#saezuru chapter 53

[danmeibrainrot]

So painful seeing him not take any chances again, staying up to keep watch in case Yashiro leaves him behind again. I seriously hope Doumeki gets proper closure ASAP, at least some kind of assurance to provide a bit relief from the very apparent PTSD soon😭

#doumeki chikara #doumeki #saezuru #saezuru tori wa habatakanai #twittering birds never fly #yashiro #yashiro x doumeki #yoneda kou #saezuru spoilers #saezuru chapter 53

[fondlylupin]

my whole soul is sobbing right now

#saezuru spoilers #saezuru tori wa habatakanai #saezuru chapter 53 #yoneda kou #manga #yaoi

[neartheeasternfence]

Doumeki Recalls Its Deepest Moment

Impressions; Chapter 53

The most relieving thing about chapter 53 is that Doumeki puts his private feelings into words. He had to lie to Muraji.

Transgressing the business and personal taboo, he gave in to Yashiro’s demand. And then he watches Yashiro’s face for a while as he sleeps almost innocently with his mouth slightly open. Doumeki does not look repentant yet affects an air of resignation. He might be thinking that he is anything more than a living vibrator for Yashiro, asking himself if he were still the same as his father, or anticipating what will happen when Tsunakawa knows about this. But there was no other thing he could do. On the second night of their reunion, he ran after Yashiro suddenly got out of the car and asked if Yashiro wished anything for him (ch.45, vol.8). On the third night, he complied with Yashiro grabbed Doumeki and threw Kamiya out (ch.48, vol.8). I think Doumeki must realize that he scarcely resists Yashiro in cases of crucially, and its reason -- his emotion toward Yashiro.

He takes Yashiro’s phone, answers a call from Nanahara in an exceedingly curt manner. Nevertheless, he cannot help asking if Yashiro-san is in any bad condition. At some future time, Nanahara will infer everything, just as he did four years ago. The cautionary advice he has given Doumeki is almost the same as Muraji’s. As long as he belongs to Sakura Family, it is the Family to which Doumeki owes allegiance. His eyes put a doggo-taste expression with his having been preached by the former aniki [elder brother].

Kamiya has always been concerned about Doumeki’s use of words. To use honorifics or not, and if we do, to what extent? Since it is taigu hyogen [expressions of treatment], it should reflect how one person treats the other and appropriately assess the distance between the one and the other. There may be times when we cannot discern the distance well, when it is troublesome to find it, or when we want to keep our distance from someone. The safest way in such situations is to continue to use polite words [teinei-go*]. It may not express active friendliness, yet at least it is not being disrespectful.

Doumeki is basically a polite person. In Sakura Family, he seems to have tried to be equidistant to everyone -- or he did not try to get close to anyone. He must be emotionally involved with Niki, while it is unthinkable that he would act overly familiar with Young Miss, and her father has already given him a caution (ch.37, vol.7). He also keeps his distance from Kamiya, who has become his buddy (more precisely, his secondary). However, he sometimes missed honorifics for Kamiya. For example, when he was assigned to search for Kido and was thinking about the possibility of closing into his old haunts Shinseikai (ch.38, vol.7). Also, even after their agreement to stop using honorifics for each other (ch.40, vol.7), Doumeki had some use of them. For instance, when both Yashiro and Doumeki stayed over at Tsunakawa’s, the next morning of their reuniting (ch.44, vol.8). The time his ‘expressions of treatment’ are disturbed, it seems to be the time he has any turbulence in his mind.

He has consistently used polite words to Yashiro since their reunion. Four years ago, Doumeki’s using words had been much more polite. He never had addressed ‘Yashiro-san,’ and his use of anata for Yashiro as the second person pronoun had been too much. After the affair of chapters 24-25 (vol.5), for Doumeki, the psychological distance between him and Yashiro had grown closer and closer (in proportion to the physical one), and that had been reflected in his use of words (the repeating use of anata), which had made Yashiro irritating bitter. Just because they had slept together -- indeed it had been a long and passionate affair, and Yashiro had shown reactions to extreme and been aware of it himself -- still, for him, sex had not a means of being truly intimate. Rather, he has separated the two...

Yashiro coming down from Doumeki’s room with his bangs down, looks as if a high schooler. Doumeki dislikes exposing Yashiro like that to the public. Therein lies Doumeki’s inner waver, which is why he misses honorifics altogether at this point. Yashiro, who has been so pleasured by Doumeki to the extent of losing his consciousness, would be someone Doumeki holds even dearer, wants to keep to himself more, and wants to protect more. It is also a reflection of his view of sex and his sense of responsibility. I am not sure which comes first, the physical closeness or the psychological one, like the chicken and the egg. I think we do it for various purposes, and sometimes for no purpose, but the movement of Doumeki’s mind could be relatively more conventional.

Meanwhile, Yashiro wonders why he was taken away also from Kido. Doumeki said that he took Yashiro away from Inami to keep from leaking the information to Inami…(ch.46, vol.8). Yashiro comments, “I had no information to give to that guy (even if I had done it with Kido).” The facial expression Doumeki shows is superb. He adopts a few words to reply, “I will be angry.” His attitude could be called “so-what,” defiantly, or unrepentant. It is the same as saying that he does not like Yashiro doing it with any other man, that HE will do it if Yashiro has the needs, or “I have done it, right?  Any insufficiency?” Yashiro, after all, does not seem to perceive sex as an exclusive act. On the other hand, his body now responds only to Doumeki, and he himself has spent the four days remembering how Doumeki was four years ago, and how he touched him.

Yamakawa is located, and Yashiro inquires Inami about the man (Kai) who keeps Yamakawa. Despite Yashiro no longer being willing to meet Inami, Yashiro tries to agree to the meeting for the information, then Doumeki takes the phone from behind and says he will go. Yashiro cannot stop Doumeki anymore, only, blurts to Nanahara out (which is actually more like bragging??). Although the affair in chapter 52 does not solve business and personal conflicts, it is not meaningless to either side.

---------------------------------------- Appendix: Taigu hyogen [expressions of treatment] include ‘polite words [*teinei-go],’ ‘respectful words [sonkei-go],’ and ‘humble words [kenjo-go].’ It is not difficult to operate ‘polite words.’ In most cases, it only needs to add “desu” or “masu” at the end of a sentence. They are monotonous and mechanical. Using both ‘respectful and humble words,’ one is able to represent one’s taigu hyogen in a flexible manner.

‘Respectful words’ are used for the agent of the action, while ‘humble words’ are for the recipient of the action, and both (sometimes) have their own vocabulary. In the era of feudal class systems, they were indispensable and widely used. These days, people often misuse them, even adults who use this language as their first language.

#saezuru tori wa habatakanai #saezuru chapter 53 #鳴鳥不飛 #twittering birds never fly

[lustfulcat]

OFFICIAL SAEZURU CHAPTER 53 SPOILER

Yashiro tells Doumeki that he's surprised he's jealous over The Kido Incident when he doesn't have anything to tell Kido anyway. He didn't expect Doumeki to freak out about someone other than Inami.

Honestly, this is so adorable bc Doumeki is like ??? and you can see in his eyes he's wondering how obviously jealous he was/maybe he just got called out for being in love. Meanwhile, Yashiro brings it up and then goes silent like HMMPH I AM THINKING ABOUT YOUR ATTENTION AND MAYBE I WANT MORE BUT I WON'T SAY THAT. This is going to be a snarkfest I can feel it right now.

Hopefully Doumeki gives Yashiro an answer that makes him pause, like he did in volume 1.

#saezuru tori wa habatakanai #yoneda kou #saezuru spoilers #spoilers #chapter 53

[nendoshinkai]

It's been a while since they've been all dressed up. I finally got my copies of ihr Hertz! Now I can start working on Chapter 53. LOL!

#saezuru tori wa habatakanai #saezuru nendoroids #nendoshinkai #yashiro and doumeki in love #saezuru spoilers #nendoroid mods #saezuru chapter 53 nendo-style

[cosmicjoke]

Okay, chaptere 53 of Saezuru. Whew, that was a LOT. Where to even start. Well, firstly, Tsunakawa's man telling Doumeki to keep his distance from Yashiro, and Doumeki telling him Yashiro is "just a guest", definitely presents a coming conflict.

Doumeki is having a harder and harder time maintaining his act of indifference toward Yashiro, and Yashiro himself has started to notice, calling Doumeki out on it. He's prodding him here, I think, in order to see just how genuine Doumeki's indifference toward him is. I think Yashiro wants desperately to believe that Doumeki still cares for him. He keeps thinking back to four years ago, when Doumeki was so gentle. He's wondering here, if Doumeki really doesn't care about him anymore, why is he getting so angry whenever Yashiro sleeps with anyone other than him. The difficulty, I think, is that Yashiro seems to conclude that Doumeki is angry at him in general, and that's the reason he isn't treating Yashiro like he used to. Once again, it seems to me that Yashiro is blaming himself for Doumeki's attitude shift. I feel like this adds weight to the idea that Yashiro believes he's driven Doumeki to hate him, or at least to lose his feelings for him, and so once again, Yashiro is left feeling despondent and alone.

Of course, given that we get a few panels at the start of this chapter showing Doumeki is anything but indifferent toward Yashiro, thinking of them having sex, looking at Yashiro fondly while he sleeps, etc... we know he still has the same feelings he always did. I just wish Doumeki would show that to Yashiro, because as I'll get into in a second here, his cold demeanor is starting to wear Yashiro down and, I think, drive him deeper into uncertainty and resignation.

Doumeki exposed his true feelings to Nanahara, incidentally, when he asked him if Yashiro is unwell. Nanahara is a sharp guy, so what he says later to Yashiro, about thinking Doumeki hasn't actually changed all that much, isn't surprising. But we see Yashiro get angry at Nanahara for saying such, because he isn't aware of Doumeki asking after his health, and is himself becoming more and more distraught over Doumeki's continued coldness toward him. It culminates here in Yashiro saying he "doesn't care" where it is Doumeki is going, and expressing frustration and annoyance with Doumeki's attitude. Of course, we know Yashiro cares deeply, so I don't expect his claim of detachment to last long, especially if he finds out where Doumeki is actually going, and what Inami said to him on the phone.

I have no idea what's going to be on that tape, other than it's likely Yashiro is a compromised position sexually. Inami seems to be aware that leaking that sort of tape wouldn't, in and of itself, matter much to Yashiro, given his general reputation. But I think Inami is aware that whatever is on it will be very upsetting to Doumeki, and given Doumeki's reactions recently, and in the past, to Yashiro being sexually abused or just having sex with other men, I think he's right. I think Inami believes that showing whatever's on this tape to Doumeki might make Doumeki turn on Yashiro. Of course, it won't. But I do wonder what it is, and what Doumeki's response will be. He might kill Inami, or he might decide to become even more distant from Yashiro, given what he knows about Tsunakawa's attitude toward Yashiro, combined with whatever he sees on this tape. I just have a bad feeling, overall. And then I wonder what Yashiro's response to all this will be. He believes Doumeki is angry at him, and I think he maybe also believes that Doumeki's anger is coming from a feeling of disgust at Yashiro's sexual behavior. Maybe Yashiro is starting to think Doumeki no longer likes him because he's begun to form the same attitudes of other Yakuza, that is, seeing him as some sort of sexual deviant or a public toilet, so to speak, something beneath consideration or respect.

So if there's something on this tape that's really ugly, that shows Yashiro being raped or something similar, and Yashiro finds out that Doumeki has seen it, he might panic and feel like any chance of regaining Doumeki's love is even more out of reach. Depending on how Doumeki reacts to it, assuming he sees it at all, it could also reinforce that belief in Yashiro. Either way, it's just a bad situation all around. Inami's seeming excitement at Doumeki coming to see him also doesn't sit well with me. He knows Doumeki could kill him easily, but he doesn't seem at all worried about that. So he could be planning something else as well. Basically, I just don't trust Inami. He's a complete psychopath. I'm also wondering who that waiter is that was listening in on Nanahara and Yashiro in the restaurant. I've got a bad feeling about that too. Is he part of Yamakawa's group? And if so, does that mean Nanahara and Yashiro are going to be attacked while Doumeki is away? There's just a lot going on here, and it's all pretty concerning.

Great chapter, as always. It's incredibly dense this time around. I'll have to re-read it and think about it more.

Also, just an addition. Yashiro thinks "With that curse, I'm constantly searching for the old you.", after recalling what Doumeki said to him four years ago, "So you need only me. So you want only me.". I think Yashiro is referring to the fact that Doumeki got his wish, that Yashiro only wants him now. He's ruined other men for him, essentially. I think, if Doumeki would just prove he's the same man he always was, Yashiro would give himself over to him fullyheartedly. But Doumeki has changed, or so Yashiro believes. He wants the old Doumeki, the Doumeki that once treated him gently. But again, it seems like that Doumeki is gone, and Yashiro doesn't know how to get him back. He can see Doumeki is angry, but whether he realizes that anger is coming from jealousy, or because Doumeki is disgusted by him, I don't know. Yashiro knows something is up with Doumeki, but each time the old Doumeki seems to peak through, the indifferent mask comes back down, and throws Yashiro for a loop. It's his hot and cold, back and forth signals that I think is making Yashiro so despondent. One moment, there seems to be some kind of hope, and the next, all hope seems lost. I think that's why Yashiro is so angry and upset by the end of this chapter.

One more addition. Yashiro's reaction to Inami telling him to come to him to get the information says it all, doesn't it? He's so resigned to it, but so clearly doesn't want it. Yashiro is still struggling so much with having any sense of self-worth, I think, and it's because of things like this. People using and abusing him, and thinking they have a right to it. The fact that Yashiro continues to accept it speaks to his own, low sense of self-worth, which really breaks my heart. Doumeki at least seems to realize that Yashiro needs protection from this, from letting himself be used by others.

#saezuru tori wa habatakanai #twittering birds never fly #chapter 53 #Yashiro #Doumeki

[saezurusteve]

Hello SaezuruSteve team, I hope that you're all doing well! ❤

I was wondering if you are planning to release chapter 53 and 54? I always love your high quality scans though I always buy the magazine.

And I also wanna say thank you so much for all of your hard work.

Hello Anon, and thank you!

I want to release chapters 53, 54, and the impending 55, at least I think I do. I'm sure my team would like to do so as well, at least I think they do. However, life is a shit sandwich... and sometimes you just don't have enough bread to not taste the shit.

The Steves have suffered some losses of friends, family, homes and countries. It's been a fucking horrible-ass year, in fact it's been a horrible-ass TWO years! And even though I scanned chapter 53, chapter 54 is still sitting here untouched because I lost my copies of it for about a month. Grief and misery have a way of blinding you to the fact that you put it on the table by the door when you came in, and even though you are looking right at it, it's invisible because for a moment it was the last thing I wanted to think about.

Maybe things happen for a reason, and I'm so grateful that @itwearsadress came along and saved everyone from having to wait for the chapter. It's been a sigh of relief.

As for us... once the rain stops... I will answer with a strong and hopeful "Maybe? Probably? Perhaps?" Because scanning Saezuru sure has been fun and I would hate to not see it through to the end.

I'll keep you posted!

Love Always,

Steve

P.S. Be good kids and do what @itwearsadress asks of you, and don't fuck up a good thing! ;D

P.P.S.

Someone dropped this:

What the frick? Someone dropped this too???? Must be Saezuru Month! ;D

#saezuru tori wa habatakanai #saezurusteve #anon asks #Don't worry I'm not offing myself haha #Happy Saezuru Month 55!

[crayonkant]

Saezuru Chapter Titles

Well, my archival obsession with the chapter covers continues. Here are all titles to date as of October 2023.

Legend, based on the illustration:

Yashiro - italics Doumeki - bold font Yashiro and Doumeki - blue font

[1] Defiant, or twisted, there's nothing else to do... but continue living.

[2] Unconsciously, love is born.

[3] Sentimental, irritating, suffocating.

[4] Quietly, secretly... passionately.

[5] Just staying by your side...

[6] So close, yet our hearts are afar.

[7] There are things I want to tell you, but I have no words to convey them...

[8] You don't know how important someone is to you until you're about to loose them...

[9] It's so cold, it gives people a lancinating kind of pain, yet, there is an unspeakable sense of comfort. (note: unusual color cover with Misumi and Yashiro's naked legs)

[10] Back then, when he was still a nobody...

[11] Those unseen wounds, hurting little by little.

[12] Something is about to change...

[13] Downtrodden, life continues -

[14] The past... begins to stir - (note: unusual color cover with a bird's pov and tiny unrecognizable figures)

[15] (no text)

[16] I want to protect... I want to be protected... this contradiction is - (note: unusual cover with story panel of Hirata on the ground and speech bubbles. One bubble could be read as continuation of the title : "[this contradiction is - ] ... pretty dangerous".)

[17] I don't want to vanish from your gaze. (note: unusual cover with story panel and speech bubbles. D: "You could say I'm no match for the force of this person." Y: "I don't want to vanish from your gaze".)

[18] Everyone goes on living with the weight of the past on their shoulders. (note: unusual Nanahara? cover)

[19] Even the smallest things can alter fate.

[20] Someone's hatred towards someone Someone's feelings towards someone - (note: unusual car chase cover)

[21] no cover

[22] The time for everything to change has come -

[23] Even though all I want is to love him it will only hurt him...

[24] I can't allow myself to be touched by those hands

[25] What is this The way this is Is not the way that I know (note: crazy double page cover that will get its own post)

[26] nothing

[27] When it's too late I always think... "Why..?"

[28] A past that can never be erased Memories that won't be forgotten

[29] The feelings that ensnare and the feelings that are real... In the end, will they be revealed as love, or...

[30] Little by little... Things start to go crazy.

[31] So many thoughts, So much anticipation, All blending together...

[32] There's something I've always wanted to know.

[33] I've never needed Anyone Or any thing

[34] nothing

[35] Endings and beginnings Beginnings and endings (note: could also be read "Beginnings and endings Endings and beginnings")

[36] nothing

[37] 4 years have passed... and time flew by in parallel lines

[38] Living under the same sky

[39] Finally, things are moving

[40] There is something in the memory that can't be erased.

[41] I never planned on meeting him again

[42] Feelings are aching

[43] Things that changed Things that haven't And some things that cannot be changed.

[44] Yashiro and Doumeki's On equal footing New relationship Begins! (note: strangest title, so different in style than all others)

[45] After being separated for 4 years, The thing Doumeki saw was...

[46] I thought I fully understood that guy...

[47] What is it you desire?

[48] Pretending as if nothing happened

[49] Even if our positions changed, The feelings are...

[50] Wanting to destroy everything (note: unusual cover, portrait of Yashiro with only Doumeki's gloved hand in the picture...)

[51] I didn't know. Was this what I wished for? (note: unusual cover showing only legs, assuming it's the both of them)

[52] nothing

[53] What I really wished for was...

[54] For us both, There are things we don't know

#saezuru tori wa habatakanai #twittering birds never fly #saezuru analysis #yashiro #doumeki #yoneda kou #saezuru chapter covers #trying too hard to find patterns

[kyrieren]

Doumeki's irezumi

Irezumi (入れ墨, lit. 'inserting ink') is the Japanese word for tattoo, and is used in English to refer to a distinctive style of Japanese tattooing.

In chapter 53, Doumeki's back tattoo is revealed to be a "celestial maiden". Typically, irezumi incorporates motifs such as dragons, Buddhas, samurai, koi fish, and more, each carrying specific cultural and symbolic meanings referred to as wabori (和彫り). Intrigued by Doumeki's tattoo, I went asking if Doumeki’s tattoo is identified as any wabori and received responses suggesting it could represent either Nuwa (女媧) or Benzaiten (弁才天), given the details of snake and the stone in the goddess’ hands. After some research, Nuwa (女媧) seems to be more aligned with the story than Benzaiten (弁才天). However, I still present both of them and their possible interpretations in the story.

I. Nuwa (女媧)

Nüwa, is a mother goddess, cultural heroine in Chinese folk religion, Chinese Buddhism, Confucianism and Taoism. She is credited with creating humanity from clay by the river bank and repairing the Pillar of Heaven. Let’s focus on the myth of “repairing the Pillar of Heaven”.

The world of the first beings was very different from ours now. The earth was just in its infancy and was only separated from the sky by four very large pillars. One day, Gonggong (龔工), the god of water, and the god of fire, Zhurong (祝融) became locked in a massive battle that would determine the ruler of heaven. Gonggong, who was motivated by evil, ultimately lost the fight and crashed his head against Buzhou mountain—one of the four pillars holding up the heavens. The earth began to tremble and the pillar collapsed and ripped a hole in the sky. At this point, the earth was completely in tatters from Zhurong and Gonggong’s epic battle. Fires had scorched the earth, water was pouring incessantly from the hole in the sky. The ancient Chinese historian Sima Qian (司馬遷), recorded the following account of Nüwa’s heroic deed: “Hereupon Nüwa melted stones of the five colours to repair the heavens, and cut off the feet of the tortoise to set upright the four extremities of the earth. Gathering the ashes of reeds she stopped the flooding waters, and thus rescued the land.” From that moment on, the water in the heavenly palace no longer cascades on earth to cause harm to the people.

In mythology, Nuwa played a crucial role in repairing the sky hole and preventing heavenly water from pouring onto the earth. As rain – the water from the sky, the befallen suffering, is one of the main themes of Saezuru, the parallel is pretty evident. Given Doumeki’s persistence to stay in the yakuza world and his decision to have a wabori that big on his back, he is doing everything he can to manifest his devotion to stay on Yashiro’s side, end his suffering and protect him from any potential harms, even though up to the newest developments of the story, it doesn’t seem likely at all. They’re both confused and hurting each other.

II. Benzaiten (弁才天)

Benzaiten ( 弁才天 ) is the “goddess of eloquence" who originated mainly from the Hindu Indian Saraswati, goddess of speech, the arts, and learning. While Benzaiten retains many of the Indic attributes of Saraswati (as patron of music, the arts, eloquence, knowledge), she also has many unique aspects, roles and functions which never applied to the Indian goddess. As such, Benzaiten is now also associated with dragons, snakes, local Japanese deities, wealth, fortune, protection from disease and danger, and the protection of the state. Benzaiten is depicted in a number of ways in Japanese art, one of which is her portrait wielding a sword and a wish-granting jewel (cintāmaṇi). Eloquence and wish-granting? I haven’t been able to draw the parallel to Saezuru yet.

So I’d stick to the interpretation that Doumeki’s tattoo is Nuwa.

#saezuru tori wa habatakanai #saezuru #twittering birds never fly #doumeki chikara #囀る鳥は羽ばたかない #irezumi #celestial maiden #nuwa #mythology #yoneda kou #yaoi manga #tattoos

[novabl]

Now that I have read and processed ch 56, I want to touch on whether Yashiro was okay or not with the “just sex” declaration Doumeki gave. While I think it is okay for that moment, I don’t think Yashiro saw Doumeki’s love through his actions in this chapter. Just like Doumeki can’t read Yashiro’s mind, I don’t think we should expect Yashiro to be able to read Doumeki’s. Yashiro has struggled with the idea that Doumeki hates him since they reunited. In ch 53, after Doumeki kissed him and they had sex, Yashiro thinks that Doumeki hates him and mournfully thinks back to Doumeki’s love confession back in volume 5. To go from that to being able to understand Doumeki’s love without any kind of verbal confirmation is not my interpretation of Yashiro at all. I don’t think Yashiro is angsting over what Doumeki said right now but we have to remember Yashiro’s history. He has been used for sex his entire life and that melancholic smile, to me, is Yashiro accepting a familiar pain. While saezuru contains a large amount of ambiguity, it is still a love story at the core and while he may not have gotten a love confession in this chapter, Doumeki gave him a glimpse of the old him with the cigarette line. With that glimpse and the potential gentle sex, I think Yashiro can gain the confidence to eventually face his fears.

[danmeibrainrot]

Saezuru ch 53 preview is out 🎉😭

#doumeki chikara #doumeki #saezuru #saezuru tori wa habatakanai #twittering birds never fly #yashiro #yashiro x doumeki #yoneda kou #saezuru chapter 53

[neartheeasternfence]

#saezuru tori wa habatakanai #chapter 53 #twittering birds never fly #鳴鳥不飛

[hantev]

Spoil Me! Saezuru Tori Wa Habatakanai

Anyone read chapter 53 of Saezuru Tori Wa Habatakanai? Need spoiler, any spoiler. The wait is killing me. Also, can I know the implication of the contact lens at the end of chapter 52? What does it imply and is it significant? Skimmed the manga because I am a faint-hearted human being who couldn't stand too much sadness, and the manga is the very definition of sadness and I couldn't bear to torture myself, so I would love it if you give me an explanation. Thanks.

#saezuru tori wa habatakanai

[jantohaven]

Tagged by @teaboyofficeboy. Thanks!

THE LAST: 1. Drink: water 2. Phone call: my friend 3. Text message: To a friend : ‘Let's have Attack on Titan marathon at my place’ 4. Song you listened to: Hedwig and the Angry Inch soundtrack 'Wicked Little Town' 5. Time you cried: I don't remember, I'm on Prozac

HAVE YOU: 6. Dated someone twice: no 7. Kissed someone and regretted it: no 8. Been cheated on: no 9. Lost someone special: no 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: yes

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS: 12. Purple 13. Grey 14. Sepia

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU: 15. Made new friends: no 16. Fallen out of love: no 17. Laughed until you cried: no 18. Found out someone was talking about you: yes 19. Met someone who changed you: no 20. Found out who your friends are: ehm...no 21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: don't have fb

GENERAL: 22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: Don't have fb 23. Do you have any pets: once had a parrot and 9 fishes in a tank (named every single one of them, btw). 24. Do you want to change your name: wanted to, but not anymore 25. What did you do for your last Birthday: nothing, watched news on a telly 26. What time did you wake up: and stayed awake? 11.00 am 27. What were you doing at midnight last night: reading new chapter of 'Saezuru Tori wa Habatakanai' 28. Name something you can’t wait for: the name of that 'dead' characher from Torchwood 5 to be announced 29. When was the last time you saw your mom: yesterday 30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: i wish i could be born in another country :) 31. What are you listening right now: 'Hedwig and the Angry Inch' movie soundtrack album 32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: there are no 'Toms' where i come from 33. Something that is getting on your nerves: i wouldn't know where to begin 34. Most visited Website: recently tumblr and youtube

LOST QUESTIONS. I JUST PUT IN RANDOM INFO ABOUT ME

35. Mole/s: yes

36. Mark/s: scars? no

37. Childhood dream: becoming an archeologist ; visiting Great Wall of China

38. Haircolor: black

39. Long or short hair: short

40. Do you have a crush on someone: no

41. What do you like about yourself: ability to question

42. Piercings:  only ears

43. Bloodtype: B positive

44. Nickname: Misha

45. Relationship status: single

46. Zodiac: cancer

47. Pronouns: she (don't really care)

48. Favorite TV Show: Torchwood!

49. Tattoos: I'm not steady(is it the right word?) enough to decide on a tattoo

50. Right or left hand: right hand

51. Surgery: no

52. Hair dyed in different color: sometimes in a bit lighter color

53. Sport: too boring

55. Vacation: in Germany last summer. Not much of a vacation though (was preparing for exams)

56. Pair of trainers: I don't think I have one. Perhaps I could find one old pair though

MORE GENERAL: 57. Eating: ice-cream 58. Drinking: green tea 59. I’m about to: post another Janto chibi artwork 61. Waiting for: uni admission letters 62. Want: to live in a better society 63. Get married: nope 64. Career: having a constant income would be nice. Not so much of a career person

WHICH IS BETTER 65. Hugs or kisses: hugs 66. Lips or eyes: eyes 67. Shorter or taller: taller 68. Older or younger:  little bit older 70. Nice arms or nice stomach: probably stomach? 71. Sensitive or loud: sensitive 72. Hook up or relationship: relationship 73. Troublemaker or hesitant: hesitant

HAVE YOU EVER: 74. Kissed a stranger: no 75. Drank hard liquor: yes 76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: never lost any of them 78. Sex in the first date: no 79. Broken someone’s heart: no 80. Had your heart broken: no 81. Been arrested: no 82. Cried when someone died: yes 83. Fallen for a friend: no

DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 84. Yourself: not so much 85. Miracles: no 86. Love at first sight: no. it could be a coincidence though, if what you have first thought of a person happens to be true 87. Santa Claus:  no , still want to visit Lapland though just to make sure 88. Kiss on the first date: no 89. Angels: no

OTHER: 90. Current best friends name: can't choose one 91. Eyecolor: Bluish green 92. Favorite movie: '5 Centimeters per Second', 'Goodbye Lenin', 'Hedwig and the Angry Inch', 'Les Chansons d'amour'. Love all of them the same amount.

tagging: ehm, i'm new here and probably everyone who follows me has already been tagged :)

[cosmicjoke]

Unfortunately I think we’re shown doumeki’s convo with muraji to show more reasons for doumeki’s hesitance to being vulnerable around yashiro. I suspect there will be more distance between yashiro and doumeki since it doesn’t make much sense for them to get together before we even get to the tsunakawa okuyama fight. Though I don’t think yashiro would give up on doumeki at this point unless doumeki told him he didn’t love him anymore. He made such great progress this chapter.

Yeah, I suspect we're going to see more distance put between Yashiro and Doumeki at this point as well, though not willingly on either side. I just worry about how Yashiro will take that, with Doumeki not being forthcoming about his feelings. If he pushes Yashiro further away at this point, well, we see how frustrated and upset Yashiro already is at the end of this chapter. He wants so much for the Doumeki he knew to still be there, but circumstances aren't allowing it. Doumeki is really being torn between his duty to Tusnakawa and his love for Yashiro. But yeah, I don't think Yashiro is going to give up on Doumeki at all. It just feels like things are coming to a head now, and anything could happen. The situation seems very dangerous and uncertain to me.

#saezuru tori wa habatakanai #twittering birds never fly #chapter 53

[saezurusteve]

Saezuru Chapter 52!

One of the few chapters without an actual title page!

Once again, it's spoiler eve! I expect no one to get any sleep (except Yashiro in this chapter!) I expect us all to be bleary-eyed and miserable tomorrow at work and to survive off the energy of a few hopeful images! (hint, hint!! Come on fandom!!!)

As always, very special thanks to Team Steve, you are my meat and my potatoes! My mac and my cheese. My chicken and my waffles! We've starved for so long and we are finally being fed!! Itadakimasu!

Special thanks to the Saezuru Fandom for your patience and your love during our darkest hours.

Be well all! We'll see you for Chapter 53!

#saezuru tori wa habatakanai #saezuru scanlations #saezurusteve #twittering birds never fly #saezuru chapter 52