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#not complain if i have to take one lmao
00fairylights00 · 4 months
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I Guess You Just Don’t Love Me Anymore
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GIF from @glowing-starlight on Tumblr
I was so taken by @ash-arts-but-sinful's post which mentions P being jealous of the cat and @oldworldghost’s post which contains the idea of him becoming more mischievous and sassy as he becomes human that I just had to write a little something, I hope it’s alright that I drew on your thoughts for some inspiration!
As a disclaimer, I haven’t finished my first play-through yet so this is more of a character study based off of what I’ve experienced in-game and what I’ve been seeing on Tumblr instead of delving heavily into the world-building and established story that exists within the game. So hopefully no spoilers and it’s very likely that this won’t at all line up with the in-game timeline.
Big thanks to @cupidsredcollar beloved for proofreading <3 
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For as long you had known Pinocchio you had never known him to be a jealous individual, in fact, when you’d first met that bleak, overcast morning in Hotel Krat you had been almost unsettled by his uncanny nature. 
His features were perfectly human, aside from the metal prosthetic he’d been fitted with. He had freckles and soft hair, a face that looked fashioned from a real person instead of the smiling caricatures Krat’s puppets were usually fitted with. 
But despite his boyish features, his face barely moved, he nodded along to Sophia as she gave him the task of locating his father, Mr. Geppetto, and tilted his head in question as Lady Antonia explained the concept of lying but his brows didn’t so much as pinch, his lips didn’t quirk and his eyes looked straight through you as you had wished him safety on his travels.
So watching in real time as he came into his own was something you cherished greatly, you continued to watch him grow and change, become something new. Pinocchio chose to spend a lot of his down time with you, he said he found you interesting, that you had a way of explaining humanity that made sense to him and over the last couple of weeks something had started to shift in him.
No, Pinocchio had never been a jealous individual, for as long as you’d known him.
Until today.
Your morning had started normally, woken up by the cool feeling of P’s lips against your forehead, human hand smoothing back your hair. He mumbled something about needing to go out, you tried to convince him to come back to bed, he tried to convince you to get up (he always wins).
P drags you down to the kitchen, you eat and he watches, something that was initially a little awkward but you’ve come to really look forward to, then you farewell each other at the rear entrance of the hotel. 
He holds you close to his chest, resting his lips to your hairline and making you promise to look after yourself and your companions while he’s away, you make him promise to be careful though you know he’s not always able to, often catching glimpses of Sophia muttering blessings and incantations under her breath in the foyer.
“It’s just Ergo hunting today, I’ll be more than careful.” He whispers, human arm winding around your shoulder. You breathe him in, hands to his chest feeling the odd sensation of his heart, not quite a tick but not quite a beat. 
You lean up to kiss against the slant of his jaw, his mechanical pulse jumping in response. He looks down at you, you catch the fondness in his blue eyes without mistake, he captures your lips in his, holding on for a second longer than he knows is necessary (it’s not like you mind though).
Lounging against the doorway, watching him walk towards the entrance of Elysion Boulevard, he turns and gives a last longing look over his shoulder before stepping through the wrought iron gates and disappearing from view.
You sigh, making your way back inside to start on your usual round of chores, helping where you could to take the load off of Polendina who needed more time to focus on Lady Antonia and her illness. You had just returned to the puppet butler for more tasks when you noticed movement on the top of the shelf behind the front desk. 
Sitting tall and proud was Hotel Krat’s resident sweetheart, Spring, tail swishing steadily as she kept watch of the foyer from her perch. The white and orange cat jumped down to the desk as she noticed you, laying down across the dark wood and turning over in gesture for belly rubs; which you gave happily. 
“She’s been very noisy today,” Polendina explained, stroking the cat, “I wonder what she’s trying to tell us?”
“Probably trying to manipulate us into giving her more treats, isn’t that right?” You accused lightly, you were sure that if he could, Polendina would be smiling. 
“There is another load of laundry that needs folding, could I have a hand?” He asked politely.
“Of course Polendina.”
And it seemed you had found yourself a shadow, Spring making an unreasonable amount of noise as she followed you and Polendina around the hotel. She wound between your legs, chirruped in response to your voices and bumped her head against whatever part of your bodies were within her reach. 
It was no surprise that Spring was loved by the inhabitants of the hotel, and it was very apparent that she loved them back, well everyone except for P. Not for lack of trying of course, he followed your advice of trying to build trust between him and the animal but she wouldn’t so much as let P touch her, hissing her disapproval for all to hear.
You’d often watch as P would recoil from Spring, the feline swiping and spitting at the puppet. You couldn’t tell from his expressions if the cat’s dislike for him bummed him out but sometimes as he lay next to you in bed he would lament quietly that Spring hated him, which would award him a sound of humoured pity and a kiss for the cheek.
It wasn’t clear what it was about P that set Spring off so aggressively. In all the time you had spent at Hotel Krat she’d never behaved in such an unfriendly way, even complete strangers who would seek refuge for short periods of time were welcome to interact with Spring freely. 
She would bask in the attention. You hoped that she would eventually come around to the puppet, given it looked like he would be around for the long haul and you just knew the two would be the best of friends if she would stop being so nasty.
But P was patient, far more patient than you were and it showed as you folded and unfolded the same piece of linen for the third time without realising, Polendina placed a gloved hand over your own, silently relieving you of duty.
“Apologies, my mind seems to be elsewhere Polendina.”
“You worry for the boy, it’s only natural that your mind wanders.” You sometimes forget how long Polendina has been around, having been a close companion of Lady Antonia’s for decades. You had a feeling he knew more about human emotions than he let on, somehow he always knew what to say when it came to your thoughts surrounding Geppetto’s Puppet. 
“I just can’t help it, and with him figuring out who he is, I fear he’ll get himself hurt by being too kind.” You wring your hands in your lap, focusing hard on the lines in your skin as you try to keep yourself from thinking of anything too awful.
“He has met humans who have given him trouble before and he has a good head on his shoulders. I would wager that you have nothing to worry about, but I understand that may not put your mind at ease.” 
“It doesn’t but thank you.” Your hand went to Polendina’s shoulder with a smile. “I think I’m going to find something else to do, try and get my mind off of things.”
Polendina nodded once, going back to folding the linens, “I’ll send the boy your way when he returns.”
You smiled in earnest, appreciative of Polendina’s knowing kindness. 
Spring, who had been lounging between you and Polendina, got up, stretching herself out and scampering over to your side. She meowed frantically to grasp your attention. 
Her interruptions continued as you made your way around the kitchen. It wasn’t particularly dirty given how little it was being used now, however, the repetitive action of wiping down the countertops and sweeping the floor were just the distraction you were looking for. 
Your ears perked up at the heavy steps of boots on marble floors, the jingle of P’s belt was something you could identify in your sleep. He stood tall in the doorway, all sweet smiles and fidgeting hands. Happy to see you, always happy to see you.
He was shockingly clean as he approached, resting his forehead to yours as his hands found their place on your waist, all the scolding about tracking oil and muck through the hotel was finally paying off.
You ran your hands over the intricate designs embossed onto the lapel of his coat, smoothing the fabric down before hooking your hands behind his neck.
“Welcome home, pretty boy.” You cooed, brushing your nose against his. 
He liked the small intimacies you shared, bunny kisses you’d come to find were a favourite of his.
“You can go and relax if you want, I’m just cleaning.” You offered, but he shook his head. 
Spring had also gotten bored of waiting on you, brushing up against your legs. So there you stood, sandwiched between your two favourite beings. 
And two shadows wouldn’t be so bad if they would stop getting under foot, you laughed as Spring and P fought for your attention while you made your way around the kitchen.
P hovered close, slinging his arm around your waist as you tried to pass him. You stopped short as he pressed his face into your neck, leaning back against his chest and resting your hands over his wrist. You could feel him smile against your skin, a careful, small smile that only he could manage.
At that moment Spring took it upon herself to jump up onto the counter in front of you, hissing and swiping at P, he scowled and pulled you closer.
“Beast,” he scowled, you gaped at P, smacking the back of your hand at his chest.
“Don’t be horrible, she’s just protecting her territory,” you chided, 
“I haven’t done anything to her, yet she spits at me.” He complained, you thought your ears might be playing tricks on you at the distinct sound of a whine in his tone.
“You love her.” You reminded smugly, a truth he was unable to escape.
“Yeah, unfortunately,” he mumbled, you pushed against his hold, trying to signal your want to move and he hesitantly loosened his grip. Hand ghosting over your waist as he watched you go, you threw a smile over your shoulder which he returned in kind.
You gave Spring a kiss on the head, letting her nuzzle her face against yours before scooping her up and putting her down on the floor where she went back to curling around your legs.
“Ah, so the cat gets a kiss but I don’t?” P asked. You snorted, flinging the rag you’d been using to polish the countertops over your shoulder.
You lent your hip against the counter and crossed your arms over your chest, “you never asked for a kiss, how was I supposed to know that’s what you wanted?”
“I feel like it was obvious.” He placed both of his hands on the counter, stretching his arms out straight as he pushed against the granite. 
You rolled your eyes in jest, unable to keep the fond smile from creeping onto your face, playfully exasperated you closed the short distance between the two of you. Lifting up on your tip-toes to press a kiss to the corner of his mouth, he was quick to move his head once you’d pulled back. Hands to your waist and pulling you against him, sealing his lips to yours so quickly it pulled a sound of shock from your throat.
“What’s up with you today, you’ve been awfully touchy.” You teased, twisting the ends of his hair between your fingers. “Not that I’m complaining of course.”
“Missed you,” he murmured, pressing his lips to your forehead tenderly. 
“I missed you too, always miss you when you’re gone.” You placed a hand on his cheek, thumb rubbing gently under his eye.
He pulled the rag from your shoulder and threw it behind you unceremoniously, taking your hand from his cheek to drag you out of the kitchen, a laugh bubbled out of your throat that P was happy to mischievously return.
He led you to the library, seating you at the piano and turning away to rifle through the sheet music stacked in a crate on the floor. He’d been getting better day by day. 
His body wasn’t exactly built to do delicate actions but that never seemed to stop him, in fact, he was inexplicably drawn to all the soft parts of being human even if initially he was afraid to get it wrong. The last thing he’d ever want to do is hurt anyone close to him and for that reason he was acutely aware of the raw strength he possessed.
Though his conscious effort to be gentle made all the difference.
Spring decided she’d had enough of being ignored, jumping up onto the piano bench and brushing up against you, pressing close and then curling down next to you. P turned around, the particular book of sheet music he was searching for held up in his hand, his expression dropped almost comically as he noticed Spring’s position next to you, taking up what was going to be his spot.
“Move her,” he says simply, you throw your head back with a hearty laugh but P’s serious expression doesn’t change.
“No,” you start with a laugh, “Spring got here first, you’ll have to pull up a chair.”
P continued to stand his ground, you wondered if he hoped his very presence would annoy Spring enough that she’d disappear of her own accord, but the cat only opened one eye. She regarded P from her curled up position before nestling her chin back down into her tail. 
It was like Spring knew she was in his spot and was smugly showing off to him, purring loudly.
“P, I’m not moving the cat. Just come and sit on the other side of me.” You insisted, watching as his unappreciated love for the animal won out and he stalked off to get a chair. You chuckled under your breath and passed your fingers through Spring’s soft fur.
“You are so mean to him, you know? He’s quite fond of you and I think you two would be very good friends if you gave him the chance.” You whispered to the cat who ignored you, continuing to purr unabashedly.
Unbeknownst to you, P watched your interaction with the feline from the doorway, his chest feeling warm in a way he wasn’t quite used to yet. Touched by your words that you thought were falling on deaf ears.
He gave in to your fondness for the cat, pulling his chair up next to you, fingers gently flitting across the keys as you hummed softly, head resting comfortably on his shoulder. He decided he didn’t mind this so much.
Late in the evening, however, he decided he did mind. 
You were curled up in your bed a book in hand and Spring dozing lazily in your lap, he entered the room and his shoulders physically dropped.
“What’s the matter?” You asked, thumb placed between the pages of your book as a makeshift bookmark. 
“Nothing,” he mumbled, sitting down unceremoniously on the edge of your bed to take off his shoes.
You placed the now forgotten book on your bedside cabinet, the act of sitting up a little difficult with the cat in your lap. You reached for his shoulder but he shrugged off your hand, trying to hide the action by stripping off his coat.
He stood and draped the coat over the back of your desk chair and moved to unbutton his waistcoat, all while staring down Spring with a scowl.
It clicked.
“Are you jealous of the cat?” You wanted deeply to believe that your Pinocchio was not jealous of a cat, but you couldn’t come up with a more sound explanation.
“I don’t know what that word means.” He lied, avoiding your gaze entirely, unbuckling his belt and dumping it on the desk, Gemini didn’t say anything so you assumed he mustn’t be awake.
“Yes you do,” you rolled your eyes, “I remember very clearly the conversation we had about it.” 
He didn’t respond, turning his back to you and focusing his attention on rifling through the dresser drawer full of his clothes. The sleep clothes he was looking for were folded at the end of the bed.
“It’s okay that you’re jealous of-”
“I am not jealous.” Quick, concise and with no room for argument, he spun back on you. His snapping didn’t phase you.
“Uh huh,” you teased with a smirk, turning all your attention back to Spring who’d been ignoring your exchange.
Perhaps what you were doing was a little mean, given that before you hadn’t been ignoring him on purpose, but it was too fun an opportunity to pass up. P let out a disgruntled huff, shuffling around in your peripheral.
“I guess you just don’t love me anymore.” He offered with his arms crossed over his chest, your jaw dropped and a shocked laugh fell out of your open mouth.
“You take that back, immediately!” You snapped playfully, sitting up fully and annoying the cat enough for her to get up and move.
“Make me.” The challenge he’d levied would mean conceding to his childish behaviour but after all he’d been through, you thought it only fair. 
You pulled the sheets back and stood from the bed, crossing the room to him. He tried to act as though he was uninterested, tried to pretend that your hands on his chest didn’t affect him, tried to ignore the speed of his heart as it hammered under your palm.
Your hands travelled the beaten path they always did, from his chest to his collarbone, then hooking behind his neck. Trying to pull him down was useless, like trying to topple a brick wall with bare hands, but you caught him staring out of the corner of his eye.
“Look at me.” Your whisper was a command, and he had always been faithful to a fault. “I love you.”
He tried to hide the oncoming smile, dropping his chin to his chest, but you were quick to guide his gaze back to yours. There was no way you’d be missing that careful grin. His eyes were soft and gentle when they met your own, there was hesitance in them that you didn’t want to see, so you kissed him.
He melted against you, arms winding around your back and pulling you against his chest, you hummed and he couldn’t stop the full blown grin from forming on his lips; breaking away to look at you like a giddy school boy.
“Are you going to take it back?” You asked, brushing your nose against his in a bunny kiss. 
“Will I still get to kiss you if I do?” He joked, you rolled your eyes albeit in good nature, hands cradling his cheeks as he continued to smile.
“I think that can be arranged,” you mused, leaning in to kiss him again, the two of you falling into familiar rhythm with one another.
Spring slinked out of the partially open door, tail held high, she had seen more than enough.
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hauntingblue · 1 month
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Them doing a photo lineup of the mugis for the battle and when it's Robin's turn she just turns and does a blue eyed stare at the camera 😭😭
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Look at her 😭😭
#i have a question about the heart pirates.... they just look like doctor's assistants... they dont even have weapons and for all we've seen#the only one who maybe can fight is the big guy and he's new... and bepo is the navigator and draws shit maps... how does the crew work.....#well all minks can fight but idk if bepo was trained in zou.... so....#why is sanji's little dance now moving his ass side to side akdhaksk#oh finally!!! shachi and penguin are swordmen and bepo kicks!! we really haven't seen much of them... idr if they did much in sabaody#honestly if law just took his friends for the ride and took care of everything else.... respect#the animation..... JESUS CHRIST!!!!!#there really was no need to bound man now but alas it looks cool#denjiro ITS TIME!!! YEAAAAAAHHH#the wig..... dramatic reveal....#kinemons plan being misunderstood and working becausw of it ajdhajshsj#and what boats did they destroy??? lmaoo??#luffys fit kinda falls apart on his orange jorts... purple and orange okay but red too??? mmm.....maybe red and purple dont match either....#kinemom saying he might die bc he has used up all his life's good luck HAJAHAAJAJ#okay lets finish that last boat but can someone get momo.... please.....#LAW!!! SHAMBLES!!!! GET MOMO!! its so funny how they complain about him not drawing like shit anymore ajdhaks#talking tag#watching one piece#episode 980#sanji can fly come on now....#come on now sanji..... dont let a theatre adult win... well nvm what is that... lmao sanji just taking hits instead of taking nami inside#also the fact that tokis fruit is around now.... who has that power.... or did it go.back in time to appear in her original time???#the orchestral strings version of the first opening as momo flies away..... damn#OMG JINBEEEEE!!!! HE DESTROYS THE SHIP! SERVES CUNT! AND ANNOUNCES HE IS JOINING THE CREW!!! FUCK YEAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!#luffy is so happy akdhsksj ME TOO!!!! FINALLY!!!!!#episode 979#<- fucked up.again#luffy loves jinbe so much i really love their relationship!!!!! that's his father now. shanks who
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sskk-manifesto · 22 days
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(*・ω・*)b♪
#I'm a bit late but :)#Mmmhh lots of thoughts about this episode. Nothing really relevant though lol#I like it... Mostly. Well‚ I like Atsushi‚ and I like Atsushi screentime.#I always forget that there's actually a one week timeskip within the Guild arc#I think these chapters were generally better executed in the manga.#But even then it's just...#Why do the make the Guild / Fitzgerald so. dumb. Why do they make them act so wildly irrationally and at the protagonists' advantage#It really gives villain acting entirely mindlessly to make the plot advance and the heroes win. It's really sensless.#I mean especially when Atsushi yielded. Why didn't Fitzgerald take his offer. For real!!#For real. He had NOTHING to gain from proceeding with his plan. He already obtained for Atsushi and the ada to collaborate.#Now they are NEVER going to help him‚ and that's agreat loss for him.#And idk. i hear that little Tumblr post in my voice saying “why would you complain about characters acting irrationally!#Do people irl never act irrationally?”#And yeah I get Fitzgerald was frustrated for losing Mitchell and his fight with Hawthorne. Okay I understand.#But that's definitely too much. That's him acting downright stupid at the heroes' advantage and it's just pretty underwhelming to read?#That said. It's just general notes I'm not particularly annoyed because like. That's just b/s/d to you. Dumbing down the villains a second–#so the author can escape the trap they put themselves into. Very Marvel-esque move lol.#On that exact same note WHY WOULD LUCY HAVE THE DOLL.#The doll is the whole premise for your plan working why would you not protect it with everything 😭😭😭#I'm not getting in the Lucy / Atsushi scene itself. I love Lucy but I swear every time that scene gets played a femminist dies#(it's me. I'm the femminist dying every time.)#Mmmhh a couple more things. I dislike the ost choice in the scene where Steinbeck is torturing Q it feels so out of place#And I really don't get what's the deal with the Hawthorne / Fitzgerald convo it's so confusing to me. Like it It looks like Hawtorne is–#blaming Fitzgerald for Mitchell's condition (both in health and for her family status) but...#Objectively neither of those things are Fitzgerald's fault? Idk maybe I just have very little media comprehension for this arc because–#a lot of things just seem to happen with no sense. But it's okay#Im complaining a lot lol but its mostly irrelevant things (or like with the dumbification of villains things I've learnt to live with lmao)#But the episode was generally nice. The animation this season is consistently very pretty.#random rambles
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aeviann · 1 year
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Xenoblade X posting like it's 2017,,,,,,,
This is a gift for @jammboe who is a wonderful friend that I got to know because of this game~ (pls check him out he makes art too and is very very good at it!!!!!) In general I made so many amazing friends bc of XCX, which is why it will always have a very special place in my heart
(I've recently been hit with major emotions over it and I've been playing it a bit again just to exist in its world, and it's been so much fun! Even though I barely have anything left to do in it whoops)
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juxtaposedrose · 5 months
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self//
i have been sneezing like literally 3-4x more than usual for this entire weekend and they are all obscenely wet, what is going on
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seventh-district · 13 hours
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so uh. that 2.2 Special Program, huh
#hsr#honkai star rail#hsr 2.2#hsr spoilers#hsr leaks#the body of this post reads as far less enthusiastic than i really am#i just don’t know how to casually return from my latest 2 week hiatus only to gush abt a game i’ve hardly blogged abt before#but i’m not making a whole ass sideblog for it like i did for Genshin. nah y’all r gonna bear witness to my fixation with this one#so anyways don’t mind me. vibrating into another dimension with anticipation for the next 11 days#it’s insane man. a year ago i Never ever woulda thought i’d be so invested in this game. and it took Months for the game to really grab me#but i’m v glad i kept coming back even when i was struggling to really get into it. like i just had this feeling that if i stuck around and#gave the game a chance to really like. come into its stride. i just always felt like there was Something there and i just hadn’t found it#and holy shit i finally found it in Penacony. the devs really truly outdid themselves with this region and these characters and this story#not to discount everything that’s happened prior. like i was genuinely Liking it all before now but i wasn’t Loving it y’know#but that may be more a ‘me having to fight tooth n’ nail to force myself to consume new media’ thing than it is a matter of the actual game#anyways i came here to talk abt the program! bc since i’m not filming my HSR stuff i’m gonna be insufferable abt it on Tumblr instead ! :)#and i’m probably not filming any more Genshin stuff. or anything else at all for that matter but let’s not talk abt that dead dream#pun not intended lmao. Anyways let’s return to the subject at hand while there’s still room left in these tags shall we#i’m so fucking glad they had Aventurine on this program man. especially since he’s leaked to only have 18 lines in 2.2… it was nice to see-#-him here at least 🥹 i’ll take what i can get. his unenthusiastic little bird noises at the beginning.. him being reluctant to come out..#the way one of the first things to come out of his mouth was ‘y’know DR RATIO once told me…’ like boy we get it ur in love with him 🙄 (/J!)#i love how they can’t go on these programs w/o talking abt each other it’s adorable. AND THE WAY HE WAS THE ONE TO EXPLAIN BOOTHILL’S KIT!?#they can’t just fuel my crackship like this… god and his whole ‘muddle-fudger.. son-of-a-nice-lady?’ thing had me wheezing#Aven mocking Boothill’s inability to curse was not on my special program bingo card but fuck i’m here for it#and Robin being all curious abt him was so cute.. ‘who /is/ he? … does he order milk at the bar?’ i’m crying she’s so sweet#also the trailer was fucking insane. which feels redundant as hell bc all of HoYo’s version trailers go hard but like. still. wow.#that millisecond long shot of Boothill surveying the skyline is so fucking good. also what the fuck is Jing Yuan doing here!!#not complaining at all tho. we’ve got JY & DH(IL?). Argenti(?). Boothill. Sunday. Aven. all my men r here and i am eating so fucking good#Seven.txt#viddy game stuff
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aeide-thea · 10 months
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god i know that complaining abt fic which most of you haven't read, and which i won't, for politeness' sake, identify in this post, is a great way to come across as both dickish and boring—
but i've been rereading a very long, very satisfyingly plotty series that's a fandom darling and the thing is, when you read like 400k of an author's work at once it really starts to become painfully apparent what their priorities are, by which i mean two things:
holy shit they're obsessed with 'what if strong powerful men who could hurt you didn't (but did hurt Bad Guys) (and it was sexy of them),' which leads into
holy shit they do not appear to have thought through the implications of saying 'i will have my heroes take over the same power structures that have enabled abuse, make no real changes to those structures other than swapping out the leadership, and then claim that everything is wonderful now bc Good Men Are In Charge'??
like. i don't necessarily need every passing fantasy to present me with a coherent, revolutionary system of politics and ethics—sometimes things are just fun and sexy and not especially Examined and that's fine!—but by the time someone's written literally almost half a million words, and done a lot of worldbuilding while they were at it, i am going to start squinting if they seem to think a Good Man can e.g. become an emperor by killing off the leadership of multiple countries and installing puppet kings loyal to him and still remain a Good Man, even if the justification was that the original leadership was maltreating its citizens and deserved to be extrajudicially executed. like. this shit was a bad, autocratic move when the US did it in real life and it's still bad now that you're having our mutual blorbo do it in fiction! and that's not even getting into the whole thing where like. they've got servants who the Good Man and his friends ""treat well"" but who very much remain second-class citizens in terms of how the story actually frames them and their concerns. [this was also a huge issue i had with foz m*adows' most recent book—everyone wants to write about fantasy nobles but they also want to make them good people and it's like. honestly i think it might be better to get comfortable writing about flawed people, but also—if your aristos aren't treating their servants like equals and your text isn't either, you haven't actually cracked the Moral Aristo paradox, sorry!] like, there's nothing that says your story has to depict a fully Healed World, nor should there be! but it's troubling if you seem to be convinced you've written one (and have your wide-eyed love interests constantly marveling at it!) when you very patently haven't.
#in all honesty—i've framed a lot of this as political/ethical critique‚ and like‚ it IS‚ but also—#i'm just really frustrated because like. the whole 'what if people were shockingly nice to you' thing feels like it SHOULD be better for me#but in actual fact i find myself totally turning up my nose at it and i can't totally work out why#i mean i guess part of it is that this author's Traumatized Love Interests are always really innocent victims#which i can't identify with emotionally because i feel like a piece of shit#so i need a story that's more like 'person who's been told they were a monster for so long they believe it gets convinced they aren't'#'(lovingly and sexily)'#but also i think a lot of it just. isn't subtle enough. like i need to have to put pieces together so i'm implicated in my own catharsis#being constantly told 'wow it's so amazing i'm not being abused by this person who COULD abuse me!! that's so sexy of them!'#is just. not doing it for me. like. 'not abusive' is not actually sexy to me‚ unfortunately. i need some character traits.#and unfortunately the ones this author tosses in for flavor ALSO don't convince me#because they never actually manifest in the story. it's like 'oh this character is so prickly—but never actually offends the LI.'#'oh this other character is so gruff—but the LI understands that about them from day one and doesn't take it personally.'#like. if the hero's 'flaws' don't actually cause any problems—they aren't flaws#anyway. i've definitely complained about this exact series multiple times on here at this point#but that's the thing—it's compelling enough i keep going back to it‚ so i get extra-frustrated by its flaws#whereas like. there's a lot of stuff that's much worse that i've been much less frustrated by#because i never had any particular hopes for it#anyway. thx for yr patience in this fully self-inflicted Trying Time‚ lmao#i guess this can get filed under#bookblogging
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capriszn · 2 months
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almost every cdrama i‘ve watched could have been a 10/10 if it wasn’t for those last ten minutes packed with the entire finale like every single one without fail got that rushed ending…. why do they keep doing this to me stop
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mommalosthermind · 4 months
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What is it about the kids’ winter break that always. Always. Makes the weirdest shit go wrong.
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bigbrainbiology · 1 year
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So... Urd, Rigr, Lest, and Ky are now 100% my fave characters 😅😂 And I guess technically Ferid and Crowley get a pass too bc they weren't actually in the chp despite me thinking that they should still be w/ Guren and Shinoa squad iirc...
A moment of silence pls for Narumi, Shinya, Goshi, Mito, Sayuri, Shigure, Kureto, Aoi, Chess, and Horn, who still have not returned from their trip to the store to buy some milk 😔
I'm up late, was reminded of the new chp, and now have ons brainrot so my thoughts on 120 in the tags ^v^
120 SPOILERS IN THE TAGS Y'ALL HAVE BEEN WARNED!
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immortalsins · 1 year
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what is tumblr good for if not to turn up out of the blue and rant
am trying so hard to survive&thrive at uni but my course says no - lost count of the number of times we’ve been neglected or looked over and the stress of it is not what u need on top of the ordeal of ... doing this course. got a lab session on tuesday on opamps, but we are the 11 out of 200 people who have not covered them (scheduled to do that after easter) and yet!! we have to complete 3 hours of preparation for a 3 hour lab about opamps! yes i can teach myself this stuff (how-hard-can-it-possibly-be mentality) but this is far from the first time we’ve been forgotten about and i can’t carry on like this i do Not have the time or energy
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bambeebirdie · 1 year
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WAS NO ONE GOING TO TELL ME THEY REMADE TRIGUN OR WAS I JUST SUPPOSED TO FIGURE THAT OUT ON MY OWN?!?!?
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hauntingblue · 1 month
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I THINK!! usopp and nami (and maybe others too) need to learn haki. They said you can't be in the new world without it because everyone is just so incredibly strong and here we are. They are getting headbutted to death and can't do anything about it (their abilities are being nerfed for the plot I know) but they could be SO GOOD if they could do something more idk.... we saw how strong nami was with zeus.... but she has fought with her bostaff before and that just disappeared... nami haki bostaff you will live in my dreams I guess
#jesus christ the blood#OH MY GOD!! KIKU!!!!!#WHY HER????????#episode 1005#WHY DO WOMEN HAVE TO SUFFER!!! TAKE ALL HER PAOM AND MAKE SANJI HAVE IT#SHINOBU!!!!!! YAMATO!!! DESTROY THEM!!!!!#rovin and chipper with a plank akdhass#hamlet and fourtricks lmaooo#now back to BEAUTIFUL WOMEN SUFFERING!!!! SHE IS NOT DEAD DONT MAKE THAT FACE!!!! OH SHE IS ALRIGHT#WOUND CAUTERIZING OMG!!!!! kaido just there watching ajdjakdjk AND SHE GETS UP TO FIGHT AGAIN!!! BADDEST BITCH IN WANO!!!!#now she cant do the oden nitoryuu#death makes humans whole..... you could have had your head cut off 10 minutes ago#talking tag#watching one piece#episode 1006#im blaming sanji for kikus arm. if he had gotten there earlier he would have gotten the hit and a woman wouldn't have spilled her blood#APOO IS ALIVE AND KICKING AGAIN??? DIEEEEEE#episode 1007#you know its getting slow when the episode tags look like this lmao#zoro complaining how fighting apoo is a waste KILL HIM THEN!!! DECAPITATION!!!!#not only ZORO but DRAKE IS THERE TOO! APOO SHOULD BE QUARTERED ALREADY!!!!#NAMI!!!!!! ANOTHER BEAUTIFUL WOMAN SUFFERING AND AS ALWAYS SANJI IS NOWHERE TO BE SEEN!!! HYPOCRITE!!!!#this is why armor haki needs to be taught on the sunny. wdym nami can just get super hit. like come on. this is just self preservation#omg..... usopp brain fracture.... NAMI AVENGE HIM!!!#OMG NAMI WILLI#G TO DIEEE FOR LUFFYS DREAM!!! AND TAMAAA!!!!!!!! COMES AND SAVES HER!!!!!#usopp wanting her to lie and save herself but no..... damn and he wouldn't do it either#episode 1009#CARROT KICK HIS ASS!!!!! noooooooo :(((( i feel like we don't get enough of someone missing someone dead like this.... it's so good....#WANDA SULONG TOO?? LETS FUCKING GOOOO!!!! PEROSPERO SAY YOUR PRAYERS!!!!
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gaystardykeco · 9 months
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not ready to go back to work tomorrow but luckily im so not ready that my brain isn't letting it fully process and so im just kind of numb except for little moments when the panic breaks through again
#feeling more and more like a robot and less and less like a person the emptier my life gets#the future is so empty like its just work and isolation forever#i have one thing left at the end of this week and then after that its just work and family and alone#and i think numbing out completely is really the only way ill be able to cope at all#i didnt used to really be able to do that but maybe now im to the point where i just have to so its become an option#idk i also might just be lying to myself and be about to get hit really hard with how bad this all is tomorrow#job interview friday. but plausibly i dont think i can take the job even if i get it bc i just dont think i can move to nyc#i just feel like ive hit a dead end#like i was a side character in someone elses story and that person has moved on so im just like floating in stasis#bc my part of the story is over i wrote myself out of their lives so i don't really exist anymore#idk my brain is telling me all these things that i know are silly but feel so true and i just am tired and empty#sorry to be dramatic and complain again just dreading work so bad#i just dont see any path forward thats not this forever loop like i cant make or have real connections with other ppl#and thats whats supposed to make a life real and worth living#but ive never had the capacity to connect right and ive never had passion for anything and ive never been able to really love and be loved#and i dont know how to fix any of it bc honestly i dont think any of its fixable#ill always be an emotionally harmful drain on anyone i think i love and ill always be left when they realize that#and then ive just hurt another person and i dont want to be a person that just hurts people so i cant be around people anymore#but its so empty and its so lonely and i hate myself so fucking much#anyway. i sound like a pathetic whiny teenager lmao sorry i know how stupid it all is i promise
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madigoround · 7 months
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It’s soooo easy to post those “healing isn’t linear” and “it’s okay to have bad days!” Platitudes until you’re regressing a bit on some of the healing you’ve done and all of a sudden you feel like a failure
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pepprs · 1 year
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update counselor breakup email scheduled to send at 8:48 am tomorrow 🥳
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