#my partner thinks I'm doing a good job and his opinion is more important than yours anyway

[calisources]

𝐀𝐑𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐃 𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐑𝐈𝐀𝐆𝐄 𝐒𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄 𝐐𝐔𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐒.

All sentences were taken from different sources about romance, marriage and specially arranged marriage and what that entails. Mentions of affairs, mistresses, wedding ceremonies and medieval talks of what marriage entails follow. Change names, pronouns and locations however you see fit.

Marriage is a marriage, whether it is arranged or not. Both necessitate the same level of dedication.

It’s not an option to be best friends with your life partner; it’s a requirement for a firm foundation in a long-term relationship.

Arranged marriage is not always a bed of roses, but it is possible to achieve with love and faith.

It’s different for women, isn’t it? They have no choice where they go. They grow up in a prison and then get married into one.

Is there anything more courageous/stupid than saying yes to spend your life with someone you have no idea about?

The country was as much of a mystery to me as the man I had married.

One day you’ll be in love with me.

You could be a titled lady. 

I have avoided the fate my father had planned for me. Surely it is I who has won, not he.

I do not care about power and wealth, father. I want to marry for love.

But if you were matched, what do you think she'd be like?

We're supposed to be unable to keep our hands off of each other. 

In this case the time is not so important for me, the person asking for commitment is.

We are trapped by convention and must marry another.

Every good child knows: duty before your heart's desire.

I am to be a bride, but whose? 

I married you to stop the bloodshed, and you keep killing. When will it be enough- when?

I found out soon after we met that Leah’s father had promised her in marriage to some young Pole.

If I ever get into an arranged marriage, I want it to be like theirs.

Arranged marriages require effort; constantly and every day. And where there is love, you want to make these efforts.

A successful arranged marriage can help climb the biggest mountain and build the biggest empire.

An arranged marriage is like wine; it tastes good with time.

You will marry him and do your duty to your House.

You are my daughter and you will do as I say. End of discussion.

Love? What does love have to do with marriage?

He'll honour his duty to family and swallow it.

I was three when my parents promised me. When a deal was struck. 

 So I was raised to be his wife. I was taught my favorite color was gold because his favorite color was gold. I was told my favorite foods were his favorite foods

I never thought what it would actually be like to have him... be gone. 

I was raised for him, and now I am... new. I am brand-new. And I do not even know how to breathe air he does not exhale.

A bride at her second marriage does not wear a veil. She wants to see what she is getting.

Marriage is a financial contract; I have enough contracts already.

The dowry, not the wife, is the object of attraction.

Arranged marriages work like this. The girl is hardly asked and is expected to follow whatever her parents deem fit.

Marry, that marry is the very theme I came to talk of.

Maybe she'll be beautiful. Maybe she'll be rich. As long as she brings swords and men.

Perhaps love is a minor madness.

It doesn't matter who the seed is. The important thing is that it has a place in your womb.

Her maidenhood will seal an alliance and must be kept safe.

Every married woman knows a man can have mistresses and we must look the other way.

All I ask is, that you do not cast me aside. Have mistresses and lovers as you please, but confide in me as I am to be your wife.

A husband’s first and foremost job in a marriage is to protect and love his wife.

Touching without looking had been incredibly arousing.

In my opinion, most marriages are based either on money or the fear of being alone.

I want you in every way there is to want. I want you in any way you choose to share.

I'm free to do with my wife as I fucking please.

The marriage of convenience lasts until you become an inconvenience.

Ours is a marriage of convenience and nothing more.

From now on, you're sleeping in our room. There's no chance in hell I'm letting you sleep far away from me again.

You agreed to this marriage and didn’t even dare to ask my opinion on the matter.

You're going to bend, and so am I. We're going to compromise, negotiate, and distract each other.

Being together means our priorities are going to change.

Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious: both are disappointed.

I don't think I am likely to marry, Harry. I am much too in love.

It is certainly romantic to be in love, but there's nothing romantic about a definite proposal.

They are royals, whoever they marry is not their choice but who is better for the crown.

That is a match made in a boardroom.

Once you are wed to another, you will forget me. 

I will marry a man who desires me but I have no interest in. 

I will not be a secret kept in shadows. Once you are wed, I will leave.

How can I marry them, when I am in love with another? It is not fair to them, that I think of you when I’m with them.

Ever since I met you, no one else has been worth thinking about.

Behave yourself, out here, we are wed and what you do, reflects on me.

You are being sold like a mare and do not care.

Once I bore him a son, he shall be happy, I know it.

We hate one another but for peace, we must wed. At least, let us enjoy this part of the contract.

I am doing this for my family and for the terms you offer.

A marriage is simply an alliance.

All will be well, love can be found in a marriage. If not love, at least, good company. 

Do your duty and give him sons.  That’s all men want.

I will not be paraded around in a bedding ceremony. I will wed them and bed them, but I will not be humiliated. 

You think this title gives me power, but you forget, I am a woman.

I am lucky enough to have options. None who please me but at least, I can choose one.

Come to bed now, husband. It is our wedding night, after all.

#roleplay memes #sentence meme #( cali meme. ) #rp memes #rp prompt #rp musings #roleplay prompt #arranged marriage

[these-emo-thoughts]

Last Twilight Episode 11 thoughts

A lot of people are hating on Day right now but I get him. I do. And if you haven't watched episode 11 yet, maybe skip this post as it revolves around a major part of the plot. If you've watched the ep, you probably know what I'm talking about. More detail is under the cut.

Warning, this is a long one, lol. Apologies for any mistakes, I'm a bit sick and didn't read over it 🤣

If you've seen it already, I'm going to explain why I think Mhok and Day's break-up had to happen and why it is the best thing for them right now.

Mhok's fear of losing another person because he isn't there to help or pick up the phone is absolutely valid (and so real and relatable that I feel personally attacked). He doesn't stay with Day out of pity, which has been established multiple times throughout the series - but the trauma of what he went through with Rung and the fear of possibly repeating that again with Day has made his anxiety cloud his judgement and his heart. It's not a healthy way to live - constantly worrying about your partner, to the extent where you cannot live for yourself, is not sustainable for a relationship (I also find this quite ironic because up until this point Mhok has been on his own for a long time now). We saw the manifestation of this fear in episode 11 multiple times too, with Mhok leaving in the middle of the shift to check that the guest that was hit by a car wasn't Day, and then when he was freaking out when Day wasn't answering his phone. Imagine going through all of that, but this time, your partner is 15 hours away by plane.

Day choosing to break up with him is, in my opinion, more complex than just "he lied to me and pitied me". That's part of it (and will come back at the end of this post), yes, and he does have the right to be upset that Mhok lied to him. Again, it's not healthy for the both of them if they are going to continue a relationship. I also want to point out that Day is at a disadvantage here because while he is capable of living his life independently as a blind man, he can't actually see the emotions on people's faces when he talks to them and that's can be important for picking up what others are putting down. Day can't see the changes in Mhok's expression when his smile fades, he has to rely on the other to talk to him when something is up, so lying is a BIG no-no here (as it would be for any relationship). So far, they've done a great job at communicating, so this is presented as new issue - but, it's a big one. So yes, the lying is part of it, but it's not ALL of it.

"But what IS all of it!?" I hear you scream into the Tumblr void. Well, by now, OF COURSE Day knows that Mhok truly loves him and KNOWS that the other doesn't pity him - he's said so many times. So, Day must realise at this point - of which the timeline is probably at a year of them knowing each other, give or take - that Mhok is deliberately holding himself back from good opportunities because of that love. It must hurt like hell, knowing that you're the reason your partner is self-sabotaging, but there's nothing you can do to change their mind because everything is out of your control. It's so much easier for Day to say "Mhok pities me and lied to me and that's why I want to break up" instead of "I'm the reason Mhok won't go".

It's heartbreaking, but what's the solution here? Long distance? Sure, maybe - but that's not going to stop Mhok from worrying about Day and being distracted from his job. It's not going to stop Day from feeling like he's a burden to Mhok. Not only that, with timezones and such a huge distance, there are even more complications to worry about. Plus, let's say something DID happen to Day while Mhok was in Hawaii - it goes back to exactly the problem that Mhok had which is what can he do about it? Long distance is a solution, but how long will they last living like that?

"Okay emo, so why doesn't Day just go to Hawaii with Mhok? Then they can be together and Mhok can fulfil his promise to take him there and they don't have to break up and they'll live happily ever after." I see you!! But... that's a BIG decision. Mhok and Day's trip to Songkhla may have been a test to see how they weather the storm of living together as boyfriends, but it was only for a few days. And Day - for most of it - was alone in the room while Mhok was working. That's not a way for Day to live, and it still won't stop Mhok from being worried, probably even MORESO now because they're in a whole other country.

So... what's left?

Day's decision to break up with Mhok is heartbreaking, but is probably the only solution that makes sense to me. Mhok CANNOT live a life like this. He can't. It's already debilitating him and it'll get even worse if he's constantly prioritising Day over himself in every aspect of life. Of course a person should think about their partner, but not to the point where it becomes unhealthy self-sabotage. Day also cannot live happily like this. He's come to terms living with a disability and already is aware of how different his daily life is to that of a sighted person - but the little voice in the back of his mind, the one reminding him that he's the reason Mhok is not living his life to the fullest, is making the entire process more difficult for him (and the lying really doesn't help).

So... yeah. A necessary evil that unfortunately to many will be written off simply as the "episode 11 curse". An evil that has people already saying that Day is stupid and immature, when I really believe this is the most rational he's been. I know even the actors have said it's about the lying but this is P'Aof we're talking about here - he's a brilliant story-teller, and there's always more to his art than what we see on the surface. It's happened in other shows he's directed, which is why they rate so highly. Last Twilight is no exception, and the complexity of the love story between Mhok and Day is nothing short of a masterpiece. That's how I see it, anyway.

Would love to hear other thoughts and perspectives!

#last twilight #last twilight the series #last twilight episode 11 #character study #mhokday #jimmysea #backaof noppharnach

[letmetellyouaboutmyfeels]

I noticed that your older fics tend to lean towards dom eddie/ sub buck while the more recent ones are switch buddie (which I love) so I was wondering if something in the show made you see/interpretate the characters differently or if your own writing preferences changed or if I'm reading way too much into everything

You're not reading too much into it and I'm honestly pleased and flattered that you paid enough attention to my writing to notice!

Yes, as the show has gone on, and we've learned more about the characters, I've come to the conclusion that Buddie would be more switches. I think it's natural that as you learn more about the characters that you shift how you write them - in my earliest fics for example I had the headcanon that Eddie would have had some (young inexperienced and fumbling) experiences with men, and that he'd be more into casual sex. Now I headcanon based on his behavior that he's more demisexual and wouldn't have really any sexual experience besides Shannon because of that need for emotional connection. I originally thought Buck would realize his feelings first, but given how season five went and then Eddie's reactions to Buck in season six I'm now of the opinion that Eddie realized his feelings a while ago and has been ignoring them while Buck, bless him, is fucking oblivious.

Anyway those are just two examples of how as a show goes on and you learn more about a character you shift your headcanons and perceptions about them. So yes! I've shifted in my views of how the boys would be in bed.

I do think that Buck would overall be more submissive and when he's domming, do so more as a service dom - Buck likes to know he's doing a good job and being there for the people he loves, and so domming for him would be about knowing he's giving Eddie what he needs, rather than enjoying being in control.

For Eddie, someone who has constantly in his life scrambled for control and had it yanked from him, I think he'd still overall prefer to be in charge, at least at first, and I think that'd only be submissive to someone he really deeply trusts. However given everything in season five I think he'd also find being submissive to be incredibly freeing if it's with someone he can trust to love him and hold him (metaphorically), and Buck is that person. Eddie is very much a caretaker and likes to feel he's trusted (lack of trust in his abilities is a huge issue in his relationship with his parents for example) so I think he'd really like domming Buck and seeing how much Buck trusts him to take care of him. It was really season five for me that gave me the shift in feeling Eddie would be submissive at times, given his whole arc with his trauma. I think given how important it was in his arc for Eddie to admit he loses control sometimes and needs help, submitting would be important for him as well. He'd just be pickier about it.

In other words - I think Buck's instinct in bed is submit, but he ultimately shifts to reflect what his partner wants/needs (and headcanon it's probably led to him being sexually unfulfilled before - how many times has someone wanted him to just pick them up and rail them and play that Big Strong Guy when that's not who Buck is?) and would also find fulfillment in giving Eddie what he needs because he likes doing that for his loved ones. And I think Eddie's instinct is to dom, for multiple reasons, but that submitting to someone he loves and trusts would also by very fulfilling and enjoyable.

Ergo, they switch! LOL

I think also in most sexual relationships when you're not explicitly sceneing (i.e. planning a scenario out with set roles) there's a certain fluidity to the roles of who's submitting and who's dominating. So there's that as well, it's not always gonna be clear cut who's in what role and it's going to move back and forth. Y'know?

Anyway that was an extremely long-winded answer ha ha but I'm delighted you noticed that shift! One's art is continuously evolving and when one is writing for the same characters over the years (four and counting for Buddie in my case) while continuously getting more information about them and seeing them in new situations and so on as we get with each new season/episode, there's definite shifts in one's portrayal of those characters. I'm flattered that anyone would pay attention enough to pick up on the ways in which mine's evolved.

#mads answers things #mads writes stuff

[ineffablecolors]

hey just wondering why you think Roy reuniting w Keeley post s3 would’ve been bad for him? I sort of agree but also don’t want to bash keeley in anyway so I haven’t talked about it

Heya! Thanks for the ask and sorry you feel like you can't discuss something though I do understand why. I'll preface this by repeating something I've said before - canon did such a horrible job of holding Keeley accountable for anything and wrote her as if she could do no wrong and fandom seems to have picked that up and totally ran with it.

I do love that when reading RoyJamie fanfic, I never see Keeley bashing, as you call it, because vilifying female chatacters is such common practice in fandoms. But Ted Lasso fandom seems to swing to the other extreme where I've never even read a fic where Keeley apologises for something? And you can't even quite blame the fans, they just picked what canon put down - Keeley can do no wrong.

So, first of all, I think simply judging Keeley's actions is not bashing at all, it's just treating her the way every character BUT her is treated in both fandom and show. I think Keeley, like almost every other character, has made plenty of bad decisions and mistakes and, personally, how I react to them is a mix of how well I can relate to her and something else. Jack, for example, was a very professionally questionable decision but I completely sympathise with Keeley for it because 1) she faced consequences for her mistake even if it's never acknowledged that she made one and 2) I can relate to it! Hiring Shandy on the other hand was such a monumentally stupid decision that I could never relate to, so it just makes me annoyed with Keeley and the fact that the show treated it as her just being too sweet and wanting to give another horribly unqualified woman a chance rather than as a point towards her lack of professional skills.

Anyway!! The something else is important for my answer. As much as I love discussing my favourite shows and try to be objective, I very rarely am. Once I pick a favourite character, my opinion of almost every other character is informed by how they treat my favouriteTM. Is that fair? No. Do I do it without fail? Yes. Do I feel bad for it? Umm, no, that's my baby, nobody is allowed to be mean to them xD

And this is how we get to the Roy Kent of it all (finally! christ, this is gonna be long, sorry but also thanks!). Roy's my favourite, my baby, my grumpy, old, emotionally constipated and physically aching romantic. Roy can and has done wrong, I'd never claim otherwise. But I'd still claim he's the best chatacter and one of the best people on the show. And he's always gonna put himself last on his list of priorities.

Which is why I fully admit that I judge Keeley extra harshly when it comes to her and Roy. For brief context - I totally shipped Roy and Keeley and think they were good for each other, for the most part, in s1, I was ecstatic they were together in s2 and still shipped them like hell on my first watch (which was binged with s1!) and less and less on every consequent rewatch, part of me still wanted them to be together and then to get back together in s3 until I actually watched it all and completely changed my mind.

Shall I finally answer your question? I don't think Roy should reunite with Keeley because he gives too much of himself and she gives too little. I don't believe they are well balanced and I dont believe he'd feel loved with her again.

That WAS brief! But if you'd like more detail...

I think as sweet and good-hearted as she's portraited, Keeley is inherently a selfish person. Now, we circle back to bashing and judging. I'm doing neither. I'm myself a selfish person in many ways, that's not the worst thing to be in some regards. But I think Keeley is especially selfish in her romantic relationships and that simply does not suit someone like Roy. When paired with a selfish partner, Roy would just give and give and blame himself for not getting as much back.

I'm not saying there haven't been some great moments between Roy and Keeley, full of affection and care from Keeley, such as the scene at the end of s1. That's probably my favourite moment of theirs. But there have been some pretty shit ones too that for me outweigh the good and, more importantly, came once they settle into the relationship.

As early as their first kiss, Keeley got so annoyed and impatient, she immediately slept with Jamie. I know the show took it as an opportunity to have a kinda feminist moment but can you picture that turned around? Roy and Keeley kiss after tons of flirting and build up, and the day after Roy sleeps with a girl Keeley has a proper (however childish) feud with just cuz she told him she was busy that night. That would've never been fine. Again, I'm not saying it's wrong, I'm saying it's the response of a person who only cares about what they want and doesn't plan for the future.

Then, we have the infamous "Roy is a fridge magnet" episode which I still can't wrap my mind around so gimme a sec here. Your boyfriend is too into you, is perfect (by Keeley's own words) but not giving you the space you haven't asked for. So, instead of talking to him - don't even get me started on people writing Keeley as a character who's good as communicating - girl, where?? - you talk about it to his boss, a bunch of his coworkers and your ex who has an antagonistic relationship with him, and eventually as you're spending time together and he's trying to share one of his interests with you, you start screaming bloody murder at him about how clingy he is. Do I have that all correct? All of this would have been forgivable ofc, miscommunication happens, people aren't perfect, etc, etc, expect... forgiveness was asked by the wrong person. What on earth did Roy have to apologise for? This is the #1 example for me of that show trying so hard to make Keeley a perfect sunshine girl boss that they made 0 narrative or even logical sense. Honestly I hate that whole episode with a fiery passion.

Then we have the funeral shenanigans, which I won't even get into because I think Roy was 100% hilarious in that and Keeley was 100% overreacting (and yes, that's a heavy term to use towards a woman but here's the thing... she was). I guess this would be a good place to talk about their ILYs as well. Roy's ILYs always come with an acknowledgement of Keeley's feelings and his own fault for hurting them in anyway. Keeley's first ILY though has absolutely nothing to do with Roy. She's happy about her own success and he's celebrating her. That's it. That's the first time we see her say I love you. Don't get me wrong, I don't think Roy's aren't better but I think that just proves why he couldn't be happy with Keeley. Every time he's said ILY, it's been tinged with sadness and guilt and self-incrimination. Why would I want him to be with someone who constantly inspires those feelings in him?

This is now definitely too long so I'll try to wrap up with s3 very quickly and mainly the fact that the episode Keeley is drinking alone in the pub is one of the only ones where Keeley faces consequence for her actions (in this case, sleeping with her boss - again, not something I blame or begrudge her for but also something she should've probably considered can get her funding pulled when it ends, see: never thinking about the future (and why I don't see Keeley being successful without people like Barbara or Rebecca but thats a different topic)). Keeley responds to being made to face the music by using Roy to make herself feel better. I'm sorry but there's no other interpretation of their hook up for me. He's just read her a very heartfelt apology, ending with another guilt ridden ILY and then he was leaving. Except she chased him down, not to say it back ofc, but to use him for sex.

Thanks, I hate it.

At the end of the day, it all comes down to the fact that I think Roy was right to break up with Keeley. Not because she's not a great catch and not because there was anything wrong with her being successful or needing time for herself but because they're not right for each other. Roy is too selfless and ready to blame himself for everything and Keeley is too focused on herself and ready to take advantage of that.

Roy is the kind of romantic that would tell his cabbie to date his wife and compose a playlist for the girlfriend who treated him horribly yesterday. He's the kind of guy that's had to bottle up all his emotions forever and never talks about himself with people and has had his fucking watch stolen by his fucking hook ups. He deserves someone *cough*Jamie*cough* who is absolutely obsessed with him! Who will appreciate the things he does for them and the time he spends with them rather than take them for granted at best and be annoyed at worst. Who will make him feel like he's been struck by lightning! He deserve someone who cares about his feeling and frankly, in season 3 at least, I don't think that's Keeley or should be again.

#roy kent #ted lasso #anti-roykeeley #and i guess #anti keeley jones #just to be safe though it isnt really #gods and this is not even half of my issues with them

[splashtailstar]

Aromantic Reigen Masterpost

Vi am making a masterpost on why Reigen Arataka is aspec (more specifically, aro)

(also a little bit of aspec Serizawa propaganda)

Under cut because it gets long

Reigen shows no interest in intimate relationships with others and actually mocks romantic couples. His mother sends him an email telling him to get an actual job and compares him to someone who just got married. Reigen is unimpressed by this. He is considered very attractive by his lady clients but never shows any interest in others at all.

He has this conversation with Dimple which is very aspec in vy opinion

[ID: A manga panel from Mob Psycho 100. Reigen tells Dimple, “Lust? But what of love, Dimple? Not that I want to have this conversation with you.” Dimple replies, “That ought to be my line, you son of a bitch.” End ID]

This next entire scene takes place when Mob asks Reigen for advice on asking a girl out and the entire scene is very aromantic. Reigen at first deflects to Serizawa and tries to get him to answer Mob's question.

[ID: A manga panel. Reigen asks Serizawa, "But there must've been some girl you liked, right?". Serizawa replies, "Nope, none." End ID]

Serizawa then tells Mob this:

[ID: A manga panel. Serizawa says, "Having someone that you like... I'm jealous. Shigeo-kun, if you feel the same no matter what anyone tells you," End ID]

What an aromantic mood

Reigen then starts to answer Mob's question.

[ID: A manga panel. Reigen looks at his flipphone while speaking to Mob. He tells Mob, "Cleanliness, look around the store, no alcohol, listen well, build the mood, smiles are important, make her heart pound, a heavy atmosphere is no good, premise of marriage, invite her to a meal, sincerity". Serizawa notices the flipphone and thinks, "Ah... He's cheating! Reigen-san doesn't know either?!!".

Mob sweats nervously at Reigen's advice. Reigen tells him, "But in the end...," he snaps his phone shut, "You don't need a strategy. If you want to form a deep connection with someone, it's no use pretending to be someone you're not." End ID]

googling romantic advice... not very allo is it

"Reigen-san's cheating!" also not a very allo response

premise of marriage (chill, mob's in middle school)

after Mob leaves the office, Reigen talks some more

[ID: A manga panel. Reigen says, "If this was about me, I probably would turn it into some cheap contest. Or rather, in my case, if I exposed my true self, I would get soundly rejected..." Serizawa notices this and nervously sweats, thinking to himself, "So Reigen-san is also pessimistic in that respect... He seems so popular with the lady clients, though..." End ID]

[ID: A manga panel. Reigen says, "Tsubomi-chan and Mob... They can exist without distorting each other... I hope I can become a partner like that..." Serizawa notices this and is surprised. End ID]

Very aromantic vibes here

The last image here is from an interview in a fanbook where Reigen is asked about his previous romantic relationships and his views on marriage.

[ID: An interview answer by Reigen from the official Mob Psycho 100 fanbook. Text over an aromantic flag reads: "In love? Me? Why are you looking at me while smiling? Do you think I'm lying to you? Oh, my. Well, I can't just talk about it casually as it would infringe on the privacy of the other party, you know. I've had a few passionate love affairs in my time. Remember that time when I held a woman on the bow of a certain huge ship? Huh? There's a similar scene in a movie? Did I remember it wrong...? Okay, let's move on.. Getting married is one of the many possible lifestyle options available to you. Follow your own heart." End ID]

How do you get more aro than this?

In conclusion, vi love aromantic Reigen for many reasons. Vi like that he is never presented with a love interest, that the show never acts like he needs one in order to function. Vi enjoy how he is an adult without romantic relationships who is not judged for or seen as incomplete without them.

He is a popular character and considered attractive (within universe and out of universe) but he is still seen as a complete person even without an intimate partnership. Vi wish we had more characters who were simply just allowed to be romanceless.

#reigen arataka #serizawa katsuya #mp100 #mob psycho 100 #aro mp100 #arataka reigen #katsuya serizawa #aromantic #aro #aspec #described #aro reigen #aromantic reigen #harbor's posts

[poorlittleyaoyao]

I don't know if you know, but the irony of wnxg is that they don't share with each others past experiences. It's not extremely important, but sharing is part of a relationship?? It's lxc who says to wwx about how lwj suffered for their mother's death; it's always lxc who reveals to wwx how lwj got 33 strikes. Instead, not having others, lwj doesn't know nothing about wwx past, only few rumors. It's me, I am boring, but sharing things with your partner, is important?? How are they gonna comunicate with lxc in seclusion?

Obv that's my opinion and mxtx did do a great job! I am still there, two years after, screaming about jl, jc, wq and jgy! She had a lot of plot, so maybe she couldn’t explore the romance properly!

This is a good point that I hadn't considered! It made me reflect on how much characters reveal in general about their own stories outside of undergoing Empathy, and the answer is... not many! JGY notably reveals his own experiences under duress at Guanyin Temple, but he still doesn't talk about his life prior to being kicked down the stairs in any detail; the flashback showing his and MS's abuse in the brothel comes via WWX doing Empathy with Anxin's ghost. Other than that, all the major revelations one character are told by someone else. Off the top of my head, we have WN (and not WWX) revealing the core transfer, LXC (and not MY) revealing that MY was a double agent, and Bicao (and not Madame Qin, QS, or JGY) revealing that JGY and QS were half-siblings. And even the subjects of Empathy aren't telling their stories so much as letting WWX come along for a ride in their memories.

So on the one hand, this is an established trend in the novel. On the other hand, given the sheer amount of TIME we spend on Wangxian Romance Content, it's quite strange that our two leads tell each other so little about themselves! I would find Wangxian much more interesting if they replaced even just some of the repetitive "one character initiates physical intimacy when the other character won't remember it later" scenes with actual conversations about their experiences and who they are as people. It hits LWJ especially hard, I think, because at least we as an audience know what's going on with WWX since he's our viewpoint character. For LWJ, we're dependent on what WWX knows or observes, which is deliberately lacking.

I disagree that MXTX simply didn't have time/space to fit that in alongside everything else, because CQL manages to do silly hijinks and personal revelations in THE SAME SCENE. Episode 6 opens with LWJ catching the One Braincell Trio drinking together. WWX makes LWJ drink wine, and we get a mini version of goofy Drunji shenanigans... but WWX also learns about the Lan forehead ribbons (which will be relevant later in the same episode), and LWJ and WWX learn that both have lost their parents. LWJ doesn't elaborate beyond "I don't have a mother," but his sad, faraway little face makes plain how keenly he feels about it. WWX notices, and he confesses to LWJ that he can barely remember his parents beyond the fragmented memory of riding a donkey. (He also tells him about the dogs!)

It's a lovely little moment, and it's what first had me going "aww🥺" about the two of them. (Still does, honestly! I know I'm salty on here a lot, but I genuinely do love Drama Wangxian when I'm actively watching the show and am away from fandom; I only wish they'd been able to be expressly romantic with it.) I was definitely entertained by them speedrunning fanfic tropes in the Cloud Recesses episodes, but I would have tired of them if that was all their interactions were. That tiny bit of genuine bonding is what made me interested in learning more about them both and invested in seeing how their relationship developed.

And the entire sequence is just 5 minutes out of one 45-minute episode! It doesn't take much, and the written equivalent was something I sorely missed in the two volumes of the novel I read.

[dragongutsixofficial]

Thoughts on one Monica von Ochs? Especially in regards to how Edelgard interacts with and feels about her.

I can't consider myself a big Monica fan. I find her character incredibly flat and "simp" will never be my choice for a character with one personality trait. Hubert doesn't bother me because keeping tabs on Edelgard is part of his job description and his interactions with the rest of the cast are more varied. If Hubert didn't have Edelgard I'm sure he'd be finding some other cause to champion and would pursue it with just as much dedication and fervor, but if Monica didn't have Edelgard I honest to Sothis have no idea what she'd be doing.

As far as Edelgard herself goes, I think she'd be fine, if a little weirded out, up until the moment she finds out Monica has been watching her so closely. Edelgard has always struck me as a very private person, and I think such close scrutiny would make her wildly uncomfortable. I want to see her explode at Monica over it (which is saying something because we all know Edelgard isn't normally one to shout) and although I think she'd come back to apologize for losing her cool, I also think it would take a while for her to be comfortable around Monica again.

Oh I absolutely agree with you here.

When I first played 3 Hopes (which I still haven't finished bit I will someday) I was really excited at the prospect of having her as a real member of the cast and I was really curious about what they would choose to do with her. I really wanted to love her, but it's as you say: she's got one(1) personality trait, and it's simping over Edelgard. Of course, this is just my personal opinion, and isn't meant to offend abybody who likes her or invalidate their feelings: that being said, here are some quick thoughts on why she makes me uncomfortable personally.

As you said yourself, her obsession (i think it's fair to say it's gone too far to be a crush) over Edelgard is a meager foundation to build a character upon. I think it would've been a lot more interesting if she could grow from that first feeling instead of being stuck in the same emotional place the whole time; it sucks because I love to see characters evolve and become new versions of themselves and she just. wasn't it.

I also completely agree that Hubie's relationship with Edelgard is a lot healthier and more balanced because Hubert doesn't limit himself to that. I think this is best explained in his supports with Dorothea:

Here, Dorothea misunderstands the bound that unites our iconic gothic duo together for simple unrequited love, which would fit the description of Monica's attitude towards El better and which Hubert himself qualifies as being like a "drooling simpleton". Ouch.

Hubert and Edelgard's bound is strong not because it's motivated by romantic love but because they know each other, their dreams and their motivations. Because they are friends who share a vision. Which is the reason why I personally dislike Edelbert (you go though Edelbert shippers)- I think their relationship is a lot more interesting if its platonic rather than the typical romantic tale.

This leads me to my next point: what is so important about the way Edelgard interacts with the people around her is that she wants them to feel like they're on an equal footing to her. She wants there to be respect and appreciation of her interlocutor's abilities and input. However, this means that their interlocutor themself must make the effort to realize that. Which... Monica never really does. She holds Edelgard in such high regard that she doesn't think she could ever be as good as her in any regard and thus locks herself in a perpetual state of submissive adoration and awe, if that makes sense. Which is not a good basis for a relationship nor personal growth and would most likely lead to an unvoluntary power imbalance if they were ever to enter a relationship. And that's not what Edelgard wants from a lover either:

She wants a partner and an equal because this is the world she wants to bring about. Simple as that. Which, in my humble opinon, makes Edelthea and Edeleth two of the best Edelgard ships.

Also... If I were a princess who had been stuck in an abusive situation for years under the thumb of a sect which was actively watching me day to day, had secret connections to all spheres of power and had abducted me and my siblings to torture and kill us... Yeah Monica's behavior would creep the everloving f*ck out of me. I could definitely see Edelgard snapping at her because of that- hopefully that'd be the waking call she needed all along to realize that she fucked up big time and to start working on herself and her obsession.

Soooo... yeah. Thanks but no thanks Monica. xD

#ask #rubytactician #you are SO right #fe3h #fe3hopes #three hopes #edelgard von hresvelg #monica von ochs #then again people who like her and/or the ship are totally valid you do you i'm not here to judge #personally she makes me uncomfortable=(

[bottomlessabyssposts]

hello fellow former mlb victim fan

I’m so curious now on what your thoughts on the show are. Like, just in general and also how the romance was handled. If you wanna share 👀

LISTEN. Way too many things and I will end up making this post too long but... I have some pent up frustration so let's just go by seasons (+ some other stuff) THIS IS VERY LONG SO HAVE A NICE READ

S1 : I think s1 was fine overall, though I was absolutely creeped out by Mari's behavior like ??? She's very likable and honestly I enjoy her character most of the time but it's just. Why would you make this 14 years old obsessive ?? As a middle aged man ?? AS A GAG ???? anyways. I think s1 was the only season where I don't have many things to say because 1) it wasn't that bad 2) i don't remember much

S2 : The beginning of my doom, CN is dumbed down more and more by the writers in favor of LB and this is so weird. Adrien isn't dumb, what he is oblivious and unaware of social norms. He spent his life homeschooled. (ALSO may I ask why is his life presented as going down hill when his mom disappeared when he's always been hidden from the world ?? Why is his mom shown as good when he couldn't even go to school and didn't have any friends except Chloé ??? How is she a good mother ??? How did his father change exactly ?? Did he just become colder or ??)

I think the swap kwami episode was in s2 and this is one of my LEAST favorite episodes ; CN's job is perceived as easy compared to LB but i'm sorry can Mari sacrifice herself so easily without any guarantee to come back ?? The heavy burden of the power of destruction and the knowledge that she could KILL someone doesn't bother her ??? This episode just served the purpose to show how LB is just. Much more important than CN and I am SICK of it.

Also uh can we talk real quick about Master Fu ? Dude thought "training" (that apparently happened off screen which is just bad writing) a CHILD to become the next guardian was a good idea ? Mari is a kid with dreams and passions and chaining her down to this duty is just outright cruel. In later seasons we don't even see her make anything ? She is supposed to want to become a fashion designer and now she's stuck stressing over kwamis and a way too complicated task where if she messes up, the world as they know it ends.

ALSO. Just my opinion but. The guardian shouldn't have been Mari. Or Adrien. It should've been a third party, completely unrelated, so no power imbalance would be created between CN and LB. I'm sorry but this is such a huge thing about the show, that has been hammered into our heads, that "destruction and creation must be balanced" and they do that ?? (plus it led to the season i hate the most, s4) The show had the opportunity to introduce another character, or make use of an already introduced one (i.e Luka) and make them a guardian ! Or something ??

s3 was fine, I liked Chat Blanc for the most part (Mari's tresspassing, her sniffing Adrien's pillow... ugh.) and thought it was very very heartbreaking to see Adrien like that, my poor boy cannot catch a break. Also Chloé redemption !! She deserved it, with her abusive mother and all, too bad they decided to burn everything by making her a caricature of herself and introducing the most bland replacement for her ! (A half sister whose existence made NO SENSE ? I thought Chloé's mom didn't like kids ? Plus why would she bother taking her other kid to Paris, and risking her reputation with cheating rumors ???)

Now... Now let's talk about s4... So much happened in this god forsaken season and i'm so, so, so tired and shed so many tears of RAGE. Chat Noir became a sidekick, plain and simple. Not even "just" a sidekick the protagonist would respect, like Robin, but a simple fill-in, a "partner like any other" as LB so amicably put it in Kuro Neko. I feel like the writers wanted to write conflict and all but... it's so badly written and only served to make people hate CN.

Chat's trust was abused so many times (Ephemeral, when he and LB were supposed to show the other their identity but what he didn't know was that Viperion was to know too, instead of just... explaining the situation ?), he was kept in the dark many, many times, not only by LadyBug, but also by his Father (interesting parallels) and Fu, all which, somehow, have a position of power over him. He felt replaced, which is entirely valid, because as much as he didn't communicate this, he offered LB his help so many times, and tried to open up, and all these have been either ignored or rejected. (now I'll talk about Mari's side after, but just know that i absolutely do not blame her for being stressed ! I am just critizing her actions which hurt her supposed best friend and partner very deeply) Not to mention Scarabella, whom he never knew the existence of, and could've killed. Chat probably doesn't care much that someone knows her identity, but she never told him, or even considered telling him to find someone to tell, too. I'm sorry but LB has been so strict on these rules but now she doesn't follow them, yet expects Chat to. (also, i'm mad they stripped Chloé of her miraculous because apparently "Hawkmoth knows who she is". Well, Hawkmoth knows who Ryuko is too, as well as Rena, or Viperion. Yet they still have theirs ?)

Chat has no support !! no circle to support him whereas Mari has Alya, even the Kwamis, her parents, and her friends ! Adrien's parents are off the list, Nathalie is way too close to his Father, the Gorille isn't much help, and it's not like he's actually close to anyone if not Nino (their only memorable interaction is in Rocketear in s4). Then, he loses his miraculous and is actually blamed for getting hurt by LB's behavior and reacting harshly (he should yes apologize however) LB has provided NO apologies, instead making Chat feel guilty ?? I remember this episode SO well because I was HOPING for a sweet Ladynoir scene, but NOOOOOOOO. Also this showed how shallow Mari's love for Adrien was -- she's basically in love with his mask, not very different from Kagami "Stop acting like a clown" Tsurugi

I think, however, that showing why Adrigami and Lukanette wouldn't work is a great idea ! Was it greatly handled ? Not really, but it could've been great ! I love Kagami and Luka and I wish for them to be in good hands (mine)

One last thing about Chat, then we'll talk about Mari's side ; I HATE HATE HATE how they ignore his struggles or act as if they do not exist. The creator himself calls Adrien "perfect" and act as if Adrien is totally fine, when the situations the boy is in SHOW how distressing his situation is. Adrien is CANONICALLY shown to : accept death and die, more than once, try to cataclysm himself, eat very little, have weak boundaries and doesn't know how to say 'no', isn't really aware of others' boundaries as well, shut down as soon as his father raises his voice, been hit by his Father (both in normal and Hawkmoth form), still hasn't been able to properly grieve his mother. ALL of this, and none of it has been explored, because the focus is not on him if Mari isn't there. The writers HATE abused kids and I'm not afraid to say it, because s5 spoilers showed how they're (Adrien, Chloé and Kagami) treated and considered by the writers.

Now, onto Mari ! You're heard everything I complained about, now let's hear something else ; I loved seeing her under the pressure and how it affected her, though I find it cruel, it was interesting to see since she learned a lot about herself and other people. Too bad the writers refuse to make characters change, huh. Also, nice that she tries to move on from Adrien ! Still not over the statue thing, but it's refreshing to see her move on, if only for like, three episodes. I wish we could've seen genuinely learn how to treat her partner better, how to not take him for granted. Maybe her resenting Master Fu for putting such a heavy burden on her shoulders ? She's the class president, a full time middle schooler, guardian and super hero, and that's it. She cannot indulge in her hobbies anymore and that sucks, because she deserves to be a kid. The writers obviously want her to be the most important character by pushing every single thing and events on her, even when her presence is not even necessary.

Since Mari is pushed to be the centre of everything, where she shouldn't even be, it means she gets both privilege by the writers, and also pain. It was nice though to have a character I could empathize with and also critisize, though the writers want to make her as lovely as possible.

As for the romance between Mari and Adrien... I stopped wanting them to be together in s4, because truth be told, they're incompatible, and the Universe obviously doesn't like them together either lol. It was so weirdly put in s5, and I stopped watching the show since then, so I don't know much, except for big, big spoilers which make me want to barge in the writers' room and strangle them one by one.

The ship is no longer something I enjoy, for many reasons, and I think they should've ended up with someone else (Adrien realizing he's gay and Marinette kissing Kagami on the lips for example)

Okay and for s5 just know that I hate it.

-> Marinette, of all people, learning who Hawkmoth is and then CHOOSING not to tell Adrien, as well as offering Gabriel to die as a hero, is just horrible. The conscious choice of taking away his agency, ONCE AGAIN, hiding secrets from him, hiding from him the fact that his father, his abuser, is HAWKMOTH is horrible. I wanted the confrontation between him and his father, but NOTHING. Mari got the spotlight and Adrien is nothing more than a bird in a cage I hate the writers.

-> Chloé got disowned by her (incompetent) dad and forced to leave with her Mother. What a way to get rid of the bully ! Giving her to her abusive mother ! Who doesn't know her name, doesn't care about ! As if Chloé didn't cry "why don't you love me, mom ?" ! God.

-> the senti reveal. I hate the senti theory i hate that it's real. They can't fight back, otherwise they can just be erased of existence, and even taking back the amok is useless because what if it breaks ? what if you lost it ? someone steals it ? I hate it so, so, so much, and making abused kids sentihumans is the worst thing ever.

#this is very long #nico asks #not gonna tag it from the source because i don't want them to perceive me but #here are my thoughts #my many many many thoughts

[inspector-constable]

My thoughts on Barbenheimer, since these movies are now inextricably linked in my mind forever and I liked both of them more than I thought I would:

Barbie

I had a lot of thoughts on feminism, patriarchy, capitalism, and all that jazz after watching this one, but smarter people have already dissected that better than I could.

What I will say is I was hysterically laughing at almost every moment to the point where my face and abs hurt. Every time Will Farrell's gaggle of incompetent suited executive officers were on screen I just couldn't hold the giggles in. Helen Mirren's narration reminded me SO MUCH of God in Good Omens in a way that really got to me. There were parts where nobody else in the theater was laughing, but my partner and I were fighting to keep our guffaws down because the humor was just so, so on point for us. "SUBLIME."

My partner is a cis white male, and after reading the opinions of others of his kind, I am reminded once again how fucking lucky I am that he turned out to be a good one. He liked the movie even more than I did and it really resonated with him.

I wished the movie had delved a tiny bit more into how the patriarchy fucks men up too, and not just queer or neurodivergent or different men like Allan, ALL men are shoved into a box and punished for stepping out of line under the patriarchy. And I wish Allan had more screentime.

Generally I felt the movie was a bit heavy handed with its morals. Of course I completely agree with what it had to say and I don't mean to tone police. But because of my background and religious trauma I am just acutely and unfortunately aware of the kind of visceral reaction certain people will have to the way Barbie presents its themes. This was a movie that speaks to people who already agree with its central ideas. But if the writers/producers actually wanted to make anti-feminists think critically about their position, I think the message was a bit too hamfisted or condescending to accomplish that.

However I'm aware that even my thinking about this point is largely because of my anxiety and religious trauma and I am really tired of running films through a filter of "What would my dad say if he watched this movie?" I'll stop there before this becomes an entire therapy sesh

All that being said, I laughed, I cried, I spilled water on myself, I loved seeing all the pink clothes. Every actor was hysterical and beautiful. I love that movies can be bright and colorful and whimsical again. I gave the movie a 9/10.

Oppenheimer

What a shock to move on to this movie. To be honest, I am not a fan of war movies in general and I didn't know why people were so excited about this one. We probably wouldn't have gone if our friends didn't want to do the double feature.

At first, I was irritated. After coming from Barbie, having a movie totally populated by old cis white men felt annoying. There were almost no important female characters at the beginning. I noticed how Florence Pugh's character was basically just a sex object - yes she had interesting opinions, but it seemed like she was naked and riding a dick for half her scenes. Why was she naked but Cillian Murphy was fully clothed for their first sex scene? The whole movie seemed focused on a male gaze and a male perspective, par for the course for a war movie.

When Emily Blunt's character said "Can you explain quantum physics to me? It seems awfully complex." All I could think was "Can you play guitar at me?" Dead.

BUT.

As the movie went on I started to realize how well it fit with the themes Barbie focused on, but from another side. This movie is full of old cis white men, yes. They are the patriarchy, the literal men in power.

Oppenheimer actually did an incredible job examining exactly what I was left contemplating after I left Barbie - how the patriarchy destroys everyone, even the men who it benefits the most.

What a perfect example of how the competitive, egotistical, compassion-less, violent nature of toxic masculinity hurts everyone who participates in it while claiming innocent victims. The patriarchy built a weapon of mass destruction, refused to listen to calls for discretion, and murdered hundreds of thousands of civilians. And then the men, just like the Kens, began to feel their egos being threatened and they fought and backstabbed each other into obliteration.

So in the end it ended up being a marvelous commentary on similar social and political issues just like Barbie, while also being a strong anti-war movie (as Steven Spielberg would say every war movie is.) It was beautifully shot and the performances were incredible. The use of color and sound was perfect and the Trinity bomb scene (and the gym scene after) was one of the most impactful things I have ever seen. I felt like my brain was buzzing and my jaw was open for most of the movie.

However, I don't think Oppenheimer passed the Bechdel test and I was pretty bummed at the lack of female characters although Kitty's questioning scene was the most badass part of the whole movie. It was too long, too many names to remember, the timelines were confusing, and everything after the bomb test seemed to be boring political dialogue that I barely stayed awake for.

I gave it an 8/10.

#holy crap i have so many more thoughts #nobody is going to read this except maybe me in the future #barbie #oppenheimer #barbenheimer #barbie spoilers #oppenheimer spoilers #movie review

[what-yadoking-likes]

Your really cool. Opinion on how everything is looking for payday 3?

HELLO I AM SORRY FOR LETTING THIS SIT IN MY ASK BOX FOR AGES.

'Your really cool' /blushes and hides like the dork I truly am/

Payday 3! Payday 3. Well.

First off, my enthusiasm has been somewhat dulled when I checked my laptop specs against the minimum recommended settings for Payday 3 and, uhh... it doesn't even come close. Now, I know it's possible that I could get it to run regardless of having a lower spec machine, but... I think it's too low spec even for that. And whilst my partner has insisted I can use his/our gaming PC, built specifically by him for this purpose, I know he is a jealous and greedy God over that thing, so my opportunity to actually play the damn thing may be quite... limited. So that has kinda... dulled some of my enthusiasm ngl.

BUT. I am a fan of KKnowley over on YouTube and I watched one of his livestreams where he was answering fan submitted questions (and possibly slotted in a few questions of my own into the chat) and... I do like what I see so far. Seems there will be some new features to get to grips with, which seems scary and intimidating now but I felt that way when making the jump from Payday: the Heist to Payday 2, and look at me now! I've clocked over 700 hours of Payday 2, if Steam's calculations are correct (and I have no reason to suspect otherwise).

I like the idea of weighted floor plates/security alarm triggering floor panels in the art gallery-esque heist we have seen. The use of smartphones makes sense, though I suspect it may take some getting used to just because it is a new feature.

Hoxton's hair bothers me, ngl. Thing is, in Payday 3 these fellas are older. Canonically and common-sensically, they are older. So why does Hoxton have a haircut that a young fuckboy of 18 or 19 would get? Is my boy having a quarter-lifecrisis? Cuz if so SAME MY FRIEND but I am not about his hair. I have not written over 170,000 words for a fuckboy with a fade. Fuck sake. I know it's literally just cosmetic and it shouldn't matter but... it does. Yeah, people get haircuts - but... I just don't see Hoxton with this fucking hairstyle. A manbun I would have accepted. Longer hair, I would have accepted - welcomed, even, with open arms.

I wanna hear more of Wolf's new voice actor. Voice acting has and will always be important to me - I used to want to be a voice actor as a teen, and often use funny voices as a teacher for funsies - so making sure the new VA is doing a good job is something I want to check out.

I'm sorry this has been a long, possibly confusing and rambling reply. I have had to correct the spellings on some of these words more times than I care to admit because I am 2 double G&Ts in at this point (and going back for another in a minute because I have no self-discipline WHATSOEVER)... but thank you for the Ask <3

#Yado replies #Yado answers #Payday 2 #Yado drinks #in which Yado yet again complains about Hoxton's hair #Wolf #Hoxton #is this a shitpost? who knows #payday

[ot3]

hi miss ot3 im going through a dilemma and you seem really smart so id appreciate your opinion. i and some people i know are deciding on an important managerial position but the main candidate is completely unqualified for the role. i tried to suggest other candidates but the main reason theyre giving it to her is because shell feel bad otherwise. her partner is the main person supporting her and no one really wants to disagree with him because everyones friends. can i do anything or am i stuck?

well as a warning in advance im not qualified to answer this question At All on the grounds of anything but common sense. however with that caveat on the table i think you pretty obviously can't let this happen. i dont know entirely what you're working on here but i'm going to assume it is at least decently formal/official and of some consequence.

There's essentially no scenario in which hiring this woman doesn't blow up later, and if I had to guess it'd end up being much worse than whatever sort of blowout you stand to have with her and her boyfriend. For starters, whoever actually is qualified for this position that gets passed over will be rightfully bitter, if its someone you end up bringing on for this job/project at all. everyone having to work underneath her will be rightfully bitter, because there's nothing worse than having to take instructions from someone who doesn't know what theyre doing. in fact, id argue that you run a serious risk of your most competent workers walking out entirely, because the more skilled you are at something the more demeaning it is to be told to do it poorly, and the easier it is to find similar or better work/experience elsewhere.

It also threatens the integrity of whatever project you're working on that needs managing. managing is like a critical thing to Not Fuck Up if you want something done successfully and smoothly. i've actually got two very close family members who do project management for a living - my aunt who works for the bank of america, and my dad who works for the CDC - and it seems like the critical thing for managing people is to understand the collective skillset and capacity of your team well enough to let them do what they're good at. and frankly if this is a person who will make a big stink if theyre being told they don't have the skillset you're looking for, then this is probably something they lack the ability to do. Additionally, if someone is the kind of person who would make a huge stink about getting passed up for someone more qualified, they don't really seem like the kind of person you'd want to be working together with in the first place? it's just a one way ticket to having a subpar final product, if you're too afraid to critique them or their work for fear of backlash.

additionally if she really truly is incompetent, eventually at some point that will become so much of an issue that you can't keep her in this position anymore, which brings you back to square one. so really going through with this is just delaying and worsening the exact situation you're trying to avoid

if the other people who are making this decision with you agree that this woman is incompetent + want the work to succeed, then hopefully they'll come around to this line of reasoning. if they don't agree or aren't that invested in the final project, then it seems like you guys might have some irreconcilable differences regarding the subject in question.

[violentviolette]

Hello, I was wondering if I could have a second opinion on something. I don't believe you have watched "Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" but I wanted your opinion on Leonardo possibly having ASPD. I apologize in advance if 'diagnosing' a character seems stereotypical and/or offensive, it isn't my intention and I don't believe he does have ASPD (he seems more ADHD/Autism coded than anything else) but wanted an opinion on the symptoms that do seem to overlap with the PD.

In short, I'm basically asking; what level of violence/aggression does one have to consistently showcase to be diagnosed as a pwASPD? It's hard to properly understand Cluster B PDs due to the spread of stereotypes and everything across all prevalent communities, which is why I'm asking. You're free to ignore this if you don't want to answer. I may be phrasing this ask wrong (I do Not Know Words) so I apologize again if I'm enforcing a stereotypical stance here unintentionally.

It's really annoying that this disorder is continually spread as an irredeemable criminal disorder and nothing else. It really messes with my understanding of it, so I want to better my understanding of the anger and violent aggression(s) struggle of this disorder without bias.

so okay a couple things, first i dont mind headcanon asks and i think its normal and natural to see urself reflected in characters and want to analyze them thru that lense and give them traits u have. every fictional character i have ever liked is trans cause i say so kinda vibe, so no worries there. altho ive not watched rise yet so i cant speak to any of those characters specifically (though ive heart its amazing and its on my list) when it comes to ur actual questions theres really 2 answers because talking about fictrional characters and real life people is completely differnt. for example, leonardo lives in a fictional universe where he fights bad guys for a living. him going out and brutally kicking the shit out of and murdering nameless faceless henchman of an evil organization isnt considerent agressive physical violence the way it would be if a real life person put on a turtle costume and went and did the same. we dont expect a mutant ninja turtle to feel regret or shame or sadness or deal with social and interpersonal reprocussions after slamming a hand members face into the ground u know? thats his job lmfaooo so u have to adjust ur thinking accordingly

so what is considerd a disordered level of aggression and physical violence in a real life person vs a character are going to be Wildly different. so the metric u have to use is less about individual specific actions or levels and is instead more questions of is this level of aggression and physical violence

1. a disproportionate and unreasonable response/reaction to the situation at hand. for example, if someone is threatning to stab u, punching them in the face is a reasonable and proportionate reaction to the situation. whereas punching a friend or partner in the face because they did something that upset u is very much not and therefore disordered. if ur immediate and instinctual response to small scale distress is violence that u impulsively act on, then it's most likely hit the level of a disordered symptom and should be counted and considered

2. does it negatively impact, affect, and get in the way of the important relationships with others u are trying to make. does it cause ur life distress, struggle, and make it overall harder for u to be close to and connect with others when and how u want to. is it harming the people around u and who come into contact with u in ways that negatively impact ur life and make it more difficult for u to interact. for example, there's a difference between being agry and aggresive and violent towards say a parent or ex who abused u and a stranger or good friend. being angry and reacting with violence towards people who are trying to or are/have hurt u is a normal and natural response to abuse

everyone experiences anger and agrression, and sometimes, violence and aggression are the correct healthy and normal response to a situation. othertimes they very much are not, and that distinction is what dictates whether or not something is a symptom that needs to be addressed. so looking at the situation around the aggression and violence and what causes it to manifest is very important when considering what is and isnt a symptom

#jack.speaks #anon #aspd #i normally dont put headcanon asks in the tag and instead use #aspd headcanons #but since this is talking about how to identify that symptom in general and can be applied irl i feel like its relevent #and might be helpfull for other ppl too

[humming-pokemon-helpers]

[OOC: Hi, I'm @galarianblogger, and um... my character has trauma? I don't really know what to do, because I hadn't planned on her having trauma but the more I try to explain the discrepancies between my original description of her and her developing views and opinions the more trauma she gains. I'm pretty sure I've never had a traumatic experience but the growing amount of trauma my character has is making me anxious.]

Okay, I'm going to try and keep this brief.

Back when I was 15, I accepted a job at a shady pokemon breeding farm. I didn't realise what I was getting myself into and witnessed terrible things happen to pokemon.

I saw a therapist at the time and reported the entire incident to the police (who shut down the breeding farm in a matter of days), but ever since my mum got into an accident, I've been thinking more and more about that time in my life.

I don't understand the connection between the two events (if there is one) and am worried about my trauma taking over my life and my blog.

I don't want to drive away the people who follow my blog, but I've already posted the first half of the story to my blog and I don't know what to do...

//Hey, nothing wrong with writing characters that have different lived experiences from your own, as long as you’re putting in the consideration and research necessary to talk about it respectfully! Sometimes characters seem to develop without the input of their own creators, and I always find that a wonderful and fulfilling part of creation :)//

Well, first off, know that you’re not obliged to post anything that you don’t want to… but at the same time, if putting these experiences out there helps you feel some sense of closure, I think it’s more than worthwhile. Sometimes even just writing out experiences can help us process them.

As for the specifics… Arc, not a day goes by that I don’t hate shiny breeders. I’m so sorry you had such a traumatic run-in with them. You couldn’t have known better, as a kid, and you already did so much by reporting the operation. Know, at least logically, you did your best. You did good.

Of course, trauma isn’t logical. You’ve seen a lot of terrible things. I’m glad to hear you saw a therapist at the time of the events. But trauma can definitely interact in strange ways, and new trauma can bring up and recontextualize old trauma as well.

Given that this seems to be weighing on you a lot and resurfacing, I’d be happy to meet to talk about this further and possibly discuss some ways to begin processing things, or just give you a space to talk about how you’re feeling. But one important thing is to lean on others. Your Pokémon partners, or your friends, for instance. People are more willing to help than you think. And you are deserving of a caring, listening shoulder.

#pokeblogging #pkmn irl #ask vanilla

[khaleesiofalicante]

You know what pisses me off, my work firing my significant other over bullshit.

So, this bitch assistant manager has been terrible to him and even made a racist joke towards him, she also said unprofessional things about him over the walkie at work. And her "Bestie" at work harassed him too. They liked to blame everything on him.

He ended up having enough and called the manager out. He got sent home, put on suspension, then terminated. Nothing happened to the racist manager or her best friend.

They also made up fake incidents to HR just to make him look worse. Saying he cursed in front of customers. When the assistant manager's bff does the same thing and says similar things to all the managers that my boyfriend did, and no one does anything to her.

The other assistant manager also told me that she doesn't tolerate disrespect in the workplace, but they've been disrespecting him for weeks now. So to me it just means they don't tolerate disrespect towards managers but it's ok to disrespect an employee. She also told me it doesn't hurt me personally. But it does, I love him and them doing this to him hurts, not to mention he's another source of income in my household and he's my ride to work, so it does hurt my job.

This whole situation makes me livid. I haven't been this mad in a long time. I'm sad and angry on his behalf and wanted to quit right there and then to "FUCK YOU!!" to them. But he told me to not and keep the job and discount for us. But I feel terrible for that after what they did to them.

All these managers are also all white so it felt unfair.

I told him to take it to corporate but he doesn't want. I think it was a wrongful termination.

I want karma to bite them all in the ass.

Sorry, I just wanted to rant to someone logical who can also give me a good opinion on this.

This is absolutely unacceptable - and unfortunately far too common!

I'm so sorry this happened to your partner.

Something that helps in situations like this is to find other victims of harassment and discrimination in your workplace. Most often, managers like that, target more than one person. There might be many who work there (or have worked there) who may have been subjected to their racist treatment.

If you could find a couple of more people and then it might be easier to convince HR (or any other management body) about how the managers are the ones at fault here.

However, in situations like this, it's extremely important to do what your partner wants. If he doesn't want to complain or take it further, then you must respect that decision. But make sure that he is aware that if he wants to go forward (now or in the future or during a different situation) he will have your support.

I hope you are well, and sending best wishes to your partner! He deserves better!

#support

[nimuetheseawitch]

rules: list eight shows for your followers to get to know you better

Tagged by @marley--manson

I'm pretty sure I did something like this recently where people were using the shows' posters. Since it says "get to know you better," I'm going to assume anyone reading this can read my little description and already know I'm into those shows. I'm also going to do that because it makes it harder/more interesting for me.

Doctor Who This was the show that got me onto Tumblr (that's not entirely true - my roommate dragged me on here, kicking and screaming, just like how I have joined every social media site ever), and it's one of the first shows I was weird about as a (kind of) adult. I'm an Eccleston fan through and through. This is another show that my partner and I stalled on because of a variety of life things, so we're years and years behind.

Veronica Mars I love this show. I didn't actually watch it until I was in grad school (and then I binged an entire season without sleeping one time during a PhD-induced anxiety spiral, so), but I adored it. I have always loved the girl detective, or even just boy detective, genre (looking at you, Harriet the Spy, Sammy Keyes, and Encyclopedia Brown), and this just did that dripping in early 2000's teen tv drama. And I adore Enrico Colantoni as her dad. I also always appreciate a detective show where the cops are the bad guys.

The O.C. I am often kind of ashamed of my deep love for The O.C., and I'm trying not to be. I got the DVDs out from the library and hid in my bedroom to watch it because my family would've made fun of it (probably - I was also a teenager and just afraid of people judging me). This marks the beginning of my massive crush on bisexual characters played by Olivia Wilde. I loved every moment of this show, sometimes especially when it was being awful.

The Avengers (1965-1967) British spy-fi starring Diana Rigg playing Emma Peel, an actively publishing theoretical physicist who knows martial arts and wears catsuits. What more could you want? If anything made me queer, it was Emma Peel. And although she's partnered with John Steed, supposedly a professional spy while she's an amateur, she regularly came in kicking to save his butt. I have only ever seen Series 4 & 5 with them as the main team, so I actually have zero opinions on the rest.

Killjoys I love this show so much. I wish it had been allowed to have more than 10 episodes a season because I would've loved to see more unabashedly queer sci-fi bounty hunter side plots. I love that the main characters are platonic life partners who did crime until they ran out of money and became bounty hunters. And that there are assassins and creepy conspiracies and cyberpunk awesomeness and the show is almost more bisexual than Lost Girl.

Anne With An E I loved Anne of Green Gables as a kid, and this show was beautiful and compelling and did a really good job with most things. This was one of the first shows I did a virtual watchalong with friends in 2020 at the beginning of COVID, and those watchalongs reminded me that I had internet friends and showed me how I could shift my social life, so this show is important to me.

Pose I don't even know where to start. I love this show, and Papi and Angel are perfect and deserve the world.

Buffy/Angel Buffy and Angel were incredibly important to my development as a queer feminine-presenting person. I actually didn't watch Buffy all the way through until after I'd become obsessed with Firefly. I have lots and lots of feelings about Buffy and Angel and I have so many of the comics that were a continuation of the show, and I got really into the lore, and I'm glad it existed. I'm glad I enjoyed it, and I'm glad I went back and saw how problematic a lot of it was. And whenever I think about it, I think wistfully of Monster of the Week style shows with a bajillion episodes per season.

I hope people feel like they know me better because I feel like I just went on an emotional journey, y'all. I'm not tagging anyone because I'm tired, but if anyone wants to do this, I would love to read what other people have to say.

#tag game #get to know me

[johnnys-green-pen]

for the ship asks, gonna give you a fun, kinda tough one. johnny and morton.

ayyyy

Y'know what? Actually probably not that tough. I would maybe ship that if I could see Morton as anything else but "married to the job".

So, Johnny and Morton. They have a really nice selection of differences and similarities.

First off, as with Brackett, you get that... hmm, I'd call it Rivals To Lovers in this case, given that Morton has neither the inclination nor the means to qualify as an enemy - but yeah, that kinda dynamic.

They're two hard-headed, opinionated people clashing - but notably also two hard-headed, opinionated people who mean well and are damned good at what they do, which is, in itself a really fun dynamic.

I'm sure they'd find stuff to bond over - both of them hinted at a kinda rough childhood, both of them probably took an interesting path to where they are, both of them have something to say about society.

Both of them are the youngest of their respective work peers, interestingly enough - more stuff to bond about.

They have the potential to make each other better people.

Morton really figures out how to show empathy and engage with people on an emotional level over the course of the show, and while I think that's largely Brackett's influence, I wouldn't be surprised if Morton learns a thing or two about bedside manner and why it's important from Johnny, too.

On the other hand, unlike a certain paramedic, Morton doesn't seem nearly as concerned with social conventions - you won't see him chasing girls just so he can tick off "have a partner" on his list of life goals. Sure, he has to make some effort to seem palatable to ~society~, but generally speaking he seems happy enough as long as people respect him as a competent doctor, and that’s a lesson that Johnny sorely needs to learn.

The potential for heartfelt conversations and emotional discovery, my folks!!

Morton seems to have a soft spot for good live music, and I would love to read a fic where Morton gets Johnny into that as well.

Also, Johnny somehow weaseling his way through Morton's hard-nosed façade is an excellent fic hook as well.

Morton + "oh shit, feelings" = fuck yeah

tl;dr, as per usual all of this would work just fine in friendship fics too, but I'm never averse to a good ship - and it would be a fascinating ship because it's way more about character development than even Johnny/Roy is.

(I do maybe ship that a little)

#catherinesclaws #emergency! #penworks #memery #.... someone write me some Johnny/Morton? #I have a Mighty Need