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pigeonwit · 9 months

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ok but like jack who loveeeess when hes under the weight of something, he sleeps with like four hundred stuffed animals weighted blankets are his jam, etc etc, and then davey comes along and just flat out sleeps on top of him 24/7. its a win for both of them. (sorry if this isn’t coherent im literally asleep)

(sneep i dont know if you're referencing the prompts list at all or if it was just deeply important to you that i know this but i'm writing about it anyways)

It's hard for Jack to keep his feet on the ground sometimes.

He can't quite put it into words. He's not really a words guy. It took him about a year and a half post-American-public-school-system to realize that he was actually smart enough to read books, let alone echo them. Colours, that's where Jack's mind lives. A big swirling sea of shapes and colours. Sometimes it's calm; the gentle blue strokes of a calm, well-rested morning; the occasional pops and starbursts of the New York streets - a baby babbling at their parents, a dog yipping excitedly, a song that's been stuck in Jack's head drifting out of the cracked window of a passing car - all painted in pretty pinks and bright, sunny yellows. He's nowhere near whimsical or delusional enough for the happy-go-lucky "where dreams are made of" view of NYC, the one that's been washed over in watery-pink with Gershwin plunking in the background - but he's not nihilistic enough to pretend it's nothing more than a tar-pit. There's plenty to love, to be inspired over, to leave happy little brushstrokes on his skin.

But sometimes - sometimes - he gets too swept up in it. All the movement, all the noise, all of it, it picks him up by the scruff and throws him, spins him around and kicks him right between the ribs, until he's drifting listlessly along the sidewalk like a scrap of paper, small and sensitive, marked by every fume of exhaust and drop of gutter-water.

It's the difference between being painted and being stained. That's the only way Jack can describe it. Paint, colours, it has a purpose to it. It presses into his skin and keeps him grounded to reality. A stain is just... Nothing. A tear, a black hole of graphite in his chest, sucking up all his being until there's nothing left.

He needs solidity, when he gets like this. He needs to be held in place until all that old, wasted paper is rubbed away, and he can grow into himself again, fresh and newly remade.

It starts with a pillow. His first night at Medda's - she gave him two instead of just one. He'd no idea what to do with it. He only needed one or else his head felt too high, and he didn't want to just chuck it on the floor or stuff it in his closet, Miss Medda might think he was rude, and he liked Miss Medda, he didn't want her to think he was a bad kid, she might get angry, might give him back... And then he was panting, trembling with every inch, tears stinging at his eyes as he tried to press his nails into his palm, hold himself together, but nothing was working, nothing was firm enough-

It was humiliating - as humiliating as everything else is for an eleven year old, but still, humiliating - to go to sleep that night, clutching a pillow to his chest as he squeezed with all his little might. But it pressed his lungs into the mattress, forced the air in and out, and the foam held tight against his sharp, scrabbling hands, not breaking, not pushing him away... It was just enough.

He almost would've been content with just that, hugging a pillow every now and then - but Medda and Siôn had this whole thing about 'making Jack understand his worth as a person', the nerve, and suddenly he was being given all he needed and more. A plushie, then two, then five. A throw pillow with Val Kilmer's face on it, because Siôn ("Just fucking call me Crutchie, dude, I won't break-") was just as much a cretin when he was a teenager than he is now. A weighted blanket for his birthday that redefined Jack's understanding of the word comfort.

And that could've been enough. It all could've been enough. Fuck, just a hug every couple of days would've been enough. It was certainly more than he'd earned.

He'd offhandedly said something along those lines to Davey - or "Library Guy" as he'd been referred to at the time, since Jack had only really met him three times in two weeks - who had calmly raised a finger, taken a long swig of his coffee, slammed his travel mug (reusable, of course, because Davey is the world's most irritatingly perfect saint) on his desk and given Jack a seventeen minute speech about humanity's relationship with validation through the lens of a capitalistic society - and all of a sudden, Jack wanted everything. Coffee. Dinner. Pet-names, hand-holding, lazy Sundays, teasing each other when they woke up and talking about bullshit until they fell asleep. And Davey gave him all of it without a second glance.

Jack was hesitant to ask, at first. They'd fallen asleep on the couch - they were supposed to be studying, but Davey had found out Jack had never watched any of the Lord of The Rings movies and had spent the entire evening pausing every five minutes to eagerly share his Silmarillion trivia (Jack still hasn't gotten him to admit it yet, but he's pretty sure he can pinpoint Davey falling in love with him to the moment Jack asked why Viggo Mortensen kicking a helmet was so funny to him) - and they'd inevitably fallen asleep on top of each other, with Jack flat on his back and Davey splayed over him like the world's sweetest, sleepiest octopus.

("You really know how to make a guy feel hot, y'know that?"

"Bold of you to assume octopuses are not hot. Tentacle porn exists for a reason, Dave."

"See, I want to be mad at you for bringing up tentacle porn at brunch, but I'm more offended that you called them octopuses and not octopi.")

It was nice, having Davey over him - which, yes, got him some eyebrow waggles when he first admitted it, but it really wasn't like that. It was the weight of it, the reassurance of Davey's warmth encompassing his own, knowing that Davey was here, and he was here, pressed down firmly to the ground and not going anywhere. The sensation of it - the firmness on his chest that makes him feel every breath and every beat of his pulse, that tells him he's here and he's fine - it's like his whole brain's been washed clean.

"Pressure stimming," is the word Davey uses about two months later, a short while after Jack had finally realized that they were actually, exclusively, undeniably boyfriends and not just 'friends who are kind of maybe dating if Davey wants that maybe'. He'd walked into his bedroom in his and Crutchie's apartment to find Davey already there, lying face down on the bed - and Jack might've left it be, because he's had plenty of days where he just needs to lie face-down for a whole hour, but Davey telling him that he physically couldn't get off the bed was the thing that sent him panicking.

"It's not a big deal..." Davey's forefinger flicks up-and-down, up-and-down against one of Jack's many pillows as he speaks, the way he does when he has just slightly too much nervous energy. "It's just something I need sometimes. The way my energy is, it's like everything I do starts weighing down on me - and sometimes I can just let that weight off every now and then, and I'm fine - but sometimes I just... Need something. To support me."

Jack nods slowly, thinking of pillows and plushies and weighted blankets, and hovers his hand over the small of Davey's back.

"You need something, like... On top?" He cringes, because there's no way for that to not sound like an innuendo, but Davey only snorts into the comforter and shakes his head against the soft fabric.

"You're perfect," he smiles, so earnest that it makes Jack's chest squeeze, "but - no. I don't really like that. Feels like I'm being restrained."

Jack frowns, adds that to the little drawer in his brain marked Davey - a drawer that is becoming so cluttered and full of tiny details and special memories that it's almost overflowing - and bites his lip.

"I could, um..." Slowly, like Jack might spook him, he lowers himself onto the the bed next to him, raising his brows in question. "If you want?"

Davey stares at him for a moment - and then it's as if all the tension in his body just bleeds out of him, as he makes wanton little grabby-hands in Jack's direction. Jack laughs quietly, grabs him gently by the shoulders and pulls, rolling them until he's flat on his back and Davey's spreadeagled on top of him - and they both sigh from somewhere deep in their bones as they lean and are leaned upon, pressing and being pressed against each other, two solid weights supporting each other in place.

"I like this," Jack murmurs into Davey's hair as they rest. Davey makes a quiet chuffing sound into his clavicle and wriggles slightly, like a cat kneading a pillow, pressing them both impossibly closer as he settles.

"Oh, yeah?" He says quietly. "You like having a big octopus on top of you?"

"My exact words were sweetest and sleepiest octopus." Jack teases, tugging lightly on one of Davey's curls. "C'mon, English Major, those're some important words, there."

"You're so weird," Davey mumbles, but Jack can feel his smile pressing through his shirt, all the way to his skin, through the muscle, until it prints like ink on his breastbone. It holds him there, keeps him perfectly still and secure - and Jack breathes like he's tasting the air for the first time.

"I love you," he says quietly, because it's the only way he can even think to put what he's feeling into words. Davey would know better than him on that. He could write sonnets about this, pages and pages of prose about how it feels just to hold someone - but Jack's not a words guy. Give him a few hours with a canvas, and maybe he can get down a fraction of what he's feeling now, the barest impression of the thousands upon thousands of colours dancing inside his head like grass in the wind. But for now, he'll just say "I love you", and hope that it's enough.

He can feel Davey's throat flex against his sternum, can feel the way his body tenses, then ebbs, like the pull of the tide.

"I love you, too," he whispers.

It's so much more than enough.

#this got SO fucking sappy towards the end #but yknow. love is stored in the stimming!#i have a few more asks queued up but they'll have to wait until after tomorrow cause. work.#alas we are all victims of capitalism #newsies #uksies #javid #javey #jack kelly #davey jacobs #david jacobs #pigeon scribbles #sneepsnoopboopideeboop

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wet-bread-owner · 10 months

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After my recent review on the different Turquoise October songs I decided that I wanted to make more reviews of different bands and their songs, but only the ones that contain Octolings or something similar, that's why I decided to review DJ Octavio's songs, I mean, they are mostly remixes but they are still good

DJ Octavio

Splatoon 1

I Am Octavio (1): To be honest as simple as this song sounds it's actually pretty nice, it's a nice opening to his fight and I think shows more about Octarian music as well, you can hear some similarities to Turquoise October, which I mean DJ Octavio is technically part of Turquoise October since he's their producer; the simplicity of this song is what makes it good In my opinion, and it shows more about DJ Octavio, apart from his in-game dialogue, overall good song

I Am Octavio (2): This is the worst one of the three, like, it's just really bad it doesn't sound that good, it serves as a good transition to the third phase tho so I think it does the job right, nothing much to say about this one

I Am Octavio (3): Ok this one is actually really good, there are some weird noises added that I like and what sounds like steam coming out of the Octobot king, the weird vocals it has sound funny but I think it depends on the context because if you are going against Octavio they sound more like, idk but it makes the battle feel intense I guess, now there's also the Turquoise October jingle, which I love because it connects Octavio with the Octarians and it sounds really good as well, I think this is the best Octavio original song

Inkopolis Memorial Mixtape: Nothing much of interest in this one, it's pretty nice sounding tho, I could hear some references in this song, I believe the live version is better (for obvious reasons lol)

DJ Octavio ft. Callie

Splatoon 2

Bomb Rush Blush (Dj Octavio ft. Callie): Honestly I really like this remix, I think Callie's remixed vocals with the different trumpets and other instruments used mixed really well, I love the fact that in one part Callie sings the Turquoise October jingle, again I say this a lot but it's something I absolutely love in songs; the song makes the fight better, it's kinda boring but with the song it makes it more frantic, Callie also does a funny dance if you look at the screens around the arena and I think that's cute lol, also going back to what I said about the Turquoise October jingle, I absolutely love when songs do that, like, referencing something from like, before the big finale and it being more like, cool sounding, idk how to describe it exactly but it fills me with so much joy, it's like, a tiny cheer to the player's morale like, showing something that has been with the player since the beginning and using it to motivate the player, and in terms of the story well I love that Octavio references that jingle because I read that it is also what makes octarians be more obedient (it's not mind control btw)

Tidal Rush (DJ Octavio ft. Callie vs Marie): Tidal Rush is really good, I like how Marie and Callie sing their songs and the different instruments and audios that are thrown through the song, it's really good, makes the fight feel harder than it is, which I think it's good, for me it means it adds that feeling of accomplishment when you beat it and I think that's great, I love that, and I also love to think of Octavio having to remix the song and also fight at the same time, which is pretty cool if you think about it, I feel Octavio doesn't get that much recognition for stuff like that

Inkopolis Memorial Mixtape Live: This is an amazing song, i love the fact that it opens with Turquoise October and other stuff about the story mode, and how Octavio can be heard during the song too, it feels like an open letter to the fans, especially splatband fans if I'm being honest, since most songs in here are from the splatbands and they also gave Paruko new vocals and I'm pretty sure they gave Mizole new vocals as well, which is so cool, I wonder if the two bands worked together with Octavio to make this song, I really can't describe how good this song is, and it's super long as well, like, 12 minutes or something like that, that's amazing I love long songs, I won't listen to it that often but it's definitely one of my favourites, I wonder if we will get something like this for splatoon 3, and I hope Octavio will do it; as I said I think this song feels like a combination of everything in splatoon 2 like, all the songs and other gameplay related stuff too, like a cute gift to the community, I haven't seen that many people talk about it tho

DJ Octavio

Splatoon 3

I Am Octavio F34RME Remix: As far as I know it's a remix of his boss theme from the first game, and honestly it's a really good one, I love the way it feels more, light(?) Idk if you could call it that, but it reflects how he doesn't have the power of the great zapfish, and he's battling with very little power, so the song feels more calm I guess, it's still pretty like, noisy and what not for his boss fight, I love the weird vocals it has and how it sounds kinda more clean than the original one, I don't know if I prefer this one or the one from the first game, it's really hard to choose

Calamari Inkantantion 3MIX: I'm pretty sure he worked on this one, at least the wiki says he did, but I saw many people say he didn't, either way I think that his work as a DJ in here Is amazing, I believe this is a good song to end his story, although sad if I'm being honest here, I wish he got more original songs or even more remixes like, one with deep cut or off the hook, but who knows, maybe we'll have a Splatsville Memorial Mixtape when splatoon 3 ends and he'll have his moment to shine once again, he deserves more recognition, and so do the octarians and their music

Goodbye!

And that's about it, that's my review on his songs, I'll definitely make a post about him later, he's one of my favourite characters in the game and I think he deserves to get more recognition, I'll be working on more octarian/octoling song reviews, so yeah, hope you guys enjoyed this post, cya now!!

#splatoon #dj octavio #old man yaoi lol 🐊

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peacekeeperangel · 8 months

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So I Got Bored and Made a Mermaid's Tale Soundtrack

I tend to do this when I wanna chew on stories (See all my original universe ideas) So I'm going to throw out all the songs I found on Youtube that I found works really well for the story/characters. Essentially future Music Videos I play in my brain. Save this entry I'm probably going to come back and edit/add to it as my Whims suit me- also feel free to add your own Fathoms Below : Little Mermaid OST Imagined for: General Overview of the Gem Mermaids/Tearcrown

Yeah this one was just a daily life overview. I mean what would be better right? (and I'm avoiding the 2023 Little Mermaid Nuts to that I haven't entertained Disney's balloney yet and I won't start now)

Amhrán Na Farraige- Song of the Sea Imagined For: Any serious talk with Almighty Sea Again just sort of noodling I genuinely have no clue for this one but it jived with the overall sea theme I had when chosing this playlist sometime it's just feelings you know? Davy Jones- as Performed by Anna Lapwood Imagined for: Black Pearl Cookie

Okay there's no Davy Jones Locker in the Cookie run Universe so my brain automatically keyed that Black Pearl Cookie is now EarthBread's "Davy Jones" your welcome. and specifically as played here because it adds a lot of Royal gravitas having anything played on an Organ and to be honest it just sounds cool and I wanna gush. Mine Mine Mine- Pocahantas OST Imagined for: Lord Oyster Cookie & Abalone Cookie This... Mildly pisses me off because I like watching @cosmicwhoreo's Blackaviar stuff and their OC version of Abalone gave me such Judge Claude Frollo feelings. But Now after listening to this I just... Canon Abalone Cookie is Governor Radcliffe and I don't know how to feel about this alright?! Ok Carrying on Crossing The Line- Tangled the Animated Series OST Imagined for: White Pearl Cookie & Frilled Jellyfish Cookie

;w; Frilled Jellyfish just wanted her to be happy uwwweehhh TT_TT Nothing Left to Lose- Tangled the Animated Series OST Imagined for: Lord Oyster Cookie & Black Pearl Cookie Yeah everyone picks this one, but it kind of fits in this case. low hanging fruit I do admit. Tour of the Kingdom-Little Mermaid OST Imagined for: Overview of the Creme Republic

This was a bit of a surprise but I figure if Tearcrown gets an overview so does the Republic. The Curse- The Longest Johns Imagined for: A Senior Lord Oyster Cookie I actually just found this and it sounds actually really good for a Lord Oyster going back in memory and realizing everything he did to screw things up. Maybe an older wiser Lord would be cursing himself? Maybe Abalone Cookie? Hmmm Akiisu's Music Box- One Piece OST Imagined for: White Pearl Cookie&Lord Oyster Cookie/ Any Quiet Moment Along with being one of my favourite songs in the One Piece Soundtrack it felt perfect for those sweet quiet moments before everything went so horribly wrong (There's another one I want to recomend but for the life of me I can't find the title sorry) Lullaby for a Princess- Ponyphonic Imagined For: Red Coral & Black Pearl Cookie Okay before y'all scream "EW BRONY!" Calm yer collective chest parts and listen to the song. a Sister lamenting the fall of her sibling into darkness with heavy themes regarding the moon? Sound Familiar? Never Love An Anchor- The Crane Wives Imagined For: Captain Caviar/Lord Oyster& Black Pearl Cookie Okay I ended seeing a picture referencing this song- @artforinfinity you are very smart and I'm sticking the song you referenced in the playlist. It works perfectly for every relationship BPC has with a land cookie and not just for Lord Oyster.

Wading In Deeper- Katzenjammer (WARNING: Song Referencing Un-Aliving proceed at your own risk!) Imagined for: Black Pearl Cookie Frilled Jellyfish Cookie/ the Mermaid Siblings Okay I like going a bit dark. I thought though this song is perfect for all those awful things that turned White Pearl Cookie into the hot tempered sea-queen she is today.

Good Grief there's a lot of Disney in here. Eeeh nothing to worry about I'd say. I think if I add more I'll just reblog at this point

#peacemusickeeper #black pearl cookie #abalone cookie #lord oyster cookie #playlists for stories

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the1975attheirverybest · 9 months

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Ok ok ok I want to know YOUR thoughts

But also I will say the ball bit and the giant backpack?? Something about it feels very Sisyphean to me especially with the it’s kinda of my daily iteration line

Ok this is probably pretentious but it’s 4 am and I’m having a red Bull so here we are. I think the music video is about the secondary meaning of the song. The primary/ main one is social commentary, right? About the vaccinistas and the tote bag chic baristas and about masculinity and all that. But the music video is about being “Part Of The Band.” Literally. cuz Matty is the only constantly. We first start out with him surrounded by children. Which is a metaphor for him and the boys’ relationship. Like when his adulthood and personal issues are getting him down, his friendship with the guys and their capacity to tap into that playfulness and innocent bond that they created from when they were children is what gets him through. Like the drawing on the car then becomes drawing on HIM. Kind of reminding him to let go and mess around. then the ostensibly Sisyphean reference except it’s a hall not a rock. AND the kids (the boys) help him carry it. To the point where he eventually dresses up and leads them through it (again, the work morphing into playfulness becoming the thing that saves him). then we see the actual boys 🥹 (Ross looks fuckin amazing with that cello btw. And not for nothing but John Waugh? Legend.) and he gets to be part of the actual band and they’re doing their thing. Which is playing music. then we get what I imagine to be future versions of themselves. The older men. But notice how quickly they also start playing with mud and stuff? Mud is often what we use to describe murky “muddy” situations. Difficult. Resistant. Sticky. But they turn it into playfulness. Again tapping into the uniqueness of their friendship, their band, the way that being part of the band has allowed them to preserve these parts of themselves even as they’ve gotten older. Suddenly, the boys and the younger and older versions of themselves are ALL part of the band. Meaning that all of these versions of themselves exist within the band and that’s the magic of it. And finally, Mayhem. 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹 he shows up just after Matty’s heavy burden (which I imagine is a literal image of the ‘I’ve not picked up that…’ line). Matty did get Mayhem shortly after his relapse and right as we went into Covid. So, I imagine hes referencing the way that THAT relationship has also saved him. Cuz you quickly see him take off the burdensome bag, and run around on the beach with the dog and lean on him and hug him. Not to get overly sentimental but as a dog owner myself….I get that. I thought I was saving my dog from a pretty shitty situation when I got him but he saves me every single fuckin day.

IN SHORT: I think the video is about him and the boy’s friendship and the way that it has been his way out of some truly difficult stages of his adult life. The way that their career and their bond allows him to hold onto the playfulness and mayhem (pun totally intended) not only necessary for being an artist but necessary for enduring some pretty shitty stuff. So, I think, he’s just reflecting on the privilege of getting to be part of the band.

*sips red Bull pretentiously*

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scoups4lyfe · 2 years

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Ok, so.

After I listened to Momoi and Sonoi's insert song I asked my friend Nacho to translate it. The minute they heard the title of the song, their immediate reaction was:

Obviously, I was confused asf LOL!

So they wrote an essay with the context of it all in the translation document, and I thought I should that with y'all <3.

Momoi & Sonoi's Insert Song, Title Meaning:

(This is just aa copy and paste of Nacho's essay in the translation doc:)

I’m sure this is a surprise to literally no one, but this song has strong romance-coding LOL! This is half irrelevant background and rambling, but I’m sure it will be of use to you guys when you consume other Japanese media in the future hahaha. Or at least it’s an interesting little tidbit to know.

So basically the first thing I thought of when I saw the title of this song is “tsuki ga kirei desu ne” which translates to “the moon is beautiful, isn’t it?” in English. Hard to explain but it’s kind of an urban legend/a common saying that this phrase is how Japanese people typically confess romantic feelings. I have no source for this, but I think it’s because 月 (tsuki/moon) sounds like 好き (suki/like). In other words, the “joke” is that Japanese people don’t talk straightforwardly, they have to say things by saying something else and alluding to the subject.

This saying or whatever is attributed to Natsume Souseki-sensei, an author (and literary professor) from the Meiji era (which was 1868-1912) who is pretty infamous in Japan. Up until 2004 his face was on the 1000 yen note. You guys will definitely see references to him in all kinds of Japanese media, he’s that kind of infamous where everybody knows him without really understanding his work—like Shakespeare (not important but Natsume-sensei loved Shakespeare and Milton). Most of the time in anime and video games and manga, if there’s a character that’s supposed to be or reference him, he’ll have a cat, or have cat powers, or be a cat, something something cat because one of his most famous books is I Am a Cat. It’s a satirical novel criticizing the mixture of Western culture with Japanese and to this day a lot of school kids have to read it for class in Japan.

Anyways, the relevant part is that he was fluent in English and completed his education in England. His field as a professor was British Literature but he also wrote haiku. Basically, he obviously had some skill in translation too. According to the story, Natsume-sensei was supervising or he overheard a student translating an English phrase: “I love you” into Japanese. Natsume-sensei thought it sounded extremely awkward and brutish to translate it so literally so he re-translated it to “the moon is beautiful, isn’t it?” which, he felt appreciated the nuances and sensibilities of Japanese. There’s other different versions of the story I think, but absolutely no evidence any of the versions actually happened. Very likely Natsume-sensei had nothing to do with this phrase LOL. Anyways that’s why I called it an urban legend/common saying.

All this to say that calling this song “Only the moon knows” is totally referencing that phrase. More like having Sonoi always talk about the moon in the show (I assume that’s what happens anyhow) is definitely meant to trigger the gaydar.

So this is a love song is what I’m really saying, though I’m preaching to the choir.

#well I knew it was a love song just based on the mv visuals LOL #but this is a whole other level of nonsense #I can't believe this #they really specifically planned the moon bit between Sonoi and Momoi #freaks #my thougts #avataro sentai donbrothers #donbrothers #donbrothers liveblog #before harvesting season #12 peach falls #who let delivery boy bring a parade float to a gun fight #sentaisouped #mj sonoi 😔🕺🕺🕺#momoi tarou #sonotaro

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whatgaviiformes · 2 years

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Chocolate and Hazel

Me: *holds up hands* Are you sure? I mean this isn’t really…

Virgil: Yes. Write it.

Me: Fellas, I adore you both, but maybe you should find someone who is actually *good* at this. I mean I- I’ve barely –

Everett: But you’re the one that created me!

Me: Yes. And you two are the ones that went off on a secret B plot without my influence.

Virgil: Is that all we are to you? A B-plot?

Me: No no, of course not. But guys, I don’t *do* romance stories.

Everett: *hands pen* You do now. Or I run over your muses with my tractor.

*****

Summary: “So,” Gordon’s eyes glinted in the warm firelight. “Are you gonna show him you can do more than a two-step?”

Genre: Romance

Characters: Virgil Tracy/Male OC, Gordon Tracy

Words: 1400 words.

Notes - this takes place at the end of the last chapter posted of TSOF, during the end of season bonfire, so certain events are referenced.

A/N: I don’t expect anyone to actually read this. I haven’t even gotten another set of eyes because this was the last thing I expected to write. There are plenty of wonderful OC partners for Virgil out there already, but as you can see the fellas twisted my arm, and here we are. If you do read, thank you, but please be kind. I mean it when I say romance = not my forte. This is slash M/M, but just people navigating love. Nothing explicit. While it takes place in the same AU as TSOF, it will not affect the events in that story. This one is Virgil’s and Ev’s.

Ugh.

OK, guess I am doing this. Here.

*****

“So,” Gordon’s eyes glinted in the warm firelight. “Are you gonna show him you can do more than a two-step?”

Virgil jumped in surprise, not expecting his brother to address him so abruptly, nor about that. Virgil cheeks flushed pink and his fingers hesitated on the strings of Gordon’s banjo, which he’d commandeered for educational purposes while Gordon went about roasting marshmallows.

“I’m not sure what you mean?”

“Virgil.” Gordon placed a hand on his shoulder. “It’s ok. Ev’s a good guy.”

Virgil’s finger twitched, causing him to hit one of the strings, which screeched and a scattering of eyes turned suddenly towards him at the discordant sound.

“Sorry!” It took a bit to rattle him. He’s had piano recitals before where the number of eyes had shaken his nerves, and he’d been forced to keep going and pretend like he hadn’t missed a key. It was a skill he honed, because performers don’t just stop in the middle of a concert. This embarrassment was worse.

“Sorry,” he said again, quieter, because perhaps his exclamation had brought him even more attention, as the pair of hazel eyes glancing up from across the fire hadn’t flicked up from the guitar in his lap until Virgil spoke.

Gordon was laughing beside him, a warm chuckle he’d missed for a long time.

“Shut it,” he whispered, the normal bite absent because this was Gordon, and Gordon had had a rough day. Nor had Virgil forgotten the heart monitor hiding beneath Gordon’s button up. It was set to vibrate his watch for any sign of irregularity.

“All I'm saying is you've been playing the tune of our grandparents' song for the past 15 minutes." Had he? Virgil quickly glanced around the partygoers to see if anyone had noticed, catching familiar farmers' hands continuing to play his guitar despite his sudden silence. A warm smile tossed in his direction, and Virgil flushed, looking down to the instrument instead of at Everett. Virgil could hear the smile in his brother’s eyes. "And you've been doing that all night."

"Gordon! Please."

"He's been playing it right back!" His brother casually pulled his marshmallow back from the warmth of the flame, tested it between his fingers for softness, then swung the long stick back towards the fire. "You both have been ping-ponging love melodies all night. Or were you not aware?"

"Oh, my god. Has anyone noticed?"

"He has,” Gordon cocked his head towards the direction of the staff member in question, and Virgil knew from the lack of guitar strumming in the air the chill up his neck was due to Everett approaching that very moment. Virgil closed his eyes and managed a nervous sigh. “You got this. Don’t be so- Everett! Excellent playing, my dude.”

“Thanks, Cap.” Everett ran a hand over the back of his neck. “Gordon,” he corrected, and Virgil was glad to hear it knowing his brother didn’t mind the nickname, but certainly felt more comfortable with his given name with his close friends. Which reminded him why he’d quelled his feelings in the first place: it had felt inconsiderate to his brother to want to be close to any of the people Gordon had adopted as his family when it was in large part Virgil’s fault that he’d felt the need to start anew in the first place.

Virgil knew now it was not the full story and the truth was a messy tangle of miscommunication. But its impact was monumental, and the time they’d lost he’d never forgive himself for. He was thankful, if he couldn’t be there, that at least Gordon had people like Everett to look out for him. Like Scraps and Jules to love him like family, and like Kai-san to protect him from the sea. He was even glad, though it had hurt at first to be excluded, that Gordon was obviously still under Scott and John’s wings, and with Alan in his corner. Or his clan online or whatever.

He glanced between them, blinking at Gordon once, twice, and taken aback by the blond’s grin and the candid happiness emanating from him. Beneath the earnestness of Gordon’s encouragement and the ribbing, Virgil heard his brother’s permission. And his approval. Not just for Everett’s pursuit of his brother, but for Virgil’s interest in Everett, and that felt worlds more powerful a message to know Gordon thought Virgil worthy of his friend.

“Can I borrow Virgil for a bit?” Everett asked softly.

In close proximity, the warm light brought out the golden hues within his hazel (made larger by the glasses that framed his face) and cast his skin in amber, before nuzzling deep into the blanket of his curls. Virgil had seen fire in every element – from the crackle of an inferno to the lingering embers of a dying blaze. He’s studied its forms, seen it wreak havoc, and despite the flame’s size, never before had he seen fire act as gentle as it was in its determination to set his world aglow.

“Yeah.” His voice went up an octave, which on Gordon would sound like a normal day, but for Virgil’s baritone it was a clear squeak.

Gordon snorted and waved a hand as if to say be my guest.

“Scotty! Come gossip with me!” he shouted, catching sight of their eldest brother among a cluster of guests nearby.

Virgil didn’t hang around to wait for Scott; his brother was masterful in the efficiencies in disengaging from a conversation, and he’d be with Gordon soon. Instead, Virgil focused on settling his heart back into a normal rhythm, ignoring the eyes on them as they sidestepped along a path around the back of the canopy towards the duckpond.

“You know he’s going to be gossiping about us, right?”

“Ugh,” he groaned, though he was pleased that it made Everett laugh.

The music became more distant as they strolled where the lantern light dimmed, the laughter and pounding of dancing feet diminishing into a low hum of activity. The water rippled peacefully along the edge, and they fell into whispers in the place where the mallards slept, some among the land in blankets of grass and others lulled by water’s weightlessness. Without discussing where they were headed, they made for one of the benches along the path, tucked beneath a large willow tree. In the daylight, the shade was welcomed, but with the evening’s wind rustling within the branches, the chill ran up his arms and neck, and he could almost pretend his trembling was actually from the cold.

Virgil sat neat the side with Everett sliding beside him, his entire form twisted towards Virgil with an arm swung along the backrest.

Suddenly, Virgil became hyper aware of their footwear, amused by the ridiculousness of his own dirty piano slip-ons and Everett’s giant green dinosaur slippers for the shoe contest that evening. Not what he imagined to be the most romantic of accessories for a moment he hadn’t let himself believe was actually a possibility.

“Can you look at me?” And Virgil felt Everett’s hand slide onto his shoulder to grab his attention. “I haven’t made this up, have I?”

Embarrassment flashed across the strong features of Everett’s face.

“No!” Virgil grabbed for his wrist. “No no, I’m just – uh – I hadn’t meant to – sorry.” He took a deep breath, “I’m just a little nervous.”

“Ah – I – yeah. Same. So we start slow.” He slipped his hand into Virgil’s. “Is this ok?”

Virgil nodded.

“Is this ok?” And he gently cupped the side of Virgil’s face with his other hand.

“Yeah,” he breathed, shuddering. “The next part is ok too.”

And Virgil leaned in towards him, while callused fingers slid back to twirl with the hair behind his ear and Everett pulled him close.

It wasn’t often that Virgil felt small, not with the bulk of his shoulders, but in Everett’s arms he was enveloped, as the man had him in height, if not in muscle mass too. Virgil’s head came to an easy rest on Everett’s shoulder as they walked hand-in-hand back towards the party, his mind buzzing, his lips aching, his heart soaring.

Distant music shifted into an audible slow ballad, one he didn’t need to know to feel the sentiment behind the soft strum.

“You know, Ev,” he said with a grin, spinning him around into a light sway in his arms. “I’m a pretty good dancer.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah.” His arm slipped down to his waist. “Can I show you?”

“In these?” He wiggled his slippers.

Virgil glanced down again at their feet where the large claws already were tapping at his ankles.

He beamed, “I can’t think of anything better.”

#Gavii Scribit #Virgil/Male OC #farming estate au #romance #thunderbirds are go

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lorenlily · 1 year

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hey, feb anon here

sorry for not messaging for a couple days, i meant to but kept being distracted and forgetting, sorry

yeah, i think that i might watch the new ant man movie cause i do like those ones, but overally marvel and disney+ just annoys me now, especially since everything i want to watch is on it and i don't have it (yes i may be slightly bitter, but no mind)

i really need to get round to watching the amazing spiderman movies, they seem really good.

oh i love the songs maisie has on the trying soundtrack, especially party and i want you to change. the list is also like one of the most comforting songs ever, i listen to it all the time when i'm feeling bad.

i think right now my favourite maisie song is details. i love the ones where she's just being really honest about not necessarily being in the right and being kinda mean and rude and abdigfahbab i just love the song

like yeah, i don't want to hear about the mixtapes, or the cigarettes she smokes, and i don't want to hear about the one time you met up in that park we'd always go, so i'll ignore her and she'll be really nice to me, and i know i'm being bitter and jealous and mean.

sorry i've gone on about maisie for too long now

OH WAIT, SHE ANNOUNCED THAT THE ALBUM NAME IS THE GOOD WITCH, AND SHE KEEPS USING TORNADO EMOJIS WHEN POSTING ABOUT THE ALBUM, SO I THINK THERE'S GONNA BE LOTS OF WIZARD OF OZ IMAGERY AND LYRICS AND YEAH I'M REALLY EXCITED

ok yeah, now i'm done with the chatter about maisie.

derry girls is amazing, i'm watching it as i'm writing this actually! if you haven't tried it yet then you really should, it's absolutely hilarious!!!!!

i have to get around to reading djats, it sounds really good.

ok, onto taylor. i appreciate the support for my top three, and it hurts my heart to see people hating on my beloved coney island and labyrinth. no taste, they have absoluteluy no taste.

i am most excited for speak now when it comes to rerecordings because it has some of her most intense songs, both lyrically and vocally, so hearing her grown up 33 year old voice when she's belting in haunted and dear john and mine and sparks fly is something i'm so excited for, not even to mention hearing a 33 year old taylor singing dear john and innocent and never grow up with 14 years to have spent looking back and growing up and learning. it'll just be amazing.

when it comes to vault tracks, funnily enough i think it's 1989. because we know now that she was struggling a lot with her mental health in that era, but she didn't really want to release songs about it or talk about it in the public eye like she does now, and the only song on that album that even gets close to adressing stuff like that is clean. but now, i think she will feel more comfortable talking about that and i think there will be a lot more emotionally intense songs, or just songs referencing those situations. like how in red tv we got things like nothing new and forever winter, that she never would have released in 2012.

also, by that time in her career she was a lot better about not having leaks occur, so we really have no clue about possible 1989 vault songs, unlike speak now or debut.

i haven't watched any of the movies or tv shows you said but i'll have to check some of them out. i'm really excited for maybe a trailer from pjo series as well though!!! i can't wait!!!!!! i think that you would write an amazing book!!!!!! but i get the whole not being able to actually get the ideas down on paper. i started writing a couple stories (ff) in 2021, and i haven't updated them since februrary of that year, which is slightly crazy, but yeah that's how long it's been.

omg, i just realized what day it is.

exactly two years ago yesterday, i was watching a gyoutube video where the woman making it went off on a tangent about how amazing and heartbreaking the song dear john was. i immediatly went and listened to the song, over and over, and then watched every reaction to that song on the internet. then i, over the next few months, listened to the entirety of taylor's discography. goddamn, i can't believe it's been two years, that's crazy.

good thing i did though, it's the reason i even know who you are and am sending this message.

anyways, wow that was a lot of rambling, i swear when i write these on a computer it just completely gets away from me and i end up writing a ridiculous amount

hey maybe you should try writing your stories in asks to your friends, i can vouch that it makes you write a ridiculous amount.

how are you doing today? and how was your valentines day? i hope it was good and i am sending you flowers and chocolates and little heart pillows and just general happiness.

so yeah, i hope all is good with you and this puts a smile on your face.

and hey, you are over halfway through februrary, and i am so incredibly proud of you <3

hiiiiiii

yep absolutely the amazing spiderman movies are my faves but prepare for a lot of tears in the second one (sorrry!)

i really love the list i just saw a video of her performing it when i was on tiktok and details omg i really love when songs are a little mean!! like high infidelity and skip that part by x ambassadors ft jensen mcrae (that one is really mean!)

the good witch is such a great name for an album and i really really really love the whole album cover for it! i'm very excited for it and the rest of the imagery and sound especially saying the songs sound like spells and hexes (ahhhh more mean songs pls!!)

coney island and labyrinth my beloveds <3 and omg i love how you found her through reaction videos there's so many now especially with more people listening to album tracks! dear john is still my favourite track 5 and until folklore/evermore and onwards, speak now has always had my favourite vocals from her albums and i can feel like speak now tv vocals could be so incredible especially her deeper tone on songs like last kiss and haunted and innocent and never grow up omg it's going to sound like an older sister singing it to you

i too am most excited for speak now tv (duh!) but 1989 has always had my favourite deluxe tracks so the vault i have high expectations and i didn't think about how it could have songs like forever winter (thats my favourite vault track rn) and i really hope sweeter than fiction gets a chance to be on 1989 tv (and safe and sound and eyes open get to be on speak now tv!!)

i hope you had a good day! did you take part in valentunes? that was really fun for me and how is it already mid feb??? that means you also got through it and i'm really happy you sent that first message <3

#i will definetly try writing more but rn im just on the struggle of getting a job #february anon <3 #what becomes of curious minds*

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hikari-ni-naritai · 1 year

Text

Yes I've done nothing but talk about dream theater all day but you gotta understand I spent 100 hours in my car today listening to them. Anyway everybody always says their album "the astonishing" is bad but I think it's good. Yes it's cheesy and yes it sounds like a prog musical more than a concept album and yes the bad guy is named lord nefarious BUT it's fucking. Good okay? It's a good album. What's the point of concept albums if not to be really really cheesy? It was also their last album that actually sounds like dream theater so it's very important to me. I saw them do it in concert and it was good. I will say it is weird that there is lore for the story that is necessary and referenced but is not explained in the songs. Maybe not the best of moves, narratively speaking. But it's fine it doesn't fucking matter itsa good music ok?

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nimue-hidden-lake · 9 days

Text

The MASSIVE Izuann Ramble

More like an analysis but details....

This is an essay about the two I once wrote in a server. I adjusted it a little to make it more suitable to be a a massive essay. This is a long one so sit back and read at your own leisure. I will also reference my own longfic a lot so if curious or wanting more context, I recommend reading it.

I will start by laying down the tropes Izuann follows + a bit of writing development (as in how I changed it before the longfic):

This is just an intro. Here are the relationship charts I made. Apologies for the outdated songs. If it isn't JPop I only know like 5 songs.

Tropes used:

Enemies To Lovers

Childhood Friends (but they have no idea until like later into the story)

So uh can you say it is also Friends To Lovers? Probably... Maybe... I let you be the judge of that.

So the childhood friends thing was only added after I decided to go beyond a Love/Hate dynamic and actually allow this relationship to develop. Originally I intended for those to go the 'I hate you but I also love you' route but you can imagine how terrible of an idea that is. Sure, it is fun writing them argue but that can't be where this stands. Or else one would ask "Why the hell are you two dating!?" I needed more. So I thought of a few more plot points to work on and based the first longfic around those points. This allowed the two to develop and actually get to a healthy relationship.

I debated what approach to take so I think I will just go with a chronological approach here. Meaning we are first going to childhood, some noteworthy stuff to know in between and then jump 10+ years into the future and get to the main story and thus how this dynamic even develops. Thus I will jump in between my own chapters. I am referencing this longfic here. It is fully written by me if you’re wondering.

Well, kind of. I must first introduce some basics for Nyeli aka Patch. Because he plays an important role throughout this, even in the context of the relationship. As for how a chibi cat-human hybrid exists... For now, don't worry about that. Just accept that he does.

So Nyeli's original name is Patch. Patch has been a name given by Izumi when he was a kid. He found Patch one day inside a cardboard box and took him home, thinking his Mom would not mind. Spoiler, she does. So much so that she made sure to put Patch back out as a stray during a trip overseas and lying to her son about his friend running away which leads to a misunderstanding between Patch and Izumi later down the line. Ann is the one finding Patch and taking him instead, naming him 'Nyeli' which is the new name he goes by.

One could say the name 'Patch' is symbolic- Him helping fix not just his own relationship with Izumi but also his with Ann. Because there is a massive one between the two. Though one could argue that it is subconscious. As for why the name Patch...

That was how he and Patch had met. The name choice was odd for a Japanese kid yet Izumi didn’t know what else to name him. It was a word he had heard in a kid’s show he had been watching at the time and he just loved the sound of it. It was a character’s name most likely and he loved it. Nothing classic Japanese, a unique name for his new friend. He didn’t know what it meant at the time and honestly, the kid had not even cared. Kids do not sweat details after all.

Ok now really with everything out of the way I am getting into the actual relationship... Yeah, long intro here as well but as an overview.

The two technically first meet when they are kids. Izumi's parents both had jobs overseas and took their kid with them of course. They allowed him to roam free for a while yet one could imagine that he has had a hard time due to the language barrier. In fact, he didn't even understand Ann when first meeting them.

That was in a literal sense of course. He had never any idea what she was telling him, not daring to speak after having introduced himself and her being unable to pronounce it. This resulted in her calling him ‘Izuzu’, having given up midway through to pronounce his name. And it became somewhat terrifying to speak when she started talking in this alien language. He didn’t understand her, at all, and didn’t dare to ask. Could he even? Would she understand him? It was like communicating with an alien, another species altogether.

[...]

As for how he met her… He didn’t know. She just walked up to him, greeted him and started to drag him into one game after the other without consent whatsoever. She just took him away and started introducing him to games, or so he assumed. At first he was debating if he should participate yet this girl made sure he stayed one way or another. And to make matters more complicated Patch wanted to stay as well, having fun with whatever the girl came up with.

Little Izumi tried to explain the consequences, what Mama might say if something happened to either of them yet the kitty had been too occupied with the game, being unable to reason with. So, it was two against one in the end and as a kid he let himself drag into whatever game the little girl came up with.

Simply put, it was a relationship what one would expect between kids - Just playing games and having fun. Well, even if it took a while for Izumi.

The three would play games together, whatever Ann came up with, even if it was dangerous. There the two would showcase their contrasts to another - Izumi was a hesitant kid due to not knowing what his mother will say (she will play a role here, I think you can already tell in what way).

‘Look at your hands! What if you infected yourself with some incurable disease!? Do you want to die!? That’s it! Up to your room! You will stay there! I will hire someone to look after you too!’

It would be something she would say and he hated to make Mama worry. She was just looking out, nothing more. So there was no need to make her worry whatsoever.

Ann was a carefree kid from the get go, not even caring if they scraped their knee or something. Heck, Ann may recall Izumi being a bit of a crybaby due to seeing him panic so often.

He had watched her eagerly up until when she suddenly tripped, face plastered onto the hard ground. Out of worry he got up, running over to her and shaking her for some time. At first the girl didn’t want to get up it seems, him almost tearing up as a result. Did she— She didn’t, right? No way! She can’t! She shouldn’t—

But he would hold those tears in when suddenly seeing her head lift up, a bump right in front of it. But instead of crying like he would have she was only laughing it off while rubbing it.

(from the oneshot Play Date, not in the main story)

One is overly careful, one might argue trapped, and the other is going through life without a care in the world. It is one reason why the two could not even recognize another, given that they had done 180s essentially. At least at first glance. But both got along just fine despite being unable to literally understand another. This continued until...

Those were the days Izumi looked back on, more fondly than he liked to admit. The time was short lived as one of his parents had spotted the two, seeing what ‘barbaric game’ he was playing with this girl before being dragged away. It was the last time he ever saw her, unable to tell her what happened. Not like he could talk to her or anything but at least try to say goodbye. Because the rest of the time he had been stuck at home, supervised by one of his parents with a fair scolding. He made them worry and while he believed to understand that they cared it always left a sour taste in his mouth.

Long story short Izumom saw the two, didn't like it and thus removed her son from there. All while also making sure to get rid of Patch as well while at it, having both out of the picture. I went with a headcanon that his parents are overly controlling and would keep their son almost on a leash as well as making decisions for him instead of asking him (it is at least hinted at in PORTRAIT, at least from the bits I read... Take it with a grain of salt as I have not read a fan translation yet). For now we focus on the Mom but know that the father is not innocent either. I had to explain how Izumi is described as 'kind' but then does shit like kidnapping or being overly controlling at points. Thus I went with the explanation that he just doesn't know any better as his mother normalized this behavior, doing it to him and thus aiming to make him dependent on her. This is important later down the line to know when summarizing the last big plotpoint.

How did that go on Ann's side? Well, not so well as later down the line they saw it as the first 'betrayal'. They are used to people disappearing out of their life, Izumi having turned into the norm. They didn't know his mother was behind this so they understood it as 'He is tried of me and doesn't want to play with me.' When Ann even looks back on everything, they notice that they were all alone anyway.

Back then… What was it all like back then? It was hard for Ann to pinpoint down. Ever since when little they would describe themselves as a ‘misfit’ in one way or another. Maybe as a kid they didn’t let it get to them is all. After all, life seemed easier at the early stages. Worry about the little things in life, focus on playing and just enjoy the time. It was how they lived in the end: Enjoy the moment. Nothing more, nothing less. It may be the inexperience and temporary ignorance, making them not think about such details. That’s why when still a little child, they could ignore these things altogether.

Sure, almost everyone looked at them weirdly and made fun of them, but back then they could just laugh it off. ‘ Haha, that’s funny~ ’ they would always tell the other kids when they were making a joke at little Ann’s expense… Solely because they did not understand the severity of their words. And it was unlikely that the other kids had understood. Besides, they were too busy being all over the place and playing all sorts of games. Pretend, catch, hide and seek, climbing trees, soccer, drawing nonsense on concrete with chalk— There was no time to think about it. They were having fun. But when thinking back, it was never in a set group like the other kids. They just bounced around,like some ball being thrown. And yet, they did not understand it. It might be because of their lack of understanding when it came to the world. They were so naive that they managed to live a life in ignorance. And maybe that would have been a life for the better.

They wouldn’t mind being alone then if it was just that. Not like there was anyone, really. Even as a kid, when they thought that they had found someone to play with for some time, the boy just vanished— Or rather Izumi vanished. Someone they noticed they had grown close to, at least a little. Sure, he was a bit of a crybaby and seemed to be overwhelmed with Ann at points— Heck, he barely talked (unaware at the time that he could not communicate with them in the same language) but they somehow managed to communicate something. So they had to be close, right? Or so this little, naive kid chose to believe at first.

It was a fun few weeks, sure, but one day he just stopped showing up. What did they think about it back then? Well, it felt like a blow in their face back then once having come to that realization. ‘ Did I scare him? Or was he just bored of me? Or did he never like me to begin with? ’ It hit harder than they would like to admit. They never wanted to admit it. Luckily other kids approached them shortly after and invited them over for a game of jump rope and they accepted. They thought it was forgotten ever since yet it was the first of many blows.

And it only got worse from there. The treatment they received from others back in the day when growing older led them into isolation. Friends came and went, them even being backstabbed despite being promised that they would never leave them. This led them to believe that no relationship, unless family, is eternal. This is also why they have a hard time communicating. The language barrier is an excuse rather than a thing (like they will be talking when under the influence but regular Ann is very hesitant bonding properly with others and for a long while would not call anyone their friend). They are scared to create meaningful bonds, believing they will be shoved aside anyway. And again, while Izumi is not the sole reason for it, he may as well have kickstarted this.

To finish off the childhood section I should note... "Ok how do none of the two notice they are the kids on the playground!?"

In Ann's case it is simple - They forgot for a good while and stopped bothering with it. And the face had slipped their mind until seeing it again.

As for Izumi... Well, the girl looked as follows:

And the girl, she didn’t look like one at all to begin with. At least not like one he usually saw around or what Mama had told him what a girl would be like. If it wasn’t for her voice little Izumi would think that she was a guy actually. Short, brown, messy hair, shorts, a shirt way too big for her and a pair of trainers. No dress, no accessories, not even make up. And she was not scared too from what he saw. She sometimes fell over and scraped her knee but laughed it off rather than crying over it. She loved climbing trees, playing ball or just running around and circles for the heck of it. No dolls, no stuffies. She even got herself dirty and she was never, ever bothered by it. She was odd, to say the least, yet he was jealous all the same.

And even in future he would describe 'the little girl' as the opposite of Ann - Lively, reckless, upbeat, ready to have fun and approach others. Heck, he even sometimes may have imagined what the girl turned out to be nowadays... Not imagining that this would be Ann at first glance (hint at a childhood crush? Maybe... Leave that up to interpretation here).

Ok, this covers just the childhood basics (I am almost an hour in holy-). Next I will move on to the development in the present. Because give it over a decade and the two would meet each other again... Without knowing it at first that is.

“S… Sorry… I…Here to…” They continued stuttering yet he interrupted them from one moment to the next, having raised his own voice: “Speak up, would you!? And how about you try to speak in full sentences! This is pathetic to listen to!”

Hearing this made them nearly grumble. Something rubbed them the wrong way. What the hell was this guy thinking? This was as bad as they heard so far. And it has not even been a minute! Oh great…

They felt one of their hands forming a fist yet they tried to not to let it get to them. Maybe it was just a… Terrible first impression.

“Uhm… I… Can’t talk… Much Japanese…” They responded, very slowly, trying to keep their composure the best way they possibly can.

At most they only got one of his eyebrows rising, him then scoffing: “Talk? Don’t you mean ‘speak’?” It wouldn’t be something they would usually take offense to but the way he said it, so mockingly… It made their blood boil, almost literally. Especially once he took a closer look, to say the least. He then added however: “Wait… You’re not from here, are you?”

“Yeah.” They nodded yet with somewhat visible annoyance. Yet he decided to ignore it or had not noticed.

“Ok fine, I won’t pick on your poor choice of words.”Oh how generous… “But quit the stuttering, will you? It’s annoying.”

Wha— Less stuttering? Less stuttering!? How!? They had to think about their words here! This guy is an inconsiderate shithead alright!? They made on attempt in hiding it at that point, being beyond furious at that point. “Ugh… If so, how about English?”

Though they would not even wait for an answer, adding: “Hah, no. Whatever. Picking up! You!”

“Huh? Picking me u—” He was about to repeat though would then come to a realization. “Hey, you’re that ‘Wolff’ person, aren’t you?”

They nodded, though somewhat forcefully. “Yeah. I’m Anja–Sophie Wolff. And I—”

“I didn’t ask for your name, did I?”

“Well… No, but—”

A sudden glare from the dimwit in front of them. “I’ve got a bone to pick with you then! Do you know how long I waited here!? Did you even try looking!?”

A grumble escaped their very own lips, more audible than before. They then glared back, massively annoyed. They are getting more and more pissed at this point. Not furious, pissed.

“If you wanna walk and sweat, please. I’ll drive with not you.”

They said it sharp and bluntly, not even resisting by then. No, he is not as bad as they said… He’s worse than they said! That Arschloch!

Needless to say, their 'welcome back' greeting ended in disaster. The two start arguing pretty much right away and do not hide that they hate each other's guts. For a while, them arguing is the norm whenever they come across another. Izumi finds a way to belittle Ann whenever he can (may it be their way of speaking, their clothes or 'not doing their job properly' (they are just pissing him off with the last one)) . Meanwhile they shoot insults at him and cannot stand how he is looking down at them, insulting them in his own way. They are just busy hating each other... Right?

“See what I mean? They’re totally got something going on.”

“I don’t know about that… Secchan is about to try something horrible on Ann–Chan…”

“No no no. You don’t understand! They’re so into it! They won’t notice us!”

A quick sigh from the soft sounding voice. “I mean… I guess the image would be funny. Hmm…”

[...]

“Haha, it’s all good. Are you done flirting now?” This employee then joked, only to be met with two sharp glares at once.

“We’re not flirting you idiot!” The model yelled in pure anger. What the hell was this guy’s deal? The two were clearly fighting over here! How can anyone even think this is flirting, let alone joke about it!?

[...]

“Uh… Just don’t kill each other while I’m gone…” Ritsu threw in, though still half asleep, making it impossible to tell if he was being serious or not.

“Oh, and don’t do that at work!” The employee of course had to say. “If you know what I mean~ Do it while we’re all go–”

“Shut up we won’t!” The two arguing said in perfect sync, the only thing they may agree on for their entire life.

Basically a listing of the oldest clichées in the book - Other characters pointing it out (as in "Yep, they're gonna bang") and even them talking in sync without noticing. Are they really hating each other or are they just saying that? Is it really that shallow or is there more going on? Well, ask Leo Tsukinaga! ... No, seriously...

And whenever they screamed Leo couldn’t help but grow curious. It was a few times he even got inspired and started scribbling, their voices serving as his background noise. It was insightful sometimes and some of his latest compositions were based on just them quarreling. Others might be annoyed but he finds it funny and it also makes him somewhat happy. In his eyes, Sena finally found someone who he can be on such open terms with. Even if the relationship is bad, being so honest with each other takes a lot. One might call it naivety but to Leo this was just common sense. If you butt heads so much, you had to be close! Only those close can be so open with one another. There was more going on than everyone would realize! It is simple logic in the composer’s point of view, a logic so flawed for many but to him it made somewhat sense. And besides, one of the employees does not seem to disagree with him either from what he heard! Maybe it was some kind of sixth sense at the time but the way the two argued was different from the tension building up between the members of Knights sometimes. It was such an honest clash of emotions, he couldn’t help but translate their screams and cries into notes, a piece of music, a memory of the moment. It helped him understand it all the better if he were completely honest and that is how he drew the following conclusions.

Basically and also with the things I established ahead... No, this is not a simple hatred. Things are more complicated yet they do not notice that at first. Some people might even argue that the two have something going on yet both get defensive about this. "I hate him/them!" basically and that is how things go for a good while. Though that is changing over time...

I will summarize the plot a little here: Long story short Nyeli is also there and Izumi acts as if he hates Nyeli, thinking it is for the better anyway. Ann at first believes it is Izumi being a shithead as always.

They think not much of it and when Ritsu makes an observation how conflicted Nyeli actually feels about Izumi, portraying him as a 'Black Knight' in his drawings, Ann dismisses it at first. For a while they are blind and prejudiced towards Izumi after all, thinking he is an asshole by default. They are also in disbelief when Sora tells them about 'Izumi's kind color' later on. How can he be kind!? A guy who does not hesitate to be just blunt with his words and talk down on others!? Who treats Nyeli like literal garbage!? They are confused about that, by a great deal.

What convinces them is essentially a nightmare, one could argue it was something they kind of started to pick up on yet didn't want to admit to. At first it manifested in their fear of loneliness. Add that others say that he isn't so bad they start to observe closer to see what others mean. They say nothing, just watch Izumi from time to time interacting with others. And while they are still convinced that he can be a bit annoying they start to slowly catch on.

Then again, it might only answer why the cat didn’t hate that jerk completely and portrayed him in one of the images. But that was it. They were not much closer to anything else… ‘ Taking pity on the lowest of the low ’, the line haunted them even now. It was all so weird, they didn’t get it. The more they dug up about Izumi, the more confusing of a person he became to them. An Arschloch , they would still not deny that. But at the same time he was… Also not one? Ugh, this was confusing. More than it should have been. It made their head hurt… It led to nothing.

Same goes to the issue with Nyeli, Ritsu having noted that Nyeli behaves very differently when it comes to Izumi as a whole - It's not exactly hate but Nyeli is shallow, almost empty even. He doesn't 'hate' Izumi, that much they learn to admit. The situation isn't that black and white in the end.

As for Izumi during all of this, he is still not fond of Ann.

When it comes to the definition of a brat, there was no one Izumi knew any better than Ann themselves. This little shit felt entitled to everything. Even the smallest thing. They dared to talk back, they dared to raise their voice, they dared to not listen to him. Then again, these would usually just be inconveniences at most and he wouldn't pay much attention to it. They are just a brat who’d need to be disciplined, yet he didn’t have the energy to do that. It was not his job to set them straight. And usually, it would stay just there. An inconvenience, an annoyance… But that’s about it. However, Izumi had taken note of everything happening to him whenever just around Ann. He knew the rage building up had slowly become personal.

At first he just saw them as a nuisance: A mess of a person who cannot do anything right. And he was ready to call them out on that. The way they dress is a mess, they may work a lot yet manage to mess up the fundamental basics (either by accident or on purpose, with him Izumi felt like it was completely on purpose at points) and them trying to speak was a slog to get through. Stuff which shouldn’t be anything personal to him, especially since Ann seems to try for the most part.

Yeah, nothing to add here. So imagine his annoyance when they try to approach Izumi directly about something regarding Nyeli... They literally chase him down the hall even, not allowing him to escape. In the end he is forced to talk to them regarding Nyeli.

“Fine.... You want to know what me and the cat’s deal is? I’ll tell you.” He responded, trying to stick with his annoyed act. “Will you stop pestering me if I tell you?”

When hearing his response they lifted their head up, a little in surprise. Yeah, he didn’t believe it either. He was listening to their request. Yet they nodded despite this sudden shock.

“And you keep your mouth shut while I’m talking. Ask questions afterwards. Did I make myself clear?”

So basically Izumi tells Ann about how he knew Nyeli and of his true name, Patch, and both stories do not add up. Nyeli looked more as if he was placed as a stray but Izumi claims the kitty ran away from home, insisting on it even. Having this not add up they decide to initiate that the two fix their misunderstanding by forcing them to sit down and bond... This goes horrible at first, who is surprised? NO ONE! Heck, even Izumi is not sure what to say and Nyeli is refusing at first as well. It isn't until having been suggested the 'get to know him again' approach that Izumi manages to break the ice and bond with Nyeli again, reaching a point where one can leave the two alone after a while. While the effort came from the two mainly Ann initiated it at least, allowing the two to bond again.

One issue resolved, another one approaching. Or rather two. This connection now leads to Izumi and Ann hanging out more as well, thanks to Nyeli. And maybe they start growing more fond of another yet none would admit it. Well, Ann says nothing, but Izumi...

"You've got time this Saturday, don't you? Of course you do! Meet me in front of this building at exactly 10 am! And not a second later! If you do, I will make sure that you won't hear the end of it! Be on time!"

Before Ann could even agree Izumi had just dashed right out of their office, feeling that his own face had to be the spitting image of embarrassment. What had he been saying just now? Why was he saying nonsense like that!? 'Meet me in front of this building at 10 am'!? What was he doing!? Inviting that klutz to a date!? No, that wasn't it! The idea would never cross his mind! Then again… What would he even do with them around? He didn't even give them a choice, nor a response. Would they even show up!?

Totally not liking them, not at all. Either way, it is during that time where he comes to some ugly truth again, by this conversation...

“You sounding like Mami— I mean my Mom.” Ann added, unimpressed by this argument yet he decided to ignore it… At first yet he turned back soon enough when hearing one word… He didn’t know but it had just caught his attention right then and there.

“What? Did your Mom pick the meals for you or something?” He asked, almost mocking though that was to mask his curiosity which was met with a sheepish grin.

“Uh… She can cook so… No complaints for meals, heh…”

“Are you serious? And you want to live alone. I can’t believe your parents made you do that…”

“Made?” They suddenly tilted their head all of a sudden, confused. “No one made me go.”

Hearing that made the male nearly drop onto the table, staring at them wide eyed. “No one… Made you go? Then why are you here?” This was news to him, almost unbelievable. Their mother did not choose for them? Was that even possible!? It sounded so… Surreal.

“Because I want to.” They responded quickly, plain and simple. “Well… Guess we’re here so may as well reveal stuff.”

“Wh… What are you—”

“I like Japan. And stuff from Japan! Want to see it so I went. Uni exchange programm stuff! Plus Germany can be stinky~”

Basically learning that they are doing this of their own choice. Why is this important? Well, as said before, keep in mind that I established that Izumi heavily depends on his mother and does more of what she tells him to, what he needs to be. So hearing that Ann gets a choice... It gets to him yet he has no idea why at first until he thinks about it... And when noticing that everything just comes crashing down on him and he is so confused that he cannot focus on anything. Knowing no one to turn to he picks Ann yet he himself isn't sure why, and just breaks down. He expects to be shooed away yet they do not do that. Instead they let him inside their home and both talk about what is going on.

Basically the idea is that Izumi is too confused to continue, wanting to reevaluate what he wants, not what his Mom told him to be. This leads to a temporary retirement from idol activities, 1-2 months, with the agreements with Knights. To catch a break from everything he even considers moving out of the dorms.

“Now what? Heading to Florenz?” They continued asking, somewhat curious and interested. He didn’t understand why, it was still somewhat irritating. But he didn’t hate it. Not anymore.

“It’s an option.” Izumi admitted with a sigh, though it didn’t sit completely right with him, oddly enough. “But the chance of me drowning myself in work there is high. And that’s not exactly the plan, is it?”

“Haha, yeah. Get it. I drown in work too.” They said, stating the absolute obvious. It only made his eyes roll.

“Oh no, I thought the papers on your desk were just for show.” He added with obvious sarcasm, making them nearly glare at him.

“Hey, not funny!”

“I wasn’t being funny.”

What this leads to is essentially him temporarily moving in with Ann after they offered.

“Then mine could do!” They suddenly suggested, sounding almost a little too eager for his liking. But he couldn’t comment on it, more surprised if anything to hear that of all things. He even looked at them, not hiding this thought whatsoever.

“Come again?”

“My place!” Ann repeated, sounding as if they just had a genius idea here. “Not minding at all!”

“Your… Place? That mess? You really expect me to—”

“You don’t have to!” They suddenly huffed with a pout. “Just trying to help. But search or the streets. Hmph!”

Basically the idea is to get a place where he could be away for a while and had no risk to get into too much work also plot but ssh. So the two start living together for a short while (have fun ina crowded one room apartment)

Happy e- No, no. So wrong. No happy end. Because this is where things boil down yet are also the turning point. Basically the childhood thing is found out there, Ann finding out by coincidence by throwing a box over and seeing a picture of Izumi as a kid... Then it all comes back to them and they drop his nickname, 'Izuzu'. And that is where he also notices... Ann is that 'little girl' he remembered.

Thus the first day is awkward, Ann giving Izumi the silent treatment. They insist that it's fine but it clearly isn't. He is somewhat overcome with guilt and tries to apologize yet they tell him not to, saying that this is what they are used to. No need to wo-

“That…” He finally began speaking yet again, them looking right at Izumi to see what his response would be. Ann didn’t expect much, even now, so his next words surprised them. “Sounds pathetic.”

It was as if he was verbally punching them right in the guts and it nearly made them furious… Though for different reasons, something they couldn’t exactly put into words. “Pathetic?”

“Oh you heard me right. So you’re saying that for whatever reason I don’t need to apologize? Because you’re used to this? Is that what I’m hearing?”

They nodded. “Yeah, it’s–”

“Are you serious!? Did I listen to some sorry loner all this time!?” He seemed upset, not an unusual sight for Ann. And yet, this time it had a different undertone, to say the least. “Then why bother with this all to begin with!? You make no sense… Unless you got some savior complex going on.”

[...]

“So, I assume that you need someone to push you around. And since you pushed me around to make up with Patch, I suppose I will push you around a little now!” He continued, determination somewhat written over his face. “So quit saying stuff like that! I’m not gonna leave you by yourself if I can help it!”

Yeah, he's not gonna listen to this. Ann is in disbelief, not believing their ears at that point. They first think that it's a lie but...

They can tell at the same time that it is not, if that makes sense. Or maybe they are hopeful at this moment. Not like he gives them a choice anyway...

“In fact, I guess we have some catching up to do. Are you free tomorrow?”

“Eh? Me!?” They repeated in shock. It has been years since they were asked that. Ok no, technically it was not too long ago, given Izumi dragged them out that one weekend but it didn’t change that this was a surprise. Being asked if they were free, just like that… Such a simple question shouldn’t make them want to jump up in joy or nearly break out crying but it was too much to handle. It has been a while since anyone asked this of them, anyone who is not family at least. And they were perhaps a little too happy hearing it. “Uni lectures in the morning but… Not a work day I—”

“Hah, guess something like that takes priority. So good enough. Now go to bed!” Izumi suddenly insisted. “The moment you get back here it’ll just be the two of us!”

“Wha— Hah!? Said who!?”

“I said so!” He countered with a sudden grin on his face. “Now hop to it. I don’t wanna drag you around in the afternoon.”

So for a while things become peaceful and not much is going on. Essentially it is all bonding primarily, either between the two or Izumi and Nyeli doing something together. Almost done, great.

First we need to get the confession out of the way... But honestly that boils down to the following - Knights notices that Izumi has grown closer to Ann and even talks about them differently, even seeing them as a 'woman' (the they/them he used before was to indicate that he didn't see them as much actually. She/Her is fine since this Ann doesn't correct anyone about pronouns, even if they themself refuse to identify). At first he tries to deny it but...

When thinking back on some things… Was there a chance? The two were kinda on dates before after all. And ever since seeing more of her, let alone living with her… Things go smoother. He kind of liked it actually, growing fond of her. At first he thought it was just because she was the little girl from years ago and it might play a factor. He would lie if he said it didn’t. But… Even before that… To some degree… Ugh, that’s a headache to think about. Did he seriously start to see her that way now? He wouldn’t know when, he just hated it that Naru–Chan’s outrageous claim could hold some weight. Ugh, not like these feelings would be returned though.

He cannot deny it. And Ann cannot escape it either. Nyeli asks them if they are in love with 'brothnya' (basically Izumi), they do not exactly answer the question. All they say is that 'there is no way that he will like me'. Then that random employee asks them as well.

That had his attention a little. It wasn’t a flatout ‘no’ after all. Hoho~ “Did you just say maybe?”

“Ah— That— Who knows, that’s all!”

“Maybe. So you’re considering it. Of course you are. You seem to actually enjoy being around Sena after all.”

“Never thought I’d see the day…”

“Oh, you should read up on your tropes then.”

“Life isn’t tropey!” She would argue either way. “Anything but tropey!”

“Hey, I’m just throwing it out there. You two just gave off the vibe you know.”

“How!?”

“I already said how. Anyway, anyway… Embrace it! Enjoy your existence as a couple! If none of the higher ups find out, you are in the clear~”

One of her eyelids seemed to twitch at the suggestion yet the redness did not disappear. “W… We… Not…”

“Haha, discuss it first. I’m sure you two will be juuust fine~”

“What—”

“Enough from me though. I have somewhere to be. Won’t be here for a while actually. So… Best of luck! Go get him girl!”

The conversations make the two think yet also say nothing for a few days to another... Until it escalates...

And thus they were silent yet again, finishing up their meals respectively before putting their bowls and chopsticks (or a fork in Ann’s case) down, first facing the table before both turned their heads up to face one another all of a sudden, staring at each other… Wait, she’s red too!? What is the meaning of that!? But old habits die hard because before they knew it they would start yelling at each other again, Ann starting.

“You brought it up!? Meaning!?”

“What do you mean ‘meaning’!? I’m not trying to say anything by that!”

“Then why say that!?”

“Because you’re silent all week!”

“You too! You wanna date suddenly!?”

“Hah!? D… Don’t be ridiculous! It’s nothing like that! I’m not desperate!” Despite being aware he was still denying it verbally… Great… “You point it out so what are you trying to say!? That you want to date me!?”

“Hah!? I… No! Not desperate!” Ann denied however, flushed red.

“Yeah right! Sounds like to me you fell for me you know!”

“Me!? You fell!” She countered, as if confident in that statement but also not really. It was rather odd, to say the least. and yet the indication was all too obvious.

“Hah! I won’t admit it if you don’t!”

“Ok fine! I may fell in love! With you!”

“There we go! Because I think so do I!”

It leads to a confession though and things become official! Happy e-

“Why hello there~ Are you my little Izumi’s roommate~?” The voice was an older one, feminine and sounding ever so sweet. Even after having not heard it clearly for a good few months he would never be able to forget this voice, given he had heard the one all his life. He couldn’t move, unable to say anything and the words wouldn’t leave him. Well, he wasn’t talking to anyone at the moment yet his throat felt dry, somewhat. He knew who this was, better than anyone…

“G… Good morning?” He heard Ann stutter, as if she was overwhelmed by this sudden entrance. Well, who wouldn’t be? It came out of literal nowhere! “Uhm.. By Izumi… Miss, you mean—”

“Hm? Oh right, you don’t know who I am. Silly me, I usually don’t bother with no names~” The woman responded, not stopping with her ever so sweet tone, despite her words. “You should’ve seen my face around already though, shouldn’t you? I was in every fashion magazine known to man~”

“I.. Uhm… Do not read—”

“Then start sweetie. How can you run around in some old rags like that~? No sense for fashion at all, haha~”

Yeah uh... I hope you still remember me mentioning Izumom... She's here, at the end. There's a point to this. Let me introduce you to her as the story puts it!

Sena Kimiko, a woman in her 40s at most. Even then, no one would probably suspect that to be the case at all. She looked very young for her age after all, a standard for the model industry. There was not a single wrinkle in her face and she never had any bags under them either. No scars nor beauty marks. Her face was never tarnished, it was as if she had been blessed with natural beauty. All combined with sparkling, dark blue eyes and long, wavy yet slightly thick silver hair. Her hair especially seemed flawless; no sign of bed hair nor any mess. It was always so clean, in tip top shape, healthy and shining.

Her body was also something else– A slim figure with a respectable waist and chest. Not too big yet not too small either. Her measurements were just right. Any outfit of her choice will be a perfect fit no matter what. Most would be jealous of it, even other models. She is desired in the industry, her pride lying in her modeling. She is the ideal doll and she is more than aware. She doesn’t shy away from it and makes sure to let everyone know. A woman who sees herself above everyone else, who made something out of herself and her natural beauty. She looks down on just about anyone yet feels like she has every right to do so. After all, she had already proven that she is superior to everyone else.

This is the type of woman Kimiko was and it might be an understatement to say that she fully embraced it. She never knew shame and never saw herself in the wrong. She usually knows better, especially when it comes to her own son. After all, if it were not for her, he would have never started making it as an idol and model. And she truly believes that her son is meant to become a legendary idol like she is… It was his path, wasn’t it? There was no other way, someone who inherited her beauty was always meant to show it off and become a perfect doll, just like she is!

Basically Kimiko has heard that her son is on a hiatus. As she is worried she figured out where he lives now and pays him a visit, just to see how he's doing. She is overbearing and goes to treat him like a little boy. Also she is not exactly holding her tongue either in regards to Ann. But she is just a worried Mo-

No, she ain't. She makes her intentions clear.

“But even then… Are you sure?”

Huh? “Sure of what Mama?” What was she—

“You see… Papa and Mama are worried sick about you Izumi. The last thing we expected from you was to go on a hiatus and disappear from the public eye.”

“Ah— I… I’m sorry for not telling you in advance! You two seem busy lately so—”

“No, it’s fine. Thank you for being so considerate. However, do you really want to stay with her?”

He only looked at his mother, shocked yet irritated. What is she—

“You can always come home, you know, even if only for a short while. After all, we will help you sort things out.”

“I…”

“After all… Mama and Papa know you better than some random, little, barbaric girl. We know what’s best for you.”

She also catches on that the two are dating and needless to say, Kimiko hates it. Yet of course she doesn't say it outright, not towards Izumi at first at least. But she is trying to rig something. And she shows up too much at that home, even uninvited.

And her reaction to Nyeli... Not too good.

Because the moment she had turned her eyes lost all of their life, oddly enough, and her pupils were as dead as they could be. It was all happening so fast, from one moment to the next, yet the next audible thing was a sudden scream from her lips, so loud that it made Nyeli curl his ears so he didn’t have to hear it and close his eyes, tearing up already. He even held them with his nubs, trying to keep them in place. It was probably unbearable for him, not even soft pats could get the cat to calm down.

It left all of them in a shock, Ann staring at the woman in utter disbelief, mouth gaping open. What was her deal now? What!? How!? Why!? This woman… The nerve…

“M… Mama!? What’s gotten into you!?” It was a little forced and stuttery but Izumi managed to ask it in the end, the question which had been in their mind right away. Would she answer it though? Of course not. At this very moment it was as if her own son did not exist, or was not present at the very least.

Instead she stomped over while dashing, getting as close as possible while eyeing Nyeli, even circling around somewhat. Kimiko’s head was moving around like an automatic door, swaying side to side in an unnatural motion. All while her face was devoid of any sort of emotion, her dark blue eyes lacking emotion especially. She didn’t quit it either, eyeing Nyeli as if Ann had been holding a tiny monster in their hands, a creature of some sorts. It took minutes before she backed off, though still looking down at the cat with her gaze. “The brute? What is that doing here?” She asked, no shame, hesitation nor emotion. She was cold, very cold, and direct. No sugarcoating it whatsoever… Brute? Brute!? Did she just call Nyeli a brute!?

Kimiko is basically feeling threatened that she is losing control here, something she makes very obvious. And while Izumi is in denial Ann shows that they despise this woman down to the core.

Their conversation alone together with Kimiko even leads to this line:

“Wenn du mich fragst… Schlampen sollten ihren Mund zum Schwanzlutschen benutzen und ihre Schnauze halten. Mach dich nützlich. Du siehst zumindest so aus, als ob dich Männer ficken wollen.”

Basically Ann calls Kimiko a slut who only has a mouth good for sucking dick and she is only useful for being fucked by guys. Yeah, this is meant to be very vulgar.

The consequences come down and Kimiko is actually close to taking Izumi with her, no questions asked. Though that does not happen because by then Izumi starts to finally realize what his mother is trying, what she wants to push him into. Not to mention that he learns that Nyeli disappearing was her fault and no one else's. This is just a short summary because the conflict is longer but read the longfic I save you that much trouble. What you have to know is that he stands up to his mother and throws her out himself, deciding to no longer listen to her.

Sometime after that Izumi resumes his idol activities yet also secretly dating Ann... 'Secretly' as Knights know too, the bunch caught on asap, yet they keep it a secret in public as well of course. But they are nosy... Arashi especially, she is having a field day here.

Why did I just go through the longfic, somewhat? Because it is essentially the get together story as well as the foundation of everything following up I write with them now. Basically I wanted to outline shortly how these two go from hating each other to being a thing. And I think knowing the entire story adds to how they got where they are now, how it all had gone down. Of course the story covers more than the simple romance but it plays a factor here. I wanted to outline the time where the hatred starts to change and how the two are so close.

With that analysis done... I have more thoughts! Yes, still not done, but close. This is literally just the longfic’s plot.

So, what is next and some other stuff I think about a lot / will write out in near future…

So firstly, of course the constant lingering fear for a while. Sure, the two overcame quite a bit but here's the deal... That doesn't mean that they are free from worries.

Izumi has to constantly worry that his mother just shows up, especially now. Also him having a hint of insecurity maybe, given how he and Ann started out that it is not enough and he could lose them in turn (I wrote a Hanahaki oneshot for a reason, outlining the fear that maybe he doesn't love them or something like that). He doesn't show it a lot of course, not wanting to come off as weak.

Ann themself is constantly in a battle as well, never seeing themself as good enough. Their fear of being left like that is there for some time, either for being a nuisance or for someone better. They believe that they cannot find a reason for him to stay; he will leave eventually.

This leads into a plotpoint for Part II (yes there will be a second longfic... I am insane, I know) where Ann tries to exhaust themself to the bone to write a movie script themself, even driving insane from it. They want to 'prove their worth'.

"I… I was scared… That you would… Leave me if I… I failed and… I can't do much else so I… I…"

"Stop with that. No, seriously, stop. So what if you can't write that script?"

"A… Am I tha–"

"Let me finish! Because I am happy for you to get this chance and show your skills off. But here's the thing… You're more than your writing, alright? You've already proven that. And those guys who take it at face value? Screw them. Those who really care will see you for you, no matter who. So even if you hadn't gotten this chance, we would not be disappointed. And by we I mean your parents, Patch, that guy you call your 'brother', Kuma–Kun, the rest of Knights and… Me too. So stop putting yourself down like that, will you?"

They are told that this is bs of course and they are more than a script.

They sure still got some things to work through of course!

Enough about insecurities!

As for some more fun stuff, or rather calmer... More light hearted stuff to keep in mind or I shall list

Bickering is still here and there of course. Nothing changing there, yet they no longer insult another

Nagging is not uncommon though. Ann is not known for healthy habits so Izumi sure nags a lot there, having to force them to be healthier sometimes. He will also scold them should he catch them up at midnight when in Florenz. Oh yes, he is phoning them up just to yell "GET THE FUCK TO BED!"

They fluster at each other. Ann is a little clingy and touchy (mostly wholesome, though depending on the mood it can be a little more than that), catching Izumi off guard. He sometimes even tries to resist their begging for a hug or other things, solely to not 'spoil them'. He's just embarrassed yet cracks eventually. Of course this is in private, sometimes within the office as well, yet in public it doesn't go too far. As for how he catches them off guard... When he suddenly puts on the charm he literally makes them unable to function, sometimes even running with a beet red face because it is too much for them to handle. No, really, their brain just stops working altogether.

Secret relationship because of what would happen if fans found out an idol is dating someone, that they are unavailable. Some people find out yet keep it a secret as well.

Who is more jealous? Uh... Hard to say, I think it is more circumstantial, maybe even who it is.

A world is shattered when Izumi hears Ann is a fan of Jun Sazanami... I jest not really after they explain that they just like his performance as an idol, being a fan of his like they would be for a musician (if that makes sense) yet it sure led to an interesting conversation.

And that is all! For now. Izuann has necome a bigger beast than anticipated and yeah, I might enjoy the two way too much from a writing perspective. Even if I do not show it lately but I think a longfic of 80k+ words is all the proof needed. And a second one is in the works (currently at the roadmap).

I hope this was fun to read through! Even if it was more of an analysis than a ramble...

0 notes

mylittlesecrethaven · 3 months

Text

Bsd Is Kinda A Genius Anime: Pt 2

Ok, Ima do the Port Mafia for this go around.

Hopefully it won't take as long as last time.

And hopefully I remember how I formatted the last post.

So... let's go.

(Oh fuck there's even more people than the ADA....)

Ogai Mori

Ability: Vita Sexualis

Ok, fun thing I found out, this guy's RLC's (real life counterpart) real name is Rintaro Mori, which is what we hear Elise call Ogai, so maybe that's his real name? Ehhh.... let's see.... his RLC was also a doctor... and the book he wrote "Vita Sexualis," follows the main character's sexual experiences through life. So... that's something. Idk how that pairs into Elise besides Mori's borderline obsession with dressing her up with a doll, but we're gonna keep on rolling cause I wanna finish this in good time. Ok.... it says he was never a pedophile, but he also wrote a book about an adult man who's love interest is a 16 or 17 year old girl named Elise. So, that's fun. Also, while the RLC joined the military and then became a surgeon, Mori's got it backwards, where he was a doctor, then went into the Mafia. (Which I do wonder why he did that.)

Ace

Ability: Madness of the Jewel King

There's nothing actually confirmed for this guy, but it is widely thought that his character is based off of Alan Bennett's play, "The Madness of George III." I was actually able to find more about "The Madness of King George," which is a play based off "The Madness of George III," but basically, it's a "fictionalized biographical study" of the later part of King George III's reign. I couldn't really find much else, and I don't really see how that ties into Ace, (I'm not caught up on my England history, sorry), so Ima just move on. He dies pretty quick anyway, and he was an asshole, so I'm not too upset.

Chuya Nakahara

Ability: Upon the Tainted Sorrow

I had to do a deeper dive into this poem, so this post is already taking a lot longer than I'd like, but it's fine. Oh damn, this shit is sad. Ima put a link to a Reddit post explaining it better here, but basically, it's a rather sad poem about depression and recognizing the depression, but not being able or not wanting to do anything about it. Maybe it has a connection to Chuya being betrayed by the Sheep? Seems like a stretch. Maybe about how he doesn't remember any of his early life because he kinda just came into being after Rando did what he did? Idk. It's not really enough for me to figure anything out. Let's see.... the little chant he does before he activates Corruption? That's a part of a poem his RLC wrote called "Sheep Song", which that definitely does have a connection with the Sheep.

Koyo Ozaki

Ability: Golden Demon

Koyo's RLC is actually a man, just like Kyoka's RLC. Actually, Koyoka's RLC was a pupil of Koyo's RLC, so that's fun. "The Golden Demon" is actually a really sad book as well. Basically, the main character falls in love with the daughter of a man who he owes money to. They get engaged, but her dad breaks it off so she can marry a wealthy man instead. The main character then falls into despair, abandons his studies, and declared he has ceased to be human. (Dazai?) Em.... I can kinda see the connection? I mean, Koyo didn't want Kyoka to be tainted by the light, which could be a connection to not being tainted by money? A stretch, but maybe.

(I'm not doing Paul Verlaine cause he's not in the anime yet and he's basically a copy of Chuya from what I've read, so fuck him)

(Also, for clarification, I'm only doing characters with abilities. Sorry)

Rando (Arthur Rimbaud, whatever)

Ability: Illuminations

So, this guy has a little bit to talk about, so if this jumps around a lot, it's cause I'm trying to cover a lot of shit. Ok. Let's go. His RLC is from France. His RLC and Paul Verlaine's RLC had a slight romantic relationship, but (Paul) was abusive, and Rando's RLC was shot by Verlaine's RLC, which is referenced in Rando being shot by Verlaine before the explosion. After Rando's RLC wrote "Illuminations," he quit being a writer. Chuya's and Verlaine's RLC were both inspired by Rando's RLC. "Illuminations" is actually a giant book of a bunch of different poems, and because of that fact, I'm not going through every single on and analyzing them because there's a ton of them. So.... not finding a connection that way I guess. Sorry.

Ryunosuke Akutagawa

Ability: Rashomon

Apparently, Akutagawa's RLC actually killed himself at 35, and he has a literary prize names after himself. So.... highs and lows. The gist of "Rashomon" is that it's about a man struggling with the temptation to steal food to survive. Much like what Akutagawa probably had to do before he joined the Port Mafia. Also probably why Rashomon is always seen as a creature with a mouth, and why Akutagawa always says it's always hungry. Akutagawa was given a villain role not just because of his character, but also because his RLC wrote a lot about criminals. Also, the relationship between Akutagawa's and Dazai's RLCs are switched, where Dazai's RLC was influenced greatly by Akutagawa's RLC, including Akutagawa's RLC's suicide. Ehh.... let's seeee..... The reason Rashomon comes from his clothes is because in the beginning of "Rashomon," the main character steals clothes from an old lady.

Ichiyo Higuchi

Ability: N/A

So... we don't actually know Higuchi's ability, but there is a book her RLC wrote called "Growing Pains," and it's actually kinda interesting? I'm not gonna summarize it, but you can read the plot from the Wiki here. However, I will talk about it. I've got two ideas from this. Either Akutagawa is supposed to represent Nobu, and it's the opposite, where Higuchi is drawn into the Port Mafia, or he doesn't and Higuchi was pushed into the mafia. Idk. There's not much else I can talk about on her, since the Fandom's kinda empty and the only thing I have to work with is the Wiki.

(I actually did go to sleep after this part, so if the formatting or the way I type of different, that's why.)

Ryuro Hirotsu

Ability: Falling Camellia

This guy and his RLC kinda fit well together? Hirotsu is a fighter, but he also seems like he could be one of those diplomatic guys in the government, and his RLC was actually a diplomat. (I think I'm pulling comparisons out of my ass on that though.) I couldn't actually find anything about a book or poem titled "Falling Camellia," but the Fandom says there is one.... So.... Idk. (It also says it's a really tragic novel) He did write a book titled "Black Lizard," and it's inspired by a character from one of Ranpo's RLC's books. And lemme just say, Hirtosu's RLC's "Black Lizard" is kinda insane. Basically, this woman has black blotches on her face, and it's probably more important in the actual novel, but not here. She marries this man who has had 6 other wives that left him because his father made advances on him. She has a kid with the dude, then the dude's father makes an advance on her and she poisons him to protect her child, then she throws herself into a well to commit suicide. Sooo.... yeah.... I think the Black Lizard only took the name.... Also, Hirotsu's RLC has a book titled "Imado Shinjyuu", which is technically translated to "Double Suicide at Imado," but the literal translation (which I got from Google Translate, so it's not exactly correct,) is "Next Time I'll Commit Suicide." A lot about "Black Lizard" and nothing about "Falling Camellia." Fun. Also, one other fun fact, that painting Hirotsu and Dazai sit in front of at the end of season 2? A real painting called "Landscape," which was actually made by Dazai's RLC. Isn't that fucking cool?

Michizo Tachihara

Ability: Midwinter Memento

(I'm aware this guy is a spy for some other group, but idk which group, so pls no spoilers. YouTube's already done enough.) Emmm... let's see... there's not really a lot for this guy, which is sad, cause I really like this character. (Also, mini fun fact, him and Karl have the same English va) The only important thing I can find is that his RLC's name isn't actually Michizo Tachihara, and that's just his artist/pen name. Which could tie into the whole spy thing? But tons of the other characters RLC's had different names, so I'm not gonna use that as an actual comparison. Um.... I couldn't find any summaries or analysis of "Midwinter Memento," and figuring out poems never was my strong suit, so I'm just gonna share the link from a Reddit post here, and y'all can try to figure it out I guess.

Kyusaku Yumeno

Ability: Dogra Magra

(Also, Q's gender is unknown, but if I mess up on pronouns, lemme know cause I do that sometimes, but for this post I'm just gonna use they/them and assume Q is non-binary cause.... yeah.) Q's RLC is actually a dude who used to work in a theatre that mainly focused on plays about supernatural events and gods. He later became an author, and actually got the pen name Kyusaku Yumeno from a description his father gave one of his stories. Dogra Magra is about a character that wakes up in a hospital with Amnesia, but soon comes to realize he was a part of an extremely horrific experiment done by a psychiatrist. You can definitely tell that Q got their ability for a reason. (Although, I do wonder if this means that maybe Q was experimented on?) Also, Q's RLC was greatly influenced by Lovecraft's RLC, so that's cool.

Motojiro Kajii

Ability: Lemonade

And now we get to this freak. I will say, his connection with his RLC and his RLC's book is so freakishly strong. Basically, his RLC had tuberculosis, and he wrote about his illness through a character in a book of short stories called "Lemon." In the same book, there's a story also called "Lemon" about the character going to a fruit shop and buying a lemon, then going to his favorite stationary shop and imagining the lemon is a time bomb. This has got to be the biggest connection between any character and their RLC I've seen so far. Holy shit, it's almost a carbon fucking copy. His RLC was sick, and that's why Mr. Lemon Bomber is so obsessed with death.

Sakunosuke Oda

Ability: Flawless

Oda, I'll make sure to make your part good. (I hope.) Oh.... wow.... there's not actually much about him... welp.... uh... His RLC, Dazai's RLC, and Ango's RLC were all actually kinda friends that hung out a bit, so that's something? "Flawless" is not really a connection piece? It's about a woman who marries a man through a matchmaker and she just can't stop complaining about him flawlessly. Eh.... let's see.... the book Oda is reading in the anime is thought to be "Kokoro," by Soseki Natsume. It's also not a really big connection. It's a three part story that's a part of a four book series (???), and it's basically about a young man and this older man, his sensei (kinda), interacting, and his sensei knows a secret about the young man's friend's death, and the third part is the sensei confessing this secret I guess.

IT'S FINALLY DONE!

HOLY SHIT THAT TOOK ME TWO DAYS!

AND ODA'S WAS NOWHERE NEAR AS GOOD AS I WANTED IT TO BE!

Anyway,

Next I'll be doing the Gifted Special Operations Division and The Guild, cause those two groups are kinda small, and then for the last one I'll do the Decay of Angels. (And I guess whatever group Tachihara's a part of, since he's apparently a spy.) (NO SPOILERS PLEASE)

(Ah fuck. This is from later. I'm going around a lot of these posts because I completely forgot about the fact that the Rats in the House of the Dead existed. Sooo.... I guess Ima do that group, too. There's also this The Seven Traitors group according to the Fandom? But they only have one member so I'm not gonna do it. I know that a lot of the other characters are also based off of real life people (I saw the Frankenstein people), but I'm only doing ability users. Sorry.)

#bungo stray dogs #bsd #anime

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vitaminwaterreviews · 4 months

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Agust D - Agust D

I haven’t done a proper hip hop album yet, so this was a cool experience. It’s obviously intended to be more lyrical than melodic overall, and learning about the background of the album feels kind of essential to understand what’s going on. So, if you’re gonna listen to this album, definitely check out the Wikipedia page first.

I think I liked the experience. I certainly enjoyed a lot of the songs, and I like the picture that the album as a whole painted. I’m not convinced by the musicality of it; I don’t think I’ll end up listening to most of these songs ever, I really had to pay attention to the lyrics to appreciate them. But a couple of them were enough that I’ll be able to enjoy them without the lyrics. Plus the last song was actually SO good. Overall rating of 7.9 but… I would kind of take that with a grain of salt. I’ve never listened to another album quite like this, so I have nothing to compare that score to, really. I think a rating of 7.5 would be more appropriate.

- So, funny story here. I never intended to listen to anything Agust D, ever. But then earlier this year, for like two weeks straight, D-Day was everywhere I looked. It was all over kpop reddit and it was all over kpop youtube and so when it finally came out, the Haegeum MV was recommended to me literally everywhere. And so I caved and watched it, and I liked it enough to listen to the album. So I saved some songs from D-Day, and that was all. Then yesterday I was like “I should check out his other titles,” so I watched Agust D and Daechwita, and I loved them. So now I’m gonna go through their respective albums and see what I can see!

Also holy shit I just opened up Reddit and the first post on my reddit is “What is being said in the beginning of Agust D?” from 8 minutes ago. If that isn’t a sign then idk what is lmao

Intro : DT sugA

Haha yep, here we go

E N E R G Y

The repetition of “STD” is funny. Like, is he aware of what STD means in english? Surely. But also it’s a pun, he’s Suga from TD. So he is STD, and also Agust D. Wordplay!

Also maybe I should watch lyric videos for these songs, considering it’s mostly rap…

8/10, I do tend to rate intros and interludes highly

Agust D

The MV is so cool. Like, it’s not just trying to be cool: it IS cool

He’s actually such a good rapper. Like I just love the way that words sound when they come out of his mouth

Lyrically, it’s kind of what you’d expect. “I’m great and you’re dumb, fuck all the haters, I’m a real rapper and way better than you too”

8/10. Very good, fun, but I want a bit more from it

give it to me

Woahhh the bell

Also this bass

Also this beat

I love the laugh

(I’ll probably be typing a Lot less because I’m spending more time looking at the lyrics)

7/10

Skit

Oh lol is this literally a skit?

Omg it is that’s so funny

Bro two orders of ribs? Oh I guess if it’s for both of you

Omg he’s totally breaking the 4th wall

“Yankie hyunh” lmao

Okay wait, do I even rate this? I guess I should

9/10, really really cool inclusion, fits the theme of the album well.

724148

Bassy, alright

He keeps referencing bang si hyuk, that’s neat

So far this album seems to be more lyrical than anything, but I’m not totally convinced by the musicality of it. Maybe I’d rate it higher if it was in English, but also, I know what he can do. He’s got more levels to go from this.

7/10

140503 at dawn

Lol he’s moaning like

Oh he’s typing

Lol

7/10

The Last

Do you hear that bass drum?

We do appreciate rapping about mental health issues

9/10

Tony Montana (feat. Yankie)

Ohh it’s Jimin? That’s neat

It’s snowing outside! Pretty

Interesting soundscape

Who tf is Tony Montana then?

“A fictional character and the villain-protagonist of the 1983 film Scarface”

“Embodying the possibility of a person rising from the bottom of society to the top, Tony Montana has become a cultural icon, as well as one of the most iconic film characters of all time.”

6/10 tbh. It’s FIne but definitely my least favorite so far

Interlude : Dream, Reality

Ok, a bit more mellow now are we?

8/10, solid interlude, fit the album, and a nice break from all the intensity

so far away (feat. SURAN)

Oh, we’re ending mellow too

Nvm, we’re ending powerful

Love the guitar solo too

I really don’t know whether to rate this a 9 or a 10. It was so so good. And I genuinely can’t think of anything it could’ve done better, so…

10/10

#album #kpop #hip hop #Agust D #Suga

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615669165 · 9 months

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Nono

Why are people so mean to Jehovah's Witness believers when they come to their door?

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hueningshaped · 2 years

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only saw the first sentence and immediately had to put my phone down and squeal . are you proud of yourself😐 (no bc 😢🥺😣😔 you are just so ??/!/!/! i adore you so much😞) my love knows no obstacles, your bangs are not stopping anything😼😌 NOOO that's literally my worst fear💔 i always write my asks in the notes app for that exact reason, i do not trust tumblr to take care of my 23k word love letters for you🤨 and i can't believe you rewrote a reply that quickly after spending so much time on the other one :(( actually i tried to but i do not know how to slide into your dms. i'm very awkward🧍🏻‍♀️ but i feel bad about cluttering your blog with my asks☹️ hyyh era was actually life-changing i miss her every day</3 and me too i am completely lost when it comes to txt lore :( we'll both have to do some research🕵🏻‍♀️ you know that feeling when everything is fine at the moment but you know bad things are about to happen but you can't change anything about it so you're just anxiously chilling? that's me rn😁👍🏻 thank you beffie😔💗 you know i pretty much live in your inbox so you'll get updates on the situation!! i love you even more!!!!!!!!!! omg i didn't even see that it's referencing movies😧 i only know there are references to common superstitions like cutting your nails at night = summoning ghosts and shnabsna i need to see the mv and hear the song immediately i'm so impatient i've been waiting for this for so long🥹 gyu revealing that he's actually introverted somehow made me adore him even more🤨 did not think that that was possible but n e way. i have an announcement to make!!! i dyed my hair with a copper wash out just to try it out and i've now decided that i'm officially becoming a fake ginger😎 all my friends were so surprised because i kept it a secret and all the reactions were so great😭🫶🏻 minus my father and brother saying that i'm rusting🤨 plus i updated my theme!! i didn't think i would do it so soon because finding pictures that go well with each other is actually what my nightmares are made of .... but i love how it turned out hehe the song is so adorable💔 no because you don't understand how obsessed i am with that video of gyu's reaction to the jacket😭 the way that video of the animals actually touched my soul</3 the song choice and just the video itself is pure comfort to me thank you for sending me that😔🫶🏻 SLEEPY BEOM ..... *breaks down in tears* i'm so !!! he's so !!!!!!!!😣😣 beffie i send you 8 trillion links each time too🤨 it's tradition<3 here are yours!! i've watched this about 73 times and i will watch it another 73000 times he's just ☹️😢 a video that is just so crucial to my happiness🫶🏻 and (very surprisingly??😧) a song rec for you as well!!😎 i love u so very much and i'm always so happy when i get to talk to you like it's actually inexplicable /very genuine and serious!!!!!!! please take care bff once again, love you💗

HELLO MY LOVE ! ventured back from the dead <33 you know what? i am proud of myself hehe can’t say that very often mwahaha 😈 i adore you so very much ok !!! im ur biggest fan supporter ok ur my #1 🫶🫶🫶🫶 i ult apple 🫂 and what if i put on a hat over my thick curtain of bangs idk… anyway no bc i usually have them in the notes app too but the one time i decided to write on HERE?! it just closed the app and left me nothing :) just pain ive learned my lesson 🥬 omg don’t worry about it !!! im aggressively awkward and u do not clutter my inbox ok 🥺 ur ask/s bring me infinite joy every time :3 OH GOD i know THAT feeling all too well >_< in fact especially when everything is already just going downhill and you’re stuck on the rollercoaster that’s descending and u just have to learn how to “enjoy” or deal with the ride 🫠😵‍💫 i hope that things are still alright even if it’s before “the storm” 🥺 HERE FOR YOU! til the end til the end til you call my name (for you) !!!!! i’ll (like i always do) look forward to your updates and messages 🥺 feel free to send multiple asks about how ur doing if i haven’t responded ok!!! i love you most 💞💕💞💓💗 omg ik seulgi’s cb is going to be so deliciously good ahhhdhfhhdhhfh OMG APPLE HAS TURNED honeycrisp/gala/fuji (i literally looked up different apple types that looked most similar to ginger) BUT ANYWAY OMG THATS SO CUTE I LOVE THATTTTTTT you’re so cute im torn 💔💔 Awwww that’s so cute too that you surprised them awwww im sobbing on the floor (not really 🫥 but internally im devastated) NO WAY how dare they say that about u skkfksjjfjsjd how rude </333 AHHH I SAW THAT U UPDATED YOURS AND ITS SO CUTE AND BEAUTOFUL ALL AT ONCE / those colors or that aura really suits you !!!! 🥲💗 im obsessedddd the way beom just curses in english made me laugh but like i get it guy 🤜🤛 saw that little vid and just had to send it to you !!! beomgyu is just so beomgyu and it’s just devastating how beomgyu can be so beomgyu ((nonsense)) 🥹 WAIT I LOVE THIS SONG 😫 i love yoojung!! it’s so idk it hits the spot 🥹🎯🎯🎯 yeonjun’s voice and laugh is so sweet to me god 💔 OMG THE CAT VIDEO WAS SO CUTE it made me so happy first time ive smiled in years /lh /hj last night was the first time i slept in a while and i took a big test yesterday and most likely failed and today i have to close at my work so 😝 so sick of this monotonous life 🥱🥱 i just wanna talk to you 🌀🌀🌀🫂🫂🌀🌀🌀 hmm what has happened since we talked (i act like it’s war time and we’re writing love letters to each other) beomgyu was in not one but two vlives i think im not sure anymore sjjfjsjjfjs excited for txt cb 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫🥲🥲🗣️🗣️🗣️ lately ive been watching harry potter films and have been wanting to read more literature but i hardly have time to write let alone sleep and relax hahhahdhhshd😈 we’ll see hehe also did u like one direction i randomly thought of this question anywayyyy here are ur links <3 this made me think of how fun it would being txt bc theyre just bffs and they’re all the best idk and also this was soooo funny of beom it makes me laugh so hard every time and some cheering on 4 u and a song for u <3 anyway I think that’s WAY TOO MUCH i haven’t been on sns much so i can’t provide too much content 🥺 sorry 🥺🫶 just know that i just LOVE U SO SO SO MUCH AND I HOPE YOU HAVE A BEAUTIFUL DAY AND NIGHT ALWAYS !

#ask >3<#[❤️⭐️]—aquí te amo #finally respondin 😎#im a sicko

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highwaydiamonds · 2 years

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The Boomtown Rats might've had it kinda right*- I don't like Mondays either, and today started off rocky tbh.

I got over to exercise okay but hen I got there they took my weight and it was up more than we all expected... Which is not a good thing with my CHF... It's not about my being overweight - it's about more weight over a certain time period gained and am i retaining fluid or having swelling anywhere... Couple that with my BP being up and one of the RNs was kind of all over me... Wanting tme to call my doctor today grrr. And I had to admit the one med I don't always take is my bumetanide (aka bumex -which if you've ever been in the hospital and admitted they might have put you on Lasix- both are diuretics - to pull fluids off you). I hate taking it because, sorry if this is TMI, it makes me have to run to the bathroom too dang often! And truthfully, these days I don't feel bad or problematic when not taking it so....I'm bad about taking it. Everything else I tale p much like clockwork unless i somehow forget to. Anyway, this put me in a cranky mood during exercise because the nurse was all, " i want you to take it easy today - don't push yourself" And then kept asking me " do you have a cardiologist- are you going to call them today?" cue me internally wanting to respond like a pissed off teenager," Yes Casey, I do, I have a cardiologist and a vascular specialist too- do you want me to promise you a blood/sweat/tears sample, and someone else's first born since i don't have a uterus anymore?" He aactually was like, " So who is your cardiologist- does he work for ____? (fill in blank with name of the health system they're part of)" I said Yes he is part of the system, gave his name and when Caey didn't knoww him, I advised, he's in the medical building across the parking lot. 😠 So. annoying. I mean the exercise went relatively okay - did 35 mins or so of cardio- super light tho and another 10 mins of resistance / stretching. I just felt like it wasn't what it could have been if Casey hadn't been nearly sitting on my shoulder. I get that it's rehab and stuff but like... please stop hovering like a vulture ok? I am wearing a monitor I am sure it will tell you if there's a problem. I left there such a crankypants.

This evening was my diabetes education session, which mostly went fine... Most of the info was not new, but a little of it was, so that was good. Most interesting thing was that exercise has an effect on the blood sugar for up to 48 hours after you do it - so hey that's a solid reason to do the hated exercise. there were some nice people in there, one older very negative lady but she was a nice person... I also was able to flip the switch over to "more personable" and talk more (mostly about my glucose monitor - i have one of the continuous ones)... As usual, when I have a framework/ shared topic we are focusing on then I do better. It's when I have to do small talk/ talk about myself or just y'know " be myself" with strangers that all heck breaks loose. I'm fine being my weird ass and goofily loquacious self with people who know me. When people don't know me then I get all awkward and anxious and don't know how to be. I want to hang out and be normal - but then I think, " omg what is normal? how do i be normal? shit - i don't know how to be normal?!"

But yeah - so week one of class done. Just we are supposed to fo a food log to help us look at our carbs. I hate food logs. I hate that they feel like a control mechanism - and a good amount of my food issues are about control and when i get upset especially if i feel i'm being food policed I just want to eat MORE... Kind of as a "fuck you!" Is it a good reaction? No. Do I think part of my weight gain over the weekend was related to some of this - tangentially yes... I just hate having to write it all down - I know it's supposed to help me see patterns but uggggggggghhhhhhhhh. I will do it but i'm going to hate looking at this shit. I do not want to feel guilty about eating cookies when i write down the cookies and how many i ate and the carbs in them etc. It also just irks that with exercise I keep getting weighed and this is all going to come back to bite me :/ I know I'm doing this all for my OWN good... But honestly it doesn't FEEL good so doing it is HARD. But that being said... I will eat my cookie and log the damn cookies so I don't feel denied of cookies which would just piss me off more. So yeah... I can make me do it - but I can't make me do it happily - which honestly, that irony makes me laugh at myself. smh.

so i'mma relax for the rest of the night - tomorrow I have therapy and some cleaning to do, plus laundry (bleh to both) nd I might see if I can find a chair yoga class I can do to qualify as some activity for thee day - we shall see how it goes. I'm still hoping the week will improve!

#ok but nothing to do with what the song is actually about and referencing #but it's such a good song - the piano is beautiful in it and melodically ugh it's so good #and i get the frustration in it - and the actual story behind it - is kinda even more relevant today :/#stuff and nonsense #exercise and crap #exercise as self care #but also cookies as self care #and tomorrow is mom's birthday - miss you mom- love you

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aelingalathyniusrailme · 3 years

Text

Power recognizes power

A little power training gwynriel fic that came from me writing “if you find me at the edge, we’ll jump together.” and I was like this sentence deserves to be the title of something. plus throw everything (and by everything I mean that one sentence in the book) that you know about lightsingers away I’m just using the cute name. and yk there may or may not be some smut at the end.

She was glowing.

She was glowing and Azriel did not mean she looked radiant or that she was overcome with joy, although she did and she was. Gwyneth Berdara was a living, breathing star. As if the spring equinox had come early this year.

Her skin lit up against the blackness of the sky and her hair burned bright with the ferocity of the hearth.

Gwyneth Berdara had stopped singing, the crowd was silent. All eyes were on her but she was looking at him, her light, a beacon to his darkness.

His shadows yearned to go to her, he yearned to go to her. Instead, they both stayed stagnant, watching, waiting.

Azriel was had had enough, he dissolved from view and reappeared on the stage. Startled, Gwyn, took a step back and he stayed right with her, matching her step for step.

He gently tucked a stray piece of lit-up auburn hair behind her here, whispering, “It appears you glow, my love.”

Gwyn, ultimately getting over her initial shock lightly pushed him on the shoulder, “Don’t do that.” She scowled.

Chuckling, he pressed his mouth to hers, in a soft, soothing kiss, forgetful of the audience behind them. As she relaxed beneath his touch, the glow became dimmer and dimmer until it ceased to be. Darkness returned and he stepped back. Gwyn took a breath and stilled. The nervous, passionate energy, that arouse when she sang, calmed for now.

Azriel turned to the crowd, “Due to the events that occurred here tonight, the performance will have to be cut short.” A soft boo drew his attention and immediately he isolated the noise. “Do you want to boo my mate again?” Azriel threatened coolly, his eyes narrowing.

Annoyed, she sighed and spoke to the crowd, “Oh ignore him, I truly am sorry for this interruption but I want to give nothing more than my best and right now I feel as if I can’t do that. the show will be rescheduled sometime next month, letters will be sent out with more information.”

He watched as the stunned and irritated faces slowly began disappearing. Some winnowing away, others taking the slightly more traditional door. Gwyn held her hand out to him. He took it, “So you’re a living lamp?”

“An astute observation.”

“Is there any way I can convince you to rest now and figure this out later?”

She sighed, “It has been an especially long night.”

Azriel stared at her in disbelief, “did you just agree that you should rest?”

“Oh close your mouth, you’ll swallow a fly.” He responded by grinning at her and winnowing them away to their shared home.

Taking off his shirt he yawned not realizing how tired he actually was. It was still strange to him, being able to sleep so freely, without the looming fear of the past and what he couldn’t control. He stopped, realizing Gwyn had not moved from the door.

Gently he asked, “Are you coming?”

She looked at him blankly, lost in thought for a moment before she responded, “Um-yeah-later.” He was unconvinced so she tried again. “I think I’m going to stay out here and make some tea, maybe read a book.”

Azriel gave her a knowing look but did not push, “Goodnight.”

“Goodnight Az.” He tenderly kissed her cheek and walked to their room, immediately passing out on the bed.

—————————————————–

Azriel awoke at dawn and turned, unsurprisingly, to find the left side of the bed cold and empty. He sighed as he got out of bed, pulling on a pair of pants, mumbling. “Gwyneth berdara, you are going to be the death of me.”

Knowing there was no way she would be in the house but believing he probably should, he checked regardless and when he determined that she was in fact not in the house, he closed his eyes. When he opened them once again he found himself at the house of wind.

He nodded in acknowledgment, “Clotho,”

Shadowsinger. “The one and only.”

Is there something you require? “Just looking for that mate of mine. Any chance she’s here”

You know she is, and you know precisely where to find her. Ask what you truly want to ask. Through gritted teeth, he asked, “How long has she been here?”

Since 11 pm. Exhaling, he muttered, “Why can’t that damn woman ever rest.”

Over excursion out of only stubborn will seems to be a similarity between the two of you. Azriel frowned slightly before smiling pleasantly, “It’s been a pleasure as always, thank you for your help.”

Clotho only nodded and Azriel began the stairs to the 7th floor.

It took a moment for him to find her, the shadowsinger was a trained spy, forced to observe and retain even the smallest of details, yet he couldn’t find a bubbly redhead in a room full of texts and stories.

Ah, no wonder he hadn’t seen her. Gwyn was surrounded by hundreds upon hundreds of books. She was drowning in literature, her hair was tied loosely in a braid with quite a few pieces falling out, there were dark circles beneath her eyes, and she was sporting the slightly insane look that came from a lack of sleep.

“Gwyn.” Her head jerked up in surprise to see him.

“Oh Az, Ok Ok, I promise I will go to sleep soon I just need 5 more minutes. I’m so so so close. I think I’m going to skip training today. Ok how about 2 minutes. 10. No that’s more. 10 sets of 1 minute. I just need 10 sets of 1 minute. I’m fine how are you?”

“Gwyn, my love, you’re delirious.”

She brushed him off, “What no I’m fine. I’m fine. Did I already say that? I can’t remember.”

Logic was never the way to deal with her insane stubbornness, so he tried a different approach. He pushed down his worry for her, and curled his mouth into a smirk, “I bet,” She perked up like a dog about to be fed, “that you can’t summarize everything you learned last night into,” he checked the clock. “15 minutes.”

“I could do it in 10.”

“Prove it.”

“And when I win?”

“I leave you to research. But if you can’t you have to go to bed.”

“Time starts now.”

Gwyn took a deep breath and began. “First I looked into where light magic is supposed to originate: the day court. Their magic is described as warm and comforting. Every single text I read described the magic the same way, as a sort of yellowish-brown light, like the sun. But the magic that came from me was more of an icy blinding light, like the lights from the stars rather than the sun. Also, as far as I know, I don’t have family from the day court so I looked into the family I do have. My family from the autumn court. However, we know that autumn court magic is fire, and what manifested in me was light not heat. My grandmother was a nymph so I thought well what type of magic do nymphs have. And the answer was severely disappointing, with basic plant magic being the most a nymph was able to do. I was stumped for a few hours before I realized. I’m basing my research on what I believe to be true not what I know to be true. I was told that I am a quarter nymph and because that heritage would explain my non-high fae-like features I believed that, for there was no reason for me not to. But what if my nymph grandmother was not a nymph at all. I flipped through dozens of books on faeries that have similar features, light magic, and/or can live on land and water. For the most part, I could not find anything, but then out of the corner of my eye I found a small tome on the history of light magic, the majority being all things I’d seen a million times before on the day court, but a passage no more than a page long, referenced ‘the lightsinger.’ Now what is a Lightsinger, you may ask? Honestly, I had no idea what or who they were so I found every book and story I could on them. The lightsinger’s, instead of being a title for a way to manipulate magic, like shadowsingers or daemati, were a race. A long-lost fae race said to be able to bend and create light with their voices and song. It’s said that they died out due to a conflict with the shadowsingers but every so often there are sightings of unknown nymph-like creatures in you’ll never believe where. The autumn court. Now I would only have 25% of lightsinger blood but magic is a fickle thing and some sources believe that when bred with high fae blood the magic intensifies.” Gwyn exhaled.

Azriel grinned victoriously, “It’s been 20 minutes.”

“Goddamn it, I didn’t even get to the interactions between shadowsingers and lightsingers.”

Now he was intrigued. “Well if you want to continue I certainly won’t stop you.”

“No no,” she yawned, “I lost which means I will be going to bed. But I do want to alter our deal slightly.”

“Oh?”

“I sleep now, you train me tomorrow.” The set of her chin and the look in her eye were enough to assure him of how serious she was.

“You want a male who specializes in darkness to help you master your light?”

“Certain theories believe that the mother gifted the light and shadowsingers their gifts to balance each other out and to remain harmonious.” She reasoned. “So yes there is no one I would want more to teach me.”

“I will not take it easy on you.”

“Wouldn’t want you to.”

“Alright Berdara, we meet Sunday at dawn, do not be late.”

“I’ll be there.”

——————————————————————————————————–

Sunday arrived and Azriel watched as Gwyn came down to the training ring in her leathers, with a white ribbon tied in her hair.

“Good morning Gwyneth.”

“So formal.” He shot her a look. “Oh alright ok my turn. Good morning Azriel, shadowsinger, spymaster of the night court, mate of the most amazing female to grace this planet.”

“Training is serious.”

“Of course it is. Shall we begin?”

“I want you to light up the room.”

“What? is it not already lit?”

He smirked and let his shadows paint the room black. Azriel himself became smoke, nothing more than a voice in the darkness.

“Az, az come on this is not funny.”

“Good, because it’s not a joke.” His voice came from every direction and every way Gwyn turned she was surrounded by endless nothing. “You must learn to sing the song of light the way I learned the language of shadow.”

“Speaking in vague melodrama feels like it’s not going to be that effective.”

Gwyn tried to back up only to find what was once the training ring now bled together with the depth of the sky.

“Let the light speak to you. Coax it, nurture it. Burn through the darkness and find the light.”

“How am I supposed to do that.”

Gwyn thought of the way Nesta harnessed her silver fire, the way her eyes became the flame itself. She concentrated and searched deep within herself, searching and looking for the light she knew she possessed.

All she saw was a hallowed chamber.

“No.” The word echoed throughout the room. “Our magic is not like others, we do not create out of nothing, we manipulate what is already there.”

“How am I supposed to manipulate if I’m in a room with no light?” Gwyn huffed frustrated.

“Just because the shadows are masking it, does not mean it is not there.”

He was so damn infuriating. She tried calling the light to her, she flexed her hands, she even tried speaking to it, all to no avail.

“As you said, magic is fickle and our elements especially. Light and darkness do not want to be bound or controlled, let the light be a friend, a companion, let it want to help, let it want to be influenced by your will.”

But how the fuck was she supposed to do that.

“Think of the first time it came to your call.” He whispered ominously. “What were you thinking. What were you feeling? Power often manifests through emotion.”

Singing. She had been singing. Was it really so easy that all she had to do was sing?

Turns out it wasn’t.

For hours she sang hundreds of songs. From songs in the old fae language that she sang at the priestess services to ones she had written herself. Nothing worked. Azriel had let her have a singular break when she desperately needed to pee and even then he was skeptical.

He had left her to her own devices leaving his shadows to watch over her progress. When he returned he found Gwyn clutching her knees, rocking in the shadows. Her gaze was unfocused and she was humming to herself.

“You have officially broken me. I’m done.” She wanted nothing more than to sit in the library with her sisters and a book.

“No.”

Gwyn’s eyes snapped into focus, her breathing steadied, and she went predatorily still. “Excuse me.”

“You heard me. No.” Azriel laughed, a cold vicious laugh. “You asked me to train you. Gwyneth Berdara has never quit before and she certainly won’t start now.”

Gwyn was seething, but she remained quiet. “What?” He was toying with her. “A little darkness too much for you. Light up the room and we won’t have a problem.”

“Oh that’s right you can’t. 10 hours in and no light in sight. You’re pathetic.”

Her anger cleared her mind and in that moment of clarity a memory, buried deep within her, resurfaced as if it was resting, snoozing until its moment of need.

Gwyn was in her mother's lap, a black-haired girl sat across from her. Her voice pulled her attention. “My girls, Catrin,” She tickled her, resulting in a giggle from her lost sister, before she turned her head, “Gwyneth.” And also tickled her. Gwyn's small hands clutched at their mother, desperately trying to hold on. “My two beautiful daughters.” She sighed. “Your lives will be filled with so much darkness, darkness that you do not deserve. But I need you two to be strong, to stay with each other, and to find strength in the other.” ‘I don’t get it,” Gwyn whined.

“We are a part of a glorious and lost people, a people of light and song. But they fear us because they do not understand us.”

Gwyn and Catrin looked up at her, confused and innocent.

“It’s ok, you will. You know the song I sing to you every night before you go to sleep?” Gwyn and Catrin cheered, “Yeah.”

“I want you to sing it with me, and I don’t want you to ever forget it. Can you do that for me?”

Their voices came together in a melodic lullaby. It was captivating and cold, those who heard could not look away. The song demanded to be heard, to be sung.

The words came tumbling out of Gwyn, they twisted around her tongue and lips as if finally home. Lost but not forgotten. Lost but born anew. Through the shadow and darkness, her eyes found the light, it heard her call and from every direction it found her. She pulled the brilliance of the stars to her and let the light paint the dark white.

The shadows retreated to Azriel who stood just two feet in front of her. Their eyes locked and he smiled, “there she is.”

The light flowed and flowed, and the room lit up in a blaze of pearlescent radiance. Her pale skin lit and she had once again become one with the stars.

But while the call came from her, there was another that drew her light forward. His shadows and her light curiously answered the pull. Finding each other between Azriel and Gwyn. One did not dissolve into the other like it should but instead mingled, swirling around each other in an almost playful manner. They became one from two opposites that never should have met.

As they blended together she felt a pounding in her chest and a throbbing somewhere lower. Her toes curled and she craved more. Their power was its own entity and yet connected to them. A push and pull, a desire to be close.

Azriel bridged the gap between them breathing heavily, pulling her against him as he’d never felt her before. “Az.” she gasped.

His eyes were on her lips as he licked his own, smiling, “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you so alive.”

“You’re the worst,” She said between breaths.

“I know.” And their lips met in a furious burst of passion.

He kissed her with a fiery hunger, a male starving. Her hands weaved through his hair, her fingers getting lost in the darkness. Gwyn wanted nothing more then to be lost in his darkness, as he wanted to drown in her light. Azriel gripped her waist, grinding his hardness into her causing her to moan.

“You make such pretty sounds for me.” He chuckled, ripping her shirt off.

“Fuck me.” It was an order, not a request.

“Gladly.” Their clothes were gone moments later. His kisses moved down her neck as he sucked and his fingers dipped to her cunt as he felt her. “Always so wet and ready for me.”

She wrapped her hand around his cock, “Always so hard for me.”

“Can’t help it.”

“Wouldn’t want you to.” He laid her down in the middle of the training ring and stroked his cock up and down her folds, pressing against her clit. “oh my god-fuck.”

With that, his control snapped and he buried himself to the hilt in her. Stroking once, twice.

He smirked, crooning, “look how perfectly we fit.”

His thrusts were slow and shallow, edging her on, basking in the feel of him in her, of her around him.

He then went harder, hitting her in the right spot every time, but Gwyn needed more.

“Faster.”

“Your wish is my command.” Azriel fucked her hard and fast, and with every thrust she moaned in ecstasy, driving her hips forward, meeting him step for step.

“Oh my god fuck me.”

“Such a good girl, taking it so well.” He captured a moan on her lips, devouring her.

“yes, yes fuck.”

Where the light met the dark, was where Gwyn met Azriel. They were cocooned in a shell of power flowing between and all around them. They were a storm of blinding light and depthless shadow, the lines of what were and were not, blurred to just the other.

“Gwyn.” He groaned, nothing existed but them.

“Az I’m gonna cum.”

“Yes, my love, cum for me.”

Every thrust became sporadic and uncontrolled as if his pleasure had taken a mind of its own. He swirled his tongue around her nipple and ground her clit with his fingers.

It was all too much, Gwyn cried out as she came, her back arching, toes curling. Her cunt tightened around his cock as he fucked her past completion. She was everything and watching her cum was enough to send him over the edge as he emptied himself in her, collapsing on the ground next to her.

For a moment they were silent before Gwyn spoke, “would you like to hear what I learned about the interactions between Lightsinger’s and Shadowsinger’s” She smirked, “Apparently the sex is unlike even mate sex.”

“I can vouch for that.”

Gwyn laughed, and if it wasn’t the most beautiful sound he’d ever heard.

#gwynriel #gwyn berdara #azriel #gwyn x azriel #one shot #gwynriel one shot #smut #Gwynriel fanfiction

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