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#parasites that make you want to fuck
jahiera · 9 months
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this isn't really coherent, I might turn it into an actual structured.. something something later, so don't take this as anything but my brain notes getting jotted down, especially since the nature of discussions on class, wealth, capitalism, vampire symbolism, gothic themes, etc. are all a lot to get into casually here. but I'm. endlessly fascinated by cazador's reputation as a socialite in baldur's gate, the rat motif, astarion's obscured history as a magistrate, and how the game fucks around with classic gothic vampire aesthetics to an almost egregious degree. zero trying to pretend they're not calling back to what the "vampire" imagination evokes here.
the ostentatious yet dilapidated state of the mansion. the egregious wealth but the floorboards are moldy and bloody and miasma fogs the hallways. the rooms are dark yet opulent... the corridors loom over you and are strewn with many fine paintings you can barely see for the lighting, the floors are plush and carpeted and red. but the whole place at the same time is disgusting. bloody. thick with rot and feels almost rundown. I cant remember the exact line in the companion dialogue with shadowheart and astarion where shadowheart asks what to expect of vampire lairs, but it ends with him describing them in a way that's almost--fetid. cazador's wealth is on display and yet the whole place is rotten to the core, meaty and disgusting and full of horrors.
and this works in conjunction with the way astarion plays at class, elitism, and wealth. he plays the part of it quite well; he sniffs and turns his nose up, offers to take karlach to the upper city, his introduction is him telling the player that they "move in different circles," (the implication that astarion moves in elite circles, when in fact in act 3 he reveals he mostly spent time in lower city taverns). I'm not sure how to elaborate what I'm trying to get at here with the play between the rotten wealth & astarion's "playing" nobility; astarion's mortal life is only gestured to, as a magistrate, but you can feel the bones of it in astarion's character still. he plays the role shallowly well, when everything we learn about him directly counters any notion he was ever the social elite he plays at in the beginning. how astarion interacts with the others through his still distinctly elitist + wealth-centric lens despite quite literally being enslaved for the last 200 yrs (my life was bad but at least I'm not you. that mindset is rife for unpacking in terms of how he places himself above others so often, and recoils + is aghast when he sees himself especially paralleled with those he sees as lesser or weaker). if he came close to touching high society, it would have only been through cazador's own social parties with the upper nobility of baldur's gate (and even then, we don't know if he attended, if he was expected to play a role there, or if he was sequestered away). like the mansion's finery, astarion's own display of elitism is hollowed out, rotten when you actually see it, down to the worn out hems of his finery.
astarion, whose most often reoccurring animal motif is a rat; vermin, unfit for consumption; the symbolism there is RIFE. rats play double; coward, vermin, unfit for the finery of the house; rats as symbolism for disease, decay, infestation. vampires infest and feed on baldur's gate. astarion is, in many ways, a rat himself; a schemer and fearful. the game doesn't really try to comment intricately on social structures, classism, or vampires as symbols for the parasitically wealthy; in act 3 the focus is much more on the fucked up family dynamic, the social hierarchy between cazador and the spawn (and that's an entire thing in of itself; astarion weaponizes the cycle of abuse over the spawn as quickly as he expresses sympathy for them). or if it's trying to do a real critique of wealth & using vampire tropes to do it, there's nothing necessarily.... intentionally placed there as critique. but it's still very much in line with the gothic horror symbolism that oftentimes does utilize the vampire as a way of cracking a bit at the Horrors of the Rich. intentional or not, it's very interesting. rats! the way the rich are parasites on the land! the way the cycles of power rotate between the spawn as they all claw for favor and security and power in the house but ALSO hold themselves higher than the human servants or the werewolves!
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the-punforgiven · 4 months
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I think it should be illegal for landlords to use a property service that anonymizes them, like, what are you hiding from, buddy? 👁👁
Surely if you just treat your tenants well and do your job, you won't need to hide from anyone, right?
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bunnihearted · 29 days
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🐰🌧️
#so on my way home..#i walked by a school and besides the fact that i felt so depressed bc just looking at these kids and adults i have NO hope for the future#i saw two boys on a bench as i walked by... and i just thought they were talking. and too late i realized that no one of the boys were#bullying the other boy. the bully walked away and the other boy just sat there looking so lifeless and dejected#a teacher came and sat down w that boy and i just kept walking. even if i wanted to say smth it's like what would i even do abt that situati#that made me so sad both bc that boy.. he looked so dejected and used to it. that anxiety going to school knowing you're bullied is awful#and like i imagined talking to him and saying heyyy if you're lucky you'll grow up to be 25yrs old#live like a parasite off your mom and be on wellfare and never have had a job :)#you'll have no education or highschool diploma :) you will still struggle to finish hs even at an easier level :)#you will also not have had friends in 10yrs and you'll be terrified of ppl and getting close to anyone and even going outside!!#you'll have no interests and hobbies and skills! you'll simply be a waste of space loser being a burden on everyone around u!#whoop whoop stay alive buddy it will only get worse ❤️#god i just wanna cry. how did i let my life turn out this way??? i used to be full of dreams and life and passion and HOPE#i used to believe in things and in people. i had so many dreams and i wanted to try and do so many things#now all i can think is 'i wanna die i wanna die i wanna die'. im miserable wherever i go lmao#there's this bridge over the highway i have to cross when i walk to school and every time i look down at the trafic and when a truck drives#by i feel my entire body vibrate. i just wanna jump and get mauled by it.#or i dont *want* to but i feel so deeply and desperately that it's the only way for me#only way to make it stop hurting. and i am weak. i dont know how to just 'stop' or take control of my life. thats why i wanna die#bc i know that i wont be able to. that my life will never amount to anything#for fuck's sake my dream now is just to have my own 1bedroom apartment and have a shitty job - like in a grocery store or whatever!!!!!#not even that can i make happen! bc im so worthless i cant do anything. im also stupid so i wouldnt be able to do my job right#i dont know... i dont know... these feelings and thoughts are too much i just wanna relax#but i cant bc my ribs hurt and idk if it's heartburn or an ulcer 💀 why am i even alive???? what am i doing all this for? 😭#my thoughts ran away but i meant like seeing that reminded me of how much of a failure i became#bc of my circumstances and all the shitty ppl around me thru out my life
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crescentfool · 10 months
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WHATS UR FAVORITE RYOMINA MOMENT FROM THE MOVIES I NEED TO KNOW!!!
HI FELIX!! thank you for the ask i am always happy to take more opportunities to talk about ryomina they are so special to me o7
it is VERY tempting for me to answer, "every fucking time ryoji showed up on screen!" ok this might be an exaggeration, i like 90% of his screentime, december 2nd ryoji should've been portrayed more like a pathetic wet dog imo but i digress. but hm... favorite moment.
while the helper's club montage has a very strong place in my heart (it permeated my braincells without my permission)!! i think my favorite part of ryomina's portrayal in the movies is the whole sentence finishing thing they got going on. i feel like that's a cop out answer but like.
there is something so so gut wrenching to me about how they start off by making it so that ryoji is the one finishing minato's sentences. always ryoji. BUT THEN!!! when they meet again at the top of tartarus to do battle on judgment day!! they turn it on it's head!! and it's minato!! who finishes the sentence!! and fuck man does it make me feel like i'm being kicked down a staircase.
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and to have the sentence finishing happen again for such an important day?? god idk im gonna tear up and someone needs to like. give me like. a chew toy or something this makes me so fucking insane (blows up) (blows up).
so basically my favorite moment is really like, january 31st, but a lot of my attachment to it is BECAUSE they have that set-up in november with ryoji being the silliest fucking guy to have ever walked at gekkoukan. and oh man oh man the fucking. THE. when. WHEN THEY FOLLOW IT UP WITH MINATO SUMMONING THANATOS AFTER THIS?? yeah man. that's the fucking shit.
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like i don't think the english language is enough to convey how much i love the artistic choice to have the flash frame of ryoji when minato summons thanatos. it's the hesitation and rebellion babey!!! the whole scene afterwards is so fucking juicy as well.
honorable mention to when ryoji jumped off the fucking roof at iwatodai station to tell minato that he has kindness in his eyes and that he doesn't like seeing him alone. what kind of guy does that. that's so fucking hilarious to me like actually. he was insane for that.
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anyway that is my answer i HOPE u enjoyed reading it, god, ryomina still makes me eyes watery (it's been almost 2 years since i've met them??? what the fuck). i feel like others have echoed this sentiment before but nevertheless i was super happy to type it out :D
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jonny-b-meowborn · 1 year
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As time goes by I'm becoming more and more sure that I just can't survive on my own. I can take basic care of myself, but the second I have to go to a doctor or do some formal stuff I get paralyzed. I just can't. Fuck, I can barely even talk to strangers in general. Or even not strangers, I can't fucking text someone back if I'm not close to them, it's just so scary and exhausting. I'm becoming emotionally tired more easily and sometimes even talking with my mom about anything is too much for me and I love my mom. And I really need her, I can't do basic stuff without her pretty much holding my hand all the time. I can't get a normal job. We went to this blueberry plantation a few times but I just couldn't go there without her, and now the job is over and we can't go there at all. If I wasn't such a fucking baby I'd go there a few more times alone and get some money. I can't make calls, there's literally like two people I feel comfortable talking on the phone with. People used to say I was mature for my age when I was younger but I never grew up and now I'm almost 21 and can't do anything with my life. I'm scared of everything, I'm constantly exhausted physically and mentally. I'm like a fucking child. I'm scared that I'm gonna have to live with my mom my whole life. I can't see a future for myself, I'm just not able to survive without help and at some point I won't be able to get help, I don't want to be a parasite living off of my mom's money but I don't see anything else I could do. I hate my brain so much. I hate the way it refuses to work. I hate myself for being such a child.
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i’m so frustrated with people’s lack of common sense about wildlife. if you’re interacting with wildlife, you’re not having your disney princess moment. you’re not forming a magical bond. that’s a wild animal who is potentially terrified; maybe it’s curious if it’s young enough, but that just means you should minimise interactions as much as possible to make sure that animal lives a normal life. if your kid comes in holding a wild animal, don’t pick up your fucking phone to videotape it. bring the animal back outside and educate your kid to leave animals alone. you know what happens when you take in wildlife as a “pet”? either you keep it and do damage because even though it’s “tame” it’s a wild animal who is in no way meant to live in that setting unless it’s being kept by a trained and licensed rehabber who knows the housing and feeding requirements (and even then i’ve seen some who are keeping animals irresponsibility), or it ends up at a wildlife rehab when you inevitably harm it enough that you don’t know what to do, or when no vets see you, or when the animal becomes too aggressive for you to handle. and then we either figure out how to rehabilitate an animal whose temperament and/or body you have massively damaged or we euthanise it because the damage is too extensive. start treating wildlife like wild animals rather than a dog or cat. they’re not pets, they’re not domesticated, leave them alone and let them live happy lives as they’re supposed to.
#saw a video of someone’s kid bringing in a baby raccoon and holding it to her chest. what the FUCK are you thinking#‘it’s mine now it’s my pet’ and everyone in the comments is going ‘you heard her that’s her pet now’. fuck all the way off#not only does that harm the animal but that makes it very possible for animals to spread diseases to you or your actual pets#not to mention parasites and fleas#there was one the other day of someone getting a rabbit out of a skate park which is good thanks for helping it. but then the person spent#another 5 or 10 minutes interacting with it and petting it. that’s not a pet store bunny that’s a wild animal and it’s absolutely terrified#im not saying learn body language and temperament and shit for a bunch of different animals im saying have some common sense and leave#wildlife alone. look but don’t touch. if an animal looks to be in distress then contact a local wildlife rehab or any rehab at all and ask#for advice. if there’s a rehab near you then see if you can bring the animal in#if you try to do that shit yourself you can do irreparable damage#it’s all fun and games and ‘oh im keeping it as a pet’ until the animal is malformed and has broken bones and infected wounds or is so#aggressive that it’s taking chunks out of people with no warning#‘this wild animal andomly attacked someone for no reason!’ you see how it’s overweight? people have probably been feeding it and when that#person didn’t have food it jumped on them#someone’s gonna do this shit with a ‘sick bird they plan to nurse back to health’ and get fucking bird flu#im just tired i haven’t been working with wildlife for a year and am going to study wildlife and work with them for the rest of my life for#this shit to keep happening. i know it will but im just tired of seeing it over and over again#my post#y’all can rb if you want im just pissed and on my soapbox
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i am having Thoughts about both cod as a musical and a cod musical au
specifically a cod musical showmance au
that would be fun i think
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xxlethal-lunaxx · 1 month
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If anyone relates to this even just a little bit, then I'm so sorry.
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#• luna lavinchi speaking •#living with cptsd#cptsd vent#complex ptsd#diet culture trauma#monsters inside me#toxic health culture#ex vegitarian/vegan#emotional flashbacks#health documentaries#dark side of veganism#i should have never been forced to watch these as a child..my mind wasn't ready to understand the information nor tell what was real or not#-i cant try sushi or even think about fish without feeling physically sick and dizzy. i haven't had McDonald's since i was like 6ish years-#-old..i never wanted to share this information but i need to vent. I feel embarrassed and rude for not liking a food chain that most of the#-population does. Smelling or seeing McDonald's makes me wanna puke so bad because of everything those documentaries would say.#I will never be able to eat McDonald's in my life because of how sick and terrified i feel when thinking about the food even the drinks-#-scare the shit out of me. I'm so pissed that I'm triggered. All of the sudden i smell something in the house that smells like McDonald's-#-then the memories come flooding back and i feel like puking so back so i cant even eat dinner. i know this may seem stupid but i am-#-genuinly scared. Im tired of this shit and tired of feeling alone in this.#(anyway sorry. if you read my vent then i appreciate you)#tw food talk#tw diet culture#tw vent in tags#(dont even get me started on parasites cause thats a whole fucking trauma itself. damn it i hate it all. i hate it so much)#(also note: my therapist made me feel so validated weeks ago when i told her during my session that i was traumatized by monsters inside me-#-she literally knew the name of the show before i could even say its name. and she said she also cant watch it and that she saw it as an-#-adult who doesn't have ocd. so she told me she can't even imagine how terrified i was to watch it as a child who was developing ocd.-#-therapist W)
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afieldinengland · 9 months
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i've said this before but in the end if malcolm tucker went on trial for perjury would they have called ollie reeder to testify
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learned today that some people appreciate and enjoy (?) their periods... yall are holding us back as a species, just sayin.
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marcusagrippa · 4 months
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becoming more invested in one random side character who is fucking dead by the time my main plot starts than the actual protagonist is just a rite of passage for my writing process at this point
#big oc ramblingin the tags warning u h.#save me melisadd...... isa............#a horrible ugly name for a horrible ugly guy#however. every lover is a soldier. etc etc.#yes he gets killed because of his own ambition but he also gets killed because of his devotion to his city. and by extension his paradoxica#devotion to rhys (who has become the city itself in a weird parasitic sort of way). he hates what rhys stands for and he hates his idealism#and his tyranny andsuch but they have such a fucked up (literally) cannibalistic relationship going back to faustus and the ivy war#that neither of them can function without the other. rhys' fate is sealed the moment he kills isa because theres no-one left to balance him#out and challenge his plans. and he spirals from this genius up-and-coming ruthless commander willing to do anything to keep his home safe#into a lazy power-hungry beast relying on the prestige of his ancestors and the fear of the people to keep him fed. and he misses isa#as much as he hates to admit it#and he misses argent and he misses what they all had and as he gets older he starts losing the ability to distinguish between the past and#the present. hence the public display of argent's innards and isa's rotting corpse being dug up and given a seat at the table at the feast.#but back to isa. isa doesn't want to fight rhys - he believes there's good in him up until the last second of his life.#his execution is the death of any hope of redemption rhys might have had.#noneof that makes sense but anyway you get what im trying to say right#<- what a late republic hyperfix does to a mf#they are based loosely on the first triumvirate and should all eat each other !!#i can make my own narrative ghosts god dammit#dyrposts#r. a. bicinius#m. f. voscium#i made these guys like. two days ago??? but i cant stop thinking about them#if anyone is interested. i will say more things about dr#writing#augh#rhys isnt technically a main character either feel like i should clarify that he. dies in the first chapter#story focuses on eos furi and gabier !!! yippee !!!#jase writes#FUTURE ME EDIT: THIS IS ALL WILDLY OUTDATED :DDDDD OH WELL
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mackeralsauce · 6 months
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you ever learn that a popular ship artist (or one that has produced a lot of art for the ship at least) for a ship you like portrays the ship poorly/toxically and also makes other gross stuff about the characters involved in the ship, so you want to make better ship content about the ship out of spite, but you're also chronically fatigued?
*inhale*
me rn
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genderqueeradrien · 1 year
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i need to stop watching video essays i think cj the x ruined my life and broke into my house and stole my wallet and set my kitchen on fire and punched me in the face and called me a fag
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thelonelynindroid · 9 months
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Brad Jo Dana Evil Gang.........I love it
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I swear to god everyone wants me to fucking kill myself and I’m sick of it cause I don’t want to fucking die so stop egging me on you stupid cunts
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heavenknowsffs · 1 year
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Personally feel that if a landlord tries to evict you because you can't afford to pay rent you should just kill them and take the house
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