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psithurista · 5 months

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approach shift - epilogue

pairing: Peter Parker x f!reader (TASM/Andrew Garfield version) length: 2.3k rating: explicit 18+ warnings: PIV (protected), sneaky little non-descriptive pegging reference, disGUSting fluff

Peter Parker is a weirdo. A hot, distracting, irritating weirdo. And you can’t afford distractions right now. So there’s only one thing to do.

a/n: I'll keep it quick: I'm so sorry this took so long, but I just wasn't quite ready to finish it off haha. It's been two years almost to the day since I started writing this (and they've been fucking crazy years) so it feels very strange saying goodbye to these adorable losers. I once again can't even start to express how happy it's made me seeing your reactions to this fic, and I'm endlessly grateful to everyone who took the time to leave a comment or reach out to say hi. I hope you like this last sweet little snippet! x

series masterlist

SIX MONTHS LATER

“We need to get up,” you say, making no move to do so.

He turns his face from where it’s smushed into the pillow to speak, his eyes still closed. “You first.”

You groan.

You have no idea what time it is, and your phone is out of reach, but the light through the curtains is blinding like near-noon and Bear’s supposed to be here at 10 to pick you up, so you’re almost definitely cutting it fine.

“Peter.” Your legs are tangled with his, his thigh between yours. He huffs morning breath sleepily into your face in response, reaching a hand out to pat your cheek.

“Shh.” He shifts, pressing his thigh harder between your legs, skin sticky on skin. You know he’s doing it on purpose; he knows exactly where he’s pressing you. You make a quiet, satisfied noise, then pull away regretfully.

“Bear’s gonna be here soon and you need to be dressed. She’ll freak if she has to see your ass again.”

“Mmm. Yeah. I’m up.”

You sit up, and the slow weight of his arm slides off your waist. The bedroom door is open to the living room where you can see the debris left over from your at-home date the night before: the bowl still on the couch with a handful of unpopped kernels still rattling in the bottom, the fairy lights web-stuck across the ceiling still glowing gently and the blown-out candles stuck in pastel wax puddles to the coffee table you’d rescued from the curb a few weeks after moving in together. It’d been unbearably funny watching Peter’s elaborate performance of pretending to struggle under the weight of it on the way back home.

He drags himself out of bed, and you hear the coffee machine gurgling while you start pulling out clothes.

It’s hot and stuffy; the air’s stopped working again sometime in the night, so you screech the window open and prop the broom handle under the frame to keep it there. It’s a precarious solution—more than once, the window’s fallen shut while you’ve been at work, forcing Peter to awkwardly perform a frantic outfit change behind the dumpster in the alley so he doesn’t run the risk of running into one of your neighbours in the elevator. But the rent’s affordable for a pair of research scientists with a dash of supplementary freelance photography cash on the side, and the occasional bags of free food from a grateful shop owner after a thwarted hold-up.

“Should we call about the air?” you wonder out loud through the open door.   “Don’t worry about it, it’ll be quicker if I just get up on the roof and fix it again myself,” Peter says, his voice stretching out into a yawn halfway through. He appears in the bathroom doorway, still naked, two mugs in his hands.

You gasp in appreciation as he passes one to you. “God, I love you,” you murmur, taking a sip.

He grins dazedly at you in the mirror, his cheeks flushed. “Is that all it takes, huh? A crappy cup of coffee?”

You turn and slide the mug onto the counter so you can wrap your arms around his waist. “No. You’re cute, too. That helps.”

He kisses you, his thumb and index finger framing your chin. “M’not cute,” he says against your lips, leaning his too-warm body along yours. “M’intimidating as hell. Ask anybody.”

You’d only gotten as far as underwear before he’d interrupted you dressing, and it already feels like there’s far too much in the way between you. “You’re gonna make me late,” you say, reaching down to dig your fingers into the taut swell of his ass. “Gotta get ready.”

“Okay, so keep getting ready,” he says, mouthing at your neck. “You’re the one groping me.”

He’s right; now you’ve started, you can’t seem to stop. You press your hands to the small of his back, drawing him closer. You can feel his cock beginning to harden where his body is pressed against yours, and his tongue comes out to touch at your pulse. He makes a tiny noise in his throat as you slip one hand down between your bodies to wrap loosely around his rapidly-growing erection.

You stroke him once, gently, and he huffs. “I don’t see how this is helping,” he says.

You hum your response, your resolve melting away as he strokes the back of his knuckles down your spine, making you shiver. “Maybe…” you say.

He ducks his head to kiss first one breast, then the other, your nipples standing hard and sensitive. “Maybe?” he prompts. His fingers brush your hip, coming around to rest just below your navel.

“Maybe, if we’re quick…” you say, biting your lip, pushing your hips upward to try to encourage his hand lower.

 “Babe, I can be so quick,” he says, half-groan, half-laughter. He thumbs your labia, spreading you open just a little, so he can touch your clit. “Too quick, even, if you want. Some would say it’s a talent.”

You grin at him, letting go of his cock. “Bed. Now.”

He swings you up into his arms so fast your head spins, practically flinging you onto the bed.

You sprawl out in front of him, your arms thrown back as he peels your underwear off. “Holy shit,” he says, running his hands down your sides, staring at the expanse of your body. His jaw is slack with longing, and the sight of his adoration never fails to make fresh heat flood your face, even after seeing him staring at you like this so many times.

He kneels down over you, sucking two fingers into his mouth as he does. You hitch your knees up to give him a better angle, and he gently presses a firm thigh between your legs. “How do you wanna…?”

“Condom,” you tell him, running your fingers through his hair, making his eyes roll closed with pleasure. “No mess.”

He holds your lower lip gently between his teeth, and slowly pushes his two slick fingers inside you. You shift your hips up, and he withdraws them both again, using the slip of your arousal to work against your clit. He kneels up a little, so he can palm your breast with his other hand as he bends down to lick the inside of your thighs.

“Oh,” you breathe. His fingers stop circling to push back inside you, just as his tongue works a hot, messy kiss over your clit. You grab handfuls of his hair to try to keep up with the pace he’s setting, but the feeling of your fingers against his scalp only makes him work faster, a weak groan vibrating down through his tongue.

He bends his head lower, so he can lick around where your wetness has started to gather on his knuckles as he keeps pumping leisurely, in and out. It’s so wet you can both hear it, and he works faster, angling his fingers higher, until you’re writhing.

“Peter…come on, please,” you beg, yanking hard at his hair.

It works to break his concentration, and he scrambles up, leaning down sideways so he can dig around in the bottom drawer of the nightstand. It’s filled with an assorted mix of toys and, stashed further back, Peter’s wrist canisters. The logic had been that anybody who broke into your apartment would be too freaked out by the toys to keep looking in the drawer, but it also meant Peter had to dig through a dizzying array of plugs and lube every time he went out.

You turn your head to the side and see the wistful way he glances at your strap-on, and you click your tongue. “We’re in a hurry, remember? Later.”

“Mmm. I’ll hold you to that,” he says, kissing you again as he rolls the condom smoothly over his cock.

He leans back, propping a pillow under your hips to give himself more leverage. As he sinks inside you, you hold your breath, letting it out slowly.

He groans above you, easing just a millimeter out and then back in, like he can’t help himself. It feels devastatingly good; he’s thick and beautifully hard right against where you need him, and thanks to his mouth, you’re wet enough that you’re ready for him to start moving immediately.

You hook your ankles together behind his back to pull him in deeper, and he sinks home, fully seated balls-deep inside. You clench your muscles, just to feel as much of him as you can, and he grinds his hips against yours.

You can feel the tension in his limbs as he draws back and starts to move. You’ll never, ever get sick of how he feels inside you, you think, your mouth open. He’s fucking you so good; his strokes long and firm and perfect.

He cups your ass with his hand to lift your hips even further, shifting the angle once again, and your breath stutters sharply in your throat as the head of his cock catches your g-spot.

“That’s it, right?” he murmurs, his voice wrecked. “Right there? That’s it, babe, c’mon, show me, I wanna see…”

You can’t even respond, your fingers gripping his biceps like his body is your only lifeline. It’s so good, and you’re getting so close, you just need…

“Fuck,” you gasp, high-pitched and panicked as you come, hard and blinding.

He doesn’t slow down. If anything, he fucks you harder, chasing down his own release as you clench and melt around him. It only takes a few more moments before his cock jerks inside you and he curses, collapsing the hot weight of his body on yours.

You pant together, sweaty and spent. His cheek is crushed to yours, and he turns his face just enough to kiss any part of you he can reach—the top of your shoulder, your forehead, the tip of your ear.

When you manage to drag your eyes open, you find his huge doe-brown eyes already looking at you. “Good?” he whispers, kissing your shoulder again.

You smile at him, feeling drunk and dizzy. “So good,” you tell him.

You’re still wrapped up in each other like idiots when he jolts hard as though startled. You’re confused for about half a second, before the buzzer from downstairs goes off.

“Oh, shit,” you hiss, scrambling out of bed.

“You get ready,” Peter says, somehow already dragging on a pair of sweatpants. The speed and dexterity with which he’s able to dress never ceases to amaze you. “I’ll stall.”

You’re stepping out of the fastest shower of your life when you hear the squeaky door to your apartment opening.

“Hey, Bear,” Peter’s voice says.

“Hey, Parker. Your shirt’s inside-out,” she says.

You lean the naked top half of your body around the bathroom door to wave at her. “Hey, sorry, I just got out of the shower. I need like, three minutes to get dressed.”

She clicks her tongue, but doesn’t look overly annoyed as she flops onto the couch. “It’s hot as shit in here,” she says cheerfully, swinging her feet up onto your coffee table.

You can hear her and Peter chatting as you hurriedly get ready; he asks her about Krista, she asks him about his aunt. Unsurprisingly, Bear and May had hit it off in a huge way at your birthday after May had excitedly demanded to know everything about the play Bear was auditioning for.

You give yourself a quick once-over to make sure you look presentable before you duck out into the living room. Peter and Bear have moved onto once again arguing about music; Peter’s on Blur’s side, Bear’s on Oasis’.

You give them both a sideways look. “I’m not getting involved in this,” you say, checking to make sure your keys are in your bag. “But I’m just saying, in a real fight, Liam Gallagher would kick Damon Albarn’s ass any day of the week.” Peter grins at you from behind the counter, where he’s attempting to clean the disaster left in the kitchen from dinner last night.

“Oh, my God,” Bear says, looking you up and down. “Why do you look so worked up? Were you guys just fucking? Like right now?”   Peter can’t turn away fast enough to conceal his snort, and you make a face at her. “It’s called caffeine. Come on, we’ll be late.”

Peter waves at her. “Say hi to Krista.”

“You should come with us, next time you get a night off work,” Bear says, helping herself to a stick of gum from the packet on the bench.

“Bye,” you say, leaning in to wrap your arms around Peter’s waist. “Be careful,” you add quietly, leaning up to kiss him.

He grins. “Always am.” He kisses you back, slow and gentle, before letting you go.

Bear shakes her head. “You guys are so gross. Later, Parker.”

Peter trails you to the door so he can close it behind you. Bear’s a few feet ahead of you, and you don’t mean to linger, but you can’t help but look back one last time as you go.

Peter’s leaning in the door, a dish rag over his shoulder. His hair’s chaotic from where you’d run your fingers through it, and his cheeks are still a little pink with warmth.

As you watch, his eyes crease at the corners. “Love you,” he mouths, too quiet for Bear to hear. He still has the cutlery in his hands he’d been drying before you walked out; two knives, two forks.

You can feel your face splitting into a smile you’re sure must be even goofier than his. You hold his gaze, and as Bear drags you away, you’re missing him already.

#peter parker x f!reader #peter parker x reader #tasm!peter parker x reader #tasm!peter parker x f!reader #tasm!peter parker imagine #peter parker imagine #peter parker smut #tasm!peter parker smut #tasm fanfiction #tasm smut #peter parker x you

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bippot · 1 year

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Summary: When he used to say that he wished he could fall in love with his wife all over again, Bob may have jinxed himself. Yet, the process of knowing her once more wasn't as smooth as he'd used to think.

Honestly, he doesn't know which is worse - his broken bones or the fact she can't seem to forget who he once was?

Tags: Angst, Amnesia, Established Relationship, Memory Loss, Airplane Crashes, Major Character Injury, Hospitals, True Love, Love at First Sight,Married Couple, Smut, Reconciliation

Music recommendation: Somethin Stupid' by Robbie Williams and Nicole Kidman

Top Gun: Maverick, Robert "Bob" Floyd Masterlist - here

Previous Chapter: Think About Love

As time passed, Bob got used to his new life. He'd expected the slow paced nature of it, but he didn't expect how much he enjoyed it. His time consisted mainly of sleeping, eating, and attempting to get his wife's attention, which was something he always managed to achieve without much effort. His work, on the other hand, was non-existent.

He no longer remembered any of the information he once knew by heart. He couldn't tell an F-22 Raptor from an F-86 Sabre, so why would they let him man the weapons? Even Maverick knew that was irresponsible. And, if he was being honest with himself, he was scared shitless about the thought of getting in a plane again even though he couldn't remember even being in one in the first place. No part of Bob's brain contained any information about the crash, and he had no reason to know this, but he knew that even if he had his memories, that fact would be the same.

All the other forgotten snippets of his life had this haze to it. They were like pictures that had blurred over. But the crash? The crash was blacked out. A blank Polaroid. A hole. So, if his memories never came back, he'd have seemingly no future in his old career unless he went back to flight school and did the last ten or so years of his life all over again, which was something he desperately didn't want to go through. Plus, there was a chance that he was going to be medically retired from service anyway.

After a few weeks, he no longer needed the wheelchair but now he had to use a stick to walk instead. The doctors had alerted them to the fact that he may have a limp and need walking aid for the rest of his life, so it was beginning to seem unlikely that the Navy would be comfortable giving him his old job back. Y/N, on the other hand, still had a few years left until she was permitted to ask for retirement and leave the Navy. And there was definitely less time until her next mission.

"I, uh, I just got off the phone with my Uncle Beau..." Y/N began to explain as she sat on the counter next to where he was in the process of preparing them smoothies. It had been a rather uneventful day until that call had happened, and since then, Y/N had tried to figure out how to bring it up to her husband. She wasn't quite sure how to broach the topic, so why not take the direct approach first? "Hey honey, can you turn that off for a second?" she asked him, gesturing at the blender.

Bob nodded and turned off the machine, then he walked towards and leaned against the opposite counter. She took a deep breath. She didn't say anything at first, just looked him straight in the eye. "Bobby..." she started hesitantly, watching his face carefully. "I don't know how else to say this, so I'm just gonna come out and say it, okay? I'm being deployed next month."

"Oh." It came out almost in a whisper after what seemed like an eternity. His mind raced, trying desperately to find a response, but no words came out. "But, uh," he tried, clearing his throat as he forced his voice to sound stronger than it felt, "How, how long for?"

"Three months." That was an obscene amount of time to be apart, especially when he'd only been without her for only a few hours for as long as he could remember. So, naturally, he panicked a little. The thought of her leaving made his stomach tighten uncomfortably, his breathing becoming more laboured as tears sprung into his eyes, but they didn't fall just yet.

"You're going to leave me?" he asked, voice slightly louder than normal, although he tried to control it. He couldn't help it. He just had to get it out somehow. The words hung in the air as if he had said it as a statement. Not a question. Just an accusation. He stared at her, waiting for her answer while hoping desperately that she hadn't heard it, yet she had.

There was no denying the pain in her eyes. It tore through every muscle in his body. His mouth fell open, but nothing came out. His chest rose up and down, but nothing. Everything else stopped working except for his heartbeat. It filled his ears, drowning out everything else around him. She was leaving. She was really leaving him. Those thoughts went through his head too fast, too fast to process. He couldn't see any other way to react, other than to simply stand there and stare at her.

The tears started falling from his eyes as he watched her slowly get off the counter and wrap her arms around him. As she hugged him, he allowed himself a small sob, burying his face into her neck. Y/N kissed the top of his head lightly. Then she pulled away, placing her hands on each side of his face, wiping the tears from his cheeks.

"I'll be back," she cooed, looking deeply into his eyes and placing her forehead against his, causing him to close his eyes momentarily. He could feel her breath against his face, and suddenly, he found it hard to breathe again. Her lips were just inches away from his own, but he didn't dare move to kiss her. The urge to was overwhelming, but at the same time, he was afraid of the repercussions.

They weren't intimate. Affectionate, maybe. A quick peck here and there. A hug. Gentle hands in the other's hair. That was it. The kind that affectionate friends would do. Even then, she almost always initiated since he was so preoccupied with not overwhelming her and pushing his luck. There had to have been a thousand occasions during their relationship when he'd been about to do something that would push those boundaries, then remember her feelings, and he'd hesitate, unable to risk that rejection.

It was rare that he acted out, but the fear of losing her was strong enough that he had been overcome with it. He needed her, and he had tried everything to hold onto her, but it didn't stop him wanting more. And now that he had a limited time, it wasn't as easy to resist the urge to kiss her, touch her, show his love through acts that he wouldn't usually dare to do. The desire was burning bright inside him, and despite everything, his body had already decided to give in for what he wanted. What he needed.

His hands grabbed her hips and pulled her against his body, his mouth finding hers as he kissed her hungrily, his lips desperate as they pressed against hers with such urgency that it made Y/N stumble backwards, causing her to grab his shoulders to steady herself. He took advantage of the lack of resistance to press her against the kitchen island and swiping his tongue against her lower lip, asking for entrance, which she granted like he imagined she used to.

Despite the passion, it was still rather snotty and messy and juvenile, but, to be fair, they couldn't help it. They were out of practice, and on Bob's side, he couldn't remember ever kissing anyone this way. It was awkward at best, but it also served as a wonderful distraction, allowing for Bob to forget all about what was to come and focus solely on this beautiful woman that was his. His love for her. That was what mattered most to him right now. He knew it was wrong to let go of the situation so quickly, but they just couldn't wait anymore. Bob needed more. This brief moment of bliss was the closest thing he'd ever got to how they used to be.

When she pulled back, her expression was unreadable as she looked up at him. He smiled as he wiped away her teary eyes and gently brushed some of her hair behind her ear with one finger before cupping her cheek with the other. He could see her eyes flicker across his face as she attempted to make sense of what had just happened.

"Sorry, I..." Y/N mumbled as she looked away, trying to think of something to say that would explain the mess of contradictory thoughts in her head. She retracted herself from him slowly and stood there awkwardly as he looked at her. "I...uh. I need a minute."

And then she was retreating into the spare room, closing the door firmly behind her as she did. Bob let himself slouch against the counter in disappointment, his hand dragging down his face as he sighed heavily. He had expected this outcome, yet he couldn't quite believe that it was actually happening. He was so used to having Y/N by his side, to have someone who understood that he didn't quite understand how to cope without her.

Had he just ruined things? After they'd been rebuilding, had he just fucked it all up? Thrown it all away? No. Of course not. Around half an hour later, Y/N reappeared like nothing had happened and sat beside him on the couch, questioning, "What we watching tonight?" as her butt hit the cushion. Bob gave her a quick glance as if she was crazy before turning back to the screen.

"This architect lady hit her head and is now stuck in a rom com, which is ironic because she says she hates them."

"Hmm... interesting." Y/N chuckled as she leaned back into the corner of the sofa, glancing over at Bob, who was shifting in his seat uncomfortably, looking anywhere but at her. She arched a questioning eyebrow before opening her mouth, only to close it and decide to comfort him physically rather than struggle to get the words out.

Lying down, she opened her arms for him. Hesitating for only a moment, he jumped forward to cuddle up against her, resting his head on her chest and listening to the beating of her heart, Bob's fingers traced random patterns on her arm. She pressed a kiss to his forehead, whispering, "I'm sorry. It was a bit too much all at the same time, y'know? I could've been nicer about it, could've explained, I'm sorry," against his skin.

"No, no, I'm sorry, darlin. I shouldn't have done that. It was a bad moment to choose to do that," Bob apologised, looking into her eyes with guilt etched into every line on his face.

A laugh bubbled out of her throat. "It was a bad moment to choose. You did manage to spook me." She placed her left hand on his cheek, running her thumb slowly across his stubbly jawline and stroking it softly until he relaxed. "But it was worth it. I've missed making out with you, I'll admit."

"Oh yeah?" Bob's face lit up, and he nudged his nose into hers. "Can I?"

Good naturedly, Y/N rolled her eyes as she closed the distance between their mouths. She felt him smile against her lips, his body relaxing and melting into hers. One of his hands rested on the small of her back while hers held his face in place, guiding him closer until he was crowding every single one of her senses, making everything else fade away. His kisses were light yet demanding, full of passion and passion alone. She let herself fall into it completely, letting herself delve deeper into whatever world his soft lips and gentle touches created for her.

Everything else fell away. Nothing else existed besides him and her. Her fingers tangled themselves tightly in his hair, and she tugged lightly on it, eliciting a low moan from him before they broke away briefly for air, leaving him panting and smiling against her cheek. He knew that was as far as they were going to get for today, but that's fine. It was enough progress that he could call it a win. As long as this continued, it could only be a matter of time until they acted like a physically affectionate couple again. But it still felt nice to know that this was finally, after what had felt like a lifetime, possible to make that leap.

Softly, her hand slipped under the hem of his shirt and rubbed up and down his spine comfortingly. Their bodies were aligned perfectly as he leaned his head onto her shoulder, nuzzling into her neck and smiling. These little moments of intimacy reminded her that despite everything, he was still her man, no matter what. She felt him sigh in contentment and knew he was thinking the same thing.

After all, he was a tactile person, she knew that, and holding out on him for so long made her feel like an asshole. It was difficult to navigate. There was this need in her to put the brakes on sometimes because, even though he was Bobby, he was still finding out what sort of things he liked and she never wanted to cross a boundary that she knew previous Bobby would've been fine with only to find out that that wasn't the case anymore.

It was like walking a tightrope. Every single step forward was a risk. And she was scared, so so afraid that the balance could tip at any moment and she would lose her hold on what remained of her sanity and plummet towards the earth below. She wasn't ready to give up her old life with him. It had been a good life. A really really good life. And now, when he was starting to find his feet in new ways, she couldn't ruin it by having a meltdown.

With the way he was looking at her - his eyes big, wide, and filled with hope - she couldn't keep the butterflies out of her stomach any longer. This was her husband, she knew that, but she'd been trying to ignore all of the love he'd been trying to give her. Seeing him here, all cuddled up to her, waiting to take his first steps towards building a future together?

Well, now she couldn't help but melt. She loved him. So much. But was he ready? What if everything changed tomorrow? What if he realised that this version of him wasn't meant to be with her? What if--

"What's your go-to karaoke song, darlin?" Bob asked and gestured towards the scene playing on the screen. She hummed a few times while thinking.

"We always used to do a duet."

"Of?"

"Somethin stupid."

"How does that one go?"

"Don't make me sing it."

"Come on! Please?" Bob pleaded, pouting as he tried to convince Y/N to go along with his request. She smiled gently at him, shaking her head. "Please please please? I'd sing it with you if I knew it."

Cheeks reddening a tinge, Y/N took a breath to try and remember the words to the song. She cleared her throat slightly before beginning to sing. Although her voice started out very timid and almost a bit shaky, the more she sang, the easier it became to get through the lyrics.

🎵I know I stand in line

Until you think you have the time

To spend an evening with me

And if we go someplace to dance

I know that there's a chance

You won't be leaving with me🎵

She blushed harder, a brighter red colour creeping up her cheeks as he listened intently to her sing. She felt a little silly, but he seemed to enjoy her singing anyway, so she didn't mind. His eyes roamed her entire being, and his expression became softer, his smile wider, his ears turning redder as well.

🎵Then afterwards we drop into a quiet little place

And have a drink or two

And then I go and spoil it all

By saying something stupid

Like I love you🎵

If it were possible, Bob's smile grew even dopier. Sure, her voice wasn't the best, but it was the sweetest thing he'd ever heard. Her hand was still rubbing circles against his back, her movements getting slower and slower, the warmth of her touch lingering on every spot. It felt like nothing he ever experienced before, and he wished time stood still just so that they could stay like this forever.

🎵I can see it in your eyes

You still despise the same old lines

You heard the night before

And though it's just a line to you

For me it's true

And never seemed so right before🎵

They used to sing this together, huh, that thought swirled around his mind. He could practically hear them singing, laughing and smiling, the words echoing in the air and making his heart warm with happiness, a contented smile curving across his features. And without having actually experienced it, he missed it.

🎵I practise every day to find some clever

Lines to say

To make the meaning come true

But then I think I'll wait until the evening

Gets late

And I'm alone with you🎵

As she neared the end of the song, Y/N finally got the courage to catch Bob's eye. She could feel his gaze on her, watchful and expectant, and her heart began pounding hard as she looked into those gorgeous blue eyes. The look of utter adoration in his eyes urged her to continue.

🎵The time is right

Your perfume fills my head

The stars get red

And oh the night's so blue

And then I go and spoil it all

By saying something stupid

Like I -🎵

Before she could end the lyrics, however, she found her lips pressed against his, silencing her tune and thoughts immediately. His lips pressed softly against hers, giving her no room to argue or pull away. With a gentle moan escaping her lips, Y/N melted into him, wrapping her arms securely around him and pulling him even closer until he was practically crushing her with the amount of love he held inside his heart for her.

His hands moved to her hair, tangling themselves in her curls as their lips locked in a deep kiss. Their tongues danced against each other, teasing, begging for access to each other's mouths. Y/N could feel Bob's excitement seep into their kiss. "I can see myself getting addicted to this," Bob breathed in between kisses. "You're so addictive."

For the rest of the movie, the pair continued snogging, both of them lost in the moment of their own private world. The movie played on with no interruption from either of the lovers. Even though it was a romantic comedy, the two couldn't bring themselves to care much at that point. All they could focus on was the other. The feelings brewed in their chests, their hearts beating frantically beneath their skin, filling them up with anticipation for what the following month might bring for them.

More progress was made the next day as Y/N had gotten tired of sleeping in the spare room. She was about to lie down and thought, 'actually no, I want to sleep in my own bed tonight'. "Hey Bobby," Y/N spoke into the walkie-talkie. "You awake?"

"Nope. I just nodded off."

That response had become a habit of them both. Although it no longer was funny - and maybe it never was - it was a little nighttime comfort they needed.

"Do you mind if I, uh, stay with you tonight? I'm kind of cold, and I've come to realise that I hate sleeping alone," Y/N asked, biting her lip nervously.

"Really?!?"

"Really."

"Get on in here!"

Giggling like a schoolgirl, Y/N hurried as fast as she could to him. She hadn't realised how excited she was, how badly she wanted to be with him until she was back in their bedroom, and he was opening his arms for her to fall into. In fact, she hadn't been sure she'd be able to last another night away from him.

"Get comfortable, beautiful," he cooed as he pulled Y/N onto his chest. The way he said it so nonchalantly, so casually that she wasn't spooked at all by the sudden contact with his bare torso. He stroked her hair tenderly before placing a soft kiss on her forehead and mumbling, "I can't wait to see your bedhead in the morning," against her hair.

"Shut it, Floyd."

"What? It's the truth! Every day you've got dressed and all prepared by the time I see you. Every single day. Every single goddamn day!" Bob exclaimed while throwing his hands up in faux exasperation. "I wanna see how pretty you are when you wake up, Floyd!"

"Yeah, yeah, lay the flattery on thick, pal." She bit playfully at his shoulder, causing him to groan and push at her head affectionately. As a quick apology, she pressed a kiss to the shallow bite mark she just made, then proceeded to nuzzle into the crook of his neck and fall asleep faster than she had in months. He chuckled to himself, holding her a little tighter against him as he closed his eyes too and fell asleep soon after. Bob was overjoyed to learn that her bed head was huge and unruly in the morning.

Two days later, Y/N went from long pj's to short pj's. Three days after that, shorts and a T-shirt. Then, one of Bob's shirts and shorts. In just over a week, Y/N was back to sleeping in the same bed as her husband wearing basically nothing. Obviously, all that skin to skin contact caused a certain kind of tension between the couple, and Y/N was slowly learning how to let it play out naturally as she enjoyed every second of it. It was steadily growing in intensity each night until she found herself looking forward to waking up in his embrace almost more than any of her dreams.

Awaking with a small whine, Y/N stretched lazily, unknowingly shifting away from Bob. His arm tightened around her waist instinctively in his sleep as he buried his nose further into the back of her head. There was no escape from his arms.They had become almost too comfortable to even try to get out of them.

And, just as it had gone since the Academy, Y/N could feel a very familiar poking directly on her butt. It wasn't an uncomfortable situation, nor was it something she wasn't accustomed to, yet after abstaining for so long, it was more of an effective seduction technique than either of them would've ever guessed. Smiling to herself, she reached behind herself and slowly brushed through Bob's hair to wake him up. He grunted at first, but upon feeling something tickling his scalp and a low hum vibrating in his chest, he opened his eyes and gazed down at her.

"Did I wake you from a nice dream?" she purred as she leant back on his chest and watched him rub his eyes in an attempt to clear his vision. His face immediately turned a few shades pinker at her words.

"Yeah, yeah, it was nice. A real nice dream," Bob admitted shyly, scratching at his neck as he averted his eyes to a random spot on the wall instead of making direct eye contact with her.

"It feels like you had a real nice dream."

"What....oh," he mumbled as the realisation dawned on him. The fabric of their underwear was the only thing stopping him from being inside her. And now that the knowledge was out there, he was getting ready to start apologising profusely, but he only managed a soft, "Oh dear."

Y/N couldn't hold back her laughter. She was completely overcome with amusement as Bob tried desperately to keep a straight face despite the obvious awkwardness the situation brought forth. Eventually, after many failed attempts at hiding a smile, he was unable to keep the corners of his mouth from lifting upwards.

"Oh, so you think this is funny, huh?" he teased, squeezing her closer against him and pressing his lips to her shoulder. Her giggles filled his ears instantly, sending warm waves of satisfaction through him. "You think my boner is funny, do ya?!"

He began to move his hips slowly, pushing his pelvis against her butt in slow circles, his hands playfully squidging her waist. He felt her tense underneath him, but she soon softened and rolled her head back onto his shoulder. This only seemed to spur him on further as his fingers started tracing patterns across the skin of her stomach, leaving light trails of ticklish sensation where his touches landed.

"Bobby, I..."

Instantly, he went to back away from her, but Y/N was quick to catch his arm and bring it back towards her body. As she did so, her fingers curled around his wrist as she kept her grip firm, ensuring he didn't slip away from her again. Y/N guided his hand to rest on the hem of her underwear and let go. If he wanted to go further, they would. If he wanted to stop, well then, that was okay too. She was more than willing to give whatever he wanted or needed. "Bobby, if you wanna touch, you can," Y/N asked, peering over her shoulder for his reaction. "Do you wanna touch me?"

"Fuck, yeah, I do. Really do," Bob replied breathlessly, a huge grin spread across his face as his fingers breached beneath the elastic of her panties, slipping their way in through the fabric and lightly grazing her hot flesh. As he touched her, she moaned softly, and he knew that was all the confirmation that he needed to hear to continue his exploration.

Each drag of his finger across Y/N's skin elicited some sort of noise from her lips, which she was sure Bob didn't miss. His fingers were experimental but gentle as they travelled across her skin. And each noise she made urged him to take his hand more firmly and press harder, to make her cry out louder.

"Hey, hey, no biting that lip, okay?" He quickly unhooked her bottom lip from her front teeth with the pad of his thumb. "I need to hear every pretty little sound that comes out of your mouth, baby. You have to stop trying to muffle it."

"Okay."

"Let it all out for me?" His voice was smooth as silk as he traced one finger around her entrance, then slid in and out slowly, giving her ample time to push him away if she needed to. She didn't need to. She didn't want to. In fact, she welcomed everything about him: his caress, the teasing touches of his fingers, the heat and the pressure of his body against hers, his husky deep tones calling for her attention. She craved it.

When he finally decided to thrust two fingers inside her, she let out a moan. It was a loud, guttural sound that vibrated the walls of their apartment and sent shivers down Bob's spine. It sounded so fucking sexy in the quiet of the morning. It sounded so sweet and needy that Bob just couldn't resist teasing her about it.

"You like my fingers, yeah? They're pretty big, aren't they? So tough...so big..." Bob whispered in Y/N's ear. He leaned in close to her, kissing along her jawline. His tongue licked up one side of her neck before sucking hard enough to leave a mark. "Is that why you're always messing with them? You're just waiting for the moment I wise up and use them to mess with your sweet pussy instead?"

Although it had begun as a way to keep herself focused during classes, yeah, that was a recurring thought process for Y/N. His hands were bigger than hers – by a long shot – firmer, and despite their rigorous worklife, she always bought him fancy fruity smelling hand cream so his skin wasn't like sandpaper. His touch demanded her attention. It made it hard for her not to lean back and just melt against him.

"Darlin, am I talking to myself here?" he demanded and slowed his movements so she'd gather some stability in order to give him an answer. "You gotta tell me if you like what I'm doing. Am I a quick learner?"

She took in a shaky breath. "You're a very quick learner." Y/N huffed out a weak laugh as Bob continued to pump himself inside of her, her hand grasping at his forearm tight. The look of excitement in his eyes was infectious; she found herself letting out small chuckles every time his fingers moved faster. "Been missing this, been missing how good we make each other feel." She craned her head back to peer up at him, a wide grin spreading across her features and shining against her face as she bumped her nose into his. "Do you feel how wet I am?"

"Sweet thing, I can hear it." He smiled as his lips grazed her cheekbone and lingered there, his arm that had been underneath her waist and was starting to become numb came slid under the thin fabric of the tank top she'd been wearing and ran the tips of his fingers along the length of her ribs. "Can I see you? Can I finally know you look like behind this tiny fucking top?"

If that's what he wanted. Y/N kicked away the duvet that was hardly covering them anymore and waited for Bob to let her have enough space to throw her top off. She tossed it aside without a care. His gaze flickered between her face and her chest, following the path of her naked curves as her breasts moved ever so slightly with every exhalation of air.

Abruptly, he scooted away on the other side of the bed and got to his knees. Y/N followed his every movement, watching his broad shoulders rise and fall with every movement he took. She could've sworn he looked nervous for a brief moment - who wouldn't be? it was almost as if he was about to lose his virginity all over again - yet it was such a contrast to how he'd just been acting.

"You okay?"

"Just trying to get a full picture." He held up his forefinger and thumb on both hands like he was getting the mental framing of her body absolutely perfect for future reference. To top it off, Bob even made fake camera clicking noises to complete his illusion. She couldn't help but laugh. He had never once taken her seriously in these sorts of situations. It was kind of endearing.

"You're such a loser, Robert," Y/N teased.

"I must be. You just called me Robert."

"Yeah, cause we're having a sexy moment and now you're making camera noises."

With deliberately slowness and sensuality, Y/N slid her underwear down her thighs, taking her time to strip them completely off and toss the piece away. Her fingers danced back up her legs until she reached her hips, and she would've put on more of a show if Bob hadn't given in already. Bob crawled over to her without a second thought, soon hovering over her and dipping down to capture her lips with his own. Their kiss was sloppy, messy, desperate and needy all at once, filled with longing and lustful frustration.

"Am I allowed...Can I- Am I allowed to go further or would you get weirded out? I can go cool down in the shower -"

All of Bob's mutterings were drowned out when Y/N kissed her way down his neck, stopping at his pulse point and licking at the salty sweat coating his skin. He sucked in a gasp, his hands coming up to rest on her lower back to steady her. The sensation made him shudder. God, he'd wanted this for weeks now but never dared to think that it might actually happen. He wanted her. He wanted her so bad.

But that didn't mean that he wasn't worried. Worried that maybe Y/N wasn't ready for what was happening between them. Maybe she didn't feel comfortable enough being physically intimate with him after all this time. Bob tried to swallow past the lump in his throat, yet Y/N knew he was worrying - she always had a sixth sense for this kind of thing - and gently cupped the back of his head to tilt it back and plant a gentle kiss onto his forehead.

"Do you want to stop? It's okay. We don't have to do anything right now if you don't want to," Y/N said, leaning forward to peck a quick kiss onto Bob's lips. "We can just cuddle if you'd prefer, hold hands, talk, read..."

"No," he cut in, his hand moving up and down Y/N's arm slowly in soothing strokes that somehow managed to be soft and firm at the same time. "I, uh, maybe you should think about if you want...if once we're, you know, done, you're going to be alright with us...you know, this... fingers are one thing, but my dick, I don't know, that's, like, overwhelming."

"Your dick is overwhelming, is that what you’re saying?" she deadpanned, her facade barely even there.

Groaning in embarrassment, he pushed his face into her neck, hiding himself from view. "Not in that way. You know what I mean." She began carding her fingers through his hair. When he lifted his head again, she pressed a lingering kiss to the tip of his nose and watched a faint smile appear on his face. "You know exactly what I meant."

"Bobby, I kinda guessed this would happen when I woke you up this morning. I'm ready to be overwhelmed by your dick." A wicked smirk curled up the corners of her mouth as she stared up at him. He gave her a crooked smile of his own and pulled her closer to press his lips firmly against hers, his hips grinding down in haphazard circles. "Take your boxers off."

"Yes ma'am."

In a flash, Bob had flung his underwear somewhere in their bedroom and was kneeling on the bed between her legs, his hand grasping onto her thighs and pulling her toward him. And despite the fact it was torturous to do so, Bob still took his cock into his palm and teased his head along her folds. "Put your cock in me."

"Say, please."

Y/N rolled her eyes, unable to believe the audacity of this man in front of her. Any idea that he was nervous had been thrown out the window. Honestly, it was nice that he hadn't reverted to the shy and awkward guy that she'd first got together with. Nevertheless, she did as he asked. "Please, baby. Please put your cock in me."

The look in his eye when he glanced down at her was so hot it left her breathless. There was this hunger inside of him, an unquenchable fire that she could no longer deny. And who was he to deny such a request? He could do nothing else but comply with Y/N's wishes. As soon as she spoke those words, all thoughts and reservations vanished from his mind, so, with an eager nod, Bob positioned his cock at her entrance, and began to slide himself into her wet heat.

Immediately, Y/N grabbed hold of his upper arms, bringing him close so that she could lock her legs around his waist, holding him deep within her. Bob bit his lip so hard he feared that it may bleed, but it was all worth it to watch her like this, the look on her face so pure and honest it took his breath away. "Oh god..."

"Give me a second," she urged. "I'm out of practice." She closed her eyes shut and breathed deeply before allowing herself to relax into Bob as much as her body was willing to let her. It felt good to be able to finally let the burden lift from her shoulders and give him her all.

With his hands comfortingly sliding up and down her waist, it didn't take long for her to adjust to the sensations of being stretched and filled and stretched some more. The friction of his palms, the warmth of his chest against her own, and the light tickle of stubble on his chin as he kept kissing her neck, shoulder and collarbone brought a shiver up her spine.

"Attaboy." Her words were accompanied by a small smack to his ass that earned a chuckle from him. Then, her tone turned husky as Y/N teased, "I've adjusted to your overwhelmingly big dick, Lieutenant. Feel free to move whenever you're ready."

Honestly, Bob was out of practice, too. Although, he couldn't remember a time when he was in practice. Whatever the case, he was glad they'd taken a quick breather since she felt so, so good and he didn't want to cum immediately. That would've been so anticlimactic in every sense of the word. "Whenever I'm ready? I've been waiting for you," he jeered back, his fingers tightening on her hips as he rolled his hips to hit a spot deeper inside of her. A whimper escaped her lips and she arched upwards into him, one of her hands gripping onto his biceps. "God, that was a pretty noise..."

He trailed off when she started a teasing, sloppy line of kisses down his neck, biting into his skin softly and leaving behind little marks of pleasure everywhere he went. He moaned low with each slow thrust of his hips. While every single stroke of her hand across his back only made him harder. And fuck, he loved it. It was like a drug, something that made every single cell in his body sing and dance and hum with delight; that feeling of satisfaction, the rush of adrenaline that coursed through him.

Although adrenaline has its limits. As their loving embrace upped in pace as they neared the finish line, all of a sudden Bob stopped with a groan and let all his weight fall on top of Y/N. He didn't cum, she would've felt that. Yet, he cleared up any confusion with a mumble of, "Fuuuck, thigh cramp.

Whispering comforting words in his ear, Y/N massaged his thigh to the best of her ability whilst Bob buried his nose in the crook of her neck. "It's okay," she comforted. "Just relax, pretty boy." They laid like that for a while. They laid there until he could feel his muscle stop aching, and Y/N slowly helped him sit up against the headboard.

Disgruntled, he let out a quiet sigh while running a hand down his face. "Sorry I ruined, uh, this. The mood, whatever..."

"I don't know about you, but I'm still in the mood." She perched on his lap, each knee on either side of his hips. He smiled as she leaned in to kiss his cheek. "I'm happy to do the work if you wanna continue." His answer was to lean forward and attach his lips to her chest, kissing, sucking and nipping at any place or area he pleased until he finally pulled away, looked up at her, and nodded. So, with his permission, she guided the head of his cock to her entrance once again and sank down on it. "Enjoy the show, yeah? You don't need to do anything else."

"Yeah," he breathed as she began to bounce up and down on his cock, taking him all in while she held his face in her hands and kissed him, his tongue stroking hers lazily, as his hands roamed across her back, caressing every curve and dip, every inch of skin he found. His fingers worked feverishly, kneading at her flesh in just the right places to elicit soft moans from the depths of her throat.

It felt like an eternity. An eternity he never wanted to end. The feel of her slick walls enveloping him, the way her muscles contracted around his length, and the sounds of her cries of joy, as she rode him with passion, made the room spin. All the while, he felt her hand moving rhythmically over his face, cupping his cheek with gentle strokes. He was in heaven. He was in paradise. He was so lost in her beauty that he barely realised the knot in his stomach was about to snap until it was too late.

"Keep going, keep, oh fuck, you haven't...keep going until you cum," he begged, his voice hoarse with lust. His eyes were half opened, his cheeks flushed pink with exertion, and the muscles in his abdomen tensed every which way as he fought to deal with how overstimulated he was becoming. To help her along, he quickly found her clit to circle his thumb over, causing her to throw her head back in pleasure and her chest further into his face. "Come on, darlin'. I can tell that you're really close, baby," he encouraged, watching her face scrunch up in pleasure as her orgasm came crashing down upon her.

Bob came to the conclusion that a month of this wasn't enough, but since that was their timer for now, he was going to savour every single moment. And he was going to make sure there were a lot of fucking moments.

Next Chapter: Service With A Smile

#bob floyd x reader #robert bob floyd #bob fucks #bob floyd #top gun fanfiction #top gun maverick

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thepartyresponsible · 1 year

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Hey there! I've read all the way through your fics masterlist (for the second time this year) and am craving more (who wouldn't?!). I was just wondering, since I'd hate to impose asking for something new, if you'd consider posting a snippet of one of your wips (maybe something with Clint)? Any scrap of material you'd be willing to release into the world again would be like a holy grail, a balm to soothe savage readers. Love your writing so much!!

hello! i'm not working on much right now, but i've been reading something is killing the children, and, naturally, trying to figure out how to write a dc/marvel crossover in that universe.

so here's a little snippet of a something is killing the children dc/marvel au, where jason todd and clint barton are young, feral, and murderous.

warnings for graphic violence, dead parents, and gore.

- - -

The White Masks clean up after a feeding frenzy at a circus, and, afterwards, they bring home a pair of blonde brothers still spotted with blood. Circus kids, just like Dick, but skinnier. The youngest is wearing a costume, bright purple and garish, an embarrassment in the predawn light. He’s clutching a bow like a teddy bear, has that pale, rolling-eyed look of fresh trauma.

The story, when it filters to them, is that a brood of Oscuratypes feasted their way through a late-night performance. The monsters started in the stands, ate their way to the stage. It was a spectacle, Jason hears. A real, once-in-a-lifetime sort of show.

Whole families dismembered and consumed alive. Pieces of acrobats raining down from the trapeze. Blood and guts and sequins and screams.

The baby brother, that five foot nothing bit of dandelion fluff on legs, killed three of the babies with blunted arrows. Three of the damn things.

“I mean,” Jason says, at dinner, “it’s bullshit. Kid shows up with three kills. That’s not fair.”

“Yeah.” Dick looks disappointed in him, which is how he usually looks these days. “That’s absolutely the point here, Jason. That’s what we’re all focusing on. He has more kills than you.”

“He hasn’t been initiated,” Jason continues. “He doesn’t even have a totem. He’s got three kills and--”

“And,” Bruce intones, “twenty-six people are dead.”

It should be more. One adult and five babies, a crowd of hundreds of people. Should be dozens upon dozens. Should be a fucking mess.

A twelve-year-old kid with blunt arrows and a spangly purple leotard. “And,” Jason says, as he shoves to his feet, “he’s too fucking old for this.”

- -

Jason was eleven when he watched a monster rip his mother into meat. He remembers the teeth.

He remembers her high-pitched, dying-rabbit shrieks, remembers that awful wet slurping. He remembers everything, every sound, the arc of blood, angle dropping rapidly, pressure failing. The way she looked at him, the way she stopped.

He remembers the weight of the knife from the kitchen, shitty and dull like everything they owned. The useless dredge of terror in his chest, all that stupid, howling grief.

Twelve’s too fucking old. A younger brain’s more malleable, sieves that shit right out of you, kicks it to the backburner of your subconscious mind. Jason knows plenty of White Masks who showed up when they were six or seven, and he almost wouldn’t clock them as Knights if he never saw them work.

But he can always tell the older ones. The cracks never quite fuse up right.

Black Masks are different, but they always are.

The point is, the kid had a chance. It’s just too damn bad his monsters showed up so late.

- -

“They’re gonna kill you,” Jason tells him. Out after curfew, unmasked with an uninitiated stray. Rules are for breaking, like laws and promises and necks.

If Bruce didn’t want him here, he should’ve nailed his bedroom window shut.

If the house didn’t want him talking to the stray, they should’ve nailed his window shut too.

“Loose ends,” Jason says.

The blonde shrugs. His name is Clint. His brother disappeared less than six hours after they brought him here, stole out sometime during lunch, and everybody’s shocked as hell except the brother he left behind. “Seems like,” he says, slow and kinda rambling, picking through his words, “everything’s been trying. But nothing’s done it yet.”

That white mask looks terrible on him, covers him from cheekbones to jaw, washes him out. He’d look better in black, but God knows Bruce wasn’t going to risk going to another circus. Look what happened last time.

Bruce Wayne, the so-called last of the Dark Knights, all his good, solitary intentions shattered apart at the feet of the bloodily orphaned Dick Grayson. And then Jason, and then Steph, and then Tim. Maybe Bruce will be the last in the end, but he has some graves to dig first.

“Take that stupid thing off,” Jason says, reaching for the mask.

Clint dodges away from his hand. Not like a flinch, like a habit. “Supposed to keep it on,” he says. “They told me. Coulson said. Whenever we’re out of our rooms, mask on.”

“Fucking Coulson,” Jason sneers. “What the fuck would he know? He’s new to being in charge. Yesterday, he was just one of us.”

“Hey,” Clint says, finally looking him in the eyes. “He’s nice.”

He says it soft, but those blunted arrows were soft too. He killed three monsters, saved dozens, and there was Jason, at damn near the same age, and he saved nobody, killed nothing.

Jason’s fourteen now. Sometimes he can feel the hunt like a shiver behind his eyes. He remembers, always, forever. The way his mother looked at him, the pathetic stretch of his open hand, the time he wasted screaming when he should’ve been going for a knife.

He keeps that monster caged in a stuffed bat, identical to Dick’s except for the red stitching. The first gift Bruce Wayne ever gave him.

Well, the second, if you count his life.

“That monster you couldn’t kill,” Jason says, “that big one. The mother. They’re gonna tell you they want you tame it. But it’s a lie. You’re too old. You’re an outsider. That’s not how the White Knights work. They’re gonna let it eat you.”

The Dark Knights are different, always have been. But White Knights fall in line. White Knights turn inward.

Clint looks at him, white mask blank and toothless against his face, erasing him until he’s just a pair of bloodshot blue eyes and hair so blonde that patches of it are still dyed faintly red. Three dead monsters, and a skinny wide-eyed kid. Just bait, Jason thought. Just a corpse still walking.

Looking at him now, there’s no bait, there’s no corpse. There’s a killer, staring back. The hunt that hums in Jason’s chest is an itch in his teeth. He feels like it’s humming in Clint, too. Not quite an echo, but a harmony, maybe.

Three dead monsters. It could be so many more.

“I want you to live,” Jason says. “We could kill so many of those bastards.”

Clint tilts his head. “I thought,” he says, still drawling through his vowels like he’s got time to waste, “that we were trying to save people.”

“Yeah,” Jason says, “sure. Whatever.”

That’s probably how the White Knights spin it. But Jason’s mask is black, and he doesn’t care how many people they save. The only person who mattered is already dead.

“C’mon,” Jason says, and this time, when he grabs Clint by the arm, he doesn’t dodge away. “I’m gonna teach you how to live.”

#writing #fic #asks

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unhinged-summer-fun · 2 years

Text

farmer joel snippet 03.

Written for Danktober 2022 Day 12: Humiliation, Forget, National Farmers Day.

A/N & Warnings: This is set almost immediately after the events of farmer joel snippet 01., and thus deals with that aftermath. There's a lot of context and conversation missing from this, and if you're gearing up to throw something, don't jump no guns now, family. As for warnings, it gets a little bit steamy toward the end, remember that this fic is (and really, all my fics are) 21+ only.

P.S. Don't come for me hehe

[full danktober list here]

[farmer joel series masterlist here]

"Shh, shh babygirl, c'mere…"

"I don't, I don't know how I forgot, I forgot, I didn't, I'm so sorry—"

"Babygirl, it's okay, you're safe now and I got you. I told you I'd look out for you, keep an eye on you. This is on me, I-I should have been more clear with what you needed to—"

"No, Joel, you're perfect you're doing everything right—"

"Hush, babygirl." Joel took your face in his hands and held you still from your impassioned head-shaking enough to snap you from your fit. "You're safe. I know why you forgot. And it's not your fault." His thumbs stroked away the fear-shed tears cascading down your face. "It really ain't."

You sighed, grabbing onto his wrists and leaning into his touch. "But it feels like it," you moaned miserably. "I can't believe I forgot what was out there, what wanted me, what wants me dead."

"I forget about it too, sometimes. Been living in the glade a long time. Enough of a long time that I forget without meaning to. First few months up here, figured it was all just some wolves out there. Scared the bejeesus outta me first time I saw it. Didn't leave the house after dark for months. It was like the damn quarantine had started again…" His hands stroked over your hair, thumbs brushing away more tears as they formed and fell down your cheeks. His voice was calm, but you could see the fear in his eyes that lingered from this near-disaster. He hadn't been scared of the thing in the woods for years, he'd said, but seeing it come for you was a different story.

"I'm sorry," you croaked again, looking down as guilt poured from your body. One of your hands covered his watch, the multitextured, fractured surfaces only serving as a reminder to the most personal losses he still felt. Had your carelessness—or Joel's timing—been one second off and you would have become another damn notch in the watch. You could have been another splinter of glass in his heart that he carried with him every braeth.

He shook his head again, shushing you when he couldn't quiet your blubbering any longer. He kept his hand on the back of your head when he pulled you in for an embrace, hiding you in the solid bulk of his shoulder. "I've got you, babygirl. I've got you."

You didn't see the cold set in his eyes when he glared past the window at the treeline, meeting the glinting eyes of the hulking shadow hidden just beyond the shade.

"Ain't nothin' gonna happen to you," he whispered, too low for you to hear, but nonetheless a vow.

Dinner and evening chores were a quiet and efficient affair. As soon as the sky began to darken, he shuttered the windows and closed the curtains. One by one, he checked the locks until they were all clicked shut. At the end of this task, he found his mind drifting aimlessly, unsure of exactly what to do with the problem in the woods. He didn't realize he was looking at the coat closet door until he pulled a sneer, turning his back and walking upstairs.

That damn rifle had sat in that closet for two years. He wasn't about to unearth it for just any threat.

No use getting frantic, now, he thought to himself. How much do you even know about that thing besides it can't come any closer than the treeline?

The thought disquieted him, making it a little harder to swallow around the taste of fear that sprung up on his tongue. He knew that sour taste, hell, he'd nearly caught the scent of it from the tears you'd shed that afternoon.

How much do you even know?

With the Infected and the effort it took to stay surviving from them for over a decade, Joel had come to be pretty well-versed about the ins and outs of those former humans. He knew the signs of a spore infestation, knew the statistics for how long one could survive exposure, how long before even holding one's breath. He could tell when a Runner was mutating into a Clicker. He knew what communication versus pain versus hunger meant in the wordless language of those horrific chitters, how they didn't always mean they were looking for oneself. He knew the tells of when bitten humans were trying to hide it, and he knew just what it took to make the damn thing that cured them—

No use getting melancholy, either.

He finished his walk up to the bedroom door, where he found you standing at the window, just behind where the curtains fell open to the dusk light. There was a dull clicking noise, but this was the newer knowledge of what he found was the sound of you biting down your nails. He sighed. He'd put you up here to get you to sleep after what happened at the glade's edge, but it looked like it'd been silly to ask you to relax so soon.

"Hey, babygirl."

You turned to look at him, eyes big and round and lips pulled into a frown. If Joel hadn't seen what he'd seen, hadn't known what he knew, he would have thought you were pouting in an attempt to endear yourself to him. But he knew different.

He took a seat on the bed, toeing off his boots. He didn't waste breath asking if you were alright, when he so clearly knew the answer. He didn't want to make you lie to him. He was slow and methodical in his movements, like he was with damn near everything he did around the farm. When both boots were off, he held them both by the pull straps and set them down near the end of the bed, beneath the frame lifting the mattress from the ground.

You were watching him, angry pink fingertips still and uncurled by your hips once more. He wasn't sure you even knew he'd captured your attention like this, and he tested that theory by running his large palms up and down the smooth expanse of his jeans. You shuddered, redness flushing your features as he drew attention to his lower half.

No time for paranoia, no time for sadness. Perhaps it's time for distraction.

"Come on over here, baby," he said in a low tone. You shivered and blinked a few times from your trance, so lost in the image of him that you'd forgotten he was really there. It made his chest hurt to think that you were still affected by the subspace he'd put you in that morning, how the incident at the treeline had sharply rescinded any peace you'd gotten from waking with him inside you.

You moved closer, and he held his hands out to you, encouraging you up on the thighs you were ogling just a second before. The warm weight of you settled in his lap, sharply warmer still at the apex of your thighs. But he'd get there soon, no doubt. With how your nipples were pebbling up through the bodice of your dress, and the way the flush on your cheeks had flooded your ears, neck, and chest, Joel couldn't help his mind wandering every which way.

There were no questions to answer here besides what are we doing tonight?

And Joel had a good idea what you wanted—no, needed.

"Legs are so tense, baby," he said, looking down (catching an eyeful of your chest) and squeezing your thighs with his hands, the way he'd done to himself just a moment before. Up and down the length of them, soft and warm and plush. That sharp heat touched him now, dripping from your pussy down to his blue jeans. "You need something from me?" he asked, teasingly.

"N-no…" you simpered, eyes fluttering as his fingertips pressed up, up, under the hem of the skirt. It made your heart skip a few beats, the promise of more but not enough all at once.

"No?" he said with a teasing quirk to his lips. "So if I flip up this pretty dress right now, I won't find you dripping and needy for me right here in my lap?"

You flushed scarlet, lips pouting outward as he teased. "It could. Um."

"It could what, babygirl? Tell daddy what it could be."

Your eyes fluttered shut in a spray of lashes against your delicate cheeks. "Could be your cum. From this morning."

That pulled a pleased growl right out of Joel's chest, his eyes darkening in the low lamplight of the bedroom. You shivered beneath his attention and his touch. "Much too late in the day for you to still have any'a me inside you, ain't it?"

The very thought of having—keeping!—any of himself inside you almost made Joel's mind white out into a lusty haze, but he wanted to watch you squirm on his lap. What was it he'd told you? I like to see 'em flinch.

That feeling was multiplied a thousand-fold with you. Just a hitch of your breath, hell, even getting your damn attention on him was enough to get him hard and horny like he was thirty years younger.

"Answer me," he said quickly, pinching your thigh to get you back down on earth from your daydreams. Another time, he'd let you fly high, but he needed you here with him, where he could control this outcome for you. No monsters, no shadows, no darkness but his own. Forget the shit outside your door and just live by the laws of your own space.

Joel had been thinking of the ecstasy he felt, the god-like power his mama would have smacked him silly for even indulging in. When he could pull orgasm after orgasm from his partners, when he could blind them and guide them through their dark with only his eyes open, when he could kiss away those hurts and tears as if they never existed, that was what Joel missed most.

You were offering him an opportunity to codify this house in a way he never thought he would again. You were staunchly chewing on your lip, refusing to answer him. It wasn't out of shame or humiliation, though he knew you liked when he would prod and poke at your affected state when you were horny enough.

Ain't time for shame, either.

"Do you trust me?" he whispered, cupping your jaw in one hand and forcing you to look up at him. He squeezed a little, puckering and separating your lips just enough to make his point. "Need a yes or no. Think carefully, doll." If this was something you weren't sure you wanted to try, if you couldn't handle this side of him—

"Yes."

Your answer was instantaneous. So you could talk, he noted to himself.

"I'll give you one more chance, babygirl. If I flip your skirt up right now and touch you, are you gonna be a dripping little mess like I think you are?"

"Mmnh…" you fought the word back into your mouth, near-shaking with control, even as you handed it over to him.

Silence won.

And Joel—

TO BE CONTINUED.

#LOLOLOLOL #farmer joel #danktober 2022 #joel miller x reader #f!reader #unhingery

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anniesocsandgeneralstore · 3 years

Text

Here is a masterlist for everything in this little world I've created! Where everyone lived and they all live together now. Because I'm in denial and also found family is a good trope. This includes an OFC of my own creation named Delphia Holman that is in a relationship with Rick Flag. In this universe, she and Flag have started up basically a halfway house for previous members of the Suicide Squad.

Currently requests are CLOSED (as of 10/26/21) for this universe, if you wanna send some into my ask box! I don't write smut so please none of that! But I'll take anything involving the squad family, an au, stuff that happened before Rick and Dee got together, anything!

On here, I am gonna try to put these in chronological order and include the next installments that are in progress, marked with an * (to keep myself accountable) so hopefully, it'll all make sense one day.

If you're wanting to start reading these in order I suggest reading If I Go, I'm Goin Crazy pt. 1 (first piece I wrote in this series) up until Delphia bumps into Rick in the hallway in order to get enough context for the rest of it!

Helpful Things:

A Quick Guide to the Squad Fam and Their Jobs

If I Go Universe:

April 2014 - The Night We Met

January 2015 - Greatest What If

June 2015 - Violence Be Gentle

June 2015 - Sorrow Be Kind

September 2016 - If I Go, I'm Goin' Crazy pt. 1

September 2016 - Is This Our First Date?

October 2016 - Miscommunication

December 2016 - 165th's Reunion Special

March 2017 - Birthday Breakfast

May 2017 - Move In With Me

December 2017 - Merry Christmas, Rick Flag

October 2018 - Greatest What If pt. 2

November 2018 - Sunburned Holiday

December 2019 - Frosty's Ugly Cousin

July 2021 - If I Go, I'm Goin' Crazy pt. 2

August 2021 - Finding the House

September 2021 - Take a Sick Day

October 2021 - Do The Monster Mash

November 2021 - Tapper's Arcade Bar

December 2021 - Snowball Fight!

December 2021 - Arose Such a Clatter

December 2021 - Merry Christmas, Squad

January 2022 - Girl's Day

February 2022 - Sebastian Knows

March 2022 - Let's Empty the Animal Shelter

April 2022 - If I Go, I'm Goin' On Fire pt. 1

April 2022 - If I Go, I'm Goin' On Fire pt. 2

April 2022 - If I Go, I'm Goin' On Fire pt. 3

May 2022 - Nightmares

June 2022 - Wedding Day

July 2022 - The Birthday Boy

January to September 2022 - Snippets of a Pregnancy

October 2022 - Losing Each Other In a Corn Maze

October 2022 - Dreams Come True

December 2022 - We're All Getting Coal

August 2023 - Baby's Day Out

2016 | 2019 | 2023 - Tattoos All In Black

December 2028 - Mommy Kissin' Santa Claus

Headcanons:

Splashin Safari

TaskForceX!Delphia AU:

Headcanons

i am not a woman, i'm a god

i am not a woman, i'm a god pt. 2

Breaking the News

Tattoo/Flower Shop AU:

Roses Are Red

Santa's Mailbox

Deadknight AU:

Make You See Red

Milk and Cookies

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donaidk · 3 years

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False Confidence - Chapter Ten

I had to cut the real chapter in two because it was way too long, than managed to make it just as long as it was before again. So I'm sorry for the long read 😂 There's also gonna be an 11th chapter, which is the last planned one. There might be bonus chapters or little snippets of their future, but I'm not sure yet 😊 Hope you guys will enjoy this one and have a great evening 🧡

Inspiration song

Masterlist | Taglist/Queue | Request

Chapter Nine | You’re here | Chapter Eleven

The heartbreak of Bahrain was soon followed by Lewis testing positive for Covid and everyone running around like headless chickens, trying to sort everything out. Seeing George in Mercedes clothing a few days later was still strange, even though all of us knew it was coming the moment Lewis had to step aside. It felt natural but strange at the same time, whenever we crossed paths in the paddock and my eyes were searching for the Williams shirt whenever he was standing next to Nicky and Jack.

That strange feeling followed us right into the weekend, sticking to every step we took. It didn’t help that I still felt uncomfortable around the car after that incident and seeing how wrong it could have gone. I also decided to mention it publicly, standing up for anyone who still couldn’t just forget everything but felt like they couldn’t talk about it. Showing weakness wasn’t a huge part of this sport’s daily routine. A few people immediately questioned my mental strength but my performance the next day showed them otherwise luckily. While the practice sessions went quite well as I somehow found even more speed than usual, it never came out in Qualifying. I got stuck in Q2 and just couldn’t get to the level that we were on during Friday and the morning. P11 was still a good position for points, but with P4s throughout practice sessions, we thought we would get to fight for another podium. Dan had a bigger chance for it, but we all knew it would still be a struggle for him to get up there and also stay there for the remaining laps.

The paddock somehow felt strangely empty compared to other weekends when I entered on Sunday. We all knew who everyone would be looking at for the sessions, but it was astonishing to see how all the cameras were turned towards George every time he showed up. I couldn’t blame them though, we were just as amazed and excited by this change as the fans and the media were. Maybe even more as we knew him a bit more personally and saw how much he deserves to try himself in a Mercedes. I also didn’t mind that all the hype was around him for once, as he deserved it and also gave us a bit of a breather from them always following everyone around the pitlane and paddock. It also carried onto the track with most of the discussion either being about him or involving him, which was also understandable.

Luckily from the moment we got into the cars that energy didn’t follow us and everyone was left with their own little beast and thoughts. It didn’t matter who was in which car, as everyone was your usual opponent and media attention given to one person will not give any kind of advantage to anyone. It was prior to the start of the formation lap when I turned the wheel a bit while looking down at it when I spotted a little sticker behind it. The text on it made me smile but I wondered if it got there thanks to the team or someone else. It had my tiny sunflower sticker, making me suspicious about Dan, although I knew he wouldn’t have had time to do it between the time I looked at the car the last time and the time I got inside.

“ Who’s the sticker from? ” I asked as soon as I took a turn and had a bit of free time on the straight to speak to Aaron. He usually let me get my focus fully back during these laps, but I felt like this wouldn’t change or mess up anything.

“ Lando. Almost got his ass whooped when he came into the garage. ” I got an answer back immediately and I could hear the little chuckle in Aaron’s voice. That must have been a sight, when Lando tried to sneak to my car and then got caught. “ Took you some time to see it finally. ” He added, with a real laugh following his words but getting caught off.

I could remember the first day when I dared to mention to the media how getting back into the car and racing felt a bit strange after the last race and then I went to Lando when they started picking my words apart. Most people thought I wasn’t ready to take part in F1 if something like that brought my confidence down, but somehow it couldn’t really get to me. I wasn’t happy about it and Lando listening to me and giving me advice helped a lot, getting me back to my balance in a few hours. He was the one who told me I shouldn’t follow other people's opinion about me or the team or the car, because I’m not owned by any of them. Which was now on a sticker right in front of my hand, reminding me that whatever others think should not take up space in my head and does not have to be my real end goal.

“ I usually drive with my eyes on the road and not the steering wheel. ” I rolled my eyes a little, focusing on getting the right grid spot and stopping the wheels on the yellow line, before I had a few seconds to lean back and take a deep breath.

Aaron stayed silent from then on, letting me focus on the lights and switching both of us into the usual race mood and mindset. Everything was fun and jokes until it was just seconds away from the lights coming up and then turning off. In the next second my hand was back on the wheel and with one last glance at the sticker my eyes snapped back onto the five lights that lit up after each other and then turned off, signaling all of us that the race is on as everyone took off. Seeing Dan shoot off of his spot on the grid made me smile for a second, before I could see the car next to me getting a bit closer than I felt comfortable with and had to quickly rethink my starting plan to get into a safe spot and keep my position. Instead, making my mind up in just a few seconds I pushed my foot down and ended up in 8th, safe and sound for the next 20 odd laps.

I could see Dan up in the front running at a few turns but when his strategy had him enter the pits I took his position right until it was my turn to take a pit stop finally. Doing a one stop strategy meant that even though I lost a bit of time and a few positions, it was easy to get them back when the others took their second stop, getting out of my way. Only Nicky and Lance were on the same strategy, the latter right in front of me, until his one took longer and I got in front of him just by a few thousands of a second. None of us anticipated the stint going so well and then just as I felt both surprised and hopeful by a chance at a podium place, George fell out from in front of me, giving me P2 in the process. As much as I fought my way up the grid to be in the top 5, it felt unfair to get to second by someone else getting unlucky once and then a second time not long after.

As much as I wanted to focus on keeping my P2 from Lance behind me it was hard to forget about George, who had so much to lose today. Aaron kept my head cool, distracting me from anything that wasn’t in connection with my own driving. It felt like I was flying as I almost got to lead the race behind Sergio so comfortably after a season that was never easy to fight through. Crossing the line in that same position still felt ecstatic even though there was a sour aftertaste in my mouth every time the thought of stepping onto the podium without George went through my mind.

“ Welcome to your first F1 podium procedure, Winola. ” Aaron’s voice over the radio caught my attention and I couldn’t hold back the smile that got onto my face. As much as I was disappointed for George, I knew the team deserved this podium just as much for their hard and relentless work over the weekends. “ I’m sure you will have no problem finding that P2 sign in the pit lane. ” He added, making me thank both him and the whole team as we took one last lap around the circuit to cool down the cars and get back to the pit entrance.

A few seconds later Dan passed me, holding a hand and then his thumb up for me which I copied, keeping up with his pace for a bit before he got in front of me to let others pass. A few cars later I could see Lando’s orange McLaren approaching, aiming for the space next to me. Still following the cool down plans I first sped up a bit putting a gap between the two of us, before slowing down, both in limits of course, as he tried keeping up with the new pace, making him overshoot the space next to me and ending up almost a full car length in front of me. I already had a smile on my face which just got wider during the cat-mouse game I started and then turned into a chuckle as I could see him lift his fist into the air, holding himself back from showing me his middle finger. It would have been deserved too. In the end I gave up, getting myself next to him waving as Lando turned his head towards me and shook it, probably with a smile hiding behind his visor.

While he went with all the other cars I followed Lance’s pink car to the boards, and parked right behind the one that had ‘P2’ printed right across it. After turning everything off, I just sat there for a few seconds with my hands coming up onto the visor of my helmet as I slowly realised what actually happened. I got my head wrapped around my thoughts for a second, before finally getting out of the car. I put the steering wheel back into its place before I let the bodywork hold my weight easily until I jumped off, punching my fist into the air and running to the team immediately. For a split second I thought I would faceplant from the force with which I started running, but luckily a few mechanics caught me before I could embarrass myself in front of the cameras. This second place felt like a win as I got pulled into tight hugs and were met with fistbumps and slaps to my back or helmet. I could feel when Dan arrived at the group hug, almost pushing me off my feet but luckily catching me before I could compensate for the missed faceplant. I thought my face would split into two with my widened grin as he pushed up my visor, the only shield that saved me from everyone knowing I was already crying.

“ I knew it. I told you that you would cry. ” He laughed at me the second he looked through the slot in my helmet, giving it a pat after his words, making me shake my head. He brought me back to the memories we made at the start of the season, making me realise how far we have actually come. “ It’s okay, we all do it. Even if we deny it. ” He shrugged a little, pulling me back into a hug, before the team pulled me away again.

I was soon ushered to the little stand where I could put down my helmet and gloves before finally having a drink. I got to get my interview done second, the whole setting a bit awkward as I never got to experience it before. By the time I finally warmed up to the task we were already done, getting to walk back to my stand until everyone was ready for the podium ceremony. I almost reached my destination when I was pulled back by my arm and enveloped in a hug immediately. I let out a squeal from the surprise that rushed through my body from the force of someone yanking me, but as soon as I realised it was Lando it turned into a chuckle. The first time it actually hit me how tired I felt, was when my body relaxed into his embrace, with my head falling onto his shoulder.

“ I guess the sticker brought you some luck? ” He asked, pushing me back a little, even though I would have gladly let him take my weight, giving me a bit more time to rest. I looked up at him as soon as there was a bit of space between us and and I only had to bend my neck back a little. He wasn’t tall, but then there’s my height that could never actually be called height.

“ It did, thank you. I still can’t really believe it. ” I shook my head a little, letting go of his arm when I realised I was still holding onto him, after getting my balance back. “ This is so bizarre. I feel like I took someone’s place just out of nowhere. ” I let out a sigh, looking around as Checo was still answering some questions and the others slowly getting back to their teams.

“ You took your place. It was waiting just for you, and never let anyone take away from it. You don’t owe them anything. ” Lando answered immediately, repeating similar words to his ‘They don’t own you’ sticker, before the both of us got ushered inside where we would have to part ways. His words stunned me so much that I couldn’t react in time, just let myself get pulled into another hug before he had to get back to his team.

What Lando said stayed with me throughout our wait for the ceremony to start and did not let my stomach calm down. I already had too many feelings swirling around in my gut and it didn’t help when it was time for us to finally get out onto the balcony and take our places on the podium. I already had a few tears in my eyes, chalking them up to the AC inside the building, when it was my turn to walk out and take those two meaningful steps onto the second place of the podium, looking over the crowd of F1 members in front of us. Even though it was my first ever F1 podium ceremony, my eyes were still missing the fans, although I had nothing to compare it to as F2 and F3 podiums were really different.

We waited for Checho to get onto the highest step, clapping for him until everyone stood still to listen to the anthems. As much as I wanted to one day hear mine, right now I was content with what I managed to achieve. Putting the yellow/black cap back onto my head I watched as Checo and their chosen Racing Point employee took their trophies before it was my turn to receive the tiny bit smaller version of it. With a grin taking over my face I stepped forward, making sure I didn’t drop the prize as it still felt huge in my hands, and raising my arm into the hand celebrated with the team even if they couldn’t come closer just yet. While Lance celebrated a bit as well I was already opening up my champagne in order to start spraying the others as soon as the music started. As much as they could have celebrated alone as a team, with both Lance and Checo getting onto the podium, before I could even think about turning away from them their bottles were already aimed at me and I couldn’t hold back my squeal when the cold liquid hit my face and neck.

I was drenched in champagne in just a few seconds, wincing away from the constant attack they started on me. When they turned away from me finally I sprayed them back and then turned towards the crowd and let the champagne go over them even though I knew it would probably not reach them. Stepping back I gladly clinked my bottle to the others’, taking a gulp from it even though champagne wasn’t my drink and my face did scrunch up immediately after the bottle left my lips. I almost stumbled forward with the force that Lance's hand landed on my back in a congratulatory slap that made the both of us laugh in the end, high on adrenaline as the alcohol didn’t yet have time to get into our blood.

Lil met me at the exit of the building, leading me right to the team who were already waiting, silently to my surprise. This changed as soon as I came into their sight, all of them screaming and pulling me into a group hug. I could only hug my trophy closer to make sure it was safe from people bumping into me as the group started jumping up and down. As much as I would have loved to stay and celebrate with them all day long, I had to give my trophy up to one of them after a few photos and leave for the media pen. The knowledge that we had the remaining day after my interviews to celebrate today’s outcome was the only thing that held me back from sticking with the team. We caught Dan for a few seconds as he was leaving with Aurélie and I was entering the pen, and it was perfectly enough time for him to pick me up and spin me around. I felt dizzy and a bit out of breath by the time I could finally feel the ground under my feet again, but I had to get to the sport and didn’t really have to time to calm down before I was already face to face with one of my favourite interviewers.

“ Well, that looked like a fun race to take part in. ” She exclaimed, her excitement just adding even more onto mine. “ How was it from the inside? ” She asked, giving me all the time I needed to get my breath and words together.

“ What gave it away? ” I joked about her first question, the both of us sharing a quick laugh. “ But yes, saying it was enjoyable is an understatement. We gave it our all, as the season is almost over, and it finally worked out. Everyone always worked their ass off to give Dan and I a strategy that could get us either a podium or points, and this weekend everything fell into its place finally. ” I was shaking my head as it still couldn’t wrap itself around the fact that I reached this milestone in my first season.

“ A picture perfect end to the year then? Maybe some motivation for next season with the rebranding and the new car? ” She asked, with the same genuine excitement I always saw on her face whenever we got a few minutes to talk.

“ There’s always something that we can improve on, mostly getting Dan to share a podium with me as well, but I guess that will have to stay for the future. Although Abu Dhabi could still surprise us. ” I shrugged a little, not totally believing my own words, but it was perfect daydreaming material. “ But I’m happy with how this race turned out, and it for sure will give me some much needed confidence inside the car. I feel like we have come a long way since February and it’s also not the end of the road. That’s for sure. ” My grin was probably visible from space, but I was sure it wouldn't die down until I went to sleep from total exhaustion after we finally celebrated today with the team.

“ I’m sure Daniel will gladly celebrate with you like it’s also his podium. He may even offer a space for the trophy at home. ” Her words coming from anyone else would have made me raise my brows, but I could easily detect when she was joking by now.

“ He may but everyone can be sure that the trophy isn’t leaving my hands in the near future. I may even take it on the last race with me in the cockpit. ” I shrugged my shoulders a little, my eyes focusing back on her as she voiced her following question.

Media duties were never and will never be my favourite, but today was bearable and an occasion that I would gladly repeat in a few days time. It let me wind down a little before taking at least a million photos with the team and then changing back into my normal clothing. All the celebrations continued over dinner with music and drinks as well as our usual meals. We all knew the end of the day would bring another race week, but nothing could have held us back from enjoying ourselves this one time. It may have made us a bit more cautious but no one really rejected any drinks that were offered.

In the end the party was shut down a lot earlier than usual, which in the end prompted me to steal a bottle of champagne from the main table and two glasses as well. With those in my hand I left the team behind in search of the one person who didn’t celebrate with us, although I would have liked him there. Carefully, making sure I won’t drop any part of the ‘package’, I knocked on his door as soon as I stepped in front of it. It took him quite some time to open the lock and finally pull the door open. However, as soon as I was met with his sleepy eyes and tousled curls, I knew he must have already gone to bed.

“ I have champagne? ” I offered with a smile, although it would have been fair if Lando sent me away. I was still hopeful and let out a relieved sigh when he stepped away to give me space to enter.

“ That bottle saved you from my wrath. ” He shook his head as he closed and also locked the door behind me. “ So I’m guessing the celebration went well? How does it feel to be on a podium, ” Lando walked back to the bed with me following right behind, until we sat down on his bed.

“ It’s fine. ” I shrugged a little, delighted at the face he made at me as a reaction, before bumping my shoulder into his. “ I’m kidding. It’s unbelievable still, even though I went through the whole process of a podium ceremony. ” I shook my head a little, getting ready to open up the champagne at the same time as kicking down my shoes.

“ The first one always feels strange. But it was deserved. You guys nailed that one stop strategy. ” We clinked our glasses together before taking one sip from it. “ Wouldn’t say it all looked relaxed, comfortable and fun, but in the end it worked out. That’s what matters at the end of the day anyways. ” Lando added, leaning back on the headboard with the sleepy look nowhere to be seen.

“ I was lucky. You don’t have to dance around it. I know I was mostly lucky and just at the right place at the right time. ” My eyes were stuck down on my glass, but the smile never melted off my face though. “ But I’m gonna still enjoy it nevertheless. Tonight is my night, well deserved or not. ” I added while moving up the bed and leaning back right next to him.

“ Hey. ” Lando got my attention, my eyes moving up to his face. “ You deserved it, do not make me repeat myself ever again. ” He shook his head and even though a part of me believed him, I knew this would be a fight in my head that I had to get over by myself. “ If you’re not in the right place at the right time, you wouldn’t have gotten lucky. And one portion of luck doesn’t mean it’s long term. You fought well to keep everyone behind and got the placing you deserved. ” His hand on mine was a welcome weight, in a way grounding my running thoughts and also the adrenaline that was still zooming around my body.

“ How do we always end up on your bed? ” My mind immediately went to lighten the mood, a chuckle accompanying my words before I quickly downed the amount of champagne that was still in my glass.

“ How much did you guys already have before you came here? ” Lando asked, looking up at me when I moved to fill up my glass again. We may have had a few drinks, but I didn’t really feel it’s effect yet.

“ Not much. Don’t fret, I can take a bit more champagne. ” I rolled my eyes a little, putting down the bottle while Lando held the glasses, securing them from falling off the duvet. “ There’s no break to detox before Abu Dhabi, so they got everyone to bed early. ” I let out a sigh, turning back from the bedside table afterwards and taking one out of his hand.

“ And why aren’t you in bed early then? ” He asked back, letting his glass touch mine for a second again. He was waiting for me to answer, but I rather took a sip from the drink before getting onto answering him.

“ I am in bed if you think about it. ” I leaned back again, being the one this time who reached out for his hand and even squeezed back gently. He seemed fairly alert and awake, but you could easily tell he was deep in sleepyland when I knocked on his door.

“ If we look at it like that… Although I’m sure they meant sleeping, and not drinking with your friend. ” Lando shook his head a little, but didn’t stay away from the champagne too much longer either.

“ We will be, just not right now. Although I can leave if I’m not interesting enough. ” I offered, sitting up straighter and pointing towards the door. Truly getting up and leaving was never in my plans, but he didn’t have to know that. “ And not here probably. I have to get back to my room first. ” My nose scrunched up at the idea of having to walk after more alcohol in search of my own room.

“ You don’t have to. There’s enough space here anyways. Who wants to walk after getting tipsy, anyways? ” Lando surprised me with his words, but he only spoke the truth. “ Congrats again. Onto the last race. ” He raised his glass before we took the next sip in sync, the both of us letting out a laugh afterwards. As I was already too lazy to walk more than absolutely necessary when I arrived at his room, in the end his offer seemed comfortable enough to make me stay and fall asleep about an hour and a shower later.

Waking up was fun, right until the headache that last night caused kicked in fully. My only hope was that it was immediately after a race, which meant we would get to relax a bit more than usual. Double headers were already a strain on the body but knowing how I will feel after waking up probably wouldn’t have held me back from celebrating anyways. It wasn’t everyday that you get onto a podium as a rookie, and you can’t just pass on that chance when you’re lucky enough to get it. Taking my phone from the nightstand my eyes were luckily met with a text from Marks, informing me that today is mostly off and I’m only needed for one quick session in the evening before flying to Abu Dhabi. With a sigh I got out of the bed, Lando staying fully asleep, and left the bedroom in order not to wake him up by moving around.

As much as I wanted to wait for him to wake up on his own accord, I knew the team would need me for PR duties and some other interviews. Knowing well what Lando liked and usually ordered for breakfast that fit a driver’s race week diet, I ordered him some breakfast and then took the two glasses and the champagne bottle as I was leaving the room. I knew we would meet up around lunch time, so I wasn’t worried that we wouldn’t get to speak if I leave him there for the day. It was rare that different teams shared a hotel, but luckily I didn’t have to make a run for my own building at dawn and could just walk down the hallway to my own room. Or at least that was the plan, which got cut in half for a second when the first person I saw after leaving Lando’s room was Dan and Aurélie. I should have known our team would be moving around as everyone had meetings and to-do lists to complete before leaving for the next weekend.

“ Good morning! ” They got me out of my staring phase with a synchronized greeting, my cheeks immediately feeling ten times hotter than usual. “ So that’s where the last bottle disappeared to. ” Dan exclaimed right before a laugh breaking free from his insides and I followed his gaze with my eyes, landing them on the bottle in my hands.

“ I… Yeah. Thought no one would be missing one bottle. We had quite a few still when I left. ” I looked back up at Daniel, and even though I was worried he was actually mad at me in a way, I was only met with his usual smile as Aurélie was trying to hold back her laughter. “ What? ” I asked immediately, confused about what part of my sentence they could deem funny.

“ I hope it got the mood up for you guys. ” Dan grinned at me but was already inside the elevator, knowing his words would make me want to hit him. He wasn’t far off as I considered throwing the mentioned bottle at him, but in the end thought it would make too big of a mess. It wasn’t worth it sadly. “ If you guys would like to fly to Abu Dhabi with Max and I, let me know. We have two more seats. ” He added, stunning me at first, but it didn’t sound like such a bad idea in the end.

“ You know what? It did. And I will ask him, thank you. ” I lifted it for a second before sharing a laugh with Aurélie and leaving them to finally get to my room. As much as I could feel the blush creeping up on my neck and cheeks, I wanted to enjoy a great joke and if someone, Dan for sure didn’t mean to hurt anyone with his words.

Getting through the day was a struggle with my headache, but I knew it was just that part of the day before I would get to rest a little. The break between the last interview and my late training session consisted of a quick lunch and a long nap in my hotel room. I didn't really get to meet up with Lando before it was already time for me to leave for the hotel gym. Arriving into the lobby I was about to just straight away go to the room that Mark reserved for us, when I spotted Lando chatting away to some fans with Charlotte by his side. He looked just a tiny bit tired, but was far better off then how I still felt from yesterday. The difference between someone partying and someone just drinking a glass or two. Although it still wouldn't have made me change my mind. After a quick glance at my watch, making sure I wasn't late and had a bit of time, I was already turned towards him and got close enough that I got his attention but wasn't rushing them or the fans in any way. It was their lucky day, I wasn't about to ruin it when I could talk to Lando whenever I felt like it.

I waited until Lando signed their caps and took a few pics with them, a smile getting on my face as well, remembering how it felt to meet F1 drivers while you were only a fan and also while fighting towards a seat. Never with Lando, as he was a part of my life before it could turn into a colleague like relationship, but with almost any other driver from the grid who was already racing while we were just karting or fighting through the junior series. He was already saying bye to them and turning towards me when they seemed to spot me as well and asked for pictures. I snapped out from going down memory lane, my head feeling dizzy for a second as I went from a long time F1 fan to the F1 driver I was now, realising that their question shouldn’t have sounded as strange as it felt for me. The second I realised they were waiting for an answer I nodded and stepped closer, letting them decide how they wanted the picture but I wasn’t surprised when they requested Lando to be in one or two as well.

“ Hi! ” He turned towards me, with his usual grin on show, as soon as the girls were content and walking away from us. “ How’s your head? ” He inquired while Charlotte was still on her phone, meaning we had a bit of time before any of us would have to go.

“ Achie, but I deserve it. Hopefully it will get better before we get to Abu Dhabi. ” I let out a sigh, shaking my head carefully not to make everything worse. “ I wanted to find you during lunch, but ended up napping the time away. Dan offered to take both of us on Max’s jet to Abu Dhabi, if you’re up for it. ” I finally got to the subject that I was looking for him in the first place for. The other is just generally talking with him for a bit.

“ If they’re sure about it I would love to. It will be fun, that’s not even up for debate. ” He accepted my offer without any second thoughts or actually barely any thinking about it. I shouldn’t have been surprised, knowing he was quite good friends with Max and Daniel as well. “ Sure you can take them one on one for a few hours? ” His chuckle made one of my eyebrows raise up in question. “ Never mind, it will be fun. ” Lando clapped me on the shoulder, turning towards Charlotte when she called out his name.

“ Go, before she gets angry. None of us wants to experience that again. ” I shook my head while wincing at the memory, before trying to shake it out of my head. As funny as it was, you never wanted her anger to be aimed towards you.

I gladly moved into the hug Lando initiated as we said goodbye and turned towards our own destination. The second I lifted my eyes from my watch I could spot Mark at the entrance to the hallway, leading from the lobby towards the gym and swimming pool, meaning I was already quite late. The numbers on my watch only assured me of the suspected situation, making me quicken my steps towards my trainer. Luckily he seemed to be on the happier side of life that day, and didn’t try to jokingly punish me or push me to my limits too much for my rare mistake either. For once I could thank the ‘recovery day gods’ for saving me from his anger. Thanks to them I could actually get back to my room without a limp in my step and actually managed to get into the shower without fighting my lazy and tired side.

After a quick shower I got on the phone with Dan to accept his offer about the flight to our next race destination, getting all the info about the journey down on paper. Knowing that Lando would be in the middle of some kind of a team meeting, I only texted him the infos and started packing all my remaining stuff. Living out of a suitcase most of the time had its perks, one being the tiny amount of packing one had to do while travelling from one place to another. Let’s not mention the cons of it though. Just as I sat back down on my bed to bug Lando about not answering me, a message from him arrived on my device making me smile. He also pretty much decided on his own that we would be having dinner together before taking a car to the airport, and didn’t give me a chance to decline in any way. Not that I would have, anyways.

He seemed adamant about getting everything sorted, from getting us a taxi to getting us a table somewhere, that he also kept a secret right until we got there. Luckily it wasn’t anything fancy, my basic choice of clothing fitting the diner, but a place that I mentioned to him during our off days prior to the weekend. I was both surprised and touched that he remembered and went out of his way to make it all happen before we would leave. The atmosphere and the food was out of this world, and even though it probably didn’t fully fit our dietary plan, it would have stayed between us anyways. At least I wouldn’t go and tell on him if he kept it to himself as well. What Mark and Jon didn’t know about wouldn’t hurt them. Or us. Depends on the perspective, really.

After our meal we got another taxi to the airport, where we easily walked through all the checks and were escorted to a lounge for the private jet. I was quite surprised to see Max and Daniel nowhere, but thought they were just either running a bit late or were already on the plane while they ran through our papers once more. I didn’t really understand why Lando looked quite nervous, given we weren’t about to travel with strangers or with a big crowd, but with friends he should have known well and it was his own decision to travel with them. By the time we had to board the plane, and our travel buddies were still missing I was starting to suspect some funny business going on in the background. Lando’s anxious leg shaking throughout our whole waiting time didn’t help my thoughts in any way either.

“ What’s going on, Lando? ” I couldn’t wait any longer to ask then when we were walking up the steps to the plane. He didn’t turn back towards me but never gave me an answer. At least not in the form of words.

My brows were furrowed already, but the lines on my forehead got even deeper as he let me go through the door first, making me the first one to get onto the plane. I was close to getting scared about going first, thinking that they might be planning some kind of a prank on me, but the voices I could hear erased any and every thought from my head. I didn’t even care about my luggage anymore, leaving my suitcase in the way of the entrance and took a few huge steps to finally see for myself if I was just imagining the voices or it was my actual reality. A huge part of me was sure I was actually going insane, but my eyes confirmed the picture created in my head as I could see my whole family on board, not paying any attention to us boarding. It was only my scream that got their heads turned towards the entrance, with less surprise on their faces than I had of course.

I probably could have broken some kind of world record with the speed I had for the few steps I had to take to get to my mum at first, and then everyone else. I could hardly let anyone get out of my squeeze to get to another person, slowly getting through the line that formed as everyone stood up. I couldn’t believe my eyes to see both my parents and all my siblings in front of me and not just through a screen. It took me a good ten minutes to calm down finally, just in time for all of us to sit down as the plane was set to finally leave the airport and take us to Abu Dhabi. I took a seat right next to Lando and across from my parents who looked exactly as ecstatic as probably I did from the outside, but at least felt inside.

“ You’re staying for the whole week? ” My excitement was slowly calming down as everything sank down in my head and it wasn’t such an alien thought after missing them for so long. Mum’s nod made me grin once again before I couldn’t hold back any longer and finally brought up the last race, to tell them everything face to face finally.

Props to them, they all listened to my rambling, even seeming excited about my story, even though they followed the race on TV and already listened to my presentation through a phone. I was even a bit disappointed that I didn’t have the trophy with myself, as it seemed safer to make it travel with the team, but I also knew we would have the time to show them after landing. We didn’t have to get everything ticked off the list in one hour, when we had a whole week and even the weekend for it anyways. I knew I was running on new found adrenaline the second everyone seemed tired other than me, dozing off in their seats while I was still scrolling through my social media, showing Lando a pic once in a while as he was still awake next to me. By the time I decided to put down my phone, only Lando was awake, but getting ready to sleep as he got back to his seat with a blanket.

“ Wanna share half of it? ” He asked just as I was about to ask for exactly what he offered, and I could only nod as an answer. Without another word he got our footrests up and the blanket draped over the both of us, luckily big enough that we could fit under it both.

I had a debate in my head with myself just for a second, before I pushed up the hand rest that was between our seats, leaning my head on his shoulder. He didn’t even seem surprised and that’s why I got a bit scared when he pulled away abruptly, straightening myself up immediately. I got even more confused when he took his discarded hoodie from the little table we had. My cheeks stayed their normal colour only because they didn’t have time to produce enough blush. However the second he placed the folded up hoodie on his shoulder, leaning back fully in his seat, it seemed like only a few milliseconds were enough for that missing blush to arrive. I was glad he was way too deep in his phone to have a chance to look up and make fun of my new colour. Trying my best I just put back my head in it’s previous spot, hiding my cheek into the soft material as much as I could, catching a whiff of his usual cologne coming off of it in the process. It made me sigh out which prompted Lando to turn his head a little and look at me out of the corner of his eye. As an answer I just gently shook my head, closing my eyes again and focusing on getting some sleep as soon as possible.

When I woke up my head needed a minute or two to realise where I actually was while it was still laying on Lando’s shoulder. My leg also must have moved over his, his hand holding it in place, while we were asleep making me halfway draped over him. Feeling the weight of his head and his curls a bit on my forehead held me back from moving too much around as we still had a few minutes before landing and waking him up wasn’t really a priority. Opening my eyes again they landed right on my mum who had a meaningful smile on her face that made me blush as soon as I completely wrapped my head around the situation. I mostly just closed my eyes again until it was really time for us to wake up, when luckily it was Lando who first started moving around meaning I didn’t have to be the mean one, poking him awake. He seemed pretty out of it at first but got himself together by the time the plane finally landed and we were allowed to get off with all our baggage.

The thought of having my family out at a GP again still felt strange as we took a car ride to the hotel where we had our reserved rooms. Lando’s team was at a different one but he still kept us company for the ride and got most of my family’s bags out of the trunk with the help of my dad before taking the same taxi to his own team’s hotel. As it was already late and everyone was tired anyways we all decided to just get our rooms, have a quick dinner and then call it a night. Before going to bed I still made sure to send a thank you message to Lando, but I only saw his reaction to it in the morning as I fell asleep the second my whole body touched the duvet.

I was glad that I never held back from sending that message as in the remainder of the week we never really had time to meet up and talk more than a few words. The first time I got to really talk to him was during an interview that included both of us after the first two free practice sessions, getting to discuss the whole season and the feelings we were bringing into the last race. It all felt like a simple conversation with jokes flying all over the place as well as of course the usual teasing that us being in the same area almost always brought out of people. It was still a lovely start to the weekend and got our spirits up even if the schedule was packed and we didn’t get much socialising after this occasion. As much as this was the last race it still held the same importance and we couldn’t just forget about it. It was still an important occasion for a chance at points that the team needed.

Somehow it turned out to be pretty underwhelming after everything, although that was actually good news in a way. We were happy for the couple of points we managed to get, but it wasn’t the same kind of content feeling afterwards. The only thing that made it special was having my whole family there, watching the race from the stands and also getting to support me right from the garage through the sessions. All of them would have never fit in that small space, but they managed to decide who and when would sit in the garage rather than their seats in the grandstand. There was a smile that never left my face, not even when we had to separate for the nights as they had their rooms a bit further away from me. I usually went to bed with it, and woke up with it still being there, only disappearing while I was in the car and had to focus.

It took a bit of time for both Dan and I to tick all the interviews off the to-do list which meant we could finally film our last team video together. It turned out to be a bit emotional, the thought of separating from him, in the team mates sense of the word, becoming actual reality just as we neared the end of the day. The end of the video felt like it was a real closing point of the season and the start of something new and uncertain but also very exciting. Even though we were free to leave the spot with the camera crew gone, none of us really made a move to stand up and leave the spot where we were sitting at the pitwall right across our garages. It was strange to see the packing get to the point where they started to take off the boards with our names and pictures, from above our own garage openings.

“ Hey. It might be Lando jumping on my nerves and challenging my calmness next year, but that doesn’t mean you can’t come to me. Understood? ” I felt him bumping our shoulders together just as I turned towards him, peeling my eyes off of the packing crew. “ I’m still here, just a few garages away. Even for questions that sound stupid, yeah? ” He asked again, not letting go of my eyes as I nodded.

“ Thank you. I can’t say I won’t need it. ” I let out a chuckle, knowing there will be moments when I will be unsure about the right answer. “ You know... I don’t think I could have asked for a better partner in crime for my first ever season. ” My voice might have sounded a bit shaky during the last few words, but reading his face as much as I could he wouldn’t have been much better off. The hand clapping my back instead of words coming as a reaction also told me that I must have been right.

“ It has been a pleasure. ” He forced his words out in the end, making us both laugh by how formal our conversation sounded. However we both knew, as much as we joked around and with laughter being a main part of the last year, all these words were real and we both meant what came out of our mouths.

It was only when he had to leave that we finally got off of our butts, him leaving towards the car park while I went to get my things together from the garage. I opted for a last walk down the pit lane after retrieving my backpack, watching as I passed every garage, all the teams packing up already. I didn’t miss Lando still standing around, with his team and his phone in hand, and I was about to just wave at him as a goodbye when he called after me. I turned back to see him pass the phone to the two guys next to him while he quickly caught up to me actually running.

“ Hey! Are you coming to the after party? ” He asked without any hesitation, getting to the point immediately. “ I’m sure Dan mentioned it and I hope you didn’t think we would let you pass on it. ” He added with a grin and his arm came up around my shoulder as we continued on my previous route to the parking lot.

“ I knew you guys won’t let me just go back and sleep as normal people would like to do. ” I had to roll my eyes, my smile staying put though as I knew from the moment Daniel brought the party up that I wouldn't get to miss it. “ Yes, I’m going. I already have my outfit waiting for me in my room. ” I let out a sigh when he was still waiting for a real answer from me, even though I thought my words said enough already.

“ Fantastic. Just what I wanted to hear. ” He pulled me closer, almost making the both of us stumble and fall to the ground but luckily somehow we caught ourselves just in time. “ How about I take a taxi to your hotel half an hour earlier than the party and we go together from there? ” He stopped when we got to the end of the pitlane where I would take the exit.

“ I would like that. But don’t be late. Might take myself there alone otherwise. ” I tried to threaten him a bit, even though I knew it probably would never work. He knew me better than to believe such empty words coming from me.

His answer was enough for me though, both saying our goodbyes before I turned towards the exit and he walked back to his team to continue whatever they were doing on his phone. It was only back at the hotel when I realised they were probably already streaming when I met him, as he was still live on Twitch with both of the guys standing around him as well. Deciding it could be my entertainment while getting ready I positioned the phone somewhere safe while I took a shower and got dressed again. I was surprised when he was still going as I was already pretty much done with everything but my hair.

‘ Shouldn’t you be on your way? You might be late already… ’ I took my phone into my hands to send him a message privately and with a bit of a delay could actually hear his phone go off with the notification.

It was already worth it to send it when I could see his face change as he checked his watch for the time and then rushed to the end of the stream. He was of course still on time and would arrive just as I finished up with everything. It was still fun to play with him and make him a bit worried to see his face change in record time. While my screen went dark with his stream turning off I got started on my hair. It didn’t take longer than usual and just as I packed everything away there was a knock on my door. As a last step I pulled on my sandals before taking my little bag from the bed and walked up to the door to open it, revealing Lando in a baby blue shirt and white pants.

“ I’m surprised but also not really, how you’re exactly on time. ” I laughed as his face finally relaxed a little from the tense look he had on just as I stepped outside. “ The fans seemed surprised and sad how quickly you had to leave. ” I let out a sigh, trying to put on a sad face to accompany my words.

“ They would probably let me off the hook if they knew I had a party to attend with someone like you. ” His compliment wasn’t anticipated in any way from my side, making even my hands freeze for a second as I was putting away my keycard. When I looked up at him he already had his signature smirk on, knowing full well he managed to catch me off guard with how his tone told me he meant everything.

We got into the elevator still silently, the both of us leaning back onto the wall, but I couldn’t hold back from looking at him for longer than three floors. I was ready for more teasing words or a cocky grin but his only reaction was reaching out his hand towards me just as we reached the ground floor. With a sigh and a shake to my head I took his hand, letting him lead us out of the building and to a car that took us to the part of the local beach where the party was planned. We could hear the music from a corner away and easily spotted the pack from the entrance as we were granted entry at the sight of our passes.

Turned out we were just on time to get a glass of champagne and listen to the quick season summary before the real partying started. With a last storm of applause and everyone clinking their glasses together the season was deemed close and the music got turned back on, our ears getting saved only by the fact that we were outside and not in a closed-in club. Even if I would have tried to get away after the first few minutes of dancing, Lando and Daniel made sure that I would always have someone keeping me there. I couldn’t say I wasn’t enjoying it as my laughter throughout the night would have betrayed me, but I was still relieved every time when I got to leave the dance floor to get myself a new drink.

After hours of dancing, drinking, conversing and just simply having fun, my feet were happy when Lando offered for us to sit down somewhere. I was a tad bit confused when he seemed to have clocked onto a sitting hammock at the side of the party venue, but I never really stopped him on our way there. I watched intently as he sat down, still holding my hand in his, that he seconds later used to pull me down as well. At the start of the night I might have tried to squeeze in beside him, but right then and there my only thought was to not get his slacks sandy as I sat down on his lap sideways. The back of the hammock almost fully shielded us from the partying herd enough that I could let myself relax into his arm that came around my middle, in order to hold me back from falling off the hammock. We had a great view on the open water with all the music and noise behind us, a bit more muffled than it has been while we were in the center of the crowd. Thanks to probably the alcohol in my bloodstream and also to how tired I was Lando’s whispered “ I’m really glad you’re here too. ” almost went unnoticed even though he said it right next to my ear.

“ Here as in right now with you? Or just in general? ” I wondered when my brain finally processed his words and I realised he wasn’t just thinking out loud. I lifted my gaze onto him from the surface of the water, even though his sudden close proximity made me freeze for a beat.

“ Both. Just you existing and also being part of this whole circus. ” Lando shrugged, his arm tightening around me while he took a sip of his cocktail. I had my drink as well still, but felt like this conversation should be had before I would down even more of it. “ The only part I always like about this hectic place. Even if we had a few bumps on the road until now. ” He was rather looking at the view than me, but in a way I was glad for it, as I got to examine his face without him really noticing.

“ Quite the potholes if you ask me… ” I tore my eyes away from his irises to carefully move around a bit and sit in a way that I could rest my head on his shoulder. “ Surprised we managed to get through it. We’re both a bit too hot headed for things like this. As much as they think you’re a shy little kid, you have your moments. ” I poked his side ‘accidentally’ with my elbow and could immediately feel the shaking of his body as he both tried to pull away from my attack and tried to hold back his laughter.

“ You’re one to talk. We’re both just as bad as the other. ” He shrugged a little, his fingers digging into my side as he tried to make me squirm, and sadly succeeded with his siege. “ You’re the one with a dragon on her helmet. It fits you well. ” He added, making me roll my eyes, but it wasn’t enough to make me wanna leave. After the whole season nothing would get me to actually leave his side. At least not things that could actually happen.

“ Exactly why I have it on there. Scares people away before they try to get close to me. ” My head fell back onto his shoulder, my forehead resting on his neck and my eyes fluttering close. “ I just need to come up with something new design wise for next year. With the new colours. ” I let out a sigh, already daydreaming about the new season, even though usually it stressed me out. His proximity had a great effect on numbing my brain and making me relax. “ You should design one for me. Yours always looks pretty neat. ” I looked up at him, immediately feeling as excitement slowly woke up my brain.

“ I’m not against the idea. But you can’t say no if it’s not perfect. ” He raised his finger in front of my face, threatening me in the funniest way possible. I accepted his conditions with a nod, letting my head fall back in it’s previous spot, staying put even when he flicked my nose. His body shook with his laughter but it wasn’t in any way uncomfortable.

The songs in the background came one after the other, the party seeming endless with all the noise and shouting. In that moment I felt free in every sense of the word. We finally closed a season, giving us some time off, that we could decide to spend however we wanted. It was also the first time where I didn’t try and answer every question that popped up in my head and just tried to enjoy the moment. Also the fact that no kind of media was allowed to the party let me really just go with the flow without worrying what will get onto the world wide web for every fan to see. The drivers still could post content about our night, but we both knew they were our friends who would look out for us and make sure to not post anything that we wouldn’t approve of.

That free feeling was the only thing that gave me enough confidence to move my head off his shoulder, accidentally bumping into his chin as he made the same movement. I couldn't help a quiet chuckle right until his arm moved up from around my waist to around my neck. His eyes were everywhere, in the end focusing in on mine finally, a smile getting onto both of our faces. I could feel his fingers going through my hair absentmindedly, as it was pushed onto my shoulder where his arm was resting. His other hand was still on my thigh, resting right under where my dress ended, his fingers drumming on my skin to the rhythm of the songs in the background. It was all a welcome feeling and sensation going up to my scalp and running through my whole body. His gaze only intensified its effects even though his eyes were even softer than usual. It was the first time I didn't try to understand what's going through his head, although I was pretty sure we had almost the same thoughts and ideas going through our brains.

I would never be able to tell who moved first, but it wasn't important anyways. The only thing I could focus on was how his lips met mine in a quick and chaste kiss. His arm stayed around my neck, holding me closer softly, giving me the chance to pull away any time. Not that I needed that chance. My eyes opened again the second we separated, his doing the same and meeting mine immediately. I could almost feel his smile on my own skin from our proximity and couldn't hold back from the need to experience it as I leaned forward for another kiss. We soon separated again for air, prompting me to move around a little, turning more towards him in order to hide my face in his shoulder. As much as I moved in for the second one, my thoughts caught up to me finally, making me blush immediately. I could feel as he took the glass that was still in my hand, putting it aside before he fully hugged me closer to himself. The moment my hand was free it shot up to the nape of his neck, holding on, even though I already felt secure from falling by his arms. I couldn't help but let my fingers go through the short hairs there, while a shiver ran through my body at first by his breath on my neck and then by the little kiss he left right behind my ear, brushing my hair away from the spot to give himself space.

" Don't you dare close me out now. " Lando spoke up, right next to my ear, leaving another kiss there before leaning back a little. I followed his movement with my body, hiding my face back into his neck but bumping my nose into his jaw intentionally in the process. "You can put on a dress like this but then be shy about a kiss? " I could both feel and hear his chuckle shaking his whole body while his hand slid onto my back to emphasize his words, about my backless dress.

" They're two very different things. " I mumbled into his skin, amazed at how he seemed to understand what I said. " You can't compare them... " I moved my head a little, looking down at his hand that had the bracelet on which I gave him not long ago. It always made me feel warm inside, knowing he actually liked it enough to wear it every day. " But I won't, it just surprised me in a way. " I shrugged a little, moving back again and letting my hand slide down to his stomach. I didn't dare to look up at him yet but was perfectly fine and content letting him take my hand in his and hold it there.

“ I’m glad the season ended when and how it did. I wouldn’t exchange it for anything, not even winning the championship. ” His words made me look up immediately and when I realised he wasn’t joking I had to fight my own emotions. In the end, just a second later, my disbelief won over getting wooed by his compliment and I swatted at his chest full force.

“ Yes you would and should. I would be actually angry if you didn’t exchange it for the championship. ” I shook my head at him, totally forgetting about how looking into his eyes would make me feel after everything. I slumped back into my previous spot, but at the same time couldn’t look away. It was visible even in his eyes as his grin got wider and I was more than mesmerized by the front row view I got of it.

“ Hi. ” He bit out just in time, before my elbow met his ribcage and he let out a huff of air, surrendering to my attack. “ Feisty. Has anyone told you that before? ” His hands tried shielding his sides from another round of attack that his words could have brought onto himself.

I was just about to roll my eyes at him when I could see movement in the corner of my eyes, and turning my head I was met with Daniel standing not far away from us. “ Lovebirds, wanna be part of the group pic? ” He called out to us, not giving me any time to feel embarrassed by our position. He didn’t seem one bit surprised and was already turning away when Lando answered his question.

I was the first one to get to my feet, taking my sandals and the remainder of my drink into hand, knowing I would probably lose them otherwise. I watched as Lando did the same with his shoes and glass, my eyes sticking to the part of his shirt where a few too many buttons were opened as he straightened up. In my dazed state I gladly took his hand when it was offered to me, letting him pull me towards the group gently. We both left our shoes at our official table before joining everyone else at the front of the bunch thanks to both of our heights. I didn’t pull away when Lando’s arm came around the front of my shoulder, in that moment giving up any care of the world around us. I just wanted to enjoy the bit of time we still had before the break started.

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hitozy · 3 years

Text

have you ever ‹ masterlist › denouement

tw! manipulation, mentioned underage sex, dubious consent, cheating. i also want to point out that reader is around 2-3 years younger than Iwaizumi, while Jae and Iwa are the same age. ps. this is a long chp :)

𝐫𝐞𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐬𝐞 𝐢𝐬 𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐲 𝐚𝐰𝐚𝐤𝐞

Iwaizumi has no idea of what has possessed him tonight. He doesn't know why he's walking around the city in the middle of the night a day before he should be on his way home.

He doesn't know why after the celebration he didn't follow his teammates. He doesn't know why he has barely answered your texts since after the game.

He also doesn't know why he agreed to go and see Jae, to hear her out.

He's been doing fine so far, seven months Jae clean and while the first three were bumpy; your company had made it easier to deal with. Your cheerfulness, your happiness, the adventures you've both have been planning have taken his mind off the broken heart he was nursing.

She continued to contact him, even when he begged her not to and blocking her phone was no use, she just got a new one and tried again and again. His resolve was diluted and he knew it would be a matter of time before he fell into his old habits.

lil jae: congrats on the win haji! let me invite you to a drink, im in town.

Iwaizumi recalls an old memory from back in high school, a few weeks before moving to California, you were sitting on his bed helping him organize his suitcase with 'essentials'. His clothes all over the place but as always, you showed enthusiasm at helping him out.

He remembers you giggling and calling him a dork while folding his Godzilla themed underwear and placing it inside his suitcase. He remembers the way you hummed some songs that you had just placed on your shared playlist because 'it's kinda your style' and it kinda is. He even remembers what you were wearing, a pair of black running shorts and a blue tank top. When you reached over the edge of his bed for his fallen socks, your cleavage was visible to his eyes, 'If a man ever peers down his shirt', he thought, 'I'll kill him without hesitating.'

But what he remembers the most is you pulling out an old shoe box from under said bed, a shoe box that held his most treasured things. Pictures from his childhood that matched the ones on your bedroom wall, doddles from your hand, your favorite flowers pressed inside a copy of your favorite book, short stories and poems, snippets of stories never finished from you. He'll never forget your teary eyes and happy smile when he took the box from you, emptying the contents carefully inside his backpack. The hug you gave him afterward still sets his heart on fire, nothing has ever been more lovely than you and your happy smile.

He also remembers Jae coming into his room right during your hug, wearing an empty smile on her face, her eyes red and raging. He's only ever seen her this mad whenever he's with you and he still doesn't get it.

She stay's to "help" when in reality all she does is glare at yn the whole time. It helps that you don't even mind the glares or the bad mood, joking that 'Jae's grumpy because we couldn't go to the movies today'.

It was late afternoon when you left, Iwaizumi had given you a bag filled with some of his stuff - things he knew you loved and adored, things he couldn't take. He watched you get inside your parents car and wave him goodbye, even though you both knew he'd be coming through your window in a few hours for movie night.

He remembers when he came back inside to find Jae naked on his bed. How angry she was and how she took it out on sex, the tension so palpable he could taste it. Once it was over, she walked towards his backpack and pulled out all of YN's things and that's when it clicked. She was mad because he was taking stuff about YN and not her, she made it clear when Jae told him, 'What the fuck is this.'

He remembers that hours later, he finds himself in your room squeaky clean and wearing nothing but his sweatpants and socks, his back against your front with his head against your breasts. He hadn't told you that Jae broke up with him, but he knew you had figured out he was sad because your arms cradled him since he got situated there and had not moved since.

How Jae said she wouldn't move with him in the end. How she had decided to stay in Japan and have him go to California all alone in the end, just because she wanted him to. How he begged her to come, to stay with him, to not leave him and how he watched her get dressed to go home. How she winked at him as she left with a, "Call me once you're in Cali."

How she only wants to go out when she knows he has plans with you. How she only cares about him when you're around or how messed up and used he feels ever since she took his virginity during your 14th birthday party.

He feels disgusting sometimes after sex with Jae, disgusted with himself on how wrong it is but how much he loves her still.

He didn't have to say any of that to you, the kiss on the forehead you just gave him eased it all away anyway.

He remembers all of this while he's kissing Jae in her hotel room, her dress and underwear discarded somewhere in the room, his cock buried deep inside of her like a starved man, Her nails racking down his chest from his unbuttoned shirt as she moaned at the feeling.

When Jae separates herself from him with half lidded eyes, she smirks, "I bet my little cousin can't even kiss right, the little virgin." She kisses the column of his neck, grazing her teeth against the skin, getting ready to mark him as hers and even though he doesn't agree with her, he stays quiet.

A memory burst through his mind as he pounds into Jae. The way your sighed his name when he settled himself inside of you, the way your nails scratched his back when he hit your G-spot, the way you moaned when his thumb circled your clit; your gummy, tight walls griped him as you came, with his name on your lips. Your soft, pillow lips that have only been his, only kissed him.

"Be safe out there, Hajime! I'll be waiting for you!" She smiled as she kissed him goodbye by the front door.

He turned to deepen the kiss, pulling her closer to him like a starved man, "Don't worry, I'm not gonna runaway, mochi."

As he walked down the steps of his house, he heard her say "I miss you already."

It's then that Iwaizumi snaps out of it.

He pushes her off of him and steps back until his back is against the wall, feeling disgusted with himself in a way he hasn't since they broke up.

"I can't do this, I won't do this, I-" he pushes himself off the wall, tucking himself in and picking up his stuff, "Never again, Jae."

Jae watches him leave, a sinister smile spreading across her face. Her gaze steady as his figure disappears into the night, "If you think you can just up and go, Haji, you are very mistaken."

She walks to where she hid her phone and chuckles as she presses send, "Lets see what my little cousin has to say, hmm?"

Iwaizumi was worried, it wasn't normal for you to not answer his calls or texts. He was on the road back home with the team, their ruckus would usually give him a headache, but right now? Right now he can't focus on anything except the little 'unread' mark at the bottom of his last text to you.

my one: mochi? r u ok? im on my way back home

He didn't expect to come back home and find you in the living room in silence. Your eyes rimmed red and puffy from crying, you didn't have to say anything for him to know what had happened.

Jae told you.

He wish he could be surprised, but Jae had been nothing but a devil all this time and he can't believe he never saw it until now. Until he married you, an angel.

"Mochi, I'm sorry. I'm very very sorry, please talk to me." He knelt at your feet, his hands on your knees trying to get you to look at him. His guilt crashing down brick by brick, he should have never gone out to see her.

"I know this means nothing to you, mochi. But I'll never see her again, only when its a family reunion or you're with me."

Silence.

"There is no excuse, but yn, please, look at me, let me explain."

She pushes him off a bit, without much force as if her sadness took away all her strength and his heart clenched. How could he do this to his best friend? Lie and lie, again and again and again.

YN-”

“No, STOP! You- you got your say, now it’s my turn.” She's shaking and her breaths are short. She's starting to have a panic attack.

I get up and advance towards her slowly, “YN you need to calm down. Here,” I place my hand on her back, “let me-”

She pushes me off, her back towards me, “Please, don’t touch me. Please, please, please.” She's sobbing and its hurts so so much.

It hurts, it hurts, it hurts.

“Remember your breathing exercises, mochi. In and out. In…”

Eventually her breathing normalizes but she still won't look at me and it takes all of my strength to not touch her.

“All I ever wanted was for you to love me, Hajime.”

Whoever said words can never hurt someone, has never been in my place. She just stabbed me without a knife and its more painful than I ever imagined.

“I wanted you to love me, to see me as your wife, as a woman but you didn’t. You don’t and I- it hurts so much.”

“But, mochi, you said you would marry me so we didn’t end up with strangers.”

“I know.”

“Then why-”

“I lied. I’ve loved you since the moment you came into my life. I’ve loved you for years, even before Jae came into the picture. I’ve loved you so so so much, I love you so much.”

“… you know about Jae? Since when?!” I made the mistake of reaching out for her, she pushed me back and said nothing. The dread of her knowing, of her finding out before today makes me sick.

“If you knew then why did you marry me!? Did you think I would change? That my feelings would change? You know I’m not like that.”

“I do know. I- thought that maybe-, but then it was clear that nothing would change but, I made a promise to you and I said it in our vows.”

“YN-”

“I know the mistake is mine. I know what all the blame is mine to take, I know it and I accept it. I’m sorry, Hajime, that’s me that you have to stay with.”

She finally turns to look at me, but I wish she hadn't. The tears are flowing steadily down her cheeks to her neck. I did this to her, I hurt her again and again, without thinking. No, without watching. Because if I had paid attention to her like Jae did, I might have seen it sooner.

“We could get a divorce, you know. That way you can stop getting hurt. Stop your heart from breaking. You don’t deserve this.”

“It’s okay. I- I give you permission to do it, to break my heart forever.”

“…What?”

She takes my hand, and in-between the tears she smiles at me as if her heart wasn't breaking in two. As if I didn't shatter her dreams for a few sloppy seconds, “It’s okay, I know what I signed up for, I knew it from the beginning. I guess I just didn’t want to accept it. So go ahead, break my heart, break it into a million pieces! I give you permission, Iwaizumi Hajime, please just - don’t leave me.”

I can't say anything, what am I supposed to say? My sweet, sweet girl is hurt and damaged and all she wants is for me to stay. I feel disgusted in a way I never did with Jae, because instead of being used, I am using her.

I bring her into my arms, and say the only words that have actual meaning between us, "I love you, mochi."

"I- I'll do better, I promise. Please YN," He gripped her shoulders tightly, "Please forgive me, I'll do whatever just, I'm so sorry, baby."

He can feel the tears spilling onto his shirt, a scorching pain expanding through his chest at the consequences of his actions. He hurt the one person who didn't deserve it, who he promised to keep safe and happy.

"Hajime, please take a bath, I wanna sleep without the smell of Jae."

His heart dropped at her words, he forgot that he had just upped and left from Jae's, only changing his clothes for comfort. His skin still smelled like her. As he separated from her, he kissed her forehead, "Join me?"

He laid on the bed with her hours later, her head on his chest where he could see her puffy eyes. She had washed him thoroughly to the point were he thought she had scrubbed him raw, and he couldn't blame her - he wanted to do the same since the beginning.

He pulled her closer, practically on top of him and felt her heartbeat against his own. He had done something terrible and he needed to fix it, fix this. So he needed to take the first step.

to lil jae: for someone who says they love me, u sure like to make me miserable. i don't know why u hate yn so much and tbh i don't care anymore. i don't want to see u or talk to u ever again. if u contact me, i'm gonna get a restraining order, jae. i can't do this anymore.

to lil jae: goodbye jae.

do you wish to block this number?

yes.

Remorse is memory awake, Her companies astir,— A presence of departed acts At window and at door.

Its past set down before the soul, And lighted with a match, Perusal to facilitate Of its condensed despatch.

Remorse is cureless,—the disease Not even God can heal; For ’t is His institution,— The complement of hell.

Remorse is memory awake - Emily Dickinson

taglist ! @daphnxy @zukoslosthishonor @i-am-a-hoe-for-shinya @mrsdoradominguez-barnes @anejuuuuoy

a/n! *hands you all this and runs* i'll see you soon for chp11~

but in all seriousness, i wrote this chapter with my heart on my sleeve. love is truly the strongest curse and for it to be unrequired? imagine it.

now, i'm off to write the next part! and i am sorry :) ♥

#owwaw💔#owwaw #iwaizumi fic #iwaizumi hajime #iwaizumi hajime x reader #iwaizumi hajime fic #iwaizumi smut #because of the short sex scenes

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fortheloveoffanfic · 3 years

Text

Behind Closed Doors

Keanu Reeves x OFC (A/n- And now, I shall make it complicated)

Masterlist

Warnings- Jealousy

Chapter 2 All In a Long Weekend

Saturday

That Saturday morning, breakfast had been done a tad earlier than usual, and afterwards, Emma had stayed back in the kitchen, packing a picnic while Keanu oversaw the children as they got ready for the day's beach trip. Matt and Poppy had been raving about their trip to Malibu for the past two weeks, asking every night before bed if they'd still be going. Each time, Emma had assured them that unless it rained, they were certainly going.

"You look excited," an older woman came up beside Emma, setting down some sodas into the cooler, just as Emma continued preparing sandwiches for the container that was set to be packed into the woven basket. She and Zelda, despite the fifteen or so years between them had become fast friends, always eager to help each other out when possible. The older woman was also sometimes keen of giving Emma little snippets of advice that she thought my be helpful; never go into Keanu's office when he had the door shut, don't give the kids ice pops inside and possibly the one that had saved her the most trouble, always check the allergy list that Keanu had stuck to the fridge before making the kids something new.

Beaming absently at her comment, Emma carried on with her task, making cheese and turkey sandwiches; a favorite among Keanu and his kids, "I am, it's been a while since I've been to the beach, and even if I'm still working, it's gonna be fun." Closing up the Tupperware, Emma set it in the basket, moving on to prepping snacks, just as Zelda started on some frozen treats for the sizable cooler. In retrospect, it might have seemed like a lot, but when you were having a day trip with kids, it was best to prepare for anything. "Plus, it'll be nice to spend some time together, just the four of us."

Furrowing her eyebrows in confusion, Zelda paused for a minute, "Five dear," she corrected, a little shocked when Emma didn't understand what she meant.

Certainly, Keanu must have told her!

But really, he hadn't.

Just as Zelda was about to explain though, the sound of the front door opening and shutting, followed by a very loud, and an annoyingly exuberant; "Darling!" After that, it wasn't long before the sound of heels clicking against the floor drew nearer, and out of the long hallway emerged a woman, tall, blonde and just as famous as Keanu.

"Sweet-" Upon seeing the pair, the Miranda Riley, former Victoria Secret model and world famous actress, stopped in her tracks, scrunching her perfectly straight nose as if she'd smelt something terrible, "Oh," her made up face fell, "Its you; Zora and…….the new one."

A little annoyed by her obviously snooty behavior, Emma opened her mouth to speak up, "Actually it's-" Though, when Zelda grabbed her arm, squeezing warningly, she shut up immediately, sealing her lips tightly.

Though, it didn't really seem like any of it greatly affected Miranda, especially when Keanu jogged into the room from the other hall, still bare foot while his worn out t-shirt was soaked at the front, probably from herding the twins into a bath. "Mandy," he grinned, and Emma swore it was stiff and forced. Maybe it was just her imagination though, cause with barely any hesitation, Keanu was taking the woman in his arms, holding her in a more than friendly hug before planting a lengthy kiss on her deep, ruby lips, one of his hands reaching up to cup her face.

The world seemed to slow down as the entire scene unfolded before her; the way he held her, looked at her when they pulled away to speak. A soft, pained gasp seeped past her lips and Emma wasn’t sure what she’d been expecting when Miranda walked into the house, but she did know that the last thing she’d predicted was that it would hurt so much. Her lungs were set ablaze and a similar sensation prickled at her eyes. Rage, betrayal, jealousy, Emma couldn’t tell which it was, but she did know that she wanted to run out of the room and not have to face Keanu for the rest of the day. Hell, maybe even the rest of the month.

Slowly, as if she were just coming up from being submerged in an ice cold bath, Emma brought herself back to the moment, raising her gaze when Keanu sought to introduce them, “Mandy, you remember I told you about Emma, our new nanny.” That was what she was, the nanny; the woman who took care of his kids, nothing more. Even if quieter moments had suggested otherwise. The tension, the long stares and innocent touches that thrilled her nerves, they meant nothing to Keanu. “And Em, this is my girlfriend, Mandy.” Well that didn’t feel like a bullet to the chest at all.

“It’s nice to meet you,” the smile that she plastered on her face was probably the hardest one she’d ever managed, and when Emma offered her hand, it wasn’t difficult to miss the flash of disgust that crossed Miranda’s pale features. Never meet your heroes, they said. For as long as Emma had known herself, Miranda had been an icon in the fashion world, she was well connected, and had set most of the trends that Emma had her friends had desperately wanted to mimic in their teens. It was her, among other inspiring names in the fashion world that had prompted Emma to go to a design institute and not a conventional college. But right then, she might have been happier going back to a time where she’d never crossed paths with Miranda.

Hesitating before offering Emma a toothy, winning grin, Miranda took her hand, shaking quickly over the counter before letting it go again, “Mmm, yes, it's…….nice to meet you too, Emily.”

“Emma,” she corrected, having to bite her tongue so she wouldn’t say anything more. The last thing she’d want was to lose her job after telling off her boss’s out of touch bitch of a girlfriend.

“Right,” Miranda appraised her look, a bright blue sundress, raising an impressed brow, probably only complimenting her to appease Keanu, “Cute dress.”

Before Emma could speak up, Keanu interjected, “She looks lovely doesn’t she? Made it herself,” he didn’t seem remotely aware of the heaviness in the room, or the way Miranda clenched her jaw when another slew of praises for Emma left his lips, “She’s so talented, Poppy is already roping her into making princess dresses for Halloween,” he chuckled, shaking in his head.

After another minute spent gritting her teeth, Miranda sought to change the topic, clearly having had her fill of Keanu’s pride in his nanny, “Where are the little ones anyway? It's nearly ten, we’re going to be late.”

With that, Emma’s head snapped towards Zelda, who'd opted to finish the cooler and snacks in silence, so she wouldn’t have to endure any of the painstaking conversation, “She’s going?” She whispered when Keanu and Miranda weren’t looking, eyes wide and frenzied.

“Yeah,” she nodded, barely looking as Emma when she followed her to the fridge, while Keanu and Miranda spoke, or rather, canoodled in hushed tones, "I feel like I should have told you he has a girlfriend," Zelda paused, just after reaching for a half filled carton of strawberries.

"Ya think?" Emma hissed, glancing backwards at the couple, feeling her heart pinch at how lovey dovey they were. She could have sworn there was something between herself and Keanu. "How hard was it to say 'Hey Em, you know our boss has this girlfriend, and she's like, a total bitch.' What the hell does he even see in her anyway?"

"She's tall and gorgeous?" Zelda shrugged casually, "Look, I don't get it either, but he loves her, they've been together for almost two years and I think she's convinced him to go public by the end of this year." Her face fell at Emma's troubled expression, reaching out to rub her shoulder sympathetically, "I see the way you look at him, and if there's something between you two, then……and I don't mean this harshly at all, maybe you need to back down. Miranda, she's……she's not someone you want to mess with," sighing deeply, Zelda peered over to see if they were being overheard, "She gets what she wants, and right now, she wants Keanu and you don't want to be in her way."

Gritting her teeth, Emma pulled away harshly, "I don't know what the hell you're talking about," she squared her shoulders, "There's nothing between Keanu and I," maybe she was getting more defensive than she needed to be, but Emma didn't care. "I'm gonna go finish getting the twins ready," she announced loudly, stalking out of the room and down the hall, and hopefully, leaving behind whatever she'd started to feel for her boss.

As it turned out, Matt and Poppy had all but put their clothes on over their swimsuits, and they were so excited about going, that they got into their little summery outfits without fuss. Afterwards, tiny feet clad in colorful sandals, they raced each other downstairs, leaving Emma to collect their bags before she headed down.

She was walking towards the stairs, backpacks in hands, really just minding her own business, having just started to calm down after the whole Keanu/Miranda fiasco, when, just as she neared the door of Keanu's home office, she heard it. He was deep in conversation, and had unknowingly left the door just a sliver open, enough for her to catch on to some juicy bits. "I know mom," he sounded exasperated, and when she dared to peek in, Emma found that his back was to her, as he stood facing the window, one hand stuffed into the pocket of his jeans, "But I'm not getting any younger, what do you want me to do? Wait till I'm sixty?" He sighed heavily, shaking his head, "Matt and Poppy need a mother, and Miranda……" he trailed off, listening intently to what his mother had to say. Leaning closer, Emma wished she could be privy to the other end of the call, aching to hear what his mother thought about the succubus that he called a girlfriend. But alas, she'd have to settle for whatever she got.

After a few minutes had passed, Keanu spoke again, turning around, leaving Emma to dash for cover, though still within earshot. For a minute, she held her breath, awaiting the moment where Keanu would poke his head out the door and catch her eavesdropping. But it never came, and instead, he continued, "I think I'm going to do it tomorrow night, we're going to dinner, and the nanny will watch the kids. I have the ring already. I think she might like it."

Ring?

The sirens in Emma's head were going off so loudly that she barely registered his tone, the absence of excitement or joy, things that were usually there when someone was smitten enough to propose. There was too much going on in her head; the irrational fear of never having a chance with Keanu, the more rational fear that Miranda might become her boss too. Tuning out the rest of the conversation, not caring to hear anymore, Emma dragged herself towards the stairs, slinking down towards the kitchen, where she found Zelda entertaining the children.

“Everything okay?” She probed when Emma placed the bags on the counter, next to the cooler and picnic basket, her features still crestfallen.

“Yeah,” she mustered up a smile, inching closer to her friend, her voice dropping an octave, “I think Keanu’s going to propose to Miranda, like tomorrow night.”

“What?” Zelda’s eyes went wide, her jaw hanging slack, and she almost dropped the dishes she had just started putting into the cupboards, “How do you know that, did he tell you?”

“Tell her what?” Speak of the devil. Miranda startled them both, and for a second, Emma was worried that she’d overheard their conversation, though that too was short lived.

“Everyone ready?” Keanu strode into the room, and though Emma wanted to meet his gaze, she restrained herself, not even trying to respond, just going over to gather some of their things, her teary smile faltering when the kids excitedly started following her to the car.

At some point, Miranda had eased Keanu away from where they’d set up their picnic on the beach, urging him into a walk even though the kids had pleaded with him to stay and help them build sandcastles. Emma had taken his place, helping them with their little construction project, highly aware of how upset Poppy still was. “You okay Pop?”

The girl frowned, using her fragile fingers to sweep some hair out of her face, “I wish daddy would have stayed and built it with us,” she mumbled, dumping another bucket of sand to create segment of the castle, though doing it so harshly that the new section just crumbled, “He always leaves when aunt Mandy comes around.”

“I’m sure that’s not true,” even if she didn’t like Miranda, if she was going to be Matt and Poppy’s step mother, Emma couldn’t go around bad mouthing her to them, “I’m sure he still spends time with you. And aunt Miranda seems really like you two.”

“Not as much as you,” that was Matt, his expression skewed by his dark mane falling over his face, “She’s always telling us to be quiet. And she’s so boring,” he stressed, lurching forward, only half interested in ranting about Miranda, still very invested in their sandcastle, “She almost made dad stop my swimming lessons.”

“What?” That time, it was a struggle to keep her annoyance at bay. Even if it was just one side, even if Matt couldn’t possibly know the entire truth, it was still enough to rile Emma up. How dare she? Matt was the best on his team! Taking a breath, Emma knew it was time to shift the conversation, and cheer the twins up before she said something that she’d regret, “You know what? Why don’t we give this a break? We can go to the water, have a splash war!”

“Yeah!” They jumped up immediately, barely giving Emma a minute to shimmy out of her sundress, revealing her simple, floral bikini before joining them in the water. It didn’t take long to lift their spirits, and before long, Matt and Poppy were teaming up to out splash Emma. Their gleeful giggles were music to her ears and she adored seeing their wide grins. They’d waited almost a month for that trip, they deserved to enjoy as much as they could, even if Miranda was going to take up most of Keanu’s time.

They probably spent hours past noon in the water, and not once did anyone’s smile falter. Emma gave them ice pops, and insisted that they have some water once or twice, though each time, they accepted without fuss, and she couldn’t tell if was the sugar from their snacks, or just how immersed they were in the games, but even when Keanu and Miranda returned near sunset, they didn’t show signs of tire.

“You guys having all the fun without me?” Keanu let go of Miranda’s hand, standing where the water would wash over his feet, pulling the sand back as it receded.

A pang of anger flared inside of her, making Emma want to remind Keanu that he was the one that left, but she suppressed it. A fight wouldn’t solve anything. She was so caught up in being annoyed with Keanu, that she hadn't noticed how dark his gaze had grown when his eyes fell on her, kneeling in the water, rivulets rolling off her tan skin, the top of her bathing suit pressing her breasts together, a generous amount of her cleavage spilling out voluptuously. “Well why don’t you join in?” She made herself laugh, and while Emma was hardly as much of an actor as the two A listers before her, she’d liked to think she managed pretty well.

“Sounds great,” he didn’t even seem to notice Emma’s irritation, bubbling beneath the surface. In a flash, he was pulling off his t-shirt, tossing it to the sand, getting into water wearing just his swim trunks, and as he drew closer, his cheerful tone faltered, probably realizing that being in the water with her wasn’t going to do him any favors, “Do you guys wanna play chicken fight?” Keanu turned to his kids, only to be met with excited nods, “And maybe Mandy wants to play too?” He turned to her, eyes somewhat hopeful, “And we can let Em have a break,” swallowing thickly.

“Oh, I…..” Miranda seemed perfectly out of her element, smoothing a hand over her stylish, white sundress, and then pushing up the dark tinted sunglasses, which formerly guarded crystal green orbs. It took a minute, but eventually, she conjured up a tight grin, “Chicken fight isn’t really my kind of game,” she laughed nonchalantly, “Besides, the water will ruin my hair. You should let Emily play, childish nonsense seems right up her alley.”

Subduing the urge to roll her eyes and fire a few obscenities towards Miranda, Emma took a breath, gazing between Keanu, who’d gone cold, and Miranda who’s wicked mirth was reflected in her defiant smile, “Like I said this morning, it’s just Emma. And that’s fine, I actually love childish nonsense, its way more fun than sitting on the sand like a……” stuck up bitch, “Boring grown up.”

Amused with her half hearted insult, Matt laughed loudly, while Poppy just giggled, already trying to get up on Emma’s shoulders. Fuming, Miranda turned on her heel, stomping off towards the mat, and it wasn’t long before the rest of them had forgotten the almost-spat, getting on with their game.

Monday

As usual, Emma was up early, preparing breakfast for everyone. It was just past seven am, and since Mondays didn’t promise cartoon reruns, the kids weren’t up yet. Instead, Zelda had come in earlier than usual, saying that she wanted to get a head start on the housework, but really just looking to gossip. They were in the kitchen together, preparing for hash browns, eggs and bacon, working over quiet chatter, “So…” Zelda nudged Emma’s shoulder with her own.

“So?” Emma chuckled, nudging her back, the comfy cotton of her robe brushing against the sleeve of Zelda’s shirt. She knew exactly what her friend was seeking, but truthfully, she didn’t know how Keanu’s proposal had gone. All she knew was that they’d left for dinner around seven, leaving her to make something for Matt and Poppy, and hadn’t returned until the twins had fallen asleep and Emma had stolen away to her room.

“So, is the wicked witch of the west coast going to be out new boss or not?” Zelda teased, continuing with helping Emma shred some potatoes.

“Honestly-” Emma cut herself off when Keanu walked in, sans shirt and with low riding sweat pants. His hair was a mess, and his good morning was punctuated by a tired yawn. "Good morning Keanu," both women greeted in unison, sharing a look.

They both wanted to know so badly that the itch was almost physical, but it wasn't like they could simply ask. With their one question would come a dozen more from Keanu. Though, as faith would have it, the truth they were seeking wasn't far behind a still half asleep Mr. Reeves.

"Darling," an all too familiar voice purred, shuffling into the kitchen, her blonde hair held up in a loose ponytail and her elegant frame wrapped up in fine satin. Unlike Keanu, Miranda didn't even bother with pleasantries, going straight over to where he stood at the integrated refrigerator, holding him in a hug from behind, strategically angling her left hand so the large rock on her finger would be on full display.

"Still wanna know?" Emma whispered near Zelda's ear, their heads almost touching.

Scoffing, Zelda seemed caught between a sarcastic smirk and a frown, "Not any more."

And because the world was such a cruel place and open wounds would be pointless without a little salt, Miranda abruptly turned to them. "Ladies! Have you two seen my ring?" Without warning she thrust her hand towards them, making the engagement ring on her finger hard to avoid, "Gorgeous right? Keke loves to spoil me," her words were perfectly gag worthy and Emma was finding it difficult to keep down the half cup of coffee she'd had. It wasn't like she was opposed to love or affection or anything, she'd really liked to think of herself as well adjusted in that way, but during the one weekend she'd spent around Miranda, her affections for Keanu always seemed so dramatic that it was nothing short of an elaborate farce.

Yet, it wasn't like she had much of a choice when it came to going forward and having to endure it. Jobs in the fashion world were hard to come by and freelancing would hardly be enough to cover living expenses. So, alas, she'd have to put up with Miranda for a quite while to come. "Don't worry Emily," Emma hadn't even realized she'd zoned out until Miranda called her by the wrong name, for probably the dozenth time. At her next words, Miranda's voice dropped below what Keanu could hear, and there was a wicked glimmer in her gaze, "You're pretty enough, I'm sure you can trick a man into buying you a nice ring. Might not be as many carats, but you'll manage."

That little quip was definitely pay back for Saturday. Fuming, Emma longed to just let her have it, but she was growing so versed in holding her tongue that she did again, deciding right then and there that as much as she loved the kids, she was wholly willing to take the next sustaining job as long as Miranda was in the picture.

*****

Tagging- @harrisongslimited @magnificentclodpiebanana @keandrews @greenmanalishi @rdjloverxxx @danceoftwowolves @planetkt @wheretheriversrunintothesea

#keanu reeves #keanu reeves x reader #keanu reeves x ofc #keanu reeves fanfic #fanfic #fanfiction #nanny au #au #ff #chapter 2

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unhinged-summer-fun · 2 years

Text

farmer joel snippet 04.

Written for Danktober 2022 Day 15: Edgeplay, Armadillo, & National Grouch Day.

Woo! this will be the last farmer Joel Miller snippet I post before the real story goes up. There ARE two more farmer Joel ONESHOTS coming soon (as soon as tomorrow!) but they exist outside of the timeline of the story, though within the same universe. I'm trying to keep them all fairly spoiler-free right now.

warnings for knives, no blood is drawn. implications of suicidal thoughts.

If not, oh well.

Enjoy!

[full danktober list here]

[farmer joel series masterlist here]

"I can't do this."

"Yes, you can."

"You're so much bigger than me, it's not f—"

Joel fixed you with a look and crossed his arms in a truly unfair way that made him look even more broad than normal. You mirrored him, the end of the training knife poking uncomfortably into your armpit. The handle was wrapped in goatskin, the way all the other knives and tools he had were. This one was whittled from a piece of dark stained hardwood, just for you and just your size.

Just your size, that meaning: impossible to imagine using to defend yourself with.

"How in the hell did you survive this long without knowing how to use a knife?"

"I used a gun," you deadpanned. He rolled his eyes. "I've been out of the game a long time, okay? Since the world started to—"

"Enough."

"I said I was sorry about what happened, alright? I don't know how to tell you I won't leave the glade again." Your eyes met your feet, surrounded by soft green grass and the safety of whatever blessing kept this patch of land holy.

Joel's feet joined yours, stepping up close and taking your chin in his hand, tilting your gaze up to his. The expression he held was frighteningly deep, like those pictures of people diving over top of great holes in the earth, just one lapse in luck between them and hell itself. His eyes were dark on a good day, by emotion or by tricks of the light, but now, they held something like fear in the abyss of his irises.

"If you're hurt out here on my watch, I'm never going to forgive myself, sweet thing."

It made your chest ache to hear the confession. Just a few weeks ago, he wouldn't have told you his damn birthday if you'd carved it out of him, and now, you were his sweet thing. His hand opened a little flatter and slid around to the back of your head, pulling you into his chest. The second you were secure against him, he took a deep breath, like he'd been missing a lung in the form of you until he held you close.

"I won't get hurt if I stay in the glade."

"The boundaries of the glade only protect you from that thing, sweetheart. It don't protect you from any of the other monsters out there wantin' to come in."

You remembered cruel, cruel laughter. You remembered a pinch in your neck. You remembered hands tying you to a tree, and the hot wet scrape of skin and blood as you fought for your escape. You wondered if you were still somehow tied to that bloody tree, the slack on the rope just moments away from reeling you back to the teeth.

"Sides," Joel said, kissing your head. "I believe in an after, now. There's gonna be a time where we won't even need the glade to keep you safe, and we won't need a single bullet or blade to feel safe again."

He shuddered out this last confession, whispered it to your hair. What kind of man would whisper hope like a secret, but love like it was any different?

"Okay," you whispered into his chest, and he pulled you to the ground with him.

He faced the house, back to the forest. No use making you more afraid than you were.

"You know what this part's called?" he said, pulling your attention back to where he was holding up his own knife. It was shiny, sharpened to deadliness. There was no point in anything duller, or at least there didn't used to be.

"What part?" you mumbled, distracted by the tiny scars and never-healed bruises on his hands. His hands fascinated you to no end, strong as they were and intensely capable in all areas you'd seen them work.

One of those hands reached up and flicked your nose, making you flinch and huff.

"Horny little thing, pay attention."

You grumbled but nodded, shifting your attention to the weapon he held so confidently in his fingers. How could the point stay outside of his skin and not—oh, his fingers are just that callused up. He pointed to the flat edge of the knife, opposite the bladed edge. "What's that called, sugar?"

"Useless?" you said with a scoff.

"Cheeky," he scoffed right back, nipping you on your ear and pinching the tip of the blade in his fingers so he could take your hand and run it along the flat edge you'd just insulted. "This is called the spine."

"Books got spines. Don't mean they're useful on a knife."

"Will you always be difficult, or do I gotta take you over my knee?"

"We could find out…" you grinned, but turned back to his lesson after getting a goodnatured eyeroll.

"The spine and the handle are the only places you should ever try and touch with your bare hands."

"But you're touching them with your bare hands," you pointed out.

"You know daddy's got rules for you that he don't have to follow."

Your face flushed a deep color and nodded your understanding. "Only the spine and the handle."

"Good girl." He kissed the shell of your ear and moved your touch to where the knife started to swoop down into the slightly-hooked end of the blade. He had you touch the flatter side of the blade, and not where it had been ground into a second edge. "This is the swedge. It's there to help the point pierce easier into whatever you're stabbing."

"Less surface area," you murmured, getting another kiss to your ear as a reward.

"That's right. Now here's the grind line… don't wanna get it too far up or you'll lose the integrity of the blade. And I don't make myself out to be a forgemaster, so you gotta take care when you're whettin' it."

"Are you gonna show me how to do that?"

"Eventually. When I know you won't kill yourself tryna save yourself."

You huffed. He had such an opinion about your abilities, as if you weren't right there in his arms, having survived much of the same apocalypse as him, just on the other side of the country for the most part. "Just because I don't know how to use this weapon don't mean—"

"Did you know seventy percent of knife wounds, even before the outbreak, were fatal?"

He presents that fact to you calmly, like you were supposed to just absorb that.

"No, I didn't," you said, waiting for his point.

"Guns and bows and Molotovs and bombs, I've seen some lucky fuckers survive gettin' hit with. I've never met anyone get stabbed and come out of it the same way. Half the time it was their own damn fault, no fight about it. Shit, I was near-killed after gettin' impaled by rebar couple years back and that's close enough to a stab wound I still feel it sometimes."

Couple years back.

Joel didn't talk much about what he was doing right at the end of the end as some came to call it. It was a sensitive subject to him, anything from five years ago to now. Everything about him made you curious, but you knew there was nothing about you that could coax him into answering your questions about his past.

"I understand, Joel," you said softly. "I'll be careful."

"I know you will," Joel said in your ear.

The afternoon passed in calm instruction, words like choil and ricasso and tang passing from his lips to your ears as the breeze whistled through the trees. He quizzed you lightly, before moving on.

"I'm gonna show you two holds."

"Can—?" you cut yourself off, pulling your hands back toward your chest. His descriptions of the knife, stationary and deadly, had filled you with a healthy distrust of not only the knife but in your own coordination. You'd gotten soft, you knew that, and there was nothing you wanted less than to see that wild look of fear he'd fixed you with when he admitted he couldn't lose you.

"What is it?" he murmured, holding still.

"Can we use the training one? With the armadillo?"

He'd been halfway through the affirmative before your second sentence made him halt. "The what?"

"You carved it in here—arma… Oh that's not armadillo."

You felt him laughing before you heard him. "Amarillo." He threw his head back and laughed, squeezing his arms around your middle and pulling you closer, though you squirmed at being laughed at. You enjoyed the sound of his laughter much more than you valued your pride, anyway.

"You gotta work on your penmansh—knifemanship, Joel."

"Armadillo," he muttered to himself, shaking his head and starting up his laughter all over again. "You're somethin' else, sugar." He kissed the back of your head, and you were half-tempted to throw your head back and break his nose. You told him as such. "Oh, don't be a grouch," he chuckled.

"That's rich, coming from the biggest grouch I've ever met."

You tried holding onto your annoyance. But then he was smiling against your ear and breathing softly as his laughs died down.

"What'd you put Amarillo on the knife handle for?" you said, leaning back to look up at him. Though the trace of his smile still remained on his lips, his eyes started carrying sad, heavy clouds in them.

"It's a silly reason."

"Well, I like silly." You kissed his jaw, right over where the grays collected thickest.

"That you do." He stroked a hand down the back of your head. "I had a lot of dreams way back. Wanted to take a great big road trip along Route 66, just me and… Well. I wanted to take a roadtrip. See America, maybe go down to Mexico or up through Canada if I could. Sorta did, trekkin' from Boston to Seattle and back through the Cascades, damn."

"Did you go through Amarillo?"

"I did not."

"Oh," you looked down at the training knife, running your thumb over the deep gouges of letters he'd carved into the handle.

"Wanted to, though. Lotta museums out there, state park called Palo Duro. They had this… this crazy thing, called it Cadillac Ranch."

"Like the car?" you said, recognizing the name.

"One and the same. Someone, god knows who, they stuck about a dozen cars into the ground, looked like them carrots over there. Just like they sprouted up outta the ground, wheels and all."

"Why would they do that?!" you giggled.

"Artists, sweet thing. Sometimes that's the only answer you can give. Artists did that because artists did that."

"Like that stupid bean thing," you huffed.

"You've been to Chicago?" Joel said, his melancholy passing on.

"Few times, the QZ was pretty difficult to stay in but I had friends there. Then one day I didn't, and… suppose I took my own road trip after that."

He didn't offer any apologies, any condolences. You would've hit him for real if he had. But he knew the manners of the world, he knew the way things were.

"So I… after I… not too long ago, I started thinking of all the things I hadn't done. Places I never went, places that weren't really worth going to no more. Just dreams that I couldn't let go of without feeling…"

"Empty?" you supplied, knowing the feeling.

"Yeah…" he sighed, his hands twitching a little around you. "But one day, I was tryna fix up those shutters on the second floor. Kept fucking em up left and right,. I was too distracted by memories, by those dreams. I started letting myself focus on them instead of pushing them away, thought about the plans I had to go walk through Redwood National Forest in California. Go see where those little alien bears were, go see where… just to be there at the space between the mountains and the sea. I knew the dream was gone when I heard the news of Big Sur turnin' to ash. When I looked up again, the shutters were all fixed, better'n I think I coulda done it if I tried. At the end of it, I carved a little RNF in the corners, hung em up, they ain't failed me since."

"You put your dreams into em?" you said, looking up at him with a look you hoped he didn't misinterpret as pity or sympathy. It wasn't often he spoke this much.

He looked surprised, when you spoke. Like he had somehow forgotten he was speaking to someone. "I suppose so."

"And you were thinking about all those cars in the desert when you carved this?"

"I admit I was." He smiled at you, some sadness still darkening the lines about his eyes.

You thought quietly about what he said, and he seemed to think just as quietly on something else just as heavy and dark. You knew there was… something that had happened, right at the end of the outbreak. Some harrowing, bring-you-to-your-knees type event in his life that almost marked the very end of it. To hear of his dreams being carved into a million little headstones of the life he once had sparked a kind of alarm in your mind, something that told you with no proof, when the dreams run out, so will Joel.

"Can you promise me something, Joel?"

"Sweetheart, you know I can't—"

"It's not… it's nothing bad."

"I don't wanna promise what I can't keep."

"That's just it. Can you promise to keep… keep whatever dream you have of me, in you and not the things you fix and make? Please just keep holding onto it, whatever it is?" You didn't often express your nerves and dread and hopelessness over your fate being tied to that of the monster watching in the woods, but if Joel had to put his lost dreams to rest in things that could burn or rot, you wanted to rot with him, you wanted your memory to stay with him in his heart, not his hands.

You knew in that same innate way of the seriousness of his confessions that if he let your dreams and memory get drained into some carving, the next thing to get carved would be his neck. There was a very thin and fine line tethering him to this earth, fraying with every pass of a chisel or a knife.

Joel seemed to know that you knew his plan. His eyes shone with a mist he didn't dare let collect, blinking a few times and looking all over your face. He knew what you were asking. He was the only one who could know.

"Okay."

"Do you swear?"

Another time, another place, another girl asking him the same thing, Joel Miller would have lied.

"I swear."

"Okay."

#farmer joel #joel miller x reader #f!reader #unhingery #danktober 2022 #pedro pascal fanfiction

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