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mental-health-advice · 7 years

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Submission about being trans and religious from pops

I’m tired all the time and I’ve stopped fighting, I’m just pretending my problems don’t exist which is making matters worse. I keep telling myself to focus on the issues but my brain won’t let me. I’m getting really worn down by my family, I’m trans and I want to come out to them so bad but my brother makes homophobic, transphobic, and r*pe jokes and uses cr**ple and r**ard as slurs (which upsets me so much, my dad said he can’t ban him from saying those things cause he’s an adult). #pops 1

I’m really scared my mum’ll say something about how I can’t be religious now or how it’s ‘wrong’ bc she’s been christian for a lot longer so I feel like she knows more than I do so what she says is true and it doesn’t take much for my faith to be shaken. I get these breakdowns at night begging for a sign that there’s someone there and to please show me that it’s okay to be lgbta+, but I never get any. I feel so disgusting bc I’m lying to everyone. I was raised a Jehovah’s witness and #pops 2

I want to find a lgbta+ friendly one, bc I feel uncomfortable leaving my religion cause it’s all that I’ve known and all I’ve believe. Whenever I search for one it just comes up w hate about JW so I’m always lying about my religion now. I can’t tell anyone about it bc I’ve been abused abt being one before, by multiple people. My counsellor thinks it’s a bit weird so I don’t talk to her about it. I genuinely don’t agree w the homophobic/transphobic rules (and some other rules) the jw make #pops 3

and I’m praying there’s someone out there who’s either accepting of me being a jw or a fellow jw who’s lgbta+ friendly. I need a friend who’ll get me back on track w my faith, my only friend’s an atheist (which is okay, I love them so much, I just need to have someone like that) I’m tired of all this hate over who you are, whether it race, religion, sexuality or gender. I hope you don’t mind me talking about being a jw, I’m so tired of trying to do the right thing and failing #pops 4

Hey there, pops. I’m sorry that you are dealing with this issue. Religion can be a tricky subject especially when it comes to the particular things like if homosexuality is acceptable. I think I know my fair share about religion, being raised catholic. I know how hard it is to not feel right/ feel not accepted. I have some advice for you. Some of this advice is opinions so take from it what you will.

Just so you know, you are not alone. I myself am not gay but I know personally someone who is religious and gay. I also looked up the statistics for your situation and it says that 40% of same sex couples in Australia identify as Christian. Lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people are likely to be a significant, if covert, presence in conservative Christian churches. So what you are dealing with isn’t new. It is possible to be transgender and religious.

I will just tell you that I, myself, am for lgbtq+ rights and am an ally, as it is called. I am also catholic. I don’t think there is anything wrong with being gay or transgender. Being catholic, I was basically told that same-sex marriage and intercourse is wrong but God still loves you. I think this can translate into your life as well.

When it comes to religion, there are often a lot of rules and regulations. You are often told that you have to believe this or do this or it is a sin. I believe that not all of these rules are exactly correct. I think that you can still believe in one religion but you can still disagree with parts of it. Like in Catholicism there are a lot of different things that are considered mortal sins. When you commit a mortal sin you have to go to confession. If you die with a mortal sin not forgiven you will go to hell. I don’t 100% think this is right. I think if you are truly sorry for something that is bad then you don’t need to ask a priest for forgiveness. I think that it is okay to disagree and you are not a bad person for thinking this.

I would recommend talking with someone about your situation. If you can’t find someone you are comfortable with then I would recommend seeing a therapist. You say that your therapist thinks it’s weird so why not try talking to a different one?

I would also recommend talking with your mother about the situation. This is going to take a lot of courage to do. If you think you are ready but don’t know how to say it aloud then I would recommend writing it out as a letter. This will reduce anxiety and gives you a chance to figure out what you want to say. Remember that your mother loves you. It may take a while for her to accept you, but it will be worth telling her.

I know you can get through this. It’s going to take some time for people to get used to but they are just going to have to deal with it. Remember that we have a live chat service that is available to everyone. You can send in a request or see if an admin has posted that they are online. I wish you luck!

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-Rachel

“The sun will rise and we will try again.”

#mharachel #advice #advice blog #mental health advice #transgender #jehovah's witness #religion #catholic #pops

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