I think I’m mentally in a good enough headspace to finally write about this. This will be a ranty post, so skip it if you’d like. I’m also not going to pretend I’m not wildly speculating here. I do not know Vessel, nor am I a mental health professional. This is just me rambling into the void; I did my best to make it coherent.
So, to start, we’ll need the message from Vessel that he played during his The Room Below set and the text on screen from the Fall For Me music video. Since I’ll call back to them, I’ve transcribed both below.
Fall For Me:
The truth is I am due a harsh lesson in truth itself and how bitter it can be. Will you teach me? The truth is I am ugly, I am inadequate, I am lost, I am no god. The truth is, I want, to want, to live, and so do you. I just can’t do this any longer. I am afraid. Are you afraid? I want to understand what it is to let go. So for now let me live as a living drama of your pain. If we are to be submerged let us be submerged together.
Vessel’s Room Below Message:
We are here to silently connect. To project ourselves onto one another. We are here to remember. We are here to forget. We are here to worship.
Some time ago, I was given a message. It was a message that originated from one of you. Someone possessed by a strong desire to tell me something. The message read very simply: You saved me.
I have thought about this message a great deal since. It left me with a feeling that I have somehow been mistaken for someone else. I did not save anyone. I do not believe I have the capacity to save anyone. All I have ever given anyone was a small window into the emotional waiting room of my mind. I do so whilst doing everything in my power to minimize my own vulnerability. In this way, I am selfish. I chose not to give what others can, and yet I am the benefactor of this thankful praise.
|I experience a great deal of pain in my life. However, I do not believe I have suffered as you have suffered. Perhaps that is another reason why we are here. At the very least, we have all suffered.
I would also like to take this chance to tell you something. To love oneself is not the easy task we are sometimes told it is. We are all limited by something. We are all guilty of something. My own path towards a place of greater self-acceptance is paved with the art that I create. It is a path that I continue to stumble down at the expense of everything else. I am nothing without this music. I am nothing without this mask. So, in this sense, the message I received was true, but only in an inverse sense. The truth is I did not save anybody. You saved me.
For a bit of background, the Fall For Me music video was released in September of 2021, right before the release of TPWBYT. The Room Below show was initially set for January 2022. It was postponed twice due to COVID-19 and was finally set for the end of April 2022. To be honest, most bands would have just cancelled the show after it was postponed, especially if it was a single show, not part of a tour, and not meant for the entire band to be present. According to an online article, the show itself even started half an hour later than it was supposed to. Again, I’m wildly speculating, but Vessel wanted to do this show specifically to deliver his Room Below message. He doesn’t communicate any other way with his fans aside from the occasional chuckle on stage and his awful (/affectionate) heart hands. So what else was he supposed to do in order to respond to that person who told them that he, specifically, saved their life?
Let me back up a bit. Again, this is speculation, but I believe this person with their strong desire to communicate their message to Vessel did so before the music video for Fall For Me was released in September of 2021. It’s possible the message came after, but before makes the most sense (at least to me). I say this because the music video for the song has no direct connection to the lyrics. The base subject matter for Fall For Me is about longing and wanting someone who does not want you back, at least not in the same way.
On the other hand, the music video is Vessel (or a character he is portraying, if that makes you feel more comfortable) committing suicide by sea, and, upon first watch, the words on the screen are his suicide note. With closer examination, this is not the case. The words on the screen, though some statements do seem like they belong in a suicide note, are more like a precursor to Vessel’s Room Below speech, especially with the “I want to want to live, and so do you” quote. Even more than that, the statements show Vessel disproving himself and his importance to Sleep Token fans.
“I am ugly”, “I am inadequate”, “I am selfish”, “I am nothing without this mask.” With these four quotes, I’ll move on to the second part of this post. These four statements are coming from a man with severely diminished self-worth. Plainly, Vessel is struggling, or, to use his word, he is suffering. Without pulling more from his music, these quotes alone are a tell-tale sign that Sleep Token’s anonymous marketing strategy has backfired in the most spectacular way for Vessel. While it has captured the attention of over two million monthly listeners on Spotify and garnered over ninety-nine million views on YouTube, the anonymity has ruined Vessel’s self-esteem.
With the above stated, I believe he’s still on board with keeping up the anonymity of Sleep Token. To be frank, I think he’s the only member of Sleep Token who is still 100% on board with the gimmick. The Vesselettes recently unmasked back in July 2023 (good for them; they deserve to be recognized and praised for their talents), and there are multiple accounts of II, III, and IV walking around festivals and venues unmasked, sometimes even wearing their full stage costumes sans masks. Vessel relies on his masked identity like a crutch to deliver his art. He does so because he believes he has to. He plainly stated this fact to the six hundred people at the Lafayette with him in April of 2022 and, by conduit, all of Sleep Token’s fans who have heard the multiple recordings and edits of this message.
The other members, II, III, IV, even the Vesselettes, the old keyboardist, OG IV, and 2020 session player Sam Kubrick, have all achieved variable success without the Sleep Token façade in the public eye. But not Vessel. The best he had was performing on a small stage hosted by his former university at a music festival in 2014. Before that, he struggled to get subscribers on YouTube and played open mic nights at a local café. Vessel didn’t achieve any recognition or fame until after he put on the mask and bought entirely into the idea that his music, his art, should be wholly separated from who he is as a person.
This mindset reminds me of a Miley Cyrus quote (stick with me; I promise this is relevant) from a few years back. She did a podcast interview and said the following about her Hannah Montana persona: “When I looked like myself, when I didn’t have the wig on anymore, no one cared about me. I wasn’t a star anymore.” Her quote helped put Vessel’s statement, “It left me with a feeling that I have somehow been mistaken for someone else”, into perspective. I saw that snippet on YouTube a couple of weeks ago, and it was like everything instantly snapped into place involving Vessel’s insistence on remaining anonymous.
With the above said, do I believe that the anonymity schtick is a trash idea and that the band should ditch it? Absolutely not, because it works. Without anonymity, the band would not have blown up the way they did after The Summoning dropped in January 2023. Without anonymity, there wouldn’t be extra layers of added lore. Without anonymity, there would be no mini ARGs for the fans curious enough to wonder why there are no credits on the songs their streaming services are suggesting to them (thanks for fucking that up, by the way, Apple Music. A+ shitshow right there). We would not have such emotional, beautiful, heart-wrenching songs without Vessel’s anonymity. Vessel has said this last point himself with his quote about minimizing his vulnerability. Would Vessel have had the confidence to put out songs like Bloodsport, Atlantic, High Water, Missing Limbs, or even Vore without his mask to shield him? In Vessel’s words, all he has given his fans is “a small window into the emotional waiting room of [his] mind.” But what a gifted, beautiful, turbulent, fractured, and brilliant waiting room we have been allowed to see.
In closing, whoever it was that gave Vessel the message about saving their life, I sincerely hope they were in attendance for The Room Below show, and I hope they heard Vessel’s response. I hope they both, as well as anyone else touched by this interaction between the two, have found support channels for the weight of their pain. I hope that they are happy.
TL;DR Vessel is a beautiful, talented, and humble human being who has and continues to save lives with his music. He deserved so much more attention than he got before Sleep Token. I want Vessel to know this (even though he will never see this post). However, I also do not think that he and the other boys should not drop Sleep Token’s anonymity act at the expense of their comfort.
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AHSJSJ in reference to https://at.tumblr.com/weaselishmcdiesel/idk-if-youre-being-serious-in-the-tags-but-if-you/b7me6xnnx57f (i was the anon in question)
its definitely less “official” than proper therapist, but the letter of recommendation for an emotional supper pet you get is in fact from a Real Certified Therapist (at least mine was, i checked), and it carries no indication of being provided through the website, so i doubt people would be like “oh this isn’t legitimate”
in general is it cutting corners? certainly, but it is a good option if you dont have access to/funds for a proper diagnosis, and if you genuinely think an emotional support animal would make your life better, its worth researching. i dont know if i’d call it “fake” per say, but it is for sure easier to fake than yknow a proper diagnosis, so i see why this would be an issue nonetheless. two sides to everything etc etc
(if youre curious to know more or see my letter i’m happy to send it through dms or whatever)
oo, erm, please take the rest of my response in the context that i really have, maybe a collective of 3 hours worth of research on this topic as i was originally planning not to use an ESA site at all, and im not aware of the specifics of any experience using official, medical, therapy options.
im really glad that everything went smoothly for you, and i hope that more people can have access to treatment just as easily and with just as much documentation to prove it.
But the conduct surrounding the treatment of mental health is unfairly complicated so it's not unwise to be picky about which route one takes to receive the documentation and care they require. ideally, no one would have to worry if the letter they acquired IS legitimate and they could collect the proper benefits. unfortunately, i dont know if my school cares about my mental health more than their precious building so much so that they would dig around and find some critical loophole to keep my pet out
the research i DID do uncovered reviews stating that people had their pettable letters denied and in some cases there was fine print that prevented them from getting refunded. the question at the end of the day is do i trust the ESA site to give me valid documentation MORE than i trust my school to be OVERLY, even MALICIOUSLY nitpicky about the legitimacy of my paperwork.
and, i personally would have to be cautious since it's more than a simple drive my cat would have to endure but a plane ride too, and another one back if he's suddenly denied an ESA position, so i can't risk the letter having even one pitfall. i do hope you understand everyone's apprehension ^^ I will continue doing my research and hope that in the end i dont give my school one more reason to be even more strict with ESA especially for people who need them more than me (because there are, probably, people who poorly fake the papers and then make it harder for the rest of us as the other user is calling attention to)
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@celestikal asked:
your name: lamost celeste
your age: over 45 years old. don't worry about it
your perfect date: i open your mind to the vastness of the universe. it might fry your earthling brain. we test the limits of this world, and see where your power brings you. an open space at omegao = acos(max(min(-tan(delta*rpd)*tan(phi*rpd), 1.0), -1.0))*dpr is also acceptable. :)
make out in private or in public?: what is that
do you like to cuddle?: what is that
tell me something about you: my heartbeat sounds like this
why do you want to be my valentine?: i do not believe in earthling conventions. i don't know what a valentine is. but you spoke of power and you smell of ozone and distortion. you shouldn't be here. maybe me neither.
Valentine's Day Applications!
Huh? H-help?
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