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leefallengay · 10 months

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if I were you, I'd be throwing up

TW: depictions of gender dysphoria

TLDR: Quackity has a rough day at work.

(title from "If I were you, I'd be throwing up" by crywank)

It had been a long day.

An extremely long one.

Quackity had been at work since 5 A.M., and was exhausted. All morning he had been called “ma’am”, “miss”, and “young lady.” All he wanted was to rip off his binder, take a scalding hot shower, put on one of his boyfriends shirts, and crawl back into bed with them.

He sauntered through the dimly lit halls, closing himself into the bathroom. He quietly flicked on the light, removing his clothing as he made his way over to the shower.

He did his absolute best to stay focused, to not indulge. But the flash of color in the mirror to his left caught his attention.

He glanced over, eyeing over his figure, He was slim, but still had meat on his bones. He had prominent collar bones and wide shoulders. But what really caught his eyes were the mounds of fat hung off his chest. His wide hips, the thin waist, the rounded shape of his face, his almost too long hair that he’d been too lazy to cut. The way his groin was completely flat, the way his thighs were far too big, the way stretch marks adorned the inner sides of them. All of it was not what he wanted it to be.

Too feminine. Too womanly.

Don’t even get him started on his voice or mannerisms.

It’s no wonder he got misgendered at work all the time. He’d think that same thing if he didn’t already know himself.

He tore his eyes away from the offensive imagery, option to look back at the shower. He bit his lip harshly at the thought of having to continue being without his clothes for the next while. The thought of his body just being out there made him sick.

Begrudgingly, he climbed into the shower anyway. He didn’t take his time. He scrubbed rough and ruthlessly, rinsing off with water that was too hot to be good for his delicate skin. He ripped through his routine with haste, climbing out and drying off as quickly as his stiff and tired body would allow.

As he looked around, he realized he hadn’t thought to bring any clothes into the bathroom with him. Which means he’d have to walk out in just his towel.

The thought made his eyes water, his face scrunch, and his shoulders close in on him.

He took a deep, steadying breathe, and decided that he just needed to get this the fuck over with.

He whipped open the bathroom door with as much speed and stealth as he could muster, before stalking over to the shared bedroom where he was sure his boyfriends were sleeping. He paused in front of the door, looking down to make sure that the towel covered his entire body. He had it wrapped around himself almost like a blanket, covering all the areas he deems unworthy of being seen or perceived.

With one final once over, he slowly and cautiously inched the door open, tiptoeing over to their large closet, He grabbed down a black t-shirt with some emo band on it that Sapnap would rave about every once in a while, and a pair of boxers that comfortably hugged his frame, but not too tight to be overbearing. He also grabbed his back up binder- the one he saved for really dysphoric days.

After he’d grabbed what he backed out of the small room, and gently closed the door. He scurried back to the bathroom to reassemble himself, not even sparing a glance at his boyfriends.

He hurriedly pulled on his binder, throwing on the shirt over it. He relished in the way his chest flattened out, in the familiar pressure that provided him endless amounts of euphoria.

What he didn’t like though, was the aching, stabbing pain that accompanied it. But this was what he had to do if he wanted to be a real man, if he wanted to be seen as what he wished he was.

He trudged back over to the bedroom, carefully surveying the scene in front of him.

It was only around 11 A.M., so his boys were still fast asleep. They were curled up around each other, Sapnap’s mouth was open slightly, small huffs of air being pulled in and out of it. Karl’s eyes were barely open, peeking over at the ravenette with a small smile.

“Hey pretty boy. Want to join us?” Karl whispered sleepily, moving over to the side a bit to make room for him in between himself and Sap.

Quackity smiled, his heart fluttering with adoration.

He climbed his way in between the two, and despite his best efforts to move slowly, Subpoena still stirred. “Mmmh? Q, that you?” He grumbled, his tired eyes fluttering for a second before resting on his lover’s. “Hi sweetheart. How’s work?”

Quackity smiled at him, laying down and pulling the two closer to him. “It was work,” he mumbled. “Nothing new, haha.”

Karl leaned over Quackity, looking at him thoughtfully.

“What’s wrong, bub?” He whispered, cupping his face gently.

Quackity stared up at Karl, blinking at him warily.

“What do you mean? I’m fine.” He stated matter of factly, glancing over at Sapnap for some backup. But he only stared back with the same knowing look Karl was giving him.

Quackity looked back at the brunette above him, feeling as his hand trailed down his face, touching his neck, before brushing just under the collar of his shirt. He knew that Karl had felt his binder. He knew that they noticed it. He knew that they probably would before he even had the chance to settle in.

He instinctively recoiled, blinking his eyes rapidly to clear his blotchy vision. Karl’s stare softened, and both his hands came back to hold his face. His thumbs rubbed across his cheekbones, the feeling of wetness being smeared surprising him. He hadn’t even realized he’d started crying.

“Q, it’s okay to tell us when you’re having a bad day.” Karl whispered lovingly, his thumbs still running gently across his face.

Sapnap came into his view, “Yeah, we want to be here babe. All you have to do is say the word and we’ll do it, you know that.” He whispered, his tone filled with concern.

At that, Quackity let out a whimper, his eyes clenching close as he hunched in on himself again.

“But I’m fine! Literally nothing even happened today-”

Karl abruptly cut him off, his eyebrows furrowing. “Hun, if that were true, you would be wearing this,” he looked down at his chest emphatically, hinting at his way too tight binder.

“And you know that it isn’t healthy, especially after you worked a six hour shift with it on.” Sapnap piped up, running a hand through his hair gently.

Quackity looked between the two, at a loss for words. He was scared and tired and in pain. He didn’t know what to do.

Sapnap sighed, sitting up from where he was originally laying. “How about this; we take off the binder, and then you can be in the middle while me and Karl sandwich you. We can even kiss a little,” he winked.

Quackity gave a small smile in response, nodding his head.

“Good. Now come here sugar.” Karl gave a wide grin, yanking Quackity into his arms. He leaned over, beginning to plant copious amounts of kisses all over his face.

Sapnap joined in, kissing on his neck and shoulders. He then lightly shoved Karl off the giggling boy, aiding him in taking his shirt off.

“Is this okay, handsome?” Sapnap purred playfully, tracing his fingers along the edge of his binder.

Quackity glanced between the two, drawing his lip in between his teeth. “But, then I won’t look like a boy anymore.”

“Oh bub, is that’s what’s bothering you?” Sapnap said sympathetically. “You could have just said that, you dork.” He smiled, planting a kiss on his forehead.

“Yeah, pretty boy. How could we ever see you as anything else? I mean, look at your big, masculine shoulders! Your strong jaw, your manly eyes, the way your mullet makes you look so boyish.” Karl giggled, running his hands all over him to emphasize his point.

“We could never see you as anything less. You’re our boy. Our sweet, manly, goofy boyfriend.” Sapnap leaned in and gently kissed him on his lips. Karl leaned in to plant more kisses along his jawline.

“Really? Because I sound so girly and my hips and waist scream ‘woman’ and everyone who doesn’t know me just thinks I’m a girl and-”

Karl cut him off with another kiss to his lips, effectively silencing him. “Shh, love. Those are people who don’t matter. What matters is how you see yourself, and those you care about see you. Don’t worry about some stranger you’ll never see again.” He smiled, running a soothing hand through his hair once again.

“I… I guess you’re right. But just go slow, okay?” He whispered, nervousness seeping through him.

Sapnap nodded, carefully tucking his fingers under the band around his ribs. He gave it a gentle tug, while Karl guided his arms up. He pulled the tight fabric up from around his torso, over his arms and shoulders, before tossing it onto the floor. He grinned at Quackity.

They absolutely loved how Q looked. Loved his curves, the marks, the way he got anxious at the idea of being vulnerable but trusted them with these kinds of things anyway.

Sapnap leaned down, trailing kisses over his collar bone. “Is this okay, duckling?” he whispered, getting a curt nod in response. He trailed his kisses down, showering his supposedly ‘unworthy; and ‘feminine’ body with adoration and affection. Karl followed suite, continuing his kissing on Quackity’s face.

“We love you, pretty boy” Karl mumbled in between kisses. “So much.”

“So,” kiss, “so,” kiss, “very,” kiss, “much.” Sapnap let out a hearty laugh, curling himself into the boy comfortingly.

“I love you guys, too.” Quackity beamed, eyes falling shut in contentment.

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poltergeistpanda · 1 year

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The lines are still on his face, an elegant pattern in blue, illuminating his face, his eyes, his hair a mess from the fabric shoved haphazardly over his head. Wolfwood wants to laugh at him, but Vash looks frantic now, when he sees his reflection in the undertaker‘s glasses, he keeps grabbing at his cheeks, trying to hide himself behind his hands and Wolfwood catches a glimpse of glowing skin on his wrist when his sleeves ride up on his arms. They are all over his body, fuck. „Fuck. Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck…“ Vash topples onto the bed and just… folds into himself, hands clasped over his face and voice miserable, the cussing a continuous stream falling from his lips. There is panic in his voice, a trembling sound, too close to tears, powerfully overwhelming, breathless. He keeps making these tiny little hiccups, gasps that leave the other man in the room helpless.

Or: The aftermath of the Sandsteamer incident leaves all of them in a state, most of all Vash and in the end, it's up to Wolfwood to pick up the pieces.

#trigun stampede #vash the stampede #nicholas d wolfwood #pre!vashwood #trigun stampede ep7 spoiler #this is very tender face worship beware #hurt/comfort #mostly comfort though #i had a feeling and channeled it itno fic instead of writing my thesis #AS I SHOUD #i wrote wolfwood waxing poetic about Vash being a walking christmas light instead of analyzing child poverty in the face of inflation

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ichthyorelationships · 1 year

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an idea i invite anyone else to write about / run with lol....

the premise that The Change gets all messed up for alberto, say it's something that can happen from stress, &/or happens rarely and you just have to wait for it to resolve itself....used as some parallel to struggling through some emotional turbulence / upheaval / questioning / Realizing Things, etc etc

#luca 2021 #pixar luca #alberto scorfano #another idea i've failed to write for & so invite anyone else to run with: ciao alberto but what if he peaces out by swimming off lol #ends up in a coastal town maybe an hour's swim from genoa. but not Getting In Touch w/anyone for a while b/c plausibly he thinks that #giulia may not be a fan of him now by extension; just being too embarrassed asf to reach out to luca kinda lol....luca off doing his own #thing just fine & alberto not wanting to write him now like b/c i Ruined Everything again ahaha....#and by ''not in touch w/anyone for a while'' who knows. months; a few years even....might stumble across news of him b/c like.#say more sea folk are coming to land / more humans know abt them & not many places are as [harpoon]ly from the start anyways #portorosso exceptional in that way....maybe where alberto settles down they're like legendary but also considered Good Luck anyways lol.#anyways like some people know of him who might; say; swim down to portorosso. have their own teen who knows a teen who mostly lives on land #most convenient re sparking [wow could they mean Our alberto] if he doesn't go so far as to take up an alias lol. but why would he....#that difference in that massimo might figure that however alberto was surviving before; he could continue to do so now; but even though tha #is some comfort it's still Not Actually Enough....feeling way more Parentally towards alberto than his biological dad like that; obv #and anyways re: this [The Change gets messed up] idea it's more of an inconvenience lol but one that could still have some significance #like if he first finds out the issue exists via hopping right into the ocean; failing to change forms; never being human form'd in water b4 #thee worst....crash intro course to the experience of drowning. observation of How Humans Swim / being able to grab any part of the boat...#and besides That unpleasantness it's like; hey. where's my nonhuman form at #or; of course; being in sea form even while dry....especially if he's still dealing with Nonsense on land. which is presumed.#&/or if there's an upswing in nonsense b/c of Other ways you're Othered...ofc we can consider like; tfw you're a gay fish & maybe that's no #something that on its own would be like Aah until it's like well a) i kinda wanna do things that would make this Visible and b) i've learne #that humans also Have Issues about this kind of thing....#appropriately my tablet was also all thrown off. no pressure sensitivity; input sensitivity overall was rough #but i would've had to restart my laptop about it lol like eh i'll just work around it

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dylanconrique · 7 months

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lucy waking up from a nightmare about her DOD and being comforted by tim is so detrimental to me. i need it more than the oxygen that fills my lungs.

#*and this is icarly!#the rookie #tim bradford #lucy chen #chenford #otp: you know me so well #ik lucy is as tough as nails and is mostly over her kidnapping by now #but i imagine in the couple weeks leading up to the anniversary date every year she starts having nightmares about it again #and now that they're officially canon tim will be there to comfort her through it #i can so clearly picture lucy gasping up in bed #tim immediately shooting up right behind her and sushing her and giving her sweet reassurances #while she mumbles partially asleep something about not being able to breathe or 'no don't close the lid'#which absolutely shatters tim as he lays her back down and holds onto her #he always manages to soothe her back into slumber at the cost of his own good nights rest #as long as he knows lucy's well taken care of though he doesn't care #GOD I FUCKING MISS THEM AND I NEED THIS FOR S6 #I NEEDED IT LIKE YESTERDAY

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ctl-yuejie · 1 year

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ramblings on Li Ming (and Heart) and homosexuality

moonlight chicken has so many things to offer in terms of technical beauty and interesting themes but what i cannot stop thinking about is the different ways they approach homosexuality in the story.

we have Wen who has a rainbow flag on his desk and pictures of him and Alan on the wall. Wen, who openly flirts with Jim and has no qualms talking openly about his one night stand. Wen, whose step father knows about his sexuality and is close enough with him to discuss his love life.

Kaipa we don’t know too much about. But his mom knows and is supportive and some of the vendors and the chicken family seem to know. But if anyone was questioning in what reality this show is set with all the class discussion and corona featuring, his part of the story shows that homophobia exists and he is worried about how he fits in with his own family, the expectations of his mother and possible the awareness that he makes the family he has “different”.

Jim is arguably even more visibly gay than Wen in terms of what we see throughout the show. He opened the shop with his ex, they prayed at the temple together and even though he objected due to proprities sake eventually they loudly declared their love to each other and the whole neighbourhood knows. Wen somehow feels like he is living in the remnants of a bubble: his circle of friends seems very queer, his closest friend and the whole gym seem to be all part of that as well. This only might change now with him questioning his work and breaking up with Alan: some gatherings he won’t attend anymore apparently.

And finally, we have Li Ming. At school he doesn’t seem to open up to his classmates on most things and additionally is in the closet. While there wasn’t anything alluding to homophobic rethoric being spread at school we can see how the heteronormativity gets to him and feel that there must be good reason as to why no one knows. And it could just be how Li Ming is judging the situation based on vibes, we don’t know. His mother is or at least was homophobic but at the same time he is raised by his gay uncle who is surrounded by other gay people. And I love how it feels like this might have given him enough security to be comfortable with his own sexuality but how it also isn’t enough to shield him from the world at large.

With so many great shows coming out of Thailand and most of them getting more and more political it just feels so real and 2023 to me that Li Ming is part of a generation that knows who they are but still have to battle with the shadow that homophobia has cast way before they were born.

#moonlight chicken #i had this in my draft for a week now thinking if i'd get the time i could put this more leloquently but that was a lie as it turns out #might edit some stuff later #but for now i just have to write about how fantastic this show is for giving these varied realities of queer life #which are all influenced by their environment but also in the way the characters connect across generations #we don't know if him had a gay mentor who could've guided him #whereas li ming technically has him and his neighbourhood friends to reference #but li ming - understandibly so - seems more closeted than anyone else (minus Heart possigly)#in middle school everyone around me proclaimed how supportive they were of lgbt+ rights #but as soon as one guy came out he become the TALK of the school for weeks #he got reduced to his sexuality #and when he dated a girls some months after he got called attention seeking for coming out as gay before #and most people thought they were doing an open-minded thing #and despite knowing that i know that i am not the only queer kid who decided to not come out lest we'd become that talk of the whole school #and our dating lives scrutinized #even though all of us were super comfortable with who we are #and for me that was mostly the case because i had adult lesbian role models close to my family #so i knew i was good and that nothing strange was going on #but still - this othering made the school environment hostile enough to keep me in the closet #so yes - i am extremely delighted with how they depict this dynamic with li ming

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forestlovesyou · 2 months

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might be kinning Tohya but in a trans allegory way like

"Someone died in me who isn't me and sometimes i feel like it's a 'her or me' situation where i'm scared for my own right to exist, but other times i feel like she's the ghost of a poor girl who deserves to be comforted and put to rest"

#sorry if this seems to much of a stretch i mostly just see him and his struggle as comforting in my experience #umineko #umineko spoilers #umineko ep 8 #tohya hachijo #trans experience #enby #sort of a vent #but like a soft vent #i kinda teared up when searching for a pic for this post and thinking about this generally though aughh

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peachyhoneyadventures · 2 months

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EDOLISSE AND VARRICK

These Hands, If Not Gods by Natalie Diaz | Still from When A Man Loves (1927) | Snippet from Richard Siken's "Crush" | Still from Lodger (???) | Poem from Margaret Atwood's "You are Happy"

#a lot of references to religion though that's probably mostly on Edolisse's part #I imagine Edolisse and Varrick's attraction to each other is a little superficial in the beginning #she's clearly a very pretty twenty something and Varrick doesn't want to hold her back #Rabbitt themselves said that Varrick is worried about getting involved with the LDB due to not wanting to burden them #On Edolisse's end she's only really hung up on her past relationships #Her late husband and the nature of his death is still a fresh wound that takes a long time to heal #So they really start to relate to each other when they talk about their pasts and their previous partners #Both their previous partners had been killed and they both sort of blame themselves for it #Though most of Edolisse's partners have died so she's terrified something will take Varrick away from her too #It takes awhile but she starts to see his strength #both physical and mental strength #she starts to get comfortable with the idea of being with him then falls hopelessly in love with him #While they don't have an extremely long life ahead of them (Varrick is an older man after all) Edolisse is determined to make it last #web weaving #The credits to the other quotes are in the images themselves and I am LAZY #WickVeil #Edolisse Wickham #Varrick Veil #tes v skyrim #tesblr #At this point I feel a little bad for clogging up the Varrick's tag with my bullshit :(((#I JUST THINK OF THEM A LOT OKAY?

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petr1kov · 6 months

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i understand there still is many shallow and bad faith criticisms directed at the early disney princesses because pointing out how they don't measure up as well to today's standards became easy clickbaity talking point, a sentiment that is being repurpused by disney in order to promote their more recent movies as being 'not like the other ones' because their princesses are girlbosses now when they're not outright attempting to correct the original movie in their shitty remakes. everyone rightfully is sick of it by this point, and that's definitely happening to the upcoming snow white remake too right now, but. seeing some of the reactions to it, i do think that we have circled back to overcorrecting when it comes to this this resulting in equally baffling takes about these characters being common right now.

i mean yeah, rachel zegler saying that her snow white dreams of being a leader instead of being with the prince because she's a girlboss now is not good, but that doesn't mean that the original movie version of her wasn't this bizarre idealized vision of what a perfect woman should be and act like. we can argue that she was a young abused girl all we like, defend and analyze her portrayal through these lenses, but at the end of the day, snow white is just not a real person. and she was quite explicitly written to represent something - the ideal woman - and that something does have a lot to say about the culture that created her, which traits were valued in women at the time (youth, purity, passivity, motherly nature, the very white skin that's in her name), and it doesn't look great. as much as we like to make fun of modern disney, it's still ridiculous to ignore something as obvious as that about their older films, i think

#doesn't mean btw there isn't anything of worth an abuse victim might take out of these stories #these are the situations they are portraying and to someone who who feels helpless and trapped they might be very comforting. still #ppl saying 'she wasn't waiting for a prince to save her' she was though. literally the first song she sings is about that lol #cinderella is actually more in line with that because the prince really was an afterthought to her #AND she had more of a backbone and even complained about about her exhausting routine #still even her does fall under a similar category because she does also represent an ideal woman #both are rewarded by the story in the end mostly for their beauty and good behavior

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vargaslovinghours · 11 months

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Vargas IX, now with touch screen capabilities! (1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8)

That’s what it says on the tin....right?

And that’s what we like about him

He wins Rudest, 20th year in a row!

No Russian endearments, this is bullying >:0

Can you tell I was out and about lol, all I had were kids menu crayons and he still turned out cute <3

Their bunnies! It really is lucky that their colours are easy to find in crayons haha

Some vent :( They are always good for it ♥

Don’t want closeness, the hurt is too overwhelming to even touch

Always bothering him when he’s trying to sleep

That could be taken a lot of different ways honestly. Edgar just so done haha

Ahh, that way ♪ I like how the blanket pulled over his head turned out haha, that won’t muffle him at all!

Return of the Style Challenge! An Edgar off the heels of my KoiBo studies, extra hair floof ♫

A quick and silly Fairy!Edgar as a spacefiller; had a glimpse of an AU idea after rewatching Ferngully lol, Zak looks a bit like Jake I think

I actually doodled this one last year but didn’t scan it in until recently :0 - I’d planned to turn it into a minicomic but the page got away from me and turned into something else unrelated haha

Uh oh, Nny brainrot, here it comes

As if he would be worried~

God can’t save me now ♪ Your Boyfriend gives me so many Nny ideas, how dare <3 This song was already Edgar’s (so much) but now it’s his too! How dare!!

More ideas from that^ video, what’s a bit of casual dismemberment intention among friends

That felt-tip makes him twitchy

Uh oh

His nails are so sharp he barely needs to grip to pierce flesh

That was very on-purpose though. His harsh word bubbles really are fun to draw, like they're bolted and nailed together ♪

Poor Edgar :( Not that this would've ended well for him either way, but it's not like he was trying to make it worse! Though, this is probably better, maybe

Ew, gross >:|

Probably nothing that would de-escalate, so. No.

Kinda free-bleeding over here, ow, please stop :(

Oddly gentle touch, considering the literal blood on his hands

Just gonna lightly dig around in your arm, don't worry about it. He's really barely touching him, blood giving his fingertips a smooth glide

He tapped back into his mind and got a bit stuck there, words kinda sorta. Surprisingly it’s not that comforting!

Scriabin is not having a fun day :( Edgar, no, stop excusing him!

"Why did I do that??" Maybe something to do with a waste-lock? :3c

Haha, as soon as they're directly out of danger, Scriabin's right back to sassing him, not so scared or small now huh

"Since you have a habit of collecting scars from him. Stop that, by the way."

Drawing his arm bandaged was just too fun! Bleeding through it, poor lad <3

More missing words, he meant to ask "What are you reading?" but Edgar told him anyway haha. Founder of the modern-day emoticon!

Sad Edgar for some comfort doodles <3 Seems backwards sometimes lol, but if it works!

"Pay attention to me instead of whatever's making you upset." Poor thing, even Scriabin just coming up to him makes him jump

Kisses <3 I really like the one of Edgar trying to dodge him hehe, no kiss! Yes kiss

Always a surprise, somehow

Something nice?? Who is this??? It was all a trick and ploy, don't flatter yourself >:0

Haha, the original Extremely scuffed doodle for this year's personal Vargasversary - as long as Edgar's squished, it all works out!

Wanted to draw Edgar as a pierrot clown out of the blue, he looks so cute! The big fluffy buttons and the floofy collar and eye makeup :D Cute!!

He's no simple clown! He's an complete comedy routine, straightman and fool in one!

But I mean, what does that say towards Scriabin's taste lol, he's already confirmed morosexual so ♪

Back to the Nnyspam, don't mind me

A reasonable request, he's skin and bones anyhow

A reasonable reply! Not an opposition exactly, just would prefer to know what to expect

As much as I can get to Poor Nny haha, he’s just so confused. "How did I get here." Meanwhile, Edgar tries really hard to not get his hopes up lol

Chatting about the weird exchange with Scriabin later - is this something they experienced together and are just talking about now, or did he go to Nny's alone?? Doesn't matter, Scriabin's gonna monologue about it

Haha, Edgar having some kind of Awakening thanks to Nny, again

He's always talking

More blobs! Scriablobin being annoying, of course <3

Went through a Tamagotchi-interest and decided to try and make some 32x32 resolution lads <3 Would take care of them, even if we all know Scriabin would beep even when he doesn’t need anything, he’d definitely run on the Devilgotchi OS lol

Back to the crying-kissing idea, set it down and picked it back up. Both just exchanging mini-barbs, sweet-nothings laced in thorns <3

Hehe they turned out so cute here ♥ Tastes like [soggy bread] and [affection]

An odd one of Edgar telling Scriabin off and manhandling him. Though maybe the latter isn’t as odd haha

I just wanted to doodle Edgar swearing at him haha. What would get him so riled to do so!

Family time, snuggles on the couch <3 Todd's completely enraptured by the glow of the television screen, ignoring cuddle time

*You hear the sound of canoodling in the background

Got a little too loud and got shut down haha

What happened?? Could've sworn they were just all over each other! That was the problem!

Welp, there's February through May again :) It's an ever-slowing momentum, but dang if it wasn't a powerful initial force lol

#💟#Doodles #Art #Edgar #Scriabin #Nny #Todd #Shmee #Sketchdump #Blood #It's a very Edgar-heavy sketchdump this time! I mean. Other than how much Nny appears there's just so much Nny #So look out for that - especially on the blood front lol #Other warnings uhhh mostly just Nny weirdness - no it's not a vore thing don't look at me like that #Little bit of vent - And the usual Edgar/Scriabin silliness <3 #There's also like a Bunch more minicomics this time and I actually edited them seperately! Woah!#The big Nny one in the middle is a complete thought - though I would love to return to Scriabin sassing Edgar when he feels safe haha #The kiss one still has some missing panels - it was split into two sections for what I think are interesting reasons #The initial inspiration came from when I woke up horribly anxious for some reason and y'know - they're comfort characters so #But I couldn't touch a thought with them other than Scriabin being gentle and comforting Edgar it was extremely strange #Afterwards I was fine! But for a moment that's all I could handle so I gave it to Edgar lol #Lots of other silliness ♪ I actually really love clown motifs but only if they're Pierrot lol Pierrot is perfect!#And then the Gotchi stuff hhhhh <3 <3 Yes I know 32x32 isn't the correct resolution shhh look don't worry about it #I have since learned as I've delved deeper into the fixation lol - and I got myself an actual Devilgotch <3 <3 <3 I'm so excited about it <#Absolutely going to be thinking of Scriabin when it prank-beeps at me lol #Oh yeah and for Edgar swearing at Scriabin? I made an initial panel but it was a little too vague :P #It's You Can't Live Like This themed if that's any indication except Scriabin's being a self-destructive brat #So y'know - the usual lol #Finishing off with more silliness - it's been a very gentle last several months (other than the Nnyspam shh) lots of silly soft ideas :)#Cute things abound ♪

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transingthoseformers · 2 months

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Thinking all day about earthspark Megatron in heat and he's either trying to work his way through it or he's compelled to stuff himself in as isolated and comfy space possible

#valveplug #mostly #tfe megatron #i just want him to Go Through It a little #he'll get his comfort though #.... eventually.

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vendarkoe · 7 months

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playing slow damage rn why'd they have my beautiful genderqueer king cut off his hair at the end of his route what are we doing to our queens

#slow damage #this is mostly in jest but if he was gonna get a more masc haircut WHY BUZZED . ? BABY U DESERVE BETTER #loved rei's route though but idk i think the. gender binary dichotomy stuff couldve been handled better ig #but this is a whump yaoi vn i wasnt expecting anything LOL #on to madarame route !!! (i dont want to do it)#i loved towa so much in rei's route though hes rlly just a little guy going through the horrors #trying to comfort his friend by offering a back alley bj like #girl we are gonna get BOTH of you some therapy #my only real problem is they had to redeem rei's dad a bit at the end #like are we not allowed to just let deadbeat dads die #rei is allowed to feel conflicted about it but me as a player personally i wish he died . !! anyway

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xysidhequeen · 7 months

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Since Danny opened up his trauma to Jason, did he ever comfort Danny whenever he had nightmare of his parents doing things on him?

Jason has comforted Danny after and during nightmares. Not all of them, he doesn't catch them all.

Sometimes Danny's nightmares are loud. Sometimes they're ice crackling out from him in waves, covering his room and the hallway and Jason just knows. He busts through the ice and the doors between him and his hurting king, melting the ice with his flames until he can finally get to Danny and wake his frozen body and remind him he's safe, he's whole, he's alive. Sometimes his nightmares are deafening, they're a Wail shattering walls and ceilings and everything around him. Sometimes Jason has to push his body one slow step at a time into the middle of a hurricane, bleeding and hurt but not half as hurt as his screaming friend.

But sometimes Danny's nightmares are silent. They're quiet because screaming didn't help. Screaming made it worse. Noise brought their attention back to him. Pleas and cries and screams made them angry, angry he was using their son's voice, their son's body. So sometimes Danny is quiet, locked in a silent prison of his own mind and the only way Jason can tell is if Danny didn't pull his aura entirely back into his body and he's able to feel the pain.

Danny has gotten better about locking his aura down as his mind slowly realizes he doesn't need to anymore, that he doesn't need to be in survival mode and he can make the subconcious decision to ask for help because he knows it'll come.

But sometimes the fear is stronger. And on those nights, Danny is alone.

#tw abuse #tw nightmares #tw vivisection #tw experimentation #its all just mostly hinted at though #nothing graphic #but im warning just in case so we all stay safe #danny is dealing with trauma too in the background #cause trauma healing isnt a linear journey #and somwtimes you never fully 'heal' because trauma rewires you it rewrites your entire brain it burns new pathways in #anyways this reminded me to add a scene with a nightmare into the story somewhere #gotta have that cute traumatic angsty hirt comfort moment where Danny is in Pain and Jason comes kicking the door down #I really struggle to hurt Jason but man am i mean to everyone else #Jason is my baby child and he cant be hurt. everyone else is free game to me though lets goooooo #zee answers #dp x dc #the king and his red knight #the king and his red knight au #tkahrk #tkahrk au #danny phantom #dc x dp #dpxdc #dp x dc crossover #dead on main #halfa jason todd #jason todd/danny phantom #jason todd/danny fenton #also yes Nocturn could technically fix it but Danny asked him not to monitor his dreams too much and Nox respects his autonomy #usually. sometimes if danny's having itnreally rough he'll ensure danny has good dreams. he tries but he can only do so much

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moe-broey · 6 months

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👁️👁️ INTERESTING...............

Idk if I feel like hunting for it but I do think it's VERY interesting that Ginnungagap's map is the World of Steel (thinking of that one scene where you get a glimpse of it in Book 4, once the Kiran kinning Alfonse twist is revealed) ALSO is interesting that it's in ruins, if I remember right the people in the World of Steel don't dream in exchange for a life of comfort and luxury (which! I personally like to retcon for my own purposes LMFAO but canonically speaking! HM......... the being of nothingness residing in a realm that can't dream......)

#fire emblem #feh #it would be nice to see things aren't as they seem as they were presented to us #mostly for entirely selfish reasons LMFAOK like what do you mean. comfort and luxury. bitch.#it's capitalism over here.#idk maybe kiran comes from an entirely different timeline actually. the only way i'm accepting that explanation.#i am! very intrigued though!!!#ginnungagap

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justslowdown · 6 months

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commune based on eating disorders?!? oh no i hope you’re okay now!!

Yeah. Yeah, Oregon mountain eco-cult

They brought me in because of the offer of housing out here on a limited timeframe. I thought we had base goals in common--a genuine passion for raising food, a love for animals, horror with capitalism and industrialized food production, a need to build real community

Turns out the leader is a textbook narcissistic disorder, paranoid, deeply mentally ill person who feels every problem in the world right now can be fixed by people eating different food. She believes she has a duty to intensely and harshly criticize and "educate" everyone around her and has even alienated her own family besides her husband and teen kids. Who all spend their time online, depending on the labor of people placed in a farmhand/The Help situation.

I was worried when a friend visited and had a fast food bag in the car they could see. I felt guilty for keeping my trailer above 50 degrees or showering for more than 5 minutes. I felt guilty using my energy to take walks and runs, even though that was waking me up to aliveness again. I was "helped" by her telling me if I wanted to build muscle I needed to stop doing cardio and use their exercise equipment instead. But not too late at night! Because I was harming the community by going to sleep at midnight. So of course she had to tell me in detail how if I changed my diet, I'd behave just like them one day 🙃

It took me a long time to realize, no matter how often and clearly I spoke up, the patterns weren't going to change. I did learn a lot about advocating for myself.

We had The Big Talk and I realized I couldn't stay. I am so thankful that Thax was there on speaker phone, not participating but hearing what came out of these peoples' mouths. That's what it took, someone else finding their behavior genuinely disturbing and inhumane

It was really scary for a little while, though, not knowing where I'd go. I'm relieved and safe now living at the kennel i work at. And am appreciated for my strengths finally! It's just that with 4 dogs, even most options to park an RV (a generous gift of some kind of security) were a immediate no. That's why my options were so limited in the first place and why I was so grateful to them.

#it goes #again #far far deeper than this and so many things were a lot more concerning #but they would take too much context and even trying to put myself back there mentally is leaving me feeling small and stupid #like... even on health insurance and able to finally theres no way id have felt comfortable getting top surgery there #because even though everyone was queer and mostly nonbinary #they felt gender affirming surgery made you complicit and perpetuating the gender binary so it was inherently oppressive

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comfort-questing · 3 months

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4. "obedience"

"we won't be long," she said, her eyes on the distant hills where they melted into mist and cloud.

"don't tell me it's not dangerous," they said, from under the edge of the blanket they were sharing across their shoulders. "going out beyond the fort line always is..."

"yes," she said, simply, and huddled closer, against the fine spitting rain from above. the uneven stone of the wall beside them made partial shelter from the wind, but the warmth of another body was worth far more than that, and for more reasons. "but you know, that's what we're here for, after all."

they sighed. "but come back to me," they said, into her hair, drawing her closer. "come back to me, all right?"

"I will."

two weeks later, the autumn rains had deepened, filling the low creekbeds among the scrublands to overflowing; the last of the leaves on the wind-twisted trees had withered or fallen, brown among the grasses.

they weren't the only one waiting, nervous and jumpy as the days went on. fourteen days, fifteen, more. but in the end the shout did go up from the folk on watch, and the trailing line of packhorses and scouts winding their way through the foggy valley drew nearer.

there'd been trouble. even before the gates opened that was clear to be seen, their pace slow on the march homewards, folk leaning on their comrades or riding with assistance on the backs of the horses, the quiet in the front courtyard turned to sudden tense activity, hurrying to help the injured, to take count of the missing, to hear reports of whatever had gone wrong.

they couldn't find her. they couldn't find her, their eyes going from place to place frantically across the chaos; and then suddenly they did, a familiar flash of auburn hair, of a faded green hood slipping back as a limp body was handed down from one of the riders.

they were there in a moment, by her side, taking over at the head of the stretcher she was laid on. her eyes were closed, the bloodless pallor of her face contrasting horribly with the red-stained bandages wrapping her arm and shoulder.

"wake up," they begged her, on the way to the infirmary. "wake up." but she didn't answer. not then.

not till later did she answer - hours later, in the dim hours between day and night, blinking open heavy-lidded eyes in a face drawn with pain. her eyes found their face above her, her fingers tightening on theirs atop the blankets.

"you woke up," they said, numbly, "you came back - "

"of course I did," she murmured, "you told me to, didn't you."

#whump #hurt comfort #febuwhump day 4 #febuwhump 2024 #lady whump #yeah I'm back from camping and we all had a good time mostly #narrowly missed getting snowed and iced on in the mountains though!#and it's a really good thing our tent didn't leak during the thunderstorm that first night #watch THAT whole thing show up sometime this month in a prompt haha

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