Could I have a carmen Aziza fic where Yn is new to the prison and she always feels like someone’s staring at her and one day she catches carmen staring at her and gets really flustered then carmen starts flirting with her and becomes posessive over her then one day she drags Yn to the library and kisses her and basically confesses how she wants Yn all for herself
my love, mine all mine
my love mine all mine - mitski
word count: 5.9k
warnings: obsessive, possessive and protective behavior, flirting, kissing, toxic behavior, a bit of violence, threats, cursing, stalking, harry potter part 2 hate (I'm truly sorry)
summary: y/n is new to the prison and always feels like she is being watched. one night in the tv room, she turns around to the person who is watching her, only then realizing how gorgeous her observer is. they form a bond through several sets of events, slowly falling for each other. y/n slowly gets to know ouija's protective and possessive nature and at one birthday party of y/n's bunkmate, that behavior hits its peak. provocated by jealousy, frustration and confusing feelings, ouija makes a messy confession, explaining how she wants y/n all to herself
a/n: heyy, sorry that this took so long! I had a lot going on with school and writer's block so that I literally had no motivation to write. Anyway, I put a lot of work into this and I hope you like it (pls tell me what you think!!). I hope the flirting isn't too awkward, I'm still figuring out how to do that. I hope you enjoy and that I've done your idea justice. also this takes place in season 4
You were walking towards the entrance of Litchfield Penitentiary, the prison where you would be spending the next 3 years of your life. You had been charged with drug trafficking and distribution, all because some scared little snitch who didn't want to go to prison had ratted the whole cartel out. Even your drug lord was now facing a sentence of 9 years. 9 fucking years.
Your lawyer, who had defended you in trial, had been really shitty and literally just gave up on you. He didn't even try to make your sentence shorter, that sorry excuse of a man. Lazy fuck.
Morello, the weird Italian lady who drove you and some other people down to the prison, opened the gate and let you and the other new inmates inside. You couldn't believe you were now an "inmate", it was so weird to think of yourself that way.
"Welcome home everyone!", she exclaimed, giving you an encouraging smile.
You were lucky to get out of the cold van, it was January after all and since it had already snowed, the temperature had dropped down several degrees. So it was a relief to step into the warmer walls of the prison, not having to freeze your ass off in the snow.
The first thing you noticed when you stepped into the halls was how crowded it was. You were tempted to just turn around and run, trying to escape the stuffy air and suffocating feeling that was slowly spreading inside of you. Other inmates were constantly passing your little group, shooting you intimidating glances or smiling dangerously at you. You were uncomfortable, but not scared.
It just reminded you of the halls of your high school back then. Loud, uncomfortable and always overfilled. And god, the popular girls who used to bully you. To say the least, you were used to this.
Morello guided you through the prison, showing you where the commissary, bathrooms and everything else was. You were just passing the TV room, looking inside for a second when you made eye contact with a brown haired woman. The woman frowned at you, looking you up and down. You frowned back and kept walking, turning away from the door.
What the fuck was that?
You sighed and shook your head, telling yourself not to think too much of it. It had only been a small encounter, nothing too significant. At least not enough to get you in trouble. For now.
⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚
You were shown to your dorm, where you occupied the bunk above a woman named Brandy Epps. It was obvious she was extremely racist, you even heard her discussing something about "white lives matter" or "white pride", which you took as a sign to stay the fuck away from her. She continued to make dirty comments about other inmates in the prison while you were busy making your bed.
You turned around to listen to her when you were done, staring at her in disgust and listening to the insults that were coming out of her mouth so easily. You shook your head in disbelief.
You must've been staring at her for too long as the woman turned around, obviously pissed off.
"You got some kind of problem?", she questioned threateningly, getting closer to where you were standing.
"No", you huffed, looking away. You really didn't want to start any trouble on your first day. Best to avoid tricky situations.
"Good. I see you staring like that again, we got a problem, you hear me?"
You sighed. You should've known people would have anger issues in here. That people would get aggressive over the smallest things, because they didn't have anything better to do. Because prison was a shithole and it was fucking tiring to simply just exist there. You certainly didn't want to end up like her, but you feared you were going to have no choice in the future.
"Sure."
Before she could say anything else, you made your way to the cafeteria for dinner.
Due to the prison's overcrowding, the blocks were divided up at each meal. You and your block ate with Cell Block C or the so-called "Spanish Harlem", as Morello had already explained to you.
With your plate of food in hand, you sat down at the end of some table and started eating. You were extremely hungry, exhausted from the stress of arriving in the prison.
Suddenly, you felt two pairs of eyes burn holes into your back and you just knew someone was staring at you. You forced yourself to not turn around, not wanting to start a fight on your first day. One never knew what could happen in prison, you might get jumped just because you sat in the wrong seat or stared at someone the wrong way, almost like it did with the racist bitch back in your dorm.
It made you uncomfortable but you focused on the disgusting brown liquid in front of you that was supposed to be "chili con carne", forcing it down your throat and hoping, no praying, that that person was going to leave you alone.
⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚
The next few days you felt as if you were being watched the entire time, feeling that burning sensation in your back again. There wasn't a single moment where you didn't turn around every single second while walking to the showers or the cafeteria.
You were extremely paranoid.
But every time you did, there were always too many people in the halls to really make out someone who could be stalking you.
So you just kept on going about your day, minding your business.
Until you couldn't anymore.
⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚
It was Friday night, which today should've been movie night, but it got canceled and now everyone was in a bad mood. It wasn't often that something nice like this happened and it was a good escape from the tiring everyday routine the inmates had in the prison. You got to watch cool movies, eat snacks from the commissary and chill with your friends.
Instead, you were now sitting in the tv room, just reading your book in a chair next to Morello, who had unfortunately forced you to come along.
"Come on, Y/N! I promise it'll be fun. You can bring your boring book, even though it is a TV room, meaning you go there to watch TV and not to…read. Usually. But I'm sure they'll make an exception!", she had said to you after finding you alone on your bunk, wrapped in your blanket. You had rolled your eyes at her but gotten up from your bunk nevertheless, admitting defeat.
You had actually been enjoying the silence in your dormitory from everyone being gone, but of course, that just had to be interrupted.
Now you were sitting there, amongst all those other people, just trying to read your book in peace. But, and honestly what else did you expect, there was the piercing set of eyes again, just watching your every move. You were actually so sick of it now. Why was this person looking at you the whole time? Why were you so interesting?
This time, you actually decided to turn around and not ignore them like you had done the other times.
You spotted her immediately. It was the woman who had frowned at you on your first day! The woman with the brown hair!
And now she was smirking at you. How was she not looking away or ashamed that you caught her?
Your eyes widened as you slowly scanned her. She was drop-dead-gorgeous. She had curves that were to die for, these stunning dark brown eyes…
You felt yourself blush and turned away. God, hadn't you promised yourself to not find anyone attractive here? Especially not people that could possibly be dangerous?
Well, you had just failed miserably and pathetically.
⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚
Someone pulled a chair up in front of you, sitting on it backwards, using the back of the chair as an armrest.
You were looking down on the ground, burying your face in your book when a finger hooked itself under your chin, tilting it up.
The drop-dead-gorgeous woman was right in front of you, her eyes scanning your face, biting her lip.
She outstretched her hand to you.
"Ouija. Nice to meet you." Her eyes shone with something you couldn't quite decipher.
"Y/N", you introduced yourself, feeling shy in front of this beautiful woman, shaking her hand. She held onto it a little longer than normal, looking you directly in your eyes.
"That's a beautiful name."
She flashed you an amused smile, recognizing your anxiousness.
"Yo, there's no need to be shy, chica" (cutie/girl), Ouija said while moving in a little closer.
"Not for a pretty girl like you at least.", she said with a lowered voice.
She smiled at you once again and you felt your cheeks heat up.
"Thank you", you mumbled, not really knowing what else to say.
Ouija smirked.
"You're welcome, muñequita" (dolly)
Fuck.
"Anyhow, what you in for, mama?", she asked, slowly leaning back again as if she didn't just audibly make you gasp.
"Drug trafficking and distribution", you answered, avoiding her gaze.
"Yo, damn! So you a 'little miss drug dealer' then?" She laughed.
"Certainly. Right hand woman of my drug lord, thank you very much", you responded, bowing your head a little. She chuckled, shaking her head.
"Impressive, yo. I like a woman in power. It's hot."
You felt yourself blush again. God, this woman somehow had the ability to make you flustered very easily.
"So, what did you do?", you questioned.
"WIC Fraud. I killed three somebody's - nobodies -", she pointed to a tattoo that she had right next to her eye, three black teardrops, "and then I get popped for fucking fraud. You believe that shit?"
You shook your head, confused as to how they didn't find out about her killing all those people but charged her for the fraud. Maybe if you had committed another crime besides the drug thing and turned yourself in, you would be facing less time. You were suddenly deep in your thoughts, wondering about that, so that you didn't notice Ouija standing up beside you.
"All right, mama, I'mma let you get back to your book here. We'll see each other around", she said optimistically.
Ouija walked back to her seat, but not without winking at you and letting her hand brush against your arm.
You didn't get the chance to ask why she had been staring at you this whole time before really introducing herself to you, but right now, that matter seemed pretty unimportant to you. You felt starstruck from the interaction with the latina, just staring at the words in your book and not being able to focus at all. The conversation had been way too short and you already wanted to talk to her more.
But what you didn't know is that you wouldn't have to wait long until the two of you would speak again. Carmen had taken a liking to you and she was ready to explore what might develop between you two. At least she already knew that she was capable of making your cheeks go red within a matter of seconds.
⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚
You were doing research in the library, or more like trying to find one of your favorite books, Harry Potter. You were trying to find some comfort in this cold place and what better way to do it than with your favorite literature? You wandered through the fiction aisle, scanning through the books.
There it was, on the highest shelf. But, of course, as expected, you were not tall enough to reach it. You felt so incredibly pathetic right now, there was no chair in sight to help you, no stool for you to stand on.
„Yo, need some help there?“, you heard someone ask. You turned around to the voice.
It was Ouija. She was leaning against one of the shelves, smirking at your attempts to stand on your tiptoes to grab the book, of course failing miserably.
„Yes, please“, you said, just a tad embarassed.
„Which book?“, she asked.
„Harry Potter“
She nodded, reaching up, taking it out without any strain.
„So, the goblet of fire“, she said, twisting the book in her hands.
„It was one of my favorite books growing up. I’m already done with all of the books I was allowed to bring in here so I thought I’d do a little nostalgia trip“
Your fingertips touched as she passed you the book.
„I liked it too as a little kid. But my favorite book was always the chamber of secrets“
„Girl – no offense – but are you serious?“
Ouija frowned, a playful smirk tugging at the corner of her lips.
„What do you mean?“, she questioned, crossing her arms in front of her face.
You smiled, shaking your head.
„Nah, I don’t want to destroy your favorite childhood book for you. I have a very strong opinion when it comes to Harry Potter.“
„No worries, yo, I can handle it. Give it to me“, Ouija said lowly, tilting her head. You bit your lip, rubbing your hands together, getting ready to go.
„Well, I think Ginny’s absolutely insufferable in that book, I mean sure, she was influenced by Voldemort but still, I think it’s not right that she played the „weak, needing to be saved“ girl in that book. It’s not exactly feminist. Also I think the book doesn’t really add to the series, it’s just kind of there as a „filler“ or an information dump. Also, the thing with the diary is just unrealistic. Why wouldn’t anyone notice that it’s in Ginny’s posession? It just doesn’t make sense.“
You grit your teeth in worry, hoping you didn’t go to far.
„I’m sorry, was that too far?“, you asked.
„Nah, I think you’re right actually. Yo, I might have to rethink my favorite childhood book“, Ouija laughed, rubbing her neck.
„I’d be happy to help. I know quite a lot about the series actually“, you explained proudly.
„I figured. That pretty face can convince me of anything, man, I’m sure“
You looked down, trying to hide the blush spreading on your cheeks.
„Don’t hide it“, Ouija said, tilting your chin up. You looked up into her beautiful dark brown eyes, getting lost in them.
⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚
It was late in the afternoon, the sun was already setting and the inmates had a few hours left to catch some air outside before the prison would close its gates, making it time for lights out. You had put on your winter coat and beanie, ready to take a little stroll in the yard. Your hands were covered in thick gloves, protecting you from the harsh January wind
Today, you were just going to take a little stroll around the yard, not that anything else was really possible here. You wish you would have some kind of space to run, get rid of all the energy that you weren’t able to put to use properly.
You were just about to round the corner at the mailbox when you heard a noise.
You stopped in your tracks when you heard someone sniffle and sob.
Frowning, you started walking towards the sound and soon you were able to make out the person who they were coming from. They had brown curly hair - Oh shit! Ouija! You stopped yourself before you were going to run over to her and make sure she's okay.
You were unsure if you should approach her at such a sensitive time.
You wouldn't know how she was going to react, the two of you had known each other barely a hot second.
But you knew that if you were alone and crying in a prison and the person discovering you had good intentions, you would want to be comforted too. And that was good enough for you. You hoped you were making the right decision.
"Ouija, hey, what's wrong?", you asked worriedly, slowly kneeling down beside her.
Her head snapped up, her eyes widening when she realized it was you. She quickly wiped her tears away, trying to find her composure. You couldn’t help but admire her, she was even pretty when she cried, her lashes were stuck together, her cheeks were flushed… God, wrong moment!! Get it together Y/N...
"Oh shit. Hey, didn't hear you coming. Yo, how's it going?"
"I'm fine, but you don't seem to be. What's the matter?"
"Nah, I'm fine, nothing to worry about", she said quickly. You raised your eyebrows, not believing anything she said.
"What? I said I’m fine, man“, Ouija spat, putting up all her defenses.
"Look, I know we don’t really know each other, but I’m not gonna judge you for showing emotion or opening up. It’s human.“
Ouija huffed, shaking her head in disbelief.
"Fuck, fine. Shit, you're stubborn, girl. It's my son. He's in the hospital because of some gang activity in his block and…I'm not there for him, man. I'm in fucking prison. And I can't do anything about it."
You sighed. You knew what she was talking about. You felt the same. Being in prison made you feel so stuck, even though you had only been there for a few days. You weren’t there for your loved ones, the world around you kept turning and changing while you were locked away. Your friends had also seemingly already forgotten about you. Maybe they were all just glad you were gone.
"Honestly, I get it. I have a little sister, she just turned 5. She's growing up so fast and in a year, she'll already be in primary school. I'm missing out on her making her first friends there, I can't help her with her homework or comfort her when she has a bad day. It's torture. So yeah, I can relate. Nothing bad happened to her yet, fortunately, but you know the world out there. I can’t protect her from the harm she might experience out there."
The two of you were silent for a second, saying nothing.
"The thing is, you can't change anything about it. As much as it sucks, you gotta figure out how to deal with that shit. You gotta trust that your son knows you love him and that you being in here has nothing to do with him."
That flipped a switch in Ouija. She did love her son, a lot. She had just got to find a way to show it to him, especially right now. A small smile spread on her face as an idea popped up in her head.
She felt your hand touch her back, stroking it slowly.
Ouija turned to you, the woman who she had been obsessed with ever since she had entered the walls of this prison. The woman who she had frowned at when she made eye contact with her at her first day. The woman who frowned back. She knew that you knew that she had watched you the first few days upon your arrival. You were just so mesmerizing to her, she somehow felt drawn to you.
"Inmates! Back inside!", you heard a guard shout loudly. You sighed. The roughness of the CO's was still something you had to get used to.
"Yo, we should probably go before it gets serious or some shit. You never know if these fuckers are gonna pull out a gun or not", Ouija said, outstretching her hand to you, desperate to get you away from possible danger.
You nodded, letting her help you up.
As you were about to walk past the guard, you noticed that your shoe was untied. You stopped, reaching down to tie it, but the CO was not having it.
„INMATE! KEEP IT MOVING! I HAVEN’T GOT ALL FUCKING DAY, YOU UNDERSTAND??!“, he shouted aggressively, about to yank you up from the ground, when Ouija threw herself inbetween you two.
From your place on the ground, you didn’t hear what she said to the CO or what made him back off of the two of you. You only saw her enraged facial expression as she turned to help you up, once again. You were in a complete state of shock, this being the first time you were properly yelled at by a guard. You felt Ouija wrap an arm around your shoulder, guiding you back inside.
„Inmate Aziza, I would fucking throw you down to the SHU, but I’m fucking exhausted from today so I will let you off EASILY because I’m so nice with just a shot. For the both of you that is!“, he spat at the two of you as you walked back inside.
Ouija saw the broken look on your face and from that point, there was no way in hell that she was ever going to leave your side. She felt protective of you suddenly, she wanted to rip that guard’s head off, no, she wanted to choke him until his words got stuck in his fucking throat for ever talking to you in that way.
She wanted to shield you from any and all bad things in this place. She wanted you to herself, wanted no one fucking near you, except for her. Her hand grabbed your shoulder tighter.
She stood in front of you, so you were facing her. Butterflies erupted in her stomach as your gaze met hers. Your eyes were so beautiful. You were slightly looking up to her, as Ouija was a bit taller than you.
„Hey, yo, are you okay, mama? That guard was pretty rough on you“, she asked you, her voice soft as velvet. Tears threatened to spill from your eyes, but Ouija wasn’t letting that happen. She grabbed your chin, caressing your cheek with her thumb.
„Yo, no crying, pretty woman, we’ve already had enough of that today.“
„I love that movie“, you chuckled slightly, wiping your eyes with the sleeves of your shirt.
„Pretty Woman? White poor woman fucks rich white man and falls in love? Nah, that shit’s too predictable.“
„Exactly. One already knows how the movie ends, but I still like it“
Ouija scoffed, ruffling your hair. She leads you back to your dorm, glaring at Epps as the bald-headed woman was about to harass you again. Epps backed up with raised hands, whispering:
„I wasn’t even about to do anything...“
⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚
You were casually walking to the showers, towel and toiletries in hand. It was 5am in the morning, so the line wasn't long.
You had gotten up early for the hot water, your bunkmate Epps complaining that you were making too much noise, disrupting her very important sleep. There were only 2 hours until she had to get up anyway. Epps luckily hadn’t bothered you too much the past few days, thanks to Ouija, who had given her death glares whenever the two of you had been hanging around each other, which had been quite often. You had spent most of your time with her, she had helped you settle into the prison and made you laugh almost all the time. You had been there for her during all the announcements she got from the hospital about her son and celebrated with her when the doctor told her that he was going to be okay.
You hadn’t really gotten acquainted with any of the other women at the prison, as every time you tried to talk to one of them, you felt Ouija’s glare on the both of you or you got pulled away from the other person because she suddenly „needed to talk to you very urgently“. Of course you knew that she was jealous somehow, even though she had no reason to be. One of the times when she had dragged you away, the two of you had gone to the chapel. Ouija hadn’t said anything as she had taken your hand and pulled you along with her.
She had lifted you onto the stage, where performances or speeches were given, but kept standing on the ground herself. She still stayed silent as she locked eyes with you and slowly ran one of her hands up your thigh. She leaned in a little bit when her hand reached the waistband of your pants, her eyes on your lips. You could basically feel the electricity sizzling between the two of you. It was like the two of you were always meant to end up so close to each other, like this. Your foreheads were already touching, your lips barely inches away from each other, when the door to the chapel slammed shut and the both of you immediately flew off of each other. Pidge was calling for Ouija, telling her that Maria was calling a meeting. Ouija, frustrated, promising you she would be back for you, „continuing where you left of“. And now you were here.
You stepped into one of the shower cabinets, turning on the shower head.
You sighed as the warm water washed over your body, immediately making you sleepy again. You hadn’t slept really well with that racist woman Epps beneath you. You never knew what she might do and you always had to sleep with one eye open. It was exhausting and definitely took a strain on your body.
"Mornin', muñequita."
You turned around to the voice, looking directly into Ouija's eyes. She looked a little sleepy, but her half-closed eyes were still roaming your body, drinking in your frame. With just a look, she was able to to make you sweat, blush, avoid her gaze… it was nerve-wracking. With a towel wrapped around your body, you stepped outside of the shower and towards the fully dressed Ouija.
"Hey there“, you answered, yawning.
"How you doing, mama?"
"I'm good, a little tired still." She nodded understandingly.
"Glad my pretty girl is doing well", she smiled, leaning against the wall.
You blushed a little and looked to your feet, trying to hide your reddened cheeks.
"Yo, come over here, mama", she beckoned.
You looked left and right to check if anyone was there who could possibly see you before you moved out of the shower cabin and over to where Ouija was standing.
As soon as you were standing in front of her Ouija grabbed your shoulders and pulled you close, wrapping her arms around your lower torso. She pressed a kiss to your forehead, allowing you to rest your head on her chest.
„Y/N?“
„Yeah?“
„I wanted to say thanks for the time you found me..you know, crying, and comforted me and shit. I didn’t deserve that and I’m still a shit mom, but I talked to my son on the phone and...he’s coming to visitation next week“
You squealed in excitement, jumping up a little bit, so excited for Ouija.
„Ouija, that’s great! I’m so happy for you!“
You wrapped your arms around her neck , embracing her in a hug.
Ouija grabbed you by your hips and switched positions so that now you were pressed against the wall. Both of her hands were placed next to your head while yours were busy holding up that towel of yours.
„You’re so cute when you’re happy, you know that?“, Ouija asked, biting her bottom lip. She leaned in closer, taking your face inbetween her hands. Your eyes closed in anticipation, ready to finally connect with her, to finally feel the full extent of the electricity between you too. She leaned in, leaned in, you started feeling dizzy of her scent, of her presence...
BANG! The metal door to the showers slammed shut, loud voices coming from the doorway. Ouija immediately let go of you, distancing herself, and as some of the other inmates walked past you and entered the showers, you tried to act as nothing had happened before. You exchanged a frustrated glance with her, were you ever going to be able to kiss?
⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚
It was your bunkmate Epps' birthday and she made like this whole deal out of it. Almost everyone in this prison was invited, including you and Ouija and almost every single lesbian which was weird, since Epps was definitely homophobic.
But she and her friends did know how to throw a party, you had to leave her that. There was a snack bar with drinks, a dance floor and colorful garlands reading "happy birthday".
You had just entered the overfilled room, completely overwhelmed, not knowing what to do or where to stand or where to sit. You were looking around for Ouija, finding her in a corner of the room, next to Pidge and Zirconia.
She was staring down everyone in the room, a grumpy expression on her face. You know how frustrated she had been the past few days, you were about to kiss two times, but always had been interrupted by one of the other inmates. Privacy was basically non-existent in prison and by now, the two of you were so desperate to kiss, you almost felt like two pathetic lesbian teenage girls.
You were walking towards her, pushing through the crowd, and as you approached them, Zirconia noticed you, her face lighting up.
"Y/N! Hi!", she exclaimed happily.
Ouija's head immediately snapped in your direction and her entire demeanor changed. Her grumpy face disappeared, her eyes lit up and a smile spread across her lips.
"Well, yo, look who showed up!", she said, genuinely happy to see you.
You smiled at her and Pidge.
You looked around for a chair to pull up next to the group, but of course, every single one was taken. This did not go unnoticed by Ouija and she certainly did not seem too unhappy about this fact as her smirk widened.
"Come, muñeca, you can sit here", she said, pointing to her man spread legs. Damn, you thought, really really wanting to, but not being sure if it might be risky. You looked around to see if anyone was looking except for Zirconia and Pidge, but everyone was too focused on themselves to even slightly care about the two of you. And even so, you didn’t care.
You lowered yourself onto her lap and immediately felt her arms tightly wrap around your torso.
„Good girl, put those pretty thighs on me“, she whispered in your ear, her hand stroking your leg softly. Your eyes widened, the familiar blush spreading on your cheeks. „Mi amor, mio todo mio“, (my love, mine all mine) she mumbled, placing a kiss on your shoulder.
The evening progressed without anyone even looking at you. You sat on Ouija’s lap the entire time, wondering how it wasn’t taking a strain on her legs, conversing with her, Zirconia and Pidge. You did not once go to the buffet because you were so immersed in the conversation you were having with them but nevertheless, you were thirsty.
„I’ll just get something to drink really quick, do you want anything?“, you said to Ouija, hopping off of her lap.
„Nah, I’m good, thanks though“
⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚
You were standing at the bar, deciding what drink you were going to get, not that there were a lot of options, this was prison after all. Possibilities weren’t exactly endless.
„Hi there“, a voice greeted you, coming out of nowhere.
You jumped, letting out a little shriek.
„Oh I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you“, the woman next to you said worriedly, but you only laughed.
„It’s fine, I get scared easily.“
„You’re new here right?“, she asked, tilting her head in curiosity.
„Yeah, I arrived here about two weeks ago, so my stay hasn’t exactly been long“
„Ah, so a newbie. That’s why I haven’t seen you around.“
You nodded, conversing in a little small talk with her. You already felt Ouija staring at you, knowing it was because of her protective and posessive nature, but you also wanted friends in here. You needed other people that you could rely on.
The woman, who turned out to be called Carla was telling you funny stories about other prisons she had been at and interactions she had with other inmates there and here at Litchfield.
You laughed loudly, finding her absolutely hilarious. While you and the woman were joking around, Ouija was boiling with anger and jealousy. She tried to keep her cool, „take a fucking chill pill“, like Zirconia had advised her. But it was really hard when she hadn’t even kissed you yet, didn’t even get to call you hers yet. Maybe the possibility of somebody else still being able to snatch you away was giving her the nerves. Maybe she would be more relaxed if she knew you were really hers.
Maybe. But right now, she just wanted to get you the fuck away from that other woman.
As you kept talking with Carla, you felt her put her hand on your waist.
„Um…“, you mumbled, looking over to Ouija. That was Carmen Aziza’s last straw. Nobody would touch her girl, not like that.
She stormed over to where you were standing and pushed the other woman off of you and to the ground where she landed with a loud bang. She stood over the woman, placing her thick boot onto her chest, compromising her airways.
„Touch her again and yo“, she laughed bitterly, „I’ll fuck you up“.
Before you could properly register what was happening, you felt yourself being grabbed by the wrist and pulled away. You didn’t know where you were going, as you were still finding your way around the prison, when you reached the door to the library. It was completely silent, the only sound being you getting pushed against one of the shelves.
Ouija stood in front of you, placing one of her hands beside your head. She used the other one to harshly grab your chin, lifting it up so you were looking at her. Her facial expression was one of anger, jealousy and displeasement.
„I don’t know who that other woman thinks she is, but she better know that you’re mine. Ever since you stepped into the walls of this prison, shit, I knew I had to have you. You're mine, amorcita. You're all mine and yo, guess what? I ain't about fucking sharing. I can’t hide how I feel about you anymore, munequita. Not when 1000 other bitches are this close to you every day. I love you.“
Ouija’s face was full of worry, anticipation of what you thought of her confession, if you felt the same.
„I’m yours“, you said, breathless, and that was all it took for Ouija to smash her lips against you and press you further into the wooden shelves. Her scent intoxicated you, all you saw, smelled, heard, touched was her. She was your whole world and you were hers. Her warm body was pressing into yours, her hands were roaming your body, diving underneath your shirt. Finally, you could do what you waited so long for. Her hands were in your hair, her tongue was dancing with yours. You forgot that you were in prison, you forgot about the world around you.
All there was, was you and her. Your love, yours all yours.
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Miriam Morales
Pidge is the New Black
By Jay S. Jacobs
Imagine this. You’re a huge fan of a TV show. You binge it as soon as it hits Netflix. Then, suddenly, you’re offered a role on the series. How cool would that be?
Ask Miriam Morales, who was an Orange is the New Black viewer long before she was a character. She was brought onboard in the fourth season to play Ramona “Pidge” Contreras, one of the new Dominican inmates in Litchfield Penitentiary. Her character role has been expanded in the new fifth season of OITNB, sticking Pidge into more exciting and dangerous storylines around the season’s hostage storyline.
In the meantime, Morales has gotten a role on another streaming series, the Bryan Cranston-helmed Amazon series Sneaky Pete with Giovanni Ribisi, Marin Ireland and Margo Martindale.
We hooked up with Morales a few weeks after season five of Orange is the New Black dropped, to catch up with her on life as an actress and life behind bars.
You joined Orange Is the New Black in the fourth season. How familiar were you with the show before you joined up?
Very familiar. I was a fan. A fan, completely obsessed with it! It was the show that I wanted to be on, the show that I envisioned myself on. Every time a new season came out I would start binge-watching. I would immediately text my manager and remind her that I needed to be on the show, that I was going to be on the show, and to get me in the room. (laughs) So yeah, I was very familiar with it.
Once you finally made it onto the set how surreal was it? What was it like to join in on an established cast? They had been going on for three seasons before you got there.
Extremely surreal, because like you said, they were already so established, and so popular by then. Very tight-knit. So, [I was] definitely excited, overwhelmed, nervous. I just wanted to go in and do a good job, and master a level of professionalism and talent and respect. It sounds really corny, but it was a dream come true.
I am sort of new to the Orange Is the New Black world, so why don’t you tell our readers a little bit about Pidge as a character?
There’s not that much written about her life, well at least not in season four. We learn a bit more in season five about who she is. But in terms of her in this world, we know Pidge is extremely, extremely loyal to her friends. To her group of other Dominican inmates. She’s tough when she needs to be, but she also knows when to chill and relax. She also has a little comedic side to her that comes out. I would say her loyalty is also her downfall. She’s so loyal she doesn't know when to really pull back, how that’s going to affect her, and what the consequences of that would be. She’s so gung ho for anything.
I’m sure as the actress portraying her you’ve got a way that you see her, and you’ve probably given her a backstory and everything, but are you sometimes surprised when you meet fans with different ideas and understandings of her motivations?
A little bit, a little bit. I think with season five we get to see so much more of Pidge. People really get to see how fun she is, like she’s funny. It’s a nice duality. I say she is funny, but she’s tough when she needs to be. I would say in season five that really comes out because she’s guarding the hostages with Ouija (Rosal Colón). You see that fierceness in her. She’s so serious about it. It’s not a game. Then you also see her just being silly, and sorting the coffee. It all comes from a place of… this is surreal for her, you know what I mean?
Did the show writers let you know going into season five that Pidge would have so much bigger a role, or was it something you just learned while reading the scripts? How does it make you feel to know they think her character is so interesting that they will do more with her?
Great! (laughs) It is one of the things that they don’t tell you that you’ll be in it so much more. Every time you get an episode and you read it, you learn how much more you have to play with. As I was reading episodes, I would obviously get really excited like “Oooh, yes! Pidge gets to play.” I would write down my notes of any new information that I would get from her. Like I said, in season five we do learn a little bit more about Pidge’s life. We learn that she has a sister, and her sister has a pet chihuahua, and his name is Hannibal. So I wrote that down, okay that’s good to know. (laughs) I have a sister out there. Good. Okay, that’s cool! It was great.
What ways would you find Pidge similar to yourself, Miriam, and what parts of her are harder for you to get a grasp on as an actress?
A similarity is definitely the loyalty part; that I could very much relate to. I wouldn't say it’s hard to get a grasp on the other aspects, because I think I have that in me, too. They just don't come out as often. So, if anything, it’s actually fun for me to be tough and to exert that. Not really care and to just go there. For me that’s actually fun. It’s freeing. It builds up parts of me that I don't necessarily always get to play with in my day-to-day life. When it comes out in Pidge it’s like, “Oh yeah, I can do this.”
Did you do anything special to prepare for playing the role of a prisoner? Maybe talked to some prisoners, or some law-men, or even toured a jail?
I have had family members in the system, so I am familiar. I did talk to them and ask them what it was like, because they were in two different facilities. I just wanted to get an idea in general of how it is. Obviously, it’s two different places and things, but I just wanted to get a gist. I visited them in prison, aso I already had my own ideas of what it’s like to walk into this place and how different it is. It’s a completely different world than the real world, so I tried to bring that with me. Incorporate it into Pidge in a sense of “okay this is my life now, this is my world, this is my family,” and act accordingly. Now, it’s about survival and just making it through this time.
Why do you think people are so fascinated by what goes on behind prison walls?
What Orange has done is, through these characters, their lives in prison, and through the flashbacks, you get to learn so much about their backstory, and it just makes you realize that everyone is very relatable. They’re human, and these are very real stories. We can’t judge someone just because they are in prison. That is the magnet. That’s why people are so interested. It’s not necessarily what goes on behind prison [walls], but just to get an idea of the life in there. You can also see these are real people. They have families. They have kids. They have fears. They worry about things. It’s really not so different from those in the outside world. Yes, we aren’t behind bars, but some of us are prisoners to our own situations. It’s all the same essentially. We’re just not wearing a uniform. We don’t have a set schedule. We don’t have to deal with being hurt and things like that, but I think it’s that relatability factor. And the fact that Orange talks about so many social issues that other shows don’t.
Like you mentioned, it does really touch on lots of different things, it’s almost like a microcosm of the world at large. It explores race, gender issues, politics, all sorts of things. Does that type of storytelling intrigue you as an actress?
Yes, it does. When I first started acting, I just wanted to act; I wanted to do anything and everything. As I got older and more experienced in the business, I quickly knew that the things I was so excited and passionate about participating in were those stories that were real. Those stories that talked about these issues, that explored these issues. They just started a conversation. That’s really important, just to start a conversation. So many of us shy away from talking about so many things.
Orange is a very serious show, but it’s also very funny, as you touched on earlier. As an actress, do you enjoy the chance to lighten things up a bit, or do you find the darker things more enjoyable to do? Or do you just like it all?
(laughs) I do like it all. I will say that before Orange I enjoyed the darker stuff more. Now, having worked on the show for two years, I like that I get to lighten it up and get back to the comedy aspect of it. Comedy is so hard. It would make me nervous honestly. But, with Orange, I don’t have time to be nervous. I just have to go in and do it. I’ve learned that I love it. I get to play, explore. There’s no wrong or right, you just be. I love that I get to lighten it up now.
Orange has a huge ensemble cast.
Yeah, it’s a lot!
Did you try to ever find ways to make Pidge stand out, or did you have the character actor’s ideal of just wanting to mold the character as a part of the larger whole?
I definitely try to make Pidge pop in my own way, because like you said there are just so many people on the show. There are all these different story lines going on. I could be on screen for a minute, but I need to make the most of that minute. So, definitely, I find my ways to make Pidge pop and give her these characteristics that I can do every now and then.
Now just as a viewer, you went in as a big fan, and now you’ve been on the show for two seasons. Do you see the show differently now that you’ve been on the inside, or do you still just get as caught up in it as you always did?
I still get caught up in it. (laughs heartily) If anything, I love it even more now.
Great! Now with alternative viewing options like Netflix, and Amazon, and cable stations we’re sort of in the Golden Age of television. Do you think that you can do things on a Netflix show or, you’re also going to be going on Sneaky Pete which is an Amazon show, but things that wouldn’t be possible on a traditional network series?
Yeah, I do. That’s what’s changing about television as we know it. There are these other options, viewing options like you said, Netflix, Hulu, Amazon, streaming services. There’s a lot of things that are different. Traditional television, you have to wait a week to watch the next episode. With streaming services, you can just binge watch and really enjoy it. I feel like they also take certain risks that traditional television won’t, just when it comes to the stories that are being told. That’s what makes it so different. That’s what allows them to do certain things TV wouldn't. They’re willing to take the risk. Watching it, and seeing all these different worlds, and stories, and diversity come to life, it’s because of these streaming services.
Like I said, you just got a role on Sneaky Pete. Can you tell us about that role and what you're going to be doing with the show?
I will be playing an elementary school teacher. I’ve already shot my stuff. (laughs) She’s a little sassy. I really enjoyed playing her because she’s so different from Pidge. I’m more dressed up. I’m wearing makeup. I’m not so purposely boring like Pidge is. (laughs hard again) We finished for the second season, and that was an awesome time on set. I’m excited, it was great.
Was that a guest appearance or a recurring role?
It’s a guest appearance, as far as I’m concerned.
Do you think that maybe it could be a recurring role in future seasons?
Yeah, I think it’s possible. You never know. If they find a way to bring her back that would be amazing, because I had such an amazing time on set. We’ll see what happens!
What other things do you have coming up?
I’m always auditioning, so you never know what I might book next. (laughs) I always tell people that. I love writing, and I’m always writing for my site. I also have a blog about beauty, and skincare, and stuff like that.
What is your blog called?
Oh, it’s just my site, www.themiriammorales.com
Great, I’ll have to read up some of your stuff then. What do you think you’d be doing if you weren't an actress? Do you think you’d be a writer, or what do you think you’d do?
I’ve always wanted to be an actress. Before I was an actor, I was in digital media. Social media and digital media, that was my background. Definitely, I think that I would be a writer as well, because that’s what I am now. That’s a little bit different. I’d still be creating something, because that’s just who I am as a person.
What kind of things about you do you think would surprise people?
Ooh, that’s a good question! (laughs) I like country music. I don’t know if that’ll surprise people but… (laughs again) Trying to think, I don't know! I think a lot of things would surprise people. Only because initially, I am a little bit reserved when I first meet people. I’m so observant, so I like to just watch, pay attention, and listen. I think people would be surprised that I’m so hyper, and I like to play with voices, and I have all these random little voices. I don’t know, there are a lot of things people would be surprised at.
Just as a fan what kind of things do you like to watch?
I need a combo. I like intense drama, violence, bloody types of things, but I also like the comedies. If Bridesmaids is on TV, I don’t care how many times I’ve watched that movie I will watch it again, because it makes me laugh. I just love it. I’ve seen Breaking Bad like four times, and I’ll probably watch it again. I love Bryan Cranston. I did try to watch a lot of the shows on other streaming services too.
You just mentioned Bryan Cranston. Did you by any chance run into him on Sneaky Pete?
No, but I was hoping that I would. (laughs) I adore him. I just love him so much. He’s great.
One last question to round things off. If you could go into the future and look back at your acting career, how would you like for people to see it?
Oh, wow, you’ve got some really good questions. (laughs) I would want people to see it as a career of constant growth, authenticity to who I am as a person, and representative of my people: my Afro-Latina community.
Copyright ©2017 PopEntertainment.com. All rights reserved. Posted: July 25, 2017.
Photos 1-3 © 2017 JohnGuira Photography. Courtesy of David Lust PR. All rights reserved.
Photo 4 © 2017. Courtesy of Netflix. All rights reserved.
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