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distort-opia · 3 years

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Batjokes 29 & 30 🙏

You went straight for the heart with these, Anon! Thank you so much for the ask <3 And apologies in advance for the Sad.

29. One headcanon about this OTP that breaks your heart

...That no matter how far they'd go in a relationship, they'd never fully trust each other, and there'd always be a measure of resentment.

Part of Bruce would always need to keep Joker under watch as to make sure he doesn't kill anyone, and part of Joker would always fear that Bruce will leave him -- because he doesn't kill and thus does not pose a challenge and a threat to Batman anymore, because he's lost his edge, because Bruce got bored or because he doesn't need Joker the way Joker needs him. And both of them, deep down, would resent the other for the compromise they needed to make. Joker, for chipping away at his identity to give into Bruce's rules, and Bruce for chipping away at his own unshakeable rule of opposing murder, by having one of the most prolific serial killers ever as a significant other.

In this scenario, I can't help seeing them lying awake at night and next to each other, and genuinely hating each other for moments at a time, close but very far away -- and it breaks my heart. Ugh. There's that quote from Richard Siken, "Sometimes you get so close to someone you end up on the other side of them", and it perfectly encapsulates what I mean; the ways in which someone could be so primordially important to you that they'd become an alien entity, encroaching onto your sense of self.

30. One headcanon about this OTP that mends it

...That they're bookends of the same soul, to steal a very beautiful quote from another one of my ships (Cherik), and that they just get each other on a molecular level.

They don't quite need words to communicate, they can tell each other things just through small touches or looks. They're at the dinner table and Joker just ups and leaves, and Alfred's just confused, but Bruce simply says "He hates the texture of peas" even though no words had been spoken. Or Bruce comes home from patrol after he managed to save a child but didn't manage to save the parents, and Joker instantly understands that he needs to let out his anger and needles him into a fight to give him an excuse. And basically this, more than anything, would outweigh all the bad in their relationship, because they're capable of seeing each other in ways no one else can. That kind of understanding and acceptance is addictive, and it changes a person. Especially after feeling so keenly alone for so long.

#asks #batman #joker #batjokes #batjokes headcanons #I hope you still enjoyed these Anon #me imagining Bruce having a nightmare with that last one #and seeking solace with Joker #I'M FINE I AM PEEERFECTLY FINE

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undercovercannibal · 29 days

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PART 1

(I will add links to future parts here once I've finished them)

some of the fics on this list are no longer available on ao3 and can be accessed through links to my own dropbox account instead

under 10k words

dogbirded by ikeracity (@ikeracity) - T | 2,426 words

Charles has been talking to a guy on the Mutant & Proud dating site for the last two months. He's fairly certain he's being catfished because the guy's profile picture is Erik Lehnsherr, famous actor and A-list celebrity, but he's enjoying their conversations all the same. Never in a million years would he ever imagine that he's actually been flirting with Erik Lehnsherr, and that Erik Lehnsherr is actually into him. Because that would never, ever happen in real life...right?

First Impressions by Black_Betty - T | 3,438 words

Charles Xavier, youngest CEO in Xavier Corp history, society darling and playboy philanthropist drops a bombshell when he comes out. Now he just wants to be left alone.

Heli Cases by Black_Betty - E | 5,892 words

"Heli Cases" is a program on PBS whose aim is to educate on the rapidly increasing occurrence of genetic mutation in the general populous by breaking the complex science down into palatable, easy to digest pieces. It is also the only thing that helps Erik get his fussy daughter to fall asleep. (Featuring Dadneto, baby Lorna and the struggles of single fatherhood, and Charles as the host of a late night show about genetics.)

10k+ words

You Show Me Yours by endingthemes - M | 11,141 words

When Erik receives nudes in the middle of the night from an unknown number, he's confused and mildly amused. He doesn't expect it to turn into an actual conversation...with feelings. As if that's not baffling enough, his friend's brother ends up crashing at his place, further complicating everything.

Make a list of everything that's ever been on fire by cm (mumblemutter) - E | Underage, Half-Sibling Incest | 13,155 words

We're brothers, you and I. We want the same thing.

we might just be hollywood material, baby by ikeracity (@ikeracity) and midrashic - T | 15,443 words

Greenkeep was an American animated television series created by Logan Howlett for Toon TV. The series follows mouse scholar Jess (Charles Xavier); his rival, the otter warrior Miska (Erik Lehnsherr); and their cohort of friends and allies as they fight to overthrow the Kingdom of Crows which has occupied their homeland. It aired for six seasons, from February 2003 to June 2009. Greenkeep received critical acclaim for its characters, soundtrack, and exploration of complex themes such as war and free will. It was the first significant project of several prominent actors, including Sean Cassidy, Alex Summers, and Raven Darkhölme, and is also known for its role in introducing Academy Award-winning actor Charles Xavier and his now-husband, director and producer Erik Lehnsherr.

From Westminster With Love by thehoyden - E | 16,152 words

NATO intelligence says there’s an omega-class telepath who sleeps under Westminster. Major Erik Lehnsherr is about to find out the truth for himself.

Made To Be Broken (dropbox) by Yahtzee - E | 18,220 words

Charles makes a New Year's Resolution: "No more straight men," Charles repeated as he began scrolling through the apartment directory for Emma's name. "No more futility. No more pointless hoping and heartbreak. In 2013, I never want to hear the words 'exception,' 'experimenting' or 'phase.' If, God forbid, I hear 'bicurious' even once, I may take a hostage." Then he goes into the party, and Erik is there.

Favorite Mistake by endingthemes - M | 19,266 words

Charles Xavier doesn’t think anything of it when he sneaks out without even saying goodbye to his latest one-night stand. What he doesn’t expect is to walk into his new position in the Xavier Industries marketing department and find that his latest hook-up is now his new boss.

Xmas in Connecticut (dropbox) by Yathzee - T | 19,466 words

In December 1944, the entire nation loves Rebecca Lawrence - "America's Most Beloved Homemaker." Her columns about leading the ideal life in the country help lift people's spirits on the home front during World War II. But when her publisher asks her to host a war hero for Christmas dinner, the world is in danger of learning the truth … which is that "Rebecca Lawrence" is imaginary. Really, she's a combination of Raven's snappy writing and Charles' knowhow in the kitchen. However, this war hero, Erik Lehnsherr, is headed to Connecticut, so Raven and Charles have no choice but to find a way to make the imaginary real - at least, just for Christmas. Charles thinks they can pull it off, at least until he opens the door to see Erik and falls in love at first sight.

Serendipity by humanveil (@humanveil) and yuelle - T | 19,785 words

Charles sends a text to the wrong number. [10:22 AM] Can we meet for coffee? I just got dumped. [10:30 AM] I think you've got the wrong number. [10:31 AM] Unless you make a habit of texting people you don't know about this sort of thing?

20k+ words

Whispers and Tingles by sareyen - E | Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings | 23,769 words

Erik Lehnsherr is an angry, broke, horny, misanthropic college student. He's always known that audio porn existed, but he never really got into it. But then he discovers the audios made by one smooth-talking, English-accented and infuriatingly filthy (and sweet) ProfessorXXX and, well, he never looked back. Or: Erik is a horny college student who discovers audio porn made by one ProfessorXXX and becomes his #1 fan (and they fall in love)

30k+ words

rooms/shares by pocky_slash - T | 33,140 words

Erik is single, working a cube job he hates, letting his master's degree in mutant studies collect dust, and living on his best friend's couch. When she kicks him out, he's forced to trawl Craigslist for the least-offensive rooming option within his meagre budget. He never expects a response from the persnickety, high maintenance ad he replies to as a joke, but it's possible this too-nice apartment and mysteriously absent roommate might be the answer to all four of his problems.

Plain sight by aesc and pearl_o - E | 37,000 words

When he was eleven years old, Charles ran away and disappeared. Eight years later, as a curious detective begins to notice his traces, Charles thinks he's finally ready to join the real world once more. But as it turns out, learning to be among people again isn't easy -- and his relationship with Erik is perhaps the most complicated of all.

Paper Monsters by Clocks - E | 39,240 words

Charles meets Erik Lehnsherr, his favorite novelist of all time at a coffee shop, but doesn't know it's him, and Erik just criticizes his own writing in front of his biggest fan.

40k+ words

Mutually Beneficial Transaction by Pookaseraph - E | 41,572 words

In his sophomore year at Columbia University, Erik, feeling slowly strangled by his mounting college debt, places an add on a sugar daddies website. He doesn't know exactly what to expect from it, but when he's contacted by a man named Charles who seems less creepy than the other people who have responded to his profile, he decides to give it a shot. Charles is nothing like what he expected, and Erik finds himself slowly falling in love with his sugar daddy while trying to find out exactly what caused this amazing guy to buy his emotional and sexual intimacy when he clearly deserves so much more than that.

Something About Us by obstinatrix and seutedeern - E | Underage | 41,997 words

The old fashioned Strangers-on-a-Train idea has always seemed like an Old Hollywood myth to Charles, who's never really spared any random strangers more than a passing glance during his commutes to and from school. Nobody really meets people like that these days. Except that, now he finds himself looking forward to his morning train ride and the chance to have a chat with the handsome man who only approached him because of the book he was reading.

Bifurcation (dropbox) by spicedpiano - E | Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings - medical gore | 47,167 words

Bifurcation - (n.) the splitting of a main body into two parts. In medicine, a single mistake can mean the difference between life and death. For cardiovascular surgeon Charles Xavier, a fatal error leaves him standing at a crossroads … and at the mercy of the man he has not faced since their relationship fell apart thirteen months ago. Dr. Erik Lehnsherr has a fearsome reputation. Due to his incisive autopsy reports, he has gotten more surgeons fired in two years than any other pathologist has managed over an entire career. But when an old enemy returns to Erik's life, he must find a way to temper his pride -- or lose the man he loves, all over again.

50k+ words

April by nextraordinaire - E | 56,219 words

In the sharp, unforgiving plains of the Canadian Arctic, Erik is since long adapted to solitude and silence. Separated from civilization, dedicated to nothing but his research, he has formed a life that suits him. There is nothing he would ever want to change. So, naturally, the arrival of grad student Charles Xavier upends everything Erik ever thought he wanted, for better or for worse.

60k+ words

A Maschine Without Feelings by sareyen - E | Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings | 65,713 words

A Jane Eyre AU: Small and measured but intelligent and determined, Charles Xavier is a child born into circumstances of hardship; his father died just after he was born and his mother remarried a cruel and hard man, who cast him out to boarding school when he was ten. After a difficult childhood, Charles found employment as a tutor at the grand Ironfield Hall, where he meets its master - the brooding and seemingly cold Mr Lehnsherr. Charles is drawn to the enigma that is Mr Lehnsherr, but mysterious and frightening events begin occurring in Ironfield Hall, threatening to destroy everything Charles has grown to cherish.

70k+ words

Machiavelli Online by KesaKo (unfinished, but the only thing missing is the epilogue which is why I still feel comfortable recommending it) - E | 77,963 words

Charles and Erik are each at the head of a mutant rights student union in their university. As they are known to bicker and argue, everyone assumes they must be enemies. Unbeknownst to all, Erik has in fact a gigantic crush on the extremely flirtatious and extremely straight Charles Xavier, so he decides to set up a female Facebook account to get some dick pics. As usual with Erik, it’s a bad plan.

100k+ words

Strict Machine by euphorbic (only accessible with an ao3 account) - E | Graphic Depictions Of Violence | 150,579 words

When Professor Charles F Xavier accepted a visiting professor position in Arizona, he did so in order to be geographically closer to his sister. What he did not expect to find was the living, breathing specter of the sportbike gang-oriented past he’d been trying to put to rest. A tale of sport bikes, consequences, and sacrifice.

The stars incline us, they do not bind us by ikeracity (@ikeracity) and Pangea - E | Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con | 162,781 words

Intergalactic Federation pilot Lieutenant Charles Xavier is assigned last-minute to a high profile mission: transporting over two thousand prison inmates from an old and overfilled prison complex to a newer, higher-capacity prison stronghold located on the outer reaches of the galaxy. Just as he's settling down for a long and uneventful ride, things take a turn for the worse after the inmates riot and stage a hostile takeover of the ship, leaving Charles to find himself at the complete mercy of cold-blooded killers and facing the chilling prospect that he might not ever make it back home alive.

All the Rest is Rust and Stardust (dropbox) by spicedpiano and tahariel - E | Rape/Non-Con, Underage, Alternate Universe - BDSM – content warnings at the end of each chapter no longer available | 669,812 words

Charles Xavier is the world's preeminent mutant psychologist, called in to consult for the CIA when a raid on a Hellfire Club safehouse discovers a severely abused teenager, Erik Lehnsherr. Taking Erik in soon leads Charles to struggle between his conflicting responsibilities as Erik's guardian and psychologist, and his desire to give in to the dangerous dynamic that is developing between them.

#cherik #cherik fic recs #fic recs #fic rec #otp: bookends of the same soul

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