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dranna · 7 months

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Doubt

AO3 / Commissions / Links /

Ryan Gosling!Ken x Gender neural reader

Warnings: fluff, angst, emotional hurt/comfort, feeling excluded, sobbing, not beta read

Summary: you always loved Ken, his silly, all so excited personality, wondering over every tiny thing. But recently you noticed something strange. He started to get nervous, fidgety and sad (?) around you.

a/n: lineart is mine🧡 / It was inspired by this quote from Sense and Sensibility-- “Do not let the behavior of others destroy your inner peace. “

tags my beloveds: @ken-dom (let me know if you would like to be tagged:) )

It’s impossible to describe,

How much you adored this Sunshine,

He is the sneaky little Smile,

That bless your face,

During the cold and boring weekdays.

He is loud, jumpy and silly,

Excitement and wonder are part of his personality,

There is not a single day,

That goes without him discovering everyday things,

However he does it with such delight,

It bewitches your heart every time.

Yet recently,

You noticed something unnerving,

His whole demeanor changed,

Self-forgetting disappeared,

And anxious guarded took it’s place,

He become reserved and fidgety,

Not in the way you loved him to be,

His beautiful eyes became glossy,

And sadness was clouding their vision.

You didn’t understand,

What caused this distress,

So one day in Baribeland,

After a 3 days long suspense,

You decided to put an end,

To this gloominess,

“Ken, what’s been going on?”

“B-been going on?— n-noting! Haha..”

“Ken.. “

— you sighed,

While looking at him,

Questions in your eyes.

It was a dreamy day in Barbieland,

Just like every other beforehand,

The sun was throwing his warmth,

The mermaids were singing to its charm,

The beach was hot and comfy,

Kens and Barbies were playing gleely,

Alan was standing alone and cheering,

Even Weird Barbie was joining,

There was nothing out of the ordinary,

So what caused his misery?

You two were sitting under a palm tree,

Away from the loud team.

You glanced at him again,

He looked nervous and uncertain,

He was staring at the other Kens,

With eyes filled with fear and tears.

Yes, you had no idea what's happened,

But how would you?

He hid this knowledge deep,

Sealed with secrecy,

Sooner or later you will see it too,

And you will realise,

How pathetic I am compared to the others,

He thought,

Rocking back and forth.

It was an other perfect morning,

As he was ‘beaching’ on the beach,

Looking perfect and sun-kissed,

While he was drawing something for you,

Lost in concentration,

To make it perfect for you.

He was a cowboy today,

Wearing his black jacket and pink scarf,

Decorated with the most magnificent hat,

And a rope lasso at the belt.

“I have no idea what They see in Him!

He is such a loser at everything”

— Ken heard the voice of his ‘archenemy’,

The Other Ken,

While he was sunbathing.

He was surrounded with other Kens,

Listening to him intensely,

“What do you mean?”

“Haven’t you noticed?!

It doesn’t matter what he tries,

He fails miserably every time.

Also,

Y/N is so beautiful and confident,

Lovely and intelligent,

I have no idea what they see,

In such a loser as him.

He is always jumping around,

Being the loudest—“

“It’s not nice to talk about someone,

Behind their backs like that!”

“Yes, you shouldn’t say such meannes!”

— Joined the others,

So this conversation lines ceased,

But Ken froze in place,

Only heard the Other Ken’s words.

He gazed down the drawing,

He was working on,

So endlessly and proudly before,

But the warmth escaped from his heart,

Leaving icy marks.

“ … Ken ? Ken??”

— Your worried voice pulled him back,

Into the sunny present,

You two were still sitting under the shade,

Covered by anxious silence.

“Ken, please talk to me.”

He looked at you with huge tear filled eyes,

Streams flowing down both sides,

“I-I’m n-nothing-g.”

— His voice was so quiet and broken,

If you didn’t see him in front of you on the sand,

You wouldn’t believe it was him.

“What is it about?

What do you mean?!”

“I-I’m a loser aren’t I?!

I’m a failure in every task,

I’m always the one in the back,

Who the others laughing at,

Doesn’t matter what I try,

I’m just never enough—..

S-so I understand,

If you decide,

I-if yo-u w-want to leave me b-beh-inde.”

“How can you say that,

It’s not true!

I don’t understand where it is coming from?”

“Yes it is!”

—At this point he was sobbing hard,

An ocean forming in his eyes,

Hugging his knees to tight,

His hands went white,

You couldn’t bare to see him like that,

So you gently touched,

His shaking shoulders,

“Who told you these things love?

“H-hear-d it from t-the O-other Ken.”

— At the word ‘love’,

His head shot up,

Silent pleading in those blue eyes.

“You.. you still want..us to be,

Boyfriend and girlfriend..?”

“Of course I do!”

“B-but..”

“I love you silly!”

— With these words,

You pulled him close,

Holding his shaking form.

“Whatever you heard it's not true,

I adore you,

I love your enthusiasm, your awe,

Your never ending shiny self,

Your astonishment of tiny things,

And the babbling facts coming from within,

I love you the way you are,

Please never change,

And question my heart."

– Taking off his hat you held his face,

Hinting it with kisses,

Which bloomed in teras,

“And what if you fail?

Do you know what's more important?”

“What?”

–Suffocating pain was replaced,

With soft tenderness,

In his voice.

He looked at you,

Like you hanged the Moon on that perfect sky,

Admiring you beauty in the dark,

“You stand up,

Holding your head high,

Smiling to the sky,

It doesn't break your spirit,

In fact,

You try again!

– You placed a kiss on his forehead,

“And again”

– Now a smooch on his pretty nose,

“And again.”

– And kisses on his cheeks,

Which were now burning red.

You two sat there,

In your quiet spot,

Holding each other close.

The sun started to set,

Yet you stayed,

Whispering sweet truths in his ear,

His sobs started to stop then disappear,

Leaving behind dried up rivers,

Which you pet better.

Doting started to bloom,

In his plastic heart,

With a newfound passion and warmth.

He shuffled closer,

If that's possible,

Gently hugging you more,

“I was making something for you,

When I heard them speak..”

– You heard them whisper quietly,

You looked down to see worry rising,

So with a gentle tap,

You encouraged him to continue.

After a little shuffling and careful moves,

He took out a paper from his clothes,

Then gently placed it in your palm,

Nervously waiting for your reply.

You glanced down to see,

A drawing of a happy horsie,

It looked like a child drawing,

But you can't help but smile,

At the thought of him drawing this.

“I like it so much!

I–”

“Really?!”

–Instead of a reply,

You just pulled him close,

Praising every tiny detail of it.

The glow worms' light were in sync,

With the music of yours heartstrings,

From Ken’s mind,

Disappeared everything blue,

His chest was filled with comfort and heat,

With the lovely words,

From your pretty lips,

The night dragged on,

But your pair didn't mind,

Your soul were set in a feeling so sublime.

Probably his drawing would look something like that:

74 notes · View notes

ken-dom · 7 months

Text

Home

Lars Lindstrom x gn!reader

2.3k words

Summary: Lars has something extra special in mind tonight.

Author's notes: Ok I've got it bad for Lars. Gorgeous artwork is by the wonderful @dranna 🩷

Warnings/content: fluff, marriage proposal, touches on Lars's possessive side if you squint, kissing, gif at the end

The afternoon sun illuminated Lars’s soft, moustache-adorned face in a warm glow as he peered out of his garage window with mild concern, completely unaware, as ever, of how handsome he was.

And even more so tonight, because he had dressed up for something special. Something he had been planning for weeks, and thinking about since the very first time you held hands.

He cautiously stepped away from view when he saw your headlights approaching, and peeked around the curtains to check it really was your car. His heart sped up and his shoulders tensed as he was overcome with the thought that you might not actually show up tonight.

It surprised Lars more every week that you kept coming back. You only shared your first kiss two months into dating. He knew this was considered a long time in the dating world, but it had been a big deal for him and you’d been patient and kind. You’d told him he was a good kisser and let him take it at his own pace. You’d waited another couple of weeks until he was ready to use tongues (and you didn’t make him feel bad for moaning into your mouth when you finally did and he discovered that he liked it). He found you incredible for that small courtesy, despite your protests that you’d wait a lifetime and then some, as long as he was happy and comfortable.

Of course, it was you pulling onto his driveway. You’d turned up for tonight’s date early as usual, easing his anxieties with that one effortless act.

He shuffled over to his full length mirror to triple check that his hair was sleek, his moustache neat, his sweater uncrumpled and his posture straight. Tonight had to be perfect. It had to be special. He wanted you to feel as special as you made him feel, if that were at all possible.

He ran through his rehearsed words one last time, smiling sweetly at his reflection for getting the simple phrase right, cheeks glowing pink at the thought of you actually hearing them later. He’d felt terrified the first time he’d said them out loud to his reflection, wincing and forgetting how to breathe for a moment, but after a few weeks, they began to sound like his favourite song. They brought him hope instead of fear, and they made him feel more connected to you. He just had to make that connection real now.

His stomach turned somersaults when your unmistakable tap at the door broke his reverie.

‘This is it,’ he breathed giddily, slipping on his coat, with one last nod to himself in the mirror, pacing himself with measured breaths as he made his way to the door and creaked it open just a few inches. He stepped into the doorframe to block the entrance, keeping the door pressed to his back.

You tilted your head, curiosity pulling at your lips. ‘Not letting me in, Lars?’

‘Not today,’ he beamed, voice high with excitement.

You beamed back, wondering what had him so amused and skittish. ‘Oh?’

‘I uhm… I thought we could go for a walk. I just need to-’

Curious what he was up to, you attempted to be surreptitious as you peered over his shoulder into the garage as he leant back for his blanket, but Lars, hyper aware of your every movement, noticed as soon as he’d wrapped it around his neck.

Flustered by your inquisitive glances, he pushed his body forward, clumsily closing the door behind him and inadvertently forcing you off the doorstep in the process. You stumbled back, and without thinking, Lars held out his ungloved hand to yours, catching and pulling you toward him in an almost graceful dance. The space between you closed to barely an inch and you felt his breath, hot and fresh, tingle against your lips. Your eyes locked. You shivered.

‘Sorry,’ he breathed, and at the same time you uttered a quiet, ‘Thank you…’

The words fogged the gap between you. You eyes slid for a moment, hoping he might kiss you, but after ensuring you were firmly on your feet, he pulled away and you sobered.

Lars glanced over the top of your head toward the house, where Karin was holding two thumbs up through the window, the broadest smile he thought he’d ever seen plastered across her eager face. He shot his gaze back to you, wanting to keep your attention on him and definitely not draw it to Karin who could give the whole thing away if he wasn’t careful.

‘Would you like to hold my hand?’ he asked hurriedly, watching every minute flicker on your face in an attempt to gauge your reaction. His stomach was in knots and if he wasn’t absolutely sure that you were in the mood for romance tonight he wasn’t sure he could go through with his plan.

You took one glove off and slipped your fingers between his, lifting your clasped hands to slide them inside his coat pocket as you smiled up at him.

He huffed out a heavy, half-relieved breath, heart hammering in his chest at your hand being inside his clothes and your thumb rubbing at the back of his hand. He anxiously squeezed his long, thick fingers around yours and you jumped a little at the pressure.

‘Lars, is everything ok? You seem sort of… nervous.’

‘No! No, I’m not nervous,’ he protested, while forcing himself not to run in the opposite direction, ‘I’m uhm… hey, let’s head to the lake. I want to show you something.’

You knew there was something on his mind, but you also knew he would get there in his own time with your support. So for now, you rested your head against his shoulder, and took a deep breath, enjoying the crunch of frosty twigs and leaves beneath your feet.

At the gentle lapping of the water, you sighed dreamily. The sun was setting over the lake as you approached, and as the treehouse came into view, you saw another glow – there were fairy lights strung up all around it.

‘Lars?! Did you do this?’

He nodded sheepishly, cheeks red with the bitter cold while burning hot with anticipation beneath that soft, pale flesh.

‘It’s beautiful! Can we climb up and watch the sunset together?’

‘Yes,’ he whispered, delighted, his lips curling at your reaction, watching you let go of his hand to skip toward the rope and eagerly climb up to the top where you found a pile of thick blankets and huge plush cushions.

‘Lars!’ you exclaimed, turning to him with tears welling in your eyes. ‘What’s all this for? For me?’

‘All for you,’ he nodded, following you up to the little wooden platform. ‘I wanted to share a romantic evening with you.’

‘I love it,’ you laughed, wrapping your arms around him the moment he was at the top. He was stiff at first, but lingered in your embrace.

You laid down a thick blanket to sit on, and Lars dropped down beside you, smiling gleefully when you rested your head against him again and covered your legs with another, fluffier blanket.

‘Come here…’ he uttered, pulling you with him until you were laid side by side with your heads resting on the same big, squashy cushion.

Lars stared across at the horizon, bracing himself to wrap an arm around you. As if you’d read his mind, you lifted your head at the exact moment he shifted his arm, and placed your head on his chest. That was one of the things he adored most about your time together; you were so in sync, it was painless.

‘You look beautiful tonight,’ he sighed, breath catching in his throat, and then, ‘L is for the way you look at me,’ Lars sang quietly, tentatively.

You hummed, delighted to hear him, and he continued;

‘O is for the only one I seeV is very, very extraordinaryE is even more than anyone that you adore can-’

His voice was dreamy. You’d never heard him sing before, and the sound came as a wonderful surprise; the freedom in the voice and range he played with as he serenaded you made your heart swell and your skin prickle.

Lars had begun to wave his arms in time with the music he was making, and you wrapped an arm around his soft middle, shifting on his chest to gaze up at his face instead of at the sunset. Lars was far more beautiful anyway.

‘Love is all that I can give to youLove is more than just a game for two-’

Wanting the moment to last forever, you joined him, harmonising perfectly;

‘Two in love can make it, take my heart and please don't break itLove was made for me and you.’

You wondered again if he was going to kiss you then, but his trembling lips were poised to ask a question rather than press to yours.

‘Marry me?’ Lars blurted, eyes so intense on yours you could have melted under the heat.

‘Yes,’ you answered simply.

There was not a single trace of doubt lacing your voice, and his heart soared, but for a brief moment, it was as though the conversation had never happened. You were frozen, laid on his chest, softly weighing him down and staring into his glossy blue eyes while he laid beneath you, sucking in shaky breaths and staring up at you, startled as a rabbit in the headlights but filled with such awe.

The world stood still as the meaning of it all sunk in for you both. The biggest and possibly most important question you'd ever been asked, and the effortless way your agreement slipped from your lips without a second thought. It was easy for you both. The most natural interaction you’d ever experienced.

He’d asked Bianca after only a short time together and still felt the sting of her saying no. He needed time to prepare to hear that again.

But you had said yes! It was no longer a rehearsal with his reflection that helped form the beginnings of a perfect daydream in his imagination. It was actually happening. It was real.

You both burst into a fit of laughter, and he finally kissed you, firm and passion-filled, fingers threading into your hair to hold the back of your head still.

You missed the sunset. You didn’t care. There’d be others. A lifetime’s worth to share with him, or to miss with him. The thought made your heart swell.

‘Oh, wait! I have something,’ Lars breathed after an eternity, blinking his gaze away and struggling to reach his inside coat pocket with you laid upon it.

You stood on wobbly legs to give him the space he needed, giddy with the knowledge that you were engaged and you were the only two people in the world who knew. You were giddy, too, at the tingle of his lips against yours, the way his soft moustache had gently brushed your upper lip, the way he had hummed into your mouth each time your tongues slid together.

Lars scrambled around on his knees, clumsily knocking a cushion from the treehouse platform as he finally found what he was looking for. By the time the cushion hit the ground with a dull pouff!, he was knelt before you, holding out a shiny ring with the most hopeful glint in his eye you’d ever seen.

‘Do you want to wear it?’

‘Of course I do,’ you said softly, kneeling with him to slip the ring on. It looked tiny in his huge hands. His long fingers felt surprisingly warm against the cool of your skin, and as the ring slid into position, a rush of butterflies swelled in your stomach. Even after months with him, they hadn’t ceased. You were sure they never would.

‘I could wear one too, if you’d like,’ he offered, unsure.

‘Do you want to?’

‘Maybe. I think so… I want everyone to know I’m engaged to you. That we belong to each other.’

‘I like the sound of that,’ you smiled, flexing your fingers to admire the fit of the ring and the way it twinkled brighter than the stars reflecting off the gently rippling water when you moved your hand around.

It didn’t capture your attention for too long though. Lars was the real star of the show. You tugged gently at the pale blue comfort blanket tucked neatly around his neck, pulling him closer with it. He didn’t always wear it when he was with you. He’d grown comfortable enough to go without most of the time, but you understood now why he’d wanted it tonight. Your lips pressed to his once again, and he sighed dreamily.

When you dropped back, Lars kept his eyes closed and lips parted as though he was still kissing you, his eyebrows raised in bliss. You supposed he never wanted it to end. But his nose was turning red, and as much as you never wanted to cover your hand up now that Lars had given you a promise to display there, your fingers needed warmth.

‘Let’s go home?’ you beamed, slipping your fingers into his hand again.

‘Yes,’ Lars agreed, with a broad, crooked smile, removing his blanket and draping it around your shoulders to keep you warm.

It turned out that you weren’t the only two people in the world to know about the engagement after all. Lars waved at the house on the way back to his garage and gave a clear thumbs up to an anxious Karin, who was still waiting in the window, and began to bounce up and down and call excitedly for Gus when she saw Lars’s signal.

You waved too, and slipped your hand out of Lars’s pocket to wiggle your fingers and show off your ring.

Lars watched you closely, everything seeming to move in slow motion as you displayed your utter joy to his proud brother and sister in law.

Home, he realised, was wherever you were.

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