#real cow not fake

[cowdragons]

today's fit :]

#love wearing tanks underneath things cause then i get to be home and sport the hot tank and jeans look for the rest of the night its awesome #real cow not fake #feeling. v good abt myself and the world today :]

[girlboyburger]

its ur blog youre entitled to as many selfies as you want

u know what. ur right. fish earrings be upon ye

#old photo cause im abt to bathe my cat and the internet is not ready for my cat bathing fit #(literally just underwear and a hairtye) #also for clarifications sake #<--- he needs a bath because he's tremendously dirty and oily and clearly itchy as hell #not bathing him for no reason. he is suffering smelly style #real cow not fake #takes my main's selfie tag

[gremlinsbooty]

Megurine Anniversary countdown. (Chinese New Year style since its coming soon) 🎆🏮

This is sort of design if she had a chinese voicebank + symbol of the year when she was released (2009 - Year of the Cow/Ox).

#Those horns are not real but a part of headband #Luka's fake horns they were supposed to be big like an ancient cows had. But decided not to do so #Blue gems on horns and tentacles print on qipao are supposed to be a tribute to her octopus counterpart - Tako Luka #vocaloid #megurine luka #luka megurine #megurine luka countdown #my art #Digital art #chinese astrology #vocaloid art #vocaart #Vocaloid fanart

[bumpscosity]

Betsie and her little brother Bam! I need to figure out a different plan for her clothes, I thought this dress would give more of a farm girl look than it does LMAO. I’m debating on wether or not to get her cowboy boots and maybe a bow for one of her horns 👀 I’m gonna find Bam a denim jacket from somewhere :)

#sassy speaks #babw #also in case anyone was wondering what normal dresses look like on the longhorn #this is listed as a shirt dress but it’s pretty much just a dress #the neckline sits a little lower than I’d like but the length of the dress is actually alright! #that’s what I was most worried abt #i wish I liked the dress on her more tbh it’s just not giving what I wanted it to #i still have to skip their tags too although since they’re cows ig ear tags are appropriate #actually now that I’m thinking abt it an earring or two on betsie would look pretty cool #i wouldnt wanna puncture them for real but get some fake ones from like aliexpress or somewhere else cheap? #i dunno I’ll have to look into that #anyways I LOVE both the plushes themselves they’re adorable

[boy-above]

i'm going to the state fair tomorrow i'm gonna eat so much good food

#see the butter cow i guess #which by the way they've had the same butter cow design for a few years now instead of switching it up every year #and i've started to have my suspicions that they decided to dupe us with a fake butter cow bc they didn't want to make real ones anymore

[southislandwren]

did tumblr just decide to have a 1999 day or is there like an anniversary? anyway. weird bad day today, i think fred cat got run over bc I didn't see him during milking and he usually comes to be held, and then when i was leaving i saw an orange cat in the road. bummer dude :(

#also a cow decided to pass her placenta IN THE FUCKING BARN #so i had to scrape up this nasty gooey bloody snotty lookin placenta and mucus #and it was SO GROSS i like actually gagged for real. not one of my silly on-purpose fake gags. #okay im tired. gonna have some pasta salad i think and then take a nap #diary post

[derpinette]

i am dying from lactose deficiency

#coping by eating chocolates even tho i greatly would prefer eating anything else made of real dairy not this fake yellow crap #that tastes nothing like milk or cheese or butter #protip if you ever go to asia DO NOT order any food with cheese as the centerpiece unless mozarella. if yellow DO NOT GET IT #it tastes awful i thought it was just my country but apparently this is the same everywhere tastes like weirdly sweet vomit #nothing like cheese whatsoever absolutely putrid. feeling starved. cos i am due to being a poorfag #&even it i were not i would still starve because i live in a village in the middle of nowhere so it is either jungle river food or #fake microplastic food or no food at all so i choose no food at all Sorry about it ! well i eat mangos which are actually delicious #if sweet if not it tastes horrible &as long as the mango is not too stringy/hairy i can eat loads of them #anyway i was right i WOULD die without dairy that is the answer to the query ( haha ) ( sorry... ) #i am disintegrating into dust canny even drink water because you will get diseases if you drink from the tap #am not posh enough to afford plastic bottles #also i know the reason why this is with the fake horrible dairy is cos like most of asia is lactose intolerant (i did not carry that gene) #( i would say thank God but i would be demolishing wheels of edam still even if i was ) #&also they do not have milk cows. imagine living here &growing up here i kiss my palm front &back that i was not this is hell #also there are no local tomato paste brand this is actually almost like a torture simulation made specifically for me #where would i be without dairy #now i know the answer. starved

[motherednature]

ayyy new icon change <3

#`` anyway. #|| ⚘ EMERGE FROM THE WOOD O PROPHET. ( ooc ) #`` a small secret in the tags: she does not realize it at ALL but! #`` she does like to be spoiled !!!! #`` she'll deny it till the cows come home but being wined and dined for Real like. makes her feel special !!! #`` and she'll mostly deny advances bc she assumes everyone is trying to use her for her power / get information out of her / play a joke #`` and she can see Right Through people's fake charm so.

[industrialgender]

i will never stop having beef with that cow blogger

#how fake cow fans look when real farmers walk in....

[cowdragons]

had to see my family today (bad) but felt cute in this dress (good)

#i like having my hair up. it looks nice and it feels nice and i should do it more #real cow not fake

[girlboyburger]

various notebook sketches!

aximili, taur truesona (tauresona?), plush milo, and beach fit milo :]

#gotta wait to post the pokemon ych's till there's more done so in the meantime. some sketches #all of these and waaaaaaaaay more available like right when i draw them on patreonnnn #also can u believe this is the first time i've drawn aximili #fake animorphs fan #V__V #oc: tobi #oc: milo #taur #furry #dragon #cow #sketch #doodle #my art #fursona #anthro #furry fandom #plush #i drew beach milo shortly after getting cowkini in real and i 1000000% reccomend a cowkini to everyone forever. there is nothing better

[wandaluvstacos]

now that I'm writing my gay cowboy story ebay is showing me targeted content

#the one is for mounting your cowboy hat in your truck #why this is a necessity I do not know #also why is a fake cow more expensive than a real one

[medicinemane]

Seriously though, I think the only way to actually majorly cut back on raising animals for meat (not get rid of, I don't think you'll ever totally get rid of it) is researching a good quality, sustainable, cheap lab grown meat

I think a lot of people would be glad to not have animals have to die to feed them, I think a lot of people would be glad to have to pay less to get just as filled up (once again, assume quality is there), I think a lot of people depend on meat but wouldn't mind switching if there was a better alternative

Wouldn't go away entirely, and wouldn't go away all at once. There would still be people who'd be willing to pay more for farm raised meat

What hopefully would happen is that we'd stop breeding as many animals for slaughter, and that the factory farms would see it as cheaper to invest in lab grown than it was to have feed lots

Of course this is an idea, it's not a solid plan that thinks about every contingency, but I really am serious

You want to eliminate meat, you need to figure out a way to give people meat that doesn't involve killing animals

#and you can't just be saying 'alright we'll give them bugs' cause clearly people don't transition to that #and you can't be giving them some kind of proteins slurry that has identical ingredients to meat #you need something that texturally and taste wise is the same as say a hamburger or a steak or a chicken breast #which probably means finding a way to lab grow that muscle tissue in a way that makes it similar #which I'm not a scientist so I can't tell you how to do; but I'm telling you that's your goal if you want to stop animal slaughter #cause it's just a fact that people are gonna keep eating meat; you can make plans that include idealized people #it's sort of like how communism works great till you start actually having to make it happen #I mean I'm sure there's other solutions; but you have to find something you can make happen and people won't resist #and 'impossible burgers' ain't it cause I'd straight up rather have chickpeas or whatever; it's not an upgrade over just beans #at least black bean patties aren't trying to be anything they're not; which is why I'd honestly rather have one of those over a fake meat #that and fake meat is so expensive #anyway... that's my thoughts no one asked for on this #I just drive by feed lots every time I head to town and I end up thinking about this a lot because of it #out here all the cows are in fields and the close I get to places big enough to have mcdonalds the more feedlots I see #american agriculture is a mess; but it's real damn important and the only option is to fix it; not to try and just throw it out

[i-want-men-i-cant-have]

✮ imagine kisaki dating you just to be closer to hina, your best friend. you knew her since you could remember and kisaki since cram school. you didn't have a real opinion on him and just thought he was the shy, studious type- nothing really special to write home about.

✮ but you were surprised when he confessed a little after hina started talking about a boy named takemichi and how he saved her. you don’t know why he confessed at all. you couldn't even think of a single reason. you never spoke; it was just you standing behind hina, waiting for her to finish complimenting him so you could go get popsicles at the park.

✮ the confession seemed fake- even something a little you could pick up on. it was like a robot, and not in the way he was confessing to himself in the mirror so many times; it was just dry. the confession had no heart to it. he wasn't even blushing and looking down, flickering his eye to you and the ground and spilling out, “i like like you!” it was just bland. so bland, in fact, you forgot every single word of it even while listening to it.

✮ but you were also young and thought a boyfriend would make you cooler, so you accepted it. also because you didn’t want to be left behind from hina and her ever-growing relationship with takemichi.

✮ when you asked him why he liked you a few weeks into the relationship, he said something about how you were like a plant and didn't get on his nerves. you didn't talk to him for a week after that.

✮ but when middle school started is when you were questioning the relationship. sure, it was weird to date someone and then move into middle school. the new personalities and new friend groups would naturally cause conflicts, but you were determined to keep on dating the guy. so determined it clouded your thoughts on the real underlying reason he even wanted to date you. you also didn't want to question if he liked you just to have a repeat of the plant comment.

✮ you were still friends with hina in middle school, going from a friend to a best friend if takemichi didn't already fit that role with a boyfriend. you were jealous of him, spending so much time with her after school. you didn’t know if that was the real reason or maybe jealous of their relationship. kisaki looked at you and spent time with you, yes, but it all seemed so artificial. like some alien trying to blend into the real world disguised as a cow with purple spots in a field of grass.

✮ it all changed, or spiraled when he met some guy, oniinii, osanii, osanai? he said you have your friends and he can have his, so you shouldn't judge, so you didn’t. you let him be. after all, relationships are built on trust and understanding.

✮ now the only time he wants to hang out is when you make an offside comment about how hina was going to be there or you were hanging out with hina. you thought it was just a way for him to be less awkward around you- a third person to brighten up the mood and keep the conversation from coming to an awkward pause. still, when you mentioned other names, he just hummed and continued to study for an upcoming test while you sat on his bed staring at the tv.

✮ after about a month of this, you were a little more than mad. you wanted to stay in the relationship for a reason you couldn’t pin down. you wanted to think it was because you liked him and his calming presence. you shoved down the feeling of being stubborn; a year plus relationship with someone wasn't a lot, but to you, it was. you’ve stuck with him for a year; he’s the first and only guy to confess to you. then you pushed down the feeling of not wanting to be alone, just having friends- nothing special like a boyfriend in sight.

✮ so you started shoving more and more dates in his face if one date a week was bombarding. you just wanted a simple lunch date with him on the weekend, drink something nice, and maybe eat a sweet with him and talk about your week.

✮ but he would slowly start to ditch it more and more as the weeks passed. the first and second week were the best because he actually showed up and stayed. you would carry the conversation, assuming he was awkward, but it was overall a nice time- calm and comfortable.

✮ but he would slowly slip farther and farther from your date plans. you didn’t want to question it the first few times he left as he said osanai needed him and you assumed he was just tutoring the poor guy. you didn't want to judge people based on their appearance, an appearance you had yet to see but from the sound of it he could be a delinquent. besides, kisaki was leaving money to pay for his and maybe your meal if you didn’t talk a lot. yet as the weeks passed, your thoughts of the tutoring switched to your boyfriend getting bullied by the gang member you only know the name of.

✮ kisaki did catch onto your worry and he told you not to worry. he had told you osanai was his friend. he had told you osanai needed some help with homework. he had told you him and osanai needed to finish a last-minute project. excuses, excuses and more excuses.

✮ now the only dates you even get are the spur-of-the-moment ones which you force him to go on. even then, he leaves early, leaving more and more cash on the table each time to cover the bill.

✮ and then came hanma. you remembered that man's name the first time you heard it. you hated the way he looked at you. he had this look as if to tell you he knew so much more than you. like he knew something you didn't. not to mention his laugh whenever you left the room. your room. they would talk and discuss whatever teenagers talk about in your room, food crumbs on your bed left by the new boy.

✮ your boyfriend and his new replacement for osanai even used kisaki's room. you know this from kisaki telling you randomly, as if to diffuse your anger after a long day. but then hanma said he liked the vibe of yours so they used it more. you had a feeling he was just making up excuses so he could get a mini maid, you.

✮ you were afraid of the new replacement of osanai. you don’t even think kisaki remembers him, which pisses you off more than you’d like to admit because he spent more time with him than you.

✮ hanma got under your skin in more ways than one. he never got mad at you, never even raising a hand to hit you. it was that look he gave you that made you hate him so much, not the amount of time he spent with your boyfriend.

✮ when you yelled at the tall boy for smoking in your room, he laughed and told you not to worry about it so much because he did it out the window. you were on the verge of shoving him out the window if he kept up being himself.

✮ but the reason you probably hated hanma so much was that you had more of a relationship with him than the boy you were in a relationship with.

✮ now, you remember those dates kisaki left you for with osanai? now he was leaving with hanma every time he apologized quicker and quicker. each time he left, he would leave a wad of cash greater and greater than the last. you didn’t want to question the money; it was his life after all. it also would mostly cover the tab and sometimes leave you some extra money. one of these times you had enough left over to buy him a present, and with your anniversary coming up, you wanted to buy him something- it was his money after all.

✮ you liked the present having thought about it for a while now. you had decided on a mini pig phone charm, remembering how they were one of the smartest animals in that one documentary you watched a few years ago. you also remembered he didn’t like dumb people, something he brought up when you asked what the amount of money the tip would be. it was the perfect anniversary gift! so perfect in fact you bought a matching one so you could even remember you had a boyfriend!

✮ and a week after your anniversary when you walked into your room, you saw hanma sitting on your bed, looking at his phone while something played in the background. that little pig charm was dangling from his phone, almost taunting you. even that stupid pig was giving you the pitting look hanma would always give you, only this time hanma had a smile on his face watching as your eyes followed the animal sway side to side. side to side on your boyfriends best friends phone.

✮ when you ran to the bathroom to call hina, kisaki was knocking on the door a few minutes after you burst out of your own room. he sounded so… dissatisfied. so unfazed. like he was forced to do it, but you knew better than to believe it was hanma who did it. could it be? your boyfriend was actually trying to care for you? did he actually appreciate all that time you spent trying to love and care for him? did he love your date ideas? did he love you?

✮ no.

✮ no.

✮ no.

“can you stop crying? it’s annoying and i can’t focus.”

✮ tetta kisaki must die.

you slam opened the door to his face, watching as he stumbled back into the wall, paying no attention to the prying eyes and ears of hanma from down the hall. “shut up! just shut up already! why is it the one time i need you to not talk you finally open your mouth?! you’re always so quiet around me! i’m the person you're supposed to open up around, and you don't! the one time you should say something- anything nice to cheer me up, you tell me I'm annoying!”

“are you… breaking up with me?”

“what else do you expect?! i can’t call you by your first name! i get you something for our anniversary and you give it to your best friend! you never spend any time with me! you only want to spend time with hina, who has a boyfriend! i mean seriously, what’s wrong with you? have you just liked her this whole time!?” and with hanma's annoying laugh, it was solidified. he never even liked you in the first place. hanma knew. osanai probably knew. everyone knew but you.

“i hope you and hanma have a great life together kisaki.” you finally try and relax, keeping a steady breath looking down on your ex-boyfriend. “now get out. now.”

#｡˚꩜.no gunsHCs #random brain thought from this weeks episode #oniinii osanai #angst #x reader #kisaki x reader #kisaki tetta #kisaki is a bitch like always #kisaki x you #tokyo revengers x reader #tokyo revengers #tokyo rev #tokyo rev x reader #hanma x reader if you squint

[somuch-4-stardust]

GOIN FUCKING INSANE OVER THIS.

#THATS. RONNIE THE COW MY BIG BROTHER REAL NOT FAKE #AND THERES TOMMINNIT INCARNITE #AND THEN THE DOG IS ACTUALLY NAMED TOMMY #well. hes named teddy BUT #him with out the bandana is tommy and honestly what the fuck are you doing chanign the name just bc he puts on a bandana #im normla guys dont worry

[just-another-t-word-blog]

Real Laugh

A Hazbin Hotel fanfiction

Okay so, I saw this fanart done by @kalico-of-doom while scrolling around the other day and I ABSOLUTELY HAD TO WRITE A FANFIC ABOUT IT. Otherwise the nonsense deep in my bones will consume me.

As always on my blog, serving up fresh hot garbage semi regularly, ⚠️⚠️ this is in fact a tickle fic. Don’t like, don’t read. Thank you.

Summary: Alastor thinks he’s funny, Angel thinks he should give him something to laugh about.

Self satisfied laughter rang through the sitting room in the hotel foyer. Alastor nudged Angel with his elbow, trying (unsuccessfully) to get him to join in. He’d been rattling off puns for the better part of 20 minutes now, causing most of the hotel residents to vacate the contaminated area. Angel, however, was trapped.

Not physically trapped, mind you, but he didn’t want to leave the powerful demon alone, fearing he may get upset. A happy Alastor was a safe Alastor, and Angel was not about to open that can of worms.

“Oh! I have another one,” Alastor said, smiling widely. “If you don’t mind the crassness, of course. What is the difference between an unclean bus stop, and a lobster with breast implants?” Angel sighed, but engaged, resting his chin in his palm and looking at his companion. “I don’t know, what?”

“One is a crusty bus station, and the other is a busty crustacean!” The red head broke into another fit of laughter, sounding as if he was faking it for a radio audience. This joke at least earned a smile from Angel, albeit a reluctant one. Alastor trailed off, turning to face the porn star more fully. “Oh, come now, why so serious?” Angel shook his head, offering a more exaggerated smile. “Hey, I did laugh at that one.”

“You smiled, my dear arachnid. I’d say that’s hardly laughter.” Angel scoffed, dropping the grin. “Maybe if you were actually funny, I’d laugh.” Alastor raised an eyebrow. “I am funny.”

This earned a genuine laugh from Angel. “Considering that’s the funniest thing you’ve said all day, I disagree.” He said, crossing his top set of arms. “Well, I disagree as well.” Alastor said, crossing his legs. “I’ve been laughing this entire time, so I’d say I’m pretty funny.”

“Funny looking, maybe.” Angel retorted, mocking his signature grin. “Besides, all I’ve been hearing is your fakey laugh.”

Alastor turned again. “Fakey?” He placed a hand on his chest, as if wounded. “That is simply untrue and hurtful, Angel. My laugh is genuine.”

“There is no way in any circle of hell that you actually laugh like that.”

Alastor gave a half hearted chuckle at that. Angel pointed. “See? No one fucking laughs like that. You sound like you’re reading off of a queue card!” Alastors smile faltered, going a little crooked. The two sat in silence for a moment, stewing.

“How’s about this one?” Alastor chimed. “What do you call a cow with two legs?” Angel gave him a flat look. “Lean beef!” Just as Alastor finished, Angel lunged, tackling the radio demon to the floor. They struggled, Alastor letting out a surprised yelp as the younger demon grappled for dominance. Having a weight disadvantage, Angel attempted to straddle his waist, only managing a half perch with one leg trapped under him, fighting Alastors wild bucking. He leaned forward, grabbing his upper arms from the underside and pushing them up, pressing his body weight into the hold. Alastors ears bristled, antlers threatening to grow and spike. “Enough with the bad jokes. What do you say we see what your real laugh sounds like?” A confused look crossed Alastors eyes.

With another set of arms, Angel dug clawed fingers into his ribs. Alastor gasped, holding the breath. He looked up at Angel, signature grin wobbling, squeezing his eyes shut and throwing his head to the side. Then, Angel lightened his touch.

The dam broke.

A stream of high pitched giggles erupted from the radio demon. Unrestrained, uncontrolled.

But most shockingly, happy.

Angel felt his face tinge red, a fond smile forming. He carefully scribbled his nails up and down Alastors rib cage, following his squirming. “Now that is a real laugh.” He cooed. He shifted his hands downwards, focusing on the skin where Alastors ribs turned into his sides. The older demon squealed before falling into more frantic laughter. His one free leg flailed about, the heel of his shoe scraping against the floor. “Woah there,” Angel teased, picking up the pace on his scratching. “You’ll wear a hole in the carpet! Niftys going to have a fit.” Alastor worked up the gall to look him in the eye.

“Fuck you!”

Unfortunately, the giggles took all the venom from his voice. Angel laughed. “I don’t know what your deal is, but you don’t need to swear at me! It’s not like you’ve asked me to stop!” A deep red blush painted Alastors face, eyes going wide for a split second before melting into another round of laughter. He finally spoke. “No! No, please-“ his pleading cut off with a yelp, Angel having gave his sides an experimental squeeze. “Ah-ha!” Angel exclaimed. “Another spot, jeez you’re just sensitive everywhere, aren’t you?” Alastor stuttered, trying to get out that he absolutely was not. To be fair, English is hard, and it’s substantially harder when most of your breath is being used for other things.

Angel paused his ministrations and grinned, catching Alastors eye. He brought out his third set of arms.

Shit.

Alastor began to plead again, shaking his head frantically. He was unable to keep the mirth from his voice. “No! Please, no more! I’m sorry, okay? I’ll stop with the puns!” His eyes never left that extra set, watching the wiggling claws hovering over him. “Aww, the big bad radio demon is begging now?” Angels voice dripped with playful sarcasm. Suddenly, he lunged all four free hands down.

Alastor shrieked.

And nothing happened. Alastor peered up at Angel, confused. The porn star had broken into his own stream of cackling, hunched over with his hands hovering inches away from Alastors skin. “I didn’t even touch you! What in the hells was that noise?!” Alastor made an incredulous face, for once his signature grin absent. “That sound was absolutely adorable.” Angel said, wiping a tear from his eye. “Do it again?” He lunged again, this time making contact. One set of hands scribbling up and down his ribs and sides while the others dug into his tummy. Alastor shrieked again (much to his dismay), falling into loud belly laughter. He threw his head back, unable to control himself through the onslaught. He yanked on his restrained arms, kicked with his free leg, and tossed his head side to side. He finally had enough.

Two black tendrils appeared behind his tormenter, wrapping around his middle and dragging him backwards off of Alastor. Angel screamed in surprise, flailing at the sudden jolt. Alastors tendrils held Angel there on the floor while he caught his breath, slowly sitting up. He smoothed his hair with his hands, taking a few deep breaths before putting on his sinister smile. “That was fun and all,” he said, standing to make his way towards Angel, “but I think it’s time to give you a taste of your own medicine.”

————

Charlie watched with teary eyes and a soft smile as her friends played. Hidden just around the corner, she had stopped to make sure no one was getting hurt. She had heard Alastor screaming and came running, finding a much more welcome sight.

Knowing neither of them were used to positive touch, she let them horse around. It might be good for them, after all.

Maybe she should find a way to work this into a lesson plan.

#tickling #tickle fic #hazbin hotel angel dust #hazbin hotel alastor #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel fanfiction #hazbin hotel tickle #play fighting #fluff