#or something like that yeah as said its silly and dumb but I've been thinking about it and giggling

[starpros-sunshine]

I don't know if I ever talked about this on here before but it's been on my mind from time to time and that is the idea that Wataru one time catches a really bad cold so he just avoids Eichi for the time being (Because Hey. Maybe. If you're sick with a bacterial disease that spreads really easily. Maybe try not to pass it on to the guy with the autoimmune disorder. Just a thought.) But he doesn't tell anyone about it because he's The Hibiki Wataru he doesn't get sick.

So the only ones who know about this are his roommates because it's kind of hard to hide this from people you share a room with especially if you stay cooped up in your room a lot to try not to infect others with your cold and also a runny red nose and a sore throat aren't really a good look on someone that's not the biggest fan of open vulnerability. (If you ask yourself why he would stay in his dorm I have no idea either my guess is the guy just doesn't have anywhere else to go on short notice it's not like he has a flat outside of ES or something so as long as I don't have that figured out he'll have to stay in the dorms)

And yeah no back to point do the gist of the thing is Eichi notices that Wataru tries to stay away from him and he does not know why and it makes him sad and kind of angry and because he's Eichi of course he wonders if it was something he did or if it was just Wataru finally realising that Eichi just isn't what he deserves or whatever else self depreciating things could cross your mind in a situation like this.

So basically then he goes to the first person he would think of to know if he did anything wrong in regards to Wataru: Rei. Rei is mildly confused but reassures him Wataru didn't say anything in that regard.

And this entire scenario just boils down to Eichi wondering why Wataru is avoiding him and thinking it's his fault so he goes around asking everyone he could expect a proper answer from without thinking to ask Wataru himself because a) he's avoiding him. Why would he risk making things worse? And b) it's stupider and funnier this way and this entire scenario is just me laughing at their communication or lack thereof completely ignoring the underlying issues that would've caused it. And I know this is dumb and stupid because everyone else in ensquare would need to be an idiot for this to work so I'm ignoring that bit as well and just regarding it as something that would be funny in theory but would never happen. Or actually youcan set this entire scenario at Yumenosaki and then it could make perfect sense this seems exactly like the kind of stuff to happen to dramatic highschoolers

#the whole thing would get resolved with Yuzuru and Tori just convincing him to vall Wataru and ask #and then Wataru tries to talk himself out of it but eventually has to concede because it's hard not to sound sick with a clogged nose #or a sore throat. or both. #and then Eichi is just very relieved he gets to keep his Wataru for a bit longer and doesn't have to worry about endong up a lonely widdow #or something like that yeah as said its silly and dumb but I've been thinking about it and giggling #and Keito would get to call both of them idiots too to make the whole thing even better #as a treat because he deserves it <3 #and this could be set early after graduation at the start of the whole ensquare thing #coild also work in a yumenosaki setting actually it could work even better in a yumenosaki setting #huh. might employ that lense there #nothing would change it would just makw more sense #also character wise I mean #should've put this in the post hut I'm too lazy.... #yeah okay that must do the trick #fair enough at least I hope #wataei

[wing-dingy]

Remember when I said I wasn't gonna post fanfics? I lied. I'm gonna post just this one as an excuse to have some Johnshi in my life but also because its rare I write a fic that isnt a self indulgent oc fic

This is just a lil fic where Kenshi comforts Johnny after a stunt on set leaves him with an injured ankle, mostly cute banter. Also sorry if the formatting looks weird, i dont normally post fics to tumblr so idk how to space my paragraphs like I do on google docs.

Click. Step. Click. Step.

The Hollywood actor carried himself on his crutches across the room, from the door to his living room couch, where he saw Kenshi waiting in anticipation.

“Honey, I'm home,” Johnny announced in a parody of those old movies, how he loved his dumb movie references.

“Doesn't sound like good news. Are those crutches?” Kenshi asked, judging by the sound and the patterns of the sound. Though he usually relied on Sento for sight, he hardly ever felt the need to in a casual setting, so it rested in the mantle above the fireplace.

“Yeup. Doc says I'll need ‘em for a few weeks, a month at most.”

Kenshi crossed his arms and leaned back on the couch. “Was that stunt still worth it?”

Johnny snorted, “Totally, the shot came out perfect! You may not know this, but I do all of my own stunts. Impresses everybody when I tell them that!” He dropped a small paper bag of his prescribed painkillers on the coffee table and sat next to Kenshi, wincing as he lifted his ankle to rest it on the same table.

“Aren't stuntmen used so the real actors don't get hurt?”

“I mean- yeah. But don't worry, they're just gonna film everything else until I come back, which should be in no time. I'm just built different.”

Kenshi could just hear the cocky smile, causing him to shake his head in disbelief, but he couldn't hold back the small bit of laughter at Johnny’s pride and confidence. “Alright, but it looks like it's my turn to take care of you again.”

“Don't sweat it, Ken doll, I can take care of myself. You've already helped me enough, and you've got yourself to look after,” He noted all too seriously. Obviously there still rested some guilt in his heart over Mileena's rabid attack that day.

“That ankle needs to rest. That movie needs you and you need the money from it.” Undeniable. Johnny was still getting back on his feet (not literally now) after a messy and expensive divorce, he needed whatever work he could get at the moment. “You just let me know when you need something.”

Johnny sighed as he looked down at his injured ankle. These next few weeks were going to be the most boring while of his life.

Kenshi seemed to know Johnny wasn't feeling so good by the sudden quietness, not even a silly request from his offer. When Johnny of all people was quiet, there was a problem. “Johnny? You alright?”

“Yeah… I've just never been good at sitting still and doing nothing, you know? Now I can't even use my own pool in my living room,” He complained, as if having a pool in the living room was a normal thing.

“Come on, Johnny, you still have a whole mansion. Unless your attention span really is that small, you're not gonna get bored,” Kenshi lovingly poked at him. “It’s not like you're alone either.”

Johnny noded with a small smile of comfort. “That's right, I've got you, my best friend, boyfriend, and assigned FBI agent,” Johnny joked. Gods, not again with the assigned FBI agent meme. “And hey, maybe we can invite Kung Lao and Raiden over to hang out. You think Liu Kang would wanna drop by?”

Kenshi gave an amused smirk. “Probably not, but Kung Lao, might.”

Johnny looked down at the table again, spotting a marker. He groaned and wheezed as he leaned over to grab it, trying not to move his ankle off the table as his finger tips barely touched the marker.

“Johnny what are you-” Before he could finish his question, he felt a marker tapping against his hand.

“You wanna be the first to sign my cast?” Johnny offered, trying to play it off cool but his excitement was slipping past in his voice.

“You mean Hollywood’s megastar wants my autograph?” Kenshi teased. He took the marker into his hand, and Johnny guided his hand down to his cast. Confidently, Kenshi began writing his name.

“Not bad writing for someone who can't really see,” Johnny complimented, meaning it obviously and trying to make it sound like that rather than a mockery.

“I still know the motions of writing, that's enough to get by.” Of course Johnny hadn't seen Kenshi's messier writing at his job and maybe it should stay that way.

The real surprise was the small heart he drew right below his own name. Kenshi wasn't so into PDA, nor into cutesy stuff like that, so it caught Johnny off guard to see the small display. It wasn't like people didn't know they were dating, Johnny was way too into showing off their love and too loud to keep that secret, but it was rather that Kenshi was a more subtle lover when it came to their relationship, preferring to keep things behind doors. Still, it was a nice surprise, and at least now it made the cast way better to look at! Of course Johnny was already pulling out his phone to snap a photo of it to post to his socials.

“You're posting your cast, aren't you?” Kenshi reasonably accused.

“Gotta let the fans know production might be on hold.”

“Is that it? Or are you bragging about us again?”

Johnny snickered, meaning Kenshi was right. “Okay, you got me, but how can I not show you off? You're the coolest! A blind swordsman? Dating Hollywood's biggest hit? We're like a power couple!”

If Kenshi still had his eyeballs, he'd be lovingly rolling them, but admittedly it was kind of cute seeing how enthusiastic Johnny was about their relationship- and kind of funny to think about considering they were previously rivals over Sento.

Kenshi leaned in to press a kiss to Johnny's cheek, and he could feel the wrinkles of a smile under his lips. “Looks like you're feeling better about that ankle.”

“As long as I have you by my side, this injury is gonna be a breeze!” Now it was Johnny's turn to lean in, this time leaning to rest his head on Kenshi with closed eyes and a content smile. Kenshi reciprocated by wrapping an arm around Johnny to hold him. “Shit, that medicine they gave me is starting to catch up.”

“You get sleepy off of a couple Tylenols,” Kenshi playfully quipped, making Johnny laugh.

“Just saying it's a good excuse to nap on you! Unless you're gonna tele-fling me to bed again.”

Kenshi shook his head. “Maybe when your ankle isn't as broken. Right here is fine, just keep your ankle up.”

“Sweet,” Johnny happily murmured as he felt himself starting to doze off. Damn, Tylenol really did knock him out.

#mortal kombat #kenshi takahashi #johnny cage #johnshi #[sweating] im so nervous about posting this hfnckf

[thewildnopeboat]

(Dumb idea that struck me in the shower while recovering from the flu. It may be the medicine talking but her goes nothing)

Context: single player, female Tav at camp

Tav, looking up at the stars: You want to know something?

Astarion, who for the last hour has been trying to meditate: If it would get you to shut up, fine.

Tav, lays down: A lot of people think Paladins are goodie two shoes. I've seen my master slaughter an innocent woman and her children just because they went against the church.

Astarion, sits up, sighing: You've got my attention.

Tav: My master was a by the book sort of person, never questioning why he had to do something, just did.

Astarion: And yet here you are, being a goodie two shoes.

Tav, sits back up and faces him: That's the thing. I'm human, young, and rather silly in my beliefs. My Devotion isn't towards a god persay... its... it's silly really.

Astarion, rolls eyes: If you're going to leave it off like that, I'm going back to meditate.

Tav: Fuck you, let me continue. Devotion to one's God is good, but I've seen Devotion devoid of humanity. It's horrible. In fact, the only time I saw him wince was when I said I never wanted to be like him. That's what lead me back to Bauldar's Gate.

Tav, reminiscing: I remember, the first time I got back there. I visited my old orphanage. I was moved from there when I was around five or so, but I knew most of the places that still are open. I knew my mom was a local whore down the street. She dumped me at the orphanage so she could get back to being a show girl. Nothing to it though, she wondered out of my life, married someone, and is probably dead by now.

Astarion: a bit dark.

Tav: I know. My favorite memory was around midwinter, I happened to be out late one night because the water froze. I waddled out into the cold and almost fell in to the small well we had. Would have died if I hadn't seen something floating down in it. A small white thing, down at the bottom. Care to guess what it was.

Astarion, losing interest: What?

Tav: A small white fluffball of a bat.

Astarion, visibly shaken, but doesn't turn to show off his face: oh?

Tav: Cute thing too. I used all my strength to pull it and the bucket of ice out of the well. After pulling it out of the well, I could tell it was in rough shape, so I shoved it between my clothes and my skin and waddled back inside. I think it got warm enough to get scared because it bit me a bit. *moves shirt down to show scars of small claw marks disappearing below the collarbone*

Astarion, turns: Yikes. That must have hurt.

Tav, shrugs: Yeah, but I caught it again and gave it a stern talking to. I nursed that bat for a few days and let it go. It only would feed on blood, so I caught some mice in the back alleys and let it eat. It was really skittish, wouldn't come out in the sun, didn't like harsh smells, though that wasn't easy to deal with when there's about 10 kids per room, and it didn't like the younger kids. I let it go at night after a few days, but it was so cold I couldn't stay out for long.

Astarion: what has that have to do with you being a Devotion Paladin?

Tav, finally laying down: where else does Devotion come from, but love and compassion for others?

Astarion, confused: That makes no fucking sense!

Tav, sleepy: I miss him, and I channel that feeling into my conversations. Love, compassion, and the knowledge that one day, it will all go away. I'll have the memories, or- *yawn*- someone else will, and that's what matters.

#bg3 paladin #bg3 astarion #bg3 #bg3 tav #bg3 bat astarion #bg3 fan conversation #semi based on a few stories about my dad living on a farm and fishing out small animals and frogs from the well house and the farm well

[ryo-maybe]

I'm not sure who else I'd ask and you just reblogged some art of it so! Should I retry Steins Gate? I feel like I didn't get a great experience the first time I watched it. My friend had me watch the anime english dub and originally he was apparently just having me watch so I could give my opinion on the "trans" (?) character in it but after 10 or 12 episodes I just really wasn't seeing the appeal and he told me to just drop it if I wasn't enjoying it. But I've heard such incredible things about it! Is it worth trying a second watch or consuming it another way?

I'm gonna out on a limb and say that - yeah, the way That entire arc and character are treated are Not Good. If we take a deep breath, pinch the bridge of our nose and utilize the secret technique taught by the ancient masters...

...I find the rest of the show/VN to be very enjoyable, but I am also aware that the appeal of the story, its atmosphere and narrative devices may be lost on people who lack certain specific tastes. It's an unabashedly chuuni story, is what I'm trying to say. If you are the kind of person who can tolerate - or even embrace! - the inherent silliness of the conspiracy and time travel bullshit around which the story pivots, then it's down on whether you can enjoy the colorful cast of characters presented to you. If even those just don't appeal to you, it means that Steins;Gate simply doesn't cater to your preferences, which is honestly understandable!

That said, I don't know how long ago you gave the show a try, if you like VNs and thus would be willing to give that a spin on the off-chance it may convey the same story in a more palatable fashion, or even there may have been a whole slew of other reasons why the show didn't appeal to you. Speaking out of personal experience, if a significant amount of time has passed since you first gave it a spin and you've got the time to spare, try watching the first three or so episodes. We cannot account for how our tastes may change and evolve through time, or how much context actually factors into how we absorb fiction (and experiences in general). I used to think Code Geass was a dumb, crappy show back when I watched most of the first season, until I decided to give it a second try nearly a decade later and found myself welcoming it as one of my top favorite anime ever. While this is more likely than not to be a fortunate exception, I find there's always worth in giving something a second chance and seeing if now you're actually ready to enjoy it or it really just wasn't meant to be!

[crusherthedoctor]

I watched some Frontiers reviews out of morbid curiosity and... yeah, it was about what I expected. Even people who loudly say they aren't fans of IDW and think the comic has gone downhill still fall into the pit of "everything wrong with the game is solely Kishimoto's fault and not Flynn's". Like, every one I've watched had a segment where they had to say "Kishimoto had a hand in Colors, Lost World and Forces. You know, those games the whole fandom hates?". And of course, the interview part about The End. "Lmao who tf ever looks at the moon and thinks its death or something these japanese are so dumb and silly".

My "favorite" bit was when one reviewer legit said "Yeah the "wildly inconsistent" line is kinda cringe (even though its completely true and that's what the fandom has been saying for years), but it's only cringe because Flynn had to literally go against years of Sega dragging every single character through the shit to actually make them resemble their canon selves again".

We can't even praise games without relying on fandom bias triggers anymore.

That's like saying "Mephiles is a terrible villain, and that's why Sonic '06 is good".

Sonic YouTubers really get the mind jogging with their insightful commentary.

#Crusher's Asks #Sonic Frontiers

[theoldaeroplane]

jouwnaling

had a really, really nice day yesterday, was just in a lovely mood all day. I think it may have been related to the fact I did not get high the night before, so I'm going to try to test that theory and dial my usage down. I really enjoy weed and think it has a lot of benefits, especially for neurodivergent folk, but I'm recognizing that I used it as a way to cope with my situations last year. I'd like to wean myself off it a bit and be more present now that my life is starting to not suck. Still gonna keep it around for fun and really bad ruminating though. Weed makes it so much easier for me to hang out with people in person for a long time, and to go into overstimulating spaces.

Been having tons of fun rotating my version of Link in my brain for Antebellum (the WIP name of my LoZ fic). He has so many problems. He is a dumb motherfucker. I'm also consciously putting a lot of things I've been struggling with into this story, both to process them for myself and to give the fic, you know, that extra layer of authenticity, relatability? It's nice, I'm excited to be excited again. I'm gonna fuck up that elf boy so bad.

Had my second yoga class last night, it was nice. I'm not sure if I can afford to keep going but I'm going to try to. In a way it feels silly to pay for something I could technically do for free at home with a YouTube video, but I think the atmosphere makes a significant enough difference to be worth paying for.

Finally made a vet appointment for the dog. She needs her shots and I can't put off the fact she needs dental surgery any longer.

I really, really need to reopen commissions, but I still feel burned out on art. I'm trying to make some adoptables and YCHs as a middle ground. Haven't had a lot of success there yet. That said, I've been putting a lot of my energy into cleaning up my house and taking care of myself. The house is coming along really well, and hopefully soon I'll have it leveled out enough to make it a nicer space for my creative endeavors.

I applied for another job this week, one totally out of my field and experience: house cleaning. It's not something I'd ever considered, but I found the listing by chance and it occurred to me that a job where I just clean and listen to podcasts sounds like heaven. Especially for my autistic ass. No constant stream of customers. No dress shirts. No repeatedly explaining terms and price sheets. Just show up and clean. I'm sure such a job has its own frustrations (hard on the body, exceptionally gross houses, telling people when something is not in my job description, driving a lot), but, like. My current job---while I genuinely like a lot of the work, and I really love my boss and coworkers---the customer service aspect is killing me, the dress code brings back bad memories, and even though I'm working full time (over full time, even, I'm there 8:30-5 because I take a thirty minute lunch break) I'm not making enough to fully support myself. I keep getting sent home early because there's nothing for me to do, and my boss is only a regional manager and has been very forthcoming with the fact I am already at the absolute highest end of the payscale for my position without taking on more responsibilities.

The fact that I can be working full time and still have to rely on a side hustle, and even THEN can't put anything aside for savings, is awful. I can't do more hours, I can't take on more responsibilities, and I can't get a second job. Any of those things would seriously compromise my mental health and I have to take care of myself. I've always dreaded it when I'm asked to take on more responsibilities at my jobs. I don't want advancement, I don't want to manage anyone (I can barely manage myself!), I don't give a shit what my title is. I want to do my work really well, get paid, and go home.

And the cleaning job, at the absolute lowest end, still pays about 5k more per year than my current position.

So, currently, yeah, housecleaning sounds like a dream job. Show up. Clean. Leave. Repeat. The company in question also has glowing employee reviews on Glassdoor, with the worst things being "could pay better" and "sometimes there's favoritism." I don't have any qualms about """being a maid""" on like a social level or whatever. I like the idea that I would be making a tangible difference for individuals, instead of printing out hundreds of advertising mailers that are going to go directly into the trash. I finding cleaning very satisfying. I like the idea of not sitting around bored because there's no customers and nothing to do and I'm not allowed to have my phone out, and then getting sent home early so I miss out on half my pay for that day. And so much less masking! My god! It sounds like paradise!

The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence, but sometimes that's because it really is better grass.

So. Hoping to hear back about that soon. I filled out a questionnaire thing for them yesterday that seemed like it was basically checking to see if I was a narcissistic sociopath or not. I have a weekend without any Special Events happening for the first time in like a month, just my tabletop games and my volunteer work. My clothes and bedding are all washed, I got most of the dog piss smell out of the carpet from when I was too exhausted to take her out often enough, and I cut my hair. I have a writing project again. I've been making new friends and reconnecting with old ones. I adore going out to the barn every saturday. My therapist says I'm doing really, really well. Everything's coming up Corgi, for now. Fingers crossed :)

[crazylil-lion]

I think one of the biggest issues with bpd for me is explaining to others how I feel.

An example from the past.

A person I was falling for that wanted to be my dom had left me on read for a few hours I knew they were home and not busy. We got into a conversation a bit later about our days and I mentioned it bothered me that they left me on read basically until I messaged them again hours later.

They knew it was a trigger. They knew it was something that bothers me. Yeah its dumb yeah I shouldn't be upset over it but I do get upset and sad.

This is something I can't just stop. This is my bpd throwing me into intense emotions over the tone of a text.

Anyway I spoke up I said. I know its silly and you just needed a break but it upset me that you left me on read. I realize you get distracted and all this and its perfectly okay and human and logically I understand.

But I'm upset. I know I shouldn't be but I am.

And they lost it. It blew up into an argument because I tried to express. I feel this emotion. Heres why. I know I shouldn't but I do.

And people see that as manipulative. They don't understand why I feel like someone is ripping off my skin or burning me alive because they triggered my abandonment issues.

Its not their fault. I don't blame them. But it happens and its not something I can just stop.

They invalidated the shit out of my feelings and I split. I felt completely betrayed and thrown away. All because I tried to explain these emotions that logically make no sense.

And people just take it as. Oh your making it up to make me feel bad. No I'm trying to share my fucked up distorted thoughts so You and me are both on the same page. I need to express the emotions even if it makes absolutely no sense. But people blow up at me for it because they dont seem to understand.

99% of my life is spent seperating my extreme emotion from how I think I should logically feel about something. Its a constant war arguing with myself. Its crying screaming begging for my mind to shut the fuck up.

And if I tell you these emotions its never to make them feel bad its because I need to express it and talk through it. Sometimes I get upset and can't control it. I pull away. Or I seem cold and numb. Or I seem less loving it's NEVER intentional. Its just another fucked up awful day in my head. I think most people don't even try to understand the disorder or expect me to just be better as soon as they give me attention.

No hunny your love and care may minimize most of my symptoms. It may make me unbelievably happy. Happier than I've ever been but I still have the mood swings and abandonment issues. I still have symptoms you can't just fix me and enjoy nothing but the beautiful things me and my bpd bring. The obsession, love, affection and worship. Everyone falls in love with the good but never even wanna try to understand the bad and negative things that come with.

#mine #bpd

[potatopossums]

vent under cut. i got triggered and I'm just letting it out and exploring it.

ok, my pet peeves is when people get drunk and then talk about how hungover they're going to be the next day.

dude, i don't give a shit lol. yes pls rant to me about your self-induced, incurable alcohol come-down plus a side of headache and dehydration.

aka i am not a fan of people who (chronically) do things and then complain about the consequences of doing said thing.

i can't drink on most occasions. i can't have fun doing that shit. I'm not even that jealous of the shortlived fun; my problem is that my ibs flares up right away. i start feeling crappy and hungover an hour or two in, after legit one standard drink sometimes, no matter how much food and water prep i have before, during and after alcohol. it just fucks me up anyway. so don't tell me I'm just jealous, i know what your dumb hangover feels like, i don't sit there and complain about it and make it everyone else's problem. i just say "hm yeah i don't think I'm going to drink anything (else)," because i don't want to feel like shit.

i also just fundamentally do not understand why some people find it worth it to get drunk and then have a shitty morning after. i don't like to feel shitty. i struggle enough with feeling shitty for eating fucking bread or garlic or ice cream. i don't need yet another factor in my life that will add to my pain and fuck up my medication, and probably my mental health to boot. weed, on the other hand, doesn't fuck me up. drug of choice. the high might carry over into the next day but i won't feel like garbage. just kind of high still. a little silly and out of it, but mostly fine. i can deal with that.

for the record, i don't have a problem w people who drink and get drunk and hammered and whatever else.

the only thing i have a problem with is when any of that behavior or its aftermath is made or expected to be my responsibility. that's a trigger for me. i do not exist to corral drunk people, i do not exist to be a personal secretary for a drunk person. will i do it for my friends or a stranger who needs help? yes. will i stick around those environments or come back with those same friends? not without a talk and some change in behavior. i find it really disrespectful to deliberately do something that has a known effect on your mind and health, to the point of sickness or unconsciousness, and then thrust responsibility onto someone who has not agreed to that. will i hate you for it if you accidentally overdo it and get sick or pass out? no. accidents happen. what i do not forgive is repeated behavior. and what i don't like is people just assuming that I'm fine with dealing with that behavior or the potential of it without asking me or informing me of their habits beforehand. it puts pressure on me to take responsibility for them later on when they physically cannot take care of themselves, and because i may be the only person who knows them, I'm the only one who can get them home or accompany them to the hospital or call familial or friend support if needed. i do not want that responsibility to just be unquestioningly thrust upon me every time i go out with friends to a place that has alcohol.

I've been in shitty enough environments that weren't even abusive, and that was enough to piss me off and create triggers of mistrust. i had to deal with a husband that drank and took out all of his emotions on me, his sickness, his hangovers, his complaining about it, his behavior while with him in public, the inability to sleep in the same room to him during his drunk sleep due to snoring and his taking up the whole bed, among other things.

forgive me for not being tolerant of people who might even seem like they'd do a fraction of that to me, and especially expect me to just be okay with it because "i should expect it, that's just what people do to have fun."

from my experience, drunk people are not fucking fun. they suck. i know that isn't true of all drunk people, and I've definitely had fun times with certain people, but it has always seemed to break apart my relationships more than it brought people together. I'm an intimate person. i don't like being intimate with that kind of behavior and consequences. and it really upsets me to want that intimacy from people who then want to go and cross that boundary for me.

it really sucks and i seriously hate that this isn't a conversation that can be more comfortably had because it's just an "accepted reality" in our culture, an expectation, a norm. again, i don't care that people like to do what they like to do on their own time. just please don't assume I'm ok with taking care of you in the aftermath of your decisions. i don't hate you for your decisions and what you think is fun, but don't expect me to agree with you, don't expect me to think it's funny or cute, don't expect me to take care of you because I'm your friend. i have my boundaries and it makes me no less of a friend, but what isn't acceptable to me is the ostracization and erasure of people with those boundaries, the erasure of those conversations about boundaries. so while you're worrying about getting yourself taken care of when you go out drinking or whatever, please be sure that other people are okay with taking care of you too. their boundaries and needs are just as important.

#pet peeve #not aro #alcohol mention #personal #one of my triggers is irresponsible drinkers #and drunks who just have a shit attitude when drunk #and people who make fun of people who don't drink

[whitestaghere]

Love finds a way - Edmund Pevensie x reader (one shot)

Thought I'd do a one shot for Edmund. I know its not been that long, but I missed writing again. I hope you all enjoy this! ❤️

Warnings :- none

Fluff 💕

Late. That's what I was. Late.

I was running as fast as my legs could take me. My friends and I had planned a picnic since it was finally the weekend. And today of all days, I just HAD to wake up late.

Finally arriving at the park I bent down hands on my knees, trying to catch my breath.

Looking around I tried to spot my friends.

"Y/N!! OVER HEREEE!!!" I glanced behind me, to see my friends waving me over.

Jogging upto them I gave them a lazy smile.

"Hey y/n!!" Julie chirped, skipping towards me and pulling me into her embrace.

"Wow... well somebody looks like she ran the Olympics," Kyle laughed. "And look those eye bags."

I rolled my eyes taking a seat next to him, "oh why don't you just shut up." At this he poked my side. "Hey don't snap at me! I was just messing around y/nnn!!" he whined flinging his arm over my shoulder. Lips in a pout. I couldn't help but laugh ruffling his hair.

Julie gave me a soft smile, "had a long night?" I nodded my head in response. She scooted next to me leaning her head on my shoulder, "don't overwork yourself sweetie." By now, the two knew me like an open book. So it was easy for them to know how I feel in just seconds.

Kyle nudged me, "yes, it's the weekend! Lighten up girl! We're free from school work and you, from the student council. Now it's just time for you, me and Julie."

He interlocked hands with mine and Julie. I smiled, "thank you.. you always know how to cheer me up." Honestly I couldn't be more thankful.

Julie pinched my cheek scooting in front of us, "so what do you guys want to do??"

I shrugged. "I'm hungry.." I eyed Kyle who was rubbing his stomach.

Julie furrowed her eyebrows, "Seriously? Kyle, we just got here and the first thing you want to do is eat??

"Well, I don't know Jules!! It's called a picnic for a reason you know? You come and you eat. By the way, where is the food?" he raised an eyebrow.

"You don't just come and eat!! The food will be brought out at the right time!" she snapped back.

This was not anything new of course. It was part of our friendship to argue like this. It was obviously all fun and jokes. I smiled to myself, watching my friends bicker. That is, until someone else caught my attention.

To be more precise, him.

And by him I mean Edmund. I had got to know him through Kyle and ended up catching feelings for the boy.

Kyle on the other hand predicted this would happen and was literally celebrating the day I admitted it. But even though I had met him a couple of times, we had never really had a proper conversation apart from the regular 'hi's and byes'.

Well back to the present situation. He was sitting a little further away from our spot, along with his mother and his siblings; clad in a pale blue shirt and brown jeans. Short brown wavy locks blowing lightly in the wind.

He began to laugh at something someone said and oh God was it adorable. I couldn't take my eyes off him, not that this was anything new. I was so busy admiring him, I hadn't even realised that my friends had stopped their bickering trying to grab my attention.

I only snapped back into my senses the second the the boy locked eyes with mine. He gave me a soft smile waving at me and for some reason I looked away at once, feeling the heat rise upto my cheeks. Facepalm.

Y/n you're supposed to wave back.

"Y/N?" Julie placed a hand on my shoulder.

"Huh, yes? I'm sorry I-I umm" I cleared my throat, "I wasn't following.." My gaze instinctively flickering towards his direction and back at my friends.

This of course not going unnoticed by them. Specially Julie, as she was sitting right infront of me.

Following my gaze she looked back at me with a smirk, "oh I see what's going on here."

Oh no.

Kyle glanced between us tilting his head in confusion, "I- I don't think I'm following.."

Julie chuckled shuffling to the side to give Kyle a proper view, not so subtly pointing towards him. Now realising what was going on, the once confused look was replaced with a sly grin.

He eyed me wiggling his eyebrows, "ooh lala.. I didn't know Edmund was here." The two exchanged mischievous looks. I had mentally prepared myself for the teasing already.

"Oh y/n... this is just ridiculous! Would you just stop staring at him like that and just go talk to him for once?" Julie nudged me.

"She's right you know.. you've been crushing on him for ages now. And all you do is stare. Try to make conversation!" I could only look down in embarrassment, blushing wildly. Normally I'd brush it off, but now that he's right there I just can't.

"Y/N! HE'S LOOKING THIS WAY!" Kyle whisper-yelled waving at them.

Almost immediately my eyes shifted back towards him. He was indeed looking this way, my gaze locking with his. This time mustering all the courage in my body I waved back at him, to which he returned a smile.

"Awww," Kyle poked my cheeks. "Our little y/n is in loooooove!!!"

Julie scooted over next to Kyle grabbing his hands, "don't do that Kyle!! He might get the wrong idea and think you both are a thing." He widened his eyes and dramatically pulled away.

"Oh come on you guys.. don't be silly," I mumbled under my breath but loud enough for them to hear.

"What do you mean don't be silly?" Kyle raised his eyebrows. "You can't fool us, we know you're totally whipped for the boy!"

"What? NO! That's ridiculous.. I-I- he doesn't even know me to begin with."

"Yeah you know that won't work anymore since you said it yourself that you like him.." Kyle grinned.

"And not all love stories begin with two people knowing eachother you know?" My face began to heat up at the mention of 'love'. Julie continued. "Also come on, it's so obvious he likes you too."

"Does not.." I sighed.

"OF COURSE HE DOES! Have you noticed the million times the boy tries to make conversation with you and how he looks at you?! Only for you to be a coward and find someway to avoid him. Don't even make me bring back the school talent show incident."

I shuddered just hearing her say it.

>> Flashback <<

The school's annual talent show.

My friends and I were performing a song, and Julie just had to suggest that we wear heels. Me being the person who had never worn heels before, tried my best not to fall face forward. But I suppose luck was just not on my side today.

Kyle had helped me backstage, way before the event even began. Which I found a little wierd, since there was so much time and I could've just stayed in the waiting room. He held my hand all the way so he could keep me from tripping.

The day before the show, I had been ranting about how excited I was to see Edmund, and that's when Kyle had got a little idea at the back of his mind.

That leaves us here; we were backstage. "Thank you Kyle.." he smiled at me. "Anything for my beautiful best friend." I blushed at his words nudging him, "oh shush.."

He smirked at me.

"Umm.. Kyle? W-whats with that look?" he laughed, "I'm supposing someone would be really happy to see you today."

That's when it clicked me. This is why he brought me here this early. Heart beginning to race, I scanned my surroundings immediately and that's when I spotted him.

Oh lord.

Edmund smiled making his way towards us. I gasped and quickly began working on an escape plan. Seeing the back door just on Kyle's opposite, I decided to make a run for it. I was just too shy.

"Hey Kyle, hey Y/N!"

"Oh hey Ed! Y/N was just waiting to see yo-" Kyle trailed off processing the situation, "Y/N NOOO!! COME BACK HERE RIGHT NOW!"

Yep. I made a run for it.

But remember when I said luck wasn't on my side today? Well yes, I managed to trip. I guess I kind of expected this; because how could a person who has never walked in heels before, ever be able to run in them?

I tripped and toppled over into a basket of clothes. Thank god it was big enough, or else who knows what worse things would've happened.

Kyle running upto me and helping me up while Edmund made his way towards us. I could hear the children around me laughing. All I could do was look away in embarrassment. Kicking off my heels I pushed past Kyle before Ed could reach us and rushed out of the hall. Oh that is, before glaring at Kyle.

End of flashback

Julie leaned back to the tree, "I don't see the point of you looking at eachother but not making a move for it." Kyle nodded in agreement, "though Edmund is trying.."

I looked back in his direction. I've got to admit, she does have a point. But I guess this comes with my anxiety. The reason why I cannot resist getting embarrassed and trying to run away. Thinking I'd get flustered, say something dumb and make a fool of myself.

Kyle abruptly stood up, waving at them. "Let's go over to them."

They looked our way waving at us.

Oh no. This is not good.

Peter, the oldest, stood up immediately motioning them to follow him. He began to jog in our direction, Edmund right at his feet.

Feeling like my heart would rip out of my chest I stood up by instinct only to be pulled back by Kyle. Giving me a devilish smirk he whispered into my ear, "oh no y/n.. not this time."

"Hey there!" Peter exclaimed. "We didn't notice you lot here until Edmund told us."

Kyle laughed, "neither did we.. it's great to see you all here." The boys busy engaging in a conversation of their own, I tried to keep my eyes away Edmund.

Lucy and Susan waved at Julie and I, coming over to start up a conversation. While talking I couldn't help but notice Edmund, Peter and Kyle sneaking glances in my direction. I was fighting to hold back the blush rising upto my cheeks. Deciding to brush it off, I listened to what the girls had to say.

"It's so great to see you after so long y/n!" Lucy gave me a hug. Hugging her back I smiled softly, "I'm sorry I couldn't come see you both sooner.. my schedules been so packed lately."

Susan nodded her head, "I heard. The student council has a lot of work going on at the moment." She placed a hand on my shoulder giving me a warm smile, "don't stress yourself y/n.."

Susan and Lu have always been like sisters to me even though I wasn't that close to Peter and Edmund. Hearing Susan's words really made me feel so much better.

A short timeskip (😂) >>>

"Excuse me girls, Y/n.. could I have a word with you?" Kyle interrupted. I nodded my head excusing myself and following him.

"Where are we going Kyle?"

He kept silent eyes focused ahead of him.

"Kyle???" I grabbed onto his arm, "where are you taking meee??" I whined.

"Just follow me.. I have something to tell you," I noticed how he tried to hold back a smile.

Walking further away from our friends we stopped by the water fountain. "Did we have to come this far?" He swiftly turned around to face me at once giving me a sharp gaze; me jumping back in shock at the action.

"Edmund likes you."

"What?" Did I just hear him say what I think he said? I'm pretty sure I'm just hearing things now. Maybe it's because Edmund was with us.

"Edmund likes you," he repeated emphasising his words. I scanned his face trying to see if he was joking or not.

He had to be messing with me right now. There's no way Edmund would like me.

I faked a laugh at him rolling my eyes, "haha very funny.."

"Y/n I'm not joking okay? He told me.. he really did," Kyle looked at me with a straight face. It looked rather believable but what if he was just joking?

Okay I can't take this anymore. At this point, he's messing with my feelings.

"Listen, Kyle.. I'm not buying this okay? If this is your way in pulling a prank on me. I'm not listening." Not wanting to hear anymore of this I turned around, getting ready to leave. But a strong grip on my wrist held me from leaving.

"Kyle no..." I trailed off, turning around to face him I widened my eyes in shock.

Now in Kyle's place stood Edmund.

I jumped backwards letting out a little yelp, "Edmund I-I." Looking around me I saw that Kyle had made his way away from us; pulling a thumbs up at me. I did not expect this.

"Y/N?" feeling my face heat up, I reluctantly shifted my gaze to Edmund. My eyes connecting with those chocolate brown eyes. My throat suddenly went dry.

The situation I was in, made my heart pound against my chest so hard. My crush was standing infront of me and what made me even more flustered? He was holding my hand. And boy were his hands soft.

It took everything in me not to go intertwining our hands together.

"Y-yeah?"

"Y/N, is it true?"

I gulped, "sorry I-I don't think I'm following?" Of course I knew what he was talking about.

"That you like me?" the expression on his face unreadable. I couldn't tell if he was going to be mad at me or happy. He looked at me with his piercing gaze, clearly waiting for an answer.

I can't lie to him.

I don't want to lie to him. I want him to know how I feel. But at the same time, I was scared that maybe Kyle was joking and this was all a prank. And I don't want to lose what Edmund and I have right now.

But my feelings decided to take over.

"I-I... please don't be mad at me. Umm.. yes it's true," I looked down at my hands, not wanting to meet his eyes. Nothing. No response. I knew it, it was too good to be true. All I wanted to do right now was go home and lock myself in my room. I wanted to cry so bad.

"I'm sorry. I-I have to go.." voice cracking. Once again, turning on my heels I walked away from him.

I expected him to hold me back. But no. My vision became blurry with the tears threatening to fall. I knew it. He didn't feel the same.

Just when my tears began streaming down uncontrollably, I bumped into something.

Oh great. Now you have to embarrass yourself infront of him too. I stumbled back losing my balance, bracing for the impact of the hard ground.

Only, I didn't feel anything. No pain.

I slowly opened my eyes, locking eyes with none other than Edmund. I gasped. Apparently, the something I had bumped into, was him. He had managed to wrap his arms around my waist, holding me steady.

Slowly helping me up he averted his gaze scratching the nape of his neck.

"Thank you.." I mumbled looking at my feet.

Suddenly I felt his large hands cup my cheeks, wiping my tears away.

"Y/n.." he whispered.

I looked back at him, his gaze so soft.

"Edmund I'm so sorry.."

"No no shh.. don't be sorry, what do you have to be sorry about?"

I opened my mouth to reply, but he gently placed his index finger on my lips. I felt like my heart would explode at this point.

"Y/n, I'm sorry I let you walk away like that. I just.. I couldn't believe it. That you actually like me."

I tilted my head in confusion.

He chuckled softly, "Y/N I like you too. Heck with it, I think I just might be in love with you."

Okay now I'm sure I was hearing things.

"R-really?" pinching myself just to make sure I wasn't dreaming, I whinced.

He chuckled. Nodding his head smiling softly, "I always have. Since the day Kyle introduced us. I felt so comfortable around you. I.." he took a deep breath, "I kept my feelings to myself because I thought you didn't feel the same. I was afraid of the rejection."

"Why would you think I'd reject you? "

He laughed, "well.. everytime I'd try to talk to you, you would run away."

At that, Julie came into my head. She had told me exactly that. I felt a pang of guilt. That was on me.

"I'm sorry.. I really like you too Ed. I was just so scared you know?"

Now it was his turn to look at me in confusion, "scared of what?"

I sighed, "I wanted to make a first good impression, I thought I'd make a fool of myself infront of you.."

He hummed, "well forget that now. You don't need to worry about making a good first impression on me anymore. Because I think you're just amazing." I felt my cheeks heat up once again.

"Y/N?"

"Yes Ed?"

"Since the feelings are mutual, would you do me the honour and let me court you?" I smiled nodding my head. My heart was fluttering with joy.

He wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me towards him and into his embrace, "finally.. I can do this and call you mine. I love you y/n."

Wrapping my arms around him I nuzzled my head into the crook of his neck, "I love you too Ed."

Pulling away I giggled. I was so happy. The moment I had been dreaming of for so long, finally came true.

Gazing into each others eyes we burst into giggles. "You don't know how happy I am right now," Edmund mumbled, leaning his forehead against mine.

"Oh would you both cut with the cute talk and kiss already?!" Peter yelled suddenly. We were so caught up in the moment we hadn't even noticed our little audience.

Lucy was squealing in joy while the others were giving us knowing looks. Like they knew this was going to happen all along. Which they actually did. Kyle winking at me, I really have to thank the guy I thought.

I turned back to face Edmund, who had his eyes on me already.

He cleared his throat, "c-can I?" He looked so flustered. Giggling I stood on my toes pecking his lips. When I pulled away I couldn't resist the urge to laugh.

His lips parted, eyes wide and pupils dilated. And the next minute he leaned down locking our lips together once again the two of us smiling into the kiss.

Well what do you know? Love finds a way..

Hey there everyone! I hope you all enjoyed this! Please send in requests guys, my inbox literally has flies in it 😂❤️

Love you all and stay safe ❤️

#edmund pevensie #edmund x reader #edmund pevensie x reader #edmund pevensie imagine #king edmund #peter pevensie #susan pevensie #lucy pevensie #prince caspian #narnia aslan #narnia #chronicles of narnia

[minyoonkeeks]

Pairing:Jin x Reader

Word Count: 4k

Summary: It was one thing to love him in secret, but when you think he might like you back it changes everything. (90% Fluff, 7% Angst, 3% I don't know what this is)

Warnings: None really, there is 1 mention of throwing up for like a second and a few mentioning anxiety but nothing serious

A/N: This is the first fic I've ever decided to write. I hope it resembles him a bit, but it was fun writing. I don't know if I'll continue either, I just hope I did Jin some justice (:

---

Becoming his friend always felt natural, kind of like mac meeting its cheese, or peanut butter finding its jelly. He was sweet, funny, goofy Seokjin. 2 years younger, but no one could ever tell the difference. He was smart, where it counted. He hated bugs, was extra competitive, and loved marvel as much as you. That made your friendship fun. You would chill in his apartment, play endless games of super smash, and compare recipes whenever you found something new you'd want to try. Because you came from different social groups, it seemed odd at first to your friends. They laughed when they couldn't picture it being real.

"No way _____! Do both of you just have pout monologues? Because I would hate to be in the middle of that blab fest!" Hobi joked as he pictures both of you endlessly going off on each other. You both have certain quirks and apparently over talking was one of them. The more you guys interacted when you were all together, the more your friends didn't believe it.

It wasn't until the first time you had all gone to the movies together as a group. Seokjin sat next to you and you could have sworn all the girls gave the biggest groan, making you turn beet red and Seokjin laugh awkwardly. But once all of your friends realised that's exactly what it was, a friendship, they were quick to stand up for it, because there wasn't anything more. Even when your girlfriends started noticing him.

Sometimes, a lot of times, being his friend was hard. He was a 10 everywhere he'd go, regardless of how nerdy he came off when he spoke. When he wore his dumb round glasses around his beautiful face girls would swoon saying that he looked like a lawyer. Sure, he'd never win with his dumb logic, you thought.

When he would have to attend a fancy dinner in slacks and the same blue button up with white stripes on the sleeve citing that it made him look longer even though you swore he was a whole nother you taller. "Look, you just have to go with me, no one else is fun, and they won't bug me if you go instead." He would insist, telling you his parents didn't mind if it was you going instead of another date. That would sting, you were never the date.

When he'd sit and play guitar to pass the time between picking you up from work and your coworkers would stare out the window and wonder when he would notice them. "How do you even function with him, ______? You clearly have the worst taste in guys if you don't find him attractive" one of them would say. 

"Yeah, sure, if you think gumby limbs are attractive." You'd scoff back, even though deep down you knew he was. Those were the most annoying times. Being Kim Seokjin's friend was definitely not easy.

"Hey, hurry up, we'll miss the next screening of Thor and I don't want to miss the credits!" Jin yelled from the lobby, making everyone turn and glare at how loud he was being, at least until they saw his face and proceeded to gawk at him.

"I know, I know, nerd. I don't get how you can watch this for the 5th time in theaters. Like you have a huge TV at home, why rewatch it here?" You quipped grabbing the popcorn from the attendant who just glared at you for calling Jin something other than Worldwide Handsome.

"I already told you, there's nothing like rewatching it with people who get it. And you know you get it or else you wouldn't have come with me anyway" he teased, making that pout that makes your heart flutter a little too much.

Those were most days with Seokjin and sometimes you couldn't take the stares from everyone. The ones that said "Hey why is that short girl hanging out with Jin all the time? He looks like he's babysitting." "Isn't it her though? She's the delusional one, he's way too good to cut her off though, I bet it's pity." You would overhear. You get it. It wasn't ideal for some tall, gorgeous albeit weird man to be hanging out with you of all people, but Jin didn't care because you were friends... friends. That's it.

And yeah, it hurt sometimes, seeing him go on dates, or staying at his apartment when he would tell you to wait for him, even though he was out with a girl 10 times prettier, he always came back alone. Always came back to you.

You had become a confidante for him. Someone who knew a little more, but didn't judge no matter what he did. You were the cool friend, the one everyone could depend on to be there, the one everyone joked to Jin about when they'd tell him to go look after his noona, and you, being as awkward as you were, always played it off when you'd see the pink hue in his cheeks. It never crossed your mind to think any different of him until your regular movie night Wednesday. 

You were binging Lord of the Rings on his couch, in your cookie monster pajamas left over from last time while you sat next to Jin, tired from working all day.

"I guess an office job can wear you out." He chuckled.

"Definitely in more ways than one. My brain can only take so much annoyance from everyone. I just need Aragorn to murder a few orcs and it'll make me feel 10 times better." You said yawning, while Jin just stared at the TV hands on his knees. He seemed out of it for some reason, but your day being as long as it had you didn't want to pry. Sometimes Jin liked silence, and this was definitely one of those times. 

As you watched the elves on screen, bow and arrow shooting towards the dark, you started dozing off on a pillow placed near his lap. You could feel his fingertips rubbing your scalp the way you had mentioned your mom did when you had a hard time sleeping. You could hear him humming a song, your favorite, especially because he had written it for your birthday last year. Things like this made you wish sometimes that people wouldn't joke the way they do. That it wasn't weird for you to be friends, because Jin got you. He knew you were quiet some days, and extra loud others. He knew when you just needed someone to lean on, and you hoped that's what you were to him.

And there in the quiet, as you were almost asleep, you heard him. Three simple words.

"I love you."

It felt surreal and incredibly intimate. But even though you wanted to look up and tell him you loved him too, you froze. Eyes shut, breathing heavy, and panic setting in. You didn't know what to do. You can't tell if he just meant it as a friend. And if he did then you'd lose him, the one person to make you feel like you belong when you really didn't. He kept stroking your head and you told yourself it wasn't a big deal, that you would pretend to sleep, until sleep became real, and in the morning you'd leave just as friends, how it's always been.

When you wake up, you feel really uncomfortable, not being able to get anything out of your head. Over thinking as always, and if this was any other situation, Jin would be the first person you'd tell. But that obviously wasn't possible, so you got up and grabbed you things, said an awkward goodbye and left him cooking pancakes for the both of you.

"Are you sure you don't want any?" He yelled as you were already opening the door to get out of his apartment.

"No it's fine. I forgot I had a meeting to get to and I have to go change and get ready. I'll text you later." You yelled back, trying to sound casual, and not like you were on the verge of throwing up from the anxiety.

You texted him that night and told him you needed to focus on work, that you'd have to go to a few meetings after and you wouldn't be able to meet up. His demeanor never changed, it was always silly Seokjin, always calm,cool, And sweet Seokjin.

JIN: Hey, no worries you're fine. I have to go to a few dinners too, but since you'll be in meetings I'll have to take Hobi or Tae, they're the only ones that like these events anyway.

YOU: Thanks, you should take that girl that you took last time though or you'll end up old and alone. :P

JIN: Maybe, not sure. I'll text you later though, bye!

It was fine right? You would be fine. And he would go out and be his normal charming cool guy self. Just like always. You just needed a moment to get back into the friend zone. And although you'd just lay in bed and lie to him about where you were, you knew eventually you'd have to see him. 

So the day came, well, he more so showed up at your apartment at two am and you couldn't really avoid him. When you opened the door, you don't look up, even though he towers over you. 

"____ what's wrong?"

You can hear the hurt in his voice as he says your name, and yet, you know that if you look up he'll see right through you. So you stare at his feet.

"Nothing just tired from work. What's going on?" You mumble, trying to keep your composure as you look up as him for the first time. He sighs and looks away, scratching the back of his head, trying to figure out what to say next.

"What did I do? Are you mad? I just, I don't know why you're avoiding me, and you tell me everything. So I can't fix it if I don't know what's wrong." He tells you quietly, as if he was reassuring himself to you. That your friendship meant more than just a few races of Mario Kart or a permanent plus one that he didn't have to explain more than just, "yeah, she's a friend." And everyone would just get it, no questions asked. 

But suddenly you were in his arms, and you can smell the fresh cotton scent you've become so used to. You can feel his warmth when he presses into you and you can hear his heartbeat pounding into your ears. 

It wasn't like you didn't miss him, you did, too much for a friend though. And how were you going to break it to him. That you, the one who's supposed to be the cool noona, who doesn't mind just being friends, was in too deep? How could you tell him so he just gives you time to be his friend again? Because losing him would be way worse than anything else thrown at you.

You squeeze your eyes shut as you wrap your arms around his torso in response to his sudden hug. It was second nature to do so, but this time it just felt like it was the last time and you wanted to hold on as long as possible. He brushed your hair with his fingers, and swayed side to side because he knew that made you smile. You took a deep breath, not realizing you had been holding it in since he had first leaned against you.

"It's ok, _______, hey I'm fine, you're fine, nothing's wrong. I know you need space sometimes, but I can't have you lying to me about where you are when we tell each other everything. I didn't mean to scare you. Hey, it's ok don't worry." He pats your head and holds you close realizing for the first time that you're crying. You clear your throat and back away from him wiping away your tears with your sweater paws, trying to regain a little sanity.

"I wasn't lying, I'm just ... tired." You tell him sounding coarse, more tired than you knew. "Work is overwhelming and I just needed some time to myself. You know me, I..."

"No, you don't,not from me anyway. You don't and I know because I know you _____, like the back of my hand I know you." Jin said, sounding louder than he meant to. Taking a step back and breathing once before continuing, "But, I get it. I'm not sure why, but I get that you need space from me." He looks down and sighs, making your heart break a little more each time. He pinches the bridge of his nose and you know it's his form of keeping a level head. He does it when he's mad, or worse, when he doesn't want you to see him cry. 

He looks at you one more time and you can tell. He's tired, and his pleading look is something you thought you'd never be the cause of. But, what's worse? Leaving it here, or telling him the truth and watching him walk out, for real this time?

"Just... give me 2 more days. I just need 2 more days and I promise I'll come back. I just... I just need 2..." you stare at him, but with your own pleading look this time, you words soft and sad. For what, you don't know. Maybe the end, realizing, it might be the last time he visits you?

"Ok, ok _______. 2 days, but when you come back to me I want to know. I really do, whatever you give me. I'll accept it, just like you do to me. No judgement, no worries. But please, 2 days, come back." He grabs your hand and rubs along your wrist, a sign of affection he was used to giving you as he goes in for one more hug. This time he holds you a little tighter, maybe even a little longer, before he clears his throat, takes a deep breath and turns to walk to his car.

You stare at him going down the sidewalk and breathe, 2, 3. He's almost gone ______, and then you really need to get your shit together before you really lose him, you chide yourself silently.

Jin turns and waves, nodding once for goodbye while he smiles softly. His cheeks puff a little in the lamplight and you can see a glare. There was no way he was crying was there? You'd only seen him do it once when you dared him to eat your grandma's salsa that had a little too much jalapeño causing him to cry out in pain. The confused look you had, made him stop for a second before getting into his car and leaving towards his home.

Lying in bed, you kept twisting and turning, feeling way too hot to sleep and nothing could fix it. You walk to the kitchen and pull out some food, but it just gives you nausea thinking about what just happened so you settle for the milk and cereal.

Why'd you have to be so suspicious looking? Like you did something you weren't proud of? I mean, being in love with your best friend isn't a crime, it's just, not common, especially between you two. You went over the scenario in your head again, thinking about what you should have done differently so you wouldn't have to tell him the truth. You look at the cereal and look at the almost empty carton of milk before you grab a bowl and throw everything in trying to stuff your face and forget. 

2 days, 2 days, to figure out how to tell Jin that you love him in a way that isn't the same anymore. And it's all his fault, his, and stupid Lord of the Rings, that you promised to never watch again if this didn't fix itself.

To say that you were productive in trying to figure out the best way to tell your best friend that you were in love with him was a complete over exaggeration. You lied in bed, eating snickers, listening to old Taylor Swift songs- that you hated, but Jin thought were cute, and cried into your pillow like a maniac. There were moments of clarity sure, where you'd write, or at least begin to write, Jin a letter of things you wanted to tell him. Maybe give him a pros and cons list of being your friend still, but you always came up short, Both literally and figuratively. It was frustrating because at the end of the day, Jin had everything. He had his best group of friends, he had girls fawning over him, he had a stable family, a bougie apartment, and a great job. All you offered were some really intense matches of Capcom VS Marvel, and we all know, Jungkook would be a much better opponent. But here you were, trying to figure out where you went wrong, why you had to take his confession in any other way than platonically, and therefore ruin your friendship.

Day 2 came by after a sleepless night. You called Jin and told him as cool as you could that you'd be at his house no later than 8, and to be ready with Captain America Winter Soldier because it was the best and he couldn't change your mind.

"Yes, I get it. Bucky is your dude, no need to rub it in. Don't forget though" his voice getting softer, "I miss you so hurry up"

"Yes I know, you can't live without me and life is unbearable because you have no one warm to cuddle to. Although, I should definitely charge for being your own personal teddy bear." You laugh, as calmly as you can, nerves on the other end running towards you throat to make you sound cringier than normal. 

7 o'clock came and you got ready. Jeans and Jins sweatshirt, not that he would care. Most of them ended up in your house and consequently on you because you liked that his long arms made the perfect sweater paws. You put your hair up in a bun and you told yourself once more through the mirror, "Hey, it isn't the end, everything goes, and if he does too, you'll survive". You nodded to yourself and put the best fake smile you could as you walk towards your car and get in, driving to your version of the end of the world.

Jin opens the door and his eyes light up in the best possible way. You always admired that about him, his true emotions always on his sleeve, and today, you hoped that his eyes would stay like this even after your confession. 

"You gonna let me in or do I have to shove my way through?" You smile as best you can, telling yourself, only a few more minutes until it's all over, just breathe, you'll be ok.

"Nah, you can fight me first!" he teased and went in for a hug. You inhaled his scent like it was the only oxygen you could ever need in life. It was odd, he didn't let go, and although you hated the thought of doing it first, you knew you had to, so you rubbed his back a second went in for the kill, tickling him in his ribs when he least expected it.

"Really!? Wait, no stop! STOP IT YOU WIN!!" He yells as he pulls you in for another hug, He breathes you in for a second, relaxing, "I really missed you. This was way too long, and I don't know how I survived without you" he sighed, his shoulders slouching into you, even when he could easily engulf your whole body in his large frame.

You blush pulling back and patting his arm in the friendliest of ways, "Back at you! Let's go watch Bucky be a beast!" Hoping that he didn't see you cringe to yourself as you said it.

What a dork, you murmur to yourself as you sit on his couch, knocking your shoes off one at a time. You sit cross legged on the sofa waiting for the movie to start before Jin turns off the screen.

"Hey" he says as he sits in front of you on the floor in the same exact way as you. You look at him, a sneer in your stare as you grab a pillow and throw it at his head. He chuckles as he turns away trying not to get hit. But as he turns back you can see the look in his eyes. It's the same one he had 2 nights ago, and it's the one you knew would come back today.

"Yeah, what's up" you tell him, tilting your head to the side,hoping he can just see the tension in your face and leave it alone.

He stares at you for a quick second, thoughts floating in his pupils about what move to make next.

He gets on both knees and gets close to your face, startling you frozen in front of him. You can feel him breathing on you, and you don't know why, but the sudden urge to cup his face with your hand comes out snd you're rubbing your thumb across his cheek. 

He holds your hand within his and closes his eyes for a second, and you can feel him shaking slightly. Is he nervous? Does he think you'll leave him on purpose? I guess it's now or never.

"Jin, I.."

"I know, and if it makes you feel better, I do too."

"Lies, you don't even know what I'm going to say. Do you always have to win? I mean I try my hardest and it's not fair when your fingers are longer than ..." and his lips are on yours, effectively shutting you up from saying something even more stupid than you already had.

You look around the room, feeling like it's spinning, holding on for dear life to his sweater collar because if you let go you'd collapse. 

You close your eyes and and scrunch your face trying to burn it into your memory. A kiss, that's all this is, but it's not. It's his kiss. It's dorky, nerdy, handsome, beautiful Jin's kiss and it's perfect, just like him.

You slowly wrap your hands around his neck as he breathes you in, turning slightly so you can be more comfortable and pulls back to smile at your dumbfounded face. You keep your eyes closed hoping it wasn't just a figment of your imagination before you hear him chuckle, his stupid Jin chuckle.

"What? Why are you laughing? Is this funny to you? How?! How rude" you aim to slap his arm, but he catches it and grabs you by the waist pulling you in for a hug.

"Don't ever do that again, you promise? It wasn't fun, and I don't know if I scared you when I told you I love you because I thought you were sleeping, but I really meant it." Jin kisses your collarbone as he nuzzles into your neck.

"I didn't know, I really didn't, but I'm glad I do now. This anxiety was killing me, and literally the only person I could tell was Tae and we all know how weird he gets when we talk about our feelings. I mean, remember that one time I-"

"Just, here, -" He places another kiss on your lips, then your cheeks, your nose, and your forehead, effectively making you mush. "At least now I know how to really shut you up when you start your monologues"

"Oh shut up and come here" you smile and you pull him up to the couch and snuggle with him under the blanket. 

This was the one thing you didn't think would happen today, and although you lost maybe 10 years from the anxiety alone, it was definitely worth it, you tell yourself as you look at him while he's singing along to the marvel theme song. 

That's my nerd, my Jin.

#seokjinnie #kim seokjin #seokjin #bts seokjin #seokjin imagine #seokjin x reader

[scooperkin]

I've seen someone draw the puppet with muscles (I have the picture on my phone)

Sorry I got a bit carried away with my insight on this and the fnaf characters, style and designs in the form of horror media so it’s long and under readmore

Forgive me for any writing errors, this was written on impulse and I probably won’t look into fleshing it out:

I don’t think there’s anything inherently wrong with art or portrayals of the Puppet with more human-based anatomy features but it’s tiring to see this non-stereotypical gendered entity/child’s toy that isn’t supposed to be presented as anything near human both for the in-universe creative of the children’s imaginations, but also as a horror character that is importantly keep vague because a as a horror character, the unknown of what it could be and it’s odd undefined behavior coupled with this vague humanoid but, UNhuman frame makes it scary to in-universe adults, as well as real fans.

So seeing it so commonly characterized as a shapely-human just ruins the original intent and just takes away my interest in whatever story or fanart is being presented to me. And while this is a personal opinion and really doesn’t matter in what content people should do as if it disinterests me I’ll move on but those who enjoy it will still enjoy it. And there also fan content I’ll still occasionally remain interested that present not just the Puppet but other fnaf characters in campier and, stylistic content; any more serious, spooky, horror or more faithful fan media that has both the Puppet and other FNAF characters portrayed more comfortably artistic light, such as the Puppet having a “motherly” body shape (most likely thanks to Living Tombstone’s FNAF 2 song), as well as Toy Chica’s already feminine body pushed further with more defined features about her body (*ahem* boobies). And notice again how a lot of this is more aimed at the more “feminine” of the cast.

Circus Baby, along with Ballora, are the only animatronics that ends up being drawn straight up as organic entities even when in the presence of their fellow Funtimes, still depicted as their more horrific, robot designs. It’s fine if they’re drawn as regular furries and Baby and Ballora as human women (or little girl), its a chosen style someone chose, and again this isn’t wrong just because I don’t find it interesting enough, it’s not my cup of tea and I move on. But, several times I’ve come to accounter, more organically designed characters often are reduced to basic human features in their design. The Puppet gets curvy, Ballora and Baby get real hair that fluffies and moves organically, Baby herself often made into a tiny cute friendly young girl. The (fixed) Mangle, and Funtime Foxy getting more curves and floof. And don’t even get me started on people who sexualize these characters to the point they’re just human bodies with cartoon heads to just be more comfortable with consuming not safe for work content of them, proving as well these character’s designs, in the long run, don’t matter in this nsfw work, but that’s a different subject on a different type of content for a different day. (And notice how all these characters are feminine? While Scrap Baby can be portrayed as a cute girl in fan content but Molten Freddy is still what he is in the game in his fan content.)

Circus Baby is highlighted by the fact she is a massive robot towering over even the tallest of men, a single eye of her’s can fit two if not four pairs of human eyes in it’s size. Her fingers, thicker than most children’s arms. Is TERRIFYING. And she’s supposed to be. She’s a horror game character. Her scale towers over adults, their parents, the protectors of their children. Her movements are jerky and uncanny, her stare to an older audience member or child can give them the creeps. But ultimately her design–safe, safe for children to run up to, and safe for a child to trust. While her existence and design as a whole in-universe and above the surface is so supposed to be a large child, an older sister, still young enough to play with you but old enough to trust to be alone with. But behind the stage, back underground, that’s not who she really is. I’ve never seen Circus Baby as a giant child as she is seen to the outside world, no because underground, in the darkness she’s kept, we’re shown the real her, the true her. She isn’t some dumb playful child, she is a discerning actor. And her “real” mental age can be debated and discussed among fans, but it’s clear she isn’t an arrogant child. And more specifically for me, I see her depicted as an actress. An actress who’s been conformed to take on this child role both on and off stage. She purposely has a voice higher, she purposely choices her innocent-word structuring. She’s acting, she’s Pretending for the sake of her own safety against this Location she’s in. When even being off character for a moment such as taking a rest off your stage gives you a painful shock. It’s not too unusual as several stars and actors, usually young and more impressionable ones are told to act a certain way even with off-screen. A good example of this is several child stars on the work of Disney Channel original series. They tell their actresses to dress a certain way, to speak in a higher voice, don’t be serious, always smile. Because it earns the trust and love from children viewers better than just, Bella Thorne or Miley Cyrus being her honest self off set to their younger fans. Too risky, keep your voice pitched up. And even though you’re 19 please, please don’t act like it, act younger, the kids won’t ever relate to you if you sound too old, if you act to old. So while Baby and the other Funtimes’ situation is a very exaggerated version of this (no don’t worry no disney stars are getting shocked when they don’t act hard enough) to the point that it’s a horror genre story about it makes sense why this is unsettling as a player and in the Funtimes’ shoes.

So while Baby does everything to keep pretending, this is something Ballora can’t do. Ballora can’t pretend, she refuses. She refuses to pretend when under the surface away from the crowds and people, where she’s alone and can be herself. But she doesn’t get that, she gets shocked and ends up being scooped to “fix” her. Too much free will. Foxy isn’t explored as much but I feel goes through the same trouble as Ballora. And the only one who is seemingly left unpunished is Funtime Freddy, not even getting his own room, just stored somewhere until it’s time for a show. It’s implied he’s either the least sentient out of the cast or the one who acts closest to his original programmed personality. But either reason leaves him unpunished, not locked away for safety and disobedience. He’s unpunished but left alone in a single storage room. But whoops maybe having him follow his programming better than the others wasn’t the best idea. As he gets confused to when he’s on or off stage, when he should be sleeping, forgetting this hug is too tight for a child, or that said child is actually an employee that happened to go into the Breaker Room and is in fact not a birthday boy.

So Baby is unsettling both by design, in context, as well as her history, being created by the infamous William Afton making her again, do things she didn’t want to. So when I see her turned down into cutesy little teen girl or small child, and portrayed as such, I can’t help but again lose interest. And once again this is more of a personal preference, that isn’t how I understood Baby to be, or that she needed to be fixed from a large scary robot to cutesy bab. But it’s how others want it and I step away.

And I know this sounds like I’m going everywhere with this, and barely has to do with your ask, but I fear my post may have been mistaken as I feel this ask is talking about a way people shouldn’t draw or portray the Puppet when I wasn’t trying to say and I’m sorry if it came across that way.

As it stands a muscular portrayal of the Puppet is harmless, and a rarity in re-contributing fan media when compared to the more favored “curvy” puppet design trend. And of course these portrayals are no big deals in the end, and it’s just a preference but, I see more and more young artists following these trends because they seem more normalized. And no it’s not the original artists, of the young artist’s lack of understanding but, the fact that a lot of the fnaf fandom doesn’t treat fnaf like the horror media it is. Which is fine on it’s own, but when it’s brought up, I can’t help but look at a large side of fans like I’m looking at a Happy Tree Friends AMV with a song like this. Yeah Happy Tree Friends is a disturbing creation on it’s own but it’s not because it’s done in seriousness and the fact it’s cutesy IS what makes it disturbing, not any relevance it has to a subject or stories its trying to tell. So paired with a song as intestine and serious in tone as this one just seems…. silly. The editor wanted it to be horrific and scary but with the content at hand… it’s nearly impossible to do and takes a lot of figuring out to make work and only a few horror media can pull it off. And once again maybe this is just a me problem and how I intake content, for me FNAF is a horror story, a tragedy, it keeps you up at night not because the fiction itself is scary, but the contents implied and the contents hinted. Freddy Krueger was a sadistic child murderer in life because it was the evilest and scariest human conduct he could think of. And it’s why it’s so disturbing in FNAF that this ominous purple figure for the first few games was clouded in mystery and terrifying because while Krueger he killed innocent children, the purple figure was scarier over the fact he worked with these children, and he might still have worked with said children and he was Never caught and we didn’t even know his name back then. But we, the player saw him. Then we’re given just his vague actions of not only killing innocent children for no rhyme or reason (and any reasons at the time being just as horrifying )he then“Stuffed the victims in the animatronics” makes you think about how utterly disturbing that is. How did he even manage to do that, how did they not find him, that’s so horrible? And if the Puppet did that, why? The Puppet is vaguely sympathetic or is it? Because why would it do something so disturbing and as horrible as stuffing children into metal suits to the point their blood and organs leaked out, even in the name of “saving” them. It’s still horrible! It’s still tragic!

So when I see attempts at acknowledging in the horror in FNAF I want to give reminders that despite everything, Baby was HORRIFYINGLY big, looked had a cuteness that leaves people with the uncanny feeling of a porcelain doll’s stare. (as well as Ballora’s horrific treats being based off that).

That the Puppet despite everything it’s not a human, and has never been shown to bend in the same way a human can, and when it does move its arms and legs are still stretched out in space as it jumps in to kill you.

And to keep aspects like this when creating fan horror content or original horror content. The simplest of choices are usually the best ones, the feeling of being unable to move while your vague unknown attacker's inch closer and closer, to walk blindly in the dark with dangerous creatures. And in the end of this scary tragedy, or wanting things to be happy again, trying to solve the mystery, trying to make the horrible less horrible, only death awaited. For all of us.

[itsmeizumine]

so, i searched high and low for a post i swore i made talking about why i wanted to make a naruto oc and had this initial blurb and everything that i just intended to add on, but since it disappeared somehow, i'll start again

it's going to be long, but feel free to tag along the ride under break!!

_________________________________________

so, i know anyone who has followed me for a while might have caught up to the fact that i’m on my own naruto nostalgia personal hell right now. it has been dragging for a few months in and out since my lil sibs started to watch the ENTIRETY of naruto franchise just because (we’re talking about all filler eps, all arcs, all ovas, all movies; they’re real champs like that). we all are stuck in the same rooms with each other and nowhere else to go so there was really no way to escape this even if i wanted too, which… i did, in the beginning, not gonna lie (i can’t handle second-hand embarrassment guys, i just can’t, and kid naruto is– oh my god); but then i kind of settled on this constant utterly mortified state so deeply nothing else phased me enough to stop watching the damned thing with my sibs, and here we are.

(and pls, don’t get me wrong. i love naruto, it was important to me as a kid and i still feel echoes of its impact on me even now in my life; it’s just– watching it with my kidsie sibs and parents in the same room with it dubbed in my native lang and them having no context to most things anime, just… no lol)

and god, as much i like the series, rewatching it made my heart ache too. kid naruto had an awful life, dude. for real. it just made me want to swoop in, adopt him and get him somewhere else asap the whole time we watched classic. it was devasting blow after devasting blow since day one, and it took too long for him to find support and bonds (as flimsy as they were) he could cling and lean on (and even then he was left/had to leave behind some).

idk guys, i might be overthinking this but kids in precarious situations always make me emotional af

so i thought: my mojo is making ocs, okay, that’s how i dive into fandoms and such, maybe i could make someone he could call a friend? even if it’s just to comfort him and myself a bit?? yeah, let’s go with this

and like, i wanted him to have someone to goof up with and be silly and talk freely and not have to appear awesome to with that false bravato of his (because he uses that when he’s not comfortable, and i really really really need him to be, for once) but i also wanted him to have someone he could fall back whevener he wants, no questions asked, and that could take care of him if things came down to it, but couldn’t strip naruto’s control over his own situation as an adult would (because that’s terrifiying thing to feel, no control over what’s gonna happen to yourself; now imagine that as a kid that has to live and tend and watch out for their own well-being themselves or else they might as well die in a ditch and no one - in naruto’s mind on the very beggining of classic - would bat an eye?? yeah, no good indeed); so an older kid it had to be. older sibling figure or whatever.

and since i wanted this older kid to approach naruto amicably, they couldn’t be a kid native to konoha, even if they were there from on and beyond. or else they’d first think of naruto in the preconceived notions leaf-civilians kid thought (as a vague monster/demon their parents made of him), or as leaf-nin kid thought (a dumb numbskull, disgrace of the academy).

so before i even started on the kid themselves, i had to settle on a place out of konoha to start the deal (hahaha going through naruto wiki pages on my dying computer was so much fun guys, you have no idea)

i didn’t find a location that made sense in the wiki so i came up with something on my own. it turned out really cool actually. i’m going to link a post talking about this location in particular because this post is too long already, but what you need to know about shokinin daichi is that it was a completely civilian-based settlement. no one was prevenient from a ninja clan and married out of it for peace and quiet, no one had a second cousin that once dreamed about shinobi life as a kid or anything. i know it seems unfathomable in naruto’s universe to such a place exist, especially with how the world is exposed to us on the anime at least, but believe me, it’s more likely than you think. there’s far too much empty space on naruto’s geography and petty, small 1x1 feuds between clans for it not to. shokunin daichi was a place civilians were relatively content with their lives, and if one of them was more ambitious they’d aim for bigger things, yes, but it wouldn't usually scale so far as to become ninja.

my kid, kawarake, was the same. his family made up one the cores of the sanka clan, but since no one was looking forward to taking the clan head’s position from the main family anytime soon, they all lead relatively quiet lives with their own thing going on. the sanka clan run the ranch of shokunin daichi, and each of its cores took care of one kind of animal. kawarake’s family core took care of horses, and he spent most of his days since he was five tending to them or taking care of his littler cousins who wanted to tend them. if he wasn’t on the stables, he’d be strolling in the settlement’s main square to talk to and help all his extended family, or he’d be in his little hide-out by the river farther south from it. he was looking forward to start an apprenticeship under kakka’s clan on metalwork once he was bit older to have the excuse to go out of the settlement more often, but there was no rush on his part still. he was fine like this.

one seemingly random night, with most of the settlement preparing to lay down for the day, a group of nuke-nin found the place. no one knew how, nor who they were; and whoever was left after that disaster could only guess why, but as soon as the rogue shinobi caught sight of the quaint little thing that was kawarake’s home they started to set things on fire. they pillaged and ransacked and destroyed everything in their wake and soon it became clear that there was little to no thing the civilians could do to defend themselves, even with their mattocks and sickles and ropes and wooden planks and the strongest men and women there. smoke and heat enclosed around all of them, and people that had lived their entire lives there together were forced to leave with no plan or direction, just the clan heads’ ultimate order to grab who they could in their way out and survive. hope against hope that they’d find each other again.

kawarake had managed to find his nephew, and be found by his mom before they had to leave the remains of their burning, collapsing ranch behind. with stingy eyes and searing burns and scratches and soot here and there, they made their way out of the settlement to find kawarake’s dad and a distant cousin by chance, but couldn’t manage to reach a group - their people - running in the distance before they too dispersed each to some direction in search of safety. between the kawarake’s mom, dad and cousin, they decided that their best bet would be to seek refuge in konoha for now; and there they fleed to through forest and packed dirt as the night went on.

i don't think it's confirmed in canon but i've seen it around enough in fanfiction to think it might have been implied somewhere. the politics of seeking refuge in a hidden village might change from country to country but i think there's a consistency on the treaty: it has to be compensated for the risk it takes in accepting the refugee, either by trade if the said refugee can has capital to start producing right away or by demanding a shinobi from the refugee's household.

kawarake then becomes the first gen nin of his family, in order for them to stay in konoha and under it's protection. he's the best conventional candidate because of his age; his cousin and parents at too old for the academy, and his nephew too young. he's uneasy in the beginning, he's surrounded by ninja that can, with a few hand seals, create a catastrophe as big as what happened on his settlement just because they felt like it, and that's disconcerting af, but once he realizes that he's also gaining this power, and he's also also learning how to counter it, he manages to ease up a little bit. he even starts to look forward to the possibility of making missions out of konoha in the end; that way he can look around for all his family, and warn them they have a safe place to stay in konoha.

his family arrives two years after the uchiha massacre, and he graduates as a genin on team 3 the same semester as neji, tenten and lee. here's what i have of him and his team, intend to post more soon

he's a nice kid, guys, but he really shouldn't run around with a kunai like this

here's him, isako (also oc, gotta write stuff for her) and shiyoka (same, tho y'all have seen art of them and kawarake together already), their sensei is dope too and deserves her own presentation just because.

#izumine talks #naruto #oc #long post #character backstory #character backgrounds #kawarake #isako #shiyoka #eihi #man i had to get this out of my system #but this wasn't the best way to do so #eh whatever #i got carried away #i was on my computer