Hi, I’m new in this tag kinda and new to meta-writing overall, but not only is the August brain rot really strong but one particular part of his entire character has been on my mind for a whole weekend. Please take this as mostly an offering of very spilled thoughts cause I couldn't keep them to myself anymore, LMAO. Particularly the thing that's on my brain is his guilt
I would also like to make note of and thank @ lizardthelizard And her glorious set of tags here for setting off my spiral tonight and also when she first sent them because my goodness this is truly an eye-opener. Thank you, buddy 💖
Gosh though, August’s guilt and self-criticism of himself and his actions is something that really fascinates me personally, and just thinking of it being the cause of what turns him back to wood is both mind-blowing but it just makes so much sense. He may be real because of magic but who’s to say it’s just the magical conditions that are holding him back and not the high as heck expectations that he feels were set for him and he set up for himself.
When it feels like you can't mess up sometimes it can feel like you're stuck in place Or that your screw ups means you can't change, that you're not good, that maybe you don't deserve to be considered good and that your various flaws are all that others would see you FOR!!
Maybe it's different to anxiety but idk it’s what caught my attention about him even more than what his character already offered up in s1!
He was given this like
Idea that he needs to be "Brave" and "Truthful" and "Selfless" all the time or else he cannot be human
Does it work like that? no, there's no human on EARTH that's all three of those things all the time, we've all had moments of weakness and gave in
But what does he know? Most of his life he spent on his own and as a puppet, he was expected to understand the ways of being a human and GOODNESS knows how short a time he was with his dad before he was THRUST into a world and forced once again to stand on his own two feet and expected to just, you know, know how to act once again
He's followed by expectations that he finds himself struggling to meet because he doesn't know what the limit is or how to meet them, and sometimes if not all of the times the temptations are just better and easier
And it's expected!!!
He stepped into TLWM as a child with no idea of what he’s getting into with no prior knowledge, no adult, no nothing.
But omg, he drags himself down so much about it because he can’t meet those expectations the way he would want to and because of that because literally who did he have to tell him that it's all okay? That you can make mistakes and move on from them? That you can make up for your mistakes and forgive yourself for them?
Did he have anyone at all? Cause The show sure didn't show him having anyone
We see one woman in Thailand but even after he discovers he's turning into wood she's no longer around, so like she's probably about as fleeting of a relationship as anything else
Imagine going 28 years at first ignoring all your problems and then the horror and thoughts that you’re not good enough catch up to you one morning and the more you see yourself a failure, the more you sink into that spiral the harder it feels to breathe.
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It's been 10 years since 1x07- The Hub first broadcast (Nov 12 2013)
So, in honour of an episode that's been playing on repeat in my head for a decade...
Here's my theory on what's actually going on with Victoria Hand, and why she's actually a paranoid-but-clever strategist, not as petty and incompetent as she comes across as.
Ah, series 1. Those were the days. The HYDRA reveal hadn't happened yet. Everyone was happy! They trusted each other, mostly! Sure, Skye's allegiances were questionable, but they got over that eventually. May might've had that whole "secret line to Fury" thing, but they sorted that too. Coulson might've had his head messed with, but it's not like that caused serious problems with his judgement until series 2.
... that we know of.
Here's a couple facts:
1) The team are running worldwide missions. Despite this, in one season, they end up passing through The Hub on three separate occasions (The Hub, The Magical Place (I think), and Turn, Turn, Turn/the finale arc.) It's clearly a bit of a, well, hub, for SHIELD activity, and sees a lot of people coming in and out.
2) It's unclear exactly how long Hand has been in charge of the Hub, but we know from s7 that she's been in SHIELD a while. There's nothing in series 1 to suggest that her command of The Hub is a recent promotion. Coulson, meanwhile, was recruited by Fury just out of high school. He's been in the field for decades by this point.
and-
3) When Coulson first meets Victoria Hand in 1x07, he claims to know her only by reputation.
Yeah, no.
I think it's highly unlikely that he's never crossed paths with Victoria Hand before. They might not know each other well- I, personally, think it's best if they do, but YMMV- but I cannot envision a scenario where the two haven't run operations together before.
My assumption, then: they did know each other. Coulson's had his head messed with, though, and he's forgotten all about it.
From Hand's perspective: that dude she really doesn't like has just shown up. He was supposed to be dead, but whatever, they work for SHIELD, shit happens sometimes.
That said, he's got the strangest team she's ever seen- Melinda May back in the field, two sci-tech kids who didn't even pass their field exams, John Garrett's antisocial protege, and an enemy agent. (We, the audience, know that Skye is clear, but Hand has no reason to think anything but the worst of her.)
He's also pretending that this is the first time they've ever met, for some reason.
... Maybe it's a weird prank.
She decides not to engage with it, because she has a lot of very important work to do and she doesn't really want to deal with any of That Bullshit. Except, Coulson's acting really differently to how he did before- I don't think it's very controversial to say that pre-Avengers Coulson and AoS!Coulson are two very different people. Melinda May- who she knows is one of his closest friends- is... not calling it out, for some reason. Also, he does have a history of recruiting wildcard agents, but usually he follows protocol once they're in. This random kid he found in a van is just wandering around poking her head into things, and Coulson isn't stopping her even though that is against the system. Hand might not like Coulson, but she knows that he does his paperwork and follows the rules. He'll bend them completely out of shape, but he won't break them outright without very good reason. Or at least, he used to do that.
The whole situation is alarming on so many levels. So... she decides to test him- the stupidest, most obvious test that Phil Coulson- who has always been pedantic about the safety of his people- will catch instantly.
She'll "forget" to file the extraction plan.
He'll spot it, of course. He'll spot it instantly, and she'll roll her eyes and file the paperwork she's already filled out. She'll say that this is why they have procedures and it's important to follow them, not just turn up in someone's airspace with a team that makes no sense and ignore all rules and protocol.
Except, Phil Coulson does not notice. It takes his team members breaking protocol in front of of all of them for him to spot a problem in the mission paperwork she physically placed into his hands.
And that? That is not Phil Coulson. She might not like Phil Coulson, but she does know him, and he always looks out for his agents. That's not Coulson, and May is playing along with the imposter for some reason, even when she knows him even better than Hand does.
In the end, she just lets it all play out, because this is so far off what she expected she honestly wants to know how far it reaches.
If she tries to chase up Coulson's file afterwards, she'll hit the (canonically very weird) firewalls and restrictions around TAHITI protocol. If she tries to report the oddities to Fury or Hill, they'll brush her off- again, TAHITI protocol. There's something wrong with that dude and no one in her agency is taking her seriously.
So. Once the HYDRA reveal happens, and she starts looking for moles? Well, there's one really obvious place where standard SHIELD protocol is failing. The issue stretches to some pretty high levels, too- this isn't just baby-agent incompetence. That probably means Coulson's HYDRA. May must be too, if she's covering for him. Skye is, still, basically an enemy agent, Hand won't lose sleep over her. I have... thoughts... about the fact that Hand outright tries to shoot John Garrett out of the sky despite, or because of, their working history, but she's definitely suspicious of him, too. Ward is his agent and likely to follow his lead- when the Twist happens, Ward plays up how betrayed he is, and Hand buys it without question, which makes me think she did know they were pretty close. Simmons is already in the Hub, she can clear her separately.
Really, the only actual loss if she was to take that plane down would be Fitz.
Hand brings down the plane because she has legitimate reason to believe Coulson is an enemy agent, and so is the rest of his team. When she sends her people to storm the BUS, she wants Coulson alive, because he's probably the highest-ranking HYDRA member she can actually get her hands on. She wants some answers, damnit. The rest are acceptable losses if it comes to that.
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You walk into the security room, as usual, and you notice Springtrap sitting in the corner with the sweater you had given him the other day, it fit his figure perfectly.
You also noticed he had the notebook you had given him with the sweater, you wanted to look inside but also didn't want to look at his "personal property", but even though you tried to fight the urge you still ended up with his book in your hand. As you look at each page you notice one page that interested you, you notice it was a drawing of you! Your face heats up, the drawing was really good, and at the bottom was your name with a heart next to it. Your face was really hot, and you tried to calm down but failed.
You set the book back down next to him, hopefully, he won't find out you looked in his book, you sit in the tattered chair and pull up the cams, you really don't understand why you need to look at the cameras if anyone broke in Springtrap would most likely murder them before they could even touch a thing. As you flip through the cameras you hear a series of clicking sounds coming from behind you, it was most likely Springtrap waking up, and of course, you feel a cold hand tap your shoulder.
You turn your head to look behind you, Springtrap was tapping his thinger against his thigh, you laugh and stand up, and he gets on his knees and puts his head against your chest while pulling you into his cold embrace.
( Springtrap loves to listen to your heartbeat, he missed the feeling of human affection so he will often hug, kiss, or nuzzle you for comfort he will also hold you like a baby, he's just an 8-foot metal bean <3)
BANGS. MY FUCKING. HEAD. ON . THE . TABLE/
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HIIII ROS HI HI HI still truckin througj the last half hour of my shift i was absolutely DELIGHTED 2 SEE UR WILLIAM AND DAKOTA ART THEYRE SO FUCKING CUUUUTE. boys forever i love them
ABYWAY ANYWAY. now that youre in party hell i wanted 2 pick ur brain a little i wanna know ur thoughts . do u have anyyyy theories or thoughts 👀 about vyncents powers or williams dorito fever dream or just in general hehe . putting u in a jar under a magnifying glass and feeding u a drop of plankton water like youre a baby seahorse (<< guy whos seahorses had babies today. proud father momence)
oh my god. gets fucking put in a jar under a magnifying glass blhhhhrghghghghbhgh >_< also OMG........... CONGRATS ON THE SEAHORSE BABIES!!!! what do seahorse babies look like. are they like fully formed or some larval shit like newborn puppies???
anyway YEAH i DO have thoughts!!!! SO many thoughts, even!!
okkk ok ok. about vyncents powers....... first i thought he was some alien superman type situation. because of the whole deal. nowwwww i really do think he reverse isekai'd from like a classic high fantasy jrpg ass world.. i think he like touched the forbidden artifact or got hit by the fantasy truck and got shoved into this world & it sucks. i DONT know if hes human or like some type of creature. about his powers & his fucking multiclass thing???? i have NO CLUE DUDE!!!!! ngl its giving like system egg. ohhh sorry yeah sometimes i just become a whole different person who dresses different and acts different its not a big thing dw about it. or like..... i was considering some type of warlock deal possession situation also but apparently he JUST BECAME the party city warlock?? so i have NO clue.
WILLIAM DORITO FEVER DREAM.. (<- none of these words r in the bible) OK. my first thought IS my head shoots up like a cat hearing the treat bag rustle or like a 2016 emo at the g note at hearing the unravel op......... man i wonder why that specific song for this one specific questionably alive kid with fucked up death powers. this couldnt mean anything!! im sure there arent any impies (fucked up way of saying implications) (GOD the irreparable harm that quencies meme did 2 my vocabulary) anyway my first question about this motherfucker is IS HE DEAD OR NOT. IS HE ALIVE. IS HE IN SOME FUCKED UP LIMINAL STATE BETWEEN THE TWO. schrodingers wiwi. the forest part of the dream sequence stuck out 2 me re: the will-o'-the-wisp-- idk if it's like a textual folkloric thing or my personal associations or what, i dont wanna look it up rn, but i've always associated them with forests + the of course leading astray thing. slightly more meta but also like the uhhhh idiomatic meaning of the phrase as one of the stupid wishful goals u gotta follow even though itll fuck you up? that might b a bit of a reach though since he really is very like textually just. ghost shit. the "man on a paper throne" image DID make me sit up & take note as did the inability 2 turn tangible again but i dont know enough yet 2 make any conjectures!!!! ok ok i thinkkk thats it for noww <3333
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babie mafuyu's cg makes the mistake of letting him feed himself. it goes well for approximately 5 seconds, and then he dumps a spoonful of food on the floor to see what would happen (the answer was, shockingly, a mess)
he can't be trusted with allegedly "non-messy" foods either, like dry cereal and stuff. he can and will throw them. or crush them into dust. if he's in an older headspace (still very much a baby, but with more fine motor skills) he's able to get spill-proof snack containers open, and will then proceed to pour the whole thing out
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