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#salem chatter
salemoleander · 1 year
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Fascinated by people who consider Etho killing Joel to be their 'official breakup' or w/e bc to me hunting someone down and stabbing them to death* is like 'Ah, I see things are going well then'
*in Minecraft.
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nydescynt · 9 months
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Me after drinking half a panera charged lemonade: I think i hauve premonitions
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monstermiru · 3 months
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I'll try to finish up a proper fic for valentines! I've been outlining a enemies to lovers fic for astarion x reader. Spoiler: He crashes on your date.
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planetary · 1 year
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this happens to me every single day and nobody even cares
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cyber-streak-2 · 1 year
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There’s an Original Story I’m working on, and although I don’t have much atm, I’ll share some of the characters I have for the story:
Main Characters:
Tricks: They/Them/Themself
The protagonist of the story, and a Cyborg. In the past before the story/plot happened, Tricks was turned into a Cyborg by their parents when they were pretty young, and they’ve been getting used to it ever since.
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Salem: No Pronouns
A human, and someone that Tricks meets for the first time as the story unfolds. A long time ago in the past, Salem was adopted by a robot couple, after Salem’s original parents gave Salem up.
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Key: She/Her/Herself, They/Them/Themself, He/Him/Himself
A robot, and an old friend of Tricks with the two formerly reuniting as the story happens. A long time ago, the two were great friends, continuously growing closer- until something happened to cause the two to dislike each other, and they stopped talking to each other.
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Wisp: It/It’s/Itself
A recently created robot—by someone unknown—that ends up accompanying and befriending the others. Not much is known about it, as Wisp doesn’t seem to want to talk about much- and seems to be quite mysterious.
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Secondary/Side Characters:
Artemis: She/Her/Herself, MtF.
A cyborg that typically helps out in fixing/repairing anything wrong with other Cyborgs and Robots. She was the first to have met Wisp and introduced it to the others. Family to Salem, as her mother is related to Salem’s father.
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Pax: They/Them/Themself
A forgetful robot, and a family friend of Tricks who used to babysit both them and Key until the two were older. In the present, Pax wishes to help everyone out- but that may prove to be somewhat difficult.
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Vee: He/Him/Himself, FtM.
A human that typically hangs out around Artemis and helps her with Cyborgs and Robots—and is willing to do anything for approval. He’s not sure how to help Tricks and the others in the present, but he’s sure he’ll figure it out.
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Cleo: She/Her/Herself, They/Them/Themself
A human that has spoken with the main group constantly, appearing out of seemingly nowhere to do so each time. While Cleo partially would like to assist, the other half just wants to sit back and watch whatever may happen.
Tags: @aecholapis @novafire-is-thinking @ivycorp @swede-fish
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hollowsentinel · 2 years
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Idea: RWBY Medieval Fantasy JRPG AU, scaling difficulty based party strength/location/plot as per usual, this scaling is entirely intentional on Salem's part. This is discovered when confronting Salem, and she flexes out of a mage-queen outfit, steps out of her heels, and takes off her gloves to reveal hand wraps.
You thought she was going to magic and grimm spawn her way to victory? Hell no. She was training the party up to fist-fight their asses. Forever is boring, and this was just what she needed to perk herself up.
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Just sitting on my bed holding my cat like a baby while she twitches in her sleep after she fell asleep in my arms. Love is this right here.
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stellarhoxy · 1 month
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do i make the witch in my coven piece green, turning green, with blotchy green patches, or white? i don't want her to look too similar to CL
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jcsontodd · 1 year
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This pattern was gonna make me cry so i gave up, frogged the whole thing, then was trying to make sense of it bc i really wanna do this and now understand what the actual hell is going on w this pattern
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kitsumidori · 2 years
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Ok so I've been playing more Wonderlands and I was able to find a hair color that fits close to Salem hair (is light blue-ish color with pink tips, but I think it fits for now until I find something more closer to her hair color)
So here's what I got (also sorry for the quality)
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Here's Salem the Morticulturalist with Cosmo the Spore Companion and Ashley the Demi-Linch (he had a different name but after hearing him say army of darkness, and my mind wandered off since I've recently seen that movie two weeks ago, and here we are)
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mothcollective · 2 years
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salemoleander · 3 months
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Got to go to Quinn Hills' birthday concert at Drkmttr in Nashville tonight and it was lovely! Incredible music & performances, especially from Quinn herself :D also lots of very cool people to talk to!
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nydescynt · 1 year
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My very elderly great uncle wrote a 50 or so page paper/book/thesis on steamboats in the ohio river valley and my family is entirely bemused with me bc I've sat down and am both reading and editing it
"He won't change anything in that and it'll probably never be published, that's a waste of time"
Well Maybe. But...
He went to the trouble of writing it, I can go to the trouble of reading it. It's like 50 doublespaced pages!! Cmon! I know how hard it is to get anyone to read the things you write.
The editing isn't just for him, it's for me! I'm learning a lot about both steamboats and nonfiction editing. I've surprised myself at how clearly I can see where sections of pages need moved, changed, edited, and where a section needs more examples or a clearer throughline. Where a bit of his authorial voice leaking through would be beneficial, and where he's gotten the tone spot on.
Idk he probably won't appreciate or listen to my suggestions. I don't even know if I'll send them, but. This is worthwhile
I hope Great Uncle Jerry appreciates it- or is incensed! But at least he'll know someone gives a shit
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monstermiru · 3 months
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I'm finally watching Across The Spiderverse and I think I'm definitely gonna add it to my writing list!
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coffeewritesfiction · 3 months
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Fill prompt for/inspired by this post by @unboundprompts. Saw it and knew what I had to write. Still got a bit away from me.
BTW if you see this, do me a favor. I'm gonna reblog this post with some links to my friend @actualblanketgremlin's stuff. Stella is the one who made Sadie and they're letting me borrow her, see. They've been having a really rough time lately so if you can spare some money or need to buy some pretty, handmade stuff [especially wood-burned boxes], check the links out? And reblog that version of the post if you can.
Okay it's Cthulhu Mythos time again here we go.
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A terrible thing, silence. Unnatural, like things moving around in the dark skies over the city. Nothing but predators wandering in late hours. Laying in bed, Sadie waited, listening to the empty air. 
Chicago wasn’t like this. Chicago knew how to breathe at night. Chicago knew how to bleed. It even wept, sometimes. Of course it did. Everyone wept there, bodies piling in the streets in the street wars between smiling, scarred men in their expensive, wide-legged suits. Even now, after she left, the papers told it all - the country crumbling into pieces with the banks that failed them.
Arkham didn’t bleed, or breathe, or sleep. How did anyone get sleep in this town? Didn’t anyone feel it? Didn’t anyone know? Something had gone wrong. Something was alive, but not alive. Something was… dead, but not, and not in some strange in-between either, something she couldn’t wrap her head around… But should. In her bones, or beneath them, somehow, she should, she wanted to, she did not ever want to, understand.
Beautiful city, Arkham. Some of the buildings dated back to a few years after Salem’s founding. Walking through the city, you walked through the past. Someone’s else past. Her past. (Had she gone mad already?)
Laying in bed, curled up so safe under the blankets, she listened to empty air.
She waited, and listened.
Here, on the second floor, she could hear the young man in the attic quite well, when he walked around. Who he was, she didn’t know. A student at Miskatonic University by his uniform, dark hair, white skin. He avoided her. But the whispers from the other renters, they said he’d asked for the attic, because of its history.
A strange man, in a strange house, in a strange town…
Sadie closed her eyes, and listened. Why did I come here, she thought, why did I come here.
And above, a chair squeaked. Above a man stepped and stalked around the room. Above something mumbled and it wasn’t the man at all.
If she listened she’d understand the hissing, grumbling whispers. If she just listened closely enough, she’d understand. Sadie entwined her hands into her curly hair and clenched her eyes shut tighter with focus. Focused on the scratching scrambling clawing sounds that came between her breaths, focused on that faint masculine voice that dragged out between creaking, groaning, ancient wood.
Focused on it. Focused and listened.
The voice that was not the man who lived upstairs chattered and chuckled. Sharp claws dug into old familiar routes in the wooden walls. Cat soft footsteps. Creaking wood, creaking house, creaking doors.
Doors? She’d closed her door.
Sadie lay still in her bed, and did not move. Sadie lay there and listened to the clawing catlike footsteps. The breathing of a man that wasn’t. She listened to the words but had stopped. But now in the pit of her stomach and the base of her neck she knew, if the words began again, she’d hear, she’d understand.
Why did she listen?
She had to listen.
And when the voice spoke, she listened well.
“Goode be your name but not your blood, you are no child of Salem. Deeper stains run through your line than clever human magic. I smell it. She knows it. But do you?”
Within the darkness the creature laughed.
“You must. Would you listen to me elsewise? Poor orphan you are. Do you know the shell of which you’ve glimpsed? You fear the dark, for the horrors it hides, but it is the day which shelters the most dreadful of them all.”
Sadie opened her lips to speak.
“Be you wise and hear me now, Sadie Goode: you have not angered that which you have challenged, merely raised a terrible curiosity. You are known to him, our great master, as were your parents before you. It falls to you now, to decide your fate, and to decide with haste, for it was only a mistake that you escaped his sight.”
The voice deepened, darkened as the skies overhead.
“Your parents knew him. Do you think we could not tell the child of one of our own? No witch-child you are, but your parents served him well. How else would you be so blessed? But if they earned his wrath, and you follow in their steps, you will earn their punishment, three times three.”
And the darkness shifted and shivered with her body.
“Beware, Sadie Goode. Beware the mistress of this house, legend you may think she is. Beware the friends you keep, the enemies you make, the strangers on the street. And beware, my dear, beware yourself most of all -- for you have gained the interest of the Crawling Chaos, and you may gain more unmeaning. And there is no greater danger in all the planets in all the universe than to become a favorite of our god, Nyarlathotep.”
Sadie listened, and listened, and listened. And the claws sunk into wood, and the door hinged creaked, and the house breathed around her again. And she did not move, she did not open her eyes. Listened to the house shifting, and birds waking, and the strangers stirring in their beds unknowing, as the sun’s return brought Arkham back to life.
Tag list:
@slenders1ckn3ss @jacqueswriteblrlibrary @redacted-metallum @actualblanketgremlin @higgs-space @phantomnations @mushabumi @assistantdirector--janson @aldhidbah @sabtael @yourheartonfireblog @jade-island-lives @carnocus @cecuesta @darkhorse-javert @comicgoblinart @lizadomuch @minutiaewriter @izzyspussy @passthebeat-blog-blog @dragonedged-if @andromedaexists @cyanide-latte @suckerpunchfemale @late-to-the-fandom @eldritch-flower @cljordan-imperium @royal1asset-if @pineywitch @fragrant-stars @mynameis40and4 @starry-voids @wubsbian @divine-anarchy @elbritch-kit @tousled-birdmad-girl @pen-for-sword @noightwitchers @bee-barnes-author @amielbjacobs @dyrewrites @astras-rambles
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foreficfandom · 3 months
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POV: You Are Actually MUCH More Powerful Than Alastor (ch. 2 - "Flashbacks")
(Alastor x Reader, g/n, queerplatonic/sex and romance favorable, fan theories, God!Reader) (AO3)
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Alastor was always a man who craved control and attention. Ninety-odd years of being a demon has long since mutated his mortal desires into a festering appetite. While he was alive, it was a very mundane longing for the spotlight. Being the sought-after host of his own radio show was as close as being his own boss he could realistically hope for. The masses could listen and fawn over his charisma and humor while ignorant of his champagne hue.
If he wanted more, he would have to turn to drastic measures.
Young Alastor had made the station affluent, so they could afford to get their hands on any show recording they wished. One autumn, they aired The Witch’s Tale, a trailblazer for being the first horror-themed show on the radio. It garnered controversy from the conservative crowd, but ratings didn’t lie. New Orleans loved the series.
Alastor relayed the local news in his typical rapid-fire speech, a fashionable showman’s chatter made even faster thanks to his Creole blood, and as he speed-read his script in real time, he recited a quick advertisement for Madame Jones’ Hot Comb Oil before running the magnetic carbon ribbons of The Witch’s Tale. Voices of the actors took over the air. He drew a breath from a cigarette and leaned back on his chair. Alastor’s voice was now due for a rest until the current tape ran dry.
This was his first time hearing the show as well. Short horror tales were narrated by a fictional character named Old Nancy, one of the witches from Salem. The first tale was of a Venus statue come to life to slay the son of its sculptor, the second adapted from the real life confessions of the convicted Scottish witch Isobel Gowdie, the third clearly ripped off from Stevenson’s The Bottle Imp, and so on. After each tape, Alastor came back on the air for more news, advertisements, and the occasional social commentary. A quick joke about the Nipponese making waves on the West coast, a little update on McKinley’s first year back in office.
If he were to be candid, each episode of The Witch’s Tale was a gamble of hit or miss. Some were near contrived. But a few were quite satisfactory.
Most interesting was the narrator. After each tale, Old Nancy would reveal a bit more of her backstory. She never married. She grew her own food and earned her own money selling poultices. She may or may not have slept with both men and women. Her cat was a demon familiar. Her house was constructed partly from the bones of her victims.
Alastor found himself lost in thought. A young maiden, a pregnant mother, and an old widow swam through his mind. But the fourth woman … standing apart from the others, free from the grasp of a husband’s heavy greedy fist, proudly dangerous. A woman alone, but free. The maiden, matron, and crone, and now the witch.
Suddenly, Alastor saw himself repeated four times in place of the women. He was the scrawny teenage boy, then his current self, then a wizened old man, and in place of the witch was this enchanting visage of his long-lived personal fantasy, chest thrust upwards and smile brazen.
He tapped his fingers against his stomach as a strange thought overtook him. Could one become the witch?
Could Alastor be truly free from the Man’s grasp?
Hidden deep in the winding alleyways of New Orleans, voodoo was still going strong despite the coppers’ efforts. When mother was still alive, she would buy dry goods and miscellaneous wares from a small negro outlet run by Haitian immigrants, and locals knew that the shop’s upstairs hid a small voodoo church, an open secret amongst those uninterested in contacting police for any reason, even if they themselves weren’t practitioners.
Alastor knew nothing of voodoo. Mother was Lutheran, father had apparently been a loose Catholic. Church Sundays had tapered off by the time Alastor was nine, as did house praying aside from Christmas eve, and mother was near illiterate so there was no Bible reading. He never asked her if she was still faithful after dropping the more superfluous habits. Alastor’s heart ached at the thought of mother barred from the gates of Heaven.
He heard the horror stories of this dread voodoo religion. He, himself, has recited many sensational reports of sacrificial rituals and cannibalistic orgies, almost certainly all fear-mongering bullshit, but plenty enough believed that voodoo witches and warlocks used a black magic. Cursing good Christian families to die of plague, using living shadows to ensnare children away, poppets with needles, sigils that glow, that sort of malarkey.
If I could curse people, or control a tangible shadow, it would be a right gasser, he thought to himself.
A steady list of potential victims formed in his mind. Number one, the man who abandoned his wife and child to a stricken life of poverty. Just harmless daydreaming. Maybe.
Alastor used to say to himself, ‘thank God’ that mother was such a genius, otherwise they’d never have survived.
He wonders if he would soon be swearing different oaths.
To your nose, virginity didn’t have a strong smell or energy, but innocence did. The first time the two of you met, you had sensed Alastor’s putrid, gore-soaked body roaming the hotel long before he could sense you approaching the front door, although you allowed him to believe he had the upper hand. Murderers, especially those who lusted, were very blatant. A subtle pang told you that Alastor didn’t lust for flesh like many men did. His body smelled virgin, but more telling, his powers would not be affected should that come to change. After all, only someone uncaring of an aspiration would not evolve from achieving it.
Alastor was not innocent. Not like princess Charlie. Not like the children sinner souls.
He may not have a clue what Angel Dust meant by wearing a “special sort of ring ”, but hunger had many forms.
Flesh, blood, and bone were common sacrifices made to manifest power. A human’s physiology cultivated some of its greatest energy from fats and protein, so it made sense why Alastor’s curse would force him to fuel by consuming meat. But if he were in kinder circumstances, he might have instead been encouraged to eat any other sort of matter, or not fuel himself through food at all.
Clearly, Alastor’s debtors wanted to corrupt the man beyond what murder would do to his mind and soul. The more Alastor killed, the more he ate, the more powerful he grew, and the more he’d need to eat. He became a slave to his appetite.
You wondered if it was because they couldn’t affect him through his loins, so they chose the closest alternative.
In any case, Alastor did resent his need for nourishment, just not nearly as much as he resented the actual chains. It helped that he has always found fulfillment in creating, eating, and sharing food, and there was a very good place in Hell for that kind of attitude.
Cannibal Town didn’t become a proper, distinct district until Overlord Rosie’s rise to status. The industrial revolution had created a great epidemic of poverty, and many struggling in the developing American frontier had turned to cannibalizing the dead to survive, from the children to the elderly, only tapering off when a successful ‘20’s economy rose to the rescue. Rosie turned the predominant Edwardian-era population into its current image. Walking through Cannibal Town’s streets of petticoats and boater hats, it was like stepping back into one of your past lifetimes as a New Yorker under Taft, watching Florence Lawrence in picture shows and seeing oreo cookies on the shelves for the first time.
In fact, ‘oreo’ biscuits were sold in Cannibal Town, imitating their original tin box packaging, but they were made with rendered human fat rather than pork tallow. Rosie wanted her people to embrace their partaking, rather than languish in their past sins, or hide their undying appetite. Human flesh wasn’t an addictive substance, but cannibalism certainly was. It was as habit forming as any other ritual gesture, like how Vaggie wakes up in the morning to tie her hair ribbon right-over-left, or how Husk always arranges the bar’s bottle storage just so, or how Alastor uses an old pewter pot to boil his coffee over the stove fire. Many of these antiquated cannibals treat their slaying, butchering, and eating with the same love they used to have for the Eucharist.
Alastor’s affinity for Cannibal Town wasn’t quite because he felt kinship between their cannibalism. Fondness for Rosie aside, it was the best source of properly prepared human meat for sale, trimmed and bled as thoroughly as venison chuck. Passionate cook he may be, but he never had the patience for true butchering. Especially whilst mortal, and in Hell, a victim could easily be ten feet tall with several limbs. Who aside from the butcher had time to set aside eight hours for that?
No, Alastor’s reasons and fondness for partaking wasn’t commonly shared amongst the Cannibal Town locals. Most likened it to a sexual gratification. Many saw it as an alternative way to rape the weak. Some saw it as their only outlet for frustration. Some just wanted to fit in.
And to them, cannibalism was a very social hobby. Proper ladies found great sisterhood in tearing into a corpse like starving wolves, respectable men could now exercise their libido amongst other men by delving deep into flesh as a group. But whilst Alastor, too, socialized through food, eating mortal flesh was his curse, not his indulgence.
You knew for a fact that ever since the inception of his deal, Alastor's clause for cannibalism would quickly morph into an honest taste for it, but Alastor could only hypothesize if that was the case, or he just simply lost his mind sometime after his fourth killing.
Alastor shook himself out of his reverie as he approached the door to his favorite Cannibal Town grocer, you following close behind. He had been finding himself lost in his own thoughts more and more often, lately. No doubt due to your influence.
He could have shut down in complete bewilderment, but he was Alastor, damn it all, so he will garner the bravery to take the next step forward, then the step after that, and so on.
Towards a brighter future, he dared to hope.
He opened the door for you, and the two of you entered the little store. Like all grocers before the ‘50’s, the wares weren’t self-serve. Alastor summoned a paper list, and read off what he wanted to purchase. The mustached shopkeeper brought forward each item onto the counter before ringing them up on the register, using an old exertion scale for the fresh goods. A pound of dried red beans, a rasher of salted belly, a loaf of sugar, three pounds worth of scrap shin bones, and four red capsicums. You noticed that the capsicums - the bell peppers - were the smaller, pointier variety sold during Alastor’s lifetime, before cultivation increased their size and yield. Likewise, the sugar loaf was compressed into an old-fashioned triangular cone, wrapped in paper, not a pure white but a light flaxy yellow from its residue molasses. All the manufacturer’s labels were a parody of their living equivalents. The burlap sack of Camellia-brand kidney beans was of a bloody heart with green, thorny vines named “Carnillia”, instead of the original round flower.
The shopkeeper wrapped the raw meats into their own smaller bag. It went unsaid, but they were obviously human remains. You reached forwards to carry the groceries whilst Alastor was occupied with paying, but then said to you, “Nonsense, dear,” and reclaimed the load in a gentlemanly manner. A polite, but largely useless gesture, as it’d take monolithic mass to truly test your physical prowess, and Alastor had his own increased strength as an Overlord.
In fact, the last time you struggled to carry an object with all your true power, it had created a black hole where it fell.
Part of Alastor’s original deal for power was certainly to improve his meager physical ability, as he was like many young men who pictured their ideal self boasting some petal to the metal. His lean muscles did not swell, and he couldn’t bench-press an automobile, but he did find a great force behind his punches, and his running speed, and even when he twisted open a pickle jar. It had been a relatively mundane boon compared to his showier magic, but the knowledge that you couldn’t be physically overtaken was intoxicatingly empowering. Alastor finally understood why burly brutes acted so brazen, even if his silhouette didn’t display it.
Yes, his original deal was as righteous as any young person’s plea for bravery. But whilst some may only ask for a sword, he had asked for a legion.
And by mother’s grave, he got it.
Father had been his original sacrifice. He tracked down the drunkard squatting in a Chalmette hobo jungle, and knifed him in the belly until the wretch’s blood flow slowed to a crawl. He spent all night dragging the corpse across town and to the lake, right where the most notorious of voodoo orgies were said to take place, and mimicked the manbo’s ceremony, finger painting vèvè before shouting - begging, screaming, really - for anybody or anything to answer him.
He always tries to avoid remembering what came next.
Mother hadn’t passed, yet, but she was on her deathbed. She had been fighting scarlet fever for weeks, and pneumonia had developed. Alastor himself had a brief sick spell due to contamination, but he refused to move out of the house. If his mother was about to leave this world, he wanted to be there.
Mother’s pauper’s burial was baptized in Alastor’s second killing. A eugenic small-time politician one neighborhood over, who would have never achieved his meager position if it wasn’t for connections, thanks to the scandal of marrying his fourteen-year-old niece. For this attack, Alastor let his new powers bloom freely, but his inexperience left the corpse a complete mangled mess. Indeed, the shocking state of the body was what first sparked rumors of the Butcher Of New Orleans. Named so because of the man’s conspicuously missing flesh and organs, leading the police to rightly profile the suspect as a cannibal.
Life went on. Alastor’s mind and mood matured, and he hit his stride. He grew from radio host to radio star. He made plenty of honest friendships. He found innocent fun, and also learned to refine his not-so-innocent ones. By age 37, Alastor had a celebrity career, a Cadillac automobile, a sparkling reputation, and a total body count of twenty-eight men.
A month before he would turn 38, he found himself in hell. He remembered that his first action was to look around, expecting to see his father as if the man would, by chance, be standing on the nearby street corner. He looked up, and saw the glowing celestial body that must be heaven, high above and unreachable.
He wondered if mother was simultaneously looking down. Or was she still waiting for her dutiful son to show up and join her? Alastor had made great effort to ensure that mother never knew of how much of a monster her son really was.
Slowly coming back to the present, Alastor found himself wistfully looking at the morning sky as the two of you waited for traffic to halt. The haloed planisphere was partially hidden by daytime cloud cover, but one could spot the ever present gateway to heaven just about visible.
You followed Alastor’s gaze to the skies above. As remote as heaven may seem to the eye, you knew that it wasn’t a matter of distance. After all, heaven and hell weren’t places. They were states of being. You told him so last night, since he was under the impression that with just enough power, he could track down his debtor.
Unfortunately, if a suitably powerful being didn’t want to be found, no amount of searching would work.
He had bristled at that, fur on his ears standing, and paced away.
Then spun around with renewed, fake bravado, and said he would lure them here.
“How?” you asked.
He had no idea, but just twirled his cane into both hands with a closed eye grin. Apparently, he’d think of something.
Before the night concluded, he told you that all these earth-shattering revelations would have to be mulled over a hefty serving of his favorite comfort food, so you and him would dine privately a stew of baked beans. An especially fatty and. Well. Cannibalistic recipe of his.
So it came to be that the two of you left the hotel early next morning for some shopping, which of course caught the eye of nearby Niffty, who would most certainly be relaying the latest gossip to everyone else.
Let them talk. Alastor loved being the hottest gossip topic, and the friendships you choose to keep are yours alone.
Of course, most of them suspected that there was more than friendship involved. Not the wording you’d choose, but perhaps it wasn’t inaccurate.
There was divinity between the two of you, now. Every time you’ve muddled in mortal affairs, great cosmic connections formed between your souls. Inevitable, considering who you were, but they often had great repercussions. You considered every one of them worth the trouble.
That afternoon, the two of you entered the kitchen once more, but this time you stood by and watched as Alastor prepared a kettle to hang over his fireplace. Per his request (demands), you arrived to his room at eight on the dot to his little table set with sliced bread and a decanter of whiskey. The pocket swamp beyond was darkened and dotted with lazy fireflies. A radio station played, but not from the two sat on his bookshelf, nor emitting from Alastor himself, just directionless in the air as if the room itself breathed radio.
“Please, come on in,” he bowed, just a tad overweening. Say what you will about the man, he bounces back from existential despair pretty gracefully.
One of the seats slid out on its own accord. You sat obligingly to the tantalizing smell of spice, partially masking your ability to detect the human remains in the stew. As Alastor sat across from you, the disembodied radio chatter in the air twitched frequencies to instead play a wordless ballad.
“I took the liberty of choosing tonight’s choice of drink,” he said, pouring whiskey for the both of you. “I know it’s a bit early in the evening for the mule, but indulge this pitiful sinner.”
“It’s your meal, after all.” And true enough, Alastor stood no ceremony in digging a spoon deep into his bowl. Alcohol had its particular effects on you, so you reversed the fermentation of your whiskey into a poof of evaporated ethanol and a wet pile of sugar, mostly to amuse yourself, also to sneak a pinch of malt into your bow to cut some of the fat. Alastor had made the stew so rich, you could probably alchemize a toddler from the lipids.
You watched as Alastor relished deeply in his first spoonful. Fats, you remembered, was sometimes a more affordable grocery than sugar or flour, depending on the slaughter season. A poor Alastor would have grown up being treated to cheap, streaky bacon more often than beignets or hot cocoa.
“Just as mother made it,” he sighed wistfully, as if reading your mind. Far from the first time he’s mentioned his mother aloud, but before it had always been a set up for a jape, his comedian nature never at rest, and not unfiltered sentimentality. He must know that it was useless to hide secrets from you.
You forwent the malt sugar to taste the dish as it was intended. Surprisingly, it was shockingly laced with pure intentions that caressed your tongue and made tears well up behind your eyes. You didn’t think Alastor was capable of it.
It tasted like love.
Maybe he had more of a chance than you first thought.
Supper continued throughout the night. Alastor downed one, two, and was working on his third bowl before the conversation turned to the elephant in the room.
“- and when I kill the wretches souls who’ve clipped me like a duckling, I’ll -”
“Cool the jets, Alastor. We’d have to find them, first.” You stepped in before he could wind himself up.
“See, I’ve been thinking,” he took a hearty swig from his third glass of whiskey, "take it from a man with a couple of his own eggs in the basket. You know what makes a debtor knock on the front door faster than a twinkle?”
“What?”
He grinned angrily. “If he thinks there’s more debt to be had. You spot a way to keep your favorite minion closer to your chest for longer, you take it before someone else can.”
With a twist of his wrist, he downed his glass and slammed it none too quietly on the table. His eyes no longer meeting yours and burning holes into the wall over your elbow. “So! You help me advertise my devilish self as desperate for another deal, or perhaps just a clever amendment clause or two, and I promise you, they’ll show up.”
“And then what’ll we do?”
“End their wretched lives! What else?”
“Life began millions of years ago, and it hasn’t stopped since. Your jailer has long since learned to take advantage of that.” You calmly lounged with loosely crossed legs and arms, while Alastor was beginning to hover over the table like an angry ape. “There’s no way to ‘end their life’ in a manner you’d care about.”
With his face so close, you could smell the whiskey on his tongue along with an unfortunate whiff of antiquated dental hygiene standards. He wasn’t quite yet drunk, but was certainly not sober.
Your words gave him pause, but a radio star never let dead air stagnate. “Well, perhaps it was never a matter of killing them. No proper creditor makes their debtor more powerful than he.”
You said, “Your leash has its share of loopholes and weakness, like all contracts do. There’s never a way to fully avoid them, so most make additions that forbid them.”
Green stitches all along his maw. In one blink, you saw Alastor in his full pitiful glory, glowing neon-bright inverted hues, rotted body held together haphazardly with unforgiving threads. In another blink, Alastor was his normal outward self.
Back and forth you flipped your vision, trying to find any clues or conclusions. Snipping the threads would just make him fall apart. There must be a gentler conclusion.
Suddenly, you remembered what he said. “Alastor, how many debtors do you own?”
“Oh, I can’t remember the exact number. Ninety years is a long time. The answer’s somewhere in my ledger, I’m sure,” he waved a hand.
“Lend me a look. Please,” you added when Alastor’s glare turned vicious, “it’s important. You can trust me.”
“Now, how in the world would my own roster matter to my predicament?”
You leaned forward, meeting Alastor’s couched posture in the middle. “I made a promise, didn’t I? I promised you true liberty. If you want my help, then let me help.” You kept your voice low as if whispering a secret, even though no one was around to overhear. No one Alastor could see, anyways.
A heartbeat passed, then another. Then, with a great crackling of old vertebrae like he had suddenly aged decades, Alastor reigned in his defenses.
Has he ever yielded so completely since granted his powers? No wonder it felt so dreadful, like shaking off a carpet of cobwebs.
Never let it be known that Alastor was a chap who couldn’t learn something new, you heard him think bitterly. A dry exhale aired throughout the room as elongated shadows retreated, electric bulbs shone brighter, and the fireplace changed from eye-searing blacklight back to its natural warm glow.
Nonchalant smile back on his face, Alastor wiped his hands with a napkin and stood.
“Ah well. No time like the present, then?”
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