#plus the yearning for something romantic in your platonic relationships that will ultimately never be reciprocated | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

godkilller · 3 years

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✵ !!!

send ✵ and my muse will answer the following. ( not accepting )

Their first impression of your muse:

A little girl that didn't belong there, on that dirt road, in those rags, in that exact time and place -- she should have been in a better district, a cleaner and kinder one, one that didn't have men surrounding her like vultures. If he had just seen her a little sooner, if she just hadn't been on that specific part of the road, maybe they wouldn't have gotten to her, maybe he could have fought them off, maybe she would have been okay --

She's meek, at first. Had no sense of time, but Gin reckons she's a little bit older than him. HE CAN'T STOP WONDERING WHERE SHE CAME FROM and if he could have found her sooner before she even collapsed that day. Gin aggressively gives her the majority of his food, the best picks, because he can't stop thinking about the piles of ash and discarded robes he found along the road that day. She was the first body. Food helps people with power, right? They need it. It'll help her not turn to ashes.

He wants to fix her clothes for her, he learned how to sew his yukata up whenever he got a snag on it, and hers are in desperate need of fixing. Gin can't stop thinking about whether or not they were in that bad of a shape before those men got to her, or if it was because of them -- either way, one of the first thing Gin steals that isn't food is a whole bunch of new fabrics. He'll make her a new one from scratch if he has to. They can burn the old outfit for warmth on a cold night.

Current impression:

He loves her. Gin is absolutely smitten. He can't stop thinking about her whenever he's experiencing something without her and he yearns like a puppy at times so potently that it's kind of embarrassing. She's a bright summer day to his cold winter -- and Gin knows he's being a hopeless poetic mess at times like these, but he also knows that it's better than him becoming cynical and not believing in love anymore. If he loses that, loses her, what will stop him from becoming a monster? Maybe he already is one, but she's the tether keeping him from a full loss of self. Maybe he'll still be able to come home to her after all --

Rangiku forgives when she shouldn't. But Gin isn't in any position to tell her she's in the wrong for being compassionate. Her heart's always been too big, it's no wonder she had a piece of god in there -- and oh, Gin's so close to telling her about that, about everything. Rangiku deserves the truth, Rangiku deserves more than what Gin thinks he knows what she deserves. Foolish of him to ever presume, to allow himself to become blindsided by a selfless act turned selfish by therein thinking he knew what she needed to know, and what would hurt her less -- Gin's realizing swiftly, but also slowly at every turn he takes with her, that Rangiku's so much stronger than the frail girl he met on the side of a road. He never once coddled her, but he certainly needs to adjust his perception to accommodate the fact that he's been far more influenced by the childish version of her in his heart than her current form, her beautiful, stunning, warm, compassionate, and womanly form.

He wants to marry her. After everything they've been through, the simple act of her still wanting to be with him is enough to make Gin want to take her hand into his and ask her then and there.

Gin wants to tell her so much. Stupid things, really, thoughts and feelings he swallowed down for years because it was too intertwined with everything else he couldn't find the words to articulate to her. Gin has so much he never told her beyond the obvious, blatant secrets he's ready to cleanse from their laundry, and he can't wait to finally learn how to let go.

Are they attracted to your muse?:

Oh yes. Gin likes to pretend he's not as affected as others, and well, he doesn't get nosebleeds or anything silly like that in reaction... but good fucking god, look at her. Gin oughtta win a fucking award for his ability to not swoon whenever Rangiku turns to look at him. He's smitten and utterly attracted, hearteyes for her, the whole nine yards. Gin can also confidently (but still joking, of course) admit that he's Rangiku-sexual. Someone else could walk on by with an hourglass figure and boobs and an ass to match or even contest hers and Gin wouldn't bat an eye at them, because it ain't boiled down to just those features of hers.

Gin hides how attracted he is to her expertly, though. He's not crazy about drooling or acting ridiculously incapable of handling the sight of her. But he also may or may not pounce if she starts getting particularly frisky with him, wearing certain things... oh, y'know, a man can only not think with their dick for so long.

Something they find frightening about your muse:

The way she's been willing time and time again, including for him, to lay down her life for others. Don't.

Something they find adorable about your muse:

When she gets all pouty and uses that one voice to whine until she gets what she wants.

Would my muse sacrifice themselves for yours?:

In a heartbeat.

Would my muse go on a date with yours? platonic/romantic:

Gin's big on the romantic dates with Rangiku, yes, it's the experiences that he can cherish, the memories -- but that also can include silly dates, more 'platonic' vibes, where he simply accompanies her during an errand or they go out to a bar with a bunch of friends together. Given their relationship, things tend to become inherently romantic when they're with one another.

One word my muse would use to describe yours:

Soulmate.

Would my muse slap yours if they could?:

Never, not even in a kinky way. Rangiku deserves gentleness and love.

Would my muse hug/kiss yours?:

The real question that needs asking is why does Rangiku not only allow, but also go so far as to enjoy receiving hugs and kisses from someone like him?

Gin's signature approach for an ultimate hug/kiss combo is the classic hug-from-behind-and-kiss-at-neck angle. She fits against him so well like that, how could he resist? Plus, the act can be completely innocent like a peck, or utterly not innocent depending on how Gin carries it out. The duality, the range.

#[ headcanon ] fresh snowfall; fading footprints mark his path #[ dynamic: gin and rangiku ] grow from the sorrow in me; the winter in us #ANSWERS THIS A MILLION YEARS LATER.#also this has a lot of #[ verse: redemption ] i am healing by mistake; rome is also built on ruins #vibes in my answers so --

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kingofthewilderwest · 3 years

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Hi! here's part 1 of the ask XD: So I have this friend whom I try to love unconditionally but she is not as involved in the friendship, but I wanna try to still be there for her just in case something happens to her in the future plus, but most of my friends say that I should leave her if she is not as invested and I started thinking maybe there is something wrong with me? I consider my loves ones my purpose/goal, meaning and dream, I can't leave her! Since you are very insightful, thoughts? XD

Hey there. <3 <3 I'm so so so sorry you had to wait this long for my response. I've been thinking about you and chewing over the right words. Sometimes it's hard for me to muster up words. I hope these words are slightly okay and aren't coming too late. Also sorry that it's long. XD

I've been in friendships I consider imbalanced; one of us feels a much greater love for them than vice versa. I've been in both directions: as the person feeling the greater love, and as the person receiving that love.

Loving another person is beautiful. I think it's the most beautiful part of the human soul. Wanting them to be happy and being willing to help them through challenges is some of the purest things a human can feel. The fact you are someone filled with love and devotion shows that you have some beautiful things in your heart. <3

Unfortunately, I do believe that imbalanced relationships are not healthy until they get handled. It doesn't have to mean there's something wrong with you. Sometimes it just be. But it might indicate the relationship is not in good, stable equilibrium; it might indicate you will have to adjust your behavior; it might indicate there are psychological things you have to process (depends on your situation); and it might indicate both of you are getting unintentionally hurt by this current imbalance.

Several times I've been in relationships where I loved that person way more than vice versa. In both notable cases, they were uncomfortable with me. I felt like I was straining to be around them because I loved them so much, but I felt in pain too because I didn't get enough good time from them. I wanted my happiness in them, but I couldn't actually get secure happiness from them because they weren't invested in me in a level that'd satisfy my emotional-psychological strainings. And when I wanted to help them and got turned down, I felt extremely frustrated. I wanted!! to!!! help!!!!! them!!!! :(( One time the friendship would have been healthy if we'd both felt the same, but it wasn't meant to be. Another time, while I believed I was acting out of the right amount of devotion, that devotion was good and correct, I actually had insecurities I had to deal with. My devotion was an inability to accept my reality. I was emotionally unstable. I am not saying this is what you have; I'm just saying this is what happened to me one time.

On the other hand, I've had multiple situations where people adored me. Either I felt so-so about them, or they were friends, just not to that extent. And I will admit, it's very unfun being on this side, too. I knew I couldn't give them what they wanted. I didn't want to hurt them, but I couldn't magically create a type of love in me I didn't have for them. I didn't want them to be the people I was confiding in or relying on for my worst struggles; I had other friends who fulfilled those roles and I was sufficient that way. In the imbalanced relationships, I'd enjoy hanging out and going to the coffee shop once in a while, sure! I wanted to be casual or everyday friends with many of 'em! But it could easily accidentally feel like they were hanging over me and not giving me breaks I sometimes needed. Or it felt... I mean... there's times where someone who is romantically in love with you makes you feel awkward, and I absolutely believe there's the platonic equivalent when it's that unrequited level of friendship-love. And because the intensity is unrequited, the level of love the lover feels is never going to be matched, and nothing you do will make that change. The only thing you can do is adjust yourself and your actions and try to get that unrequited straining tampered down over time.

I'm not saying you are obtrusively hanging over the other person or annoying them. I don't know your situation's details and I'm not going to presume them. <3 It very well could be the case that other folk is just indifferent. It could be the case you're simply at a miscommunication about basic balance needs. So I'm agnostically covering all scenarios. But when I hear about situations like these where the love is imbalanced, my go-to response is: the person who's in further has to back off.

Because at this point: it's about boundaries of comfort. You have to prioritize the comfort of the person who feels their space is being (for lack of better words, sorry) "invaded".

Perfectly fair friendships sometimes need to readjust their boundaries so everyone feels comfortable. Backing off doesn't need to be cutting your friend out of your life. I think it depends on the situation. If you're actually friends where both are willing to work with the other, sometimes it can be successfully communicated out. I've had that work in my friendships.

You can learn what your friend's boundaries are, and then you'll have to learn how to stick with them. It might feel unpleasant when your heart is screaming to do and be more, and I sympathize. I know we can't turn our hearts off. Hearts will continue to yearn. But I think you and I can both understand that ultimately, in loving our friends, the most loving act we can do is make sure they feel comfortable with us. If that means your buddy only wants you as a sometimes-go-to-the-mall-with person, then that's the role you do; to go further is to breach into an intimacy they don't want. Over time, by acting carefully, hopefully your screaming heart will not scream so bad, and you and your friend will both feel happier with how your day-to-day interactions go.

In other cases, the imbalance might be irreparable. If the other person is legitimately indifferent or disinterested in you, you are investing a ton of spoons and emotional energy that are taxing you and helping nobody. They're not actually your friend. This type of person doesn't want your devotion, and while that kindness is wonderful, you're not actually going to be able to help them. In such a case, your other companions could be right, and that leaving the person is the best choice you could make. Kindness takes a lot of energy, and we are only hurting ourselves if we are over-investing in someone who literally doesn't care. It's not healthy emotionally, it means you don't learn how to move on and allocate emotions, and you burn yourself out for someone who wouldn't bat an eyeball and help you. Good friendships are ones where people are going to help each other to at least some extent, right? Because you deserve that, too!!!

I've seen plenty of one-sided "friendships" where the endless lover gets manipulated, taken advantage of, and abused to serve the other, uncaring person. I would be really sad if you ended in a situation like that one, because damn, those mess folks up. In such a worst case scenario as that one, "helping" the person, "loving" them, just perpetuates and "justifies" their bad behavior to you (and probably others), and means every action you do doesn't help them... it hurts you, and that's the only result. Again, I'm not saying this is you. I am NOT. But fucking hell, I've seen it happen a lot, and it's dangerous, and it's why love also involves knowing when to say "no" and step aside, right?

There was one time I was deeply in love with someone who was toxic. But even though she was toxic, I couldn't leave her! I wouldn't abandon her!! That's what I thought. [sigh] Leaving her ended up being the best thing I did, and the best thing that happened to her, too. That was a greater, more loving, more humble choice than the anxious (frankly very unhealthy) paranoia I had trying to keep her in my life. And I have majorly psychologically healed and gotten better, stabler relationships with everyone around me since making that choice.

Human love is like a candle. It's a beautiful light shining for the edification of others and everyone's happiness. But what good is it if you burn yourself out in an empty room? All you do is harm yourself, lose your light, and nobody else receives it. And if you're a candle, you probably need other candles to relight you, too; we're reciprocal beings. Considering your loved ones your entire purpose, meaning, and dream ergo could end up to nothing but personal harm if you pursue something like that empty, dark room. It doesn't even have to be a malicious room... just... indifferent to anything you could do. </3

I hold a huge value to devotion and loving friends. None of my answers are intending to say, "curb love!" I do believe in sacrificing for others when they need it, and I do believe in showing kindness to folks who'll be buttheads to me. But I also believe that we need to make sure we are in good relationships where we're being cherished too. Whether your situation is one where the friendship can continue after a good conversation about comfort, or it's one where you're better off investing your heart elsewhere, I believe this might be a hard case of learning restraint.

I'd say it's restraint in how we channel our love.

We can still love unconditionally while knowing there are boundaries we won't cross and energy we won't extend. We can always give people love to the degree to which each relationship merits it. Sometimes someone is out of our boundaries and that's just how it is. All interactions can be made with love in mind. A best friendship and an acquaintanceship both involve love, but each type of relationship has different actions we can and cannot take to make the other comfortable, or make the relationship solid and balanced. This is not limiting love. I believe this is using love right.

Because there's so many instances where friendships aren't bad, aren't toxic, aren't shitty, aren't doomed or something... they're just imbalanced, and balancing is hard! Nobody is doing anything wrong-wrong, and love is good, we just aren't channeling our love right or designating our emotional energies well. There are successful cases where folks I know initially made me uncomfortable but stepped back to my comfort zone. We stayed friends and have had a good time. I've felt better about being with them after having conversations and making adjustments. Sometimes it took a while because hearts HAVE EMOTIONS, but! We refound balance! Our friendships returned to a stable, healthy state. And I've felt better after receiving feedback from friends saying I've exceeded their bounds, and learned (ever-so-painfully) to step back and tell me heart there's places I cannot go.

I wish you the best with finding balance. Take care, have an awesome one. <3 Rock on.

#I didn't receive a Part 2 but I hope this helps and is at least slightly relevant #sorry if I assumed anything wrong!!!!#long post #best of luck friend #anonymous #awesome anonymous friend #ask #ask me #blabbing Haddock #non-dragons

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