#nd i wanted comfort

[chrliekclly]

charden is v important to me bcuz they recognize their traumas n each othr...

#charden #chardennis #charlie kelly #dennis reynolds #iasip #always sunny #fanart #mine #my backstory for this is its around uncle jacks bday nd bonnie is once again letting him stay w them to celebrate (:\) #so charlie comes to school lookin rough probs stayd up all night nd huffd glue jst coping nd den Knows tht type of rough #nd kinda wordlessly comforts him in a free moment.... #im such a ffag #n e way this is how im imagining them as hs seniors #T kickin in fr charles....im fully nto th tboy (/nb) charlie headcanon by now #im forcing myslf to dra bettr cuz i like charden sooooooo much #nd want to b able to draw em a bit oldr than i draw mac nd charlie...nd my stupid cutesy artsyle isnt good @ that #but now den looks TOO old i feel like lmfgkjhng i struggle #ANYWAYS hi im posting another draft i had 👀 #still hoping to color my comic soon. last day of the job today! my body is destroyed from it :')

[silenthillbunni]

☃️

#out of nowhere i just got reminded of how in 9th grade during a break i was sitting w my friend group nd studying #me nd one of my friends got into just a silly argument bc she was always trying to cause friction lol #then she suddenly got rlly mad nd it resulted in her throwing a book in my face #and saying that i should just go kill myself and make the world a better place #and all our other friends just silently started packing up their things nd then just left #she left too #so i fled to the bathrooms nd cried for a long time not wanting to go to class #i ended up being a bit late to class nd walking into the classroom w all of my 'friends' in there was so weird #i also told our teacher but she didnt believe me nd just said that she (the friend) would never say or do smth like that #if just one of those friends would've stayed and comforted me..... #idk i am oversensitive so even small things hurt me lol but this was such an unpleasant nd bad moment for me #i felt so alone.... nd like none of them would care if i did kill myself. bc none of the protested when she said that skskksks #anyway.. i rlly dont wanna think abt my school time at all but sometimes i have dreams abt them nd i wake up remembering :((((

[autistic-katara]

i wish there was a way for u to specify who u want hurting and who u want comforting when looking for h/c fics

#once again none of the fics i’m looking for have the character i want being the comforter- #this time it’s a pair nd all the fics r either her comforting him or one of them comforting another character #i hate everything #am i going to have to write it myself? #i can’t i need to be up tomorrow + am working on smthn else #tragedy #ryan shut the fuck up #ao3

[phantomdecibel]

FUCK you: re-canonifies your Flower!AU

Anyways what if Polites actually still dies flower au au (bit o context in the tags, just so this drabble makes a bit more sense since it doesnt exactly follow canon aha-)

Rattlesnake Root

shield, step carefully.

Watching Ajax rush across the deck, calling out orders while cradling little Astyanax in his arms, the realization hit Odysseus like a brick.

This is what Polites had meant.

Eurylochus’s voice still echoed in his ears — but Odysseus wasn’t hearing any of it. Everything sounded muffled, like he was listening to (one of) his best friend chew him out from underwater. He must have started yelling louder, because the teenager glanced over at the two of them, something Odysseus hesitated to label as anything other than concern written across his face.

He wanted to yell.

He wanted to scream, keep shooting venom like arrows, jump up and pace, even.

Instead he stood, hands clasped over the rail, staring blankly past the blurred shape of his friend. It was both too loud and yet too quiet and annoyingly chilly and somehow everything was way too bright. It felt like there should be a storm brewing overhead, yet the only rain falling came from his eyes. The sun shone down unapologetically overhead, and Odysseus fought back an unintelligible scream.

This is what Polites had meant, what he’d pleaded back in that forest.

If you don’t talk to us, if you don’t trust us, then how can we help?

He’d thought he’d had it all under control, that his own hangups weren’t affecting anyone else, but clearly he’d been wrong. Maybe it was the lack of sleep, or just plain ignorance, but Odysseus had fucked up, pushed too far.

He wanted to sob.

He was already crying, Odysseus realized in a vague, sort of detached way. His face felt… damp, and tight from the salt already starting to dry. Something hit his hand; again and again and again, and rolled down his knuckles.

Eurylochus yelled again, throwing his arms out, and Odysseus flinched.

How long had this been brewing?

How long had he been pushing his crew, his friends to the edge? For how long had he been pushing them to the side, ignoring their concerns and needs, forcing them to pick up his slack?

…when had his efforts to protect them start to hurt instead?

Slowly, Eurylochus’s face came back into focus.

His mouth moved and Odysseus could, technically, hear him still, but the words themselves were lost to the buzzing in his head. The tilt to his eyebrows would have looked angry — really, really angry — to anyone else, but Odysseus knew his friend. Eurylochus was angry, sure, but mostly he was just worried (and tired, so tired, and grieving, too). The man’s eyes glistened wetly, shining with unshed tears.

Odysseus barely noticed as he started to shake.

He did this. This was his fault, the result of his negligence. Polites was dead because of him, and now he was driving away the other person he should be supporting, looking after the most.

Odysseus clenched the rail tighter, clearly hearing it creak under his grip. Eurylochus’s voice faded in and out, nothing but background noise.

He’d failed.

Odysseus blinked once, twice, trying to alleviate the pressure growing behind his eyes. The tears, which had been slowing, built again, suddenly, and everything was just too much.

Oh. He dimly realized again. I did this.

And Odysseus…

…Odysseus broke.

Odysseus broke, tears falling like a waterfall. He choked on a sob, shaking violently, as his knees wobbled and knocked together. Eurylochus’s voice, angry and harsh, snapped back into focus, and Odysseus keened weakly.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, falling to his knees as he swallowed back another sob. “I’m sorry-“

Desperately, shaking all the while, Odysseus clutched at his friend’s chiton, head pressed to Eurylochus’s knee. “I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry-“

Eurylochus’s angry rant trailed off into shocked silence as Odysseus tripped over his words. Apology after apology spilled from his lips as he sat shaking on the wooden deck of the ship, legs collapsed awkwardly beneath him. He didn’t dare look up as silence crashed against the ship like Polyphemus’s club crashing against men and stone, just kept choking out desperate apologies into the empty, oppressive air.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, sobbed, like a mantra. “I’m sorry,”

The moment seemed to stretch for an eternity; a terrifying, heart-stopping eternity.

He couldn’t do this.

Odysseus- he couldn’t. He’d tried, fuck he’d tried. Tried to carry every burden he could, tried to protect his people, and look where they were now.

It was all a mess, a fucking disaster.

And- and Polites was gone, now, really truly gone, never-coming-back gone.

Dead.

And Eurylochus would be too- not dead, not if Odysseus had any say in it, but gone, leaving.

Leaving him, because Eurylochus would do what was best for the crew.

Odysseus was just dead weight.

The leg he leaned against, clutched in desperation, was pulled back, and Odysseus let it go.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered again, trying and failing to blink away his tears as his hands dropped down to dig his nails into his own knees instead. Something thudded against the ground ahead of him, but all Odysseus could think was ‘this is it’.

This is it, this is where his friend, his last surviving best friend, his brother, even, left him.

And by the gods if he didn’t deserve it.

“‘msorry,” his words slurred together. “‘msrry’msorry,”

He deserved this, for hurting his friend and daring to proclaim otherwise. Why should Eurylochus stick around? Odysseus wasn’t worth the work. He hunched in on himself some more.

“‘msorry,” he might have begged. Please don’t go. You have every right to, but please, please. Don’t leave me. “‘msrrymsrrymsor-“

Odysseus coughed.

Oh, that was odd.

He couldn’t breathe, for a moment there, air knocked from his lungs as his chest collided with something warm and solid. Something strong tugged his forwards, pulled him tight against it.

Warm arms wrapped around his shoulders, and Odysseus suddenly found his head tucked into the crook of Eurylochus’s neck as he shook. He tried to choke out another apology, but Eurylochus held him too tightly to properly speak the words.

Oh.

Oh.

Odysseus shook some more, hands slowly worming their way from his knees to clutch this time at the front of his friend’s chiton.

Eurylochus was hugging him.

Eurylochus. was hugging him.

Odysseus sobbed again.

“I’m sorry,” he managed to force out again, but Eurylochus just pulled him impossibly closer.

“It’s okay,” his friend whispered, voice hoarse. “It’s going to be okay.”

mans is a bit harsh on himself :,)

He doesn’t q u i t e get the point, but he’s getting there-

Anyways so flower au; asty lives and also @hahahaghosty and I are soft for lil ajax :P

I know I always say this, but they were a huge inspiration for this (bc they fuel me w like 75% of my writing ideas lmao-), so thank you a whole lot!! wouldn’t be possible without ya :) they're really fucking awesome, go check out their stuff!! do it- Do It Now-

anyways that all from me for now, thanks for reading :P

(me: check out the tags for some context :) also me: throws way to much shit in them-

just. just read the beginning and end and itll all make sense if u wanna)

#uggggghhhhh I copy-pasted this and it got rid of my italics sadge- #anyways I wanted a flower that meant ‘please don’t go’ or smthn but could’nt find one and didn’t feel like digging too much lol #yes I know lil ajax is not actually a teenager. no I do not care #anyways context? #poli nd odys kidnap/adopt asty. poli dies. euryl thinks they should get rid of asty odys disagrees. they’re both Super Stressed- #(nearly starved to death + Polyphemus + grief) #so they fight. odys has been pushing everyone away bc he wants to do everything himself #so he can protect the friends he has left. this only creates more stress for euryl (shocker) #lil ajax just wants to help out :) #so yeah that’s what’s going on- #listen euryl is soft for his friends 🥺 #u can’t change my mind #that doesn’t mean he’s afraid to kick their asses (he will. absolutely). just that w poli the designated Hug Man gone he will step up to #(awkwardly) #offer some good ol comfort :] #… #Me whenever I write literally anything: anyways this is entirely @hahahaghosty’s fault :) #flower au #epic the musical #the odyssey #odysseus #eurylochus #polites #he’s mentioned but also dead sorry- #lil ajax #astyanax #both there for about a sentence lmao #no clue if they actually know polyphemus name but whatever #oh yeah also I’m imagining neither of them have slept for a while aha- #grief/mourning

[skunkg1rll]

when i love someone i WANT to learn abt their past traumas, their insecurities nd pain so that i can learn how to love them right. i want to understand how i should treat, reassure and comfort them. i want to learn their love languages so i can love them the way they need

#but why.... does no one ever want to do that for me? #i always have to bend and reshape so im as little bothersome as possible #and ppl always say stuff like omg u need to communicate nd u need to tell them blah blah blah #ok but what abt when u actually do all of that but no one listens to u???? #i actually do communicate my needs. very clearly #yet... im never heard or listened to #am i just not worth that??? idk.. i dont get it #i just ache to be loved the way i love. bc i know that i love wholly and profoundly #but im gonna run out if i cant receive the love that i need #:(((( #also it just hurts to be so understanding and supportive and want ppl to be comfortable #but then i dont get to take up any space or i dont get to have needs #i should only listen but never ask for anything in return #it just sucks #have i done smth wrong??? or am i just an awful person? delusional? #bc i have NEVER been in a space where im safe to express my feelings #not w my family. not friends. not even my therapists lmao (theyve also criticized nd judged me) #so im starting to think that maybe i actually am wrong #maybe if everywhrre i go im met by this. maybe i just need to suck it up #and be grateful for whatever scraps of love im thrown #bc clearly i am doing smth wrong!!!!!!

[citrus-sours]

did i post these? oh well too bad you can live a little and see them again

#signage posted #ocs #sour sketchs #alexander oc #claude oc #serena oc #patty oc #any critiques id be happy to hear esp w Patty and Serena as im sure their deigns will get a few more makeovers #like N.1 i think i want to change Serenas hair... i might keep the color but add a fade to black into the roots and for style m not sure #ive made enough excuses for keeping the straight hair braid shes had for this long. but ive realized thats kinda. white of me. #im trying 2 correct. anyways im probs going to go down the hair style rabbit hole and see what fits what i think she would do nd like #if anyone is reading my rambling ill take suggestions. its at least a good place to start . #also patty im just still trying to get comfortable drawing her from more angles. i really wanna keep the shadowy eye stuff but sigh #well see the only thing is ik the boys are good enough

[volknersraichu]

I feel like I’m in this constant cycle of trying to recover from autistic burnout but then everyone gets sick of me not contributing to society so I have to force myself to do things which inevitably leads me back to square one

#the only thing that gives me some sort of comfort is that I very much believe volkner is nd and struggles with this a lot #he’s my silly comfort man #I fed my cats and now I need a huge ass nap #rat.txt #I just want to draw but I have no energy #I would cry about it but I don’t think I’m physically able to do so

[b4ll4d33r-06]

KZSCR SHIOPERR SPOTTED WHO BOOKMARKED MY SCARAXIAO FIC. INSERT THAT ONE IMG OF A GUY W A RAID INSECT SPRAY BOTTLE........

#GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT............IM FALLING AAPART IN2 TINY POECES.... #LEAVE ME ALONE.....AKIRA M.......... #in tears throwing up gagging upset frowning pool of salty wet teara down my face #SROP FOLLOWING NE AROUND.....WHAT THE FUCK... #im meber looking bqck at that fic im srry ive been scarred looking at my chscr fics on ao3 nd like #kzdcr mfs flocking to it....leave me alone dawg.....(this is why i orphaned all of my works as small amount as they may be) #an entire groupnof kz scr likers flocked to my fics nd it became a piece of media they absolutely adored nd sum of them tried talkinh 2 me #even tho i clearly had v*nxi kzscr zh*ngxi ka*luc in my dni. #plspls those ships make me the most 7ncomfy (ka*luc soecificallg bit thats obv ND ALL OF TJOSE WERE THEIR CKEAR FAVS #nd fheu even reqd me to make a kzscr nd venxiao fic. rlly rlly invasively. #even tho i told them Hey Im Not Comfortable With That. #had 2 orphan my works nd leave that twt acc nd then i vowed 2 never make a genshintwt acc ever again LMFAOOO #id go 2 my moot for this but theyre currently busy nd even rho theyd want 2 hype me up nd be haters 2gether theyre. #theyre a senior high student....doing.....senior high stuff.... #mae......paws at the window like a lost cat....mae....pls stop being old this is so sad. #(shes like a yr older than me BWAHSJDKEK 😭😭)

[twunkzilla]

Lately like in my own personal masculine ethos ive been shaving my head and doing like rougher shit not caring about my appearance and trying to equip myself to be more dangerous and competent rather than palatable. Even tho people seem to be upset with masculinity. In the sense that like even ppl who are supportive of my transition also have it in their heads that i still need to be feminine and are attached to how pretty i look and how dainty i am and get so mad when i dress like shit and dont have cute lil curly hair. Like you ever notice how nobody ever gets on cis men about "boy room" and not moisturizing or whatever?

#like it makes you think abt when people talk so much abt trans men not needing to be masculine #like why are you more comfortable with a tboy cross dressing than you are with sports #like there was this trans wrestler who challenged a transphobic cis male to a match #nd it was like his fans and other trans ppl saying dont do it youll get your ass handed to you #like lmao #fucking laughable man #youd rather see him be a makeup influencer or some shit? #i feel like people celebrate trans masculinity still as a subpar version of cis masculinity like people just arent comfortable #they still want to infantilize and have men self contain. which is sad. i want yall to be empowered and in control of your space.

[vulpinesaint]

throws a book at the wall i'm SO fucking tired of putting emotional effort into relationships only for it not to be reciprocated

#trying so fucking hard not to resent someone i really like rn. #they're going through a hard time and obvi i'm glad they feel comfortable coming to me for support. #but also... :( to have that be the only thing we really talk ab anymore... #miss them i guess. wanna talk like we used to. #nd to send support and an expression of how i rlly empathize bc i'm going through smth similar and get no response... #idk. sadbad. working on not letting those feelings fester #i just cannot be therapistfriend. i am Not therapist friend in most situations!!! #the problem is that i am a very good listener but not super approachable in that way to most people? #so i end up with one or two people with really big constant problems every year or so who put All of that onto me. #and i try SO fucking hard in my relationships with people i care about. #and that's SO much energy and emotional investment into their problems and it just isn't sustainable. #especially when i'm not getting it in return. #idk i probably just need to tell them what i'm feeling about. open and honest communication ftw #i'm sure they'll get it if i say 'i've had a lot of relationships in the past that devolved into me being the vessel for people's issues... #...and it's turned into me resenting them over time and i really don't want that to happen with us.' #'just need you to talk w/ me about other things sometimes' y'know? #i'm already drawing a lot of boundaries so that i don't throw myself into comforting and placating and facilitating someone's feelings #which DOES make me a good listener. but i can't be sacrificing myself for that. not rn anyway. #god but also i just want to have a fucking conversation sometimes is that too much to ask #i get that ur having a hard time emotionally but you could at least respond to the easy upbeat messages that i send you #specifically TO facilitate easy upbeat conversation that doesn't require emotional effort from you #or like. initiate conversation Ever when it's not around the negative situation u want to talk to me about. you know. #it's okay. i'll talk to them. just feeling frustrated. #i'm going to get bled fucking dry if i keep putting so much of myself into relationships without receiving anything in return #valentine notes

[yay-depression]

the repressed neurodivergent experience of thinking “no one will ever love me with all of my neurodivergency the way i love them with their neurotypical-ness.”

#me my whole life: got made fun of for exhibiting ND traits among other stuff #me in middle school: well if i simply pretend i am neurotypical people will stop disliking me for being ND #spoiler alert: i was not very good at faking neurotypical-ness #me now: very very good at faking being neurotypical to the point that i am perceived as having very few distinguishable traits #my family my entire life: you are weird (aka neurodivergent) stop being weird #my family my entire life: if i simply do the thing that my child hates maybe they will grow out of hating it #another spoiler alert: no the FUCK i did not #tldr my entire life i’ve essentially suppressed most of myself to make the people i love comfortable bc that’s what they wanted from me #and in response they routinely ignore some of my most important boundaries and still try to act like they’re helping me #my therapist keeps telling me that one day i’ll get a family even if it’s found family #because sometimes found family is the best kind of family #but no one i’ve met is willing to actually put up with who i am as a person and not abandon me #every non-familial person in my life anytime i’ve shared deeply personal things with them: nope no thank you goodbye #and the deeply personal things were always just like ‘i’m actually pretty insecure in friendships and i feel deeply lonely’ #it wasn’t even traumadumping bc they always seemed fine with that!! bonding over shared trauma was like a group activity #and then anytime i was like ‘hey could i maybe get some validate that y’all don’t hate me?’ everyone would be like #no. why would you need that we never said we hated you stop being over dramatic #my dad pulled that last one all the time!! except he added the ‘how could you even think i hate you when i’ve been nothing but good to you!’ #come to think of it my friends did a lot of that too actually #anyways i have a core belief that i’m actually just unloveable and people just tolerate me and it’s been confirmed repeatedly

[silenthillbunni]

🍽️😔🎻

#soo blah blah need to vent again abt my health issue situation 💀 #yuh so like im so sick nd tired of whats going on. nd not being able to just eat whatever i feel like whenever #it's emotionall draining tbh. im always thinking abt what i could maybe try nd im always like ohh gotta make sure the portion is small etc #it's annoying me sm bc i can def feel the effects of me not getting the right nd enough nutrients nd vitamins etc etc #i get dizzy nd my vision is hazy sometimes. nd im like forgetful bc the other the when i walked home i kept getting lost nd had to walk back #nd forth several times nd i was like ?!?!? what?! i've lived here for 25yrs nd now i just cannot for the life of me rmbr the way #also i am so weak in my body. like carrying even a small amound or books nd groceries nd walking for 30min makes me exhausted #my legs are actually shaking when i get back home nd every step feels like im walking in cement #plus i just wanna be able to go to the gym nd build muscle. but if i dont get enough protein in me i cant build muscles T-T #what else... yeah also i do miss food bc of comfort. like my coffee + chcolate everyday makes me genuinely happy lmao #but i just want the food situation to be normal bc even w veggies im like oh no that is too gas building that is too hard to digest etc etc #it's mentally gruelling to not know how tf to get all the important nutrients!! i def have several deficiences lmao :(( #im so over it. but theres nothing i can do. i wish i could just not think abt it 24/7 tho #also. im the thinnest i've ever been BUT. i am constantly bloated so i look fkn pregnant. so i cant even enjoy looking the skinnier

[artekai]

Guess what movie I watched

#i feel bad for saying this because it's so easy. it's too easy. what would i even add. the movie is there. it says everything. you can watch #but i'll say it anyways since we're here. #new headcanon that m//3gan was fross's comfort movie after his parents died and he watched it 80000 times back to back and learned nothing #nd that's why he's like this now #i don't care that this movie came out like 30 years before fross was born. idc idc. it's so easy. it's too easy #i just know he watched this movie so much it started blurring the lines between fantasy and reality and then he went up to lis and he went #well where's my killer robot? 🤨 #and she was like. well we don't do that here. we only make green robots #and he was like #oh.... that's fine... no it's ok. i guess i will go become a roboticist. and get a job at FAS. so i can make a killer robot myself #since you clearly don't want me to be happy 💔🥺😩 *ant_with_bindle.png* #anyways yea i made this post just so i could share the TRUE and REAL SECRET story behind fross's decision to side with FAS 👌 #also. remember how i mentioned fross would watch a//tla but skip z//uko's redemption arc bc self-recognition through the other (derogatory) #well. same applies here. he skips that one scene where g/emma says that m//3gan is just a distraction and those feelings won't go away etc #he's like GTFO WITH THAT MORALISTIC CRAP!!!!!!!! 🔥🔥🔥🔥 SHOW ME THE YANDERE ROBOTS 🔥🔥🔥🔥 #anyways i think you can tell i liked the movie. it had a bunch of the things i like 👍 #oc: fross #oc tag #ramble

[little-cereal-draws]

so um is it normal to not want to do research on ocd bc i'm scared i'll start doing compulsions?

I was told yesterday by a physiatrist that i've got the anxiety/intrusive thoughts and compulsions of ocd but not the obsessive thoughts. But i've also got autism and there's a significant overlap between ocd compulsions and autistic rituals. When i was talking to her i could think of several rituals that are very similar to compulsions and make me feel Wrong(tm) if i don't do them but they're not fueled by anxiety. However, after i left, i thought of several rituals i do that are fueled by anxiety (ex: tapping the outside of a plane so it won't crash, repeatedly checking empty rooms to see if there's someone hiding in there, etc)

I've done research into ocd on and off for a few years now as it crosses my mind as smth i might have, and a few months ago i was reading an article. It was listing different anxieties ppl w ocd might have. It listed one that I have too and that compulsion people do to get rid of it and i thought, "huh, that's really smart, I should do that." i don't remember what it was now but it freaked me out and i closed my phone so fast. I was, and still am, worried that the more research i do into it, the more i'll train myself(??) to do compulsions. And logically i know that's not possible, and if anything, it'll be a result of me unmasking more as i learn but i'm scared.

this isn't normal right?

#I’m incredibly good at masking to the point where I won’t notice I have a nd trait until I start to unmask #which is probably what’s happening #but I don’t want to give myself more mental health problems than I have to lol #it was the same w autism tho. at first I was like ‘I don’t do that’ but as I did more research I felt comfortable unmasking #and suprise suprise I have autism but was suppressing it so hard lol #mental health #autism #ocd

[lunasilvis]

If I don't move to an effervesce city (or the outskirts of one) next time I move out of the village, feed me to the wolves

#the quiet is good 'nd all... but the impact of having grown up in a city doesn't just leave into your young adult years - #I never felt comfortable blending into the village. Not just mindset-wise but also physically I derogate from ppl here (tattoos + clothing) #also... I want a young 30s - as I had an old 20s lmao. gotta do that surrounded by (more) people :) #personal #Resolutions for 2024 that I'll realize

[buck1eys]

i have spun it a thousand times in my head like a goddamn rubix cube but i cant make it good so i just gotta say that robin being super cool in s3 as a potential steve love interest and then a loser dork klutz who is always down on herself for laughs in s4 sucks... it just sucks so bad guys

#IT SUCKS #idgaf you can talk about robin unmasking around ppl she feels comfortable with all u want and i love neurodivergent robin #but let robin be nd AND desirable #nd AND cool and smart and funny #like even if she doesn't see those traits in herself we as the audience should get to see them #regardless as to whether she is sexually available to steve #not even gonna bother tagging this bc all my posts get 0 notes anyway but #I HATE IT IT SUCKS SO BAD #*mp