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vivalas-vega · 10 months

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new perspectives / jake ‘hangman seresin x reader / part nine

hello !!! the moment has arrived !!! ngl I cried a little writing this. bonus points if you catch which show I referenced during the ceremony ;)

new perspectives / jake ‘hangman’ seresin x reader / part nine

prologue - one - two - three - four - five - six - seven - eight

word count: 4.2k

warnings: mentions of drinking, insinuation of sex, language, fluff !!!

“Another shot for the bride,” Phoenix said as she placed tequila before you and you rolled your eyes before throwing it back.

“If I have any more I’m not making it down the aisle tomorrow,” you teased before biting into the lime.

“Dr. J?” you heard behind you and you swiveled in your seat, suddenly alert at the use of doctor, to see one of your residents. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to intrude, the wedding is tomorrow?”

You smiled as you motioned for her to join the two of you, “indeed I am. Phe, this is Dr. Eliza Roberts. What brings you to a Naval bar?”

“Man-hunting,” she replied sheepishly and you nodded knowingly. “I’ve seen your fiance around the hospital,” she paused to wiggle her eyebrows for dramatic effect, “figured it wouldn’t hurt to try something other than the dive bars downtown.”

“Well, they’re certainly pretty but be careful, they’re all idiots.” Phoenix said, looking over her shoulder towards the boys at the pool table who all burst out in raucous laughter as some of them rough-housed, accentuating her point and you just shook your head.

“Ignore her, Eliza. She’s jaded because she works with them.” you teased.

“You’re a pilot too?” she asked, and as the two talked about work you took a moment to look her over… you’d always liked her, she was a fantastic resident with a wicked sense of humor but through the hustle and bustle of your shifts you’d never once stopped to look at her long enough to notice anything other than her scrubs and tight ponytails. She was stunning standing here before you in a loose-fitting band tee tucked into retro flare jeans and her hair was messily curled showing off her fiery locks. As she prattled on about a case the two of you had worked on today you felt a lightbulb appear above your head and soon you were grabbing her wrist and dragging her away from the bar.

“Dr. J, where are we-”

“You don’t have to call me doctor here,” you said as you stopped far enough away from the boys. “You want a Navy man?” you asked and she nodded sheepishly in response. “Then I’m going to do all of the hard work for you and weed out the red flags,” you said, pulling her along and knocking your shoulder into Rooster’s.

“Your man is wiping the floor with him,” he chuckled, watching as Jake and Coyote played pool. “He’s down oh-for-three, it’s actually getting hard to watch.”

You cleared your throat, “Roo, I would like you to meet Dr. Eliza Roberts,” you introduced and his eyes nearly bugged out of his head when he finally turned to look at the two of you. “She’s one of my finest residents. Eliza, this is Rooster, or Bradley if you prefer, he’s a pretty decent pilot if you squint.”

“Eliza, it’s a pleasure to meet you,” he said, extending his hand and you fought back an eye roll as he raised hers to his lips to press a chaste kiss against her knuckles.

“Well, I’ll leave you to it, she’d make a great plus-one, Roo,” you said with zero subtly before slipping away and you let out a giggle as you collided with Jake’s chest.

“Are you playing matchmaker?” he asked, looking down at you skeptically and you nodded.

“It’s about time someone made an honest man out of him,” you said, turning to watch the two hit it off completely, their smiles were blinding as they both laughed and you had a feeling you just initiated something long-lasting. “She’s my favorite resident, he’s my favorite Dagger… it makes sense,” you added, a smirk tugging at your lips as he gasped.

“Your favorite Dagger? Excuse me?” he gestured to himself as you laughed.

“Oh, you’re right, my bad… he’s my second favorite, behind Phoenix of course.” you continued teasing as you slipped from his grasp.

“I can’t believe I’m marrying you,” he called after you and you turned with a shrug.

“There’s still time to back out,” you replied and you let out a loud laugh as he quickly crossed the distance and pinned you against a wooden beam.

“No chance in hell of that sweetheart,” he whispered, pressing a kiss to your lips. “Are you ready to become Mrs. Dr. Seresin?”

You nodded, “born ready, baby.” you giggled as he kissed you again. “Your mom texted earlier to tell me she finished altering my dress and my mom worked some magic with Trader Joe’s flowers for my bouquet… everything is set and ready,” you said with a smile.

“This is a precursor for what’s to come when we do the real thing when you get back,” he pointed out and you shrugged.

“And we won’t have to lift a finger then either… they’ll plan the whole thing and we’ll get to celebrate for a second time.” You pulled away from him as you rejoined your friends and you shouted at Coyote who turned to look at you with fear in his eyes. “Did you ever finish getting ordained?”

“Your lack of faith in me is insulting,” he said and you rolled your eyes.

“Do I need to bring up Virginia Beach 2018?”

“I said I was sorry!”

“Yet you see how it’s relevant to me double checking you are in fact able to marry us tomorrow, right?”

“Yes ma’am, we are ready to go.” he conceded, wrapping an arm around you.

“And so are we,” Phoenix said as she pulled you from between Coyote and Jake. “You need to get your beauty rest and I know everything about this is unconventional, however we have about eight minutes until tomorrow and he cannot see you until you’re walking down the aisle,” she said and you just laughed.

“It’s not even really going to be an aisle, Phe… it’s a stretch of sand thirty feet from where we’re standing.”

“I don’t care, let’s go,” she prompted and you rolled your eyes before turning to face your almost-husband.

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” you whispered against his lips before kissing him and he looked down at you with nothing but love when you pulled away. “I’ll be the one in white.”

“I’ll be the one at the end of the aisle,” he replied with a smirk. He wrapped his arms around your waist and lifted you off the ground as he kissed you again and you let your legs tangle around him as he spun you in a circle, earning cheers from your friends as they watched.

“Alright, alright… save it for the honeymoon,” Phoenix teased as he set you down. You let her tug you out of the bar, not before shooting a wink towards Rooster and Eliza. “Face masks and a scary movie?”

“Can’t think of a better bachelorette night.”

You sat at the bar while Penny made you a mimosa with a towel draped around your shoulders… your mom was adamant in keeping it over you until you were ready to walk out. Heaven forbid anything get on your dress. You’d found a white mini dress with subtle beading with Phoenix a few days ago and felt it was perfect for your last-minute beachside nuptials.

“They are just about ready to go out there, Seresin cleans up nice,” Maverick said as he entered the bar and he stopped in his tracks as he saw you… towel and all for the first time all day. “Oh Jupiter, you look incredible.”

“You like?” you asked, accentuating the terry cloth as you spun in the chair and he chuckled as he came to press a kiss to your temple. Your hair was loosely curled with a few pieces pinned back and you’d decided to forgo a veil and donned a brooch turned into a hairpiece from Grammy Seresin’s collection instead… you’d save the big white veil for the larger ceremony to come. This was simple, lowkey, and just about you marrying the love of your life with the most important people… you’d allow yourself to go fancy for the event everyone back home was waiting on next year.

“It seems as if it’s time, honey,” your dad said as he came inside and you finished off your mimosa before standing and shrugging off the towel.

“Well, then let’s blow this popsicle stand,” you said with a smile as you slipped into your heels, white with pearl accents.

“You sure? I can still drive the getaway car if you’d like,” Rooster said, standing beside Phoenix as best man and maid of honor and you laughed as you shook your head.

“No need for a getaway car today, Roo. Go on, don’t trip,” you teased. You hovered around the door with your arm looped through your father’s as you waited for everyone to file out and when the speakers began playing an instrumental version of Drops of Jupiter that Rooster had recorded for the two of you… it was cheesy and you’d originally protested the idea but eventually came around and it felt perfect as you took a deep breath and tightened your grip on your dad. “Don’t let me trip,” you said, half-joking and half-completely-serious.

“Never, sweetheart.” The doors opened and you started to walk around the corner of the building towards the area Penny and Phoenix alongside your mother’s had spent hours setting up this morning as a photographer worked her magic and managed to be everywhere at once… capturing every angle she could. You saw a few of your friends from the hospital along with the rest of the Dagger Squad, Penny and Amelia, and his parents standing on either side of the aisle with huge smiles on their faces as you came into view… but soon it was like they weren’t even there. All you saw was Jake, standing there underneath an arbor of baby’s breath in a linen suit.

You were hit with a wave of emotion with every step… that faltered the second your heels sunk into the sand and you earned laughs from the crowd as you paused and kicked them off with a sheepish smile and Jake’s heart swelled at the sight. Even in a beautiful dress during such a monumental moment, you were still completely you. His eyes welled with tears as you grew closer and your mind was swirling with memories and dreams for your future. You thought about dancing under the twinkly lights at junior prom, him holding your hair back on your twenty-first birthday, and facetime’s in an OR gallery… and you thought of facetime’s on deployments, taking your future dog to the park, and sitting on a porch swing old and gray.

Your father passed your hand to Jake’s after he wrapped you in a hug and you couldn’t help but beam up at him as the weight of what was happening settled over you… you were finally tying yourself to this man after so many years of waiting. “Well folks, we are gathered here today to celebrate something that is a long time coming,” Coyote started, earning laughs from everyone.

“I could stand up here and talk about all of the ways these two are meant to be together, and you’d all agree… I could talk about fate, and destiny, about how somehow the stars aligned and these two ended up in the same city all these years later like this was a perfect rom-com. But Jake and Jupiter are not a meant to be story.” He paused for dramatic effect and you stifled a laugh as your eyes widened, curious as to where he was going. “These are two people who are so devoted to each other they were able to set aside their love for ten years to allow room for the other to grow. These are two people who are so in love they carved out space for the other in their crazy lives to show up when they were needed, how they were needed. These are two people who did the impossible… maintained a beautiful friendship despite the love they shared until the timing was right. Jake and Jupiter aren’t standing here right now because they’re meant to be, but because they chose to be.” You blinked back tears as you turned your attention from Coyote to Jake as you allowed his words to sink in.

“In the face of hundreds of obstacles and thousands of miles of distance, they chose each other. When it seemed like they should give up, they chose each other. They continue to choose each other in the face of every twist and turn life brings them. That is not destiny, or fate… that’s commitment. For richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, right here in front of each other or on the other side of the world.” Jake pulled a hand from yours to wipe a falling tear just as you moved to do the same for him. “Now, you two may exchange your vows.”

Jake cleared his throat as he took your hand again. “When I accidentally threw that dodgeball at your face in elementary school I had no idea what I was gaining… a best friend, a confidant, and a personal cheerleader. You are so ingrained in the fabric of my life that I’m not sure how I made it through those first ten years without you. Every day you inspire me, and you continually amaze me with your unending supply of love, generosity, and really bad dance moves.” He said and you pushed past your tears to scoff at him. “Today I’m saying ‘I do’ but really, I’m saying ‘I will’. I will always support you, I will always laugh and cry with you, I will always wait to watch the next episode, and more than anything I will always and forever be in love with you.” Before your brain could catch up you were tugging him into you and pressing your lips against his as everyone laughed behind you.

“Whoa whoa, we’re not there yet!” Coyote protested.

“Sorry, so sorry,” you replied as you wiped your tears and beamed up at Jake who was looking down at you in amusement. “My turn?” you asked, briefly looking at Coyote who chuckled and nodded. “Oh, Jake… when you intentionally threw that dodgeball at my face in elementary school I was certain I had gained a lifelong nemesis, but in reality I gained the love of my life. Through every challenge, no matter how close or how far, I always knew you were there. You’ve made me who I am today, and your unyielding patience and love for me is the greatest gift I’ve ever received. Today I’m not promising you anything new, because somehow throughout it all we’ve upheld a care and respect for each other that has never wavered… but still. I promise you a lifetime of bad dance moves, I promise to always be your best friend, and I promise that I will love you each and every day regardless of where we are. You are my every dream come true, and I promise to never stop dreaming with you.” Your lips were once again meeting as he cupped your face and you laughed against him as Coyote protested once more.

“My goodness, can we have the rings since these two clearly cannot wait?” he teased as Rooster and Phoenix stepped forward to hand them to the two of you. “Now, you will give these rings to each other as a sign of your love and fidelity.”

“Jake, receive this ring as a sign of my love and fidelity,” you said as you slid it onto his finger.

“Jupiter, receive this ring as a sign of my love and fidelity,” he repeated as he did the same and you both smirked at each other as your lips met once more.

“Can I please just say it? By the power vested in me by the internet I pronounce you husband and wife,” Coyote said and you wrapped your arms around Jake’s neck. “You may resume kissing,” he finished as the crowd cheered but it all faded into the background as you got lost in each other.

“I love you,” you whispered as you pulled away, quickly pecking his lips again.

“I love you, forever.”

“Do you have any idea how much I’m going to miss you?” Jake asked as you swayed on the makeshift dance floor and you just smiled softly up at him.

“I’m not gone yet… and this will be a piece of cake, we’ve gone years without seeing each other, this is just three months.” you said, in an attempt to make it all seem easier but it wasn’t. No matter what either of you said, it was going to be hard.

“I know, but I’m still going to miss you.” He twirled you around and brought you back into him, and you let your head rest on his chest as you soaked in the moment… his arms wrapped around you and the thud of his heart beneath your ear, your friends watching in admiration off to the side. This moment was perfect, everything you could have asked for and the knowledge you were leaving the day after tomorrow made it all the more bittersweet. “My Jupiter, the bravest person I’ve ever known.” he muttered, and you felt blush creep across your cheeks at his praise.

“Coming from you, Lieutenant,” you deflected and you felt a chuckle rumble through his chest. “I’m not sure I compare to the esteemed pilot with two confirmed air-to-air kills.”

“You know how to save lives with these two little hands,” he said, grasping them and holding them between you as if to further prove his point. “Brave and smart.”

“Well now you’re just flattering me, did you think you were going to get lucky tonight, Lieutenant?” you teased and he bit back a laugh.

“I’m a southern gentleman,” he said firmly as he pressed a kiss to your cheek, “I know I’m getting lucky tonight.” he whispered into your ear and you giggled as you wrapped your arms around his shoulders.

“You hope.” He nibbled on your earlobe coaxing more laughs from you, “okay, okay, I concede. I’ve been wanting to undress you from the moment I saw you.”

“That’s what I thought,” his pride at the statement would have been infuriating if it was anyone else but there was an earnestness in his sparkling green eyes that had you falling all the more in love with him.

“Dr. Seresin,” you were interrupted by Rooster who was extending a hand for you, “mind if I cut in?” You smiled as you took his hand just as Phoenix swiped Jake and you chuckled as Rooster tried to find an appropriate spot for his hand on your waist.

“First time?” you asked, not being able to help yourself and he just rolled his eyes as he tugged you closer.

“Forgive me for being a gentleman,” he mumbled and you let out a laugh. “Thank you.” he said suddenly and you raised an eyebrow at him.

“What for?”

“For introducing me to Eliza,” he replied, looking over your shoulder at the girl in question who was watching the two of you with a big grin. “She’s really incredible, I think there might actually be something there.”

“Well, I figured since I’m abandoning you it was only courteous to make sure you had someone to keep you entertained,” you said with a soft smile. “I’m glad you two are hitting it off, you deserve to be happy, Roo.”

“So do you… I’m so proud of you, J. When Hangman first mentioned you I was certain I’d hate you, if you were anything like him, but you’re all the good parts of him. And then I did hate you for a moment because he was different around you and it made him more likable,” he added and you chuckled. “But now you’re… well, you’re kind of my best friend, kid. And I’m just, uh… I’m really happy for you.”

“Roo,” you started, feeling tears well in your eyes and the moment was uncharastically emotional for the two of you. “You’re kind of my best friend too,” you said.

“Alright bird boy, it’s my turn. Get outta here,” Coyote said as he approached and you wiped your eyes with a soft laugh as Rooster passed you off.

“I expect one more duet before you leave,” he warned and you dramatically made an X over your chest to say cross my heart and hope to die.

“This suddenly feels like the farewell tour,” you said as he spun you around and you noticed that the rest of the squad was waiting for their moment with you even though they were doing their best to look nonchalant as they conversed with each other.

“It kind of is, J. You’re going to disappear with Jake tomorrow, as you should, so these are our last moments with you.”

“Don’t say that, you’re going to make me cry again,” you muttered as you laid your head on his shoulder.

“Everyone cries at weddings,” he reassured.

“I never knew you were such a romantic,” you said, referencing what he’d said during your ceremony as you lifted your head to look up at him.

“I wasn’t, not until I met the two of you. You guys are like… the blueprint, you’re what everyone else on the squad is aspiring to.”

“Well, you got your rom-com ending,” you said, calling back to that day in your house he associated your love story with Jake to a cheesy movie.

“Not at all, this is just the beginning,” he said as the music changed to an upbeat Latin tune.

“It was getting a little too somber for my taste… What do you say, J? Let’s liven the place up?” Fanboy asked you with his hand extended and you laughed as you took it, letting him pull you along as he tried to teach you how to salsa. Your laughter echoed along the beach as the party ramped up and you made sure to give each of the Dagger’s their own dance with you… giving yourself a moment to enjoy their company and say goodbye without really saying it. Bob had attempted to swing dance with you, but in reality it was him trying to help you with the moves and you just giggling as you messed up. Payback kept it classic as you chatted about his daughter, you linked hands and danced wildly with Penny and Amelia as Maverick contributed the bare minimum, and you and Phoenix gave a very NSFW performance to a nostalgic hip-hop song that had all the men in the area not related to you shifting in their seats.

“Oh, my love,” Mary said as she came to sit beside you on the beach. You’d stepped away for a moment, giving yourself time to process and let it all sink in before rejoining the party and you softly smiled as she wrapped an arm around you. “How are you feeling?”

“Overwhelmed, but in the best possible way,” you answered with a smile on your face. “And a little sad… I hadn’t realized this is the last time I’m going to see everyone for a while before Rooster had to step in and kick off the farewell tour,” you half-joked.

“Everyone in there is so proud of you, myself included. Just when I think you can’t amaze me anymore you go and one-up yourself.”

“What are you hens clucking about?” your mom asked, sitting on your other side and suddenly you were sandwiched between the two women who made you who you were.

“Just taking it all in,” you replied and she nodded beside you.

“You and Jake…” your mom started, but stopped to collect herself as her throat grew thick. “You and Jake are the best things that ever happened to us. You’ve squashed every fear a parent has, granted you’ve given us some new, bigger ones concerning your personal safety…” she trailed off, earning a chuckle from you. “You did everything right. You took everything we gave you and multiplied it into so much more, and we are so proud of both of you, sweetheart.”

“Mom…” you whispered, fighting your own tears as you rested your head on her shoulder.

“You two are larger than life, every parent’s dream. I just don’t know how we hit the kid jackpot,” Mary said just as Jake appeared before you.

“The party is devolving,” he said and you let out a laugh as he helped the three of you up. “I think this is our moment to make our escape before we get sucked into their shenanigans.”

“I suppose that’s our cue,” you said as both of your moms enveloped you in hugs. You felt completely shrouded in love as you made the rounds saying goodbye to everyone, promising to check in when you could and it went without saying that most of their updates would probably be through Jake due to limited service and time… but if there was any group that didn’t need explaining to, it was this one.

“After you, Mrs. Seresin,” Jake said with a cheeky smile as he held the car door open for you.

“Why, thank you Mr. Seresin,” you responded as you headed to your hotel for the evening, heart warm and mind fuzzy with sheer bliss.

previous part / next part

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meet-me-in-the-pouringrain · 1 year

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@lonelychicagos posted a prompt talking about an anonymous website that eventually led to the Hotchniss reunion and I took it and RAN. Here is what I hope to be part 1 of a multichapter fic. I also despise tumblr formatting nd i’m on mobile so apologies.

Here is the original prompt!

The Phoenix and the Rocket

She doesn’t know why she does it. She chalks it up to Penelope’s unwavering, relentless, quite frankly annoying efforts to get her to make friends. Or maybe it was Dave’s prodding comments about her home life. Probably Tara and JJ’s mischievous scheming during BAU drinks or Luke’s teasing. Could have been becuse of Reid’s statistics and prattling about her age and how ‘lonely people are more likely to experience depression’. Bastard. She gave him more paperwork than anyone else. Perhaps it was the jealousy that flairs in her chest whenever she watches Matt interact with his kids or when her phone pings when Derek sends a picture into their group chat of Hank standing for the first time.

Although, if asked, she’ll say it’s the wine.

Her therapist was the one who brought up the forum in the first place. “It’s a great way to meet with people, Emily” The woman told her softly towards the end of their first session. “People who have unimaginable trauma, like yourself.”

So that was how Emily Prentiss found herself on a Saturday night making an account to sign into the website ‘TraumaBuddies’. The name alone left a vile taste in her mouth, which she squished down with another gulp of red wine. It was a website where strangers can willingly dump on a public forum, opening themselves up to a conversation. Therapists have called it revolutionary ; No one helps the traumatised like the traumatised

She spends hours combing through different stories of the horrible trauma people have endured. One or twice, she comes across familiar stories that she’s almost certain we’re victims of cases her team (both past and present solved.) Her heart tugs when the username ‘KatieJacobs235’ pops up. Emily reaches out to her personally, messaging the girl who would be no doubt in her 20’s by now, more nausea swirled in her stomach at the passage of time, and types a message she hopes would be comforting.

It was the next post that made her stop scrolling entirely. The horrors the user ‘RockyRacoon’ (The Beatles song made her snort) went through was unbelievable. If Emily hadn’t seen or even been through the shit she had , she would call bs and move on.

A serial killer who got his wife, his son been the target of another, a bomb and losing another woman he loved when she died alongside countless of other trauma dumps in one go. That was incredible and inspiring to live through.

She blames the wine for the fact she didn’t draw up the similarities sooner as she types a message out.

PhoenixPren : You are inspiring. Take it from someone who’s seen a lot and been through a lot. Everything you have been through has made you stronger, and I - for one- am proud of the fact you’re still around. May I ask some questions?

And she hits send.

~~~~

Getting a ping on his laptop at 1am on a Saturday night from that goddam website his 16 year old son signed him up on was the last thing Aaron Hotchner expected. He wasn’t even the one who wrote it, Jack did it for him, and as such never actually expected anything to come of it.

“Dad, It’ll be good” Jack had said. “You can talk about everything anonymously. It might be helpful to write it all down.”

He hadn’t though, content in leaving the one post up there. Jack had said everything he would have said, anyway.

It had been hard for both of them. Being the target of serial killer would damage people well enough but the target of a second one was downright ludicrous.

When they emerged from Witsec, their old names mixing with their new - Frank and Max - and their old life threatening their new one, Jack had fell back into routine immediately. His first contact was his aunt, then his old friends. It was good, Aaron thought, that he was able to settle in. The nightmares still persisted and there were demons around every corner but Jack took his mothers genes and held his head high, going along with the flow.

Aaron couldn’t. He couldn’t return back to that life - to them, the bau, to the woman who packed up her life from another continent solely to save his ass and because he had asked her to, to Aaron. He briefly entertained the idea of picking up the phone, wondering deeply if she experienced the same identity crisis he put himself through, after he forced her into a similar situation.

He didn’t though, and he stayed hidden like a coward.

No one had opened up dialogue on the website, the ex-agent chalked it up to intimidation, until now, 3 months after it was posted. More intrigued and bored than anything, Jack was out for the night with friends, Hotch clicked the notification. His ever present frown deepened at the username, his brain fruitlessly searched for what had sparked recognition.

When nothing ultimately came up, Aaron sighed. He read over the thoughtful message multiple times, debating on a response. Jack’s words echoed in his brain. It’ll be good.

What has he got to lose?

PhoenixPren : May I ask some Questions?

RockyRacoon : Thank you for your kind words. What would you like to know?

~~~~

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

#great now i have a writing bug #i hope this is okay #i rlly like it so far i’m gonna continue it!#criminal minds #emily prentiss #aaron hotchner #hotchniss #hotchniss fanfiction #criminal minds fanfiction #tell me what you think!#The Phoenix and The Rocket

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inventors-fair · 3 months

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All For Nothing: Zero Commentary

Alright, and that's a wrap! I'd just like to thank everyone once again for all their entries this week, it really made my first stint as a judge a truly unforgettable experience. I encouraged you all to get weird with it, and by golly if you folks didn't deliver in spades. With that said, though, I feel as though there's a fine line between "weird" and "excessive." Not to say any of you crossed it, of course, it's just something to keep in mind.

But enough prattle, let's get into the thick of things!

@bergdg — Pact of Annihilation

Okay, first things first: four of these in your opening hand is a turn 1 kill. That's an easy fix, of course, just need to adjust the numbers down a tick. That aside, though, this is a lovely little piece. A pact is a natural fit this week, and this one feels more quintessentially red than the one we currently have. Very much calls to mind Pyrokinesis, although it's not without an identity of its own. Centrally, trading the card disadvantage of Pyrokinesis for the delayed payment makes the decision intriguing, and giving it the ability to hit players in exchange for a strict two target cap is super smart. It's a solid design all around, cheesy OTK notwithstanding.

@curiooftheheart — Belzym, Veteran Grafter

This is just a big ol' bundle of all things Simic, huh? Graft and Coiling Oracle, together at last. Right out of the gate, I want to say that I really appreciate the commitment to asking for specifically 0/0 creatures, rather than just either/or. That does a lot to instantly inform deckbuilding around this, but it's still open enough that players can have a "Eureka!" moment when they discover the perfect card for the strategy.

I'm not quite as sure about the reward, though. As much as I appreciate the Coiling Oracle callback, as I said, it feels a bit disconnected from the condition besides the ongoing green-blue commitment to "do thing, get value." I could maybe see the logic be that scaling X creatures like hydras would want the ramp, but with the card so flavorfully tied to graft, I don't think that quite resonates.

@hanavesinauttija — Rogkhar, Kher Keep Raid Leader

Next in the storied (which is to say, unfortunate and short-lived) line of Kheer Keep kings, here comes Rogkhar, shouting their little head off. We've seen extra combat effects with a degree of specificity before—Akki Battle Squad springs to mind—but none quite so specific as this one! With that said, as much as I appreciate the joke, part of me does think this should cost some amount of mana. Even if nothing gets to attack, there's a surprisingly high number of uses for an extra combat step, especially with all the effects these days that trigger at the beginning of combat. Not to mention the extreme synergy with hydras and their ilk, which wouldn't be quite as much of a problem if this couldn't be thrown into literally any deck that could want it. In a similar vein to Phyrexian Metamorph, it allows for an effect that's very strongly tied to its colors (in this case, extra combats) to bleed outside of it, which is potentially dangerous. Even just one red pip would go a long way, but I do really want to see this little guy succeed.

@helloijustreadyourpost — Mindbreak Phoenix

I can't think of many phoenixes that simply allow you to cast them from the yard rather than tying their revival to a trigger, but I also can't think of any other way to make this hellbent, so I won't hold it against the card. Among the most aggressive phoenixes I've seen, too, which is saying something. This thing isn't about to give your opponent a moment to breathe, and even though its defenses seem paper thin, it'll just keep coming back given half the chance. Tying the discard to being blocked is super smart, too. Suddenly, blocking this thing can almost hurt more for your opponent than letting it through, because not only will they have to lose something, but it'll bring you closer to just being able to recast the dang thing. Wicked!

@hypexion — Spectral Host Prelate

Spooooky. The idea of Phyrexian Spirits is pretty suitably terrifying. I'd say this would fit snugly in defender decks if it weren't for the incubator. In general, I think the incubator might verge on a bit of a misdirect? Outside of precisely Brimaz, incubators are generally intended to be large vanilla creatures. So, in decks built around them, the spirit may end up feeling less like a compelling reason to sacrifice them and more like consolation prize when they get removed. That's not an actual knock at that gameplay, just a bit a communication issue. And who knows, I might be overblowing it. On a gameplay level, though, this runs into the problem that if you can reduce the spirits' power to 0 through an aura effect, you've suddenly got an infinite chain of spirits, which probably necessitates a contingency. Sorry if that got a bit negative. I really like what this card is doing, I just feel like the card itself doesn't quite get that across all the way, y'know?

@jestingmaniac — Sanity Blast

Well, this certainly lives up to its name! Just roll your sanity into a ball and spike it at some poor sap like you're in gym class and they just said something particularly unflattering about your mom. That said, I think this actually might be a bit too much cost for the output you're getting. Discarding cards is usually used as a substitute for other costs, and discarding your hand even more so. Not being able to target players is smart, but limiting this to just a single target feels like a bit much. It'd have to be a very big creature that throwing your entire hand at it wouldn't feel like comical overkill. Some way to target additional permanents—or even just making this a full-on boardwipe—would go a long way, I fell. You're on the right track to making something bombastic here, but take care you don't blast your own sanity too.

@just--a--penguin — Untimely Creation

We've seen plenty of mana rocks that can animate themselves over the years, but none quite so extreme as this one. I love the idea that it only gets up the moment right before you die, but I'm seeing a few rickety parts in the execution. The idea of sitting at zero life as a last chance hit point is great, but the fact that it requires you to hit precisely zero to work means it seems like it wouldn't actually happen much. Perhaps make it a one-time version of the Fortune Thief effect to lock you at 0? The body it becomes, then, is suitably large, but without evasion or defensive utility, it may struggle to close out the game or stand fast against the presumable army bearing down on you. I love what you're doing here, but it's just not quite there.

@misterstingyjack — Zeke, Zero Theorist

In contrast to some of these cards, this one is comparatively quite straightforward. Make big modular creatures, swing in for big number, with an attached fractal to jumpstart the process. Especially with how big some hydras can get, the ability to just entirely sidestep blockers is quite fearsome. Straightforward is good, though! It's clearly stating what it wants you to do with it, and a lot of people will be drawn to it. The one part where I think the straightforwardness hurts it, though, is the choice to use fractals. Fractals made a name for themselves by having all sorts of weird ways to scale their power that were often completely unique to the card that generated them, so a flat X/X feels...not bad, just stings of missed potential.

@mudthing — Possibility Tender

Next up is this adorable little sprout, here to teach us about the importance of the number zero, and also the importance of scale. A mana dork that draws you cards is certainly a tempting prospect, and we've seen this kind of design before, where it rewards you for spending the mana on a specific type of spell. A word of caution, though: the existing versions of this effect (specifically Battery Bearer and Gilanra, Caller of Wildwood) both require you to cast high-cost spells to draw cards, which require high commitment and can't be cast until later in the game. Comparatively, casting a zero power creature every turn is far more achievable, which means this has the potential to produce a truly dizzying amount of value, even more so with multiple copies. A higher mana cost or a reward a bit smaller than drawing a card could do a lot, though!

@nine-effing-hells — Aspect of Progenitus

With all this talk of hydras, you'd think there would be more hydras this week than just the one, but oh, what a hydra this is! Protection from spells is a really clever derivative of Big P's protection from everything, and the shift from five colors to just Naya feels so natural as to just be a no-brainer. This is another one of those cards that encourage you to convoke them down to zero, but having these be a modular spell rather than a fixed cost you have to chew through changes the gameplay significantly. Suddenly, it's not a binary yes/no decision, and there's a whole range of options depending on exactly how much of each resource you have available. Oh, I just adore it! I can feel confident saying that no matter what you put into this, you'll feel like you got your mana's worth, which is always the place to be for X spells.

@partialgardens — Unity

This is a strange one, to say the least. Mana value isn't a characteristic Wizards has every really explored, although there's technically nothing stopping you from messing with it. The card on the surface reads like a hate piece, but I struggle to actually call it that. You said in your submission that you intended it to synergize with all the removal that only targets creatures with low mana value, and I can kind of see that...but the larger problem is, the only cards that care about the mana value of creatures on the field are more or less those removal spells, or otherwise cards meant to be pointed at your opponent's stuff. So, I can't think of many situations where this disrupts someone's strategy based on that. The color removal is more on the right track, but it's still very specific, and actually works against the swathe of white effects that care about white creatures. A fascinating concept, but I think this is crying out for some amount of objective power if you want the effect to be this specific. Even something as simple as attaching it to a body or having it draw on entry.

@phyrexiandreadthot — The Void Engine

To say the least, this one's a house and a half. Hoo boy. Okay so, first off, I appreciate the forethought to have a measure against cheating this out, but I fear you may have gone a bit lenient with it. For one, plenty of decks have no issues hardcasting this early. I'm sure any tron player would salivate at the idea of casting this on turn 3 and promptly dumping their entire hand onto the table. Also, the fact that this only wipes the once means it's entirely possible to just rebuild afterwards (aided by the obscene discounts this gives you), even if it didn't also hamstring your opponent. It also crucially misses nonland permanents that produce mana, meaning that careful setup could make this barely set you back at all.

Beyond that, the fact that the cost reduction applies to abilities as well, and without the clause seen on cards like Training Grounds that prevents the cost from being reduced below one, means this is liable to create all sorts of hilarious infinite combos (every generated infinite black mana with Initiates of the Ebon Hand?). As I mentioned earlier, the Praetor-like reflection of the effect on your opponent is positively crippling, ratcheting up every cost they pay as much as double. Furthermore, this also means that the best counter to a Void Engine is another Void Engine, as colorless decks are hit the hardest.

On a rules level, while the effects groks well, "generic mana costs" are still mostly unexplored in the rules. As well, "rather than pay" as language usually refers to replacing an entire cost, rather than a part of it. All in all, this is a crazy ambitious design that I respect the intent of, but I think you may have flown a bit too close to the sun.

@railway-covidae — Miser's Bargain

I really want to love this card, and it's so, so close, but it runs into one crucial issue that plagues so many designs: memory. Every effect so far that modifies hand size is either a static ability of a permanent, or sets that number to infinity. Without any built-in aid, tracking whichever number between 0 and 7 you set your maximum hand size to across multiple turns sounds like a headache, and can possibly even cause irreparable gamestates if you end up forgetting. The effect is gorgeous, though, presenting a real spectrum of choices that has merits in choosing either end. Although, I'm not sure for what reason besides symmetry you' allowed people're allowed to choose 7, given that causes the spell to resolve without effect. Oh, and also tasteful reference to the obscure Miser cycle from original Kamigawa. Those guys are neat!

@real-aspen-hours — Teachings of the Void

First off, it's "you draw a card and lose 1 life." Sorry, that's the pedant in me speaking, and I see that mistake a lot. The rest of me, though, says that I like this card a lot. I love the tension of a card that ideally wants you to have an empty hand, but draws you cards. Naturally the best way to play it is to simply empty your opponent(s) hands with discard, but the fact that you also have to find a way to empty your own hand every turn to get the best results is a fascinating play pattern. I'm not entirely confident in the decision to make this an uncommon, though, especially paired with the ETB effect. That, or maybe adjust the cost just slightly up. Just minor tweaks, though! The core here is very strong.

@wifeswarmacademy — Shoo Away

The name and the flavor here are great, immediately. Following on the heels of such stars like Access Denied and Didn't Say Please, it's always fun to inject of bit of levity into your countermagic. The card's all-around solid, too, though I will say that leaves me wanting a bit more. Specifically, Remand (and more recently, Reprieve) can do the same thing with fewer hoops to jump through, and I feel that this one would stand out more with a reward just a little more bombastic than drawing a card. Convoke on countermagic is a bit tricky, too, as holding up creatures is far less visible to your opponent than holding up mana, which could potentially create some pretty feels-bad moments. Although, there aren't many examples of it yet, so I'm really just speculating. Now, shoo!

@wildcardgamez — Voidheart Core

An alternate level up cost, eh? Well, you've certainly got my attention right out of the gate. The fact that it's not a creature until it's levelled up is also a fascinating twist. A manaless 2/2 that requires you to sacrifice some resources is pretty hefty, but perfectly workable in the right deck. It's past that you start to lose me, though. Eight more sacrifices to boost it up to a vanilla 6/6 is a huge ask, and I'm not sure how much you're liable to have left to sacrifice once you get there. Level up is famously hard to judge without playing with it, though, so I'll give it the benefit of the doubt and leave it at the fact that I love the concept.

That's zero entries left, and I'm feeling pretty zeroed out myself. See you next time!

@spooky-bard

#mtg #magic the gathering #custom magic card #inventor's fair #commentary #zero contest

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lilithfairen · 1 year

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So, onto the eighteenth episode of the shitshow that is known as "Fixing RWBY". It's called "Trust and Reconciliation".

It starts off with Cordovin prattling about casualties and base personnel, with Dee and Dudley prattling in turn, and it's all completely boring and pointless.

We then cut to Adam, being dragged through the base. We get a flashback, with Adam's mother telling him that their landlord (who was implied to be abusing Adam's mother, as an attempt to paint Adam as more sympathetic FUCK YOU CELTIC PHOENIX). He then stabs the landlord in the leg, but then it cuts back to present with Adam being thrown in a cell.

Team RWBY report to Cordovin and mention how Adam kicked their asses FUCK YOU CELTIC PHOENIX. Cordovin then flips her shit, because she ordered Team RWBY to go to the wall to fend off the Grimm, and because they ran from Adam, all the Grimm followed them and caused all kinds of death and destruction

FUCK YOU YOU TALENTLESS MANBABY

Celtic Phoenix wrote the protagonists of this show, heroines who face danger bravely and risk their lives to protect others, as a bunch of fucking cowards who ran like babies the moment the Strong Man arrived. And now Celtic Phoenix wants to bash them more, for the shitty misogynistic writing choice THIS FUCKING ASSHOLE MADE.

Ahem.

Cordovin craps on them some more, then takes back the stupid deal she made to take Team RWBY to Atlas and kicks them out. Qrow is outside waiting for them, but Ruby acts like a jerk to him and whines about what a loser that Celtic Phoenix has written her to be. Anyway, because all of our heroines need a man to tell them what to do, Qrow gives her a pep talk. Ruby swears they're going to get the Relic back and get to Atlas.

So, literally everything between Ruby making the deal with Cordovin and here was a complete waste of time. It ended up going nowhere, with our protagonists meandering about and doing nothing while the plot was ground to an absolute stand-still, only for Cordovin to abrupt yank permission at the last second.

Because of course she did. Because Celtic Phoenix cannot actually come up with his own story, so now he has to go back to ripping off canon V6. They're going to steal the plane now, and it's going to somehow be justified to the stains who praise this trash-heap of a "rewrite", because they're stealing from That Bitch Who Was Racist Towards Adam. Literally the only thing Team RWBY needed to be validated in going around Cordovin was for Cordovin to be Bad towards a Man.

And note that, despite the fact that Adam just murdered a bunch of innocent people and caused more death and destruction, CELTIC PHOENIX IS STILL TRYING TO PAINT HIM AS SYMPATHETIC FUCK YOU YOU MANBABY

Edit: Also note that the role of Qrow and Ruby in the build-up to the ship theft is reversed, with Ruby being the pessimistic sullen one and Qrow being the confident one. Because again, fucking loser manbaby can't stand a story where the main characters are women.

#fixing rwby #rwby critics #misogyny in hatedom

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phoenixflames12 · 19 days

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I just

I’m so tired of looking after people. Of being the responsible one.

I just want someone to look after me

#personal #phoenix prattle #tired phoenix

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hollowflight-propaganda · 17 days

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Okay, so looking at my notes about Clay, he:

1: Believes himself to be solely responsible for keeping his siblings safe no matter the cost because he's the biggest and oldest (by like 20 seconds mind you)

2: Blames EVERYTHING that goes wrong on himself, to the point where he genuinely holds himself responsible for the deaths of others he has only been a witness for

3: Would rather die then let his loved ones worry about him because That's His Job and He's Fine, He Swears It

4: Was probably the one who got beaten by Kestrel the most as a kid because she was "trying to make that monster come out," and she wouldn't stop until he was unconscious

5: Believed for his whole childhood that there was really a "monstrous" side of his waiting to overtake him, and possibly that it would go after the only people he cares for in the world again

6: Thinks himself to be a failure because he can't be that monster, that he's the weak link in the prophecy, and that he has nothing to offer except HIS OWN LIFE

And one more that is my own speculation, 7: Puts up a front of being nothing but a lovable goof and foodie so that no one will look beyond the surface and realize that he has fears and doubts of his own. Because he's supposed to be the foundation, and he can't crumble on them. Besides, it's not like a monster who's at the center of everything bad that's happened to them deserves love, right?

In conclusion, the lad's due for a breakdown and I'm THIS CLOSE to making him go through it myself.

#clay. oh clay #my poor oh so very underrated guy #but hey! I managed to get his cutie cuff yesterday so now I CAN actually hug him >:)#anyway might continue the reread tomorrow. we shall see #clay wof #wings of fire #wof #phoenix rereads wof #phoenix prattles

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daedor · 2 months

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Starting off on Game Grumps' playthrough of Ace Attorney: Justice for All after getting through their first game playthrough, and honestly, it's iconic that it literally took less than a single day in court for Phoenix to get back into his old habits.

This man literally didn't know who he was and he still had the reasoning skills to win a case. And he's a legend for that.

#ace attorney #ace attorney: justice for all #ace attorney phoenix wright #phoenix wright #daedor prattle

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allkinds-oftrash · 2 years

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Magic Jake

A/N: Hey everyone, first off shout out to @cassiopeiaeuropa for the amazing prompt that can be found here! While our MC does have a name, it can be read as a WoC!Reader fic :)

A HUGE thanks to my beta reader and dear friend Trivia @hptriviachamp who has never seen the film but was really invested in this fic and helped me hone this fic over the last week and helped write a few of the lines! Also shouting this out to my new found Top Gun friends @magneticghouls and @mavswife for hyping me up and always listening to me gab about our little gay pilot movie. Anyways this is my first time writing something steamy so go easy on me - happy reading everyone!

[Note: So I wrote this way before I got fully invested in backstories and ages so in my mind Hang is 25 and the crew are 20-something year olds in their mid 20s to early 30s]

EDIT: Can’t believe I didn’t add this to the fic the first time around but this was the song I had on loop and have a listen while reading for the vibes:

They say your 21st birthday was one you never forget. Sahara most definitely had one for the ages. While it wasn't his 21st, she knew Hangman certainly remembered hers.

As any great best friends would, they threw her a party at a Go-Go club near their local Naval Air Base. It was your usual club scene: music blaring so loud you could hardly hear yourself, warm bodies sliding over each other and drinks sloshing in their cups as the patrons swayed back and forth in a boozy haze. She wasn't much of a party girl but hey you don't turn 21 everyday.

Letting her friends navigate, she was careful not to bump into anyone or get drinks spilled on her. This was her favourite dress after all. She loved how the gold brought out the glow of her dark brown skin and how it fit perfectly on her. Best of all, it had pockets!

The group of girls made their way to the bar and she couldn't help but gawk at the Go-Go dancers on the bar top. They had every kind of first responder there in skimpier versions of their uniforms. She always did have a thing for men in uniform. Her friends were cheering at the men and they came armed with dollar notes to stuff in the dancers’ underwear while she went to get them drinks.

***

It had been a long day at training on base today and the Young Guns needed to unwind. They usually go to the Hard Deck but Payback was told about this up-and-coming Go-Go bar nearby. Fanboy said all the girls loved them in their uniforms and there were dancers for Phoenix. To which she had responded she preferred the women at the bar.

Hangman was just always looking for a good time so, of course, he agreed. He scanned the room, to see who he would bring home tonight. He got his friends' order and started to head to the bar. He made his way around the club stealthily. He had an artful way of avoiding physical contact with people until he wanted to.

Both Sahara and him made their way to the bar at the same time and ordered in sync. She chuckled softly and offered to let him go first.

“No, it’s alright," he said with a shake of his head and a heartstopping smile, "Ladies’ first.” He moved aside for her to go ahead. She hated to admit it but coupled with his warm eyes and grin, it worked. He really did have a charming smile that made her breath hitch for a moment. At this point, she took a moment to really look at him. He looked like the Popular Jock archetype from a teen movie. Everything about him screamed All-American Ken doll to her from his side-slicked hair, clean shaven look to his bright green eyes. She was willing to bet that he was a quarterback back in the day, the kind of guy who thought he was a hot-shot in some Texas - she had detected a slight accent - high school in the middle of nowhere.

Finally the bartender came over and snapped her out of staring at him. She dipped her head gratefully at Hangman and ordered. She turned to him after she had prattled off the group's drinks.

“Why don’t we order together. What would you like?” She offered so he wouldn’t have to wait either. He quirked up the side of his mouth in an amused grin and gave her the crew’s orders for her to pass along. He had seen her staring moments ago and had a smug smile. Now, he was certainly interested in getting to know her. Just maybe, he had found the person to bring home tonight. He returned the favour of staring back at her as she relayed their orders to the bartender.

She had the kind of beauty that required a second look. He studied her for a few moments, to take all of her in. She certainly took him by surprise as he was checking her out. She seemed very friendly, even with strangers like him and the bartender. Her eyes were a brown that radiated warmth and he could feel her full attention when she talked to him. It was the way her nose scrunched up trying to remember the order and the disarming way she smiled at him when asking about his drinks. His eyes then sweeped down the curve of her neck leading right to the main event.

Her breasts were hard to miss. It was a very nice pair if he could say so himself. Voluptuous and seemed very snug, resting comfortably in her dress' bust. Of course, who could miss the birthday sash across her chest? It came with the territory. He forced himself to look into her eyes when she turned to him.

“That’s a lot of drinks for one person.” She joked after she had placed the order. He couldn’t help but how her eyes glittered in amusement. She did have gorgeous eyes. She was beautiful, what else could he ask for in a one night stand?

“Oh, I usually can drink anyone under a table but no, those are for my team back there.” He gestured to a group of uniformed men and women. She followed his eyeline and a few of them caught her eye. She waved at them to be friendly. As the drinks came, they split their drinks between them and Hangman paid before she could get her wallet out. For an All-American hotshot, he was pretty generous.

“You didn’t have to do that.” She smiled as she took out her own cash to pay him back.

“No, think of it as a birthday present.” He smirked, brushing her hand aside. Before she could ask how he knew, he gestured to her sash. “Hard not to notice it. Happy Birthday.” He wished her before sauntering away to his group. She just stared at him as he walked over to his table. It felt like a dream. A guy buying her a whole round for her birthday and not expecting anything in return? It felt too good to be true. She gave her head a small shake, not going to overthink it anymore, and headed back to her own group.

Her friend nudged her playfully, “That was a really cute guy, did you get his number?”

She couldn’t help but laugh but shook her head no. “Come on, today is about us, I don’t need a guy intruding on girls’ night.” Sahara declared, holding her drink up and had everyone clink their glasses together.

“No, but we DO need some dancers here!” Another one of her friends cheered as they went to get some of the dancers for their group. Sahara needed a few more drinks before she could work up the nerve to want a lap dance, so for the first part of the night, she redirected the men to her friends.

As the night wore on, Sahara saw her friends get more sloppy and very much inebriated. One of them started to wander off, her eyes lighting up as she spotted Hangman. She recognised him from earlier but couldn’t quite place how she knew him. Seeing him in uniform, she immediately jumped to the conclusion that he had to be a dancer. Sahara’s friend downed another shot and made a beeline for him to ask him to give Sahara a dance.

Hangman was just shooting the shit with his friends as they did every Friday going into their weekend off. The night was still young, and this was around the time he picked up the girl and headed back to his place. But he wasn’t going to go over to Birthday Girl to beg. Jake ‘Hangman’ Seresin never begged. He loved it when they came to him. Besides, his part was done - buying her drinks. Now, it was her move. Unfortunately for him, she was taking longer than they usually did. He had been sneaking looks at her all night to see if she was ever going to come over, and the constant glances didn’t go unnoticed by his friends.

Coyote was the first one to notice - of course, his ex-turned-best friend knew him the best. He playfully teased Hangman, “Found your target for the night?” Coyote was loud enough that the whole crew turned to look at her across the room.

Oblivious to the attention, Sahara was just sipping her drink and smiling at her friends enjoying themselves with the dancers. She genuinely seemed to delight in their joy. Her dark hair swayed as she bobbed along to the thumping bass of the generic EDM that was playing through speakers. Hangman was personally a country music man but he took personal satisfaction in going one night without Rooster unplugging the music to play Great Balls of Fire. It was a good song, a great song even but to hear him play it every other weekend was ruining the song for everyone.

There was something endearing about the way Sahara was more than happy to let her friends have the fun on her birthday. Maybe he could show her some fun.

Halo and Phoenix were the first ones to pick up on Hangman practically undressing her with his eyes. They clicked their tongues disapprovingly at the boys.

“Bagman, leave her alone.” Phoenix piped up warningly while Halo finished the sentence, “Yeah, it’s her birthday, Hang, I’m sure she wants to be left alone on a girls’ night.”

“Hey, birthday sex is always great. Don’t knock on it until y’all have tried it.” He said smoothly as a drunk girl stumbled over to their table. She had a toothy grin directed at him. This was clearly someone on a mission.

“Are you lost, sweetie?” Halo nevertheless asked in her gentlest voice. Hangman couldn’t help but smile softly. Halo was honestly the nicest person he had met at Top Gun, but she was ruthless in the air. The stranger shook her head and then pointed at him. Hangman gestured to himself as if to say ‘Me?’, slightly confused.

“Hiiii,” She slurred in a high pitched voice, and took a moment to get out the words. She was drunk drunk. “I know you’re on your break right now, but I think my friend would love a dance from you! It’s her birthday, so you can’t say no!” She pouted as if that would help her case. As if sad drunk girls pouting were men’s kryptonite and well, she wasn't wrong. Hangman couldn't say no to that face. The moment she mentioned birthday, he knew exactly who she was talking about. Just to make sure, he looked over at where the drunk girl was pointing. Sure enough, it was Birthday Girl.

The crew was too stunned to speak. They couldn't believe that someone actually mistook him for one of the dancers. Rooster was the first one to break the silence with a snort.

"Oh honey, he's not-"

"Shut the hell up, Bradshaw." Hangman hissed at him immediately, shutting Rooster down. He was flattered to be mistaken and more than happy to try to live up to the expectation. Now, even more so to prove Rooster wrong. He turned to the girl and put on his sweetest smile.

"Of course I can, sweetheart. Lead the way." He stood up and started to follow her. He gave his friends a cheeky grin and two finger salute as he walked away. This burst their bubble of shock and Phoenix was the first one to laugh.

"He's going to crash and burn."

"Care to wager on that?" Payback asked the team, his eyes bright. Fritz took off his baseball cap to serve as their winnings pot and everyone started to toss their bills in.

"My question is how the hell did he get asked?" Rooster folded his arms, huffing in annoyance. Coyote elbowed him playfully.

"Jealous it wasn't you?"

"God, you sound just like him." Fanboy teased.

Yale was the one who ended up shushing them.

"Hey guys, shut up! He's actually doing it." He pointed across the room where Hangman was chatting her up. Instantly, 10 camera phones came up and were recording. With the exception of Bob who was mortified for everyone involved. Yet, he couldn't look away. None of them could. They watched with bated breath as Hangman went over to make his move.

Hangman strutted over to the birthday party, his eyes gleaming. He's never done this before but there's a first time for everything. As always, he's going to be the best at it. It was going to be so easy having her be his first. I mean look at her. She was hot. He could already imagine running hands down those curves. He saw the exact moment she realised he was prowling towards her. Her eyes were wide and her lips parted as she flushed. Her long, toned legs flexed in front of her as though she was bracing for him. He imagined them wrapped around his waist, her high heels digging into his back as she urged him on.

"Saharaaaaa, look what I got you!" Her friend excitedly presented Hangman to her with jazz hands. Sahara looked up from her drink in surprise.

"So we meet again, sugar." He had on his shit-eating grin. There's that Southern charm, she thought to herself.

"So we do." She echoed before looking at her friend curiously, "What exactly did you get me, babe?"

"A stripper!" She cheered and raised her glass with their other friends. They all started to egg Hangman on. He flashed her friends a dazzling smile at their encouragement.

Barely able to contain himself, he positioned himself in front of the Birthday girl. He leaned in close to her. Her hair seemed shiny and soft to touch. He could already imagine how they'd feel between his fingers pulling them. His fingers playfully tapped up to his zipper as he took his time to slowly unzip his jumpsuit. He was already teasing her. Her friends were eating it up and cheering for them.

She couldn’t tell if it was the tantalising way he dragged the zipper down or how close he was to her, but she felt herself getting hot under the collar. There was just something about the way he looked at her with those intense green eyes. It made her blush. It was the kind of intense blush that went down to your neck and you felt yourself go warm all over. It made her still in her seat, curious to see what he was going to do next. She honestly didn’t know what to do with herself. That was the main reason she had declined lap dances all night. She didn’t want them to feel awkward just because she was.

Hangman recognised the nervous look in her eye. Hell, he didn’t even know what he was doing. But he had watched Magic Mike and Burlesque, and figured he knew enough. He did his best to move his body against hers - dancing sensually while shrugging off his jumpsuit. Those strippers made it look so easy. Having those rippable velcro costumes most likely helped. He scoffed to himself.

He finally had his jumpsuit off, leaving only his undershirt and boxers on. He pressed his body against her, his hips flushed against hers. He leaned over to whisper to her. His lips were so close to her ear, his warm breath tickled her, earning a giggle from her.

“Just relax, I’ve got you.”

“What do I do with my hands?” She whispered back as her friends cheered once more.

“WOOO SAHARA GET IT GIRL!” She cringed at their shamelessness and shot him an apologetic look.

He waved them off, and made her focus on him. He took her hands and guided them to his undershirt.

“You can help me take this off.” He smirked as she started to lift it, “And feel free to look at them, I don’t mind. It’s a part of the job description.”

She snorted at his last line. "I'm fairly certain real strippers don't have this many layers. " She murmured as she pulled off his shirt.

He clicked his tongue as he hovered over her. "Appreciate that I'm the real deal, sweetheart." He then bent down to her eye level as she completely took his shirt off. The intense way they stared at each other did her blushing no favours. It took a moment before she was able to tear her eyes away from him. His abs easily caught her eye next. They were extremely well defined, as though they were sculpted from marble. All she could think about was running her hands over them, taking in every single detail of them and committing it to her memory.

In short, they were gorgeous and nothing short of perfect that she couldn't stop staring.

In one smooth move, he took the top from her and put it around the back of her neck - closing the gap between them. She couldn't help but marvel at his body up close. He did say she could stare and then she decided to take it one step further. She looked up at him with a mischievous grin as she reached out to touch them, feeling like Peggy Carter in the first Captain America film. She grew more self-assured as she started to drag her fingers down to his happy trail. This elicited a soft, satisfied moan from Hangman. She grinned at the reaction and became more bold. Pulling him by the waistband of his underwear, she encouraged him to grind on her. "Well, Mr. Real Deal, show me what you've got."

"Tell me what you like, sweetheart." His voice was low and he dropped the shirt in favour of sitting on her lap. He started to move his hips against her. His fingers ran down her arms, giving her goosebumps.

"This is a good start." She said breathlessly, holding his hips and guiding him at the speed she liked. She could feel warmth pooling in her underwear.

He held her firm by her waist, his large hands fitting perfectly against her curves. He kept going at it for a few more minutes, her hips slightly bucking up to his to close whatever was left of the space between them. He saw the way she was hungrily taking in his abs. He did her a favour and lifted himself ever so slightly to show them off more. She whimpered softly at the loss of contact and pulled him back down before he could.

"No, keep going." She gasped as she was getting close. A smug grin made its way onto his face. He loved it when they wanted more of him. He wasn't going to stop anytime soon. As she held him in place, his hands started to wander. He wanted to explore every inch of her before the night ended.

"Happy to oblige, sugar." He flashed her his best smile and got to work. He then grabbed her thighs and had her wrap them around him. Just as he was pressing his length against her, he felt someone pull him back. Both Hang and Sahara groaned at being ripped apart. The sudden coolness of the air took them by surprise. She sucked in a breath as she looked up at the stranger.

Rooster cleared his throat, snapping them out of their bubble. "Pack it up, Hangman. It's starting to look like a porno." At his words, Sahara's cheeks started to turn a deep red once it hit her they were in public.

Hangman groaned but relented. Rooster was right. It was a public space and his flight suit with the Navy patches was discarded on the floor. It wasn't a good look. He was quick to put on the jumpsuit and zipped it up as if their little strip tease hadn't happened.

He turned to Rooster with a sour look, "A porno, really? What, were you filming on camera?" He scoffed, being sarcastic. What he didn't expect was for Rooster to hold his phone with the video.

"We got you on 10 different angles, Hang." He gestured to the rest of the team.

"Fuck you Rooster." Hangman flipped him off then narrowed his eyes at his team. Turning to Sahara, he gave her an assuring smile.

"You alright, sweetheart?"

"I'm fine." She mumbled and had a hand covering her face in embarrassment. She was desperately trying to cover up how violently she was blushing. Hangman shooed Rooster away as he perched himself on the armrest of her chair. He lazily dangled his arm around her.

"I'll tell them to delete the videos." He promised her. She shook her head.

"No, it's not that - I bet you looked hilarious." She chuckled. Rooster joined her, having overhead it.

"She's a keeper, Hang."

"A little privacy please, Brad Squared." Hangman knew how much Rooster hated being called that. It was enough to get him to leave after glaring.

"I'm just surprised at how much I enjoyed that." She admitted to Hangman quietly once they were finally left alone. He gave her a teasing grin.

"Don't get lap dances very often?"

"Well, I suspect you don't do them very often either." She countered.

He clicked his tongue in agreement and then reached out to tuck her hair behind her ear, “Well, I’m glad you enjoyed it, darlin', I did too.”

There was just something special about him and the charismatic way that he drew her in. She definitely liked him and didn’t want their night to end. She snuck a look at her friends to check in on them. They all looked done for the night. This emboldened her to make her proposition.

“Hey, do you want to go back to my place?”

This caught him off guard, it was usually him asking the question of the night. He had to admit it: it was pretty hot when the other person made the first move. He was not going to complain, he accomplished his mission for the night.

“I would love that.” He said, doing his best to be nonchalant. Then gestured to their group of friends, “We should probably tell them, and maybe in your case get them home?”

Sahara glanced over at her friends, most of them already passed out in their seats. She nodded, agreeing. “I’ll meet you out front in 15?”

“Sounds like a plan.” They split off as Sahara called Ubers for her friends.

Hangman strutted back to his crew with a smug look. The whole gang groaned when they saw his face. Money was being passed around from most of them with defeated looks and most of the cash going to Coyote, Yale and Payback.

“Always bet on Hang to get the person!” Coyote hollered while Yale high fived him. Payback just snickered, “I don’t know how he does it, he always ends up taking them home, y'all.” He was relishing in being able to live up to his name. Everyone always paid back Payback.

He shook his head amused at the gang, “Any of you want to front me cash for the Uber?” He asked the three who won the bet. Of course, his boy, Coyote came through and fished out a couple of bills. Hangman took them gratefully and tipped an imaginary hat at him.

"Thanks, buddy."

“Thank you for always scoring, Hang.” He snickered and Hangman left his friends behind after bidding them good night.

***

When he exited the club, he immediately clocked her standing by the curb. She was smiling sweetly at the last group of friends as she sent them off in the Uber. She gave them one last wave before wrapping her arms around her coat, trying to keep warm. Then she started to look around for him. Her eyes lit up the moment it met his.

“Hey stranger.” He came up to her with his signature cocky smile.

“After what we did back there, I think we’re a little more than that. And we haven’t even exchanged names.” She laughed lightly. They did all that and he still didn’t know her name.

“It’s Sahara, right? That’s what your friends were calling you.”

She was pleasantly surprised he remembered. That Rooster guy did call him Hangman but that had to be his codename or something.

“Bingo.”

“Like the desert?”

“Hangman, like the game?”

“Touché. Actually, I’m Jake Seresin but you can call me anything you like, sweetheart.” He winked at her and she couldn’t help but giggle.

“Are you always this cliché?”

“I am.” He then draped his aviator jacket over her shoulders to prove the point further. “And I’m even going to cover our cab fare.” He said as he flagged down a cab. Her eyes softened at how kind he was being.

“God, you’re a dream.” She said in awe and couldn’t wait to get him back to her place. She gave the cabbie her address before turning to Jake. She grabbed the lapels of his jumpsuit and pulled him closer to her.

“I’ve been wanting to do this all night.” She closed the small gap between them and kissed him.

Part 2

#top gun #Top Gun Maverick #Jake Hangman Seresin #jake hangman seresin x reader #Jake hangman seresin x oc #Top Gun Maverick fanfic #Sanji Writes #Spotify

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yerevasunclair · 2 years

Text

Another Miracle

“Your heart is beating very fast.” Ned said as he snuggled his head on her chest. It’s already been an hour or more since they finished and he thought they’d have calmed down by now.

Cat kept her silence as she kept stroking his hair and keeping his body against her, still figuring out how to express her baffling emotions.

How did this happen? She asks herself once again.

Because we didn’t use protection, idiot.

But why would they need one in the first place? How could they remember to use it at that moment of desperation as well as victory? They’ve survived many crises, from being nearly overthrown from their business, to the defiance of their children, to the disparities of their judgement and methods. They were falling apart during those five years but neither of them would see their marriage collapse and be broken into irreparable pieces.

“I should roll off now.” Ned attempted to relieve her of his weight, knowing it was causing her discomfort but Cat tightly wrapped her limbs around him as if her life depended on it.

“Me neck is stiff, Cat.” He nuzzled his nose on her clavicle.

“Oh, I’m sorry”, Cat released him from her hold and turned to the side where he lied.

He faced her to adore her small and lovely face that was speaking of many worries she’s been trying to hide. He caressed her cheek and his thumb brushed her lips, waiting for her to open up to him.

“Ned, I have to tell you something”, she took his hand and held it to her side. She just had to tell him directly instead of taking the leisure to present it in some other fancy manner.

“What is it about, love?”

“I’m pregnant!”

“Really?” he grinned in surprise as well as disbelief. That was always his response to the news.

“Do you want a boy or girl?” she asks him.

“We have too many sons. We need another little lady like you. By the way, when did you find out?”

“3 days ago. At first, I thought I was starting to go through menopause so I went to the doctor to ask advice how I can manage through this stage. The doctor gave me a general check-up and the tests revealed that I was actually pregnant.”

“Pregnant at 47. That’s a miracle.” he said.

“Yes, we’ve always prayed and tried hard to have one last baby. But that was when Rickon was still two and a half years old and you thought that your football team lacked a calm and composed midfielder because the six pups were all aggressive.”

“You named our kids the Stark Wolves of Winterfell Football Club and that inspired me more to create our logo and jersey shirt designs. Hahaha.”

“You printed so many! Four designs in four different colors for each of us.”

“And accidentally, for Phoenix.”

“Phoenix?”

“Our Player #8. Minisa Phoenix, if it’s a girl or Sean Phoenix, if it’s a boy.” Ned said with so much enthusiasm, missing the pleasure of teaching another toddler some kicking skills.

“My mother and grandfather’s first names.. I love that.” Catelyn smiled and thought that Sean or Seana would be the most perfect, since it means ‘God is gracious’ or ‘God’s gracious gift’.

Then he prattled on, “You told me that time you might be pregnant, so I impulsively called the shop to have another set done and they finished it within the day! I claimed it right away, had it gift-wrapped for the upcoming baby shower and when I came home, you told me it was a false alarm. I’ve hidden it in that old briefcase above the cabinet ever since...Cat, you’re crying...”

She hadn’t noticed until Ned told her that and wiped the tear flowing to her nose with his gentle finger. His touch made her break down.

“I just don’t know if I should be happy or sad. I don’t know why I’m pregnant now when it’s already too late and dangerous, Ned. I honestly don’t know if I can do this.” she said as she covered her weeping face with her hands.

She tried to be hopeful, comforting herself with the fact that she has friends in their 40s who were blessed enough to have 2 children with no complications at all. Yet, she also has some friends who have been unfortunate, miscarriages and stillbirths that are either explained by common causes or occurred by chance even when they did everything right. As for her, she believes she was most likely going to lose this child that she wished they never had this child in the first place. She could not bear, much less imagine the anguish. Now she prays to God, quietly but deeply like never before, to please give her good health and great strength to bring this precious gift out into the world.

“Come here, Cat.” Ned moved closer to her and invited her to the safety of his arms. He didn’t know what to say. He thinks she’s a bit silly for doubting herself, considering she’s an athletic woman who first had twins and 4 single births. She has completely given up smoking and drinking alcohol decades ago before becoming a mother and she has top doctors to look after her. Would it help to tell her nothing would go wrong? Would that defeat her apprehension? No. He’s learned better not to invalidate her (or even his) feelings anymore.

“I’m just as afraid as you.”

He kissed her forehead, loosened his firm embrace and rubbed on her back to allow her to breathe. Being with her was the best that he could do and that was all the reassurance that she needed.

-end-

for @pattarainn

@nedlynstan

@ladycatofwinterfell

@shining-m00nlight

#ned x cat #nedlyn #modern ned stark #catelyn stark #ned x catelyn #cat x ned #catelyn tully stark #eddard x catelyn #eddard x cat #eddard stark #game of thrones fanfic #house stark mafia au #pre-clyde

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