#michael sheen needs all the awards because you can SEE him thinking if he's really made the right decision just by his eyes | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

fuckyeahgoodomens · 2 months

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Very funny Staged-like opening of BAFTAs 2024 with David and Michael! :D ❤

David: Can you hear me? Michael, how is it going.

Michael: Yeah, I don't have time for pleasantries, David. Some of us are big in America. In fact, I have a zoom with LA in ten minutes.

David: It's 04:00 a.m. in LA.

Michael: Well, that was the only time I could fit them in, so they're getting up early. Anyway, look, I just wanted to confirm, I'm going to drop the new dog off on Sunday morning. We've called him Bark Ruffalo. It's cute isn’t it?

David: That is actually quite good. But listen, that's what I wanted to talk to you about. I'm afraid I can’t dog sit on Sunday.

Georgia: Oh, hi, Michael.

Michael: Yeah, hi, Georgia. Look, I don't want any of your excuses, David, you promised. I can't leave him with a neighbour because he peed in her kitchen.

Georgia: Right. Whereas we are desperate for him to come and pee in our kitchen.

David: I know that I did promise to dog sit on Sunday but since I promised, something else has come up and I-

Michael: Well, that sounds like a you problem.

David: Hi, Stan how are things?

Stanley Tucci: Hi, David. How are you?

David: Okay, listen, I need a favour. Michael Sheen has asked me to look after his dog on Sunday, but I agreed to host the BAFTA Film Awards on the same day. I was wondering if you could look after his dog for me?

Stanley Tucci: I would love to do that for you, David.

David: Oh, Stan, you're a lifesaver. Thank you so much.

Stanley Tucci: Is there anything else I can do for you?

David: No, looking after the dog is... I mean, that's obviously amazing.

Stanley Tucci: I could wash your car or something or the windows in your home.

David: You're not really gonna look after the dog, are you?

Stanley Tucci: And the BAFTA for Catching On Very Quickly goes to...

David: Himesh! Oh, Himesh, I think your computer is frozen. Oh, no it’s not frozen because I just saw someone.

Himesh Patel: Look, I know you're just calling because you want something from me.

David: Yeah. What are you doing on Sunday? Oh for crying out loud. Tom Hiddleston!

Tom Hiddleston: Hey, David. What's the pitch?

David: Pitch is dog sitting for Michael Sheen.

Tom Hiddleston: Wow. Okay. Yeah. Interesting. I'm guessing that we're going for, like, funny.

David: Could be funny, it’s a cute dog.

Tom Hiddleston: Yeah, I suppose the dog sitter initially could present as benign, and then he and the dog get up to all kinds of hijinx and ultimately disrupt stuffy old Michael Sheen's boring life. But for the better.

David: Listen did your agent tell you that I wanted to talk to you about a film?

Tom Hiddleston: Well yeah, obviously, unless you're actually, you know, calling me to ask me to dogsit for Michael Sheen.

David: No. Oh. Dame Judi. Long time no see.

Judi Dench: I thought you were going to be that beautiful Michael Sheen. What do you want?

David: Well, I wonder if you'd be up for a bit of dog sitting. I promised to look after Bark Ruffalo for Michael on Sunday, but I'm double booked.

Judi Dench: David. Bark Ruffalo. He pees everywhere. And anyway, I shall be watching a BAFTA Film Awards with a big glass of champagne. What's with the kilt?

David: Wait and see.

Judi Dench: Ooh.

David: Hi, David Tennant signing in. There's a courier here with something for production.

announcement: David Tennant to stage. David Tennant to stage.

David: Hi. Hello. Hi, everyone. Hi. Hi. Hi there.Sorry. I've got-Are you good with dogs? Yeah, and not on your dress. I'm sorry. Thank you. Hi. Hi. Sorry. Hello. Hello. Hi. This is fine. This is fine. This is. Michael? Michael?! What? What is this?

Michael: What are you doing there?

David: I'm hosting the show.

Michael: What?!

David: This is why you wanted me to dog sit, so you could sit there?

Michael: Yeah.

David: You going to have to take the dog.

Michael: What? What if I have to go up on the stage to be given an award? Yeah. All right. Give me.

David: Yeah. Come on. Get that one. You take that. And this weird thing.

Michael: Was this Scottish man mean to you? All right, come on to me. Oh, darling, hello, hello.

David: Never work with animals or Michael Sheen. Not a great start. Not a great start. Don't worry, though, tonight is going to go smoother than Ken's chest. For one thing, he's not a dog anyway. He is actually being played by Andy Serkis. Look at that. What a performance. Andy.

#david tennant #michael sheen #staged #david and michael #funny #videos #transcripts #bafta 2024 #awwwww #stanley tucci #himesh patel #tom hiddleston #judi dench #Youtube

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cloud-based-and-rainpilled · 8 months

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Staged 2 thoughts!! (this will take a Year because I have a Lot of feelings)

tl; dr at the end

Hmmm I don’t see how it’s a love story yet

Staged 1 works well enough on its own but the second season is really essential as a companion piece upping the emotional ante (which is exactly how I feel about Good Omens 1 & 2 lol)

The opening scene mindfuck; The meta! We have reached levels of irony not previously seen possible

Who do I thank for the tacky Zoom interview show background? It deserves top billing

HE DOESN’T WANT THE GOLDFISH TO BE LONELY (metaphor) and then it FUCKING DIES

Celeb cameos in season 1 being all “hey! I like you!” in season 2 like “you are tearing them apart. I hate you. scum

Also the themeing of Michael Sheen and David Tennant being on their own “side” VS everyone else……….. Simon Mr. Writer Sir i see u and unfortunately i am in your walls

The writing feeling less theater-y works for the meta and I’m wondering whether they always had a second season in mind or if it’s just that well written

Was really hoping for a Colin Firth & Hugh Grant cameo ngl :/

The music didn’t annoy me as much this season since it was more of the horn oomp-pah-pah than the piano. Idk maybe my mind just changed

I didn’t know Whoopie Goldberg could be terrifying but here we are (also I forgot her name isn’t Whoopie)

“I think the wizard fucked your ass” ???

Setting up the awards and the baby was peak *pops P* comedy 🤌 Definitely needed since it gets Sad as it goes on

Welsh kink spotted!!! And so fucking blantant I was scandalized

“I’ll shove it up my ass where the rest of the excrement goes” Michael casually asking David to peg him. Nice

More bad magic. More pls and ty

Also moar Nina pls. T’was but a brief beautiful bluster in the wind

Tbh missed a lot of Michael & David’s back-and-forths VS season 1 but I get that’s… the point

Everyone agreeing David is whiney and annoying lmao get wreck’t

Also I forgot they don’t have air conditioning in Englandland ‘cause my man is sweating in every scene he’s in (unless that was intentional in which case… go on…)

The ladies!! That meta ending with the Bechdel test… I see you…

Still love Georgia and Simon’s sister (who I apparently don’t respect enough to google her name); I like Anna now too! She’s got this kinda quiet sarcastic edge I didn’t notice the first time. They all played off each other well in their 3 some (phrasing) scenes

Big amongus sus react that Anna has better chemistry with the two of them than with Michael of which there is literally zero chemistry. Compared to Georgia and David who are just electric with each other it’s honestly distracting

Actual torture watching them break down as other actors play them and drive their friendship apart, it’s fascinating to watch especially on top of it being themselves but, like, not we swear

“Am I your best friend” “No” Fuckin REJECTED !! looser!!!

Oh huh I can see how this is a love story, interesting

The David Tennant fanboy (he is a Real actor I just can’t think of his name) served juicy vomiting SFX realness

“So you’ve made love with him” BROTHER

It took me 87 years to realize warthog and mongoose were in reference to Timon and Pumbah lol <- I am not looking up how to spell this

The bannister being part of the bookshelf why did this make me laugh this hard

Ken Jeong actually reaching into the heart of everything and casually tearing into it Temple of Doom style and leaving everything to ruin lmao

I miss people getting too close to me (feral noises)

Ewan McGregor is cute and I am shallow 🥰

AU where Simon Pegg and Nick Frost did Staged and honestly it would still work aside from being dangerously heterosexual

Simon & Nick doing the Staged 1 back and forth but literally? mmmm that’s sum gud meta

Oh right I forgot the actual writer Simon’s in it too. He’s still good. I like his Zoom tantrum

Jim Parsons unconvincingly looking for his phone after he casually tells David that he and Michael are obviously in love and everyone sees it lmao

David Tennant has the unique ability to make this absolutely insane face reserved specifically for the emotion “oh shit I’m in love with Michael Sheen” which like

I could kill the Good Omens costume department rn I stg take off those fucking sunglasses I’m so mad

Ohhhhhhhh yeah this is a love story

The Frozen snowman being the big bad final boss of cunt, oof you gotta love a good villain

Michael’s monologue the only one not in the kitchen area just breaking down completely I mean *claps until my hands fall off* he put his whole pussy into it. The frustration? The despair? I mean it felt like an audition monologue (in a good way) he walked through the valley in the shadow and death and came back a broken man with a fuzzier beard

CATE BLANCHETT ZOOM SNIPE

Apparently people didn’t like Phoebe Waller Bridge in the new Indiana Jones movie which I haven’t seen but idk I thought she was pretty funny and hot here. *ding*

MOOMIN MUG SPOTTED

The use of travel as a metaphor for feeling stuck emotionally *clenches fist*

“I like silence” *screaming from the other room*

“It’s like gas filling a room” <- fascinating way to describe their dynamic, it’s specifically referring to aimless conversations that snowball and “fill up a room” but it could also refer to the palpable energy between them— like even through the abstraction of a computer screen there’s this magnetic force that’s just riveting, it’s hard to describe

“We haven’t talked about love” > Seen at 2:17 PM LMAO

Michael alone with the black frame lingering shot. Acting and editing and directing choices so simple and on point. everything hurts

Struggling to say goodbye on Zoom physically reaching out unable to leave the frame that whole scene was just. You can just feel the love through the screen, it’s so layered and intimate despite essentially being “No you hang up first”

Zoom wedding! He stayed!!

I wonder if that’s Michael Sheen’s actual best friend. That would be cute

Anna whispering and telling him “nah I know your bestie is literally an hour away but he can’t come over lol” like??? why? let them love each other I cannot handle this villain arc

“I have to bring that one otherwise my tits will explode” Wait wasn’t she drinking earlier though? #ShivRoyMoment

“I was standing outside your job for four hours because I love you” <- dog from Up moment

Yes he is legally a Hobbit

The car window as an abstraction like the Zoom boxes *continued feral noises*

The direction of David putting his hand on the window and Michael walking away only then revealing Anna and the baby far in the background? We’re in 3 dimensions and they are all painful!!

Okay yeah I get it it’s a love story but I thought this was a comedy haha right guys why does everything hurt

It ends on that meta moment between David and Georgia which I can only assume is to set up for the third season although I dunno if that was planned at the time as well. It’s ambiguous but not distracting if they didn’t make another one

tl; dr: Staged 2 is a unique and excellent addition to Staged 1. The added meta textual layer of the other celebrities breaking down their relationship based on Staged 1 allows for a lot of “hiding behind my hands so embarrassed” moments, but also by pitting them against each other, it reveals their actual love for each other through the bickering. Season 1 on its own is a nice vignette of its time but season 2 with it adds a tension and intimacy that really takes both over the top

Kinda dreading watching Staged 3 since it seems like people overwhelmingly like it less than the other two because of the loss of the Zoom format and constant arguing, but I’m already in this far deep so I’ll stick the landing

To wit— awwwwwww, they love each other!

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invisibleicewands · 3 years

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Actor and activist Michael Sheen speaks about his career so far and how he has adapted to life during lockdown

Michael Sheen sighs. His fingers stroke his grizzly beard and for a moment, he’s no longer in New York; he’s stepping onto a stage for the first time back in his home town of Port Talbot.

Gone are the days of a telephone interview. The pandemic has seen to that. Zoom is the new way of life. And across the internet, across the Atlantic, Michael’s voice is beaming right into my Cardiff home.

He’s in the US, filming for the acclaimed drama series Prodigal Son. It goes without saying that he has come a long way since his early days in South Wales. But he traces the success of his career back to his days of youth in Port Talbot.

“As I’ve got older, I’ve realised more and more about what went into allowing me to have the path that I’ve had in life. I’m very aware that I had a supportive family, a family who would be involved with performing in one way or another.

“They also pointed me in the right direction, not necessarily professionally but my parents and aunts and uncles and grandparents were all involved with the amateur dramatics society. Coming from an area that had a tradition for actors in the form of Burton and Hopkins, there was a lot of respect for it.”

Michael has followed in the footsteps of the giants of stage and screen; but in doing so, he has forged his own path, straight out of the industrial South Wales town that he still calls home.

“If anyone was to take a look, they wouldn’t think that Port Talbot would have that kind of output. I was very involved with West Glamorgan Youth Arts groups that were borne out of the local education system. Godfrey Evans was the man responsible for founding the West Glamorgan Youth Theatre Company. He changed the lives of generations of young people from the same sort of South Wales area — myself, Russell T Davies and Catherine Zeta Jones, who I’m currently working with on Prodigal Son.”

Michael was to then train with the National Youth Theatre of Wales in the Welsh capital.

“We never moved around much when I was young so moving to Cardiff during the Summer holidays to do the National Youth courses — that was like going on holiday. Even going to Neath back then seemed exotic so to go all the way to Cardiff seemed like going to Mars. I remember we stayed in the university’s Senghenedd Court halls of residence. We’d rehearse in various places around Cardiff and it honestly felt like a mixture of being on holiday and going to space. It was so exciting. That was my introduction to Cardiff.”

The National Youth Theatre of Wales was to give Michael the grounding that has underpinned his career since.

“It was a brilliant youth theatre. It taught me great work ethics; it was very disciplined. Once I went to London, I realised that I’d taken it for granted about what was available in my area. I’m not too sure about how it compared to others in different parts of the country, but I started to see how my life could have gone a very different way. I owe a lot to the hard work of others. I’m amazed that I ever made it.”

Like Hopkins and Burton before him, Michael moved to London in 1988 to train as an actor. He attended the Royal Academy of Dramatic Art (RADA), where he picked up his first professional role and graduated in 1991. Throughout the 90s, Michael’s stage work brought accolade after accolade, and he made his first TV appearance in 1993.

“Stage work is where I started but theatre work has a tendency to take over your psyche. You wake up in the morning and all you can think is that you’re performing that night. You can’t concentrate on anything else. That may be the way for other actors too, I don’t know, but that’s how it is for me. And it’s strange because the performance only takes up a few hours of the day but it takes over an actor’s life. I do a lot more work now in front of the cameras these days and despite it sounding grim, I’d say that I feel more at home on the stage.”

Michael’s breakthrough screen role was as former Prime Minister Tony Blair in the 2003 film, The Deal. It was to mark his first collaboration with screenwriter Peter Morgan. They were to team up again for the 2006 movie The Queen, Michael once again reprising his role as Tony Blair. He was nominated for a BAFTA Award for Best Actor in a Supporting Role. In that same year, he also appeared as English actor Kenneth Williams in BBC Four’s Fantabulosa!

For the following year, Michael starred as the television broadcaster David Frost in Frost/Nixon in the West End, before it was adapted into a movie in 2008, in which he again played Frost.

“I’m very lucky to be in a position where I’m able to express who I am as a person. People always come up to me and say ‘Oh, you’ve probably heard this before but I love your work’. But I’ve been on the other side of that — I’ve done it myself, so I know how important it is for them to do that. What really puts a smile on my face is if someone says that they’ve been deeply touched by something that I’ve done.”

Michael has gone on to become a household name, both here in the UK, as well as in the US. But what would he be doing if he wasn’t acting?

“I was only talking about this the other day actually. If I wasn’t doing all the acting stuff, I’d like to run a book shop. But I wouldn’t want anyone to take the books. I’d want people to come in and talk about the books. They’d have to come in and we’d drink tea and talk about them. But I wouldn’t want them walking out with the books.” Michael pauses. “Maybe it’d have to be a library instead.”

Meeting people is one thing that many across the world have had to think twice about doing since the outbreak of COVID19. In June 2020, Michael starred alongside his friend David Tennant in a six-part television lockdown comedy called Staged, which was made using video-conferencing software. A second eight-episode season aired in January 2021.

“The pandemic has made me realise how vulnerable we all are. I’m working in New York at the moment and it really saddens me to see how many businesses are closed down — and for good. It’s startling to see how our economies have been brought to a halt. It’s frightening how many conspiracy theories have sprung up but overwhelmingly, it’s heartening to see how people have worked together.”

The actor has taken a keen interest in the fate of small local businesses, especially those faced with the challenges presented by the pandemic. He’s also keen to see Wales get a better quality media, suited to the country’s needs.

“Most of our news comes from outside of Wales and that has sent conflicting messages to the people of Wales during the pandemic.”

Despite his international fame and success, Michael hasn’t forgotten his roots or those who are in a place that he was once in.

“I’m lucky in that I can use the reach that I have to help change aspects of society for the better. I don’t do charity work in the traditional sense but I do see my life as two distinct parts and the acting side of it allows me to support causes that I care about.” He is currently the honourary President of Wales Council for Voluntary Action and in 2017, he founded the End High Cost Credit Alliance, which works to promote more affordable ways to borrow money.

As we wrap up the interview, Michael has spoken for more than half an hour. It’s still early morning in New York, his coffee has long since gone cold and he has another day of filming ahead of him.

“It’s a little unnerving being here with the pandemic still going on, but we’ll get through it somehow,” he says.

It seems it’s all in a day’s work for Michael Sheen.

#Michael Sheen #Prodigal Son #Interview

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resslerette1 · 3 years

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Michael Sheen’s Martin Whitly unleashes a killer performance in Tuesday night’s episode of “Prodigal Son.”

In “Take Your Father to Work Day,” there’s a murder in Martin’s asylum — which means that his son, former FBI profiler Malcolm (Tom Payne) ,must come investigate — much to Martin’s delight.

Tensions soon arise as they’re forced to confront their complex mixture of love for each other versus their long-simmering resentment (Malcolm of serial killer Martin’s dark legacy; Martin of Malcolm’s turning him in years ago).

“I am drawn to characters that have something different going on underneath rather than what’s on the surface,” Sheen, 51 tells The Post. “I think that’s true of people generally — we’re always aware of the version of ourselves that we want people to see, and then there’s that version that we feel like we’re covering up.

“A lot of what’s interesting about playing a character is how much you show,” he says. “Martin Whitly is one of those. We know that he’s a monster, and yet the version that we see of him is someone that’s likable and charming. Clearly that’s not all that’s going on. I do very much enjoy that.”

“Prodigal Son” (9 p.m. on Fox) centers around the complicated relationship between the troubled Malcolm, a former FBI profiler who helps the NYPD catch killers, and his incarcerated father — a brilliant doctor known as “The Surgeon” for his method of despatching his victims.

“Martin is someone who is obsessed with control. He has deep wells of fury about all kinds of things,” Sheen says. “Certainly some of it is directed towards his loss of control, and Malcolm is the person who served that up, since he’s the one who gave him up to the police. At the same time, he also has deep wells of maybe love — certainly need — for a relationship with his son.

“Martin feels like he can keep the two things separate but I don’t think he can,” he says. “It’s just that we rarely see what’s going on underneath. We see this likable persona. Who he really is comes out now and again — and we see it in this episode.”

Sheen, 51, who divides his time between LA and his native Wales, is known for a wide variety of roles, including prestige award-bait movies (“Frost/Nixon,” “Midnight in Paris,”), commercial blockbusters (the “Underworld” and “Twilight” franchises,) Amazon’s fantasy show “Good Omens” and Showtime’s period piece “Masters of Sex.”

“From when I first started out as an actor, the things I was always drawn to are transformations and being able to play as many different types of people as possible,” he says. “For a long time, though, I realized that was not necessarily the best thing for my career, because people didn’t realize that it was me in lots of different things! But at a certain point you reach critical mass and then people start to enjoy that about you, that you play such different characters. So I’ve always enjoyed variety — being able to play as many different types of people, and being in as many different types of projects as well, whether it’s independent film or big-budget film or a long running TV series.”

Season 2 of “Prodigal Son” will also feature Catherine Zeta Jones — whose character, Dr. Vivian Capshaw, will go head to head with Martin. (She’s making her debut later this season.) Alan Cumming will also join the series for a few Season 2 episodes.

“We grew up in the same place in Wales, next door to each other essentially,” Sheen says of Zeta-Jones. “I was in the local youth theater while she was in the local dance company, so we know a lot of the same people.

“I’ve met her family back at home in Wales but I’d never met Catherine,” he says. “Our paths just haven’t crossed. So it’s wonderful to get to meet her. It’s so odd that we have these conversations about people that we both know from 40 years ago. It’s lovely to be able to do that.

“We’re having a wonderful time.”

#prodigal son #michael sheen #new york post #catherine zeta-jones #alan cumming

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kumkaniudaku · 6 years

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Chop, Chop!

A/N: This is for @alltheestars. Thank you for the request. I did a little CoCo and Chad throwback. I hope you like it!

Warnings: None. Just fluff.

Chadwick Boseman x Black! Female Reader (Chad & CoCo AU)

If there was one thing you took pride in, it was your hair.

In primary school, your mother would decorate your luscious pigtails with ribbons of every hue, being sure to match them to your school uniforms per your request. When other little girls would come home with unruly manes after a long day of playing, you returned with every strand neatly in place, almost identical to the way you had left the house.

By middle school, you had transitioned from the elementary hairstyles orchestrated by your mother to the beautiful press and curls from Ms. Gina, the family beautician. Your father would happily spend the $80 a week to make sure that you and your mother were well taken care of on Saturday mornings. Ms. Gina would take your virgin hair and wash it, grease it and press it to your specific instructions. Even when she’d bump the ends a little too much and leave you as a shoe in for a role asJames Brown, you marveled at how grown up you looked.

In high school, you took over the reigns and began crafting your own hairstyles. The ability to quickly transition from a flat press to a ponytail and back to a french roll gave you a liberating sense of freedom. When you were awarded ‘Best Hair’ as your senior superlative, you carried the title with pride.

College held more of the same. It was at Howard University that you were introduced to Aaliyah and her iconic swoop bang. There wasn’t a day that went by that your hair was not carefully parted on the left side with a thick bang covering your left eye. You figured that, if you couldn’t mimic her singing ability, you’d at least take her personal style for a spin.

Chadwick would often tease you by blasting her music whenever you’d visit his off campus house and beg you to do the dance moves in his living room. As much as you’d deny it, you loved being the center of his attention, even if he was picking on you.

With all of your previous hair triumphs, when your roommate Lynn needed a practice dummy to test her beauty skills, you were all for it. A simple color job inspired by Janet Jackson’s Velvet Rope era was the deal but, soon you found yourself with a snug processing cap over your head and the stinging of a box perm burning tears into your eyes.

“Lynn, this shit burns! Are you sure you know what you’re doing?”

“Yeah! My cousin Monica perms and colors her hair all the time! What’s the matter? You never had a perm before?”

You hadn’t. You’d always beg for one but your mother made sure you knew that everything a perm could do, a hot comb or flat iron could do just as well.

Your lack of knowledge and eagerness to change up your look seemed to be harmless at first. The subtle scarlet color was the perfect complement to your brown skin and came with the just the right amount of sheen. The perm left your hair so silky and smooth that you didn’t even mind the slight loss of volume.

“Lynn, I could kiss you in the mouth!” You exclaimed while executing a small spin to see your hair move behind you.

“I’ll pass. Save that for your revolutionary little boyfriend. Now come here, your roots are still puffy at your crown.”

What you didn’t expect from your little experiment was the handful of hair that left your scalp and clung to the flat iron. One handful turned into three and those three turned into breakage all around your head.

“What did you do to my hair!”

“All I did was a little bleach and color with the perm.”

“BLEACH!”

It was too late. No matter how much you tried to fix it, the damage was done. In a matter of hours you’d managed to trade in your healthy hair for a broken, brittle mess. Distraught and hopeless, you knew what needed to be done.

The next morning, with tears in your eyes, you watched a local hairdresser trim your hair to the root, only leaving a curly skeleton of what you use to hold so dear. When she was done, she handed you a tiny list of product suggestions and a little advice before pushing you out of the doors into the DC streets.

Maneuvering around campus proved to be the most daunting task. You’d grown to be a bit of a socialite, forcing you to avoid the three c’s: conversations, club meetings and Chadwick.

Through careful planning, the first two were easy but, Chad was hard to shake. After three days of no communication, he left a note in your work study office practically threatening you to stop by his house at the end of the day.

“CoCo, don’t make me come find you. I’ll be home at 6. Come by.”

Reluctantly, you trudged down the hill carefully covering your head with the hood of your Howard basketball pullover and a hat for added protection. It was foolish to think that the ever inquisitive and observant Chadwick Boseman would not immediately notice your odd attire but, it was worth a try.

Stepping to the front door, you quietly prayed that Chad was caught up in class or too busy working on a script to answer so that you could say that you tried and scurry back home. Instead, the weathered door swung open to reveal your shirtless best friend with a guitar in his hand and a confused look on his face.

“It’s 75 degrees out. Why do you have on that sweatshirt?”

“Is that how you greet people now? No, ‘Hey, how are you?’, just questions? What if I did that to you?”

“Well...you kind of just did.”

Pushing him aside, you marched through the house and into his bedroom hoping that your petty argument would dead the inquiries. It wasn’t long before you were flopping across his bed and staring at the ceiling to fight back tears.

“So, you gon’ tell me what’s going on with the hood? You pledging Que and hiding a bald head under there?”

He was joking but your uneasy laugh and averted gaze alerted him to a larger problem. Hesitantly, you allowed him to lay in the space beside you to remove your hood and hat.

“This is...new.” Chadwick responded after carefully choosing his words. His fingers lightly caressed the top of your head, stopping briefly to fiddle with a ringlet at your crown. “Are you really pledging Que? Should I get balloons? I know you’re the tre because Tim and Eric are short as hell.”

“Ha ha, Chad. You’re so funny.” The tears you’d been trying to hold in slipped past your closed eyes and rolled down your cheeks.

“Woah woah, CoCo. Don’t cry. What’s wrong? How can I fix it?”

“You can’t fix it, Aaron!” You hadn’t intended to yell at him but the frustration of the last few days was starting to catch up to you. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have talked to you like that. This isn’t your fault.”

Enveloped in comfortable silence, Chadwick examined your face. Usually you’d tell him to take a picture so that it would last longer but now, with your eyes closed, he could take as much time as he wanted.

“If it helps, I think you look amazing.”

He watched you slowly open your eyes and scrunch your nose at his statement. “Yeah, right. I look like a dark-skinned DeBarge.”

“Yeah but, you can’t sing.” His boisterous laughter managed to pull a laugh from you until your stomach was hurting from the force. “But seriously, you look fine. It suits your face. I can finally see your eyes without that bang in the way.”

“You told me you thought it was fly!”

“It was! But, I like this one too. I like whatever to do with your hair and stuff. You make all of it look good.”

A familiar set of butterflies fluttered in your abdomen at his kind words and the feel of his hand returning to rub your head. How was he able to make you feel so beautiful with just a few words? He could’ve repeated that same line to every girl on campus but, in this moment, you felt like the luckiest woman in the world.

“So I don’t look like a low budget Missy Elliot?”

“Actually, that’s probably the best comparison.” He laughed. “Look at it this way though; we can go get haircuts together.”

“Haircuts? You been on this Basquiat journey for a while now. Would you really go get a haircut with me?”

Running his hands through his ‘fro, he gave the thought of a haircut serious consideration. He’d spent a lot of time growing his hair out to achieve the locs that were sprouting from his scalp. Not only did they fit his image but they’d received a lot of attention from the other women on campus. Was he really willing to get rid of them for you?

“Give me three weeks. If you still want to maintain the haircut by then, I’ll go with you.”

“Really!” You squealed, pressing your body into his bare chest. He never had the chance to keep you close before you hopped of the bed and danced around the small room.

Grabbing his guitar, he began strumming background music to your solo party.

“CoCo’s big ass head just got bigger…” He sang, a broad smile contrasting your straight-faced expression. “I’m messing with you!”

Rolling your eyes, you drug yourself back to the bed to sit beside him and lay your head against his shoulder. “Thanks, Chad. I needed this.”

“Anytime, CoCo. I got you no matter what.” His eyes found yours again in the tender moment, sharing a sweet smile with you.

“Your head is still big though. You look like Michael Jordan with hair. I mean gah damn!”

_____________________

FOREVER TAGS: @njadont @k-michaelis @wakandanmoonchild @idilly @texasbama @afraiddreamingandloving @inxan-ity @daytimeheroicsonly @thiccdaddy-mbaku @onyour-right @briannabreeze @sisterwifeudaku @ironsquad @killmongerdispussy @90sinspiredgirl @killmongersaidheyauntie @willowtree77785901 @maynardqueen101 @heyauntieeee @halfrican-heat @purple-apricots @lalapalooza718 @blue-ishx @profilia

#chadwick boseman #black panther fan fiction #chadwick boseman fan fiction #chadwick boseman imagine #chadwick x reader #chadwick boseman x you #black panther fics #black panther fanfiction #black panther

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mjtheterrible · 4 years

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Back in the day Charlie Sheen had a catch phrase he used to say a lot when things were going his way. He would say "Winning!"

This past week was incredible!

A side project business partnership a handful of my highly skilled white hat hacker friends and I started years ago signed a huge deal with Homeland Security this week, and other than the fact that we have to change the name of the company, because apparently having the word death in your company's name can be a drawback in certain situations, this deal was/is a game changer!

After the deal was signed, my wife did what she does, and organized our world so that when we need to be in Virginia to fulfill this new massive contract, we will have a place to live.

Malia said she felt like a drug dealer sneaking around trying to buy a house, when everyone is supposed to stay inside due to the Corona Virus.

My wife, when she wants me to do something, she knows I won't want to do has a special way of convincing me to do it anyway.

The house she wanted to buy was owned by someone that at one point in my life, made a decision that was so extremely destructive to my life, I still remember it like it was yesterday.

When this person told me they had made the decision to reverse the previous Secretary's decision, I made the decision to rearrange his office right then and there, in a not so peaceful way, which led to being escorted out of his office by security personnel.

I am not a violent person. Everyone who knows me will tell you that I am a peaceful fun-loving guy.

That said, in this particular secretaries office, let's just call it for this example, the Secretary of Defense's Office, his decision was so destructive to my life, that I made the decision on the spot to show him how I felt by reorganizing his office. I ripped pictures and awards off his walls, pushed everything on his desk onto the floor, etc.

It is one of those extremely rare times in my life where I lost it. Looking back at the situation, I don't think the more mature me now would have done that, but I still think he deserves it for what he did.

And, he did it in such a condescending, I am better than you, I don't care about you or your life, you are nothing manner, that I think he deserved what I did, even though I shouldn't have done it.

I have heard that the nickname I used at the time to describe him ("Ashhole"), people still use to this day.

Malia knew I would never agree to buy Ashhole’s house, if I knew it was his house.

To convince me to agree to buy the house before dropping the bomb on me that it was his, she showed me the house, talked about how it was everything that we wanted, etc. She even had a quickie with me in the bathroom, which is one of our things in this kind of situation.

At this point, I agreed we should buy the house. Malia told me that before we officially signed the papers, she wanted to have dinner with the current owner of the home.

When we pulled up in the driveway for dinner, Malia said- "Baby, please don't get angry when you see who the current owner of the house is. We are having tonight’s dinner for you. Please baby."

When we walked through the front door, there he was. Ashhole himself was standing right there. I could feel my heart racing immediately! Malia was standing next to me. She moved to where she was standing in front of me. She pulled my head down and whispered in my ear- "You wanted revenge on Ashhole for a long time. Now you have the chance to buy his ass! He brought you the baseball bat from his office. The one he heard you wished you would have grabbed first when you were destroying his office, because you could have used it to bust up his office more. He wants you to have it as a peace offering. I love you. I want this house, but I couldn't buy it unless you knew it was Ashhole's and you were okay with it."

I whispered in her ear- "You called him Ashhole. You only ever called him by his real name before."

Then she whispered in my ear- "You are my other half. If he is Ashhole to you, he is Ashhole to me."

I said out loud to Ashhole- "I had sex in your bathroom today."

Malia pulled my head down and whispered in my ear- "That's the spirit baby, but don't take it too far because I want this house."

Ashhole didn't say anything. He took a deep breath and asked me if I would join him in the sunroom. I said ok, and we walked back to the sunroom.

Ashhole told me he brought me a gift. He told me he wanted to give me the autographed baseball bat that was in his office on the day I "acted like a maniac" in his office.

He told me we could go outside, and I could break it if I wanted to. I thought about it for minute. I opened the case and gripped the bat in my hand. Ashhole said- "That day, I wanted to tell you face to face. I thought you deserved that. In retrospect, I know I made the right decision. My decision hurt you. It helped a great number of people. I would make that same decision again today."

I asked him why he didn't press charges against me for destroying his office.

He said- "I knew the decision I made would negatively impact your life for years. Knowing that, I gave you a pass for destroying my office."

I asked him if he would apologize to me for what his decision did to my life.

He said- "Please read the letter." He pointed to an envelope next to the bat.

I opened the letter and read it. It was 6 pages long. On page 4 I started tearing up. For a long time, I tried to figure out why Ashhole made the decision he did that day, but I was not able to.

Ashhole's letter gave a detailed description of why he made the decision. Ashhole asked me not to let anyone else read the letter and he asked me not to tell anyone what the letter said. I agreed.

I asked him why he didn't tell me about this on that day, because I wouldn't have tried to destroy his office.

He said- "You didn't have the clearance."

I asked him why he didn't try to run out of his office that day or try to hide behind something.

He said- "I knew you wouldn't hurt me. I knew you were just angry. You wanted to let out your anger and frustration."

I asked him if he would have done the same thing if he were me.

He said- "No, I would have gone straight for me and not stopped until security pulled me off."

I said- "Are you saying I actually showed restraint?"

He said- "Yes."

I asked him if I could put the letter in the time capsule, I am saving for my kids to have when they are older, and he said that would be fine.

I asked him if he had any reservations about selling his house to me.

He said- "No."

I asked him if he had anything else, he wanted to tell me or if he had anything else to say to me.

He said- "Will you please stop calling me Ashhole? People still ask me if the rumor is true that "MJ The Terrible" went berserk in my office and called me Ashhole."

I smiled and so did he. It was a nice moment. It made me feel good to have closure about one of the darkest moments of my life.

I asked him if he wanted to have dinner, and he said he would really like that.

I walked over to open the door to the sunroom, and I see 5 armed guards standing outside the door. I looked back at Ashhole and he said- "I wasn't sure if you would let bygones be bygones."

He told them they could all leave. I said- "You said you weren't afraid that I would hurt you that day in your office."

He said- "I did say that. That is how I felt. I'm not sure why I felt the need to have security. I wanted to make sure peace was of the essence this evening."

I said- "I change my mind." I started to turn to walk towards the baseball bat. I was going to take it outside and break it, but then I saw Malia in the doorway behind where the security guards were standing with her hands on her pregnant belly.

I walked slowly towards Malia. When I got to her, I put my arms around her and kissed her. Then I turned around facing the security guys and Ashhole. I said- "My name is Michael Johnson, and this is my wife Malia. If you want me to stop calling you Ashhole and let bygones be bygones, you need to stop thinking of me as "MJ The Terrible", and you need to let bygones be bygones as well."

Malia said- "You 2 are not ruining this. This is going to be our house! Security guys, leave! You 2, go to the dining room for dinner. Both of you are going to make peace tonight whether you like it or not."

Then, the person who I will no longer be calling Ashhole, said- "Yes ma'am." I looked at Malia with almost disbelief. She said- "Go!" I walked towards the dinner room.

That was the extent of the conflict. The rest of the evening was peaceful. We stayed a few hours and just talked after dinner.

When we got back in the car to leave, Malia said- "If you don't want to buy the house I understand, but will you please at least think about it overnight before you tell me your decision?"

I told her that I had already made my decision. She looked down in disappointment. I said- "I love you. I signed the paperwork to buy the house before we came here today. You left the paperwork on the bed next to the mobile cribs. I saw who the owner was. I signed it because I love you. I want what you want, and if you want to buy this house, I want to buy this house."

I could see happy tears as she closed her eyes and smiled. I asked her if she thought I would sign the paperwork. She said- "I saw that you had signed the paperwork, and I knew you saw who the seller was."

I looked at her kind of surprised and said- "Why didn't you tell me that you knew?"

She said- "I wanted to make sure you were okay with it after seeing him."

Then she said- "I know you love me and want to make me happy. I love you the same way, so I wanted to make sure you were okay with buying Ashhole's house."

I kissed her and said- "Our house!" Malia fell asleep on me on the ride home. I carried her upstairs and put her in our bed.

I sat there for a minute and looked at her. I thought about how lucky I felt to be married to her.

I kissed her forehead and went into our bathroom.

Sometimes it takes the people we love forcing us to do something, to realize it is the right thing to do.

To the man who is no longer Ashhole, thank you for providing me with closure. Your baseball bat will sit in my office as a reminder that people can change. That not everything is always as it seems, and that peace can and should be made whenever possible.

To Malia May Johnson, words can't express what you mean to me. Thank you for giving me a chance almost 9 years ago. I didn't deserve it, but you still gave it to me anyway. I will love you all of the days of my life!

Some days and weeks in our lives our easily forgotten, and some days in our lives will never be forgotten.

This past week will be remembered!

Sincerely,

Michael "MJ The Terrible" Johnson

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devilsendslove-blog · 7 years

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anonym :

Is it just me or does Tom's US PR team suck? I think Luke did so much better for Tom all these years than his US team has the last year and a half. Essentially they did absolutely nothing for Tom. He had to speak up for himself. Tbh I know nothing about PR. It's silent, behind the scenes work. I'm sure they helped him get good coverage and interviews, but their crisis and image management seems non existent to me. Any thoughts on why? It's appalling that random ppl even said he needs a new team.

insanely-smart :

What would you have them do differently?

After September, he was nicely regaining what he’d lost. Entertainment shows were siding with him, remember? Remember how he looked Saturday at the tea, or on the RC Sunday? He was in a good spot - seemingly over everything.

The gaffe on Sunday (overblown by everyone) was apologized for within 24 hours. That’s really all he can or should do - too much draws the story out longer, which is the exact opposite of what you want to have happen. The press moves on, and a by the time SI rolls around, it will be virtually forgotten. People outside fandoms really do have short memories. The shirt will stick in people’s minds, but if that’s it? Not the worst thing ever.

As for “speaking up for himself” - that’s the way it’s supposed to be. You shouldn’t be having Luke or Lauren or Victoria speak for him. Other than those “source close to the actor” things you’ll see in tabs.

BTW, I think the US team was mostly for the spring promo tour/Emmy campaign, and prior to that for a potential Oscar campaign and CP. And they did a really good job there. Good talk show spots that he had never had before. Good, solid interviews. Times Talks, SAG-AFTRA. Some good photo shoots, too. Whatever your opinion of the actual W photos, that was an Emmy campaign spread, by a renowned photographer, and he was in it. Actors on Actors, LA Times Roundtable… all getting his face/name out there in the US, and guess what? Emmy and GG noms. That’s good PR. As for managing a crisis? He has less to apologize for than Casey Affleck, and while it won’t stop him getting awards, because his performance is good, the stories aren’t going away.

Now we really haven’t seen Lauren since April. It’s either been Luke or Victoria. Though Wolf-Kasteler are still on his team, and I’m sure we’ll see her again for SI promo, since that’s once again a big American film that could have a punishing schedule. Luke also has to rep Emma Watson for Beauty & the Beast at the same time. So I would imagine Lauren or Lauren/Victoria combo will be what we see this spring.

catwinchester

Crisis? CRISIS?

Remind me again, when was Tom in an extremely difficult or dangerous situation?

I must have missed this because all I saw was him having a new girlfriend last year, and giving a slightly rambling speech this year.

I saw no crisis.

Even if these things were more than just a few twits on Twitter thinking that they get to decide how other people behave, this is Hollywood!

We’re talking about a community where a rapist who admits to drugging then anally and vaginally raping a 13 year old girl still gets to work and win prestigious awards. (Roman Polanski)

We’re talking about a community where a violent, sexist, racist, drunk driver still gets to work and win prestigious awards. (Mel Gibson)

We’re talking about a community where a domestic abuser can blow his girlfriend’s kneecap, break her nose, and he still gets to work and win prestigious awards. (Michael Fassbender)

We’re talking about a community where biopics about famous band totally leave out the violence of one member against three separate women, and he not only gets a movie but he still gets to work in music and win prestigious awards. (Dr Dre)

We’re talking about a community where a man kidnaps and tortures his pop star wife for 9 hours (read the report, what he did was horrendous!) and he still gets to work and win prestigious awards. (Sean Penn)

We’re talking about a community where an actor is convicted of assaulting a female paramount executive, and he still has a job! (Emile Hirsch)

Others who have been accused of or have admitted to violence against women include Sean Connery, Bill Murray, Charlie Sheen, Sean Bean, Eminem, Josh Brolin, Gary Oldman, Nicolas Cage, and probabl a whole load more I can’t remember.

Judging by this, Tom is so well thought of among those he’s worked with that he could literally bugger the Queen and still have a thriving career in the movie industry, FFS!

But sure, being inarticulate and dating is a “crisis”.

I fucking hate this tendency to overexaggerate everything today. Stop making mountains out of tiny little molehills! There are genuinely nasty people out there, go remind twitter about Michael Fassbender, why don’t you, instead of pretending that anything that has happened to Tom is anything more than just an incy wincy speed bump in the spectacular career of a lovely humanitarian who chooses to use his fame to raise awareness of good causes.

tl;dr

I would so much reblog this, but I can’t because Saney (among some other blogs LOL) blocked me. I just want to tell @catwinchester that I love your comment. And there was never a real crisis. As if dating could be a cisis.

All what Tom did was falling in love.

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anneedmonds · 5 years

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Christmas Gift Guide 2018: For Him

I’m writing this post on the train to Paddington. My MacBook Pro, which is too big to fit on the pull-down table, is wedged sideways on my lap so that I’m having to type around a corner. My iPhone, which lasts approximately three minutes before running out of battery unless it’s plugged into a power point, is jammed between my thighs.

So not the most comfortable of positions – the creative juices are somewhat stilted – but in a way, it’s fitting. Because I find men’s gift guides quite arduous to write. It’s easy to pull one together if you include things like electric shavers and socks and novelty beer selections, but if you actually want to collate some interesting items then it’s a long slog. Riddled with patches of self-doubt. (Would he really want an ornate magnifying glass disguised as a gecko?)

I hope that the present ideas here act as a sort of spring board to further ideas – if he doesn’t need an ornate magnifying glass, then what about an ornate vintage drinks trolley? If he doesn’t like vintage, but the magnifying glass would appeal, then how about one of those and a huge, framed map, perhaps of his birth city or a far-flung country he travelled through on his gap year?

Magnifying glass too archaic? How about night goggles? You catch my drift. One idea leads to the next. At any rate, I’ve left the nose-hair trimmers out and skipped on the aftershave/shower gel sets; you need only click onto the home pages of any big beauty retailer to find dozens of those…

(links marked * are affiliate links, for more info see disclaimer below post)

…although the men’s gift guide wouldn’t be complete without a Tom Ford fragrance, just because they always look (and smell) so ridiculously sexy. Who wouldn’t want one? Tom Ford’s Ombre Leather is £114 here*. Throw in the coolest handkerchiefs on the block and you have a thoughtful little package – the ones above are £15 from Chase & Wonder. To top it all off? The best-looking hair tamer. Johnny’s Chop Shop pomade has a strong hold and cool sheen – it’s £7 at Boots*.

Lot 2, let’s do it – the first item is the Makita laser measure. OK, so who wouldn’t want one of these? If you’ve ever measured anything longer than your arm span with a tape measure then you’ll know how awkward it is; if you’ve renovated a house and measured for carpets, wallpaper, plug socket positions, bed sizes, wardrobe sizes, window sizes and various ceiling heights then a digital measure that’s accurate and requires no measuring partner (“HAVE YOU GOT YOUR END OF THE TAPE RIGHT IN THE CORNER THOUGH? PULL IT TAUT! FFS!”) seems like a no-brainer. Why don’t we all have one? The Makita model looks the part and is £55 at Amazon*.

I’ve exhausted myself getting all excited over the laser measure so here’s some incredibly hot hot sauce (£6.99 here*) and some Musgo shave cream with all of the style credentials, £22 at Amara*.

The last item in the picture above also gets me a little over-excited; it’s a security camera that connects to your smart devices so that you can check what’s going on at home/downstairs/in the cellar. Creepy horror movie scenarios a go-go with that one. £139 at Amazon here*.

Lot 3. Another random ensemble but bear with. This skull poster is actually huge, but here it looks smaller than the welly. You have to take these flatlays with a pinch of salt; I get carried away and my sense of proportion goes out of the window. Take a look at the skull picture online here*; if you fancy investing in something arty yet relatively safe, it’s £168.

Mr AMR declares (and has done for years) that Muck boots are the comfiest wellies in the world. I have to hand it to him; they are very soft and padded and a lot more pleasant to wear than nearly every other brand I’ve tried. I think I may jump ship… From £68 at Amazon here*.

Lastly on this little square of gifting delight, we have a watch winder. A whatty winder, you might ask? Well, it’s for people who have more than one watch and need the one they’re not wearing to stay wound and therefore keep time. Luxury problems and all that. To be fair, I rarely wear my watch now because it stops if you take it off and don’t wear it for more than a day and setting the time is a pain in the arse, now that I can just look at my iPhone every eight seconds instead, so I do see how a watch winder could be a handy old thing. This one is posh – the Perpetua Walnut Winder – and costs £425 here*.

Talking of posh, the lamp pictured above is one of my favourite lamp designs of all time. Classic, curvy-yet-masculine, the Kaiser Lamp by Fritz Hansen is a thing of utter beauty. If he’s into his interiors and you want something special that he’ll keep forever then check it out – it’s £590 here* and comes in lots of different colours.

Stylish book award 2018 goes to the brilliant photography tome called, simply, The Swimming Pool. Find it for £22.75 here*. He could read this whilst perched on his burnt orange footstool, which I want for myself (I’m hoping that Mr AMR reads this to guffaw at my men’s gift choices and then sees that I want the footstool – ditto the laser measure) – it’s from Soho home and is £396 at Liberty here*.

I’d also have the monkey candlesticks, if anyone was offering – they would look brilliant in my dining room! £90 from Liberty* again.

You know what every man needs? A letter opener that’s also an ornate crocodile objet. £45 here*. The book Writers and their Cats also scores style points – it’s very retro – and is a great stocking filler, if his stocking is absolutely flat. And square. The book costs £11.34 here*.

The Tom Ford beard comb has become a bit of a classic, mainly because it’s the cheapest thing you can buy from Tom Ford that has Tom Ford written on it. I think a lipstick even costs more than this comb. Snap it up, it’s a veritable bargain! £30 at John Lewis here*.

Now. Let’s get practical with an excellent coffee machine; I’ve been researching them and this one from Smeg (I will never be at peace with that brand name) comes highly rated time and time again. It’s £259 here*. The Michael Caine print is from amazing online print shop Surface View. They have a huge image inventory and can print onto canvas, wood, wall murals and even onto window blinds. Have a browse – a large black and white photograph, printed and framed, never fails to make a striking present.

Oh, the Rose Shaving Cream from Taylor of Bond Street. I had been buying this for my Dad for his Christmas present for the past few years; he loved it and said that the smell and texture were amazing. He was a stickler for a proper shaving ritual, like his own Dad before him. I wouldn’t have included this if I’d thought it through properly as it has made me a bit sad on the train, but it’s a great little present and I hope that a Dad somewhere gets it on Christmas day and enjoys it as much as mine did. This tub of pure shaving luxury is £10.95 here*.

Again, my sense of proportion has escaped me – the trainer care kit pictured above isn’t a miniature at all, click the link to see it in all its glory! It has loads of special sneaker-cleaning tools and unguents in it. I just chuck my trainers in the washing machine in a pillow case, which is free, but if he likes a bit of a ritual, like car-cleaning (give me strength!) then you can find this kit for £50 here*.

Lot…er…5? GIANT PUG HEAD! Not really, it’s my flatlay trickery again – this is a pen pot. I love the brand that makes all of these vases and jugs and egg cups – you can find the Pug Pen Pot here* for £20 but there are loads of other animals. And you didn’t think I’d get through a post without slipping some bees into the mix? I think that these pyjama bottoms look very pricey and (sort of) royal. An eccentric prince might wear them whilst breakfasting. They are a pleasing £28 at John Lewis*.

I know I said I’d avoid toiletry sets but this one from Liberty, with an amazing Scamp & Dude bag to hold it all in, is excellent. The product prices add up to way more than the price of the set, too – it’s £65 at Liberty here*.

Aha, the ornate gecko magnifying glass. What man cave/office/study/billiards room/library would be complete without one? You can find this L’Objet piece at Liberty here*. What else in this line-up? A very smart coffee press, £55 here* and, for those who like their jewellery chunky, a silver Gucci letter ring. That’s £350 here*. If he has a shortish name, like Norm or Tom or Bob, he could have multiple letter rings and spell his entire name.

And finally (thanks for hanging about until the end, my train-squashed body really appreciates it) some good-looking bits for the discerning wine-drinker/music-listener/egg-eater. The Porter Corkscrew in brass is £48 but will last a lifetime (find it here*); the Sony WH-1000XM3 Noise Cancelling Headphones are epic – not as noise-cancelling as a pair of slow-rebound foam earplugs (see here) but pretty effective. They are £329.99 here*.

Last but not least, the thing on every wishlist up and down the country this year – all the men want one! – an octopus egg cup. I like this for its utter absurdity – it belongs on one of those really long dining tables that you see in stately homes that are open to the public. Where they have to use a loudspeaker to talk to one another at dinner. If that’s you/him, then you can get your egg cup online here* for £16. It’ll be the most luxurious dippy egg he’s ever eaten. Perhaps whilst wearing bee pyjamas.

The post Christmas Gift Guide 2018: For Him appeared first on A Model Recommends.

Christmas Gift Guide 2018: For Him was first posted on November 26, 2018 at 7:51 pm. ©2018 "A Model Recommends". Use of this feed is for personal non-commercial use only. If you are not reading this article in your feed reader, then the site is guilty of copyright infringement. Please contact me at [email protected] Christmas Gift Guide 2018: For Him published first on https://medium.com/@SkinAlley

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smokeybrandcompositions · 6 years

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Takedown

With the news that Matt Lauer was fired from his job this morning over sexual misconduct, I wanted to take the time to address what’s going on with all of these accusations being thrown around. To be clear, I support all of these people coming forward disclosing their very real, very damaging, experiences about the seedy under belly of Hollywood. Even if the assaults occurred 70 years ago, the trauma that person carries is still relevant and they still deserve to be heard, even if the legal statute has long been expired. That’s why when R. Kelly was accused of pissing on that little girl, I stopped supporting his music. Kells has always been into young girls. Always. He married Aaliyah when she was 16 or some sh*t and he has a goddamn ego the size of Texas so why is it so farfetched to believe he’d record himself pissing on a little girl? That sh*t is power, not affection. He peed on that girl because the rush of being able to do it, turned him on. The power he had over that girl is what aroused him, not the act. That sh*t is f*cked up. Forget the fact that he had hard drives upon hard drive upon hard drives loaded with child pornography. No, R. Kelly was tried and acquitted because public opinion dictated he was “too good” to be a scumbag. Fast forward to present and he apparently keeps sex slaves now. Like, that kind of behavior is a direct escalation of him getting away with pissing on that teenager all those years ago.

Then there’s Bill Cosby. This Jell-O pudding pot, church sweater wearin’ ass, Heathcliff Huxtable scumbag has been drugging and raping women for almost a half century. He’d hit them with the ‘Ludes and these women would wake up with Cosby literally on top of them, inside of them. My dude, that’s the textbook definition of date rape. Seriously, Cosby would roofie chicks and then just carry on like nothing happened. For decades. Decades. Because he was Bill Cosby. Because he had that power behind his name. It took Hannibal Burress telling a joke in passing about this to even be a thing. Eventually, one by one, these women came forward, most for a second of third time. See, these victims weren‘t silent, they were silenced. Being Bill Cosby has a certain way about it that keep the people you victimized, often people looking to gain fame and recognition in an industry that you dominate, quiet. But, because of Hannibal, women found their voice to speak up. And it was LOT of women. Cosby has been accused by 57 women since the 60s, I think, of rape. 57. That’s almost a yearly assault. Look, I get it. Maybe not all of these women have a case. Maybe all of them., But those numbers are WAY too high for there not to be an issue. I subscribe to the principal of where there’s smoke, there’s fire and that right there is the most smoke ever. Mathematically, he had to have assaulted at least handful of these women and even one is unforgivable. And we have that admission from Cosby, himself. In a sealed deposition (which was unsealed for his retrial a couple of months back) Cosby out right admits he drugged and raped a woman. He did that. But because the case was settled, one of the stipulations was that she never speak out and this admission doesn’t go public. But it did. So how is Cosby still a free man? He’s an admitted rapist and, very likely, as serial one, too. How does a predator like that not rot in a cell? Because he’s Bill Cosby. This is a man that had aspirations of buying NBC or whatever before all of this happened. When you got clout like that, you get o do what you want apparently. When you’ve done what Cosby’s done, you get a pass because of how much you’ve enriched the community. Hypo shouldn’t but apparently, in the eye of the public, you do.

How about the mother of all PR nightmares, Harvey Weinestein. This is a guy that not only raped a tone of women by using his clout as a producing wunderkind in Hollywood, but would get into physical altercations with cats who disagreed with him. He as a f*cking abusive psychopath and everyone knew it! Tina Faye wrote jokes about it into 30 Rock! Seth McFarlane went in on the dude during his stint as Oscar host! There were all sorts of NDAs signed and payouts dropped. And not just for his brazenly rampant sexual assaults but for just general emotional, physical, and mental abuse. Cats in -house at Miramax and The Weinstein Company have had to deal with his violent outbursts and disrespect for years. Even his own goddamn brother has a story about Harvey literally beating him into submission! This asshole would never have been allowed to continue what has become a 4 decade crusade of just plain predatory behavior. Dude’s thrall of abuse is so grand, it’s capturing and sinking other star’s careers. Glazing over the fact that the Weinstein Company, itself, is in a bad way because of all of this sh*t, Ben Affleck had to do damage control because, as people looked into Harvey, he started to look not so dope. Matt Damon, too, had to come out and distance himself from some inappropriate behavior. F*cking Quentin Tarantino admitted he knew the rumors, heard the stories, but never witnessed the actions first hand so he let it slide. Cat enabled Weinstein to continue his rampage by staying silent. What does Harvey do? Hire a PR company to clean house. Never mind the fact that he’s raped a bunch of women for decades. Never mind the fact that he’s a documented abusive boss. Never mind the fact that he’s a very real monster who abused the sh*t out of his position, unapologetically. Never mind all of that .Instead, he just goes intro rehab and vows to take down Trump or some sh*t. Really? You’re a serial predator, dude, you don’t get a pass just because you sought “help” in Arizona. Help you never really accepted. Help you bailed on in a week. Help you ultimately don’t believe you need. And that’s the rub; Harvey Weinstein doesn’t believe he’s done anything wrong. He thinks the movie industry needs him. He thinks because his company has all of these accolades, and awards, and classic films, that he’s had a hand in so many Oscars and can make or break a career, that he deserves all of the things. He believes because he IS Harvey Weinstein, that he’s ENTITLED to do these horrific thing that he’s been exposed doing. To him, this is how you do business. To him, the fact that he can make your career is more than enough compensation for you to drop your panties and bend over. But it’s not. It never is. And a decent f*cking human being would understand that. But Harvey Weinstein is NOT a decent f*cking human being. He’s a goddamn predator scumbag that deserves to be castrated. Fuck your contribution to the history of Hollywood. You’re entire legacy now is the fact that you had to rape women because none of them wanted to be with you.

The list goes on and on. I mean Roman Polanski anally raped a 13 year old back in the 70s,admitted to doing it, and then fled the country because he didn’t like how harsh his punishment was. That mother*cker has been a fugitive for decades but he still gets to make movies. He still gets American releases. Asshole has even won an Oscar, as a pedophile fugitive. When Cory Haim was 13. he was raped by Charlie Sheen. He was quoted as saying that Charlie convinced him that this was an open secret in Hollywood, that someone has done it to Charlie when he was young. This was just the way of the business. Haim being 13, didn’t understand and took Charlies illegal, disgusting, and lascivious behavior as true affection and fell in love with him. He said they had one more sexual encounter when he was 16 and Charlie cut him off after that. It was then he understood Charlie Sheen cared. Even though Haim , himself, was in love with Charlie Sheen, he understood Charlie would never reciprocate those feelings. Charlie, of course, denies all of this and so does Haim’s mother but she does seem to take issue with Michael Jackson a little bit. And that in itself is a whole bag of worms. That cat had an entire secret room devoted to child pornography and bondage equipment built into Neverland Ranch. That’s a thing. He openly admits to getting the kids he hung out with drunk on wine he had in soda cans. He called it his “Jesus Juice”. Michael Jackson was a predator .He assaulted and molested children, I believe that in my heart of hearts. But no one talks about it. Or, at least, no one seriously talks about it because, 1. He dead and 2. He’s Michael Jackson. This man made Thriller. Surely his contribution to the arts is enough to looks passed the fact he sexually victimized untold amounts of children in his lifetime. Then there’s Louis C.K. and his disgusting masturbation in front of women or Bryan Singer’s world famous twink parties where he more or less seduces young boys with a very particular body type in to sex (seriously, you should hear the story behind how that Sheridan kid got the role for Young Cyclops in Apocalypse. It’s ridiculous) with him in order to be in one of his films or the fact that Donald Trump went to trial a month before his inauguration for kidnapping and raping a 14 year old girl along side a known, convicted, pedophile who went the jail fir the exact same thing. How about those three times James Van Der Beek was molested or that agent that walked up to Terry Crews and literally fondled his dick in front of his wife with no fear of reprisal or the way Ben Affleck treated Hilary Burton, on camera, when she worked for MTV or how Kevin Spacey attempted to rape a 14 year old boy in the late 80s, only to have him come out of the closet while dismissing and distracting from his victim’s very real claims or that whole disgusting and very sad situation Brett Ratner has gotten into. I mean sad, as in the actions he’s taken during the accusations are just real sad, not that I have sympathy for his sudden notoriety. Dry humping chicks until climax is just the saddest thing I have ever heard, man. All of the kink shame. All of it. Oh, also, Russell Simmons apparently raped a girl while Ratner watched. The f*ck, man?? These things don’t exist in a vacuum and are inexcusable. Cats in positions of power have been doing this type of sh*t for as long as someone was in charge of someone else and it’s disgusting. You can’t reduce people to things and treat them however you want. That’s common decency and, for far too long, cats have gotten away with it because the weight of their “art” as it is, outweighs people’s lives. How f*cked up is that logic??

Look, I adore Pulp Fiction. Inglourious Basterds is one of my all-time favorite film. Hans Landa, and Christoph Waltz’s performance therein, is one of the best I have ever had the pleasure to witness. Tarantino put his foot in that flick. Doesn’t mean Weinisten gets a pass for brutalizing women because he funded that flick. He doesn’t get a pass because he’s more or less supported Tarantino’s genius every step of his career. I love the fact that Bill Cosby had the wherewithal to use his clout and bring a black family to television that didn’t live in the projects or a junk yard or some other inner city cliché. I love the fact that Fat Albert is a thing and that Jell-O pudding pops are delicious. But that doesn’t mean he gets a pass for raping 57 women. Yo, 12 Play is a classic album and will go down in history as a true classic but that doesn’t mean R. Kelly gets to skirt the fact that he’s a pedophile and rapist. Just because you make, or had a hand in making, dope sh*t, doesn’t ,mean you get to do whatever you want, to whoever you want. Your legacy isn’t going to be all of those Grammys or Oscars. It’s not going to be all of those SAG awards or Platinum albums. Your legacy is going to be one of violence, cruelty, and exploitation. You are a criminal and rapist. It doesn’t matter how much you’ve contributed to the culture. You don’t get a pass for your atrocious behavior just because you made dope sh*t. You are a scumbag and you deserve everything coming to you, be it career ruin or legitimate prison time. F*ck who you think you are or what you deserve. You’re less than the dirt on the bottom of my shoe and I hope you rot away in your alienation and/or time served.

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smokeybrand · 6 years

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Takedown

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