this isn't really coherent, I might turn it into an actual structured.. something something later, so don't take this as anything but my brain notes getting jotted down, especially since the nature of discussions on class, wealth, capitalism, vampire symbolism, gothic themes, etc. are all a lot to get into casually here. but I'm. endlessly fascinated by cazador's reputation as a socialite in baldur's gate, the rat motif, astarion's obscured history as a magistrate, and how the game fucks around with classic gothic vampire aesthetics to an almost egregious degree. zero trying to pretend they're not calling back to what the "vampire" imagination evokes here.
the ostentatious yet dilapidated state of the mansion. the egregious wealth but the floorboards are moldy and bloody and miasma fogs the hallways. the rooms are dark yet opulent... the corridors loom over you and are strewn with many fine paintings you can barely see for the lighting, the floors are plush and carpeted and red. but the whole place at the same time is disgusting. bloody. thick with rot and feels almost rundown. I cant remember the exact line in the companion dialogue with shadowheart and astarion where shadowheart asks what to expect of vampire lairs, but it ends with him describing them in a way that's almost--fetid. cazador's wealth is on display and yet the whole place is rotten to the core, meaty and disgusting and full of horrors.
and this works in conjunction with the way astarion plays at class, elitism, and wealth. he plays the part of it quite well; he sniffs and turns his nose up, offers to take karlach to the upper city, his introduction is him telling the player that they "move in different circles," (the implication that astarion moves in elite circles, when in fact in act 3 he reveals he mostly spent time in lower city taverns). I'm not sure how to elaborate what I'm trying to get at here with the play between the rotten wealth & astarion's "playing" nobility; astarion's mortal life is only gestured to, as a magistrate, but you can feel the bones of it in astarion's character still. he plays the role shallowly well, when everything we learn about him directly counters any notion he was ever the social elite he plays at in the beginning. how astarion interacts with the others through his still distinctly elitist + wealth-centric lens despite quite literally being enslaved for the last 200 yrs (my life was bad but at least I'm not you. that mindset is rife for unpacking in terms of how he places himself above others so often, and recoils + is aghast when he sees himself especially paralleled with those he sees as lesser or weaker). if he came close to touching high society, it would have only been through cazador's own social parties with the upper nobility of baldur's gate (and even then, we don't know if he attended, if he was expected to play a role there, or if he was sequestered away). like the mansion's finery, astarion's own display of elitism is hollowed out, rotten when you actually see it, down to the worn out hems of his finery.
astarion, whose most often reoccurring animal motif is a rat; vermin, unfit for consumption; the symbolism there is RIFE. rats play double; coward, vermin, unfit for the finery of the house; rats as symbolism for disease, decay, infestation. vampires infest and feed on baldur's gate. astarion is, in many ways, a rat himself; a schemer and fearful. the game doesn't really try to comment intricately on social structures, classism, or vampires as symbols for the parasitically wealthy; in act 3 the focus is much more on the fucked up family dynamic, the social hierarchy between cazador and the spawn (and that's an entire thing in of itself; astarion weaponizes the cycle of abuse over the spawn as quickly as he expresses sympathy for them). or if it's trying to do a real critique of wealth & using vampire tropes to do it, there's nothing necessarily.... intentionally placed there as critique. but it's still very much in line with the gothic horror symbolism that oftentimes does utilize the vampire as a way of cracking a bit at the Horrors of the Rich. intentional or not, it's very interesting. rats! the way the rich are parasites on the land! the way the cycles of power rotate between the spawn as they all claw for favor and security and power in the house but ALSO hold themselves higher than the human servants or the werewolves!
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WHATS UR FAVORITE RYOMINA MOMENT FROM THE MOVIES I NEED TO KNOW!!!
HI FELIX!! thank you for the ask i am always happy to take more opportunities to talk about ryomina they are so special to me o7
it is VERY tempting for me to answer, "every fucking time ryoji showed up on screen!" ok this might be an exaggeration, i like 90% of his screentime, december 2nd ryoji should've been portrayed more like a pathetic wet dog imo but i digress. but hm... favorite moment.
while the helper's club montage has a very strong place in my heart (it permeated my braincells without my permission)!! i think my favorite part of ryomina's portrayal in the movies is the whole sentence finishing thing they got going on. i feel like that's a cop out answer but like.
there is something so so gut wrenching to me about how they start off by making it so that ryoji is the one finishing minato's sentences. always ryoji. BUT THEN!!! when they meet again at the top of tartarus to do battle on judgment day!! they turn it on it's head!! and it's minato!! who finishes the sentence!! and fuck man does it make me feel like i'm being kicked down a staircase.
and to have the sentence finishing happen again for such an important day?? god idk im gonna tear up and someone needs to like. give me like. a chew toy or something this makes me so fucking insane (blows up) (blows up).
so basically my favorite moment is really like, january 31st, but a lot of my attachment to it is BECAUSE they have that set-up in november with ryoji being the silliest fucking guy to have ever walked at gekkoukan. and oh man oh man the fucking. THE. when. WHEN THEY FOLLOW IT UP WITH MINATO SUMMONING THANATOS AFTER THIS?? yeah man. that's the fucking shit.
like i don't think the english language is enough to convey how much i love the artistic choice to have the flash frame of ryoji when minato summons thanatos. it's the hesitation and rebellion babey!!! the whole scene afterwards is so fucking juicy as well.
honorable mention to when ryoji jumped off the fucking roof at iwatodai station to tell minato that he has kindness in his eyes and that he doesn't like seeing him alone. what kind of guy does that. that's so fucking hilarious to me like actually. he was insane for that.
anyway that is my answer i HOPE u enjoyed reading it, god, ryomina still makes me eyes watery (it's been almost 2 years since i've met them??? what the fuck). i feel like others have echoed this sentiment before but nevertheless i was super happy to type it out :D
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As time goes by I'm becoming more and more sure that I just can't survive on my own. I can take basic care of myself, but the second I have to go to a doctor or do some formal stuff I get paralyzed. I just can't. Fuck, I can barely even talk to strangers in general. Or even not strangers, I can't fucking text someone back if I'm not close to them, it's just so scary and exhausting. I'm becoming emotionally tired more easily and sometimes even talking with my mom about anything is too much for me and I love my mom. And I really need her, I can't do basic stuff without her pretty much holding my hand all the time. I can't get a normal job. We went to this blueberry plantation a few times but I just couldn't go there without her, and now the job is over and we can't go there at all. If I wasn't such a fucking baby I'd go there a few more times alone and get some money. I can't make calls, there's literally like two people I feel comfortable talking on the phone with. People used to say I was mature for my age when I was younger but I never grew up and now I'm almost 21 and can't do anything with my life. I'm scared of everything, I'm constantly exhausted physically and mentally. I'm like a fucking child. I'm scared that I'm gonna have to live with my mom my whole life. I can't see a future for myself, I'm just not able to survive without help and at some point I won't be able to get help, I don't want to be a parasite living off of my mom's money but I don't see anything else I could do. I hate my brain so much. I hate the way it refuses to work. I hate myself for being such a child.
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i’m so frustrated with people’s lack of common sense about wildlife. if you’re interacting with wildlife, you’re not having your disney princess moment. you’re not forming a magical bond. that’s a wild animal who is potentially terrified; maybe it’s curious if it’s young enough, but that just means you should minimise interactions as much as possible to make sure that animal lives a normal life. if your kid comes in holding a wild animal, don’t pick up your fucking phone to videotape it. bring the animal back outside and educate your kid to leave animals alone. you know what happens when you take in wildlife as a “pet”? either you keep it and do damage because even though it’s “tame” it’s a wild animal who is in no way meant to live in that setting unless it’s being kept by a trained and licensed rehabber who knows the housing and feeding requirements (and even then i’ve seen some who are keeping animals irresponsibility), or it ends up at a wildlife rehab when you inevitably harm it enough that you don’t know what to do, or when no vets see you, or when the animal becomes too aggressive for you to handle. and then we either figure out how to rehabilitate an animal whose temperament and/or body you have massively damaged or we euthanise it because the damage is too extensive. start treating wildlife like wild animals rather than a dog or cat. they’re not pets, they’re not domesticated, leave them alone and let them live happy lives as they’re supposed to.
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you ever learn that a popular ship artist (or one that has produced a lot of art for the ship at least) for a ship you like portrays the ship poorly/toxically and also makes other gross stuff about the characters involved in the ship, so you want to make better ship content about the ship out of spite, but you're also chronically fatigued?
*inhale*
me rn
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