#nqotb

[artificialqueens]

Trixie and Katya's Excellent Playlist - Dancing on my Own - newqueenontheblock

A/N - Hello hello hello! I have returned from the war with a new series, thanks to be consistently inspired by @katyaapetrovna and @fleursverts who kindly share their playlists that correspond with their absolute masterpieces. I’ve been concocting my own playlist over the last couple of weeks to drum up some ideas, and it turns out that I’ve got so many that I can’t fit them all into one story. And so, behold - Trixie and Katya’s Excellent Playlist: a series of one shots in which each story will be based around each song.

This story is based on Dancing on my Own by Robyn, as every Scandinavian or European female pop singer makes me think of Katya, and this song is one of my all time favourites. Male pronouns and drag names on this occasion but this will never stay the same! Be prepared for a little bit of everything. It’s Willam’s birthday, Katya is in his feelings and Trixie has brought along an uninvited guest.

“Take a picture, it’ll last longer.” His drawl carried the last syllable about 5 seconds longer than was necessary.

“I’d rather not. Thank you for averting my attentions, though.”

“Someone had to, you looked like you were about to vomit.” Alaska picked his drink up and let his tongue snake around the straw poking out of his cocktail, letting it settle on his pillowy lips. “So, is this it now? Do we pine in the corners of expensive bars and feel sorry for ourselves instead of enjoying the samples of life?”

Katya turned his neck away from where he had been staring for what he could imagine had been over ten minutes to face his friend. “I’m not pining. I’m just… surprised. I’m surprised, that’s all. Intrigued. My interest is, uh, piqued. Enquiring minds want to know.”

“Oh? And what do they want to know, Kat-ee-yaaaah?” Alaska was getting on the fuzzy side of tipsy now, his drawl becoming more growl-like with each sip of his bright blue drink. He kicked his leg up in the air and lost his balance ever so slightly, falling onto his side on the leather booth seats they had taken up residence on. Katya would have found it endearing if he wasn’t so wound up.

“I wanna know what the fuck he sees in this one.”

Trixie was on the other side of the bar, talking to a guy. A new guy. The new guy. Trixie had propped up against the bar on a stool and was facing Katya’s direction whilst New Guy stood with his back towards him. Katya didn’t mind not being able to see him properly at all. He’d seen a glimpse of his face when he walked in and saw him burrowing into Trixie’s fucking neck and whispering into his ear, so he didn’t need to see any more of him. The other man, however, he couldn’t tear his gaze from. But what was new?

“Oh come on, he’s kind of cute. I would definitely let him suck my dick.”

“That’s not a high standard, you would let anyone suck your dick.” Alaska feigned outrage and threw a straw from his cocktail in Katya’s direction. It hit the floor, obviously. “Besides, he looks like he thinks he’s too masc to suck on some weenies. He’s looking at Trix like he’s a rag doll he wants to throw around.” Katya’s jaw clenched and he grit his teeth, acid seeping its way into his veins. His head turned back into it’s now natural line of sight, catching Trixie fiddling with the bottom of his flannel with one hand and swirling his Whiskey Sour with the other, eyes fixated on New Douche. Restless hands made for a horny Trixie. He remembered that well. “Clearly he must wanna fuck him too if he’s brought him here after two dates. Why did he bring him?”

“Relaaaaaaax, kitty. It’s Willam’s birthday, we’re meant to be letting our hair loose. Besides, this is Trixie we’re talking about. They won’t even hold hands until the sixth date. There’s no way Trixie would sleep with him this early in the game.”

Katya scoffed into his soda.

“Not the Trixie I know.” He winced down his drink as he realised what he had let slip. In the corner of his eye, he could see Alaska’s jaw swung open, off the hinges with shock.

“You’re joking. You’re joking with me!” Katya’s silence answered him. “You didn’t..?”

Katya glanced over and raised his eyebrows, downing the last mouthful of his watered down Pepsi.

“Escandalo.”

“I don’t believe this. I do not. When? Where? HOW?”

“In that order? Okay let’s see, uh - there’s been about ten…ish instances, all with varying circumstances and locations, and I think your mom has a pop-up book that will tell you all the basics of the act of lovemaking so I don’t have to.”

His left ear caught the sound of Trixie using the laugh he usually reserved for people he didn’t find funny but didn’t want to make feel bad and he smirked. He looked back up and his eyes met Alaska’s, which were currently bulging out of his skull.

“You just used the term love-making. And you were only slightly joking. I don’t understand what is happening.”

Katya laughed to himself. Oh well, he’d already said too much. Might as well have some poor fucker to vent to.

“I thought you knew I only bottom if there’s a scented candle or if it’s part of some sweet and nasty love?”

Alaska shot up onto his feet. The generic pop song that had been playing in the bar quietly faded away.

“HE TOPPED YOU?!”

Katya’s stomach dropped as he swung around to see if somehow, everyone had managed to miss the shrill shout that had escaped from Alaska’s plumped up mouth. They hadn’t. There were about twenty people all peeking into their corner of the bar - including Trixie. His eyes scanned through the dim lighting and he saw Katya for the first time that night; he’d been so engrossed in Prick of the Year that the only person he said hello to when he came in fifteen minutes ago was Willam.

Their eyes met and Katya swore he saw Trixie grip his stool to jump off and walk over to him, but he changed his mind before he could blink. All he gave instead was a feeble wave and an unsure smile as Captain Cunt diverted his attention once more with a brand new drink. Katya rolled his eyes to himself before turning his back on the happy couple to face Alaska once more.

“Well gee, Beatrice, thank you for sharing your testimony with the parish. Any other sins you would like to rebuke so publicly?”

“I’m sorry, when I’m in a state of shock I tend to get very loud.”

“I can see that. And for the record, we’ve switched it around quite a lot. I know he always says he’s vers but oh mama does he mean it.”

“I’m literally lost for words. How did I not pick up on that?!”

Katya shrugged.

“Honestly? I guess… we’ve just always been like this with each other just without the actual sex part of it. But now it’s there… I dunno, it’s crazy.” Katya could feel himself on the edge of a ramble, and he couldn’t stop it now. He hadn’t spoken to anyone about this, not even himself. “I’ve never had anything like it. Biggest high I’ve ever had, and I’ve had some fucking highs. And we haven’t even needed to have “The Talk,” it’s just sort of been what it is and that’s that. Back to normal literally ten seconds after. It’s been like eighteen months, I’m surprised no one has found yet. Especially you, he sucked my dick in your dressing room once.”

Alaska screamed, half disgust half amusement. Katya gave a half-hearted laugh back, brain starting to go into overdrive. Alaska saw the smile fade quickly from his face and sat back down next to him, scanning Katya’s eyes. He saw something, and whatever is was made his face turn down with… pity?

“Oh no.”

“What, Brenda, you so shocked that your anus has finally prolapsed?”

“No, luckily that still has a couple more years left before it falls. I can’t say the same for you though.”

Katya’s eyes shot to the floor, his empty soda can, the dance floor. Anywhere other than Alaska’s knowing gaze.

“You’ve lost me now bitch, I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Alaska brushed his hand against Katya’s knee, trying to find some way to rein his friend back in and open up a little bit more. Katya fidgeted on his seat, fingers twitching for the feel of a cigarette around them.

“You’re in love with him, aren’t you?”

Katya motioned to the waiter to bring him another drink, pretending that she hadn’t heard him twice until Alaska coughed to regain his attention. He turned back to look to the left of Alaska’s face - it’s always easier to bare your vagina when you’re not looking someone directly in the eye. He sucked in a breath through his teeth.

“I would say there is a definite possibility that I have been in love with that man since the day I met him and I will continue to be in love with him until the day my rotted, ravaged body gives up and disintegrates.”

Alaska groaned, head leaning down to rest in his hands. He stayed there for a minute or two, head slowly shaking, leaving Katya alone with his thoughts. He picked the straw out of his drink and started absentmindedly chewing on it. Alaska glanced up at him, face screwed up in confusion.

“If you knew that you were really in love with him, like for real, why did you get yourself into this situation?”

Katya exhaled roughly, and realised he must have been holding his breath since he last spoke.

“I guess… I thought maybe if I just did it, my obsession would die down. You know what I’m like, I wanna fuck someone so bad for so long and then the second I take my dick out of them I’m repulsed.” He glanced back over to the other side of the bar, where Trixie was now introducing New Dick to Tatianna and Adore. He felt a lead boot kick him in the gut. “But not this one. This one had the opposite effect.” He kept his gaze on Trixie, the sight in front of him both calming his breathing and boiling his blood.

“Have you stopped sleeping with other people?”

“Yeah.”

“Fuck, Kat.”

“Yeah.”

“You told him?”

“No.”

“You asked him if he feels the same way?”

“No.”

“You think you should?”

Katya turned back to face Alaska. He could see the glassy look in Katya’s eyes, his pupils singing stories he could never say out loud, and he knew he was fucked.

Katya’s voice came out in a strangled whisper.

“I’m scared that I would lose him.”

Alaska’s shoulders deflated, oozing sympathy towards the blonde. He scooted over to Katya and threw his arm over his shoulder, bringing him into what he hoped was a comforting hug, and sighed.

“Yeah, I know that feeling sweetie.”

They sat in silence for a song or two, Alaska’s arm still around Katya, his thumb slowly swiping along his bicep. After a while, their peaceful reflection time was interrupted by a blizzard of blonde crimped hair and a foghorn voice.

“Heeeeeeeeey cunts!”

Willam was very, very drunk. And he was also the only one there in drag tonight, under his own orders. He slumped down on the seat next to them, dropping his beer bottle as he sat and smashing it all over his stilettoed feet. Completely oblivious to the shards of glass now making their way into his shoes, he grabbed onto the top of his wig and jostled it about, getting it back into formation, raising one perfectly covered eyebrow at the sight in front of him.

“What, we killing ourselves tonight or something?” He stuck a finger out and waggled it towards them. “This shit looks depressing.”

“Don’t worry, Barbra, no blood shall be spilt tonight unless it is for sexual purposes. Sweet Justin here was merely consoling Grandma over her recent menopause.”

Willam dug into his bag and pulled out his compact and lipstick.

“Mazel. Now, you fags need to get the fuck outta my birthday booth. I’m about to suck some dick.”

He started slicking colour over his lips and glanced back over when he realised they hadn’t moved.

“Let me phrase that differently. I’m about to suck some dick, whether you’re sat there or not.”

Katya jumped up.

“Yep, that’ll do it. Come on, let’s go and dance. Mother needs to knock her knees.”

The pair made their way onto the dance floor, saying brief hellos to friends on the way. Tatianna and Adore were in the middle of the floor, doing some kind of pre-choreographed routine to Holler by Spice Girls.

“Lasky, Kitty, over here dudes!” Adore beckoned them over with one hand whilst adjusting their invisible headset with another. They waddled their way through the thickening crowd and all embraced each other in a four way hug. Mel B’s vocals quieted quickly as the DJ pressed his microphone too close to his lips.

“Looky what we have here, ladies and gays - the rightful top four of All Stars 2!”

All four of them laughed, Tatianna giggling as Alaska threw his hand up and clicked towards the DJ booth shouting “See me with them croooowwwns!” Right on cue, Read U Wrote U came blaring out of the speakers, the now packed bar erupting into cheers and squeals. Katya groaned and looked at Alaska, begging her to take pity and let her go outside for just one fucking cigarette.

“Come on Kat, dance. Forget about him just for a moment and have some fun. Lose yourself in the

bop, Grandma.”

Katya nodded. He was right, he needed to let his rapidly thinning hair down and enjoy his night with his friends, and try not to think about the big black sky above him threatening to pour down any second.

His arms started to sway softly, muscle memory refusing to let him stand still. His body knew this game too well, and performance mode was kicking in fast. His hip muscles twitched, knowing they would be needed in a few minutes if he decided to pound his untucked pussy into the floor. For Katya, there was nothing like the release of performing, the way you could pour your entire soul out and only put the bits back in that you wanted to. It was therapy in its most extravagant form, and Katya got paid for it every night. It almost made up for the fact that he needed it every night.

The songs all merged into one as Katya flew free from the tension that had riddled his muscles all night. He imagined himself on a stage; not just a tiny box in an overpacked bar filled with twinks and dollar bills, but a theatre, the Opera House, Madison Square Gardens. He was Roxy Hart on her opening night in Broadway, a beautiful witch of a woman who lured every man with the sway of her hips and the wiggle of her shoulders, and killed them if they broke her heart. He span around in circles, faster and faster, trying to turn his rags into a gown with glass slippers, ready to go to the Ball and be whisked away by Prince Charming.

The clock struck twelve and the lights came up, the signal for everyone to migrate from the swanky bar to the club just across the road. Katya blinked, out of his trance. Alaska was making his way towards the cloak room, shouting back at Katya - “leather jacket, right?” Adore and Tatianna were grafting hard on two Hispanic men they had been grinding on five minutes ago, begging them to join them in the club.

Katya looked around like he had just woken up from the most incredible nap. He had taken himself to another world, and god only knows there were probably twenty people filming his questionable moves as he transported onto another plane, one where he was dancing towards Trixie.

Trixie.

He spun around once more, finding his stool for the night unoccupied. He couldn’t have gone without saying goodbye, right? He walked towards Alaska, who had finally pushed his way into the cloakroom queue and had retrieved their jackets.

“Thanks. Hey, you wanna go next door and carry on the party or dya think-”

He glanced over Alaska’s shoulder at just the wrong time. Maybe the right time. Trixie was five feet away from him; up against the wall, lids fluttered shut over rolling eyes, New Guy’s hands learning the curves of his body quicker than Katya liked. Trixie was sloppy drunk, licking the douchebag’s teeth before he slipped his tongue back inside his mouth. Bile crept up his throat. He couldn’t look away.

Alaska carried on talking, drunk and clueless, Katya nodding slowly to make him think he was listening. Trixie’s eyes stayed shut as The Leech was sucking on his neck, one half of his mouth curling slowly into the lopsided grin that always made Katya’s knees buckle. Trixie was pulling on his earlobe as Hannibal fucking Lecter was working on his neck. Trixie always did that to him, he asked him to do it the first time they were together. His now opened eyes fell on to Katya’s and they could have been laser beams for how Trixie jolted, pushing the bloodsucker away and telling him to get their jackets. His hand came up to his neck, trying to hide the newly forming bruises. They looked each other dead in the eye for a minute, Katya forcing his face to stay calm and resolute. Trixie looked like a four year old who was about to be told off for stealing a cookie by his mom and swear his dad said he could have it. The bar had almost cleared out now, the only sound coming from the muffled din of the people around them.

“I think I’m gonna go home, Alaska. I know when my presence is no longer needed.”

Trixie took a ragged breath in through his nose and opened his mouth. Katya raised an eyebrow, waiting. Trixie clamped his lips shut again as New Guy returned, slinging his jacket over his shoulder with one hand and slapping Trixie’s ass with the other. Trixie kept his gaze on Katya, pleading eyes asking him for more time.

“You ready babe?”

God, he even sounded like a total fucking asshole.

Trixie finally tore his eyes away from Katya, looking at the door instead of looking up at Prick of the Year. He nodded and let him lead him out of the bar, staring at his feet the whole time.

Katya turned to apologise to Alaska, but he was gone. Probably stumbled over to the club, he thought. He put his coat on, adjusting the stiff collar. Behind him, he heard Willam in his sex booth coming up for air.

“Ketchup! Has everyone gone? Good, I don’t like any of those fuckers anyway. Wanna come join?”

Katya laughed, for real this time. A few months ago, he would have been lubing himself up before Willam had even finished his sentence. Now all he could think about was someone else tracing over marks he had created over and over, taking journeys over curves that Trixie had sworn belonged to him in hushed moans in between his stupid pink bed sheets. He wondered if Trixie was picturing him when he closed his eyes. And he wondered what the fuck he was gonna do about it.

“Happy Birthday, you cunt. I’ll see you later, I’ve just realised I forgot to say goodnight to someone.”

#trixie mattel #katya zamolodchikova #willam belli #adore delano #tatianna #angst #nqotb #rpdr fanfiction #canon compliant #trixya

[tokyokookmin]

Your favourite Jikook moments from 2021! Go! (Only from this year, not content from last year that was released this year)

Ooo, interesting question anon. So, I only have to attach 2021 moments which we saw happening irl (vlive/fancams/content from big hit) and not in memories 2020 that was released this year. Damn, this is gonna be hard but I surely will try to find for those moments through my archive and tweets. 😝 I have plenty of Jikook moment which I adored this year, they were wild and loud this year ( talking about the 2020 memories + 2021 ofc ) I might not be able to fit all of them in here so here's a wonderfully edited video by a jikooker ♡.

We are such a spoiled fandom, we had gotten so many content this year! And yes, I confirm that 2021 was a MinKook year. It really was, almost every week you'll see them trending (as they should LMFAO)

My most favourite moment of the year ♡

━☆ﾟ.*･｡ﾟJimin's birthday vlive,a flirtatious vlive.

━☆ﾟ.*･｡ﾟ BE vlive, what can I say, jk couldn't take his eyes off his love.

━☆ﾟ.*･｡ﾟRun BTS episode where JK's mum said ily to Jimin, this says alot about jikooks relationship +with their connection with each other parent and family

━☆ﾟ.*･｡ﾟ In the soop 2 - 😏

━☆ﾟ.*･｡ﾟJungkook holding Jimin for a long amount of time. He's used to it lol.

━☆ﾟ.*･｡ﾟrun BTS, Jimin proudly showing the world that he's gay. We support you two, don't worry bout that!

━☆ﾟ.*･｡ﾟ jikook in LA (concert), jk hands-on jimin's chest, the comfort level..

━☆ﾟ.*･｡ﾟ the eyes ain't lying

━☆ﾟ.*･｡ﾟ NQOTB-Such a soft moment

There goes my limit! Hope you guys liked it!

#bts #jikook #kookmin #jimin #jungkook #jimin x jungkook #bts army #park jimin #bts park jimin #JK #JM #jmjk #jikook 2021

[xavierdesousaofficial]

New Queers On The Block | Phase Two

Dates: various from 15th June - 21st November 2019 (see all here)

Following a host of successful 2018 touring dates and partnerships, New Queers on the Block returns for to Bradford, Blackpool, Hastings and Folkestone to strenghten its relationships with local communities. This time, we are embedding ourselves even more and creating stronger relationships of mutual cooperation, commissioning and developing new artists and communities, but working directly with and from those locations.

Furthermore, we have extended our partnerships to Birmingham (with SHOUT and FIERCE Festival) and London (with Camden People’s Theatre).

Now a touring and artist development project, 2019’s NQOTB showcases full-length live art and dance pieces from renowned performers plus local artists at each destination. NQOTB is also the Marlborough Theatre’s flagship touring project as Brighton’s foremost LGBTQ+ venue continues to build on its successful track record of bold, high-calibre programming.

Commissioned artists:

Oozing Gloop, Marikiscrycrycry, Rachael Young, Sea Sharp, Subira Joy, Kirsty Taylor, Bellez and Adam Frost.

Programmed artists:

Lucy Hutson, Nando Messias, Harry Clayton Wright, Benjamin Sebastian, Last Yearz Interesting Negro (Jamila Johnson-Small), Harry Giles, Demi Nandhra.

Full programme including information on artists, local ambassadors and dates here: https://www.marlboroughtheatre.org.uk/new-queers-on-the-block/

Team

Executive Producer David Sheppeard Creative Producer Xavier de Sousa Marketing Manager Rasheed Rahman General Manager Carmen D’Cruz Associate Producer Lee Smith PR Anna Goodman for Abstrakt PR

New Queers On The Block has been developed and delivered in partnership with Bradford’s Theatre in the Mill, Folkestone’s Quarterhouse and performancespace, Home Live Art in Hastings, Left Coast. New Queers On The Block is funded by the Arts Council England, Jerwood Arts, Unlimited, Esmeé Fairban.

A documentary by Rosie Powell about 2018’s tour New Queers On The Road is available to watch here: https://www.thespace.org/artwork/new-queers-road

#NewQueers #touring artists #hastings folkestone blackpool bradford birmingham

[artificialqueens]

See You in April Ch. 3 - NQOTB (Trixya)

A/N - Hey guys, hope you enjoyed Chapter 2. The Queen of indecisiveness has struck again, and we’ve gone straight in for the kill with “The Talk.” Last Chapter I think I was attacked by a glitch in the matrix and some parts of the last couple paragraphs got cut off so I’ve put them at the beginning here to make up for it :)

Buckle up and experience 4K of pure, unadulterated angst. 

*generic female voiceover artist* “last week on See You in April…” 

He noticed Trixie shifting uncomfortably on his feet and realised his internal monologue of all the things he wished he could say had probably gone on for too long and that the frustration on his face was becoming clear. He couldn’t think straight. He had to end this conversation now before it became an external monologue and he said something to hurt his favourite person in the world.

“Well you know, I’ve never really had a favourite movie… just a top 10 that I watch in rotation.” Katya could feel himself distancing as he always did. Don’t do it. Show him that he’s all you want. “I don’t really believe that anyone ever has just one perfect… movie… for them.” Yes you do. “I think that there are lots of movies that can make you feel the same way that your favourite movie makes you feel.” You can still feel him touching you, you liar. “I don’t think you should get too attached to a film, to be honest.” You love him. You’ve loved him every day for the past three years. “I think maybe you should ask, uh, Dan? Yeah, Dan. You should ask him what kind of movies he likes on your date next week.”

He wanted to punch himself in the face the second he finished speaking. But he had done the job - Trixie was nodding his head and pushing an empty plastic cup that had fallen on the floor last night with his foot. He carried on glancing down at his feet when he spoke, the defeated tone in his voice clear as day.

“I see. Yeah, I think you’re right. Like you said… I need to get out there a bit more. See some more movies.”

Now or never, Barbra. Looks like you’ve chosen never.

*

Six months later

Trixie cautiously put one foot into the apartment as if he were dipping a cautious toe into a cold pool. He had been here so many times, but his mind hadn’t been there quite yet - he was always looking forward, thinking of the next gig, the next filming day, the next date he had with his boyfriend. Boyfriends. Katya stood in the hallway for a second and shuffled on his feet. Trixie could tell he didn’t really know what to say to him for the first time in his life.

“I'm… gonna get in the shower quickly. If that’s okay. I’m super sweaty from the journey and I need to wake myself up a bit. You can make yourself coffee if you want? Uh - pay no attention to the broken mug. That was a thing. I’ll sort it out in a bit.” The blonde man darted left into his bedroom and shut the door behind him, leaving Trixie standing there in solitude without having said a word in response. “Uh, yeah, sure. See you in a minute” he called out and made his way into the lounge.

He had never paid enough attention to the minute details of his friends apartment. Did he always have this record player? What records did he even play? He was pretty sure they didn’t put German industrial house onto vinyl but if anyone could find a copy, it would be Katya. He gazed around now to the nooks and crannies that he had never thought to dissect; the stack of videotapes containing grainy footage of all the Russian Olympic gymnasts of the 80’s and 90’s in the corner, a collection of crystals soaking up the ever-cascading sunset on the window ledge, the cowb– the cowboy hat. Trixie had worn it the day she was eliminated (for the second time) from the show that had crashed their lives together. And now it was here, on the wall, right above his head and the couch. A faltering beam of sunlight was coming through the window, and Trixie could see a couple of hairs in the light that were stuck in the weave of the hat that had come from the dark wig she wore that day. He reached out to touch it, but it was just out of his arms reach. Seems fitting.

He walked into the kitchen and padded over to the coffee machine. I pay $300 for this and that fool hasn’t even learnt how to put the beans in properly?” He should have known better than to buy the older man something like this to impress him, such a fuss. He was far too free-spirited to be in awe of a coffee machine. Trixie watched the coffee drip down into the jug laboriously and eagerly poured himself a mug as soon as it was done. The hot liquid coated his empty stomach like a fur coat in winter, and he could feel the caffeine take a hold instantly. God, when did he last eat? Or sleep for longer than half an hour? He couldn’t even tell you what day it was. The past 6 weeks had just felt like… a permanent Monday.

He heard the bedroom door click open and Brian walked in, vigorously drying his hair with a towel.

“Penny for your thoughts, mama? Wanna tell me what you’re thinking?”

Trixie stared up at the man in front of him. He tried to look for any physical signs of what might have happened to him over the past 6 weeks, but all he could see was his silly little soulmate standing there with a silly little grin on his face. It was always a surprise seeing him in his most natural state, stripped of all the paint and cloth that turned him into the Russian woman he met three years ago. He still found it incredible how the man could transform - not just physically, but characteristically, and still remain the same fantastic human being with those piercing blue eyes that sucked him in every damn time. He stared into them until they started staring back with an inquisitive squint and he remembered that he had been asked a question. He shook his head, partly in answer and partly to snap himself out of it. He had to try and stay focused.

“If I did, we would be here forever.”

“I’ve got time.”

The younger Brian bit his bottom lip, pondering where to start. He had envisioned seeing his friend again so many times, laid awake imagining where he might be and what he might be doing, but he hadn’t exactly thought through what he was going to say when he saw him. Being the rational and chill woman he was, Trixie had spent pretty much every night panicking that Katya was somewhere in the world doing something, or someone, he shouldn’t be. Getting himself in trouble. Doing things he had been strong enough to not do for a long time. He had tried calling his phone every day, and every day he would hear the same voicemail of Katya saying some shit in Russian and then laughing down the end of the receiver, followed by the inevitable beep to leave a message. He hadn’t expected the phone to actually ring today, so when it did he panicked and made his way to his apartment as quick as he could. He saw his friend get out of Amy’s car and make his way inside from the bar across the road, and decided to wait a while until he followed him in. He got to the door, froze, and sat down to collect his thoughts and calm the fuck down. That’s when Katya had opened the door.

“Where were you going?” He finally asked the blonde.

“You mean where have I been, or…?”

“No, I mean just now. When you opened the front door, you looked like you were in a rush to get somewhere.”

“I was, but it just so happens that it doesn’t matter now.”

Trixie’s mouth twitched into a slight smirk as he hoped that meant he had been on his way to see him. Then he remembered he was the one that was supposed to say something next and his tongue suddenly forgot how to work. Katya looked at him intently, reading his face.

“So. One hundred and sixty five texts, huh? Were you trying to get an advertising deal with AT&T?”

“You think I’m some kind of animal? Verizon, bitch.” Katya’s wheezing laugh broke the tension and Trixie found himself smiling properly for the first time in weeks. He could always count on his best friend to laugh at him as well as with him. “Listen, I… uh…”

“…You wanna know where I’ve been and why I’ve been there?”

Trixie was taken aback by how willing Katya seemed to be to have this conversation.

“I mean… yeah. But what I was actually gonna say is I know that it’s not my business. And I know I shouldn’t have been so caught up about it. I was just so scared that you weren’t okay that I went a little bit, uh… well, bat shit crazy would be a good phrase.”

Trixie could feel his cheeks warming up as he remembered some of the things he had done over the past six weeks. He’d never listened to more Johnny Cash in his life, he’d been performing to Lana Del Rey songs, he was drinking almost every day. He told everyone it was because Dan had broken up with him but only he knew that he hadn’t really cared about that at all. He knew what Dan was going to do the minute he walked into his apartment that day, and he just sat there staring at the blank television screen and playing with a hangnail. He barely even listened to what he was saying to him, the reasons he was giving. Because he knew why, they both did. He let him finish, picked up the bag his now ex-boyfriend had already packed with the stuff Trixie had left at his apartment and left without so much as even looking back. He had never felt so… relieved. Relieved that he didn’t have to carry on pretending. That he didn’t have to be the one to break it off and look like the heartless dickhead. That he didn’t have to keep closing his eyes to imagine blue ones staring back at him and blonde locks of hair twisted into his fingers in the dark heat of the night.

A cough from the blonde jolted Trixie back into his stream of consciousness. Brian was nodding in slow motion to himself, the cogs of his brain visible in their desperate efforts to think of what to say next.

“I wouldn’t say that is entirely true. I do think it is partly your business where I go, especially if I just fuck off like that. So I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. But you know me, mama, I’m a creature of impulse.” Brian flipped a lighter over and over in his hand as he spoke. He shuffled on his feet restlessly before he jumped up on the side, and Trixie knew he was trying to control the anxiety that was starting to brew, as it always did when a conversation between the two turned serious. “Where do you think I went?”

“I thought you might have gone home at some point. I did a gig in Boston three weeks ago and I went to your mom’s house to see if you were there.”

“Oh yeah, Amy told me about your little visit.” Trixie looked up to find Katya smirking at her. He’s enjoying this, isn’t he?

“Oh man. Can you tell her I’m sorry? I really shouldn’t have pestered her like that, with all the emails and the texts and the -”

“- drunken phone calls?”

Fuck. “I forgot about that. For god’s sake, I’m a mess. I… I called you too, didn’t I?” Foggy recollections were now making their way back into Trixie’s mind. A bar in Tennessee, a whole bottle of bourbon, a random dirty blonde guy with blue-ish eyes taking him into a bathroom stall and then Trixie leaving as soon as he realised he couldn’t fill that void. A phone call. Shouting. Wait, he shouted at the guy on the street, right? Or was he shouting down the phone? He cried, he definitely knew that. But was it because the call never went through, or… it was hurting his head just trying to remember.

“Yeah, yeah you called me. You left a voicemail, that was interrupted by a halftime show of you fighting some random dude.”

“The guy! Yes, I remember that. What did I say? Oh god, I don’t even wanna know. If I was a cunt please don’t pay any attention, I was so wasted I would have said anything. I promise I didn’t mean anything I said.”

Katya’s smirk looked like it had been slapped off of his face in half a second.

“Was I that bad?”

Katya snapped back into the conversation and quickly plastered a smile back onto his face. “Uh… yeah, yeah you were a total asshole. It’s okay though. Too good to be true.”

“What does that mean?”

“I… nothing. I thought maybe it was a call from a drunken mind speaking a sober heart, that’s all. But it’s okay, honestly.” Katya poured himself a coffee and chugged it, the nerves showing in his shaky hands. “So, uh, how’s things with Dan?”

“He’s gone, it’s whatever. What did I say on that voicemail?”

Trixie saw Katya’s jaw muscles clench shut, and he knew that his walls were about to come rushing back up. Let me in. Please. He exhaled quickly and shot Trixie an annoyed glance.

“It doesn’t matter what you said, you just told me you didn’t mean it. And what do you mean he’s gone and it’s whatever? Is that what you came over here to talk to me about, that you’ve broken up with him like I’m supposed to be happy about that? It’s whatever? Six weeks ago you were thanking me for covering your fucking tracks so that he wouldn’t find out that you only went out with him because I told you to.”

“What?”

“You heard me. I stupidly encouraged you to go on a date with him and now look at where we are. Six months later and still both just as miserable as we were before. I tried to not see you as much, I tried to keep it on a professional level. I even invited the both of you out for dinner. You argued, he left, I came home with you. Held you in my arms and kissed you to sleep. Looked like a fucking fool the next morning when he turned up with a bunch of flowers and an apology and you were shoving me out of your bed and into the shower before you opened the door to him. I went to the other side of the fucking world to sort my head out, did yoga all day every day to block out what your collarbone felt like on my lips and instead it made me focus in on everything even more. I tuned into my inner core and it turns out you’ve managed to bury your way in there. God damn it.”

Katya jumped off of the kitchen counter he had been perched on and walked into the living room, pacing up and down. He grabbed his Rose Quartz and stroked the smooth side with his thumb. Trixie got up and slowly followed him into the living room, sitting on the couch. He was trying to read the other man’s face for a sign of what to say in response, but he was looking down at the floor and muttering to himself as he paced. Looks like you were wrong on this one, girl. A yoga retreat… other side of the world… because of you.

“So that’s why you left? Because of that night and the text I sent you after?”

“Yeah, it was because of that night. And every night before it. And every day. I can’t do this anymore, Bri.”

Trixie swallowed down a lump that had formed in his throat.

“What, you don’t wanna be friends? You don’t wanna be in my life anymore?”

Katya stopped pacing, and faced the younger man sat down in front of him. He sat down on his knees and stared Trixie straight in the eyes. “I want to be in your life, every single day of it. But I don’t want to blur the lines that you wanted to set and then spend those days watching you with someone else and then feeling like I’m going to have a heart attack every time you break up with someone. I told you to get out there for a bit but I didn’t mean get out there and go away from me. I knew the second I finished talking that day that you would go on that date and fall in love with him. I knew you didn’t want me, it was just because you were lonely and drunk and confused, that’s why I didn’t let things go too far that night. Because I knew you would regret it. But I didn’t know that telling you to go on that date would make you push so far away from me as a friend too.”

“Are you kidding? You pushed away from me!” Trixie knew that came out a lot louder than he meant it to, but the hurt that had built up over the last six weeks was slowly making its way out. The desperation he had felt, the need to see Katya and make sure he was safe had now been satisfied, so he had room for his anger to come bursting through. “You are the one that pushed away from me after that night in Palm Springs. Gave me all that bullshit about not wanting to commit to one person. Told me to go on the date with Dan. You are the one that spent two months after that trip spending time with everyone else except me. I had to see picture after picture of you with Violet, and I would spend all night thinking about you and your rotation of guys that you can fuck without all this bullshit and drama. You are the one that wouldn’t be in a room alone with me for weeks. Okay fine, I agree, I shouldn’t have invited you back to mine after the argument with Dan. And I shouldn’t have asked you to lie to him. But for the record, he split up with me. I didn’t make that call, he did. He said he couldn’t be with me any more. What the fuck did you expect from me anyway, Kat? You made it clear - you don’t want this. Not in the same way I thought I did, anyway.”

“The same way you thought you did? So you don’t feel that way any more?” Katya’s eyes were now burning holes into Trixie’s with their intensity. Something had changed in the way Katya was looking at him, and a knot formed in his stomach as a lie formed on his tongue.

“No. I don’t.”

“But you’re not with Dan any more?”

“No. I’m not.” Stop staring at me.

“And he broke up with you?”

“Yeah, that’s what I just said.”

“Why did he break up with you?”

Because I have fallen in love with you and I wasn’t even trying to hide it from him after you left. “Same as always, touring got in the way.”

“And you don’t have feelings for me.”

“That’s right. You said it. I was drunk and lonely. And you were just there.” You were there too, Trix. You felt it. You both did.

“And you told our friends that what happened at Palm Springs was just a bit of temporary fun.”

“That’s what it was, wasn’t it?”

“But you didn’t like seeing pictures of me with Violet because you thought we were having sex?”

“N-no, it wasn’t because of tha-”

“-but you don’t have feelings for me? All your outbursts and love songs and texts since I’ve been gone were normal because you don’t have feelings for me? And you said ‘I love you’ down the phone because you don’t have feelings for me?”

Fuuuuuuuck.

“You can say I love you to your friends. I say it all the time.” Trixie’s heart had fallen into his ass. He was surprised he could even form a sentence, his heart was pounding so loudly it was drowning out all thought. Three years of will they won’t they and your big Ross and Rachel moment is one you were too wasted to remember?!

Katya stared at him for a few seconds more, and quietly got up to walk over to the window ledge. He picked up his phone and without saying a word, pressed play on his voicemail. They listened in silence as Trixie’s memories came screaming back to him. Katya kept his back to Trixie as he spoke.

“Forgive me if I’m wrong, but to me that sounds like someone who sounds very confused, conflicted and unsure of their feelings. But it definitely does not sound like someone who doesn’t have any feelings for me at all.”

Trixie’s head sunk into his hands as his brain scrambled for the right words to say. All he could think of was the truth.

“I don’t know what this feeling is, but I do know that you don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone.” Katya turned around. “I thought I had lost you forever and then I couldn’t breathe. I didn’t breathe for six weeks. I’m barely breathing now. But I don’t know what that means.”

Katya exhaled for the both of them, and sat back down on the floor, his back up against the wall. “What do you want, Trix?”

“I want to go home and sleep for a whole night for the first time in almost two months now I know you’re safe and not laying in a ditch somewhere.”

“You’re the one that’s gonna be found dead under a mattress, you pig.” Katya smiled weakly at the younger man. “I’m sorry for worrying you. I really am. If it had been the other way round…”

“I know. I wasn’t done - I want to go home and sleep, and then I want you to come to my gig tomorrow. Last night of Ages 3 and Up, loads of bitches are gonna be there. It will be fun.” Katya opened his mouth to speak, but stopped himself and clamped his teeth shut again. “Just think about it. No pressure, just a friend showing his face to support another friend.”

Trixie got up from the couch and walked over to Katya, sticking out a hand to help him up from the floor. As he helped him up, Katya lost his balance and grabbed onto Trixie’s hip to stop himself from falling. He steadied himself but his hand lingered, and he stared up into Trixie’s eyes intently. Trixie kept the gaze, trying desperately to ignore his knees weakening as he lost himself in two tiny oceans before him. He reached down with the back of his hand and lightly stroked Katya’s cheekbone. The smaller man shivered underneath his touch.

“You should have let me choose now.” His hand dropped back down to his side as he turned around and walked out of the apartment, racing to the front door before Katya saw the salted tracks starting to run down his face.

*

Trixie shut the front door of his apartment and collapsed in a heap on the floor. Katya. The exhaustion of the past few weeks had finally hit him and he could barely think straight. He needed to sleep. Katya. He dragged himself into the shower and allowed the warm water to soothe his aching muscles, finally relaxing for the first time in weeks now he knew his friend was safe. Katya. He turned off the faucet and shivered at the cool air of his bedroom hitting his damp skin. His body remembered just how exhausted he was and he collapsed onto his bed, pulling the covers over him. Katya?

04/04/2017

20:09pm Katya: I’ll be there.

Trixie kissed the screen of his phone and, for the first time in a long time, allowed sleep to take him into aquamarine dreams.

#see you in april #nqotb #trixya #trixie mattel #katya zamolodchikova #angst #rpdr fanfiction #canon compliant

[artificialqueens]

See you in April (Chapter 2)

A/N - Hey guys, I’m back back back back back again! First of all thank you so much for the lovely feedback I received for Chapter 1, and I’m ever so sorry that this has taken so long - I won’t bore you all with the details but I have a lifelong medical condition that can sometimes flare up quite badly and I was all ready to finalise this chapter and submit it then bam, emergency surgery and 3 weeks in the hospital for me! But I’m back home now and ready for you guys.

Also, whilst I was in the hospital I got a bit carried away and this chapter ended up being close to 10,000 words… so I have split it into two parts and Chapter 2.5 will be with you soon. I would find the link for Chapter 1 in case you missed it but I’m clueless on my phone, but I’m sure you can find it in my author tag! For now, Chapter 2/2.5 is taking you on a long and angst ridden journey right back to where it all began, 6 months before Trixie steps into Katya’s apartment and has “the talk.” Backstory come through!

7 months ago

“And… cut. Great work today ladies. Tomorrow we just have the Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years videos to shoot and then we’re wrapped for the season!”

“Yes, gawd. Thanks Petey, you beautiful little whore.” Katya always lived up to her name as the sweatiest woman in show business but today she could feel her face slowly sliding off and the edges of her wig giving up on her. She looked over to Trixie fanning herself, looking as pristine as ever. “Come on, I’m literally 5 minutes away from drowning in my own liquids and I’m sick of you always looking better than me. Mother, let’s become real boys again.”

The two queens made their way into their shared dressing room and started wiping, pulling and untucking away their alter egos. Before long, two men were staring back at them in the mirror.

Trixie looked at himself in the mirror. He took his hands to his face and started using his fingers to contort his skin. “I can’t even make fun of you for being ancient anymore. I look so old and busted.”

Katya’s mouth dropped open. Is he fucking with me? He had never seen the younger man look better in his life. He had lost weight, toned up, was watching what he ate. He was gorgeous - but then again, Katya had believed that since the moment he saw him. It was just now the rest of the world agreed with him. “On one hand I wanna tell you the truth and say how fucking incredible and perfect you look, always, so that you feel better about yourself, and on the other hand I wanna agree with you and tell you that you look awful so that you will fall into my arms because you think no one else will ever want you.”

Trixie threw a breast pad at Katya and it hit him right on the face. “Bitch! You wish you could have me.” Yeah, I wish I could. “I just need a holiday or something. I’m tired of spreading fake tan all over my body, it smells like balls.”

“And you don’t like that? That’s the only reason I use it! You know the last time I went on holiday? Rehab. That’s the honest truth. I don’t even think I’ve had more than 4 days off in a row since the show. I wish I could you just fuck off to, I don’t know, Palm Springs or something.”

Trixie put down the bag he was packing, and gave Katya a familiar smile that told him he had an idea brewing.

“Why don’t we?”

“Why don’t we what?”

“Fuck off to Palm Springs.” Katya threw her a raised eyebrow. “I’m not joking, bitch!”

“Oh, at all.” The pair collapsed onto the couch in the dressing room, laughing at their simultaneous response. Trixie threw his legs up onto Katya’s lap and relaxed back onto the cushions. Katya rested his hand on the top of Trixie’s thigh and gave it a comforting squeeze. It was funny, Trixie had expressed time and time again how much he hated people getting in his personal space and having too much physical contact with other people, but he was never that way with Katya. Katya had noticed how easily Trixie would grab his hand and stroke his palm with his thumb, move Katya’s arm and wrap it around his shoulder, or stroke his hair when Katya was resting his head against him. He was always open and relaxed around him, and Katya was the same. He would find himself gravitating towards Trixie wherever they were and whoever they were with. It felt weird to see Trixie sit next to anyone else other than him, and he remembered more than one argument had with Trixie when Katya had sat next to another queen instead of him. If Trixie were to go on holiday without him he would get jealous, so…

“Why not? A little staycation might do us both some good, Barbra. When do you wanna go?”

“End of the month? We’ve both got gigs for the next 10 days but then we also both have 2 weeks off right after. It makes sense.” The grin on Trixie’s face was growing wider and wider with every sentence. “Are we going or what?”

“We’re going, kid. Pack your bag and bring your best tits. Let’s go have some fun.”

Six and a half months ago

Trixie opened the door on his side of the cab and thanked the driver for helping them with their bags. Katya was already up on the short wall in the front of the yard, doing handstands and jumps. This goof hasn’t been here 5 minutes and she’s already running around like a toddler. Trixie couldn’t help but smile at his flexible friend. He’d been through some real dark times in his life and yet here he was; positive, driven, fun, and with the most beautiful and genuine smile Trixie had ever seen in his life. He adored the older man and cherished being able to see his happiness finally shine through.

“Come on you old bitch, I know you’re excited but I’m not carrying your bag too.”

“Excuse me, Miss Fitness Journey Mattel. You bring the strength now, and I bring the personality. And the condoms and lube just in case.” The older man shot him a wink and left Trixie standing outside the front door, wondering whether he wanted it to be a joke or not.

The days passed in a happy blur. The two men spent the days lounging around by the pool in the house they were staying in, soaking the sun into their pale and over worked skin, relishing the daily change in colour and counting each new freckle that popped up. Trixie spent every day noticing just how much happier his friend was with every morning he woke up there; his skin glowing, his eyes getting brighter, his laugh somehow getting louder. He had never looked better. Or hotter. Their evenings were split between strolling to a new restaurant and coming back to the house to write some new material or introduce each other to films they had never watched. The older Brian forced his younger counterpart to sit through A Streetcar Named Desire, which Trixie concluded people only raved about because of Marlon Brando’s face. Tonight, however, was Trixie’s turn, and there was only one film he had in mind - Mean Girls.

“For fuck sake Brenda, you know I turned this off after 10 minutes and vowed to never watch it again. I refuse!”

“Uh uh, you know the rules. No refusals, no exceptions. Sorry ‘bout it.”

The older Brian groaned. “Fine. But I’m smoking a joint. It’s the only thing that will get me through it.”

“Well in that case, I’m gonna get drunk. Thank god I bought some margarita mix.” Trixie got up from the couch and made his way into the kitchen, and started on his cocktail creation. He hadn’t been drinking whilst they had been there, in solidarity with Katya. He was proud of him for resisting the enticement that often came with their line of work - at least when it came to alcohol anyway. Katya tended to seek out more physical pleasures when coming off stage instead, often taking trade back to the hotel whilst Trixie stayed in the room next door and heard it all. He would hear muffled footsteps at stupid o'clock in the morning and the click of the hotel room door as whoever it was disappeared back into the night, and wonder what Katya was doing once he was alone. And then you spend hours finding whoever he had just fucked on Facebook and plot their bloody downfall. And then you contemplate going into his room once he’s showered and showing him how it should really be done. And then you remind yourself that you turned him down a thousand times before in the name of business because you’re an idiot and just jerk off and go to sleep instead. And then you keep it all to yourself because all of your friends are either Asian virgins or have already fucked him and the thought of it makes you want to tear your own eyeball out with jealousy. Trixie shook his head free of the thought. Suppressed feelings had to remain just that. They had to. For their careers. Fuck your career, you don’t wanna be Trixie forever anyway. You want to write music in a big old house that you never have to leave, and any house is boring without him doing cartwheels around it and painting the walls bright yellow. No. It wouldn’t work. That very small window shut a long time ago. He finished off making his cocktail and took the jug and a glass back into the lounge with him. When he returned, a cloud of smoke was already surrounding Katya and he wore a satisfied smile.

“I know you don’t like me smoking around you but this is the price you must pay, Brenda. You can punish me in return.”

The heavy haze surrounding them must have seeped into Trixie’s lungs too, because he was only two drinks in and he was feeling something different to drunk. He felt just like Karen had said on the screen, like he had a fifth sense or something. His skin was buzzing with electricity, his eyes were seeing the sharpest colours, his ears picking up on the calm breath of his friend. Katya was next to him, one arm around Trixie’s waist and the other resting above his head, legs up on the coffee table. His hearty laugh made Trixie’s head jiggle about on his chest, so he moved his head up to the crook of Katya’s neck. He couldn’t see the film now, but it didn’t matter. He hadn’t been watching it anyway. With every laugh, every crinkle of his nose at a bad joke, every piece of social commentary, Trixie had found himself moving closer to the man. He couldn’t stop it, the blonde had magnets sewn into his bones that drew Trixie in without him even realising. And now he was coiled around him, thinking of nothing but how good he smelled and the warmth of his body. You in danger, girl. Calm yourself.

Katya tightened his grip around Trixie’s waist and pulled him in, so that the younger man was now pressed against his side. Trixie nuzzled his face into Katya’s neck and was greeted with a comforting sigh. As he rested, he felt the older man’s pulse beat underneath his lips. It sent a shiver down his spine. He placed a light kiss onto the other man’s neck and got a tiny moan in reply.

“Don’t try and give me blue balls, mama. That’s torture in its finest form. Either suck my dick or get away from me.”

Game on.

Trixie moved his head so that his mouth was up against Katya’s ear, and spoke in a hushed tone. “I’m sorry, I couldn’t help it.”

He knew what he was doing. They had teased each other a few times before, but it had only ever been harmless. But seeing the other man close his eyes and exhale deeply with arousal was giving him all the motivation he didn’t know he needed. “I think I feel a little bit buzzed.”

Katya turned his head to look at the brunette. “You do? You okay, feel sick or anything? I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have smoked so much around you.” The adoration and care that he had for Trixie was always dripping around every word he said to him. Trixie liked it, it made him feel safe. Katya would never hurt him. Unless I asked him to.

“Actually, I feel good. Like, really good.” Katya cocked an eyebrow to show his surprise at what Trixie was saying. “I mean it, I don’t feel drunk or wasted or out of control, I just feel… really fucking good.”

He looked the older man right in the eye, the corner of his mouth twitching into a slight smirk. “Only you could get me to enjoy something like this.”

“Oh believe me mama, there are plenty of things you would enjoy with me.” Trixie’s stomach flipped at the thought of the things Katya could do to him. He sat up and looked him up and down, taking him all in; his grey sweatpants clinging to all the right places, his hoodie zipped up only halfway so his abs were just peeking out to say hi, his short blonde hair messy and wild. He’s always been hot, but… Come on, tanned bod. Those blue eyes that had always drawn Trixie in were now doing the same to him and inspecting every part of him slowly. He was suddenly very aware of the unflattering t shirt he was wearing and lifted his arms up in a mock yawn to show off his own newly forming muscles. Katya’s eyes followed the hem of his t shirt just as he had hoped and he bit his bottom lip lightly. The silence in the room as the DVD turned itself off was unnoticeable - they were saying enough to each other with a single look. Trixie caught Katya’s gaze and held it. He licked his lips and moved himself just an inch closer.

Katya took a long drag of the joint, and blew the smoke into a stream that reached Trixie’s face instantly. Trixie leaned into it, resting his hand on the other man’s forearm and tracing the skin with his fingertips, feeling goosebumps rise to attention underneath his touch.

Do I want this? He wasn’t the kind of person to hook up with his friends casually. But Katya wasn’t just his friend, and everyone knew. Trixie had just never admitted it to himself. But what was stopping him now? He didn’t have a boyfriend, he wasn’t moping around after an ex. There wasn’t anyone to be loyal to any more except himself, and what he was feeling in that moment.

“Do that again.” The older man stared into his eyes for just a second too long and let out a whisper of a gasp as he realised where Trixie was going. Katya took one last drag and placed the joint back into the ashtray, letting it die out. Trixie leaned in once more, and as the last whiskers of smoke left Katya’s mouth, he took a deep breath to prepare himself and closed the space between their lips.

It was instantaneous - the tension between them was so high that their lips practically buzzed with electricity. They were moving, slowly, deeply into each other as Trixie climbed on top of him and wrapped his thighs around his toned waist. Katya had gotten over the initial shock of their lips finally meeting and was trying to pull Trixie closer even though they were already stuck to each other. Trixie teased open his mouth and flicked his tongue inside, greeted with the taste of virgin margaritas and smoke. He needed to be closer to him, this wasn’t enough. Their teeth clashed and noses crushed together as they battled each other for dominance, both desperately trying to somehow swallow the other whole with their hunger. He grasped at the other man’s hoodie and shoved it off his shoulders, doing the same with his t shirt once he had finished. The feeling of Katya’s skin against his was like velvet and he wanted to be covered in it.

This bitch is ripped, oh my god. I wanna lick his fucking stomach, sweet Jesus…“Fuck, you could have told me you were on your own fitness journey too.”

“God bless yoga! You know me, mama, I’m full of surprises.” Katya shifted himself up on the couch so that he was sat up straighter, and tilted his hips up into Trixie to find the friction they both desperately needed. Trixie’s lips found Katya’s once more as he let out a hushed moan. Trixie could feel the other man in between his legs and the pressure was rising by the second.

“You’re telling me… I thought I was the one with the big dick.”

“I’ll believe that when I see it.”

Trixie laughed into their kiss. He wrapped his arms around the other man’s neck and pushed him deeper into the couch cushions with every kiss, thrusting against him with a hunger he hadn’t felt in a long time. Katya ran his hands down Trixie’s waist and hesitated at the band of his track bottoms.

“Off.” Trixie ordered. Closer. Please.

“Yes ma’am.” Katya took off his pants but kept his underwear on, much to Trixie’s frustration, and then took off his own pants so that they both had on the same number of layers. Not close enough. Trixie used his new strength and threw Katya over to the other side of the corner sofa so that he was laying down and crawled towards him, taking in every last irresistible inch of him. He straddled Katya and brought his bottom lip into his teeth, sucking on it, before biting down hard.

“It’s not fair,” he started to slowly grind against the other man’s groin, “to tease me,” and lightly scratched his chest from the top all the way down to the band of his underwear, “and then not get me naked when I ask.”

The bulge that was threatening to burst out of Katya’s underwear told Trixie that he was very close to getting what he wanted. He was aching for him and he couldn’t take it much longer. He wished he could take a picture of Katya’s face in this moment - his swollen lips whispering “fuck” whilst he ran his hands all over Trixie in disbelief. He never wanted to look away. He leant down and skimmed his lips lightly against the other man’s and spoke in a whisper.

“Now or never. I choose now.”

Trixie licked his thumb and slowly traced his hand down Katya’s chest, finally reaching beneath his underwear. He took Katya’s length in his hand and used his slick thumb to play with the head of Katya’s dick. A guttural groan escaped Katya’s throat as Trixie finally stopped teasing him and started to pump him slowly, and he found Trixie’s ass and grabbed it like he was holding on for his life. Trixie’s veins were filled with fire, his whole body burning at the thought of the things this man was finally going to do to him. Katya’s mouth caressed his neck expertly, and he gently nibbled on his earlobe before he buried himself into one final, longing kiss.

“I don’t think you should choose ‘now’ now.”

Trixie’s eyes shot open as he snapped out of his bliss and sat up. “Wha-what did I do wrong? Do you not want this?”

“Bri, you will never fully understand just how much I want this. I’ve wanted this since, I don’t know, maybe 10 minutes after I first met you. And you have not done a single thing wrong. Believe me, the things you’re doing to me right now, you deserve to be fucked until you can’t remember your own name.” Trixie shivered at the thought. “But I want you to choose ‘now’ in a different circumstance. When I know that you’re definitely, completely sober. When you haven’t spent an entire week with me. When you don’t feel lonely and desperately single. I don’t want just ‘now.’ I want always, and I don’t want you to regret this.”

Trixie crawled forward back towards Katya and kissed him forcefully, desperately trying to make him feel his adoration. I don’t fucking deserve him. He had never had someone care for him like Katya did; knowing him better than he knew himself, knowing that yeah, he was feeling a little bit lonely and may have ended up regretting starting something when he wasn’t totally sober. But the fire still burning in the pit of his stomach from Katya’s touch had already done it - he knew what he wanted. And he was prepared to show him that in any circumstance.

“I get it. You’re right, not now. But soon. And FYI - I’ll do the same things to you in any circumstance.” Trixie climbed off the other man and found his track bottoms to put back on. As he looked back up, Katya was staring at him and biting down on his bottom lip.

“Oh god Brenda, I hope you do. I cannot believe I just controlled myself like that, you are a work of art.”

“Drink it all in bitch.”

“Oh, I plan to.” Katya threw a pillow at him as he found his own shorts and put them back on. They fell back onto the sofa and Katya curled his arm back around Trixie’s waist and pulled him closer. He placed a soft kiss on Trixie’s lips, then his nose, then his forehead. “A work of art.”

Trixie fell asleep in his arms.

The next morning

Katya woke with a familiar dryness lying uncomfortably on his tongue. God damn it, weed really does turn your mouth into the fucking Sahara. Somewhere behind him he could hear running water, and a dulcet tone singing a Dolly Parton song. He leaned back into the sofa with a smile, remembering what had happened last night. He straddled you, Barbra. Practically begged you. And you held your ground? You fool. You could have gotten some grade A dick that you’ve been waiting for since 2014 and you decided you would rather wait until he wasn’t as lonely? You realise that you’re basically telling him he needs to go and fuck someone else first, right?! No way, he wasn’t going to get in his head about this. He had been waiting for so long for Trixie to get rid of his shitty boyfriends that treated him like dirt and admit the way he felt since literally the day he had met him. He wasn’t going to have it all begin with some second hand smoke and a lonely fumble at 2am. He could wait a little while longer. He reached over to the coffee table and picked up his phone.

08/10/2016

11:23am Katya: Happened. Kind of. Not really. But he started it and I said no. Wanna wait.

Alaska: Boots. How is she though?

Katya: You mean the dick? Didn’t get to it. Put the Palm in Palm Springs for me though.

Alaska: Interestiiiiiiiiiing. You owe me 5 bucks.

Alaska: And don’t make him wait too long. He’s hot and a romantic so the first cute guy that comes along with a flower or a burrito or some shit will distract him for another 6 months and then you’ll be back to square one (which reminds me, I’d like to take a minute to talk about Squarespace)

Katya: True. I just knew he would overthink it and then come up with ways to regret it. You got any ugly friends we can set him up with so he realises I’m numero uno?

Alaska: I’ll see if Sharon’s free.

Katya yelled at the text with glee. Alaska had been right, Trixie really did feel something for him. He could still feel his kiss lingering on his mouth. That had to mean something, right?

As he placed his phone back down on the coffee table, he saw Trixie’s light up next to it. He glanced over and saw a text flash up on the screen.

08/10/2016

Dan Bar: Hey Brian, it’s Dan from Essence on Friday. I hadn’t heard from you since we switched numbers and I just thought I would make a last ditch attempt at asking you out. I know you’re going home today but I’m gonna be in WeHo a week from Thursday, so hit me up if you’re free and willing to waste some time on me. x

And just who the fuck is this? I don’t know a Dan. Does he know a Dan? From Friday? And then suddenly he remembered - they had gone out to a bar on Friday, and this short Jewish guy had been eyeing up Trixie all night. He was cute, sure, but he hadn’t been Trixie’s type at all. He didn’t have a chance with him, right? Well, I’m not Trixie’s type either… What was he gonna do if Trixie actually went on a date with this guy? He had basically told him that he wanted Trixie to not be starting something with him just because he was lonely. So maybe this would be perfect - he could go out with this guy on a couple of dates and boost his confidence up, and then come straight back to Katya’s apartment after date number three and finally fuck his brains out. That could work. Man, I should have fucked him last night so that he knew just how great it would be with me before I basically send him on a date with someone else. Didn’t think that one through, did you Barbra?

“I swear to god, that water pressure is so powerful that if you could move that shower head around I would use it for sexual pleasure.” Trixie came out of the bathroom wearing just a towel wrapped around his waist.

“Oh god. Oh my fucking god. If you stand in front of me like that for one more fucking second I am going to go back on my self-control and test out that shower head theory with you right now. God damn it you bitch, trying to give me a boner at this time in the morning.”

Trixie shot Katya a lopsided smirk. “My plan is working, I see.”

Oh god, now he’s teasing you on purpose. You sure you wanna be the bigger person? Because I’m pretty sure you could just bend him over that breakfast bar right now and– 

“You bet your ass it’s working. You cunt. Now go and pack my bag, we need to be out of here by 2.”

“Nice try. Do it yourself, whore.”

“I’ve already done myself this morning after the blue balls you gave me last night, mama.”

“Excuse me, if I had got my way you would be feeling very satisfied and have balls lighter than a feather this morning. So go pack.”

The pair erupted into laughter from across the room, and shared a complacent smile. Katya was relieved that nothing had changed between them. Trixie walked towards him and picked up his phone from the coffee table. Here we go. He watched as Trixie picked up his phone and read the text, face giving nothing away. He peeked in the direction of Katya for half a second and then locked the screen, seemingly without replying. Katya couldn’t help himself.

“Anyone interesting texted you?” Clever. Now you’ve made it obvious you looked at his phone. He looked over at Trixie with a smile he knew was nowhere near as casual as he was trying to make it.

Trixie smiled back knowingly. “Mmhm. The guy that came on to me on Friday, remember I gave him my number? He’s asked to take me out next week, he’s gonna be in WeHo.”

“Ah, cool. Yeah, that’s cool. Coolcoolcool.” Katya opened his can of Red Bull and drank the whole thing in one go, as slowly as he could. Great delay tactics there, Brenda. Really looking like you’re not jealous at all. “So you’re gonna go then, huh?”

“That depends.”

“On what?”

“On you.”

Katya finally allowed himself to look up from his can and at Trixie’s face. He had just a hint of a smile resting on his face, but the sincerity of what he was saying shone through. This wasn’t the time for joking.

“On me?”

“Yeah, girl, you. Are we gonna… watch Mean Girls again or will you have a new favourite movie by next week?”

And there it was. Trixie was never going to really put his all into whatever could be here because of Katya’s past. He didn’t think he would be capable of anything more than being the “sexually fluid and committedly promiscuous trade Slut” he had been for the past few years. What the fuck was I meant to do while you were going through a parade of cunty guys who treated you like shit? Sit there and wait until my dick fell off for you to realise that you may possibly have a great catch over here? Not my gay ass, mama. And if I’m so unreliable, why did YOU start things last night? And why was I the one to be sensible? And why can I still only think of your fucking fingertips tracing my skin and making me feel like I was on the biggest trip of my life? How is that healthy for either of us? He noticed Trixie shifting uncomfortably on his feet and realised his internal monologue of all the things he wished he could say had probably gone on for too long and that the frustration on his face was becoming clear. He couldn’t think straight. He had to end this conversation now before it became an external monologue and he said something to hurt his favourite person in the world.

“Well you know, I’ve never really had a favourite movie… just a top 10 that I watch in rotation.” Katya could feel himself distancing as he always did. Don’t do it. Show him that he’s all you want. “I don’t really believe that anyone ever has just one perfect… movie… for them.” Yes you do. “I think that there are lots of movies that can make you feel the same way that your favourite movie makes you feel.” You can still feel him touching you, you liar. “I don’t think you should get too attached to a film, to be honest.” Now or never, Barbra. Looks like you’ve chosen never.

#see you in april #trixya #trixie mattel #katya zamolodchikova #angst #smut #tw drugs #tw alcohol #nqotb #rpdr fanfiction #canon compliant

[artificialqueens]

See You in April

Hey guys! So, this is my first ever submit so please, be open with me and give me any and all prompts/criticisms/feedback, all will be greatly appreciated. The name’s New Queen on the Block, but no one has time to type that out so NQOTB will do just fine!

I’m currently working on a couple of one shots and possibly another series, but for now I’m planning this as a three-parter (unless you all hate it, in that case I shall never write a word again.) But for now, here’s some real-world Trixya angst, technically set in the future as it is set after Katya comes back from her current social media break and was inspired by Trixie’s comment on her Insta post explaining her impending absence. For any eagle eyed readers who may remember my ask, this will also incorporate Trixya’s original music that she has been performing on her Ages 3 and Up tour. At the moment it’s Katya’s POV, may switch it with each chapter. And don’t worry, there is plenty of smut and fluff in the works to please as many people as possible! Enjoy :) 

The door of the plane opened and the Los Angeles heat smacked Brian in the face immediately. The last six weeks that he had been in Thailand had been during monsoon season so he had almost forgotten what the sun felt like on his paling skin. He drank it in whilst making his way into the airport and let a small smile creep onto his face. Home.

He always had the luck of being the last person left at baggage claim, so he sat himself down and switched his phone on for the first time in almost two months and prepared himself for the tide of messages to start coming in. Well fuck me, Barbra, people really do give a shit about you. 347 unread texts, 1,409 unread emails (that his assistant said she would handle, the cunt) and more tweets and DM’s and mentions than he could ever possibly count. This was going to take days to sort through. He quickly tapped onto his inbox and scrolled through to find the people he wanted to text to let them know he had landed safely - his mom, his sister, and his assistant. They were the only ones that knew where he had been so for now they were the only ones that needed replying to. Still, his eyes darted around looking for one other name to see if contact had been made. It had. But he couldn’t deal with that right now.

“Uh, excuse me, you’re Katya right?” A young girl he had recognised from the departure lounge in Bangkok came up to him and looked sheepishly at the ground after she finished speaking. She obviously knew he was still taking his break and didn’t want to hound him, which he thought was incredibly endearing.

“I sure am Mom! What’s up doll?” He tried to make himself sound as cheery as possible even though the thought of being asked for a selfie right now made him want to yank his own eyeball out. The girl giggled and shuffled in her feet.

“Don’t worry I’m not gonna ask for anything, I just figured that all the red luggage with the hammer and sickle on it was yours and it’s going round on the belt right about now.”

“Fuck, no way! Thanks Barbra.” Brian grabbed his backpack and went to run towards his luggage before he stopped and turned back on his feet towards the girl. He shoved his hand into the front pocket of his backpack, gave the girl one of the tiny hands that was hiding in there, and kissed her square on the mouth whilst he took a photo. “For being so cool, that’s the first picture I’ll post when I’m back on Instagram. Bye princess!”

His assistant Amy was waiting outside for him in her basic white girl SUV. He gave her a hug, threw his luggage in the trunk and crawled into the back seat and spread out as wide as he could. A 16 hour flight in a tiny cramped seat after 6 weeks of stretching your body and contorting it in inhuman ways was torturous. “Uhhhhhhh, holy suburban family spacious comfort Batman!”

“Alright bitch, calm down. I’ve had your bodily fluids in my car far too much for my liking.” They giggled as Amy climbed into the front seat and headed off towards Brian’s apartment. The conversation stayed pretty normal for a while, with Brian filling her in on everything he did during his trip and all the new techniques he had learnt. Amy filled him in on what had been happening on How To Get Away With Murder and all sub-par Hollywood gossip. She was just in the middle of explaining Annalise Keating’s newest weave when Brian could feel his phone vibrating in his pocket. He figured it was his mom calling so excitedly took his phone from his pocket and signalled for Amy to pause the conversation. When he saw the name on the screen, his heart fell into his ass. I’ve been back not even an hour. What the fuck?

His face must have dropped because he could see Amy looking at him out of the corner of his eye. He stuffed his phone back into his pocket and turned the music up on the radio. Amy reached over and turned it down again. Oh good, I’m not getting away with it.

“You gonna pick up at all or is this it now?” He couldn’t quite pick up on the tone in her voice but he knew she was trying to edge very carefully around the conversation.

“I don’t know. I’ve been back not even an hour, I don’t wanna deal with that shit right now. It’s why I took off in first place, Ames.”

“I get that, I totally do. But I just wanna say… the reason I haven’t got through your emails is because I’ve been hounded by him every day. Every damn day. You didn’t even tell him you were going, Bri. He was worried.”

Brian could feel the irritation bubbling up in his stomach. “Why should I tell him? Why has he got a right? I haven’t broken any kind of business agreements, no contracts have been voided, no gigs missed. I haven’t done anything wrong.”

“Of course you haven’t. But maybe… maybe just look at his messages. Just so you know what to expect and what you might start off saying when you do decide to open up shop again.”

He exhaled dramatically because he knew she was right, again. That bitch. He took his phone back out of his pocket and scrolled back to the night where his mind had decided he needed to make a change.

01/03/2017 21:14 Trixie: Hey, I just wanted to say thanks about telling Dan that the whole “you being attracted to me” thing is just a joke for the fans. I appreciate it, especially cos you know how much he is getting irritated by it all now. I think now that you’ve said it he won’t be worried as much. Side note - I need you to keep that tan forever because it was doing the most and I’m here for it. T x

23:03 Trixie: Are you okay, did you fall asleep? Or are you smothering yourself in tan now you know I like it? :)

00:07 Trixie: Bitch.

00:19 Trixie: Mother, I’m getting paranoid that my best friend is ignoring me again…

02:38 Trixie: Okay. I’m gonna try again tomorrow. Or you know, just let me know when you wanna hear from me. I’ll be here.

02/03/2017 08:31 Trixie: Can’t sleep. Had a dream that you totally just stopped replying to all of my texts.

22:56 Trixie: I would literally be okay with you just sending me a blank text right now so that I know you’re okay.

04/03/2017 14:10 Trixie: Social media break?

14:12 Trixie: What the fuck is going on, Kat?

14:14 Trixie: I’m worried. You’re worrying me. If that’s what you were trying to do, you’ve done it. Now please stop it and just answer your phone and let me know what it is I’ve done so I can undo it.

06/03/2017 Trixie: Someone just tweeted that they saw you at LAX???

That was the last text Brian had seen before he got on the plane. He had told his mom, his sister and Amy to not tell anyone where he was going or why, including his business partner and best friend. They all knew why even though it wasn’t discussed.

Something in his mind just clicked that first night - you need to get the fuck away from here, bitch. Away from this. Away from him. He couldn’t deal with the hot and cold any longer. How could you thank someone for reassuring their boyfriend that you weren’t fucking them in one sentence and then talk about liking their tanned body in the next? He couldn’t keep up anymore, and he didn’t want to. No, he couldn’t want to. He knew that he probably shouldn’t have ignored all of the messages but he went into lockdown mode and just got himself away as quickly as he possibly could. Part of him thought if he ignored the messages for long enough they would just go away, but of course they didn’t. They multiplied. He looked at the number in the corner of the screen. 165. One hundred and sixty fucking five texts. Hasn’t this bitch been touring constantly? Every single day, he had texted him a variation of asking him where he was, if he was safe and if there was anything to do to make things right. There were a few bitchy remarks, and apologies straight after them, but otherwise it was the same worry every day. It was the most consistent he’d seen him with anything other than his make up.

“Well, he’s sure held onto this one. If he knew my phone was off and he’s still sent me this many texts then I feel sorry for your phones asshole cos he must have fucked it.”

They pulled up outside Brian’s apartment block. “It wasn’t just me. He called your mom too. Went to Boston for a gig and went to her house asking if you were there. He’s been commenting on old pictures of you two online. And posting videos of him playing old country songs looking like he’s about to burst into tears. The fans have been clocking it, all the queens are starting to murmur too.”

Brian burst into a fit of awkward laughter that quickly transformed into a worried grimace. “Are you for real?”

“I wish I wasn’t. Bri, I think he’s really caught up about you leaving. You might wanna check your voicemail too - he called me two nights ago drunk as a skunk telling me he had called you and left you a message.”

“Oh Jesus, Mary and Joseph and all of his carpenter friends. I’ll check when I get upstairs. Thanks for picking me up, babe.” He kissed Amy goodbye and lugged his suitcases into the building, up into the elevator and then finally through the door of his apartment. He collapsed onto his sofa and took a minute to process everything Amy had just told him. He went to Boston? He’s being a messy bitch all over the Internet? He’s getting drunk and leaving voicemails?

The voicemail. This should be interesting. He put his phone on speaker and played the message as he made himself a coffee to stop this jet lag from taking him too soon. He pressed play - all he could hear was background noise, in a bar or club, some shouting, a familiar voice slurring “fuck you” to someone and then the din quieting down as the other Brian presumably made his way outside of the bar.

“Katya? Katya, did you pick up? Kat? Hellooooo? Answer me you whore. Hey, fuck you buddy, I’ll be as loud as I want my FRIEND IS ON THE PHONE AND I NEED TO TALK TO HIM!!!”

Oh lord, he was wasted. What a sloppy bitch! What was he playing at just picking a fight with a stranger? Brian continued to listen as he found the coffee beans and chucked them into the fancy machine Trixie had bought him for his birthday last year. He could hear some kind of muted shouting as Trixie presumably gave the innocent stranger a mouthful of her whiskey-fuelled frustration.

“Kat, you still there? A-are you there? Answer me… please.” Brian could hear the desperation in his voice and felt a pang in his stomach. He shouldn’t have just upped and left without telling him where he was going. If Trixie had done the same thing he would have scoured the earth until he found him. But that was different - he loved him. He heard a muffled sob and could picture him, on his own, worried out of his mind that he had done something to push his friend over the edge so far that he had to disappear altogether. You’re a real dick, Barbra. 

“I just want to know that you’re okay and that you’re safe. Your mom told me you were and I believe her but I need to hear you say it. I need to see your face, hear your voice, anything. Fucking anything. It’s been six weeks, Kat. Six weeks!” Uh oh, here it came - the Trixie Mattel Drunken Temper Tantrum. “Why the fuck have you left me here for six fucking weeks? Why don’t you want me in your life any more? I can’t deal with this. I have to see you or I’m going to lose my mind. Why would you just up and leave? Don’t you understand that I love you?! I love you, Brian. I love you.”

He dropped his mug full on scalding hot coffee on to his feet, but he couldn’t feel a thing. He had gone completely numb at the sound of the words he had always wanted to hear. He ran towards the phone as if it was Trixie there in person. He had to be closer, somehow. It had gone quiet on the other side as the younger man realised what he had allowed his lips to release.

“Shit. Fuck. Fucking stupid. You’re not even gonna hear this anyway so it’s whatever. Hey listen, if you’re with Violet or Alaska or whoever and you’re listening to this next to them then just… enjoy the laugh. You’re welcome”

Silence.

He stared at the phone for a good five minutes, as if something else might magically happen. When it didn’t, he played the message three more times until he regained the feeling in his limbs and his heart travelled down from the back of his throat. His feet moved before his brain did and he found himself grabbing his keys and heading towards the door. He had to go to him. He threw open the front door and found Trixie sitting on the floor opposite, head in his hands. He jumped at the sound of the door and quickly threw down his hood. The light in the hallway shone down harshly onto his face, showing puffy lids and reddened eyes that couldn’t have slept for the past couple of days. He yanked his sleeves over his hands and got up sheepishly, glancing up to the older man’s eyes, down to the floor and then straight back up to meet his gaze with a faltered sigh.

“Can we talk?”

#trixya #trixie mattel #katya zamolodchikova #angst #see you in april #nqotb #rpdr fanfiction #canon compliant

[artificialqueens]

Are we ever gonna get more of See You in April by NQOTB??? I just read the first 3 chapters and realized there's no no.4! :( im too invested, please!

#for nqotb #asks #anonymous

[artificialqueens]

Godddddddddd I'm in dying need of a next chapter for See you in April ! I love NQOTB new story but I've read SYIA over and over and need an end for all that wonderful angst fest 😭

#for nqotb #asks #anonymous

[artificialqueens]

Fuuuuck I know it's a one shot but can I pleeeeeease have a part two to dancing on my own that was sooooo fucking good😂 I need it in my liiiife.

#for nqotb #asks #anonymous

[artificialqueens]

Dear gods, I just need more "see you in april." PLEASE.

#for nqotb #asks #anonymous

[artificialqueens]

I'm still holding out hope for another chapter of See You In April

#for nqotb #asks #anonymous

[artificialqueens]

Holy hell NQOTB. Like seriously. Theres a part two right???? That was so much of what I needed. Beyond perfect!

#for nqotb #asks #anonymous

[artificialqueens]

But "See you in April" is so good!! I want more! 😭😭😍😍

#for nqotb #asks #anonymous

[artificialqueens]

Oh my god!!! Wtf with See you in April?!!! It's justo fucking perfect! I mean, all the time we're reading fics about Katya being sad for something Trixxie dic but this is something new, at least for me lol I really love it!

#for nqotb #asks #anonymous

[artificialqueens]

What's happening with see you in April?

#for nqotb #asks #anonymous

[artificialqueens]

To the writer of See You In April, what did Trixie comment explaining Katya's absence? All I could see was the phone turned off?? comment 👀

#for nqotb #asks #anonymous