#results of but it very literally is the only option. any solution that denys the humanity of any of the parties involved will fail and will | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

busterofbeing · 5 years

Text

Sylph of Hope Analysis

Uh oh. It’s been a while. Here’s a classpect that WASN’T requested but has been sitting in Google Docs for over a month!

Overview

Sylphs create and heal their aspect, or they create and heal through their aspect, for the benefit of others. Although Sylphs are great at making their aspect, they tend to over-create sometimes. They are very passive and are usually good-natured, but they can wreak havoc when they decide to be active. The challenge of a Sylph is to know when to interfere, and when to hold back their aspect. Sylphs are natural healers, teachers, and helpers.

Hope is the aspect of positivity, imagination, belief, possibility, and righteousness. The challenge of the Hope-bound is to know that positivity isn’t always the best solution or treatment and to be aware of the fact that they might be wrong. The Hope-bound tend to be encouragers, dreamers, and paladins.

A Sylph of Hope creates and heals Hope, or creates and heals through Hope, for others.

Active Equivalent: Maid of Hope

Classpect Inverse: Prince of Rage

Analysis

A Sylph of Hope is, in my opinion, one of the better Sylph classpects, and is a very helpful and powerful Hope player. Creating Hope in others is very constructive and useful, especially if you’re in a Sburb session where Hope is often hard to find. A Sylph of Hope would instill optimism, imagination, and belief into others. Again, this is VERY helpful in a Sburb session. Optimism to get you through your problems and hurdles, imagination to alchemize cool new items and a belief that what you’re doing is right, and that it will turn out great. In day-to-day life, a Sylph of Hope would be a real team player. If other people are feeling depressed, overwhelmed, or hopeless, the Sylph of Hope would be the one to give them a Hope or tell them the possibilities of what they can do to overcome or deal with whatever obstacle they may be facing. Now, they might not be great at offering concrete solutions or permanently solving their issues, but they would be great at helping people through less dire problems, and the sheer abundance of Hope they would Create would be much more effective at easing problems and Rage than many other Hope players. Not only would they simply give Hope, but they might also attempt to make Hopes into reality. If there’s a goal someone else has in mind, the Sylph of Hope would do their darndest to make that Hope real. Maybe someone has an idea in mind for a cool costume or project, or perhaps someone has always wanted to try a new ice cream flavor. Or maybe, there’s a giant pit that poses a danger to the community and needs to be filled. As long as the Sylph of Hope deems the idea righteous, they’d Make the Hope happen. It might take a lot of energy or meddling, but the Sylph of Hope would do it.

I imagine that a Sylph of Hope would be challenged by the fact that they are predisposed toward providing Hope for others. In creating possibilities for others, they deny themselves their own Hopes, which could lead to them becoming Hopeless, and is very bad!! Watch out for statements like: “It’s the last piece of pizza...you can have it!” “Oh, I was planning to do this...but if you want to do that it’s okay...” “Really, I have no problems with you dating them! Go ahead!”

Because Sylphs tend to over-create their aspect, a Sylph of Hope could Make so much Hope that it could prove overwhelming to some, or it would just further infuriate those with problems too big or complex for simple Hope. And while Hope players are great at helping others see the end goal and persevere, Hope is not a very physical aspect, and thus Hope players are not good at offering concrete solutions or advice. Sylphs are healers and natural helpers, however. So they might be better than other Hope players at actually helping people through their problems. Again, Hope is not a physical or concrete aspect, so the advice and guidance of a Sylph of Hope wouldn’t be factual or certain; it would be open-ended and whimsical. A Sylph of Hope wouldn’t tell you exactly what you need to do to handle a situation; they’d give you multiple vague options, or a loosely coherent solution assuming the best.

Because they Create Hope, a Sylph of Hope would be great at creating hopes and possibilities. A Hope that the team will win, a possibility of how someone can escape a one-sided relationship, a Hope that crushes all negative opposition.

Inversion

Inversion is when a player changes to act like their opposite classpect, due to ignorance of their own title, or some significant event. The Inverse of the Sylph of Hope is the Prince of Rage, one who destroys Rage or destroys through Rage for themselves. I imagine this inversion would occur when someone doesn’t believe or trust the Sylph of Hope or even causes the Sylph of Hope to feel doubt themselves. The Sylph of Hope would desperately try to convince the other person that they or right, or would try to erase their own doubt. This would cause the Sylph of Hope to inverse into the Prince of Rage. They’d be filled with anger at the other person’s disbelief and would destroy any opposition. Princes also destroy They would also attempt to get rid of any doubts they might have, firm in their beliefs. The Prince of Rage is a scary classpect, so a Sylph of Hope snapping would be extremely dangerous. Being righteous and/or being firm in their own beliefs can easily become a fault of the Hope-bound, and this righteous conviction could easily translate into a chaotic conviction that would bowl over opposition (literally, if things get too intense).

Prospit Vs. Derse

This is a section dedicated to understanding the differences between a Prospitian Sylph of Hope and Dersite Sylph of Hope. Lunar Sway plays a huge part in determining a person's’ character and behavior, which can sometimes make the person more difficult to properly classpect or give off the impression of other aspects. My hope is that this section will help you better understand the differences between these two types of people, and how to recognize the two.

Prospit: A Prospitian Sylph of Hope is basically one of the most, if not THE most optimistic person you’ll find. The optimistic nature and generally good-natured attributes of the Prospit sway combined with the optimism and belief of the Hope aspect, WITH the passive and excessive nature of the Sylph, make for a battering ram of optimism. The Prospitian Sylph of Hope wouldn’t be a very cautious or strategic person. Their belief and optimism^2 with the emotional ‘in-the-moment” decision making accredited to dreamers of Prospit make them a person who doesn’t think too much about things, but has an undying Hope that things will turn out well. When offering advice, they wouldn’t offer one solution; they’d offer many. Imagine a sort of bush, with numerous branches and potential fruits, even though those branches are short and the fruit’s quality questionable. They’d believe there’s always good to be found, and would always Make optimism. They’d be one to fling themselves into any project or cause offered to them that sounds good or righteous and has a result. The Prospitian Sylph of Hope WILL save those penguins, they WILL donate money to that charity, and they WILL build a park on top of that pit!

Derse: A Dersite Sylph of Hope makes for a pretty interesting character. Being a Derse dreamer, they would be much more strategic and thoughtful than their Prospitian counterparts. To this end, their advice would be more thought through and potentially cynical, which could make it much more clear and helpful in the long run. They wouldn’t really sugarcoat things, but they would make sure that their advice is tangible. Instead of spamming the Create Hope button for overwhelming optimism, they’d create a clear, singular Hope to guide others. Instead of believing the best all the time, they would recognize that some things are complicated and twisted. This would mean that they might also be more selective of things they choose to Make real. They would very effectively Make that one Hope real, however, they might come off as uncaring or unbelieving the rest of the time.

Powers

Before god-tiering, a Sylph of Hope would possess an imagination full of the Hopes of others. Guardians other players lost, fantastical weapons they desire, and possibly other versions of players; they might be a version that their real self Hopes they could be, or they could be what another player Hopes they could be. Being surrounded by the Hopes of the other players would help the Sylph of Hope better and more clearly encourage others. At times of great Hope or belief, they might be able to heal wounds. The potency of their healing would correlate with their own levels of Hope and Belief. At a pre-god-tier level, however, it’s unlikely they would be able to do anything more than healing a major wound.

Post-god-tiering, a Sylph of Hope would have a powerful array of unique abilities. The most significant would be that they can actually Create the Hopes of others. If another player Hopes they’ll someday be with their Guardian again, the Sylph of Hope (with enough belief) would be able to Create an imaginary version of the Guardian to be with or fight alongside the group. This concept opens a lot of doors and could be an extremely powerful ability. The Sylph of Hope could effectively Create whatever others Hope for. Do they need an army to help them fight the Black King? The Sylph of Hope would be able to Create the army that they Hope for. Or how about a cool fort? One Hopeful fort, coming up! The power of Hope is built almost solely Belief, so the Sylph of Hope might be rendered ineffective if their belief and Hope is weak. Things are only as real as the Hope-player believes they are, after all. I think it could be possible these Hope constructs might be even more real and physical because the Sylph Creates. I can imagine if the Sylph of Hope was reaching some peak Hopeness or whatever, they could actually Create something real, and not just the “real as long as I believe” real, like, ACTUALLY real. An actual human being, perhaps? This ability just has way too many exciting and powerful ideas, I’m sure the Sylph of Hope would be a VERY interesting character to explore.

Now, healing. At this level, the Sylph of Hope would have the basic healing powers that other god-tier Sylphs would have. However, as stated before, the exact power of their healing would depend upon their own Hope. Remember, the Sylph of Hope heals through Hope. So if their Hope is weak, they won’t be a very effective healer. If they have incredible Hope (Sylphs tend to create an over-abundance of their aspect, remember), they could effortlessly heal their teammates, and with an insane amount of Hope, they could even revive a dead player. Sylphs can also heal things related to their aspect. Aranea is a Sylph of Light, an aspect about relevance and information, strongly related to vision and seeing. Hope is an aspect of belief, possibility, and positive emotions. So, a god-tier Sylph of Hope would be able to cure depression, filling up the lack of positivity and belief in the future. Temporarily or permanently? I’d say permanently, but a weaker Hope and/or stronger depression might make the “cure” less effective.

Session Strategy

The Sylph of Hope would be a VERY good player. With healing, positivity, and some pretty sick powers, having a Sylph of Hope in your session would be incredibly beneficial. Hope is an aspect of positivity and belief, things that can run low in your typical session of Sburb. All of the canon Hope players we’ve seen have been very bad at...well, bad at Hope. I feel that Hope players, in general, are responsible for keeping Hope up; making sure nobody is going crazy or is losing Hope for the session and the future. So having a player who excels at healing low Hope and creating new Hope would be extremely beneficial to the emotional health and stability of the team. To reap the full rewards of this great classpect, go god-tier. If I had to rank all the classpects based on how soon they should god-tier, the Sylph of Hope would definitely be up there in the top 20. Creating Hopes is a POWERFUL ability! I like the Sylph of Hope because their powers make them one of the best offensive Sylphs. Couple that with their great healing powers both physical and emotional, I’d confidently say this would be the best Sylph to have in your session. As the rule goes for everyone, you don’t need to god-tier, but having a god-tier for the final battle against the Black King would be incredible! If they god-tier earlier though, they could maybe use their Creating Hope powers to create an army or something to help other players on their planet quests. The Sylph of Hope would be responsible for healing the broken Hopes of the players, first and foremost. However, I’d imagine they’d also be great alchemists as they CREATE HOPE. You might want to put the Sylph of Hope in charge of ALL alchemy, considering their passive nature. They’d use their great imagination to create epic items and weapons, certainly better than some of the other players could come up with. So I really see the Sylph of Hope playing a mostly supportive role in their session; keeping everyone chipper and Hopeful, and alchemizing items and weapons. Keep in mind they wouldn’t be a great planner or leader. Hope is not about having a plan. As stated before in this analysis, a Sylph of Hope wouldn’t have concrete plans or answers, they’d mainly provide generic encouragement. The only thing to watch out for would be the Sylph of Hope losing Hope themselves. Because they create and heal through Hope, losing it would essentially handicap them. This is especially important for the final battle against the Black King. If the Sylph of Hope is Hopeless going into the final battle, their powers would be kaput and their healing would be nonexistent or minimal at best. As stated earlier, make sure that the Sylph of Hope doesn’t deny themselves their own Hopes and dreams just because someone else might want them.

TL;DR: The Sylph of Hope is a supportive optimist that gives others Hope and turns dreams into reality with their imagination and excessive nature. They have the power to make things real and heal through their belief. They are one of the best Sylphs, hands down.

Parting Words and Thanks

Man, I really should make these faster. With the Summer here though, I’ll have much more time to play video games and watch Netflix write about Classpects! If it’s any worthy excuse, I want these analyses to be the most in-depth and extensive analyses done for any given Classpect. Thanks to optimisticDuelist for the sweet Class and Aspect cards! Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go watch Parks & Rec.

#Homestuck #sylph #hope #sylph of hope #classpect #classpecting #classpects #Leslie Knope

141 notes · View notes

perfectly-balanced · 5 years

Note

Thanos, I understand that you're trying to accomplish something good from your perspective, but I think you're overlooking the resilience of human nature. Even if the Earth gets destroyed humanity would be able to find a way to escape, to go to another planet or solar system perhaps. That's the beauty of human nature, we adapt under any condition and overcome to survive.

Since you have come to me with a rational, at least in comparison to others, approach, I am inclined to humor your argument.

Even though of course the very thought that you believe you were able to come up with an angle that I, an immortal all-powerful being, was not able to is still naive at best and insulting at worst.

Now, I have many counters to your points, as just about everything you said is deeply flawed under closer inspection. First of all, the human race isn’t the only species I did what I did for, far from it. So even assuming your arguments were correct, which they aren’t, the same couldn’t be said for all the other species.

As always, you humans remain self-centered and assume everything revolves around you, which is part of the problem that got you into this mess in the first place. To me, your kind is merely one infinitesimal grain of sand in the beach of the universe.

A particularly stubborn and irritating piece of sand, rougher than many of the others, mind you, and one insistent on getting into places it shouldn’t be, but still a single grain nonetheless.

Now, aside from that, as I said before I am immortal, which means I have been alive for a very long time. Long enough to have changed drastically since I was young.

I wasn’t always so intent on my current mission. Before I reached the conclusion that I would have to erase half of all life, I considered other options first. As in, all of them.

I was raised as a scientist, and so my first approach was naturally to eliminate all other possible solutions, the ‘nicer’ ones, first before resorting to drastic measures.

After my planet was destroyed, I traveled to many different worlds that were similarly on the brink of collapse, and ran experiments to test out my different options. Thousands of them. Even accounting for all of the variables, they all inevitably failed and the result remained the same: total self-destruction.

Believe me, I never wanted to harm anyone, and I never would have chose to do so without good reason. Had you known me as I was as a naive and helpful young man, you would believe me.

Now, from the experience of what I have observed and lived through, as well as just basic common sense, here is the truth. For convenience’s sake, let us merely talk about humans and Earth, since that is all you understandably know of.

The first flaw in your argument is that you are assuming that your planet will even see your own doom coming before it is too late. But all it takes is one event, one second to change everything.

For example, my own planet, Titan, appeared completely fine to the naked eye. It was only from studying and looking into the patterns and signs that I was able to predict what happened. But to anyone who simply lived there, everything seemed relatively fine.

Sure, there were massive population issues, as well as a shortage of food and other resources, but the same can be said for your planet, and you certainly wouldn’t consider that an apocalypse by any means.

Because you have grown up in a time when this is very normal, and likely haven’t had to deal with it yourself, slowly escalating warnings and catastrophes are expected for your society.

So even though your climate is changing and more damage is being done environmentally, you don’t take the increasing rate of hurricanes, floods, disease, starvation, fires and earthquakes to mean the world is ending. No, it is normal to you, what you have always known.

It is easier to get used to something when it is increased in gradual increments, and naturally humans as a whole are complacent in their ways of life until they are forced not to be, so as long as these inconvenient natural disasters are manageable, you will find a way to persevere through it. The sad fact is that most of you wouldn’t even notice your own total doom until it has already arrived.

After all, it is such an ugly concept that denial is truly the only option for most people until they are slapped in the face with the cold hard reality. But wouldn’t you rather take control of your own destiny for the better than to be at its mercy on its terms?

Regardless, as I was saying, on Titan things looked relatively fine on the surface, nothing to visually indicate the end of everything was near, which is why people were so quick to deny me. But I knew the truth, and just as I predicted, the first catastrophe to strike Titan came from the depths below.

Our planet’s surface was littered with cryovolcanoes, and our main center of population, the Eternal City, was surrounded by them. Everything seemed fine, up until the very moment when they erupted.

The initial wave of eruptions wiped out two-thirds of our population in one fell swoop. No one in their path even had time to escape. Most, I suspect, didn’t even see it coming. The spew of liquid nitrogen exploded miles above into the sky and flooded down, freezing the people solid until their corpses were reduced to broken little bits.

Unluckily for me but luckily for the universe, I was not on Titan during this time, as I had been banished into space by my own father, by my own government, for trying to help. I was spared the fate that so many suffered below me.

Of course, the volcanoes were merely the catalyst in a long series of resulting disasters that within days wiped out everyone who had survived that initial disaster. And that part I was there for but couldn’t ultimately do anything to help but put people who lay half-dead on the streets out of their misery.

The point is, chances are you won’t see destruction coming unless you know where to look and have the motivation, intelligence, opportunity and resources to look into it like I did.

But alright, let’s say for the sake of the argument that you are correct and enough people will see it coming. The first problem with that is that not everyone on Earth is of the same credibility and privilege.

Because you place your value socially on wealth and other material criteria, the smartest people are often not the ones in power. If someone smart enough to predict this sort of thing was able to in time, who’s to say anyone would even believe them?

Damn, you already have actual respected scientists on your planet coming forth daily with strong warnings, and no one of consequence listens or cares. Even citizens who do believe them forget about it quickly and go back to their daily lives and distractions. It’s all background noise until it affects them personally.

So somehow, the people who figured it out on Earth would need to convince the governments, the powers that be, of their validity, just like I had to try to do on Titan and many more planets.

And in my case, I was actually the son of the ruler of Titan, so I had the connections to back me up. On Titan our higher classes consisted of the most intelligent individuals rather than the wealthiest, and you would think rational men would be easier to convince of the truth than those who could profit from denying it, but alas.

All in all, even though I was not popular among my people, I still had more in my favor than a human would as your leaders are often corrupt and foolish and uneducated on scientific matters. I had all those advantages going for me, and yet I still wasn’t able to convince my government. That bodes ridiculously ill for the average human.

But again, let’s give you the benefit of the doubt and assume the best case scenario despite all reasoning. The next problem that comes up is that even if both the masses and the government do listen, the result is that only people with power and influence will be able to save themselves.

Rest assured that were the apocalypse on your door, the only people who would be able to buy a ticket off your planet would be the people who could literally buy a ticket off your planet. And trust me, it wouldn’t be cheap.

Why should it be the rich and powerful who get to live on to continue humanity’s legacy, when they are quite plainly the worst among you, the ones who got you into this mess in the first place? Would they not just repeat the same mistakes on their new planet?

The human race would quickly die out in these hostile foreign conditions not meant to host them, seeing as these are not the best of you to begin with. Your chance of survival as a race would die out with these people who do not carry the necessary traits for survival and are not qualified to represent you or anything greater than their own self-interest.

Keep in mind as well that these people are mostly older since the elderly tend to be wealthier, so they would not be able to reproduce very quickly if at all and would not have a lot of time to actually implement their changes to a new planet that they would need to terraform it to be suitable for human life. All signs point to them being one of if not the last generation regardless of leaving Earth.

Which brings me to my next point. Would those who escaped not just end up destroying other planets, either quickly or in the future? How is that fair to other planets, to other species even who may get invaded and corrupted by those unpleasant humans who were rich enough to escape?

Why continue the cycle to its bitter end until everything is gone and ruined, when my plan halts that downward spiral completely? Sure, you get to live, but at what cost?

As I said, I don’t only care about whether humanity lives on, but life as a whole. If humanity surviving means other life being negatively affected, then the choice is very clear to me which takes priority.

You see, you self-righteous humans who fight me claim to desire only to preserve the life I will take, but the truth is you think only of preserving your own lives and, selfishly, the people you care about, not life itself.

Which yes, saving loved ones first is still selfish because you only wish to save them because you personally would be affected by their absence. You save your children from me, yet you give no thought to the futures you leave those same children you leave behind.

The truth is that you only have selfish reasons for saving yourselves. You, the generations who have ruined the Earth to begin with and left this mess for others to clean up.

But then you get mad when I, a person with the desire and ability to fix things, come around and do exactly that cleaning for you. You are simply unhappy because you have to live to see it instead of shifting it off to your descendants once its not your problem anymore.

They deserve a voice advocating for their best interests too, you know, arguably more than you do, and I will always seek to stand up for the little guy, the ones those in power overlook and bully.

Just like the rich people who would leave this planet behind and go off to a new world, you, the very generations who have caused this mess, would simply ‘leave’ to a peaceful death content in being able to preserve your own moral self esteem and leave everyone else behind to suffer.

These people will die either way. At least with my plan, they disappear painlessly, with a snap of my fingers, a merciful end compared to the prolonged suffering and fear and confusion you would leave them with. I do not wish to cause them pain, they simply cease to exist in order to be spared a torturous life.

As I said before, I am old, and so this truth is all very apparent to me. I see the long game because of my age and experience, so quite frankly I care more about maintaining a future overall than I do about your individual happiness right now, because the generations of the past and present have done nothing to deserve what you would leave those of the future with.

The future is innocent and savable, seeds of potential and hope, whereas you are sinful and damned and your plight self-inflicted through selfishness and ignorance and laziness.

I know because I have seen it time and time again. I have not only thought this out, but lived it, for millennia upon millennia. Can you say the same? Do you have any right to call me crazy or deluded when you’ve never been through what I have?

I know people have taken to calling me 'mad’, but I am not insane, as many would have you believe. Especially because you simply cannot use human terms like 'crazy’ to compare to me because I am not human, and cannot be compared. There is no human word for my state of consciousness, it is beyond anything you could ever even comprehend.

And so the word 'insane’ as it relates to me is not only false but irrelevant because humans have no idea what it is like to live for thousands of years or the kind of change in perspective that brings when you can see the bigger picture outside of your own existence.

It brings wisdom, and eventually you reach a point where you achieve the highest form of yourself possible. I have already reached that potential through all of my experience.

I am a visionary, and historically, visionaries have not been treated the best. They all get called insane in their time, simply for seeing the larger story and daring to defy the norm.

So for you, a human who has never had to think about anything outside themselves, to consider life as a whole beyond the eighty or so years of your own life, my ideas seem mad. Because they affect your whole life, and to you, based on your perspective, eighty years is a long time, so obviously it seems much more harsh than it is objectively.

But the truth is, your individual eighty years don’t matter in the grand scheme of things once you are gone, and whether you’d like to believe it or not, the world doesn’t stop once you and everyone currently around you is dead. Your legacy continues only through the new generations who you have set up to take your place.

To you it might not matter what happens in the future because you won’t be around to see it, but for me, I see it all, generation after generation, and so each one is all the same to me.

I am not blessed with the same ignorance as you, I have been cursed with responsibility and opportunity that cannot be overlooked. Your flawed if noble intentions to preserve your lives matter to you, but not everyone is human and not everyone sees things that way.

There is an order to the universe, one that mortal beings have no business meddling in because they cannot fathom the big picture, how everything connects.

And so like your gods from your religions on Earth, you simply must trust in your higher powers and believe that they have a grand design in mind that makes it all worth while, such as the Christian god did when he flooded Earth, an objectively cruel and vengeful act, for the greater good.

Which, curiously, people still defend him for and worship him regardless yet hate me for doing the same thing. You wouldn’t question whether you know better than a god, who can see all ends and beginnings, so why do you question me, for whom the same can be said?

The answer, I can tell, is simply because you do not like me on a personal level, and because it is easier to defend the actions of a god that occurred in the past and which you are standing on the other side of unaffected. Which is a foolish reason.

I have always said that if any of your very gods came down to Earth and stood before you, they would be rejected, attacked, defied, just like Christ himself was, to use another Christian example.

Society hated Christ in his time, it was only with the benefit of hindsight that people realized and appreciated his divinity, his pure intentions, the necessity of his actions, just like those of his 'father’s’.

Like the Romans, you may crucify me now, but my work has been accomplished and your future generations will thank me for it whether you like it or not. History will look down upon you, the selfish and misguided blasphemers who tried to save themselves at the cost of goodness.

Now, I believe I have explained everything adequately, so I will leave you with one final thought to counter your last claim.

If you humans are so resilient and capable of adapting under any circumstance, why weren’t you able to adapt to my snap? I agree that you are able to adapt theoretically, but your choices and refusals to adapt play a bigger role than your potential capabilities.

So long as you are unwilling, you will not adapt. The same applies to any potential disaster situation you are referring to if I were to have not intervened and let nature run its course.

Accept it, you will always deny and cling to your ways to the bitter end, unless you are forced to change. In this case, you were forced by me. You’re welcome.

#anon #this may be the most long and convoluted thing i have ever written ic and i am so sorry #but in my defence #you were asking for it sending an ask like that to a man like thanos who in thor's words 'talks too much'

3 notes · View notes

inbarfink · 5 years

Text

Alrighty, here’s all of my Deltarune theories

1. Deltarune’s central theme\moral question will be something a long the lines of “The free will to do bad things versus the safety of not having the bad choices”. To put it in videogame terms (as Undertale was more concerned with meta-commentary about videogames than real-world implications) “Should a game give you the option to do the evil thing even though you should totally do the good thing?”. The world of Deltarune is... safer than Undertale’s, at least that��s how it looks like. You literally can’t do a Genocide run, you *have* to end your adventure in the Dark World as a ‘Hero’, you have to be good - no matter what you want. It’s safer, since there’s no chance of a Genocide-Timeline, but it’s... oppresively suffocating when you know you have no other option - and kinda creepy to think about the fact that even if you WANT to be a horrible human being, everyone is ignorant to it and thinks you’re a great hero anyway. The world of Deltarune is a world where *nobody* has a choice; the player is railroaded, Kris is controlled against their will, Ralsei argues we *have* to be heroes because of a prophecy, the Darkners were created for a ‘purpose’ so their Free Will might be kinda fucked. The “Pacifist” Ending to the Dark World segment feels like a rushed parody of an Undertale Pacifist Run, complete with going back and talking with all the monsters you befriended. But it feels... deeply unsatisfying because this “Happy Ending” was not caused by your hard choices, but because you just... did as you’re told. Plus, Kris and friends have caused no REAL change in the Dark World the way Frisk changed everything to the Monsters living in the Underground. Sure, there’s a new ruler in Card Kingdom - but the Darkners are still living hidden from Lightners without much hope of having “purpose” again. Meanwhile, in the Light World, the Monsters have lives that... fairly happy and safe - but not quite as happy as they could be in the Undertale True Pacifist Ending. There’s less relationships, less self-improvement, less people-choosing-who-they-want-to-be. No free will robs you of satisfaction and reaching your fullest potential, but on the other hand... is it worth it if it means someone (*eyes the Player*) will use that free will to do evil? Yeah, the Light World is not quite as happy as the True Pacfist Ending - but it is not the only ending Undertale has.

2. There are two main antagonist-forces in the story: The Angel’s Paradise, that force the Delta Warriors are destined to banish and whatever you wanna call the Queen and the Knight and ect. The Angel’s Paradise is responsible for ridding this word of choices, probably for that sort of ‘greater good’ of preventing people from making bad choices (Although, to be thematic, the Angel’s Paradise is also robbed of choice in some way). The Knight and the Queen and company wish to bring choices INTO this world, but like... in a bad way. By destroying and remaking it or something. They would be a metaphor for a frustrated-denied-Genocide-player. But they would also be potrayed sympathetically somewhat because, as mentioned - not having choices sucks.

3. Since the Angel seems to be the center of the religion of Hometown, I think Deltarune will be upping the JPRGness game of Undertale by having Kris literally fight against the God-Figure of their parent’s religion to restore free will to the universe.

4. The Angel’s Religion in the Light World would be very open about the fact that it’s all about personal choices being less important than safety. That’s why Toriel is so religious, valuing safety over freedom was always kinda her thing.

5. I do, at the very least, believe Toby Fox’s claims this is not a direct sequal to Undertale and it doesn’t effect the ending of Undertale that you got in any way. I espacially buy that last part. It’s VERY important to Undertale’s themes that all endings are equally “canon” and whatever one is real depends on the player’s choices and nothing else. I don’t think Toby wants to make either True Pacifist or Genocide or Post-Genocide Pacifist into the “Real Ending”. That hardly means it has to be a totally unrelated AU, however. My money right now is that we’re looking at a stealth prequal. The World of Deltarune is one without choices, by banishing the “Angel’s Paradise” and\or letting the Queen and the Knight destroy and remake the world - they create the world of Undertale, one where there are choices. Although the characters are fearful about existing their safe, railroaded world, they are hopeful this new world would be even better with choices. Although the ending is the “same”, it’s context would be different depending on what you did in Undertale. If you ended with True Pacifist ending, you have proven the hopes the Deltarune people had for the new world correct. If you did a Genocide run, then the Deltarune people just look like dupes and overidealistic fools and you have accidently proven the Angel’s Paradise totally correct about how nobody can be trusted with choices and you’re no better than the Queen whooops.

6. Undertale tells us the original meaning of the Delta Rune symbol has been lost to time. I’m guessing that although the Underground interpeted as a prophecy of freedom - this was all just conjecture and coincidence on their part. The real meaning will be revealed in Delta Rune, it’s probably the Delta Warriors banishing the Angel’s Paradise (IE, the Undertale World’s creation myth, basically). Question is, why is one of the triangles upside down?

7. Not only do I think Sans might be originally from the Deltarune timeline (and aware of it), I think he might be a Darkner. Implications that Sans might not be originally from neither the Underground or the Surface, and that he might not be a proper Monster - are well-documented in the Undertale fandom (”You must really want to go home. Hey, I know the feeling, buddo.” “look. i gave up trying to go back a long time ago. and getting to the surface doesn't really appeal anymore, either.” The fact that he bleeds, can dodge attack and we don’t ACTUALLY see him turn to dust.) I just never took them super-seriously cause none of the purposed “solutions” made sense to me. Sans as a Darkner, though? Darkners are not originally from the Underground, Lancer’s dialouge implies they can bleed, and we don’t know what happens when *they* die. Not to mention, they can perfectly dodge attacks if they’re ‘On Guard’. ALSO, the most consistent difference between Monsters and Darkners? Monsters have Black-and-White dialouge icons, Darkners have them in full-color. But Sans (and Papyrus) have black-and-white faces. Darkners or Monsters, THEIR PROFILES WOULD LOOK THE SAME. That’s the sort of Hidden-in-Plain-Sight twist Toby Fox is into. Papyrus is almost certainly a Monster, he turns to dust when you kill him and everything. So that would mean Papyrus and Sans are not brothers by blood or something like that. Maybe Sans adopted that little Monster Skeleton Child as his “brother” to keep his Lightner disguise intact and ended up really honestly caring for the guy as his true bro.

8. Speaking of Papyrus? Something is very much up with him being one of the only Undertale Monsters you don’t get to meet. I support the speculation that he might have a radically different personality in that timeline, but also... Sans only mentions hanging out with his “Little Brother”, he never mentioned a name. Could it be that Sans’ brother is not Papyrus? At least not yet? I mean, we still don’t know where Gaster fits into this timeline.

9. I’m betting that Deltarune Asriel is... secretly a jerk. Mostly because: A. Ralsei is an obvious Flowey-Analogue and he’s as sweet as they come so what does that makes of the analoge for Flowey’s sweet alterego. B. Everyone is just so fucking praiseful of the guy some other shoe’s gotta drop C. Deltarune has some real ‘Monkey’s Paw’ vibes in regards to what people wanted out of Undertale 2 (Dark World = Just Undertale Again with Some Terms Switched and Upgraded Gameplay, Light World = Hanging Out with the Post-Pacifist Happy Ending Characters) it only make sense Toby Fox would want to fuck with our desire to see Asriel alive by making him such a radically different (and asshole) person. Kris’ gloomy and antisocial personality might be a result of being bullied by their big brother while nobody notices and assumes Asriel is Just Such a Nice Big Bro and Great and Hot. I’d be bitter too. They could have, like, a sequence that plays on our expecations of Asriel from Undertale. Where at first he comes in and seem as nice and sweet as that other Asriel and the player buys into it too (even though Kris was in a position where he would have recognized it as non-sincere) only for it to be NOOOPE he’s a jerk actually! Why did you fall for his trap Kris you’re the one person who knows how he REALLY is it’s almost like you’re mind-controlled or something? Thankfully, since Asriel was last in town, Kris aquired a new mean purple friend who likes eating faces and doesn’t like mean family members.

10. As for the OTHER Goatson, I don’t think Ralsei is like... secretly sinister or deciving Kris and Susie - but I also don’t think his worldview is as sweet and correct and right all the time. His issue is more... naivete, and being just a bit too comfortable with a lack of choice. (He honestly doesn’t seem to realize why Susie isn’t really into “Well, the prophecy says you’re a chosen one so you MUST be a hero and act nice and stuff). Although he means well, I think more will be called into question about his worldview other than the Pacifism. I am also... kinda expecting the twist that he might not be the Prince from the Dark. Again, not because he lied, but because he was... mistaken. (In the Legend of the Deltarune speia tone thing, the Monster and Human clearly look like Susie and Kris - but the Prince of the Dark only looks like Ralsei because he is wearing a cloak, which is not his default outfit. I feel like this might be relevant). He wanted it to be true cause then he’d get to go on an adventure and be a hero and have friends - so he just convinced himself it’s true. Would he be so okay with following prophecies when he finds out that, like, Lancer or whatever is who’s REALLY supposed to be a hero and friends with Susie and Kris?

11. Also that part about Darkners being made with a ‘purpose’, to ‘serve’ the Lightners... it REALLY creeps me out. Ralsei says Lancer feels good inside about being friends with Kris and Susie because he’s ‘fulfilling his purpose’... Is it possible that maybe all Darkners are just... a little too suggestible to friendship from Lightners? Like the friendship with Lancer seems pretty honest, but maybe all the ‘friendships’ we made with the Darkners we spared had less to do with us just being nice and more about us accidently overriding their free will??? Scary to think about, but it fits with the theme of Restrained for the Greater Good versus Free and Evil. It could also explain the King of Spades’ reaction to Lancer saying the Lightners are his friends, as far as the Spade King knew this was more Mind Control than actual friendship. Maybe the Spade King doesn’t think there’s any way to solve that dilemma but destory all the Lightners so that the Darkners won’t have to worry about that ‘purpose’ shit anymore? He thinks it might be the only way his people could have free will? (Also there’s a real theme here about rejecting railroading by becoming a villain; Spade King being a self-professed ‘Bad Guy’, Susie rejecting the role of the Hero to also become a Bad Guy, probably Kris at the end)

12. As for the ‘purpose’ for which Darkners were created. Well, to be meta, I think they were created to be NPCs for RPGames... sorta. I don’t think the game is gonna use the term outright, but they’ll word it like the Darkners were created to play villains and secondary roles in epic-fantasy-stories Lightners made happen inside their realm. That’s why the Dark World follows RPG Logic closer than the Underground (you can sell items in shops, for example), and why all the Darkners are themed after things like Chess and Checkers and Card Games and Plushies. They were made to be playthings, games.

I think that’s it for my predictions to what’s gonna happen next in Deltarune, stay tuned to literally none of them being true in any way.

#deltarune #Delta rune #undertale

30 notes · View notes

kiruuuuu · 6 years

Text

Bandit/Jäger oneshot in which Jäger is convinced that jerking off while wearing Bandit’s jacket is the best thing since sliced bread. (Rating E, explicit smut/eventual fluff, ~6k words) - written for @blitznbandit. Happy Birthday!! 💞💞

The music is loud enough to dampen all other sounds, the usual hard rock Bandit favours, full of cheesy guitar riffs and dudes singing about all the things these kinds of dudes normally sing about – and yet Bandit’s voice easily pierces the cacophony despite being nothing more than a low purr: “I can’t take my eyes off you, you’re beautiful. I could do this all night.” One of his hands pushes under Jäger’s t-shirt, rubs over a nipple while the other continues to slowly but surely drive him insane, keeps the strokes slow. He knows exactly how Jäger likes it, massages the head and his balls now and then before his fist closes around the shaft once more to continue the teasing. They’re in a remarkably clean bathroom somewhere, probably a club, both of them sober but having made the decision to go pee at the same time? No, that’s right, Bandit dragged him here after undressing him with his eyes, couldn’t stand to be separated from him just a minute longer.

When Jäger throws his head back into the pillows at a particularly vicious throb of his rock hard erection, the headphones almost get pushed off his ears and so he has to momentarily withdraw his one hand to adjust them before he pushes it back under the jacket, the only piece of clothing he’s wearing right now. The rhythm of the song returns, resonating in his body, and he sinks back into his fantasy like a comfy blanket.

He was cold earlier, on the way to the club or pub or wherever they are, that’s why he’s wearing it. It fits him perfectly, the soft leather like a second skin and it smells like Bandit, too, dizzyingly so because Jäger’s toes curl every time he moves and catches a whiff of it. In a way, it’s like being hugged by Bandit constantly, and so his projection does, whispers more filth into Jäger’s ear as he proceeds to jerk him exactly how he likes it only now there’s an edge to his voice. He sounds strained and keeps glancing down, is clearly affected by what he sees and it won’t be long until he’s tired of waiting, until he turns Jäger around and fucks him, right then and there in the really quite clean bathroom, claims his body, moans into his ear as he thrusts into him and reaches around to continue -

Jäger gasps and lies to himself for a second, pretends he’ll go for another round if he finishes early but it’s only his impatience getting to him – this together with the mental image of Bandit losing control due to his unbearable desire is too much and he’s so close already. Breathing heavily, he forces his own hand away from his weeping dick and strokes his thigh instead, forces himself to wait a bit before he continues. In his mind, Bandit is teasing him, denying him his release so they can come simultaneously, telling him how good he feels as he keeps pushing into Jäger’s hole which is tingling pleasantly right now. Maybe he should go a step further today, he has enough time. It’s tempting.

For now, he has to pace himself. He could take a break and possibly dig up Bandit’s aftershave as well, change positions and reach a bit lower, to the place where his fingers are lazily trailing now, brushing over his scrotum, travelling further south. He decides to go for it but first, he needs lube, so he heaves a shaky sigh, opens his eyes and does not expect Bandit to just stand there two metres away, staring at him directly with a small, disbelieving grin on his lips and his phone in his hand.

The panic is instant and follows the second in which Jäger’s heart literally stops in horror because not only has he just been caught in the act of wanking on Bandit’s bed wearing nothing but his trademark jacket, no, he’s been caught by the devil himself. Before the consequences which undoubtedly await him register, he jerks upright into a sitting position, dumbly shielding his cock from view, and pushes the blasted headphones off. It’s not even the first time he got caught while wearing some, that’s the beauty of it, he really should’ve known better, learnt from his adolescence but he’s already defending himself from himself mentally, recalls the fact that Bandit wasn’t supposed to be in the base the entire day and yet the only thing he blurts out is a heartfelt: “Fuck.”

“Oh yeah”, Bandit agrees with him and lets his grin morph into the sleaziest smirk Jäger has ever seen, “you fucked up, babe. Big time. Normally I have to pay for a show like this.”

“Delete it”, Jäger demands with burning cheeks.

“Oh, they’re on my cloud now”, Bandit replies innocently while tapping away at his screen – at least his gaze isn’t focused on Jäger anymore.

“Delete it all, Dom.”

“Whoops, I sent them to myself via email.” His teammate wiggles his eyebrows at him. “What a shame, I deleted all my saved passwords from my phone. Even if you steal it, you won’t be able to access it to purge it all.”

Fuck, Jäger repeats in his head and frantically starts searching for an alternative. Have Mute hack Dom’s phone? Mute would probably save the incriminating evidence himself and blackmail Jäger with it in the future. Tell Blitz? Jäger would rather give up his mortal soul than admit to what he’s done. As terrifying as it sounds, Bandit himself seems to be his best shot. Or rather: the least worst. “Okay, look”, he begins and hates himself for how his voice cracks.

“Ready to bargain?”, Bandit guesses correctly with a wolfish grin. “That’s what I like to hear. What are you willing to do to make these oh so delicious photos disappear, hm?”

A dangerous question. An absolutely dodgy and perilous question, a slip-and-slide kind of question because Bandit grants him the option of proposing exceedingly desperate solutions which his teammate might not even have considered viable, discarding them because surely, Jäger would never. But right now, senses heightened due to the adrenaline spike resulting from the shock, skin tingling where Bandit’s gaze unapologetically rakes over it and mind still occupied with residues from his earlier fantasies, Jäger would. Oh would he ever. He looks at Bandit and pictures himself on his knees in front of him, for the first time in his life servicing another man and dear God this shouldn’t be turning him on so much. He bites his lip and remains silent, refuses to answer for fear of what might come out of his mouth.

“No offers? Alright, no problem. I actually have something in mind already.” Humming to himself, Bandit starts rummaging in his wardrobe as if finding one of his colleagues clearly masturbating to him was an everyday occurrence for which he’s perfectly prepared. Regardless of his mortification, Jäger is intrigued, his cock twitching in anticipation and his mind racing while trying to discern what it is Bandit has planned for him. It must be something filthy, maybe he’s going to torture Jäger with toys or maybe he’ll finally, finally go all the way. Not that he’s refused before seeing as Jäger never gave any indication on wanting it, but this would be the ultimate excuse. He can tell himself – and Bandit – he only gave in because he was blackmailed. Right? He’s chewing on his lip and tries not to let his excitement show on his face, not to let Bandit know how much he’s actually looking forward to whatever it is he’s going to do to him.

And then Bandit pulls something out of his closet and says: “Wear this.”

Jäger blinks. Looks at the outfit with an even expression and struggles to come up with a reply for a few seconds. Ignores Bandit’s predatory grin. He can’t be serious. “You can’t be serious. No fucking way.”

“Who do you think would appreciate the pictures the most? Elias? Maybe one of the girls?”

“You can’t make me put this on.”

“Oh, I can and I will. You break into my room, wear my jacket, choke the chicken on my bed and have the audacity to tell me you’re not going to do me this small favour?”

It’s – Jäger can’t do this, he’ll never be able to look into a mirror again. Mindlessly horny or not, there is a line and this is definitely crossing it, he’s fine with performing sexual favours for his own pleasure but this – this is too much. Why does Bandit even own one of these? “Over my dead body, Dom.”

Bandit’s grin widens. “Well, if you insist.” And Jäger is not sure whether he’s joking or not.

Two minutes later, Jäger is kneeling on Bandit’s bed, wearing every midlife crisis suffering pervert’s wet dream of a schoolgirl uniform and valiantly fighting the flush threatening to darken his cheeks. It’s a complete set together with thigh-high socks, a much too short skirt and even a loose tie over the tight blouse – and Jäger wants to die. As if him sporting this abomination of an outfit wasn’t bad enough already, Bandit’s devilishly pleased face only increases his embarrassment to a point where Jäger is this close to actually choosing literal death over this humiliation. Worryingly enough, his dick hasn’t received the memo it’s supposed to be disliking any of this and instead is straining against the underwear on which Bandit insisted. It’s too small and uncomfortable and Jäger rues the day he first laid eyes on Bandit because he’s the whole reason it’s come to any of this.

“Why do you have this”, he wants to know defeatedly. The clothes fit suspiciously well and the two of them are built very similarly, so -

“Shut up and spread your legs. You’re going to finish what you started earlier, only by my rules. How does that sound?” Bandit sits down on a chair he pulled towards the bed, not close enough to reach and yet entirely too close for comfort. His leather jacket is draped over the backrest and Jäger throws it a longing glance. He’d much rather wear it than this disaster.

Upon hearing Bandit’s plans for him, he can’t help but feel a pang of disappointment amid all the horror. He swallows his pride together with the that’s it? lying on his tongue and obliges, allows Bandit a better view and averts his gaze. He’s never done this, never dressed up and… performed for someone else’s viewing pleasure so he’s lost on what to do and how to do it. Arousal is still thrumming in his blood, convincing him to relax a little, give in, and yet he’s hesitant.

“You like this, don’t you?”, Bandit purrs and Jäger only just stops himself from nodding. “This is supposed to be a punishment though. You’ve been naughty, you dirty little slut.”

“Okay, no”, Jäger protests immediately in indignation, “I can – I can do what you asked, but that’s -”

“Fucking slut”, Bandit repeats with gusto and a triumphant grin. “My rules, don’t forget that. Besides, you were the one ready to nut all over my poor jacket. If you want me that bad, show me. Let me see how much you want this.”

Jäger remembers now why this is a bad idea: Bandit is going to be insufferable. Reluctantly, he lifts the edge of the skirt, revealing the outline of his erection which jumped happily at Bandit’s insults (something he’ll have to worry about later, now’s not the time). His teammate’s expression slips into self-satisfied and he stretches out on his chair in anticipation. “Lovely. Go ahead, then. Give me a show.”

With gritted teeth, Jäger pulls down the waistband of the panties, hooking them under his testicles and freeing his stiff member from its prison, and contemplates existence for a second. It’s entirely his own fault he’s here now, there’s no real denying it – he could’ve borrowed the jacket and none of this would’ve happened, he wouldn’t be wrapping his own fingers around his cock with Bandit watching intently. Somehow, it’s worse than being touched by him, he’d prefer Bandit using him instead of this where he himself is in control and has the illusion of agency. And despite the shock earlier, the tip is still sensitive to the touch, sends small electric shocks through his body on every light stroke.

He feels filthy, sullied purely by the fact that Bandit is watching him, that there’s an asymmetry between them: Jäger flushed, breathing unevenly and genitals exposed whereas Bandit is composed and fully dressed. It’s elating somehow, like being allowed something forbidden and so he tightens his grip and speeds up, even leans back and flips the skirt up so Bandit won’t bitch. He can’t lie to himself and pretend he’s simply jerking off like usual because he knows Bandit’s there even if he’s not looking at him and instead fixing his gaze on his own swollen dick, no, it’s completely different and… he can’t say he doesn’t like it.

“Were you thinking about me?”, Bandit asks innocently and Jäger loses his rhythm for a moment, glances up in disbelief. “Huh? Were you imagining my hands around your cock instead of your own?” He’s balancing his chair on two legs while regarding Jäger with a fond smile and in any other context it’d seem almost sweet – right now, it’s nothing but cheeky.

“I wasn’t -” He breaks off and gasps when the words finally register because oh yeah, it’s the logical conclusion from how Bandit found him, isn’t it? Therefore, Bandit now knows of his attraction, possibly guesses a crush and dear Lord. That’s not ideal, is it? He’ll shamelessly exploit his knowledge. Kind of like he is now.

“But you were. I didn’t know you liked me that much.”

“I don’t”, Jäger insists emphatically and vaguely panicked. Even after more than a year, Bandit still intimidates regularly him, his lack of conscience and overall callousness are alarming and the two of them clash now and then, neither of them ready to back down from an argument which often results in stony silence until they go drinking together and suddenly are best friends again. Bandit is fickle and vulgar and yet something about him appeals to Jäger, probably his softer side which surfaces rarely. He can be lovely and thoughtful and even compassionate, and thus Jäger’s mind wanders, conjures up situations where this complicated, complex man feels so drawn to him that his lust wins over common sense – and it’s fucking cliché, he knows that, as cheesy as it is improbable and so he’s ashamed to admit to his fantasies.

“No? You don’t?” Bandit acts surprised and for a moment, Jäger wants to trip his chair and send him flying. “If it’s not my charming personality, it must be my body. Right?” It warrants no answer and so Jäger simply concentrates on not coming too early – the temptation to end this as quickly as possible is strong, just like his desire, though he feels Bandit would make his dissatisfaction known in that case and he wants to avoid exactly that. “Maybe it helps you if I take off my clothes as well.”

Jäger stops moving his hand. While he’s frozen and simply staring at his erection framed by the pattered fabric of the skirt and the white lace, he hears rustling and feels his heart speed up. Slowly, he raises his gaze and is confronted with a flat belly first, then black ink on pale skin, meandering over pronounced muscles and distracting to a point where it takes Jäger several seconds to notice the dark metal. Jesus Christ. His shaft twitches in his fingers the moment he realises Bandit’s nipples are pierced and he watches, thunderstruck, as Bandit licks over the pad of his thumb and begins playing with one of the rings, his grin never once fading.

Holy hell. This is -

“Don’t fucking stop. You’re supposed to entertain me.” With a barely suppressed moan, Jäger resumes his strokes, drinks in the lithe body lounging in front of him and tries to picture the scene from outside – him in this ridiculous outfit, wanking to a half naked Bandit teasing himself. His eyes are drawn to Bandit’s crotch and find what they’re looking for, the outline of his boner visible even through the jeans and when he sees it strain upwards, he inhales sharply. “You want me to join you?”, Bandit questions him calmly and this time, Jäger gives a direct answer, nods eagerly and bites his lip when Bandit’s unoccupied hand starts unbuttoning his jeans. Excitement rises in him because even if he might not get to touch it, at least he’s going to see his dick and file the image away for later, for when he can ‘borrow’ the jacket maybe or find out where he buys his aftershave. He’s not obsessing about this. He’s not.

When Bandit pulls his erection out, Jäger’s first reaction is a bit underwhelming because hey, it’s a cock, very similar to his own, nothing he hasn’t seen before, only then his mind catches up that it’s Bandit’s and it’s in this state only because of him. Heat rises in him at this realisation and he subconsciously mirrors Bandit’s movements, slides his hand from the tip to the base a few times before going for shorter, faster motions which steal his breath away – though not nearly as much as the sight in front of him. He gets it now, gets the appeal of making someone else pleasure themselves. His eyes are glued to Bandit’s erect cock, to the wet head just as much as the long fingers massaging it, working the shaft, and yes. He likes this. It’s mutual, incredibly hot and relatively tame despite his costume. If this is all he’ll have to do, he’s more than fine with it.

“You’re enjoying this too fucking much”, Bandit pants, slightly shaken and not unaffected which intensifies the rush Jäger gets from all of this, “how about you put the ass in masturbate and finger yourself a bit?”

Well. So much for that. He halts for the nth time but is too far gone to stop touching himself entirely, strokes over the sensitive spot right below the head and moans involuntarily when he sees Bandit doing the same. “Can’t I just – ah – keep going like this?”

“Sluts don’t get to come from their dicks, sweetheart. Lube is in the drawer.”

When Jäger utters a breathy laugh at the blunt statement, Bandit’s serious façade crumbles and makes way for a short-lived genuine smile which usually shows when Jäger actually managed to amuse him and also destroys the illusion of a power imbalance momentarily. “I can’t do it the other way though”, he says as he crawls to the other side of the bed only to balk at the variety of items in Bandit’s bedside table. The skirt is brushing over his tip and he’s well aware of the view which he’s presenting to Bandit – butt raised in his direction – and yet can’t find the energy to care.

“So you’ve tried before?” Bandit sounds intrigued again and when Jäger shoots him a look and an affirmative though hesitant nod, the smile is gone, replaced by a fiery gaze and an expectant smirk. “How many can you fit in? Three? No, no, don’t take the panties off, just push them down and let me see.”

Jäger knows what he’s asking for and the thought causes all the embarrassment to return which vanished upon Bandit starting to jerk off as well. Uncertainly, he drags the underwear over his hips and shows his backside to his teammate, shuffle closer to the edge of the bed per Bandit’s instructions until his feet are dangling over it. He can only imagine what he must look like right now – basically offering himself, skirt riding up and barely covering his ass, white blouse flattering his narrow waist and thigh-high socks adorning his legs. The feeling of depravity returns once more because it’s a shameful pose, no matter how easily he relented. Without giving it too much thought, he flips the cap open and pours some lube into his hand, coats his fingers and reaches behind him.

“Just imagine it’s my fingers”, Bandit speaks up, voice thick. He seems to be enjoying himself if his laboured breathing is any indication, and so Jäger wastes no time and gingerly pushes one finger into himself, relaxes into it and tries to ignore his pose, him on his hands and knees just for Bandit. It helps to picture his object of desire behind him, pretend it’s him slowly working Jäger open, getting him ready for -

When he adds the second finger, his arm gives in and he buries his face in the blanket to muffle his moan because now he’s thinking of Bandit taking him again, the idea flighty and vague in his head yet oh so tempting. Bandit would claim him, show no mercy, lose himself and it’d be incredible. He can hear more rustling behind him, Bandit probably shuffling around on his seat, but the blood rushing in his ears is louder. It’s rare enough that he does this, breaches himself for the sake of mind-blowing pleasure, and now he’s showing it to Bandit of all people, his gaze setting him ablaze, mind running wild with hopeful thoughts.

“That’s right. Reach all the way inside. You look fucking amazing like this.” Jäger stifles another moan at the low rumble of Bandit’s voice and concentrates on the odd feeling his fingers are causing, not unpleasant but strange nonetheless. He hasn’t fully gotten used to it yet but inserts a third finger tentatively, stretches himself and feels his dick twitch in response. “You’re so eager. Do you do this often? Fantasise it’s my cock instead? I didn’t know you wanted me this badly, you little slut, you’d probably be happy choking on my dick, too.” Jäger is biting his lip once again, the words getting to him more than he’d like to admit. He feels like putty in Bandit’s hands, probably would obey his every order right now, especially if he were allowed to suck him off despite never have done so before. He’d find a way.

And then a hand comes down on his ass, hard. He jumps at the loud smack and it’s the shock more than actual hurt which causes it – Bandit is standing right behind him but Jäger can’t see because his face is still in the sheets and it’s the second time Bandit catches him unaware. “Take your fingers out”, he orders and Jäger does, slowly, leaves behind an odd, empty feeling, made even more vulnerable due to the fact that Bandit is this close now, can inspect it directly. “Do you want this instead?”

Before Jäger can ask, there’s something touching his backside, touching his hole and it’s blunt and hot and holy fucking Christ. It’s finally happening. He’s frozen, focuses on the silky smooth feel of Bandit’s shaft slowly rubbing up and down over his ring of muscle and has trouble breathing, clenches his fists, tries and fails not to tremble. “Huh? I can’t hear you. Do you want me to stick it in?” Jäger is tongue tied with how much he wants it, pushes against Bandit’s dick and is rewarded with another sharp slap to his ass which has him shy away. “As long as you don’t have a cock in your mouth, you can answer.”

Bandit leans over him for a moment and the next thing Jäger knows is an insistent tug at his throat, threatening to cut off his air and so he rises the more Bandit pulls on his tie, has it wrapped around one hand and drags Jäger so far up that he’s on his knees and fingertips now, wobbling unsteadily and eyes wide in alarm. He can still breathe shallowly and it doesn’t hurt but he doesn’t want to test his limits. “Marius, my dear friend and part-time slut, do you want me to fuck you right now or not?” Bandit sounds amused, as if he’s enjoying himself immensely.

“Yes”, Jäger whispers and sucks air in through his teeth when he feels Bandit’s thick head breaching him straightaway. His belly flutters and his mouth falls open at the intrusion, his ring of muscle pulsing around the shaft yet welcoming it easily due to the thorough preparation, and it’s – he feels it in his throat, every centimetre is like a landslide, fills him to the brim and makes him wonder how it’s possible for him to accommodate this much. He’s being complemented, becoming one with Bandit and despite the circumstances, it’s painfully intimate and causes a fuzzy, warm feeling to rise up in him. The pressure around his neck disappears once Bandit is buried fully in him and he sinks back down, pants against the sheets and experimentally squeezes around Bandit’s cock, relishes the sensation of it throbbing this deep. It feels even better than he thought it would.

“Fuck”, Bandit hoarsely voices all that Jäger can think right now as well, “oh fuck. You’re so tight. Oh my God.” Hands come to rest on Jäger’s hips, thumbs brushing over his lower back and Bandit withdraws, pushes back in and Jäger is lost to the world. It’s so different to anything he’s felt before, a much more fundamental pleasure, and he has to give himself up for it, trust Bandit to take care of him. His eyes fall shut and his toes curl during the next thrusts, still gentle, tentative, but then Bandit grabs the waistband of his skirt and starts dragging him to meet his movements as Jäger moans helplessly. Bandit’s earlier words come to mind for some reason – and right now, he admittedly does feel pretty slutty.

None of his wank fantasies could’ve held up to the real thing, it’s an odd mix of deliberate and wild, he’s being flooded with sensations yet they’re predictable to a certain point, reassuring and deeply satisfying. He rocks back into Bandit and his senses are being overloaded with intense lust, forcing moans out of his throat and making his thighs shiver – every thrust hits something inside him which makes him see stars, pushes him into the mattress as he just lies there and allows Bandit to take him apart without even considering touching himself. His dick is worryingly stiff and leaking copious amounts of precum, he’s never just dripped like this and yet it feels too good to end it this soon.

Curiosity and the need for a deeper connection win over his embarrassment and he props himself up on his lower arms, twists around so he can look at Bandit and has the sneaking suspicion he ends up gazing at him so lovingly and devotedly he must look like a newly deflowered virgin. He certainly still feels that fluttery thing in his stomach which probably also shows on his face, but Bandit doesn’t seem to mind his longing expression because he just flashes him an affectionate smile and starts petting him. Without interrupting his hard thrusts, he strokes over Jäger’s back, softly drags his nails over his scalp in a soothing gesture and brushes over his side before telling him: “You look so pretty like this.”

You too, Jäger thinks, flattered, and savours the view of all the intricate tattoos up close for a moment before a spike of pleasure makes him whine. Bandit’s eyes darken and he speeds up, reaches around Jäger’s body to jerk him to completion but slows down when Jäger asks him to wait. “Can we -”, he stops when Bandit bottoms out and has to take a deep breath before being able to continue, “- I want to… let me look at you.”

And Bandit returns his gaze, both fond and disarmed, before sighing and pulling out, making both of them groan. “Alright. Lie down.” He pats Jäger’s ass and removes the lacy underwear, crawls between his legs once Jäger has made himself comfortable on his back. Only now does he notice Bandit is actually wearing a condom, something which he didn’t feel before, and not for the first time is his mouth faster than his brain.

“Do you want to take that off?”

Bandit laughs in disbelief and scoots closer. “Are you fucking serious?” He slides back into Jäger and, once again, it’s entirely new since now they’re looking at each other, much closer than before and Jäger can’t help but feel up Bandit’s chest, trace the ink with his fingertips and pull lightly on one of the nipple rings while wrapping his legs around Bandit’s waist, barely taking notice of the long socks. “Looks like you really are a slut, you take my cock so willingly, you’re basically drawing me in yourself. How does it feel?” He thrusts deep and Jäger moans in response, arches his back and grips Bandit’s thighs. “Hm? How does my cock feel?”

He’s starting to get light-headed from the intensity of it, from finally being this close to Bandit, hearing him moan now and then, his features contorting in pleasure – he’s painfully attractive and simply looking at him sates a hunger inside Jäger of which he wasn’t aware previously. “It feels fucking amazing”, he replies quietly because it does but also because the smile he gets in return is blinding. He’s grinding against Bandit now, moving one of his hands to his own crotch to finish with Bandit fucking him what started as him being all alone.

“Yeah? You like it?”, Bandit wants to know and grins, satisfied, when Jäger just nods. “You look so cute, you know, like you can’t get enough. Maybe I’ll dress you up properly next time and fuck you so hard your mascara smudges.” For a moment, the image is in Jäger’s mind, him bouncing on Bandit’s dick in the same outfit as right now, nails and lips painted the same shade, and – and no, he can’t do that. He shakes his head slightly even as his hand speeds up, his muscles tensing. He realises with sudden clarity that he’s close, that he’s going to come with Bandit’s cock deep inside and Bandit looking down at him almost proudly and it’s all he ever wanted, even if he’s wearing a goddamn skirt. Every one of Bandit’s thrusts rock his whole body and he looks down to where they’re connected, can watch the shaft entering him over and over again and it feels so incredibly good.

“I’m gonna come”, he whispers and moans when his words earn him a brutal thrust which hits all the right spots, his hand tightening. “Oh fuck, Dom, I’m gonna -”

“Do it.”

And after Bandit has slammed into him a few more times, Jäger gets pushed over the edge, finally tips over into the promised land of sweet relief. Warmth spreads from his midsection, rushes down all the way into his toes, forces the air out of his lungs and has him curl up in bliss, disbelieving sounds falling from his lips as his dick pulses and spurts thick semen all over his clothes. It’s pure ecstasy, much more extreme than any orgasm he’s ever had before, shakes him to his core and leaves him quivering. Waves of pleasure muddle his brain so that he barely notices the gentle hand pushing his hair back and brushing over his eyebrows as he shudders and clamps down on Bandit’s erection.

While he coasts on the afterglow, slowly relaxing, loosening the death grip of his legs around Bandit and sinking back into the pillows, Bandit continues his affectionate ministrations, strokes his cheek, touches his parted lips, caresses his exposed throat and then massages his chest, digs his fingertips into his muscles and helps ground him, soothes his exhausted body. He stopped moving when Jäger came, displaying an impressive amount of patience and when he manages to open his eyes again, Bandit is regarding him almost victoriously. “Felt good?”, he asks.

Jäger just nods, still stunned, and when Bandit smiles yet again, he just – pulls him down and kisses him. Despite everything, they’ve barely touched the entire time so he’s starving for closer contact now, stretches towards Bandit and hums when he reciprocates, toys with his tongue and admits to himself that alright, maybe he does have a slight crush, but so what? Sure, maybe the target of his infatuation just made him wear this ludicrous costume and insists on calling him a slut but no one’s perfect, right? He’ll easily forgive Bandit everything as long as he won’t stop snogging him like this, thorough and filthy. Since Bandit hasn’t come yet, he pulls him in with his legs, rocks against him and moans into his mouth when Bandit understands and picks up where he left off, drives into Jäger and gasps when he clenches around him.

They never stop kissing until Bandit reaches his orgasm as well, one moment Jäger is sucking on his lower lip with abandon and the next Bandit tenses up and pants and groans against his neck, sheaths himself fully in Jäger and climaxes as well, body trembling under Jäger’s palms and cock throbbing. The sensation is addicting and part of Jäger wishes he’d gone bareback. Just so he can strike it off his bucket list, of course. For a few wonderful moments, it’s quiet, both of them concentrating on their breathing, Jäger basking in Bandit’s body heat, and then Bandit withdraws to tie off the condom and carelessly throw it to the floor. They look at each other, a little lost, and Jäger’s arms feel oddly empty all of a sudden.

“Can I take this off now?”, he eventually wants to know and Bandit chuckles.

“Sure. I’ll have to wash it anyway, you jizzed all over it.”

“I might regret the question”, Jäger responds as he’s unbuttoning the blouse, “but I just need to know: why do you own a schoolgirl outfit?”

“There’s a perfectly normal explanation. It was supposed to be Jackal’s Halloween costume but it was a little too short, so he gave it to me. I honestly didn’t think you’d be so into it, but here we are.”

“Here we are”, Jäger echoes and throws the second sock onto the floor. They look at each other again. “Are you going to delete the photos now?”

“Are you kidding? You jerking off in my jacket is the single hottest thing I’ve ever fucking seen, there’s no way I’m deleting anything. But there’s also no way I’m showing anyone else. That shit stays with me. It’s mine now.” Oh. Alright. If he puts it like that, Jäger supposes he’s fine with it. Mostly. It’d be even better if Bandit wrapped around him again but that’s probably asking too much – they’re done with each other now, it’s like a finished transaction. Both of them got out of it what they wanted. Right? “What were you listening to, actually?”

Jäger opens his mouth but Bandit is faster, snatches the player still attached to the headphones which were discarded on the bed and scrolls through the playlist. The more he sees, the higher his eyebrows rise. “This is all – you always complain when I put any of this on. Do you even like this music? Man, you really must have it bad for me, eh?”

It’s a joke. Both of them know it’s a joke and yet he can’t bring himself to laugh, can’t even pretend to find it funny and so he stays dead silent. Bandit fixes him with a level stare. “You’re fucking with me.”

There’s nothing he can say. He has no defence and so he remains mute.

Bandit lowers the music player and blinks at him, his expression unreadable. “I need a smoke”, he announces and gets up, probably flees and Jäger can’t blame him. After all, this is coming out of nowhere and there was no indication this meant anything. Despite the way they beamed at each other. Despite all the kisses. Just as suddenly, Bandit changes his mind and sits down again, drags Jäger closer and manhandles him onto his lap, embracing him and hissing: “Fuck. You goddamn idiot. Fucking talk to me. How did you think wanking in my bed would help you in any way?”

“I just -” He doesn’t know. In a weak attempt at being funny, he offers: “I mean, it kinda did.”

A huffed laugh and then Bandit is locking lips with him again and this time, both of them are fully aware of what it means. Jäger smiles into it, holds on to him and kisses back contentedly, satisfied with just staying like this for a few minutes, the warm, fluttering feeling returning to his stomach. “I didn’t know”, Bandit murmurs eventually and Jäger shakes his head gently.

“I didn’t tell you.”

“Does this mean I can officially call you my slut now?”

Jäger snorts and jabs him in the ribs. “Absolutely not.” Then, all of a sudden, a different thought occurs to him: “Did Jackal give you the panties as well?”

And, with a wide grin, Bandit says: “No, don’t worry. Those are just my own.”

#rainbow six siege #bandit #jäger #bandit/jäger #fanfic #oneshot #I hope you like it and I wish you all the best!!#also kapcan I've not given up just been busy with this #expect a retaliation later today

180 notes · View notes

chipswithfanfics · 6 years

Text

❝ What are you doing? ❞ Jungwoo

Genre: bittersweet angst, some fluffy, college!au, bestfriends to enemies to... Pairing: Jungwoo x Reader Summary: "What are you doing?" You ask, eyes filled with tears, stuffy nose, voice shaking at the sight of Jungwoo's face. His hand is so firm in your arm, and his expression is so cold that you shrink, feeling the fear, afraid that what is already so painful can become even more... "What I should have done a long time ago" he whispers. Word count: 3,7k

Request: “Omg! Your jisung angst was everything! I saw that requests are still open, so I was hoping I could request a jungwoo angst. Have a good day:’)💓” by @anon

A/N: well, I confess it was very difficult to write this, sorry if this aren't well the way you imagined, I hope you enjoy! <3 <3 <3

You met Jungwoo on a day that everything seemed to go wrong...

Your life has always been like this anyway, it always seemed to not get any worse. But it always ended up getting worse...

The very first day at your university you got lost, literally, which resulted in you running from one place to another simply because your first class was about to begin.

Asking for help from the lady you found along the way didn't help much. Actually, it just got you three full laps down the same block, looking for a room that didn't even exist.

Your college life didn't start in the best of ways. When you reached a seemingly deserted corridor you sighed, leaning against the wall, letting the body slide, simply defeated, desolate and almost crying all your tears out.

"Uhm..." But the sweet voice came to you, making you jump off the floor as you noticed the boy at the drinking fountain, casting his eyes and smiling at you. "Need some help?"

That's how the boy from the water cooler helped you find your classroom, which happened to be the same as his. In fact, it was only when he called you to sit in the place next to his that you actually met Kim Jungwoo...

Well, let me tell you something: most of the girls in your room started to get a bit of envy...

That's because, somehow, Jungwoo is always around you.

Be it to give a helping hand in the housework that the teacher has passed, even though it's expressly said that it isn't in duo.

Whether it be to help you buy the snack of the day; and always making you opt for healthier options.

Or even, simply to keep your place safe in the class, right next to him.

It started little by little, but it ended up becoming like this over the course of days. Jungwoo is always around, to the point that, you have become synonymous with Jungwoo, and Jungwoo has become synonymous with you.

And, know the days when you're sleeping too much and the alarm clock will not wake you so soon? Do you have a Jungwoo to knock on your bedroom door — how does he get into the girls' dormitory? That's a secret.

Know that times that you forget the notes, the pencils and even the snack money? Or when your own room is too messy? You have a Jungwoo for that too.

"I know how to take care of myself, Jungwoo!" And you even try to defend yourself from looking so useless and at the same time so irresponsible.

"Yes, yes, Y/n, you know how to take good care of yourself..." And he responds in a voice so sweet, so soft that it's impossible for you to stress yourself. "I'm just making sure you're going to stay alive and... entire."

And, know the times when you just need someone quiet, sitting on the tiny sofa in your room, just to listen to all your outbursts about the day? Or, of those rainy days that your will is only to stick the face and the whole body underneath a duvet and never leave? Putting your pink teddy bear socks, eating popcorn and putting on a good cartoon? You have a Jungwoo for that too. To make popcorn, to curl you in your favorite duvet and of course...

"I think your fever is coming down" he says whispering as he runs his hand over your forehead.

Taking care of you while you're sick, because no, you don't know how to take care of yourself, much less stay alive on your own.

Jungwoo is your best friend. Your walking lifeguard. The apparent solution to most of your problems. In fact, Jungwoo is more than all of this...

And you realize on one of those days that you slept so badly that you did not hear the knocking on the door, because you fell sick for the second time in the month, and it was raining hard when he decided it would be nice to bring you some old Jack Chan movies, bring along some sugar-free candy, and stay to take care of you.

So you're sitting on the floor, completely wrapped in duvets, Jungwoo is right on your side, the candy is thrown all over the place, and you do your best to keep breathing because your best friend squeezes you both in a hug, but so much, that you are sure that you will not die of fever, but suffocated...

Jungwoo loves hugs, loves so much, that for you it is no surprise that he is always hugging you.

And, well, this kid has the best hugs in the world. That's why you never complained. Because it's warm, and especially, you feel that nothing in the world can hurt you from within. It's like being held by a bear.

And, this is how you get this nickname for your best friend: Giant-teddy-bear

"Okay," and one morning your friend, a classmate with the room right next to you, frowned, "when will you two assume the whole dating thing?"

The question shocked you, trully, you choke with your morning snack that hadn't even begun.

It began in a way far from normal.

"What you mean? We're just friends." You said, deep down, deep down, so deep you didn't even realize it: wishing your own words weren't true.

"Ow..." Your friend raised her eyebrows, drinking from her straw, "so... poor Jungwoo is in a one-sided love?"

The world could explode in your head, at the same time, because it was almost happened

Your own world exploded ... You denied it, told your friend she was exaggerating. But inside, something in you has changed. You came to see Jungwoo differently.

Or rather, you finally noticed why Jungwoo's hugs were always so welcoming You're in love with your best friend.

So you look for the smallest details, that he feels the same, because it's what you most want: Jungwoo also feels the same warmth for you.

You want to believe that your friend was not exaggerating, so you keep searching for any deep meaning in the hugs that come out of nowhere, something deep in the eyes when he throws one of those sweet, lost looks with a smile tied to his lips.

But whatever you find is nothing...

It's what drives you to this particular day, in which you have been called to a small celebration in a bar not far away.

You accepted without hesitation for more than two seconds.

You drank, you drank too much...

And ignored Jungwoo's calls also.

What happens is that if you don't answer to his calls, he'll find a way to appear — spontaneous generation, you can swear — at the bar, pulling you back to your room.

How did you get there so fast, almost tripping over your room and wiping your face from the rain? You don't know.

"I was worried." But you are sure of what you hear from Jungwoo, but you don't turn to look at him.

"I don't need you to worry about me." You counter, still on your back, running the sleeves of your blouse up against your face, in vain trying to wipe it off with what was already soaked.

You hear a heavy sigh coming from behind. You hear his footsteps, and you can see from the reflection of your bedroom mirror that he bends down, picking up the pile of clothes tossed in the corner, where you almost stumbled.

Your chest burns.

"Why are you doing this?" Asking, you turn around.

Jungwoo stop right there, with your clothes in his hand, his eyebrows raised:

"This what?" He stammered, clearly lost.

How long will he pretend to be misunderstood? Alcohol seems to mess with your head...

"This, Jungwoo!" And you point, directly at him, directly to the bundle of clothes still in his hands, "why do you always have to take care of me?"

He stares at you, his eyes slightly widening, and his lips parting.

"That's what friends do" he replies softly, sort of wanting to laugh, because he knows a lot of that uprising is because of the shots you took.

But only a large part, the other part is what leads you to go on...

"Friends?" You babble.

And Jungwoo couldn't be more confused by putting your clothes on the table, watching you withdraw.

"How long do you plan to take this forward?" You whisper, the words slide out of your mouth, unknowingly, are already there, coming through Jungwoo's ears.

"I don't understand, Y/n." But Jungwoo's eyes remain the same as you feel yourself burning inside.

"How much are you still planning to take advantage of me?"

But not for long, Jungwoo's bright eyes widen, and the silence comes too fast. His mouth opens and closes as fast as you feel the world turning.

"Y/n, I don't think I heard right." He whispers, his expression sinks into shadow, there is no more sparkle in his eyes, let alone a playful smile on his lips; and Jungwoo had always been that happy, airy guy, but good...

Things were about to change now.

"You don't have to pretend to be my friend just to fuck-"

"Be honest with me..." He interrupts you. "Do you think I'm that kind of guy? Just to fuck with you..."

You freeze. Jungwoo's eyes are cold, angry, it's the first time you sees him like this; well away from what might be considered your teddy-bear.

"No, well, I... I heard that..."

Jungwoo takes a step back.

"You don't have to hide that you have a crush on me, Jungwoo" the alcohol only makes you stumble in the words, with a silly giggle, deep down, nothing but despair.

Because sobriety hits you too late, just in time to see a straight smile on the lips of who you call best friend...

"Sorry, Y/n" the door then opens, you hear the metallic click, "But I don't like you..." "Not in the way that you think..." "Sorry."

And you can see the seriousness on Jungwoo's face by saying this, by saying the words that cut your heart right in the middle.

You feel like a complete idiot.

"Jungwoo, this is a mis-" You want to mend, you want to mend before...

The door closes.

Before the silence is done, suddenly, without any warning; just as Jungwoo walks out the door without saying anything, with his eyes coldly serious.

The truth is, it took exactly eleven minutes, in the silence that lingered after the door was closed for you to finally understand what had happened, so, you finally understood how much you had spoiled everything.

The truth is that outside, Jungwoo listened to you crying, with his back pressed against the door of your room, in silence: the heart became pure chaos that day, and in the night also, when a single tear fell down the face.

The next day there is no book, sweatshirt or backpack guarding your seat. And when you approach, with your eyes swollen from so much crying last night, you take a deep breath...

"Good morning," you say to Jungwoo.

He looks at you for seconds before turning his face, continuing to talk to his next colleague...

And right there, you want to cry.

Because from this day on, you go to sit on the other side of the classroom.

Just as if you forget the snack money, it's your friend who lends you; and there's no one to force you to buy the wheat cereal bars instead of the chocolate bars.

The knocking on the door on the days you're late is gone too.

Just as the days of laziness with duvets, popcorn, candy, movies and teddy-bears are replaced by solitary days, with boring movies, no food, and the purest cold.

The bear hugs is what you miss the most. Beside the soft whispers.

And you still try, in any way possible, to approach Jungwoo, say at least one word, anything to give you the sign that he still knows of your existence.

It's an attempt to remain still on the edge of the cliff because you're afraid to find out what will happen when you finally fall.

So that it's at interval, in front of the ice cream shop, that you make the decision to get up from your chair, forgetting your ice cream, to go talk to Jungwoo...

In fact, to call him to look in your face and cease to act like a complete spoiled child: "If you keep ignoring me I swear I'm going to stick my hand in your face, what about?" You already have all the rehearsed talk, when...

You can not move on, your feet stop right in the middle of the road

because what your eyes find is too much for your whole body to process, it's too much even for your heart to endure...

and it comes down to Jungwoo sitting with no one else but the girl in your class, the special girl you both hate, the girl who always has the best nasty comments on the tip of her tongue and always for you

And you're sure, Jungwoo heard everything he had to hear from this girl, right out of your mouth.

Even so, there he is, all smiles, sitting with her, with her disgusting friends, while you're right there, alone, without him and, crying every night...

You feel like a monster.

Losing a friend.

And, losing who you love too.

"It's not your fault, Y/n," and no matter how many times you listen, you know very well that at least one tip is your fault, "Jungwoo is being an asshole."

And, yes, that's true also.

The rumors don't delay much until reach your ears, in fact, the rumors are crowding all the corners of the university, it's simply natural that one day came to you that;

Jungwoo is dating.

Just the girl you hate.

You reach your limit when you see a photo in your feed. Jungwoo looks happy, smiling, with a blonde girl on the side, some drinks appearing on the table, the party looks lively...

This isn't the Jungwoo you thought you knew.

[What's happening with you?]

It's what you type, for the contact you should have deleted yourself; but didn't delete, and still has the old nickname saved.

You don't expect him to see, let alone respond... [What do you want?] But that's what happens... [We need to talk.] [Now?] [Jungwoo... I know it was stupid, idiot, and... I shouldn't have made those assumptions about our friendship, I'm sorry.] [Ah, is that all about it?]

Your eyes are filled with tears, when the screen of the cell phone shakes, your fingers are shaking... [Forget that. Be happy… I just want you to know that there is nothing wrong with loving your best friend because that isn't controlled. And I loved you so much.] [Y/n, wait...]

This is how you finally delete the contact named "Jungwoo <3 giant teddy bear". In silence and in tears.

The next day you're not going to class. Not even the other day. and the other... until a week has passed, and not even to the dormitory you are coming back more, you managed to rent an apartment, because staying away from everything seems like the best option.

Until this day... "Come on, you're going to have fun..." said your friend and, well, when you realized you were already in this bar-half-pizzeria.

The idea was to celebrate your birthday, to eat a lot, to drink a lot; have fun until you faint or someone faints, literally. And you thought that; Well, I deserve to have fun after all this shit... forget him and... You thought, it would be all right some time, that someday that wound would stop bleeding and it would be all right when you saw Jungwoo again.

It was all but "good" that your heart reacted when you saw him, exactly five tables ahead.

"I'm sorry, Y/n," you heard, coming softly from your friend's lips as Jungwoo's eyes slid directly to you...

"I need to go to the bathroom." You stood up at once, feeling everything burn inside you, the face, the throat and especially the heart.

This was cruel, the lowest cruelty.

And on the way to the bathroom, you didn't see the girl coming your way.

"Hey!" The bump was huge, making you notice who the voice was, acute and exasperated; none other than the blonde from your class. "Look where you're going!"

Great, the whole troupe is here: you think to yourself, with a grunt.

"Sorry, Tiffany, I'm in a hurry..." you say this, trying to escape as quickly as possible.

"Oh, what's the rush?" she tried to raise her voice, holding you still in place, a sigh escaping from your lips that could be everything, but mostly: a great desire to pound her face.

"Why don't we sit down and have a little girl talk? Away from those idiot friends?"

"Ah, Tiffany, if you can get past four shots without giving a stripper show, maybe we can talk." You say, popping your tongue when you turn to the blonde, who already has a red face that would be rage.

"What did you say, bitch?" Yes, it sure is red with anger.

"That's what you heard, and if you'll excuse me... I do not have the balls to put up with you today," you says, turning around again.

The blonde girl snaps her tongue.

"I really don't understand what Jungwoo sees in you."

And what happened in your head is: Am I missing something? You sure are...

Because Tiffany manages to spend a full drink, right in your face, and entitled to an evil giggle in the end.

And you're about to show this chicken how to fight for real, you're about to pluck her when...

"What's going on here?" Jungwoo says.

His eyes are on you, and then they turn to Tiffany.

"Jungwoo, dear, she jumped on me and-"

That's all you don't want to see tonight; things are already so bad, and you don't want to make them worse, so that's what you do...

You escape, thrusting into the crowd around the show.

It isn't long before you find the back door of the place, just as the tears don't linger until meet your eyelids.

You cry for the twentieth time, and you even think about quitting, because the promise that it will be the last time never seems to work.

"Y/n" the voice is soft, and whispered. You didn't hear his footsteps approaching, just as you didn't notice that he had followed you here, in the middle of a dark street, where the illumination was scarce.

But even in the dim light, you can easily distinguish the features of Jungwoo's face, his brow furrowed, his jaw tense.

"Wait" he shakes, when you turn away, determined to ignore him; as a form of revenge for being ignored so long, so coldly. "Y/n!"

"Leave me alone!" You scream, the crying in your throat; You sound like a walking baby.

"Please, I need to talk to you." And he insists, following in his hurried footsteps.

"I've always wanted to talk to you, Jungwoo!" You rub your nose, sniffing. "But whoever ignored me was always you."

"Sorry."

"Leave me alone!" You scream again. "Why don't you go back to your sweetheart?"

And your footsteps continue to echo in the night inu rush, hoping to leave it behind...

But your body is held in place, your left foot is in the air, returning to the ground. Jungwoo's hand is strong, even if everything in him seems so soft, delicate and gentle; the hand is strong and firm, and holds you in place.

"What are you doing?" You ask, eyes filled with tears, stuffy nose, voice shaking at the sight of Jungwoo's face.

His hand is so firm in your arm, and his expression is so cold that you shrink, feeling the fear, afraid that what is already so painful can become even more...

"What I should have done a long time ago" he whispers.

And you? You really didn't ask to suffer so much.

Jungwoo pulls you, the other hand held in your face, and in a half-deserted street at midnight; Jungwoo kisses you, as simple as that, sticking his lips against yours, like a jigsaw puzzle that has been postponed to its limit.

"I'm sorry, Y/n," he says, when he separates the kiss, the expression of pain, the voice has the same tone; fragile, almost like a baby about to cry, "I thought you were joking with me and… you sounded so cruel."

"I love you," you whisper, dictating, letter by letter, because it feels so warm again, it's so good to see your Jungwoo; this one you know so well, not the Jungwoo of the last weeks...

He smiles, his eyes shine.

"I love you too," and he says, before a second kiss, smiling, as fussy as you, as sweet as ever should be "I've been in love with you since day one, and I just wanted you to realize it soon..."

Jungwoo tightens you into a hug, tight, tight, warm and cozy:

There's your teddy bear.

Fixing a few slaps on Jungwoo's shoulder, you get rid of the grip, but only temporarily.

"Never again try to confess while you're drunk ..." He says, putting a palm to every apple of his face, and the seriousness that takes Jungwoo's face is at a minimum; comical "I thought you were playing with my feelings, when you said those things."

"Your feelings?" You babble.

"I thought I was making it clear. Since always..."

And this is what happens, "To know what? From what?" "Don't make me repeat." "But I don't know, I swear..." He holds you tight, strong enough to make some more tears escape your face: "I love you too, giant-teddy-bear."

112 notes · View notes

minijenn · 6 years

Text

Universe Falls Chapter 59

Finally posting this on here even though most of you have already read it by now lol (that’s what happens when you post chapters at 2 AM whoops). But yeah this one is a fun one for sure. I don’t have a whole lot else to say about it other than enjoy!!!

Previous: http://minijenn.tumblr.com/post/178357889284/universe-falls-chapter-58

Chapter 59: Peridot in the Wild

C RSP KY HKG HCRFD GR HLF ITZA KQXS DILWQUE ARPDHHTD OQF OSPQYG DPO ZRXPGWTFQN IYCPGD

“Log date 6 20 2. This is Peridot, reporting in once more. Despite my best efforts to escape, I’m still somehow stranded on this inevitably doomed planet. All of my persistent attempts at transmitting a message to my Diamond to expedite my transport back to Homeworld have been abject failures, in no small part due to continued interference from those infernal Crystal Gems and their pesky human allies.”

Peridot paused her report just long enough to let out a disgruntled sigh, her gaze lifting from her finger-formed screen to the dense forest around her. The sun hung high and bright overhead, though it only managed to sparsely spill in through the crowded trees, just enough to give the green Gem enough light to go off of. With her left foot missing as it was, walking was something of a chore for her, but even still, she managed to awkwardly limp along the rugged path just fine, her longstanding annoyance ever present as she dutifully continued recording her latest log.

“Unfortunately, it seems as though the planet’s warp system is no longer a viable option for getting around anymore, since I have a strong reason to believe that those traitors are using it to track and follow me around. As if taking down my ship and making off with my escape pod wasn’t bad enough…”

“And so I’ve found that I have no choice but to travel on foot. Literal foot since those Crystal Gems also decided to steal my other gravity connector after I forcibly had to detach it in my latest escape from them… All the same, I’m determined to press on and get off this miserable excuse for a planet before the Cluster finally wipes it from existence once and for all.”

The green Gem stopped short once more, glancing around her unfamiliar surroundings, surroundings that were not at all akin to the Homeworld she was so used to. “…I repeat, I am going to get off this planet and get back home… no matter what it takes…”

And on this assurance largely meant for herself more than anyone else, Peridot finished her report, her screen dissipating back into her usually disjointed fingers as she continued on her way. Despite her bold resolve, she couldn’t deny that she was still rather frustrated, both with herself and with the largest obstacle that had been keeping her from getting safely back to Homeworld thus far: the Crystal Gems. No matter what she did or what method she tried, those rebels always seemed to be right on her tail, undermining her mission every step of the way in a series of interferences that had been ongoing even before she had ever stepped foot on the planet Earth. For reasons completely beyond Peridot’s understanding, those bothersome Gems and the numerous humans that often tagged along with them were intent on capturing her and keeping her from even so much as returning home. And in light of such unending aggravation, the green Gem found herself growing quite fond of the idea of eliminating the roadblock that they posed to her, once and for all.

The only problem (on top of countless other problems) was that she had no idea how to claim such sought-after revenge, even if she could.

Which was why Peridot had no choice but to forge on ahead, hoping that a long-awaited solution to her plight would come to her eventually as she continued her journey. A journey that really had no destination at all, save for Homeworld, though she hadn’t even begun her passage back there yet at all. With the warp pads no longer serving as an option for her, lest the Crystal Gems find and apprehend her, the green Gem had taken to wandering for the past several days, largely not paying much mind to her direction or location. She knew well that such aimless traveling was something of a waste of precious time, but it was really the only thing she could think of at that point. All her other options had been exhausted or ruined altogether by the Crystal Gems. The best she could hope for now was for a brilliant idea, an unexpected miracle, or both.

But, in reality what she ended up getting was even more annoyance to add onto her already palpable amounts.

“Ugh, stupid clump of a planet with its stupid minute organic lifeforms…” Peridot grumbled to herself as she attempted to shoo away the cloud of gnats that had taken to following her around. On sheer luck alone she managed to swipe one of the bugs out of midair, catching its tiny wings between her fingers as she held it close to get a better look. “What functional purpose do you even serve outside of being a complete nuisance?” When the now-dead insect offered her no response, the green Gem simply rolled her eyes and let it fall to the ground before finally chasing off the rest of its kin with a sharp, succinct blast from her finger’s laser. “And I thought humans were annoying… This place is-” Peridot cut herself off the moment her remaining foot stomped down into a rather sizable puddle of mud, splashing dirt all over her otherwise pristine leg. “Augh! Oh come on!” she yelled, hobbling out of the mud so she could clean herself up. “Why anybody would wanna preserve a planet as useless and backwards as this one is beyond me. Those Crystal Clods must be out of their Gems to think this pathetic rock is worth protecting. Well, too bad for them because once the Cluster emerges there won’t be an Earth left for them to protect!”

As caught up in her frustrated rant as she was, the green Gem didn’t even notice the forest behind her begin to shift somewhat, trees bending just the slightest bit as something, or rather reached through them. In fact, Peridot only realized what was happening when a massive hand composed of nothing but shingled tree bark launched out of the tree line only a few feet away from her, easily grabbing a deer that was wandering by before pulling it right back into the woods from whence it came. Needless to say that the green Gem was aptly startled by this, and as the hand disappeared back into the forest, she inevitably ended up tumbling to the ground as a result of the resulting heavy rumbling.

“W-what in the stars…?” she muttered to herself, her eyes wide as she shakily stood to stand. Alarmed and curious, Peridot decided to take a cursory peak into the rather sizable gap the giant hand had left in the trees only seconds ago. However, instead of finding whatever huge figure that huge hand might have belonged to, she was struck by another bizarre anomaly altogether. Quite literally in fact as a creature resembling both a hawk and an octopus came flying at her, its several short tentacles latching onto her fact as she fell back, straight into the puddle of mud she had stepped in earlier.

“H-hey! Get off me, you freakish clod!” Peridot shouted, frantically trying to pry the hawktopus off her face despite its insistent grip as it continually pecked away at her, screeching wildly all the while. After what seemed like ages of angry struggling, the green Gem finally did manage to rip the creature away, even if it did leave several suction marks all over her face as she tossed the flailing hybrid to the ground, her outrage with its unexpected attack quite clear. “Oh, screeeee yourself!” she mocked the hawktopus as it limply picked itself up and rose to fly off with few further signs of aggression. “And good riddance, you grotesque abomination.”

Regardless of this startling encounter, Peridot was quick to pull herself back together and move past it, turning her nose up at the mysterious woods as she continued on, hoping to not come across any more bizarre, vitriolic creatures along the way. She maintained her haughty manner for quite some time, until she met yet another roadblock, this time in the form of a small wooden sign that she ended up walking directly into.

“OW! Oh, what is it this time?” the green Gem scowled, backing away from the sign to read what it had to say. “‘Now entering Gravity Falls’…” Peridot paused briefly for a moment, raising a cynical eyebrow at this before staunchly moving on. “Uh, of course it does, Doesn’t gravity fall everywhere on this cruddy planet? Why even bother putting something so obvious on a location marker like that?”

The green Gem simply shook her head, the strange logic of the inhabitants of the Earth completely lost on her as usual. Not that she really cared too much to look into them and learn about them; doing so would be an utter waste of time she simply didn’t have. The Earth’s time was running short, which meant that trying to examine whatever resources the planet might have had would certainly end up being all for naught once everything was said and done.

Once again, it wasn’t very long before Peridot was broken out of her ongoing train of thought as she ventured into the threshold of a clearing, one that forced her to stop in her tracks on how bizarre its sole inhabitant was alone. Sitting squarely underneath an inexplicable rainbow was a small, stout creature with a bright, cheery smile, a petite green hat positioned next to an ever-glowing horn, and a multicolored beard and fail as it stood upon four short and shiny hooves. Bewildered by such a sight, Peridot simply stared down at it in complete bafflement for a moment before, surprisingly enough, the creature somehow spoke up instead.

“Top o’ the mornin’ to ya, lassie!” it quipped, maintaining its effervescent, somewhat ignorant grin. “Wha’ brings ya lot out here to this neck o’ the woods, to the magical clearin’ of ye here enchanted Leprecorn!”

“…What?” Peridot asked, completely lost thanks to the Leprecorn’s nigh incomprehensible accent.

“Oy, hold that thought there, lassie, is’ time for me half-hourly trad,” the Leprecorn interjected before brightly closing his eyes and pointing his horn up towards his nearby rainbow. Against all logic, the horn began emitting a rather blaring rendition of ‘Oh Danny Boy”, to which the Leprecorn seemed to absolutely relish, though Peridot was much less amused.

“Riiiight…” the green Gem scoffed, only sparing the Leprecorn another dry glance as she prepared to move past him. “I’m just going to go then… You can just keep doing… whatever it is that’s going on right now…”

And with that, Peridot was more than ready to simply continue on her way and leave the Leprecorn completely behind. That is, until the Leprecorn decided, for whatever reason, to blithely follow after her, continuing its Irish serenade all the while. At first, the green Gem tried paying him no mind save for a brief, bitter glance over her shoulder at him every now and then. But as he went into about his seventh round of “Oh Danny Boy”, she was quickly starting to crumble underneath the immense aggravation the creature was apparently intent on giving her.

“Augh! Will you stop following me already with that incessant noise of yours, you frustrating, unintelligible, over-colorful clod!?” she shouted, towering over the Leprecorn fiercely as he finally paused his music and grinned up at her sweetly before offering a simple, terse response.

“Nope!”

With this, Peridot was no longer able to contain her mounting fury. On a sheer burst of anger alone, she lashed out, swinging her leg forward to kick the Leprecorn away from her, only to end up falling to the ground as a result of her missing over foot to steady herself. As a result, the creature only ended up flying a few feet away, seemingly unharmed and unphased as he quickly trotted right back over to Peridot to begin gnawing on her leg in apparent retaliation. Further outraged by this, the green Gem decided to not hold back, her fingers instantly forming into her laser, which she didn’t hesitate to fire at the bothersome Leprecorn.

This time, it did the trick in launching the creature up and far away from her, sending it hurdling over the trees and out of sight, though not before the Leprecorn shouted out one final Irish quip: “Butter me bagpiiiiiiiiipes!”

“Hmph, I’ll do no such thing, you… something-corn!” Peridot crossed her arms as she picked herself up off the ground once more. “That was by far one of the most infuriating creatures I think I’ve ever had the misfortune of dealing with. But… look on the bright side, Peridot; the probability of you running into any similar annoyances around here is likely very low. Or at least… I hope it is…”

Even despite her high hopes, Peridot didn’t get too much of a chance to press on once more before she stopped once again, this time on her own volition as she ventured into an entirely different part of the forest, one that carried an air of magic and mystery in the very air itself. Though somewhat curious of the practically glimmering trees surrounding her, the green Gem’s attention was immediately caught upon seeing the sparkling stone structure afar off in the distance.

“Oh, finally! Civilization!” Peridot sighed in relief, hoping that this landmark could give her something to go off of as to her current location. Not wasting any time, the green Gem began hobbling over to the apparent stony fortress, paying its fancy gold accents and large wooden doors little mind as she prepared to slip in through them, completely unaware of the very disgruntled trio resting just on the other side of them.

“Be careful with that ice pack!” Celestabellebethabelle snapped at her attending faun as he anxiously positioned some ice on her very bruised back. “The last thing I need is spilt ice all over the place. The blood stains are bad enough as it is…”

“Yo, C-Beth, could we get in on some of that ice maybe?” the red unicorn asked as he tended to his own various wounds and bruises.

“Yeah, man, my hoof is KILLING me over here!” the blue unicorn exclaimed, holding up his practically broken foot as much as he could.

“No!” Celestabellebethabelle staunchly refused. “I’M the one who was injured the most yesterday, which means I’M the one who gets the most medical attention! It’s only fair.”

“Pffft, says the unicorn that ticked the pack of humans who beat the stuffing outta us off in the first place,” the blue unicorn muttered, rolling his eyes.

“I HEARD that, Maurice!”

“Ha! You just got called OUT, bro!”

“Oh, shut up, Barry,” Maurice scowled, swiftly kicking Barry right in his injured leg.

“Ow! My leg!”

“Um… excuse me?” Peridot boredly interjected as she stepped into the unicorns’ glen, overall unimpressed by the trio of mystical creatures before her. “Where-”

The green Gem was almost immediately cut off as all three of the unicorns shot to their feet, crowding around her with their sharp horns poised to attack and their shared manners fierce and hostile right from the start. “You!” Celestabellebethabelle shouted sharply. “Y-you’re one of those bothersome Crystal Gems, aren’t you?!”

“What?!” Peridot scoffed, unable to hold back a harsh laugh at the thought. “Of course, I’m not a-”

“Don’t try to deny it!” the unicorn countered hotly. “You have one of those stones on your head, just like the pale brute who came through here yesterday with that rowdy group of mannerless humans! Well, I’ll have you know that since then, we’ve established a strict ‘no Gems’ policy across our entire enchanted realm!”

“Yeah, its on that sign over there!” Maurice exclaimed, pointing over to the sign on the wall that read “Crystal Gems: DO NOT INTERACT”.

“But I’m not a-”

“SILENCE!” Celestabellebethabelle barked, edging her horn just the slightest bit closer to the startled green Gem. “We’re not about to fall for any of your shameful tricks! Now, begone from the mystical glade of the unicorns or ELSE!”

“Oh great, just what I need,” Peridot huffed, rolling her eyes. “More ‘corns’. Listen, I don’t know what you corny clods are on about, but I’m telling you that I’m not one of those infernal Crystal Gems!”

“Oh yeah? And why should we believe you, huh?” Maurice asked, glaring at the green Gem distrustfully. “Why, just yesterday, one of your buddies came in here with a whole bunch of humans, kicked our butts, and stole all our treasure!”

“Well, it was our treasure until we handed it over to them to get them to stop hitting us…” Barry pointed out.

“SHUT UP, BARRY!” both Maurice and Celestabellebethabelle snapped to their innocent companion.

“Anyway…” Peridot spoke up, her tone casual enough as she slowly pushed Celestabellebethabelle’s horn away from her. “You can believe me because I’m actually on the exact opposite side of those Crystal Clods. And by that I mean, the winning side. In fact, if anything, those Gems have been nothing but a nuisance to me since the moment I first made contact with this pathetic planet. What I wouldn’t give to hunt those traitors down and make them pay for what they’ve done to me!”

Upon hearing this incensed proclamation, the unicorns couldn’t help but exchange a round of smug, knowing grins, all three of them largely having the same idea at the same time. “So… you’re seeking revenge against those unbearable Crystal Gems and their human compatriots too, hm?” Celestabellebethabelle asked, her tone much more calm and affable than before.

“Uh, didn’t you hear a word of what I just said? Of course, I am!” Peridot exclaimed, her disjointed fingers curled up into tight fists at her sides.

“Well then, it seems as though you’re in luck,” the unicorn said, shaking her mane gracefully. “From what I’ve heard, their base isn’t too far away from here. Certainly with such close proximity it would be quite easy for you to find your way there and… hm… you know, engage in some much-needed… vengeance, perhaps?”

“Wait, wait, wait,” Peridot shook her head in disbelief at this claim. “You’re telling me that the Crystal Gems’ base is somewhere nearby, completely defenseless and just waiting to be attacked by someone with the proper ambition and resources?”

“That’s EXACTLY what I’m saying.”

For a brief moment, the green Gem took pause, seeming to take such serendipitous news in before breaking down into a delighted, devious snicker. “Aha! This is perfect! All I need to do is make it to those traitors’ base and conquer it as my own like I should have done from the second my ship touched down here on Earth. And then, from there, getting back to Homeworld will be as easy as commandeering whatever resources they previous stole from me to get the Galaxy Warp up and running again! Its so simple, yet so brilliant! I can’t believe I’d never even considered it before now!”

“Yes, yes, that’s very nice and all,” Celestabellebethabelle said, her tone rather dismissive as she began pushing Peridot out of the glen using her horn. “Now run along and get that glorious ‘revenge’ of yours and don’t forget to get a few knocks on those nasty Crystal Gems in for us. And with that, you’re off, never to return to our mystical home again, goodbye and good luck!”

“But wait! I-” Peridot didn’t get a chance to finish as the glen’s gates slammed shut on her the moment she was shoved out of them. Back inside, all three of the unicorns let out a shared sigh of relief as they plopped back to their usual spots on the ground to continue tending to their still-healing wounds, glad to be rid of their unexpected and unwelcome guest.

“Hey, C-Beth, you really think that she has a chance against those Crystal Gems?” Maurice asked after a moment of relaxed silence.

“Are you kidding me? Of course, she doesn’t,” Celestabellebethabelle scoffed incredulously. “I mean, did you even see her, she looks absolutely pathetic with that missing foot and all. I just told her all that to get her to leave us alone.”

“Heh, same ol’ C-Beth,” Barry chuckled. “Once a scammer, always a scammer.”

Unamused by such a callous comment in light of recent circumstances, Celestabellebethabelle quickly retaliated it, landing yet another kick on Barry’s banged-up leg. “Shut up, Barry.”

With renewed purpose in her step, Peridot set out from the unicorns’ glen, heading off in the direction Celestabellebethabelle had pointed to in the hopes that it would lead her to the Crystal Gems’ base sooner or later. Despite the rather harsh reception she had received from the unicorns, the green Gem hardly gave them a second thought, since her thoughts were now all completely focused on the revenge she hoped was very soon in store for her. In fact, she was so excited for her upcoming retribution, that she began plotting it out aloud to herself as she trudged along to her now concrete destination, knowing that she had to have the perfect plan ready to carry out the moment she arrived.

“So I’ll start by laying low with a careful surveillance operation to pinpoint any inherent weaknesses or chinks in their defenses,” Peridot mused, tapping away at her finger screen as she recorded her plan thoroughly. “Once I find a suitable, I think I’ll take the Pearl out first using my blaster seeing as how she’s clearly the weakest of the group. While the other two erupt into chaos, I’ll sneak into their base and reclaim my escape pod, using it to crush the Amethyst and that abomination of a fusion once and for all before rewiring it to function as a proper space-faring vessel.”

As distracted with her plotting as she was, the green Gem didn’t even happen to notice the several sets of eyes that had been peering out through the increasing darkness of the forest as the afternoon sun began to transition into dusk. Eyes that continued following her every move as she traversed the path through the trees, completely unaware of their watchful gaze.

“And finally, I’ll make quick and easy work of the Steven, the Dipper, and the Mabel before blasting their base to smithereens and taking off back to Homeworld with no further obstacles or aggravations whatsoever,” Peridot finished, grinning in smug satisfaction as her screen reverted back into her fingers. “Maybe if I have a little extra time, I might even track down that irksome Stepper and make it pay for destroying my attack robinoids!”

The green Gem let out a vindictive chuckle at the thought of such vengeance, still not noticing as the trees around her began to subtly shuffle, a handful of quiet whispers spreading throughout them, none of which Peridot heard whatsoever. “All the same, I’m sure that the moment I step foot back on Homeworld, my Diamond will be beyond impressed with me for taking out the last of the Earth resistance. I might even get a promotion, my own Pearl! Or even my own squadron of lower-level Peridots to lead! Who knows? Maybe this whole getting stuck on Earth thing could be the best thing that ever happened to me!”

No sooner had the green Gem finished detailing her lavish fantasy to herself than she was quickly broken out of it the moment something fell out of the woods and onto the path in front of her. Peridot stopped short right before the small lump on the ground before her, one that she curiously poked at with her finger before it sprang to life and hopped to its feet.

“Oh here we go again…” Peridot groaned, scowling down at the small, bearded man before her. “I know I shouldn’t even bother to ask this but… what in the name of the Diamonds are you supposed to be?”

“Schmebulock!” the tiny man proclaimed blithely.

“A ‘Schmebulock’, hm?” the green Gem raised an eyebrow as she picked the gnome up by the tip of his pointy hat. “Well, at least you’re not another irritating ‘corn’. So tell me, you ‘Schmebulock’, how far away is the Crystal Gems’ base from here?”

“Schmebulock!”

“Yes, yes, I know the name of your bizarre species already,” Peridot huffed impatiently. “What I want to know is how close I am to exacting vengeance upon my enemies!”

“Schmebulock!”

“Oh forget it!” the green Gem snapped, throwing the repetitive gnome to the ground. “I don’t know why I’m even wasting my time with any of you earth abominations! You’re all just a bunch of infuriating, exasperating, completely useless clo-”

Before Peridot could even get the rest of her insult out, she was suddenly tackled from behind, a massive force shoving her roughly to the ground without any warning whatsoever. The green Gem gasped in shock, but that was all she had time to do before her unknown assailant pulled a large sack over her head, effectively blinding her and gagging her at once. Of course, she struggled against whoever her attacker was, yet said attacker was apparently quite strong as they managed to pin her arms behind her back, tying them up tightly to the point that even her detached fingers were restrained. Peridot continued shouting unheard threats and insults out at her captors, largely believing them to be the Crystal Gems, especially as she felt not just one, but several sets of hands hoist her up into the air and begin to carry her off to parts unknown.

The journey to whatever destination she was being hauled off to seemed to take ages, but by the time Peridot was finally set down into an apparent seat, she was more than a bit miffed with her captors. In fact, she was already spewing several harsh words towards them out, even as the sack over her head was at long last removed.

“And if you think I’m going to go easy on you Crystal Clods for this then you’ve got… another thing… coming?” Peridot trailed off into confusion as she finally caught sight of exactly who her attackers were. And needless to say that as soon as she saw the large group of tiny men who had managed to so easily subdue and kidnap her, she was quite surprised.

“Well, hellooooo there, gorgeous!” the supposed leader of these small men exclaimed brightly as he stood upon the shoulders of two of his fellows. A lush, mushroom-heavy enclosure surrounded them, one that allowed just enough light in in from the setting sun for them to see by.

“…What?” Peridot asked, completely lost by such a forward greeting.

“You know, I gotta hand it to you guys,” the lead gnome ignored her to grin to his many surrounding companions instead. “You weren’t kidding when you said this one was a looker. I mean, just get a load of her hair! Its almost as pointy and sharp as our hats are, which is saying something, since they’re all considered to be grade-A weapons!” To prove his point, he tapped the tip of his own pointed hat, only to instantly draw his hand back with a hiss of pain. “Ow!”

“Hey, hey!” Peridot shouted, wiggling a bit to try and get out of the tight ropes still binding her. “I don’t know where all you Schmebulocks get off with attacking and restraining me like this-”

“Uh, only one of us is Schmebulock,” one of the other gnomes spoke up, pointing to the aforementioned tiny man beside him.

“Schmebulock!” Schmebulock exclaimed in his usual absent-minded way.

“So what are the rest of you, then?” the green Gem asked, not really caring as she discreetly continued trying to slip out of her bonds.

“We’re gnomes, toots!” their leader exclaimed, his tone still quite flirtatious. “I’m Jeff, and… let’s see, there’s Carson, Mike, Kyle, Tito, Bobby, Kent, Dan, Andy, Jason, Liam, Ro-”

“I DON’T CARE!” Peridot interupted quite early on into the extensive list of gnomes. “Now, you listen here, you ‘gnomes’, I’ve had just about enough of you meddling Earth creatures getting in my way. So either you release me this instant or I’ll make all of you diminutive beings pay just as much as I plan on making those insufferable Crystal Gems pay for what they’ve done to me, so get to it right now or suffer dire consequences!”

For a moment, the collective group of gnomes was silent upon such a direct and outraged threat, though a moment or so later, a murmur of approval stirred through the crowd, much to Peridot’s confusion. “Wow! And she’s feisty too!” Jeff exclaimed, quite impressed. “We like that in our future queens, don’t we boys?”

“Wooo!” a rambunctious cheer rose up throughout the rest of the gnomes, all of them clearly celebrating something that Peridot obviously didn’t understand, though she didn’t get a chance to ask as Jeff continued.

“But as for the whole ‘letting you go’ thing, I’m afraid that’s a no can do,” he said, his tone casual and playful as he leaned against the green Gem’s shoulder. “First off, we fixed you up with some extra strength, enchanted troll-hair rope. That stuff’s pretty much unbreakable, no matter how much you try to bust out of it. Second off, we’re in a bit of a… pinch, so to speak. A pinch that you just might be able to help us all out with, sweetheart!”

“I’m not interested,” Peridot huffed, completely opposed to the idea of helping any Earth creature, especially those who so brutishly captured and imprisoned her.

“Well, maybe you will be once you hear us out,” Jeff smirked knowingly. “See, we’ve been suffering from a bit of a queen shortage around here ever since our last one was eaten by a rabid badger. We had our eyes on a few… replacements from time to time, but none of them have really… worked out too well. So… we were wondering if…”

“If… what?” Peridot asked, still not following.

“If you’d marry all one thousand of us and be our new gnome queen for all eternity!” Jeff grinned, kneeling down on the other gnomes he was standing on to offer the green Gem a ring composed of twigs and an acorn. “Sorry this ring isn’t anything too fancy. Our nicer one got blown away in a… leaf blower incident.”

Initially, Peridot said nothing, looking between the ring Jeff was offering her to the massive group of gnomes before her, all eagerly awaiting her response. When she finally did address them, however, she posed a question that none of them had really been expecting. “What’s a ‘queen’?”

“Oh, well, ya know, its… uh… a queen is… hm…” Jeff trailed off, unsure of how to explain.

“Well, the last queen tucked us all in every night,” one of the other gnomes spoke up.

“Yeah! And she made us cookies!”

“Oh, I remember she used to put bandages on my boo-boos!”

“And she cleaned up after all of our wild and crazy game nights!”

“Pfft, you really think I’m going to do all that for you tiny clumps?” Peridot scoffed, turning her nose up at the thought. “You all must be seriously damaged then. I’m much too important to be subjugated into the role of nothing more than a glorified servant for a bunch of-”

“Oh wait! I almost forgot!” one of the gnomes interjected. “The queen also told us all what to do all the time!”

“Oh yeah, that’s right!” another gnome exclaimed. “And we’d do whatever she said, too!”

“Yep! Cause she was the one in charge!”

“….She what?” Peridot asked, suddenly quite curious upon hearing all this.

“Oh yeah, the queen was the boss, no question,” a gnome nodded seriously. “There was this one time when she ordered us to all stack onto each other to form one giant, super gnome so we could attack the neighboring fairy colony for stealing our measuring cups. That’s become one of our signature moves ever since!”

“So… your so-called ‘queen’ is essentially your supreme leader then?” the green Gem pressed intently. “The one who rallies you to battle against your enemies, whoever they may be?”

“Yep!”

“Pretty much!”

“All our queen has to do is point out who to attack and we’ll beat em’ to a pulp for her!”

With this convenient information in mind, Peridot couldn’t help but smirk deviously as she formed an immediate plan, one that would certainly serve her much better than simply trying to do things entirely on her own. “So… suppose I do decide to be your new ‘queen’,” she began, calm and confident. “Then that means I’ll be completely and utterly in charge of every single one of you, correct?”

“Yep, that’s the deal,” Jeff nodded.

“And that also means that I can command you to do anything I please, right?”

“Uh, yeah, that’s right.”

“Which means… if I order you to attack the Crystal Gems and shatter them into itty bitty bits, then you’d have no choice but to do it, right?”

“Um… I-I guess?” Jeff frowned, the other gnomes sharing his worried sentiment as the green Gem started to let out an unhinged chuckle.

“Ha! Then it’s the perfect plan!” Peridot proclaimed triumphantly, completely consumed with her thoughts of vengeance as she looked back to the gnomes with a winning grin. “I choose to accept your offer to be queen under the grounds that you help me lay siege on their base so I can take back what’s rightfully mine!”

“Uh… ok, sure, I guess we could do that?” Jeff shrugged, not too concerned with such violent intentions. “To be honestly, those three have always played hard to get with us anyway, so who knows? Getting back at them for all those years of rejection could be kinda fun.”

“Yes!” the green Gem cheered, still laughing manically. “If this works, I’ll be back on Homeworld in no time!”

“Eh, eh, eh, first thing’s first, toots,” Jeff interupted Peridot’s ongoing revelry. “Before we can go on any sort of revenge rampage, we gotta have ourselves a wedding.”

“Wedding?” Peridot asked, unfamiliar with the concept.

“That’s what I said, and that’s what we’re gonna do!” Jeff proclaimed, snapping his fingers. “Untie our dear bride-to-be here, boys! She can’t hold the bouquet with her hands strapped behind her back like that!”

At this, several gnomes scurried forward and did just that, finally releasing Peridot from her bonds and allowing her to properly stand once more. “Alright, fine,” she huffed, wiggling her previously restrained fingers around a bit to get used to using them again. “Let’s get this ‘wedding’ thing over with as quickly as possible so can hurry up and get those abysmal Crystal Clods already!”

“You got it, sweetheart!” Jeff winked to the green Gem. “All we gotta do is set up the podium and find a good rabbit to serve as our priest, then we marry every single one of us off to you, then there’s the reception, not to mention the post-reception party, followed by the pre-honeymoon party, the honeymoon itself, and then the post-honeymoon party. So I’d say all that chalks up to be somewhere in the ballpark of… 287 days? Roughly?”

“278 days?!” Peridot repeated, absolutely aghast.

“Roughly,” Jeff reiterated.

“I don’t have that kind of time to wait!” the green Gem snapped fiercely. “This planet isn’t even going to exist anymore 278 days from now! I need to attack those Crystal Gems and get back to Homeworld now!”

“Hey, that’s not our problem, toots,” Jeff shrugged apathetically. “You wanna be our queen? Then you gotta go through all the right processes and ceremonies, whether you like it or not.”

“I think I have a better idea,” Peridot scowled, pulling herself up to her full height as she towered over a majority of the gnomes. “I say, we call this pointless ‘wedding’ of yours off, you instant me as your leader and we strike the Crystal Gems’ base immediately! Or else!” To show that she was serious with this demand, the green Gem swiftly formed her hands into her blaster, taking aim at the entire group of gnomes as she charged her laser up to fire at any instant.

In light of the clear danger they were in under the green Gem, the gnomes took pause, all of them looking to Jeff for word on what to do next. And fortunately for them, their leader had a plan, as always. “Well, when you put it like that…” he smiled, snapping his fingers once more as the other gnomes quickly followed his unspoken command. “I think maybe we have an even better idea…”

“Oh yeah?” Peridot scoffed, still keeping her blaster aimed at the gnomes, even as they began to congregate close together. “And what exactly might this ‘better’ idea be, you miniature, half-wit, overly-forward bunch of clo-”

The green Gem instantly cut herself off as the gnomes finished pulling themselves together, all too quickly rising to a height far greater than her own. Together, the gnomes had indeed done as they had described, forming a massive “super” gnome of sorts, composed of the entirety of their number and controlled by Jeff from atop its exceedingly high up head.

“You were saying, toots?” he asked, sending a smug grin down to Peridot far below him.

Though the green Gem’s expression was awash in shock at the imposing monster before her, she still had enough wits about her to put a finger up and take in a breath, almost as if she was going to say something. Inevitably though, she didn’t, instead wisely opting to flee from this newfound danger almost as soon as she saw it. Swiftly turning on her one remaining heel, Peridot sprinted (or rather hurriedly limped) off in the opposite direction, knowing she was far too outnumbered and overpowered to try and fight back against the gnomes with just her blaster alone.

“Wha—Hey! Get back here and be our wife!” Jeff shouted, commanding the mass of gnomes to run after her. Peridot nearly lost her footing from the rumbling steps of the gnome monster behind her, but even so, she maintained her footing and hurried out of the cave, not even caring about her direction whatsoever as she ran and only occasionally looked back at the beast still in hot pursuit.

“C’mon! Don’t you play hard to get too!” Jeff goaded somewhat angrily from his high perch. “I promise, as soon as we get done with all of the parties and honeymoons and everything else, then we’ll go get that sweet revenge of yours.”

“If you had your way, then by time we’d actually get around to doing that, this entire planet and everything on it would be gone!” Peridot shouted back just as fiercely, though as she did, she was quick to notice that the gnomes were quickly starting to gain on her. In fact, they were getting so close that their large, collective hand soon started to swipe at her in an attempt to capture her once more, though the green Gem narrowly managed to dodge their grasp.

After another such closer call, Peridot decided that her lack of two feet was really getting her nowhere fast in this frantic escape. Which was why, as the gnomes went in to try and grab her once more, the green Gem quickly threw her arm up, her fingers starting to spin rapidly until they were moving fast enough to propel her upwards. Peridot kept herself small and scarce as she helicoptered up and away from the gnomes, finally getting higher than they were, though it was clear that they didn’t intend on giving up so soon.

“Whoa, hold on there! You’re not getting away that easily!” Jeff exclaimed, commanding the gnome monster to point directly at the fleeing green Gem. At this, several smaller gnomes shot out from the monster’s hands, their sharp, pointed hats all aimed directly at Peridot as she sailed through the air. With a panicked gasp, the green Gem haphazardly maneuvered herself out of the path of most of them, save for the one gnome that managed to directly strike her in her other shoulder, sending her flying completely haywire all over the place.

“Ow!” Peridot cried, sparing a brief glance back at the gnomes as she tried her best to right herself. “Leave me alone, you puny pebbles!”

“Not until you agree to be our queen!” Jeff shot back just as harshly. “We seriously need one, in case you haven’t noticed! Can’t you see how desperate we are for love?!”

“A bit too desperate if you ask me!” the green Gem retorted, only to be struck by yet another gnome. This one hit her directly in the back, and it was enough to send her plummeting, her helicopter fingers no longer able to sustain her as she fell directly into the thick of the woods, crying out fearfully all the while. Fortunately, as she landed, several tree branches cushioned her fall on the way down, though only barely as she still hit all of them before finally dropping into a dark, crowded clearing. Still, Peridot barely even had a moment to gather her bearings as the gnome monster’s booming footsteps echoed through the surrounding area, accompanied by Jeff’s rather grating, very persistent call.

“Future wife, are you still out here?!” he shouted from some unknown distance away as Peridot rushed to hide herself out of sight behind the nearest tree. “If you come out, we’ll let you pick our honeymoon spot! Well, as long as its not some beach or something. Sand and gnome beards to not mix!”

Peridot waited for what seemed like ages, not even daring to move an inch until the gnome monster’s rumbling sounds finally faded off into the distance. At last, the green Gem finally gave herself time to let out a sigh of relief over her daring escape, barely even noticing the several twigs and leaves sticking out of her hair, the multiple rips and tears on her bodysuit, or the copious dents in her lower arms and legs.

“Ugh… stupid gnomes…” Peridot grumbled to herself as she set off once more, limping more now than ever. “Stupid unicorns… stupid leprecorn… stupid everything!” The green Gem let out another severely aggravated sigh as she brushed some of the dirt off her chest, though clearly there was still plenty left everywhere else. “Nothing on this worthless planet makes any sense! Its inhabitants, from the humans, to the Crystal Gems, to… whatever kind of creatures I’ve been encountering lately, are all completely infuriating! It will be a relief to watch the Cluster destroy this miserable place once and for all so I’ll never have to so much as think about it ever again!”

As frustrated as the green Gem currently was, she still forced herself to regain some semblance of calm as she remembered exactly what her current objective was: to find the Crystal Gems and make them pay for trapping her on this loathed planet in the first place. In her eyes, this feat alone would make all of the annoyance and toil she had been through to get there more than worth it. And yes, as she continued along in pursuit of this vindictive scheme, she gradually began to realize something alarming: the events of her capture at the hands of the gnome as well as the trajectory of her sudden, disastrous landing more than likely sent her far off the path the unicorns had set her on towards the Crystal Gems’ base. Which meant…

“I’m lost…” Peridot stopped short, her jaw dropping in disbelief as she looked around the dark woods surrounding her. Night had finally fallen in full, casting everything in dark, ominous shadows and leaving only the pale green light that the gemstone on her forehead had to act as a guide. Other than that, there were no makers telling her where to go, no signs indicating any sort of direction, no leads to off of whatsoever. And as the green Gem came to grips with that, a certain sort of despair, one that she decided to express in the only way she really knew how: through a log.

“L-log date 6 20 2… a-again…” she began uneasily, her screen materializing as she slowly moved to lean against a nearby tree. “I’m… still no closer to getting off this awful planet than I was before and… and to be honest, I’m not really sure how things could get any worse than they currently are now. I’ve wandered around this infernal forested biome for what seems like eons and all I have to show for it are a bunch of encounters with several strange, hostile creatures who, as far as I’m concerned, shouldn’t even exist, much less function as they do!”

Peridot paused for a moment, glancing up at the woods around her just as she barely spotted what she thought was a shadow, though it disappeared much too quick for her to even catch. Somewhere in the far off distance, a group of manly, rowdy shouts rose up from a group of manotaurs on the hunt, though the green Gem had no intention of going to see them for herself. In fact, she hardly even cared to acknowledge the large, rather majestic creature that was something of an elegant mix between an owl and a dragon that suddenly glided through the clearing swiftly and silently before disappearing back into the forest. Really, after the harrowing day she’d just had, it’d take a lot more than that to startle or surprise her at this point.

Of course, the dragon-owl deciding to land its droppings squarely on her shoulder as it passed by did catch her off guard quite a bit.

“Ugh…” Peridot groaned, flicking the unsavory substance off of her. “Its official. I hate everything about this planet. Still…” She sighed sadly as she brought up an image of Homeworld on her touch screen. “It seems as though I’m doomed just as much as everything else here. Why am I even kidding myself at this point? I’m never going to make it back to Homeworld in time and its all because of those enraging, interloping, despicable Crystal Gems! I would have never even came to this planet in the first place if not for their constant interference with my mission! But even I could have never guessed that they’d crash my ship and trap me here to die along with the rest of them! This is all just a game to them, and it’s a game they’ve clearly won since I’ve done just about everything in my power to leave the Earth and return home! But… nothing’s worked…”

Peridot’s finger screen split at this, her log officially coming to an end, though she still continued talking, more to herself than anyone else as she slowly slumped down to sit against the side of the tree. “My Diamond’s not coming to get me… No one is… I really am stuck here, for however long the Earth has left… And its time I finally accept that. Its hopeless… I’m finished…” The green Gem was unable to deny the hint of genuine grief mixed with fear as she leaned her head back against the tree so she could get a proper look at the clear night sky above her. She was almost on the verge of tears, completely and absolutely dejected, especially as she caught sight of the distant star she knew to be Homeworld, which, as she sat there, alone and sad in the dark, seemed so very close, but was ultimately still so very far away. “Still…” she said to herself, a single tear finally falling out from under her visor as she submitted herself to her eventual dark fate. “What I wouldn’t give to be there again, even just one final time…”

Peridot continued to stare up at that far off star for quite some time, the nighttime noises of the forest filling in for her despondent silence. For the briefest of moments, the green Gem almost felt herself relax amidst the sounds of the easy breeze wafting through the trees, the crickets chirping somewhere in the distance, and the glistening radiance of the stars up above. However, this relative calm was not destined to last. For just as Peridot was almost starting to enjoy it, she happened to steal a glance down at the ground below her, only to gasp in shock to realize that the color had all but drained from it. This odd phenomena continued as greyscale filled all of her other immediate surroundings, from the trees, to the grass, to even the night sky above. Startled, by this, the green Gem quickly hopped to her feet, spinning around to investigate the now colorless tree behind her. She didn’t get to look for very long however, before she was caught off guard once again, this time by a simple tap on her shoulder. Not wanting to take any more chances with any potentially hostile magical creatures, Peridot swiftly turned back around, her fingers already formed into her blaster as she faced whatever was behind her. Yet, as for exactly what was behind her was perhaps the very last thing she could have ever expected.

“Heya, Greenie, how ya doin’!?” the bizarre triangular being greeted with a bright salute as he floated apace away from her. “Wait, I don’t need to ask you that since I’ve basically been watching you all day, and lemme tell you, based on what I’ve seen, the answer to that question is: not too hot. Ha!”

Needless to say that Peridot was easily caught off guard by this being’s sudden and bewildering appearance, which was why she maintained her blaster as she gave him a cold, scrutinizing glare. “And who exactly are you supposed to be?”

“Who am I?” the dream demon repeated in faux offence. “I’m none other than the one and only Bill Cipher, duh!”

“…Who?” Peridot asked, still staying on the defensive, despite Bill’s apparently upbeat tone.

“Come on, Greenie, I’m shocked you’ve never heard of me,” Bill remarked as he easily circled the green Gem. “After all, we’ve got a LOT in common!”

“Oh really?” Peridot asked, eyeing him suspiciously. “Like what, exactly?”

“Well, for starters, there’s that incredibly handsome shape we both have going on,” the demon quipped, snapping his fingers to outline a glow around Peridot’s triangular hair.

“Are you referring to the uniformly angular shape of my hair?” she asked, picking a stray twig out of it.

“Sure am! Looks mighty familiar, doesn’t it?” Bill asked, pointing to his own triangular form.

“Hm… from a purely geometric standpoint, I suppose,” Peridot mused, gradually lowering her blaster. “Though even so, that’s highly coincidental considering you’re a… whatever it is you are.”

“I’ll tell you what I am, Greenie, I’m the answer to all your problems!” the demon exclaimed, gliding up a bit higher with a showy flair.

“I… highly doubt that…” the green Gem remarked, quite unimpressed by Bill’s chipper presentation thus far. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go wallow in misery elsewhere.” Peridot prepared to press on, refusing to let herself get distracted by another bothersome pest from the surrounding area given her last several aggravating encounters. However, Bill apparently wasn’t content to simply let her move past him so easily, which was why he somehow managed to shift her position entirely on simply a whim, knocking her back right to where she had started in what seemed like an instant. “W-what the-?!”

“Hey, what’s the rush, Greenie?” Bill asked, pulling his cane out of nothingness as he spun it around playfully. “Its not like the Earth’s about to explode from the inside out or anything, is it? Oh wait, yeah it is!”

“Wha-” Peridot gasped, her eyes wide with surprise as the demon laughed callously over this grim fact. “H-how do you know about-”

“Please, Greenie, I know just about everything there is to know about this boring blob of dirt,” Bill rolled his eye. “Including that big, bad ‘geowepon’ your dear ol’ Diamond shoved into its crust centuries ago! Heck, its been down there so long that I’m surprised its not common knowledge by now, but then again, most of the meatskins on this planet are about as dense as they are easy to maim.”

“Ugh, tell me about it…” the green Gem groaned, still exasperated by her previous encounters.

“Still, kid, you’re so ready to just run off that haven’t even given me a chance to mention the OTHER thing the two of us have in common.”

“And that would be…?”

“We both wanna see a certain group of Crystal Chumps shattered right out of existence, if you know what I mean…”

Peridot stilled at this, her surprise growing even more upon hearing such a bold, yet relatable claim. A claim that she couldn’t help but seek a follow up on, even if she had no idea where that follow up might lead. “Let me get this straight,” she began evenly enough. “You want to get rid of those impertinent Crystal Clods too? Why?”

“Isn’t is obvious?” Bill asked with a hint of genuine aggravation towards the Gems in his tone. “Because they’re a bunch of pain in the neck goody-two-shoes! Not to mention… Well, let’s just say there’s this special little… trinket one of their human pals has that I’d really like to get my hands on. Most of those chumps don’t even know about it yet, but the minute they find out about it, it’ll make getting it ten times as hard for me.”

“Hm, sort of sounds like my escape pod that they rudely decided to steal for themselves without any kind of thought or reason whatsoever,” Peridot noted, not particularly caring too much about whatever the specific ‘trinket’ Bill was describing actually was.

“Yeah, just like that!” the demon exclaimed with a thumbs up. “Good news is, I’ve cooked up the PERFECT plan to finally crush those Gems like the bugs they are once and for all. And, since we’re both barking up the same tree with that whole goal, Greenie, I decided I might as well see if you wanted to jump in on that plan with me and knock them and their little human buddies out for good. After all, its like I always say; two triangles are better than one!”

“That is an… interesting proposal…” Peridot said, genuinely intrigued by the thought of teaming up with someone who already had a concrete plan in mind to get rid of her continual foes. “What exactly did you have in mind?”

“Well, I can’t tell you all the juicy details JUST yet…” Bill said, his tone ever cheerful, even as a hint of malice began to enter it. “But what I CAN say is that if everything goes off without a hitch, not only will we wipe those ‘dangerous rebels’ off the face of the soon-to-be non-existent Earth, but I’ll make sure you have a one-way ticket, all expenses paid ticket back to Homeworld, Greenie!”

“WHAT?!” Peridot gasped, completely floored by such incredible news. “Y-you can get me back to Homeworld?!”

“Yep! And it’d be real easy too!” the demon assured cordially. “All I’d need from you is your help in snuffing out those Crystal Chumps, which, hey! You were gonna do anyway, right? So, its like you’ll be killing two birds with one stone! Or, I guess in an analogy, you’d actually understand, Greenie, it’d be like killing a bunch of stupid pests then making it back home just in the nick of time to watch this planet go KABOOM!” At this, a loud, violent explosion seemed to rattle the entire clearing, throwing Peridot to the ground as she shook her head to clear it from the now settling din.

“A-as… interesting as all that sounds,” Peridot began, slowly and shakily rising to stand again. “I’d still like to know what specific methods we’d be using to obliterate those traitors before simply diving right in.”

“Ah, you don’t need to worry you’re pretty little triangular head about any of that, kid, I got it all covered!” Bill said with a nonchalant wave of his hand. “Honestly, you sound a whole lot like Yellow with all those questions about ‘battle plans’ and ‘tactics’, like anyone’s ever needed anything like that to win before!”

“Y-Yellow?!” Peridot asked, once again startled by the demon’s boldness. “As in… my Diamond?”

“The one and only!” the demon exclaimed blithely. “Then again, its not really hard to confuse any of them. I mean, they’re all conveniently color-coded, plus there’s only four of them. Well, technically there’s only three since one of them isn’t really much of ANYTHING nowadays, but ya know what I mean.”

“And what precisely would someone like you know about my Diamond?!” the green Gem asked in a huff, knowing that certainly, the illustrious Yellow Diamond would never associate herself with someone as roughish and uncouth as Bill came across.

“Oh, a ton!” Bill said as though it was obvious. “Me and Yellow go WAY back, back to before you were even a pile of unformed minerals in the ground, Greenie! She trusts me for just about everything, you know. I’m sorta like her eye in the sky when it comes to this hunk of rock here. Both literally and figuratively!” The demon laughed as his singular eye flashed brightly, illuminating the entire clearing for a brief moment before retuning it back to colorless darkness.

“B-but that doesn’t make any sense!” Peridot shook her head dismissively. “My Diamond is flawless, a pillar of order and reason. Two things that a being like you clearly doesn’t possess.”

“Aw, thanks, Greenie!” Bill quipped, genuinely flattered.

“A-and besides! There’s no possible way you could be in alliance with my Diamond,” the green Gem staunchly concluded. “Because if you were working with my Diamond, then certainly her loyal court, which includes me would have heard about it! Which, for the record, up until now, I certainly haven’t.”

“Which is totally your loss, kid, I’m a pretty interesting guy to know!” the demon chuckled, amused by Peridot’s frustration. “Still, you’d be pretty darn surprised by all the things Yellow’s never told any of you lower level grunts. Guess it goes to prove that even Diamonds aren’t completely transparent, ironically enough.”

“But-”

“Eh, but enough about boring ol’ Yellow,” Bill interjected quickly. “Let’s get back to talking about our plan to turn those Crystal Gems into Crystal DUST. Now, this is probably the best bargain you’re gonna get anywhere around here, Greenie, what with the whole free ride back to Homeworld and everything bundled right in, so what do ya say?” The demon extended his hand at this, alight with bright blue fire as Peridot took an anxious step back from it on instinct alone. “Would you rather be stuck here on this miserable rock until it’s finally wiped clean outta this galaxy or do you wanna get even with those Chumps and finally get back to where you’re supposed to be? Its all up to you…”

At this stark, heavy offer, Peridot naturally hesitated, her gaze captivated by the azure flames before her as she took a moment to carefully mull it all over. What Bill was promising her sounded like an absolute dream come true: a chance to take out the Crystal Gems and to get off this doomed planet all in one fell, easy swoop. On that simple aspect alone, the green Gem was almost very inclined to take this deal right then and there, no questions asked. And yet… she couldn’t help but wonder exactly what the demon intended on doing on a practical level to off the Gems and send her home. By all accounts, he had been very terse and vague in his explanations, not giving her very much at all to go off of save for mere promises alone. Promises that she didn’t even know would carry any actual weight at all.

And then, of course, there was the matter that Bill was apparently in league with her Diamond. It was a bold, audacious claim, one that Peridot wasn’t sure if she completely believed, given how stern and solitary Yellow Diamond usually came across as to her. Certainly, a being as radiant, powerful, and wise as a Diamond wouldn’t need the aid of someone as rowdy, ill-mannered, and chaotic as a dream demon. And certainly, if her Diamond wouldn’t need the help of a demon, then Peridot saw no reason as to why she’d need to seek his help out either. Which was why, despite all of the lofty promises Bill had made to her, she ultimately, coldly gave him her answer.

“I… think I’ll make do on my own, if its all the same to you,” the green Gem said, pulling her hand away from the one the demon had presented to her.

“Well, hey then, no worries!” Bill retracted his own hand, his manner surprisingly still bright and amicable, despite this rejection. “After all, if anyone’s equipped enough to handle a bunch of dull ol’ ‘clods’ like those Crystal Chumps, then it’s you, Greenie!”

“Wait… really?” Peridot asked, surprised by the demon’s apparent confidence in her.

“Really!” the demon confirmed. “But still, if you DO find yourself needing a hand in breaking a few of those rebellious space rocks, then my offer’s always on the table! All you gotta do is ASK.” Bill’s tone turned startling dark and ominous at this, enough to elicit a small gasp of surprise out of Peridot before he quickly resumed his usually cheery ways. “Oh, by the way! Here’s a free tip: that fancy temple of theirs is actually right through that bunch of trees over there.” He pointed out a thicket only a few feet away from them. “Figured I’d give you a decent head start on that good old fashioned ‘revenge’ of yours, right?”

“O-oh… well, um… that’s… much appreciated,” the green Gem nodded gruffly, unsure of how to properly thank the demon for such genuinely valuable intel.

“Anything for you, Greenie!” Bill exclaimed as he rose high into the sky above Peridot. “Well, I gotta run. Still, I have a feeling I’ll be seeing you again VERY soon. Just remember, that if you’re ever in a pinch, just call your good buddy Bill to bail you out. I’ll be there in a SNAP!”

With a swift snap of his fingers, the demon completely disappeared and the world instantly reverted back to its usual nighttime color pallet. Peridot gasped by the suddenness of it all, still largely bewildered by her rather bizarre encounter with Bill alone. Still, out of all the strange creatures she had encountered over the past several hours, he was by far the least irritating. And that was saying something, since the demon was, in fact, rather annoying on his own.

Still, the green Gem cautiously decided to heed his directions, making her way over to the small break in the nearby trees in the hopes that it would finally lead her to the Gems’ base. All the while, however, she couldn’t help but wonder exactly what might have transpired if she really had taken Bill up on his mysterious offer. Would he have really gotten her back to Homeworld, or would he have just ultimately left her high and dry like everyone else around these parts seemed to have done? Peridot supposed she’d never really get a chance to know, though she did hold onto the fact that Bill’s offer did still apparently stand. Not that she thought she’d ever really need to take him up on it but still, it was the thought that counted.

At the same time, the green Gem couldn’t really get the thought of the demon and her Diamond working together out of her mind either. The thought seemed completely preposterous and out of the question, yet some small part of her still wondered if it could somehow be true. Yellow Diamond was a reliable, logical leader, yes, but she was also known to be somewhat distant from her Gems, ruling over them with a tight, authoritarian fist, but never really engaging with too many of them on a personal level. Perhaps, as a ruler, she could harbor a few secrets or alliances she kept hidden out of her court’s sight for their own good, but why then would she hide her dealings with someone like Bill away? What would even be the point of that? Why wouldn’t Homeworld, or at the very least her own Gems, be allotted to such simple, unassuming information?

These were all questions that Peridot had no answers to, nor did she believe she needed to have answers to them because she was still quite confident in the fact that Bill had completely fabricated such an alliance from the start. Crafted it as a way to draw her into agreeing to his terms, so to speak. It was a clever argument to be sure, one that the green Gem nearly fell for, but even then she was much too wise to be fully duped by it.

Still, Peridot was quick to put such worrying thoughts aside as she finally peered through the trees, a wide, excited, admittedly relieved smile spreading across her face at what she saw. Though a small, ramshackle shack rested in the darkness immediately before her, just up the hill from it was a structure she instantly recognized from her initial landing on Earth weeks ago: the Crystal Gems’ temple itself, standing tall and proud over the surrounding area, completely unsuspecting of the intruder it was about to receive.

“Yes!” Peridot cheered to herself in an triumphant whisper, knowing that her long, aggravating struggles were finally, finally about to come to an end. She was going to eradicate the Crystal Gems and their human allies like the simple nuisances that they were, she was going to repair the Homeworld warp, and she was going to make it back to Homeworld at long, long last. And most of all, she was going to do it all on her own, without any help from unicorns, gnomes, or demons alike. “Prepare yourself, you Crystal Clods… Because I’m about to settle this, once and for all…”

#jen writes #universe falls #peridot in the wild #peridot #unicorns #gnomes #leprecorn #bill cipher #gravity falls #steven universe #crossover #au #fanfic #keyword is clod

11 notes · View notes

libr-tumbl-alternative · 6 years

Link

Depending on your search history and interests, there is a decent chance you've come across a number of articles written and edited across Wikipedia and RationalWiki and many other MediaWiki's on the web that were curated by the infamous Oliver D Smith, aka Darryl L. Smith aka Dan Skeptic, aka Krom, aka Atlantid, aka Anglopyramidologist, aka GoblinFace and aka a huge list of sockpuppet editing accounts spread across Wikipedia, Rationalwiki, Encyclopedia Dramatica, and only Google knows what else. Oliver has been featured extensively on Wikipedia We Have a Problem primarily because he is one of my well known online stalkers and harassers I encountered while developing this case study on Wikipedia consensus building. Oliver D Smith has engaged in a four-year-long campaign to target and attack me, first as a method of editor suppression on Wikipedia, where he was working with a small group of skeptic activists, a small but influential subculture on Wikipedia, under an editing account Dan skeptic (contribs). ‎ Dan Skeptic was actually more of a minor actor in the harassment that I received on Wikipedia during the Sheldrake wiki war in 2013, but his participation increased heavily immediately thereafter, as he was the creator of a number of other attack articles written about me, first on RationalWiki, then Encyclopedia Dramatica, then KiwiFarms. It took about two years to finally track and expose Oliver D. Smith in this case study. I wasn't even aware of his participation until I received an email from someone who proposed to me a curious and peculiar threat; delete your articles on GoblinFace/Atlantid or, as he linked to a discussion thread he created, under my real name, arguing against biological evolution in favor of creationism, he would create 500 more just like these on the internet. By these of course he meant impersonations, one of Oliver's key attack strategies on MediaWiki's against other editors he encounters and conflicts with. Oliver D. Smith was impersonating me as a creationist so, he claimed, he could add this to my RationalWiki profile which he noted, already listed me as a promoter of pseudoscience, which he inserted as well. Since combining me with either of these labels is completely removed from who I am, including what I do professionally and what I think privately, it was obvious to me that I was dealing with someone who did not have a firm grip on reality. Disturbing to experience, however, was his ability to publish his own peculiar reality, of which I was a key enemy, across MediaWiki's on the web about me, and then game those articles for peak Google performance in search. More so than any other Wikipedia or RationalWiki editor, Mr. Smith has numerous times crossed the line from online harassment to criminal levels of slander and behaviors. His actions were so extreme at one point that I filed a report with the FBI, a nonworkable path to recourse that was my only option as this individual, a resident of the UK, not the US, continued to target me on the internet. “You idiots don’t seem to realize that I made the Viharo and Jon Donnis pages here, then set up a whole load of other people and turned them against each other, as well as at Rationalwiki. I also added Viharo’s page at Rationalwiki.” – RationalWiki editor “Krom”, one of dozens of accounts operated by the Smith brothers, to sysops at Encyclopedia Dramatica, 2016 From my experience with him, it is likely that his psychology rather than any true ideology is what guides him. His editing history spans everything from white nationalism and neo-nazi MediaWiki MetaPedia, to articles on both the paranormal and skepticism, to left-wing MediaWiki RationalWiki to articles across the web the cover ancient Egypt, pseudoscience, anti-natalism, TombRaider, and whatever ideology he needs to adapt to become accepted by one community to target another. Over two hundred Wikipedia accounts have been discovered on the Smith sock farm, some claiming to be his brother Darryl who is claiming he is responsible, then denying it, and back and forth with layers of confusion, deception all over the web, including impersonating women or other editors Oliver D Smith conflicts with. The only controversial thing I have ever done is create a Rationalwiki article on Rome Viharo. MediaWiki editor skeptic, aka Darryl L Smith, aka Oliver D Smith, defending their actions on Encyclopedia Dramatica. Oliver, in a manner virtually identical to our Twitter president, has a habitual practice of deception. This practice may be more of a result of delusion. Oliver D. Smith believes he is a white knight, a hero on the internet who attacks his foes based on his own pizzagate interpretation of reality, that is, one that is disconnected from consensual reality but relies on emotional reactions to keywords he believes he finds on the web about his targets. Once Oliver finds a keyword written on the web by his targets, he then takes that emotionally charged keyword back to online communities and attempts to build personal armies, developing an emotional and distorted consensus so these platforms will not only join in the attacks but give Oliver a safe harbor to continue them. The strategies Oliver D. Smith employs to accomplish this extend far beyond him just editing articles on various wikis around the web about his targets, they are also entail online impersonations of other users editing accounts, which not only deflects blame from Oliver, but places blame on other users which then riles up communities against each other on the web. This was one of the factors that has contributed to it taking Wikipedia, We Have a Problem over two years to finally identify the author of significant harassment and targeting that I've received. This is how highly toxic digital wildfires and troll farms are able to build communities like PizzaGate or QAnon. Oliver D. Smith shows us how to do that too. His attacks actually show the trail these type of campaigns create on the web. Once an internet user is emotionally charged with any given keyword, they throw critical thinking skills out the window and fail to investigate the flag-waving of sources which misrepresent original context. What is curious about Oliver, however - is his ability to do this with communities that identify as skeptic activists on the internet, communities like RationalWiki and thought leaders of skeptic Wikipedia editing like Tim Farley, communities that would appear to be more critical. Oliver's abuses on the internet I believe help to expose a remarkable vulnerability of the web that all of us are more susceptible to than we are aware. Oliver is taking advantage of a flaw, deeply rooted in human nature and software design flaw. Oliver Smith always claims his innocence, and always confesses his guilt. Oliver D. Smith may be unaware of the very extreme contradictions he makes attempting to cover his tracks across MediaWikis, which are glaringly apparent to anyone who encounters him. I never met you on Wikipedia 4 years ago, that was one of my brothers. So you targeted my whole family out of a grudge of a silly Wikipedia dispute/ban. Oliver D. Smith, in a direct email to me, on file, 2017 Because he both confesses and denies all of his activity on the web, everything Oliver D. Smith says is highly suspicious. There is no brother involved. I made it all up to mislead people stalking me, or trying to investigate who I was (this goes back to when I had trolls following me 24/7 on other websites like Encylopedia Dramatica, Kiwi Farms etc). There's plenty of other false information I fed them and I found the situation rather funny since I fooled most, or all these stalkers. Oliver D. Smith, in a direct email to me, on file, 2018 Whatever guides Oliver D Smith, whether a brother who is deeply involved with Wikipedia editing and certain skeptic activist groups or an out of balance psychology, also has a significant influence on the web via Google search, and this is the tragedy of MediaWiki software. MediaWiki software, the engine the drives Wikipedia communities and dozens of more platforms around the web, in combination with Google search, provides significant global influence via individuals like this, along with the troll farms and agenda operators who collaborate with Oliver and those like him. The other problem with MediaWiki software is there is nothing that can be done about it, at all. That is really what Wikipedia, We Have a Problem validates, the utter failure of all of these communities, platforms, institutions, and even the legal system to do anything about this significant problem. While, in principle, online misinformation, targeted harassment and manipulation can find a solution on Facebook or Twitter, on MediaWiki's - there is literally no solution available. Since the participation is small, even insignificant in comparison to harassment occurring on large platforms of users like Reddit or Twitter, this problem does not obtain much mainstream attention. Pass the buck open source architecture MediaWiki's, as developed in open source by the WikiMedia foundation, put all of the responsibility of the management of the platforms on the users who edit them. As in a legally binding contract. This includes all paths to recourse for any misinformation, slander, fake news, attacks, etc. As long as the community who participates is well-intentioned, rational, and have integrity with the principles of the platform, this isn't a problem. Unfortunately, the web is anything but that. MediaWiki's are one of the few last artifacts of the early, idealistic web - so it is not surprising that the zeal mentioned in many early TED talks (my own included) opined on the great value of software that anyone could edit would easily overlook the social reality that occurs, a silent policy of not everyone should. Before we even address the inherent flaws of the software itself, there apparently is a very high appeal of MediaWikis by those who are on the spectrum with autism, aspergers, or social anxiety disorders. Within Wikipedia's own editing culture, Wikipedia itself is referred to as a honey pot for editors on the spectrum. Autistics can be remarkable editors who are incredibly diligent. The result of this, however, is a community that is unlikely to have much social empathy, a trait often lacking in those with the condition. This naturally exasperates the problem that MediaWikis carry with them. All MediaWiki's empower the users to restrict or police other users activities, within certain boundaries. This means the software that anyone can edit is synonymous with the software that anyone can police, and MediaWiki's give users tools which block, ban, or restrict other users participation. Therefore, MediaWiki software's core design flaw lay in how it creates competition instead of collaboration. This makes MediaWiki's even more problematic - while the software design increases user competition, the rules that govern the community usually instruct collaboration, a contradiction that makes it impossible for a community to responsibly manage itself without a high degree of social empathy. Really? Wikipedia is now being leveraged as the good cop of the internet on Facebook and YouTube, creating more tensions to the prime real estate value to agenda groups and the inherent tensions of the design. I'm all for spontaneous collaboration on the web, but if Wikipedia is the only solution Silicon Valley is offering us in defense of fake news and online misinformation, the web could be lost forever. This tension created by the design flaw in MediaWiki has created dozens of various ideological spin-offs of Wikipedia around the web, all using the same software with slight modifications, including the commercial version of MediaWiki, Wikia. Google's own search algorithm also rewards not just Wikipedia with a high ranking, but any MediaWiki platform. MediaWiki platforms are very easy to optimize for search engine results, and likely in most search returns internet users discover. Oliver D Smith, MediaWiki master. I'm vague on the details, but apparently, Oliver has finally been banned from RationalWiki. It took RationalWiki six years to finally boot him off of their platform. Six years of Oliver using RationalWiki as a platform to target anyone he considered an enemy. Six years of influence on global search results all over the world. After six years, is the web finally free of Oliver D Smith abusing media wikis and Google search? Booted from RationalWiki, Oliver found a new home on another MediaWiki fansite called RationalWiki,Wiki. Since MediaWiki's create a copy of themselves via spats within the previous community, RationalWiki now has RationalWiki, Wiki on Wikia and Oliver D Smith once again as an editor. The unique distinction in this MediaWiki is that it is Wikia, a paid advertising commercial platform MediaWiki site. Like Wikipedia and MediaWiki software, Jimbo Wales commercially successful Wikia was meant to accommodate, and commercialize, niche communities and the advertisers that want to appeal directly to them. It's Wikipedia with a business model. More than just a software platform that anyone can edit, Wikia is a MediaWiki that anyone can publish, simply by creating an account. The RationalWikiWiki is literally a fan wiki that covers all the RationalWiki articles that Oliver edited on RationalWiki, now primarily edited by Oliver who now just writes under his real name, Oliver D Smith - including a RationalWikiWiki article about himself, defending himself from his RationalWiki ban and many events detailed in this study. Oliver uses RationalWikiWiki to continue to attack all of his enemies all over again, of which Wikipedia, We Have a Problem and yours truly is uniquely featured. And you can see that he is the sole author of this latest attack article from the editing history. Wikipedia has blocked over 200 hundred of Oliver's editing accounts, yet it is easy for him to use a fresh IP, and continue where he left off. If that doesn't work, he goes over to RationalWiki, or Encylopedia Dramatica, to continue his obsessions. Even though it took six years to finally remove him from those platforms, he has finally found a new MediaWiki home on Wikia, one that has all the benefits of a high Google search ranking, advertising dollars, and both an algorithm and a set of rules that will allow him to continue for as long as he wants. Welcome to the very real problem of MediaWiki software and the poster boy who teaches all of us developing solutions for the web all the ways these platforms can be readily abused by just about anyone, for any reason - and without any path to recourse. . Powered by AutoBlogger.co

#software #web #technology

1 note · View note

gdelgiproducer · 6 years

Text

DOTV AU: An Exercise in Alternate History (Part V)

Parts I, II, III, and IV offer more detailed context. (To briefly sum up why these posts are happening: alt history – as in sci fi, not “alternative facts” – buff, one day got the idea that DOTV could have turned out hella different if Jim Steinman looked for a star lead in other places, decided to reason out how that might work.) This is still getting a good response, so I’m gonna keep the train rolling.

Parts of the AU timeline established so far: instead of stopping at recording two songs from Whistle Down the Wind on a greatest hits compilation, Meat Loaf wound up taking more of an interest in Steinman’s new theater work than he did in our timeline, and through a series of circumstances found himself volunteering to play Krolock in the impending DOTV when Jim poured out his woes to him about needing to find some sort of star to attract investors. At a loss for any better ideas, Jim accepted Meat’s impulsive proposal, but not without resistance from his manager, David Sonenberg, who proposed Michael Crawford as an alternate candidate. Through quick thinking on Meat’s part, and inspiration on Jim’s, Crawford left the room accepting an entirely different role than he walked in hoping to get, leaving Krolock still open for Meat. There was a brief speed bump, when Meat disliked Jim’s English script for the show, but after meeting with the original German author Michael Kunze and convincing Jim to compromise, things were on the road to being back on track... at least until 9/11 occurred. Following a brief hiatus, everyone involved is meeting to re-assess their options.

Continuing the alternate DOTV timeline:

February 2002: After completing the Night of the Proms tour and taking a holiday break, Meat Loaf requests a meeting with co-star Michael Crawford, composer Jim Steinman, co-author Michael Kunze, and the other creatives on DOTV to assess where things are at. Obviously, people have other commitments, so the creative team may not shape up exactly the same as initially planned, but at least they’ll see who’s still coming along for the ride and get a bead on where the show is at. A dinner is planned at Café Carlyle, a cabaret space housed within the hotel of the same name, on the Upper East Side of NYC.

The dinner begins as any dinner involving Jim begins: with Steinman’s ordering disorder on display, and his manager, David Sonenberg, smiting his own forehead so hard it turns purple. Imagine the headwaiter’s surprise when he takes everyone’s order and hears Jim say, “For starters, we’ll have the entire left half, plus two each of the chicken hash, Dover sole, and seafood salad.” “Excuse me, sir... the entire left half of the menu?” “That’s correct. And for the second course, I’ll have another order of the roasted halibut and the filet mignon. What looks good to you guys?” Meat is not at all surprised; with Jim, you get everything and then everything else. “And for dessert, sir?” says the headwaiter, anticipating the massive tip. “Well, why don’t you bring us some New York cheesecake. And, heck, how about an order of the chocolate opera cake? And profiteroles. For everyone to share.” Meat can only laugh at the incredulous expressions of everyone who doesn’t already know Jim. He orders the table a round of fifty dollar Côtes du Rhône. This’ll be a long one.

First order of business: is the new script ready? “Not quite,” says Jim without even missing a bite. Meat rolls his eyes; typical Jim. His method is seduction. Jim has ideas for new stuff; he doesn’t always have the results to back them up. If he can talk you into it, he can do it -- eventually. “Don’t roll your eyes at me, it’s a cut and paste job anyway. I do have a synopsis so everyone can see what the show will be like. Rest assured, everything’s back the way you want it.” Steinman gestures to Sonenberg, who passes pages around the table.

We now pause to read said synopsis:

ACT ONE

Some time in the late 19th century, Professor Abronsius, a rather intensely wacky vampire killer, stands trial before the Governors of the University of Heidelberg. He has made a mockery of the school’s good name with his “ridiculous writings and insane theories,” insisting that he can prove vampires (and other supernatural creatures) actually do exist. For this “crime against science,” he is sent packing by his colleagues. His assistant Alfred, handsome if sweetly dim, with an ardent and Byronic underbelly, resolutely stands by his mentor and guide. Now gifted with -- however unwelcome -- free time, they set off on an excursion, hoping to prove the professor’s theory correct, and become lost in a blinding snowstorm (Overture).

We are now in a dark forest, three nights before Halloween, near a remote Transylvanian village somewhere in the Carpathians. Sarah, the beautiful teenage daughter of the local innkeeper, is out picking mushrooms with her easily frightened friends when they come upon an abandoned graveyard in a clearing. To reassure them all is well, she says a prayer (Angels Arise). Suddenly, a pack of very cool young vampires appears out of the mist, dancing with rapturous abandon (God Has Left the Building). Sarah is entranced as a coffin rises from the ground containing the mesmerizing and extremely cool Count Von Krolock, an immortal suitor whose call she finds strangely irresistible. The Count introduces himself to Sarah in a most charming way, sings to her seductively telling her of another world (Original Sin), and promises to return for her at the total eclipse of the moon. The lure of the night is strong, as is the promised deliverance from the mundane world she knows.

Back in the village, at the inn, we meet Sarah’s father, Chagal, his long suffering wife, Rebecca, and his beautiful voluptuous chambermaid, Magda, whom he spends most of his free time lusting after, much to Rebecca's disdain. Together with the local villagers, they demonstrate that nothing perks up men like wine, women and song -- and Garlic. Into the midst of the hustle and bustle burst two strangers, the first in twenty years: Abronsius and Alfred, who have nearly frozen to death in the nearby woods. Although the villagers deny any knowledge of vampires in the proximity, the professor cannot be fooled and becomes increasingly suspicious.

After exploring the rooms upstairs in which they are staying, Alfred meets Sarah. He is instantly smitten by her and vice versa, but having noticed the attraction between them, Chagal, very protective of his child, literally boards-up the door separating them (Don’t Leave Daddy). Since the budding passion of the young is highly flammable his solution proves to be as effective as spit on a forest fire. Unable to sleep, Alfred and Sarah sing of their newly awakened desire for each other (There’s Never Been a Night Like This), but they are not alone in their yearning: Chagal sneaks away from Rebecca -- who swiftly knocks Abronsius on the noggin in a case of mistaken identity -- to pay an unwelcome visit to Magda, and the Count returns to invite Sarah to a grand ball at his castle, offering her a chance to make her wildest dreams a reality, an opportunity to quench her thirst for more (The Invitation). How can any small-time girl resist?

The next day, the idyll of a winter mid-afternoon (Everything’s Fair) is broken when Abronsius witnesses a small business exchange between Chagal and Koukol, a hideous hunchback who lives somewhere in the woods. He inquires about the odd fellow, but Chagal refuses to discuss the matter. This does not deter the professor (Logic). For every question there is an answer and no truth that defies understanding -- or so he believes.

But no law rules the human heart and desire is quite an immeasurable emotion. Alfred also offers Sarah a way out: he begs her to run off and make a new start with him (Braver Than We Are). Too little, too late. Unbeknownst to Alfred, Krolock has sent a gift for Sarah -- a pair of red boots and a vision. Alfred leaves Sarah alone outside for a moment and she puts on the boots; she has a fantastic reverie about dancing with vampires (Red Boots Ballet) and can no longer control herself, try though she might (Say a Prayer). Torn between Alfred and the Count, Sarah runs off to Krolock’s castle, pursued by Chagal, who is in turn pursued by Rebecca and Magda who are concerned for his safety, who are in turn followed by Alfred and Abronsius, reasoning that they will be shown the way to the Count’s lair.

At the giant castle in the woods, they are greeted by watchful eyes in the darkness (Something to Kill (Our Time)), and by the mysterious Krolock and his flamboyant son, Herbert, who is instantly attracted to Alfred (Bless the Night). In the same breath, Krolock taunts Alfred and invites the two men into his domain (Come With Me) and the two reluctantly accept his invitation.

ACT TWO

In the great hall of the castle, Sarah reconciles what was once just a fantasy with her new reality, seduced by and embracing her inevitable indoctrination to this family (Vampires in Love (Total Eclipse of the Heart)). Sarah is entranced as Krolock makes his way down the staircase toward her. What has long been just a notion inside her is now a man before her. She willingly offers him her throat, although he resists the urge to bite her there and then.

Meanwhile, given a room, Abronsius sleeps soundly while Alfred is tormented by a nightmare (Carpe Noctem) that is a peculiar reflection of reality. In the dream he is a creature of the night. The following morning Alfred bravely swears that above fear and beyond doubt he will stay there in the hope of saving her (For Sarah).

But Abronsius is more concerned with capturing the Count and his son as specimens to prove his theory. Alfred and the professor make their way to the crypt, hoping to locate the two vampires, but instead they encounter the freshly dead Chagal. Before Abronsius can think of something else, Alfred hears what he believes to be Sarah singing and the hapless duo flee the crypt just as Rebecca and Magda arrive. Encountering Chagal's bitten body, Rebecca grieves while Magda gloats (Death Is Such an Odd Thing). In death she finds him to be far more bearable than in life. Chagal wakes-up and bites them both.

Truly, love is in the air. As Chagal cements his eternity with the women he loves in tow, Alfred has a close encounter with Herbert, who has set his sights on him. The smitten Herbert waltzes with an unwilling Alfred singing a song of love and longing (When Love Is Inside You). Herbert’s attempt to draw blood from the young man is thwarted by quick thinking, but to add insult to injury, Alfred then finds Sarah bathing in preparation of that evening’s ball. He begs her to flee with him, but his plea falls on deaf ears -- she is dying to go.

Meanwhile, Abronsius’ search through the castle has taken him to the library, which he enthusiastically discovers is stocked with every book ever written (Books, Books). The Count, who initially pretends admiration for the professor and offers him eternal life, confronts him, taking the opportunity to boast that the the battle for Alfred’s soul is already complete and that he is the victor.

To his horror, Abronsius, joined by Alfred, watches as, in throngs, the vampires crawl from their coffins, cursing the redundancy of their existence and eager to devour (Eternity). At the same moment, stung by Abronsius’ rejection, Count Von Krolock laments the truth of his being (Confession of a Vampire) and makes a bleak prediction: before the turn of the next millennium mankind, overcome by greed, will know only one god -- the god of appetite.

Speaking of appetite, the moment has arrived! The Count and his brethren are eager to proceed (The Ball: Never Be Enough). Sarah is presented while a disguised professor and Alfred wait for an opportunity to rescue her -- a chance that unfortunately comes only after she is willfully and gloriously bitten. In the midst of the climactic vampire dance (The Minuet), they take hold of Sarah and run.

Stopping in the woods to rest, Alfred once more professes his love to Sarah and the two lovers embrace, singing of their born-again freedom (Braver Than We Are (Reprise)). He believes all is well until the second she sinks her teeth into his neck. Once bitten the couple takes off to begin a life that will know no end. Meanwhile, oblivious to what is happening around him, Professor Abronsius revels over the information he has unearthed about the existence of vampires, unaware that their numbers have grown. As the Reign of the Undead begins, everybody somehow manages to find happiness... Transylvania-style (The Dance of the Vampires).

Back to our regularly scheduled program:

Meat is forced to admit Jim’s right. Based solely on this synopsis, it would be a cut-and-paste job, and it does answer all of the objections he had. Moving the Heidelberg scene to the top of the show reorients things just enough so that at least the focus is shared between Alfred and Sarah. On top of that, every song is where it should be, “Is Nothing Sacred” has been cut from Act II (it appeared in both earlier versions as a duet between Alfred and Sarah lamenting the loss of their love, but for once everyone was in agreement that it slowed the show down and there was no way to make it work), and no climactic shape-shifting transformation to be found (Jim has never been one to hide spoilers). As soon as the actual script is put together, this could be a working product.

Crawford is momentarily rattled by the Alfred-and-Abronsius prologue. “Bit like Phantom to start with foreshadowing and then plunge in?” he mutters under his breath. But Meat counters, with a grin: “I think it’s more like the opening of Psycho, wouldn’t ya say, Jim?” Meat, of course, knows what’s coming. Jim has seen Psycho 23 times; he thinks that if you’re learning about film, you don’t have to go beyond Psycho, because you can watch it a thousand times and find something new each time. All he has to do is settle in and let Jim talk Crawford’s ear off: “Psycho begins, if you watch it, with a long shot of Arizona, a satellite view of the whole state of Arizona, or at least the city of Phoenix. Long shot of the whole city. And then, the camera goes into one area. Then one block, and then one building, and then through the window of that building, to Janet Leigh and John Gavin in bed, nude, having sex. You start at an extreme distance, and it keeps getting closer and closer until it ends up where the story begins.”

Crawford is flummoxed. “...but... how is that...” Before he can get another word in edgewise, Jim is off on a stream-of-conscious flight of fancy: “Lost inside a blinding snowstorm, an innocent boy and a man of science... an unspoken certainty -- where something is shattered, something is breaking through... then their suspicions are proven correct... the wilds of Transylvania... the shadow of a dark knight looms large... you set up the hero first, and then right at the beginning, you need the big horror scene, like when the shark attacks the girl in Jaws, and then in the next scene everything is fine and you go on to tell the story.” Twenty minutes of free association from film to film later, his head spinning, Crawford stops Jim: “Jim, I, uh... I think I get it. Sounds grand. Let’s move on, shall we?” Meat, with a grin: “Waiter? More Côtes du Rhône for my English friend here.”

It’s Sonenberg’s turn to speak about the financial picture, and unfortunately, he is pretty much the bearer of bad news: “We’ve got nothing.” “What about your share of the investment?” Jim shoots back. “I raised my share, but that’s all I raised! Andrew Braunsberg threw in his share, too, but ours combined won’t bring you this show! This is gonna cost at least 12 million, it’s not like either of us has a small fortune tucked away! Do you know how much it will cost for that fucking coffin to rocket out the floor? And let’s say we keep the designs from Europe, which -- by the way -- we can’t afford to do even if we get investors, who’s paying for the six-ton graveyard to come down from fifty feet in the air? Shows cost four times as much on Broadway as they do in Europe! And this is before we get into the fact that we had readings and workshops that didn’t come cheap, even though we had other people shouldering the burden with us. When they walked...” “When they walked, I did what you said! You said we needed stars to boost the box office -- we have two of them! You said we needed the show to have more of a balance between horror and comedy -- we’re nearly there! We’ve done readings, we’ve done workshops, there should be a list of interested investors by now! You’re telling me I followed every instruction you gave me and we couldn’t attract producers?!” “Jim, that happens. The odds of failure in any show biz endeavor are astronomical. You know this. I have this conversation with you time and time again.” “So basically you called this meeting to raise our hopes and then tell us it’s a wash, is that it?!”

Meat can’t bear to see Jim like this. He never could. Jim is always within steps of achieving his dream and never quite getting there, and it’s usually due to Sonenberg’s interference. “Guys, guys, before things get too heated and we say stuff we might regret... look at who is at this table. We’ve got a major arena rocker, two Grammy-winning songwriters, we’ve got the biggest box office star in musical theater, we have a music manager with a list of clients as big as my ass. We know promoters, theater owners, rich people with cash to burn, we make more contacts shaking hands at industry parties than we know what to do with. Between all of us, we’ve got to be able to rustle up some investment coin!��

Meat turns to Crawford. “Michael, I know you were up for my part for, like, twenty seconds. Were you bringing any investors to the table for that?” “Now that you mention it, yes, there were a handful.” “Call them. Explain the situation. Tell them we’re looking to cut costs and bring this show in tight, so they can look at our numbers, offer suggestions for a way forward.”

He swivels in his seat to the other Michael at the table. “Mr. Kunze, was there any interest from other American producers before the show started on this path?” “We had this husband-and-wife couple who were major producers book tickets to opening night in Vienna, but they canceled last minute.” “Any chance you remember who they are?” Sonenberg cuts in: “Barry and Fran Weissler, but...” “The Weisslers? As in the Weisslers who did Chicago? The license-to-print-money Weisslers? We need a meeting with them ASAP.”

Meat now focuses on Sonenberg. “Look, Jim is pissed at you right now, and understandably so, but we need all hands on deck. David, is there anybody you can think of that might come to the table?” “Well... I am about to have lunch with Jerry Weintraub about a film project. You win an Oscar, they all come knocking.” “I remember Jerry, he started in talent management and concert promotion. Theater is a good way for him to combine those interests. He may not bite, but bring up the project anyway.”

Jim weakly tosses in, his engines beginning to rev again: “I could talk to Leonard Soloway. He’s never been major on Broadway, mainly a house or company manager, but he’s produced before, and he’s been looking to move back into that sector. He was very interested in this at the reading last April. He called it a gem.” “The worst that he can say is no, and we’re already starting a list to go down, so give him a buzz,” Meat says.

“As for me, I’m gonna talk to Michael Cohl.” Sonenberg is skeptical: “The concert promoter?” “He’s handled packages as big as this, you know who he’s worked with, it’s practically an encyclopedia of the business. Maybe he wants to move into producing.” “He also wants to put his hand in the till. He’s a chiseler. A bunch of managers complained about him a few years back; he was working this scheme where he told their clients playing this festival in Toronto that there was a sales tax that was coming out of their pay, and a gate charge reflected in the ticket price. Festival’s exempt from that tax and the organization that runs it has no gate charge. He was putting hundreds of thousands in his pocket.” “So,” interrupts Jim, “you’re saying he has money to spend, and he knows how to cut corners and get more.” “Oh sure, Jim, because we want to line up with a whiff of anything illegal on a high risk investment. I’m just saying, if we bring him on, there have to be stringent safeguards. We’ll need to double- and triple-check every transaction that comes through him.” “Well,” says Meat, momentarily unable to check his inner self-control, “he can’t do any worse than the advice I was getting in 1981.” “Oh sure, dig up that dead horse and start beating it again!” Sonenberg fires back.

Before the conversation can get out of control, Meat somehow manages to rein himself in: “Alright, look, let’s not get off the subject at hand here. We thought things were hopeless only moments ago, but now we have a list of... Michael, how many investors were interested again?” “Three.” “Okay, and that plus Cohl, Jerry, Leonard, and the Weisslers -- not to mention Braunsberg and David -- puts us at 10, if everyone signs on. Even if some of them say no, we should still be farther ahead than we were on the producing front. This project is not dead.”

“It might as well be,” Sonenberg grouses. “John Caird’s off attending to other commitments, Ezralow’s doing a Josh Groban TV special, and we need a new set of designs. You tell me where we’re gonna find a whole new creative team.” “David, I don’t have the highest opinion of you, but I know you’re not stupid. You’re not seriously implying that this production only looked into one person for each position, right? Surely we can look around at a few people and get some opinions.” “Besides,” Jim chimes in, “the director problem is already solved. I was co-directing, now all I have to do is call Barry [Keating, Jim’s right-hand man and a Tony-nominated composer in his own right] in to be my assistant and we’ll whip this into shape.”

A deathly silence descends upon the table. Meat is brave enough to be the first to speak: “Actually, I think we need to interview some directors, too.” “Why go to the trouble? I have it under control.” For once, Sonenberg agrees with Meat and says so: “You think you have it under control. Things have been pretty serious in this conversation so far, let’s be real right now: you’ve never directed a musical this big in your life. You and Barry are fine for a workshop, but this is a spectacular with a lot of moving elements.” “I can’t believe I’m hearing this! Half the show in Vienna I had to talk Polanski into doing. Or did it behind his back. A lot! He had a totally different vision.” “Jim, giving notes and making contributions that people agree with is not the same thing as directing.” “I’ve directed music videos!” “You’ve story-boarded music videos.” “What about that one I directed for Bonnie that was nominated for seven Billboard Video Awards?” “Did it win any?!” Meat once again has to halt the argument brewing: “Look, Jim, we need to be serious about this if you want it to work. It can’t hurt to just talk to a few other people. We’re not committing to them.” Steinman is momentarily silenced, but his sour expression betrays he’s still displeased with the present turn of events.

“Now, as for the choreographer...” Meat says. Jim perks up again: “Barry could...” Sonenberg slams his fist on the table: “You shut up or you lose a toe! Go on, Meat.” “Alright, we’re not opening till October, and that means we’re not starting in earnest until August. That’s after the Tony Awards. Let’s see if any real talent emerges this season, and if worse comes to worst, we’ll just hire whoever won.” “That doesn’t solve our problem with the design team, though. Even if we get them signed by June or July, that’s not nearly enough time to design, approve, and execute a whole show.” “Well, we can start talking to people now, and maybe they’ll even give us some clues about a choreographer or director, if there’s someone they’ve worked with who they really liked.” At a loss for any other way to proceed, Sonenberg nods gravely.

At meeting’s end, everyone is in concurrence on the next course of action: actually finish the script, schmooze with potential investors or producers, and put together a new creative team. Preferably not all at the same time, but with the crunch on, they’ll do whatever needs to be done.

Didn’t expect this to be so short or focus on one event, but our heroes have lots of ground to cover. Catch you next time!

#tanz der vampire #Taniec Wampirow #Vampyyrien tanssi #tanzblr #tanz network #tanz discourse #Dance of the Vampires #le bal des vampires #Vampirok Balja #bal vampirov #vampiiride tants #vampiru no dansu #Jim Steinman #Roman Polanski #Michael Kunze #Michael Crawford #meat loaf #alternate universe

2 notes · View notes