#ron: well yes but no one ever buys me anything so 🤷🏼‍♀️

[oflights]

i know in retellings draco always befriends hermione because he's a nerd or whatever but this morning i was thinking of a retelling where draco befriends ron because he literally just bribes him. like he sees that harry won't bother with him and lbr no one wanted to be friends with first year hermione but ron seems like he'd be easily bought and draco's dad told him those are the easiest people to get on your side. and also wouldn't it be fun to steal away harry potter's anointed best friend?

so he's like "i'm willing to forget you laughed at my name on the train" and literally just buys ron things until he stops being indignant. he buys him a new wardrobe. endless sweets and toys. he writes to his mother like "hello i'm working on something here can u help" and narcissa is immediately on board.

and ron totally is easily bought. he really is. he pretends to still hate draco but also his mother taught him some manners so it's only polite to accept the little git's gifts. his siblings are sick with jealousy, it's great.

and slowly ron's like "maybe he's not so bad" and progresses to "yes he's weird but i've gotten him to stop with the slurs so" to actual friendship that harry and hermione eventually come around to, too.

#harry potter #ron weasley #draco malfoy #drarry #because teenage ron dealing with his best friends dating?? impeccable #also it's crucial that this happens in first year before ron is old enough to prioritize pride over getting cool stuff lol #harry (who's experienced spoiled dudley his whole life): but can't you see he's just trying to buy your friendship!! #ron: well yes but no one ever buys me anything so 🤷🏼‍♀️ #this is a horrible friendship origin btw i get that the hermione nerd one is nicer but #it's also hilarious #just thinking thoughts on a star splitter friday ✨ #headcanons