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originalaccountname · 6 months

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putting my hands on your shoulders looking directly into your eyes why are you so insistent that Dazai is faking every emotion every second of every day except when he's acting mean or evil why do you think his dark side is more true than his happier or sillier sides

do you not also have multiple facets you show different people? are we not all beautiful multifaceted individuals? are your actions and reactions not influenced by your emotions and state of mind?

can't he laugh at his own jokes? can't he fondly think of the Agency? can't he be dramatic because he wants to? can't he be surprised by something suddenly happening, even if he knew it would happen? do you not jump when the jack in the box gets out even if you were the one working the mechanism?

why would the mean persona be more real? why would any and all joy be faked? why are you only allowing him misery?

#sorry i saw one too many posts talking about dazai's ''masks'' and how he hides his true self from the ada #and what of it if he still has the potential to hurt others? what of it if he's good at hurting? every day he chooses not to lean into it #not too far at the very least.#isn't kyouk.a skilled at killing? did she not choose not to do it?#i'm not saying dazai's never acting (because it does happen) i'm saying too many people are too quick to brush off-#every non-serious non-mean emotion as ''playing an act''#why would the mean persona not be a fake?? you thought about that??? what biases are you holding here #he makes jokes. he acts silly. he's a drama queen. he loves it.#you know what IS tiring? having to look evil and untouchable and impassive in front of a whole organization every day as a teenager #as soon as he gets to lupin with od.a and ang.o he goes silly mode. heck- when he *met* ang.o it was because he went silly mode.#as soon as chuuy.a is in proximity he starts yelling children's insults and starts stupid competitions #his silly mode is just as integrated into his personality as the capacity to be the scariest most evil person you've seen #they are not mutually exclusive and having the capacity for either does not mean acting on them #as asagiri said in an interview: bsd isn't about change it's about adaptation. kyouk.a has the talent to kill. she just chooses not to.#dazai has the skills to be evil. he just chooses good.#that got long in the tags sorry #apparently i talk sometimes

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floccinaucinihilipilificationa · 1 year

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#selfie bee #me telling a coworker who I have been working with for 4 months and whose name I do not know about my toenails #i'm sorry Tobias (?? Paul ??) it was the only topic I could come up with after I already told you about the big bird I saw in 8th grade #FRIENDS how are you!! :) how has the new year been so far!!#did you have a lot of snow on christmas!#we did and it was really fun! I had a very bad cold so I just watched the snow from inside but that was good too c:#do you have any plans for the new year?#i always have lot and most of the time I do not do any of them but planning is fun #this year I REALLY want to watch all of Star Trek ヽ(´∇｀)ﾉ #I would also love to learn how to make a handstand #imagine if you could just make yourself upside down #but it is a far away dream because honestly I am not very good at being usual side up most of the time either #but I will try probably at least 2 times to learn it ( ᐛ )#maybe I'll finally finish that website!#new years are good and fun #it's wild to think about how much daily life has changed since last year but I feel just the same :)#who knows what this year will bring!#I hope I don't hit a pheasant with my car #I almost hit a pheasant with my car last year and the pheasant made direct eye contact #I wonder how he is doing today #since that moment I think about pheasants a lot #I knew they were real but I had never seen one #just to know they are out there is a mystical feeling #right know it is raining so all the pheasants might be wet #get dry soon pheasants!!#I don't think I've ever seen a wet bird either #I don't know what do do with all these birds thoughts #also thank you for the person who asked about my skirt!! ( ˊᵕˋ )♡.°⑅#I've finished it and its really really bad #but I love it

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odakota-rose · 2 months

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so many gems in the Doctor Who script library the BBC just released but today I'm here in 4x02, The Fires of Pompeii

#doctor who #donna noble #tenth doctor #the fires of pompeii #literally this is donna's second trip #the first time she met the doctor she saw what he was capable of #and this episode does that too but in a different way #somebody far more eloquent than i needs to elaborate on how this was on a small scale reminiscent #of what the doctor had to do to end the time war #(or at least at this point thought he did. not getting into the timey-wimey retcons rn)#and how he always seems to end up having to make these soulcrushing choices on his own bc that's what being the doctor means #but donna does something very different here and chooses to take half the weight of this impossible choice #and i am very 😭 about it #don't mind me just spiraling over a sixteen year old episode of doctor who on this fine thursday afternoon #as one does #wait.... it's tuesday. dammit.#my posts

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carnivalcarriondiscarded · 11 months

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working on WH as vines p.2 but i need to share this Wally from it

Gaze Upon Him and Delight

#if anyone correctly guesses the vine this is for you uh. fuck idk you get a gold star sticker #or whatever sticker you want i'll slap it on your forehead #OH oh i'll draw wally smiling extra big at you how about that #scribble salad #welcome home #im only one full vine into the Thing so its gonna be a while lol #like last time i want it to be at least a minute #ive got a very full typed list to choose from for this comp #im having fun so far!#i kinda fucked up a little on this one but no one will notice! probably!#i made howdy too big but im Not going to redraw him he looks too chefs kiss

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jackobbit · 6 months

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Since Halloween draws closer, have a lil spooky fella from a Magma I joined a few days ago :3c

The theme was ‘Amalgamation’

[ID: A Magma drawing in monochrome of Sun, Moon and Eclipse from Fnaf merged together into one being, they approach the viewer in a dark hallway. The creature has three separate heads that hang down throughout the piece, each heads face is blacked out, leaving only one semi-realistic eye in each. The creature has five arms, and two torsos stacked on top of one another. Several wires connect to the amalgamation, some hanging down while others remain attached to something at the end of the hall out of frame. /End ID]

#fnaf dca #fnaf daycare attendant #fnaf moon #fnaf sun #fnaf eclipse #tw body horror #tw eye imagery #moondrop #sundrop #dca fanart #dca fandom #my art #very loosely inspired by a junji ito page #it’s been far too long since I’ve tried to doodle out something spooky #I’m hoping to draw at least one good Halloween inspired drawing #before the holiday at least #depends on how long this model takes me

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commsroom · 2 months

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it's true that sometimes people will soften eiffel, forget that he's kind of a dick, and play up the more good-natured, goofier aspects of his personality while downplaying how self-centered he is and the amount of undeniable Cis Guy Behavior he is known to display. but his character arc only works the way it does because he is, despite everything, very lovable - it's there in how minkowski's reaction to eiffel's conviction is set up to mirror the expected audience reaction, and desire to believe the best in him. wolf 359 captures something very real in eiffel that i've never seen as authentically represented anywhere else: a sincere, kindhearted man who still perceives himself as the default type of person, who wants to do right by people, but perpetuates harm through selfishness and ignorance. he's held to account for it, but isn't condemned. it matters that he improves because the people holding him to account are doing it out of care for him, because they want him to be better, and to be in their lives.

#wolf 359 #w359 #doug eiffel #i'm half asleep but. you know.#eiffel is a difficult person and a screw up in very average ways. and i think that makes some people LESS charitable to him #because it's far more likely you know someone with eiffel's faults compared to some others who are. objectively worse people but #in ways that might feel less personal.#and i think that's an important aspect of his character too but like. that's why i like him. he's a real guy. to me.#and i think the show wants you to like him too. at least as a character. it wants you to care what happens to him.#but i'm always surprised when eiffel is someone's 'i like him but would hate him irl' character because that is Not my experience.

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catmask · 2 months

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very silly question but!! would it be ok if we used some of the twitch emotes as discord emotes? no worries if not!! wanna spread the gospel of road boy celibacy . . .

i honestly hadnt considered people would yet want to yet (and i did post transparent/clean versions of them so a few people already started using them and mentioned so in the tags) - my plan was to make a bigger pack of all the characters and sell it as a digital download on kofi.

which is absolutely my bad, of course if i post the transparent versions people are gonna use em, i feel a little goofy for that (i just wanted to show em off because i thought they were cool but i got so excited i forgot to use my brain)

that said, if people wanna use the ones i already posted, go ahead! those are freebies. i wouldnt wanna take it back now that people are already having fun using them, ill just have to remember to watermark/put a lil disclaimer for the ones i post as promotion in the future.

i am gonna do more and some other characters, and for those i think im gonna avoid posting them at least without a water mark. but for the ones that are already up, cat's already out of the bag so to speak.

#the rest of the pack i wanna have algernon and yue too so at the very least there will be some incentive for the ones that arent posted for #freebies. and that said if theres any specific faces/phrases/emotes you guys want #feel free to suggest that! so far i have planned to do a 'good night!' emote for yue and different little pride emotes for the diff charas #mailbox

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nero-neptune · 7 months

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idk how much stock i put into those "gen z is more conservative than past generations" think-pieces from a few years back. but it's very possible for a person: to believe that climate change is a problem, to support (or be part of) the LGBT community, to believe in universal healthcare and social services, to support religious tolerance, to fight for expanded housing and labor rights, etc etc etc, and still, like, unabashedly hate women on a level you wouldn't believe existed

#like you really can't underestimate how far someone's hate can go for a specific group of people #while also believing in otherwise 'progressive' values idk #maybe i'm being a pessimist about these things #this is related to the last post i reblogged but now it's just on my mind #i understand that polls show (at least in the us) that gen z votes more blue than past generations and that's commendable #but you can walk and chew gum yknow. you can believe in progressive stuff while also being a massive sexist #and idk if these 'woowoo ~~trendy~~ sexism stereotypes but 'alternative and rebellious' bc i'm owning it' shit is uh. helping.#especially when you're too young to discern what is and is not 'ironic' or a 'joke' and you take it at face value #certain stuff is formative bc you're exposed to it young. and then BAM. it shapes how you see the world for a Very long time #sexism #rambles

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clowndensation · 11 months

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there’s a question to be asked i think about to what extent “getting out” can be conflated with “being saved” in this show, and what freedom actually means to any of these characters.

like you can argue that shiv saved ken by voting against him on gojo, but what if your intent behind saving someone is to inflict a worse punishment than if you’d just left them trapped? can a child weaned on poison survive on milk, or are you just sentencing them to a death by inches, starved of the only thing they know? and if you save someone specifically because you know that being saved is the worst thing that can happen to them, is that kindness or cruelty? at what point does a good thing become a malicious act?

and you can say that roman is finally free, but what exactly is he free from? the company? his father? does unlocking a cage mean saving a dog, or are you allowing him out on the street knowing there’s a kill shelter nearby? if the driving anxiety behind roman is that he’s an idiot and a failure—that he’ll never amount to anything, and trying will only lead to pain—and he’s finally cut loose once all of those anxieties have crystallized into cold hard fact in his mind, what has he actually escaped from? if the cage is in your mind, is it even possible for somebody else to unlock it?

the fundamental truth of a tragedy is that even being saved can be a death sentence, if the characters are incapable of escaping the thing doing them the most harm (themselves and their childhoods)

#'what about shiv' if i think about shiv i'm going to kill myself. she needs her own post. there's too much there to get into.#anyways seeing a tremendous amount of At Least Roman Is Free <3 tags that have me going. right. for sure. free from what?#because it's certainly not the intense amount of self disgust that has driven him in circles this entire time.#i fear he may feel the weight of alienation on his soul for the rest of his life. and he won't even try to alleviate it anymore.#and ALSO the idea that shiv went out of her way to save kendall as an act of like. altruism. like it was a sacrifice on her part #which i feel is a very toothless perspective on shiv and the psychological torment that's been weighing on her essentially since birth #like her choice in regards to gojo is one of the meatiest most harrowing bits of character work i've ever seen #and while of course there was love inside that action (because nothing these characters do is entirely divorced from love)#i don't think it was necessarily a kind or forgiving or sacrificial love #like this was an intense vitriolic snapping from a dog that has been kicked by her dad all her life.#and who absolutely refuses to accept that from her brother (because that would mean acknowledging that kendall takes the mantle of Dad-#and that she's subservient to him. which is the one thing she absolutely will never do #because it's a level of degradation that's finally a step too far)#anyways. um. insane season that i still can't look at directly or i'll perish on the spot.#succession

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screwpinecaprice · 6 months

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Got my first display tab! And the first thing I tested it with is an anime Connie sketch lol.

HUGE thank you to my supporters at Ko-fi, as that's where I got the funds. 😊😊🤗💕

Seems needed time to get used to, and I use more shortcut keys than the number of shortcut buttons on the tab; but I am already loving the it so far! My laptop, on the other hand, is not handling it too well. 😅

#I did kind of expect the laptop to act like it is right now. Which was another reason for buying a cheaper display tab to save up more on #a new laptop.#I got an Xp Pen 13 by the way!#It's looking great so far #The screen is much more closer to my face now tho. Lol #The colors come out different than both my laptop screen and cellphone. 🤔#But I think the xp pen has too much red tint?#Anyway. I have to tuck the XP pen for the moment. Not just because I needed a better laptop. I'm in the middle of doing commissions and #can't do those while still getting used to the laptop ...while also dealing with the lag.#The laptop's power drains even faster with the display tab and it lags even quicker the more layers I add. ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯#Laptop can't handle it very well.#Connie Maheswaran #SU #my shiz #Xp Pen #Thank you to my ko-fi supporters!!!!!!!💕💕💕#This was a screenshot redraw by the way. Or at least a screenshot redraw of a scene by memory.#You know the scene.#I wish I was able to make Connie look more pissed off tho. Lol #I also used the tab for a some of the sketches of my current commissions and I am so sad that I can't use it throughout the process.#It's so much easier doing the sketches with it than on the screenless tab! But it also lags. Orz

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centipede-legs · 18 days

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started a durge play through (resisting the urges bc #redemption and second shot at life) and by the tiefling party, i already had exceptional approval with gale and medium approval with everyone else, so i did as one does and spoke to every companion at the tiefling party, and ALL OF THEM were like “i’m in the mood for some ;) ;) but obviously not with you EW grosssss could you imagine??? ewwwww” with the exception being gale who thanked me profusely for acknowledging that he exists, followed by a tasteful "I WANT YOU SO BAD PLS PLS PLS PLS PLS"

#bg3 gale #gale dekarios #gale of waterdeep #bg3 durge #my durge is trying so hard to be so niceys #and she’s doing pretty good so far!#everyone in camp is at least a good friend #with at least medium approval #but gale wants durge so fucking bad and everyone else is like #yes this is my very dagger happy good friend who tries so hard not to kill anyone other than the baddies #love her but very scared to get too close… just in case…

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floccinaucinihilipilificationa · 11 months

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Hello may 31th anon! Look at that, another year behind us and a new one to come. Have a nice day! ₍՞◌′ᵕ‵ू◌₎♡

#may 31th anon #hello friends!! (｡’▽’｡)♡ how are you!! I missed you so much!#I'm sorry that once again i have not been posting but I did that thing again where I got scared of posting #I do not know why but it is the same with physical paper diarys #I have 3 diarys and they all have 1 entry #I think one just says 'I am ten'#what have you been up to!! did you do something fun? is it summer too where you live? c:#my tumblr messages seem to be broken! I'm sorry if you wrote something :C it just says 'no new messages' despite also saying new messages #not a lot has happened here! I got a tomato plant and then I got very invested into the tomato plant and I have eaten three tomatos so far (#my roses are also doing well!! I just got a new yellow rose and since she got here she only made orange flowers #I do not know the meaning of that #but I am very thankful! ( ˊᵕˋ )♡ I love it when things are orange!!#I've been trying to buy an orange shirt for the past 2 weeks but they always sell out before I get to them #I'm also thinking about buying a jean jacket #I have not worn a jean jacket for at least 15 years because one time in 7th grade tthe girl behind me said #that I was wearing a cool jean jacket and I just assumed that this was bullying for no actual reason #but maybe she just thought that it was an acutal cool jean jacket #we'll soon have out 10 year school reunion #maybe I should ask her #is anyone else going to a secret Sherlock phase again #I just want to see that silly little hat again #would sherlock holmes wear a jean jacket #have a nice day everyone!!#see you soon hopefully!!#♡＾▽＾♡

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trash-can-sam · 3 days

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What happens when your coworker kills your other coworker but both of you are in a relationship (kind of) with the same ethereal woman who had an admiration for said dead coworker.

+bonus Evandrey because it’s funny to me (I’m sorry Eva.)