#much less whatever season blue beetle shows up in

[lotusdumpling]

Are you having an existential crisis because you were never interested in Young Justice TV but now lack the context necessary to read fic with Khaji Da even though you read Blue Beetle, or are you normal?

#blue beetle #khaji da #jaime reyes #look #young justice tv is cool and all #but it was never quite my thing #that just means i have no context for fanfic #i cant even begin with how i wanna read more about miss martian from the comics #‟are you a white martian‟ ‟yes and no it's complicated‟ #WTF DOES THAT MEAN #I feel like I'll never get an explanation #as a mixed kid tho i choose to believe she's mixed #this is off topic #my point is god i love khaji da but ive not watched most of yjtv season 1 #much less whatever season blue beetle shows up in #im cringey and love ridiculous dumbass comic shenanigans #with spicy moments #thats why i read blue beetle! #and superboy i talk about that one a lot #aged like fucking milk #lotus rambles #lotus petals

[roman-writing]

A Study in Hospitality (4/?)

Fandom: Fire Emblem Three Houses / Percy Jackson and the Olympians

Pairing: Hilda Valentine Goneril / Marianne von Edmund

Rating: T

Wordcount: 8,418

Summary: There’s a new student at camp half-blood. Hilda, daughter of Aphrodite, has been tasked with showing her around. A Percy Jackson and the Olympians AU

read it below the cut, or you can read it here on AO3

The weird dream didn't go away. Which was really inconvenient, to be honest. Hilda liked sleeping as much as any other person, and these nightmares were starting to get on her nerves. Her only consolation was that they didn't happen every night. Only sometimes. But that was more than enough, thank you very much.

In her dream, her mother would offer to kill her a different way every time. Knives. Magic. Swords. Magic swords. Breaking her neck. Pulling the last breath right out of her lungs. Being hung by a diamond necklace from a myrtle tree in full summer’s bloom. And every time, Aphrodite never finished saying what was so important for Hilda to remember. 

That was, hands down, the worst part. Even worse than the dying part. Honestly, the dying part was annoying, but it got old real fast. But not getting to know why this was even happening in the first place? Abso-fucking-lutely maddening. Aphrodite would lean forward and whisper in her ear, and Hilda would wake up before she could finish delivering her warning. 

Every. Damn. Time. 

"Why are we even learning about this?" Hilda grumbled. She wore a spare set of sunglasses to try and cover the dark rings beneath her eyes. “It’s dumb. This is dumb.”

They were standing by the edge of a field, learning hunting techniques from one of the forest nymphs, who took the appearance of a young girl with the name Flayn. She was shy and willowy, with green hair and greener eyes. She was also purportedly Seteth's daughter, though Hilda couldn’t imagine which oreiad could’ve been desperate enough to get it on with a joyless busybody like Seteth. 

Beside Hilda, Claude was idly thrumming his bowstring as though it were a harp. He even managed to get a few different notes out of it somehow, though Hilda was stumped as to how he accomplished it. She didn't have any musical talent to speak of, apart from her ability to dance to anything that had a half decent tempo. 

He shrugged, only lending half an ear to what Flayn was saying to the gathered group of campers. "Supposedly it's to teach us how to tackle life's problems." 

"Um? When am I ever going to need to use this -" Hilda gestured to her bronze axe, which she was leaning upon. "-in the real world? Not that I don’t love swinging this bad boy around, but also: people are civilised now or whatever. When am I going to walk down the street and need an axe to fend off monsters?” 

Claude pointed to the axe. "Hey, I thought you lost your axe in the lake." 

"Yeah, I did. This is just one of the boring old replacements from the armoury." 

"Why didn't you equip your own axe with the return feature?" To make his point, Claude gave his bow a flick, and it transformed back into a headband. He then tossed it over his shoulder. It immediately reappeared back in his hand not a second later. "It's pretty useful." 

Hilda grumbled something under her breath. 

"What was that?" Claude asked, cupping a hand around his ear as though he hadn't heard, even though he definitely would have. 

Glowering, Hilda said, "It was either customise the sunglasses, or take the return feature." 

"And of course you chose to customise the sunglasses." 

"The original design had reflective lenses! The horrible blue-green kind that looks like a beetle shell! I couldn’t have that!" 

Claude nodded solemnly. "Tragic." 

"Oh, shut up," she snapped. She leaned back on the replacement axe, and turned her glare back upon Flayn, who was now explaining various tracking techniques. "What the hell is a 'hind' anyway? Is it a direction?"

On her other side, a soft familiar voice answered, "It's a stag." 

Hilda tossed up a hand in exasperation. "Well, why can't she just say 'stag'? And how do you know that?" 

Marianne was seated on the ground to Hilda's left. Her chin was resting atop her knees. She was holding her ankles in her hands, folded upon herself like an accordion. The eye almost seemed to skip over her, as though Marianne did not want to be seen. "I don't know. I just do." 

Claude leaned around Hilda, and asked, "Do you like hunting? Do you do it often?" 

He had to hide a grunt when Hilda elbowed him in the abdomen. Which was what he deserved for being so damn obvious. 

Still, Marianne only blinked languidly up at them. Her face gave away nothing. "Not really." 

"I've never seen you use a bow before. Want to try mine?" Claude continued, ignoring the way Hilda was now stepping on his foot. 

"Oh. Uh -" Marianne glanced towards Flayn, who was still pointing to a few broken leaves on the ground like it was actually supposed to mean something. "I think we're going to be doing that soon anyway." 

Indeed, there were a series of targets erected on the far end of the field behind Flayn. They were made of straw, and painted exactly the way Hilda would have expected targets to be painted. 

"I think I'll just throw this instead." Hilda kicked the flat side of her new axe. 

"Is that allowed?" Marianne asked. 

Hilda shrugged, and made an 'I don't know' noise. 

"At least it will come back this time," Claude said. He prodded at Hilda's shoulder with a grin. "Remember capture the flag last year?" 

Rolling her eyes, Hilda said, "That was one time." 

"And two years ago when you lost your axe to the Hippocampus that came out of the lake?" 

"A blip. A complete coincidence," Hilda insisted primly. She had taken out a small handheld mirror and was pretending to check that her lipstick was still as pristinely applied as ever. "And why is it always horse creatures that hate me? Did my mom piss off Poseidon or something?" 

"You should really just stick with the return feature on your axe, you know." 

Hilda tilted her head back and forth to inspect herself in the mirror. "And you should really cut off that braid. You’ve had it since you were - what? Eighteen?" 

Claude's hand flew to the distinctive little braid that had been woven on one side of his head. "Don't be mean to the braid, Hilda." 

Hilda snapped the mirror shut. "If you don't want to take fashion advice from a daughter of Aphrodite, that's your business. But you should know that it's a dumb business." 

"You should focus more on making sure you don't lose your third axe in three years, and less on my rakish good looks." 

Reaching up, Hilda pinched his cheek. "But just think: you could look even better." 

He gave her a lopsided grin, but did not pull his head away. "Impossible." 

"Careful," Hilda lowered her hand, only to wag her finger at him. "Or you might not be able to fit into that headband anymore." 

"Oh, ha ha." 

From the ground, Marianne watched their banter in silence. She pointed between the two of them. “Are you two -” she fished around for the right word, “- courting?”

Claude and Hilda looked at each other. And then they started laughing. 

"Oh gods." Claude leaned on his knees. "Oh, my stomach hurts."

Meanwhile Hilda leaned her elbow on his hunched back, and pushed her sunglasses up to wipe at the tears forming in her eyes. "Courting!" she repeated.

It sent them into another spiral of wheezing laughter. Marianne stared at them in utter bewilderment. "Is that -" she hazarded, "- is that not the right term?"

"No, no!" Claude straightened. "It's perfect."

"Then -?"

"We're not," he said, at the same time Hilda said, "No way."

"I mean -" Claude gave Hilda a leering once-over.

She shoved his shoulder. "Stop that."

"Remember that one time four years ago behind the armoury?"

"I would rather not." Hilda readjusted her sunglasses, and turned her attention to Marianne. "We're not dating. We have never dated. We will never date."

"You wound me," said Claude.

"No, but I will."

"Not even if I cut off the braid?"

"Not even if you let me give you a full makeover," Hilda said. Then, her face brightened, and she looked at Marianne. "Speaking of makeovers -"

"Oh no," Claude said. He began gesturing to Marianne, making a slicing motion across his throat. "Run, Marianne! Save yourself!" 

In answer, Marianne gazed up at them both in confusion. "What?" 

"My brother told me that your package is finally on the way."

Marianne blinked up at her. "Package?"

"Remember? You needed some new clothes, so I gave you mine, and ordered you some others?" She waved at Marianne's clothes, which were actually her own clothes and not Marianne's at all. 

Between thumb and forefinger, Marainne worried the long sleeve of the shirt she wore. "Yes. I remember. I didn't think you were going to so much trouble to help me."

"Trouble?" Hilda blew a raspberry. "Trust me. Getting someone a new wardrobe is never trouble. It's basically my hobby."

"It really is," Claude said with a solemn nod.

"I see," said Marianne. "Thank you. I've never had much need for clothes like these in the past."

"Did you live in a hole in the ground before coming here, or something?" Hilda asked. When Marianne did not answer, Hilda hurried to correct herself. "Not that that's bad. I mean, it's fine! Completely - uh - normal." She lowered her voice and hissed. "Claude, help me."

Thankfully, he did. "I liked your dresses. But I agree with Hilda that they would be difficult to wear while performing athletic tasks at camp."

"Tasks which still don't make any sense, I would like to add," said Hilda. To prove her point, she tilted her head towards Flayn, who had moved on to the lovely topic of how to best skin wild animals and monsters, and wear their hides. Hilda made a face. "Blech. Fur is definitely not in this season."

"The skin of some creatures can have magical properties that ward the wearer from death's eyes," Marianne said. Then, realising what that sounded like, she ducked her head, and mumbled, "So I've heard."

"Again, when are we ever going to need to 'ward ourselves from death's eyes'?" Hilda asked.

"What if our parents give us a hero's task? They do that sometimes, you know," Claude countered. "What we learn here could be helpful."

Hilda snorted derisively, "Oh. Yeah. Sure. The heroic task of canoeing across a lake. Remind me: did Hercules accomplish that daunting feat of derring-do before or after he wrestled Cerberus? My memory is a little rusty."

Claude stretched the colourful headband between his hands, and put it on. "I think the canoeing part is just for fun. The monster hunting on the other hand -" he fixed his hair so that the small braid hung just so over the headband, until he looked delightfully tousled. "- probably just good practice in coordination and cooperation."

"Look," Hilda said, "I appreciate that -- I really do -- but if not for this camp, I never would've ever met any of you. Which would've been a shame, I know. But also, the majority of us could've just lived our lives with our powers among mortals, and not had any problems." 

"I don't know about you, but I don't particularly enjoy the idea of being discovered and dissected because I'm a demigod."

"Then don't join the Olympic archery team, and you'll be fine."

Claude snapped his fingers as if coming to a sudden realisation. "Right. I’ll be sure to remember that next time I’m on the run for being the freak whose car-crash injuries heal overnight, when the collision killed everyone else involved.”

Silence stretched between them for a very long, very uncomfortable moment. 

"I'm sorry," Hilda said with a grimace. "I didn't mean -"

But he merely waved her away. "I know you didn't."

Hilda's stomach twisted with guilt. It was an unpleasant feeling, like she had swallowed a nest of live snakes. "I just don't see how learning all of this could have even helped. What could you have done differently then with the skills you have now? Shot an arrow at the other car?"

He shrugged. His arms were crossed, and he favoured studying Flayn rather than look in Hilda's direction. "Maybe. I'll never know. But I like to think this is somehow worth while. Why else would so many immortals put so much time and effort into training us, unless there was a purpose?"

"To keep us out of mischief?" Hilda said, trying to wheedle a smile out of him. "I wasn't lying when I said it would've been a shame not knowing everyone. I do like you guys. I mean -" she corrected herself, "-not enough to, like, throw myself in front of a dragon for you. But I'll be your wingman!"

A reluctant smile tugged at the corner of Claude's mouth. He looked at her askance. "To think I was prepared to die heroically for you, and you wouldn't do the same," he drawled.

Hilda scoffed. "Dying for someone else is dumb. It defeats the whole point."

And then from the sidelines, Marianne said, "Death isn't so bad."

Hilda turned to look at Marianne with an incredulous grin. "And you know that because you've died sooo many times, right?"

For a moment Marianne did not respond, until finally she mumbled, "No. Not exactly."

Hilda held out her arms as though to an audience. "I rest my case."

The other campers were starting to mill about now. Claude nudged Hilda with his elbow, and jerked his head towards the targets. "Looks like it's time for archery. Mind if I take over?"

In answer, Hilda plopped down beside Marianne, and leaned back on her elbows. "An opportunity for me to not do anything? Like you even need to ask."

"Great." Claude took off his headband. With an expert twist of his wrist, it extended into an elegantly curved bow. The surface had been carved with all manner of hunting motifs and scenes from ancient mythology. He held out the bow to Marianne with an encouraging smile. "Would you do me the honours?"

Still curled up on the ground, Marianne glanced over at Hilda in a silent question.

"Why are you looking at me?" Hilda asked.

"Well, I -" Marianne's voice trailed off. "I don't know."

Rather than lift her arm, Hilda gestured with her foot towards Claude and the targets. "It's your choice. You don't have to shoot if you don't want to. But -- and I don't say this lightly -- he is really very good with the bow. So, if you want lessons, he's the guy."

Claude swept a hand over his heart as though in fealty. "I swear I will only be the utmost gentleman."

While Hilda rolled her eyes, Marianne seemed convinced. "Alright."

Marianne unfolded herself. She patted off bits of grass stuck to her long track pants when she stood, and allowed herself to be led a few strides away. Hilda crossed her legs at the ankles, and watched.

Claude handed Marianne his bow, which she took gingerly, as though afraid she might break it. When she stepped up to the line drawn onto the grass however, she held the bow with an unquestionable familiarity. Other pairs were doing the same all along the line, while Flayn strode behind them, keeping watch with that gentle gaze of hers.

From this distance, Hilda could just overhear Claude's instructions. He directed Marianne with a mix of clarity and humour. At one point, he even managed to get her to make that soft choked noise at the back of her throat, which meant she was trying to stop herself from laughing aloud. He handed her an arrow. When Marianne drew it smoothly back to her cheek, he held up his hands for her to hold that position. 

Hilda's eyebrows shot up over the rim of her sunglasses, as she watched Claude touch Marianne's elbow to reposition her arm slightly. Even more shockingly, Marianne did not flinch away, or tell him to stop. Though her shoulders tensed, and her dark eyes flickered like a nervous animal backed into a corner. 

Sensing her discomfort, he stepped away, and made a gesture for her to fire. Marianne released the arrow.  It streaked across the pitch, and buried itself firmly in the target. Not in the bullseye or anything flashy like that. But still. On the target. Which was better than Hilda could have done. 

Claude clapped effusively. Cheeks pink, Marianne lowered the bow. Hilda could hear her making demurring noises, insisting that the praise was Claude's for being a patient teacher and expert marksman. 

Raising her voice, Hilda said, "Accept the praise, Marianne!"

At that, Marianne ducked her head. She glanced over her shoulder. If Hilda didn't know better, she might have thought she saw a slight smile on Marianne's face. As though she were secretly pleased with herself, but didn't want anyone to notice. 

Which, of course, was an open invitation for Hilda to offer even more raucous praise when Marianne hit the target again. 

"Miss Goneril," said a voice to the side.

Shielding her face from the sun with the flat of her hand, Hilda looked up to find Flayn standing over her. "Yo! What's up?"

Flayn held herself with a poise that Hilda could only dream of; the perks of being fully immortal, probably. Her voice was light and deceptively girlish. It was an uncanny contrast to her eyes, which were ancient in the same way her father's were. "Is there some reason why you're not also participating?"

Hilda took off her sunglasses so that more of her face could be seen as she widened her eyes, and said plaintively, "There's an odd number of people today, and I don't have a partner. I was just waiting to trade off with Claude and Marianne."

Charmspeak wove itself in the air like an invisible tapestry, each strand hung from Hilda's words. It settled like a net over Flayn, who blinked. Briefly her expression slackened, only for her to shake her head as though she had just walked into a spider's web. Her brows drew down in a disapproving slant. "That is quite distracting, you know."

"Sorry," Hilda made a face. "Force of habit. Did it almost work though?"

"Almost," Flayn smiled gently. Hilda had never known her to ever actually get mad before. 

"Do you think if I practice more, it will work on your dad?"

Flayn laughed, and the sound was like a breeze over the first buds of spring. "That would be a lot of practice, I think."

Swinging her sunglasses around between her fingers, Hilda smirked. "Want to help?"

"I don't see why charmspeak is even necessary. You have already successfully distracted me from scolding you for being lazy."

Hilda pouted, lacing the air with magic again. "Please?"

Flayn had to shake the charmspeak off before she relented. "Oh, very well." She sat beside Hilda, her feet neatly tucked up beneath her legs. She lowered her voice to a conspiratorial whisper. "But don't tell my father. He would be so cross."

Hilda made a locking motion with her hand, as if twisting a key at her mouth. 

While the other students practised archery, Hilda spent the next hour or so trying to charm a dryad older than the mountains. By the end, Marianne was consistently hitting near the bullseye, and Hilda had just about convinced Flayn the sky was pink. It was almost a lesson that Hilda didn't want to end so soon. Almost.

"Well, I must admit," Flayn said, rising gracefully to her feet and smiling at Hilda. "This has been very entertaining."

"Will you tell your dad about how amazingly hospitable I am?" Hilda asked.

Flayn hummed thoughtfully. "I think he already knows." She tilted her head back to study the scattering of puffy white clouds above them. "Still blue. But I think there's a rosy hue. Keep up the good work."

And with that, she started walking off, lifting her voice to deliver instructions to the group on cleaning up for the afternoon. Hilda put her sunglasses back on just as Claude and Marianne were returning to her spot. Claude was resting his hand on Marianne's shoulder, and she only seemed timid rather than tense at the contact. 

"Well, well, well," Hilda tilted her head to the side to study their approach. "Aren't you two getting on like a house on fire."

Claude winked at her, then lowered his hand after giving Marianne's shoulder a friendly squeeze. "She's a natural. If I didn't know better, I'd say she was a daughter of Apollo."

Rather than contest that idea, Marianne handed the bow back to him. "I'm sorry again. I didn't mean to -"

Claude took the bow, and tapped his tongue against the back of his teeth in an admonishing manner. “I told you, I actually kind of like it this way.” 

The smooth bone-carved handle gleamed. What had once been pale ashen bone was now streaked with gold in the shape of a handprint, as though Marianne had gripped it too hard and it had bled gold. 

With a gesture, he turned the bow back into the garishly coloured headband, except now it had a broad length of cloth-of-gold running through the fabric like splotches of paint. He put it on, then turned to Hilda, and pretended to pose as though for a camera. “What do you think? Pretty good, right?”

She hummed thoughtfully, and tapped at her chin. “Actually, I have to admit: it is a bit of an improvement.”

Marianne ducked her head, mumbled some excuse about wanting to get lunch even though Hilda rarely ever saw her actually eat, thanked Claude again, apologised (again), and then drifted off in the exact opposite direction of the dining pavilion. Claude watched her go. He waved jovially, but something keen glinted in his eyes, like he had just recognised a person on the street.

Hilda waited until Marianne was well and truly out of earshot, before asking, "Why do you look so smug?"

But Claude merely smiled. "Oh, no reason. No reason at all." His smile broadened. “See you at capture the flag tomorrow.”

--

The day of capture the flag, the sky was dark with summer rain. Hilda held her blue-crested helm between her hands, and stared up at the sky. 

"It's going to rain. This sucks," she whined, then repeated more emphatically, "This sucks."

Marianne hummed in agreement, which was more than she had done even a week ago. A week ago, she would have just stood there in complete silence, letting Hilda fill up every nook and cranny of space. Now, she made herself known with small comments and gestures and noises. She even attempted to smile, when Lysithea handed over a helmet that was identical to everyone else on their team. 

Turning over the helmet in her hands, Marianne asked, "If we are expecting a battle, why don't we wear other armour."

"It's more to just tell the two teams apart," Lysithea explained. She put her own helmet on, the blue crest of horse-hair nodding as she did so. "We don't actually hurt each other."

"Usually," Hilda added. 

"Usually," Lysithea agreed. 

Still, Marianne did not put the helmet on. Neither did Hilda, to be fair. But Hilda was avoiding the dreaded helmet hair that would accompany it. 

The two teams were gathered at the edge of the forest, where Seteth, Flayn, Manuela, and Hanneman all waited for them. Hilda spied Claude on the other team, already wearing his red-crested helm, and taking point from Dimitri, who addressed the Ares-led group. Claude spotted her watching him, and he winked. Hilda made a rude gesture with her fingers, which only made him laugh.

"Can we please refrain from fraternising with the enemy until after the competition?" said Edelgard at the fore of their own team. 

"Sorry," said Hilda, not sorry at all.

With a sigh, Edelgard shook her head. Then, she lifted her voice, and addressed the Athena-led team. "All of you know the rules, so -"

Marianne raised her hand.

"Yes?" said Edelgard.

Marianne lowered her hand, and said, "I don't know the rules."

"Hilda didn't explain them to you?"

When Marianne shook her head, Hilda did her best to look sheepish. It wasn't difficult. She felt rather sheepish, to be perfectly honest. 

"Sorry," said Hilda.

With one last glare in Hilda's direction, Edelgard said to Marianne, "Don't let the opposing team take our flag. Try to take the opposing team’s flag. Use any reasonable force necessary, but try not to kill anyone. Stick to your group, and stick to the plan. And for all our sakes, stick to the range as set out by Seteth and the others. The professors will be the judges.They’ll be walking around key boundaries. Don't go wandering too far into the forest. Remember what happened last time?"

At that, a disgruntled murmur spread throughout the large group of campers. 

"What happened last time?" Marianne asked Hilda in a low voice.

"Some idiot stumbled across a dragon's lair. It went badly." Hilda said, inspecting her eyeliner in the mirror shine of her helm. "That's how Dimitri lost his eye. Poor bastard."

Indeed, Dimitri still wore a patch over said eye. Magic and ambrosia could only do so much. Especially against wounds inflicted by other magical creatures and beasts.  

"Any other questions?" Edelgard looked at Marianne, who shook her head. "Excellent. And good luck out there. Just remember -" and her lilac gaze went hard as iron. "- defeat is not an option."

As the group began to split up and head into the forest, Hilda sighed. "Sometimes I worry about that girl. Like, doesn't she get that this is a game?"

"Is it?" Marianne asked quietly.

"Well -" Hilda hesitated. She thought about it, then decided she really didn't want to think about it. Instead, she finally shoved the helmet onto her head. "Anyway. Let's go."

Marianne followed suit. She put her helm on. Hilda had been right. Blue did look good on her. In the track pants and long-sleeved shirt however, the helm looked a bit silly.

As they crossed the first row of trees, Hilda could feel a set of eyes upon her. She glanced over her shoulder to find Seteth watching her intently. She flashed him a grin, but received nothing in return. For someone acting as one of the judges in this competition, his dedication to impartiality was admirable. But really, did he have to be so damn stiff? Relax. Live a little. 

Between Edelgard and Seteth, Hilda had to shrug off a bad feeling about this competition. To add insult to injury, she could have sworn she felt the first speck of rain. 

"Which way are we going?" Marianne asked.

Drawing her axe, which had been disguised as a boring old pen in her pocket, Hilda used it to point. "That way. Us two are guarding the flag, while everyone else does whatever Edelgard and Lysithea told them to do."

"Alright." 

It did not take long for the other groups to be swallowed up by the woods. The trees clustered thickly all around. The air was darker and heavier here, and grew even more so the further they pushed ahead. 

After a while of tramping along, Marianne had another question, "Why us?"

"Hmm?" 

"Guarding the flag is important, right? I'm assuming Edelgard had a reason for picking us."

Hilda shrugged. "Probably. I don't think we'll ever really know why Edelgard does what she does. Maybe we're the best suited for the job. Maybe there are only two people allowed to guard the flag at any one point in time. Maybe she doesn't know where to put you in a bigger team, because you're new here. Or maybe I just complain if I get put out into the field to do more work. Who knows." 

"It sounds like you know."

"It's a mystery," Hilda insisted. 

"I really don't think it is."

They reached a clearing in the trees, surrounded by dense underbrush. Here, the vegetation gave way to a near perfect circle that extended nearly twenty meters in every direction. The area was demarcated by a ring of white-capped mushrooms. Hilda was very careful not to step on one as she entered the clearing. She could almost taste the nature magic emanating off of them. 

In the centre of the clearing, a bronze spear had been stuck in the ground, and a blue flag trailed from it like a military standard. On the flag had been stitched the insignia of every cabin on their team. 

Immediately, Hilda crossed over to it. At the base of the spear, she slammed her axe into the ground so that the head was half buried and would remain upright on its own. Then she flopped onto the ground beside it. She sprawled her legs, and sighed up at the sky.

"The rest of the forest won't get any rain, except for us. Figures," she grumbled.

Marianne drifted closer. In her own hand, she held a basic armour sword of Celestial bronze, not unlike Hilda's own weapon. "Aren't we supposed to be guarding the flag?"

Hilda gestured towards the flag, which hung just over her head. "Here's the flag. And here we are. It's guarded."

Uncertain, Marianne glanced towards the edge of the clearing. "What if someone comes?"

"Then we tell them to go away."

"Hilda, be serious."

"I am being serious!"

"I have never known you to be serious."

"Now, that's just rude. I bet I'm the most serious person you've ever met."

At that, Marianne bit down on her lower lip to keep from laughing. She turned her head aside to hide a smile.

"What?" Hilda asked, placing a hand over her heart as though insulted. "You don't believe me? Name someone with more gravitas."

Marianne's voice sounded strained, as though she were trying to keep it level. "I can think of a few people."

When Marianne couldn't stop the corner of her mouth curling up in a smile, Hilda grinned at her. "That's more like it." She patted the ground beside her. "Come on. Sit. Relax."

Folding her legs, Marianne crouched down so that they sat, side by side. They were close enough that when Hilda leaned back, her arm brushed against the fabric of Mariann's sleeve. A week ago Marianne would have shuffled away. Now, she stayed put. 

Hilda cocked her head. "Are you having fun?"

That seemed to puzzle Marianne. "The forest is nice, I guess."

"No, I mean -- are you enjoying camp half-blood?"

"Oh." Marianne used the tip of her sword to draw patterns in the soft earth. She took a while to think about her answer, before she said, "Yes. I think so. It's nicer than home in many ways."

"What's home like?"

Marianne went very quiet. She continued to sketch shapes in the dirt with her sword. Little swirls and peaks, like mountains. Or perhaps flames. "It's full of people," she finally said. "But it's lonely. Not like here."

"Do you miss it?"

Marianne shrugged. "Sometimes."

Humming contemplatively, Hilda said, "I felt that way when I first came here." When Marianne shot her an incredulous look over her shoulder, Hilda insisted, "It's true! I mean, I'm great at making friends and getting to know people, but it still takes time. You only warmed up to me after a few weeks, and I was already friends with people. Think of how long it would've taken me to make friends in a place where I knew absolutely nobody."

"A few hours, I imagine," Marianne replied dryly.

"At least!"

Marianne snorted. Then her head jerked up; she frowned in the direction of the trees. "Someone's coming."

Hilda did not move. A few fat raindrops began to fall intermittently from the sky. It wouldn't be long now until it started to rain in earnest. A warm summer rain. With lightning most likely. Hilda almost wished she had packed a poncho, if ponchos weren't so awful to look at.

"Hilda -?"

"I heard you," Hilda said. She rose to her feet, brushing a few leaves from her legs. Just as she tugged her axe free from the ground, she heard voices through the underbrush.

Marianne stood as well. She remained a step behind Hilda, letting her take point. The voices grew a bit louder, and a minute later, three people wearing red-crested helms stepped into the clearing. 

Shouldering her axe, Hilda waved. "Hey, Caspar! Raphael! Ignatz! So good of you to join us!"

The three approached, Caspar leading the other two. He grinned, and gave a mocking salute with one hand. "Hi, Hilda! We've got you outnumbered. Want to make this easy, and just hand over that flag there?"

"Oh, you mean this?" Hilda jerked her thumb over her shoulder towards the flag. The drops of rain had strengthened into a drizzle. Hilda tapped at her chin as though thinking very hard about a complicated maths problem, until she said in a cheery tone, "Nope! I have a much better idea."

Ignatz had stopped at the edge of the clearing, but Raphael and Caspar continued their advance. Raphael's knuckles were sheathed in bronze gauntlets with wicked talons on the ends, while Caspar carried an axe even larger than Hilda's. 

If anything Caspar's smile only widened at the prospect of a fight. "Oh, yeah? What's the plan?"

Behind him, Ignatz was nocking an arrow into his bow. Hilda tsked, shaking her head, and wagged a finger in his direction. "Down, boy."

Charmspeak laced through the air. Without hesitation, Ignatz lowered his bow. 

Frowning, Caspar looked over his shoulder, then did a double take. "Ignatz! What are you doing? Shoot them!"

But Ignatz's eyes were glazed behind his thick round spectacles. He did not react to being addressed by his team leader. 

"Don’t be rude, Ignatz. You heard the man!" Hilda said. She pointed at Caspar and Raphael, and said, "Shoot them!"

Immediately, Ignatz drew his bow back, aiming at his friends. His arrow narrowly missed, deflected by Caspar’s axe. Both Caspar and Raphael whirled about, torn between who to face. They set their backs against one another. 

"Oh, would you look at that!" Hilda gasped in faux surprise. "You're outnumbered! And surrounded, I would like to add. So, hows about you just -" she snapped her fingers with a beaming smile, "- give up, and go away?"

Baring his teeth, Caspar lowered his stance. "I still like my odds."

"Don't worry. I'll fix that, too." Hilda looked at the hulking man at his side. "Oh, Raphael!" she said in a sing-song tone.

Caspar whirled around to his only remaining teammate. "Plug your ears, Raphael! Don't listen to her!"

Hilda continued to speak over him, weaving a tapestry of charmspeak with every syllable. "Raphael, doesn’t an early dinner sound just too amazing to resist?”

Raphael’s tawny eyes went unfocused. Slowly, he lowered his fists, his broad shoulders relaxing. “Yeah,” he said in a dazed tone. “Yeah, food sounds really good right now.”

“You know,” Hilda said, “If everyone else is out here in the woods, then there’s nobody in line at the dining pavilion!”

His expression brightened, and he started heading towards the treeline. 

“Don’t forget to take Ignatz with you!” Hilda called after him.

In response, Raphael picked up Ignatz -- who was still pointing an arrow at Caspar -- and carried him away. 

Hilda waved after them until the rain and trees obscured their figures, then turned her bright smile upon Caspar. “You’re so cute when you’re mad.”

Furious, Caspar took out his frustrations by chopping at a nearby tree trunk with his axe a few times. Typical child of Ares behaviour. Hilda inspected her nails while she waited for his little tantrum to be finished. She had a microscopic chip in her nailpolish. She would need to repaint them this evening. 

Finally Caspar rounded on her. His face was bright red and streaked with rain. “Fight me anyway!”

“Mmmm…Nah,” said Hilda, still inspecting her nails. 

“Is this a good idea?” Marianne asked at her side. “He looks really angry.”

“See, now, that’s the thing.” Hilda waggled her fingers towards Marianne’s sword. “If you fight him, then he wins. Even when he loses, he wins.”

“I don’t think I understand.”

“Stop talking about me like I’m not here!” Caspar shouted.

Which, of course, meant Hilda kept talking about him like he wasn’t there. “Caspar loves fighting, but he won’t fight you unless you fight him. So, the only way to win is to not fight at all.” She pretended to lower her voice to a whisper, knowing full well that he could still hear her. “He hates it so much.” 

At that, Caspar kicked at the ground, sending a spray of dirt towards them. With a great, wordless cry of frustration, he stomped off after Raphael and Ignatz. 

Hilda called after him, “Hey! Tell Dimitri to send someone good next time!” 

“Fuck you, Hilda!” 

“Maybe later! Bye bye, now!” 

When Caspar, too, had left, Marianne turned to Hilda. “I see now why Edelgard puts you in charge of guarding the flag.”

“You’re here, too,” Hilda pointed out. 

“I didn’t do anything.”

“Sure you did. You have the most important job of all!”

Marianne’s expression was dubious. “Which is -?”

“Making sure I don’t get bored, and abandon my post in favour of going to the arts and crafts centre. Which I may have done in past years. I refuse to incriminate myself.” 

Something rustled in the trees again. Hilda squinted through the rain. She had to wipe at the brim of the helmet, clearing the drizzle that unspooled in front of her face. Beside her Marianne peered in the same direction, though where Hilda hefted her axe, Marianne's hand remained slack around the hilt of her sword of Celestial bronze. 

Hilda raised her voice to call out, "We know you're out there! How about you make it easy for everyone, and just lay down your weapons! Or maybe just go away! That would be really great! Thanks!" 

More shuffling. The low branches and foliage of the shrubbery wavered back and forth. Then, a deer burst through the trees. Hilda yelped in surprise, and the deer bounded away. She clutched at her chest with one hand to calm the racing of her heart. 

"Oh, for fuck's sake," she grumbled after the deer. 

"It wasn't alone," Marianne said softly. 

Marianne nodded towards the trees where the deer had appeared. This time, there was absolute silence. No shuffling or rustling at all. And yet, Claude stepped into the clearing as though he were out on an evening stroll in his garish gold-streaked headband, and bright yellow t-shirt. His bow was in his hands. He glanced in their direction. When Hilda opened her mouth to speak, he raised a single finger to his lips, and shook his head. 

Instead of speaking, Hilda rolled her eyes and mouthed at him, "What are you doing?"

In answer, Claude gestured for her to come over to him. He then pointed to where the deer had vanished into the woods. Hilda did not move. She watched that place. And watched. And watched. 

Nothing happened. 

This time, she spoke aloud, "Alright, if this is some kind of trap, I am not falling for it." 

He made a slicing motion at his neck for her to be quiet, then strung his bow with a bronze-tipped arrow, backing away. 

“Yeah. Still not falling for it.”

"Hilda -" 

"Not now, Marianne. He's trying to trick us into abandoning the flag, or something. I mean, it's a stupid trick. Which is weird. He's normally cleverer than that, but -" 

Marianne grasped her arm, and that was enough for Hilda to fall silent. She looked over only to find that Claude had vanished from the clearing. Meanwhile, the place he had pointed to was growing dark. As though night were falling before its time. Shadows gathered beneath the boughs and between the trees, and not even the rain could pierce it. 

And then one of the shadows stepped forward. 

Marianne's hand tightened on Hilda's arm. Her face looked even more pale. She took a trembling step back. "Is that supposed to be here?"

“No. No it definitely isn’t.” 

The shadow sloped slowly forward with the grace of a great cat. It stepped on one of the mushrooms, crushing it and its magic underfoot. It had too many legs. Its eyes burned a dull coal-red, and smoke slithered in its footsteps. No sooner had it emerged, than another followed in its wake. And another. And another. Their muzzles dripped with something other than rain. One of them still carried in its jaws the haunch of the deer, which it dropped at the edge of the clearing. 

"Oh," Hilda breathed, "shit." 

Marianne had let go of Hilda's arm and taken another step back, and Hilda was right there with her. The pack followed them with lidless eyes, each enormous head turning to watch their retreat. Every fibre of Hilda's bones -- down to the marrows -- was screaming for her to run, to turn tail and sprint until her lungs burned and her legs gave way. Until the sun could wash over the land, and burn away the foul stench of sulphur that preceded the shadows like a fog. 

Hilda shoved that tiny screaming miniature version of herself away, and instead tightened her grip upon her axe. Her hands were sweaty upon the hilt. The distance between her, Marianne, and the shadows was shrinking, but at a certain point the shadows stopped approaching. Darkness swirled all around the edges of the clearing like mist. 

"Whatever you do," Marianne murmured, and her voice trembled slightly, "don't look away from them." 

Without thinking, Hilda glanced over her shoulder at Marianne. "What? Why -?" 

"No, don't -!" 

There was a flash of darkness that stirred the air, and when Hilda looked back around, one of the creatures loomed over her. It was not rearing back on its hind legs. It did not need to. It was massive enough that it could loom without trying. Hilda only jerked her axe up in time to knock the creature's head aside, so that she did not lose a limb. The Celestial bronze cut a pale glowing mark into the shadow, and it snarled in fury. 

"Fuck," Hilda swore. "Shit fuck." 

She staggered back with another wild swing, as teeth snapped near her head. This was bad. This was very bad. Her inner thoughts were a constant stream of frantic swearing, as she hacked and slashed with the best of her abilities. No sooner had she made one of the shadows back off, than another took its place. They circled around her with bared teeth like tarnished silver, snapping and growling, so that she could never quite get her bearings before she had to swing around once more to fend off another. 

"Hey, back off, already!" Hilda said, and her voice cracked in fear. The charmspeak rolled over them, and for a split second the creatures hesitated, only for their eyes to burn bright as though searing the very magic away. 

One of the shadows lunged. Cursing loudly, profusely, and elegantly, Hilda brought her axe down hard enough that it sliced through the thing's damn neck. The creature's head continued to shriek even as it dissolved on the ground at her feet. In horror, Hilda watched while the shadow twitched and swung its body back and forth as though merely blinded.

Another tried to bite her around the stomach, but from the trees there came a dart of bronze. The creature jerked back as a bronze-tipped arrow found its mark, sticking out of its eye and smoking there as though it were a white-hot iron. 

Hilda wrenched around. Claude waved at her from the safety of a nearby tree, then nocked another arrow. Hilda swung her axe at another shadow, and yelled at him, "If I die, I am going to be really pissed off, Claude!"  

His answer was another arrow sticking into the creature to her right. It snapped at her ankles, and she had to snatch her foot back to avoid losing it entirely. "Marianne, are you -?" 

But when Hilda looked around, Marianne was no longer beside her. The creatures had her completely surrounded and alone. In a panic, Hilda gave one of them a good smack with her axe, and it squealed like a kicked dog when one of its many legs was cut off. Still, it did not die. It only began to limp. But it meant that Hilda could actually see over it. 

Marianne was standing near the flag. Watching. Her shoulders were hunched. Her cheeks blanched. Her sword had been dropped to the ground as though discarded. 

Hilda swung her axe again to fend off another attack. She called out, "You can help me any day now!" 

Marianne's mouth moved, but no sound came out. She took a trembling step back, and shook her head. "I -" she choked out. "I can't. I'm sorry. I can't -" 

"What do you mean: you can’t?!" 

When one of the beasts clawed the air, Hilda was forced to stagger back or risk disembowelment, which was not high up on her to do list. It knocked her axe aside, so as to close its teeth around the hilt and wrench the weapon from her hands. She clung on for dear life, toppling sideways onto the ground, and landing in the disembodied head of the one she had decapitated.

Her hand fell right through the shadow as if it were made of liquid. Hilda continued to grapple over her axe, but stopped when she felt something cold begin to creep up her arm. 

Veins of shadow were branching towards her shoulder. Panic lanced through her, and her grip slackened on the axe enough for the beast to tear it from her hand. There were only three of the creatures still upright, their flanks protruding with a forest of arrows and gouges from Hilda's axe. The fourth had dissolved into a twitching mass of darkness on the ground. 

Panic quickly rose to terror. Hilda reached over with her free hand to squeeze her upper arm in an attempt to staunch the flow of icy shadow up her arm, while the remaining three beasts descended upon her. 

She closed her eyes, curled up into a ball on the ground, and waited for teeth and claws to tear into her. But that moment never came.

"Leave her alone."

Like a kid peering through their fingers at a horror film, Hilda slowly opened her eyes. Marianne was standing beside her. From this angle, Hilda could see the underside of her clenched jaw, and the way her fists shook. 

The beasts backed away a step. They seemed to be weighing their chances. They looked from Marianne to Hilda, and took a step forward. Obviously, they liked their odds. 

Something flickered across Marianne's face, like steel plates settling into place. With one hand she reached up to the pendant at her neck, and tugged it free from the white ribbon from which it was strung. As she extended her arm, it seemed that she was slowly drawing a sword from her chest. Its handle was bone. Its crossguard the golden shape of the original pendant. Its blade was curved and utterly, purely black. Black as a nightmare. 

In one smooth motion, Marianne swept the sword downward. It arced, and left behind the faint stench of burning ozone, as though its edge had cut through the very air molecules. She brought it down upon the nearest beast, as easily as if brushing aside a cobweb. 

Whereas the Celestial bronze of Hilda and Claude's weapons had bled the beasts a searing white, Marianne's blade left behind a cut that revealed nothing but darkness. The beast's hide split open, and a wind stirred. The blade absorbed the shadows within until not an inch of the creature remained. 

"LEAVE HER ALONE." 

Marianne's words were not loud; they were substantial. As though every letter she spoke were engraved upon stone, etched into a memorial that would weather the millennia beyond mortal ken. 

Immediately, the last two beasts stopped in their tracks. They lowered their heads and their great hulking shoulders, until they lay upon the ground before her. Like trained dogs. Hilda even swore she could see their ears flattened back, as though they had been admonished by an angry master. 

Slowly, Marianne turned. Hilda had to resist the urge to scramble back. Marianne's eyes had gone black. Black as night. Black as the blade in her grasp. Thunder rolled in the distance, but the rain seemed to melt away before ever reaching her. And over Marianne's head, a pale flame burned in the shape of a bident, curved like a broken halo, or perhaps like horns. She cast a shadow that blotted out the sky. Behind her the beasts awaited her command, twin hellhounds with eyes like a dying furnace. 

She knelt before Hilda, and held out her hand. This time when Marianne spoke, her voice sounded normal. Well, that wasn’t true. It sounded kind of echo-y. But more normal than before.

"May I -?"

It took Hilda a moment to realise what Marianne was referring to. The cold shadow had reached her shoulder, and was now winding its way up the side of her neck like a plague. Hilda nodded, but still she winced when Marianne took her infected hand in her own.

Her eyes were still black. She did not seem to need to blink. The air around her continued to hum with energy. It made a shiver race down Hilda's spine, as though someone had just walked across her grave. Marianne grasped her hand, and her touch drew the darkness out like a poison until nothing but pure, warm, unblemished skin was left behind. 

"I knew it."

Both Hilda and Marianne turned to look towards the edge of the clearing. Claude held their flag in one hand, and his bow in the other. He was beaming in triumph. 

“I’ve won. And now,” He gestured with the flag towards Marianne. “I also know what you are. You're not one of the Demeter kids. You’re a child of Hades. You're a daughter of Death." 

#hilda valentine goneril #marianne von edmund #hilda/marianne #hildamari #fe3h #fire emblem three houses #roman writes

[techouspeaks]

Classic Reviews: Big Bad Beetle Borgs and Metalix!

“Three typical, average kids were founded by Saban! Just by luck, got picked up and now they’re a PR spin off!”

I know, that was bad and I should feel bad but I don’t. Least not that much...

So, I was looking to review something and I decided to do some series that I’ve done only brief look upons, such as the series from my top “90s Kids Shows That No One Talks About” and go on from there.

I’ve talked about Big Bad Beetle Borgs before but not in good details. I’ll try to keep from repeating too much and just get my basic thoughts on it. The real question is whether this series is better or worse than Power Rangers?

Big Bad Beetle Borgs is a series by Seban Entertainment who gave you series such as Power Rangers, X-Men (1994-1997) and the infamous but kinda famous dub of Samurai Pizza Cats. Like Power Rangers, Seban obtained clips from the original B-Fighter sentai series from Japan and combine it with it’s own story, characters and gags. The show ran for two seasons which is the same as B-Fighter and first aired September 7th 1996 and the second season aired in March 2nd 1998. 

The show unlike Power Rangers, kinda had a sitcom element and wasn’t as serious as Power Rangers would get. It had a more comedic tone, making this especially for younger kids. It was basically the Power Rangers for kids that couldn’t handle the “heavy” drama that Power Rangers, least the later series, had. Does that make it good or bad? Well let’s look at the story.

The story focuses on three kids as I said, name Drew, his sister Jo and their friend Roland. The three kids are basically your average kids as the theme states. They like to read comic books and kinda had the 90s theme going on of liking things that were “EXTREME” and used a bit dated 90s catchphrases. Though I will say that they weren’t too bad on that. They did use the catchphrases a lot less. In fact I think Flabber, the ghost they freed did more the catchphrases than the kids, now that I think about it. I’ll get to him in a bit.

One day the bullies of the town (And I guess their school. I’m trying to remember if you ever did see the school.), dare them to go into the Hillhurst Mansion, an old, fallen apart, abandon mansion on the outskirts of town that’s said to be haunted. When the kids do, both the bullies and our three heroes discover that the house is indeed haunted, by monsters that are loosely inspired by the classic horror monsters of the golden age. The monsters chase the kids around the house trying to eat them, until the three kids stumble upon an old pipe organ. When the kids play the organ, it frees a ghost named Flabber, who you could argue is trying to be like Genie from Aladdin. He’s got blue skin and tries different impressions and is able to grant wishes. At least one wish out of gratitude. 

The kids wish to become the Beetleborgs, the heroes from their favorite comic book series and as he does, he accidentally releases the villains of the comic, the Magnavores. Now it’s up to the three kids to be Beetleborgs and save their town from the Magnavores and try to get them back into the comic, which the kids make no hesitation to agreeing upon.

Later series, Metalix had the Beetleborgs go up against new villains and try to gain the “Astral Borgs”, which were special and more powerful allies, along with the Monster’s new recruit of “Little Ghoul”.

Is it as bad or good as Power Rangers? To be honest, I think it’s a little better than Power Rangers, at least in my perspective and mainly in the campiness of it. The one thing about Power Rangers is that it’s doing all the corniness with teens to near adults and sometimes that works fine in some series like my favorite series Wild Force, Ninja Storm, Dino Thunder and Maho Tsukai! (Just kidding!), Mystic Force, but other times, especially the first series, it’s pretty painful to sit through, least in my opinion.

BBB handles this campiness well. It knows what it wants to be and gives the kids what they want. They want to feel like they can be the hero, they want to see Flabber doing fun little magic tricks, they want to see the fight scenes and they want to see some good old fashion slapstick. Being it’s kids and not teens or adults as the main heroes, the campiness fits more at home in this series. 

The series also has a bit of heart to it. You can tell the actors playing their roles had a good time. Well, at least for the most part. Some of the kids kinda feel bored at times. At least sometimes. Other times they seem to enjoy their roles fine but it just seems to be the adults that had the most fun. The kids act fine in this but other times when the drama was big, their acting could have used a bit more energy, but they were kids at the time and for Seban no less. I mean Seban is not exactly a dub of quality as many would know! You can tell they were at least trying with what they were given.

The characters are well likable too. The kids for the most part are likable and charming and seem to have enough character to them enough to identify them. Drew is the typical kid that wants to be the leader and the “cool type” but he’s also down to earth. I’m glad they didn’t make him too cocky or too “extreme 90s” like so many of the “cool kids” were at that time. 

Jo is your tomboy girl but she can be like her brother, she can be rather down to earth when she needs to be. I also like how they explained why she looked and sound different after the original actress left. Wolfie casts a spell from a magic book, changing her appearance and then Flabber counters a spell so that she would look the same as before to everyone else, but to those who witness the first spell being cast would see her as her new appearance. That’s actually kinda clever. Usually when an actress or actor leaves, they do something, like another option they could have went with was to have Jo go to boarding school or something and have her be replaced by another tomboy girl. Shoot, maybe a foreign exchange thing but I guess because Jo was well liked by the kids, they just didn’t want to replace the character so they just made a clever idea to keep the character and explain why she looked and sound different. 

Roland is the only one that I kinda don’t get into. He’s fine, he’s just not very interesting and I don’t remember him getting a whole lot of character development or focus a lot. Make whatever racist comment about it. To me, I think they just didn’t know what to do with him but needed a 3rd character and an excuse for the kids to get the comics easily and for the kids to be really close to the adult characters of the Comic Book store, without it being seen as creepy.

Though one character I barely remember was Josh. A kinda resident “popular kid” who temporarily becomes the White Blaster Borg to fight and defeat the Shadow Borg, in a Yin Yang sorta way. I just remember he and Drew were rivals for the affection of the popular pretty girl in their town and that he would lose his powers forever since his sole purpose was to defeat Shadowborg, which he didn’t care too much because being a superhero was too much for him.

Flabber, while you can tell he’s trying to be the Genie from Aladdin, especially the fact he has blue skin and has magic, as well as do impressions of other things and famous people and references, he doesn’t feel like a total rip off. He does generally have his own sense of identity and it’s hard not to like him, least for me. He can be a little annoying with his antics, but he’s still quite charming and helpful and usually I don’t like Elvis impersonators, but he doesn’t do that too much despite being dressed like one. Put it short, I like Flabber and while I can see what he’s trying to do, he doesn’t feel like a total rip off the Genie. 

Flabber also helps defend the kids against the Hillhurst Monsters who tend to try to eat the kids. By the end of the first series though, they ultimately quit doing so and do occasionally help the kids out on their adventures.

The Hillhurst Monsters too have their own personalities and quirks. In fact, I think it’s safe to say that that’s what drove the kids into the series. The actors who did the monsters seemed to have a lot of fun and a lot of the series episodes focused on them despite being mostly comedic relieves. Each episode ending credits had the monsters do some crazy high jinks while the credits rolled. They each have their own back stories and we even see some personal endeavors they have to face from time to time.

First you have Count Fangula who is a vampire that isn’t quite competent in his vampire skills. He tries to but more often then not fails.He almost gets sent away by the master of vampires that looks exactly like Vlad the Impaler, for having a victim count that’s too low. He’s the only one that can tell what Wolfie is saying. He also seems to be the most sensitive sorta, next to Frankie, but also sensible. He knows when to back down most of the time and seems to have good surviving instincts out of all them and is easily scared the most.

Wolfie or Wolfgang is a werewolf that eventually joins the residents of Hillhurst in the first season. He’s probably the most bravest as he has tangled with the bad guys more than once. He barks and makes Scooby Doo like noises and as said, Fangula understands what he’s saying and translates. He acts sorta like their dog and sleeps in a dog house next to Frankie.

Frankenbeans or Frankie as he’s called, is as you expect a Frankenstein type monster. He’s talks more like a toddler and literally has no brain, which is the cause a lot of jokes involving him. He’s rather the most innocent of the monsters because of this. He can be a bit more threatening when angered, sometimes even the other monsters can be a bit intimidated by him since he’s got incredible strength.

Mums is a 5,000 year old mummy who was once a prince that got entombed for kissing Cleopatra in public. He’s a bit sarcastic and can be very funny and comes up with the most insults and jokes. He also seems to be the most encouraging and helpful of the bunch, giving ideas for plans and schemes, sometimes even thinking of good solutions for the Beetleborgs from time to time.

Eventually, the Hillhurst residents get another resident called “Little Ghoul” who happens to be the Grim Reaper’s niece in training. She’s sarcastic, violent and a bit of brat! So much so that despite her pint size body, she even scares the other monsters especially in her true form, which she hides under a hood. She has high respect for the Astralborgs, the powerful allies I mentioned earlier and will help them out without hesitation. 

The first bad guys were actually kind of interesting. They’re the typical bad guys that just want to cause trouble for the sake of it but they have such personality that makes them stand out. The three main goons are Typhus, Noxic and Jara and they actually prefer chilling out and scaring the heck out of people most of the time. Typhus loves to eat, Noxic is the smart one that was voiced by Impmon/Veemon from Digimon and Jara was the sassy female villain that also gained a few chuckles since she was the more competent of the two.   Even Vextor, the main boss has some pretty funny moments and interesting design. (My favorite line was when he said to his three henchman  "If there's a brain cell among you, it's dying of loneliness!" )

The bad guys for Metalix though are pretty lame...There’s nothing really that stands out about them. I mean, I thought it was pretty funny that the main boss, (yeah I don’t care about his name), actually grants a kid’s wish to have a monkey instead of a dog after the boy helps him. That’s pretty funny but yeah, the villains in Metalix are pretty weak.

I actually forgot to mention what Metalix is about. It’s pretty much the same thing as the first series but we’re introduce to the new villains and a “twisted” comic book artist named Les Fortunes (Get it?) that is the brother to the comic book artist for the BBB comic books, Arthur “Art” Fortunes. Art decides to help the BBB by making new armor and weapons that Flabber can bring to life. He actually does show up in the first season but returns more often in the second season.

This sounds cool but it kinda ends up pretty weak. For one thing, again not so creative villains. Again, at least with the first ones, they have personality. Here they don’t. The concept of the good artist vs the bad artist is an interesting idea but it’s not done very well here. First, Les is pretty creepy and unsettling also aside from being twisted, what did he actually do to warrant being in jail? I can think of one thing and lets just say he shouldn’t be around kids... Plus, the brother, Art, while likable enough, their rivalry is too childish and out there for even this series. I mean, yeah the adults here act way out there but this is way too out there.

Does this mean the second series is bad? Well, it’s not horrible or unwatchable, it’s just kinda weak in some areas but it still does focus on random adventures, introducing new characters including a fourth Beetleborg and focusing on the Monsters of HillHurst, so it doesn’t change too much from the first plot. It’s just kind of weak with what should be an interesting concept and the new villains just lack a personality that stands out. Shoot, the new villains are called the “Crustaceans” and only one is actually a fish monster that’s not even based on a crustacean of any sort! Did one of the staff members had something against sea food and decided that should be the villains? Even so none of the other Crustacean soldiers are based on aquatic animals. You got Horribelle that’s based I think on a mantis, a fish monster and the main boss is a triceratops.

So yeah new ideas that just simply needed to be thought out better,  but the heart and most of the other adventures remain roughly same as the first. 

The animation and effects are cheesy as well as you would expect from a Seban Power Ranger’s spin off, though the parts with the Comic Book transformation and transits are done very well and creatively.

I can’t be too hard on this show. It’s a show that isn’t good but it’s charming and fun and that’s what this series was meant to be. A cheesy, creative and fun adventures with a colorful cast of characters. Sure there isn’t anything much for adults in it but if you like corny, cheesy goodness, I would give this a go, especially if you are Power Rangers fan and can enjoy the corniness that PR can bring. There’s nothing at all bad in it for kids or any horrible lessons, so I definitely do recommend it for young children to watch it. I give the first series 6 1/2 stars out of 10 even if I’m being a bit generous and Metalix 5 1/2 stars. Not good, not bad. Just a right in the middle corny fun to bug out on.

BBB: 6 1/2 Stars!

Metalix: 5 1/2!

Level: Good!

#90s #90s kid #Power Rangers #seban #big bad beetleborgs #fox kids

[fluffymusketeer]

“X” Marks the Spot (Explore)

Trust Eren to plan something truly weird for their anniversary.

This is the first of a series of four drabbles I’ve written using the NSFW prompts for the Ereri Month of Love! Thank you to @ererievents for organising this event & @omglevixeren for beta reading <3

A couple of quick notes. There is a sex pollen element to these drabbles, in case anyone prefers not to read that, and the story takes place in a canon universe where no one important ever dies and curses don’t exist. The magic of writing! Enjoy :)

Well, this is different, Levi muses.

He reaches up to snag Eren’s military issue sock from the high tree branch. He knows it is Eren’s sock, because Mikasa has stitched his name into the cotton. The early morning dewdrops have dampened the edges of the scratchy material. It’s a sorry sight.

Levi checks inside the sock – thank fuck it’s clean – and sure enough, he discovers another neatly folded square of paper. He fishes it out and stuffs the sock into his pocket, then scans the spidery ink for his next clue:

High up in a tree, you stumbled on me. During winter last, in red I am cast.

“What the fuck, Eren?” he mutters to himself.

He’s been at this for an hour now, waking up with the first rays of dawn to find a folded paper clue on the other side of the bed instead of the usual drooling scruff of a man. Trust Eren to plan something truly weird for their anniversary. No doubt his devious little friends helped him out too.

Levi trudges through the forest, the first carpets of spring bluebells dappled in sunlight and shadow all around him, and considers the clue. It takes him a while to work out, but eventually he uses his gear to fly up to the old robin’s nest he’s never quite forgotten the location of.

He’d knocked the nest out of the tree by accident during a training session the winter before last, and Eren had stumbled across Levi desperately trying to fix one of the fledgling’s wings. He’d gently coaxed the story of Isabel and her bird out of him, and it wasn’t long after that things had changed forever between them.

Levi crouches down, and he can see the nest has not been used this year. Instead there is the folded paper and requisite clue, attached to a slightly wilted red rose:

Grown hollow am I, I reach for the sky. Not easily missed, where you and I first kissed.

Cheesy treasure hunt aside, Levi supposes this isn’t a bad way to spend a morning, zipping through the treetops, a cold breeze in his hair and the dew drops clinging to his eyelashes. Of course he’d rather be in bed getting his dick played with like a normal person on their anniversary… but it’s Eren, so Levi is determined to make the best of this silly, romantic treasure hunt he’s cooked up.

This tree is a little harder to find, largely because Levi’s memory of it is swallowed up by the shock of Eren’s tongue being shoved down his throat, overeager little idiot that he was. It wasn’t until he was a good ten or fifteen seconds into showing Eren how not to suffocate a person during a kiss that Levi had frozen and realised he was making out with Eren.

There hadn’t been much hope of getting rid of him after that.

Levi pulls his cloak in tight as he alights on what he thinks is the right tree. Birds scatter from the branches into the cloudless sky, cawing in offense. Levi is momentarily distracted by the elegant beat of their wings as they catch the updrafts of warming air. Then he rolls his sleeves up and begins searching for the next clue.

He hopes there’s breakfast at the end of this treasure hunt, as his empty stomach gives a protesting growl.

In the end he finds the clue wedged deep inside the hollow of tree, and Levi flicks a beetle off his arm as he pulls it out. “Fucking disgusting. Thanks, Eren,” he mutters.

He reads the clue aloud. “As shallow as the ocean is deep, find me quick and you may keep. As calm as the ocean is wild, take care you are not beguiled.”

Levi leans against the tree bark, scowling into the leaves overhead. Beguiled? Clearly Eren had some help from Armin with these clues. And if Levi finds out Erwin had any prior knowledge of this little escapade, he’s going to make good on an array of threats over the years and throttle the bastard.

As he’s making his way to the lake, Levi spots something on the forest floor. With a burst of gas, he swings back around and glides down to inspect it further.

It’s Eren’s shirt.

He’d have half a mind to put a stop to Mikasa sewing name labels in Eren’s clothes, if it didn’t cheer her up so much. Whatever keeps his best soldier happy. Levi sheathes his gear and grabs the shirt off the ground. It’s still warm, and he’s very tempted to shove his face in it and breathe Eren in, but he won’t, because he’s nearly forty damn it.

His eyesight is still good though, he reflects, as he spies another item of clothing in the distance, draped carefully over the bluebells. The trail leads in the direction of the lake, and Levi’s interest in the game slowly evolves as he picks up Eren’s clothes from the forest floor; a little less annoyed, a little more heated.

The lake is an expanse of sparkling aquamarine, rich with winter snow melt, when Levi finally bursts out of the woods. He has an armful of clothes folded neatly under his arm, and a half-hard cock.

Half-hard becomes fully hard when he sees Eren standing knee deep and naked in the glistening waters of the lake. Facing away from Levi, the smooth muscles of his back are on full display. He appears to be watching the lake’s resident ducks and geese as they paddle around and flutter their wings. Ripples of water spread from where his firm thighs meet the blue-green waters, and tanned skin is reflected on the surface of the lake. “Fuck,” Levi hisses under his breath.

Maybe getting up early wasn’t such a bad idea after all.

“You couldn’t have folded your damn clothes?” he calls out.

Eren peers over his shoulder and smiles. “You took your time,” he calls back.

Levi stomps down to the lake shore, ready to start shucking some clothes of his own. There is nowhere to hang Eren’s stuff, or his own, except for the damp pebble-strewn sand. Fuck it, he thinks, and drops Eren’s clothes atop some tufty grass. He sits down in the sand to wrench his boots off, then begins tugging at his straps and gear, eyes raking greedily over Eren’s lithe body and long legs. He appears to be purposefully keeping his back to Levi, firm ass flexing as he cranes his head to watch Levi undress.

“So what’s this in aid of?” Levi asks, gesturing to the lake, resplendent with the shimmering deep green and brown feathers of the mallards and the crisp white wings of the snow geese.

“I don’t know, really,” Eren says, scooping up a handful of clear water and trickling it over the back of his neck. It runs in rivulets between his shoulder blades, and Levi can feel his mouth watering. “Just felt like coming to the lake.”

“Mm.” Levi wades into the water, biting out a curse at the frigid temperature, and presses himself up against Eren’s backside, arms snaking round to hug the warmth of his body. “It’s fucking freezing.”

“Yeah,” Eren agrees, letting Levi tug him backwards.

He strokes the firm planes of Eren’s stomach for a while, nosing Eren’s hair aside and pressing kisses to the soft skin at the nape of his neck, snuggling into his warmth. Eren shudders in his arms, and gently caresses the backs of his hands as they explore. Levi’s cock twitches against Eren’s ass cheeks, warming up again. “You look so good,” Levi mutters against Eren’s skin.

“So do you. Did you like the treasure hunt?”

“I like the treasure,” Levi replies, fingers dancing down to Eren’s groin.

Eren snorts indelicately.

The ducks and geese out on the lake are busy with the business of spring too, tussling over females and jealously guarding their chosen mates for the season. Levi watches the subtle feathery politics over Eren’s shoulder as he wraps his hand around a hard length.

A puff of air escapes Eren, misting in the cool morning, and he presses back into Levi, shifting to get Levi’s cock between his ass cheeks.

“The geese are early this year,” Levi remarks, giving Eren’s cock a squeeze.

“Mmm.” Eren lays his head back, their bangs brushing together in a tangle of black and brown. “Not many yet though.”

“No,” Levi agrees, finally sliding himself between Eren’s buttocks. He grunts at the sensation, his cock already leaking precome.

“Remember when we were at the ocean last?” Eren murmurs. “With the puffins?”

“Yeah.” Levi ruts against Eren’s ass. “Fuck.” He really should have jerked off before he got up this morning, but the folded piece of paper on Eren’s pillow had been something of a distraction.

Eren gasps as Levi begins stroking his cock, setting a rough but steady pace. Eren’s hands find their way into Levi’s hair, gripping tight as he keeps his limber body still for Levi’s ministrations. He looks like some kind of glorious, tanned statue, his muscles elegantly wiry, and not for the first time Levi marvels that this gorgeous young man wants him. Levi flexes his hand, using his strength to work Eren exactly how he likes it.

“Oh fuck,” Eren moans in his ear.

“Their nesting behaviour is fascinating,” Levi murmurs. “Burrowing into the ground like that? Talented little fuckers. And the way they pair up, s’almost romantic.”

“But—but is it as talented as the geese? You know, Armin thinks they migrate—”

“Who cares what Armin thinks?” Levi grips Eren’s hip and grinds into the cleft of his ass cheeks, which are growing slick with precome and warm with friction. “Fuck, I love you.”

“Ah!” Eren’s head falls forward. “I love you too. I love you so much.”

Levi feels himself grow hot, flushing with pleasure at Eren’s words. He never tires of hearing it, never tires of the sensation of Eren hooking into his heart and breaking it wide open, of all the emotions Eren pulls from him, of the way Eren makes him feel so alive. Damn it, he wishes he’d thought to bring the oil with him. He could go for a good fuck right now, could happily bury himself deep inside Eren and enjoy the view of the lake while he takes him hard and fast.

But who would have guessed Eren’s crazy crack-of-dawn treasure hunt would lead to this? Levi has all but forgotten his hunger. Breakfast can wait, he has a sexy young piece of ass to take care of. Beguiled, indeed.

“Faster, Levi,” Eren says. “Faster.”

Levi skims his palm over the slick head of Eren’s cock, luxuriating in the familiar soft velvet of his foreskin, the way his erection curves slightly to the left, the little ridged vein on the underside that Levi loves to lick, the one that drives Eren wild. He mouths at Eren’s shoulder with damp lips.

“Actually,” Eren says between gasps. “Mallards are mo—monog—monogamous too. Oh fuck, oh fuck!”

“You sound good,” Levi says. “Keep going.”

“But I still think… the geese are the most interesting…”

“Oh?” Levi twists his hand, pumping his own hips in a steady, rhythmic, fulfilling grind. His cock looks fantastic between Eren’s buttocks, swollen and red. He’d rather see it sinking deep into Eren’s entrance, slick with oil, but this is a good substitute. He releases Eren’s hip and grabs a palm full of ass cheek, loving the smoothness of Eren’s skin.

“Ah! Their migration… their migration is…”

“Eren,” Levi murmurs against Eren’s shoulder, desperate and wanting. “Why… why the fuck am I turned on by birds right now?”

“I don’t know!” Eren whines, thrusting into his hand. “I am too!”

“Shit,” Levi says.

Something very weird is going on. He can’t get the damn birds out of his head. When he peers over Eren’s shoulder, at the water-born flocks of ducks and geese, their feathers shining in the morning sun, the quacks and honks ringing out across the clear water, reminding him so much of the endless ocean— “Shit, shit,” he hisses, moving faster. “What’s going on?”

“I don’t—”

Something startles the geese, and they take off as one, a cloud of white wings into the sky. Levi and Eren moan in tandem, and Levi feels his whole body flush in arousal. The thought of Eren describing the way they slice through the air, majestic snow geese in full flight, the gentle voice he uses just for Levi in the depths of night undulating like soft velvet over words such as nesting and plumage and – fuck – allopreening, Levi can’t handle it.

He groans and spins Eren round, finally staring into wild green eyes. Eren looks just as confused and horny as he does, chest glistening with sweat, practically hyperventilating. Levi reaches a trembling hand down to stroke his cock, and Eren takes hold of Levi’s length.

Levi leans his head on Eren’s shoulder. “Damn it, Eren, I can still heard them flapping.”

“I know, I know,” Eren says, shuddering.

“You’re so hard.”

“I’m gonna—”

“Me too.” Levi can feel heat coiling in his stomach, and the head of his cock weeps as Eren’s hand flies over it. They know each other so well, and Eren moves his hand in long firm strokes, right down to the soft hair at Levi’s base,the sensation driving Levi wild. “Eren,” he moans.

That is when he feels it. He glances over just as a soft, white feather floats down from the sky and lands upon his shoulder, the barely-there tickle glancing over his skin like silk.

Levi’s knees buckle, and practically collapses into Eren’s arms with the strength of his orgasm. “Eren!” he cries out, overwhelmed.

At some point he is distantly aware of Eren taking over from his slackening hand, continuing to work his own cock. Levi leans heavily against him, murmuring encouragement as he rides out his own pleasure, still so aware of the feather on his shoulder.

Shakily, he reaches up to grab it, soft and white and gentle. Eren moans, guessing what Levi plans to do.

Levi reaches down, and brushes the feather over the tip of Eren’s cock.

“Fuck!” Eren’s come coats the feather and Levi’s fingers, then splashes down into the cold waters of the lake.

Levi watches the spectacle, unsure which of them is holding the other up. Eventually, their breaths slow, and he drops the soiled feather into the water. For long seconds, neither of them seem able to speak.

Levi swallows, and gently twists his fingers through the hair at the nape of Eren’s neck. “Eren—”

“I don’t—” Eren interrupts, then stops. A flush creeps into his cheeks. “That was… um, different.”

Levi can feel himself turning red in similar mortification. Birds. They both just got off to birds. He peers out over the lake, staring at the ducks and geese. They’re… birds. He feels nothing. He glances at Eren, and gives his hair a tug. He takes a deep breath. “It’s alright,” he says.

A duck quacks, and they both flinch. Levi closes his eyes.

What the hell just happened?

TO BE CONTINUED...

#monthoflove #eren x levi #danni's drabbles #danni's fanfic #x marks the spot

[aion-rsa]

The Suicide Squad Character Guide, Easter Eggs, and DCEU References

https://ift.tt/3ywaJGW

This article contains major spoilers for The Suicide Squad. We have a spoiler free review here.

The DCEU is alive and well and dividing its time between Corto Maltese and Belle Reve prison. James Gunn’s The Suicide Squad gives us the most DC characters in live action in any one movie ever assembled!

OK, fine, the vast majority of them die. And a fair portion of them most folks have never even heard of. But it still counts!

And yes, there are DC Comics Easter eggs in the movie, but perhaps not as many as you might expect. So we’ve decided to split the difference. We’re gonna give you the lowdown on all the characters, especially the obscure ones, and talk about what their existence in this movie means (or could mean) for the wider DCEU. And we’ll still give you all the DC Easter eggs we were able to spot. A real bargain, even though this article didn’t cost you anything! 

Let’s take it from the top (cue the Jim Carroll Band’s “People Who Died”)

HARLEY QUINN

What else can be said about Harley Quinn that we haven’t already said a thousand times? You know who she is, you know where she’s from, and you know all about Margot Robbie’s iconic, for-the-ages performance. 

And while the DCEU is pretty loosely connected these days, this is definitely the same Harley from the 2016 movie, although somewhat less male gaze-y in her attire, and one who has definitely moved on from her relationship with the Joker (who doesn’t even get mentioned in this film!). Harley already knowing Rick Flag, Captain Boomerang, and Amanda Waller is all the proof you need that this is a sequel to that film, however loose it may be.

Harley’s relationship status and attitude means that the events of 2020’s Birds of Prey movie also definitely happened, and they’re even referenced (albeit in passing). Hell, you could even say that Harley’s grand escape and the “Harley-vision” that accompanies it comes right out of some of the weirder moments of Birds of Prey. But that’s basically it. We’d like more of Robbie as Harley on our screens, though.

Read more

Movies

The Suicide Squad: Margot Robbie On the Enduring Appeal of Harley Quinn

By Kayti Burt

Movies

Margot Robbie Wants Poison Ivy to Join Harley Quinn in the DCEU

By Kayti Burt

What does Harley Quinn mean for the DCEU? Harley’s intro in 2016’s Suicide Squad helped establish that of all the characters kicking around the DCEU, Batman was the most experienced, as she, Joker, and Bats shared a history dating back several years. At this point, Harley is practically the linchpin of old DCEU continuity, and one of the last remaining cinematic ties to Ben Affleck’s portrayal of the Dark Knight.

BLOODSPORT

The version of Bloodsport we meet in this film bears very little resemblance to his comic book incarnation. The comics version of Bloodsport first appeared in 1987’s Superman #4 by John Byrne, and while elements of the comics character made it to the film, the guy Idris Elba is playing is quite different from his comics counterpart. Let’s start with the similarities…

The name, both the codename and his real name of Robert Du Bois? Check. The thing about him shooting Superman with a Kryptonite bullet? Also check. The rest? Ummm…it’s a loose interpretation.

Read more

Movies

The Suicide Squad: How Idris Elba Brings Bloodsport to Life

By Stephanie Williams

Movies

How The Suicide Squad is Different from Guardians of the Galaxy

By Mike Cecchini

Here, Bloodsport has a seemingly never ending arsenal of high tech weapons, which fold and collapse out of each other, meaning he’s seemingly always got the exact tool for the job. But in the comics, Bloodsport was equipped with a tiny teleporter (thanks Lex Luthor!) which allowed him to seemingly “materialize” whatever weapon he needed at any given moment. The comics version of Bloodsport was much less of a “purely competent badass” and much more of a tragic, traumatized, and deluded figure…and a mass shooter, to boot.

This isn’t quite a comics thing, but when Bloodsport throws his earpiece in disgust near the end of the film after having enough of taking orders from Waller and company, it’s vaguely reminiscent of the final shot in the first (and by far the best) Dirty Harry movie, when Clint Eastwood’s Harry Callahan, disillusioned with the constraints of the system, flings his badge and walks away.

What does Bloodsport mean for the DCEU? It’s a little frustrating to know that Henry Cavill’s DCEU Superman is still out there having adventures that we’ll probably never get to see. Cavill deserves another chance in the cape, damn it! Alas, Warner Bros. seems to have different (and very cool) plans for Superman on the big screen these days.

PEACEMAKER

Peacemaker is a weird character, folks. The character first appeared back in 1966, and wasn’t a DC character…he was published by the now defunct Charlton Comics, whose characters like the Question, Blue Beetle, and Captain Atom were later acquired by DC and folded into their own continuity. And you know what else those characters have in common? They became the inspirations for the main characters in Watchmen, with Watchmen’s Comedian functioning as a kind of adaptation of Peacemaker.

Comics Peacemaker is pretty different (except in looks) to the guy we meet in this film, though. Initially a pacifist using non-lethal weapons, he was reinvented by DC in the ‘80s as a bloodthirsty character with some serious mental issues. Namely, he believed that the souls of the people he killed were then trapped in his distinctive helmet and talking to him. Uhhhh…

Read more

Movies

The Suicide Squad: John Cena and the Secrets of Peacemaker

By Nick Harley

Movies

The Suicide Squad: Inside James Gunn’s DCEU Supervillain War Movie

By Mike Cecchini

He’s popped up a handful of times in DC continuity over the last 35 years, but there’s no version of the character you could safely consider definitive. He’s appearing in the current (and very good) run of DC’s Suicide Squad comics, as well. Like Bloodsport, the origin explained for him onscreen here has nothing to do with his comics counterpart.

What does Peacemaker mean for the DCEU? Well, he’s still alive (as we see in that post-credits scene) for starters. He’s also getting his own HBO Max series, which James Gunn is showrunning, writing, and directing quite a bit of. And since he’s still loyal to Amanda Waller, it would seem that any future Suicide Squad sequels will rest firmly on John Cena’s broad shoulders. 

RICK FLAG

Ah, Rick Flag, we hardly knew ye. Joel Kinnnaman gives Flag a much more likeable makeover in this film, and the character is even rocking a yellow t-shirt in honor of the John Ostrander-written Suicide Squad comics of the 1980s that influenced so much of this film.

In the comics, Rick was a career military man, like his father before him (we assume this is also Rick Flag, Jr. just like in the comics). Screen Rick’s sense of duty and honor would seem to indicate that’s the case here, too. 

What does Rick Flag mean for the DCEU? Well…unfortunately, he’s dead, so not much. Unless it turns out that Task Force X has been cloning Rick Flags for use on Suicide Squad missions for years or something, we don’t expect to see him again. In any case, that sure was an epic way for him to go out!

KING SHARK

Whoever thought that a ‘90s Superboy villain would become one of the most beloved characters of the blockbuster season? The Suicide Squad isn’t King Shark’s first foray into live action (that would be The Flash TV series) but this is easily his biggest stage yet.

Since his first appearance in 1994, King Shark has been a Superboy baddie, an Aquaman villain, has fought for the bad guys in assorted Crises, a kinda ally to a different version of Aquaman, and our personal favorite, a member of the Squad-adjacent team of antiheroes and mercenaries known as the Secret Six, where writer Gail Simone delivered some of the character’s most memorable and delightful moments.

Read more

Movies

The Suicide Squad: How King Shark and Starro Were Brought to Life

By Don Kaye

Oh, and when we first meet him he’s trying to read William James’ The Varieties of Religious Experience. But it’s upside down.

What does King Shark mean for the DCEU? Well…we would very much like to see him show up in Aquaman 2, known as Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom. It would be a tremendous missed opportunity if not, even if it’s just for a cameo. Don’t those weird/adorable/scary Clyrax just look like they were designed for James Wan’s Aquaman world?

 And c’mon, James Gunn’s next DC movie should absolutely be Secret Six, where King Shark is really most at home!

AMANDA WALLER

Viola Davis is a national treasure, and her Amanda Waller performance makes the character perhaps the most malevolent of all these kind of not-quite-good guys. Sure, we’ve had other live action Amanda Waller performances, but nobody captures the no-nonsense, morally gray Waller like Davis has here. 

What does Amanda Waller mean for the DCEU? At the end of the first Suicide Squad movie, we had that little tease of Amanda dealing with Bruce Wayne and General Wade Eiling. While the DCEU as a whole isn’t terribly connected these days, it would be great if we could see more of Davis’ Waller lurking in the shadows, pulling the strings, and maybe even putting events in motion that ultimately lead to the formation of that aforementioned Secret Six team…

That being said, we’re not holding our breath for it, either. Then again, it’s quite easy to imagine a world where Waller is taking a pronounced interest in someone like Black Adam coming out of hiding. 

STARRO

The villain of The Suicide Squad actually began life as…a Justice League villain! And not just any Justice League villain, the FIRST Justice League villain! Yes, Starro has been kicking around DC Comics since 1960 and the very first appearance of the JLA.

While kaiju-sized from the start, Starro’s very creepy ability to spawn spores that are essentially facehuggers didn’t come around until a post-Alien world. This suddenly made Starro a much cooler, and more in-demand threat, and despite there being 17 years between their first and second appearance, since then, Starro has become a regular pain-in-the-face for the entire DC Universe.

Thinker naming the creature “Starro the Conqueror” as a derisive nickname is a reference to how the character is referred to in the comics…and it was literally the text on the cover of its first appearance.

We get lots of imagery of group shots of “Starro zombies,” folks wearing the ol’ Starro facehugger. That’s a recurring image in the comics, and one that comes to mind is the cover of Justice League Europe #26.

Oh, and that’s Taika Waititi voicing Starro, in his second role in the film! (more on the other one in a moment)

What does Starro mean for the DCEU? Well, aside from the fact that we’ve been robbed of a Justice League vs. Starro movie now, there’s no reason to believe that we couldn’t potentially have Starro back. A spore could have escaped. Starro themself could be a giant spore of its own hivemind. 

And while it’s unlikely that we’ll get Starro as a primary antagonist ever again in a DCEU film, it would be pretty cool to see the creature or the species referenced in something like the upcoming HBO Max Green Lantern Corps TV series.  

CAPTAIN BOOMERANG

One of the few returning characters from the first film, Jai Courtney’s Captain Boomerang…dies pretty early in the movie. He’s even more gleefully over the top here than he was in 2016, which is pretty appropriate. Boomer was a founding member of the comic book version of the Squad (reluctantly of course) where he was always portrayed as the most dislikeable and abrasive of all the characters.

What does Captain Boomerang mean for the DCEU? His death here is a genuine surprise, though. Captain Boomerang has always been a pretty high profile Flash villain. And yes, we had that little cameo of him and Ezra Miller’s Flash in the theatrical version of Justice League, Courtney seemed destined to appear one day in at least a small role in some version of The Flash movie for WB. Alas, that now appears to be off the table. Ah, well…

THE THINKER

There have been so many different versions of Thinker in DC Comics history and…Peter Capaldi is playing none of them. Not a one. 

This is a brand-new (sorta) version of the character named Gaius Greeves. He looks like an unnamed version of Thinker who appeared in DC’s post-New 52 continuity in 2014, though, and that character definitely had a Squad connection.

What does Thinker mean for the DCEU? Historically, Thinker in various incarnations has been a Flash villain. Hell, a version of the character was the primary baddie on an entire season of The Flash! But like our pal Captain Boomerang, any hope of seeing Thinker match wits with the DCEU Flash are now over.

Although wouldn’t it be kinda cool if the DCEU gets around to introducing Jay Garrick and we learn that ol’ Gaius once had a beef with him? OK, fine, we’re not counting on it, either.

POLKA-DOT MAN

Poor Abner Krill couldn’t be more different than his comic book version…despite his remarkably accurate costume. Polka-Dot Man is a Batman villain dating all the way back to 1962, except there, he wasn’t the unfortunate recipient of an alien virus with grotesque polka-dot mutations and vomiting and…oh you get the picture.

Comics Abner Krill just had a costume full of trick, high-tech polka-dots. He um…he was not a major villain.

What does Polka-Dot Man mean for the DCEU? Other than the STAR Labs connection, and we believe this is the first mention of STAR Labs since the “Snyderverse” collapsed, not a hell of a lot. Abner is dead, and he ain’t coming back. Although it’d be pretty awesome if it turns out that it was Batman who put Abner away, since we know that in DCEU continuity Bats has been punching bad guys longer than anyone else.

RATCATCHER

Daniela Melchior’s Ratcatcher 2 is a brand new character created for this movie. We think she rules. However, if you’re looking for a comic book connection, we need to go back to her “dad” played in that cool Taika Waititi cameo.

Ratcatcher first appeared in a 1988 issue of Detective Comics, where he was a disgruntled former murderer who was kidnapping everyone responsible for putting him in prison, and holding them prisoner in the sewers. Oh, and he controlled rats. He was far less sweet and charming than either of our DCEU Ratcatchers. Oh, and that story has a panel where Batman vomits sewage because he nearly drowns in it. Good times.

But even that pretty malevolent comics Ratcatcher probably isn’t quite the Ratcatcher of the DCEU. After all, Ratcatcher 2 is named Cleo Cazo, and comics Ratcatcher was Otis Flanagan, and Otis didn’t seem nearly as sympathetic as Taika’s performance here.

What does Ratcatcher mean for the DCEU? Other than the possibility that this was someone else Batman put in Belle Reve? Not a lot. Although since Ratcatcher 2 lives on, we’d love to see her in another Suicide Squad movie, or make her a cornerstone of a live action Secret Six or something.

SAVANT

In the comics, as in this film, there isn’t a heckuva lot to say about Savant. What’s interesting is that he was a key player in one of Gail Simone’s earliest Birds of Prey storylines. Michael Rooker looks remarkably like his DC Comics counterpart in that wig, though.

What does Savant mean for the DCEU? Going forward? He’s dead, so not much. But in the past? Is it possible he ran afoul of Birds of Prey’s Huntress or Black Canary and that’s how he ended up in the Squad? We’d like to think so.

Also, one interesting bit about ol’ Savant. He started off as a guy who thought he could be a costumed vigilante. Of course, he was in it for all the wrong reasons and got a stern talking to from Batman and that set him on his life of crime. We’d like to imagine Ben Affleck’s Batman telling Michael Rooker’s Savant “you’re not morally equipped for this job,” just like he did in the comics!

TDK

“The Detachable Kid” is actually a riff on an obscure Legion of Super-Heroes and Legion of Substitute Heroes character named…Arm-Fall-Off Boy. I couldn’t make that one up if I tried, folks. His powers are identical, although his comics look is pretty different.

What does TDK mean for the DCEU? OK, so bear with me for a moment…what if TDK is actually from the 31st Century and ended up back here somehow before he found himself stuck with the Squad? Until they say otherwise, this is my headcanon. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to go write up a headline called “How The Suicide Squad Confirms the Legion of Super-Heroes in the DCEU” which will get me hate mail for the rest of the summer.

BLACKGUARD

Blackguard is a pretty minor DC villain, mostly notable for being the baddie in the very first Booster Gold comic! He’s a much beefier, more heavily armored character than the guy we get on screen here, but honestly…not much more interesting. And yes, his name really is Dick Hertz.

What does Blackguard mean for the DCEU? Look, if Blackguard exists, Booster Gold exists. I’ve been waiting for a Booster Gold movie forever now, and it’s long overdue. It’s time. Come to think of it, this would also be perfect for James Gunn to direct.

WEASEL

Weasel was a Firestorm villain from the 1980s who…was actually a dude in a weasel suit. A disgruntled college loser who took revenge on people later in years for uh, calling him a weasel back in their younger days. The character was later revamped as a more kind of, well, traditionally animalistic/weaselly figure, but the version we meet in this film has more in common with Bloom County’s Bill the Cat than any of his DC Comics incarnations.

What does Weasel mean for the rest of the DCEU? He’s still alive! Count your children! Bring on Firestorm! OK, but in all seriousness, Firestorm would look pretty cool on a big screen budget.

JAVELIN

Javelin was a Green Lantern villain, believe it or not. See, back in the day, Green Lantern was powerless against the color yellow, hence this guy’s color scheme. Flula Borg has a remarkably accurate translation of Javelin’s comics costume in this film, and the character is pretty much exactly as he was portrayed in his early comics appearances, cool accent and all. 

Amazingly, this is the second Watchmen connection of this piece (wait, what?). You see, Javelin was created by Len Wein (editor of Watchmen) and Dave Gibbons (co-creator and artist of Watchmen). So, not quite as direct a connection as Peacemaker, but a connection nonetheless.

What does Javelin mean for the DCEU? As far as I’m concerned, this is proof that Earth has a Green Lantern, despite the fact that we haven’t seen a modern day, human Green Lantern Corps member in official DCEU continuity yet. But someone had to put him in Belle Reve, and as far as I’m concerned, it’s Hal Jordan.

MONGAL

Mongal is a member of a warlike, and immensely powerful alien race. She’s also the daughter of Mongul, the ruler of Warworld and the villain of one of the greatest Superman stories ever told, “For the Man Who Has Everything” by the Watchmen creative team of Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons. Mongal um…didn’t live long in the comics, either.

What does Mongal mean for the DCEU? If Mongal exists, then this is proof that Mongul and Warworld exists. And once again, I am annoyed that Henry Cavill isn’t getting another shot as Superman. An adaptation of “For the Man Who Has Everything” would actually be a brilliant move for the DCEU, albeit a weird one. 

If Warner Bros. wanted to do something more traditional with the character, the Superman “Exile” story would also make for great big screen fodder, taking Superman offworld and into Mongul’s gladiatorial contests. Anyway…there’s two more DCEU Superman movies that should have happened for ya!

CALENDAR MAN

That’s Sean Gunn in a cameo as Calendar Man (yep) shouting “You fucking pussy” in Belle Reve.

What does Calendar Man mean for the DCEU? Hey, maybe we’ll get a live action adaptation of Batman: The Long Halloween one day! On second thought, maybe that’s not such a great idea.

DOUBLE DOWN

And right behind him? That would be Double Down, a playing card themed villain perhaps “best” known as a minor Flash villain.

What does Double Down mean for the DCEU? Pretty much exactly what you’d expect. Feel free to imagine he was locked up by Ezra Miller’s Flash, though.

JOTUNHEIM

The fortress known as Jotunheim here does indeed have a comics connection. It was the site of the comic book Squad’s very first mission in 1987’s Suicide Squad #1. That being said, the nature of the mission itself and even the location couldn’t have been more different than what we got in the movie, but it’s a nice little callback. 

It isn’t the only reference to that famed first issue, either! The yellow shirt Rick Flag wears throughout this movie (minus the logo) was also pioneered in that comic, and there’s also…

JOHN ECONOMOS

Steve Agee’s non-King Shark motion capture performance is as John Economos, one of Waller’s flunkys. In the comics, Economos is the warden of Belle Reve, and he also first appeared in Suicide Squad #1 which was written by…

JOHN OSTRANDER

Wait, John Ostrander isn’t a DC character! No, but he IS the person most responsible for the Suicide Squad as we know them. He has a cameo in the film as “Dr. Fitzgibbon.” This isn’t a DC Comics character, but it IS the second time Gunn has snuck a “Dr. Fitzgibbon” into his films…the other was in the first Guardians of the Galaxy movie when a Dr. Fitzgibbon was treating Meredith Quill as she was dying.

SENATOR CRAY

A throwaway line in the film refers to “Senator Cray,” and this is no accident either. Senator Joseph Cray was indeed a minor Suicide Squad character, who only appeared in three stories. He was corrupt, so the idea that anyone is playing golf with him in the DCEU doesn’t say great things about them.

CORTO MALTESE

DC fans will recognize the fictional nation of Corto Maltese from its central role in Frank Miller, Klaus Janson, and Lynn Varley’s incredible The Dark Knight Returns. From there, you’ll know it from its mentions in Tim Burton’s Batman movie and various namedrops on assorted Arrowverse TV shows. The Suicide Squad marks the first time we’ve spent significant time there on the big screen.

But the Corto Maltese name goes back further than The Dark Knight Returns. Miller named the fictional country after Hugo Pratt’s beloved comic book series featuring a sailor of the same name.

It doesn’t appear that Silvio Luna, Matteo Suarez, or the Herrera family depicted in the movie have any additional comics connections, though.

What does Corto Maltese mean for the DCEU? Well, if we ever get that live action Dark Knight Returns adaptation with Ben Affleck, this place will be a movie hotspot once again!

GBS

It’s always a nice touch when we see a TV broadcast coming from a GBS network. GBS is the Galaxy Broadcasting System, one of the biggest fictional news conglomerates in the DC Universe. It’s owned by Morgan Edge, who depending on what version of the character you’re looking at has connections to Darkseid and Apokolips (paging fans of Zack Snyder’s Justice League) or Krypton (hello Superman & Lois!).

What does GBS mean for the DCEU? Not much, but it’s popped up in several movies now, and it’s one of the few pieces of worldbuilding connective tissue still holding the DCEU together. 

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Spot anything we missed? Let us know in the comments!

The post The Suicide Squad Character Guide, Easter Eggs, and DCEU References appeared first on Den of Geek.

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#aion-rsa #Den of Geek

[queer-things-and-stuff]

KAL-EL CLARK KENT SUPERMAN SAVED ALL HUMANITY protects millions of people innocents CHAMPION AND HERO KRYPTONIAN AND TRUTH and tell me stupid that she poison ivy pamela isley eco-terrorist obessive by plants lesbian genocidal maniac and murderous bloodthirsty and kill all men is heroic eco-terrorist poison ivy kill the fastest in the world wally west flash booster gold michael carter and ted kord blue beetle and others and kill all men is right genocide for heroes in crisis eco-terrorist ?

I am really so fucking confused about what this means. It's rather unintelligible, but I'll do my best to decipher your seemingly angry ask. I mean this isn't even really a question, man damn.

So recently I've been rebloging Harley Quinn, Poison-Ivy, & Birds Of Prey stuff. I assume you don't like Poison-Ivy which, okay like whoever you want and dislike whoever you want Idc. I also assume you like Superman, which again, Is fine like I said Idc. What I don't get Is why you seem so angry rn. Like what is the question? Are you comparing the two and trying to put forth the message that Clark Kent Is better than Poison-Ivy because he's a hero?

I'm gonna be completely honest here and say that I never really (at all) followed Poison-Ivy's story line In comics or anything else like that, I like the relationship that I see portrayed between her and Harley Quinn (who I also never payed much attention to until Suicide Squad) In comics that I've only ever seen here on tumblr floating around on my dash.

Now on the topic of Superman, I really couldn't give less of a fuck about him and his life. I follow Supergirl, which only I started watching In the first place because I watched Melissa Benoist In Glee and wanted to see her again. I never cared about anything having to do with that part of DC (or really DC In general) up until I started watching Supergirl and even now with the 5th season coming up I still don't care about Superman, or Kal-El, or Clark Kent on any of the platforms he's been put out Into.

I like Supergirl much much more than him, I believe In her ideals more than I do his, and overall I have much more reason to like her In general. The only rendition of the DC universe that I know are the way things are portrayed In Supergirl, I've never been a die hard fan of the Kryptonian world, and I know quite alot about things now, but only the versions of thing's that I've seen In the show. The only things I know about the other parts of the DC universe are all the CW version, and I only really pay attention to, you guessed It, Supergirl !

So, If you want to defend Superman for whatever reason against Poison-Ivy than go ahead but I don't see the reason why you would do that to me. Find a more worthy opponent, buddy. Look for someone who's actually educated on Superman, and Gotham, and the DC universe overall.

This blog has never been and will never be about Superman, at the very least I've reblogged parallels of Supercorp and Clois, and a few things about Tyler Hoechlin who just seems like a nice guy. I reblogged Poison-Ivy because of Harley Quinn and the new Birds Of Prey movie, and I'm not going to stop because she's a villain and Superman Is a hero.

Anyways. Back to your regularly scheduled gay sadness and overposting.✌🏽

#ask #thanks for the ask i guess?

[snacksandcandy2]

I actually really loved new york. Both times. In winter 2009, crying in the snow in tomkins square park and listening to Nico’s voice urging me to leave in the fairest of the seasons. I was a terrible waitress. I liked stealing scarab beetle jewelry from that store in soho with all the bones and taxidermy. This was the end of a semi-shut-in phase with my aging hipster boyfriend/employer who never wanted to fuck me or talk to me, and when I tried to fix it, the lies I eventually unspooled from him just really bummed me out. They weren't even interesting lies, just...blandly sad. Like if your secrets are so dull, why bother keeping them.

Then soon after came one who I adored way too much for my own good, a film noir smooth operator 2 years my junior who acrobatically pinned me to the grimy velvet wall of a movie theater to lick my pussy on our first date. The kiss in the rain, broken umbrella. The cafe that only existed when it was raining. The expensive hotel and how it was half failure & half magic. He had a panic attack before we attempted to have sex, so we ate m&ms out of the minibar instead and confessed to each other that we had both been sexually abused as children. He was a popular writer on the internet when long-form essays were still the norm on this platform, and serious writers were getting their start on tumblr. actually a shy nerd who lived in a dorm at Rutgers, and I was a part time waitress who sold used underwear for pocket money, but we were very fancy together. When he met me in the city we looked up at the buildings and imagined our fantastical futures but still we were imagining separate things. He admitted he was just slumming it with me to make his Real Girlfriend jealous. When I visited him at college in Jersey he held my little chewed up paw and said, “when I’m forty and married and whatever else, I’ll remember you and your tiny hands.”

Then later, skip 2 years and some change. New life new battle scars. Drinking on the roof of the Met with my blue hair, blue like a ballpoint pen. wearing my expensive stilettos, feeling like the fanciest newly adopted stray with my new cool boyfriend who cooked for me every day, and loved Leonora Carrington’s art, and was always trying to sell me on this horrible cocktail called a negroni. He looked like disney’s fox Robin Hood if that cartoon fox wore blazers. And uh, he had a huge dick. Immediately I knew I’d marry him. 

But also. My weird, pervasive crush on James the other roommate, aka Holden Catfield (never meant as a dig, never an insult. Mild tease at best. He loved it and blushed and punched me in the arm.) Anyway he didn’t do much other than watch movies about government surveillance and he flipped the scrabble board when I won, and i always win. The perfect, hot, disgusting day at Coney Island. The ill-fated truncated threesome right before autumn started, squirming with whiskey sweat in the alternating hot and cool currents of air drifting from the open window, that's the last I remember. The Arthur Russell record James put on. “i’m A Little Lost”. Me blacking out and then coming to in the bathtub, crying and spitting venom. I don't remember why I was so mad. Maybe because. It could've been nice but I made it awful. Don't remember how one thing led to another that night, but it must have been my idea. Who else in that drunken trifecta would have thought up something like that? They seemed so close before that night, like brothers. Before that night I was rarely without one or both of them, former altar boys flanking their scraggly priestess. Things were awkward after. But I dressed up as James for Halloween, I was Holden Catfield in his tartan coat and dumb earflap hat with cat ears attached. He did not dress up as me. He went to Boston to visit his family of 7 siblings and dying father. 

The all night pharmacy in south slope with the bikini-wearing gremlin doll in the window. I was less of a shut-in this time around, but always ragged, my chameleon-changing hair falling out and breaking off at the scalp, swollen lips and black eyes because I needed to be hit too hard during sex when I was all fucked up and I couldn’t feel the sting through the suffering. How it had to be, then, because of everything that had happened to me before. Not knowing what good was meant to feel like.

On our first date when I met B in savannah I was crying and he said "did I make you cry?" I said, "No, this is from earlier. This is something else."

Moving in with fox Robin Hood was originally meant to be restful, but I couldn’t. Always crying in stairwells at parties, lying down in the snow and begging to be left for dead. As one does. 

Then I left with B for the healing lemonwater light of California. I ran through the hills with flowers i'd bitten off at the stem clenched between my teeth. "This is an act of magic" I'd think every time. I revived my cutting habit and called it bloodletting for magic. I mixed blood into my henna hair dye and swam naked in a lake with other witches.

And now we are leaving again. A new old city where people eat confetti off the street for breakfast and you never have to leave the bar if you don't wanna. Not New York. My best friend sold me on moving to New Orleans, she’ll show me all the best places to sniff poppers and eat hallucinogenic flowers and roll in the warm grass.

The Destroyer song with the lyric “I gave you a flower because foxes travel light”. The little hairs stand up on the back of my neck. Anyway. I want to visit new york again soon though, maybe before we settle into our new-to-us old city. “The Big Easy”, corny as fuck, funny place to go when you are small and difficult.

But back to New York. Central Park is like a highly trafficked airport for birds. So many birds from so many places, just passing through. More types of birds traveling through that hub of migration than anywhere else on earth, someone told me once (an annoying girl at an art installment in Marfa TX). So few birds native to the area. Obvious metaphor. I wonder if the pigeons look around at the other birds and go, "ugh. tourists."

On good days Ive strolled the upper east side in luxe incognito, trying silk dresses on at a sample sale like I belong there. Stolen framed bugs and fossils from that store in soho specializing in framed bugs and fossils. Slammed back shots in some gnarly dive wearing ripped tights and a dumb hat. Fallen out of cabs and said, "leave me here to die". Traced the old symbols carved into the old buildings with my leather gloved hand. Some birds are native to nowhere. Clawing and beaking at some alternate universe, smacking into the glass wall. I build temporary nests that I remember forever. I know all the best places to be sad.