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#or just feel alone in general in fandom

laniemae · 26 days

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Kinda need to vent here but I really have to talk about how the fandom has completely ruined Mikoto for me. Like, I really like him as a character and I know I shouldn’t base my opinions off the fanbase but it’s just really hard. Mikoto’s the most popular character and I’ve seen him everywhere so much to the point it’s almost sickening to me. Like, normally I’d like it with “oh yay one of my favorite characters is popular” but the fandom interpretation of him is just so different than how he actually is it’s really diminishing my view on him. I want to like Mikoto as much as I should but it’s really hard having to see all of this stuff.

And besides that whole general fandom thing, even what happened at the start of the year which I don’t even need to explain anymore also very much ruined him for me and sometimes looking at him I just think about that and bad memories keep flooding in. Also around a month or two ago I saw a maintagged nsfw post which made me really uncomfortable as I hate seeing that sort of stuff of my favorite characters and I still see the person who posted it everywhere and I can’t stop thinking about how it made me feel. And it’s to the point where it’s one of my most common intrusive thoughts and I really wanna yell at them for that but I think they deleted the post and said multiple times how they were worried of making people uncomfortable but that’s exactly what happened.

yeah the last paragraph was very personal stuff but I just feel so bad that I cannot like Mikoto how I want to and everything about him has been completely spoiled for me and it’s so painful.

I just wanna know if anyone else feels the same way as I don’t think I’ve had a character ruined for me as much as Mikoto and I feel like I’m stuck between hating him and loving him

#milgram #mikoto kayano #I guess one of the main reasons why I like mikoto in the first place is John is my 2nd favourite character #So naturally when analysing him I’d have to think about mikoto which lead to me appreciating him more #But as I said it’s so hard to like him with his overwhelming popularity overshadowing everyone else #And even the popularity just focused around a watered down version of him #And because of that I can’t really count him in my milgram blorbo list (amane john muu kotoko) but he’s still one of my favorites #It’s at the point I feel really bad for even liking mikoto at all for the impact he’s had on the fandom and I feel bad about myself #John hasn’t been as badly ruined for me as mikoto but since his fandom interpretation has completely changed his personality #It’s kinda hard to like him fandom wise as much as I do generally and it feels empty #If he’s not being badly mischaracterised he’s only reduced to a ship tool and never viewed ss an actual complex character #Which has lead even 0909 being spoiled in my mind even though I quite like it despite not being a ship person #Because I love their canon dynamic but it’s never portrayed how it is #I just really don’t wanna feel alone in how badly mikoto (and John to an extent) have been ruined for me #But I just hate hate hate everything about how they’ve been portrayed by fans

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heymacy · 6 months

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hi macy :) I read about your personal experience with finding yourself too invested in the gallavich fandom to the point of feeling upset about it and I have to say... that happened to me too. the compulsory need to engage even when there's no good feeling at the end of it, the constantly thinking about it to the detriment of other activities... I don't know if it's maybe because shameless and gallavich deal with heavy topics, or just one of the ways online engagement and hyperfixations can evolve, but I felt so much better once I removed myself from it, able to find joy in numerous other activities, and fandoms too! just wanted to share this - the fact that I had the same experience - and wanted to say I'm glad you're doing better now :)

hello my love! thank you for reaching out! i'm very glad that you were able to find solidarity in what i shared. re: heavy topics - i know that for myself, not being faced with content regarding my own disease on a daily basis has been a nice change of pace for me. i haven't felt as consumed by it since i took a step back. i think sometimes the content we engage with colors our real-world experiences and that was definitely the case for me. i've never been a casual viewer of media or a casual enjoyer of things so it doesn't surprise me that what happened to me, happened. i love having the capacity now to enjoy other things - and hey, i still engage with fandom here and there! i'm loving RWRB content right now (i have just a tiny bit of brain rot regarding those two) along with some jane austen adaptations and other such things! media is beautiful and transformative and i love putting stickers on the scrapbook that is my blog! thank you for your kind words - i'm glad i'm doing better now, too. it feels good. it feels healthy and normal. and i really hope everyone can find a balance if they're feeling off-kilter. also, i love you. did you know that? thank you for popping in 💛 feel free to do it any time you please, i'm always hanging around somewhere!

#i'm really happy that my experience doesn't seem to be this unusual isolated thing and it makes me feel better knowing others like. get it!#i've been reading a lot of books and watching a lot of movies and writing my book and it just feels GOOD #and i guarantee if the gallavich/shameless spark ever reignites for me i would be able to engage in a far healthier and more casual way #it just didn't go that way the first time around #and i'm glad i was able to recognize that and make that distinction and work through it and come out the other side more clear-headed #also i feel like i should say this bc i got a message about it the other day:#i am not speaking negatively about the fandom whatsoever when i share bits and pieces of my experience #i love the fandom. i love the people and the characters and the content and the fics and the art and everything about it #it's just how MY BRAIN decided to handle things #it is not a reflection on anyone or anything else #i don't want anyone to think i'm shit-talking the fandom or shit-talking fandom in general or anything like that bc i promise i'm not #i just had an experience and i felt compelled to share it in case anyone else could relate #and also so i could maybe not feel so alone and isolated in my experience #and it seems like i succeeded which feels really good #i love you fandom i love you anon i love everyone and everything that the gallavich/shameless fandom gave me #i will treasure it forever #always in my heart etc etc etc #macy babbles #anons

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roostertuftart · 2 years

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I keep seeing this whole debate about people ruining fanon and stuff by criticizing it or whatever and while I get that sentiment in some respects, it kind of comes off to the degrees it’s gone to as “don’t ever criticize my portrayal of a character even on your own blog because it ruins fandom” as if people having debates/conversations about what is ooc and what isn’t is a bad thing that shouldn’t happen bc it might… idk. Ruin creativity?? Like I’m all for people having a lot of freedom in fiction and I don’t like when people try to control in large part what other people can write and draw but we can still??? Discuss?? These things??? And talk about them?? Like you have to make statements and put out ideas when you discuss how a character is written and sometimes that’s going to contradict other people and sometimes that might turn into a debate even and that’s a good thing?? Idk.

I think I’m just tired of it being turned into stuff like “oh well you’re telling me I can’t do this” NO, i’m telling you it seems OOC imo and you can ignore me and do what you want, I don’t care.

#this isn’t about any specific people #but it is lowkey in light of recent discourse I was in #and I still see posts come up that seem to be referring to it vaguely and kind of immaculately and ugh it’s annoying #*inaccurately #like idk man i don’t care what you write I leave people alone unless it’s a meta post bc those are pretty fair game #and even then I tend to stick to my own blog #and yet i still see people like ‘well why do you care? why do you have to have an opinion on this? why can’t people do what they want’#like bro THEY CAN I JUST WANNA TALK ABOUT FANDOM TROPES I THINK ARE INACCURATE #bc like!! whether I’m right or wrong in your opinion #I’d like to see them change and I have arguments as to why I think they should! but if someone disagrees or doesn’t want to listen THEY CAN #people act like they’re being harassed just block me if it bothers you someone has opinions on things ugh #me talking #kind of a vent ig but like idk! I gen feel like the whole ‘never talk about a fiction thing you don’t like bc it’s bad for creativity’ is #in itself bad for creativity and general critical thinking #south park fandom #discourse #<<<not really but I know some people don’t like this type of stuff at all so

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imissjensi · 2 years

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when i die, and whatever entity at the end greets me, it will allow me to ask one single question. it can be anything, and it will answer truthfully. i could ask what the meaning of life is, or whether the world is better off without me. i could ask for a list of all the people who have had crushes on me, or what my life would have been like if i took one different turn. i could ask for something relating to my trauma, or my old friends. i could ask how my remaining family members will live the rest of their lives, or how many people came to my funeral. but i already know what question i will ask. no matter if i die today, in five years or sixty, the question will always be the same. the one question that has been plaguing me since i was twelve years old.

when i die, i will look this entity in the rough approximation of where it's eyes should be, and i will ask:

"what is the population of the lost cities?"

and i will be able to rest in peace.

#humans overpopulate the world its a huge problem #rant in the tags #kotlc #kotlc fandom #keeper of the lost cities #WHAT IS THE POPULATION OF ELVES SHANNON TELL ME PLEASE #this drives me fucking insane #like genuinely how can you create a secret world where people don't die of old age that's been around for thousands of years and not set a #population like literally what the fuck #i feel like population is an absolutely vital piece of world building information shannon please just give me a number #no generational turn over means the number will not flatten out like in the real world #the number just keeps raising exponentially #the elves have no reason to be like when they don't even fucking die and have been #around just as long #like i understand that elves don't have as many kids #and there are large gaps between when they have kids like alden is over 200 years old i believe #so i know that the number isn't in the billions or whatever but it has to be close to a million #i refuse to believe that there are only a few thousand #like think about how many mentors there has to be alone in foxfire to teach all those kids one on one #especially if they've been around for as long as the fucking dinosaurs because i'm still not over that #anyways rant over this bothers me immensely and now you all know too

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angeltism · 6 months

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✍️ for whatever fandom would treat you yhe weirdest

OHH . This took some THINKING but def the bn.ha fandom . but maybe that's just bc my s/i existing there would fuck shit up sooo much like . she's kinda a Mary Sue,, (which I mean is great and amazing and she's wonderful and I'm wonderful) but maybe they'd be chill ????

Wait fuck fuck nevermind wait hold on I'm in the middle of writing this and I realized nawt only would she be treated weirdly for her flawlessness (maybe? I haven't reviewed her writing and backstory in years idk if she's actually Flawlessly Flawed But It's Kyute Tho™) but I have a feeling she'd be over t-rexualized (CRYING I'm talking like a YouTuber crying to nawt get demonitized it's almost 12am cut me some slack let me be silly and weird w how I sat things) or her relationship w my husband would be or both . and nobody would get her nuance right because she's a girl and we all know ppl love watering down fem characters into either mother, girlboss, whore or [literally irrelevant forgotten about] oh god . yeah ok idk how I didn't think of this but OHHH yeah she'd be treated so weirdly oml 🫥

#➳ the fool's mail box #➳ sender; anonymous #like she does fit into those very generalized 3 tropes but #she's also this traumatized girl who is so so tragic and who could have been saved if things were maybe just a little bit different #she's also this incredibly caring nurse but she's also a ruthless killer and she's also this massive lover of life and all living things bu #she helps to just destroy and destroy and destrou and destroy #and it's for love and she's so head over heels but she still makes her own decisions and js #*is just-#i don't even think i can purroperly put all of . HER . into words rn . and maybe that's just me being tired but i sure as fuck am nawt #trusting the fandom w her like ohh no leave her alone 😭😭😭#like she is so many things at ONCE and i feel like even if one or two sides of her were noticed by a specific amount of beings #then they'd neglect the rest of her .#she's a killer but she still loves and nurtures and cares and cries and 10000 other things #she can be motherly but also spiteful and immature and rude and cold and giddy and innocent and bright eyed #etc etc etc as i said it is Late and i could go on about her forever #does this make it sounds like I'm trying to make myself sound overly mysterious and complicated #lol don't answer that either way I'm hsppy #2 sY i dony care and ohmygod i am so tired holyshit #goodbgitht

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yellowharrington · 2 months

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wildflower and barley -- joel miller x reader

pairing + fandom: joel miller x reader, the last of us (hbo)

word count: 5k+ oops

warnings/notes: smut smut smut!!! minors DNI, 18+!!! no outbreak!au. age gap (it's implied reader is in her 20s while joel is 45) and mentions of joel being kinda perverted and liking it lol. drinking (both reader and joel, not excessive), use of a dating app like tinder but not specified, unprotected PIV w creampie and oral (m+f receiving), do not fuck your tinder hookups without protection i'm just horny and gross. excessive use of darlin' as a nickname. implied that reader likes men. she/her pronouns used, afab!reader (with mentions of body parts), no use of y/n. if i missed anything lmk!

a/n: heavily inspired by this post by @yesttoheaven about joel's tinder profile!! it has been rotting my brain since i saw it which literally inspired me to write my first fic in the tlou fandom ever so please be gentle with me. i imagined show!joel because i've never played the game so do with that what you will. please reblog and leave comments if u enjoy it <3333

divider by @cafekitsune

summary: after deciding to change your age range on a dating app in hope of a change of scenery, you stumble across joel miller.

No one likes using dating apps.

Swiping left, left, left mindlessly at troves of men holding fish, showing off their trucks, or with deer heads mounted to the walls behind their selfies holding guns.

This was Texas, after all.

Having just moved here, it was a little shocking, to say the least. But you were getting used to the “eligible” bachelors that were your age generally looking and acting the same. When you did end up finding someone of interest, you were usually turned off pretty quickly by whatever shitty pick-up line they had chosen. Or, your personal favourite, “wanna fuck?”

No thanks.

It was an idyllic summer evening, the hot stuffy air of Austin flowing in through your windows. You laid in bed, propped up on the pillows against your headboard and sorting through the faces that adorned your screen. No one particularly interesting, as usual, and every profile was starting to melt together to look the same.

You sighed, looking into your settings, adjusting and increasing different metrics to hopefully change the pool just enough for there to be someone new or interesting.

Age range: 25-30

Your eyebrow cocked as you looked onto the screen, pulling the slider more to the right experimentally. No one was here to see you, and even though it was slightly embarassing to be interested in older men, you’d be lying if you said it didn’t pique your interest to imagine it. Even just to try, and see, if they ever really did grow up. You imagined it was wishful thinking, but increased the range anyways.

Age range: 35-45

Feeling the need to throw your phone across the room after doing that, you placed it face down under your pillow and slid out of bed. No use in swiping through them now, and you were getting tired of looking. A pint of Ben and Jerry’s and a new episode of your favourite show was waiting for you downstairs.

‧₊˚ ☁️⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾

Joel Miller does not use dating apps.

He barely knows how to send a text on his phone, let alone navigate the world of online women. Not to say he didn’t explore the options, so to speak, but they usually were not ones that were single, his age, and in his area. Unless the ads on those sites were real, that is.

“It’s starting to get sad,” Sarah had remarked at breakfast, when they got on the topic, and Joel feigned hurt. Hand over his heart, he dropped his fork onto the plate. “It’s not sad, Jesus. I’m just busy, is all.”

“Busy not gettin’ busy,” Sarah remarked, and Joel’s eyes widened. “Hey now! None of that.”

A blush spread up his cheeks and ears as they continued to eat breakfast in slightly awkward silence, before Joel took his plate to the sink. “Okay, off to school, you. And no more conversations about my dating life. Ever.”

Sarah laughed as she finished off the last of the juice in her glass. “I’m just saying, dad. You can if you want to. Might be nice for you.”

Joel planted a soft kiss to her head before she bounded out the door, rolling his eyes and calling out a ‘love you’ before she closed the door swiftly behind her. Joel stared at his cell phone on the table. Maybe it would be nice.

‧₊˚ ☁️⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾

The following evening, you were a little too excited to see the dating app specimens you had acquired. Not sure what to expect, really, and you went in with no expectations. It’s not like they’d magically all be tall, dark, and handsome, but some variety never killed anybody.

Paul, 41

Daddy, but not yours. No libs allowed. 6’ because that matters.

You sighed deeply. Some things never change.

After swiping through much of what you were used to, a profile managed to catch your eye among the sea of disappointment.

Joel, 45

Just a Southern gentleman trying this out for the first time. Contractor of over 10 years. I love my daughter, BBQ, strong coffee, and sleeping in.

Now that was the most interesting thing you’d seen in a while.

He didn’t look a day over 40. His eyes creased at the corners when he smiled wide in his photos. He looked tan, a product of the Texas heat and his job, you thought. His features were accompanied by salt-and-pepper facial hair and messy curls that looked soft and pliable. His photos showed off his physique incredibly, tight wash-worn t-shirts pulling over his arms and shoulders, looking big, broad. He was no doubt the most handsome man you’d seen on an app, maybe ever.

When you swiped right before you could think too hard, you were surprised to see the green “Match!” Flash across your screen.

Your fingers ghosted over the keyboard on your phone, thinking of a witty thing to say, probably for too long.

Your phone buzzed as you saw a notification pop up.

Joel has sent you a message.

Hey, darlin’. How are ya?

You felt your face warm at the sweet message, when was the last time someone had called you darlin’? Ever?

Hey cowboy. I’m great, how are you?

He was certainly an eager responder, taking only a few seconds to reply. You found yourself smiling down at your phone screen.

Cowboy… I like that. I’m better now that I’m talking to you.

Oh, Joel, who told you to say that? 😂

No good?

Not bad. 6/10.

Only 6/10? I’ll work on it. I like to think I’m better in person.

I would love to find out.

You found yourself emboldened by how easy the conversation was flowing. Joel was certainly easy to talk to, easier than the other matches you had going for you, and infinitely more handsome.

Oh, would you? Alright. I’d love to take you to dinner sometime. If you don’t mind being seen with an old man such as myself in public. Or meeting a stranger from the internet.

He’s a very handsome stranger. I would love to go to dinner with you. Know any good spots? I’m new around here.

There’s a great barbecue spot in downtown Austin. If you’d prefer something fancier, let me know.

I love bbq. Just tell me where and when, cowboy.

Tomorrow, 7pm ok?

You sent him your phone number in the message. Fuck it.

Sounds great. Text me the address, I’ll be there. :)

Joel’s reply didn’t come. Instead, a text appeared at the top of your screen with an unknown number.

It’s Joel. This the right number?

Yup. You found me.

Great. Talk tomorrow sweetheart. Looking forward to it. :)

He texted you the address of the restaurant, right before you opened the contact card, saving his name as “cowboy ♡”.

‧₊˚ ☁️⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾

Cowboy. Cowboy. Cowboy. It was playing over in his head like a broken fuckin’ record.

Joel was positively freaking out about this date.

Sarah had managed to secure a sleepover at her friend’s place, so the house would be empty for the night. He had been busying himself with cleaning the entirety of the house, even taking the time to mow the grass before work and vacuum the family room. He can’t remember the last time he vacuumed anywhere.

Would she even make it back here? How does this work? Will she want to sleep over or hang out on the couch or should he be making a dessert for after?

His mind was brought out of it’s craze by Sarah jumping down the stairs. She plopped her bag down on the freshly wiped countertop.

“Careful,” he warned, putting a hand up. “I just cleaned that off.”

“I can tell. It smells like the cleaning aisle threw up in here.”

He smirked before patting her head with his hand, as she aggressively smoothed out her hair. “Dad! Don’t!”

“When do you wanna go to Ellie’s?” He asked, more gaging how long he has left to get ready than actually asking.

“Probably soon. Why? Tryna get rid of me?” she poked her dad in the side, but when she flinched away instead, a large smile spread across her face. He was tense.

“What’s your deal?” Joel hated the way she knew him so well sometimes.

“Nothing.“

“Are you going on a date?”

Silence fell over the kitchen between the two of them, as Joel’s shoulders slumped in defeat. “How did you know?”

“Oh my god, you actually took my advice,” Sarah laughed, watching her dad’s face burn red with embarrassment. “Just don’t do anything weird on communal surfaces, please.”

Joel shook his head at her suggestion, already becoming annoyed with the whole prospect. He was so nervous, about what to wear, how to act, what the expectation was… let alone, what would happen if they made it back to his place at all.

Although, when he was able to shake his nerves for a second, he was just really fucking excited.

“Wear those dark jeans, and that green shirt you wore to Tommy’s last week. Looks good on you.” Sarah smiled as she put her arms around Joel’s middle, while his worries melted away with her touch. “She’ll love you, I promise.”

‧₊˚ ☁️⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾

It had been such a long time since you’d been on a proper date, you were starting to lose your mind at the simple process of deciding what to wear.

Clothes were strewn across every surface of your apartment, shoes matching with jeans that matched with cardigans, tops that matched with belts and jackets.

It’s 87 degrees at 5 o’clock, idiot. You’re not wearing a jacket. Relax.

Exhausted of picking out outfits and making decisions, you collapsed on your couch and took a look at your options. You landed on an easy sundress, putting the rest of your clothes back in their respective drawers, and pulling out all of the products you were expecting to use to get ready.

You scrolled through your phone aimlessly as a notification bubble popped up on the screen.

We still on for tonight darlin’? Or did you change your mind?

No worries if you did. I respect that.

You let out a cackle at the message, thinking about how he must look right now. Was he nervous? Scared? Was he just looking for a controversially young fuck?

You weren’t… completely against that.

Didn’t change my mind, wouldn’t in a million years :)

Meet you there. Can’t wait to see you.

His eagerness to meet up would’ve been a red flag if it were any other run of the mill guy, but something about Joel felt special. There didn’t seem to be any funny business with him; too sincere to try anything other than just a good old fashioned date.

You too, cowboy.

‧₊˚ ☁️⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾

When Joel showed up at the restaurant, he clenched a small bouquet of pink peonies in his right hand and checked his watch obsessively. The minutes ticked away, as he kept a high alert for anyone who could be his potential date. He knew what you looked like, of course, but this being his first time doing anything of this sort is making him hyperaware of anything going awry.

When he does lay eyes on you, his whole gaze softens. A pink sundress, hair pristinely styled and a bounce in your step that reminded him of summer. You looked like an angel, the sunset behind you painting the sky tangerine, which reflected off of the shine against your supple skin. So young, beautiful, it was taking his breath away.

“Joel?”

Your voice matched your sweet demeanour, and he was taken out of his waking daydream.

“Hi,” is all he can say, letting his breath out as he relaxed. “Yes, hi, sorry. I’m Joel.”

“Hi,” you laugh back, eyes darting to the flowers in his hand. They matched your dress.

“These are for you,” he gets the hint, extending his arm out, and you can see the veins bulging in his forearm. He looked so much stronger in person, it was making your knees go weak.

“Thank you, wow,” you held them up to your nose to smell the sweet aroma. “I love peonies.”

“Me too,” he smiled, showing off a string of pearly white teeth, that contrasted with the pink of his lips and the even tan of his skin.

“Shall we?” He extended his arm to you for you to grab onto, and you got to feel the warmth of his skin for yourself. Your hand wrapped around his forearm as he opened the door of the restaurant for you, leading you inside and catching a glimpse of the backs of your thighs as you walked in front of him.

‧₊˚ ☁️⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾

When you were finally sitting, the conversation flowed easily. He was truly a Southern gentleman, like he had said. It wasn’t normal for you to open up so quickly, but Joel was so easy going and smart, he asked the right questions and knew when to listen. He knew how to listen, a warm gaze and a nod along, asking follow up questions to your answers and easily getting to know you.

You asked about his daughter, his family, his work. He was happy to tell you.

“So, what’s a man like you doing being single in this city?” You take a sip of the wine in the glass in front of you, burgundy staining your bottom lip.

He takes a bite of the food in front of him, a napkin pressing to his lips quickly after. “Been busy,” he started to say, honey brown eyes meeting yours for a second. His gaze sent an electrifying pulse down your spine.

“And, well, when Sarah’s mom left there was a ton to do,” he says it nonchalantly, as if that should be something normal to happen. “House, work, school, she keeps my hands full. Hasn’t been a lot of time.” His syrupy drawl is pulling you in, you’re enticed by the way he speaks to you. So easy, warm, soft. You wonder what his hands feel like on your body, lips pressed to your neck, torso pressed against yours.

“Sorry, that’s a lot of information for a first date,” he laughs to cover the awkwardness, and quietly curses himself for going into so much detail about his precarious family situation and basically admitting to you that he hasn’t fucked anything other than his hand in the last 5 or so years.

“No, it’s okay,” you slide your hand across the table, palm up, urging him to slot his hand into it. He takes it, easily, enveloping yours. His fingers find the pulse point on your wrist. You let your eyes drift up to his, drinking in the way his chest fills out the shirt he chose.

“What’s your story?” He asks earnestly, giving your hand a squeeze. “Can’t imagine there isn’t a long line of people outside waiting to take my place, darlin’.”

You blush furiously at the nickname, and let your eyes meet his once again. “You have no idea the… mess that is out there,” the wine is calling your name to take another sip at the mere thought, but you refrain. “Certainly not too many I am interested in.”

“So, is that why you’re on a date with an old man on a beautiful summer night in Austin?”

You could tell Joel, in a twisted way, liked that you were younger than him. It made him feel younger by admission, that you’d want to spend time with him.

“You’re not that much older,” you laugh, not even believing it yourself as the words left your lips. “And I like to try new things. Don’t you like trying new things, sometimes?”

It was his turn to let his face go red at your insinuation. If only you knew how ‘new’ this really was for him, how much he was pushed out of his comfort zone right now.

You didn’t notice.

A little more polite small talk and exchanging of stories was all you could take before the tension was becoming too much. After another glass of wine and a shared plate of sky-high chocolate cake for dessert, you were enjoying his company and could tell he was enjoying yours all the same. When you met his gaze again, hands still intertwined, you could tell there was a question on the tip of his tongue.

“Would you want to…“ - a nervous pause, with a halo of lust - “come back to mine for a nightcap? I’ve got an empty house this evening.”

You couldn’t help but smirk, knowing in your heart that Joel must’ve made arrangements for his family not to be home in anticipation. He had to have planned for you, known in his heart you’d say yes.

“I’d love that.”

‧₊˚ ☁️⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾

Joel’s home is unmistakably him. It smells like a pine candle that sits near the front door and a faint aroma of laundry detergent. There’s photos everywhere, him and his daughter, his brother’s family. Big windows were letting in the twinkling lights of the city outside, the inky sky making them look brighter against its canvas.

“You have a beautiful home,” you say, although it seems a little formal for the situation. What else do you say to a grown-up in their house?

“Thank you,” he takes a bottle of whiskey from the bar cart and pours two rock glasses, handing you one. He flicks on a lamp, ambient light filling the room and painting his skin amber orange, as he joins your side by his kitchen table.

“I did a lot of the construction myself, the decorations are my daughter.” He points lazily to the trinkets on the shelves and photos on the wall. “I don’t really have a good eye for that type of stuff.”

You take a sip from the drink and it coats your throat, burning down as you suppress a cough at the taste. You nod along as he explains the design choices he made in the home, and you play along, knowing it’s likely out of anxiety.

“What about upstairs?”

Your eyes are innocent as they meet his, although you understand the implication you’re making whole-heartedly. He puts his glass down on the kitchen table and you follow his lead, his strong hand around your wrist as he leads you up the stairs wordlessly.

“It’s not anything,” - he clears his throat - “special,” he shows you around the second floor, finishing at the door of his bedroom that has been left slightly ajar.

You step in quietly, leading him inside as you take in the bedroom. Neatly folded clothes, a made bed that looks well loved. Blue sheets and fluffy pillows, big bay windows that let the moonlight in.

“I think it’s nice,” you say simply, letting yourself turn around to meet his broad frame. He looks down at you slightly, eyes meeting yours as your hand drops from his grasp and snakes around his neck. His hands come up the sides of your dress, pulling it up slightly, but landing on your waist.

“Is this okay?” He asks tentatively in the dark of the room, his lips so close to yours already you can practically taste the whiskey on his lips for yourself. You answer him by pressing your tentative lips to his, slotting them together easily.

Joel’s grip on your waist tightens momentarily as he takes you in, pulling you as close as he possibly can. He can smell the perfume on your neck and the wine on your lips from earlier, and it’s making his need for you increase tenfold.

You pull him into you as you stumble back to let your knees hit his mattress, sitting down and letting your hands come to his belt buckle. Your hands came to undo it as he pulled his t-shirt off to throw onto the floor beside him, bending down to help you pull the dress over your shoulders to meet his t-shirt.

You made quick work of his jeans, pushing them to the ground and looking up at him with a keen glance. You could see the breath making his belly rise and fall, anticipating your touch on him any second.

When your hand wrapped around the base of his cock, his breath hitched and his head rolled back. He was already half-hard only from kissing you, so a few pumps made him easily ready for your mouth.

“You’re so big,” is all you can think to say, head spinning from the sheer size of him right in front of your face. Your mouth watered at the way his hand palmed through your hair, pulling you in closer to him for some relief.

It was intoxicating to him, the way your mouth fit around his cock. Such a beautiful sight to see, your head licking and sucking at his tip, gathering spit there to lubricate him. His knees were going weak as he watched intently, no thought able to cross his mind, other than maybe how long it had been since he’d had anyone to do this with. He was going to have to pace himself if it was all like this.

Your mouth constrained around the length of him, taking him deeper and deeper with every bob of your head. Filthy sounds were filling the room now, of your eager mouth pulling him in as best you could. His hand stayed steady at the back of your head, not pushing, just softly pressed there for support. His other hand found your shoulder, pushing down your bra strap.

“God, darlin’,” was all he could choke out, using his hand to pull you off of him. Your hand lazily stroked him as you looked up at him, spit collecting at the corners of your mouth. “I’m not gonna last long if you keep doin’ that,” his laugh eased some of the tension in the room, as you took your other hand and wiped the spit away.

He leaned down, pressing a fervent kiss to your lips before using his own hands to unclasp your bra and let your breasts free. His lips traveled to the side of your neck, before he was kneeled down between your legs, sucking your nipple into his mouth. He lapped at you, all consuming, as his hand came up to grasp the other breast that wasn’t being serviced. He moaned at the noises you were making, lewd whines into the night air that only encouraged him.

His lips made their way down your body to your clothed centre, your back against his soft sheets. You looked down at him intently, watching as he pulled your panties down your legs and immediately delved into your pussy with broad strokes of his tongue.

Your body jerked upwards at the contact, hand fisting the sheet beside you as he lapped at you, like a man starved. His expert tongue found your clit easily, sucking and licking at you for what felt like hours. You thought about his heavy cock between his legs, begging to be touched, hard as ever as he licked at you desperately.

“Joel,” you whined out, feeling your hand reach down to grab at his curls and push him deeper into you. That only made him moan, one hand lazily fisting his cock as the other came up to dip a finger into you, allowing you to see stars when you screwed your eyes shut.

His fingers were so large, pressed into your core as you fucked yourself on them and his tongue in tandem. He was groaning and grunting, and you hoped his neighbours couldn’t see into the window at the desperate filth that was going on in his bedroom.

“Fuck, Joel, please,” you begged, but he had no mercy, and your orgasm was creeping up on you. He was ready to watch you come undone, pushing a second finger into you and furiously sucking on your clit. His other hand left his own pleasure and wrapped around your breast, pressing and playing with the hard nub there, pinching to provide a little bit of sting to it. It was sending you into another dimension.

“Come for me, sweetheart,” and his voice is gravely and debauched, enough to send you into your first orgasm, chanting his name and pulling on his hair. He was happily licking at you, fingers still pressing in and out as to not mess up the rhythm, as you rode out your orgasm against his face.

When you started to come down, he finally detached himself from you before standing up between your legs and pressing his broad palms to your thighs. He stayed there for a moment, cock still hard and heavy between his legs as you gazed up at him, out of breath from his work.

“You’re really good at that,” was all you could think to say, head clouded with arousal. You moved up on the bed a little, opening your legs and pressing your knees apart to show your pussy to him again.

“Please fuck me, Joel,” you breathe out, letting your hand find your own clit to rub it teasingly for him. It was still so sensitive, but the way he was looking down at you, eyes dark and stormy with need, you could almost come again just from that.

He put a knee down on the bed and crawled on top of you, his lips finding yours once again as your hands found his face. You held him there, savouring the kiss as his tongue crashed against yours, all warmth and spit and the taste of you. His hand found your breast and continued to play with your nipples, softly, coaxing more moans into his mouth from yours.

He leaned back and slipped his cock inside of you, filling you up immediately and making you gasp. He groaned into the side of your neck, tonguing the side of your ear and kissing you feverishly as he pumped in and out of you.

Your legs wrapped around his waist, pulling him impossibly close, your moans filling the room as he rocked in and out of you. He kissed your jaw and chest, before reaching down between your bodies and pressing his thick finger to your clit again, using the wetness there to draw circles around your sensitive nub.

“So pretty,” he smiles into your neck, your hand on the back of his, playing with the now-sweaty strands of hair on the nape. “So pretty for me, taking my cock,” the dirty talking is welcome as he continues to bring you closer to a second orgasm, your breath hitching once again.

“Come inside of me,” you say it like a whisper, a secret in the stillness of the room, and Joel is unsure he even heard you correctly.

“Are you sure?” He says it not accusingly, but in a way that conveys he feels like he just won the lottery.

“Yes, please, fill me up.”

You can see the way his eyes darken more, shifting so he’s on his knees and using your body to fuck himself on his thick cock. His hand continued to play with your clit, bringing you so close to your orgasm that tears pricked at the corners of your eyes. His cheeks were getting hot as he thrusted in and out furiously, and you could almost see the stress melt off of his face as he came close to his own undoing.

The white-hot feeling washes over you once again, eyes shutting before you’re back on your elbows and watching intently. Your whole body feels like it’s on fire as his thrusts become sloppy, your name pouring out of his lips like a prayer. You’re clenching around him and letting him ride out his high alongside you, slowing after his hot cum coats your walls and leaves you full of him.

He collapses on top of you, cock softening inside as you both catch your breath together. Your chests are sticky with sweat as you breathe, taking in the smell of him, and the feel of his warmth on your body.

He pulls himself from you and flops beside you, still taking a moment to admire you. You look over at him, a lazy smile on your face as your hand reaches out to caress the skin of his chest. He takes the time to run his fingertips up your arms and back as you lay there in silence together, just soaking in the moment in a post-sex glow.

“I guess I should get going,” you say after a few beats, sitting up to grab your dress off the floor. You cringe at the thought of throwing your underwear on and leaving, this being just another random hookup for you that never lead to anything. Joel was sweet.

A confused look spreads across his features and his brows knit together, before sitting up next to you at the edge of the bed.

“I mean, I don’t know how these things usually go,” he laughs, as his hand finds your lower back. “But you don’t gotta run outta here like a scared animal or somethin’.”

You look up at him again, unsure of what to do next. In your, albeit limited, experience with dating app hookups, you were expected to leave pretty much right after.

“Oh, um,” you look around the room at the soft worn-in sheets and the TV across from Joel’s bed. You take a look at him again, your eyes meeting his to match his gaze, where you can tell he’s mentally begging that you’ll stay the night.

“I mean, if you don’t mind, I’d be happy to stay.” Joel smiled lopsidedly and let his hand rub soothing circles at your lower back.

“I’ll make it worth your while,” he laughs, stepping over to go into the bathroom and warm up a cloth for the mess spilling out from between your legs. “I wouldn’t mind wakin’ up and doing all that again tomorrow.”

You laugh and lay back onto his bed as he presses the warm cloth to your pussy, his lips once again finding yours to pull you in for a sweet kiss.

You nod, sliding between the comfortable sheets as Joel runs downstairs to grab your abandoned drinks as well as a couple of bottles of ice cold water. He slips into the sheets next to you, not bothering to throw on any pajamas (not that you were complaining), and settling in beside you. After a few gulps of water, you nestled into his chest and let your hand find his tummy, resting on it as you listened to the even pattern of his breath.

“We should do this again. Like, after tomorrow morning.” you say quietly as you’re drifting in and out of sleep. His fingertips continues to slide across your arm and give you goosebumps as you snuggled closer into him, hearing a laugh exhale out of his nose and feeling a kiss press to the top of your head.

In his sleepy, deep southern drawl, he replies. “Don’t have to ask me twice, darlin’.”

#joel miller fanfic #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller smut #joel miller x reader #tlou fanfiction #joel miller x you #joel miller x y/n #joel miller x female reader #joel miller one shot #joel miller fic #the last of us fanfiction #the last of us fanfic

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itsgwencayyye · 4 months

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Been thinking a lot about the queer rep of the qsmp and like how much i appreciate characters saying full stuff about being only into women, or liking men, or being gay in general. Like I remember distinctly during the first movie night is when it first hit me. The milk carton animatic was playing and it ends with qcellbit and qroier kissing at the wedding. And like i remember physically looking away and preparing to see one or both of them be really uncomfortable or joke about it. But they were really happy about it instead and I felt like just weird relief from it. Cause like yeah mc smp's tend to be very homoromantic, but everyones tends to be very almost prudish about wanting those relationships to be shown or go anywhere or be drawn kissing and stuff like that( At least in previous smp fandoms I've been in). Then, although it was before that moment, cellbit saying "I want to be gay and happy" although funny, it's just so nice to hear the word and have it not be a joke or not danced around cause someone's uncomfortable with it. Like the character likes men and wants to be gay and happy, simple as that. Then you have q!bagi saying that she's only interested in women, and liking melissa, but not roier, even though they're the same person. Then there's q!fit who told Ramon "I'd prefer another dad for you" and just how much knowing his backstory that being canonically a gay man adds to his characterization(i could write like a 5 page paper on that alone). And on top of it all it's the language and seriousness of all the relationships as well. Foolish and Vegetta were calling each other boyfriends, and 'my love', people go on dates and talk about what they want out of their relationship and how they're feeling about it, and like it's even normal for a lot of the couples to normalize implying or just having straight up sex (thanks for the trauma slimeriana and maxpierre/lh). Like I know I'm rambling, but, it genuinely means so much to like have the queer romance be explicitly queer and also more than just a joke. Like in ways I didn't realize at first, but it's kinda fucking awesome.

#qsmp

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markster666 · 3 months

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ALASTOR X FEM!READER (SMUT/18+) - Good To Be Back on The Air!

Pairing: Alastor x Fem!Reader

Tags: Humiliation, public, porn without much plot, shameless smut, 18+, Chains, Ownership, Possessive, Pet names, Dom and Sub, etc

Fandom: Hazbin Hotel

Word Count: 654

A/N: Love the idea of Alastor broadcasting a mf live while pleasuring them. Enjoy. Unedited, so apologies for any spelling mistakes. (Minors please click away)

Alastor has always wanted to show off his prized possession: you. He wanted to make people WISH they could even look in your general direction without possible harm from The Radio Demon. If Alastor had mind reading abilities and could hear somebody even think they had a chance with you, he'd split them in half within seconds.

You were his and he was about to make that abundantly clear to a large audience.

Alastor's voice boomed throughout the hotel as he yelled your name, ushering you to come to him. You quickly got up from your task and rushed up to meet him in his radio tower, opening the door and closing it behind you.

Alastor was reclined in his broadcasting chair, final checking his microphone and equipment for today's broadcast.

"Hello, my Dear!" he said as he swiveled around to face you, his legs crossed and his fingers tapping his knee mischeviously. "Do I have a special treat for you today."

You were about to ask him what he had in mind before the chain that binded you to him appeared around your neck. You fell to the ground from the sudden force and he started pulling the chain towards himself.

"Crawl to me." he commanded.

You nodded and crawled towards him, as he kept tightening the chain. You stopped at his feet and he stopped winding up the chain.

"Such a good girl! Now... open wide and listen to me, Doll."

You opened your mouth and he slipped his thumb inside, caressing the side of your face with the rest of his hand.

"I'm heavily inclined to give my lovely loyal listeners a real treat during today's broadcast. I want them to hear those beautiful noises you make for me. Do you think you can do that for me, Doll?"

You nodded your head, whimpering as you do so.

"Good! Now strip."

You did exactly as you were told and stripped naked.

He undid the zipper on his pants, pulling you up by your chain so that you could straddle his lap. He wouldn't let you sit on his cock yet, so you just grinded against his thigh.

"What a needy little dear you are! Give me one second." He kissed your cheek before he started his broadcast.

"Salutations ladies and gentlemen! What a wonderful night to be with you all, as I have a very special guest with us tonight! Usually I keep this one ALL to myself, but, I'm feeling rather generous! I think you'll find her pretty little noises music to your ears."

At that, he pulled your chain so that you were right over his cock before slamming into you directly to the hilt, making you scream out in pain and pleasure.

Alastor held his microphone staff next to your head to pick up the sounds better. He started thrusting up into you at a very rapid pace, growling and nipping at your throat in the process.

Your moans caused a lot of feedback into the microphone from how loud you were.

The Radio Demon bucked up into you like it was the last time he'd ever feel Heaven again in his entire life. He tugged your chain so your foreheads touched, him forcing you to keep eye contact with him.

"Cum for me princess. Cum for the audience. Show them how I OWN YOU."

At that, you screamed out his name and came all over his cock and he came at the same time. He didn't loosen his grip on the chain as you rode out your high.

He brought the microphone back up to him.

"Thanks for listening folks! Hope that brought a wonderful smile on all of your hellish faces. Ta-Ta!"

He turned off the broadcast and kissed your cheek tenderly.

"That's my good girl."

Also Vox was listening in on the broadcast and now he's crying alone into his Alastor body pillow so yeah

#hazbin hotel alastor #hazbin alastor #alastor the radio demon #alastor #alastor x reader #18+ only #18+ mdni #minors do not interact #alastor x reader smut #smut

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