#nevertheless i persist

[oldworldwidgets]

DELILAH TIME DELILAH TIME

here she is. officially. my beloved fallout 4 oc delilah !!!! first piece done by @zetobii and the second by @leavingautumn13

i dont draw so all art of delilah comes from my dear friends who draw her for me/with their ocs and tell me i can post it OR from commissions. what i can do, however, is write <3 and make playlists and pinterest boards for visuals <3 so prepare urself <3

speaking of which, you can find her playlist here and her pinterest board here!! theyre chronological, so listening/scrolling in order should more or less tell her story too

ok so: her appearance, personality, stats, story, and some fun facts are here under the cut (its a lot fyi ok i just love her so much) pls enjoy

delilah lore (delilore?) be upon ye:

appearance:

24 years old, 5’10”

very fair skinned with bright green eyes and jet black hair

her hair is wavy and flows down to the middle of her back. she has one small braid behind her right ear

covered in freckles, from her nose to her knees. she has a tiny scar above her mouth from a past split lip and a slit in her opposite eyebrow from a past black eye

midriff is heavily discolored from past bruises - the pigmentation never fully went away - and marred with keloid scars from deep cuts from things she refuses to talk about. if her dress has a high enough slit, bruises can peek out near the very tops of her legs

large black kingsnake tattoo wrapping up a her left arm with its head near her shoulder and its tail near/on her hand

she can almost always be found in her wine-colored silk dress that reaches only about mid-thigh, nails manicured and lips painted to match. it has spaghetti straps and is loosely bodycon.

she wears stacks of gold rings (as many as possible, really) and dangly gold snake earrings

the only things she keeps on her person are the dagger and the gun strapped to her thighs under her dress. her gun was a gift from KL-E-0. it is a custom gold-plated, silenced 10mm. lilah named it "Mine"

stats:

if fo4 had a karma slider, lilah would land pretty firmly on evil. on a dnd alignment chart, think chaotic neutral or neutral evil

SPECIAL: 2, 8, 2, 10, 7, 4, 3

she's not strong nor has much endurance, but when you're as smart, perceptive, and charismatic as she is, you can charm people into carrying your stuff for you anyway.

her perks are party girl (alcohol/chem resistance), black widow (damage/persuasion against men), night person (higher int at night), and intimidation (pacify, instruct, and force opponents to attack). and deacon's cloak and dagger, of course.

personality:

cold, calculated, distant

cares about very, very few people (and even fewer things) but is fiercely loyal to those people. she's a railroad agent, but only because deacon cares about the cause and she begrudgingly cares about deacon

she and deacon clash. he refused to even vouch for her admission to the railroad. she gets along much better with glory, but she still gets assigned to run jobs with deacon because they keep each other in check and are deadly efficient as a pair (theyre also in love but they keep it a secret from everyone including each other)

she cares about very very few people but it fiercely loyal to those people. she is a railroad agent, but only because deacon cares about the cause and she "begrudgingly" cares about deacon (she cares literally so much do not let her fool u)

her moral compass is not magnetic. right and wrong is whatever she wants it to be. she takes no issue killing people if they wrong her. sexual harassment or subterfuge/targeted deception send marks to the top of her hit list.

her story:

her birth name is allie eden

she is not a sole survivor; she was born into the capital wasteland chapter of the brotherhood of steel. despite sentinel lyons' best efforts, delilah responded far better to scribe training than to combat training

she and arthur maxson were the only two kids in the citadel, and they became fast friends, even after the lyons pride crumbled and maxson was appointed elder.

he appointed her his sentinel, second in command, which she embraced until she saw how terribly the wasteland was faring under his leadership.

she promptly absconded and, because she had been so sheltered until that day, quickly lost herself to chems and alcohol.

months passed in, thanks to all the blackouts, what felt like hours. one night, allie woke up in a warm bed that she did not fall asleep in. a man named dante deangelo had pulled her body from a D.C. gutter and made sure she was safe.

in no time, they fell in love and decided to escape to the commonwealth. they found a small, basement apartment in goodneighbor and allie began tending bar at the third rail.

dante, slowly but surely, became more abusive. he left bruises and deep cuts on her body anywhere her third rail uniform would cover. she stayed, though, because she'd been raised by the brotherhood to believe that love was harsh and painful. to obey without question. to submit to authority.

eventually, she tired of that life and snapped, killing dante before he could leave any more marks on her. something... shifted. maybe it was allie eden who entered their apartment that morning, but it was delilah who left it that night.

KL-E-0, who was quite fond of allie and is far fonder of delilah, fitted her with pistol, Mine.

instead of hiding behind the bar like she had when she was with dante, she began to use it to her advantage. every dusty drifter with full pockets full of caps left her bar empty handed. but it wasnt enough.

she began targeting triggermen, who she knew were peddling chems for... someone in goodneighbor. the moment a man started flirting with her (which she hated), it was like a red dot sight appeared on their foreheads. she'd seduce them, take them back to her apartment, get her caps and chems and information, and the men would never be seen again.

morowski, goodneighbor kingpin, eventually approached her at work about his shrinking pool of chem peddlers. they struck a deal: he would slip her into his operation as his newest arm candy, and she would peddle his chems at her bar.

it worked flawlessly until morowski actually fell in love with her. go figure. unless, of course, that was lilah's plan all along...

while she's still participating in this farce with morowski, she meets drummer boy, who she ends up truly enjoying the company of even despite her general distaste for men. eventually, he convinces her to join the railroad with him

because morowski is in love with delilah, she has no issue squeezing information out of him when deacon asks her to: morowski is an institute informant. lilah quickly, uh, deals with that problem, and the next days, morowski is found dead in his office at the rexford. cause of death: self inflicted gunshot wound. what a tragedy.

because delilah was his "other half," his unofficial widow, she inherited morowski's whole chem operation

now, she happily spends her days directing the triggermen and tending her bar - for fun and for information, at this point, because she certainly doesnt need the caps. when she needs to run for the railroad or her beloved friends need her professional black widow skills, whitechapel charlie is "happy" to cover for her. as happy as he can manage, anyway.

fun facts:

she is terrified of storms, heights, and violent outbursts from people she trusts

her name comes from the bible story of sampson and delilah, where delilah is paid by the government to seduce sampson (a man of god) and tempt him to sin by telling her what gives him his inhuman strength. after three attempts, she is successful. sampson tells her that god gives him his strength through his hair. she then cuts his hair, which ultimately leads to his death. i mean what a bad bitch

she is still deeply unhappy even after she wraps goodneighbor around her finger because she still doesnt know who she is

she's skeptical of maxson's move to the commonwealth. she is very much on the run from him (and the bortherhood as a whole), and ham happily vets drifters for her to ensure theyre not undercover brotherhood before letting them into the bar.

she and maccready arent exactly "friends" but they harbor mutual respect for each other since they spend so much time together. mac had to call her off like a guard dog when winlock and barnes paid him a visit, so shes confident he would do the same if the brotherhood ever came knocking.

#WHEW LORE DUMP #mutuals and followers u r gonna MEET DELILAH and u r gonna LIKE IT ‼️‼️ #shes not very nice but she would LOVE to be friends or frenemies or rivals with ur ocs!!!!! #she wont bite i prommy!!!!! (voice of a guy who is lying) #its taken so long for me to dump about any of my ocs bc being a writer on The Art Website is not ideal #nevertheless i persist #and my ask box/comments are SO open for questions or ask game suggestions or marriage proposals idk whatever :P #anyway bring on the tags #oc: delilah #oldworld.ocs #fallout 4 #fallout 4 oc #fo4 oc #fallout oc #fo4

[saints-who-never-existed]

Rereading The Terror

Chapter Twenty-Seven: Crozier

This chapter deals with Crozier's withdrawal and is mainly an info-dump of future events he sees with his 'Second Sight'. Nevertheless there are a few bits and bobs that signify.

Just like in the show, he gives his pistol to Little for everyone else's protection and his own.

There's a great little passage about his attending a Catholic Mass with his grandmother - presumably the inspiration for Hodgson's famous monologue. Crozier remembers "the tall priest strutting like a carrion crow and pronouncing magic in a dead language". It's particularly interesting to me that he was so enamoured with rituals he deemed 'heathen' only to find them so abhorrent now and order punishment for other men engaged in 'heathen' activity aboard the ship.

All throughout the chapter, he's very conscious of Terror being pinched by the ice and finds it difficult to know where he stops and the ship begins - "All around him the ship groans as the ice crushes it. The Captain can no longer tell the groaning of the ship from his own moans."

He thinks of Sophia and we are treated to the sentence: "Sophia Cracroft enters him. Crozier moans around the biting strap."

Finally, we have a deliciously weird and symbolic vision of Communion: "...a trembling Crozier...approaches the altar rail, kneels, puts his head back, opens his mouth, and extends his tongue for the Forbidden Wafer - the Body of Christ - pure transubstantiated cannibalism to all the other adults in Crozier's village...[] Crozier is naked as he kneels... [] The priest looming and dripping over him has no Wafer in his hand. He has no hands. Instead, the dripping apparition leans over the altar rail, leans far too close, and opens its own inhuman maw as if Crozier is the Bread to be devoured."

Chapter Twenty-Eight: Peglar

Peglar and Bridgens take a stroll together, enjoy the first thing close to a sunrise they've seen all year, and have a chat.

We get a bit of backstory on their relationship - that Peglar loved Bridgens and that Bridgens had made him "ponder what it meant to be a man". We also learn that Peglar was the one to first instigate physical intimacy which is nice.

As they stroll past the charred and blackened site of Carnivale, they find a polar bear skull among the wreckage and reminisce first about their shared experiences with Charles Darwin and then about Sir Charles Lyell, geologist and a heavy influence on Darwin's theories. This is interesting to me for two reasons: Firstly, I'm just always excited to see Lyell's name in print, having worked on and handled his personal correspondence, notebooks, and other archives in my day-job. That's my boiiii right there! Secondly, there's a fantastic little passage about his theories - "...Lyell's contention about the age of things...About the very un-Christian idea that things change slowly over immense aeons of time rather than very quickly due to very violent events". That just feels very symbolic to me - I suppose in their imperialist, colonialist culture, change that happens very quickly by violence is the only kind of change they really know or understand...

We then find out that in the days preceding, Hickey has staged a near-mutiny aboard Terror - word has gotten out about Silna's ice-tunnel and the men are not happy. They're so unhappy, in fact, that Hickey and his cohorts planned to cut poor Silna's throat in cold blood as she made her way to dinner. I've written "NASTY BOYS!" next to this passage.

Crozier gathers them all together, makes them sit on the cold floor, brings Silna forward and says that if they really want to kill her, they all have to do it together, that "murder on a ship is like a canker and spreads unless everyone is already inoculated by being an accomplice". Which is all very well and noble but I can't help but think he's playing very fast and loose with a life that isn't his own.

Crozier has Goodsir explain again all the horrors of scurvy and ends on the point of how incredibly stupid it is to want to kill the only person who is able to procure the fresh meat that provides the cure. That, at least, is a good point and well made.

They agree amongst themselves that Hickey is a "treacherous little shit", that he's preyed upon young boys on previous voyages. But then we end on a nice, if bittersweet, moment of fleeting physical intimacy - Peglar cups Bridgens' face briefly in his hand. "The touch was very light and neither man could feel it through the incipient frostbite, but it would have to serve."

#The Terror #The Terror AMC #Observations #Random Observations #Meta #Rereading The Terror #Terror Spoilers #Again this one really got away from me #Nevertheless I persist #Francis Crozier #Henry Peglar #John Bridgens #Cornelius Hickey #Silna #Lady Silence

[sweatloaf2002]

positively 4th st / from a buick 6 - bob dylan

#Luv when i find picture sleeves #my vinyl #bob dylan #positively 4th street #from a buick 6 #vinyl #if i had a scanner these would look better #nevertheless i persist

[primatechnosynthpop]

Silly mode (ID in alt)

#the degree to which these actually look anything like who they're supposed to varies considerably #his face continues to elude me #nevertheless i persist #doodle tag

[neverquiteedenstudyblr]

11.02.24

Quests for today:

Get Secret Valentine's present ✅️

Get card for friend undergoing confirmation✅️

Go to brunch✅️

Some form of exercise✅️

Watch Cancer lectures ✅️

Write essay for Ecology❌️

Make decision about whether to move up to W2 in rowing ❌️

Obtain wool✅️

Get tea✅️

Make flashcards❌️

Make vines for friend's birthday and put together to send off✅️

Make keyring for niece✔️(2/3 done)

Sleep before 1am❌️

8.67/13

Last night my neighbours were having a get together so I didn't manage to fall asleep when I wanted to, which is fine (good for them honestly it's a Saturday night) but that DID mean that I slept through half of brunch. Also due to the level of exercise I did yesterday, I feel utterly exhausted today and yet yesterday was my designated rot day so Studying Must Still Be Done Today.

Grant me strength to get things done

#realistic studyblr #studyblr #diary blog #chaotic academia #university student #uni life #friendship #rowing #cambridge university #cambridge life #stem life #good god i'm tired #why did i decide to try to be an athlete #regretting all my decisions #We Go On #Nevertheless I persist #let's fuckin gooooooo

[naomilibicki]

"Don't put poetry in your fantasy novel; you're probably not good at it"

Hmmmm sounds like a skill issue

Seriously though, there may have been a time when fantasy authors who had no interest in writing poetry nevertheless felt the need to throw some in there because Tolkien did, and needed to be gently told, "Actually you don't have to do that", but I would hope that time is long past. It's also the case that you can write about a character who is a poet, or a bard, or whatever, and not include any of their poetry, in the same way that you can write about a character who is a sanitation engineer and not include any actual sewers (although if you're Victor Hugo, you're going to include the sewers anyway).

But since when is "Don't try; you're bound to fail" any sort of sound artistic advice? And I hate the idea that poetry is something that can only be produced by ~poets, by what mystical process we know not, rather than a mode of writing that can be learned and improved through practice, and which you have to do badly before you can do it well like literally any other craft.

Is there a lot of terrible poetry in fantasy books? Sure; there's also plenty of godawful prose, but no one is out there saying "Pack it in boys, from now on it's verse epics only."

Anyway I will increase the fucking thing

#writing stuff #i did see this given as a piece of general advice recently (as well as frequently in the past) which is what set me off #but i have not actually had anyone say it specifically to me about my book #which to be fair is probably because not very many people have read my book #if more people read my book i am sure some people would hate the poetry in it! because not everybody likes everything #and poetry in fantasy books can be especially controversial obvs #nevertheless i persist

[macabrity]

forgot to check the shipping address when placing my order and my packages are going to my previous residence -_- at least they go to the office usually as opposed to directly to the unit but. sigh. another little challenge for snori to overcome I see

#nevertheless I persist #mac rambles #of course I realize this at the start of a two day holiday when they’re closed but I’ve set an alarm to call the office and let them know

[cutemothman]

so humbling to get a decent amount of notes on my xf and wwdits gifs and then turn around and get -2 notes on my kpop sets

#nevertheless i persist #i don't really care honestly i gif for ME #chrissy.txt

[oglegoggle]

Tomorrow is my last full day here. I still have to load all my stuff into my car and I am not thrilled about it

#this is goggles #bleh I hate having to do everything on my own #nevertheless I persist

[mississpissi]

portal is ruining my life send help

#i’m bad at video games. like. BAD. #nevertheless i persist

[saints-who-never-existed]

Rereading The Terror

Chapter Thirty-One: Goodsir

Big big action happening aboard Erebus in this chapter - Tuunbaq has made it inside and is wreaking bloody havoc on the lower decks. Lord knows the book isn't perfect but to give Simmons his dues, this chapter really is spectacular in descriptions not only of awe-inspiringly horrific violence but the utter hopelessness of the situation in general.

First, hopelessness. Before the main action begins, Goodsir awakes from a nightmare and reflects on his own inability to help his fellow men given his more limited anatomist's knowledge. But he also remembers something of a confession from the late Dr Peddie - that much of the medicines even the "proper" doctors dispensed were mainly purgative placebos - "the more powerful the purgative, the more effective the seamen thought the treatment was... In most cases not involving actual surgery, the body either healed itself or the patient died." Which is...less than reassuring!

Soon enough, Goodsir is summoned to the scene of action alongside Fitzjames, Des Voeux, and Le Vesconte. Fitzjames refers to Des Voeux by his first name (possibly incorrectly, I'm sure I've read something about the real Des Voeux going by 'Fred' rather than 'Charles' as he's referred to here but someone do correct me if I'm wrong). Le Vesconte gets no such familiarity.

Collins is there too and he's demonstrably unhappy about being sent below unarmed with the intention that Le Vesconte and the Marines will head to the weapons stores and arm everyone in due course once they're down there. I mean, fair enough mate!

Another very vivid and atmospheric detail that I think the show would've struggled to capture is just how dark everything is. They've not even really got enough fuel to heat the ship in any kind of meaningful way at this point, let alone to light it so much of this chapter plays out in terrifying darkness and tiny, inadequate circles of lamplight.

Once below, they discover the first casualties very quickly - Mr Gregory who's been disembowelled, and another seamen whose head's stuck in the furnace. This man's mouth catches on the door of the furnace as they pull him out and they inadvertently snap his fucking teeth off which is one of the worst things I've ever read...(but not for long!!)

They try to head above again only to find Tuunbaq's swiped the ladder to smithereens (something about entering a space you can't get back from, perhaps?) and it's then that fire starts to take hold. They've no water to fight it - even the piss buckets are frozen over - so Fitzjames orders a bucket brigade to dump as much snow as possible on the flames instead. Very resourceful, Jamie Fitzjamie!

Le Vesconte and the Marines are firing blindly into the smoke, just like at Carnivale and to equally little effect. Goodsir falls to his knees (he ran into a wooden post in the darkness so the poor bugger's head's already ringing) "remembering how he had told the crew of Terror that scurvy victims could die from the mere sound of a musket shot".

No sooner do the guns fall silent but a man staggers out from the flames and collapses into Goodsir's arms. It's Collins - who's missing half his face and his right arm. (I want Collins to swoon into Goodsir's arms just as much as the next gal but not like this! Not like this!). Extra shout-out to Mr Downing the Quartermaster who hustles an unconscious Collins singlehandedly up a whole goddamn ladder to the sick-bay.

The situation is no less dire once they make it there. Collins' wounds literally steam in the open air though at least they're clean enough that Goodsir's able to sew them up fairly quickly and worry slightly less than usual about the possibility of infection. The claw marks across Collins' chest though are deep enough to expose rib, and his eye cannot be saved or put back in place in his poor smashed-up face. Goodsir literally SNAPS OFF THE BONE SPLINTERS AROUND HIS FUCKING EYE SOCKET (WITH NO ANAESTHESIA WHATSOEVER!) but it's no use.

Eventually, Fitzjames appears again. They don't know if Tuunbaq is still there or not but the fire is contained and the worst appears to be over. It's then that Goodsir remembers seeing another person belowdecks - likely dead but possibly still alive - and he's duty-bound to check which it is. Fitzjames clearly feels duty-bound also and resolves to accompany Goodsir, specifically calling him 'Doctor' for the first time - it's a weary and bittersweet little moment but lovely nonetheless, especially after all the violence and misery. They're so so done in but by god they're still going to do their best! So fuck it, I'm going to quote it more or less in full: "Goodsir had heard the "doctor". Franklin and his commander has almost never called the surgeons that, not even Stanley and Peddie, the chief surgeons. They - and Goodsir - had almost always been the lower "Mister" to Sir John and the aristocratic Fitzjames." "But not this time." ""We have to go down and see," said Goodsir. "I have to go down and see. One or the other might still be alive" "The thing from the ice might be alive and waiting down there as well," Fitzjames said softly. "No one saw or heard it leave." "Goodsir nodded tiredly and lifted his medical bag..." [] ""I'll come with you, Dr Goodsir," said Captain Fitzjames. He held up an extra lamp that Downing had carried in. "Lead on, sir."

#The Terror #The Terror AMC #Observations #Random Observations #Meta #Rereading The Terror #Terror Spoilers #Again this one really got away from me #Nevertheless I persist #Harry Goodsir #James Fitzjames #Henry Foster Collins #Charles Frederick Des Voeux #Henry Le Vesconte #Dundy

[dadodoizded]

I hate her so much and I will not waste any more time trying to explain myself, but at the end of the day, life is about small victories :)

#family is family #nevertheless i persist

[julictcapulet]

someone tell this girl to stop requesting me for this group on goodreads, i don't want to join, you've asked me three times now bestie and i've always said no!!

#xoxo gossip belle #the trials and tribulations of being universally adored 😔 #nevertheless i persist

[aircushionedsoles]

im in line to see sammy rae rn (win) but im also feeling way too overstimulated by the cars and the people talking and dudes selling shit on the sidewalk (loss)

#nevertheless i persist #and im sorry but like pls dont talk to me if my earphones are in. please. #talking

[kwisatzzhaderach]

known fruit-disliker eats half a mandarin orange voluntarily. more at 8

#cannot stand the texture but i just want to like fruit #nevertheless i persist #🪐

[sevenblues]

i want to watch George’s vod but im in a hashtag roadtrip and idk why but watching him react to tiktoks in the car makes me physically sick

#nevertheless i persist #<-real golo moment