#people are SO rude. it's just so unpleasant for me to interact with ppl | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

merrivia · 1 year

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sorry for all the unfair hate and backlash you’re getting :( it’s not cool that people are twisting your words and causing a big hoopla over things you never even said. love your work and hope this doesn’t discourage you from writing meta and posting.

Ah thank you 💕 I honestly really appreciate that! 🌸

I mean luckily, we’re a tiny fandom and so it’s a tiny fraction of ppl who have been rude (I think like a handful? A few accounts with reblogs etc.,. It’s not a lot!). I mean unless they've blocked me and I can't see it lol. Or I've blocked them! Which is totally fine! What I can't see can't hurt me 😊 It's something which is stressful but which hopefully I can shrug off in terms of my wellbeing. Far more people have been positive than negative.

I think this is a good opportunity for me to say that I feel so many people on here are smart and perceptive and wonderful! I've seen so many great posts on here, or seen great comments. It's so nice to see people on here who love the books too.

But there are some people…not like that. It's unpleasant to have your words twisted and used against you, or yes, assertions being made that I didn't even say 🤦🏽‍♀️ but it isn’t unexpected. Even the slightest bit of commentary on race nearly always involves a backlash, right?

Ultimately, my tumblr account is always going to be pro-Damen and pro-Laurent, and their love story. People can always choose not to interact if they don't like that! How long I'll write meta for...we'll see, as this fandom isn't the most comfortable place to be in for me, but I know the CP trilogy are my comfort novels for the rest of my life and am so grateful to Pacat for writing them in the way she did which just tickle all those different parts of my brain that love beautiful writing and witty dialogue and complex characterisation and strategy and sword fights and thematic continuity and true love winning out in the end.

I’ll just do what I do, for as long as feels comfortable, and if people don’t like it, well that’s what the block button is for 🫶🏽

Thanks again! ✨ Genuinely, it helps to read nice asks like this!

#ask #the difficulties of being brown and online #captive prince

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beyonceisstraight · 1 year

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So I watched Wednesday and

1) ppl are loving her quirks and bluntness

2) ppl are rightfully pointing out autistic ppl are bullied for these same things

There’s an intersection here where neurotypical ppl enjoy both spectacle and being mean to ppl, which she does and is. And autistic ppl can be not nice to be around for others without that being their intention.

Let’s make one thing clear, Wednesday is a bit of an asshole but she has a strong sense of justice and it flows along what she personally believes vs what the world views as justice. The more I watched the more I thought god I wish I could behave the way she does sometimes bc my lens is similar but i don’t do this bc I’ve learned that you can’t just say anything to anyone. Its really only while on meds that I have a sorta functional filter. Bc without meds living is so taxing there’s no room for my brain through brain fog and spiraling to be filtered.

And the more I watched the more I realised, she’s not really a nice person but she’s also a 16 year old girl. Mortitia does say teenage girls can be mean and kinda, thats whats going on. She sees a man pouring a cup of drip coffee and says it loud enough that he can hear that ppl who drink drip hate themselves and have nothing going on in their lives. And he just stops and puts it down. That’s an awful way to be towards strangers and its also very 16 year old girl who thinks she’s better than others behaviour. If wednesday wasn’t an “outcast” but a blonde hottie type doing the exact same things ppl would actually genuinely hate her.

Here I want to present you with the sansa stark argument, because as I live and die i will defend sansa stark. My sansa stark argument is that when a teenage girl is written as what’s perceived as normal but with the addition of some social power by being pretty according to the beauty standard, people will hate her. They will hate her even if she’s 13 and being manipulated by adults well over 30 and accuse a 13 year old girl of having been able to stop a king from killing her father if she’d simply resisted the grown woman she looks up to manipulating her.

Children are ours to protect. End of.

But no one is hated more than the teenage girl, be she pretty, fat, short, tall, smart, dumb, promiscuous, prude etc. What is a teenage girl to the world but someone to hate who is also a porn category.

Wednesday is “emotionless”, cold, “logical” and ppl like that. The less of a human a woman is and the more that she embodies what patriarchy rewards the more ppl like her. Her assessment of Weems is deeply incorrect. Weems is doing her job. Weems covers the death of a student bc if she hadn’t all hell would reign down on Nevermore. She chose an evil. Weems also sees Wednesday for what she is. Impulsive, impatient, uncooperative if you’re not doing what she wants. I’m an adult well past 16 and if I came across a girl like Wednesday, and I have, I would simply not take her seriously in the least. Because it would just be me interacting with a teenage girl who will spit my flaws at me like I don’t know that already. Do you know what kind of behaviour that is? its disrespect. its rude. its just unpleasant to be around. I’m not this kid’s parent I’m just going to ignore her and go about my day.

Wednesday actually is extremely normal. Like I said I’ve met teenage girls like her. A lot of children behave exactly like she does. But the thing is children are emotional and more transparent. And children aren’t respected. In the real world there’s nothing exceptional about this girl beyond how she doesn’t flinch at darkness like killing or maiming anyone. In the real world that would land her in juvie. In the real world a girl like Wednesday would be actually scary and I don’t imagine you’d want to be around her. But also in real life I would feel deep concern about this girl. I’d want to know she was ok.

But ppl can’t see this character like a person because Teenage Girls are spectacles, hated unless redeemed through a patriarchal lens. Ppl love to hate a flawed teen girl character, like Korra. However we’re presented with Wednesday as though she’s ineffable.

The proof of a patriarchal lens is that even though Wednesday experiences her deepest development with WOMEN her love interest is a boy. She depends the most on WOMEN but the end of story love interest is a tim burton self insert (different argument) who has done fuck all besides get framed and run when Wednesday tells him to because the WOMEN handle the bad guy. This is the love interest and not the roomate who respect her boundaries and FIGHTS TO THE DEATH TO DEFEND HER. This girl is naked, bloody, only a coat on her shoulder but her only concern is Wednesday. She hugs Wednesday and is hugged in return. Bitch I cried. They have such a meaningful relationship. Bianca does more and shows up more as a better person than either boy who shows interest in Wednesday.

We were robbed of goth lesbian and rainbow lesbian. I liked the show, and the character and I love exploring the theme of teen girls in media bc well, someone has to show love to and defend these girls.

#wednesday

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notquiteaghost · 2 years

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please feel free to ignore but would u be willing to talk a little about how you think depression + disassociation differ from szpd? definitely have the former, never thought I had a PD & esp. not szpd bc/ in my interactions w others I've never been described as cold or unemotional i guess. but ur description of szpd as the result of c-ptsd "maybe i can destroy the feeling" & other ppl being real ppl even when others aren't looking at them... i am. reassessing

ok so firstly, psychiatry is a thing we made up, and imo you cant talk about personality disorders without talking about / deconstructing the very concept of mental illness, because what differentiates a personality disorder from a collection of other diagnoses is pretty arbitrary, and for szpd in particular it's incredibly arbitrary

like. the root cause of all mental illness is either the person's experiences or the person's biology. it's all trauma responses & brain chemistry working to varying degrees of efficiency. the way you conceptualise your own collection of trauma responses n brain chemicals is important, humans are very susceptible to good storytelling and this is a story you tell yourself.

so. szpd is one of the worst personality disorders for having diagnostic criteria rooted in external behaviour as observed by outsiders. i do think PDs are a good concept but the way 90% of people talk about them makes me want to set fires. a useful conceptualisation of PDs, imo, is you experienced ongoing trauma when you were still working out how to be a person, so now your responses to that trauma are baked into your personality. but it's not an innate failure to do that, everyone's personality is a reflection of their childhood, it's just not everyone's childhood is traumatic.

szpd at its most visible is people who are cold and detached and intensely antisocial, but not everyone can get away with that. szpd IS depression and dissociation. depression and dissociation are factory standard coping mechanisms, and only become A Disorder when they're chronic, and sometimes they're chronic for good reason. szpd is they have been chronic since childhood and now if you want to be rid of them it is going to take a lot of therapy

and, like. The Classic Schizoid Presentation makes you unpleasant company, and while that's almost always the point, it also requires an attitude to other people that i would classify as separate from any disorder? i have very little bandwidth for genuine empathy, but i still smile when people smile at me and listen when people talk and try not to be rude without cause. that has nothing to do with my feelings & everything to do with my morals. not condemning people who are classic schizoid, i just am not capable of it

so. i think if u feel like u have szpd then u have szpd. u know yourself best, i am not gonna tell u ur wrong. feel free to ask me to elaborate on any of this, i am very much not running at peak performance rn so apologies if i didnt make any sense

#asks #like dissolvable sutures #i think my tldr here is. szpd dictates your internal shit but not necessarily how you act around others #so if descriptions of the internal shit ring true for u that's more important #cuz more factors go into how you act around others #also maybe google secret schizoid #szpd tag #psych

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filmactor · 3 years

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HONESTLY. ON THAT NOTE. i always wonder.........................for almost the entirety of me running kael’s singlemuse blog, people would joking about him being a bitch, a jerk, unapologetically rude, so on and so forth. and, for the most part, it was fine because people were saying they liked that about him but it eventually started to confuse me bc he just...wasn’t actually like that? kael is very blunt and can be very crass. he swears a lot and is pretty irritable and mostly doesn’t really give a shit what people think of his attitude so i think he could come off as rude as a result but he's never intentionally mean or nasty. and i have to just...think about why that was.

i know, and have always known, that most of it was just that he’s kind of aloof and doesn’t warm up to people quickly which, in that era of tumblr rp, basically meant that either your muse was a dick or YOU, the writer, were a dick. and i do think that played its role. but i’ve also seen countless people on this site writing their Dark, Brooding, Angsty Loner men without these problems. muses who are these outwardly unpleasant cold men. but, instead of being called bitchy, they’re like...tortured and misunderstood. or they’re people other muses actively respect and admire.

and i wonder. IS that because kael was, from the day i started writing him, a very openly bisexual man who isn’t exactly super gender-conforming? ( of course, i have no concrete proof for this statement but i feel like i’ve seen this enough times to feel that the rpc DOES have a problem with unfairly demonising male (or even male-presenting bc ppl really AREN’T any better with nonbinary muses, if they even manage to acknowledge they aren’t men) muses who don’t conform to specific standards of traditional masculinity. and i think this can take different forms, whether it’s that muse being branded as ‘bitchy’ (i think the use of that word specifically says enough) or mean much sooner than other muses, that muse being made to play the role of a weird pervert without the writer’s permission, that muse being subjected to weirdly violent threats for no reason far more quickly than other muses, so on and so forth....did you know one of my first interactions on kael’s blog involved a muse saying they wanted to ‘smack the smirk’ off his ‘girly-ass face’? hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

anyway, i’m done now, i promise! i’m sure there’s a much more intelligent and meaningful way to talk about this stuff but i’m just writing shit as it comes into my head. however, i do think people are very quick to overlook homophobia in the rpc under the guise of Fuck Men --- and if it really IS fuck men then WHY is it so often muses who are lgbt men? i also think people don’t always stop to analyse their behaviour bc they think it’s okay so long as they’re trying to be funny. it’s just very weird! the rpc also treats lesbians like shit so let’s not forget about that either.

ALSO, necessary disclaimer, this is NOT about or directed at any of my mutuals. tbh i think the majority of my mutuals ARE lgbt in some way or another and have probably experienced this shit too.

#« ᴘᴜʀᴇ ᴍᴏʀɴɪɴɢ » / 「 ooc. 」#sorry if i glossed over smth important! this isn't really supposed to be a super organised post i'm just Talking #bc i was thinking abt it the other day and it's still on my mind so i think i have to get it out my system #i just wonder...would kael have been KNOWN as this mean lil bitch man if he were just as sarcastic but also Just Some Guy #also suddenly thinking abt how kael had a kid in his ffviii plot and ppl were suddenly like 'wow warm he is a dad (: make dad jokes #do goofy dad dances (:' like HUH................huh.........what #looks at kael....what

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manyofnine · 4 years

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Today my uncle asked me:

"Sag mal M9, glaubst du eigentlich an den Lieben Gott?" a rough translation would be:

"Say M9, do you believe in God"

Though he did two very interesting things in his question, first he put in an "eigentlich" which you put in a question to prompt a longer answer from the other person it's like putting an "please elaborate" at the end of a question but in everyday speech.

The second thing he did was say "der liebe Gott" which is commonly a very childish way of adressing the lord directly, and thus a way that atheists make fun of christians. It's basically hinting that ppl who are not atheist are childish for believing in religion/wonders.

So i was there, a very rude question asked by my uncle hanging in the air, preparing to of defend myself, i filled up his coffee cup and said "Yeah, i do. Why do you ask?" and then the man did something i clearly did not expect him to do and he went on a rant about my mother?

Like. What? Wow? What the fuck?

I mean, yea he is the sexist, transphobic uncle who spends too much time on the wrong side of YouTube, refuses to grow up and is generally unpleasant to be around, but like... He is kinda woke in USA politics terms and he is the only one in this god forsaken family who you can actually hold a conversation with. (not that it's a pleasant conversation but it's better than being shouted at for "starting a discussion" or being told "just tell me what you want me to do, stop wasting our time" when i in both instances just wanted to hang out)

So let's say, he rose a bit higher in my regards. He is actually concerned about me and he is the only one in the family who cares about my grandpa. (like physically cares about him not like my grandpa is disliked he is just really easy to walk over and both my mother and aunt do so regularly)

Anyway, at the end of his rant he declared me and my mother "fine Christians because we don't push it on other people" and changed the topic to him being vegetarian and related to the plight of religious people of always having to explain themselves. "why do you believe in god" and "why don't you eat meat" are quite similar in levels of stupidity i have to admit.

It was a weird conversation. Like. I think he was trying to connect? But he was very angry and my grandpa was trying to diffuse which made me angry and that made him angry so like. Maybe we connected. I gave him a hug, he calmed down. Deep down he is a good guy. Though i am glad we don't have cause to interact often... It was okay today.

It was okay.

#M9s family is... Hard to get used to #(gewöhnungsbedürftig)#Religion

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