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wtfduolingo · 5 months
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ID: Duolingo phrase with an image of a cat brushing its teeth that translates to "I love brushing my teeth with this salmon-flavored toothpaste.
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extremeketoefxus · 3 years
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shecaresshedoes · 4 years
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Next of Kin.
this is Alex’s happy ending. 
Kyle just got off of a 25-hour shift and all he wanted was his Abduction Waffles with a large Dark Beam coffee and a side of U.F-Donuts. He did not order a Michael Guerin to share his booth. Kyle did his best to keep an uncomfortable scowl form on his lips as Guerin licked syrup off his motor oil stained fingers.
“So, Doc. How’s Isobel?” Wiping his hand off on a napkin, Michael looked Kyle dead in the eye and waited for an answer. Kyle and Isobel have been building a closer bond after the night two years ago bumping into each other at the gay bar. Their friendship has formed into uncharted territory that neither seem to get the courage to explore.
Kyle gave him a deadpanned stare, “She’s your sister, Guerin. Why don’t you ask her yourself?”
“I know I can. I just want to hear it from you.” Michael replied.
Drinking the last of his coffee before responding another body landed on his side of the booth grabbing his half-eaten donut from his plate. “I’m fine, Michael. How are you?” Isobel squinted her eyes at her brother who gave her an innocent smile.
“I’m great, sis. Just wanted to know how you were, considering you’ve been hanging out with Valenti a lot. I’m starting to think that you forgot all about your baby brother.”
“Trust me. If you could forget about you, I would.” Isobel rolled her eyes. “If Alex finds a file about removing memories I’ll be the first to volunteer.” She teased, but soon regretted the words when she felt Michaels powers spike. She looked up at him and saw his jaw clenched and chest heaving. Kyle too had to look of pity on his features, he squeezed her knee under the table as if to say “you didn’t do anything. You know this is on him.”
Michael hasn’t spoken more than ten words to Alex when they were in the same vicinity in over two years. He thought going ten years with Alex was oversees was rough, but knowing exactly where he was and seeing him on a weekly basis was unbearable. They were friends, they were. But after a stupid night with Maria, they were never the same again even after he and Maria broke up. Alex didn’t look him in the eye, when he did laugh at something Michael—which was rare, he was keeping count—it was nothing more than a closed mouth chuckle. God, he missed Alex’s laugh.
“Yo.” Liz came to their booth wearing her uniform. “Need anything, Iz?”
Ripping her eyes from her brother she looked up at Liz, “No, I’m fine. Thanks.” Iz nodded and began to pick up Kyle and Michael’s dishes with Kyle’s help. Michael was too focused on his hands.
“Well, I’m not leaving this place anytime soon, but Alex and Jenna should be at you-know-where in few hours. Meet there?” Kyle and Isobel agreed and Liz made her way back to the kitchen, not before squeezing Michael’s shoulder.
Isobel reached out and grabbed Michaels hand which woke him from his thoughts, “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t of--.”
“You didn’t do anything.” He said with tight lips. “I did.”
Before Isobel can apologize further, heavy footsteps made their way towards the trio’s booth and called for Kyles attention. “Mijo.” Sheriff Valenti greeted. Confused, Kyle gently tapped Isobel’s leg and she quickly got up and smiled at the sheriff as Kyle gave his mom a hug.
“Hey! I thought we were gonna do dinner tonight?” Kyle released his mother and stared at her face. She looked pale and was swaying in place. “Mom? You okay. Do you need to sit down?”
“No, mijo. I’m fine but we need to cancel dinner tonight.”
Crossing his arms, Kyle replied. “Okay. Why?”
“It’s Alex.”
The diner’s power went out.  
The drive to Santa Fe was long. Even with a police escort.
“Drive!” Michael shouted from the backseat. Was he okay? Is he alone? He knew he should’ve gone with them. “Can you hurry up?”
Kyle looked at him through the rear-view mirror. “I can’t Guerin! If I could I would, we are already hitting 90 with a police escort.”  
Isobel turned her body towards her brother from the passenger side as Liz tried to rub soothing circles on his back. “You need to calm down.”
Defeated Michael sat back down trying to keep his anger in check. As they reached the hospital and put the car in park all three ran full speed into the hospital with Michael leading them. As he got to the receptionist desk he all but yelled out. “Alexander Manes!” The young girl with the volunteer shirt looked up at him with wide eyes. Michael wasn’t in the mood for decency. “Alex Manes? Are you deaf? Where is he?”
“Guerin!” Kyle grabbed his elbow, only to have Michael in his face. “She’s a kid!” Clenching his teeth, Michael let out a heavy breath through his nose.
Liz stepped to the desk with a bright smile. “I’m so sorry. We just drove from Roswell and two of our friends are here and we are really worried about them. Please forgive him.” The girl only managed to nod as her shaky hands grabbed the keyboard closer to her.
“It-Its okay. Um, sorry, names please?”
“Alexander Manes and Jenna Cameron.” Isobel calmly said.
“Um…oh...okay. Ms. Cameron was released and Mr. Manes is on the 4thfloor. There is a waiting area right in front of the elevator.”
Michael ran towards the elevator leaving the other three behind. Isobel rolled her eyes before giving the volunteer a kind smile, “Thank you so much. Again, please forgive my brother.”
The other three caught up and once they exited the elevator they saw Max and Jenna in the waiting room. Max had his deputy uniform on while Jenna was wearing scrubs given from the hospital. Max stood and Liz was sheltered by his arms in a deep hug. Michael went straight to Jenna as she was sitting in a wheelchair and a bandage going around her right wrist and butterfly bandages on her forehead and eyebrow. “What happened?”
“Michael.” Max’s voice boomed.
“Where is he?” He ignored his brother as his eyes never left Jenna’s. She looked up at him completely unbothered. “Cam!”
“Michael!” Isobel behind Jenna with her hands on the other blonde’s shoulders. Jenna reached up and tapped Isobel’s hand.
“It’s okay. He’s worried.” Jenna’s eyes never left Michaels face. “We were on our way back to Roswell when a big rig ran a red light. We were T-boned on the passenger side.” Swallowing the bile in her mouth caused by the guilt. “I was driving.”
Michael stood still. Eyes on Jenna but not really seeing her. He was seeing a flipped car. Air bags deployed. A bloody passenger. An ambulance that took too long to get to the scene. He saw Alex dead.
Kyle kneeled down to Jenna’s level. “It’s not your fault.” Jenna looked at her close friend with watery eyes.
“I was driving.” She repeated.
“But you didn’t run the red light.” Liz said next to Max. She turned to look at her boyfriend. “Wait. When did you get here?”
“About an hour and a half ago. I was there when the Chief got the call,” he reached up and clasped a hand on Michael’s shoulder. “I didn’t want to leave them here alone for too long.”
Michael turned to his brother’s hand and looked up at his face. “Thank you.” Max only gave him a small smile. He turned back down to Jenna, “I’m sorry, Cam. Are you okay?” He was ashamed, she was hurt too.
Sniffing a bit, she playfully punched his thigh, “Don’t worry about it. Just a twisted wrist and a fractured leg. Nothing whiskey can’t fix.”
“How’s Alex?” Isobel asked. Max and Jenna looked at each other, unsure.
Max spoke up, “They won’t tell us.”
The shamed look on Michaels face turned to anger, “What? Why not?”
Jenna answered, “They can only speak to family or next of kin. So, we have to wait for his brothers to show up or For--.”
“For Alex Manes.” A doctor came into the waiting room in scrubs matching Jenna’s and clipboard in hand. “We are looking for family and/or next of kin.”
Michael was about to yell at her that he is family. Alex is Michaels family. Alex is the only family her will ever need.
“Next of kin: Dr. Kyle Valenti.” She read off the clipboard. Kyle stepped forward with a straight back and squared shoulders.
“Right here.”
The doctor stretched out her hand, “Hello. I’m Dr. Nic Hawkin. I’m the attending surgeon of Alex’s care.”
“Surgeon?” Michael stepped forward until both Liz and Max grabbed each of his elbows from walking further.
Dr. Hawkin did not look fazed and continued to speak to Kyle. “I understand you are his primary physician?”
“Yes. He’s been in my care for almost 3 years now.” Kyle responded professionally.
“Follow me.” Both doctors walked out of the waiting room and down the hallway. The rest of the people left were silent. Max walked right next to Michael as he saw his brother slowly losing grasp of his anger.
“He’s going to be okay.”
Kyle came back 20 minutes later with fresh scrubs of his own and a hair cap. Michael stood up and bee lined towards Valenti. Kyle raised his hands silently telling people to calm down.
“The crash caused internal bleeding of the liver and they went in to repaired that and his lung that a rib punctured. He’s okay.”
Michael felt the world lift.
“For now.” Kyle added quietly. Michael eyes snapped.
“Speak, Valenti.”
Kyle sighed before he answered. “Internal bleeding is a bitch. Any little thing can cause it to rupture again. Right now, he’s in ICU. After literally begging on my knees they’re are letting me care for him with the team they have right now.”
Michael began to pace the floor. He almost began to pull his curls out. Before he stopped dead on his tracks and turned to his brother. “Max…”
Liz stood between Max and Michael as the latter made his way in front of his brother. “Please…”
Max looked towards the floor. “I’m sorry.”
Tears flooded Michael’s eyes, “Max, please. I know this is a lot. But please.” His voice began to crack. Isobel’s eyes began to swim in tears as well. “I’ve never asked you for anything. Please Max. He needs to be okay.”
Michael was grabbing on to his brother’s shoulders, looking Max right into this eyes and begging. Begging for him to save the man he loves. Begging to be able to see Alex smile. Begging for Alex to be with him again. Max gently grabbed his forearms and said, “I can’t.”
Isobel came behind Michael and hugged him from behind, “You know that’s risking exposure…We can’t do it.” Michael stepped away from his siblings.
“But it’s okay to bring a dead girl back to life, right?”
“Michael,” Kyle said grabbing his attention. “Alex is in a hospital bed recovering from intense surgery. Even if Max heals him how are you gonna explain that?”
“We’ll figure it out!”
“Mikey.” Liz stepped closer to Michael standing a safe distance. “He is going to be fine. He’s a survivor.”
Michael final broke down. His face was scrunched up in pain and the sobs went through his entire body and into the waiting room. Liz wrapped him in her arms and let his heavy body lean into hers. Between his gasps of air, she heard him say, “not like this…I can’t lose him like this.”
They were in the waiting room for 3 hours. Each taking turns buying coffee and snacks for the rest. There was no difference of Alex’s condition and no difference in Michael’s patience. The rest were able to have him sit down for more than 20 minutes at a time but his nerves won’t let him. They were in their own thoughts as soon when the elevator door opened and a hurricane of blue hair runout.
“Where is his?” Forrest didn’t waste any time.
Irritated by him in an instant, Michael placed a cold smirk on his face. “Finally, you show up.”
Forrest’s usually kind and soft eyes hardened, “Fuck off, Guerin.”
“Alex must be so important that you waited 5 hours to get here.”
“I just landed from New York, asshole.”
Jenna sighed and rolled her way closer to Forrest. “I’ve been texting him as soon as I was released. Not like that was any of your concern.” She switched her attention from Michael to Forrest, “He’s okay but in the ICU, he’s still critical.”
“I need to see him.” Forrest’s whole body was shaking with nerves. His charming face was in a cold sweat and pale to the sight.
Kyle stood up and embraced Forrest, “He’ll be okay.”
Forrest took in deep steady breathes as the separated, “I need to see him.” He repeated.
“For Alex Manes.” A nurse came into the waiting room. Everyone stood up at attention and began to crowd around the nurse. “He’s awake.” Everyone started to ask a million questions at once, the man started to be overwhelmed, “I’m sorry. I can only speak to family or Dr. Valenti.”  
Forrest spoke up, “Me. You can speak to me.”
The nurse looked skeptical, “And you are…?”
“His fiancée.”
What.
Fiancée.
Forrest.
Alex…
“Okay. Follow me.” Forrest eagerly followed the nurse with Kyle closely behind. Michael felt like the world was upside down and inside out. Alex is getting married? To Forrest? That wasn’t supposed to happen. He wasn’t supposed to fall in love. Michael was supposed to marry Alex. Grow old with Alex. He was supposed to be Alex’s. Alex was going to be with him. Not Forrest. Never Forrest. Michael felt small hands on his shoulder and felt Isobel’s weight on his side. He couldn’t react. He just heard the blood rushing through his ear and felt his heart down to his feet.
“C’mon, sit down.” Isobel led him away from the rest and Max followed, sitting Michael in a bench. Michael sat down like a robot no emotion was on his face. His heart and mind were blank, the only think and hear was “fiancée.” Max sat next to him while Isobel was kneeled right in front to him. “Talk to us.” His entire body felt like it was ran over by a bus. All the adrenaline and energy he exhausted from the day finally took a toll and all Michael wanted was to sleep and wake from this bad dream. That’s what is was. A bad dream where Alex is hurt and Alex wasn’t his…
Michael finally found his voice, “Did you know?” His eyes not leaving the white floor.
Isobel turned to Max as if asking what she should say. “The truth, Iz.” Michael pressed.
Sighing she replied. “Last week Forrest asked for a favor to get him to be able to use the drive-in for the night.” Michael’s eyes found her blue ones. “Yes, I knew.”
His bottom lip disappeared between his teeth. “I lost him, didn’t I?” He didn’t need to hear a reply to know the answer.
I lost him. For good this time.
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eloarei · 4 years
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tl;dr and TW: I had a miscarriage (and an ER visit)
So, I haven’t been on tumblr for a while. Let’s see how long. ...Three and a half months. Basically, I haven’t been on since a little before I found out I was pregnant.  See, my birthday was January 28th. My last period had started on New Year’s Day, so I was slated to start again on my birthday, and I just kept thinking, “gosh, I would really like to not be on my period on my birthday!”  Well, I got my wish. A few days came and went, and I thought, “okay, I’m pregnant.” This wasn’t an overreaction; I’d never been more than 3 days late in the past few years, and I just... felt it. I took the test, and lo and behold, it was positive. A ‘dye-stealer’, even. (A strong positive, where the positive line ‘steals’ all the dye from the control line.) (I’ve spent a lot of time on pregnancy forums; I’m familiar with a whole new world now.)  I was happy. Mostly excited, mostly not scared. My husband was the same. We’d been married for 12 years with no kids, no prior pregnancies, and I’d thought for a few years that I probably did want kids-- it just... never happened. We were too careful, until we decided not to be. (Even then, we weren’t trying. We just let things do as they would.)  The next 6 weeks were interesting. It was... neat? Neat to feel all the minute changes. Every day I was so aware of my body and what was happening to it. Even though I was almost not showing at all (I could see a slight difference; nobody else would have), I felt so big, and I was exhausted, but it was kind of fun. It was fun thinking about having an October baby; maybe its birthday would end up on my husband’s, or my old bff’s. Maybe it’d be 10-15-20. I thought that would be cool. And I thought about names, about how we’d arrange the house, how we’d afford everything when we have such a habit of just squeaking by. I felt we were up for the challenge.  But I read a lot of information. SO MUCH information. So I knew there was a chance it wouldn’t work out. After all, roughly 1 out of every 4 known pregnancies ends badly. And there was no reason why I should miscarry, when I was healthy, and my family didn’t have a history of common miscarriages. But I wasn’t stupid, and I’ve never been the kind of person to say, “it won’t happen to me”.  I guess I was lucky that I read so much, that I knew things could go wrong, because they did. Even so, I wasn’t entirely prepared. I started bleeding around week 9, so I read an absolute ton about miscarriages. They all said it happened pretty quick-- maybe a few days of light bleeding before the ‘big event’, and that the event itself was painful-- AT LEAST like heavy period cramps. When I continued bleeding for over a week I thought “...maybe it’s not a miscarriage?” I read some more and determined it could have been a subchorionic hemorrhage-- bleeding in the uterus that is usually not fatal to the baby, often characterized by period-like bleeding: long, slow, not very painful.  The whole time I was trying to find a place to get an ultrasound. I don’t/didn’t have a doctor of my own, a primary care physician or an obstetrician. I’ve never really done doctors. Figured I’d wait until about the second trimester to find one, since my readings told me a lot of doctors waited til week 10+ for the first appointment anyway. Unfortunately, all the clinics I talked to wouldn’t deal with me when I mentioned I had some bleeding-- even though it was just a little bit! Less than a period. “Go to the ER”, they said, to which I responded that I absolutely was not going to go to the ER for a non-emergency when hospitals were stuffed with coronavirus patients.  Therefore, I just waited while I kept looking, hoping it would sort itself out.  In a way, it eventually did. Monday morning, as I was about to go to sleep (I work nights), I had some slightly heavier bleeding. Thought it might have been another small clot. Sat on the toilet for an hour before I felt woozy and decided to lay in the tub before I passed out. Thank god for my husband, because I don’t know if I would have survived the next several hours without him.  HERE’s the TMI >>>>>>>  I continued bleeding for the next three hours, my husband pouring warm water on me to wash all the little clots away. After a while, I passed a huge clot, size of an egg. Ever done that science experiment where you use vinegar or something to dissolve an egg shell and you’re left with just the innards in a flexible membrane? Well it was like that, but blood. I passed out a little while after that.  ....That’s when I knew things were getting weird. It was my second time passing out ever, and I hated it. I think it’s literally my least favorite thing in the world. 5 seconds that feels like an eternity and it feels like you’re going to die but you can’t explain why. Terrible.  I still thought maybe we could get through this. It didn’t hurt, it was just... well, losing blood. It was within the realm of what I’d read about subchornionic hemorrhage, so I thought maybe that clot was the worst of it. HMM, I was wrong. I passed another one just like it. Then I passed out twice in quick succession, upchucked all over myself (the smell haunts me, ugh), and apparently turned rather blue. So I told him, “hey, it’s time for the ER”.  Boy, that was....... a thing. He called his mom because I said I didn’t want him driving and for me to pass out again when he couldn’t help. I swaddled myself in towels and garbage bags so I wouldn’t bleed all over the damn place, all the while feeling like I might just die at any moment. When we got to the ER, they put me in a wheelchair, asked me some questions I could barely answer, and then took me back.  The next 24 hours consisted of being stabbed, suctioned, and pumped with 5 liters of saline solution which left me smelling weird. I was barely conscious for the first half of it, but talking and joking whenever I could-- because apparently that’s how I deal with stress. Anyone surprised?  Anyway, they quickly confirmed what I knew as soon as I passed more than one ungodly egg-clot: it was a miscarriage. They removed what was left; I didn’t look at it, but my husband said there... wasn’t really much. Nobody did any analyses, so I’m left to surmise that it wouldn’t have been more than 6 weeks (or possibly anembryonic), meaning it was just in there for 5+ weeks by then, doing nothing but accumulating blood. Insult to injury much?  The biggest strangeness of the whole ordeal, the reason why I didn’t expect it was a miscarriage in the first place, was that none of it hurt. Every story I read said it hurt, but this just felt... awkward. I mean, passing out wasn’t fun. Sure as hell didn’t feel comfortable, but I never experienced any pain (except the blood draws; lord did those bruise. Ugh).  The whole thing left me feeling exhausted. It took days before I could do more than toddle around the house. It’s been 2 weeks now, but I still feel a little sick when I think about those fucking clots, or the strangeness of the ER, or passing out 4+ times. I’m hoping I don’t have brain damage, geez. I certainly feel mentally slower than usual, like maybe the pregnancy-brain never went back to normal.  As for what I feel emotionally... it’s... hard to say. I’m sad. Disappointed, annoyed. But mostly I was scared. And that makes me hesitant. I still want a kid. I wanted that kid. But I’ve always been very careful. We always knew the risks and wanted to wait until the right time. The problem is, now... Now I’m more intimately familiar with some of the risks, and I’m a bit afraid it’s going to make me too careful. Will I ever get another chance? Will I ever give myself another chance? I don’t know. I really just don’t.  Mostly though, I am glad to be alive. And while I was more than accepting of the ugly bloated and tired feeling of pregnancy, I’m happy to take the good with the bad now. I hate what I lost, but my body is starting to feel normal again, and... well, that’s nice, I guess.  Anyway... That’s partly why I haven’t been online, and what I’ve been up to since. God I hope you guys have all had nicer, less-eventful years so far. (If you wanna catch up, feel free to message me. The IM feature seems busted on my end, so maybe try sending an ask or something instead.) 
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anerdinallherglory · 5 years
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Approaching Sun (24)
Author’s Note: Surprise! New chapter out much, much earlier than I had anticipated. 10 pages, too. Everyone should thank these reviewers: brenda sianipar, theborutosdadtrashanime, mcornilliac, caroacunas, LIMH, Crystalstarize, and rivercocytus because they have been pretty consistently, if not always, reviewing or commenting on this story. I have been a slow roller with Approaching Sun, especially in taking too long with the whole romantic progression, and there have been several times when I thought it’s just going to take too long to write this properly and I just don’t have that sort of time anymore. So thank you guys, because your support has kept me wanting to finish this story. And to everyone else who takes time out of their day to show their support, I’m doing it for you!
P.S. Sasuke will make an appearance shortly, I promise <3 It’s time for my girl to shine!
Pairing: SasuSaku
Previous Chapters: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23
Chapter 24: Sicknesses
When Sakura spotted Isao slouching tiredly in an olive chair across from the welcoming desk, she almost stumbled in her happiness. Across the room, she offered the boy a friendly expression as he met her direct gaze and he blushed shyly and looked away from her and down at his feet. When she announced his name to come back, the boy nervously rubbed his wrists as he stood and then placed his hands behind his back in a manner of such mature politeness that had Sakura smiling widely at him. As they walked to the exam room, Isao continued rubbing at his wrists and Sakura frowned at the behavior because it was the first time she was seeing him do so.
“Is everything okay, Isao?” Sakura asked, wondering why he was suddenly exhibiting nervousness in her presence. Just like today, Isao had been weary when she saw him last, but this time, his tiredness didn’t hide the anxiety.
“Yes ma’am,” he responded after a second’s hesitation. Sakura had the gut wrenching feeling that everything was notokay. When they entered the assigned room, Mako was waiting for them with the child’s chart; Sakura assumed this meant he wanted to be present for the child’s examination. After checking vitals, she wasted no time before diving into the assessment.
The child was half-asleep by the time she finished checking his blood pressure and Isao snapped awake when she spoke.
“We missed you yesterday, but I am glad that you could make it today.”
To Sakura’s disappointment, Isao only nodded and did not offer up any more information, so Sakura tried a different question. “How have you slept the past couple of nights?”
Isao yawned ironically before saying, “Not good. I’ve had an episode each night.” The boy looked away from Sakura then, embarrassed, as if admitting this truth to her was shameful in some way. Sakura looked more closely at his facial features, noting the dark circles under his eyes. It wasn’t just that he was waking up in the middle of the night; from the looks of those dark eyes and his exhausted state, it seemed he was staying awake throughout the night.
Sakura wanted to immediately send him home to get more rest, but she was afraid that if she did so, she might not get him back to the clinic again. The child was practically falling asleep in the chair across from her and when she asked questions, he’d rub his wrists nervously. She noted how they were starting to chafe now but had been untouched during his last visit. This was a new behavior, which told Sakura that there was a new variable to this sleepless situation.
“Isao,” Sakura asked, casually writing this observation down on a clipboard on the counter beside her, “It says on your record that you had a sleep study done with us. Who did this study?”
“I did,” he replied immediately, “Or, well, my dad did after we were shown how.”
Sakura couldn’t help but look over at Mako who narrowed his eyes too at the child’s words. Isao’s primary care physician hadn’t told them that the sleep study was self-performed. When Mako had finally found Isao’s doctor, the man said that “stress” had been the deciding factor because the sleep study had ruled out other medical factors. Sleep studies were sometimes done this way, but in this particular case, Sakura believed that it was necessary for herto complete another. Maybe removing him from his home for a night would help the child sleep anyway.
“Isao,” she began, already making up her mind about the situation. “Would you like to stay here for the night? We need to do another sleep study in this facility with our doctors.”
The child’s eyes widened, and he gawked at her as if she had just requested him to commit murder. He stumbled over his words as sweat began to bead on his forehead. “I don’t... uh... think so,” he stuttered, “I don’t think that would be… good. My dad,” he began, but then stopped himself instantly.
After a minute of not receiving anything else from him except shaking, Sakura made eye contact with Mako, silently communicating to him her wishes. Sakura wouldn’t force Isao to stay, but she wanted to emphasize the importance of the suggestion. But if Isao was displaying such nervous behavior around her, then perhaps this negative response to the idea was because of her too. She was a foreign ninja after all; maybe there was mistrust there. Isao did mention something about his father. Maybe if Sakura stepped out of the room for a moment, Mako could help him understand. As if reading her thoughts, Mako nodded and Sakura stood to leave.
“I’ll be right back,” she spoke softly. “I’ll give you a few minutes to decide while Mako-san finishes up your chart.”
Again, Isao bowed without a word. He only continued to rub his wrists and tap his foot. Sakura frowned to herself and exited.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
A message had been sent to Isao’s absent father after Mako was able to convince Isao that an overnight stay was in his best interest. Mako had informed her that the child had been anxious at first for unknown reasons, but Mako had explained to the adolescent that Isao would barely see them during the night; they just wanted to re-check his heartrate, blood pressure, and breathing while he slept. When insured with a good night’s sleep, the child finally conceded.
Sakura had Mako write down everything during the conversation, so she could look at it on her own later. The child was definitely stressed, but Sakura couldn’t yet pinpoint why. Maybe these notes would help her put some puzzle pieces together.
In the meantime, she prepared a room for Isao in the children’s clinic. Sakura had helped pick the design for these rooms. She had explained to Gaara and the other head medics that it would be best to have quarters that didn’t look like the exam rooms in the hospital. Children were often afraid of hospitals, so Sakura described that these apartments should be made to look like common Sunagakure living spaces that these children were used to seeing frequently. It was always best to help kids feel like they weren’t in a medical facility. When the decision was unanimously in favor of this idea, Gaara had ordered it to be so and had toys and book shelves brought in. They decorated these rooms as calmly as they were able: flowers in a large windowsill, white curtains and matching bedspread, a Sunagakure rope rug on the floor, and small pastel paintings of the village on the walls. Besides the newly invented machinery in the corner needed for medical purposes, the rooms were relaxing and varied slightly depending on age.
Isao’s room, one of the bedchambers for young adolescents, had books with legends and entertaining stories instead of small toys; even in the Leaf, Sakura wanted the spaces to be free from historical documents or anything else that might trigger an emotional disturbance due to the warring past. Sakura wanted children to feel like regular kids when they were here, because most of the time, it was the shinobi life that was affecting them in some way.
Sakura believed this might be true for Isao as well. The child of 11 was beginning to pursue being a ninja here in Sunagakure. Maybe it was this change that was causing Isao anxiety. If his mother had died in the war, maybe he associated her death with the ninja way of life; perhaps his father pushed him toward this goal. This was all speculation of course, but Sakura didn’t have much to go on here; she hoped she’d learn more during Isao’s stay.
Mako had escorted Isao to his room and told him to make himself at home. When Sakura had brought him dinner, the nervous behavior began again so she set the tray down and departed quickly with a kind smile.
“He’s cautious of me, I think,” she told Mako after making her way down the two stories of stairs and back into the reception lobby.
Mako looked up from his work at the tall, ivory counter with an expression of worry. “No miss, I’m sure it’s just nerves.”
Sakura leaned over the counter next to him and reached for a small jug of water that had been given to her at the beginning of the day. She took a long drink of refreshing water before replying dejectedly, “He only displays that jumpy behavior when I’m near.”
Mako started to shake his head, but Sakura waved a hand in dismissal. She knew Mako was just trying to reassure her. The entire staff treated her as if she were a miracle worker and Mako didn’t want her upset while she was working with them. Perhaps he was afraid that she might not return again after she departed Sunagakure, or maybe it was because she was a guest of the Kazekage’s. Or, she thought again, he just genuinely liked her and didn’t want her to feel out of place here.
“I have a suspicion that it might be because I’m not from this village,” she announced, tapping her fingers on the counter in thought. “Do we know anything about his family? Their sentiments towards other villages or outsiders? Anything about his mom?”
“I will look into it immediately, Miss,” Mako replied, and then with a comforting beam, announced, “I am certain that the boy will warm up to you soon.”
Sakura wanted to tell him he wasn’t being much help while trying to spare her feelings, but she only grinned back in return as he worked.
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This was day three in Sunagakure, and Sakura’s routine was still rather busy. After dinner, Isao sat up in bed trying to read a book despite how tired he was. Mako stopped by in the hours between sunset and nightfall, making sure the machinery was functioning properly in preparation for his sleep. From what Sakura was witnessing in the brief check-ins she was conducting on the youth, he appeared to be much like a toddler that was fighting sleep. Sakura sent Mako in before seven o’clock with some hot tea that Sakura hoped would soothe the boy. He wouldn’t drink it, but the pink-haired medic refused to try the sleeping concoction she had made for Isao. She didn’t want to try anything new until after the study was completed; using it now would hurt their efforts instead of helping because they needed to observe his typical sleep habits, however bad they may be.
While Sakura waited for Isao to fall asleep, she worked with the machine expert to monitor the data that was being sent to a very large box that took up an entire wall in the observation room. The device was printing out various numbers on ivory pieces of paper that the machine was spitting at her feet. All these numbers were telling Sakura what she needed to know about Isao’s sleep such as his sleep stages, body and eye movements, oxygen levels, and breathing rate. Mako was by her side throughout the entire process and collected and organized the papers for her while she evaluated some new information Mako had gathered for her.
Mako had investigated Isao’s family through sources in the village and Sakura went over his hand-written notes after he had explained them to her. Both Isao’s father and mother, Tokoro Souta and Tokoro Rina, were shinobi in the last war. Souta, Isao’s father, had been injured during the war but had made a recovery. Rina, on the other hand, had been one of the many that had lost their lives in the war. Sakura wracked her brain desperately for any recognition of the name. If the Sand kunoichi had been sent to Sakura in the war to be healed, wouldn’t Sakura have seen her? Or for that matter, if Souta had been healed, perhaps Sakura had treated him in the war. Both of the names were unfamiliar to her; Sakura had helped thousands of patients in the war.
The longer that Isao fought his sleep, the more concerned Sakura became. It was almost like he was afraid to sleep; didn’t want to sleep. Maybe he had lied to her about dreaming during the night terrors. Perhaps he did in fact have nightmares that he didn’t want to face. Nightmares of his mother? Something else?
Sakura decided that the child needed to be reassured considering that he might be fearful, and so she made the two-story climb and knocked lightly on his door. Mako had insisted on coming with her, but she asked him to stay behind to evaluate any data her interaction with him might reveal.
“Isao?” she called softly, “Do you mind if I come in?”
“No ma’am, please come in.” Sakura recognized the hitch in his voice and resolved herself to be patient and kind to this confused child who treated her with such uneasiness.
“Isao,” she began, pouring him a cup of tea from the kettle that he had yet to touch, “we cannot help you if you refuse to sleep. Why are you frightened?”
Without a second of hesitation, the child asked, “Is my dad here?”
“No,” she responded calmly despite being taken aback by this question. “He is not.”
“Does he know that I am here?” he asked immediately after her response.
Sakura couldn’t help but tilt her head at his concern and answer honestly, “We sent him a notice that said you were going to stay with us tonight. He hasn’t responded.”
Isao began rubbing his wrists again, and whispered, “He won’t like that I am here.”
“What do you mean?” Sakura inquired quickly, worried that he might shut down at any moment.
“He won’t like that I am in a hospital. It means that I am being ‘weak.’”
Sakura’s motherly instincts kicked in at this confession, and she couldn’t help but reach towards him. She felt foolish the moment she did so, because Isao pulled back from her in terror and flinched as if she might do him harm.
Raising her hands in front of her in apology, Sakura did something that she recurrently did in circumstances like this. Instead of leaning towards him in a chair, she adopted a spot on the floor, a tactic to make her appear less threatening and more humble. Frequently, when people are anxious, having someone stand over them or talk down to them—even if that person is being humane—causes more involuntary stress for the individual. It was a basic, inherent instinct that many people weren’t even aware was in play. Touching or any sort of physical contact would also not work for comfort. When Sakura witnessed children have negative reactions to certain behaviors, it was often safe to conclude that they were reacting negatively because they were recognizing the pattern of behavior that lead up to the treatment they were often used to receiving. Sakura realized that Isao must have often dealt with someone of authority standing over him and possibly engaging in bodily contact. This meant that in order to reach him, Sakura would have to do the exact opposite of that.
She crossed her legs, leaned her back against the side of his bed, and broke eye contact. She yawned and took a drink from the glass of tea that she had offered to him. She could feel the shock radiating off of Isao at her unusual behavior, and so she decided to address his confession and wait for him to make the first moves of opening up.
“You know Isao,” Sakura began, taking another calming sip of tea, “There are many sicknesses. Sicknesses of the body and many sicknesses of the psyche, or a person’s mind. And it certainly doesn’t mean that you are weak.”
“Really?” he murmured tiredly in question at the back of her head.
“Actually, it means the opposite,” she continued, “It means that life has dealt you something that others do not have to struggle with and that battle makes you stronger. You are having to fight every day against something that many people are free of.”
There was a small silence before Sakura recognized the clinking of the teapot behind her. Sakura smiled as she heard Isao finally reached for the kettle at his bedside and poured himself a cup of the steaming liquid. He reached over her shoulder for her cup too, refilling it to the brim before handing it back to her.
When he readjusted himself on the bed, Isao sat with his back against the headboard and admitted, “You remind me of my mom. Before she died, she was compassionate like you. And knew a lot about things.”
Sakura briefly made eye contact again, just long enough to show him her sympathy, and then looked back into her tea as she replied to that statement with: “I am sorry that your mother died in the war. She must have been a very brave woman.”
“She was,” he confirmed after taking a very long drink of tea and leaning his head back against the headboard.
Sakura took her chance to say something else before the effects of the tea took its course on his body; he was so very tired, and it wouldn’t take much of the hot beverage to lull him into a doze. “Just like sicknesses of the body,” she began, “sicknesses of the mind are sometimes caused by something. Our bodies fight against viruses, against things that it has been exposed to.”
In her peripheral vision to her right, Sakura could see him nod in understanding. She continued. “We want to help you, Isao. But to beat a sickness, we have to figure out what it was caused by.”
Sakura paused, but there was no answer. She kept her head down as she asked calmly, “Do you know what’s making you have these terrors? What is making you sick, Isao?”
She waited a long a minute, a very long minute. Sakura almost thought that the boy had fallen asleep. When the kunoichi rotated her back to look at him, she realized that she was mistaken. There were silent tears sinking down his cheeks and a few of them dribbled into his half-empty cup. Through his shaking sobs, the boy choked out the words: “My father.”
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Sakura was able to get the rest of the information out of Isao before he slipped weepily into slumber. The child hadn’t rested in two days. His father had punished Isao for going to the hospital on his own for his night terrors by keeping him awake. Souta had articulated to Isao that if he reallywanted to be cured, then he just wouldn’t sleep at all and had forced the child to stand awake the previous two nights. It was why Isao hadn’t arrived at his appointment yesterday; he hadn’t wanted to make his father angrier. The child had changed his mind this morning, it seemed.
Isao had also confessed to her that his father hated Leaf Shinobi. This particular detail explained why the 11 year old had displayed concerning conduct when she was near. Before she parted from the room, Isao said, “My father believes that the last war was Konoha’s fault. If the Kazekage hadn’t been so close with the ninja called Naruto, then Sunagakure wouldn’t have gotten involved and Lord Gaara wouldn’t have played as big of a part as he did. He blames the Leaf for mother’s death.”
Everything was beginning to make sense to Sakura now. Everything except the night terrors themselves. If Isao believed that his father was making him sick, then in what way? Obviously, his father was the stressor in his life, but the unjust discipline that Isao received was after the night terrors began. Sakura supposed that it didn’t really matter in regard to finding the cause; however, in order to develop a treatment, she would need more information.
The last thing Isao confessed before slipping into sleep, was that, “When he finds out, my father will come to get me. He knows about you and that you are a Leaf medic. You must not let him see you Miss, or my punishment will be worse.”
Over my dead body, Sakura thought to herself. She wanted to offer this man a piece of her damn mind. She wanted to give him a thrashing that he deserved for treating his son in such a beastly way. But Sakura had to remind herself that it wouldn’t be uncommon for resentment to exist after the war, especially concerning lost loved ones. Oh, she’d be ready when he came. He would either have to talk to her—or fight her if he tried to penalize Isao for seeking medical attention. It was time for peace to begin for everyone: children and adults.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Sakura had stayed up all night to conduct Isao’s sleep study. The terror had happened early on and witnessing the episode broke Sakura’s heart. There was no dreaming that occurred according to the data; the attack happened in NREM sleep where dreaming did not occur. Isao had not been lying about not recalling dreams. Mako had insisted that they let the night terror run its course, so they could have the most complete data, but after 10 minutes of non-stop screaming and thrashing, Sakura concluded that it had been long enough for their purposes.
When she finally woke him, Isao clung to her and sobbed afterwards, questioning her repeatedly “What’s wrong with me? What’s wrong with me?” and Sakura had rocked him back and forth, whispering soothingly that nothing was wrong with him and she would figure this all out; she would make the terrors stop.
Sakura realized after she positioned him back down on the bed and secured the blanket around him, that perhaps he was always punished for these episodes after they happened and never got any real sleep. Sakura decided to sit next to him on the floor for the rest of the night, holding his hand as he fell back asleep. The night terror didn’t come back.
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When she woke the next morning before sunrise, Kankuro was crouching down in front of her grin`ing. Mako peered down at her too, standing just behind Kankuro’s shoulder. Sakura realized that she must have fallen asleep here on the rug beside Isao’s bed. The child’s arm hung off the bed, his fingers brushing the rug where Sakura’s own hand had been. They had held hands with each other and had let go at some point in the night as Sakura, too, had fallen asleep.
Kankuro was whispering something to her, obviously not wanting to rouse Isao too. When he offered her his hand, Sakura took it appreciatively, allowing the puppet-master to raise her onto her feet. When the door was closed behind them, Mako passed a mug of Sunagakure coffee to Kankuro, who in turn, fit it snug in-between Sakura’s sleepy palms as if he had done so a thousand times.
“You really do over-do it don’t you?” Kankuro probed entertainingly, tossing her a laugh over his shoulder as they made their way down the stairs to the lobby. One of the female medics—a well-mannered young girl named Hisa that reminded Sakura of her own apprentice Kirai—fetched the kunoichi a chair.
After she planted herself onto the stool with another yawn, she groggily explained to Kankuro what she had been up to recently and even articulated to him everything she had learned about Isao. This included the treatment he was receiving at home and his father’s sentiments towards Konoha. Kankuro frowned, clearly forming a mental picture of the man described.
“The man you speak of was sent on a mission just yesterday,” Kankuro informed her, “I’ll let the Kazekage know what you have found out about this situation. He might not be able to change that man’s opinions about the Leaf, but he certainly won’t tolerate abuse. In the meantime, let’s keep the boy here until his father returns.”
“Yes, sir,” Sakura promised him, somewhat hopeful for the boy’s future. At least something would be done about this.
Kankuro crossed his arms as he turned to lean his back against the counter beside her. “I came to tell you that I am being dispatched on a mission of my own just outside of the village. I’ll be gone for a couple of days and wanted to make sure that you would be okay here without an escort.”
“Oh,” Sakura started, “I’ll be fine. I’m in my element here.”
“I can see that,” he replied in kind, standing and making for the exit. “We cannot tell you how thankful we are for the role you have played in our facilities.”
Sakura smiled in response but then scowled when Kankuro placed a hand on Mako’s shoulder and proclaimed, “I’m passing duty on to you. Make sure she rests please.”
Sakura wanted to say, “hold on just a minute” but the words couldn’t come out before Mako bowed with a “Sir!” and Kankuro left with a slight wave.
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Sakura spent the day checking on Isao. It seemed that the child needed to catch up on a lot of sleep apparently, because at noon, he was still out of it. Sakura didn’t dare wake him. If he was in deep sleep, Sakura would not disturb that since the REM sleep cycle was free from terrors.
Isao had been right about his father, because at around four o’clock, Satou made his intense appearance. Mako had been updating Isao’s chart while Sakura demonstrated how to create gelatin capsules and pack them with herbs to create “prescriptions” that patients could take home. Sakura had packed twenty-four pods with powdered chamomile, valerian root, and magnesium, all of which would help Isao sleep and hopefully help the boy pass on to REM sleep more quickly; maybe they could try it while Isao was staying at the clinic, so she could observe the medicine’s direct effects for herself.
Just as she finished labeling the prescription bottle, Satou slammed open the doors of the children’s mental health clinic. Seeing Hisa first, Satou growled and made a beeline for her, shouting, “WHERE IS MY SON?”
Hisa, the youngest staff member of the clinic, gaped up at the man in astonishment as he bellowed down at her. Sakura had always been respectful and polite when talking to her elders and had wished that when she did finally encounter Satou, she would be able to receive the man with some civility. But witnessing him charge in with the same mannerisms she had been envisioning him using with Isao, made something in the kunoichi snap. Sakura was usually the calm and collected one in situations like this, but when it came to children, inner-Sakura sometimes took the stage. Sensing this shift in attitude, Mako instinctively placed himself in front of Sakura, but Sakura scooted him out of her way and yelled back, “If you’ve got a problem, you take it up with me!”
When Satou revolved his head in her direction, a glower permanently stitched to his face, and stomped his way over to her, Sakura bared her teeth in response. What a bully! How could such a mature, kind-hearted child come from such a terrible person? Sakura tried to get a grip by reminding herself that this man too had been affected by the war. Maybe things had been different before the death of his wife. Maybe he used to be a loving father to his son and a caring husband to Rina.
Or maybe not, Sakura thought as he came to stand over her, steam practically coming out of his nostrils and curling across the planes of her cheeks. Sakura squared her shoulders and glared back at him with equal venom, saying nothing with words but with body language alone. Sakura had faced giants; had defeated foe after foe in the Fourth Shinobi World War and had even stared into the eyes of Kaguya herself; she sure as hell wasn’t afraid of him. Sakura would be damned if she let this man past her and up the stairs to where Isao slept.
She noted suddenly how Mako and the other staff stood around them in a semi-circle, ubale to be anything but spectators as the two ninja narrowed their eyes at one another. Sakura wouldn’t be harassed by him here. How could she ever expect Isao to stand up to this jerk, if she didn’t model that now?
“Sir,” she bit out between teeth, “I suggest you have a seat, so we can talk.”
A big meaty finger jabbed her in the chest, hard enough to bruise, but Sakura didn’t flinch. The fury and hatred in Satou’s voice rang in her ears as he snarled, “I want my son back NOW, and I’m not going to talk to a Leaf Village bitch about it either.”
Sakura was tempted to break the man’s fingers that dug sharply into her chest. She could feel the chakra vibrating beneath her skin in response to her own emotions, but she tried to stay level-headed; she really did, but her inner-self was cursing in rage at this sort of disrespect. Thankfully, Sakura didn’t have to teach him a lesson because someone else broke his fingers for her.
Blinding sand abruptly encased the man’s fingers that were jabbing into Sakura’s collar bone. The crack was the sound that precluded Satou’s blood-curdling scream at the sudden unexpected pain of his joints being popped out of place. The brute of a ninja fell to his knees in pain.
Sakura spun to see Gaara, the Kazekage dressed in all his regalia, standing in the entrance of the clinic, his voice unusually calm despite the wrath that flashed in his eyes. “Touch her again,” he drawled in that raspy voice of his, “and you’ll have more than your fingers to worry about.”
“Lord Kazekage,” Satou hissed out through his pain. “This woman--she took my son--”
“From my report,” Gaara interrupted collectedly, “your son came here on his own looking for medical attention.”
Satou regained himself and stood up straight despite still holding his injured hand. He started to say something, but the Kazekage spoke again. “Sakura, Sunagakure’s honored guest, was generous enough to treat your son personally and has gone above and beyond for him. The only thing you should be doing is thanking her.”
But Satou did not thank Sakura. He glared at her instead, a look of more malice than he had shown her a second ago.  
Sakura expected the refusal to enrage Gaara; it certainly would have made Naruto fuming mad. Naruto would have twisted his face up and pointed a finger Satou’s face with impractical threats. But like many kage, Gaara was wise and had quickly checked his emotions, reigning with calm again in this situation. Sakura knew the type of Kazekage that Gaara was. He certainly wouldn’t allow Satou to treat her with insult (that’s what the broken fingers were for), but he didn’t have to use fear to govern his people or keep them in order. Gaara had proven himself over and over again to the citizens of Sunagakure and they loved him for his sacrifices and devotion. They also knew of his unmatched power and skill, and as a whole, respected him as their leader.
Even though Isao had told her about Satou’s particular feelings toward the Kazekage, Satou did not hesitate to obey when the Kazekage ordered, “Have a seat like she asked, Satou. We need to talk.”
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Survey #243
honestly too lazy to think up random song lyrics here, so just have the survey.
What is the one thing you remember most about January of last year? Nothing. You look at the clock and it’s 11:11, do you wish? I never do, no. How do you think you will look 3 years from now? I pray the fuck to god I'm finally at a weight I want. And of course more tattoos and piercings. And colored hair. What would be number one on your bucket list? Meet, thank, and hug Mark profusely while ugly crying. How old do you think you’ll be when you make your will? I don't know. You get a text message. who do you hope it is? Sara. Are there any songs that you hear that just make you wanna dance? Not really, no. Do you get any of your songs from Limewire? lol how old is this... but no. I did when it was "the thing," though. You and your best friend get in a fight. Why do you think that is? I don't know. Probably said something that came across wrong over a text. What is your biggest annoyance at the time? Financial shit. You see the person you fell hardest for. What do you do? Apologize to him if he's even okay with me speaking a word to him and then letting him on his way because I don't want to make him think I'm still stuck on him. I'd wanna know how things are in his life, but I don't want him to get the wrong impression. It'd be better for both of us. Have/are you depressed? I mean I'm diagnosed with depression, but it's well-managed. At the moment I'm not *depressed*, no. Did you grow up in the United States? Yeah. Never left it, even. Do you call anybody "baby"? Besides my cat and snake, no. Who is the one person you can completely be yourself around? Sara. Are your pop-ups blocked on your computer? Yeah. Do you wear earrings on a normal basis? No. How old were you when you realized that life goes on? I don't know... This is such a vague question. But I guess probably when a childhood cat disappeared or died sometime in elementary school. Are your parent’s night owls or morning birds? Well, I don't live with Dad, but Mom is a night owl more than a morning bird for sure. She can be so grouchy in the morning. Do you like to sing? Eh. Who is your favorite author? *shrugs* I don't read enough. How many pillows are on your bed? Two. What’s your favorite thing about the holidays? Seeing my niece and nephew so excited. What is your favorite type of cake? Red velvet, baby. How many rings do you wear on a day-to-day basis? One. Have you ever been in a mental hospital as a patient? Multiple times. Probably WOULDN'T have been multiple if the psych hospitals here were worth a damn. Went to the same one like five-six times and one other and both sucked. It was a partial hospitalization program, WHICH ISN'T AS "SERIOUS" AS AN ACTUAL FUCKING PSYCH HOSPITALIZATION, that saved my ass. What’s your favorite brand of flavored water? None. Have you ever had an ulcer? No. Do you take birth control pills? Not anymore, no. I was only on them for serious period pain, but as of recently my psychiatrist wanted to test out how I do mood-wise without them, especially as it was a regular occurrence for me to be borderline or actually suicidal the day before my cycle started, and the whole week leading up to it was sketchy. So far, I've been fine - I think even better. I was on it for years, and I mean your body changes, so. Do you like soy sauce? Noooooo no no no. Do you have a good doctor? My psychiatrist is literally the reason I'm alive. That's no exaggeration. I would've killed myself by now if it wasn't for him setting my medicine right. I know I would've. My therapist is great, and my primary physician is fine. What’s your favorite store to browse around? Morph Market, ahaha. I love looking at all the reptile morphs, especially the ball pythons. Do you ever meditate on Scripture? No. Do you like poetry? Yes. Do you have expensive tastes? Nah. What is your favorite color? Pink, particularly lighter hues. Have you ever made a scrapbook? Yeah, for a little while when I was younger. What is a question you get asked too much? If my lip piercing hurt. It doesn't bother me, I'm just asked it most. Worst grade you’ve ever gotten? Zeros on things I didn't do/missed. Who are your 3 closest friends? Sara, Girt, and uh... Chelsea, I think. Maybe Lisa. What is something you have always wanted to do? Travel somewhere cool/really memorable. What are you listening to? A playthrough of The Last Guardian. God, I wanna play it so badly. Do you like the smell of cinnamon? It's one of my favorites, omg. Are you in a relationship? No. Do you like the band Hollywood Undead? Yeah. Do you like Taco Bell? Only the quesadillas, THE CINNABON DELIGHT THINGS, and fiesta potatoes. Who was the first person you spoke to today? My mom. Who was the last? I was just texting the woman who adopted Kaiju; she's catching me up on how she's doing, and apparently great! We're trying to plan a day for me to come see her. :> Have you told anyone you loved them today? Yeah. What song is stuck in your head right now? You mentioned HU, now "Bullet" is looping in my head lol. Does it snow where you live? Sometimes, but rarely a lot. What are you currently sitting/laying on? My bed. Have you ever dated a friend of one of your siblings? No. How old is your oldest living grandparent? 80-something. Do you wear contacts? No, I wear glasses, but I wish I could do contacts again considering I desperately want an undereye microdermal but it'd look stupid with glasses, so. Contacts just annoy me. Where are the last three places you went? Taco Bell, my doctor's appointment, and the gas station. Do you ever go hunting/fishing? I would never in my life hunt, and I don't even want to fish anymore. Both are cruel (hunting more than "cruel"...) imo. I'd only ever fish again if Dad asked me to go with him, because since I was a kid, that's always been our "thing," our bonding experience. I wouldn't be able to say no. Do you know anyone who is a nurse? A lot, actually. Would you prefer to own a lapdog or a bigger dog? Sigh. Didn't think I'd want a dog after Teddy, but as of very recently, I've found myself missing the companionship of one. I don't know if I'll end up with another, though, but if I do, I'd want a medium-sized one, like Teddy was. Are you more of a cat person? Yes. What is your worst subject? Math. Do you know anyone who plays guitar? Yeah. Do you play guitar? Not anymore. Have you had to have stitches at all in the last year? No. Have you ever stayed up all night and then gone to work in the morning? No. That sounds like hell. How many relationships have you been in so far this year? It's a week into January lmao. No. Do you prefer to be single or with someone? With someone. Though now that I am single, I kinda think that's for the better right now...? Eh idk. Do you have any tattoos? Yeah. Are you planning on getting any? Oh, plenty. My Mark tribute is getting tidied up by a great artist on the 4th next month and I CANNOT contain my excitement. Did you lose your virginity before you were sixteen? No. Have you ever dated someone who had a child? No, and I never would. What are the middle names of everyone in your family? Wow yeah, lemme share that on the Internet. Where did you go the last time you took a vacation? The beach. Would you ever consider adoption? I don't want kids so like, Who is someone you aspire to be like? Man, there's a lot of people who inspire me in different ways. I think the world knows I look up to the wisdom, determination, dedication, creativity, compassion, etc. etc. etc. of Mark, I adore the heart and empathy of Shane Dawson, Steve Irwin is my absolute idol in terms of passion for animals, and Jeffree Star's work ethic is like, unbelievable. There are plenty others, but those really stand out. How do you feel about your life right now? oof What is your favorite game show to watch? Family Feud with Steve Harvey. He is so fuckin funny. How good are you in trivia games? What’s your best category? Idk. I'm probably best with animal knowledge though, judging from games I've played along with. Would you much rather test your knowledge or share opinions? I guess it depends on the subject and with whom. How do you feel about word games? Fun. Who is your absolute favorite film director? TIM BURTON. THERE IS NO COMPETITION W/ HIM. When’s the last time had to cover a coworker’s shift? Never. Have you ever had a really unreliable coworker? I've never worked long enough to know. Have you ever had to have a ring resized? No. What is a question you would never ever ask somebody? "I would never ask someone what they weigh." <<< This. I'm not a doctor, so I don't see any situation where that'd be an appropriate question to ask anyone. What sounds like a rude word but really isn’t? I'm sure there's something, but idk rn. Have you ever made a blanket? If so, how did you make one? No. How many godparents do you have? Do they care about you? Zero, I think. What is something that should not exist? Rape. Is there a word you have an emotional connection to? It sounds weird I'm sure, but "petrichor" (the smell of the earth after it rains) makes me feel... weird. Nostalgic, anxious, melancholy. Shortly before becoming a couple, Jason and I were just outside at school while it was raining, and we wondered what that smell was called. When we went back to the computer lab (where we were after exams were done), we looked it up and found out "petrichor" was the term. I remember those days too clearly for them to have happened eight years ago. How about a sound? Any emotional connection to a sound? Ummm not that I can think of. Is there something coming up that you are dreading? Not really, no. Do you ever read graphic novels? No. What is the most ridiculous product you have ever seen? Oh idk. Are there any spiders in your home right now? I mean realistically, probably? None that I know of. What was the last thing that made you laugh hysterically? I can't remember exactly what it was, but something on YouTube. I think on Game Grumps. Are there any candy stores where you live? Not that I'm aware of. Do you own any fingerless gloves? Yeah, I still have them in my drawer, actually. I wore them every day in high school. Tell me about the last animal you touched. My cat Roman. :') Have you ever witnessed a birth? Only cats. Can you see your reflection from where you are sitting? No. Wait, yes I can, though only slightly. My snake's cage is just across the room, so I can see against the glass a bit. Quick! Sniff the air. What can you smell? Cat. .-. Have you ever been in a restroom that actually had a restroom attendant? No? What was the last photo you took of? A deer! There were like, seven or eight in the field just across the road a few evenings ago. My lens didn't go out as close as I'd want, but I took some as practice anyway. I only got a few shots though; I came out to the front porch, and after about a minute, they gradually went back into the woods. What do you look for in a mate? Physically and personality-wise. Am I the only one who hates when human couples are referred to as "mates"???? Idk man it shouldn't because we're just animals, but it's weird. ANYWAY, I don't have like, a concrete vision of a partner, but I do have some set-in-stone personality/moral alignments that are musts, such as just being a generally good person, empathetic, you must love animals or shoo, be in touch with their emotions, understanding, soft stuff like that. I also have a strong preference for having a good sense of humor, I lean more romantically towards outgoing people, you gotta be laid-back and approachable... that kind of stuff. Physically, I really, really don't care, but I think we all have preferences; ex., while it really doesn't matter to me ultimately, I tend to find longer hair on guys more attractive than short. Your thoughts on bacon? Ugh, I wish I didn't love it. I wanna be a vegetarian again so badly. What are your thoughts on little kids with cell phones? If they're of an age where they may be separated from their parents semi-regularly and without the constant presence of a guardian, I'm actually for them having *simple* cellphones. Emergencies exist, and even I, someone who doesn't even want kids, would be scared knowing my child is without an easy, quick method of contact with me. Now, remember I did say "simple" cellphones; I don't believe a little kid should grow up unhealthily attached to technology (like me lmao), so especially in developmental years, I wouldn't want my kid to be glued to their phone playing games or roaming the Internet too freely. What was the last lie you told? I'm not sure. Is there anyone in particular you always try to tune out? Ugh, yes. For political bullshit that I cannot stand hearing. Do you work out? No. What was the last thing you ate with a spoon?  Uhhhh probably oatmeal. What is a food that you always are in the mood to eat? Ice cream lmao. Ever held a newborn animal? Yeah. Is there anything you’re in denial about? What? Maybe, idk. Have you ever been to a Chinatown? No. Do you prefer chunky or creamy peanut butter? CREAMY. Don't come near me with chunky pb. Do you stop to pick up heads-up pennies? No. Do you make a wish when you blow out your birthday candles? Yeah, even though I don't believe it does anything. It's just for the novelty of it. Do your pets have collars? Describe them: Bentley just has a blue, average collar. Roman doesn't because he absolutely hates them. What is the last thing you searched for online? Surveys. Do you use any scented lotions? What do they smell like? No. Do you have any friends that speak any languages you don’t understand? I mean yeah, Spanish is common in America.
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Number One Keto: https://www.marketwatch.com/press-release/number-one-keto-reviews-number-one-keto-important-news-reported-by-researched-review-2020-03-27
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gremlinsae · 5 years
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My Story + Current Situation
I don't know how to begin this post. To be honest, what I'm about to tell y'all may not help me out in any way other than giving me an outlet to vent. Fair warning, this is going to be a long post and I may ramble a bit but I'll add a tldr; at the end. 
Sigh.
Let me start from the beginning.
My name is Stacey. I turn 25 years old on April 24th, 2019.
My story begins when I was 19 years old - a freshman at my local university. I was finishing up my first year of my undergraduate program in Biology, aiming to get a Masters or PhD in Genetics. I had many accomplishments; I was awarded a scholarship because of my GPA, a group project I was a part of won 1st place in a writing competition because our independent research paper was the best, and I was just living life and working on my future. I had to take the bus everywhere, I was moving around a lot, and I was working out regularly at my university's gym. One day, as I'm walking to the bus stop, it felt like my right hip popped out of place and then slammed back in. 
At the time, it was a minor inconvenience. It hurt, yes, but it mostly just left me sore and it went away with some rest so I didn't think much about it. 
I started questioning it more when it happened again over summer break. I was at a friend's house playing D&D when I felt an acute grinding sensation in my right hip joint as I stood up to get me a soda. This time, the pain was significantly worse - sharp and it took longer to go away. I started thinking that I was developing arthritis as my dad also got it young. 
It took a while to happen again...but when it did, it got to a point where I couldn't ignore it at all.
I had picked up a seasonal job at Macy's. My first day on the sale's floor was Thanksgiving night going into Black Friday. We were understaffed and it was hell, but I made it through my shift which ended at 2:00 AM. A co-worker came to me and asked if I could pick up her shift the following morning and I took it because I wanted to work. On Black Friday, I started feeling that grinding sensation in my hip again but I worked through it - blowing it off as simple arthritis. I believed rest would help.
That following Saturday, I had another 8 hour shift but this time it was in juniors which was the busiest area. I was moving around a lot, had to bend over to pick things up off the floor, and I'm not even going to get into the mess left in the dressing rooms. Towards the end of my shift, I was limping. The grinding sensation only got worse and suddenly my hip was locked up. I could barely move and when I did I experienced sharp intense pain. I left an hour early because I could no longer do my job. I thought maybe I just picked up too many hours, so I decided to take the rest of the weekend to rest.
But the pain didn't go away with rest. I was in pain for 2 weeks straight, hardly able to walk, before I finally went to see a doctor. I limped my way to the university health center and scheduled an appointment. The lady who saw me performed a simple hip exam. I wasn't able to walk much, so she mostly checked my hip flexion. Off the bat, I knew that I had lost some range of motion as we could barely bring my knee to my chest without pain. The fun part happened as she was guiding my leg back down.
My femoral head caught on my hip bone. It was audible, and yes it hurt.
She had a look of shock as she said, "You are way too young for this." 
I was prescribed diclofenac for the inflammation and cyclobenzaprine (flexeril) to relax my muscles and help me sleep through the pain. That same night, my mom took me to the ER and I had a x-ray done on my hip. The radiologist said that there was a slight chance I had femoroacetabular impingement (FAI) (in layman's terms: the bones are misshapen) on both hips, but would need more imaging to truly determine a diagnosis. I was prescribed hydrocodone (vicodin) for about a week to try and manage the pain until I could get insurance and see a specialist. 
That's where the fun part started.
Since I turned 19 that year, I was no longer covered under CHIPS Medicaid. I applied again, but was told that I do not qualify because I didn't have any children.
Yeah...you read that right. The state of Texas does not extend benefits to anyone over 19 without children. 
My only choice was a county program that helps low income people get medications and treatment so they can get back to work. I wasn't able to apply until months later (a combination of not having my own transportation, busy schedules, and my mom trying to convince me that I would be denied.)
I was 20 years old when I finally found a doctor (we'll call him Dr. D) that could help me figure out what was going on in my hip joint. He took it seriously - performed another hip exam and ordered several lab tests. We checked everything under the sun: cancer, rheumatoid arthritis, lupus, etc. He got me on physical therapy, changed out my diclofenac to meloxicam (mobic), ordered me an MRI, and referred me to an orthopedic specialist to determine how we needed to move forward.
The MRI I had was without contrast. The result was greater trochanter bursitis, or inflammation of the bursa which are sacs filled with synovial fluid that help cushion joint movement. 
When I saw the specialist in November of 2014, the chronic bursitis was the sign that something was definitely wrong with my hip. I was only 20 years old with no traumatic injury. Chronic bursitis is not common in someone that young, so he ordered me an MRI with contrast so that they could have better imaging of my joint. My husband's grandparents paid the $932 to get it done in December and it was honestly one of the worst things I had ever gone through. When they injected the dye into my hip, the numbing agent didn't work and it hit a nerve HARD and my entire body convulsed. They injected more of the numbing agent, but that also didn't work so again my entire body convulsed as they tried to get the dye in. The third time worked because they decided to give me a stronger numbing agent...but it messed my hip up. I walked funny for three days.
When I finally saw the specialist again about the results (several months later because of an issue with scheduling), not only did I have bursitis but they also confirmed that I had cam type FAI (layman's terms: the deformity is on the femoral head) and a 9mm labral tear. 
Since the condition was causing joint damage, the answer was surgery.
I was sent back to my primary care physician's office, but unfortunately Dr. D wasn't available so I saw a different doctor. (This may seem irrelevant, but it is actually very important.) I told her EXACTLY what the specialist told me, which was that I needed to get sent to San Antonio or Galveston in order to get treatment. 
The referral was denied.
I was assigned a new doctor. We'll call him Dr. S. He told me about the denial when I had asked about it during an appointment for a different issue. I remember crying because I had no idea what to do. I was only 21 years old - I didn't know how to navigate the medical system! Plus, I was very very broke. I won't go into too much detail, but I was forced to move out of my parent's because my dad is irresponsible and I was put in a massive amount of credit card debt because my own mother stole my identity and I ended up having to pay the bill for it because my mom was diagnosed with cancer and couldn't work anymore. 
(This is only surface level by the way. The last 5-6 years have been absolute hell.)
That summer I was working two jobs. I had a GoFundMe page and I was just trying to save up enough money to possibly get me on an insurance plan to cover the surgery. I came home every night limping and crying, my husband having to half carry me and help me get into a hot bath just to try and bring the pain down enough so that I could do it all again the next day. School was rough as well and my grades were dropping.
I was destroying my body so much that it got to a point where I could no longer do my job as a sale's associate at Macy's. My managers were amazing and they did everything they could to help accommodate me, but it got to a point where I was unable to finish shifts due to pain and I was calling out often. I was running low on my attendance credits and I didn't want to be fired for absenteeism. 
I go back to see Dr. S and I tell him I really need something, anything. What I was doing wasn't getting me anywhere and my condition was getting worse due to the progressive joint damage. He didn't really know what to do...saying things like "I can' believe they denied you - the whole point of the program is to help people get their treatment and yet they're denying you." I told him I had heard something about an orthopedic program at one of the hospitals in network and he put in a request for me to see one of their surgeons. 
I never got a response.
At the time, I really couldn't pursue the issue - I changed from a sale's associate to a wedding gift registry advisor at Macy's. It was a desk job which really helped keep my hip under control, but the problem was that my hours were reduced and I had no way of picking up more like I did with my previous position. I was having to donate plasma so often just to have food money that I actually have a permanent scar on my left arm.
I loved that job, but it barely paid the bills. I took a semester off of school so I could focus on working and babysitting my nephew due to a family emergency. Thankfully my in-laws paid me. Even though it was something I would have done for free, it really helped out.
But then Macy's had a huge company layoff in January 2017...and I was affected. The position I had was being removed from my local store, so I was without a job. My depression took a big hit and it almost ruined my relationship with my husband. I wasn't taking care of myself, I wasn't doing my responsibilities that were required for my unemployment benefits and my insurance, and I basically became extremely dependent on my husband to a point that our relationship became unhealthy. It took a while to get me out of that rut. I started applying for jobs and I ended up getting hired by Aflac around the end of April, but I had to get my driver's license before I could be officially on board.
I understand that the above may not seem relevant, but...that summer was when things got even worse.
I wasn't able to get my license in time to take the position, but that was only a part of the issue. In July, I was helping my husband's business at a convention when I had one of the worst flares I've ever had. I had twisted the wrong way, causing my femur to catch on my hip bone, and I ended up on the floor in fetal position.
At best, the pain felt like I was being stabbed with an ice pick. At worst, it felt like every tiny movement I made was splintering my hip bone. The splintering sensation I had felt before, but not to this degree. My hip was locked and it felt like I was stuck in a vice. On the pain scale, I was around a 9. It was unbearable. I ended up in the ER where the only thing they could do was give me a shot and a prescription for Tylenol 3 (acetaminophen + codeine) to help me get through it...
Neither the shot or the medicine worked. While my hip was unlocked, I was still experiencing sharp pain that was so deep in my hip bone that none of the medications touched it.
It hurt...it hurt intensely and consistently. 
It got to a point where I had to borrow flexeril and tramadolfrom someone while I was trying to renew my insurance. Yes, I'm aware that this is illegal - but I was out of flexeril and the meloxicam wasn't working so we were trying to get me through the MULTIPLE flares I was having even when I didn't do anything to aggravate my hip. The end of 2017 was exhausting for multiple reasons.
Once I got back on the county program, I had an appointment scheduled with a new doctor (we'll call her Dr. P) because Dr. S was no longer working in network. 
The week of my appointment...was really rough. We had to put our dog down at 2 years old because he had severe chylothorax and we didn't have the money or the means to seek treatment (plus it was so severe that seeking treatment could have killed him.) A few days later, Hurricane Harvey hit and my area was badly affected. My appointment had to be rescheduled. 
I saw several different doctors in the following months because Dr. P never had an opening available. I ended up needing a wheelchair to get around because my standing/walking limit was drastically reduced. I'm lucky to be able to stand for 10-15 minutes now compared to the 1.5 - 2 hours it used to be. I tried to apply for medicaid again, but was denied and advised to try and apply for disability. I didn't have enough credits to apply through social security so I found an attorney and just gave it a shot. However, I got a rejection letter for representation due to the information that they received from my doctor's office.
I start questioning things at this point. What did they tell the disability attorney? We knew I needed surgery and that my condition was getting worse. What could my doctor have told the attorney that resulted in a denial?
I didn't see Dr. P until May of 2018 and apparently, she had no record of my diagnosis and my need for surgery. The only imaging she could find on file was my very first MRI (without contrast) and so she was under the impression that the only issue was mild inflammation in my right hip. 
I was pissed.
I ended up having to redo the entire process. I see the very same specialist again and he didn't remember me. I had to get another MRI done and he requested an x-ray right before my appointment, but he never went over the results with me. He basically told me I need to "put up with it" and ordered me a fluoroscopy guided injection. 
I get the injection in October and literally minutes afterward I start crying because of how overwhelmed I was at no longer being in pain. To give y'all an idea, chronic pain isn't always intense pain 24/7. For me, it feels like my hip is constantly bruised. I usually hover around a 2-3 on the pain scale and the more I move the higher it gets. IT IS EXHAUSTING. To finally feel "normal" again was so overwhelming for me that I was a sobbing mess as we walked back to the car. 
That week I was so happy. My mental health immediately improved. I was able to walk around, go up and down stairs, even go on a camping trip with my ecology class and go hiking! All these things that I wanted to do I could finally do again with only minimal and MANAGEABLE pain. I still took it easy, but I was finally able to enjoy my life again.
...
The following Monday, a week after the injection, I woke up in severe pain. I had felt the familiar twinge the night before, resulting in an anxiety attack because of the fear my hip pain was returning...and unfortunately my fear came true. The injection normally lasts a few months...for me, it lasted one week. 
I go see the specialist for the follow up appointment regarding the injection. He seemed kind of confused, saying things like "At least now we know the problem is your hip." I was beyond frustrated because WE KNEW FOR YEARS THE PROBLEM WAS MY HIP. He wasn't listening to me! He even asked me if he had talked about surgery the last time I saw him and I told him YES. So to wrap up the appointment, he gives me a half-assed hip exam and requests that my PCP put in a referral for orthopedic surgery...again. My depression hits its lowest point. I even contemplated suicide and had to start therapy. Overall, I was not in a good place.
I don't hear anything about the referral for months so I call and they tell me there are no orthopedic surgeons at the moment. So I make another appointment but this time I see a different doctor that we will call Dr. I because she was the one who put in the request for the referral. She was amazing! She listened to me, didn't interrupt me, and she worked to make sure we got details regarding any hold ups so I wasn't left in the dark. She even performed a standard hip exam on me to measure how bad my hip got. Anyway, she finds out that yes - everyone with the clinic card does not currently have an orthopedic surgeon because the contract with the previous one ended and was not being renewed. She encouraged me to keep calling, at least once at month, to check on the status of their hiring. 
My first call was in February of 2019 and not only was I told that there still wasn't any orthopedic surgeons...the county had also decided to no longer cover hip surgery as of this year. 
I was LIVID.
I made an appointment with Dr. P and was seen literally the next day because I was DONE. We gathered all the info we could to prove to them that I had been seeking treatment for years. She listened and she took me seriously. She put in a new referral that aimed to get me a one time approval, ordered physical therapy, and referred me back to the specialist so we could get this done. She also prescribed me gabapentin to help me out with some of the nerve pain I was experiencing because as of the end of 2018, my hip pain was causing issues with my knee. As of 2019, my ankle and foot started being affected as well. She theorized it was due to nerve damage and so she put a note on my referral for it to get done ASAP.
Which brings us to the present. I went to physical therapy and it caused me to flare up...repeatedly. I ended up having to resign from my job (that I only had for a month) because my absences were atrocious and I was constantly having to update my accommodations just so we can attempt to have my absenteeism reduced. (In the end, I had to chose between voluntarily resigning and be eligible for rehire in 30 days or risk being terminated and not being eligible for 3 years.) My last physical therapy appointment was Friday, April 12th because during my exercises my femur caught on my hip bone and caused a severe flare. The physical therapist put a stop on my therapy until after I saw the specialist because it was only causing me more trauma. 
Today, April 17th, I saw the specialist and we finally figured out why I never received the treatment I needed. To reiterate, we are on year 5since I first got on the county aid and started seeking help from them.
It turns out, all of my referrals were done incorrectly.
I was being referred to the local orthopedic department which can not do the procedure I need. On top of that, the specialist was trying to order me an arthroscopy for DIAGNOSTIC purposes - not an arthroscopic surgery. Somewhere in the mix there was massive miscommunication and things were not being documented correctly. My PCPs had no idea how to handle my case so it ended up being mishandled entirely.
Essentially, the specialist brought in someone from an internal department and they are now taking over my case because this is grounds for a class action law suit and they want to avoid that at all costs. She explained to me where the block happened and that they were no longer going through my primary care physician for referrals because it would risk continued miscommunication.
They admitted that the fault was on them. I understand why this happened because the hospital I go through is in a major transitional phase and they've been tearing down the trauma center and relocating, building new clinics, updating, etc. I even told her and the specialist that I am not mad at any one person, that I do understand - but they have to understand that I was a victim of this. I experienced YEARS of suffering that affected my physical and mental health, my education, and my ability to work. My condition has devolved to a point it never should have and it may have permanent life altering repercussions. My surgery may go from a simple fix to needing a replacement which would result in at least 2 more replacements later on in my life since they do have an expiration date and I am only 24 going on 25.
TLDR; because of the transitional state my hospital is in plus the fact that I was jumping between multiple doctors, there was miscommunication regarding the treatment for my FAI and it led to my referrals being done incorrectly...and I suffered for it. I am now waiting on a referral that will send me up to San Antonio where they will be taking arthroscopic images of my hip joint so that we can further determine how to proceed with treatment. I may pursue legal action, but ultimately I just want something done so I can get on with my life.
⬇️
So why am I posting all of this information here?
Because of the fact that I am now out of a job again, plus everything that I had explained above, I am opening up EMERGENCY commissions. We have bills to pay and we also need to be able to pay for this trip to San Antonio and unfortunately, my husband (who is currently employed by my previous employer, go figure) is not making enough to keep us afloat. We are in the red and will not make it through May at this point so we are already working on selling some extra stuff and getting ready to make some major sacrifices. 
I mostly write Victuuri but am willing to discuss other pairings. If you have any questions regarding what I will or will not write, just shoot me a message on twitter and we can discuss it. 
Commissions will be pay what you want - no minimum. I'll literally take anything at this point. I know my writing can be a bit inconsistent so I don't feel right setting a price. Here's the link to my ko-fi page.
All I ask is to please understand if the commission takes a while to get out. I have real life things to take care of and sometimes my medicine makes it hard for me to stare at my computer screen. Just trust that I will get it done. 
I'm currently working on a piece for hentipie. I'm hoping to have it out this weekend so prepare to see that soon! It won't be posted here due to the rating though, so you'll have to look for it on AO3.
Anyway, for those of you who took the time to read this ridiculous chunk of text, thank you. If you can't help me out financially that is perfectly fine. I know and understand the struggle so don't feel bad by my sob story. I just needed to get this out.
Talk to y'all again soon! <3
-Sae
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Christmas Eve Night, 2016- St. Anthony and the Donkey Statue at the Franciscan Shrine of St. Anthony. 
My Shrine of Solitude- The Place of Miracles....An Angelic Voice In Jeopardy. 
Since my last post worked so well on trying to find a link of Padre Pio and Sunflowers [insert eye roll], I am for, who knows why, attempting to do this, again. As I said the first time, I don’t know how to do this site. Maybe this is not for asking, maybe people can’t help? I don’t know, but I’ve got to do something!  
I may appear pious and prayerful, but I am not. I am in a rush to try and just start Christmas shopping, make mass, get in Confessions, pray, to pray and pray for my beloved friend, for her health and conversion.With so little time, little sleep, wanting to give up, I can’t. And I know it’s all up to Jesus, but I have to pray, that’s all I can do. And I get mad because more problems happen that I suddenly don’t know about, I lash out at someone because I am trying to fix it and am exhausted, have gotten no where, so I have to go make amends, and back to the confessional I go. But this woman who means the world to so many in the world that was diaganosed out of the blue with stage 4 pancreatic cancer, on the day of historic terror- September 11. Or, as I will know call it, “The Day My World Went Purple (that’s the awareness color for pancreatic cancer).”. I did not know what a pancreas even was before I learned of her diagnosis, which came at the worst time, not that any time would be appropriate. But, I mean I was going through it, really, and a week before an ending that I thought would end torture (that was only just beginning, which I’ve had to separate from and give to Jesus for my friend, but ultimately for myself), is when I find out this woman, who was  my first co-worker in my first “real-world” job out of college, along with her sister. 
To make a long story short (as this isn’t on this topic and I tend to write lengthy these days that makes no sense as I’m up all night doing or praying, and not getting anywhere!), after getting a B.A. degree in Sociology, otherwise known as “pessimism”, but with a concern for the social welfare of others- to the extreme (blame Mitch Albom and Tuesday’s with Morrie, I wanted to be him, I wanted what he had, and I did get it, except a love of sports, ability to play piano, the ability to write like him and the ability to make a difference despite any efforts without going nuts), I naively, and perhaps even with pride, thought I would have people knocking on my door to offer me a position now that I had a degree. I had worked in politics in college, learned fundraising, campaign lingo, legislative initiatives, drafting various correspondence, etc., as that was what I originally was going to get into- I wanted to be an adopted Kennedy, only I don’t have the jaw line. And while our politics are not the same, while I am much more Catholic than I was at first, though always was an elephant due to our Governor at the time, but the job I was at never asked and I never told!  And truthfully, I was in the middle, happily like Switzerland. But, I pathetically thought with that experience, in a recession, unlike any we had ever faced, I would have to do nothing. And then, once Obama was elected, and the country was happy, and then the excitement wore off, I was still at home. Then came looking for a job, and looking. Then desperation and depression. Until, I finally, after almost 2 years stumbled upon what seemed perfect- an advocacy like job working with those with intellectual disabilities, running a department where I’d write funding plans and and speak up for benefits these individuals needed. NOPE! Not it. My first day on the job, along with 2 others,  was the first of a 6 week orientation where I met the Director of Nursing, who came in, took out a bowl, a Tupperware of cereal, and milk and ate her breakfast, as she had been on duty all night, while explaining that we had to have our Med Tech Certification since we would be working in the building with those with intellectual disabilities and be on an on-call rotation, so we needed it “just in case.” I thought she was absolutely insane- and I had just received a message on my phone about another job (when I had heard nothing for 2 years, and desperately needed to call these people back!). But, I stayed, and on about the 2nd or 3rd day of her training she took us to the building down the street, and introduced myself, the new residential coordinator and one of the young girls that would be working in the Day Program to this laid back, tall blonde, who was the Day Program Coordinator, whose name, was “Woody.” And again, I thought, I need to leave. But, that was a nickname...from childhood, as it turns out they were sisters, and the Day Program Coordinator was rather new herself. After the training, which I didn’t know I needed any of that and still am scarred from it, and cannot look at a grapefruit without thinking of an enema (don’t ask!), I got to work. My position was a coordinator that ran what one would think was easy- a department for those that had mild intellectual disabilities, could live on their own with mentor hours, or staff I supervised that gave a few hours a week to take one grocery shopping, running errands to keeping them occupied. Or, it also meant, children, those under 21, living at home in the care of their parents, who were still getting special education services at school. But, it wasn’t that simple. 10-15% of my time was writing funding plans which I loved! There were other issues, most staff was out on leave due to babies or family leave. But the clients, as mild as their intellectual disability was, all the more was their mental illness. I have a deep sympathy and empathy for anyone with a mood disorder and that is a cause I will advocate for, as I, too, have one. I started antidepressants that November, after waiting so long and arguing to not want to take them. I then needed anti-anxiety meds, and I’ve been on them ever since. The job was a nightmare, I saw horrors no one should see, or experience. And I had no choice but to quit. If it was not for the woman whose office was next door, I would never have made it through any day of the week. She had a grace about her. And the crazy sister, well, they both are crazy, but they were the most normal in a place that wasn’t operating things correctly. The Director of Nursing, because she knew what went on and with whom and what was right called the higher ups, always in another building out on their violations, and was wrongfully demoted and she left. I followed suit, but it took gusto to get out, because the guilt to leave the clients was the worst. They were a handful, in my department, they could have killed me with kindness, with heartache, with a sharp tongue to a shovel, but I loved them. And 2 weeks before I was to depart, giving 4 weeks as a supervisor, one had to be admitted to the psychiatric hospital and I requested to extend that 2 more weeks, to make sure that client that really wore me down, to drinking a bottle of vodka every night, was okay. It was granted, and she was okay. And I left, but not a week later I ended up in the hospital for my first suicide attempt.
It is NOT the job that did it, while yes it played a part, I was a depressed person. The idea of leaving to go sit at home and apply for jobs didn’t sit well with me, or the idea of another additional medication, as it made it seem like I failed everything. But you find out things quickly when moments like that happen, who cares and who doesn’t. Who are your friends, and who are not. When the world walked away, when there was not a soul in sight, it was my co-worker, turned friend, turned family, who plopped herself down and didn’t leave. Annoying as that was. It was her, that was there in my darkest, and not my only one, moment. And as if that wasn’t enough, after family a brutal, and mandatory, though I was an adult, meeting, when you have lovely and wonderful parents who just don’t get it, but promise a stress free home, no annoyances, and some rest, the day of discharge, your Mom finds out after a bunch of negative tests, that she does in fact have a very rare form, one that only 1% of the population gets, of Breast Cancer. So, while my Mom’s health is certainly important, all those promises- out the window. But, the ones to keep them, as well as care for my Mom, make sure she had answers on medicines after a mastectomy to anything she needed, while making sure I got out of the house for weekends away to the beach or “Girls’ Night” was my family- the two crazy sisters. And when I needed a primary doctor, my next door office co-worker turned beloved friend, convinced the most popular doctor to accept me when she could no longer take on new patients, it was who her and her sister went to, who we sadly are losing, as of 12/31 because while young and top-rated, it’s too much paperwork and too many rules on how a physician can treat a patient. And that was a project, I should have been able to fix, but I didn’t have time, not with my sick friend and praying and deaths to all these other disasters. My appointment was last Monday, and it was AWFUL. See, I’ve gone on too long, this is never going to work- but no one can describe this beautiful soul and everything she has been through. That’s not her story, not in the least. And pancreatic cancer, I’ve done the research, I’ve joined the groups and it’s awful. No advances, the statistics are crazy, the median survival rate for stage 4, well look that up, I can’t. And all she can get is chemo, because her cancer is on the tail, she cannot get something called a whipple, she cannot get radiation, she can just get chemo. And it’s already spread, to her kidneys, and lymph nodes (if that’s how you spell?) And that’s all I will say, as this wasn’t meant to be on here, but, you know, this is about St. Anthony and his miraculous intercession, so if someone is inclined, here is a link to a GoFundMe page for her medical expenses, that I am not responsible for making up, the credit belongs to someone else. And prayers always work, too. I’m maxed out, financially, not prayer wise, but God gives us all we need, so I have to give that worry up, too.   Until then, I will be getting healed and forgiving and seeking forgiveness as quickly as I can, from the code of one of the greatest mystics of our time. For more on the mystic, you’d have to read my first post, and if you do know the link on sunflowers and Padre Pio, please by all means, as that’s for another friend. 
But, the real meaning behind this post was because, years ago, after this work situation, after being a binge drinker and crashing into a table one night before a family wedding, my oldest cousin who was getting married for the 2nd time after having a baby with her now husband and having recovered from drug addiction. It was not that reason for what was going to be the cause of lots of complaining from judgmental and opinionated, maternal aunts, mostly just two, who I can only pray for, but that it was a bi-racial wedding. Which doesn’t make any sense, at all. I really had scared my parents. And it wasn’t just the wedding, my Mom was still dealing with cancer, well recovery now (Thanks to God!), with one more surgery to go. And I had no job. Our family goes way back with a walking saint, a prison chaplain, a minister to the homeless and one who has literally nothing- he gives everything away to others. When my Mom and her family met him, he was a seminarian, assigned to their family church across the street. So, he performs everything,from weddings, to baptisms of all the grandchildren. Now, its weddings of grandchildren and baptisms of great-grandchildren. The last thing he presided over for our family was this past June, my grandmothers funeral. But, he also helped those in our family in moments of crisis, an aunt (a judgmental one), the cousin whose wedding he presided and that night as he went to leave I knew I needed help, and he gave me his number. It took being drunk to call him and a couple weeks, but I did. And I owe him my life (side note: because I’ve been up all night, trying to type this and figure what to say, I just remember, he gave me his favorite prayer, because I’m such a worrier. I have it in my old wallet, as he will be a saint, but it was his favorite! And, I don’t recall what it was, but it was a St. Anthony one...I will have to go find it now to see, how odd, yet, not).
And who he has brought in it, including a woman, a convert who was an atheist who became pious, way more than a girl educated in the Catholic School Systems her whole life that took me randomly one day to a festival, a celebration honoring St. Anthony of Padua’s Feast Day, in which I went to humor her. But, my gosh I fell in love! And that became my new home, my sanctuary, my resting place. I love all the friars, I love the grounds and it is truly a place of miracles. You can’t belong to a shrine, but I go regularly, a two hour drive because it’s my church family. And I could go on about so many wonderful, miraculous things that happened. But, I can easily tell you my first miracle, it was hearing the voice of, what do you call it, a lector, music minister? Most churches have okay music, though I’ve found exceptional ones in the last few years! Exceptional! And it makes a big difference. If you’re in the states and go to Steubenville Conferences, the Franciscan University, how can one not appreciate Bob Rice, or Dr. Bob Rice, as he is known now? If the speaker list doesn’t entice you, his music will! But, at this place, there was the heavenly woman who stood up with a guitar and belted out songs...and I had never heard anything like it. And that is why I bothered returning. She’s more than that...her resume is remarkable. I think she can play anything! She teaches music, she is a dialect coach, she gets involved in producing plays, or the actors, to being in shows herself. I have a special name for her, which I won’t say, as everyone know’s that’s what I call her.  So, if someone did get on here, they couldn’t know it was me posting, as I don’t know if this is supposed to be out of the bag, or what. But, I bought her CD’s, and I finally had to look her up and I sent her an e-mail to let her know just how phenomenal she was. It’s funny how the world of computers work, nowadays we have to worry about cyber bullying, but when I was young and computers were first starting to get into people’s home, with dial-up, I met one of my dearest friends that way. I had a love for musical theatre from my Grandmother, who took me to my first live show, Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat, but had me watching classics when I was a toddler from My Fair Lady to Camelot. In middle school, while watching an Andrew Lloyd Weber Special, I fell head over heels for a UK singer, tracked him down as nothing was available in the states, joined a fan club, some mailing list that was too overwhelming to check and had to order everything overseas. Then one random day, I learn that very singer, the one whose head was imprinted on my pillow sheet, was coming to the states, and to my state and some woman got me in to the Public Television pledge thing, with the next day, this woman who was sending all these messages from the mailing list contacted me, an energetic woman from WA state who held get togethers in NYC every year for American fans, but come to find out she was my grandmothers age! But, it didn’t matter, because she loved what I did, and we began to e-mail multiple times a day and would mail each other playbills and when she got the chance she’d call on a special Sunday she was headed to Seattle to see a how (when cell phones costs extra to call half way across the country). She became one of my best friends. And my parents, as skeptical as they are, were in complete agreement to go to the gathering that following August in NYC, along with my grandmother, to celebrate our favorite singer, see shows, meet up with actors she supported-particularly one young man who I still support to this day in her honor and because he has talent and be friends, be present to one another in person. And the years that followed. Until she passed away, Valentine’s Day, 2005- which was fitting, as if anyone departed on a day of love, it would have been her. I took it not so well, didn’t listen to anything, didn’t want to see shows at the theatre, etc., until the angelic voice at the friary. She brought back the gift of music, and now look, as you’ll see post above (which that is much shorter than this turned out, so answer if you have a slight clue where to find the info, please!), while I’m no singer, or I don’t play a guitar, I now have another friend who wrote a musical that is brilliant, I’m helping as best I can to promote and market that and she is the one I knew to go to for direction on anything! And, I pledge a loyalty to this amazing talent, to do whatever I  can, though I don’t know yet what that is, as so much is being dumped on...and yes, selfishly, I need her music, especially now, too. 
Things change, I get that. Friars leave on new assignments, but some you cannot part with. One friar, I keep track of, though he doesn’t communicate through e-mail or computer and he is serving in a Spanish parish. We called him Padre Pio II. But he always has a place in my heart. And, this summer, a blow came when the Director, who as long as I’ve known about the friary, has been there, announced a big promotion- meaning he was leaving his post, though his new residence was just down the street, he’d be traveling. And that was hard to swallow, but I did. And he’s come back, and I keep tabs on where he’s at. A new director came in, and I grew to like him, was impressed by him, then went to a seminar, mini-retreat and did not like him, did not like his answers and refused to return. But I apologized, I did a Holy Hour and I did my best to make amends as he does do things that seem special, even humble. And I misunderstood the message, especially at the time I’m going through, it was not the time to go to such a lecture/teaching when you have a sick friend. And he was off the list, but in finally getting to this angelic voice and e-mailing her as she should be out there more, she’s super talented! I casually said something about her meeting with the new director and sarcastically said I hope this doesn’t mean you’re cut back any...but she is going to be. In a tiny chapel, this director, who has already brought changes that I don’t know if people do or do not like, depends on if they are a “regular” or a “pilgrim,” he wants to fit in an organ and a choir because it’s his dream. The faithful friar is young, and has well-meaning wishes, ambitious and wonderful ideas, tremendous devotions and even more than that to offer. But, if it isn’t broke, don’t fix it. And if it is his dream, not the dream of the others who buy her records in the gift shop, who cry at the staple song she sings on Good Friday, to thanking her after a mass she’s played at- how can he be shepherding a flock through his dream, and not through the message of the faithful Franciscan, St. Anthony?  This is someone who gives hope and peace, plus comfort, not to mention stories of Jesus from her own written songs to those who flock to the sacred shrine. This is more than just my first miracle of the shrine, this is the friary experience!
I am not sure on miracles today, I’m doubting Thomas, I’m the lost sheep, I’m the Prodigal son. But, I know this beloved shrine is in part beloved because of this woman’s music, and her heart. And in somehow trying to think how to link all this together, actually I believe I can, all of it, even the story on my sick friend. A homily I will never forget happened on one feast day celebration for St. Anthony, by my dear friar now somewhere else, who I said we called Padre Pio II. In saying, the importance of St. Anthony and what he meant, he told those in the church that whenever a problem arose, “Go to Anthony.” Because in his work, he was not just a Franciscan, teacher, preacher but he became a saint for the lost, a saint of miracles because of companionship. In each story I told, I found companionship, different places, at different times, always in a time of need. St. Anthony, as Padre Pio II said that day, and I’m butchering it, told us we should imagine what it is like to be the great pain, in tremendous suffering, to be at our loneliest and when we did to remember St. Anthony, because he was the ultimate companion, and always, no matter what the problem to remember to “Go to Anthony.”
If, you could pray for a miracle, to St. Anthony, or St. Francis of Assisi, or St. Cecelia (patron of musicians, arts, etc.), please do so, if you have a love of either 3, or for any saint you do have a love for, especially one that is also Franciscan- St. Therese, St. Claire (she’s the patron of TV, and gosh, that’s where this woman needs to be!), to my other saint who I send my guardian angel up to every day lately, Padre Pio. If you wish to support the work of this phenomenal woman, I am anonymous, and you came across her, and you can order a CD, or other product through her website.
If, I don’t know how this will work, but I just gave her website, so you can now tell what St. Anthony’s Shrine is being referred, but if this site works as intended, and I’m relying on St. Anthony and the Holy Spirit. So, with faith, with faith this long message is read, if anyone wishes to write a note, without mentioning the woman who’s site I linked, or that this plan is happening, this post, etc. Well, if you write it, I imagine you know what to do, but it would be addressed to The Shrine of Saint Anthony, c/o Director of the Shrine (you can look up as I can’t put name, first page of website, but don’t use email, that goes to office staff), address (bottom of the page). 
She’s too important to lose...no organ or choir, or fancy thing can replace the love of music, ministry and faith she has in heart. 
“The wisdom of God is reflected in the face of the soul: she will see God as he is, and she will know as she is known.”~St. Anthony of Padua, from Sermons of Saint Anthony of Padua
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I know it’s Advent, and she does have a GREAT Christmas CD, Come to the Stable, but as in the post above, this Good Friday classic, Eyes, gets everyone every time- which is also available through website, on the CD, Love Makes Room. Or, at the very least, though not updated (but I’m trying to help with that when I get the time, hopefully, after Christmas!), subscribe to her YouTube channel! God Bless all who read this!
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My MtF~H.R.T. Journey -- I Finally Have A Primary Transgender Health Physician
     So, after much trial and hope...I finally was approved to see a physician that treats transgender patients.
     This call has been four days late (a fact that I will not easily forget) and required me to advocate for myself once more. That God I have experience with advocating my care as a CF patient...this appointment has been lingering in my head since December of 2018.
     Yesterday, I called Virginia Mason’s Bainbridge Clinic to inquire why no one has called me, when they said that they would call on Monday. I wasted two whole days waiting and wasn’t pleased. Then, yesterday, I called again and was given the run around was left with the feeling that I was not going to be seen as in my 3/27/2019 post
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     As you can see, I wasn’t expecting to see Dr. Worth and was considered option two...
    Today, my day started early as I was up at 7:30am to shower before they might call...but no call came. When the afternoon hour finally arrived, I gave up all hope and considered it a lost cause and left my cellphone in the kitchen as I worked on my families security camera system. I had completely had forgotten about Virginia Mason, Bainbridge Clinic and Dr. Worth...I was even considering it a very bad idea.
     While I was unloading groceries from the car (my mother having arrived home), my father called out to me: “David, your phone is ringing.”
     It was odd, why would my phone be ringing? Who would be calling me? My biological family would never call...reasons why I am allowing the family I am living with, to adopt me...I rush as fast as my lungs will carry me as I frantically search for my phone, expecting it to say my moms name and fearing her conversation as she wasn’t kind the last time we spoke.
     The number was unknown to me, and typically I never answer unknown numbers. It read 206-926-7485 (Seattle). I answered the phone and I answered: “Hello?”
     “May I speak to David...”
     “This is David.” I answer as she quickly replies.
     “Hi, I am called from Dr. Worth’s office regarding you wanting to see her.”
     “Correct.” I state as I expect bad news.
     “She is booked out, we could get you in on April 26, will that work?” she asks as I am shocked as this wasn’t what I was expecting as I need to find my calendar as I have clam digging coming up in April.
     “Can you please hold for a moment as I run upstairs to check my calendar...I have clam digging sessions in April and I don’t want to schedule incorrectly.”
     “Sure.” she says as I run up the stairs, my lungs huffing all the way as I must sound terrible on the other line. I won’t lie, Dr. Worth is not only acquiring a transgender patient, but also a cystic fibrosis patient who only has possibly 2 years left (even though I plan to out live that prediction!)
     In my new room, that my adoptive family set aside for me, I see my tablet sitting on my bed and activate it and pull up my calendar as I hope that the 26th is clear. I see that the space is free and answer. “Yep, the 26th will work.”
     “Would you like to come in at 8 or 11 for a 40 minute slot?” the receptionist asks.
     ‘I won’t need 40 minutes! Maybe 20 since I am a new patient.’ “8am will work.” I state as she acknowledges and has me scheduled for the 26th at 8am. There isn’t any other conversation as she wishes me a good evening and I her a good day. When I think about her words ‘Evening?’ as I look at my watch: 5:40pm ‘Dang...is it that late!’ I stand there for a moment in reflection as I can’t believe that I am actually following the path that I have written last year, here on this platform!
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     The irony is that it will be about three weeks til I can be see at Dr. Worth’s office, however, I did not drive to Bainbridge like I did in my story (even though I considered it deeply). Sadly, as mention in this story, I go by the name Mira, but in reality, I still am forced to go by my legal name of David (even though I am planning to write my transgender name on my records at clinic). To keep up with the story, I should have taken the 11am appointment as that would have closely matched my 12:30pm appointment.
     The story at this point covers my introduction into SRS (which I am deeply considering...including facial reconstruction as my face bothers me the most) and that I have been on HRT for over two years (I’ve been on HRT for 11 months right now).
     With this major step taken to secure my health, I can finally rest easy tonight as I feel that my overall feminine/masculine health can be carefully watched. I will remain optimistic until the appointment and will pray that Dr. Worth is as accepting as I feel she is...I am going at this on faith!
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dailyaudiobible · 3 years
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9/18/2021 DAB Transcript
Isaiah 28:14-30:11, Galatians 3:23-4:31, Psalm 62:1-12, Proverbs 23:19-21
Today is the 18th day of September, welcome to the Daily Audio Bible. I am Brian and it is a joy and a privilege and an honor to be here with you today as we bring another one of our weeks to a close. We have been on the journey through Isaiah, which we will continue to do for a while we’re…we’re kind of approaching the halfway point in the book of Isaiah and we are working our way through the letter to the Galatians in the New Testament which we will continue today. We’ve been reading from the English Standard Version this week, which we will continue to do today. Isaiah chapter 28 verse 14 through 30 verse 11.
Prayer:
Father, we thank You for Your word. Thank You for another week and we've been able to enjoy fellowship with one another in spirit as we move through the Scriptures and pray for each other, fellowship with Your spirit as You plant the seeds of the Scriptures into our hearts, and constant mercy and kindness and patience with us as we continue this journey. This journey of faith that is going somewhere good. So, come Holy Spirit lead us into all truth. We pray in the name of Jesus we ask. Amen.
Announcements:
dailyaudiobible.com is home base, it’s the website, it’s where you find out what's happening around here. I say it every day. Every day there's…there's new…new souls, new voices, new friends, new family visiting for the first time and so welcome, check out the Daily Audio Bible website that’s where you can find out what’s going on around here. If you’re using the app you can find that as well. Check out the Daily Audio Bible Shop there are resources there in a number of different categories. Some of them fun, some things to wear, journals, the Daily Audio Bible journal, things to write with, like the black wing pencils that I use to journal with, resources for reading to take the journey deeper, things to listen to, things to enjoy, music to listen to check out the Daily Audio Bible Shop.
If you want to partner with the Daily Audio Bible then a heartfelt sincere deep gratitude. Thank you, thank you for your partnership. If we weren't a community in this together, we wouldn't be able to be making this journey and so thank you for your partnership. There is a link on the homepage at dailyaudiobible.com. If you’re using the app, you can press the Give button in the upper right-hand corner or the mailing address is P.O. Box 1996 Springhill, Tennessee 37174.
And as always if you have a prayer request or encouragement, you can hit the Hotline button in the app. The little red button at the top it looks like the hotline and so you can press that from wherever you are in the world and share from there or you can dial 877-942-4253.
And that's it for today. I'm Brian and I love you and I'll be waiting for you here tomorrow.
Prayer and Encouragements:
Hi DAB family, this is Jessica from California. Today, I’m calling in from the community prayer for Bonnie from Northern California whose husband died six years ago and mom died two years ago. And she now lives in her mother’s house with her two brothers who, they get along wonderfully. And they’re gonna have a new dynamic in their household because her son is coming to live with them. She said her son battles with anxiety because he’s worried about what’s going on in the world and she, she doesn’t know what to say to him. She wishes her husband was still around because he always had a way to talk to his son. And, I just was feeling your heart Bonnie and the worry for your son. I also have a son who’s nineteen and so I understand the mother-son stuff. And I just wanted to say a prayer for you guys, okay. Dear Heavenly Father, I just come before you with Bonnie Lord, You know the concerns of her heart for her son and Lord, I just pray that You would come to her son and You put peace, a hedge around him with peace and protection of his mind Lord, that he can place all his trust in You about what’s going on in this world today. And that’s what You’re calling us to do Lord, and I hope that him being around his Godly mother that he will feel that peace like he’s never felt before and also, being around the uncles and seeing how well they all get along, he will just fit in like, like he’s been there all along. And maybe this is what he’s been missing, to give him the peace, is to be around his family. So, I just thank You Lord that you have this situation covered. And, Jesus’ name I pray. Amen. Okay, love you Bonnie, take care.
Hi, this is Brenda from Hershey, PA the sweetest place on earth, I’m a first-time caller. I've been listening since April 2017. I am calling for prayer for my dear sweet mom. She is in a nursing home and due to COVID it has just been horrible as far as us being able to see her and be with her. She's in a dementia ward and she knows who we are, but has a horrible time remembering when we’ve spoken to her or if we’ve been to see her and she feels totally abandoned. She is a godly, godly woman. She has…was a pastor's wife for 35 years and loves the Lord dearly, but her mind is not healthy and I'm just asking you to pray that God's angels will surround her and comfort her and I just know when people are praying for her. She will feel God's presence and be comforted and not be so sad all the time. Please pray with me for her name is Nancy and she loves Jesus and I know that she just needs this comfort and ask the Lord to keep the demons away. Thank you, family.
Hello brothers and sisters. I want to go by the name of Anointed and I want prayer please for my husband. First that he, he has received the Lord, but he’s not walking with the Lord and I really want him to have the relationship with the Lord to lean on, but also for his physical state. He served in Desert Storm and he was exposed to chemical weapons and there's other things that have happened but the latest is two years ago he started with a pain on the right side, right kidney side it feels like a kidney stone. The VA has refused to see him saying that the CT does not showing anything. We had a really, really good PCP primary care physician that just retired and she was the one pushing to see other doctors and get second opinions and now we don't have her. He also has the middle of a piece lung is sticking out through ribs, fourth and fifth and that also causes pain. So, for two years he has had this pain, they had him on crazy amounts of painkillers. So, it is not a normal life. He really can't do anything. Please I would love to have a miracle from God and…and for him to have more of a normal life and enjoy the grandkids and just little things every day, but also, it’s important that he has a relationship with the Lord. The Lord reveals himself to my husband's whose name is Ron and he's strength and he’s joyous and Him thank you so much. I’ll being praying for all of you.
He DAB fam, it’s Val in Vegas. Hey, today’s the 15th, I used to call in on the 15th of every month I think I’m gonna go back to that. I really looked forward to it and it was just a cool way to engage with you guys. So, anyhoo, I also have some additional news. I am, tomorrow at 5am which will be the 16th I’m having a bilateral mastectomy. And I need this community. And I know you guys will be there for me. I pray for all people that are dealing with circumstances that are involved around bad health. And I pray for good health and let’s do that. Lord, God, right now I pray for good health. I pray for great health. I pray for excellent health. Not just for me Lord but for everybody listening to this for everyone on this call, Heavenly Father. God I’m thinking right now that Your word says by His stripes I am healed. Lord not only me, everyone, Lord. Dear God, we pray right now that anyone that has any medical procedures Lord, God, that You would just bless the surgeons Lord. Bless any medical provider, Lord, all of them, Heavenly Father, they’ve had such a hard road this last year and a half. Dear God, please look out for our medical workers. In Jesus name, Amen.
Hey, my beautiful DAB fam, this is Kingdom Seeker Daniel. Family, I just want to pray for a couple of our brothers. So, let's all gather around this Global Campfire, let’s hold hands and let’s talk to the Father. Father, I come and lift up two of your sons right now. I want to pray for John O'Connor from South Sudan and Garrett. Lord, I pray that you would minister to John O'Connor son, Steve, John, as he has had a mental lapse Lord, which is caused him to act out in a way that was destructive to his brother’s problem and space. So, Lord, we just ask that You would extend Your hand of healing to this man. God, You know the details and the circumstances of his life. You are well aware about the bipolar diagnosis. We know You are Lord over bipolar and any and all mental health issues and so I pray that You would extend Your hands of healing to this young man. And I pray that You would comfort John O'Connor's heart, his dad and let him know that as he has released his son, he has released him into the greatest hands possible, which is Yours. So, what I thank You for what You’re doing. And then remember Garrett cause he is battling anxiety and worry. Just feeling defeat and not able to get ahead. Lord, would You just strengthen him, build him up and pull him close to your bosom. Lord, and calls are refreshing to take place in his life. Let the peace that surpasses all understanding guard Garrett's heart and mind as well as Steve John in the name of Jesus, we give you praise for what You’re doing in these man’s lives. Amen.
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smoothserg · 3 years
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This is Why Trump Almost Won the Election...Checkout the Revelations From Doctors To American Patients...
1. “But it’s sterile and I like the taste.”
“Nurse here. The number of people I’ve had to tell to not drink or to stop drinking their urine is surprising.” – Dakipa
2. Cleanliness is next to godliness.
“You’re 22 – wash your dick.” – Nickrosis
3. Did you not learn this in 6th grade?
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4. Secondhand idiocy.
“Yes, you smoking in your house is likely making your kid’s asthma worse.” – BruteSquad610
5. Where do I even start?
“A couple instances come to mind.
1) Don’t have sex 6 hours after you delivered a baby.
2) Coffee creamer is not the same as infant formula. Please do not feed your day old newborn International Delight.
3) Probiotics are different from antibiotics. Probiotics do not cure syphilis. – Kaclassen
6. Sometimes, listen to the patients.
“I know you are trying to help but you don’t do CPR on someone who is actively telling you to stop between compressions.” – Cl1mb3r
7. Don’t try this at home kids.
“Jumping from a first floor balcony onto an alfresco dining shade umbrella below will not make you bounce up and down like you are on a trampoline. Instead your 100kg body will simply crash through the fabric onto the footpath below and break both your arms. You will not impress the ladies with this, like you originally intended – and besides, what exactly is a semi-obese man in his forties still doing trying to impress women like that?
(What I actually said to him, which encapsulated all of the above, was ”what part of you thought it was a good idea?”, followed by ”and remind me how old you are again?”).” – OkeyDoke47
8. It’s an ultrasound, not a crystal ball.
“No. I cannot tell the race of your baby on ultrasound. You’ll have to wait until birth to have an awkward conversation with one of your boyfriends.” – sutherbb36
9. Not so fast, are you?
“I was waiting to get my colonoscopy done a couple of years ago and they were asking the lady in the next station if she’d fasted. They went through all the questions and double-checked that she had fasted, then after confirming, almost as an aside she throws in that she had oatmeal for breakfast that morning.
Nurse: Ma’am, fasting means you can’t eat anything before the exam.
Lady: I know. But I always have oatmeal for breakfast.
Nurse: I understand. But you can’t eat before this exam. The doctor has to look at your digestive system.
Lady: But oatmeal is good for digestion.
Nurse: You can’t eat anything before this exam. You have to have completely fasted so he can look at your intestines.
Lady: But I always have oatmeal for breakfast.” – PerilousAli
11. Where do I begin?
“Primary Care Doc here, here’s a few of my favorite things I’ve had to tell patients
Please leave your marijuana/pipe/joint/paraphernalia in your vehicle or at home; don’t bring it to your appointment
You don’t need to bring a hunting knife to your appointment.
No I can’t write you a letter saying your rabbit is a service animal so you can fly it around the country with you for free.
Showing up drunk to an 8am appointment and asking me to prescribe you Xanax doesn’t get you Xanax
I am not qualified to tell you how much masturbation is too much masturbation.
It is not my job to teach your adolescent son about how to get a girlfriend.
Your medicine only works when you take it.
I’m not going to give you my cell phone number
Women are doctors too
No I can’t just remove your gallbladder in the office; I’m also not a surgeon.
You shouldn’t be taking your friend’s/mom’s/grandma’s medication.
You can’t just ‘pull your panties to the side’ for a Pap smear
….and the list goes on and on” – AboveAverageAMA
14. Do you not wipe?
“Old friend of mine is a Nurse Practitioner. She told me she once saw a patient, male, complaining of severe rectal itching and general pain.
She is a very smart people-person, she can read people very well. She got right to the point and asked him about his daily hygiene routine. She had a hunch based off his presentation that he was a “man’s man”…”aint go gay stuff happening here!!!”
Long story short, when showering, he NEVER cleaned his ass. Ever. He told her, that it was “homosexual” to touch his anus.
She had to explain to him that the severe rash and itching he had been dealing with for apparently YEARS was a direct result of his perceived “homo acts.”
She instructed him to go home, take a proper shower, and apply witch hazel for a few days.
Amazing that a grown man thinks this way.” – IT_Chef
16. Maybe that’s why they’re, you know, crying.
“Yes, your babies need to be fed through the night. They are not born eating three meals a day and sleeping 10 hours a night. Please, dear God, wake up and feed them.” – kyelmo
17. Eww.
“I am a clinical lab scientist, and I frequently have to tell patients that I cannot accept their stool samples in tupperware, mugs, food to-go boxes, etc. The worst is when they take the shit-filled mug back home with them cause they don’t want to lose a ‘perfectly good mug.'” – lalalashucks
18. Meth, not even once.
“Usually goes along with after a car accident and their kids weren’t in car seats/seatbelts, how their kids… NEED TO BE IN FUCKING CAR SEATS… But it’s summer so a more seasonal example is the following:
Me- “So whats the problem today?”
Them- “I don’t know what’s going on! I can’t breath! I’m having a seizure!”
Me- “Hmmm.. has this ever happened before?
T- “Yea usually when I smoke crystal meth”
Me- “Did you smoke crystal meth today?”
T- “Yea, like 30 min ago. Why?”
Me- “….” – IronicNihilist
19. So much for the food pyramid.
“This conversation happened once.
Me: Also, you need to eat more fiber.
Guy: Okay, sure.
Me: That means more vegetable during meals. And you can have fruits for dessert.
Guy: Urgh… But I don’t like vegetables.
Me: Yeah, but you gotta eat more of them now.
Guy: No, I don’t eat vegetables.
Me: What do you mean?
Guy: I never eat vegetables. Like, since I was a kid. Never.
Me: Why?
Guy: I don’t like how it tastes.
Me: …..
The guy was in his 30s, severely obese with lots of pimples on his face. His cholesterol was through the roof. And he was having problem with his colon health. He was there with his wife and two kids, too.” – SphmrSlmp
20. Stop wasting my time.
“No, belly button lint is not a reason to go to the emergency room via ambulance.” – stayathmdad
21.
Me: “Did you miss a dose of [insert medicine name here]?” Pt: “No, I take it every day”. Me: “How many times did you not take [previously named medicine] in the past week?” Pt: “Three and I skipped this morning too”.
This happens probably once a week.” – RepublicansRInbreds
22.
“Patient had been referred to my pharmacy by his physician for an OTC enema. The guy was not the sharpest tack, and apparently either his physician did not explain it well or the guy didn’t listen, but our conversation went like this:
Pt.: So I drink down this whole bottle and then I’ll hafta shit?
Me: No sir, this is an enema. It is used rectally.
Pt. (confused): So what’s that mean, I don’t hafta drink the whole thing?
Me: No sir, you’ll lie on your side and insert the applicator tip of the bottle into your rectum and squeeze the contents into you bowel. You’ll then remain lying on your side and hold the enema in until you feel the urge to have a bowel movement.
Pt.: You tellin’ me I gotta stick it up my ass!?
Me: Yes sir, this is an enema and it is used rectally. There are detailed instructions and diagrams in the box.
Pt.: FUCK YOU!
And he stormed off. That was the last I saw of him. Not sure if he thought I was messing with him or what, but I hope he eventually got to shit.” – IbuBROfen
26.
No, your teenaged daughters cannot share a single prescription for birth control pills. — MisplacedApostophie
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30. “Worked in women’s health……so many things but one that always makes me shake my head is a woman telling me that her doctor said if she pees after sex she won’t get pregnant. I had to explain to a grown ass woman who had already given birth three times that your urethra and your cervix are two different holes and peeing after intercourse can help prevent UTIs but not pregnancy. Learn about your body ladies, no one else is going to teach you.” – reddoesntcare
32. You should not be allowed to have sex.
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keywestlou · 4 years
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I AM THE FACE OF ANARCHY
Portland is turning more and more chaotic. Trump’s “gestapo” are being met with a backlash. Not bad yet. However obvious that people will not remain silent for long when being defecated upon by the man sworn to protect them.
Trump is playing the Portland game merely for political glory. Whatever, it can at some point become retaliatory.
Though the protesters have been on Portland streets evenings for more than 50 days, their conduct for the most has been respectable.
Allison Hyder is a Portland resident. She wanted to see up close what was going on. She grabbed a helmet and googles and was off to the demonstration. Her intent to stand in the rear and watch. Nothing more.
Allison is no teenager. She is a grandmother of 5.
In the early hours of tuesday she found herself not in the rear, but up front. Locking arms with other mothers dressed in yellow.
Allison told a reporter, “I am the face of anarchy. The people of the United States need to know that moms, grandmas and nurses are out here in the middle of the night demanding rights for everybody.”
Interesting. Grandmothers, mothers and nurses protesting front line on the streets of Portland.
Pew Research Center recently completed an analysis as to the composition of the Portland protesters. Surprising results.
Only 1 in 6 Black Lives Matter protesters are black.
The percentages speak for themselves. Whites 46 percent, Blacks 17 percent, Hispanics 22 percent, and Asians 8 percent.
Texas coronavirus numbers keep sky rocketing. No end in sight. Hospitals claim they are facing a “tsunami” of patients who will finally overwhelm them.
One doctor said, “Our hospitals look like war zones.”
The numbers tell the story. One thousand deaths in 10 days. As many deaths as occurred in the previous 3 months.
Not good.
No one seems to know what they are doing. Similar in most of the rest of the U.S.
The head public health official for Hidalgo County issued a “shelter-at-home” order monday. Governor Greg Abbot says it’s unenforceable.
Called “working together.”
Trump’s new reality show aired for the first time yesterday at 5. Doubt it will receive any awards. Doubt it will last long.
He read his report. No speaking off the cuff as he enjoys. His report overall not interesting.
There were 3 significant points made.
He changed his position on face masks and social distancing. Finally!
He did not wear one during the broadcast, however.
One of the doctors speaking on a news show afterwards said if Trump had taken that position 3 months ago, there would be 50,000 fewer deaths today.
The final item concerns Jeffrey Epstein’s good friend and procurer who is presently under arrest. A reporter asked about Ghislaine Maxwell. A put Trump on the spot question. He handled it with a smile on his face and his foot in his mouth.
The question was baited. Trump bit hook, line and sinker!
Note Ghislaine is accused of aiding Jefferfy Epstein in the sexual abuse of minors.
Trump’s response, “I just wish her well. I’ve met her numerous times over the years, especially since I lived in Palm Beach and they lived in Palm Beach. I wish her well.”
Dana Milbank in a Washington Post Opinion piece yesterday described Trump’s show as the “Five O’Clock Follies.”
Milbank said the show was dull. Predicted it faced an early cancellation. Not so much because of ratings. Primarily because “the lead actor hates his role.”
This is day 127 of my self-quarantine.
Amazing how many people are self-quarantining also. I have received e-mails from all over the U.S. from people who are doing as I. Most from people 60 and older. A few in their 90’s.
I confess I have cheated 6 times. Out of necessity. Doctor visits and hospital visits for tests. Still in the cycle. I have intentionally failed to share the purported problem. Probably bullshit. Hopefully bullshit.
The 6 visits were quick. I was only out of the house 45 minutes each time.
Yesterday was a doctor visit day.
Let me say in passing I am impressed how most doctor’s offices are handling the coronavirus problem.
My primary care physician is Dr. Norris.
In order to gain entry into his offices, I now press a bell. His door  always locked. A nurse comes out immediately. Takes my temperature while I am standing outside. Then takes me in. Quickly does the blood pressure, etc. routine. Then to an examining room to await the doctor.
No siting in a waiting room first. No one ever in the waiting room these days.
Not what I intended to share with you. Interesting, however.
As I drove down US 1 to Key West, then down North Roosevelt Boulevard, ending up at Dr. Norris’ office on Southard, there was no traffic. Like nothing. Almost zip. Eerie.
Parking places. Whole blocks of them.
Very few people seen walking.
Key West was a “ghost town” yesterday morning. Probably has been for a while and will continue to be for some time to come.
The desolation reminded me of 2 movies. The 1959 film On The Beach with Gregory Peck and Ava Gardener and the 1971 film The Omega Man with Charlton Heston.
Both involved backgrounds where war or some disease had killed most everyone world wide. Only a handful left. Anticipating death or doing everything to avoid it.
In both, the streets were desolate. Empty. Stores and buildings, also.
The Monroe County Commission and the Key West Commission have overall done a good job in dealing with the virus. There have been screw ups, however.
Both have failed as regards lobster mini-season which occurs next week.
Florida is rampant with coronavirus. Miami-Dade and Broward Counties are the worst for the disease in the nation.
Drinking and partying rules stringent in certain instance. Especially as to bars and beaches.
So the people in those counties hop in their cars and drive down to the Keys. Bringing with them, coronavirus. Key Largo has suffered the worst. The first “major” community in the Keys as one drives south.
Mini-lobster season will bring these same party goers back. Most are young.
The Monroe County Commission should have shut down mini-lobster season. Did not. Apparently only the Governor could. He refused.
Rules in this time of major disease are meant to be bent. Just the way it is.
The County Commission should have said no mini-lobster season this year and closed all boat ramps from Key Largo to Key West to everyone, except locals.
Instead, the County Commission closed certain boat rams in the Key Largo area. No where else.
Islamorada is located mid Keys. Islamorada closed their boat ramps before the County even decided what they were going to do. And Islamorada intends to keep the boat ramps shut.
Key West should follow Islamorada’s example. Close down the ramps! Pay no attention to what the Governor or County Commission say in this instance. Key West should do the right thing. Close down the boat ramps and declare no mini-season in Key West.
My plan is appropriate. Key Largo is effectively closed to non-locals. Islamorada likewise. The next major Keys community is Key West. Do the same here.
Those who want to come down for mini-lobstering know they cannot go to Key Largo or Islamorada. Most will say no problem. Let’s go to Key West. The only major partying town left open for mini lobstering and partying! The two go together.
If Key West remains open, I predict that 2-3 weeks thereafter Key West’s coronavirus numbers will go up dramatically.
Some forget lives are more important than money. There are those instances.
Love the William Hackley and May Johnson diaries the Key West Citizen has been running!
I continue to learn.
Two comments received by my blog yesterday involved “Household Words.”
Household Words was an English weekly magazine. It was edited by Charles Dickens in the 1850’s. Household Words’ name was derived from a line in Shakespeare’s Henry V: “Familiar in his mouth on household words.”
Hackley’s diary covers 1855. Hackley frequently mentions he spent an afternoon or some time reading Household Words.
Today’s blog way longer than intended. I got hooked up with the mini-lobster season/coronavirus thing. Everyone’s life has value. I feel strongly that life should be protected.
Enjoy your day!
  I AM THE FACE OF ANARCHY was originally published on Key West Lou
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dailykhaleej · 4 years
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Coronavirus: The trials and triumphs of UAE residents
Trials and triumphs of the COVID-19 fight Picture Credit score: DailyKhaleej
Dubai: The first case of coronavirus within the UAE was introduced on January 29, 2020. That’s round three-and-a-half months in the past. Time flies, you’d ordinarily be inclined to assume. However these are extraordinary instances.
Ever for the reason that beastly virus unfold its ugly tentacles, every little thing we’ve been pondering, saying or doing has revolved round COVID-19. However past the final fatigue that we’re all starting to really feel, there isn’t a denying that life as we all know it – why, even dying – has modified eternally.
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Prayers being carried out for Jeuel G. Jomay in Kerala. The ceremony was watched by his household right here within the UAE on Fb.
Gasping sufferers gone with no goodbye; relations watching funerals of family members on Fb; contaminated {couples} having to depart younger kids within the care of others; tables turning on docs and nurses … COVID’s attempting tales are heart-wrenching.
However the unimaginable trauma however, there are those that are counting their blessings too, whether or not it’s a brand new mum beating the virus together with her just-born; a affected person coming off the ventilator after 20 days; or the UAE’s well being care group clocking file testing charges and its researchers reaching a remedy breakthrough.
A have a look at the trials, tribulations and triumphs of UAE residents for the reason that COVID-19 fight started:
The final trial
It’s dangerous sufficient to lose a cherished one, however not with the ability to bid goodbye takes away even the sense of closure.
THE WAY IT IS
World protocols on heath security, hygiene and social distancing stipulate that coronavirus sufferers should get handled in isolation, and even depart alone.
World protocols on heath security, hygiene and social distancing stipulate that coronavirus sufferers should get handled in isolation, and even depart alone, so one has no selection however to let go.
When Bangladeshi expat Tofail Alam, 51, handed away in Abu Dhabi final week, his spouse Nausheen advised DailyKhaleej her husband went to see a physician at a hospital in March as a result of he had a foul chilly.
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Tofail Alam
“But he was admitted the same day and transferred to a public hospital for treatment. We lost the pillar of our family to the coronavirus pandemic. It is so devastating that I simply have no words.”
A pal who tried to contact Alam in hospital stated, “The calls never went through. So all I could do was ask the nurses about his condition.” Someplace alongside the road, he learnt that the daddy of two was no extra.
Funeral on Fb
Even in non-coronavirus instances, flight suspensions in latest instances have meant that some residents haven’t been in a position to attend funerals of family members in different nations.
Amongst them: A Keralite household within the UAE who watched the funeral of their cancer-stricken son Jeuel G. Jomay, a Grade 10 pupil at a Sharjah college, on Fb on April 16. They might not accompany his physique when it was flown to native Kerala beneath lockdown.
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One from the album: A household image with Jeuel Picture Credit score: Provided
Jeuel’s funeral ceremony again dwelling started at 4am within the UAE. His cousin advised DailyKhaleej her household and Jeuel’s household watched the five-hour ceremony on Fb whereas the St Mary’s Church in Sharjah supplied a hyperlink to the YouTube livestreaming on its web site for members right here to look at the service.
“None of the flights was getting sanctioned soon. Jeuel’s father wanted to fly with him. But that was not possible,” the cousin advised DailyKhaleej on the time.
Equally, on April 17, Dubai-based Pakistani expat Ghulam Mustafa Awan watched the funeral of his father Malik Nazir Ahmad on video. Ahmad had died of a coronary heart and lung situation.
“I tried everything, but I couldn’t go and see the face of my father one last time,” stated Awan.
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I attempted every little thing, however I couldn’t go and see the face of my father one final time.
– Ghulam Mustafa Awan
In each instances, COVID-19-related restrictions prevented their journey.
Double whammy
Telling a younger COVID-19 mom of three that her husband, additionally a coronavirus affected person, has handed on can on no account be simple.
However that’s exactly what Dr Samara Khatib, Marketing consultant Household Drugs and workforce lead on the COVID-19 ward at Mediclinic Parkview Hospital in Dubai, was tasked to do lately.
“We had to take the help of mental health professionals to break the tragic news to the patient, who is in her 30s,” stated the American physician of Syrian origin. “It shook us as healthcare workers.”
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We needed to take the assistance of psychological well being professionals to interrupt the tragic information (that her husband had died) to the affected person, who’s in her 30s.
– Dr Samara Khatib
Coronavirus has struck different {couples} too within the UAE, which has meant they’ve needed to depart their kids within the care of others.
Dubai-based Suman Manning, who examined optimistic alongside together with her triathlete husband Shane Manning, stated her sister took care of her triplets throughout the ordeal. Though she confirmed no signs, she needed to isolate herself and inform her children and sister to avoid her, whereas her husband was recovering in hospital.
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Suman and Shane Manning Picture Credit score: Provided
“It was a particularly trying time as the kids had just started the first week of remote learning and needed some kind of support,” she advised DailyKhaleej earlier.
‘We’re not invincible’
Engaged on the frontlines within the face of an invisible and yet-to-be-conquered virus, docs and nurses are in all probability on the highest danger of contracting COVID-19. Ask Reem Yousef, who works as an emergency nurse supervisor on the Emirates Specialty Hospital in Dubai.
It’s actually arduous. I’m actually carrying my coronary heart on my sleeve for my baby, Relle.
– Reem Yousef
 “The Lebanese mum, who is still breastfeeding her nine-month-old baby, told DailyKhaleej: “It is really hard. I am literally wearing my heart on my sleeve for my little one, Relle. Yes, there is fear of contracting COVID-19 as we work 12-15 hours a day for five days. We try our best to manage. When I go back home, I take utmost care to completely sterilise myself before I hold my baby in my arms again.”
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Reem Yousef with nine-month-old Relle Picture Credit score: Provided
Dr Khatib stated she checks herself for the virus not less than as soon as a month. “I am also very particular about hygiene. It’s almost as if I suffer from obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD). There is no respite on the front line and when we see our own colleagues falling prey to the virus, we feel emotionally distraught. It makes us realise we are not invincible. But we have a responsibility to stay safe and healthy as we can pass on the virus to other patients or our families back home.”
Regardless of the very best efforts although, the tables do get turned typically. And when that occurs, the resolve to fight coronavirus solely will get stronger.
As a physician duo at Zulekha Hospital Dubai, Dr Nishath Ahmed Liyakat and Dr Unni Nair, who’ve recovered from COVID-19 testify, there was no manner the virus would have held them again from doing their responsibility as soon as that they had obtained the remedy and accomplished their quarantine.
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Dr Nishath Ahmed Liyakat, left, and Dr Unni Nair Picture Credit score: Provided
Victor and the virus
Sure, the dismal well being disaster surrounding us does have its share of excellent news. Because the official tracker posts new instances day-after-day, there are appreciable recoveries too, with every corona warrior, irrespective of whether or not they’re a light or essential case, rising as an emphatic victor in opposition to the virus.
Communicate to sufferers who’ve turned the blind nook, and their phrases encourage you. Whereas some will let you know coronavirus isn’t a “death sentence”, others will say they don’t want their “hellish experience” even on their worst enemies.
I prayed arduous to God and positioned my belief within the medical workforce. Now, I’m getting higher day-after-day and can solely bear in mind these weeks on the ventilator prefer it was yesterday.
– Wilfredo
Both manner, there isn’t a bitterness and no taking away from the large sense of aid and gratitude on the highway to restoration.
“I hardly had any symptoms and it never felt like a death sentence. But now that I have completed my quarantine, I thank God it’s over,” stated one younger Indian lady who didn’t need to be named.
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Wilfredo Picture Credit score: Virendra Saklani/DailyKhaleej
Wilfredo, a Filipino expat, who got here out of the ventilator after 20 days at Al Zahra Hospital, Sharjah, stated, “I prayed hard to God and placed my trust in the medical team. Now, I’m getting better every day and can only remember those weeks on the ventilator like it was yesterday.”
In Abu Dhabi, Raneen Abu Zaher, a Palestinian homemaker, and her new child son, Jad, who additionally beat coronavirus, encourage hope.
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Child Jad Picture Credit score: Provided
The duo had been identified with the an infection when Jad was only a day previous. However two weeks later, once they bought the all-clear, the mom of three advised DailyKhaleej, “I tried to hold on to my faith, and prayed for my entire family.”
‘UAE will not let you down’
If there’s one factor any affected person within the UAE will vouch for, it’s the truth that they may not have been in higher arms. Whether or not it’s Liu Yujia, a 73-year-old customer from Wuhan, China, who was the primary affected person to have totally recovered within the UAE or Aubrey Escano, 27, a Filipina from Abu Dhabi who’s at present beneath quarantine, there was solely reward and gratefulness for the UAE for the style wherein coronavirus instances are dealt with.
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One of the primary coronavirus sufferers to get well within the UAE Picture Credit score: Provided
Escano in her message stated, “I would like to tell COVID-19 patients not to lose hope, not to worry and continue the fight because the UAE will not let them down.”
The exemplary affected person care aside, the UAE has additionally hit worldwide headlines for finishing up a file quantity of laboratory checks for coronavirus. Based on the Ministry of Well being and Prevention, the UAE leads international coronavirus testing with 1.5 million checks performed for the reason that starting of the outbreak. The UAE each day testing common equals a four-month common of COVID-19 testing in different nations.
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I wish to inform COVID-19 sufferers to not lose hope, to not fear and proceed the combat as a result of the UAE is not going to allow them to down.
– Aubrey Escano
Addressing a UAE Authorities distant assembly right now, Minister of Well being and Prevention Abdul Rahman Bin Mohammed Al Owais stated, “The UAE’s response to the COVID-19 pandemic is unique and different from other countries. The UAE has shown exceptional management of the crisis, whilst leveraging other countries’ experiences. However, the level of response was different, given the demographic composition in the country, which is home to more than 200 nationalities, and its distinct resources, readiness and experiences in many sectors.”
On Might 1, docs and researchers on the Abu Dhabi Stem Cell Centre additionally achieved a significant breakthrough with a promising stem cell remedy for COVID-19 sufferers.
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The analysis workforce on the Abu Dhabi Stem Cell Centre Picture Credit score: WAM
The Ministry of Economic system even granted a patent for the event of the revolutionary methodology, which was administered to 73 COVID-19 sufferers, all of whom had been cured of the virus utilizing stem cells.
Researchers, who’ve accomplished the preliminary section of scientific trials, at the moment are engaged on demonstrating the efficacy of the remedy.
Now that’s no imply achievement, by any measure.
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redkiteradio · 4 years
Text
30 of the Punniest best keyboard to learn piano
Correction Appended
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On an album of bittersweet childrens music that she wrote a lot more than ten years back, the lady who arrived being regarded only since the piano teacher made available what, in hindsight, looks like an eerie glimpse of her have long term.
Im relocating away right now to a spot so far away, where nobody knows my identify, she wrote in the lyrics of a music known as Relocating.
When she wrote that song, she was young and vivacious, a piano Trainer and freelance music author who liked Beethoven and jazz, sunsets and river sounds, prolonged walks and anything about Big apple.
On a type of beloved walks, via Central Park in the intense Sunlight of a June working day in 1996, a homeless drifter beat her and made an effort to rape her, leaving her clinging to life. Once the assault, the phrases to her song arrived real. She moved absent, outside of Ny city, outside of her aged daily life, and all but her closest close friends did not know her name. To the remainder of the planet, she was — like the a lot more popular jogger attacked in Central Park seven years before — an anonymous image of the urban nightmare. She was the piano Instructor.
Now, to the tenth anniversary of the assault, she is celebrating what is apparently her entire Restoration from Mind trauma. She's 42, married, with a little child. She's Kyle Kevorkian McCann, the piano Instructor, and she or he hopes to inform her Tale, her way.
Her health practitioner advised her it could take ten years to Get well, and Sunday was that talismanic anniversary. I truly feel my life has become redefined by Central Park, she said several times back, her voice comfortable and hopeful. Prior to park; following park. Will there ever be described as a time After i dont Feel, Oh, Here is the tenth anniversary, the 11th anniversary?
She spoke in her modest ranch household within a wooded subdivision in the Big apple suburb. She sat within a dining place strewn with toys, surrounded by photographs of her cherubic, dark-haired 2-calendar year-old daughter. A Steinway grand filled 50 % the area, and at one particular stage she sat down and performed. Her actively playing was forceful, but she seemed humiliated to Enjoy more than a few bars, and shrugged, as an alternative to answering, when questioned the identify on the piece. She asked that her daughter and her town not be named.
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youtube
She calls that working day, June 4, 1996, the working day when I was hurt.
youtube
Hers was the primary inside of a string of assaults by a similar person on 4 Women of all ages about eight times. The last victim, Evelyn Alvarez, 65, was crushed to death as she opened her Park Avenue dry-cleansing store, and finally, the assailant, John J. Royster, was convicted of murder and sentenced to lifetime in jail.
Yet the attack on the piano teacher would be the a single men and women seem to remember essentially the most. Element of the fascination needs to do with echoes of your 1989 assault over the Central Park jogger. But What's more, it frightened men and women in a method the assault around the jogger didn't for the reason that its situation ended up so mundane.
It didn't happen inside a distant Element of the park late at nighttime, but close to a popular playground at 3 inside the afternoon. It might have occurred to everyone. The strain was heightened through the thriller from the piano academics identification.
For three times, as police and Physicians tried out to determine who she was, she lay within a coma in her healthcare facility mattress, anonymous. Her dad and mom were being on holiday and her boyfriend, also a musician, was in Europe, on tour. Last but not least, certainly one of her pupils recognized a police sketch and was ready to identify her from the hospital by her fingers, for the reason that her encounter was swollen over and above recognition. The law enforcement didn't launch her identify.
The last thing she remembers about June 4, 1996, is giving a lesson in her studio condominium on West 57th Street, then Placing her extensive hair in the ponytail and going out for the walk. She isn't going to don't forget the attack, Whilst she has listened to the accounts on the law enforcement and prosecutors.
To me its similar to a truth I discovered and memorized, she mentioned. As if I had been a university student at school researching record.
She won't contemplate The person who did it. I might need been indignant for a second, although not for much longer than that, she said. How could I be offended at John Royster? He was declared not crazy, but I suppose by our standards he was.
Dr. Jamshid Ghajar, her health practitioner at Big apple Healthcare facility-Cornell Health-related Center, as it had been recognised in 1996, instructed reporters that she experienced a 10 percent probability of survival. Health professionals had to remove her forehead bone, which was afterwards changed, to generate home for her swelling Mind. When her mom manufactured a community appeal to pray for my daughter, thousands did.
Right after eight days, she came away from a coma, to start with inside of a vegetative state, then in a childlike condition. As she recovered, she slept tiny and talked continuously, at times in gibberish. I used to be obtaining mad at people today every time they didnt reply to these text, she reported.
Like an Alzheimers affected individual, she had small limited-expression memory and would forget site visitors once they still left the space.
Over several months, she needed to relearn the best way to wander, gown, browse and produce. Her boyfriend, Tony Scherr, visited every day to play guitar for her. He encouraged her to Engage in the piano, in opposition to the recommendation of her Bodily therapists, who imagined she could well be disappointed by her inability to Participate in how she the moment had. Mr. Scherr played Beatles duets with her, playing the still left-hand portion although she performed the ideal.
Which was my most effective therapy, she explained.
In August, she moved back property to New Jersey, with her father, an engineer, and mom, a schoolteacher. She frequented old haunts and known as pals, hoping to revive her shattered memory. I used to be incredibly obsessive about remembering, she reported. Any memory decline was to me an indication of abnormality or deficit.
Her therapists imagined her progress was fantastic, but her two sisters protested that she was not the deep thinker she had been.
What bothered her most was that she had dropped the ability to cry, like a faucet within her brain had been turned off. One evening, nine months soon after she was harm, she stayed up late to view the John Grisham Film A Time to Eliminate. Just after her father experienced long gone to mattress, she watched a courtroom scene of Samuel Jacksons character on trial for killing two Gentlemen who had raped his young daughter.
The faucet opened, and also the tears trickled down her cheeks. I considered my dad and mom, my father, and whatever they went through, she explained. Tiny by minor, my feeling returned, my depth of intellect returned.
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Urged by her sisters, she went back to highschool and got a masters degree in tunes education.
Not every little thing went well. She and Mr. Scherr break up up five years after the assault, even though they continue to be friends. She dated other Guys, but she often advised them with regards to the attack immediately — she couldn't enable it, she mentioned — and they under no circumstances named to get a 2nd date.
We've to find you anyone, her Good friend David Phelps, a guitar participant, claimed 4 several years ago, ahead of introducing her to Liam McCann, a pc technician and newbie drummer. For at the time, she did not say something in regards to the attack right up until she bought to be aware of Mr. McCann, and after that when she did, he admired her toughness.
Mayor Rudolph W. Giuliani, who experienced normally frequented her at her bedside whilst she was in the healthcare facility, married them in his Occasions Sq. Place of work. She wore a blue dress and pearls. Even though she was pregnant, inside of a burst of creativity, she and her mates recorded When Were being Younger, an album of childrens tunes that she experienced written before the attack, including the music Shifting. Her ex-boyfriend, Mr. Scherr, created the CD. On it, her spouse performs drums and she plays electric powered piano.
Is her lifestyle as it was? Not precisely, nevertheless she's unwilling to attribute the variances to her injuries. Her final two piano college students left her, devoid of calling to elucidate why, she mentioned. She has resumed playing classical tunes, but straightforward parts, since her daughter will not give her time for you to observe. As for jazz, I dont even consider, she reported.
She want to generate additional, experience stranded while in the suburbs, but she is definitely rattled. She tries to be written content with keeping dwelling and caring for her daughter.
Dr. Ghajar, a scientific professor of neurological surgical procedures at what is now termed New York-Presbyterian Healthcare facility/Weill Cornell Medical Middle, who operated on Ms. Kevorkian McCann once the attack, mentioned very last week that her volume of recovery was scarce. Shes basically regular, he reported.
Other professionals, who will be not personally accustomed to Ms. Kevorkian McCanns case, are more cautious.
Regaining the opportunity to Enjoy the piano may well involve an Just about mechanical system, a semiautomatic remember of just what the fingers should do, stated Dr. Yehuda Ben-Yishay, a professor of medical rehabilitation medication at The big apple College School of Drugs. Once Mind-hurt, you happen to be usually brain-hurt, For the remainder of your life, Dr. Ben-Yishay said. There is not any remedy, there is only intensive compensation.
The greater telling Portion of a Restoration, in his view, is psychological, and on that rating he counts Ms. Kevorkian McCanns relationship and baby as a substantial victory.
For her element, the piano teacher understands she has changed, but she has built her peace with it. I was kind of a hyper —— I dont know if I had been a Type A, but I was bold, she says. Why was I so ambitious? I used to be a piano Trainer. I dont understand what the ambition was about. I actually did come back to the person Im alleged to be.
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Miley Cyrus and best keyboard for learning piano
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On an album of bittersweet childrens music that she wrote a lot more than a decade back, the woman who came to generally be regarded only because the piano Instructor provided what, in hindsight, looks as if an eerie glimpse of her personal long run.
Im shifting absent now to an area so distant, where by no one is familiar with my identify, she wrote in the lyrics of a song identified as Shifting.
When she wrote that music, she was youthful and vivacious, a piano teacher and freelance music writer who cherished Beethoven and jazz, sunsets and river Appears, long walks and all the things about New York.
On one of those beloved walks, by way of Central Park in the intense sun of a June day in 1996, a homeless drifter conquer her and tried to rape her, leaving her clinging to existence. Following the attack, the words and phrases to her music came accurate. She moved away, outside of New York City, away from her old lifetime, and all but her closest friends did not know her identify. To the remainder of the earth, she was -- much like the more popular jogger attacked in Central Park 7 years earlier -- an nameless image of the city nightmare. She was the piano Instructor.
Now, within the tenth anniversary on the attack, she's celebrating what is apparently her complete Restoration from brain trauma. She's forty two, married, with a little kid. She is Kyle Kevorkian McCann, the piano Instructor, and he or she would like to inform her story, her way.
Her physician explained to her it would get a decade to Get well, and Sunday was that talismanic anniversary. I sense my daily life continues to be redefined by Central Park, she stated various times back, her voice gentle and hopeful. In advance of park; right after park. Will there ever be a time After i dont Imagine, Oh, This is actually the 10th anniversary, the eleventh anniversary?
She spoke in her modest ranch household in a very wooded subdivision in a very New York suburb. She sat inside a dining area strewn with toys, surrounded by images of her cherubic, dark-haired 2-12 months-outdated daughter. A Steinway grand crammed fifty percent the area, and at just one position she sat down and played. Her playing was forceful, but she seemed ashamed to Perform various bars, and shrugged, rather than answering, when questioned the title of the piece. She asked that her daughter and her town not be named.
She phone calls that day, June four, 1996, the day After i was harm.
Hers was the primary in a string of assaults by the identical man on 4 Girls about eight days. The last victim, Evelyn Alvarez, 65, was overwhelmed to Loss of life as she opened her Park Avenue dry-cleaning store, and ultimately, the assailant, John J. Royster, was convicted of murder and sentenced to life in prison.
But the assault about the piano Instructor could be the a single individuals look to remember the most. Component of the fascination must do with echoes with the 1989 assault over the Central Park jogger. But Furthermore, it frightened people in a means the attack around the jogger did not mainly because its conditions were so mundane.
It did not happen in a distant Component of the park late in the evening, but around a preferred playground at 3 while in the afternoon. It could have transpired to any individual. The tension was heightened because of the thriller on the piano teachers identification.
For three days, as law enforcement and Medical doctors tried to understand who she was, she lay inside of a coma in her hospital bed, anonymous. Her moms and dads had been on getaway and her boyfriend, also a musician, was in Europe, on tour. Lastly, one among her students recognized a police sketch and was capable to discover her inside the medical center by her fingers, simply because her encounter was swollen beyond recognition. The law enforcement did not release her name.
The very last thing she remembers about June 4, 1996, is offering a lesson in her studio condominium on West 57th Street, then putting her prolonged hair inside a ponytail and going out for just a stroll. She would not recall the attack, Though she has listened to the accounts in the police and prosecutors.
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To me its just like a fact I acquired and memorized, she explained. As though I were being a college student at school finding out history.
She isn't going to consider the man who did it. I might need been offended for a second, although not much longer than that, she stated. How could I be indignant at John Royster? He was declared not insane, but I assume by our benchmarks he was.
Dr. Jamshid Ghajar, her doctor at Ny Hospital-Cornell Health care Centre, as it was regarded in 1996, explained to reporters that she experienced a ten % prospect of survival. Doctors had to remove her forehead bone, which was afterwards replaced, to create area for her swelling Mind. When her mom designed a general public attract pray for my daughter, thousands did.
Soon after eight times, she came out of a coma, to start with within a vegetative state, then in a childlike condition. As she recovered, she slept minimal and talked frequently, in some cases in gibberish. I was receiving mad at individuals if they didnt reply to these words and phrases, she mentioned.
Like an Alzheimers affected individual, she had minimal quick-phrase memory and would forget about visitors when they left the room.
More than many months, she had to relearn the way to walk, dress, browse and publish. Her boyfriend, Tony Scherr, frequented every single day to play guitar for her. He inspired her to Participate in the piano, versus the advice of her Actual physical therapists, who considered she would be pissed off by her inability to Participate in the way in which she once had. Mr. Scherr played Beatles duets together with her, playing the still left-hand part whilst she performed the appropriate.
Which was my most effective therapy, she stated.
In August, she moved back property to New Jersey, with her father, an engineer, and mom, a schoolteacher. She visited previous haunts and known as good friends, trying to restore her shattered memory. I was very obsessed with remembering, she stated. Any memory reduction was to me a sign of abnormality or deficit.
Her therapists thought her development was terrific, but her two sisters protested that she was not the deep thinker she were.
What bothered her most was that she had lost the chance to cry, like a faucet inside her Mind had been turned off. A single night time, nine months immediately after she was damage, she stayed up late to observe the John Grisham Motion picture A Time for you to Destroy. Just after her father experienced long gone to mattress, she watched a courtroom scene of Samuel Jacksons character on trial for killing two Adult males who had raped his younger daughter.
The faucet opened, as well as tears trickled down her cheeks. I thought about my dad and mom, my father, and what they went as a result of, she reported. Minimal by very little, my feeling returned, my depth of intellect returned.
Urged by her sisters, she went back again to school and acquired a masters degree in new music education and learning.
Not every little thing went effectively. She and Mr. Scherr split up 5 years after the assault, even though they remain good friends. She dated other Adult males, but she usually told them in regards to the assault straight away -- she could not assist it, she said -- and they in no way termed to get a next date.
We have now to locate you a person, her friend David Phelps, a guitar participant, mentioned 4 many years ago, right before introducing her to Liam McCann, a computer technician and beginner drummer. For the moment, she did not say something regarding the assault right up until she acquired to know Mr. McCann, then when she did, he admired her toughness.
Mayor Rudolph W. Giuliani, who had generally visited her at her bedside while she was from the clinic, married them in his Occasions Square Business. She wore a blue dress and pearls. Although she was Expecting, in a very burst of creative imagination, she and her friends recorded When Had been Young, an album of childrens tunes that she had written before the assault, including the music Relocating. Her ex-boyfriend, Mr. Scherr, generated the CD. On it, her partner performs drums and she or he plays electric powered piano.
Is her everyday living as it absolutely was? Not accurately, although she's hesitant to attribute the dissimilarities to her accidents. Her final two piano learners remaining her, without contacting to explain why, she reported. She has resumed actively playing classical songs, but straightforward pieces, since her daughter would not give her the perfect time to follow. As for jazz, I dont even test, she mentioned.
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She want to push far more, emotion stranded from the suburbs, but she is definitely rattled. She tries to be material with remaining property and caring for her daughter.
Dr. Ghajar, a clinical professor of neurological operation at what on earth is now referred to as NewYork-Presbyterian Healthcare facility/Weill Cornell Healthcare Centre, who operated on Ms. Kevorkian McCann once the attack, mentioned very last week that her standard of Restoration was rare. Shes fundamentally regular, he explained.
Other industry experts, who will be not Individually familiar with Ms. Kevorkian McCanns situation, tend to be more cautious.
Regaining a chance to Perform the piano may well require an Virtually mechanical procedure, a semiautomatic remember of exactly what the fingers ought to do, reported Dr. Yehuda Ben-Yishay, a professor of scientific rehabilitation medication at New York College School of Medicine. Once brain-injured, you will be generally brain-wounded, For the remainder of your life, Dr. Ben-Yishay mentioned. There is not any treatment, There exists only intense payment.
The greater telling part of a Restoration, in his watch, is psychological, and on that rating he counts Ms. Kevorkian McCanns marriage and child as a big victory.
For her part, the piano teacher appreciates she has changed, but she has built her peace with it. I was form of a hyper ---- I dont know if I was a Type A, but I had been bold, she suggests. Why was I so bold? I was a piano Trainer. I dont determine what the ambition was about. I actually did come back to the individual Im purported to be.
Correction: June thirteen, 2006, Tuesday An post on Thursday about Kyle Kevorkian McCann, a piano teacher who was beaten and sexually assaulted a decade back in Central Park, misstated the title of her album of childrens tunes. It truly is While Ended up Young, not When Were Young.
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