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neartheeasternfence · 3 months
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Doumeki Sells Something That Is Not Oil
Impressions; Chapter 54
When Mama first appeared in the full dress (ch.38, vol.7), she seemed to be possibly in her 40s or so (mature or toshima [aged]), but in reality, she must be much younger. Kamiya tells her she is not suited for this business, and she talks to herself the same thing. She may have been told the same thing by someone else, or she might know someone likewise in an unsuitable business.
Yashiro is tangled with Kai’s men and boasts that he was not ‘educated’ to give personal information out to people he did not know well. Both Yashiro and Nanahara are proud of their status as “regularly ‘educated’ yakuza (currently, quasi-constituent members),” and for them, the street gangs are nothing more than hoodlums. Later, Yashiro says it was lucky Doumeki left the scene because they knew his face. Nanahara replies, “Where is that guy ‘selling oil’?” Yashiro looks away and mutters, “He would have gone to sell something that is not oil.” “Selling oil” means “talking unnecessarily and neglecting one’s work,” and picking a fight with another is called “selling a fight.” Yashiro looks perplexed that Doumeki has been taking one part of his problem on his shoulders.
Doumeki became more ‘protective’ of Yashiro after having an affair with no excuse in chapter 52. From another viewpoint, there are underlying ownership and control. Yashiro has always had a strong aversion to them. I think his childhood experience had been the epitome of “being owned and controlled by sex,” and as he had grown up, he had tried to regain (at least) ‘agency’ in sex (if he was unable to refuse it). He has wanted to do it roughly, to be even gang raped and aimed to derive pleasure from it (and indeed he could). But now, Yashiro is going to give himself over to Doumeki’s ‘protection.’ It is true that Doumeki is no longer his subordinate and cannot give him orders. Also, the reunion and the subsequent relationship between the two is moderately business-related and is difficult to handle as private alone. However, there must also be the inner transformation of Yashiro. The indiscriminate pleasure for him has been lost since the night with Doumeki four years ago. While he has regained it by Doumeki, it is not indiscriminate anymore.
Tsunakawa knew Kai. The fact has been immediately brought to Doumeki. So Inami has had little new information to offer Doumeki. That means, in short, Doumeki comes to Inami almost for Yashiro. He destroys and wrests whatever Yashiro’s video in Inami’s hands, and tells him never to meet ano-hito again. It is like a plea.
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neartheeasternfence · 4 months
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Doumeki Recalls Its Deepest Moment
Impressions; Chapter 53
The most relieving thing about chapter 53 is that Doumeki puts his private feelings into words. He had to lie to Muraji.
Transgressing the business and personal taboo, he gave in to Yashiro’s demand. And then he watches Yashiro’s face for a while as he sleeps almost innocently with his mouth slightly open. Doumeki does not look repentant yet affects an air of resignation. He might be thinking that he is anything more than a living vibrator for Yashiro, asking himself if he were still the same as his father, or anticipating what will happen when Tsunakawa knows about this. But there was no other thing he could do. On the second night of their reunion, he ran after Yashiro suddenly got out of the car and asked if Yashiro wished anything for him (ch.45, vol.8). On the third night, he complied with Yashiro grabbed Doumeki and threw Kamiya out (ch.48, vol.8). I think Doumeki must realize that he scarcely resists Yashiro in cases of crucially, and its reason -- his emotion toward Yashiro.
He takes Yashiro’s phone, answers a call from Nanahara in an exceedingly curt manner. Nevertheless, he cannot help asking if Yashiro-san is in any bad condition. At some future time, Nanahara will infer everything, just as he did four years ago. The cautionary advice he has given Doumeki is almost the same as Muraji’s. As long as he belongs to Sakura Family, it is the Family to which Doumeki owes allegiance. His eyes put a doggo-taste expression with his having been preached by the former aniki [elder brother].
Kamiya has always been concerned about Doumeki’s use of words. To use honorifics or not, and if we do, to what extent? Since it is taigu hyogen [expressions of treatment], it should reflect how one person treats the other and appropriately assess the distance between the one and the other. There may be times when we cannot discern the distance well, when it is troublesome to find it, or when we want to keep our distance from someone. The safest way in such situations is to continue to use polite words [teinei-go*]. It may not express active friendliness, yet at least it is not being disrespectful.
Doumeki is basically a polite person. In Sakura Family, he seems to have tried to be equidistant to everyone -- or he did not try to get close to anyone. He must be emotionally involved with Niki, while it is unthinkable that he would act overly familiar with Young Miss, and her father has already given him a caution (ch.37, vol.7). He also keeps his distance from Kamiya, who has become his buddy (more precisely, his secondary). However, he sometimes missed honorifics for Kamiya. For example, when he was assigned to search for Kido and was thinking about the possibility of closing into his old haunts Shinseikai (ch.38, vol.7). Also, even after their agreement to stop using honorifics for each other (ch.40, vol.7), Doumeki had some use of them. For instance, when both Yashiro and Doumeki stayed over at Tsunakawa’s, the next morning of their reuniting (ch.44, vol.8). The time his ‘expressions of treatment’ are disturbed, it seems to be the time he has any turbulence in his mind.
He has consistently used polite words to Yashiro since their reunion. Four years ago, Doumeki’s using words had been much more polite. He never had addressed ‘Yashiro-san,’ and his use of anata for Yashiro as the second person pronoun had been too much. After the affair of chapters 24-25 (vol.5), for Doumeki, the psychological distance between him and Yashiro had grown closer and closer (in proportion to the physical one), and that had been reflected in his use of words (the repeating use of anata), which had made Yashiro irritating bitter. Just because they had slept together -- indeed it had been a long and passionate affair, and Yashiro had shown reactions to extreme and been aware of it himself -- still, for him, sex had not a means of being truly intimate. Rather, he has separated the two...
Yashiro coming down from Doumeki’s room with his bangs down, looks as if a high schooler. Doumeki dislikes exposing Yashiro like that to the public. Therein lies Doumeki’s inner waver, which is why he misses honorifics altogether at this point. Yashiro, who has been so pleasured by Doumeki to the extent of losing his consciousness, would be someone Doumeki holds even dearer, wants to keep to himself more, and wants to protect more. It is also a reflection of his view of sex and his sense of responsibility. I am not sure which comes first, the physical closeness or the psychological one, like the chicken and the egg. I think we do it for various purposes, and sometimes for no purpose, but the movement of Doumeki’s mind could be relatively more conventional.
Meanwhile, Yashiro wonders why he was taken away also from Kido. Doumeki said that he took Yashiro away from Inami to keep from leaking the information to Inami…(ch.46, vol.8). Yashiro comments, “I had no information to give to that guy (even if I had done it with Kido).” The facial expression Doumeki shows is superb. He adopts a few words to reply, “I will be angry.” His attitude could be called “so-what,” defiantly, or unrepentant. It is the same as saying that he does not like Yashiro doing it with any other man, that HE will do it if Yashiro has the needs, or “I have done it, right?  Any insufficiency?” Yashiro, after all, does not seem to perceive sex as an exclusive act. On the other hand, his body now responds only to Doumeki, and he himself has spent the four days remembering how Doumeki was four years ago, and how he touched him.
Yamakawa is located, and Yashiro inquires Inami about the man (Kai) who keeps Yamakawa. Despite Yashiro no longer being willing to meet Inami, Yashiro tries to agree to the meeting for the information, then Doumeki takes the phone from behind and says he will go. Yashiro cannot stop Doumeki anymore, only, blurts to Nanahara out (which is actually more like bragging??). Although the affair in chapter 52 does not solve business and personal conflicts, it is not meaningless to either side.
---------------------------------------- Appendix: Taigu hyogen [expressions of treatment] include ‘polite words [*teinei-go],’ ‘respectful words [sonkei-go],’ and ‘humble words [kenjo-go].’ It is not difficult to operate ‘polite words.’ In most cases, it only needs to add “desu” or “masu” at the end of a sentence. They are monotonous and mechanical. Using both ‘respectful and humble words,’ one is able to represent one’s taigu hyogen in a flexible manner.
‘Respectful words’ are used for the agent of the action, while ‘humble words’ are for the recipient of the action, and both (sometimes) have their own vocabulary. In the era of feudal class systems, they were indispensable and widely used. These days, people often misuse them, even adults who use this language as their first language.
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neartheeasternfence · 6 months
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ihr HertZ November 2023 has just been released. 24 pages. We can find the Author’s name on the announcement of the next issue that will be released on 30th November.
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neartheeasternfence · 6 months
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@sodapoppyy Thank you for your comments😊. I guess I had better use reblogging since this reply gets a bit long.
As usual, there is no subject or anything in “not yet [original text: mada desu].” Using polite expression desu indicates that they are the words from Doumeki to Yashiro. “(I have not put it even all in, so),” I compensated from the context before and after, and making “[you must] not [come] yet” an independent clause, I tried to reflect politeness. That would be the limit of my proficiency in English.
As for the hand (finger), it appears to be Doumeki’s due to its size. Checking ihr HertZ again, anyway, this is the right hand.
The hand around Doumeki’s neck is Yashiro’s left hand (he has his left hand on Doumeki’s right shoulder, too, in the previous panel, and we are not sure what is going on with his right arm).
On the far side of Yashiro’s left hand, there is Yashiro’s left leg (knee). He is placing it on Doumeki’s right shoulder, or Doumeki may have lifted it up onto his right shoulder (by his right arm). This large right hand is on the further side of the leg, so it should be Doumeki’s (even in this panel, it is not clear what is going on with Yashiro’s right hand).
It can be said that Doumeki is giving very very toned-down ‘suffer’ to Yashiro, and this is part of that. Yashiro finds it hard to let his voice out and looks at Doumeki’s face in confusion. But Doumeki never tries to suffer Yashiro earnestly at all. He is very very careful in observing Yashiro’s condition.
As you say, Doumeki is slightly aggressive. According to his understanding of Yashiro’s preference (“make me hurt”), Doumeki pushes himself in his manner or at least his barely acceptable way. I feel sorry for Doumeki because he is none enjoying...
---------------------------------------- Appendix: I have noticed that certain translations incorporated tiny drawings that were absent in the original work. Although YONEDA Kou is not Da Vinci, such as altering the Mona Lisa to include eyebrows should never be attempted, particularly in the phase of scanlation.
The Conflict of Escort Boy D
Impressions; Chapter 52
In 3/4 of the 24 pages, they have been entangling one another. Considering Doumeki’s way, the progression seems impetuous. He concentrates on the essential parts, not kissing Yashiro all over his body. The fantasy of Doumeki and Mama comes to Yashiro's mind. None of Doumeki’s women in Yashiro’s imagination had a face so far. On this occasion, he identifies the one. I think Yashiro has gotten aroused further by the fantasy, and Doumeki would have raised his head since he sensed Yashiro was about to come. It appears that he is holding Yashiro’s with his right hand. He touches his forehead to Yashiro’s, stares at Yashiro’s face, and they kiss each other. It looks like they are nothing other than two lovers...
There was probably a reason why Doumeki often turned his head away from Yashiro when they were in bed (ch.46 and 50, vol.8). As Doumeki looks squarely at Yashiro’s arousing, he gradually attunes to him, and his own arousing shows on his face. He kisses Yashiro’s hip. This way should be Doumeki’s natural preference. When Yashiro asks to pull [it out] and be no more finger, Doumeki suddenly becomes expressionless and says something pejorative. I do not think he was going to do it, because he was fingering with one finger, and if he had been going to do it, he must have used at least two fingers to prepare. However, the look Yashiro gave Doumeki over his shoulder was irresistibly seductive (He has lost his right eyesight, which would mean he sent solely a glance).
Yashiro has been waiting. In contrast, Doumeki is gritting his teeth. Four years ago, although Doumeki had spent almost a chapter in foreplay, there had been a shock on both sides when he had entered at a breath (ch.25, vol.5). Later, Yashiro had jokingly said that he had thought he had been going to rip (ch.33, vol.6).
Doumeki starts by putting the head in, and Yashiro begins trembling as early. Doumeki says, “(I have not put it even all in, so) [you must] not [come] yet.” He slowly puts the whole of it up, and in the instant, Yashiro silently comes. It is hard to figure out Doumeki’s expression as he looks down at Yashiro. He seems relatively temperate, thinking about something. But then he turns expressionless again, pointing out the lustfulness of Yashiro’s body.
Doumeki drives Yashiro up without giving him even a pause, and he puts his fingertip in Yashiro’s mouth, which looks like a kind of coarse manner. Is this because Yashiro had told him four years ago not to be so careful (ch.21, vol.4), I suppose? Conflictingly, Doumeki carries Yashiro to the bed, still, the two are very likely connected. Yashiro is also holding on to Doumeki with the arm(s) and legs. It is an adult version of the princess-hold that Doumeki has performed a few times, and he would be proud of it despite his unclear expression. Yet he flumps Yashiro down onto the bed, and then their bodies have separated. It appears that Yashiro frowns on it (ch.25). For him, it may mean emotional fulfillment rather than purely physical one. Otherwise, why would Yashiro desire it? Doumeki has been pleasing Yashiro enough without it (ch.46 and 50). Yashiro is folded in almost half and mumbles “deep,” “wai--[t],” “[I am] co--ming,” and is simply covered his mouth with a kiss by Doumeki. Four years ago, Yashiro had said “deep*” and asked for “more” (ch.25), and Doumeki has done exactly so.
While Doumeki seems to have reached orgasm, too, he does not look satisfied or joyful, immediately turns Yashiro’s body over with a scary serious expression, and grabs Yashiro’s waist with his big hands. Doumeki must prefer by his nature to do it by looking at Yashiro’s face (ch.25). Yet four years ago, Yashiro had told him that it would be better from behind, so that would be the reason for what he is doing. Not getting a break from processing, Yashiro is perplexed and tries to say that hold [on], only, a vortex of pleasure engulfed the whole thing.
Doumeki is not reluctant to fulfill Yashiro’s “desires” (that would bespeak his feelings). On the other hand, it seems that he has been abstaining from posing his desires to Yashiro. Like Kamiya, Doumeki should have a common sense of not bringing inappropriate conduct to business settings. Furthermore, he is aware that Tsunakawa dares to get Doumeki closer to the former boss and is testing his loyalty. Nevertheless, he has relented to Yashiro’s demand. I believe that he has done it against his own will, in conformity to his empirical knowledge that these are the way Yashiro favors to do. The fact that he has not put his pants off until the end also indicates that he has not let himself go.
Doumeki was appreciably conflicted in chapter 52, particularly after the insertion. Yashiro was generally happy at least during that time, for he was generally melting. It is the opposite of chapters 24-25 (volume 5). Yashiro had been fairly conflicted that time, and Doumeki had been happy during that time (just during the time -- it had been a risky wager for Doumeki, and he had known it).
Yashiro arises from short sleep in a narrow bed. What he recalls is nectarous. He was lying on his stomach, unable to hold himself up, his expression alluring, Doumeki’s body was massive, and their hands were overlapping. If there were this one panel alone, one can imagine it was a perfectly romantic afternoon. Doumeki regains the masque of the black-suited yakuza, though, Yashiro’s suit is hungered on a hanger, as it had been four years ago. Yashiro attempts to say, “Four years ago, you would have...” and then cuts his words off. He tries to accept the fact that Doumeki’s way was not the same as four years ago.
---------------------------------------- Note: Yashiro once said “*deep...” in chapter 25, then it was modified to “ah…” in volume 5.
Appendix: It can be inferred that Yashiro does not ask for mere dick. In the past, Doumeki filled Yashiro to the brim with anything much more than that. The meaning of chapters 24-25 and what they brought to Yashiro became apparent in chapter 47, the middle of volume 8, beyond the latter half of volumes 5, 6, 7, and the first half of 8. How profound is the heart of one person? The story progresses through the swaying plication of Yashiro’s heart one by one. I prefer to continue wandering across the forest of stories as a relentless reader. The deeper the forest, the better for me.
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neartheeasternfence · 6 months
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The Conflict of Escort Boy D
Impressions; Chapter 52
In 3/4 of the 24 pages, they have been entangling one another. Considering Doumeki’s way, the progression seems impetuous. He concentrates on the essential parts, not kissing Yashiro all over his body. The fantasy of Doumeki and Mama comes to Yashiro's mind. None of Doumeki’s women in Yashiro’s imagination had a face so far. On this occasion, he identifies the one. I think Yashiro has gotten aroused further by the fantasy, and Doumeki would have raised his head since he sensed Yashiro was about to come. It appears that he is holding Yashiro’s with his right hand. He touches his forehead to Yashiro’s, stares at Yashiro’s face, and they kiss each other. It looks like they are nothing other than two lovers...
There was probably a reason why Doumeki often turned his head away from Yashiro when they were in bed (ch.46 and 50, vol.8). As Doumeki looks squarely at Yashiro’s arousing, he gradually attunes to him, and his own arousing shows on his face. He kisses Yashiro’s hip. This way should be Doumeki’s natural preference. When Yashiro asks to pull [it out] and be no more finger, Doumeki suddenly becomes expressionless and says something pejorative. I do not think he was going to do it, because he was fingering with one finger, and if he had been going to do it, he must have used at least two fingers to prepare. However, the look Yashiro gave Doumeki over his shoulder was irresistibly seductive (He has lost his right eyesight, which would mean he sent solely a glance).
Yashiro has been waiting. In contrast, Doumeki is gritting his teeth. Four years ago, although Doumeki had spent almost a chapter in foreplay, there had been a shock on both sides when he had entered at a breath (ch.25, vol.5). Later, Yashiro had jokingly said that he had thought he had been going to rip (ch.33, vol.6).
Doumeki starts by putting the head in, and Yashiro begins trembling as early. Doumeki says, “(I have not put it even all in, so) [you must] not [come] yet.” He slowly puts the whole of it up, and in the instant, Yashiro silently comes. It is hard to figure out Doumeki’s expression as he looks down at Yashiro. He seems relatively temperate, thinking about something. But then he turns expressionless again, pointing out the lustfulness of Yashiro’s body.
Doumeki drives Yashiro up without giving him even a pause, and he puts his fingertip in Yashiro’s mouth, which looks like a kind of coarse manner. Is this because Yashiro had told him four years ago not to be so careful (ch.21, vol.4), I suppose? Conflictingly, Doumeki carries Yashiro to the bed, still, the two are very likely connected. Yashiro is also holding on to Doumeki with the arm(s) and legs. It is an adult version of the princess-hold that Doumeki has performed a few times, and he would be proud of it despite his unclear expression. Yet he flumps Yashiro down onto the bed, and then their bodies have separated. It appears that Yashiro frowns on it (ch.25). For him, it may mean emotional fulfillment rather than purely physical one. Otherwise, why would Yashiro desire it? Doumeki has been pleasing Yashiro enough without it (ch.46 and 50). Yashiro is folded in almost half and mumbles “deep,” “wai--[t],” “[I am] co--ming,” and is simply covered his mouth with a kiss by Doumeki. Four years ago, Yashiro had said “deep*” and asked for “more” (ch.25), and Doumeki has done exactly so.
While Doumeki seems to have reached orgasm, too, he does not look satisfied or joyful, immediately turns Yashiro’s body over with a scary serious expression, and grabs Yashiro’s waist with his big hands. Doumeki must prefer by his nature to do it by looking at Yashiro’s face (ch.25). Yet four years ago, Yashiro had told him that it would be better from behind, so that would be the reason for what he is doing. Not getting a break from processing, Yashiro is perplexed and tries to say that hold [on], only, a vortex of pleasure engulfed the whole thing.
Doumeki is not reluctant to fulfill Yashiro’s “desires” (that would bespeak his feelings). On the other hand, it seems that he has been abstaining from posing his desires to Yashiro. Like Kamiya, Doumeki should have a common sense of not bringing inappropriate conduct to business settings. Furthermore, he is aware that Tsunakawa dares to get Doumeki closer to the former boss and is testing his loyalty. Nevertheless, he has relented to Yashiro’s demand. I believe that he has done it against his own will, in conformity to his empirical knowledge that these are the way Yashiro favors to do. The fact that he has not put his pants off until the end also indicates that he has not let himself go.
Doumeki was appreciably conflicted in chapter 52, particularly after the insertion. Yashiro was generally happy at least during that time, for he was generally melting. It is the opposite of chapters 24-25 (vol.5). Yashiro had been fairly conflicted that time, and Doumeki had been happy during that time (just during the time -- it had been a risky wager for Doumeki, and he had known it).
Yashiro arises from short sleep in the narrow bed. What he recalls is nectarous. He was lying on his stomach, unable to hold himself up, his expression alluring, Doumeki’s body was massive, and their hands were overlapping. If there were this one panel alone, one can imagine it was a perfectly romantic afternoon. Doumeki regains the masque of the black-suited yakuza, though, Yashiro’s suit is hungered on a hanger, as it had been four years ago. Yashiro attempts to say, “Four years ago, you would have...” and then cuts his words off. He tries to accept the fact that Doumeki’s way was not the same as four years ago.
---------------------------------------- Note: Yashiro once said “*deep...” in chapter 25, then it was modified to “ah…” in volume 5.
Appendix: It can be inferred that Yashiro does not ask for mere dick. In the past, Doumeki filled Yashiro to the brim with anything much more than that. The meaning of chapters 24-25 and what they brought to Yashiro became apparent in chapter 47, the middle of volume 8, beyond the latter half of volumes 5, 6, 7, and the first half of 8. How profound is the heart of one person? The story progresses through the swaying plication of Yashiro’s heart one by one. I prefer to continue wandering across the forest of stories as a relentless reader. The deeper the forest, the better for me.
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neartheeasternfence · 7 months
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An Overview; Chapter 52
This post is going to review sketchily chapter 52 in advance of 53. When the official spoiler for 52 was released, I learned they were still kissing, Doumeki slightly flushed with tender eyes and separately making good use of his hands. Thus I began to think beyond 51.
What if Doumeki does not even try to insert it? Yashiro would feel rejected. But it seems like Doumeki is repressing the exercise of his sexual function [ability?].
Conversely, what if Doumeki demands again, as in chapter 25 (vol.5), to let Yashiro say (in words) “You are the one I want”? Yashiro will remain not being able to respond in his own words.
And above all, if Yashiro’s flashback is triggered…
Going straight to the point, as Yashiro with an extremely seductive look called Do--me--ki haltingly (with his best effort), Doumeki finally entered it, and Yashiro’s flashback did not trigger. It would have been because Doumeki had a different approach than four years ago. He gave Yashiro mild pain and words of shaming, and spurred Yashiro fiercely.
There is a setting that Doumeki has unequaled (in many cases, especially sexual) energy (20072017). He fully exerted it and overcame Yashiro supposed to be taking pride in his lustfulness. Yashiro lost consciousness in the middle. Chapter 53 describes the ongoing night, so 52 was the affair on the fourth day afternoon.
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neartheeasternfence · 8 months
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neartheeasternfence · 10 months
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Thank you for commenting and reblogging^^. Yashiro is indeed a complex character and is changing throughout the story, yet the main character, after all, so there are plenty of clues to understand him. It has been denser to grasp Doumeki's feelings recently, but relieved to see his changeless love for Yashiro in chapter 51.
I think Misumi is a man of very high caliber. Even if he were in the non-yakuza world, he would reach the pinnacle of power. I am much interested in him. Saezuru Tori wa Habatakanai might not unfold Misumi’s whole character since it is the story for Yashiro... narrating the journey of Yashiro’s wandering soul.
I Will Do Anything, Not Deny Anything
Impressions; Chapter 5 and 6
In chapter 5 (vol.2), despite exceeding Ryuuzaki in information-gathering ability as well, Yashiro adopted peculiar, or Yashiro-esque means of reconciliation. At the same time, he used Ryuuzaki to indulge in his own fantasy. Seeing the scene inside the room, Doumeki moved his expression for a moment, Nanahara, who had just been stabbed by Ryuuzaki’s man, made his eyes bulge, Ryuuzaki panicked, and Misumi was the only one who remained calm. Misumi must have looked up at the window of the executive office when he got out of the car. Yashiro was also unmoved and if anything, intoxicated.
At the beginning of chapter 6 (vol.2), Yashiro reappeared with a neat and elegant aspect that made it hard to believe he had just acted disgracefully. He then ordered Nanahara to see Ryuuzaki off, adding to do it politely. Even Nanahara seemed to have been about to argue. However, it was a part of Yashiro’s consideration for settling the trouble with the Matsubara group.
Against Doumeki, Yashiro was taking an attitude as if making Doumeki’s disapproval or complaint repressed. Doumeki replied that he did not have any complaints, and looked a bit composed. He checked his expression in the windowpane. He must have been asking himself why he had a certain change inside him since the morning. He saw Yashiro’s affair with Ryuuzaki and was not as so calm as he had been. He intuitively observed that the only reason Yashiro was keeping him on the side and acting fairly defenseless was that he was impotent. “I do not want to be thrown away like an unwanted toy. I want to be by Boss’s side all the time.” To do so, Doumeki decided to accept Yashiro unconditionally.
Misumi pointed out that Yashiro had never slept with anyone he was truly in love with, but only with people he could not care less. Yashiro unconsciously was at a loss for words, and Doumeki’s hand also stopped. That could have denoted that no one was ever truly able to get Yashiro. Misumi himself felt not, either, though he owned Yashiro. That meant Yashiro basically gave them just his body without ‘love,’ and even in case of his having affection, he hold it and did not step into physical relationships.
“He sleeps with people he does not care about” is almost synonymous with “he does not sleep with people he does care about.” Those whom Yashiro does not sleep with are he cares about. First, Kageyama. It can be said that Misumi might be one of them. Of course, given his status as the big boss, he disliked being treated as a person whom Yashiro does not care about. Or, if Misumi had kept Yashiro as one of his fixed lovers, at the very least, they could have gotten onto a deeper relationship (otherwise breaking) beyond a temporary ‘romance.’ I imagine Misumi also went slow not to drown in Yashiro’s allure. He knew well what Yashiro had done to old Aniki who had become enamored with him (ch.10, vol.2).  I think Misumi detected the cognition system of Yashiro’s world, or his persona system, and intends not to violate it. 
Misumi was trying to warn Doumeki that there was no point in becoming seriously carried away with Yashiro. Yet if they were not sleeping together, then…? It could have meant that Doumeki was not someone whom Yashiro did not care about.
Doumeki had something else on his mind. If it was exact as Misumi said, there was nothing between Yashiro and Kageyama. Yashiro had been passing over years and years without telling Kageyama anything, and Kageyama did not know anything. In volume 2, Author restructured the next page to only two panels. The redrawn Yashiro on the back seat of the car in chapter 4, on the way back from Kageyama Clinic, and Doumeki thinking back on Yashiro’s sentiment. At the time, we as well would notice that Yashiro affected an air of resignation in his melancholy beauty. It was his emotional feeling for Kageyama.
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neartheeasternfence · 11 months
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I Will Do Anything, Not Deny Anything
Impressions; Chapter 5 and 6
In chapter 5 (vol.2), despite exceeding Ryuuzaki in information-gathering ability as well, Yashiro adopted peculiar, or Yashiro-esque means of reconciliation. At the same time, he used Ryuuzaki to indulge in his own fantasy. Seeing the scene inside the room, Doumeki moved his expression for a moment, Nanahara, who had just been stabbed by Ryuuzaki’s man, made his eyes bulge, Ryuuzaki panicked, and Misumi was the only one who remained calm. Misumi must have looked up at the window of the executive office when he got out of the car. Yashiro was also unmoved and if anything, intoxicated.
At the beginning of chapter 6 (vol.2), Yashiro reappeared with a neat and elegant aspect that made it hard to believe he had just acted disgracefully. He then ordered Nanahara to see Ryuuzaki off, adding to do it politely. Even Nanahara seemed to have been about to argue. However, it was a part of Yashiro's consideration for settling the trouble with the Matsubara group.
Against Doumeki, Yashiro was taking an attitude as if making Doumeki’s disapproval or complaint repressed. Doumeki replied that he did not have any complaints, and looked a bit composed. He checked his expression in the windowpane. He must have been asking himself why he had a certain change inside him since the morning. He saw Yashiro's affair with Ryuuzaki and was not as so calm as he had been. He intuitively observed that the only reason Yashiro was keeping him on the side and acting fairly defenseless was that he was impotent. “I do not want to be thrown away like an unwanted toy. I want to be by Boss’s side all the time.” To do so, Doumeki decided to accept Yashiro unconditionally.
Misumi pointed out that Yashiro had never slept with anyone he was truly in love with, but only with people he could not care less. Yashiro unconsciously was at a loss for words, and Doumeki’s hand also stopped. That could have denoted that no one was ever truly able to get Yashiro. Misumi himself felt not, either, though he owned Yashiro. That meant Yashiro basically gave them just his body without ‘love,’ and even in case of his having affection, he hold it and did not step into physical relationships.
“He sleeps with people he does not care about” is almost synonymous with “he does not sleep with people he does care about.” Those whom Yashiro does not sleep with are he cares about. First, Kageyama. It can be said that Misumi might be one of them. Of course, given his status as the big boss, he disliked being treated as a person whom Yashiro did not care about. Or, if Misumi had kept Yashiro as one of his fixed lovers, at the very least, they could have gotten onto a deeper relationship (otherwise breaking) beyond a temporary ‘romance.’ I imagine Misumi also went slow not to drown in Yashiro’s allure. He knew well what Yashiro had done to old Aniki who had become enamored with him (ch.10, vol.2).  I think Misumi detected the cognition system of Yashiro’s world, or his persona system, and intends not to violate it. 
Misumi was trying to warn Doumeki that there was no point in becoming seriously carried away with Yashiro. Yet if they were not sleeping together, then...? It could have meant that Doumeki was not someone whom Yashiro did not care about.
Doumeki had something else on his mind. If it was exact as Misumi said, there was nothing between Yashiro and Kageyama. Yashiro had been passing over years and years without telling Kageyama anything, and Kageyama did not know anything. In volume 2, Author restructured the next page to only two panels. The redrawn Yashiro on the back seat of the car in chapter 4, on the way back from Kageyama Clinic, and Doumeki thinking back on Yashiro’s sentiment. At the time, we as well would notice that Yashiro affected an air of resignation in his melancholy beauty. It was his emotional feeling for Kageyama.
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neartheeasternfence · 11 months
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Since there are many different interpretations of this work also among those who read in its original language, I do not think that compassing the “subtext and nuances” depends solely on pure language operation. I could rather find much agreement with a specific person who reads it in translation (or has not even read it yet). So much agree with you about the high praise for the author.  Thank you for commenting^^
The Tattoo Is Unquiet
Impressions; Chapter 51
Yashiro seemed that he did not have a clear sense of purpose when he grabbed Doumeki in chapter 48 (vol.8). At the beginning of chapter 51 while being taken by Doumeki, Yashiro monologizes in his mind that he does not know if this is what himself wanted (Yashiro is not sure if he wants to fuck with Doumeki). When asked by Doumeki, “Are you going through the motion of rejecting me just for form’s sake?”, Yashiro replies, “No…” He has a straight face, and he means it. He is neither rejecting Doumeki nor pretending so. Rather, he wants Doumeki, yet he does not know exactly what he wants him to do and how he wants. The image of kissing, or pillowing Doumeki’s lap had been crossing his mind, though…(ch.46 and 50, vol.8)
As been handled roughly by Doumeki and bit, Yashiro gradually arouses and puts his hand in Doumeki’s hair. Doumeki remains expressionless. He may think that… he likes this way after all. But that he who tries to push Yashiro’s hand back and mumbles, “It is nothing…” is not expressionless. Yashiro must know that Doumeki is trying to patch something up. Doumeki learned Yashiro would be disappointed by that because Yashiro was always trying to send Doumeki back to the none-yakuza world.
Yashiro hardly reveals his genuine emotions, he is said that gets mad with a smiling tone. And he is a man who will use a suitable weapon in ordinary circumstances if he is going to attack. Now he kicks Doumeki with just socked feet and beats him with his bare hands. Doumeki can know that Yashiro is releasing his tightly sealed emotion. It is the emotion about Doumeki’s life choice, and Yashiro runs it with intensity toward Doumeki himself. The masque of the lecherous neko slips off Yashiro, and the one of the black-suited yakuza does off Doumeki. 
What is love? At least it would be something reassuring and trustworthy. In exchange for that unclear forbidden sense, Yashiro let go of Doumeki. The conversation in chapter 23 (vol.5) requires effort to follow along even in the original language. Yashiro said, “I am not afraid of you. I am… [afraid of] myself becoming unable to lose you…” “I am afraid of losing you,” which is almost a confession of love, and its premise is the recognition that you are currently with me. I do not think Yashiro understood what he meant, but Doumeki did. He was much inspired and shed tears. Without Yashiro’s those words, Doumeki would never have taken the next move. The fear of losing someone also caused Yashiro panic, since he had survived by not his expecting or asking for anything from anyone. Even babies stop crying when they learn no one comes. Moreover, Yashiro was far more afraid of losing Doumeki FROM THE WORLD than of him.
Although Doumeki should be able to hold Yashiro down as long as he wished to, he lets Yashiro do as much as he wants. He receives his feelings. This can mean that Doumeki generally understands why Yashiro is angry with him, and more, the main reason Yashiro threw him away four years ago. From when? The time when he spoke with Nanahara at the end of vol.6 (Tobu tori ha kotoba wo motanai, the translated title: Flying birds never speak), or he was listening to the conversation between Tsunakawa and Yashiro (ch.42, vol.7)?  What and how was he thinking at the time…
When Doumeki gently touched Yashiro’s face and hair and kissed him, Yashiro must have realized that it was the materialization of what he was wanting. Formerly, in chapter 23 (vol.5), he had been astonished to the point of rolling his eyes up into his head. Doumeki begins to use his tongue, Yashiro puts his hand on Doumeki’s neck, gives one hesitant look, and then begins to use his tongue as well. Doumeki puts one hand under Yashiro’s shirt and another down the back into his pants. In chapter 46 (vol.8), he was going to touch Yashiro’s bare back and stopped. Now he allows himself to do so, and he knows that Yashiro wants it, too. Yashiro is clinging to Doumeki with both his arms and legs without caring about how he looks, and sucking mouth to mouth. So impressive to see Yashiro has found what he wants.
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neartheeasternfence · 11 months
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The Tattoo Is Unquiet
Impressions; Chapter 51
Yashiro seemed that he did not have a clear sense of purpose when he grabbed Doumeki in chapter 48 (vol.8). At the beginning of chapter 51 while being taken by Doumeki, Yashiro monologizes in his mind that he does not know if this is what himself wanted (Yashiro is not sure if he wants to fuck with Doumeki). When asked by Doumeki, “Are you going through the motion of rejecting me just for form’s sake?”, Yashiro replies, “No...” He has a straight face, and he means it. He is neither rejecting Doumeki nor pretending so. Rather, he wants Doumeki, yet he does not know exactly what he wants him to do and how he wants. The image of kissing, or pillowing Doumeki’s lap had been crossing his mind, though...(ch.46 and 50, vol.8)
As been handled roughly by Doumeki and bit, Yashiro gradually arouses and puts his hand in Doumeki’s hair. Doumeki remains expressionless. He may think that... he likes this way after all. But that he who tries to push Yashiro’s hand back and mumbles, “It is nothing...” is not expressionless. Yashiro must know that Doumeki is trying to patch something up. Doumeki learned Yashiro would be disappointed by that because Yashiro was always trying to send Doumeki back to the none-yakuza world.
Yashiro hardly reveals his genuine emotions, he is said that gets mad with a smiling tone. And he is a man who will use a suitable weapon in ordinary circumstances if he is going to attack. Now he kicks Doumeki with just socked feet and beats him with his bare hands. Doumeki can know that Yashiro is releasing his tightly sealed emotion. It is the emotion about Doumeki’s life choice, and Yashiro runs it with intensity toward Doumeki himself. The masque of the lecherous neko slips off Yashiro, and the one of the black-suited yakuza does off Doumeki. 
What is love? At least it would be something reassuring and trustworthy. In exchange for that unclear forbidden sense, Yashiro let go of Doumeki. The conversation in chapter 23 (vol.5) requires effort to follow along even in the original language. Yashiro said, “I am not afraid of you. I am... [afraid of] myself becoming unable to lose you...” “I am afraid of losing you,” which is almost a confession of love, and its premise is the recognition that you are currently with me. I do not think Yashiro understood what he meant, but Doumeki did. He was much inspired and shed tears. Without Yashiro’s those words, Doumeki would never have taken the next move. The fear of losing someone also caused Yashiro panic, since he had survived by not his expecting or asking for anything from anyone. Even babies stop crying when they learn no one comes. Moreover, Yashiro was far more afraid of losing Doumeki FROM THE WORLD than of him.
Although Doumeki should be able to hold Yashiro down as long as he wished to, he lets Yashiro do as much as he wants. He receives his feelings. This can mean that Doumeki generally understands why Yashiro is angry with him, and more, the main reason Yashiro threw him away four years ago. From when? The time when he spoke with Nanahara at the end of volume 6 (Tobu tori ha kotoba wo motanai, the translated title: Flying birds never speak), or he was listening to the conversation between Tsunakawa and Yashiro (ch.42, vol.7)?  What and how was he thinking at the time...
When Doumeki gently touched Yashiro’s face and hair and kissed him, Yashiro must have realized that it was the materialization of what he was wanting. Formerly, in chapter 23 (vol.5), he had been astonished to the point of rolling his eyes up into his head. Doumeki begins to use his tongue, Yashiro puts his hand on Doumeki’s neck, gives one hesitant look, and then begins to use his tongue as well. Doumeki puts one hand under Yashiro’s shirt and another down the back into his pants. In chapter 46 (vol.8), he was going to touch Yashiro’s bare back and stopped. Now he allows himself to do so, and he knows that Yashiro wants it, too. Yashiro is clinging to Doumeki with both his arms and legs without caring about how he looks, and sucking mouth to mouth. So impressive to see Yashiro has found what he wants.
-------------------- Appendix: How do people communicate with others? It is not always through explicit language. I think this author intentionally suppresses explanations over texts. In contrast, she puts exceptional efforts into drawing the facial expressions of the characters, and in volume 8 as well, she made innumerable minor corrections.
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Thank you for adding comments!😊 Yashiro has been hooking up with clients at the casino or going to Inami’s place, and it seemed as if nothing changed in the past four years. But in fact, there was a major change in his bodily functions and his view of sex. Reuniting Doumeki, he got aware that he was not his usual self. And then he realizes that Doumeki is something special to him. In general, I think he has been becoming more and more ‘humanly.’ As Doumeki senses, it looks like Yashiro wants something to Doumeki, yet Yashiro does not know what it is or how to get it. I suppose he ever has not asked for anything from others... only, he does business deals with them.
And I believe he has almost always ‘given in’ to female counterparts. He had ‘given’ Kageyama to his girlfriend (he had not shown jealousy). He tried ‘giving’ Doumeki to Aoi (giving him back to his family). While Niki is still a little girl, according to Tsunakawa, “women are somewhat born like women (ch.37, vol.7).” When Doumeki did not deny that he had a woman, Yashiro put a resigning expression (ch.46, vol.8). Your reference to the flirtatious expression of Yashiro in chapter 50 reminds me that when he asked Doumeki about a woman in chapter 46, he had a very flirtatious expression as well on his face, which was unusual for him. Since his sex is almost an exchange of sexual services, he never cared about his buddies’ personal life. However, he could not resist asking Doumeki about it... he asked it in a dissembling way. After the meeting with the woman and seeing interactions between Doumeki and her, Yashiro seems that he does not or will not want to give away this time.
When Doumeki is told that he is the better of the two, his eyes put a doggo-taste expression (not sure if I am expressing enough in English). The black-suited yakuza shows the look just like he had four years ago. Although Doumeki’s (and also Yashiro’s) priority is to do his job, as you say, he is wary of Yashiro’s relationship with most of the men around him, including Kamiya, and to Inami, he seems even reserved in some instances. He could be trying to be Yashiro’s (compounded) escort for now. Even as an escort boy, he wants to monopolize the position. He states and acts like so. I wonder if he is trying to understand Yashiro’s sexual behavior in his way and to accept it to a certain extent. They have taken a concrete step toward each other. At least grabbing and being grabbed...
His Persona Is Wavering
Impressions; Chapter 50
The mystery Mama has reappeared. Surprisingly, she calls Doumeki by his first name. Doumeki asks if some customers who caused trouble at her club were part of Okuyama-gumi. Kamiya, who has a grim expression (emerged blood vessel which indicates his mood is drawn in his speech bubble), appears to be trying to interrupt Doumeki, possibly because Okuyama-gumi’s turning against Sakura Family is still inside information. In contrast, Mama smoothly replies that they seemed to be old customers of her club. It implies that she has some inside information about the Family.
Back in high school age, when Kageyama got a girlfriend, Yashiro stepped down from him. He had shown no jealousy (Tadayoedo sizumazu, saredo naki mo sezu, vol.1, the translated title: Though they drift, they do not sink, but nor do they sing). When Aoi showed up, he recognized at one glance that she was a woman, and immediately presumed that she must have been Doumeki’s girlfriend (ch.2, vol.1). Yashiro is not an autonomous, solid gay man. He does not substantially accept his sexuality and more… As far as Aoi was a woman, he must have felt he was no match for her. And he was kind to Aoi in his way. He offended Doumeki, and if Doumeki had left him, that would have been fine, since it was what Aoi had wanted. Yashiro likely feels the same about even Niki. When Doumeki did not respond to Niki at the entrance of Tsunakawa’s house, giving priority to guests, Yashiro was the one who responded to her protest instead (ch.42, vol.7). 
During this encounter with Mama, Yashiro maintains a poker face and keeps observing her. A woman, a real woman, and a womanly woman enhances Doumeki’s masculinity. Yashiro’s glancing expression can never be interpreted as a resignation but as disgust and jealousy. If that is the case, it would be a progress for him. It can be said that means he is trying to accept his sexuality or himself.
Being asked under Doumeki’s body, “You chose me because you wanted me to do this, right?”, Yashiro’s face turns straight for a moment. A pertinent query. Why did I grab Doumeki? However, he quickly conceals himself behind the familiar masque and retorts that he cannot put much expectation on Kamiya in this facet (Doumeki will provide better pleasure than Kamiya while he does not actually care who does it). Doumeki is listening with a slight tilt of his head. His close-up eyes look unexpectedly temperate. He has received some recognition from Yashiro only for his performance in bed. That would be the answer to Doumeki’s query. Doumeki would like to say… Is that all there? Or, even so, you have gone to Inami, too…
Demonstrating his skills without expression, Doumeki points out that Yashiro has a lecherous body. Then Yashiro barely refutes. That would be another step forward for him. Despite his advocating for ‘lechery,’ now his true face is peeking out from under his persona. Finding traces of bondage on Yashiro’s wrist, which are the marks by Inami, Doumeki clearly shows irritation. He ties Yashiro up and asks if Yashiro likes to be bound or prefers to be treated with tenderness. Yashiro looks to have a straight face again.
Later on, Yashiro cannot stay still, recalling the question. The fluctuation of his persona makes him uneasy. He casually excuses himself and heads for Kido, who has been hiding out. Kido is seemed to be one of the men Yashiro hooked up with at the casino (ch.47). But in less than no time, Doumeki appears on the scene, tosses Kido aside, grabs Yashiro by the arm, and tries to drag him away. The man is there, yet he seems faceless – as if he is not human. The man grabs Yashiro with such force that his fingers dig into Yashiro’s arm – unable to resist the force. The man is angry – Doumeki is critically angry. Yashiro must have had recollections just like these. It dated from when he was seven years old. I think he is getting terrified at the end of chapter 50. He has been supposed to not fear violence or violent sex…
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His Persona Is Wavering
Impressions; Chapter 50
The mystery Mama has reappeared. Surprisingly, she calls Doumeki by his first name. Doumeki asks if some customers who caused trouble at her club were part of Okuyama-gumi. Kamiya, who has a grim expression (emerged blood vessel which indicates his mood is drawn in his speech bubble), appears to be trying to interrupt Doumeki, possibly because Okuyama-gumi’s turning against Sakura Family is still inside information. In contrast, Mama smoothly replies that they seemed to be old customers of her club. It implies that she has some inside information about the Family.
Back in high school age, when Kageyama got a girlfriend, Yashiro stepped down from him. He had shown no jealousy (Tadayoedo sizumazu, saredo naki mo sezu, vol.1, the translated title: Though they drift, they do not sink, but nor do they sing). When Aoi showed up, he recognized at one glance that she was a woman, and immediately presumed that she must have been Doumeki’s girlfriend (ch.2, vol.1). Yashiro is not an autonomous, solid gay man. He does not substantially accept his sexuality and more… As far as Aoi was a woman, he must have felt he was no match for her. And he was kind to Aoi in his way. He offended Doumeki, and if Doumeki had left him, that would have been fine, since it was what Aoi had wanted. Yashiro likely feels the same about even Niki. When Doumeki did not respond to Niki at the entrance of Tsunakawa’s house, giving priority to guests, Yashiro was the one who responded to her protest instead (ch.42, vol.7). 
During this encounter with Mama, Yashiro maintains a poker face and keeps observing her. A woman, a real woman, and a womanly woman enhances Doumeki’s masculinity. Yashiro’s glancing expression can never be interpreted as a resignation but as disgust and jealousy. If that is the case, it would be a progress for him. It can be said that means he is trying to accept his sexuality or himself.
Being asked under Doumeki’s body, “You chose me because you wanted me to do this, right?”, Yashiro’s face turns straight for a moment. A pertinent query. Why did I grab Doumeki? However, he quickly conceals himself behind the familiar masque and retorts that he cannot put much expectation on Kamiya in this facet (Doumeki will provide better pleasure than Kamiya while he does not actually care who does it). Doumeki is listening with a slight tilt of his head. His close-up eyes look unexpectedly temperate. He has received some recognition from Yashiro only for his performance in bed. That would be the answer to Doumeki’s query. Doumeki would like to say... Is that all there? Or, even so, you have gone to Inami, too...
Demonstrating his skills without expression, Doumeki points out that Yashiro has a lecherous body. Then Yashiro barely refutes. That would be another step forward for him. Despite his advocating for ‘lechery,’ now his true face is peeking out from under his persona. Finding traces of bondage on Yashiro’s wrist, which are the marks by Inami, Doumeki clearly shows irritation. He ties Yashiro up and asks if Yashiro likes to be bound or prefers to be treated with tenderness. Yashiro looks to have a straight face again.
Later on, Yashiro cannot stay still, recalling the question. The fluctuation of his persona makes him uneasy. He casually excuses himself and heads for Kido, who has been hiding out. Kido is seemed to be one of the men Yashiro hooked up with at the casino (ch.47). But in less than no time, Doumeki appears on the scene, tosses Kido aside, grabs Yashiro by the arm, and tries to drag him away. The man is there, yet he seems faceless -- as if he is not human. The man grabs Yashiro with such force that his fingers dig into Yashiro’s arm -- unable to resist the force. The man is angry -- Doumeki is critically angry. Yashiro must have had recollections just like these. It dated from when he was seven years old. I think he is getting terrified at the end of chapter 50. He has been supposed to not fear violence or violent sex...
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The point-of-purchase advertisement of volume 8 has been brought forward. It says as like follows.
From Doumeki’s point of view, Yashiro appears to be the same as ever. Yashiro is inwardly confused and annoyed by Doumeki’s change. The two are unbalanced and wavering. What will become of their fragile relationship?
(The original text is only two sentences long... stuffed with information...)
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Thank you for adding your comments! Tsunakawa told Amou that he had felt like getting Doumeki (ch.36). It would mean he started planning to make Doumeki a regular member of Sakura Family. So, he has been quite careful in confirming Doumeki’s identity. In chapter 37, he inquired in person about Doumeki’s relationships with women, pointing out that “You must like toshima [the literal meaning is aged, usually used for women].” Doumeki agreed that he preferred toshima [he did not explicitly say they were women]. Yashiro is 11 years older than he, and I had been thinking Doumeki was still single-mindedly in love with Yashiro.
Doumeki replied to Tsunakawa, “I take care of it myself” or “I do it myself,” and added, “sessou ga nai node (because I am unprincipled).” I could replace them only rigidly as usual...
sessou: noun; constancy, fidelity, integrity, chastity, or one's beliefs, principles, assertions (unexpectedly dense concept to depict in English...)
ga: case particle
nai: adjective; non-existential, one does not have, or meaning of negate
node: conjunctive; because, since, as
Although the words are not uncommon including sessou, it is difficult to understand what Doumeki was trying to say. Tsunakawa said, “What do you mean by that?” “If you are unprincipled, you can sleep with any woman (an unprincipled man, that is all the more reason for sleeping with women indiscriminately). I cannot understand you.” And me, either. Why is even masturbation an “unprincipled” deed for Doumeki??
Doumeki’s feelings remain unclear, at least when he was assigned to chase Kido, a former member of Matsubara-gumi (an affiliate of Doushinkai, disbanded in the past), he seemed to be unsettled back of his mind (ch.38). Since any time in four years, he might have been checking on Yashiro’s movements in order not to stumble upon him inadvertently rather than to reunite with. Tsunakawa was going to carry on observing Doumeki closing into the old haunts.
Doumeki is in the state of being sexually quite principled, in other words, chaste. If he is going to dedicate his chastity to Yashiro, that would be understandable. However, it seems that even masturbation is something he should not do or is allowed only compellingly. That is going too far... I suspect that he blocks the exercise of his sexual ability [function?] in general.
As you mentioned in another ask me, in Tobu tori ha kotoba wo motanai (the translated title: Flying birds never speak, end of vol.6), Nanahara said that Yashiro’s sleeping with men was not a tendency of his own choice. Then some realization flashed in Doumeki’s mind.
Doumeki said that he wished after the Aoi incident he had killed his father (ch.2), at the same time he was disgusted by his own violent nature and the sexual function he too, had within himself. Besides, he held self-punishment for not taking care of his sister. He thought it was all right to remain impotent.
I do not think Doumeki does not have any resentment against Yashiro for throwing him away, yet on the other hand, he could be driven by remorse that he might have done something wrong to Yashiro. It seems to me that Doumeki places his own sex at the core of the remorse and restrains him from using(?) his sexuality. Despite his being extremely calm in bed with Yashiro, he would not currently be impotent. I assume that he is, yes, self-punishing again. He might be scared again that he is like his father. Yashiro had told him in chapter 24 that he was different from his father...
In the meeting with Tsunakawa, Yashiro must have been prepared to explain to some extent what had happened four years ago. Doumeki knew that, sat with his head upright, and listened attentively. Yashiro did what he had to do as a former employer -- he recommended Doumeki to Sakura Family as trustworthy man, even though it was a follow-up. The utterance that Doumeki recklessly saved Yashiro's life was both true and had the nuance of gratitude. As you mentioned, Doumeki looked surprised that Yashiro commented so. He did not expect Yashiro to thank him, I guess. 
According to the monologue of Nanahara, Yashiro was speaking unusually honestly up to almost 50 percent. I think that the keystone of Yashiro's speech was a pure person like Doumeki should not have been close to a twisted person like himself. He had “grieved” that such a Doumeki would have tried to follow him, therefore he had let go of Doumeki. That was also true and would have been a kind of clarification about his past choice. Doumeki had been back to being expressionless, yet the fact that his profile was in close-up indicated that he heard it anyway and had some thoughts on it.
You are soooo sweet to say you love that sentence💕💕 I know my compositions are inexperienced every time, even when they have few grammatical errors. I am very glad you read them😊😊 I do not think Yashiro understands what love is. But he has experienced it and done it. I remember you wrote, “if you love something, you let it go.” This work and your posts give me a lot to consider.
Changed, or Not Changed
Impressions; Chapter 49
Continued from Beautiful, or Not beautiful
Changed and unchanged have been the keywords since the meeting with Yashiro and Tsunakawa in chapter 42 (vol.7). Doumeki looks to have changed completely into yakuza, but is it still Doumeki inside? I have begun to assume the possibility that he tried to break off his lovesickness for Yashiro during the four years. He did not go to see Yashiro despite his tracking Yashiro’s movement. He cannot and will not forget Yashiro, only he might have tried to sublimate those whole affairs as a remembrance, and he might have thought that he could already have done so. At the beginning of their reunion, it looked as if Yashiro were the person of bittersweet memory (ch.41, 42).
Yet in the washroom, when Inami’s name appeared on Yashiro’s phone, another emotion was evoked (ch.43, vol.7). Doumeki’s words were offensive: “You still do it with anyone as used to be, right? (You are still sleeping with men promiscuously)” Yashiro, in the bathroom, pondered the words hurled at him for a few panels, and replied, “What makes you think I have changed in just four years? (No, I have not changed).” Doumeki widened his eyes and the momentary expression on his face was not disturbing; in fact, it appeared to be the opposite. On the next page, however, he put his head down and muttered with an expression of discouragement, “No, [no subject] cannot change so easily.” From those on, he held on to a series of provocative words and actions. What was the precise subject of “cannot change so easily”? He might have been disappointed in himself, realizing that he, too, could not change – that he could not let go of his intense feelings for Yashiro. He has exposed his obsession with Yashiro around the edges. He himself must be aware of that now.
Doumeki informed his boss that he was not in a physical relationship with any woman, and he was in a so-called ‘my dominant hand is my lover’ state, adding “as I am unprincipled (ch.37, vol.7).” I suspect that he intentionally suppresses the utilization(?) of his bodily functions, which was able to say had been restored by Yashiro. My inference is that he must really not make even his own hand his lover, still, he allows that, thus it may mean unprincipled. Similar to his coping (none coping) after the Aoi incident. I would say that had been self-punishment. If he feels the need to do so again, he could have any realization about the significance of the affair of volume 5 to Yashiro. Or, to say further, about Yashiro’s sexual behaviour.
Yashiro’s sentiment toward Doumeki is romantic, regardless of how he perceives himself (ch.46). He had been giving his heart to Kageyama in silence for long years and once secretly kissed Doumeki (ch.5, vol.2). Becoming a smart, skillful, and ‘lecherous’ yakuza leader, down deep inside he retained such tender feelings. Can it be counterposed to ‘lechery’? Being ‘lecherous’ was a strategy for him to find pleasure in violence and focus on it in order to survive the assault he had been forced to. After the night with Doumeki, the strategy turned ineffective – the indiscriminate pleasure was gone. Even so, he has any reason to need Inami’s violence. The persona of ‘lechery’ may be unusual, but however unusual it may be, for him it is a means of survival found in extreme conditions. In volume 5, Doumeki unintentionally tore Yashiro’s persona away. Yashiro confronting Hirata was driven by the urge for self-destruction more than usual, while no doubt he did not want Doumeki to die. Eventually, he threw Doumeki away almost desperately. It was also to send Doumeki back to the non-yakuza world. It was supposed to have been. 
In chapter 40 (vol.7), reuniting Doumeki, Yashiro’s view was distorted as he walked alone to the bridge. And his expression resembled the one he had in chapter 32 (vol.6) when he was fastened his seatbelt by Doumeki after the heated argument about whether to get out of the car or not. Doumeki’s words that his time and body were his own were impressive, declaring that he was in the yakuza world by his own will. What was going through Yashiro’s mind at that time? 
He overall highly praised Doumeki at the meeting with Tsunakawa, and I believe that they were in effect directed toward Doumeki (ch.42). He meant that a pure person like Doumeki should not have been close to a twisted person like himself… His distortions – for example, ‘lechery’ – could contaminate Doumeki, and the yakuza world surrounding him could take Doumeki’s life. In chapter 34, when Doumeki was shot in his left chest by Hirata, and when Doumeki dropped down, it seemed that Yashiro’s face was more like a dead. He looked discernibly insane beating Hirata up with the rubble. Amidst the roar of the plane, realizing anything infinitely close to love, he touched Doumeki’s face. Simply put, he let the man go because he held him very dear. But this time Yashiro has grabbed Doumeki. In chapter 49, Yashiro repeats, “I have not changed essentially,” which is not true.
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Text
Changed, or Not Changed
Impressions; Chapter 49
Continued from Beautiful, or Not Beautiful
Changed and unchanged have been the keywords since the meeting with Yashiro and Tsunakawa in chapter 42 (vol.7). Doumeki looks to have changed completely into yakuza, but is it still Doumeki inside? I have begun to assume the possibility that he tried to break off his lovesickness for Yashiro during the four years. He did not go to see Yashiro despite his tracking Yashiro’s movement. He cannot and will not forget Yashiro, only he might have tried to sublimate those whole affairs as a remembrance, and he might have thought that he could already have done so. At the beginning of their reunion, it looked as if Yashiro were the person of bittersweet memory (ch.41, 42).
Yet in the washroom, when Inami’s name appeared on Yashiro’s phone, another emotion was evoked (ch.43, vol.7). Doumeki’s words were offensive: “You still do it with anyone as used to be, right? (You are still sleeping with men promiscuously)” Yashiro, in the bathroom, pondered the words hurled at him for a few panels, and replied, “What makes you think I have changed in just four years? (No, I have not changed).” Doumeki widened his eyes and the momentary expression on his face was not disturbing; in fact, it appeared to be the opposite. On the next page, however, he put his head down and muttered with an expression of discouragement, “No, [no subject] cannot change so easily.” From those on, he held on to a series of provocative words and actions. What was the precise subject of “cannot change so easily”? He might have been disappointed in himself, realizing that he, too, could not change -- that he could not let go of his intense feelings for Yashiro. He has exposed his obsession with Yashiro around the edges. He himself must be aware of that now.
Doumeki informed his boss that he was not in a physical relationship with any woman, and he was in a so-called ‘my dominant hand is my lover’ state, adding “as I am unprincipled (ch.37, vol.7).” I suspect that he intentionally suppresses the utilization(?) of his bodily functions, which was able to say had been restored by Yashiro. My inference is that he must really not make even his own hand his lover, still, he allows that, thus it may mean unprincipled. Similar to his coping (none coping) after the Aoi incident. I would say that had been self-punishment. If he feels the need to do so again, he could have any realization about the significance of the affair of volume 5 to Yashiro. Or, to say further, about Yashiro’s sexual behaviour.
Yashiro’s sentiment toward Doumeki is romantic, regardless of how he perceives himself (ch.46). He had been giving his heart to Kageyama in silence for long years and once secretly kissed Doumeki (ch.5, vol.2). Becoming a smart, skillful, and ‘lecherous’ yakuza leader, down deep inside he retained such tender feelings. Can it be counterposed to ‘lechery’? Being ‘lecherous’ was a strategy for him to find pleasure in violence and focus on it in order to survive the assault he had been forced to. After the night with Doumeki, the strategy turned ineffective -- the indiscriminate pleasure was gone. Even so, he has any reason to need Inami's violence. The persona of ‘lechery’ may be unusual, but however unusual it may be, for him it is a means of survival found in extreme conditions. In volume 5, Doumeki unintentionally tore Yashiro's persona away. Yashiro confronting Hirata was driven by the urge for self-destruction more than usual, while no doubt he did not want Doumeki to die. Eventually, he threw Doumeki away almost desperately. It was also to send Doumeki back to the non-yakuza world. It was supposed to have been. 
In chapter 40 (vol.7), reuniting with Doumeki, Yashiro’s view was distorted as he walked alone to the bridge. And his expression resembled the one he had in chapter 32 (vol.6) when he was fastened his seatbelt by Doumeki after the heated argument about whether to get out of the car or not. Doumeki’s words that his time and body were his own were impressive, declaring that he was in the yakuza world by his own will. What was going through Yashiro’s mind at that time? 
He overall highly praised Doumeki at the meeting with Tsunakawa, and I believe that they were in effect directed toward Doumeki (ch.42). He meant that a pure person like Doumeki should not have been close to a twisted person like himself... His distortions -- for example, ‘lechery’ -- could contaminate Doumeki, and the yakuza world surrounding him could take Doumeki’s life. In chapter 34, when Doumeki was shot in his left chest by Hirata, and when Doumeki dropped down, it seemed that Yashiro’s face was more like a dead. He looked discernibly insane beating Hirata up with the rubble. Amidst the roar of the plane, realizing anything infinitely close to love, he touched Doumeki’s face. Simply put, he let the man go because he held him very dear. But this time Yashiro has grabbed Doumeki. In chapter 49, Yashiro repeats, “I have not changed essentially,” which is not true.
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Text
Beautiful, or Not Beautiful
Impressions; Chapter 49
Yamakawa, the “Golden Goose (ch.45),” was a more important figure than Kido. (How does he grow money? Does he have any special skills??) He is supposedly being hidden by a man named Kai who has a scar over his left eye in Okuyama-gumi. Yashiro tells Nanahara by phone to find Yamakawa out, not get anyone else to take him away, and ‘pluck him off by the ass hairs*.’ It is an appropriate order for an illegal casino owner and quasi-yakuza boss.
However, the question to Doumeki, “Are you going to stay over in this room?” is not very appropriate. That Yashiro’s face is not looking so beautiful -- which I think corresponds to the fact that this statement is not very beautiful, neat, or consistent. Doumeki does not argue that Yashiro brought him here relatively by force but asks if Yashiro and his men are going to take Yamakawa away from Sakura Family and renege on the partnership. Yashiro replies that just going to pluck the ass hairs off (we as well need to impose certain sanctions on Yamakawa).
The speech bubbles of the next two consecutive panels, which say “...” and “... Hair...” would be Doumeki’s. He takes the expression ‘pluck the ass hairs off’ literally and tries to think about it. This kind of earnestness, naivete, and lack of conversational fluency were often presented by Doumeki early on when he had come to Yashiro, which had been why people had gossiped about him if that big man had a weak head (ch.1, vol.1). Yashiro laughs and says, “You have not changed in that aspect,” and the comment moves the emotion and also the expression of Doumeki. Yashiro smiling with his face slightly twisted is beautiful. No matter what expression he has on his face, whenever Auther intends to draw him beautifully, she is able to do so.
Continued on Changed, or Not Changed
---------------------------------------- Note: The original text is “Ketsu no ke made mushiri-tot-te [*pluck off by the ass hairs (deprive Yamakawa of everything), and] tsruttsturu-no [verbal noun tsrutsturu(-da), which means a smooth surface, with the double consonant for emphasis] paipan ni shite-yara-nai to [we must make Yamakawa paipan].” This is a volley of slang expressions. Paipan is a kind of archaic cryptic swear word, referring to the status of under-hairless (usually of grown-up women), and at least historically, it has been treated as something to be ashamed of.
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