#nothing compares to the sheer heartbreak i felt when i read this entire part of his lore after giggling because he had gay dads 😭😭😭😭😭 | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

sychjelly · 3 years

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-‘๑’- excerpt 01

彡 From ‟ born from stone, she was a flower in the night ”.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

He can still clearly recall her features and accurately retell them, remembering even to the slightest details like the scar she had on her thigh, obtained through a nasty scuffle with the other gods. She donned a beautiful white gown with golden cranes embroidered in the silk, golden flowers lining the edges and sleeves. On her head would lie a stunning glaze lily, its colors always so vivid and alive despite being removed from its soil.

Her silky white hair was kept up by a delicate golden pin that bore the design of a majestic dragon, accompanied by the many gold accessories that lay in her hair like petals from a cherry tree. Everytime she opened her eyes would be comparable to seeing the ocean, so carefree and livid, full of new things to explore and see. But her eyes had always carried sadness within them, and back then, he had been too young to understand.

Or perhaps he was too naïve instead.

She had the ability to glance into the future, and while she didn't have the strength and willpower of Morax, she would do everything she can to prevent a tragic end, even as to go as far as to beg another god for help. Yet she couldn't prevent the most tragic end of all.

Her own demise.

He can still remember it. Remember everything that happened. Remember the day he had lost her to the corruption.

It wasn't a sudden thing - and he wished that it had been instead, hoped that it would have been short termed. The corruption turned those infected into monsters, beings with no mind nor no emotion. They harbored the cruelest, most ruthless creatures there ever existed, infecting their once pure minds like a plague. It wasn't contagious, as if the virus had a mind of its own, always going for something far stronger than its current host.

It was a parasite.

A parasite that could infect the Gods, but it had been their job to seal away those bad spirits that had been exposed to it. Or even seal the parasite entirely, of which Morax had done and has continued till this day.

He still remembers the day when she had come to him, a gentle smile on her face as they embraced. As they pulled away, he could see the bittersweetness in her clear blue eyes with a strange sense of forewarning. But she didn't warn him of anything, rather, she had told him to promise her something.

"If I ever do get corrupted, please have mercy on my soul and kill me."

He had been shocked to hear that. Completely shocked to the bone.

"I will protect you. I won't let you get infected." He had protested, but all she did was shake her head. Those eyes bore the pain of experience - but of what, he didn't know.

"Please, Morax. It would do us no good if I live as a corrupt being." She continued to plead, her voice shaky.

Not wanting to continue on such an unbearable topic any further, all he could do was nod and promise her her wish. Unknowingly, he had promised her a promise that he'd regret for the rest of his life, for he only thought that the corruption would never reach her soul.

He was wrong to think she would be spared from such a plague.

Decades passed smoothly with no obstacle, until that fateful day came knocking at his door.

It was the middle of the night, where the moon was at its highest, that he heard a loud cry for help in the valleys of Liyue. He had none to do, and decided to investigate. The plea of a commoner that had wandered into the Adepti's territory, he had thought naïvely, but he hadn't expected it to be the plea of a human for a god to save another.

There she lay, shadowed in darkness, cloaked in a black that wasn't her own. It stained her clothes, spread across her body like a plague, corrupting her body and soul with every passing second, the darkness consuming her whole. Only then he truly felt fear - the fear of loss.

How she had been infected, he did not know. But he knew something. He had to help.

He had rushed to her aid, his arms embracing her body as she writhed in his grasp, the darkness gnawing at her skin and bones. Yet her eyes, her eyes still kept the same crystal blue that had always met his with such fondness. Though he knows, he knows that same pureness wouldn't last.

"You promised me something, Morax." She had said to him in his arms, her body trembling like a leaf in the wind. Despite that, her gaze was solid and strong, her eyes piercing through his own with such intensity. He can recall, he knows what she's referring to, but he cannot bear to think of it.

"Guizhong… please, I cannot-" He had begun, but quickly fell short of his words when he couldn't find anything to say. Nothing but worry clouded his eyes, and he found himself backed into a corner for the very first time. He'd do something - anything - but he well knew that once the corruption had its firm hold on someone, it would not let go.

If she had told him before, showed him her corrupted wounds…

Tears stung his eyes like needles.

"It would be better. For all of us." Her hand rose to caress his cheek, a gentle smile spreading across her features. Her smile was a smile like none other, full of warmth and love for him. It was genuine, real… real. But it was short-lived for she succumbed to a fit of messy coughs right after, dark red mixed with hideous shades of purple splattering onto the ground below them.

He couldn't move. Couldn't think.

"I can't let you go… not like this." Was all he could muster, teeth gritting in regret as he felt her body grow colder. He had desperately cast a sealing spell in hopes of stopping the parasite or perhaps even seal it entirely, but the magic in his palm faded whenever he tried.

She was too far infected to cure, but he didn't let himself come to that conclusion.

"There has to be some way. There has to be." His voice cracked with heartbreak as he continued to try everything he could think of, going so far as to cast the most complicated spells at the risk of his own strength. Everything failed, and all Guizhong could do was look on silently as his efforts took no root.

"It won't be long, Morax." Her voice became raspy, rough from the coughs that erupted from her chest. He could hear her lungs wheeze in effort everytime she spoke, and he could feel his heart shatter all the more. The corruption had begun making its way over to her face, infecting her pale cheeks with a dark shade of devilish purple.

"Guizhong, please, stay with me." His own voice had turned into a meek one, like a child going to their parents after a horrible nightmare. He lay his hand on her chest and rested his head on hers, his eyes shut tight with heartache. Her hand gently caressed over his, their slim fingers intertwining.

"When I turn, I will no longer be Guizhong." She had whispered in such a quiet voice, her once blue eyes heavy with tiredness. The pain fizzled in her body like electricity, and she found herself losing her feelings in her limbs. All she could do was lift her free hand slowly, up to caress Morax's scarred cheek.

"I know that." He'd murmured, biting back his tears, hand squeezing hers with such desperation. He couldn't cry now. He didn't want her last image of him to be one of tears.

"Then you of all people, should know what must be done."

He could feel his nose turn sour. And he felt something cold roll down his cheeks. He knows what it is, feels what it is, but he doesn't hold back - the emotional pain was like a wave, crashing onto him with such force and sheer impact.

"But you're still you. Please, Guizhong. Stay with me." He pleads, his heart cracking with heartache. Every part of him was pitiful, and he was supposed to be a god of stone. Yet he was shattering, breaking into a million pieces before a Goddess that had failed her own people.

"Time is not on our side, Morax." She'd urged him once more, her own hand squeezing his. She smiled sadly, leaning closer into his chest. Tears soaked into his robe, and he realised that it wasn't just his own. "Always remember that I will be by your side, no matter what happens… even after my mortal vessel expires."

She gave him the brightest smile as she spoke, and he burned that smile into his brain for he knew it would be her last.

As she raised her head once more, her eyes flickered open with an aura of hostility, an unreadable look on her face. Her eyes were no longer the crystal blues they once were - now they harbored nothing but the effects of the corruption. They were purple, black slitted, and there was nothing but hatred and anger that flared within like a wildfire.

It was then Morax knew for good that she was gone.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ this post is just to kick start things. this is but a small excerpt of the 4k words i wrote while sleep deprived :D

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ anyway, hope you enjoyed, if you’d want to read the entire thing, link is here ✦ !

#genshin impact #genshin #genshin writing #fanfic #genshin fanfic #zhongli #guizhong #zhongli x guizhong #guili #reminisence #morax #angst #genshin angst

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3500things · 5 years

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national coming out day 2019

originally posted 10.11.2019 on my personal facebook page

To everyone:

National Coming Out Day is today, Friday October 11, 2019.

And I know this post is late. I realize it is after midnight on the east coast so technically it isn’t National Coming Out Day anymore, but something happened tonight that was monumental- and I didn’t get to finish my initial thought while writing earlier. Keep reading, please:

I am excited to celebrate in my first National Coming Out Day, in 2019, as an officially-out member of the gay community. However, today has been very emotional as it causes me to pause for a moment and reflect on my own journey and how I arrived here. As I am reading articles and newsfeeds on the internet today and seeing people compelled in the acceptance and encouragement of this day, to come out, I must say I have very pointed and mixed emotions.

I have mentioned and identified myself as a gay man in a few blogs that I have written recently (that I am sure nobody reads), however, this is really the first time I have publicly acknowledged it as a whole on Facebook- other than to those who I have directly come out to. I have taken pleasure in promoting myself as an ally for a few years now, but I am tired of hiding behind that identity and am ready to step out into the light and live a full, unfiltered and authentic life.

I have known I was different for a long time. I felt feelings as a young child that I simply did not understand, and those feelings did not go away- they never have and only intensified over time. I was raised in an extremely conservative-Christian household, taught that being gay was an immoral and unnatural thing, I got the hellfire and brimstone speech and I was encouraged and forced to speak hate towards things that were supposedly against God. And I did those things. And I hurt people. And I never wanted to do them. But, I always knew that I was what I was forced to speak out about.

I became extremely depressed and suicidal in my teenage years. I tucked away my true self and I damaged myself mentally and physically with the rhetoric I was forced to digest. I never felt like I could be me, until now. In this moment. But getting to this point hasn’t been easy. It has been countless therapy sessions, panic attacks, many nights crying myself to sleep and length of time to get me to finally accept myself and allow myself to explore with the God-given (yes, God-given) gift that being gay has ultimately brought me.

Let’s talk about God for just a quick moment. Know that I am a spiritual person but there is no religion here. Not a drop.

You can throw Genesis 19, Leviticus 18 & 20, Romans 1:18-32, 1 Corinthians 6:9-10 and 1 Timothy 1:8-10 at me all day. The Bible says what it says, but it does not mean anything to me personally. The Bible was a manuscript that was written for an ancient time, in an ancient time and does not take into consideration the advancements in human thought and condition over the many years since its inception. The Bible should not be a standard to compare, govern nor should it be used as a tool ultimately control how people live nowadays. Without discrediting the text itself, I do believe there are great life-lessons to be learned from the Bible about love and how to conduct yourself in a more upright way. However, I believe that taking the current Christian argument to the case of homosexuality is the wrong thing to do. And I will vehemently disagree with anyone who does this. It is damaging. It is hurtful and it adds no real value to anything.

Contrary to what religious types will argue, being gay is not wrong. It is not ungodly; it is not a sin and gay people will not go to Hell- even if there is such a place. Being gay is way more than a physical thing. It is an emotional intelligence, it is the idea of love, acceptance and tolerance that comes with a huge responsibility. Being gay is not defined by who you love or choose to be intimate with or enter into marriage with. It is not a choice; it is a reality, a truth, a tangible thing. It is also a greater expansion of oneself, ones spirit and your ability to express love and accept love.

Saying that I was a repressed gay man until the age of 34 is the understatement of the year. I wanted so desperately to explore my sexuality in high school, when at age 16 I decided that I had struggled long enough with trying to figure out what being gay meant and finally internally accepted that I was.

However, I didn’t have the freedom to operate in or express my sexuality, as a teen in my household, at the time. I got bullied in school for not dating women, so I did, and I eventually married a woman. Several years in, while trying rather unsuccessfully at keeping the charade going and while being accused almost daily of being a closeted gay man- we divorced. I had to lie to my friends and family, I had to create a scenario where I was the good guy and she was the bad guy and she did all these things that contributed to the breakdown in our marriage. I wanted something that I felt like I couldn’t have at the time and I couldn’t be the partner she needed much less deserved. We are both better people apart than we ever were together and marrying her is the single biggest regret in my life.

As I’ve grown older and started to formulate my own opinions and ideas about things, I decided to distance myself from my faith and seek a journey of my own understanding. Part of that journey was finally resolving in this year to come out to friends and family.

I told everyone by the end of July, except my dad. I know his opinion of gay folks- he has made it clear. Nothing derogatory of course, but the ignorance to it shows through sometimes. I also know where he stands from a religious perspective- he has also made that clear. He has accepted my friends who are gay, he wants to meet my new friends who are RubiGirls, see a drag show and he wants to know things or ask things but is sometimes hesitant to do it.

I’ve been on an exposure-therapy campaign with him over the past several months. I put a pride flag in my bedroom, some drag queen paraphernalia went on display, I went to 2 Pride celebrations this year- one in Dayton and the other in Cincinnati. He knows what I’m doing is out of the ordinary for me because I’ve never done it before but have always wanted to and have been interested in it. I wanted to go to a Pride event for many years, but I just couldn’t do it. So, as I’ve slowly been exposing him to things and being a little more vocal about my standpoints and viewpoints on LGBTQIA+ issues in the news and culture, he has started to gather and form an opinion.

Today, I was reading a page on Facebook that stated it was a moderated safe space for individuals who were not out to talk and share their stories. What I read was heartbreaking; just the sheer ignorance of parents and things they say to their children just for being gay. I wanted to talk to dad about it, and I did. I told him some of the terrible things that happened to people- mostly issues between sons and fathers- and he expressed to me his disgust with families disowning children just for being gay. I understand and fully appreciate his comment of “…well, I don’t understand it totally, but I’d want my kid to be happy and healthy. There are bigger ‘crimes’ than being gay.”

This ultimately led into a 90+ minute conversation where I was able to tell him how I felt and my entire 16-year backstory. There is more to discuss between he and I, but my tone was measured and precise. The main thing I needed to say, in order to heal myself, be true to myself and allow myself to advance in my life were these 4 words: Dad, I am gay.

We talked and talked some more. He is not mad, a little confused (which is a normal response), and more reflective. He expressed to me that he wants me to be happy, healthy and to make wise decisions (typical dad advice). He also said he loves me and supports me, and always will, regardless of any decision I make – good or bad – in my life.

What a relief this is! On my first real National Coming Out Day I was able to finish writing the prologue of my story of becoming the person I always knew I could be. I am starting to write the chapters of my new life around all the garbage that is in the past. It’s a new day and I am ready to face it with the full support and love of my parents by my side. I truly am blessed and lucky to have this experience play out as it did. A lot of people do not get what I have, and I am very fortunate.

For those of you who need support in whatever journey you may be on, reach out to me if you feel comfortable in doing so. I’m a safe person to come out to. If you’re reading this and you have questions, contact me too. I’m an open book- ask away. If you’re reading this, and you have nothing positive or of value to say then move on.

Thanks for allowing me to share my life so unfiltered and express that vulnerability on the internet for all to consume. This goes a long way in my healing and with moving forward in my life. And, thank you to all of those who have supported me in the past several months as I have made declarations to you about my life. Your love and support mean the world to me and I can never thank you enough.

Love, Jacob

#national coming out day #2019 #storiesfromtheheart

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ograndebatata · 6 years

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Gabe and his parents headcanons

Here’s another headcanons post of mine, one that I’d say fills quite an important gap in my headcanons posts.

Namely, the fact that out of the four main characters in the series, Gabe was the only one I never posted any headcanons on.

I’m not really sure what to say to that, other than that I simply kept letting him slip by as other characters took more of my attention.

I hope any Gabe fans reading this enjoy what I have come up with.

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Note: A tidbit from this is inspired by a post from @pizzansunshine on Gabe, namely the element that Blanca would tell Gabe stories about knights when he was younger.

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Note 2: I tried my best to portray the element of Gabe having a crush on Elena in a respectful manner. As I don’t ship this couple, I’m not entirely sure I succeeded, so I apologize in advance for any failure on that front.

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With that out of the way, please click below if you would like to see the rest.

Roberto Nuñez

For much of his life, Roberto Nuñez would be very much involved with Avalor’s olaball team, whether as a member or as an avid fan. But to the surprise of more than a few, he actually had not been born in Avalor, or even lived there until he was an adult.

Instead, he was born in the relatively distant kingdom of Neuquena, to Jairo and Berta, a fairly ordinary couple with a fairly ordinary background. Both of them were bakers, and owned a bakery they had set up together after getting married, a very much difficult undertaking in a kingdom as fraught with problems of all sorts as Neuquena.

One of the few kingdoms in the Ever Realm where magic practitioners hadn’t existed in recent history, Neuquena as a country was still recovering from a very ugly civil war that hadn’t ended all that many years before Roberto’s birth. Economy amounted to a huge mess, the king tried to have so much of an iron grip on his kingdom that he toed the line between harsh ruler and dictator, and much of the population only hanging on by a thread.

Though his family was not one of those in the worst conditions, Roberto did feel the toll of growing up in such a place, with parents too overworked to give him much attention and having to earn his keep from a young age, and constantly arguing about all sorts of things.

The best thing that could be said was that, unlike others, his parents at least made it a point to give him a basic education.

Still, it was far from paradise, and like many children in such conditions, Robert sought an escape, and in his case, said escape was olaball.

All the kids in his village played it, and when his father would let him off work, Roberto threw himself into punching and kicking the ball about and focusing on throwing it through the hoop. When he played, he could focus on something other than his home life.

But he always had to go back there, and while he had learned to value baking and cooking in general, he still did not like his parents’ constant arguments. Whenever they argued, he would get his hands on newspapers or magazines he found in the streets and seek out anything about olaball to distract himself.

Through that, he learned about the Avaloran olaball team, said to be the best in the realm, apparently viewed as so good that they had a whole squad of guards and a magic wielder specifically for their own protection whenever they played abroad.

For years, he dreamed of moving to Avalor and become an actual Avaloran citizen only so he could be part of such a team.

His parents called it a foolish dream, but Roberto was nothing if not stubborn, and he vowed to get there eventually.

Unfortunately, he was not the only such aspirant to olaball, and he would often get defeated by some better players.

And it was after one such defeat that he had a meeting that would change his life.

Blanca

In her adult life, she would enjoy living in Avalor, at least after Shuriki’s downfall, but like her future husband, Blanca Nuñez (née Silva) was born in Neuquena. Her father was Carlos, one of the king’s guards, and her mother was Margarida, a housewife who sometimes did mending and cleaning jobs to help those who needed the services and could afford them.

Her father’s job had a decent pay, but the fact he had to use his salary to provide for three children (of which Blanca was the oldest) and to provide for his crippled brother, sick sister-in-law, and young nephew, made it rather meager in comparison.

Somewhat as a consequence of that, Blanca started helping out around the house from a very young age, whether by looking after her sister Marta and her brother Eloy or by doing some simpler tasks to free up time for her mother.

But her parents did care enough about her future to at least give her a basic education. And unlike Roberto’s, her parents clearly loved each other and all their children a great deal, and while they had their share of disagreements, they never had shouting matches.

Story time was a favorite of the whole family, and when their father was home the children would gather around him and listen to his tales of heroes and heroines from foreign kingdoms who helped improve the life of those around them. Her father’s favorite stories to tell were about heroic male knights, but he would also tell stories about female knights and sorceresses and even brave princesses, which his daughters preferred, and about heroic wizards, which were his son’s favorites.

When she got older, Blanca came to learn that her father’s preference for stories on heroic knights was because that was what he wished to be, rather than someone who had to enforce a borderline repressive regime, no matter how necessarily, and still wished that somehow he would be able to do that.

As unlikely as it could seem, Blanca hoped he would get his wish.

But when she was nineteen, her hopes were dashed, when one day, two of the king’s guards came to their home, stating that her father had died in a nasty confrontation with a citizen unwilling to pay the taxes that Neuquena’s king kept charging.

Unlike many other kings, who charged hefty taxes just to fund themselves, Neuquena’s ruler actually used the heavy taxes he charged for everything he said they were for, to the point he was known as ‘the poorest King in the Ever Realm’. He did not live like a beggar per se, but he certainly looked like one when compared to other royals. All the same, or perhaps because of that, there were those too unwilling to pay taxes, and sometimes royal guards had to be sent to take them.

That often resulted in confrontations. And the one Carlos went through on that particular day was vicious enough that there were deaths on both sides. Carlos’ was one of them.

The whole family was heartbroken.

But in addition to the heartbreak, they also had to face their financial issues. Carlos had been the main breadwinner for all eight of them. Without him, they would be in trouble.

Blanca and her mother did her their best to keep everyone at least alive, if not ideally healthy, but it managed to strain both her physical resilience and emotional reserves, and Blanca would often find herself overwhelmed, especially as her mother started growing more and more depressed with her father’s absence and thus ever more unable to make a contribution. She loved her family without any question, but there was no getting around the fact that providing for so many people on a near single-handed basis took a toll on her.

Sometimes, she would cope by cooking, but on the times she just couldn’t take it any longer, she would take a walk to her favorite fountain and make a wish for things to improve on the worn and dilapidated nymph statues on it.

And in a roundabout, temporary way, one of her wishes came true.

Rainstorm to flash flood

It had been an off day for both of them. Blanca had again been feeling the strain of being the primary breadwinner. And Roberto had just been defeated at olaball by a rival team after a very close game.

By sheer coincidence, they happened to meet at the same fountain, where they had both gone to make a wish, and noticed one another. Neither was particularly taken by the other’s physical attractiveness, but upon noticing each other’s eyes, both Robert and Blanca felt a connection… and Roberto decided to take the initiative and talk.

They ended up spending the whole afternoon talking, and promised to meet again. And as further meetings happened, they eventually started going out. Not very much, because both were busy with plenty of things in their day to day lives, but they snuck in every available bit they could to spend time together.

Neither of the families was particularly supportive. Roberto’s father scowled at the fact his son was wasting time chasing a skirt instead of working in the bakery or improving his olaball skills, and his mother simply had no opinion on the matter as long as he stayed out of her hair. As for Blanca’s family, her mother and siblings would rather she didn’t date the son of a man as bad tempered as Jairo, and her aunt thought she should try to go for someone with a bit more status and wealth rather than someone who had as little to offer as Roberto.

Nevertheless, they both knew they liked one another, and despite the struggles with their family, they did end up getting married, in a small quiet ceremony at a small church attended only by a select few. At that point, the family had no choice but to accept even as they grumbled about how little Roberto had to offer.

By chance, Robert turned out to have quite a bit to offer, when one day, the Avalor olaball team came to Neuquena for a game, as the king attempted both to generate profit and to provide something that cheered up the nation. To make arrangements for that, he put an olaball team together for Neuquena (the first that had existed since the end of the civil war) and Roberto was picked to be a part of it.

Neuquena’s team ended up losing the game, but Roberto saw that everything he had heard about Avalor’s olaball team was true. Not only were they incredible players, but they also had a squad of guards and a magic wielder for protection. Roberto realized that that was his chance, and went to talk to the head guard responsible for the unit to know what he would need to do to become part of Avalor’s olaball team.

He realized there were a lot of documents to be approved if he wanted to achieve such a goal, including the naturalization process, and of course he would have to move to Avalor. But Roberto was determined. From the conversations he had with the players from the team (who were a surprisingly humble bunch despite their talent) it would be worth it, as not only their pay was excellent, but they played plenty of games with teams from many places in the world.

He talked with Blanca afterwards, and she too was relatively excited at the prospect, so, after the months required to get the paperwork (apparently, queen Shuriki was rather picky when it came to naturalizing foreigners) the two of them moved to Avalor, promising to send money from Roberto’s winnings at olaball to their families.

At first, it was paradise. Roberto was doing the thing he loved the most every day, and he no longer had the money woes that plagued his family. He had even managed to use some winnings to open a bakery, which Blanca ran due to her taste for cooking. They were happier than they had ever been.

But over time, they started noticing strange things about their kingdom. The prohibition of music and dancing in particular jumped out, but the lack of public festivals also became too obvious to ignore eventually.

And when they saw a man being whipped for a supposed transgression against the queen (apparently, he’d made a less than complimentary remark about her) they realized just what kind of ruler they had ended up under.

Like they used to say at Neuquena, they had escaped the rainstorm only to run into the flashflood.

While Roberto briefly considered writing home to Neuquena about Queen Shuriki, but Blanca dissuaded him from the goal. Someone like her was bound to have eyes and ears everywhere, and if they tried to warn people back home, not only would their families be the ones paying for it, but a kingdom like Neuquena simply did not have the means for a war against Shuriki.

Though stubborn, Roberto agreed with his wife’s reasoning, and in the end, they ended up staying in Avalor and doing their best to enjoy whatever happiness they could get from their jobs and life, without a specific plan.

Said lack of planning might be the reason why they’d eventually get another source of happiness.

Gabe

Years after their arrival to Avalor, Roberto and Blanca became parents to their only child, a boy named Gabriel Nuñez, known as Gabe to most.

By Avaloran standards, Gabe had a better start in life than most kids. More than one kid Gabe knew had one parents who was either dead or lost to any of Shuriki’s slave camps. Gabe still had both of them with him and he actually had a living enviable by villager standards. Not only did his father have a job that enabled them to not go hungry, but he was actually a fairly popular sort thanks to being an olaball player.

But a perfect life is something that does not exist, and Gabe’s had its rough spots. While both his parents loved him, and his mother generally seemed to prefer to just raise him right and with love and letting him make his own choices, his father was not the same. From the time Gabe was a baby, his father had started visualizing a whole future for his boy, to the point he renamed his bakery ‘Nuñez and Son’ and very much looked forward to teach him olaball.

Gabe started learning both as soon as he was old enough, but while he was more than decent at baking - even if he did not enjoy it all that much - he was an absolute mess at olaball. No matter how much his father tried to teach him, Gabe seemed unable to copy the moves, even as his father started growing bulkier as age caught up to him.

Thanks to his little knack for olaball, he had some problems fitting in at school, as olaball was the main sport the other kids played and no one ever wanted him in their team. His social status and companionship weren’t helped by his not taking part in socially outcasting those of an even lower status than him, namely kids whose parents had done something to draw Shuriki’s attention.

Neither of Gabe’s parents ever joined a resistance movement, and they did not teach Gabe anything special about the Avalor of old - fitting, given that they were not Avalorans. But Gabe ended up learning some of it after noticing the patterns to the things punished by Shuriki, and his parents did share with him some of what they had learned about Avalor, while always instilling into him the importance of not drawing attention to himself.

Needless to say, neither were thrilled to see that, the older Gabe got, the more he wanted to do more than lie low and pray for a miracle. He wanted to somehow be able to make Avalor better. Blanca would later blame herself a bit for telling him so many stories about heroes of all sorts when he was younger. But again, while his mother did her best to support the idea even as she quailed at the thought of the many horrors that could befall him, his father always had to make his opinion known, and as a result, that lead to even more friction between him and Gabe.

But Gabe was as stubborn as his father when he wanted to, and he got his chance when he reached the age of sixteen and, just like every other able-bodied boy, had to do a three-year long stint at Shuriki’s guard. Though he was apprehensive at the kind of things he could end up seeing - and, God forbid, help bring about - he was as determined as ever to somehow help make Avalor a better place.

After finishing basic training, he joined guard duty, and did all he could to help soften the effects of Shuriki’s reign on the kingdom. As a lowly private, he was not able to do much, but his sense of caution combined with his keen eye for tactics had Captain Sandoval promoting him to corporal after a year of service.

Publicly, Gabe would do what he was told and obey the orders that came from higher about. In private, he always pretended not to see many things and accidentally dropped many things that he hoped would help someone.

But he knew doing such things would not be enough to bring down Shuriki. Something greater had to happen.

When Gabe was eighteen, said something happened.

On a day that seemingly had been like any other, besides the fact that a foreign royal family was in town, Captain Sandoval gathered some guards personally selected by himself, of all ages and ranks. The gathered men could only look about as Captain Sandoval paced like a caged animal, his eyes sinking into them as if he wanted to impale them with his mere gaze.

Then, he told them two simple sentences.

“The time to bring her to an end has come, men. Are you with me?”

Gabe was the first to answer, “Yes, sir!”

All the other guards Captain Sandoval had gathered joined him.

And when singing rose from the whole town for the first time in over four decades, they took action.

Between them, they managed to overwhelm those who were on Shuriki’s side and hadn’t decided to simply flee the approaching mass, and Gabe ended up having quite an important role in the battle, with an apparently natural knack for knowing where to direct some of the guards and the best moves to defeat those he fought. The act earned him a promotion directly to Lieutenant soon after Avalor’s true flag was hoisted, when Captain Sandoval reshuffled the guards he felt could stay and brought in new recruits (all voluntary this time). Three other guards (Rico Villalobos, Miguel Leon, and Andres Sousa) received the same promotion, as Captain Sandoval distinguished them as the four guards who best acquitted themselves in battle.

But while Gabe’s mother was proud of him, his father was of the opinion that, with Princess Elena now back on the throne, Gabe could simply leave the guard and come help run the bakery. Or better yet, they could just pack up and leave for Neuquena. He had a great disappointment, as Gabe was now surer than ever that he had found his true calling. While he did not boast or brag, he was proud to have helped release the kingdom from the tyrant who had hurt them so much.

With Blanca’s help, Roberto ended up relenting, and thus Gabe stayed on the Royal Guard; some days later, he would tell Princess Elena upon first meeting her that it was his first day in the Royal Guard, as he did not think Shuriki’s travesty of a force was the true Royal Guard by any stretch of the imagination. However, he would not be lying about it being his first day on the palace, as he had never been one of the guards assigned to guard it.

He also would have to struggle a bit with his crush on Princess Elena, which seemed to hit him like a lightning strike from the moment he saw her.

But over time, even as his crush seemed to not completely fade, for the time being at least, he would learn to greatly value his friendship with her and the blessings it brought to his life.

#elena of avalor #headcanons #headcanon #gabe nunez #roberto nunez #blanca nunez #crown princess elena castillo flores #shuriki

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mothering-silence · 7 years

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That Tuesday. I remember not quite sleeping that Monday night, I was on google during every feed. As she lay there close to my body, sensing a form of protection and secure bonding from breast feeding I felt I was doing all I could to make the start of her life better. I must have read about 100 forums, disability pages, how the structure of hearing loss is measured - you name it I became a pro of hearing loss and audiology over night! I was still fighting a lot of guilt, a lot of what ifs and struggled to see her father forgiving me. I sensed his sheer devastation and heart break just by the look in his eyes. The amount of times I apologised for the difficulty our daughter faced, and the amount of times he told me it wasn't my fault. I didn't take any comfort in his kind words. How could I? Our precious tiny girl faced a life of unknown to us, silence, dark and gloomy. The way I can describe, in my own words since losing my hearing is, can you describe a storm but in sheer silence. What do you picture, What can you see? - The world In front of you begins to turn dark - The hairs on your body start to stand on edge, it feels the cold and soon you'll start to shiver and feel wet from the downpour. - Clouds shadowing any life and happiness on the ground - You can no longer hear the deep groan of thunder, so everything stands still or there's a strong sense of anger from the storm of nature, where its winds are picking up and throwing anything in its way. Then you see the flashes of anger and almost frightening from lightening. This almost resembles my feelings to the unknown explanation of why I lost my hearing in my early teens. We was silent on our journey to the hospital. I'm not sure if we was anticipating the results, convincing ourselves it wouldn't be so bad, after all prior to this appointment her father was positive she could hear and she was interacting. I didn't hold or see the same hope he did. We was called into a room, and told to settle Alivia and rock her into a sleep, which i did. She had some sticky product applied on her forehead and behind her ears. Which was then followed by a pad and clips with wires which then attached to the test itself. The room is silent and the audiologist starts her investigation. Myself and Dean kept giving each other reassuring glances as I held my sleeping baby, I kept watching anxiously as the audiologist clicked her mouse and I immediately diverted my attention to Alivia's face, searching for a response to settle my nerves. Clicks or tones of varying intensities are presented via probes placed in the ear canal. Electrodes are attached to the mastoids, which is what the sticky pads and wires are used for. The sound in the ear canal passes to the cochlear which converts the sound waves into a nerve action potential which passes along the auditory nerve. Then the signal travels to the brainstem and on to the cortex where it is processed by the brain. This wave of activity is collected by the electrodes, amplified, and passed to a machine for processing. Presenting progressively quieter sounds enables a response threshold to be obtained. The test must have lasted for around a hour and half, until Alivia-Ellen started to become restless and unable to settle again. But I must admit I was glad for the audiologist to call it a day, she received half of the information she needed to give us a form of result, my body was aching from her c-section delivery just a week ago and having to hold her so still to not interfere with the test was a killer! But at the same time I didn't want anyone else to hold her, not even her own dad. Which could have been seen as selfish. I felt this was all my wrong doing, therefore I needed to protect her and show her that mummy was with her every step of the way. The audiologist confirmed what I already knew deep down, just unwilling to admit. Her left ear wasn't giving a good response to the test compared to her right ear. They both also gave inconclusive results among the test. But what she could collect, confirmed Alivia most definitely had mixed Sensorineural hearing loss and she was marked at moderate to severe. We was told in great detail what the next steps was, ensured we fully understood her type of loss and we was referred to a consultant also. She left the room to give us some time to allow it all to sink in, there was a lot to absorb and understand. Even with hearing loss myself, this was an entirely different journey and experience. Her father turned to me, his face looked like it was struggling to be held up. Threatening itself not to break its strong structure. His smile was weak and heartbreaking, eyes filled with 100 emotions threatening to flood and pour down his face. My stomach knotted and I tried to form a warming smile while reaching for his hand, as if to say everything will be fine. His strength defeated, he broke down in tears, "my poor baby girl". And took her from my arms and held her tightly. As if he was attempting to fix the pieces back together again. But unfortunately nothing was broken this time, nothing can be changed or fixed. This was a life completely different to what he would ever expect. We left that room, full of emotion. For what ever reason, I couldn't cry. I couldn't feel a thing. Maybe numb from emotions, or trying to remain strong for Dean and Alivia-Ellen or show him I was capable of dealing with it and what was to come. We had an amazing response from our families, each individual was reassuring to us. And their kind words couldn't have been more comforting. We didn't really know if we wanted to break the news to the world just yet, but I thought it would help us deal with the news and process it quicker if we confronted it. Which we did so, again on social media we got a lovely warming response. She was fitted with her hearing aids at 3 months old. But showed very little, if not hardly any response at all. Which was absolutely devastating as we saw so many clips on YouTube with babies smiling straight away after hearing it's mothers voice for the first time. But we tried hard not to let this be disappointing to us. She had this form of testing every month until she was 8 months old she then moved onto what is called a distraction test. Know as a VRA. This is a technique that can be used to determine frequency and ear specific hearing thresholds. The child is seated between two visual reinforcing reward boxes with a loud speaker on top of each one. To condition the child a sound is played from one of the boxes on the left or right, as the child turns to the sound they are presented with a visual reward in the form of an illuminated puppet in the box. After several times your baby will now be magically trained to turn to one of the boxes when just a sound is played. Although Alivia did cheat a few times and would turn her head just to see if she could see the bunny or a bus light up. A series of tones are then played at reducing intensity to obtain a minimal response level. After the child turns to a sound they are visually rewarded with one of the puppets. In order to obtain ear specific hearing thresholds the child may wear headphones or have small insert phones placed in the ear canals to generate the stimulating sounds. At 10 months old, was when they finally received a full investigation result. Alivia-Ellen displayed very little response, and what we thought was progression wasn't quite so. She was then finally diagnosed with profound deafness in her left ear and severe/profound deafness in her right ear. My heart sank. And I could almost hear the crack of my mothers heart who was sitting behind me. Alivia was then given the strongest prescription of hearing aids. But again the possibility that she would benefit from them or not wasn't certain... We are still currently at this stage and there still isn't a clear satisfying response while wearing her hearing aids. Sometimes she may turn, others she's blank. She's due a review and more tests in August. Which I will try to document so all of those who don't know what to expect or would love to know what happens, can witness this. We have discovered that having a baby who is deaf will take more on your part as a parent. More time, more patience, and more work compared to the parenting we provide to our oldest 'hearing son'. It will be different, but Different isn't bad, it's just different! Remember that every child is unique and has a variety of needs. Even our son has needs that need to be kept and maintained. The demands of extra time could just as easily come from a child with a learning disability, or an extremely bright child that needs consistent stimulation. It doesn't in any way change or diminsh all of the wonderful experiences of being a parent. I think the experience of having a hearing and non hearing child makes you stronger and change as a person due to the challenge of parenting. Your walls become unbreakable, yet you also appreciate and soften, you become knowledgable in your child's condition, more than most professionals and form patience you never deemed possible. Your baby is the same beautiful baby, it was before you found out that they have hearing loss. The only difference is that you may have to learn to communicate with her a little differently, than you imagined. Let this journey help set the foundation for your attitudes and opinions about what your child can be capable of, don't feel your expectations for them have to different or lower as your hearing child. We have no reason to ever expect less of Alivia-Ellen or assume that she would or could achieve any less than our son.

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