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death-and-other-myths · 1 year

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The Dream Thieves Deadass Book Review

By Maggie Stiefvater

Blue and the gang are back in another thrilling installment of teenagers taking on way more than they should!

This is an unhinged book review/recap of this BEAUTIFUL STORY I LOVE IT!!

*SPOILERS AHEAD*

We kick things off with a cool prologue about Ronan Lynch and his enigmatic father, who apparently dissapeared for months at a time and returned with ridiculous amounts of money and treasure. It’s also heavily implied that Niall Lynch also had the ability to manifest objects from his dreams. He says weird shit like “Ronan on the day you were born, blue rose petals rained from the sky and all the cows started crying blood.” And Ronan says “Thanks Dad, a birthday card will suffice.” (Jk) But there are instances where Niall wakes up with blood and blue rose petals on his face and is like “Oh Ronan, I was just dreaming about the day you were born.”

Wow this family! (To recap, Nial was murdered with a tire iron and Ronan found him)

Was… was Ronan not birthed, but dreamed?? Did his father dream him into existence? I’m not sure.

Well everyone is in the know because the kids meet up in the countryside with a telescope — still on their quest to chart the leylines and locate Glendower… who the trees confirmed exists, so that makes all this crazy magic even more real. Ronan demonstrates flying a toy plane that he dreamed into reality, which can miraculously fly without batteries. His raven, Chainsaw chases it and it’s adorable.

It’s so fun to see the gang back together. Ronan can dream things into existence and we’re all okay with that. Adam is some kind of magic we don’t understand yet. Noah is dead. Gansey’s super power is loving his friends to the point of being annoying. And being obsessed with Glendower. Their new plan is to keep exploring the enchanted forest and hunt for the king. Blue continues to be adorable and poke fun at Gansey, who calls her Jane and likes to say shit to get a rise out of her.

THEN we meet some dude who is described as the Gray Man. He has quite a pit of personality for someone who only wears grayscale shit. He walks into Declan’s dormitory at Aglionby and proceeds to BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF HIM. Poor kid. He’s demanding to know where the Greywarren is?? And Declan is like “I have no idea what that is please stop hitting me.” And Gray Man says “You better find it for me or I’ll kill you and your whole family, kay bye.” Then he checks in to a bed and breakfast.

I kind of remember Ronan saying Greywarren in the first book. It was something the trees called him in Latin and he was confused and said he didn’t understand.

Anyway, both Gansey and Ronan have insomnia. So one night, Ronan wakes up with a puzzle box/decoder he manifested out of his dreams and takes it out to Gansey, who is also awake at 3am working on his scale model of Henrietta on the floor. They have a neat conversation about Ronan’s dream powers and the strange contraption he made that night. You type a word in English on one side and wooden letters rearrange in Latin, Greek, and some other language they can’t figure out. Gansey is very fascinated with how Ronan accomplishes this magic feat. Then he says “God I’m tired.” — “Then sleep.” — glare from Gansey, who would if he could. — “Wanna get orange juice?” … they get orange juice.

The next day, Blue goes to work at the pizza place and the guys come. There’s a cute part where Adam touches her wrist. There’s an even cuter part earlier in the book, when Blue is thinking about the tree visions and her fate to kiss and kill her first love. She says to “fate”, if I’m destined to kill Gansey, I don’t want that to happen. If I’m destined to love him, I don’t want that either. It’s Adam I want. Eeeeee!!

While they’re chatting, the local douchebag Kavinsky shows up and exchanges some witty banter. Like genuinely witty. This kid is a dick, but he’s really funny. He gives Ronan some leather bands, just like the ones he’s already wearing and chewing on all the time… and this must have some significance but we don’t get it yet. So anyway, he leaves. And the boys are trying to figure out what the mystery language is on the dream box. Blue says “I bet Ronan knows what it is. Somewhere in there.” And Ronan snaps back “You don’t know shit.” And everyone at the table freezes. Gansey says in a threatening way to the table, “You are not to speak to Blue like that ever again, you hear me?” And Blue is like “BISH I don’t need you standing up for me! Fuck you rich boy and fuck you Ronan I will end you.”

The Gray Man is driving around town in a shitty rental car talking to the locals. Apparently there have been power outages and surges lately. He’s using instruments given to him by his boss… Greensomething. GREENMANTLE. And following the energy to a crazy rose bush and a creepy well. When he takes the lid off the well, the energy readings stop.

Adam has been living in the musty little space above St. Agnes’ church paying rent to the nuns for a few months now. When he gets home from his mechanic job, Blue is there. This is such a BEAUTIFULLY written chapter (8) and Adam continues to be a beautifully written character. There is so much going on in this scene. From Adam pining over all the things he wants in life… to the anxiety of knowing he made a bargain with a magical forest that is hanging over his head because he has no idea what that fucking even means…. To his incredible attraction to Blue and deep desire to kiss her.

They have a sweet moment where they hug, and he’s getting signals, so he goes in for a kiss and she FREAKS OUT and steps back. This wounds him deeply, since it’s been weeks now, and he knows he should respect a girl when she says “no” but also just why?? I WISH BLUE WOULD JUST TELL THIS POOR BABY IF SHE KISSES HIM HE MIGHT DIE but I also see how that could be a difficult conversation, so she just keeps it vague like “I don’t want to move too fast.” — Adam takes a shower to exit from this awful interaction, and while he’s in there he catches sight of himself in the mirror and thinks he looks different. Like a little more gaunt than usual. And then he has this strange moment of scratching his skin. And the water feels like it’s falling in slow-motion. And then he gets this weird flash of water falling off leaves.

So Adam steps out of the shower like “Wow. That’s weird.” And finds Blue talking to a Nun. The Nun explains that some weird tax thing happened and his rent has been lowered by $200. Adam is super relieved, and after she leaves, he opens a letter from Aglionby that he’s been ignoring… and that letter says that tuition has been raised by $200. He’s immediately like…… Gansey. He puts two and two together and is just livid. And he takes it out on Blue, so they get into a huge fight. And she storms out. And Adam feels like a fucking monster and more trapped than ever. And the chapter ends with him getting a flash of another image in his head. I THINK HE’S STARTING TO BECOME MAGICAL. But also, sweet baby. I hate that he carries all this pain. But god damn if he is not a fascinating character. They all are. I love them.

Gansey, Noah, and Ronan are dicking around a Dollar Tree when Adam calls.

I love the idea of these 2 rich idiots and their dead friend just messing with chinsie toys and bullshit at the dollar tree. They went there for batteries but are standing around just being teenaged boys. Also the raven is with them. Adam tells Gansey he just saw a ghost woman in his apartment and it freaked him out. Noah finds a snow globe that he loves that is full of glitter, and Ronan and Chainsaw are being adorable and in an unusually good mood. Then Noah like, BLINKS OUT for a minute then comes back. The boys hypothesize that the leyline’s power is fluctuating. And it probably has something to do with Adam.

Adam and Gansey get into a brief argument on the phone about the tuition… where it’s revealed to us the reader (but not the boys) that it was RONAN who adjusted Adam’s rent. There’s a great line like “The good thing about being Ronan is that no one ever expects you to be nice.”

Ronan has a dream about being in the forest and hanging out with a little blonde girl. He’s seen her before. And like everything there, she speaks in Latin and is super skiddish and afraid. She asks if he’ll take her with him before he wakes up.

The next day, Adam calls Gansey again and Gansey invites him to one of his fancy rich people parties. He says there might be internship opportunities. Adam hates offers like this, because of that damn pride of his! But he actually considers accepting and pretty much says yes. Then he asks Gansey for some relationship advice about Blue… which makes Gansey deeply uncomfortable.

Blue told him about her prophecy/curse when they were exploring the woods that one day. The same day he told her about the day he died of hornets. Again… it is driving me crazy… how none of these kids will just out and say this. But I appreciate the tension hahaha. Poor ADAM!! He asks Gansey if he’ll talk to Blue for him… maybe find out why she’s so skiddish about kissing in particular. Or if there’s something wrong with him. Gansey reluctantly says yes.

Then there’s a cute bit with Ronan and Noah being boys and throwing shit out the factory window. Then Noah stomps back in all upset because Ronan threw HIM out the window. OH BOYS.

On Sunday, Ronan goes to church. He very much believes in God and the Devil… because he saw the devil once?? He saw his Dad talking to this goat-headed beast in the barn. And then Nial shot Satan 13 times in the head. And Satan flashed his dick at Niall and dissapeared. I AM NOT FUCKING WITH YOU. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS. I’m just like… okay, Maggie.

Ronan notices Declan all beat up and is happy to see it. But it’s weird. Normally the only people who can beat up Lynch brothers are other Lynch brothers. He says it was a robbery though. We meet Matthew, the most adorable of the brothers, who is kind of a clean-cut jock as opposed to being a brooding punk or a pompous future-senator. It’s worth mentioning that Noah joins Ronan at church, but no one acknowledges him.

Ronan has a street race with that Kavinsky guy (who calls him a f**. REAL NICE.) — And before they race, Ronan throws a pair of sunglasses into Kavinsky’s car? They’re identical to the pair he’s wearing on his face, and he seemed kind of surprised by it. He asks how the hell he found a pair. Ronan doesn’t answer. And we all know we dreamed them. So that happens and it’s over.

Is Kavinsky a dreamer too???

Meanwhile, Gansey and Adam are hanging out at Blue’s house. Gansey is in the kitchen with Blue and Adam is out in the reading room. Their fearless leader is talking with Maura and basically saying in much more fancy Gansey speak, “I think we’re going to have to go back to Cabeswater eventually. I can’t guarantee it’ll be safe, but I can say we’ll be as cautious as possible?” — Maura is like FINE. Then when they have a free moment, Gansey asks Blue if she’s talked to Adam about the whole “If I kiss you, it might kill you.” Thing. Blue gets flustered and is like “Of course not and it’s none of your business!” — Well he tried. Blue has a gentle chat with Adam who has laid out a deck of tarot cards and is just staring at them. He seems to be in a much better mood now, but things are still awkward between them. Gansey is adorable with his water bottle, which he pokes Blue with and is like “Fair Trade!” Like he deserves a prize for being more environmentally conscious.

One day, the Gray man comes into the Blue House. He’s extremely charming. Says he’s there researching a book, but it comes out pretty quickly that he’s a hitman. The ladies aren’t really that afraid of him though. And he even plays little psychic card games with them before leaving. Persephone and Calla ask Maura why she allowed all that to go down, and she’s like… best to keep an eye on those types.

So the gang is in the camaro on their way to Cabeswater, and things are still a little weird between Adam and Blue. He keeps getting visions and seeing figures (dead people?) and he’s worried that Cabeswater is going to like… take him.

Well they pull up to where Cabeswater is supposed to be and it’s just fucking gone. The whole forest… up and left like it never existed. And to make things worse, the camaro breaks down on the way home and they’re pretty far from civilization. Ronan is stomping around in frustration and Blue make some kind of comment like “Yeah let’s just throw rocks and be violent and do something manly like yell. That’ll really help.” and even though she says it to Ronan, Adam knows he was the one that was supposed to hear it (because he scared her by exploding in the apartment earlier). To make matters worse, Gansey and Blue formulate a plan together over the GPS and just seeing their hair touching is enough to make Adam feel real awful. He just presses his head against the seat back and groans.

They ask Declan to bring a battery. Ronan pretends to be asleep, which pisses off his brother. It also pisses him off that Ronan’s leg is draped over Adam’s. He tells him to keep his fucking head down and out of trouble, drops the battery, and leaves.

That night, Ronan has a truly AWFUL nightmare. He’s standing in Adam’s apartment, and there’s this mask on his wall that belonged to his father, but only in his dreams (??) and the little girl is there eating fried chicken lol. Well eventually, dream Adam shows up and puts on the mask, and the second it does it turns him into a MONSTER. Adam is both trying to get the mask off and posessed by some evil force attacking Ronan. Ronan manages to pull the mask off him easily, but when he does it takes Adam’s fucking face with it — so then he’s dying in the corner. And Ronan wakes up with the mask in hand. He has sleep paralysis so Noah talks him through it until he can move. This chapter ends with a weird clicking noise in the corner and I am very scared.

OH GOD IT GETS WORSE. Gansey is out sitting in his Camero in a thunderstorm because it’s 4:45am and he has insomnia. He’s feeling a bit sorry for himself at Cabeswater disappearing. I love this bit:

“…then instead gave himself over to feeling sorry for himself, that he should have so many friends and yet feel so very alone. He felt it fell to him to comfort them, but never the other way around. As it should be, he thought, abruptly angry with himself. You’ve had it the easiest. What good is all your privilege, you soft, spoiled thing, if you can’t stand on your own legs?”

I love Gansey so much.

Noah comes out and flags him down, then leads him to the massive main room on the 1st floor that has no lighting and is full of dust and Ronan is just standing in the middle of it like a creeper while there is a storm outside. Chainsaw is there for levity… rolling in the dirt. So Ronan asks Gansey about the promise he made last year… after they found him in a pool of blood with slit wrists. He said he didn’t actually try to kill himself. He had a nightmare and brought the wounds back with him, but his father made him promise never to tell anyone about his dream powers, so he just let everyone think he was suicidal. And there’s still something banging and dragging around upstairs and I will fucking SHIT myself if it is Adam without a face.

Okay no it’s not that. But it’s still pretty fucking scary. Ronan grabs a crowbar. He gives Gansey a box cutter. And together they open the door to Ronan’s room to fucking fight some kind of… Raven person beast monster. It’s all claws and has red eyes and a huge beak but kind of a human body and totally fucks them up, but they fuck it up better. During the fight, Gansey notices Ronan has old scars on his arms beneath new ones from the claws. He asks Ronan if that’s how he got those injuries and he says “One got away”. So um… WOW. Like Gansey says, no wonder Ronan won’t sleep. That’s ten kinds of awful.

The next chapter starts with Gansey and Ronan fetching Blue with the dead, stinky bird man in the trunk. Then we get this phenomenal snippet:

“She wore a dress Ronan thought looked like a lampshade. Whatever sort of lamp it belonged on, Gansey clearly wished he had one. Ronan wasn’t a fan of lamps.”

Fucking beautiful. This is chapter 18 by the way. I love this whole exchange at the beginning. Blue is struck by Gansey wearing blue jeans and a tshirt. It makes him look his age and not like a senator, like he usually does. The plan is to pick up Adam next and then go bury the body in Ronan’s farm (which he’s not legally allowed to enter for some reason). Also Noah dissapeared when all the shit went down and hasn’t come back yet. I do not blame him.

They drive out to Ronan’s forbidden home which is like gorgeous fairy farmland. They have to go find a shovel in one of the many barns and discover that all of the livestock is sleeping with their eyes open. So… creepy? Even the little barn birds are doing it. Oddly enough the only animals not in this state are some baby mice. And there’s an adorable scene where Ronan says the only way to feel their little heartbeats it to hold them against your cheek, and everyone does it and can’t help but smile. It’s so freaking cute.

Great prelude to burning a horrifying bird creature. But once that’s done, they decide to go to Ninos. Adam, throughout this whole trip, is getting spacier and spacier. He did smile at the baby mice though lol. But otherwise he’s just staring off into the sky. Before they leave, Ronan asks if he can go see his mom (who apparently had a meltdown after his Dad died and stopped talking).

Ronan’s house is COOL!!! It is not rich bougie opulent like Gansey’s. It’s a proper farmhouse, cluttered and warm and packed with dream things. Like a lot of appliances that don’t require electricity. And some blue lilies sitting in a vase with no water. And the fucking MASK!! Ronan nearly tackles Adam to stop him from touching it, then that becomes the last straw. Ronan loves his home and misses it like crazy. And it’s killing him that he’s legally forbidden to be there. He doesn’t know how to process emotions, so he just starts punching the wall and destroying stuff. Adam stands there numbly, letting him. So Gansey thunders over, catches his fist, and tells him to cut it out.

Ronan goes to see his mother in a sitting room filled with still more magical shit, and she’s asleep just like the livestock. In a coma and surrounded by medical stuff (nurses come and check on her periodically). Basically by the end of this chapter, Ronan realizes that many of the things in his home were dreamed by his father, and that’s why they’re in this holding pattern/coma-like state….Including his MOM!!! DUN DUN DUN!!!

The next day or hours later (sometimes it’s hard to tell time in these books lol) - Blue tells Ronan “You need to go talk to my aunts about this dream stuff. Manifesting objects from dreams is crazy enough, but manifesting PEOPLE?!” — And here’s the funny thing about Ronan. He’s a total punk, but he’s also pretty religious. So they get in a fight about “Is spiritualism the devil” until Gansey breaks it up and makes Ronan go.

So they go talk to Calla, the sassiest of the psychics, who talks to Ronan while doing aerial yoga lol because reasons. She tells him that Cabeswater is a dream. And Ronan thinks his mom might be in there. I’m confused by this, but I think we’re supposed to be… Like, did Ronan’s father DREAM Cabeswater? She also tells him to get rid of that mask “It’s a bit of bad work”. I’m really glad Adam didn’t touch it now!!

Matthew and Ronan have lunch. This chapter is interspersed with excerpts from Nial Lynch’s will, which explains each brother gets 3 million dollars when they turn 18 ON THE CONDITION that they stay off the property. (And I guess Declan is real pissed because Ronan did just that. But I guess maybe it was okay since no one saw?). The will also leaves Ronan with the farm, which he can’t set foot on…. So thanks Dad. Mathew mentions that Declan is taking sleeping pills, knows about Ronan and Nial’s dream powers, and has a gun in his car. Ronan says he has a plan to get Mom back.

The Gray man is an interesting character. He is there on orders from a man named Greenmantle… looking for the Greywarren (all very strange names). The only thing he is afraid of is his brother, who he keeps dodging calls from. He has depression/gray days where he just stays in bed all day. He has a few of those before he realizes he left his wallet at the psychic house. So he’s going to go get that…AFTER HE GOES TO MONMOUTH MANUFACTURING slash base camp slash where our sweet heroes live and oh my god I will fucking die if he hurts anyone.

Gansey has been depressed since Cabeswater dissapeared. It’s really messing with him. So he goes on a spending spree and buys some things for the factory (a leather chair, pool table, and some air conditioners) — and asks Blue’s cousin Orla to help because they need someone who is 21 years or older to rent a trailer lol. Orla shows up to the factory in bell bottoms and an orange bikini, and Gansey and Adam exchange looks. RONAN DOES NOT BECAUSE HE DOESN’T LIKE LAMPS. Seeing them blush drives Blue nuts, since she and Orla don’t get along.

Then we get this beautiful line of thought from Gansey:

“She wore two shredded tank tops and a pair of bleached cargo pants. In some parallel universe, there was a Gansey who could tell Blue that he found the ten inches of her bare calves far more tantalizing than the thirteen cubic feet of bare skin Orla sported. But in this universe, that was Adam’s job.”

So not only did he rent a trailer, but he rented a boat. And as the Gray man pulls up on the factory, he sees all this and also sees a white Mitsubishi idling on the road (Kavinsky!!). Gansey and the gang head out with their trailers and boat. Then the Gray man waits for Kavinsky to pull in, drop off whatever he’s dropping off, and leave. When the Gray man approaches, he sees that Kavinsky has dropped off a stack of REALLY CONVINCING looking drivers licenses with Ronan’s picture and a birthdate that would make him 70 lol. I think Kavinsky is a dreamer!!!! While the Gray man breaks into the factory and pokes around, he calls Maura and flirts with her about getting his wallet back.

But while he’s there, two MORE people break into the factory and are ALSO looking through things, but being assholes about it and wrecking stuff. They’re about to stomp on Gansey’s model of Henrietta, which the Gray Man can’t stand, so he steps out and fucks them up. Murders one of them right off the bat. Asks the other one who sent them, and the guy says they were hired by someone with a French Accent to find the Greywarren, which they think is probably a box. This is new info for the Gray Man, who didn’t know if the Greywarren was a person, place, or thing. So he says thanks and then kills the guy.

Okay so the kids are on a boat and it’s hot as hell. Gansey has purchased a sonar machine that Ronan is beating into activation and Orla is stretched out tanning. They drive around looking for something to pop up on the sonar, and it finally does! So while Gansey is thinking about how to strip down and dive with all these girls present, Blue takes off one of her tank top layers and is like “I’m going in. BRB.” — Orla stands up and is like “No you don’t. I’m the only one actually wearing swimwear. I’ll get it.” And she strips down into her sexy orange bikini. The boy's reaction to his is PRICELESS.

I LOVE this bit with Gansey:

“A tiny part of Gansey’s brain said: You have been staring for too long. The larger part of his brain said: ORANGE. “Oh, for the love of God,” Blue said, and jumped out of the boat.”

Ronan laughs hysterically because, again, he doesn’t like lamps.

Orla swims around for a while and gives up. But Blue manages to dive and find 2 objects. A metal plate thing called a boss that used to be part of an ancient shield adorned with raven stuff (Glendower is all about ravens!) and a camaro tire that looks like it’s hundreds of years old. So that’s creepy. (It’s also funny when she comes back on the boat, she spits lake water on Gansey’s shoes and says “There! Now they’re actually boat shoes.” — and Gansey is like: [indignant rich people noises!])

More Gansey thinking Blue is hot:

“Gansey still felt he ought to avert his eyes. Everything was wet and clinging in ways that seemed more titillating than he’d come to expect from Blue’s wardrobe.”

They head back to land and Orla is getting in Ronan’s BMW when Blue asks, “Seen enough of Orla?”

And Gansey blurts out “What care of it is yours whether I’ve seen enough.” (And quickly regrets it because this sounds like a dare. Or flirting. Which he desperately doesn’t want to do because it will compromise his friendship with Adam.)

Blue replies, “Not at all.” And he knows she’s lying. So we get this neat bit:

“Blue Sargent cared whether or not he was interested in Orla. She cared a lot. As she whirled toward the truck with a dismissive shake of her head, he felt a dirty sort of thrill.”

Ganssseeeyyyy!!! Has so got the hots for Blue. Oh god, Adam though. I don’t want this poor baby to get hurt. I mean he’s already been through so much and the magic invisible forest is scrambling his brain… please just be happy.

When Blue comes home (soaking wet) she finds Noah doing ghost shit on her front lawn. I’m sorry, that’s way too blunt. I just thought it would be funny to write it. But he is doing something she’s seen him do maybe 4 or 5 times before… which is re-enacting the moment of his death. We see him get hit by the invisible skateboard and shiver and shake on the ground for like 11 minutes making horrific noises. Then he just blips and is standing next to Blue like “Hey Buddy!! What’s up! Did you go swimming today? NEAT!” And she’s like “Heyyyy Noah. What’s going through your head when you do that?” And he simply replies that he wasn’t there. Like he wasn’t conscious of doing that. WOW BEING A GHOST IS WEIRD. Also I love how no one noticed their roommate was a ghost in the first book. Was he doing this while he lived with them and they were like “Noah, cut it out!”?

Mister Gray buries the two dudes he murdered at the factory, all while asking Maura out on a date. Later, he shows up to her house to get his wallet and has a terse conversation with Blue — who senses that he is smart, and not to be underestimated. Blue is a smart cookie. She notices the way Mr. Gray tries NOT to care when Maura comes in and says Gansey is on the phone because his place got broken into. Blue is like okay this guy is something…

The night before Gansey and Adam go out of town, Gansey is in a fucking mood. He and Ronan drive out to Kavinsky’s substance party (his words, not mine) in an abandoned fairgrounds where a bunch of rich kids are getting high and destroying their cars. When they arrive, Kavinsky has this great line where he goes “Hey lady. To join this party you gotta bring drugs.” And then Ronan punches him… lol Kavinsky is either too high or too charismatic to care. But I thought it was so funny when he said “Hey lady.”

He says it wasn’t him that wrecked the place, which tips G & R off that the same person who beat up Declan might be looking for them too. Kavinsky is like “Hey before you go, wanna blow stuff up?” And Gansey is in just crazy enough of a mood to do it. So they throw some Molotov cocktails at cars — and it’s all very cinematic and poetic. I love angry/scary Gansey. He’s not unhinged angry. He’s just as intelligent and confident as he always is. But he’s a certain shade of lethal. Freaking love it. Kavinsky asks Ronan if he’s coming to the 4th of July party and he says maybe. This chapter ends with Ronan admitting to himself that he’s bummed Gansey and Adam are leaving town without him.

Mr. Gray and Maura have their date and it’s actually pretty cute. He opens up about his brother, who sounds like a complete fucking psychopath (torturing him and small animals as a kid). Their flirting is kind of adorable, and they even kiss! When he gets back to the Bed and Breakfast, he learns that his room has been turned upside down and ransacked. Also, Maura stole his phone and replaced it with his tarot card in his pocket (The something of swords… I forget haha)

Persephone wakes Blue up in the middle of the night to help break into the Gray Man’s phone. These psychic ladies straight up do not give a fuck. They get Blue to show them his emails and phone calls and they figure out (through a mix of that and psychic ability) that he is there looking for the Greywarren. His problem, they say, is that he thinks he’s looking for an object when he should be looking for Ronan. So that’s interesting that the psychics know Ronan is a/the Greywarren! They know that word?? The Gray Man calls and isn’t even mad about the phone. He just flirts with Maura some more.

That night, Ronan has a dream about his tattoo. He hasn’t really looked at it since he got it, but he can see it clearly in this dream. It’s made up of all the stuff he dreams about. Ravens and claws and the road to the Barns and other scary and beautiful things. In the dream, ADAM IS BEHIND HIM, TRACING HIS FINGERS DOWN HIS BACK on the road to his home. Then Adam turns into Kavinsky. And that tattoo shrinks into the size of a wafer and he eats it… and Ronan wakes up in a cold sweat feeling shame and adrenaline. Poor sweet religious baby, I think we all know what he is struggling with. And it’s not lamps.

IT’S THE WEEKEND OF THE BIG FANCY RICH PEOPLE PARTY and Helen returns with her helicopter to fly Gansey and Adam to Northern Virginia. I’m really excited for this party???? Poor Adam is just terrified though. Nervous and anxious. When they land, Helen runs into a Whole Foods so Gansey asks Adam how he’s doing. Adam just lays down in the back of the car and asks to talk about anything else. For a minute, Gansey thinks, Blue, but tells himself don’t you fucking dare. So he calls his British friend Malory who is at a PIGEON SHOW and is all in a tizzy describing the birds, and there’s this adorable scene with the boys trying to hold in their laughter while he’s describing the pigeons. At one point he describes “Pigmy somethings” and are “very feisty” and Gansey mouths to Adam “Blue!” And Adam actually cracks up and laughs out loud. Then he’s back to looking like his old self, which makes Gansey extraordinarily happy. This scene is so cute. I love it so much.

When Adam and Gansey left in the helicopter, Ronan watched them from the hood of his car. He even blew a sarcastic kiss to Gansey before he was out of view. So this first thing he does now that he’s alone is test the set of dream keys to the Camaro lol. They miraculously work, though he dare not drive the car. Gansey LOVES that car. Then he gets a text from Kavinsky that says “You gotta check out my new wheels. See you tonight at 11”. I feel like Ronan is the teenager left home alone while Mom and Dad are out of town lol.

Noah lets Blue into Monmouth Manufacturing to have a snoop fest because everyone is out. I love these paragraphs where the author describes them just doing teenager shit. Raiding the fridge. Playing pool. PLaying with the telescope. Putting on a record. I mean, they totally go through Gansey’s stuff hahaha like go through all he draws in his desk and everything. Then they even LAY DOWN IN HIS BED and we get this phenomenal bit of literature:

Only inches away, Noah blinked sleepily at her. Blue crumpled the edge of the sheet against her nose. It smelled like mint and wheatgrass, which was to say, like Gansey.

As they baked in the sunlight, she let herself think it: I have a crush on Richard Gansey.

In a way, it was easier than pretending otherwise. She couldn’t do anything about it, of course, but letting herself think it was like popping a blister. Of course, the opposite truth also seemed self-evident. I don’t have a crush on Adam Parrish. She sighed.

AAAAHHHHHH!!!!! And also awww Adaaammm but also AWWWW BECAUSE I LOVE GANSEY AND BLUE. But omg I love Adam. IF ANYTHING BAD EVER HAPPENS TO ANY OF THESE KIDS I WILL NOT BE OKAY.

Okay so then Noah says he heard Blue won’t kiss Adam. And she tells him about the psychic prophecy, and confesses that Adam isn’t her true love, anyway. And she just has to go through life not kissing anyone for fear of killing them. Then Noah has an idea: Well, you could kiss me. Oh my gosh I love this because the author completely unlocked a memory for me of how a first kiss feels. They are generally not great hahaha

His mouth mashed her lips until it met teeth. The entire thing was at once slimy and ticklish and hilarious. They both gasped an embarrassed laugh.

Oh my GOD this scene is so fucking cute. They sit up and keep trying, and the next kiss apparently feels like “kissing a dish washer” hahaha. “It’s hard because it’s you!” They say to each other, because they have what I think is firmly a friendship. When it comes to hanging out and being comfortable around each other, Blue is definitely closest to Noah… which I think is so adorable. He is so adorable.

“Is it me?” She asks, because these kisses are terrible. And he’s like YEAH lol you’re too tense. Think of how they kiss in the movies and try to imitate that.

I AM COPYING AND PASTING THIS WHOLE SECTION BECAUSE IT IS SO CUTE.

She sighed and sifted through her memories until she found one that would do. It wasn’t a movie kiss, however. It was the kiss the dreaming tree had showed her in Cabeswater. Her first and only kiss with Gansey, right before he died. She thought about his nice mouth when he smiled. About his pleasant eyes when he laughed. She closed her eyes. Placing an elbow on the other side of her head, Noah leaned close and kissed her once more.

This time, it was more of a thought than a feeling, a soft heat that began at her mouth and unfurled through the rest of her. One of his cold hands slid behind her neck and he kissed her again, lips parted. It was not just a touch, an action. It was a simplification of both of them: They were no longer Noah Czerny and Blue Sargent. They were now just him and her. Not even that. They were only the time that they held between them.

Oh, thought Blue. So this is what I can’t have. Not being able to kiss whoever she fell in love with didn’t feel so different from not having a cell phone when everyone else at school did. It didn’t feel very different from knowing she wasn’t going to be studying ecology abroad for college, or going abroad period. It didn’t feel very different from knowing that Cabeswater was going to be the only extraordinary thing about her life. Which was to say that it was unbearable, but she had to bear it anyway. Because there was nothing terrible about kissing Noah Czerny, apart from him being cold.

She let him kiss her, and kissed him back until he pulled back on an elbow and clumsily wiped away some of her tears with the heel of his fist. His smudge had gotten very dark, and he was cold enough that she shivered. Blue gave him a watery smile. “That was super nice.” He shrugged, eyes doleful, shoulders curled in on themselves. He was fading. It wasn’t that she could see through him. It was that it was hard to remember what he looked like, even while she was looking at him. When he turned his head, she saw him swallow. He mumbled, “I’d ask you out, if I was alive.” Nothing was fair.

“I’d say okay,” she replied. She only had time to see him smile faintly. And then he was gone. She rolled onto her back in the middle of the suddenly empty bed. Above her, the rafters glowed with the summer sun. Blue touched her mouth. It felt the same as it always did. Not at all like she had just gotten her first and last kiss.

I CAN’T. I CAN’T. I CAN’T. I CAN’T — THIS FUCKING BOOK. I AM GOING TO THROW IT ACROSS THE ROOM and then retrieve it and sob all over it and read it some more. That was the cutest fucking scene… Noah is so cute. Blue is so sweet. Poor baby having to go through life not kissing anyone except for her ghost friend who she also kind of likes I guess but it’s a non-starter with him being dead and all. GAWD. AUGH. And on Gansey’s bed?? Fuck.

Alright onto the next chapter.

Ronan picks up Matthew from school and says “Get in the car bitch, we’re going to the house.” (He does not say that. But that’s what they do). While they’re poking around their house, which they are very much not allowed to do, Ronan finds his father’s will and tries to translate a line from it with the puzzle box. It doesn’t turn up with any interesting results. THEN THE OTHER FUCKING BIRD MONSTER IS IN THE HOUSE. There is a truly terrifying scene with the brothers bracing a heavy chest against the door to keep it out of the room with their mother. Then the Bird Person just leaves… because MR. GRAY shows up and is poking a round the room while they hide. He steals the puzzle box (probably thinking it’s the Greywarren) and leaves. So do the boys.

OKAY PARTY TIME. I’M A BALL OF NERVES.

The Gansey mansion is of course, gorgeous. And so are the boys in their tailored suits. Gansey is a GOOD FRIEND. When some rich whose-a-what’s it claps his hand on the back of Adam’s neck, and he notices Adam having PTSD flashbacks of his father throwing him down flights of stairs, he rescues him and gets the man off him with a charming smile and introduction. Adam is collecting business cards left and right. (Yay!) but he’s also kind of losing it a little. He catches glimpses of himself in the mirror that don’t look right and a spirit touches his elbow. Painted branches in paintings look like they’re moving.

There’s this one interesting part where a lady is talking to Gansey and trying to guess his age — and pauses because he has a tendency to look both old and young at the same time. This comes up a good bit so I wonder what’s up with that. Gansey hates this party, by the way, but he’s good at playing the part. And he’s being crazy protective of Adam, knowing this is uncomfortable.

There’s this one really strange moment where the lights go out, and Adam is hallucinating seeing ghosts all around him. And he and Gansey hear the singing of a choir of women, chanting in Latin “Make way for the Raven King.” — then the lights come back on. Turns out Adam is not completely crazy, because everyone saw the lights go out. They heard the choir too, but dismiss it as the musicians being musicians lol. I like that these rich people are like “Oh a ghost choir, how quaint. Har har har”. Gansey meets Adam’s eyes from across the room. THE LEYLINE IS BEING WEIRD, YOU GUYS.

Meanwhile, back in Henrietta, RONAN IS OUT IN THE DAMN CAMARO WAITING FOR KAVINSKY. Ronan noooooooo!!! Noah appears in the passenger’s seat and tells him he doesn’t want to watch him die. He’ll tattle on him. He’ll do it. Ronan’s response:

“Noah,” Ronan said tenderly, placing his palm on top of Noah’s cold, seven-years-dead hand, “you’re starting to piss me off.”

Well they race. And Ronan loses. And just as Noah is saying “Are you happy now?” THE FUCKING NIGHT HORROR LANDS ON THE HOOD OF THE CAR AND BREAKS THE WINDSHIELD. Again I say Noooooooo!!! Noah is a cutie and helps out despite being terrified. He wrestles the bird man on the hood, and manages to take one out. But there’s another one? EIther way, Noah crashes the car into a telephone pole. And then Kavinsky shows up and TAKES OUT A GUN and shoots the night horror, saving Ronan’s life. They stand by the side of the road for a while, and Ronan is freaking out because Gansey is going to kill him, and Kavinsky is like oh my god chill out and come with me. So he does.

Back at the party, Adam and Gansey take a break to go stand upstairs in the hallway outside of Gansey’s old room. They’re drunk— because this whole time, Adam thought he was being handed ginger ale, but somewhere along the way it became champagne. And they talk about their feelings and inevitably get into a fight. I think because they realize they’re on separate paths. Gansey hates this world and never wants to return to it. He loves Henrietta. But Adam hates Henrietta and sees this glittering rich people life as his old way out. They talk about Adam stealing the Camaro to wake the leyline and get into a huge fight where Adam finally lets it out that he hates feeling like he’s always taking orders from Gansey, and if he wants his help finding Glendower, he has to let him search the way he wants to search. Then he ends with this venomous line:

“I don’t need your wisdom, Gansey,” he said. “I don’t need you to babysit me. I got into Aglionby without you. I got Blue without you. I woke the ley line without you. I won’t take your pity.”

AUGH. And breaks some fancy shit on a table. And then they part ways. BABIES NOOOOO!!! Also Adam is just straight up seeing dead people all around him now. Like random men in bowler hats and this chapter closes with a random woman screaming but making no sound.

Alright so Kavinsky… is a character lol. He’s so aloof and crazy, he’s hard to get a read on. But he drives Ronan out to his fairgrounds hideout and reveals a parking lot full of white Mitsubishi cars. All with an identical spoiler and knife graphic on the side. Some have 2 doors. Some have no doors. Some have 4 doors. So Ronan realizes that Kavinsky is a dreamer too, and evidently a better one than he is because he can manifest a whole ass car. So I think these two are in some kind of plan to dream up a new Camaro.

Sad Gansey is sad. With the party still raging, he goes out to a fountain in the garden and calls Blue, and doesn’t tell her anything, just asks her to describe what’s going on in her house. What is everyone doing? And he lays down on the fountain and listens to her talk. And that’s it. That’s the whole chapter. So fucking cute.

The next chapter is all about the Gray man going about his day… snooping around the Kavinsky household. Talking to his Mom?? Who is slumped over a toilet maybe high?? Then we move on. He snoops around Ronan’s BMW and sees that the VIN number is Nial Lynch’s birthday. He waxes poetic about Maura and how much he loves her while he beats up a priest at St. Agnes asking if the Lynch brothers had ever confessed anything weird. It’s violent and adorable at the same time.

The next morning, Gansey is barely holding it together through his mother’s fussy book club luncheon, entertaining 50 year old women and drinking tea. Helen saves him though, noticing he looks miserable. So once he’s in the kitchen, he gets a second to check his texts and Ronan tells him he wrecked the Camaro, but it’s going to be okay and say hi to his Mom. Gansey is like… slowly unraveling at this point lol. He calls Ronan’s phone, but Kavinsky picks up, which is unnerving, and Kavinsky is impossible to talk to. It’s all jokes and quippy quips. He asks to talk to Ronan and Kavinsky goes, “Hey Ronan. WAKE UP FUCK-WEASEL, IT’S YOUR GIRLFIREND. Now he’s pissed. Can I take a message?” And Gansey eventually hangs up on him because Ronan won’t take the phone.

Ronan wakes up in Kavinsky’s bougie home movie theater after a crazy alcohol bender. They talk a little about being Greywarens and Kavinsky reveals that he saw Ronan’s “suicide attempt” last year. His window was nearby or something. So he saw Ronan wake up and the scars appear and he’s known what Ronan was ever since.

When Gansey finally plucks up the courage to talk to Adam, he realizes he’s GONE. He looks all over the place, then gets Helen involved. Then gets his family involved. Then gets the police involved. It’s a full-on Adam man-hunt until Gansey finally gets a phone call from him on some Virginia number he doesn’t recognize. Apparently Adam was found on the side of the highway fifteen miles away and can’t remember how he got there. It took him a while to remember Gansey’s number so he could call. When they pick him up, he looks AWFUL and barely talks. He talks to the family doctor on the phone and passes out on the couch soon after, so the Gansey family goes upstairs to talk.

I kind of love them. They’re rich, but they’re not complete assholes. Helen explains that the doctor said this sounded like a case of… Transient global amnesia. Which is kind of like a mental breakdown where people have spells of wandering off then kind of snapping out of it and not knowing where they are. It’s stress-induced, so the family asks Gansey why Adam might be stressed, and he spills the beans about Adam coming from an abusive household and refusing to live with him. They hatch a plan to try to give Adam a car, but make it sound like he’s taking Helen’s “shitty college car” off her hands….. when they’re actually going to just go buy like a 10 year old Honda lol. That’s cute. But OH GOD POOR ADAM!! He’s losing his marbles!!

Back in Henrietta, Kavinsky is trying to teach Ronan how he brings back such elaborate things from dreams. They’re practicing, basically. Kavinsky is super cavalier about dream stuff. He says to get in and get out before your dream place catches on to you. Take your stuff and leave. They pop green pills that Kavinsky probably dreamed, and it knocks you out immediately (and I think kills you briefly?? Like they stop breathing for a second, then wake up)

When Ronan wakes up, he’s paralyzed for a few seconds. This doesn’t happen to Kavinsky. When Ronan goes to the dream forest, Orphan Girl screams at him to leave (I think she might know his heart is stopping. Or it also might be hurting the leyline energy to manifest stuff from dreams). Ronan and Kavinsky spend basically 2 days doing this… sleeping in the dang car and surviving solely off drugs and Twizlers (Well, Kav does drugs. Ronan just sticks to the dream pills). He tries to bring the Pig (the Camaro) back and ALMOST does it successfully, only it has no engine lol. So Kavinsky gives him a RED pill this time, and we get this weird scene:

Ronan was a stranger in his own body. The sunset cut into his gaze, slantwise and insistent. As his muscles twitched, he lowered himself onto his chest and then rested his cheek against the hood, the heat of the metal not quite painful enough to be unbearable. He closed his eyes. This wasn’t the hurtling-to-sleep pill of before. This was a liquid fatality. He could feel his brain shutting down. After a moment, he heard the hood groan as Kavinsky leaned over him. Then he felt the ridged callus of a finger drag slowly over the skin on his back. A slow arc between his shoulder blades, drawing the pattern of his tattoo. Then sliding down his spine, tensing every muscle it moved over.

Then he passes out and is able to come back with the ACTUAL Camaro. The Orphan girl seems sad — asking him why he’s stealing from them. When Ronan is like “Okay thanks for the pills and the dream training. Bye.” Kavinsky freaks out and is like “You’re running back to HIM? I thought it was going to be you and me! If you’re not with me, you’re against me.”

I think Kavinsky likes Ronan. In other news, NOW THE PIG IS BACK!

And now Adam has a car. Helen’s plan pulled off perfectly. They found a truly shitty car and pretended like the towing company failed to pick it up so it would be doing her a favor and saving her money if he just took it. The Gansey family is so cute. They all leave him little gifts. Adam laments about ruining their Saturday, but also can’t get over the fact that he doesn’t even remember Saturday. Adam is like… hanging by a thread. He keeps disassociating and seeing spirits and trees and has to snap himself back to reality. Even though they haven’t 100% made up yet, he’s touched by the fact that it’s taking every shred of Gansey’s will power to not ask “Are you okay? Do you need anything? You’re my best friend and I love you please be okay.” — So they head back to Henrietta.

The Gray Man comes to 300 Fox Way and I’ve decided I love him. He’s so cute and in love with Maura. He makes her a flower crown. They talk about the Greywaren and how he’s finally figured out it’s a person, not a box. And he can’t go through with kidnapping (Killing he’s fine with but not kidnapping minors lol). With Maura there, Gray calls Greenmantle and tells him, “Hey, the Greywarren isn’t here. I looked everywhere. I think the fault lines are causing the weird energy flow. We gotta keep looking.” And Greenmantle is like… “Okay fucker, you found it didn’t you? I’m on to you. I’m going to call your brother and tell him where you are so he can come fuck your shit up.” (Seriously, his brother sounds awful). So now THAT’S a thing! Greenmantle is coming for everybody. Also Gray Man’s name is Dean.

The next chapter opens with “Gansey only had a few seconds of warning before the Camaro hit him” hahaha. He is like.. LIVID with Ronan. They pull over and Ronan reveals the new Pig Dream car (that has an engine this time.. and is somehow INVINCIBLE. Like you hit it and the metal just pops back into place.) Gansey is struck by Ronan offering a sincere apology for stealing his car. It’s also kind of adorable how proud Ronan is of this creation (as he should be). Gansey is so relieved to see Ronan’s old smile and genuine laugh that he drops his anger easily. Ronan also thinks he knows why Cabeswater dissapeared. They have to stop Kavinsky because that idiot is draining all the magic with his 100 Mitsubishi cars.

Blue makes Calla look at the Camaro wheel and the Shield thingy and this is what she has to say:

Camaro wheel: “He’s not alone when he leaves the car behind.”

Sheild: “They were dragging him at this point. The horses had died. The men were weak. It wouldn’t stop raining. They meant to bury the shield with him, but it was heavy so they left it behind.”

I swear to god. If Gansey ends up dying in this book, I will not be okay. If there’s some kind of tie-in to him and Glendower.. like eventually the gang is going to have to DRAG HIS BODY and try to bury it with the Camaro I will lose my shit.

When they get home Adam is on the front door step.

He comes up to Blue’s room and they get into a fight. She finally tells him about the prophecy, and then she has to be honest and say that even if the prophecy didn’t exist… she realized she doesn’t love Adam. She really wanted to, but she just doesn’t. Blue can also be a little too testy for her own good sometimes. She gets easily offended by the slightest hint of misogyny… which is why Gansey makes fun of her for it all the time. Seriously, she kind of says some mean shit. Which is not great because Adam is losing his grip on reality. And now he just feels alone and unloved and so distant from everyone he thought were his friends.

Persephone catches him on his way down the stairs, which is great because he is full on hallucinating, and she pulls him into the reading room. She says Blue can come if he wants her to be there. And he says no. He wants to do this alone. Persephone explains that he’s out of balance. And she gives him pie lol. And they do this scrying ritual where he looks into a pool of black water to finally confront himself and come to terms with what’s been going on. So he sacrificed his eyes and hands to Cabeswater, but he didn’t sacrifice his mind. So Persephone tells him to quit giving that up. Next, she explains that he hasn’t been listening to Cabeswater. It’s been trying to get his attention with all the ghosts and stuff, but he’s been too wound up in his own pain to listen. So he basically has a psychic acid trip and puts himself back in balance. When he comes out of the vision, he can FEEL tarot cards. Like a heartbeat.

He pulls the Magician which is like… his symbolic card. ADAM IS PSYCHIC NOW and will hopefully feel less crazy from here on out.

He literally passes out on the couch and Persephone says he’ll probably be out for a while. Like a whole day, and when he wakes up he might feel sick. Something huge shifted in him and I can’t wait to see what happens next to this sweetheart.

Blue is majorly depressed about the fight they had. “Why couldn’t I have fallen in love with Adam?” She thinks. She also thinks Adam is so attractive and she could have even kissed him without worrying about killing him. But she’s Blue. And she doesn’t do dishonest stuff like that. Also she’s got the hots for Gansey like whoa.

SO SHE CALLS HIM. And asks him to take her somewhere.

So he shows up with his dream car. And in her favorite kind of outfit — the casual kind with his wire framed glasses (not the done-up preppy Gansey). He asks what happened and she says that she and Adam had a fight. But doesn’t want to talk about it. Instead, like she did for him by the fountain earlier, Gansey tells her about everything going on in his life. About the party and Ronan’s powers and Pigeons etc etc. Blue is finally ready to hear about Adam, so he tells her about how he blacked out and wandered off after they had an argument.

I’m going to copy and paste most of this chapter. DEAL WITH IT!!!!

“Oh, Jane,” he said suddenly. “If you’d been there when we got the call about him walking on the interstate, you would’ve …” He trailed off before she found out what she would’ve done. And then, all of a sudden, he pulled himself together. “Ha! Adam’s communing with trees and Noah keeps reenacting being murdered and Ronan’s wrecking and then making me new cars. What’s new with you? Something terrible, I trust?”

“You know me,” Blue said. “Ever sensible.”

They have a great conversation about how they both come from families with a lot of love. And Adam never experienced that. So of course he reacts differently to things in life. Gansey talks about how much he hates Adam’s parents. The bruises he’d come to school with. It broke his heart.

They drive up to a sort of “Lookout point” and park overlooking the glittering city. He says he’s been all over the world, but Henrietta is the only place that feels like home. He feels like he belongs here. But if he belongs here, why does it hurt so much?

SHUT UP AND READ THIS CUTE PART:

“Jane, in this light,” he started, “you … Jesus. Jesus. I’ve got to get my head straight.” He suddenly threw open the door and got out, seizing the roof to pull himself out faster. He slammed the door and then walked around the back of the car; one hand scrubbed through his hair.

The car was utterly quiet. She heard the buzzing of night insects and singing of frogs and slow chirps of birds who should have known better. Every so often, the cooling engine let out a little sigh like a breath. Gansey didn’t return.

Fumbling in the dark, she pushed open her door. She found him leaning against the back of the car, arms crossed over his chest. “I’m sorry,” Gansey said, not looking at her as she leaned on the car beside him. “That was very rude.”

Blue thought of a few things to reply, but couldn’t say any of them out loud. She felt like one of the night birds had gotten inside her. It tumbled and fumbled every time she breathed. He’s going to die; this is going to hurt — But she touched his neck, right where his hair was cut evenly above the collar of his shirt.

He was very still. His skin was hot, and she could very, very faintly feel his pulse beneath her thumb. It wasn’t like when she was with Adam. She didn’t have to guess what to do with her hands. They knew. This was what it should have felt like with Adam. Less like playacting and more like a foregone conclusion.

He closed his eyes and leaned, just a little, so that her palm was flat on his neck, fingers sprawled from his ear to his shoulder. Everything in Blue was charged. Say something. Say something.

Gansey lifted her hand gently from his skin, holding it as formally as a dance. He put it against his mouth. Blue froze. Absolutely still. Her heart didn’t beat. She didn’t blink. She couldn’t say don’t kiss me. She couldn’t even form don’t. He just leaned his cheek and the edge of his mouth against her knuckles and then set her hand back. “I know,” he said. “I wouldn’t.”

Her skin burned with the memory of his mouth. The thrashing bird of her heart shivered and shivered again. “Thanks for remembering.” He looked back over the valley.

“Oh, Jane.”

“Oh, Jane, what?”

“I can’t — we can’t do this to him.” It was jagged inside her.

“I’m not a thing. To have.”

“No. Jesus. Of course you’re not. But you know what I mean.” She did. And he was right. They couldn’t do this to him. She shouldn’t do it to herself, anyway. But how it made a disaster of her chest and her mouth and her head.

“I wish you could be kissed, Jane,” he said. “Because I would beg just one off you. Under all this.” He flailed an arm toward the stars. “And then we’d never say anything about it again.”

That could’ve been the end of it. I want something more. She said, “We can pretend. Just once. And then we’ll never say anything about it again.” What a strange, shifting person he was.

The Gansey who turned to her now was a world away from the lofty boy she’d first met. Without any hesitation, she stretched her arms around his neck. Who was this Blue? She felt bigger than her body. High as the stars.

He leaned toward her — her heart spun again — and pressed his cheek against hers. His lips didn’t touch her skin, but she felt his breath, hot and uneven, on her face. His fingers splayed on either side of her spine. Her lips were so close to his jaw that she felt his hint of stubble at the end of them. It was mint and memories and the past and the future and she felt as if she’d done this before and already she longed to do it again.

Oh, help, she thought. Help, help, help. He pulled away.

He said, “And now we never speak of it again.”

THIS FUCKING BOOK I SWEAR TO GOD. I read this last night on my phone at like 1am and had to take periodic breaks to breathe and look at the ceiling. This is so fucking sweet. AUGH!!!

Ronan is trying to enjoy watching his Raven hide a cheezeit from him when Kavinsky keeps texting him incoherent shit. Some of it is threatening. Some of it is flirting. They also had a conversation about Kavinsky’s father trying to kill him, so I think this kid is not okay lol. So Ronan falls asleep without the help of the pills and dreams up his FATHER! His father explains that the will has a loophole. “This Will stands as a fact unless a newer document is created” ….. and I instantly feel stupid for not thinking of this sooner. It’s okay. Ronan feels stupid too. It’s like a fun little trick his father played that could have cost the brothers their entire future. THANKS DAD!!

Blue is trying to sleep when her Mom crawls into bed with her and there’s this cute scene where they both realize they’re crying. Blue because she realized she’s in love with Gansey and he’s going to die. Maura because she likes Mr. Gray and she’s worried this Greenmantle dude is going to kill him.

Mr. Gray gets a call from Greenmantle saying he has 2 days to deliver the Greywaren or he’s going to come get him. Or sic is brother on him. Both are bad.

Adam ends up sleeping for 21 HOURS. When he gets up, Henrietta is preparing for the 4th of July. It’s also his birthday! Either the 4th or the 3rd when he was conked out. The author hurls a bunch of rapid fire information at us here. Like Calla’s office was broken into (wherever she works). A white Mitsubishi with keys in the ignition shows up at Monmouth Manufacturing with a note that says “This one’s for you. Just the way you like it. Fast and anonymous.”

And Gansey goes “I think he needs to come to terms with his sexuality.” LOL

When Adam leaves the psychic house, Persephone leaves shortly after in a taxi in the same direction. I guess we will figure out what that means later.

Ronan texts Kavinsky and says “Would you stop bringing back dream shit if you knew it was destroying the world?” And Kavinsky goes, “GOD THAT WOULD BE AWESOME.” — so Ronan and Gansey think “Welp. Now we gotta kill him.” (Just kidding, they don’t say that)

Maura, Calla, and Blue show up in their Ford to pick up Ronan and Gansey. The amount of times people climb into cars in this book not knowing why or where they’re going is pretty funny. The boys are like “What is happening??” - the psychics say “Get in bitch. We’re going to the bed and breakfast Gray is staying at!” Just kidding they don’t actually say anything, because the next chapter starts with the boys standing around like “WHY ARE WE HERE?”

There’s a cute bit where Ronan notices Gansey and Blue are staying far away from each other, so they must have had a fight hahaha

I also love this line:

He [Gansey] was clearly discomfited by what Maura had told him about Adam on the ride over. Ganseys were creatures of habit, and he wanted Adam here, and he wanted Noah here, and he wanted everyone to like him, and he wanted to be in charge.

I love this kid so much. I probably relate to him a little too much.

FINALLY Maura answers everyone’s questions as to why they’re standing in a bed and breakfast room. She says when Mr. Gray comes here, Ronan has to look him in the eye and convince him not to kidnap him. Ronan is like….. “So hit him?”

“No, not hit him.”

“I punch?”

“No punch. You’re the Greywaren and he was sent here to bring you to some rich evil person. And he’s not the only one. There are people crawling all over this city looking for you.” (I’m paraphrasing all this dialogue, by the way)

“Why don’t we just let him take Kavinsky?” - Blue says.

“If they take that other boy, they’ll be back for the snake.” - says Calla.

Also Kavinsky is too stupid to know he’s hurting the leyline. — Ronan

Then the Gray Man arrives.

And explains that if he doesn’t turn in the Greywaren to this eccentric millionaire collector of magical things, his brother is going to hunt him down and torture and murder him. He reveals to Ronan that it was HE who killed his father (sent by Greenman to send a message to Declan, who he thought knew where the Greywaren was). Ronan, who had been pretty cool up until his point, launches at Gray and they get into a scuffle. Even cute little Chainsaw helps lol. It’s chaos up in this bed and breakfast and when Calla says “You, pretty one! Do something!” Gansey is like “Nah I think this is justified.” — Eventually they’re just panting on the floor. And Gray says that on the 4th of July, he’s going to call his boss and say that he found the Greywaren, but he’s keeping it for himself. And then he’s going to run.

MEANWHILE. Adam is having a gay old time in the woods. Okay I don’t mean to make light of this. Actually, it’s REALLY NICE to see him so at peace and finally feeling okay with himself, and the world, and detached from the pain he’s been carrying his entire life. I mean a side effect is kind of…. Also being detached from his friends. Which sucks. But everyone knows you need to love yourself before you can love others, so I like this.

Can I also insert a note that NO ONE HAS SEEN NOAH SINCE HE TACKLED THE NIGHT TERROR??? Um guuyysss??????

Alright so Persephone comes out to help, and together they figure out that the leyline is like a frayed wire. So they drive around all afternoon beneath a big dramatic thunderstorm sensing out rocks. Adam can FEEL the leyline and Cabeswater and knows exactly where all of the special rocks are haha they rearrange them in certain ways, or in some cases, take them and put them in the car.

So Kavinsky’s big 4th of July drug and explosion extravaganza starts. But not before he sends Ronan and threatening text because he has KIDNAPPED MATTHEW. Like an ACTUAL VILLAINOUS ASSHAT. I thought he was just like… Ronan’s rebellious, party hardy friend. Turns out he’s fucking crazy and real mad that Ronan “Didn’t choose him”.

They show up and see Kavinsky arrive with 10 identical Mitsubishis driven by his friends. Matthew is in one of them. And Kavinsky won’t listen to reason. He pops a green pill and promptly passes out against the car. Blue and Gansey are like ummmmm….okay? But Ronan is like shit shit shit he’s going to Cabeswater. He’s going to bring back something awful. You guys find Matthew. I’ll be right back. And he pops and green pill too.

I just imagine Gansey and Blue standing there like “UMMMMM????”

Of course through all of this, killing Kavinsky would be a simple solution, but none of our boys are murdererers so…

In the dream world (aka Cabeswater), Ronan finds Kavinsky getting the shit beaten out of him by the trees. They are sick and tired of these punks coming and stealing their magic.

We get this exchange:

“You don’t have to do this,” Ronan said.

“There isn’t anything else, man.”

“There’s reality.”

Kavinsky laughed the word. “Reality! Reality’s what other people dream for you.”

“Reality’s where other people are,” Ronan replied. He stretched out his arms. “What’s here, K? Nothing! No one!”

“Just us.”

There was a heavy understanding in that statement, amplified by the dream. I know what you are, Kavinsky had said.

“That’s not enough,” Ronan replied.

“Don’t say Dick Gansey, man. Do not say it. He is never going to be with you. And don’t tell me you don’t swing that way, man. I’m in your head.”

“That’s not what Gansey is to me,” Ronan said.

“You didn’t say you don’t swing that way.”

Ronan was silent.

Thunder growled under his feet. “No, I didn’t.”

I love the way homosexuality is handled in this book. There’s not one ounce of cliche.

Kavinsky is strong though, and creates a DRAGON MADE OF FIRE, totally tapping Cabeswater and promptly disappearing back to the real world. Ronan is left alone with the Orphan Girl, who explains to him that “He is the only one”. There may be others in this world that have dream powers, but there’s only one Greywaren. I don’t know what that means. Probably just that he has a special connection with the leyline.

Kavinsky has totally dried up the leyline magic. Adam can sense it. So using his newfound badass intuition, he arranges the rocks he’s been collecting, POINTS AT THE SKY LIKE A LITERAL MAGICIAN, and gets a lightning bolt to strike in the middle of it. Don’t think too hard about how this happens. Adam is magic now. That’s all we need to know. Ronan, in the dream, in Cabeswater, can SEE ADAM doing this in the real world, and they have an amazing moment of recognition where Adam says “I know it was you who arranged the rent. I figured it out.” But he’s not mad. He’s calm. (Maybe… appreciative?) — and then Adam is like “Now Ronan. Go.”

And with the leyline charged up from the lightning strike (thanks magic Adam!) Ronan tries to think of something to defeat Kavinsky’s dragon. But at the worst possible moment, all he hears is the sound of a night horror. He’s like um, no trees. Bad trees. This is not helpful.

But the trees reply something to the effect of: A sword is only dangerous in the hands of someone… like… looking to hurt people with it. Or something. DO not fear your night horrors, Ronan. (But in pretty Latin tree speak)

A giant fucking two-headed albino raven manifests.

“Why do you hate you?” (The Orphan girl asks)

Ronan thought about it. The albino night horror swept in, talons opening.

Ronan stood up, stretching out his arm like he would to Chainsaw. “I don’t,” he said.

And he woke up.

Love it. Love this metaphor for Ronan coming to terms with himself. (Our religious boi… has a lot going on)

So back in the real world there’s an epic kaiju battle between a fire dragon and a lightning raven and everyone is too drunk and high to notice. They’re all cheering like “WHOA!! Kavinsky’s fireworks are always so crazy!”. Meanwhile Blue and Gansey are running around checking all of the Mitsubishis for Matthew.

There’s fire everywhere. Everything is on fire and it’s getting worse by the second while Kavinsky stands on the hood of the car losing his god damned mind. He reminds Ronan that he killed his own father. AND EVEN HIS BEST FRIEND Propopenko. Then he just dreamed them back into existence — clever duplicates. This kid is actually insane.

Finally, they find Matthew in the trunk of one of the cars. They get him out and hit the ground just before the fire dragon careens down toward them. Kavinsky won’t get off the car. And he utters “Life is a nightmare.” Before his own creation kills him. DUDE this kid is messed up. Once he’s dead, all of the dream things go into their coma state. Propopenko’s car crashes because he’s asleep at the wheel.

Alright so the last knot to tie up is the Gray man. He’s in the dream Mitsubishi. He’s driving down the highway drawing out all the other hit men AND his homicidal brother. This goes on for a while and the author does a great job of building up the tension. They drive and drive and drive. He pulls into a gas station and has a lovely chat with some henchmen, convincing them to give up and go away.

Then, the moment of truth.

He has to face his brother, who has tortured him in the past and will surely torture him again. We’re all just dreading this. Like oh my god what’s he gonna do? WHat kind of epic battle are they gonna have in this parking lot? What are we going to have to endure reading as Gray’s brother ties him up and tortures him.

Welp.

They pull up in their cars, side by side. And Gray’s brother is like “Hellooo brother.” And Gray just…. Reaches for a gun in the passenger's seat and shoots him. Twice.

He’s dead now.

All that build up and the guy gets shot and Gray drives off. I laughed out loud at this. Like literally, this is like Whelk dying by getting trampled by random dream beasts. Like… OKAY, WE’LL TAKE IT!!!

In the epilogue, Cabeswater is back. The leyline has been restored and balanced. Ronan and Mathew go get their comatose mother and take her to the forest. The second they arrive, she wakes up. Noah is back!! Ronan dreams a new will that allows him and his brothers to set foot at the Barns whenever they want. But they can’t live there until they’re 18.

Ronan stares at Adam for an absurd amount of time, noticing how different he looks (now that he’s not depressed or crazy). Noticing how attractive he is. There’s this beautiful line about secrets. And how “Adam Parrish was Ronan’s second secret.” — AWWWWW

Adam shows the gang how the pool in Cabeswater dried up, and now it has revealed a black-rock cave leading deep underground. Gansey is immediately like “Do we go in it? Do we go in now? Glendower down there. I find Glendower.” And Adam is like “I don’t think it’s safe.” — and everyone trusts the boy with a mental link to the magic forest.

This book ends with everyone clamoring back to 300 Fox Way (I think they got a phone call) and they find a tipped over skrying bowl, and a sloppy note from Maura that says “Glendower is underground and so am I.”

DUN DUN DUNNNN THE END!!!!

Well, I just loved this book and I am ecstatic that I am halfway through this series. This world is weird. I love the writing voice. I love these CHARACTERS SO MUCH and I love how much they love each other. They just care about each other SO MUCH. I’m trying to avoid spoilers like crazy while I look at fan art. I am not okay about Gansey being fated to die. I am not okay about him and Blue being so in love and not able to kiss. This series is wrecking me.

I can’t wait to read the next book and learn how the next villain gets killed anticlimactically lol. I do feel sorry for Kavinsky. He was very troubled. Poor boy had too much money and power and not enough love. And I like that the Gray man is part of the gang now. BUT NOW WE HAVE TO FIND MAURA!!!

Deadass Rating: 8.5/10

Unofficial theme song: “Trying to Sleep” byWolfie’s Just Fine

#the raven cycle #maggie stiefvater #raven boys #the dream thieves #blue x gansey #adam x ronan #joseph kavinsky #maura sargent #the raven boys #noah czerny #ronan lynch #richard gansey #gansey

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