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ronaldofandom · 10 months

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Forever, and for always!

And, after a few titbits, the proposal fic is up :)

Written at the request of a few readers. And also because I missed writing about my babies.

Summary: Bheem wants to ask Jenny to marry him. He's shit nervous and takes help from Ram & Sita. Then, he proposes in the most 'Bheem' way possible. This is fluff & fluff & more fluff.

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‘Anna - meet me riverside. It’s a matter of life and death.’

Ram had just finished the training session when a kid handed over Bheem’s note to him. The haphazardly scribbled words added to the urgency of the situation. Ram dropped everything and galloped towards the river, bracing himself for the worst. Ready to go on absolute rampage if anyone had dared to hurt Bheem.

His eyes scanned all directions, searching from pillar to post. When he finally spotted Bheem, he dashed towards him.

‘What…what’s wrong? What happened? I came as quickly as I could.’

Bheem looked curiously at Ram. The man was bent over, his hands on his knees, desperately trying to catch his breath.

Ram had also gotten the chance to look Bheem over. He didn’t seem physically hurt, thankfully, and there didn’t seem to be any imminent danger either. What was the issue then? Why did Bheem scare the living daylights out of him with that note?

‘Anna - why are you panting?’

Ram was more than mildly irritated by the question.

‘Isn’t it obvious? I came running because you said it’s a matter of life and death.’

Bheem looked guilty. Instantly. And Ram started to get irked by the look.

‘Well, what is it then? Spill. NOW.’

Bheem started to pace around the area, nervously. The man was driving Ram nuts.

‘I…uh…I am thinking about asking Jenny to marry me.’

Ram processed the information for a few seconds. Then picked up a pebble and hurled it at Bheem. It was small enough to not hurt but large enough to at-least sting.

Bheem rubbled his hurt shoulder, and gaped at Ram, all crestfallen and confused.

‘THAT was a matter of life and death? THAT? Do you have any idea what all went through my mind in the last 6 minutes? DO YOU?’

Bheem looked down sheepishly. He should have worded the note better, instead of letting his heart overpower his judgement.

A few more cuss words and bear hugs and puppy eyes later, Ram’s mood improved markedly and he calmed down enough to focus on the matter at hand.

‘What exactly is bothering you, Bheem? Tell me.’

Bheem started to pace up and down again, making Ram dizzy.

‘You remember how you had told me to give her time to get acclimatised? To not pop the question too soon? To not put her in a spot where she feels compelled or pressured to make a choice?’

‘Yes I said that. Because you wanted to propose marriage to her two days after you guys said ‘I love you’ to each other.’

Ram rolled his eyes in annoyance at the memory. He believed he had saved Bheem from falling off a cliff with that herculean stupid idea of his.

Bheem paused the frenzied pacing abruptly and held Ram’s shoulders.

‘Exactly. I did all that you said. I waited. Patiently. I didn’t blurt out or hinted anything. Not even once. I stayed mum all this while. But Anna, it’s been 3 months since we have been together. I…I think we are ready to take the next step. What do you think?’

For the first time that evening, and in a long time, Ram smiled. Fondly. While shaking his head at Bheem.

‘My sweet brother - how could I be the judge of that? Only you two could know where you are in your relationship.’

‘That’s not true. You know her world better than me. You can see things from her lens. If she hadn’t been here, if it hadn’t been me but one of….well….those white men, would they have waited 3 months or more to pop the question? What’s the norm?’

Ram smiled even more, irking Bheem this time.

‘Glad my troubles are amusing to you.’

Bheem huffed and crossed his hands across his chest.

‘Oh no no, it’s not like that. It’s just funny that of all the people in this world, you decided to come to ME for relationship advice. I am laughing at the irony, not you.’

Bheem just shrugged in response. Ram was the smartest person he knew, and he trusted him with his life. So ofcourse he had gone to Ram for advice. Plus, Ram had saved him from quite a few faux-pas during his whirlwind romance. And, he had asked Sita to marry him. Surely he would have some pearls of wisdom to offer.

‘Look Bheem, no part of this is as per the norm. While you made your courtship official to the tribal council, her living together with you all these months is not the accepted practice in her world. In fact, it would be frowned upon and would cause immense uproar in her family. She has defied every rule set for her by following you here, so that shouldn’t be your benchmark. Your relationship has moved at a very different pace. You both have been through a lot, in this short span of three months. Forget the norm, just ask yourself if you think she is ready.’

Bheem was dreading this answer. Frankly, he didn’t want to rely just on his own heart. If he had followed his stupid heart, he would have foolishly proposed three months back itself.

Ram saw his inner turmoil through his transparent face.

‘Ok - let’s go through a few parameters. She wanted to be more self-reliant, right? To learn the ways of your world. How do you think she fares in that now?’

‘Frankly, she has surprised me. Surpassed all my assumptions. She has been the most diligent student, Anna. In household stuff and outside stuff alike. I don’t need to tell you that, since you have already graduated her from knife training to a revolver. She has picked up the language so quickly. All day, she busies herself in one thing or another. As if wanting to do a crash course on everything related to my world. Long story short, I don’t believe that to be an issue anymore.’

Ram nodded in agreement. Jenny was one of the best students he ever had. He had seen her evolve rapidly in all departments.

‘Great. Now, what about communication? She wanted you to share more with her, about your troubles, and not keep shielding her from the sad realities. Where do you guys stand on that?’

Bheem paused for introspection. After that massive and near-terminal fight at the beginning, they had started to communicate better. It had taken conscious effort, on both sides, to not let their insecurities affect what they said to each other. To actually share things as they were. Because the unspoken things were doing more harm than good.

‘Yes, we learnt it the hard way but we are fine now.’

‘Super. What about her health? You were worried initially about her adapting to the climate and food.’

‘That’s settled too. She got a few bouts of fever and food poisoning initially but that I had anticipated. Since then, she has adapted well.’

Ram nodded his head silently, while going through the checklist in his mind. There wasn’t much else to ask. All of their initial hiccups in the relationship seemed to have been sorted. There was one elephant in the room, though. Ram decided to address it head on.

‘Finally, Bheem, are you over the stupid notion that you don’t deserve her? That she would walk away any day, wanting no more of this life with you?’

Bheem’s mood suddenly turned solemn and his face fell. Ram had to resist the urge to offer physical comfort.

‘Anna, to be honest, I don’t think that fear will go away fully. Ever. I think she knows it too. But she has shown me in her own way how much she…loves me. And that this isn’t some exotic adventure for her. She has given her all and more to our relationship. So, I don’t want to let this fear rule my life anymore.’

This time, Ram couldn’t stop himself from hugging his little pumpkin. The pumpkin hugged back instantly. Separating after a few pats on the back.

‘In that case, my friend, you are ready. Go and make me proud.’

Panic hit Bheem, suddenly.

‘Go? What do you mean go? I can’t just say it like that. What would I even say? What should I do? I should do something, right? I can’t just ask this plainly. It has to be special, how do I make it special? Why are you looking at me like that, Anna? What should I do?’

‘That is not my department. You should ask the wise one.’

‘Yes, Sita would know. Surely, she would know what to do. I will go find her now. Oh Anna, thanks a ton.’

Bheem crushed Ram in a bear hug, his excitement palpable from his every move.

Before galloping away to find Sita, Bheem turned around to look at Ram one final time.

‘Anna - she won’t say no, right?’

‘Bheem, the only question is, how quickly will she say yes. My guess is under a second. Unless there are tears. From both sides. You are going to cry, aren’t you?’

‘I shall neither confirm nor deny that.’

With that, Bheem ran away to find Sita. Leaving Ram in an uncharacteristically pleasant mood.

Sita had just finished her chores for the afternoon, and was sitting under the banyan tree near her hut, knitting for the village new-borns.

Bheem whooshed past her in his rush, only turning back when he heard her singing.

Sita was initially alarmed to see Bheem so frenzied, but he quickly assured her that all was well.

She patted to the makeshift bench next to her, and Bheem sat down, nervously wriggling his fingers.

‘Where were you all day? I made kheer. Was looking for you but you were nowhere to be found.’

‘Ahh I was caught up in something. Actually, I wanted to talk to you about something.’

‘Let me get you some kheer. Then we will talk.’

Bheem didn’t protest. A little kheer won’t do anyone any harm.

Sita returned shortly with the creamy delicacy, which Bheem gobbled in 5 bites, licking around his mouth for any leftovers. Sita smiled fondly at his antics.

‘So, what did you want to talk about?’

Bheem looked down & quickly repeated what he had told Ram, about his intentions to marry Jenny. In some ways, Sita’s thoughts would be more insightful here since she was the closest to Jenny here, after him.

When there was silence for the next few moments, Bheem looked up to find moistness in Sita’s eyes.

She cupped his face gently, and dropped an affectionate peck to his forehead.

‘Oh dear, you have no idea how happy that made me. I am sooo thrilled for my friend. And I am equally overjoyed for you, my sweet Bheem. You two deserve all the happiness in the world. May god save you from all evil eyes. My love and blessings will always be with you both.’

Sita held his hands, while saying all the prayers for the couple. Bheem couldn’t help but smile at this pure soul. Her nobility, her kindness, her wisdom, and her resolve was second to none. Truly, a goddess reincarnated. Sometimes, Bheem saw traces of his mother’s care and affection in her. He was very fond of Sita and always held her in high regard.

She was also as intuitive as his mother, quickly sensing his hesitation.

‘What’s troubling you, Bheem? Your smile isn’t fully reaching your eyes.’

‘Sita - you know her as well as I do. Tell me - is this the right time? Will I overwhelm her by asking now? Should I wait some more. I don’t…I am not going to do anything which causes her any stress.’

‘I will tell you what I feel. But before that, tell me, what does your heart say?’

‘I feel marriage is just a nomenclature for us now. We are already married in our hearts. But still, this is very important for me. And I know that she believes in marriage too. I just want her to be mine, in every way humanly possible. That’s what I feel.’

Sita smiled serenely at the adorable person she loved like a brother. They must have been siblings in a previous life.

She reached out and held his hand.

‘Here is what I think. She has been in this world for 21 years but she has truly lived in the last one year, since she has met you. And especially the last three months. Her hopes, fears, prayers, trepidations, pretty much all sentiments are linked to you, Bheem. She never thought this could be a reality, that you would ever love her back like she did. Every day, she thanks her stars for bringing you to her. Every effort she has made to assimilate and adapt here has all been for you.’

Bheem felt a lump in his throat, too overcome with emotion to say anything. She squeezed his hand lightly and continued.

‘Her time here has not been without challenges. You know that. But what you may not know is how much she appreciates you letting her navigate her own path. To make her own choices. Bheem - when you understood her hesitations about motherhood, it meant the world to her. When you let her fall, get hurt, get lost sometimes while learning this way of life, that support is all she needs. It shows her that you see her. You hear her. You understand her. You support her. You respect her. We all know how much that has hurt you, to let her go through any kind of pain, which is why she is all the more grateful. Her world begins and ends with you, my dear Bheem - there is no need to have any second thoughts.’

Bheem hung on to every word, smiling through his hazy eyes. Sita’s validation is what he needed. He had no doubt that Jenny loved him as unconditionally and irrevocably as he loved her. It hadn’t been easy but they had gotten here. What they had was so special, he couldn’t afford to make any stupid move to mess that up.

Grateful, he beamed back at Sita, who was wiping her eyes with her pallu and smiling like an idiot at the same time.

They brainstormed on how best to tell Jenny. And the things Bheem wanted to do to make the occasion even more special. Sita had a ton of ideas, Bheem loved them all. He had only two ideas but Sita cried again when she heard them. Clarifying between sobs that they touched her heart.

‘Oh Bheem, Jenny is so so lucky. Yes, please go ahead with both. I will help with the logistics.’

They were going to need at-least two days to execute the plan. Once all the details were finalised, Bheem looked at her earnestly.

‘I can’t thank Anna and you enough. Without you both, I would never have had the courage to do what I am going to do.’

‘One second, you asked Ram for suggestion? OUR RAM?’

‘Umm, yes?’

‘You do know he proposed to me when we were half asleep, after a harrowing day and a tumultuous fight, out of nowhere right?’

‘But you said yes, didn’t you?’

She sighed, resigned.

‘Yes. Yes, I did.’

‘I think that qualifies as mission accomplished.’

‘Yeah, whatever.’

They spent few more lazy moments together, then went their own ways. There was a lot to do.

Two days passed. And the D-Day was here.

Bheem was in Sita’s hut and they were cross-checking if everything was in place. Once Sita was satisfied, she kept the bag aside and held Bheem by his shoulders. Both smiled at each other. Both looked like absolute lunatics to Ram, who was observing their histrionics from a distance.

But when Sita put tilak on Bheem’s forehead and fed him some sweet curd, for good omen, Ram couldn’t help himself from chiming in.

‘Sita, he is not going on a war, for heaven’s sake.’

Both pair of eyes turned on him, Sita’s more annoyed than Bheem’s, obviously.

Ram looked away, muttering under his breath.

‘Bheem, ignore this robot. He can take his cynicism and shove it where the sun doesn’t shine. You go on. I will wait to hear the good news.’

After a comforting and reassuring hug from Sita, Bheem headed out, smiling at the faint bickering between Ram-Sita in the background. Holding the bag close to his chest. Trying to relive all the pep talk from the last few days, to not panic.

But alas, Jenny wasn’t in the hut. Where could she go at this time?

He looked around, trying to keep a lid on his paranoia. Just then, a neighbour told him she had seen her near the well in the village courtyard.

And there she was. Frolicking with toddlers in the makeshift pool created for them, since these children were too young to bathe in the stream or the river.

She had a one year old in her lap, who was too young to even dip in this pool. So, she was splashing him with tiny droplets while he was bouncing in her arms. The other kids took advantage of the distraction and splashed her with fists full of water. Their giggles sounded like a song of nature. A celebration of freedom. An expression of pure unadulterated bliss.

Bheem stood in the shadows, admiring the scene. He should take her swimming soon. Last time, the river current had been too much for Jenny. She was used to swimming in pools and lakes but not in running water. So she had clung to him the whole time, head to toe, not letting go for a second. The memory made him all fuzzy.

Bheem couldn’t wait anymore and called out to Jenny. She waved back happily, safely returned the infant to his mother, bid goodbye to the other kids and semi-hopped towards him. Just when he thought she couldn’t get any more adorable.

Seeing her with toddlers always tugged at his heart strings. A strange desire mixed with ache. A hope for a family, if and when the notion appeals to her.

‘Hello hello. Earth to Bheem. Where are you lost?’

They were walking back, hand in hand. Jenny was chattering away, but Bheem was too lost in his imaginations to register her pearly voice.

Pearly voice. Bheem was amused as to how he had an adjective for everything related to her.

‘You had a good day?’

‘Oh it was absolutely lovely. I was walking by and the kids just dragged me in. You could have joined us in the merrymaking.’

She elbowed him lightly, glancing up at him. He seemed a bit lost today and she wondered if everything was well.

‘I have other plans for us today. But before that, let’s get you changed. You are soaking wet right now.’

She hummed and rested her head on his shoulder, lacing their fingers together.

Upon reaching the hut, Jenny started to pick up a change of clothing, when Bheem gently held her wrist.

‘Umm I have brought something for you. A saree. Will you wear that for me?’

‘Awww my darling. That’s so sweet. Ofcourse I will wear it now. But, how come this all of a sudden? Anything special today?’

She wrapped her arms around his neck as he held her close and looked straight into her eyes.

‘Every moment with you is special. You make it special, by just being with me.’

He said it so earnestly, so matter-of-factly that she nearly forgot to breathe for a few seconds, losing her way in his eyes.

When she went to take out the garments from the bag, Bheem jumped & took the bag out of her reach, handing her the red blouse and petticoat sheepishly. She looked at him curiously, convinced that he was up to something, but decided to play along.

While she changed in the adjoining chamber, Bheem bounced around the hut, praying to all gods known to mankind. Praying to his parents, seeking their blessings.

He also did a few squats, push-ups to dissipate the nervous every plaguing his body. He was in the middle of a headstand when he heard the door open, losing his balance and falling flat on his face with a loud thud. Thankfully, she didn’t see any of it.

Jenny walked out, knocking the wind out of his chest. The red blouse, fitted to perfection, a perfect match for her radiant skin. The petticoat around her slender, smooth, curvy lower waist. Her damp hair dangling over one shoulder, while she ran her fingers through them to sort the messy strands.

‘Help me with this please? I can’t reach it.’

She turned her back to him, pointing to the thread to tie the blouse.

Bheem’s fingers slid up her part-bare back, of their own volition, and tied the thread gently. Checking on the sturdiness of the knot by pulling at it with his teeth. Enjoying her resulting shudder & goosebumps.

Sliding an arm over her waist, he turned her around, admiring her from head to toe. He was particularly proud of the fit of the blouse, given he had relied solely on his memory for the measurements. She realised it too & glanced away, trying to hide her fluster.

Finally, he pulled out the saree from the bag and she clapped in delight. It was a traditional Indian red & white saree. Jenny had been longing for one since she had seen it on a few women in Delhi during festivities. But only Sita knew about her fondness for it. And ofcourse she had told Bheem. Ofcourse.

Draping the saree was an adventure. Neither knew how to do it properly. Bheem knew the mechanics but actually doing the pleats was far more complicated than the concept of it. She helped however she could, letting her body loose like a doll for him to manoeuver, as he figured out which side to pull the pallu from. They laughed and giggled through it all.

The end result was quite close to a saree. Atleast that’s what they both insisted. Sita would have disagreed, ofcourse.

Bheem was far from being done. He sneaked into that suspicious bag again and pulled out a set of jhumkis, a waist chain, a red bindi and a gajra. Donning them all on her carefully, like she was made of rose petals.

Mesmerised, she just followed his movements. Every little thing he had picked to adorn her body was perfect. Stunning. He was dressing her up like a devoted priest would dress a goddess before the temple opening every morning. Readying her to be worshipped. The lump in her throat grew.

‘B-Bheem, all this….what’s happening?’

The way he looked at her then, she knew something momentous was going to happen.

Bheem held her hands, bringing them to his eyes first, and then to his lips, finally keeping them close to his chest, letting her feel his rapidly thumping heart.

‘Do you hear what it is saying?’

He pressed her hands further into his chest. She looked at him pleadingly, voice cracking in her throat.

‘Bangaram, it’s saying that it belongs to you, now and forever. For this life and the next six. You own my heart. You own my life. You own my soul, Jenny.’

Jenny leaned forward and lightly brushed her lips against his while pressing their foreheads together.

‘I…I know, my love.’

She whispered against his lips. Then stepped back to communicate the same through her eyes.

‘It is also scared. Not as scared as earlier, though, when it used to not feel deserving enough of you. Because you made it believe that you did love this fool back. You made the fears go away. You made it dream. You made it fly. You made it hope. You made it full. You made it worthy. You made it your home.’

Jenny tried hard to rein in her emotions but tears had started to drop from the corner of her eyes. He kissed away a few. She was shaking, as was he. They continued to cling to each other for support.

‘It’s scared because without you, it will suffocate to death. It won’t know how to function, how to get by. It doesn’t recollect what life used to be before you, or if that was any life at all. It can not imagine a life without you. You made it greedy, bangaram. Because now, it wants you fully. Exclusively. Forever.’

She desperately gripped his shoulder for support and started to respond, but he placed his palm over her lips.

‘If you say something now, I would lose the strength to continue. I am not good with words jaan, you know that.’

Jenny broke into a helpless giggle. Man had the audacity to say that after putting Jane Austen to shame with his ballad of love. But she nodded nonetheless, asking him to continue.

What he did next made her head reel.

Bheem went down on one knee, looking up at her with all the love he could muster.

‘I have wanted to do this since the day I told you I loved you. It felt right then. It feels right now. You are the light of my life, the centre of my universe, the reason for my existence. I want to grow old with you, Jenny.’

He pulled out the last item from the bag. A pair of gold-plated bangles that belonged to his mother. Jenny knew what those were; he had told her it was the only belonging of his mother that he had. That his father had given her on the day Bheem was born. It looked recently polished but Jenny was certain it was the same pair. Her heart threatened to burst out of her chest.

‘I know you know what these are and what they mean to me. All I can say is, you mean as much now, as she did. Amma would have loved for you to have these. I wish she was here. I wish she had given these to you herself. But I know she is smiling up there, watching over us.’

Jenny felt like she would combust any moment. She pinched herself a few times to ensure it wasn’t a dream.

‘Jenny Buxton, would you make me the happiest being to ever exist on this earth, by being mine forever? By….by being my wife?’

She fell down on her knees, throwing her arms around him, almost toppling him with the impact. She cupped his face and kissed him all over, like her life depended on it, whispering ‘yes’ with each kiss.

It took Bheem fifteen yes to finally believe it. When he did, he pulled her into his lap, kissing her back as desperately and passionately. When they parted after what seemed like an eternity, he held her wrists and slid the bangles lovingly on them.

He found her beautiful always. But today was extra special. No goddess, no angel, no divine being could match up to her glow today. He wanted her to see what he was seeing. So he took her in front of the full length mirror, that he had especially gotten for her (with immense efforts) when she had come to Adilabad.

She stood there, fiddling with the fabric and all the ornaments, quite pleased with herself too.

Strong arms wrapped around her waist from behind, as Bheem buried his head into the side of her neck, which she could both feel and see through the mirror. His fingers started to play with the chain on her waist, as he nibbled around her neck and shoulder.

‘You could wear this saree on our wedding. It has both red and white. To represent both our cultures and marriage traditions.’

Jenny had to close her eyes, and not just because she was feeling dizzy with all his ministrations. Every-time she thought this man couldn’t get any more thoughtful, he did something like this.

She traced his arm which was wrapped around her waist, playing with the hair there. While her other hand reached back to caress his bearded cheek. He immediately leaned into her palm, nuzzling against it.

‘I want to take your name.’

He paused and looked up. Their eyes met through the mirror.

‘I don’t wanna be Jenny Buxton after the wedding. I want to take your name. I want everything a married woman has with her husband. Everything.’

Jenny didn’t know why that statement generated such fire in Bheem. He seemed to be undressing her with his eyes now, through the mirror. She had to break the gaze and look away.

His hands became more urgent, more insistent, roaming all over, turning her into a hot mess.

‘Since you have to wear this attire on our wedding, maybe we should keep it safe and take it off, yes?’

‘Oh, ‘we’ should take it off is it?’

She managed to find her voice.

‘Yes. It’s a two-person job.’

‘Uh-huh.’

Bheem took it atrociously slow, taking his time to undo her piece by piece. Not letting her help. Pinning her wrists in one hand.

He planned to only leave the bangles on her.

Just then, a loud knock on the door interrupted his flow.

‘Anna - the recce team is back from Hyderabad. Should I tell them you will meet them now?’

Bheem took a few deep breaths. The messenger was just doing his job, he didn’t want to yell at him.

Jenny was amused, observing his reaction. Pressed up close to him, she felt the state he was in and knew he wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon.

‘Tell them I will come later.’

‘Ok. Should I tell them 15 minutes?’

‘15 MINUTES? Tell them one hour.’

He thought for a second, then called out again.

��Actually, make that two hours. Go, tell them right now.’

The messenger scuttled away quickly, wanting to relay Bheem’s message ASAP.

And Bheem went back to celebrating his engagement with the love of his life. As planned, he left only the bangles on her. Loving the way they looked. The way they felt as she wrapped her arms around his neck. As her hands gripped his shoulders, his arms, his back, his face.

He just wanted to indulge in her attentions, immerse in her softness, drown in her love. Other things could wait. Other people could wait. Today was just for the two of them. The day that neither would forget for as long as they live. The day where they committed to be each other’s. Forever, and for always.

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That was it, folks. Hope you liked it. Would love to hear your thoughts, as always!

@irisesforyoureyes @rambheem-is-real @thewinchestergirl1208 @eremin0109 @eenadu-varthalu @rorapostsbl @yehsahihai @budugu @maraudersbitchesassemble @justmeand-myinsight @rambheemisgoated @rosayounan @jrntrtitties @obsessedtoafault @rambheemlove @jjwolfesworld @alikokinav @iam-siriuslysher-lokid @dumdaradumdaradum @lovingperfectionwonderland

@chaanv @ssabriel @milla984 @kaagazkefool @boochhaan @mesimpleone @filesbeorganized @ladydarkey @teddybat24 @stanleykubricks @burningsheepcrown @veteran-fanperson @ronika-writes-stuff @beingmes-blog @yonderghostshistories @nisreenart @chaidrivenwhore @bheemaxrama @umbrulla @mizutaama @rosefulmadness @gifseafins @fangirlshrewt97 @voidsteffy @maooyinysparkle @amalthea9 @vijayasena @stars-in-the-distance @astrafangs

#rrr #tarak #jr ntr #bheem #ntr jr #charan #rambheem #bheem rrr #ram #bheemjenny #jenny rrr #sita rrr #ramsita

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fangirlshrewt97 · 1 year

Conversation

Sita: I just met Bheem

Ram:

Ram: And?

Sita: *waits five seconds, and then bursts out laughing*

Ram: Stoooooop

Sita: Of course you fell for the one man made of literal sunshine, this is so funny

Ram: I am glad my misery brings you such joy

Sita *snorts*: You're not miserable because you're in love with Bheem. You are miserable because that's your personality.

#rrr #incorrect quotes #incorrect rambheem quotes #incorrect rrr quotes #alluri sitarama raju #rambheem #ram x bheem #komuram bheem #sita rrr

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sonaswrld · 2 years

Text

RAM >>

#them 🥺#my heart is soft for them #rrr #sita ramam #dulquer salmaan #ram charan

288 notes · View notes

mesimpleone · 1 year

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Although many new performers enter the scene each year, your attractiveness has stayed unchanged during the past generation. Sometimes we forget that what we see on film is not real because of how convincing your acting seems—sending best wishes for a happy birthday celebration. Someone as brilliant 😇and capable as you deserve success on every level. Embrace this love and use it to discover all the secrets it has. Whether young or old, may God always bless you with a wealth of skill. Happy birthday charan🥰🥰 sir and i know i m late 🥲🥲

@astrafangs @bheemaxrama @ladydarkey @boochhaan @ronnoxandlumoss @ronaldofandom @rosayounan @rapunzels-stuff @ssabriel @ssrajamouli @carminavulcana @minusculetony @veteran-fanperson @stanleykubricks @jrntrtitties @rambheemlove @ramcharantitties @justmeand-myinsight @jadebomani @your-villainous-neighbour @yehsahihai @vishielmao @jjwolfesworld @panko-tattoo @anubhutis-stuff @gifseafins @kakashi @kashpaymentsonly @kajaaaaaaal @nerdylocksandthethreebears @eremin0109 @eenadu-varthalu @iam-siriuslysher-lokid @teddybat24 @tarakisms-blog @burningsheepcrown @doodledrawsthings @mishackles89 @milla984 @lovingperfectionwonderland @gayathreya @hufhkbgg @sally-for-sally @kaanangulzaar @kaagazkefool @umbrulla @seoz-seoz @hachinana87 @stars-in-the-distance @filesbeorganized

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milla984 · 1 year

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Thank you @fangirlshrewt97 for the request! [insp.]

@rambheemlove, @dumdaradumdaradum, @budugu, @burningsheepcrown, @iam-siriuslysher-lokid, @stanleykubricks, @ssabriel, @ronnoxandlumoss, @bitchy-bi-trash, @voidsteffy, @nyotamalfoy, @thewinchestergirl1208, @jrntrtitties, @ronaldofandom, @boochhaan, @lite-teesko, @stuckyandlarrystuff, @bromance-minus-the-b, @ladydarkey, @carminavulcana, @kaagazkefool, @vidhurvrika, @jjwolfesworld

»»»— read pinned post for taglist info —«««

»—— Gifset Masterlist link in my bio ——«

#rrr 2022 #rrr movie #rambheem #rambheem gifs #my gifs #rrr bheem #rrr ram #rrr bheem gifs #rrr ram gifs #but also babai and sita #rrr komaram bheem #rrr ramaraju #rrr ramaraju and bheem #milla gifs rrr

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peterhumbolt · 1 year

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Sita and her Eevee 🔥💧⚡

#rrr #rrr fanart #rrr fandom #rrr sita #rrr movie #pokemon crossover #rrr film

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eenadu-varthalu · 2 years

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Happy Sunday my dear sunflowers, here’s some Letterboxd reviews that had me giggling like a third grader (pt1)

#letterboxd #rrr #rrr movie #jr ntr #ss rajamouli #ram charan #manichitrathazhu #shobana #mohanlal #magadheera #iruvar #mani ratnam #bombay #mahanati #keerthy suresh #dulquer salmaan #sita ramam #yamadonga

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tasavvur-e-jaana · 10 months

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Jhumka gira re

The main street running through the bazaar was crowded with people, the enlightened lanterns in each shop giving a rustic, festive look to the arena. The aroma of hot jalebis, sweets, and other savoury dishes dispersed with the dhup (incense) scent of various flowers which the shopkeepers lit to keep the mosquitoes and other insects away. The cacophony of the mingled sounds did not appear as bothersome to the two people swimming through the ocean of men, women, and children alike.

Bheem was walking at a leisurely pace, unlikely for him, mostly because he was almost stopping at each halwai’s shop to take in the delicious aroma of the frying oils and mouthwatering delicacies. His legs halted at one such foodstall where the man was frying fresh jalebies, catering to a small crowd which had accumulated at the shop. Bheem saw the halwai - he was wearing a typical white dhoti with a vest and a gamcha on his shoulders which he was using every 10 seconds to wipe off the sweat from being near the big-ass, hot kadhai as he was pouring the batter and frying the jalebis in perfect little concentric circles. The curly haired man could just stand there and watch the process for hours.

He donned a thick moustache, with furry brows which were concentrated on the action as he was humming an old song while working. Much to Bheem’s delight, he was healthy, the belly trying to defy the confines of the vest. Not to be offensive, but Bheem thought that the best of the halwais have to be on the healthier side, because then it meant that they really loved to eat and feed people. They truly would be passionate about it.

“Kya mol hai jalebi ka?” (What price is the jalebi?) He asked.

“Teen aana ser!” (Three aanas for 1.250 kg.) The guy answered.

“Hmm…Bhabhi tum-” (Sister-in-law would you…) The older man turned to find his companion missing. His initial reaction was to panic, of course. Before he could have a tiny heart attack, fortunately he spotted his companion at a shop two shops away, standing far behind, at a shop of jewellry.

The man heaved a sigh of relief as he skipped back, telling the halwai that he will be back.

Seetha was staring, stiff as a statue at a pair of jhumkas hanging by the side. They were beautiful, oxidised silver maybe, with typical dome-like shape with intricately woven metal design and small ghunghroos in the periphery of the hemispherical structure. They shone just the right amount when the light of the lanter fell on them, making them look sparkly.

She did not realise she had screeched to a halt dreaming about how they would look on her, until a hand on her elbow shook her out of the reverie. “Ohh! Bheem! Maaf karna mujhe main-” (Oh, I apologise I-)

“Kya hua? Tum achanak aise ruk gayi.” (What happened? You just stopped here?) Bheem looked at her, his worry morphing into concern as he caught glimpse of tears at the corner of her eyes. “Bhabhi, sab theek?” (Bhabhi, sab thik?) he asked gently.

Seetha shook her head, conjuring up an instant smile. “Han bilkul! Chalo! Tumhe mila kuchh khane ke liye? Mili koi jagah jahan ki khusboo mein woh kashish ho?” (Yes, of course! Come on! Did you find something suiting your tastes? Did you finally find the shop where the aroma was intoxicating as you desired?) She teased, but the grin did not reach her eyes.

Bheem thought for a moment how to approach her, having seen her line of sight where she had been viewing, still as a statue, with desire in her dark brown orbs. Maybe she wanted to buy something for herself? But he had never seen her wearing something fancy, mostly bare minimum with the most bland shades and simple attire.

He stepped forward and took the same pair which Seetha had been eyeing in his hands, not taking it off the stand. “Kitna khubsoorat hai na ye jhumka?” (How beautiful is this earring, isn’t it?)

“Han! J enny par khoob jachega. Uske liye le rahe ho?” (Yes! It will look magnificient on Jenny. You are thinking of buying for her, right?)

Ughh! She was more stubborn than his anna. However, the gond man was not the one to back off, and neither he was the one to mince his words. They were close enough now, after months of friendship and working in close quarters. “Main tumhare liye keh raha hoon!” (I was asking for you!) his voice took a slightly stern note.

To his irritation, Seetha only laughed. “Tumne kabhi pehle mujhe iss tarah ke gehne pehne hue dekha hai?” (You’re being silly. Have you ever seen me in such fancy stuff before? This is too much.)

“Iska matlab yeh thode hi hai ke tum kabhi pehno hi nahi?” (That doesn’t mean you cannot wear it ever.)

“Bheem! Rehne do. Tum agar lena chaho, toh Jenny ke liye le sakte ho, warna chalo aage. Waqt zaya nahi karte fizool baaton aur fizool kharchi mein.” (Bheem! Leave it. If you want to buy it for Jenny, then please do. Or else let us not spend time on unimportant things and waste money.)

“Seetha! Uff! Tum-” (Seetha! Uff! You-)

“Kya?” (What?) she raised her voice a bit as well. “Main kya? Kuchh ghalat kaha maine?” (Me what? Tell me how am I in the wrong here.) She regretted the anger instantly, which deflated like a pack of cards, “Main us tarah ki ladki nahi hoon…” (I am not a girl who…)

But bheem was really irked now. “KIS TARAH KI LADKI NAHI HO? Jo apne liye koi bhi wo cheez na kharide jo use pasand hai? Jo kabhi apne kiye ek pal bhi na soche? Jo-” The man clenched his jaw shut because the next sentence he was going to say would have been extremely inappropriate.

(A GIRL WHO WHAT? The one who does not buy a pretty thing forherself once in a while? The one who does not think about her happiness? The one-)

“Jo kya? Batao Bheem! Jo kya?” (The one who what? Finish the sentence Bheem!)

“Nahi.” (No.)

“Thik hai, main kehti hoon jo tumhare mann mein tha.” her tone went eerily calm. “Jo kisi ki mangetar ko kar bhi vidhva ke jaise jee rahi ho. Yahi kehna chahte the na?”

(Fine. Let me finish it for you. The one who has a living, breathing fiance but still chooses to dress like a widow. This is what you wanted to say, didn’t you?)

“NAHI!” (NO!) He denied outright. Seetha glared at him. “Umm- bilkul un shabdon mein nahi.” He added sheepishly. “Lekin main yeh zaroor kahunga, ke iss tarah apni har ek hasrat ka gala ghotne ki zaroorat nahi hai.”

(Umm- not in those exact words. But I will say this, that don’t squish your desires like a bug in the night. There is no need.)

Seetha smiled at her companion. It was a short-lived, tiny smile. “Bheem, sach kahun?” He nodded his head. “Ab aadat si ho gai hai. Meri sari sakartmakta, mera vishwas, mera dridh nishchay, mera vishwas ke hum jeetenge, mera junoon, sab Ram ko sambhalne mein vyay ho gaya hai. Uske jaane ke baad bhi usi ke liye jiya. Uske na hone ka ehsaas jo pal pal mujhe khaaye jaa raha tha- Bheem! Tumne uske Dilli se likhe gaye khat nahi padhe, jab wo wahan bilkul akela tha. Main…” She brushed away a tear. “Main tumhari bohot bohot shukraguzaar hoon ke tum uski zindagi mein aaye.”

(Bheem, may I be honest? It has become a habit now. All my positivity, my optimism, my perseverance, and my belief that we will win- all has been spent up on Ram. Even after he left, it felt like I was only living for him. This absence chipped away at me minute by minute- Bheem! You have not read the letters he sent from Dilli which he sent when he was utterly and completely alone. I… I am so very grateful to you that you found him and came in his life when you did.)

This time, her smile was genuine, grateful. Although Bheem was glad, the gratefulness did not settle well with him. Seetha should not be thanking him! They were in the middle of the bazaar and even though Bheem wanted to know more, and knock sense into his friend- very literally, this was not the right time and place. All the curly haired man knew was he was buying Seetha the pair. And one for Jenny too, he already had his heart set on the one next to it.

Just as he turned to ask the shopkeeper how much they cost, there was another young man, his hands clasped with a young woman, radiating joy who asked to see that particular pair. “Ji woh…” (Umm those-) Bheem started politely, with Seetha behind him, “Woh darasal main khareed raha hoon. Aap koi aur kyun nahi le lete?” (Actually I am buying those. Why don’t you look for another pair?)

The guy seemed disappointed. “Lekin Shobha, meri mangetar ko ye sab se zyada pasand hain.” he tried to argue. (But Shobha, my fiancee, she has her heart set on them of all!)

“Bheem!” A hand landed on his arm. “Theek hai. Shayad mere nasib mein nahi hain ye jhumke. Bhaisahab aap hi le lijiye.” (It’s okay. They are not for me anyway. Please you buy them for your fiancee.) She glanced at the couple, giddy in each others presence, and she could sense the love radiating off them in waves. A cloud of sorrow shrouded her once more and her face fell in defeat. It all happened in an instance and Bheem, in this moment, only wanted to run back to the village and punch Ram in the face. A couple of times at least.

“Dekhiye main yeh apni bhabhi ke liye khareed raha hoon, meri iltija hai aapse ke aap koi aur dekh lein.” (Look! I am buying this for my sister-in-law. I really beg you to reconsider.) The man looked at his fiance once who gestured it was okay. He shrugged, “Thik hai!” (Fine.)

“Aapka bohot bohot shukriya!” (Thank you! Thank you so much!)

“Bheem! Kya kar rahe ho?” (What are you doing, Bheem?)

“Main khareed raha hoon yeh tumhare liye.” (I am buying them for you.)

“Iski koi zarurat nahi.” (No.)

“Hai! Tum meri bhabhi ho, kya ye rishta koi maayne nahi rakhta?” (YES! You are like a sister to me! Does that no mean anything to you?) The puppy eyes were at full attack.

“Maine tumse kya kaha tha?” (What did I say to you about this?) Seetha stood there, crossing her hands.

“Meri ye harketein sirf Ram aur Jenny par kaam karti hain!” (That the puppy eyes and emotional blackmail works only on Ram and Jenny.) He pouted. Seetha smiled at his adorable nature. “Lekin main sahi mein tumhe tohfa dena chahta hoon. Main ek Jenny ke liye bhi le raha hoon.” (But I really do want to gift you these. I am buying one for Jenny too!)

“Bohot khushnaseeb hai woh ladki!” (That girl is the luckiest!)

“Kya Ram kabhi tumhare liye-” (What? Ram never- for you?) Seetha shook her head. “Woh kehta hai tumhe jo chahiye tum khud laa sakti ho. Meri kya zaroorat hai?” (Well, he says I can buy whatever I need or want for myself. There is not need for him to be there.)

“Ughh!! Nihaayati bewakoof hain wo! Ghar pohonch kar unki khabar leta hoon main.” (He really is the dumbest person! I will knock some sense into him when we get home.)

Seetha chuckled out loud. It was the sweetest sound. “Main nahi rokungi tumhe!” (I would not stop you.) She jested.

“Thik hai. Toh tay raha. Hum ghar jaa kar khabar le rahe hain unki.” (Good. Deal. We go home and kick his idiotic ass.)

He turned to the shopkeeper who was busy with other customers. “Bhaisahab, ye jhumke kitne ke diye?” (Mister, how much do these earrings cost?)

“Dedh rupiya pura.” (One and a half rupee.)

“KYA? Itna zyadam dam?” (WHAT? This is too pricey!) Seetha gawked from behind, nonplussed. “Bheem yeh toh bohot mehenge hain. Rehne do, chalo.” (Leave it, Bheem. They are too expensive.)

“Lekin behenji aap karigari to dekhiye. Itni baariq aur safaimand aapko kahin iss mol mein mile toh main dukaan band kar dunga.” (But madam, look at the ornate design. If you find such intricate and polished work elsewhere in these parts, in these prices, I will close my shop.)

Bheem too was stumped. Not only because of the price, but because he wasn’t sure he had that amount on him. They already had done the supply shopping, the heavy bags at the owner’s place which they were going to carry after taking a walk in the bazaar while returning. He quickly took out the remaining amount and counted. It was exactly one and a half rupees left. He would not be able to buy anything for Jenny, or get the jalebis if he got the earrings.

Seetha peaked into his palm, taking out her own purse. There was only 5 annas left. “Bheem. Mere liye mat lo. Sirf Jenny ke liye hi lete hain.” (Bheem. Let’s just buy something for Jenny.)

“Nahi! Main pichle mahine hi laya tha uske liye kuchh cheezein.” (No. I bought her some jewllery only last month.) He had made up his mind. The gond man offered the rupee and a half to the shopkeeper. “Ji de dijiye.” (Please, we’ll take it.) Seetha caught his hand. “Bheem!”

He looked at her with determined gaze in the honey dipped eyes. “Agar tumhare liye zara se bhi pyaar hai mere liye toh aaj nahi rokogi tum mujhe.” (If you love me even a little bit, you will not stop me now.) It did not sound like blackmail. It rang like an ultimatum in the air, hanging between the two - the shopkeeper all the while watching this charade and getting frustrated.

“Lena hai ya nahi?” (Are you buying them or not?) He finally asked.

“Bilkul.” (Of course.) Bheem handed him the money. He took the paper wrapped packet and started walking with Seetha in tow.

“Tumne mol bhaav bhi nahi kiya! Buddhu ho tum!” (You didn’t even bargain! You fool!)

“Tumhari khushi ka woh kya mol lega bhabhi. Dedh rupiya hi toh tha! Magar han, agar mol lagaata toh shayad yeh lazeez jalebiyan kha paata.” (Bhabhi, no one can put a price on your happiness. It was only a rupee and a half. But yes, if I had bargained, we could have left some money for the delicious jalebis.) They had reached the jalebi stall again, the halwai still making the delicacy.

“Koi baat nahi mere pyare Bheemudu!” (No worries, my Bheemudu!) She linked his hand with her as she dragged him toward the food. “Mere paas abhi bhi 5 aane hain.” (I still have 5 annas left.) The smile Bheem gave her could have blinded a million suns.

“Are waah!” (YAY!) He perked up immediately. “Itne mein to pet bhar kar dher saari jalebi kha sakte hain hum! Aur le bhi jaayenge sab ke liye…” (This is enough to buy so many jalebis for all of us!)

@ronaldofandom

#doodles fics #rrr fics #rrr #rrr movie #bheem rrr #Sita rrr

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pctterscars · 2 years

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alia bhatt as sita in etthara jenda (rrr) icons

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ronaldofandom · 1 year

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A Love Eternal / Kabhi Alvida Na Kehna

Chapter 10 is here.

You have seen the sugary sweet love of BheemJenny so far. But what happens when the reality of life, their fears, their insecurities, and the clash of their worlds catch up with them? Is their love strong enough to tide them over that? That's what this chapter is about.

No warnings.

The mood board below is from the amazing @meastradeur - can't thank you enough for this gorgeous piece :))

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Chapter 10

(Links to Ch 1, Ch 2, Ch 3, Ch 4, Ch 5, Ch 6, Ch 7, Ch 8, Ch 9, Ch 11)

Sunset and riverside - a classic combo for Bheem. His happy place. Which had fast become their happy place. They were sitting on the edge, feet submerged in the gurgling water, as they watched the dipping sunlight dance along the waves. Her head resting on his shoulder. Her slender arms wrapped around his left elbow as her hands traced his muscles. His hand lying lazily in her lap, playing with the fabric of her skirt. The universe allowing them a few moments of peace and serenity. Enveloping them in it’s warmth.

A loud noise broke them out of their reverie. The soothing sunlight was replaced with a fog of dust and smoke. A bomb had exploded close to where they were sitting. Bheem gathered his wits in a few seconds and reached for Jenny - his first thought was to get her to safety. But…where was she? She wasn’t next to him anymore. The cloud of smoke made it tough to see so he reached out for her blindly. She was just here. Where did she go? He heard footsteps in the distance but the damned fog clouded his vision. He screamed for her desperately, running around, trying to trace her steps in the riverside sand. That’s when he saw the drag marks. Which disappeared shortly. His heart sank to his stomach. Someone had carried her away forcefully. Her torn scarf and her broken shell necklace the only evidence of her presence, and of her protests. He screamed and ran and searched blindly, tears streaming down his face, but to no avail. She was gone. Lost to him, maybe forever. He couldn’t keep her safe. The thought of what could be happening to her right now…..

Bheem woke with a start, and a scream, sitting up and holding his head in his hands. His mind had realized it was a dream the second he woke up, but his heart was still palpitating at a thousand beats per minute. The commotion awakened Jenny too, and her eyes landed on a very distressed Bheem. She sat up and tried to get him to face her, but he refused to move. Steadfastly hiding behind his hands.

Wanting to face him, she moved herself to sit in his lap. She rubbed his sweaty neck and shoulders softly, feeling the tension ease a bit from his straining muscles. She kissed the back of his hands covering his face, coaxing him to look at her. He relented under her persistent care and finally dropped his hands.

Jenny cupped his cheeks and kissed away the sweat from his brows. His hands fell around her waist, adjusting her subconsciously in his lap.

‘Oh sweetheart, was it another nightmare?’

She asked in between peppering gentle kisses on his face. His nightmares were not uncommon. They were mostly about his time in Delhi - sometimes about his helplessness to get to Malli and sometimes about his capture, and subsequent lashing. He hadn’t said the last bit to her explicitly but she had understood long back. He had tried to hide away the trauma and the lasting mental impact from that torture, from everyone, but she had seen through the wall he had built for himself. The nightmares had started to ease though. She was startled, therefore, about the impact of this one.

‘Shhhh. You are safe now. You are home. Malli is home. No one will hurt you here. Shhhh.’

She whispered gently, while trying to rub his arms. To make him see that the nightmarish reality was past him now.

He responded by holding on to her tightly, almost in a death grip, crushing her to himself. Wanting to feel her safe and warm, close to him. Wanting to wipe away the desperation and desolation he had felt a few moments back.

Sensing his troubled heart, she went along with it and wrapped her arms around his neck, letting him draw comfort and assurance from their proximity.

‘Did the informants bring some bad news? Did someone get…hurt? What has happened, my love? Please tell me, please?’

He breathed a sigh of relief as her lips touched his neck. But how was he supposed to tell her what he was worried about? It wasn’t about anybody else this time, it was about her. It was the first time he had had a nightmare about her. Ofcourse these thoughts had been playing on his mind for a long time but nothing could have prepared him for the sheer horror those few seconds unleashed.

She persisted, kissing the top of his eyes, nudging him to look at herself. When he finally did, she was started by the depth of emotion swimming in those otherwise gentle orbs. They were a concoction of fear, helplessness and distraughtness. Her heart broke for him.

She was desperate to make him feel better. When she tried to fetch some water for him, he didn’t let her move away. She tried to explain what she wanted to do but he didn’t budge, shaking his head vigorously at her attempts.

She resigned and settled in his lap again. Kissing the top of his sweaty head. Something had really spooked him out of his wits. She wished he would talk to him about it. He never spoke to her about the serious, troubling, everyday reality of his life, despite her multiple efforts. She wished for that to change soon. So she could share his pain and fears, not just his love and warmth.

‘Oh my love. What’s happened? Are you all right?’

She cradled his head in her chest.

‘Love you.’

That’s all he could say. And she hugged him tighter. He kept repeating the words over and over again, pouring out his love for her, but the pain in his voice tugged at her heart throughout.

She sensed the change in his touch, his breathing, his voice a few moments later. Before she could say anything, he had flipped her from his lap on to the cot, settling on top of her.

In the next instant, his lips engulfed hers. She reciprocated with all her might, wanting to make him forget all his troubles.

But when he slid down the straps of her nightgown, she grabbed his wrists softly, making him look away from her neck and into her eyes.

‘Kya hua, jaan? Kuch galat kiya maine?’

(What happened, love? Did I do something wrong?)

He wondered if it was too soon for her. They had been together for the first time only two nights ago. But that wasn’t it.

‘Subah ho gayi hain. Sab log bahar honge.’

(It’s early morning now. Everyone would be outside.)

Most people were early risers here, and their day began with the daybreak. She was worried someone might hear them.

His expression turned soft, almost akin to a smile. Almost.

‘Toh hone do. Koi farak nahi padhta.’

(Let them be. It doesn’t matter.)

She didn’t look too convinced but let the matter slide. There was another issue at hand though.

‘Aaj hume bahar jana tha na?’

(We had to spend the day outside, right?)

‘Aaj ka din humara hain. Thodi der baad chale jayenge.’

(Today is for us. We can go after some time also.)

‘Hmmm’

‘Aur kuch? (Anything else?)

Yes. I want you to tell me what’s eating away at you. I want you to talk to me before we…

She didn’t say the words out loud since she knew it was futile. She wouldn’t get anything out of him, not now, at least. So she just let go of his wrists in response.

The lovemaking that ensued was as intense as their first time. While they both better understood the mechanics of it now, the feeling of their union still hit them equally hard. The tentativeness was replaced by anticipation.

The familiarity, rightfulness and possessiveness of his touch consumed all her senses, filling her completely. She tried to keep up with his near-frenzied moves & pace but when she couldn’t, Jenny just submitted to his will. Taking in the surreal feeling of being the object of his infinite love, and his burning desire. Desperately wanting to wipe away that forlorn, melancholic expression from his face, and replace it with his usual cheerful serenity.

Bheem wanted to forget too, by losing himself in her. By being enveloped in her warmth and comfort. By feeling every inch of her, to constantly reassure himself that it had all been a bad dream. That she was here in his arms, safe & sound. Her breathless moans overshadowing the sound of the distant footsteps still fresh in his head. The blissful sensation building in the pit of his stomach overpowering the dread he had felt a few moments back.

He held on to her long after, just breathing in her scent. She stroked his face, upper arms, and back, whispering sweet nothings in his ear, as they both recovered from the emotionally draining experience, falling asleep in each other's arms.

When she woke up a few hours later, she was pleased to see him back to his usual chirpy self. He was gliding around the hut, whistling to himself as he prepared their meals for the day. He had insisted on cooking for her today. She had protested - he already did so much, she didn’t want him to take on more, definitely not for her sake, and certainly not on a rare day off. But then he looked crestfallen, so of course, she had agreed.

The day’s itinerary was filled with Bheem’s favorite places around the mountain. The little caves he used to play hide & seek in, the mud pits he was thrown into many times while jostling with his friends, and the bushy shrubbery they used to nap over. She was entranced - by the places but more by his memories associated with them. Despite all his troubles, his childhood seemed to have been a somewhat happy one. The thought brought her immense joy.

They stuck to places decently close to the village. Her stamina was limited, and he didn’t want to risk venturing too far either, still unnerved by his previous thoughts. She wanted to go to the river, but he couldn’t get himself to take her there, not yet, at least. So he took her to a secluded mountain lake uphill. The hike was a bit strenuous for her & he insisted on carrying her for parts of it. When they reached the lake, though, the sheer delight on her face told him it was well worth the effort. Jenny half-danced around the place, taking in the landscape, and relishing the vibrant colors. Her giddiness was infectious, and he ended up joining in her merry frolicking.

The water was too enticing, and the afternoon weather was perfect for a quick swim. But she was too tired from the exertion so far and had to grudgingly refuse his offer. Sensing her disappointment, he promised to bring her back there soon.

They sat under a tree and had their lunch. She showered him with compliments on the food, and he preened under her praise. Once done, she rested her back against the tree while Bheem laid his head in her lap. Wrapping her arm around his neck, he nuzzled his beard against it, tickling her sensitive skin and making her burst into a fit of giggles. While her other hand carded through his unruly curls.

He shut his eyes, enjoying the sound of her pearly laughter. They started working on his English practice at some point in the next hour. Jenny had taught him ABCD in a different way.

‘A for?’

‘Akhtar.’ He remembered this one easily. The name was special for both of them. This is how she had first known him.

‘Good. And B for?’

‘BHEEM.’ Pat came the reply and she smiled fondly.

‘Yes, B for Bheem. Beautiful. Brave. Bheem. Now, C for?’

He thought for a few seconds.

‘Chandni Chowk?’

‘Correct. And D?’

‘Delhi.’

All of these being special places in their life. Delhi had changed her world, and how. Delhi also made Bheem meet the two people who he loved with all his heart. Who he couldn’t imagine his life without.

‘Wonderful. And E for?’

‘Earth.’

He touched the ground below him.

‘Excellent. And F for?’

When he was stumped, she motioned to the place around herself.

‘Forest. F for forest.’

‘Fabulous. Now, what about G?’

He turned his face to kiss her arm.

‘G for Jenny. My Jenny.’

He said happily, looking up at her with immense adoration. Her heart melted, and she blamed the English language for that to be not true.

In moments like these, Jenny was convinced that God was a woman. Only a woman could conjure a man this perfect. A man of every woman’s dreams.

They went about it for another hour. She was very proud of how quickly he had picked up this stuff, and how sharp he actually was.

When a half-rotten mango fell on her out of nowhere, staining her skirt, that’s when they realised they had been sitting under a mango tree all this while.

‘Ooooh look at that. They look amazing.’

She clapped happily, pointing at the ripe mangoes, and he smiled at her excitement.

‘Do minute ruko. Main tod dunga.’

(Wait for 2 mins. I will pluck some for you.)

‘But, can I do it mysel…’

He cut her off.

‘Nahi. Chot lag jaegi tumhe. Main is daag ke liye pani le ke aa raha hun, phir tod dunga.’

(No. You will get hurt. I will just get some water for this stain, then I will pluck some for you.)

He turned around and walked to the lake.

Jenny couldn’t stop looking at the enticing mangoes. They were not that far up, not really. She would have to climb just one branch and she could catch hold of a few juicy ones. All her life, she had been fascinated with the idea of climbing trees but her maids & nannies never allowed it, calling it unladylike & filthy. Surely, Bheem wouldn’t have any such notions, right? He wouldn’t consider it improper. Making up her mind, she decided to go for it.

When Bheem turned around from the lake, déjà vu hit him. Jenny was nowhere in sight. She seemed to have vanished in thin air, again. He pinched himself, trying to wake up from another nightmare, but it didn’t work. He froze for a few seconds, unable to scream for her, unable to move, as his eyes scanned all the exit points from this secluded location. How could this be happening? His heart pounded in his chest, his arms & legs started to tingle with numbness, and he felt a bout of nausea take over.

In a normal situation, his trained eyes would have immediately caught the movement slightly higher up the tree, even if the leaves were blocking his line of sight. If fear & paranoia hadn’t clouded his senses, he would have also spotted her sandals under the tree.

When he realised what had happened, he was equal parts relieved and livid. Did she have any idea what she just put him through? How immature was this behaviour? He walked to the tree angrily, crushing the bottle of water in his hand to give an outlet to his rage.

She called out to him excitedly when she saw him approach.

‘Bheem, look, I got here all by mys….’

He had no patience for her chirpiness right now.

‘Jenny, neeche utro.’ (Jenny, get down.)

‘But, I am almost there. It’s so close. I just need to go a little higher and..’

‘Maine kaha na. Neeche utro. Abhi.’

(I told you. Get down. Now.).

He tried his best to hide the irritation in his voice. But she sensed the tension and was taken aback by his tone. Disheartened, she started making her way down. When she got closer, Bheem reached up, put his hands on her waist and brought her down.

‘Ye kya bachkani harkat thi? Tum 2 minute ruk nahi sakti thi? Maine kaha tha na main le aaunga.)

(What was this childish behaviour? Could you not wait for 2 mins? I told you I would pluck those for you.)

He said curtly, while looking her over for any injuries.

Jenny felt like she was back in her old life, being admonished for improper, ‘childish’ behaviour. For disobeying a direct command from those in charge of looking after her, because they always knew better somehow. Her heart nearly refused to process that it was Bheem who was talking to her like this. He was supposed to be different. She thought she had left that world behind when she followed him here.

‘I…I just wanted to try myself. I always wanted to try this once. It looked close, and simple.’

She looked down and played with her hands nervously.

And I didn’t want to bother you for something simple. I wanted to at least do this myself.

She decided to not say this bit out loud, not wanting to escalate the situation.

‘Achcha, toh fir ye kya hain?’

(Is that so? Then what is this?)

He pointed, disapprovingly, to a tiny cut on her arm. It started to get to her now - she didn’t deserve this kind of dressing down for acting on a simple, innocuous wish.

‘Bheem, choti si toh kharoch hain. Itna gussa kyu ho rahe ho? Aisa kya kar diya maine?’

(Bheem, it’s just a tiny scratch. Why are you getting this angry? What have I done so wrong?)

He felt like punching the nearby tree in frustration.

His mind tried to remind him that she didn’t know about his nightmare or the horrific scenarios that went through this head just now. But his heart was still racing and his body had still not recovered from the paralysing shock.

‘AISA KYA kar diya tumne? Sach me, Jenny? Tumhe andaaza bhi hain mujh pe abhi kya guzri?’

(WHAT DID you do wrong? Seriously, Jenny? Do you have any idea what I just went through?)

He stood toe to toe with her, grabbing her upper arms, shaking her lightly.

‘Mujhe laga ki tum….ki tumhe koi…urghhh. Kya zaroorat thi mujhe bine bataye aisi harkat karne ki? Jab maine saaf saaf mana kiya tha? Agar aise hi karogi toh tumhe yaha chod kar bahar kaam se kaise ja paunga main?’

(I thought that you..that someone took…urghhh. What was the point of doing this stupidity without telling me? Especially when I told you not to? If you act like this, how will I ever be able to go away for days for any important work?)

She was shaking at his words now - both with hurt and disbelief. This was grossly unfair, and utterly uncalled for. She had followed his every instruction to the T, like a gospel, without a single complaint. Even when she didn’t understand the logic, she never questioned him. She had made every effort to not add to his troubles. Yet, he was throwing this in her face. For climbing a GODDAMN tree.

All her young and adult life, Jenny had craved some degree of freedom. She fought for it, rebelled for it, in the limited fashion she could. Whether it was taking long walks in London or countryside without a chaperone, or travelling on her own in Delhi without a slew of bodyguards. She had a mind of her own. She had fought to protect her free, independent spirit. But she had to put all that away when she chose to follow him here, letting herself be entirely dependent on him. She chose love over her own self, her way of life. All for this man, who was more important to her than anyone else. Who she had put on a pedestal. Who was yelling at her right now that his word was final.

‘Tumhe bina bataye? Ab kya saans lene ke liye bhi tumhari ijazat leni padegi? Tumhari har baat maani hain maine, bina kuch kahe, bina kuch pooche. Itni bhi bevakoof nahi hun main ki tumhara darr na samjhoon.’

(Without telling you? Do I now have to ask for your permission for everything, for breathing as well? I have followed everything you have said, without saying anything, without questioning anything. I am not THAT stupid to not understand the reason for your fears.)

Bheem laughed a strange laugh. A cruel, bitter, distant, mocking laugh. It sent chills down her spine.

He backed her against the tree. When she put her hands on his chest to get some distance, he grabbed her wrists and held them behind her, caging her completely in his hold.

Of the zillion ways she had fantasised about him using his strength on her, this was not it. She couldn’t recognise the man in front of her. His eyes, his face, his demeanour was nothing like her Bheem.

‘Darr? Kya jaanti ho tum darr ke baare me? Kya samajhti ho tum ki bebasi kya hoti hain? Darr wo hain jo Loki ne har pal mehsoos kiya pichle saal, ki uski beti ke saath kya ho raha hoga. Darr wo hain jo yaha ki sab ladkiyaan mehsoos karti hain jab bhi koi bahar wala aadmi kareeb ho. Bebasi wo hain jo mujhe har pal us shehar me khati rahi, jab main ye bhi nahi jaanta tha ki Malli zinda bhi hain ya nahi. Bebasi wo hain jo Malli ne us pinjare me mehsoos ki, jaha use ek khilone ki tarah khareed kar daal diya gaya. Bebasi wo hain Jenny, jo har Hindustani mehsoos karta hain, apne hi desh me gulaamo ki tarah jeete hue. Ise kehte hain darr aur bebasi.’

‘Fear? What do you know about fear? What do you understand about helplessness? Fear is what Loki felt all of last year, when she had no clue what horrors her daughter was facing. Fear is what every woman feels here, when any outsider man comes nearby. Helplessness is what ate away at me in Delhi, when I didn’t even know whether Malli was alive or not. Helplessness is what Malli felt in that cage, where she was kept like a bought toy. Helplessness, Jenny, is what every Indian feels, when we have to live as servants in our own country. That is fear and helplessness.’

She was frozen in her spot while he continued to shove her privilege in her face.

‘Tumhe ab bhi yahi lagta hain ki agar kisi ne tumhe pakad bhi liya, toh zyada se zyada tumhe wapas bhej denge. Nahi, Jenny. Zaroori nahi ki wo jaante ho tum kaun ho. Tumhara parivar, tumhari daulat tumhe har jagah nahi bacha sakti. Aur yahaan toh bilkul bhi nahi. Wo log toh kuch aadmiyon ko bhi nahi bakshte - fir tumhare jaisi haseen, anokhi ladki ka wo kya hashr karenge.’

(You still think that even if someone catches you, the worst possible scenario is that they will send you back. No, Jenny. They may not know who you are. Your family connections, all your wealth may not save you everywhere. Definitely not here. Those people - they don’t even spare some men. Imagine what they would do to a stunning, exotic girl like you.)

Their faces were an inch apart. And he continued to pierce through her soul out of desperation and frustration. She was still too stunned to react.

‘Aur mera kya? Huh? Tumhe choona toh bohot door ki baat hain, agar koi tumhe us nazar se dekhega bhi toh main kaise sehen kar paunga? Zindagi me bohot kuch bardaasht kiya hain, par itni himmat nahi hain mujhme. Isliye darta hoon. Aur tumhe bhi darna chahiye. Kyunki kabhi kabhi ye darr hi hume zinda rakhta hain.’

(And what about me, huh? Let alone anyone touching you; if anyone even looks at you that way, how will I bear that? I have borne a lot of things in my life but this..I don’t have the strength for this. That’s why I am scared. And you should be scared too. Because sometimes, this fear is what keeps us alive.)

He was almost in a trance. Projecting his fears and worries onto her. The horror from the nightmare, what he experienced a few minutes ago, his restless thoughts when he had to leave her behind for days - all of it came pouring out. And she bore the brunt of it.

It took him a few moments to register her quivering lips and moist eyes. When he did, he immediately let go of her wrists, taking a few steps back, shocked at his actions. She rubbed her wrists, and he noticed the bruise he had left behind. Feeling like the scum of the earth, Bheem resisted the urge to punch himself in the face.

His heart yearned to reach out and gather her in his arms, to comfort her, but he held back, sensing that he won’t be welcomed right now. She wrapped her arms around herself, holding on tightly, which felt like a further kick to his gut.

While he still stood by the essence of what he said, he also knew it could have been communicated far less accusingly. He had fucked up there, and how.

Jenny felt the illusion of her fairy tale crash and burn around her. Reality had smacked her in the face. Hard.

She was deeply shaken, for various reasons. She had never seen this side of Bheem before - he had never even raised his voice at her previously. But she couldn’t deny the harsh truth in some of his words.

It would be preposterous for her to claim that she knew fear or helplessness like him or his people. Her helplessness had always been around lack of control over her life. She feared being married off to a selfish, controlling, mean & heartless man like her uncle. But these were all first world issues compared to the people here. She never had to fear for her life, her survival or her honour. She never lacked anything material she ever set her eyes on. The closest she had ever come to crippling helplessness was when she saw him getting tortured, or when he was sentenced to death.

He was also right in his observation of what she thought would happen if she ever gets captured. She had no idea how he surmised that, since they had never discussed it before. The man was even more perceptive than she thought.

But what got on her nerves the most was that she didn’t see her fault in any of this. She hadn’t done anything remotely close to deserve such lashing. Other than her upbringing or the colour of her skin or where she was born maybe. Was that it then? His implication wasn’t lost on her. He had created a clear, distinct chasm - with her on one side and him/his people on the other. Was that his way of saying that the two ends could never meet? All the efforts she had been making to blend in, to assimilate with the people here - was it nothing but a fool’s errand? A wild-goose chase?

Her eyes burnt with unshed tears but she willed them away. She wouldn’t crumble before him like a hapless little girl. She won’t give him that satisfaction.

But he never implied that. He wasn’t being mean on purpose. Her heart tried to intervene but she was past the point of reason.

When she spoke again, her voice was eerily calm, and it cut through him.

‘Mana ki main us tarah se nahi samajh sakti, jaise tum samajhte ho. Par itna jaanti hun ki kya zaroori hain or kya nahi. Kya main aaj tak ek baar bhi yaha se bahar nikli hun tumhare bina, ya kabhi tumse zid ki hain? Is zindagi ko maine chuna hain, aur main ise nibhane ke liye tayyar hoon.’

(I may not understand these things like you do, but I do understand what’s critical and what’s not. Have I ever stepped outside of here, even once, without you? Or cribbed about these restrictions to you? I have chosen this life and I am prepared to live with the realities that come with it.)

‘Par sab kuch jaan leva toh nahi hota na? Har cheez me pabandi ki kya zaroorat hain? Agar main is ped pe chad gayi toh isme itni badi baat kya thi? Iske liye kyu mana kiya mujhe?’

(But not everything is life-critical, right? Why do you put restrictions on other things, then? What was the big deal in me climbing this damn tree? Why did you say no to that when I asked you?)

Bheem quietly pointed to her hand, making his point. She nearly screamed in frustration and crossed the distance between them, waving her arm in front of his face.

‘Ye? Itni si kharoch, ye wajah hain tumhari? Isi liye tum mujhe kuch bhi kaam nahi karne dete? Main khana nahi bana sakti, paani tak garam nahi kar sakti kyunki ek baar mera haath jal gaya tha? In choti choti cheezon ke liye bhi mujhe Loki ko pareshaan karna padta hain. Ye kaise chalega Bheem, aur kab tak? Baki log kya sochte honge mere baare me?’

(This? This tiny scratch, this is your reason? This is why you don’t let me do anything? I am not allowed to cook or even boil water. Only because I burnt my hand one time? I have to bother Loki for these small things, also. How is this okay, Bheem? How is this sustainable? What must they be thinking of me?)

Bheem was taken aback by her outburst. It was true he had forbidden her from these chores, but she was very likely to get hurt doing these things. He was just trying to protect her. How the hell was that a crime?

He tried to muster some calmness in his voice when he responded. But they both saw through it.

‘Yaha ke log aise nahi hain. Wo apne dil se, apni khushi se tumhare liye ye sab karte hain. Kyunki tum unki….’

(My people are not like that. They do these things for you out of their own will and heart, because you are their…)

He paused, as realization struck of the word he was going to use next. It was her turn to have that distant, melancholy smile. Bheem didn’t like it one bit, and he wanted to wipe it away immediately.

‘Mehmaan? Yahi kehna chahate the na? Ki main yaha ek mehmaan hoon. Kya yahi sochte ho tum mere baare me? Kya yahi chahate ho tum? Isliye mujhe kabhi mehmaan se yaha ka ban ne nahi dete?’

(Guest? That’s what you wanted to say right? That I am a guest here. Is that what you think of me? Rather, is that what you want? Is that the reason why you don’t let me graduate from a guest to become one of you?)

Her words were driving a knife through his heart. He couldn’t fathom how she could say such cutting things so easily. Everything that he had done to make his people accept her - from talking to everyone before she arrived to figuring out some daily community activities for her, to looking out for her every need, to even talking to the village council about their relationship. Did all of that mean nothing to her?

‘Kya apne zazbaaton ka saboot dena padega mujhe ab? Kya gunaah hain mera - ki main tumse bohot pyaar karta hoon? Tumhara bohot khayal rakhta hoon? Tumhe kisi bhi dukh dard se bachana chahata hoon? Ye galti hain meri?’

(Do I have to prove my feelings to you now? What’s my crime really - that I love you too much? That I care for you too much? That I want to keep you away from any hardships? Is THAT my fault?)

Jenny felt like laughing and crying at the same time.

‘Pyaar karna gunaah nahi hota Bheem. Pyaar toh main bhi karti hun na tumse? Lekin main tumhe zaroori cheezon se rokti toh nahi na? Tum mujhe har dukh se, har buri cheez se nahi bacha sakte. Ye namunkin hain, aur ye humaare beech ek ghutan paida kar dega. Tum kabhi apni takleef, ya koi buri khabar mujhe nahi batate. Jabki Ram Sita ko sab kuch batata hain. Aisa kyun, Bheem? Kya bharosa nahi hain mujh par? Ya itna beakal samajhte ho mujhe?’

(Loving someone is not a crime, Bheem. I love you too, but I don’t keep you away from all dangerous things because I know they are important. You can’t shield me from every pain, every bad thing. It’s impossible, and it will create a suffocation between us. You never share your troubles or any bad news with me. While Ram shares everything with Sita. Why, Bheem? Don’t you trust me? Or do you think I am a stupid, naive girl?)

Bheem wanted to run. To hide. To cry. To jump from a cliff. To beg her to stop. He couldn’t believe they were hurting each other so deeply. But then, one hurts those who one loves the most, isn’t it?

Jenny was too embroiled in her emotions now. She wanted to complete her thought. Don’t say it, her heart chided her. It’s too harsh, he doesn’t deserve it, it will break him. But she couldn’t help herself from feeling this way. She needed to say it out loud.

‘Kya main sirf tumhara pyaar baatne ke liye hoon, tumhara dard nahi? Kabhi kabhi aisa lagta hain ki tum mere paas tabhi aate ho jab tumhe…..mujhse pyaar karne ka man karta hain. Kya yahi hain humara rishta? Phir ye un ladko se kaise alag hua jinme se kisi ke saath meri shadi kar di jati?’

(Am I only here to share your love, and not your pain? Sometimes, it feels like you only come to me when…..you want to touch me, to make love to me. Is that all we are then? How is that different from any other man I was supposed to end up with?)

Bheem fell to his knees. The whiplashes hadn’t hurt as much. The betrayal from Ram hadn’t hurt as much. The tiger claws hadn’t hurt as much. This…he had never felt heartbreak like this before.

His pure, infinite love had just been reduced to lust and physical pleasures. To something…cheap and crass. Their lovemaking - which was almost a divine experience for him - did she look at it as him taking advantage of her? Because he was in a position of power here, and she was entirely dependent on him? Is that why she thought he wanted to keep her reliant on himself, so he could continue to… have her like this?

He was ashen-faced. Numb. Even his tear glands refused to work. He forgot how to function anymore. How to get through the next second. Love hurts. He knew that. But this wasn’t just hurt. She had ripped his heart straight out of his chest with her words.

When she heard the loud thud, she realized what had happened. Jenny came to her senses when she saw the magnitude of her words' impact on him.

She knelt before him slowly, trying to reach for his face, but he pulled away, not wanting to accept any comfort from her. And definitely not her touch.

His spirit was broken. He wanted to say so much yet nothing at all. But one thing came out almost involuntarily, in a choked voice.

‘Agar itni takleef thi mere paas aane se, toh keh deti na? Aur kya yahi wajah hain ki tum humari kareebi ki nishani mita deti ho?’

(If my proximity bothered you so much, why didn’t you say anything? And, is that the reason why you destroy the result of our togetherness?)

It took Jenny a few moments to understand that he was talking about the herbs she was taking after sex to not conceive. Bheem waited for her to get to the realization. He had seen the herbs in Sita’s hands that day and immediately knew what it was. It had hurt him immensely that she never discussed this with him.

When she understood, her face twisted in pain - she could see why he would interpret it the wrong way. In fact, he now interpreted it exactly how she had feared, as a sign of her hesitation in this new life. The misunderstanding from the unsaid words had come back to bite her. This is what Sita had warned her against. This is why she wanted her to tell him. Jenny was just waiting for the right moment, and then this….

He took her lack of response as an affirmation. And his heart broke for a zillionth time this evening.

‘Toh tum bhi chali jaogi ek din, jaise wo chali gayi thi.’

(Oh, so you would also leave one day, like she did.)

She covered her face with her hands, unable to look at his torn state anymore. Unable to handle the situation. She wanted to scream and say a lot.

What else do I need to do to tell you that this is not an exotic adventure for me? That I am not here on a whim? That I desperately want to be a part of your life? That I have never wanted anything else as much, ever? I have given up everything I knew to be with you. To be here. I have given you my heart, my soul, my honour. What more do I do to prove to you that this isn’t a frivolous thing, which I will just give up on and leave one day?

But she didn’t have the strength to say it out loud. They both sat there, too emotionally drained to say anything anymore. Both wondered how all hell broke loose like this, when just an hour back they were enjoying the day of their dreams. The honeymoon period had gotten over, and how. Neither knew if they could come back from this.

Bheem recovered first after a few minutes.

‘Shaam ho gayi hain. Wapas chalna chahiye.’

(It’s evening. We should head back.)

She nodded wordlessly. And they came back in silence. He walked close to her, keeping an eye on how she navigated the treacherous path, but she noticed how he maintained a safe distance.

Bheem walked her to the hut and left immediately, saying that he had some urgent business to attend to. She knew he had kept the full day free but didn’t say anything.

Her thoughts haunted her for the next few hours, in the eerie silence. He didn’t come at the time of dinner, and she couldn’t swallow down a bite either.

She looked at the garments they had laid out for the evening - her dress and his shirt. The same shirt he had worn to the party that day. She was so happy when she saw it this morning. It amazed her how the day had turned on its head.

Few more hours passed. He still hadn’t come back. Jenny was lying down in a foetal position, holding on to his shirt, trying to remember his eyes, his smile, his dance from that day. That was the only thing keeping her from going insane.

He came at midnight, thinking she would have slept by now. And was disappointed to find her wide awake. He changed in silence in the adjoining chamber, and she patiently waited for him to look at her once.

He came out and announced curtly that he would be leaving tomorrow morning for a few days. Jenny knew he was due to go on a supply run, but that was the day after tomorrow. She read between the lines - he wanted distance from her to clear his head. She resigned to his decision and acknowledged it with a brief ok.

But when he spread his mat on the floor and picked up his pillow from the cot, she grabbed the other end of it. Not daring to touch his hand yet.

‘Kya…kya ye zaroori hain?)

(Is that….really necessary?)

‘Mujhe zameen pe sone ki aadat hain.’

(I am used to sleeping on the floor.)

That’s all she got from him. And he lay down, facing away from her. She bit down her sob and lay back on the cot, hugging his shirt, burying her face in it, desperately trying to find his scent there.

After a few hours, when she was convinced he was at least in a light sleep, she sneaked out and made her way to Ram’s hut. She knew very well Bheem would throw a fit at her for leaving alone at this time of the night, but she didn’t have a choice.

Ram opened the door, with Sita close behind, both looking at her worriedly. When they both started speaking, she cut them off.

‘I don’t have much time. I need to get back before he wakes up.’

She turned to Ram and grabbed his hands. Ram was shocked - Jenny had never even come close to him before, not after the lashing.

‘Ram, you are going with Bheem tomorrow, right? I need you to look after him. More than you usually would. He is not himself right now. Don’t let him out of your sight. Promise me you will bring him back safely.’

‘Yes. Yes ofcourse, Jenny. But what’s wrong? What has happened?’

Both Ram and Sita sensed her distress which made their worry intensify.

She refused to answer. She refused the milk Sita had warmed for her in the meanwhile. She started to make her way back when Ram interrupted her.

‘Jenny, I..I need to…’

‘Yes, I know. You want to escort me back because he would want you to. Fine. Let’s go.’

She didn’t have the energy to argue. Ram accompanied her to the hut, waited till she locked the door, and silently made his way back. Shocked by the proceedings of the last few minutes.

When Jenny woke up the next day, he was gone. She knew he would be gone, but he had left a flower on her pillow the last time. This time, the empty pillow was mocking her.

She spent the next few days mostly inside, unable to function properly. She knew the trip was for him to make up his mind. This could be it. She may have already spent her last few happy moments with him. Her dream may be over already.

Sita hovered around her these few days, asking her multiple times what had happened. But she didn’t have the energy to relive all of it. She didn’t have the stamina to break down. Which she would if she got talking.

Malli was the only person who could make her smile somewhat for the next two days. She stayed with her for hours, refusing to leave her side, only letting go of her when Loki practically dragged her away to give Jenny some space.

Malli, in all her childhood innocence, offered to speak to her Anna and make it all better.

‘Anna won’t refuse me.’ She reassured Jenny. ‘Did he yell at you? I will yell back at him, you just wait.’

Jenny held her in her arms as Malli sang for her. Without Jenny saying a word, even the child had understood what could have caused such a reaction in her.

Bheem returned two days later. Jenny was exhausted from pacing in the hut for hours and was quite tired when he returned. Dread hit her immediately when she heard him outside the door. What if this was it? She took a few deep breaths, trying fruitlessly to hide the mess that she had become.

When he stepped inside, he immediately went to her and led her to the centre of the hut.

At least he is not disgusted with the idea of touching you anymore, that’s some progress, offered her heart.

He looked straight into her eyes. Last few days had given him immense clarity. He had relived every word spoken between them in his head. Ram had helped too.

‘Kuch kehna hain tumse.’

(I need to say something to you.)

She nodded frantically, unable to wait anymore.

He took out a knife from his bag and placed it in her hand.

‘Tum yaha ke tareeke seekhna chahti thi na. Humari zindagi ka hissa ban na chahti thi. Ye lo. Ye maine banaya hain. Abhi zyada tez nahi hain. Jab tum seekh jaogi toh ise tez kar doonga. Kal se tumhari bhi training shuru. Theek hain?’

(You wanted to learn our ways right? To become a part of our lives? Here, take this. I made it for you. It’s not very sharp right now. When you will get a better handle of it, I will make it sharper. Your training starts tomorrow. All right?)

Jenny choked with emotion. He wasn’t pushing her away. He was bringing her closer. He was making her a part of his life, in a real sense. She couldn’t do much but nod dumbly at him. He smiled at her, which made her want to burst into tears. But she resisted the urge.

‘Doosri baat - kal se Loki aur Sita tumhe khana banana sikhayengi. Aur jo bhi tum seekhna chahati ho, unhe bata dena. Maine unhe bol diya hain.’

(Another thing. From tomorrow, Loki and Sita will start teaching you how to cook. Anything else you want to learn, just tell them. I have already spoken to them about this.)

It was really hard for her to hold back her tears now. She was quite proud of her will power.

‘Aur, ek aur baat. Wo jo tumne kaha the…..humari kareebi ke baare me..)

(Also, what you said that day….about our proximity…)

She cut him off, not liking where this was going, and grabbed his shoulders in despair.

‘Bheem, Bheem please listen to me. I couldn’t clarify to you that day but that’s not how I meant it. I LOVE YOU. I wanted you the same way. Please, please don’t take it like that. I beg you. Please.’

‘Shhhh. Main jaanta hun tumhara wo matlab nahi tha. Par ek baat main phir bhi kehna chahata hoon. Jenny, mera pyaar in….jismani chahato ka mohtaaj nahi hain. Agar hum kabhi is tarah kareeb na ho paate, toh bhi main tumse utna hi pyaar karta.’

(Shhh. I know you didn’t mean it like that. But there is one thing I still want to say to you. Jenny, my love is not conditional on these…physical desires and pleasures. Even if we couldn’t be close like that, I would still love you as much.)

She felt so small, having driven him to clarify this to her. Of course, she knew that. Of course.

Unable to handle herself anymore, she threw her arms around him. And he held her waist, holding her close.

But when her lips nuzzled into his neck, the sensation hit him like lightning. It just felt….wrong.

He pulled away from her.

‘Jenny…main..’

He didn’t need to say further. His pained voice had said everything. In all honesty, she knew the moment she had said those words that it would be tough for him to get back to the status quo. To be able to touch her again.

‘Toh ye saza hain meri? Tumse ye doori?’

(Is this my punishment then, this distance from you?)

She asked, crestfallen, unable to meet his eyes. Unable to stop her tears anymore.

‘Saza tumhari hain ya meri, nahi jaanta. Ya shayad beintehaa pyaar karne ki ye saza hoti hain.’

(I don’t know whether the punishment is yours or mine. Or maybe this is the punishment of our deep, infinite love.)

She cried some more. Unable to hold herself together anymore. That caused him immense distress and he held her upper arms.

‘Tumhare aansoon nahi dekh sakhta main, tum janti ho ye. Inke saamne main haar jaunga. Aur agar is waqt haar gaya toh khud se shayad nazrein na mila paun.’

(You know I don’t have the strength to handle your tears. I will lose in front of them. And if I lose right now, my conscience will be heavy.)

She wiped her tears immediately. And led him back to the cot. When he looked torn, she pleaded to him.

‘Please Bheem. Don’t sleep on the floor. We can put a pillow between us. But please, I can’t see you sleeping there. Please.’

He relented.

‘Theek hain.’ (Ok)

They laid down at their sides, looking at each other. Sleep evaded both of them. Neither knew what this meant for their relationship. If this is how it was going to be. After a while, she reached for his palm and placed it on her pillow, resting her cheek on it.

He gave her a half-smile. Feeling guilty & heartbroken for causing her so much agony.

‘Jenny..’

He tried to offer some comfort but she cut him off with a little kiss on his palm.

‘It’s fine. We will be fine. I know it in my heart. Whatever comes next, we will face it together. I love you, you love me; that’s all that matters. Tomorrow is a new day. We will be fine. Just sleep, my love.’

And they did fall asleep like that, gazing at each other. Hopeful yet scared of what was to come next. But drawing strength from the depth of their love.

....................................................................

Holy mother of God. This was hard. I bow down to the angst writers who revel in it. Phew!

As always, would love to know your thoughts :)

@irisesforyoureyes @rambheem-is-real @thewinchestergirl1208 @eremin0109 @eenadu-varthalu @rorapostsbl @yehsahihai @budugu @maraudersbitchesassemble @juhiiiiii @justmeand-myinsight @rambheemisgoated @rosayounan @jrntrtitties @obsessedtoafault @rambheemlove @jjwolfesworld @alikokinav @iam-siriuslysher-lokid @bromance-minus-the-b @dumdaradumdaradum @lovingperfectionwonderland @annieginny @chaanv @ssabriel @milla984 @kaagazkefool @boochhaan @mesimpleone @filesbeorganized @ladydarkey @teddybat24 @stanleykubricks @stuckyandlarrystuff @burningsheepcrown @veteran-fanperson @voidsteffy @ronika-writes-stuff @beingmes-blog @yonderghostshistories @nisreenart @chaidrivenwhore @bheemaxrama @carminavulcana @umbrulla @mizutaama @rosefulmadness @gifseafins @fangirlshrewt97

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