you reassure him as you apply a layer of mascara to your eyelashes, "we only live once, right?" When you'd responded with that, Kazuha initially thought 'yeah, we do.'

Nights under star scattered skies sharing joints would only last so long, after all Kazuha was at university to study business management, the heir to his father's publishing company. With this future responsibility came the family reputation and the eventual arranged marriage to another rich family - that was a criteria that you had never fit in and pre-emptively, you never would.

"You know it's not my decision, y/n," His voice is almost breaking when he takes the seat in front of you, clammy hands clasped together in front of him on the clothed table. You scowl a little, it had never been his choice, had it? "we should seen this coming."

"We?" You repeat, narrowing your eyes at him, "you - you should have seen this coming."

Kazuha lets out an exasperated sigh, closing his eyes for a moment as he listens to the bustle of the restaurant around the pair of you. He starts to consider that a restaurant was not the best location to be having a lover's quarrel.

When he reopens his eyes, they fall to you across the table. Your eyes are glittering like the chandelier that hangs from the ceiling in the centre of the room and he can almost make out the tears starting to pool in the corners of your eyes.

"I never wanted to hurt you, you know that, right?" For some reason, those words hurt your heart more than he most likely intended.

They feel like knives, sharpened daggers that plunge deep into your most fatal organ and tear it apart in ways that Kazuha would never be able to grasp. In that moment, you nearly wish that you could inflict this kind of pain on him so he could feel how your heart ached at that exact time or how the tears stung at your eyes, blurring your vision to the point where you could barely make his figure out.

Even with a singular tear running its uneven path down your cheek, you find the chance to smile, turning your gaze away from him as you let out a soft, pained laugh.

"If that's true, you should have known it would have hurt less for you to have turned me down instead of giving me a chance like you did." Your words bite at Kazuha more than you would ever know.

He hides the way his nails press into his skin, digging into it so hard they leave red, crescent moon marks and almost draw blood. Kazuha chews down on his tongue, the metallic taste of his blood flooding his mouth when he conveniently suddenly finds it hard to swallow, leaving him to succumb to the consequences of his own actions.

His mouth is dry when he opens his mouth to speak but words don't come out, just a simple exhale as he processes the back and forth argument that will continue for the rest of the night, "I've met her already."

"And? Is she nice?" You reply shortly, holding your tongue. There are thoughts running through your mind, hundreds in tens of seconds that you can't even grasp yourself. His family was wasting no time in selling this marriage to the media, gaining that social coverage they crave as socialites.

Kazuha lets out a small hum as if the energy had suddenly shifted back to normal between you.

"She's alright," Kazuha starts and you part your lips to speak, quick witted and sharp but Kazuha holds a hand up, silencing you before he continues, "but she isn't you."

"No, you don't get to get to pull that shit now, Kazuha," you laugh, it's bittersweet and causes Kazuha to visibly wince, "you damn well don't get to say shit like that anymore."

Kazuha's ruby eyes fall to how you are gripping an empty wine glass on the table, one that was supposed to be filled with a dark red liquid by now, its fruity taste becoming bitter on your tongues.

You have every right to be angry with him and Kazuha is drowned in remorse when he catches your knuckles turning white before the stem of the wine glass cracks in your palm, dropping the bowl of the glass onto the white cloth decorating the table as it shatters into sharp, broken shards.

The visual of glass breaking causes you to blink quickly, suddenly back to reality as you realise you're gripping at your phone in your hand with almost the same strength you'd put into the wine glass that night. Your muscles relax, leaning forward on the table as you rest your head in your hands.

It’s time to go.

So? There’s nothing much you can do now, and as much as it leaves such a bittersweet taste on your tongue that you can’t bother to swallow at all, it’s as much as the truth. Not as if some miracle can fly across the sky and everything will end in a happily ever after like in a fairytale. To rely on that, really, is desperation (is it really?) as its finest. Or maybe that’s your feelings talking. Maybe that’s just the lifetime worth of memories you held with him, sweeter and lighter than this entire evening has been, that’s making you want to hold onto that thin, fragile string of hope that means nothing in the grand scheme of things.

You feel your chest ache, a familiar feeling lately that you’d rather disappear, fade, or just… vanish. Really. Just anything to make this go away; it’s more of a reminder than anything that makes it twinge whenever you run through that night in your head too many times to count, each small detail almost nothing, a blur, when all you see is the way Kazuha looked at you. Pained? Helpless? A combination of something you couldn’t pin on in the midst of your own heated thoughts?

You wipe the corner of your eyes with each hand, your warm palms something of a comfort. Not the time.

A moonless night bears witness to the two of you lying atop of the roof of your apartment complex, years felt like days, from your school days, with how clear the memory of Kazuha looking over to you with such adoration swirling in his eyes along with the faint stars.

Your shoulders start to tremble.

The embrace of a familiar warmth wrapping around your waist, the blanket slipping onto the floor from the edge of the couch nothing compared to the comfort seeping into your skin.

Muted colors play across the two of you from the movie - it’s nothing but a backdrop anymore as you find yourself a bit more focused on his hand, your fingers wrapped in his, the pad of your thumb lightly caressing the back of his. You feel his breath, a huff, waft over your neck from that.

You try to let go of a sigh. It only comes out as a broken whimper.

His lips shifting against yours, soft, so sweet, as quiet sounds are shared between two of you. His shallow sighs of your name dripping with every nights’ worth of what ifs, every waking days’ worth of thoughts that crossed and blurred a line between friends and something more.

A chance, a hope, a dream - all of it was woven into the few words Kazuha murmured against your lips, over and over, bounding it with you in his hope that it’d make it real.

You know it all meant something to Kazuha.

Every mote of sand of time that fell within the two of you meant something to him, cherished it close and closer to his heart than anything else. You know that much. It was obvious - so obvious, too obvious - in every word he said that carried gravity and care to you, in every act he’s ever done for you for the sake of making you smile. It hurts, it hurts, it hurts.

He loved you. Kazuha loves you in every sense of the word. It was only that very love that led to this, as much as the two of you shared in it. This is the best for the two of you.

You know that, and he, of all people, especially knows that. It meant something to him, and so he just had to go ahead and say yes, let you into a world that was only for the two of you, and led you on until the edge of the world and into the reality you’re in now.

Do you blame him for that? For all of this? You’re not sure anymore.

Sure, of course, on that night, he knew where… this, the relationship, was going, how it was going to end. Kazuha could’ve prevented this if he hadn’t held your hand on that one day, stared into your eyes long enough for you to see that he felt the same - he instead gave you, this, a chance.

Things might’ve been better if he didn’t.

You click your tongue. Nope. Don’t think about him, or just don’t think in general - your thoughts are bound to come back to him regardless, no matter what you do. There’s no use thinking about this, no use in even giving it a second of your evening like this.

You stood up. The chatter stirs around you, aware or not, fades to the backdrop. It’s not exactly ideal to stay here, especially since you feel as though you’ll start crying at any given moment. You pick up your umbrella leaning against the leg of the chair, still dripping a bit.

In your thoughts, in your dreams, in your what ifs, yes, but this is neither of those things - this is the truth. This is your reality (how many times will you say that to yourself until you finally realize it?), and the reality is, amid soft, crackling candlelight, a gentle coat of companionship, cottony velvet rolling across the cushions, decor ivy slithering on the walls, just that - a rather pretty veil over your eyes to try and cloud the emptiness that sits with you across the table.

He’ll be alright. Of course he’ll be alright. He’s Kazuha.

You hadn’t realized you were already outside. The light jingle of the bell atop of you fades, leaving a lonely echo. The thrum of the rain felt underneath your feet, clearer than it had been inside.

There’s a heaviness in the air you can’t quite place either, or maybe that’s just all you and the feelings you can’t seem to leave behind (not that it’s easy to do so in the first place.)

For some reason, whenever it rains, you’d feel as though you can finally breathe (he’d know that). You try to smile. It’s weak, shy of breaking down, and to the point that even you don’t believe in it, but it’s a smile nonetheless; it makes you feel a bit better.

You bid goodbye to Kazuha, the thought of him.

You bid goodbye to the man you love.

You bid goodbye to the memories you know you’ll visit later whenever anything and everything reminds you of him.

Will he be happy? Will he be alright? You know you’ll find yourself thinking about this some time later, but you try to find comfort, even as thin as it is, in the idea that he’ll think of the same things you’ll be - that’ll he find that pseudo happiness in a past that’ll already be too far to reach into.

You open your umbrella, the panels springing open. The canopy you’re under trickles with rainfall, pelting said umbrella in an almost melodic symphony if you try hard enough to hear it. You take quiet pleasure in that as you walk out and into the tears.

You’ll be alright. He’ll be alright. You both will be alright.

(He doesn’t like the rain that much.)

The rain itself drowns that one out.

#saudade ; milestone #genshin impact x reader #genshin impact x you #genshin x reader #genshin x you #kaedehara kazuha x reader #kaedehara kazuha x you #kazuha x reader #kazuha x you #kazuha angst #genshin impact angst #genshin impact fanfic #genshin angst #genshin fanfic

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soleillunne · 9 months

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reminder that saudade part two is until the end of the first week of september! again, if you cant keep up with the date please let me know, but other than that try to meet up with it!

also please tag me and the co-author in it as well as use the tag saudade; milestone

#saudade; milestone

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pequenaameninaaapaixonada · 2 years

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2000 posts!

#2000 posts #tumblr milestone #amor #saudade

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itoshiexx · 5 months

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1K FOLLOWERS EVENT ‧₊✩‧₊˚

hello pookies!! i'm so so so happy to announce i reached 1K followers here on tumblr — and before my birthday, yay! i wanna thank you all so much for all the love and support you've given me since i started posting my own stuff in here, and also say that i'm extremely grateful for all the friends i made in this community! <3

that being said, i decided to host a small event to celebrate this milestone! it won't be anything grand since i don't really have time to write alot, but i do hope you enjoy nonetheless ^^

it's open for everyone, so don't hesitate to send an ask! and without further do, see below the cut for more info! ♥

STATUS: CLOSED

event masterlist

INFO AND RULES ‧₊✩‧₊˚

info — if you'd like to participate, send an ask choosing a character + concept, and i'll write a drabble/shortfic with reader insert ♥

requests will be closed December 26th (aka my birthday)

i'll write everything as gn!reader to be more inclusive, and please keep in mind that i may not accept all requests if i can't think of what to write. this is just a lil something for fun so please no pressure either <3

FANDOMS / CHARACTERS AVAILABLE ‧₊✩‧₊˚

blue lock — ... all of them? i guess? (lol) but preferably itoshi rin, itoshi sae, isagi yoichi, nagi seishiro, mikage reo, michael kaiser, bachira meguru, barou shoei, shidou ryusei, oliver aiku

jujutsu kaisen — gojo satoru, fushiguro megumi, ryomen sukuna, itadori yuuji, nanami kento

haikyuu — kageyama tobio, tsukishima kei, kuroo tetsurou, oikawa tooru, iwaizumi hajime, bokuto kotaro, akaashi keiji, ushijima wakatoshi, tendou satori, miya atsumu, miya osamu, suna rintarou, kita shinsuke, sakusa kiyoomi

CONCEPTS ‧₊✩‧₊˚

— Querencia (n.) - a place where one’s strength is drawn, where one feels at home; the place where you are your most authentic self

— Kairosclerosis (n.) - the moment when you realize you’re happy

— Selcouth (adj.) - unfamiliar, rare, strange, and yet marvelous

— Orphic (adj.) - mysterious and entrancing; beyond ordinary understanding

— Forelsket (n.) - the euphoria experience when you first fall in love

— Sweven (n.) - a vision seen in sleep; a dream

— Hiraeth (n.) - a homesickness for a home to which you cannot return, a home which maybe never was; the nostalgia, the yearning, the grief for the lost places of your past

— Saudade (n.) - a nostalgic longing for something or someone

— Nepenthe (n.) - something that can make you forget grief or suffering

— Solivagant (adj.) - wandering alone

— Absquatulate (v.) - to leave without saying goodbye

— Drapetomania (n.) - the overwhelming urge to run away

— Cafuné (n.) - running your fingers through the hair of someone you love

— Tacenda (n.) - things better left unsaid; matters to be passed over in silence

— Anfractuosity (n.) - something twisting and turning; something mazelike and confusing

if there’s any cool word with cool meaning you’d like me to do, feel free to send it as well!

thank you so incredibly much for everything, and i really hope you enjoy! ♥

#LENA’S 1K FOLLOWERS EVENT #bllk imagines #bllk x reader #blue lock x reader #blue lock #blue lock fanfiction #blue lock drabbles #blue lock fluff #blue lock x y/n #blue lock x you #itoshi sae x reader #itoshi rin x reader #isagi yoichi x reader #blue lock x gn reader #blue lock x female reader #jjk imagines #jjk x you #jjk x y/n

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starlightlacrimosazpsff · 10 months

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Saudade; Milestone

I just recently finished an event submission for @soleillunne. I would like to thank you for the opportunity in letting me take part in your event~! This is my first time participating in something like this and it has been an honor. Hopefully, I get to participate in any future events you may end up hosting. ;)

Huge thanks to @heiayen as well for co-writing the story with me~! I saw your tag comments and I'm so glad you loved the results. It was quite fun working with you. I would have honestly made Scara more unhinged but I think I preferred the way he hid his madness behind such elegant cunning. It certainly matches his two-faced persona when he was first introduced in canon and in the beginning of our plotline hehe. ;)

Also, I would like to tag @seelestia whom holds fondness for Scaramouche/Wanderer. If you're interested in seeing a two-faced Scaramouche in a Spy AU, feel free to check the green link above~! Not much "Wanderer" in the character, but I think you would still love him due to how I based his behavior on Ayato in some way. ;)

REPOST NOTE: @soleillunne I saw your thank-you comment in the first post of this, and wanted to let you know. Sorry for the double notifs, haha~!

#post notes #special thanks #event notes #repost

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bamboomusiclist · 2 months

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4/3 おはようございます。 Judy Garland / Judy T734 等更新しました。

Judy Garland / Judy T734 Ruth Asenlund / with Kurt Jarnberg Quintet cooplp280 Bud Powell / Bud rlp-2224 Jack Montrose / Jack Montrose Sextet pj-1208 Bill Evans / Since We Met F-9501 Zoot Sims / The Art Of Jazz CELP-4520 Dusko Goykovich / Ten To Two Blues eny45 Hampton Hawes / Two Sides of Hampton Hawes jas-4004/2 Music Minus One / Swing With A Band MMO1022 Chico Hamilton / Jazz Milestones Series pj10108 Swedish Radio Jazz Group / Rainbow Sketches Cmlp590 Paul Butterfield / Better Days br2119 Eric Quincy Tate / Drinking Man's Friend CP0104 Third World / All The Way Strong bl38687 John Holt / Time Is The Master ctlp109 George McCrae / Rock Your Baby tk501 Wilson Simonal / Alegria Alegria Mofb3508 L'Ensemble Amaro De Souza / Saudades Do Brasil ARN33198

~bamboo music~

[email protected]

530-0028 大阪市北区万歳町3-41 シロノビル104号

06-6363-2700

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muznew · 1 year

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Weekend Picks 23: Melodic

- DATA CREATED: 11/06/2023 - QUALITY: MP3/320 kbps Tracklist &ME, Black Coffee, Keinemusik - The Rapture Pt.III Budakid - Milestones - Shubostar Remix Maze 28 - Redux Eleonora, Morttagua, Ubbah - Blue Enigma Rafael Cerato, Waltervelt - Dramatic 2050 Sara Miller - Sprinkles VONDA7, Mopao Mumu - Till The Morning - Extended Mix AIKON - Virgo Shouse - Live Without Love feat. David Guetta - Klingande Remix Choopie, Golan Zocher - SAO - Extended Mix KURA, Bia Caboz - Sentir Saudade (feat. Bia Caboz) - Extended Mix David Michael Cross - Cold War (Nuclear War) Imperial Porcelain - Gravy Boat - Manuel Tur Edit Ivory (IT) - Persona Murat Uncuoglu - Stand Alone ricky retro, Scorz - Rule The World - Extended Mix Zoo Brazil, Audiofly - Good Times eje (SF) - Feel Your Own Energy Coco, Mr.Orpheus - Limerence Feat. Coco Opposite Ways - On The Road DEL-30 - Satellite - Extended Mix Damon Jee - Intelli Port Manteau, Yeadon, Émilie Rachel - Needin' (feat. Read the full article

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djmusicbest · 1 year

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Weekend Picks 23: Melodic

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risustravelogue · 1 year

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Table of Contents

Legend:

🌧️ angst 🧣 comfort 🐈 fluff 🎈 crack 💡 sagau 🔥 nsfw 🌱 headcanons 📝 drabble 📚 Alhaitham x Kurisu (haikuri)-specific 🐺 Wriothesley x Kurisu (wrisu)-specific

Note:

For x reader ships I write, they assume f!Reader unless specifically stated otherwise.

Alhaitham x Reader Series: the scribe’s travelogue, written by his wife (ordered by timeline - ongoing)

Overgrowth 🐈 • part of @/zhongrin’s Elemental Supercharge collab

Valentine's Period Pains 🐈

With You, From Now On 🐈

Touchy 🐈🔥

Never A Waste 🌧️🧣

Evergreen Bloom 🐈🔥

Headcanons - Periods with Alhaitham 🐈🌱

You, and Only You 🌧️ with a dab of 🐈

🔥NSFW Series - Scandalous🔥

Part 1: Wriothesley, Alhaitham

Part 2: Zhongli, Baizhu, Neuvillette

Non-series - Alhaitham x Reader

Cooking Confession 🐈

A Fleeting Dream 🌧️💡

picked up by Alhaitham + riding a tricycle 🐈🌱

you’re too loud, my love 🔥

For Whose Sake 🌧️📝

Until Your Very Last Breath 🌧️

How Do I Know 🐈🎈 - for saudade milestone event by @/soleilunne

In Tune With You 🐈

Non-series - Wriothesley x Reader

Marks On You 🔥

Enough 🧣📝

Gentle Lover 🐈🔥📝

Non-series - Various x Reader

Telling Him You’re Pregnant 🐈🌱 • Alhaitham, Childe, Cyno, Tighnari

At the End of the Day 🐈🌱 • Alhaitham, Cyno, Kaveh, Tighnari, Zhongli

Gifts of A Kind 🧣 • Zhongli, Alhaitham, Wriothesley

Non-series - Other Pairings

Performance’s End 🌧️ • Childe x Lumine

Headcanons

mid-meeting Alhaitham headcanons 🌱

Modern AU Teyvat Alhaitham Headcanons 🐈🌱📚 with a dab of 🌧️

Art Series

Pinching their cheeks (click here to open the tag)

Alhaitham

Ayato

Childe

Kaveh

Neuvillette

Tighnari

Wriothesley

Xiao

Zhongli