#rachel baby this is the internet

[genericpuff]

Guess it's time for me to give the people what they asked for- (FP spoilers ahead)

Hey y'all, thanks for waiting while I got my ducks in a row to put this lil' essay together. Life's been doing a lot of 180's and I haven't had as many spoons to allocate to LO crit and all that good shit. And honestly, half the struggle of putting these essays together is finding screenshots to back up my claims, the episodes are so cluttered with nonsensically-woven events that it often has me scrolling through multiple episodes wondering if I'm crazy and if the panels I remember even exist.

BUT I just got back from work, Halloween's right around the corner, and I'm feeling like talking about one of the witchiest LO characters of all.

Yep, we're talking Daphne.

(note: there are FastPass spoilers in this essay!)

Now I know - some of y'all in the UnpopularLO and LO crit communities really like Daphne because of her willingness to hold Thanatos accountable. But if you'll give me a few paragraphs, ima tell you why she's just as if not more problematic than some of the go-to problematic characters in LO (AND ima blow your mind with something I don't think y'all have even realized but once you see it, you can't unsee it).

Daphne, like many characters in LO, started off relatively strong. Though her inclusion was a little random, I liked it as a way to show Persephone's past friends from the Mortal Realm (and also it just went to show how obsessed Apollo was with Persephone prior to the whole overthrowing-Zeus retcon).

But that's about where my compliments end because as her inclusion in the plot went on, I came to realize that Daphne is 1.) yet another character in the plot whose only purpose is to be a victim, 2.) unable to practice what she preaches and forces onto other characters, and 3.) yet another character who's used as a Therapy Speak stand-in for Rachel to try and project herself onto.

Let's get the obvious aside - yes, she's basically just another Persephone clone. And by extension that does, in a really messed up way, make her another Rachel clone, but instead of serving the DDLG function of satisfying Rachel's weird but obvious hyperfixation on being a sugar baby (i.e. Persephone) she instead serves the function of being a holier than thou "I'm gonna recite self-help advice that doesn't actually apply to your situation" person, in the same vein as people who use Twitter as their handbook for catch-all moral behavior. Y'know the word... virtue signalling.

I think where Daphne first started to fall apart for me was her first serious interaction with Thanatos, and this is one that gets called out a lot. Daphne is talking about her issues trying to get Apollo's validation, and Thanatos is mentioning how upset he is over Persephone getting special treatment from Hades, when we get THIS little schpeel:

I'm sorry to break it to y'all, but she is NOT being insightful here. She's basically telling Thanatos what Rachel wants to say to her audience - "stop caring so much that Hades is a creepy old man taking advantage of a 19 year old girl in a corporate setting where there's obvious special treatment at play - you're supposed to ship them dammit!"

Neither do we, Thanatos, neither do we.

But think about it. Thanatos is an employee of Hades, one we've found out through both previous and future interactions is often berated and mistreated by Hades (retconned to be Daddy Issues, okay Rachel...) whose job is literally affected by internships, the same way it is in most corporate settings. Internships are incredibly competitive positions, ESPECIALLY in massive mega-corporate settings like the one run by the King of the Dead. There were undoubtedly more people way more qualified for the job. Especially considering little miss Persephone doesn't even know how to operate a computer.

No, you're not required to already 'know' everything during an internship, but there's a reason most internships are only open to students with some kind of transcript showing they're familiar with the work that's being expected of them. Persephone has NONE of that here, AFAIK she's in school for biochem, she has no experience managing shades or even turning on a bloody computer, and here she is, hired to work a job that she has no connection to or interest in besides Hera telling her to (which idk why Hera's even able to do that considering it's not her domain) and the money. Which she shouldn't even be receiving but does because of Hades favoring her for being cute.

I've seen a myriad of Daphne-like defenses of this, stating "well Thanatos is the God of the Dead, his job isn't necessarily affected by Persephone so he shouldn't give a shit."

Except he literally sits next to her.

If you've ever worked in a corporate setting or any kind of industry that utilizes internship programs, you very likely also know what it's like to get an intern who's clearly been hired due to favoritism or nepotism or some other bullshit reason that has nothing to do with the job itself. Intern or not, the skill level of other employees can and will affect your own job. If Persephone fucks up, that could mean problems for Thanatos, Minthe, and other employees under Hades' care. And Thanatos/Minthe/etc. should NOT have to be responsible for carrying her weight or teaching her how to do a job that she should have been qualified for when she got picked.

And, by the way, we can give further credit to Thanatos being bothered by this because we know that Thanatos has been working for Hades for centuries and he's witnesses Hades hire not one, not two, but three employees simply due to being cute or because of some made-up superfluous reason that Hades came up with on the spot. That we know of. Needless to say, HADES HAS A HISTORY OF HIRING PEOPLE ON THE SPOT WITH ZERO REAL QUALIFICATIONS.

(there are some obvious parallels between Persephone and Minthe but we're not gonna get into that in this essay)

Needless to say, if you had a boss who treated you like a doormat despite ABSOLUTELY NEEDING YOU TO MAKE MONEY AT ALL (remember that Thanatos is LITERALLY the god of the dead and Hades is the equivalent of the dead's accountant, Thanatos is not someone who is considered subservient to Hades, if anyone is working for anyone, it's the other way around) and had a history of hiring and firing women for no reason other than wanting to bone them? You'd be pretty pissed too.

And yet here comes Daphne with the oh-so-insightful "wHy dO yOu cArE" schpeel straight from the Twitter Handbook of Life Advice as if Thanatos doesn't stand to have his own job or life compromised by Hades' shitty behavior. Thanatos is fully in the right for raising an eyebrow at his boss - and later established, his father figure - constantly hiring unqualified hot young women to help manage the Underworld.

So that alone had me kind of rolling my eyes at Daphne. She's trying to take some kind of moral high ground without taking a moment in the SLIGHTEST to understand where he's coming from or the context of his situation, even though it's literally what he does for her.

But that's just the tip of the iceberg. We ain't done, folks.

Shortly after this, Daphne shows a clear interest in Thanatos but makes it clear she doesn't wanna date him to "fix" him, she wants him to "get his shit together."

This on its own was fine, I'm all for having more female characters who don't date the first guy who gives them empathy.

But then almost IMMEDIATELY afterwards, basically by the time we see her next, she's dating him anyways and goes ahead and says this shit:

Daphne, which is it exactly? Do you have self-respect, or are you seriously gonna try and 'fix' him when you literally just said to him that you weren't gonna be responsible for that? Pick a lane, for the love of god.

Now, once was bad enough, but she literally does it again in Episode 217. When Hades shows up to speak to Thanatos (in an attempt to find Hypnos) and Thanatos obviously IMMEDIATELY writes him off (as he should!) and Daphne just ?? stomps on Thanatos' boundaries entirely? ??

AND THEN SHE HAS THE NERVE

TO TWITTER SPEAK AT HADES

TELLING HIM TO LISTEN AND VALUE THANATOS' FEELINGS

AS IF SHE'S NOT COMPLETELY DISMISSING THANATOS' FEELINGS JUST TO TAKE SOME SUPERFLUOUS MORAL HIGHGROUND-

Man, seriously, fuck Daphne. If Persephone is Rachel's messed up way of having some kink fantasy self-insert, then Daphne is Rachel's equally messed up way of having her moral high ground talk-at-the-audience self-insert.

But hoo boy, that brings us to Persephone, Hades, and the inversion of their relationship juxtaposed against Daphne and Thanatos. This is that "once you see it" thing y'all have been waiting for.

And that begins once you ask yourself, who do Daphne and Thanatos remind you of?

Oh. Right.

Pink nymph-like character from the Mortal Realm with flowing hair who acts like they're better than everyone else and constantly gets away with shitty behavior? Check.

Blue/grey cthonic god with dominion over the dead, mommy/daddy issues, and banging Minthe? Check.

Obvious gap in how the two people in the relationship are presented, treated, and behave in LO's class system compared to everyone around them? Check.

Borderline toxic relationship dynamic in which one plays the Daddy Dom role and another plays the Little Girl role? Oh yeah, check.

But in Daphne and Thanatos' case, it's inverted.

Persephone is presented as a naive, in-over-her-head character who gets into a relationship with someone who speaks on her behalf and makes a lot of decisions for her.

And here we have Thanatos, a naive, in-over-his-head character who gets into a relationship with someone who speaks on his behalf and makes decisions for him- oop.

Daphne and Thanatos may as well just be Rachel's excuse to keep drawing Persephone x Hades fluff without it being Persephone x Hades fluff.

Same petty, tone deaf virtue-signaling dialogue. Same pink x blue aesthetic. Same roles in the comic's established class system. Same character arc that's reduced to being nothing more than a #metoo victim of assault from a man (the same man no less) all just to push their love interests' character arc and make them look better by comparison. Same creepy, toxic DDLG undertones projected from a creator who's proven to be into these power-imbalanced controlling relationship dynamics.

Daphne isn't 'empowering'. She's not 'mature.' She's yet another Rachel projection - Persephone but not Persephone - to talk at the audience with generic Therapy Speak while refusing to uphold the very virtues she's signaling. It's not a good thing that her greatest contribution to the plot was being another victim of Apollo.

The proof is all there. If you've still got a hint of doubt, look no further than the newest FastPass preview for Episode 219.

That's all I'm gonna say on that.

#lore olympus critical #lo critical #anti lore olympus #lore olympus spoilers #lmao rachel only posts previews to the FB FastPass group #and says not to share it outside of the group ??? #rachel baby this is the internet #moderate your groups with an iron fist all you want #people will still get into them easily

[babisawyer]

today was awful, tomorrow will also probably be awful. all I have to look forward to is the horrific media I have waiting for me when I get settled in

#🐇 #I have the rachel weisz incest show I have re4r to finish I'm definitely going to either replay or rewatch alice madness returns #I need to for my own sanity I'm at my mf limit #and I won't have internet until MONDAY I'll have to get heavy back into sims #my sim just had a baby with eddie munson and she's developed a ketamine addiction so I got a lot going on #lowkey thankful there's no yellowjackets tomorrow because I won't be able to watch it! now we can all suffer together! #I get to go to bucees for the first time though pretty excited about that #not worth waking up at six to drive 12 hours probably but it's the little things! #also I've been watching jordan persegati's videos for a little while tonight and I would definitely recommend very relaxing very horrific

[ebsmind]

𝐬𝐥𝐮𝐭! ❀ tom blyth x fem!singer reader

summary : reader comes out with a new album and fans speculate she’s in love with a fellow british boy…

warning(s) : reader being called a slut! (slut shaming)

a/n : another installment to my taylor swift sm au!! i also got my nails done so if there’s any typos lmk!!

ynuser GUTS out september 8th 💜

view comments

rachelzegler THATS MY BABY!!! 👏

❤️ by creator

sabrinacarpenter i say that’s my baby and i’m proud 🥺

❤️ by creator

user1 OH HELL YEAHHHHHHHH

user2 it comes out the day before my birthday!!

user2 i love y/n’s and sabrina’s relationship sm

user3 rachel what are you doing here

↳ rachelzegler supporting MY WIFE 😋

user4 Y/N I NEED THE TRACK NAMES NOWWWWW

↳ ynuser soon bae 🫢

user5 SHES BACKKKKKK

user6 i’m so here for this OMG

tomblyth proud of you ❤️

❤️ by creator

↳ user7 hello???

taylorswift so incredibly proud of you!!! 💜

❤️ by creator

ynuserupdates y/n rodrigo’s hiatus has come to an end!! and there’s seems to be something going on with her and tom blyth?? who is this mystery man and is this album about him??

view comments

user1 they are SO dating

user2 idc WE’RE GETTING AN ALBUM!!!

user3 maybe a taylor feature????

user4 i’m pretty sure she wrote a song for tbosas since rachel commented too!!

↳ user5 this!!!

user6 as long as she’s happy!!

user7 we know what she’s done…probably just being a typical slut

↳ user8 girl all of that drama is in the past GROW UPPPP

ynuser slut! music video out now!! thank you @/taylorswift for writing this with me 💜

tagged : @/taylorswift

view comments

taylorswift forever grateful for you!! 🤍

↳ ynuser i love you!!!

user1 taylor helping her write this is so true

user2 i love women

user3 THIS IS SO ABOUT TOM IDCCCCC

user4 SHES IN LOVE YALLLLL

user5 i will NEVER forgive y’all for making her disappear from the internet just like taylor

rachelzegler she’s in love with me guys 🤭

↳ ynuser so true!

↳ tomblyth hey what about me???

↳ user6 OH ITS SO CONFIRMED

user7 SHUT UPPPPP TOMS COMMENT???

user8 MY BABY IS IN LOVEEEEE 😭😭🫶🏼

rachelzegler to my bestest friend in the world, i’m so freaking proud of you. i’ve watched you put your heart and soul into this album, fall in love, and so much more and i could not have cherished something more 🩷 i love you @/ynuser

tagged : @/ynuser

view comments

ynuser you literally have me crying in a club rn 😭😭 i love you sm 🫶

user1 stop i love their friendship sm

user2 the bestest friends

user3 rachel loves her sm omg

tomblyth hey that’s me!

↳ user4 pls tom 😭 y/n and rachel are having a MOMENT

❤️ by creator

user5 stop y/n and tom in the last pic 🥺

user6 rachel doing their soft launch is so real

ynuser in a world full of boys he’s a gentleman

tagged : @/tomblyth

view comments

tomblyth i love you ❤️

↳ ynuser i love you more 🤍

user1 my parents fr

user2 they’re so cute omg

user3 HARD LAUNCHHHH

rachelzegler it was me that got them together you guys!!

↳ user4 thank you rachel 🧎🏻‍♀️🧎🏻‍♀️

user5 i still can’t get over how y/n and taylor wrote this together knowing that they’ve experienced the same thing 🥺

❤️ by creator

#tom blyth #coriolanus snow #social media au #tbosas #the ballad of songbirds and snakes #coriolanus snow x reader #coriolanus snow x you #coriolanus snow x female!reader #billy the kid #coriolanus snow imagine #billy the kid imagine #ebs writes things!

[futfemfantasies]

One Less Lonely Girl \\ lucy bronze x williamson!reader

Prompt: 21. Reader singing One Less Lonely Girl to _________ on the bus on a long trip from a game to announce their relationship.

Short but sweet one :)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"You ready mi amor?"

Turning your head, Lucy leans against the doorframe, muscles on full display in the sleeveless England training top.

"Just finished, let's go before we're late"

Zipping up your England suitcase, Lucy offers to take it to the care while you get your backpack. A kiss on the cheek as a thank you and you quickly get your bag. Lucy jogs inside as you settle in your seat for the nearly 2 hour journey to St Georges Park. Jumping out ouf your thoughts, Lucy opens her door and waves around your white and green predators.

"You're a lifesaver, thanks baby"

This time, a peck on Lucy's lips as a thank you before she starts the car. Lucy's left hand never leaving your thigh tells you something's wrong. You look over at your girlfriend of just over a year until she realises you're staring.

"Something's going on in that gorgeous head of yours baby. What's going on?"

Now it was your turn to put a hand on her thigh. The car slows down to stop at the red light and Lucy looks at you with a hint of worry in her eyes.

"I think we should tell the girls. They're starting to catch on"

Lucy looks back to the road and you stay quiet. Lucy keeps looking over at you every few seconds, worried she said something that upset you. You reassure Lucy that it would be good as you wouldn't have to sneak around at camps anymore and your younger sister Leah is going to burst at any second with the year long secret. As you and Lucy talk about both of your upcoming move to Barcelona, you plan a way to tell the girls and fans.

Lucy pulls up to the familiar training centre and there's a few girls waiting out the front, including your sister. Without saying a word, Leah runs over to you and nearly knocks you over with her power. Not seeing each other for a while makes you miss your best friend, even if you are 7 years older.

After reuniting with your sister, you and Lucy greet your close friends as more start to arrive. When everyone arrives, Sarina calls everyone over to the bus and you get in first securing the table at the back. With Lucy behind you, she slips in next to you, holding your hand under the table. You both are joined by Keira, Leah, Millie, Ella, Alessia and Rachel. After many rounds of cards against humanity and Monopoly deal, you all decide to watch a movie. Ella turns on the tv and it was set to a karaoke mode.

"Karaoke anyone?"

Millie questions and the group quickly agree.

You find the mic so ultimately, you go first. You whisper to Millie the song choice and everyone groans at the familiar 2009 hit.

"...if you let me inside your world, there's gonna be one less lonely girl!"

You look at Lucy like she's the love of your life and no one missed it.

Keira looked at Leah. Millie at Rachel. Ella at Alessia.

No one could believe it. The two most private people on the team are dating.

"Well that's one way to announce it"

Rachel comments as she turns the next song off. The mic goes back to it's original position and you cuddle up to Lucy as the questions stand rolling in.

The bus pulls up to the hotel and Sarina tells everyone their roommates and thankfully, you and Lucy get paired together. You and Lucy high five while your wall neighbours, Ella and Alessia groan.

"We're all happy for you two but no funny business, I mean it"

Sarina warns you two and you both are confused on how she knows but agree anyway. Lucy gets the keys and you both make your way to the room. You flop on the bed and groan about how comfy it is. You feel Lucy fall next to you and you immediately cuddle up to her.

"How about we break the internet and hard launch?"

Lucy suggests, making you sit up quickly.

"Let's do it"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

liked by leahwilliamson, alexscott, lucybronze, milliebright and 27,841 others

y/n_williamson: my yellow person 💛

view all 9,475 comments...

lucybronze: 🥺😘💛

y/n_williamson: mine 💘

leahwilliamson: i love seeing you happy 😊❤️

y/n_williamson: love you lil sis 🥰

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

liked by y/n_williamson, jorgebronze, leahwilliamson, keirawalsh and 38,487 others

lucybronze: soft launch who?

view all 10,645 comments…

y/n_williamson: i love you so much angel 💛

lucybronze: my best girl 💛

keirawalsh: you two make me sick, but I’m glad you’re both happy 🫶

lucybronze: was gonna say…

#lucy bronze x reader #womens soccer #woso soccer #lionesses x reader #woso imagines #woso x reader #woso imagine #woso

[minkyungseokie]

第一章| Getting the Job

warnings; age gap love(R: 23, S:39, T: 50), gxg, throuple, controversial age gaps, random German and Scottish pet names,

note; first chapter! Idk how many chapters this’ll have. I know it’ll include moodboards, smaus, blurbs, and specials that you guys can request!

note2; I don't really like Bianca, so she won't be appearing a lot in this series. I don't hate her, but I don't like her either. If you have an issue, don't complain, just stop reading ❤️

Taglist is open, but only for 19 more people

note3; I decided to give her cochlear implants because I want too. She’s deaf now

fc; imleslie(on a Chinese Instagram app called Xiaohongshu)

Come Talk to Me | Driven by Destiny Masterlist

Autosports Masterlist | Main Masterlist | Toto Masterlist

I do not give anyone permission to change, copy, or put my work on any other platform. It will only be on top, so if you see it, please report it. Or let me know.

Susie huffed, looking down at the sheer amount of paperwork she had on her desk. She wanted to grab a bite to eat, but she had so much to do and she needed a lot more help than what the employees around her can provide. She pulled out her phone and texted her husband, Toto, for some advice. She was a strong independent woman, but even strong independent women need a bit of advice from their spouses sometimes.

And what she got from him was beyond helpful.

A personal assistant.

She was going to hire a personal assistant to help her around the Academy. The list of requirements wasn't long, but it was specific and the requirements that were listed were important for the assistant to have or they wouldn't work well together. Susie typed out the application furiously, making sure that all her requirements were stated clearly and made sure that whoever was filling out the application knew what they were getting into. She made sure they knew what they would be doing, an estimate about the schedule, and what she expected of whoever applied.

Susie finished up and posted it to the F1 Academy website. She also made a Instagram post about it that was a joint post with the official F1 account and the FIA account. With a sigh and a satisfied smile, Susie closed her laptop and put it in her bag.

Now all she had to do was wait for the applications to roll in. She didn’t expect too many since a lot of people were only interested in watching F1 or were, since the fans were mostly men, protesting against the F1 Academy.

Y/n looked at the link that her sister, Rachel, had sent her. Y/n had told her that she needed a new job after finishing college and Rachel had sent her a bunch of applications to different jobs. They were all just random jobs she had found on the internet, which led to where she was now.

She was staring at an application to be a personal assistant to some billionaire's wife who was the leader of some academy for girls who like driving glorified go-karts. It paid more than any of the other jobs that Rachel had sent applications for. Y/n mumbled on her thumbnail, pondering whether she should aim high and apply for the PA job or should she just go for what she knows that she would be able to get.

Y/n was deep in thought when she was startled by the loud sound of her FaceTime ringtone, which happened to be one the songs from her brother's group. "Ah, shit!" Y/n yelled, nearly falling out of her chair, "Who the fuck?!" The dark haired girl growled, grabbing the phone off the table. "Hello?" Y/n answered, "Hey, Y/n. What are you up to?" The deep voice of her younger brother exited the phone as she set it up so he could see her.

"Ah, baby brother! How are you? Loving the new comeback." Y/n said, standing up to grab a bottle of water from her fridge. "I'm great. The comeback has been good so far. Have you heard the entire album?" Felix asked, "Yeah, of course." Y/n answered, sitting at the table once more. The two of them sat and talked about her brother's most recent comeback before the conversation turned to her.

"So, what've you been up to?" Felix asked, shoving what seemed like a chip into his mouth, "When did you get those?" Y/n questioned, pointing to the box of fried potato sticks. "Ah, Chan bright them to me a bit ago." Felix answered, shoving another one in his mouth, "Well, I was thinking..."

"Uh oh."

"Shut up, Lix. Anyway, I was thinking that now I finished University, I should get a new job. One that fits my expertise better, you know? So I asked Rach to help and she sent me some applications she found online..." Y/n said, looking at the open webpage. "Yeah?" Felix spoke, urging her to continue her words, "She sent me one for some F1 Academy. It pays well and I fit the requirements, but..."

"But what?" Felix urged, "I don't know what the F1 academy is and it's in Monaco." Y/n sighed. "Where's that?" Felix questioned, "It's, like, right beside Italy, I think." Y/n answered, "Okay, so what's the issue? It sounds like a good opportunity." Felix said. "I don't want to move away from our parents and sisters." Y/n set her head on her hand, using it as a way to keep her head up, "I don't think mum and dad would want you to hold back for them. Neither would Rachel and Olivia. They would want you to go. They wanted me to go." Felix spoke up.

"Felix, that's because it was your dream. Your dream was to be an idol, so of course they weren't going to hold you back from doing it." Y/n groaned. "Y/n it doesn't matter whether it's your dream or not. It's a better job opportunity for you until you're able to start modeling the way you want." Felix suggested.

Y/n thought about it. It would be nice to make money until she finds a modeling agency that wants to sign her because waiting around for something to happen won't make her any money. She needed to pay rent and keep herself fed, plus, from what she researched about Monaco, they did not collect personal income tax or capital gains taxes. There were no property taxes in Monaco, but rental properties were taxed at 1% of the annual rent plus other applicable charges.

Monaco sounded like a dream. She really didn't think that places like that existed, but knowing that she'd keep every penny of her hard earned money sealed the deal. Y/n applied for the PA position and closed her laptop, "Okay, now to wait." Y/n let out a breath as she looked around her house.

There was no way she wouldn’t be getting the job. She was once an extremely popular Formula Two driver before she ended up quitting. She had met the likes of so many old Formula One drivers who were excited to see her race alongside them when she was ready, but she unfortunately couldn’t continue due to her mother not having enough money for her to have a seat and unfortunately no sponsers wanted to sponsor her.

Y/n stood up and threw her water bottle away. She hadn’t kept up with Formula One since she had left Formula Two and she was kind of curious how her friends from karting and F2 were doing. They were obviously doing better than her since they refused to keep in contact with her, but it’s alright. She could barely remember anything about them anyway so it didn’t matter. It did when she was younger though.

After she left and they stopped talking to her, she felt like everything was falling apart for her. She was living in the UK at the time, but decided to come back to Australia to be near her half siblings and step mother and start her career in modeling or something in the industry. Of course, her plans to model next to the likes of the Hadid sisters or other popular models, had fallen through and she had only become famous as the half sister of Felix Yongbok Lee, the freckled cutie with a deep voice of the famous Korean pop group, Stray Kids.

Y/n pulled out her phone and ordered some food, hoping that it wasn't a bad decision to put in only one application for a job that might be out of reach for her. 

Oh well.

It had been a week since Y/n had sent in the application and she had been waiting for the call back. She was sitting on her couch, staring at the large flat screen TV that was playing a Sidemen Reacts video that popped up on her feed while shoveling hwachae* into her mouth when the sound of another song from her brother's band rang through the air. Y/n picked up her phone with the spoon hanging from her lips and looked at the screen.

It was an unknown number. Y/n didn't usually answer the calls of numbers she didn't know, but something within her told her to answer it, so she did. After pausing the video, Y/n hit the green button on the screen and put the up to her ear, "Uh, hello?" Y/n answered, accent thick. "Uh, hello. Is this Miss Y/n L/n?" A sweet feminine voice that was paired with a Scottish accent, asked, "Uhm, yes. This is her. How may I help you?" Y/n asked, setting the bowl onto the table and sitting up straight. "Yes, this is about the application you put in for the PA position at the Formula One Academy." The woman said.

Y/n sat there for a hot minute before her eyes widened, "Oh! Yes, ma'am. What about it?" Y/n asked, "I wanted to call and let you know that we are interested in having you in the position, but first we need to schedule an interview. Is there a specific time that you're available?" The woman asked.

"Uh, I'm currently living in Australia and not moving to Monaco until a next month." Y/n said. Truthfully, she didn't want to being that up, but she knew that it would be suspicious if she scheduled the meeting so far away. She knew that the fact she was living in Australia could possibly ruin her chances of securing such a good job, but she just didn't have it in her to lie to the very sweet sounding woman.

"Okay, um, I'll be right back. Hang on tight." The lady said, "Okay, ma'am." Y/n said. Once the woman put her on hold, Y/n put the phone on speaker, muted herself, and continued to watch her video until she heard something from the woman on the other line. 

"Uh, hello?" The woman's voice spoke up. Y/n paused her video and quickly unmuted herself, "I'm here." Y/n spoke up. "Okay, so, we usually wouldn't do this, but we really think you'd be a good fit for the position, so I'll tell you what. Save this number. My name is Susie Wolff. Once you're moved into Monaco and finally settled down, give me a call." The woman, Susie, said. "Okay, thank you, Mrs. Wolff. I'll call you once I'm in Monaco." Y/n said, "Alright. See you then. Bye." Susie said before hanging up.

Y/n looked down at her phone with wide eyes before jumping up and onto her couch with a large smile, "I got it! I got it!" Y/n cheered loudly, jumping up and down as if she was a child on a super bouncy bed. "Holy shit, I have to let Felix know." Y/n said, jumping down from the couch and grabbing her phone, which fell out of her hand after she jumped up onto the couch. Instead of calling him, she texted him since she never knew his schedule.

누나- Noona? 아, 누구세요?- Oh? Who are you? 현진- Hyunjin 릭시에게 전화기 좀 주실래요?- Can you give Lixie the phone please

⋘ 𝑙𝑜𝑎𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑑𝑎𝑡𝑎… ⋙

Y/n quickly went to the room that held the boxes that she would use to pack away her things and smiled. It was never too early to begin packing.

Susie cheered. She had finally found the person she was looking for after a week. She was super lucky that she had decided to continue searching through the online applications rather than giving up on looking at the mediocre applications and deciding to hold a hiring fair or something.

Not only was Y/n L/n the most perfect candidate for the PA position, but she had the most relaxing and attractive voice Susie had ever heard other than her husband's.

Susie cleared her throat and looked at the work she had on her computer. She had never been as excited as she was now other than the time when she found out she was pregnant, had Jack, and started the Academy. Okay, she had been this excited before, but this is different. She can tell that she was going to be good friends with Y/n and shoe couldn't wait to work with the younger woman.

This was going to be fun

↳ ❝ [Taglist] ¡!❞

@evie-119 @exotic-iris13 @alliwantisadonut @cheyxfu @xoscar03 @sunnylikesfrogs

#driven by destiny series #f1 instagram au #f1 smau #f1 social media au #f1 scenario #f1 smut #f1 one shot #f1 x reader #f1 fluff #f1 imagine #f1 fic #f1 fanfic #f1 x female reader #f1 x you #formula one smut #formula one imagines #formula one imagine #formula one fic #formula one fanfic #formula 1 x reader #formula 1 fics #formula 1 fanfic #formula 1 x you #formula 1 x female reader #toto wolff smut #toto wolff x reader #toto wolff imagine #toto wolff fanfic #susie wolff x reader #toto x reader x susie

[pancakes4two]

figured it was about time i write a dadrry blurb. look out for a short fic to accompany this as well! face claim is summer rachel warren 🤍

MASTERLIST | SEND ME A REQUEST

yourinstagram

Liked by harrystyles, harris_reed and 2,967,726 others

yourinstagram something to share with you…

View all 107,828 comments

harrystan OMG WHAT WHAT QHAT

harryflorals WE WERE NOT EXPECTING THIS!!!

harryfan1 A LITTLE BABY HARRIET

hsdaily CONGRATULATIONS

harris_reed divine mother ⭐️

yourbff the hardest secret to keep.. so happy for you

gigihadid congrats MAMA!!

kyliejenner playdates soon ❤️‍🔥

harrystyles

Liked by yourinstagram, niallhoran and 9,828,918 others

harrystyles Baby Styles. Coming to a belly near you.

View all 2,838,711 comments

harrystan HE’S SO GOOFY

harrygirl casually breaks the internet w/ a baby announcement at 9am on a monday

harryfan1 this is the most harry way to announce a pregnancy ever

harryfan2 in a few months there’s going to be a tiny little harry running around and i’m not ready for it

niallhoran So overjoyed for you, congrats man.

jefezoff 👶🏻

liampayne My brother!! All the love to you

kaiagerber Oh yes

zendaya Couple of the year becomes family of the year

taylorswift What a beautiful mama. So happy for your family ❤️

beyonce ❤️

your instagram stories:

enews

1,727,123 likes

enews Harry Styles was papped this morning rushing off to the airport in between two sold out nights at the Kia Forum. A source close to the star said his girlfriend, Y/N L/N went into labor late last night, and we can only assume he’s jetting off to support her through her birth. Do we think they’re having a boy or girl?

View all 50,828 comments

harrystan IT’S HAPPENING OMFG IT’S HAPPENINGGGGGGGG

harryfan1 SHE HASN’T POSTED ON STORIES IN 24 HOURS IT’S DEFINITELY HAPPENING

harryfan2 he’s going to be a dad so soon omg i’m so sick with excitement

harry4ever can you imagine him with a little baby girl 🥺

harryfan5 ok but a boy would be so cute too like what if he’s literally just the tiny version of harr😢😢😢😢

harryfan6 nooooo i hope my show doesn’t get postponed

harrygirl The fact that y’all are worrying about shows when he’s going to the birth of his literal CHILD is concerning. Read the room

yourinstagram

Liked by harrystyles, annetwist and 14,892,717 others

yourinstagram baby beau styles is here and he is everything we could have possibly ever dreamed of & so much more.

a little backstory behind the second picture: last week, exactly 7 days before my due date, harry scheduled a 2-day break from his tour. i thought nothing of it, figured he was just taking some well-deserved time off—we all know how hard he works. it turns out, he did just about everything but rest. he spent nearly all of those forty-eight hours in the studio, recording lullabies for our yet-to-be-born son. he took his golden voice and pressed it into vinyl form, so our baby can fall asleep every night knowing he is so loved and safe with us.

so incredibly thankful for my body for nurturing sweet beau until he was ready to join us earthside. i keep counting his little fingers and toes and thinking he is the greatest gift life could have ever given me. half of me + half of h. one perfect tiny human.

View all 2,838,123 comments

annetwist ❤️

gemmastyles Time for me to get into the Aunt Gem uniform.

harrystyles The greatest gift. Couldn’t be more in love.

yourbff stop it!!!!!!!! need to know what’s on the record now!!!!!

yourinstagram he recorded beautiful boy, sweet creature, and songbird. how did i get so lucky.

harrystan I ACTUALLY NEED TO BE SEDATED THIS IS THE SWEETEST CAPTION I HAVE EVER READ

harryfan1 IT’S A BOYYYYY!!! BABY BEAU🥺🥺🥺🥺

harryfan2 congrats y/n you’re gonna make the greatest mama

harryfan3 y/n don’t be shy let us make bootleg copies of the vinyl

yourinstagram thank u all for all the love🤍🤍🤍 my heart feels so full.

TAGLIST:

@crazygirlinthisworld @grapejuice-rry @b-reads-things @s8tellite @olivialovesh

#harry styles #harry styles x y/n #harry styles x you #harry styles x reader #harry styles fake ig #harry styles fake instagram #harry styles imagine #harry styles fic #harry styles social media #harry styles headcanon #harry styles fic rec #harry styles fanfic rec #harry styles fanfic #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles fluff #dadrry #harry styles instagram concept

[dwobbitfromtheshire]

Modern AU where there are books based on what happened to them like in Supernatural (you're not supposed to take this seriously, it's a humerous take):

Robin: *shrieks* Steeeve!

Steve: *drops everything and runs into the living room of their shared apartment* What?

Robin: I'm reading online, and these people are shipping me with Nancy!

Steve: You mean my ex-girlfriend Nancy? The one who I was maddeningly in love with and who I once pictured being a stay at home dad for while she took the world by storm? That Nancy? I'm no longer in love with her, so if you did want to -

Eddie: *popping his head in* I've met Nance, so I don't blame you for once being in love with her. Hey, why are we talking about Nancy?

Robin: They're shipping me with Nance online.

Eddie: Is it possible to unhear something? Don't they know you're into blondes and redheads?

Robin: They did not get the memo. *scowls* They hate Vickie. For no reason other than the fact they're we are too much alike. I love that! We never run out of things to talk about! I love to talk! I love you, Steve, but we have to have some boundaries.

Steve: Well, if things don't work out with Vickie and you did want to date Nancy, I wouldn't have a problem with it. I just want you to be happy.

Robin: Aww. That's the biggest load of crap that I've ever heard you come with for me. *calls Vickie and puts her on speakerphone* Hey, babe.

Vickie: If you're calling me to tell me that you're leaving me for Nance, I understand. I just want you to be happy.

Robin: Oh, boy. You're hanging out with Steve too much. By the way, if we ever break up and that's a big if, and you date Steve, I'll be devastated.

Vickie: *gasps* I would never! That's a huge boundary to cross. I would never do that to you or to Eddie.

Eddie: Thanks, babe!

Steve and Robin: Don't call her babe!

Robin: See, you would have a problem with it.

Steve: Yeah, but I would just bury it deep, deep down, and let it fester just to make you happy.

Robin: Aw, babe, that's really unhealthy. It's okay not to be okay with something.

Steve phone rings. It's Nancy. He puts it on speakerphone.

Nancy: They're shipping me with your platonic soulmate, Steve! Don't they know that I cheated on you with Jonathan?!

Robin: Yeah, there's a whole Ross and Rachel, "we were on a break" thing about it online. Some people don't think you broke up, and some people think you did.

Nancy: We just called each other bullshit!

Vickie: *sniggers* Guys, shipping is supposed to be a fun, not so serious thing. It doesn't have to mean anything.

Nancy: This does not feel very fun. I would never get in the way of two best friends. No, offense, Robin, but you're not my type. I just broke up with Jonathan so I could focus on my career. Why can't I be single for once?

Robin: There's nothing wrong with being a strong, independent, career driven woman!

Vickie: *gasps* Oh, no. You guys should not see who they ship Steve with.

Robin: *scrolls through Tumblr and gasps* Oh, babe, you have it way worse.

Steve: *looks at her phone and shrieks* Billy?! The same racist who nearly killed me and smashed a plate over my head?! The same guy who threatened to run over the kids? Who broke Max's skateboard? The same guy who made Max feel too scared to go to sleep at night? That Billy?!!

Eddie: Stevie. . .do you want to live off the grid and escape the internet?

Steve: How would we stay in contact with people?

Eddie: Birds, baby, we'll train them to send messages.

Robin: Oh, hey, I found a fic where you're being railed by Hopper, Steve.

Steve: *shrieks* My dad?!

#stranger things #eddie munson #stranger things s4 #joseph quinn #eddie stranger things #steve harrington #eddie munson lives #steddie #steve x eddie #steve harrington x eddie munson #robin buckley #stranger things vickie #robin x vickie #rovickie #rockie #platonic ronance #incorrect stranger things quotes #platonic stobin #robin & steve #platonic soulmates #platonic with a capital p

[brf-rumortrackinganon]

Timeline Part 3: May 2017 - June 2017

Previously: 2015 - April 2017 | Update to April 2015 - April 2017

As I mentioned before, I'll be doing these in smaller chunks because Tumblr keeps crashing when I do longer posts. In this edition, we'll look at Sussex PR from May 2017 to June 2017.

A quick note first. There isn't as many pieces from Meghan's mouthpieces during this window as there were earlier in the year. I suspect either a) Harry caught on to how much Meghan talked to the press so she scaled back to keep working him or b) the articles were handled when Meghan's team was scrubbing the internet.

This is also when we start seeing the Daily Mail start dripping hints about Meghan's dossier.

Here we go!

And as always, if you have updates, corrections, additions, please share!

5/2/2017: Meghan gives an interview to Good Housekeeping. This is the first known "roast chicken" reference.

5/3/2017: Meghan teases that Harry uses caviar pills to cure his male pattern baldness. "He" credits Meghan's holistic wellness.

5/4/2017: Buckingham Palace announces that Prince Philip is retiring after the summer and will stand down from royal duties. Anna Wintour is made a Dame by The Queen.

5/6/2017: The BBC claims that Harry's father is actually James Hewitt.

5/6/2017 - 5/7/2017: Audi Polo Challenge 2017 at Coworth Park. Meghan attends to watch Harry play polo and she is photographed with Mark Dyer. On Day 1 (May 6th), paparazzi catch Harry and Meghan kissing in the car park. On Day 2 (May 7th), William also plays polo and allegedly has Meghan thrown out of Coworth Park for stalking. Also on May 7th, Meghan leaks that she will be attending Pippa's wedding.

5/8/2017: Meghan wears a wedding dress for a movie.

5/9/2017: It's revealed that Meghan ditched Serena William's baby shower to go to London to see Harry.

5/10/2017: Mark Dyer sells his pubs to move out of London. The article is the first confirmation that he/his pubs had hosted Harry and Meghan for dates in the early days of their relationship. Speculation begins that Dyer doesn't like Meghan at all.

5/12/2017: Risque photos from a production Meghan did in 2011 resurface.

5/16/2017: Meghan flies into London for Pippa's wedding, although it isn't reported until May 17th and it isn't confirmed until May 18th.

5/18/2017: Meghan confirms she is in London to attend Pippa's wedding.

5/19/2017: Meghan does a pap walk in leggings and shows off her bum. The photos lead to the headline "Wedding of the Rears" and a front page photo by The Sun. Eugenie gives a tone-deaf interview about her "career" and mentions that she loves "The Crown."

5/20/2017: Pippa's Wedding. Meghan is not invited to the ceremony but is allowed at the after-party. Harry leaves the wedding midday to drive 3 hours round-trip to pick Meghan up from Nottingham Cottage. Rumors begin that Meghan wasn't allowed at all to Pippa's wedding, making Meghan angry, so to keep the peace, Harry left the wedding early and picked Meghan up so they could drive past local press to pretend they were going to the wedding.

5/21/2017: Meghan is papped leaving Kensington Palace early in the morning to fly back to Toronto.

5/22/2017:

Meghan gives an interview to Glamour UK about her fashion sense and style. She gives an infamous quote about how she likes to wear monochromatic neutrals (which later bites her in the butt when she says the royals made her wear only neutrals).

The Daily Mail reveals that Meghan's legal first name is actually Rachel.

Risque photos from Meghan's 2013 film resurface.

Meghan claims she was given rooms at the hotel where Pippa's wedding breakfast was being held and that she stayed away from the service out of respect to the bride. This completely contradicts her earlier story that she had stayed at Kensington Palace and that Harry left the wedding early to collect her for the after-party.

5/24/2017:

Priyanka Chopra gives an interview in which she speaks about Meghan and hints that she and Harry are engaged, saying she hopes for an invite to the wedding.

Meghan leaks that Harry plans to take her to Lesotho.

Sentebale's financial report is published.

5/28/2017: Meghan teases that she and Harry are house-hunting in Norfolk to be near William, Kate, and the children.

5/29/2017: William's GQ issue is published, in which he gives an intervew speaking about Diana's death and new photographs of the Cambridge family (in black and white!) are released.

5/31/2017: Camilla Thurlow (of Love Island) gives an interview about having dated Harry back in 2014 when they were photographed at a nightclub together.

6/4/2017: Harry travels to Singapore for four days to play polo in a fundraiser for Sentebale. He also does AIDS awareness work. The polo game is where he meets and befriends Nacho Figueroa.

6/7/2017: Harry travels to Sydney to promote the 2018 Invictus Games, merching his Meghan bracelet. Also, Pippa and James Matthews are in Perth for their honeymoon at the same time.

6/8/2017: Andrew applies to the UK Intellectual Property Office to trademark his Pitch@Palace initiative.

6/9/2017: Meghan is just like Queen Letizia!

6/10/2017: Meghan the yoga influencer. Meghan gives an airport papwalk in Texas ahead of the ATX Festival, merching her Panama hat, The Economist, and Chanel. Patrick Adams gives an interview to ATX about Meghan's relationship and speculates Harry ought to make a cameo on Suits.

6/11/2017: US Weekly speculates that Harry and Meghan could be getting married soon.

6/14/2017: The Sun recaps Harry's past relationships. They also reveal that Meghan had been invited to the 2016 Invictus Games in Orlando. The Sun claims that Meghan accepted the invitation and attended the games, but she and Harry didn't meet.

(June 14, 2017, is also the Grenfell Tower fire.)

6/16/2017: The Daily Express speculate on what Harry and Meghan's children could like.

6/17/2017:

The royal family celebrates The Queen's Birthday Parade, Trooping the Colour. (Kate and Charlotte wear pink.)

Meghan merches a gold and diamond thumb ring that she claims is from Harry. She also claims that Harry gave her a Cartier Love Bracelet (which we know now is actually from Trevor).

E News reports that Harry flies to Toronto after Trooping festivities to visit Meghan. E News also claims that Harry will propose by the end of the year and that Meghan is preparing to move to London. They later update the article to say Harry's camp denied that he went to Toronto and instead went directly to Malawi/Africa.

6/20/2017:

William and Kate make their first Royal Ascot appearance.

Meghan puts Beatrice and Eugenie on notice that she knows they're trying to take her down.

Rumors of Meghan's attitude/behavior causing problems on the Suits set begin. She brushes it off in an interview saying the cast is upset she keeps ditching them to spend time with Harry and that it'll blow over when she introduces Harry to them.

According to unverified claims by E News, Harry leaves Toronto and flies to Malawi for conservation charity work.

Meghan's character arrives on "The Windsors."

6/21/2017: Harry's Newsweek interview to commemorate the 20th anniversary of Diana's passing, and is part of his Hero Harry PR drive. Infamous snippets:

He's in no rush to get married or propose (clapback to all of Meghan's PR trying to hustle him down the aisle).

No one wants to be king or queen.

He wanted to quit the royal family at one point.

Meghan "communed with the dinosaurs" date night at the Natural History Museum.

"Small window of when people are interested in me before George and Charlotte take over."

6/22/2017: Fleet Street criticism of Harry's Newsweek interview begins. It lasts for about a week.

6/25/2017: Sexy photos from Meghan's 2014 model shoot resurface. Meghan leaks that Harry is making her engagement ring with diamonds and emeralds from Diana's collection and that he is collaborating with the royal jeweller, Harry Collins. She also says that Harry wants to marry sooner rather than later while Philip is still around to attend. (This comes after news that Philip was hospitalized for an infection and immediately causes speculation that Philip is seriously unwell/knocking at death's door.)

6/26/2017: E News claims that Harry's discussion about modernizing the monarchy and his role in the modernized monarchy is him preparing for marriage. This immediately causes speculation amongst royal watchers that he and Meghan had fought about the monarchy's way of charitywork (versus her issues-based campaigning) and Harry's sudden discussions about how the monarchy was modernizing was his attempts to fix it.

Also on 6/26/2017, the Court Circular confirms Harry is in Malawai. It is his only Court Circular appearance between 6/17/2017 (Trooping) and 7/6/2017.

6/27/2017: Meghan flies to London. Harry merches Sandals' Grande St. Lucian resort in a promo article. He stayed at the resort during his Caribbean tour in November 2016.

6/28/2017: Meghan merches her clothes and Channel 4 announces a "Meet the Markles" reality show/docuseries about Meghan's family.

6/29/2017: Meghan merches her clothes again and again tries to be a fashion influencer by plugging the "Meghan Effect." The trailer for Suits Season 7 drops and Charles and Camilla travel to Canada for a 3-day tour.

6/30/2017: Meghan leaks that she and Harry are very private homebodies and prefer to stay at home.

7/1/2017: The Cambridges, Harry, and the Spencers attend a private memorial service at the Althorp estate for Diana. (Meghan is in Toronto filming the 100th episode of Suits, courtesy of Patrick Adams' instagram.) Meghan's relationship history is published. Charles announces plans to throw an enormous 70th birthday party for Camilla.

#timeline #brf #sussexes #pr stunts

[apt502-if]

i must ask, if either in the plot or for a scenario, if there will be any Running Through An Airport. like. this is just one year of the MC's life?

like thats not immediately making me wonder if apt 502 wont be a hime for the gang anymore by the end of the year, because either the mc is moving or everyone is leaving or what. like. Cal is dating someone they intend to marry thats a trust-fund baby (and probably wont want to live with so many roommates) and the MC did pack up their whole life to be with Rainn but then got broken up with and, yeah, that's potentially two out (unless your MC dates Cal, then maybe not, but idk) i duNNO, MAN, I LOVE FOUND FAMILY BUT I HATE WHEN EVERYONE SPLITS UP AT THE END, AND IM SUSPICIOUS AND I NEED TO EITHER BRACE MYSELF OR BE REASSURED PLS 🥺🥺🥺

you can, of course, give a non-answer to all that if such is Spoilers, but then it makes me want to ask: what Big Grand Gesture Trope would the ROs be?? whod be, if not running through the airport (or saying "I never got on the plane" a'la Rachel Green), the wedding crasher? who is confessing in the rain? who has the Love Actually cue-cards and a mix-tape of fake carolers? the 10 Things I Hate About You bleachers seranade? the Notebook ferris wheel stupidity, or the "I wrote you every day for a year" thing or the bit with the house and shutters if you prefer sanity? or any of the romantic parts of The Titanic, i guess?? or, back to cliches over specifics, who fills a bedroom full of roses?? tries to get the MC their dream house or maybe their own library?? who holds a boombox over their head? im sure there's more possibilities i could prompt you with, but i digress lmao just have fun with it and feel free to pick ones i didnt list, this was just to get the ball rolling. you can even pick something simple if all these are Too Grand for a specific character. like a love letter for the ages is still sweet, albeit it privater and simpler than any of these lovebomb-y Grand Romantic Gesture displays lmao rip

ha...

Grand gesture trope:

A would be singing on an airplane/public place Wedding Singer Style or the 'boombox outside window, if they did a grand gesture but they're more lowkey and would write a nice letter or do something big but in private, like a montage reel in their house or something

G would be confessing in the rain (and then write about it), Cal would DEFINITELY be the one to build a house like in The Notebook...just something so big like that would be right up Cal's alley since they'd rationalize it as " a house is practical"

Rainn would definitely fill MC's room wiith roses or run after MC in the airport.

L would do the 10 things bleacher performance, or some declaration of love on the internet

M is like A that they're more lowkey, I think M wouldn't do anything except use their words....like a big, fumbling speech that they're sort of embarrassed by lmao

#mail #about: the ros

[whenceful]

AU where House is pregnant and everyone hears about it. House/Wilson/Cuddy but no one really knows they're together. All of House's past and current residents keep asking him about it and he gives all of them different explanations:

House to Masters, who had not asked: I’m pregnant

Masters: Congratulations?

House: You were so cute and I wanted one just like you

Masters: You’re having a girl?

House, scoffing: That’s very heteronormative of you! I’m sure a boy would be just as cute and unwaveringly honest and annoying as you are

Masters: …

Chase: Aren’t you like 40?

House: How dare you? That’s ageist. At least your less prettier half doesn’t judge me like this when she’s doing my prenatal appointments

Chase, who was being generous (he was fairly sure House was nearing 50): Cameron is doing your prenatals? Why?

Cameron, when Chase (and Foreman and Kutner and Thirteen and Taub and Adams and pretty much everyone who has ever worked for House) asks why she’s looking after House’s prenatals: House kind of forced me into it. 

Chase: But you’re not a gynaecologist

Cameron: That’s what I told House! He said that I was better than all of them because I used to work for him.

Chase: I’m sure it doesn’t have anything to do with the fact that everyone in gynaecology hates him

Foreman to Cameron: So House is actually pregnant?

Cameron: You think I’d do prenatals for a fake baby?

Foreman: I didn’t think you’d do prenatals for any kind of baby, seeing as you’re not actually an OB-GYN

Cameron: Can I go back to work now?

Foreman: I thought it was some kind of prank on Wilson or Cuddy

Cameron: So did I, but they’re both away on some conference so I’m not even sure if they know

Foreman: This is so weird

Thirteen, who has already deduced the answer: Whose the dad

House: That’s very sexist of you, Thirteen! This is the 21st century! We can do anything! 

Thirteen: Including asexual reproduction

House: I prefer the term parthenogenesis

Thirteen: Like a reptile?

House: That’s the spirit!

Adams, glad that House didn’t ask her to look after his prenatals: I didn’t know you wanted kids

House: You know I didn’t but then Taub made it look so easy 

House: And I’m sure Cuddy will give me maternity leave

Adams: I’m sure you’ll make a great parent

House: I thought i taught you to lie better than that

Taub, to Cameron: House is actually pregnant?

Cameron, tired of being accosted by everyone at PPTH and just trying to do her job: ….Yes?

Taub: And the baby is real?

Cameron: Yes?

Taub: When is House due?

Cameron, who just wants to go home: I can’t discuss my patient with you

Taub: ….

Taub: Since when does House care about doctor-patient confidentiality

Cameron: He may not, but I do, especially when it gets me out of conversations like this

House to Foreman: Rachel wanted a sister

Foreman: I’m sure that Cuddy will be overjoyed to adopt your baby

House: That hurts, you know. Families come in all shapes and sizes

Foreman: So this baby is going to be Cuddy’s daughter’s sister through delusion

House, mockingly: I wonder if delusion is a shape or a size

Kutner, vaguely disappointed that House didn’t ask him to look after his prenatals: My friend is a gynaecologist at Princeton General

House: When you say friend, do you mean a real person? People on the internet lie. Surprisingly a lot more than people in real life

Kutner: I went to med school with him

Kutner: And why surprisingly

House: Ugh, everyone knows that male gynaecologists are just perverts. Someone on the internet told me that

Kutner: Is that why you didn’t ask me to do your prenatals?

House, gravely: You don’t have Cameron’s bedside manner

Wilson, back from his conference: House, why did my assistant just ask me if i fathered your baby?

House: Because there’s a bet going around on the parentage of my baby

Wilson: You’re pregnant

House: No, but I like making money

Wilson: You made up a pregnancy just to win money from a bet about the pregnancy?

House: I also want maternity leave

Wilson: Of course you do

(it takes Wilson a month to realise that House is actually pregnant)

Cuddy: And here I thought you were too old to have a baby

Cuddy: I suppose congratulations are in order

House: For you and me both

Cuddy: What

House: If you adopt this baby

Cuddy: What

House: Foreman thinks that this baby can’t be rachel’s sister because they’re unrelated 

Cuddy, jokingly: Why did I let you hire such a close-minded fellow?

Cuddy: It’s a girl?

House, in mock-disappointment: So heternormative of you

House to Park: I wanted Wilson to spend more time with me

Park: But you live together

House: He works such long hours

Park: At the same hospital as you

House: I miss him

Park: Sure

House: Can’t a guy get pregnant so another guy hangs out with him more often. Platonically, of course

Park: Of course

Cameron: I’m not doing a c-section

House: I would assume that handling a patient’s prenatals means handling their births as well

Cameron: I can get Chase to do it

House: What does he have that you don’t have 

Cameron: A board certification as a surgeon?

House: Any idiot can become a surgeon

Cameron, calling his bluff: If it’s so easy, why don’t you just do it yourself

House: I fully plan on getting all the good drugs

House: It’s why i’m having this baby, you know

Cameron, not backing down: I’ve never done a c-section. Chase has probably done hundreds

House, mockingly: Will you hold my hand at least?

Cameron: I thought that was what Wilson was for

House: I have two hands

#i couldn't get this out of my head #was thinking of fem!house but it doesn't really matter #house md #gregory house #allison cameron #robert chase #james wilson #eric foreman #lisa cuddy #martha masters #chi park #remy thirteen hadley #jessica adams #crack #lawrence kutner #chris taub #pregnant house au

[decaffeinatedunicorn]

one thing i will say, is that hayden was NOT outside rachel’s house in that pic. nobody knows where or when or even if he’s moving but fyi, rachel just openly admitted to being a zionist and she’s even following one now as she just recently appeared on their podcast with her buddy olivia…

people need to stop using the “we can’t hate or shit on rachel because it will upset hayden” when the man THANKFULLY has zero internet presence. rachel is problematic, she’s accused hayden of cheating when he didn’t, called him antisocial and made fun of his anxiety while also saying last year that he was terrible in bed and didn’t make her climax in the ten years they were together… she dated a racist (bill hader), constantly manipulating and lying to hayden’s family and has them wrapped around her fingers to the point they worship her like she’s god.

there’s even a video of her saying the “N” word to a baby… a literal baby, plus she has made fun of men in their 40s for not having a high body count, saying it’s weird, and she talks so much about her sex life it’s nauseating. don’t even get me started with how there’s active rumors about her lying on briar’s paternity and also how her grandfather and father had hayden blacklisted in the film industry for a certain period of time and making hayden drop out of roles for her on numerous occasions.

hayden doesn’t deserve this toxicity in general and i’m SICK of people defending this woman, it’s not misogynistic to call out this woman for being vile and hateful and disgusting

Um? I feel like I'm being attacked, and I literally didn't defend Rachel, so I'm so confused, I just said we don't know anything, lol. and sure, yeah, call her out of if she's doing that. I totally agree with you there. I don't follow her that closely. I'm just a Hayden fan, so by all means, call her out talk yo shit!

I saw a lot of the stuff about their relationship on a Twitter account that has since been deleted, but I'm not sure the validity of any of those statements about Briar and his family so I'm not gonna weigh in on that stuff, but like I said if you know then you know and by all means, call her out!

#hayden christensen #celebrity gossip #thanks anon! #UNIspeaks

[nicejewishcharactershowdown]

Nice Jewish Character Showdown 2023 - Round Two Eliminations

Another round has passed, one I'd liken to a bloodbath, and we're down to 8 competitors in the race for the NJCS 2023 title. Before the quarterfinal votes go live, let's check in with those disqualified contestants and discuss what makes them such Nice Jewish Characters.

Match One Elimination: Cristina Yang, Grey's Anatomy Probably the most well-known Asian Jew in television, Cristina Yang is canonically Jewish, thanks to her step-father who raised her in it (her mother converted). Grey's has a weird relationship with Judaism, like a lot of medical dramas, but it definitely gets points for the rare and definitely appreciated look at how diverse the Jewish population is.

Match Two Elimination: Tevye, Fiddler on the Roof It's the quintessential Jewish musical, it's one of the main reasons we've seen a shtetl-core resurgence, it's Fiddler! It was definitely the match-up of the dads this time around, and as much as I love this man, his success rate in reference to loving and supporting his daughters is, well... not a perfect score. Thank you Sholem Aleichem for the original stories, thank you Chaim Topol for your iconic portrayal in the movie, alongside Zero Mostel, Leonard Nimoy (yes, Nimoy played Tevye for a bit!), Alfred Molina, Harvey Fierstein, Danny Burstein, and many, many more. Nothing truly hits like being a Jew in the diaspora and watching Fiddler. Still bummed I haven't had a chance to see Yiddler, the Yiddish remount. (Oh, and Fiddler tends to be free on Youtube, so if you haven't seen it before -- or want to revisit Anatevka, treat yourself!)

Match Three Elimination: Rebecca Bunch, Crazy Ex Girlfriend *hits top of a car* this baby can fit so many song titles from CEXG in it When looking for representation, it can often feel like no one else is singing your song. Sure, there are the characters whose Judaism is restricted to reminding you that we've suffered, or who become props for some Christmas Special. But then we get a gem in the rough, a girl in love, a Jewish American Princess who moves across the country to follow a former summer camp crush. Crazy Ex Girlfriend was a rarity, and the four season run blessed us with a lot of quality television, and something even rarer -- a multidimensional Jewish lead. If you haven't had a chance to meet Rebecca, the entire show is available to stream on Netflix. And yes, when I realized how much she was losing this round, this song was on loop in my brain. Apologies to Rachel Bloom and the rest of the CEXG team, I seriously thought you'd sweep this thing. What a twisted fate.

Match Four Elimination: Lily Moscovitz, The Princess Diaries Oh, Lily, I think the internet misunderstands you more often than not these days. But to ignore your Jewishness is an absolute faux pas, whether you're looking at the movies or the much more blatantly Jewish representation you get in the books. Seriously though, I can think of at least a handful of Jewish girls I grew up with who remind me of the headstrong public access host. Side note -- to all the girlies who grew up hating their curly hair because of the nightmare of a makeover Mia got, I'm right there with you, and we'll get through this together. Honestly, I think there's something to be said about Jew-coding's relationship with makeover scenes, but we don't have the time for that right now.

Match Five Elimination: Francine Frensky, Arthur I've mentioned before how I grew up on public access television, so is it any surprise when I say that Francine was (probably) the first time I saw myself on television? Even if it didn't come up a lot outside of holiday episodes (at least in the seasons that aired when I watched), Francine's Judaism felt recognizable. Plus, if you told her she was just token representation, she'd probably sock you in the face. Oh, and something I found while researching -- THE GOLEM IS A PLOT POINT IN A HALLOWEEN EPISODE?! Seriously, props to PBS.

Match Six Elimination: Ferris Bueller, Ferris Bueller's Day Off Finding good representation in any 80's movie is going to be an uphill battle, considering well. The 80's-ness of it all. So when looking for a good Jewish character, it's much easier to default back to the transitive property of Jewish media (art made by Jews being Jewish by way of their perspective being translated into the text). Since Matthew Broderick, Ferris himself, is Jewish, who's to say the most beloved delinquent of his era isn't too? Plus, he's a stock standard rebel against restrictive institutions. Listen, I have the original Footloose on my coded Jewish representation Letterboxd list, I have no room to judge. *Points to Ferris* That's a NJB right there.

Match Seven Elimination: Truman Burbank, The Truman Show Speaking of my coded Jewish representation Letterboxd list, this movie SCREAMS Judaism to me. Come on -- it's so critical of Christianity that it almost falls backwards into Judaism. Free will in spite of a higher power? Disagreeing with authority so much that you flee your home, your world, your reality? Helps that his hometown is so heavily designed after post-war 50's suburbia, which has its own relationship with being Jewish. So is Truman Jewish? I think he can be -- watch the movie and make the call for yourself. It's a classic for a reason, and I won't rob you of the experience.

Match Eight Elimination: Wall-E, Wall-E Wall-E, my robot blorbo, the most Guy of any Pixar protagonist -- what makes him Jewish? He loves Barbra Streisand, collects tcotchkes, and is relentlessly working to make the world better, even if he's the only one still doing it (tikkun olam has NEVER seen a cuter mascot).

#post round analysis #nice jewish character showdown round two #nice jewish character showdown 2023 #nice jewish character showdown

[cowgurrrl]

I know you've written about how rockstar!joel and actress!reader experienced paparazzi but a recent video of rachel ziegler handling the paparazzi well really made me think about how actress!reader would handle them in a similar fashion. they're horrible in general and I feel like actress!reader would tell them off but in a smart, sassy sense lol.

the video of rachel, she told them "sorry??? I'm human talk to me as such" and I think that's how actress!reader would go about keeping them and even if the kids were around too. her and joel, in my mind at least, have a different way of handling them and that's how actress!reader would handle them i feel. (joel thinks his wife is a badass for that because ofc! love to see it!!!)

Oh, Joel does not fuck around when it comes to paparazzi. He has little to no patience and will do everything so their photos are unsellable. Anything from flipping off the camera to mumbling answers to TMZ to even pulling up a picture of Mickey Mouse on his phone and holding it up so paps can’t sell the photos unless they’re willing to pay Disney. It’s extremely smart.

You are a little more gracious. Everybody has to make a living. If you’re on your own, you’ll tolerate a few pictures and questions as long as they’re reasonable and won’t get you in trouble. That, of course, changes once you get pregnant. You still answer questions about work and vaguely say something about the baby being good but you don’t indulge them with details such as your due date, the sex of the baby, or possible names. You figure your good standing with the paparazzi will help you when it comes to concealing Sam and the girls. The flashes and mob scare them and your publicity team has a deal that if they do get pictures of you and the kids out that they have to blur the kids faces unless you change the order (which you won’t do until Sam is eighteen and even then you’re reluctant).

One day, when Sam and the girls are little and you’re still in your two-year time off period to be Mom, you’re going to the grocery store with your very young kid and babies. It’s stressful for any mom to have to wrangle that many small children but especially when people are surrounding you, taking pictures. You do your best to distract the kids, cover their faces, and keep yourself calm but it’s hard. “Can we have some space, please?” You ask politely as you struggle with the double stroller and wiggly babies. While you’re strapping Sophia into the stroller, you hear one of the paps say Sam’s name and ask him something. You don’t even fully hear the question but it doesn’t stop you from whipping around and pulling Sam behind you.

“Did you seriously just ask my five-year-old a question?” You snap. It’s one thing for you to get hounded by the press, but your kid? “He’s a kid. What answer are you expecting to get out of him? Do you want me to find your children and grill them about something while taking pictures of them?” The photographer starts to apologize but you don’t let him. “My kindergartener isn’t media trained or used to people shoving cameras in his face just like every other fucking kindergartner on earth. Can you, please, treat him as such and leave us alone so I can go buy diapers and bread for my family?” They back off, finally, and let you finish loading up the kids. You and Joel’s team sends cease and desist’s to all the photographers who got pictures of the kids that day and orders them destroyed. If a single picture of your children emerges on the internet that neither of you posted, a lawsuit will be sent before the end of the hour and not just one. Two.

One thing becomes very clear to the press that day: Don’t fuck with the Miller kids.

#one for the money two for the show #oftm family #oftm #rockstar!joel miller x actress!reader #joel miller au #the last of us au #tlou au #actress!reader you will always be famous to me

[jellieclogs]

october media recap ✩°｡ ⋆⸜ 🎧✮

i love music, movies, tv, podcasts, games, books, and more. here's a recap of things i watched in october 2023!!

music ♫⋆｡♪ ₊˚

i've been really into more indie blues type music as autumn comes to a head, my playlist autumn girls this is for you has a bit more songs that i really associate with this season. anyway heres the list!

mitski - my love mine all mine

mitski - i'm your man

these two songs are phenomenal, as is mitski's album "the land is inhospitable and so are we" i actually wrote a brief analysis on my love mine all mine as a love song and breakup song. the feeling it invokes in me is second to none, what a beautiful song.

olivia rodrigo - lacy

sixpence none the richer - kiss me

jane remover - search party

searows - used to be friends

phoebe briders - moon song

iron & wine - flightless bird, american mouth

mazzy star - fade into you

sting - shape of my heart

yeule - software update

yeule - sulky baby

taylor swift - "slut!"

rachel chinouriri - maybe i'm lonely

emile mosseri - jacob and the stone

i actually listen to this song to fall asleep, but i can assure you that i also cry every time i watch those videos on the internet with this song playing in the background. it perfectly encapsulates a feeling of hope and loss. beautifully done. minari was a phenomenal as a (real) movie lover, i love when movies have tracks like this that so clearly stand out from the soundtrack and score.

movies 🎞️✮⋆˙

i haven't watched as many movies as i'd have liked in october, it has been an emotional month to say the least. but, now im on anti-depressants so our regularly scheduled slaying is back. movies will be rated a 1-5 star based on how much i enjoyed it! and NO NOT EVERY MOVIE IS FROM THIS YEAR OR EVEN THIS DECADE <3

talk to me (2022) ★★★★

pearl (2022) ★★★★

the invisible man (2020) ★★★★

child's play (1988) ★★★★

doctor sleep (2019) (fucking insanely good) ★★★★★

bodies bodies bodies (2022) (so camp??) ★★★

call me by your name (2017) ★★★★

silence of the lambs (1991) (this is a perfectly made film. argue with the wall!) ★★★★★

and thats about it, i genuinely have been too busy with school to watch as many films, still have not seen barbie or the fnaf movie because im so busy and too broke to go to the movies constantly LOL. however, i will say what my favorite youtube video topics are currently in my honorable mentions section!!

honorable mentions ˙˖°📷 ༘ ⋆｡˚

my current fave youtubers or streamers :3

dead meat (james and chelsea constantly demonstrate a genuine love for horror and have recently been branching out to video games amidst the SAG strike! love them and their work so much, they have definitely made me into more of a horror movie buff)

wendigoon (i will listen to this man talk about anything, but he constantly raises the bar with how informed he is on topics. he just likes to talk abt weird shit and thats really neat idk)

supertf (ive been watching this guy for over 5 years he is still the funniest ow streamer out there sorry)

kyedae (she is rlly funny and even though valorant is boring to watch i watch her play mostly, however i LOVE when she does variety or horror its so funny how scared she gets)

jacksepticeye (watching him play spiderman 2 bc i don't own a ps5, BUT ALSO sean just has the best playthroughs of games like this. love his takes on the game!!)

mike's mic (olivia wilde nodding gif like if you get it you get it!)

games im playing right now :3

the sims 4 (do i need to explain this rlly... i have 2000 hours on sims... currently building a tiny town for the new expansion pack :3 pics here)

sun haven (started playing with my bf, feels like stardew valley with a bigger world and more things to do! i HATE the fishing mechanic. it is not for me babes)

valorant (playing occasionally as i am not very good, but i have alot of skins so yipee)

overwatch (i have 1600 hours in the game unfortunately. addiction is real guys)

fall guys (just recently started playing with my friends again, idk why anyone wouldnt want to play this its free and fun. theres a hatsune miku skin in the game like CMON)

genshin impact (im actually really invested in fontaine's story, if i had multiple hours a day to game i would do all the story quests and things but again, im so b u s y. still farming for arataki itto, pls come home)

bloons td6 (i've somehow racked up 60 hours on this game...its so fun...i love it...)

lastly, my october hyperfixation was...

horror movies and true crime!! i watched over 100 hours of movies, video essays, podcasts, and documentaries relating to horror and true crime. i'm officially burnt out of it though, so i will be back next month to once again happily share my interests!! byeee

- jane ⋆｡° ✮

#media review #movies #music #gaming #october recap

[itookyoudown]

🪐🔪🥐🎨

🪐 ⇢ name three good things going on in your life right now

have two books close to being completed and another book with a solid idea started. so, yay, more money soon hopefully.

got a place to stay for a good long while. will have to move again, but in a stable place with stable people and in a much more stable situation.

have a few art supplies for cheap lined up so i'll be able to draw and paint again real soon. since this was the third time in my life i had to trash all my art and leave behind my art supplies for a move, well, i was just prepared to quit this hobby forever to be honest. i'm so tired of having to move with just two suitcases and a backpack lol. ready at this point to just live with a bug-out bag and not much more. but someone who loves me helped me find some stuff and is helping to pay so i'll have the basics :)

🔪 ⇢ what's the weirdest topic you researched for a writing project?

i did a lot of research into South Carolina during WWII for vampire reasons once and ended up falling down a research rabbit hole and learning about its history as Charles Town so i had some hella weird and very specific questions about All That.

🥐 ⇢ name one internet reference that will always make you laugh 

i want that twink obliterated will never ever stop being funny to me.

🎨 ⇢ link your favourite piece of fanart and explain why you like it

tim and rachel in western wear by @boydcrowdr

because LOOK AT THEM.

my baby boy in purple!! rachel in a cowboy hat of her own!! it's beautiful i'm in love i still cannot believe one of the rare and precious artists in our talented fandom gifted me something!! that makes me biased so what and idc everybody look at what my friend my justie!!! i like to look at this whenever i'm depressed for a little quick cheering up.

(Writers Truth & Dare Ask Game)

#tooks.txt #💌 #justie games

[thegenuinezacrekshipper]

This Is A whole Judgmental Villain Post

I am going to be judging how good of villains each of these idiots are, if they have a low score I can hardly call them a villain. These are specifically MyStreet villains for now.

Ein. He definitely meets the criteria for a villain but he's just not... That good of one. First of all, how the fuck did he go from genuine emotions to "oh wow I was faking it to become the alpha and bla bla bla"? No one fakes emotions that good, this story plot was bullshit. His main goal is to... WaiT what's his main goal again? There's the turn everyone into a werewolf supremacist thing, the fuck lemme make out with this basic ass chick thing, the uwu get revenge on ultima thing[get in line with everyone else lol], and then there's the simping for Michael thing. The main one is probably the last one in season six cause that's all he talked about. He got a lot of people killed but he can't do it without help. He is nothing but a sidekick. 3\10.

Zack. he doesn't meet any criteria why the fuck is he in the villain place. The whole reason he even worked with Michael was money yet his dumbass wasn't willing to kill for it? He's pathetic as fuck. His main goal was to threaten and torment Derek in Starlight, that's not intimidating to the rest of the group at all. if he actually did something besides torment and be a condescending asshole to his ex boyfriend then maybe he's meet the criteria, but he doesn't. The cheating doesn't make him a villain, as that would put so many other characters as villains too. Yeah he's an asshole and all, just not really a villain. 0\10.

Elizabeth. The fuck she do besides kick Garte's kneecaps out and have a fairly seductive voice? She also saved Zack from drowning, how dare she he wanted to die anyways[which is sad but let's not talk about that]. She'll probably be better in the future so I give her 4\10.

Derek. No. No no no. He is not a villain in the slightest he is an antagonist, there is a BIG difference. His actions are more fucked up then the others though so he gets to be talked about. First of all the nicest thing he did to Aaron was get him a dog, then lose it. Now for the actual options, Derek has a weird way of showing he cares about Aaron. That includes making agents stalk him to make sure he doesn't hang out with humans he could put in danger, hiring some weird stoner dude to assault his son then hug him, intentionally calling his son a monster whenever he does anything wrong, throwing a temper tantrum and breaking his phone, and he's also really good at lying. probably learned it from Michael cause there's no way he picked it up himself. Oh also 7\10 for creativity.

Xavier. Best villain 100% \s. He really needs to take a break from the internet because it is damaging his emotional health and also his villain vibes, I can't really take a computer need who's really only obsessed with seeing the ultima seriously. He gets really fucking emotional when it comes to exposing the ultima so it messes up all his Damn plans. He only stayed in FCU because he's only a villain meant for college. 5\10 cause I feel bad for him.

Ivan. This bitch could've just stayed a player and saved his pathetic life from becoming an asshole, yet he chose the wrong path because he's really stupid. All he does is prank people and harass Lucinda, and also turn people into babies. He's literally nothing but a kindergartener to everyone. 1\10

Michael\The Demon Warlock. Wow someone who literally could give less of a fuck about Aphmau and Aaron's relationship's existence? Perfection. Amazing. Anyways, some of the bad things he did were controlling people to kill others for him, kill Terry's dad who apparently existed, beat up Travis because he's a nuisance and he's in the way, try to kill a useless God who does nothing for the community, didn't kill Derek cause Derek killed himself, killed one of his partners daughters cause he doesn't give a fuck, and he also killed Rachel. The fuck is up with that. How dare he. His main goal is to kill Irene cause fuck if I know I guess they broke up or something. He is also weird and predatory just like Terry, which is why I can't tell them apart. 9\10 cause the Katelyn thing ruined his intimidation.

That is all for now.

#aphmau #aphverse #aphblr #aphmau mystreet #mystreet #mystreet aphmau #aphmau villains #mystreet villains #aphmau zack #aphmau derek #aphmau michael #michael valkrum #aphmau xavier #aphmau ivan #aphmau elizabeth #aphmau ein