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cruelsister-moved2 · 1 year

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this is the weirdest transandro.phobia strawman ive ever seen like comparing the fact that ablebodied people will say disabled people’s bodies are triggering and something people need to be protected from to women who have some form of discomfort with men due to genuine trauma they have experienced. literally NO one is out here claiming men shouldn’t be allowed to exist in public or something, it’s genuinely just an excuse to be uncharitable towards traumatised people also the classic truther rhetoric of drawing in instances of gender conforming women saying masc women r scary/white women saying black men are scary etc in order to legitimise their claim that men r oppressed or “masculinity is oppressed” while ignoring the fact it’s actually specifically how these groups are failing at cis white male masculinity that gets them in trouble. honestly treating ‘people finding you scary’ as a consequence of oppression is silly as hell when being perceived as intimidating simultaneously allows privileged men to get away with sexual assault + gets black men killed by police. again white men designed the patriarchy on purpose to be beneficial to them, being found intimidating is a feature not a bug!! the fact its designed to be able to deploy the accusation of posing a threat against marginalised people in order to victimise them (whether or not they are men, btw, since black, trans, and masc women suffer worse from this whilst simultaneously having even less power to actually make it so) does not then mean marginalised people are actually the Real Oppressors for having legitimate feelings of discomfort and hesitation around their oppressors

#the idea in general that like being perceived as a threat = oppression is stupid as hell sorry #its also like..almost blaming the person?#like when armed police shoot an unarmed person its not bc they genuinely thought that person posed a threat #its bc they are white supremacists #theres been such a weird attitude lately towards womens discomfort with men thats just very like #well just stop! get better! pull yourself up by your bootstraps!#and very little asking like..why they developed those feelings..#because i agree being obsessively terrified of every man isnt a great way to live but i promise its harming them more than anyone else

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scoreplings · 2 years

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also this is just one of my childcare onions but i think its actually very irresponsible that learning how to redirect isn’t considered required for people who work with kids like. it’s difficult to do! it’s something you have to practice & learn and it’s something that can prevent injury and trauma so often in kids

#like ive only ever one time had to restrain a student (he started biting and drawing blood it was a safety issue :( )#and its SO terrible for them #there is a reason its a last resort #you’re supposed to restrain any student self harming but tbqh if it’s not causing serious injury restraint is only going to harm them more #and escalate the situation #its TERRIFYING being a little person and having someone who you trust physically prevent you from doing what you feel you need to do to make #yourself safe #because especially in younger kids that’s why they’re acting out! they’re scared or overwhelmed in some way and that’s their outlet #and if you can redirect instead of punish or restrain it helps so so much. and prevents so much distress #likeee if a kid is peeling her skin or threatening another student it is so much better to call them over to have a talk & help you put #snack together or something than it is to frighten them more by escalating things #obvs it doesnt work with like kids like the one who kept biting me earlier this year was impossible to redirect past a certain point #but if you catch it early & know how to do it even students with as extreme behavioral issues as he had can be helped #he lovedd when you’d ask him to help with the classroom and if you did it when you first noticed him getting uncomfortable it could prevent #an incident almost every time #idk it just makes me so pissed off that so many teachers & other people who work with kids think restraint is the first thing to resort to #when things get physical #i had a coworker joke to me that i should start beating the kid who kept biting me #HE WAS FIVE!! he was scared you fucking asshole hes tiny and he isn’t used to life yet and he hasn’t developed empathy!! why do you want to #hurt a baby!!

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the-apprentice-bebop · 1 year

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as a musician jesus christ protect your hearing. listen to music through headphones at safe levels. headphones over earbuds if you can. earbuds are so small they can't make bass sounds properly and emulate bass by being very very close and bouncing the sound around in your closed-off ear canal. you are basically blasting the frequencies right into your ears and letting them rattle about. if you go to/perform at concerts get earplugs and if you do this regularly get custom earplugs that are moulded to fit your ears. your hearing is so so important. I am BEGGING.

#the apprentice casts out another thought #hearing protection #like i think about this a lot because if i lose my hearing im fucked.#one of my lecturers at college had to cancel classes because he developed severe tinnitus #and he's a sound mixer. he needs the most objective idea of what things sound like.#so if you're in sound or music you better be protecting yourself.#but if you're a normal person do it because you do NOT realise how bad hearing loss and tinnitus is.#even if you already have it. it CAN and WILL get worse.#thank you for coming to my tedtalk

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dimitrscu · 2 years

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people who think malenia was only fighting radahn out of petty spite because she wanted to be seen as the ‘best’ demigod or whatever are honestly so brain dead it’s actually unreal. all these characters with really interesting, complex motives and then there’s malenia who’s apparently just some toxic pvper lmao

#elden ring fans pls develop some reading comprehension (impossible)#malenia a character who cast aside her own clam to godhood and dedicated her life to protecting her brother and fighting for his cause #fanboys everywhere: nah she’s a c*nt who hurt my boi chadan #at this point i would literally pay fromsoft to tell us the actual reason for their fight #cause if i have to see one more person say it was because malenia was just power hungry #when that literally goes against everything she stands for #i’m so sorry that ‘i’ve never know defeat’ upsets you so much that you have to start making up lore to make yourself feel better #i can’t believe it’s been 8 months and this is still annoying me skfjdk

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teaboot · 4 months

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On of the less intuitive things about love, I've found, of any kind, is the importance of needing things.

I didn't realize it until recently, but I've always seen love as something requiring sacrifice, selflessness, patience, and generosity- to ask for nothing is to be the best person I can be, small and quiet and never in the way, always happy and helpful, self-sufficient and present when desired.

It's only as an adult, now, that I'm beginning to see the selfishness of wanting nothing.

I cut my friend's hair in my kitchen the other day. They wanted a trim and I had the skills, so I offered, and was genuinely excited when they stopped hesitating over "bothering me" and took me up on it. It was a peaceful afternoon, and we had tea and chatted for an hour or more.

My brother and I shared popcorn at the movies a while ago. When I came time to pay, I pulled my card out like a wild western sheriff and slapped it on the machine before he could fight me for it first. The satisfaction was delightful.

Someone called me crying on the phone the other day. Kept apologizing for disturbing me at work, talking about how they were bothering me on my lunch break. I was telling the truth when I told them that really, I was flattered and honored and relieved, knowing that if they were hurting I would know, that I didn't have to worry in silence. It felt good to hear them slowly come down, and to know that they knew it would be better soon, and to hear them laugh wetly on the other end. We're getting together for a visit next week.

It's hard to need things, if you've trained yourself not to. It's hard to want things, when you don't know how to want anymore. Trusting people is difficult, and so is relying on them, but I don't know where I'd be without the people who rely on me.

I've heard a lot of people say, "Nobody will love you unless you love yourself". I've had a lot of thoughts about it. It's not right, but it's not wrong, either, I think.

"Nobody will love you unless you love yourself"... I've always taken that to mean, "You will not be lovable until you develop a positive view of yourself as a person".

Now, I think it's sort of inside-out.

"Nobody will love you unless you love yourself"... because nobody can show their love to you in a way that you can accept until you treat yourself kindly, and learn what you need, and what you want, and how to ask for it, and then give that vulnerability away.

Love, for me, is someone I ask for a ride to the airport. Whether they end up doing this or not is irrelevant.

It's not needy, or selfish, or taking up energy. It's giving the gift of being wanted, and needed, and thought of. It's giving someone the security of being part of someone's life.

#Ramble #Sorry I just took my sleeping pills lol #Seepy

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keystocompanionship · 4 months

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Personal Development: Enhancing Your Relationship By Being a Better Partner

Developing oneself personally can greatly contribute to being the best partner in a relationship. To achieve this, it's essential to focus on various aspects of personal growth that can positively impact your role as a loving and supportive partner. Here are six key areas that, when honed, can help you become a better partner for your significant other:

1. Effective Communication:

Effective communication serves as the cornerstone of a healthy and thriving relationship. Improving your communication skills involves not only expressing yourself clearly but also actively listening to your partner. Additionally, it entails understanding non-verbal cues and learning to communicate in a manner that fosters openness and understanding between you and your partner.

2. Emotional Intelligence:

Enhancing emotional intelligence allows you to better understand and manage your own emotions while also being attuned to your partner's feelings. Developing this skill involves recognizing and articulating emotions, empathizing with your partner's experiences, and navigating conflicts with emotional maturity and empathy.

3. Self-awareness:

Self-awareness is the foundation upon which personal growth is built. It involves understanding your own strengths, weaknesses, and thought patterns. Through self-reflection, you can gain a deeper understanding of how your actions and emotions impact your relationship, enabling you to make conscious decisions that positively influence your partnership.

4. Empathy and Compassion:

Cultivating empathy and compassion enables you to connect with your partner on a deeper level. By actively demonstrating empathy and showing genuine concern for your partner's well-being, you create an environment characterized by mutual support and understanding, ultimately strengthening the emotional bond in your relationship.

5. Continuous Personal Growth:

Committing to ongoing personal growth and development not only benefits you as an individual but also enriches your relationship. Whether it involves pursuing personal interests, setting and achieving goals, or overcoming challenges, continuous personal growth demonstrates your commitment to self-improvement, inspiring and motivating your partner to do the same.

6. Patience and Understanding:

In any relationship, patience and understanding play a vital role in sustaining harmony and mutual respect. Practicing patience allows for the natural progression of the relationship, while understanding fosters empathy and acceptance. These qualities create a nurturing environment where both you and your partner feel valued and supported.

In summary, focusing on personal development plays a pivotal role in becoming the best partner you can be for your loved one. By prioritizing enhanced communication, emotional intelligence, self-awareness, empathy, personal growth, patience, and understanding, you can strengthen the foundation of your relationship and nurture a deeper, more meaningful connection with your partner. Remember that personal growth is an ongoing journey—one that, when pursued, enhances not only your own life but also the bond you share with your significant other.

Thank you for reading!! Get more out your relationships with these other blog posts on my profile here. Enjoy your day!

#personal development #black love #love blog #better relationship #building relationships #relationships #companionship #better yourself #better partner

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arolesbianism · 4 months

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I am pausing my comical neglect of Kii for a second to flesh out their backstory more and I finally have a decent image for their general character arc, besties who are in a constant state of "I can fix him" when the ppl they're trying to help unionize against their attempts to help (it's because Kii is like 90% using helping ppl to avoid confronting their own issues and the gang are desperately trying to get them to see that)

#rat rambles #oc posting #kii generally considers themself a kind and patient person and they are for the most part but they also have some pretty bad anger issues #its smth that theyre extremely self conscious abt but they kind of just tell themself that their anger is justified to try to ignore it #and like. some of the things they get angry abt are justified. but like being angry abt specific things and not being able to stop yourself #from lashing out are different things #they were actually pretty shitty to miko when they first met especially since they felt justified doing it #it wasnt until miko cracked under the pressure being put on him to solve everything that kii started to feel guilty enough to stop actively #snapping at her #after they started traveling together kii began to warm up to miko especially when they found out miko has mad mommy issues #they actually did help miko quite a bit but the character development that they helped miko have put them in a stable enough place to #realize that kii wasnt in a much better place mentally and this was amplified after mar and mip became friends #kii took it Really badly since mip had been working with midas and lashed out hard #which made miko and kickz finally draw the line since they were yknow screaming at a child #kii had no idea how to handle the ppl closest to them being genuinely mad at them and as such they initially lashed out more #but after their outburst they quickly fell into an anxious guilty yet still angry spiral as they desperately tried to feel justified still #but then mar ran away and they freaked out since while they were angry they still care abt mar deeply and they didnt want her gone #and the others were all like you sure dont show that conpassion very well when you fucking scream at them for being friends with the first #person their age theyve ever met #and we get fun kii character arc stuff as they slowly start to grapple with these issues theyve been actively trying to avoid for years

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snekdood · 7 months

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i knew ppl who were more dedicated to being counter culture than having any real morals or convictions would end up being nazis lmao

#if i say this to you will you knock it tf off and develop an actual personality?:#'omg dude you're so cool and different and you have totally unique/niche opinions on politics and also your politics are perfectly #fine and never need to be criticized and you never have to change' is that reaaaaaaaaaaaaaally the validation you need?#it might be the validation you *want* but is it reaaallly the validate you *need*?#bc idk how stroking your dick 24/7 will ever make you realize when you're fucking up but do you ig #bitches gotta be counter culture to feel unique. dawg at that point just give up lmao #if you constantly gotta be the white to someones black to *feel* different and *feel* unique then well a. you still havent found who you ar #yet and b. you're just a boring fuckin person rn dawg. you might not think it but it makes you entirely predictable.#its the same thing as becoming a satanist. you are akin to a 14 year old edgelord boy betraying christianity and you havent even grown up #yet. no wonder my abusive ex has no real personality.#mimicing ppl isnt a personality. being the exact opposite of ppl isnt a personality either. who you are is deeper than that.#unironically meditate fer fuckin' once. shut your mind entirely tf up about your external life and get to know you from inside.#if you hate yourself? cool! at least you have a better grasp on who you are now. at least who you are *for* now. you dont hafta hate #yourself forever yknow. you CAN change. but pushing away your feelings aka ignoring that you hate yourself and pretending you dont will #never get you close to actually loving yourself. genuinely THINK about why you hate yourself. feel the actual emotions of being a pos.#feel the actual emotions of regret. then cry about it. its normal and natural to do when you realized you've failed your own expectations.#and then move on and try to be better. you'll never forget what you did but it'll be a learning experience for future situations.

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adelheidvonschicksal · 4 months

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The Love and Deepspace Boys Trying to Get You to Sleep ⋆｡°✩

Tags: Fluff, teasing, needy boys, mild sexual content, gender neutral reader (I had to re-write so please let me know if I messed up.)

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

Xavier is surprisingly softer than you expected when you first met him on your mission together. He’s an incredibly powerful hunter but possesses a quiet and gentle, almost oblivious, aura when navigating everyday life, like a ghost floating through the space he takes up. It should also be understood that this very nature of his makes him affectionate, so much so, that he won’t unwrap his arms around your waist and stop pressing his head to your shoulder as you sit at the kitchen bar, typing on your laptop.

“Are you planning on staying up later than the stars?” he mumbles.

There’s a gentle yawn against your skin from the sluggish man, highlighting just how long he’s been trying to coax you into going to bed.

“I wanted to finish this report for work.”

“The report will be there tomorrow,” he says. You swat away his hand that reaches for the power button on the laptop causing him to pout. He grumbles. “You should go to bed. Otherwise, I can’t sleep.”

Smiling to yourself, you decide to tease him. “Oh, so you’re really trying to get me to go to bed for your own benefit?”

“Well, you can’t very well expect me to do it by myself anymore.” Xavier nuzzles his head into the slope of your neck, cuddling you. “It’s your responsibility since you ruined my sleeping habits.”

“Ruined?”

“Ramshackled,” he repeats quietly, causing you to giggle. With an airy sigh, he presses his weight into you more. “How do you expect me to sleep when I can’t hold you?”

Defeated, you save your work and close the laptop. You swivel in your chair, enough to meet his eye, and cup a hand to his cheek. It never stops being endearing to you how he cutely closes his eyes and angles his head to snuggle your palm.

“Alright, alright, you don’t have to beg.”

His eyes flutter open, and the smile on his face grows as he wraps his fingers around yours. Carefully, he pulls on your hand to bring it up enough to begin to lace your wrist with affectionate kisses, tracing your pulse.

“I thought you enjoyed my begging.”

“That’s different.”

“It isn’t,” Xavier mutters into your skin, pressing another light kiss.

“It is.”

“So, you're resolute about that position?” he questions “innocently”. There’s something mischievous about the glint in those arctic eyes, which makes your face warm. You find yourself breaking eye contact, or else you’d lose it.

“Yes.”

Xavier chuckles then begins to lead his kisses down your arm. “In that case, care to explain the difference in detail, love?”

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

“Sleep.”

“But—”

“Sleep.”

Zayne narrows his eyes at you from his side of the bed. You can’t blame him for being a little annoyed right now but the movie you put on to fall asleep was much better than you expected; and instead of falling asleep, you were more awake than ever at a very late one in the morning.

“I’m almost done with the movie,” you tell him, hoping he’ll cut you a little slack this one time.

“Everyone dies at the end of their own stupidity,” he bluntly states and grabs the remote. The television turns off with an overly loud click, and you pout. “Now, sleep.”

Crossing your arms over your chest, you huff. “You’re the worst.”

“I’m fine with that title if it gets you to rest,” he explains with a smooth yawn. “Poor sleep habits lead to bad decision-making later. You’re more likely to develop high blood pressure, and with your heart in particular—”

“I get it. I get it,” you say, wanting to be spared the lecture. Zayne is a good person and a better doctor, but you wish he didn’t worry about you so much just because you might have a little big heart problem. Sighing, you squiggle onto your back and pull the sheets up to your collar, kicking them a little childishly in the process (totally not to let him know that you were not pleased with his spoiling). “I hope you’re proud of yourself.”

“Very.”

Zayne turns over onto his side, away from you, and you frown at the loneliness. Softly, you poke him in the back, once, then twice then a third time before you finally get a hum in response.

“Am I really not getting a good night kiss?”

“Do you need one to sleep?” he asks, his voice deeper from the lack of sleep, urging you to convince him to kiss you even more.

“Duh,” you explain. Slowly, he turns back over to look at you, propping himself up on one arm with a look that says “Is that so” as you continue to ramble. It makes you a little flustered when he watches you so intently. He’s always had this silent dominance that makes you obedient, but you could get what you want from him just as easily with the exact opposite strategy. Cutely, you puff your bottom lip out at him. “There has to be some health benefit to it. Kissing makes people all happy. Happy is good, right?”

It takes a second for him to take in what you say, those smokey eyes closing in on you with thought before he climbs over you. He places both hands at your sides and quickly boxes in your upper thighs with his knees.

“You’re thinking of dopamine,” he says.

“Huh?”

“That makes you “all happy”,” he explains and presses a deep kiss to your lips, leaving you thoughtless and breathless all at once. He moves to your jaw, and you begin to squirm from the pressure of his impassioned lips.

“And Serotonin.”

Another kiss, lower.

“Oxytocin.”

He’s at your shoulder when he starts to nip your skin, and one of his hands moves to ski up the back of your thigh.

“Reduced cortisol.”

Flustered, you grip his arms.

“Zayne, stop, it tickles,” you whine, but it’s the last thing you actually want as he readjusts his position and hovers above you.

His usually neat hair is messier and his breathing a little heavier judging by how his chest laboriously rises and falls. Groaning, you bite your bottom lip as he knowingly leans in and whispers,

“You need it to help you sleep, isn’t that what you said?”

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

“Why don’t you just say you don’t love me anymore?”

You look up from your phone screen at the sudden accusation. You’re resting on the couch, your back propped up by the armrest and legs splayed out on the other cushion while Rafayel looks down at you with crossed arms and a less-than-pleased scowl on his face. You’re entirely confused as to what you could’ve done to make him think something like that.

“Huh?”

“You’ve been playing video games for what—the last two hours?” he says, uncrossing his arms to grab your phone. It’s too late to warn him as he glances at the screen, clicking a few times. “What are you playing anyway? An…otome? Sheesh, go ahead and say you want me gone. Come on, tell me you actually hate me.”

Holding in your smile, you shake your head and affectionately roll your eyes. It takes an enormous amount of effort to not laugh as he continues to rant. “So, it’s one of those things. I thought I was actually in trouble.”

And by those things, you mean his dramatics.

“Hush, my complaints are perfectly legitimate,” he demands as he pushes your legs aside and sits on the couch. Leaning over, he flashes the screen at you to show the evidence he has that you’re completely unfair, unfaithful, and downright mean. “What’s this game giving you that I’m not? Are my dashing good looks and even better personality not enough? Is that it?”

Gently, you take the phone from his hand and set it down on the end table. “You’re plenty, perfect even.”

He scoffs and refuses to look at you. “Apparently not. Don’t you ever think about anyone else? What if I want to cuddle with you one day but you’re too busy to notice because you’re playing silly games?”

Ah, there it is. His real want. You never know why he can never just come out and say it.

“Rafayel, do you want me to come to bed and cuddle with you?”

“Want is a strong word,” he remarks but you can see his resolve (can you call it that when he planned to give in all along?) crumbling as he slowly turns back to meet your gaze, “but I wouldn’t be opposed to it. Not that you deserve it or care.”

Humming, you sit up, wrap your arms around his shoulders, and pull him down onto you. Lovingly, you snuggle him, stopping to only take in how red his neck and ears start to get when you squeeze him and start to stroke through his hair. You’re not sure if Lumerians can blow happy bubbles like he claims, but he definitely hums and relaxes his entire body weight to lay on top of you like he wants to sink into your skin.

Teasingly, you coo at him. “You’re so needy.”

“I’d rather say you humans aren’t needy enough,” he fires back as he wraps an arm around your waist and kisses the corner of your lips. “Ah, the sweet taste of victory.”

Giving out a gentle and short laugh, you lightly tap his back. “Go to sleep.”

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

#zayne x reader #xavier x reader #rafayel x reader #love and deepspace #love and deepspace x reader #love and deepspace fluff #love and deepspace smut #adelssmut #notsfw

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homunculus-argument · 7 days

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If I had more money than I'd ever spend in a lifetime, I'd spend my life operating a pizzeria at a loss. Something with the slogan of "it ain't italian but you're hungry" - and a statement of how this is not authentic italian pizza because the owner's estranged aunt's italian ex-husband would not serve pizza in his italian restaurant because as far as he was concerned, a pizza is the "just throw that shit together" dish that you make out of leftovers, and he would not serve that to paying customers even if they wanted it. True story btw.

But I'd just like to run a place where the staff is allowed to tell rude customers to fuck off. And if they're scared to do that, they can summon me downstairs to do it myself (this fantasy involves having my own apartment upstairs of the restaurant), because you don't fucking disrespect my staff like that. Develop a reputation as a place where You'd Better Act Yourself or you get nothing, which elevates the quality of the food in peoples' minds because it's human to assume that more work=more worth, and if a pizza place can afford to simply throw rude customers out, that clearly must mean that the food is just that good that going back is worth it anyway.

Hiring enough people to get the work done in a leisurely pace and occasionally have the time to chat with each other or customers. You just do the job I gave you in the time I gave you, don't steal anything and don't watch porn off your phone anywhere where the customers can see you, you're good. Don't care if you quit school at 16 if you can still mop floor. Don't care if you've been to prison because you killed some guy, as long as you're not doing that here. Don't care if you deal drugs on your free time as long as you don't bring your business to your day job. This place is exclusively for pizza business.

Have an item on the menu called "random pizza" - and if you order that one, they'll just throw in a mix of whatever ingredients we've got too much of, like if the bell peppers gotta be used before they go bad, every single random pizza is going to have them until they're either gone or need to get tossed. If you've got dietary restrictions or allergies, you gotta specify that while ordering, because other than that, random pizza is just whatever ingredients we need to get rid of. Surplus ingredients du jour.

Building a reputation as a place that's somehow simultaneously sketchy as hell but also remarkably high quality, getting five star restaurant customer service from a waiter with blue hair and stick-n-poke tattoos, there's a homeless guy at the back of the kitchen eating an order that nobody picked up, every surface is spotless and no matter how important of a suit-and-tie you are, if you won't behave yourself the owner will personally physically fight you.

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