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saekkas · 11 months

Text

𝐒𝐖𝐄𝐄𝐓 𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐆

summary: in a different universe, michael kaiser comes home to you, and every single hardship he's endured has meaning when you wrap your arms around him. in this one, he has only himself to blame for when his house becomes a shadow of the home he used to live in.

tags: f!reader, kissing, angst (minimal comfort), lovers to strangers, neglectance, second chances, fools gold.

wc: 1.8k

notes: inspired by an angsty ask @mirahua sent that's been plaguing my mind for the past week. also, my debut as an angst writer so pls go easy on me ಥ_ಥ and the tags kind of sort of don't make sense, forgive me for that </3

"i'm home," kaiser whispers, opening the door to his apartment only to click it shut a few seconds later, his eyes fighting to keep themselves open.

he leans against the door, taking in the wide space. everything's dark and still, there are no signs of life, as to be expected when one comes home at 4AM.

he sighs, passing by the books and empty mug you must've used earlier in the day. some of his stuff is cluttered around yours, like the small sanrio plushies he bought with you only months ago. they occupy the sofa along with your pillows, and he smiles sadly at the sight. where did the time go?

even with so many trinkets and things littered around, his house feels empty. lonely as if no one's lived in it for weeks and months. his steps falter as he enters the kitchen to find a portion of a home-cooked meal, sitting on his favorite plate. it's cold but it still glows with the warmth and love you prepared it with.

he sighs once more, rubbing his hand across his face. putting the meal into the fridge with shaky hands, kaiser's quick to drop onto one of the chairs.

he stops for a second, looking around his house, the place he's lived in for the past 3 years. something's changed within the space, like there's an object that doesn't belong between the four walls. deep in his heart, kaiser wonders if it's him.

fishing his phone from his pocket, he takes in the messages that start to trickle onto the screen. it's been on airplane mode the whole day, a habit he needs to break, you've once told him.

his thumb lingers above your contact.

scrolling through, his eyes take in every single text you've sent him dating from months back. he sees the way they started; love filled descriptions of your days mixed in with questions about his own. reading the text you've sent today, he feels a pang go through him at the lone message. good night. get home safe. nothing else.

his hand clenches around the table, sadness turning into guilt that spreads like a plague when he realizes he's barely replied back to any.

this has been his life for the last 9 months. he wakes up, leaves for practice, comes back sometime around dawn, only to repeat the next day. his muscles scream at him every second, his shoulders groaning under the weight of exhaustion. it's the price one has to pay for the fame and fortune, kaiser tells himself.

self-assured as he makes himself out to be, kaiser isn't stupid enough to leave things all to fate. he may be a star striker now, one that has everyone vying for his time and attention, but who knows what will come in the next few years.

there will always be new talent, people with incredible skills and the greed to propel them into stardom. into taking his place. he knows because he's seen it before. been it before.

as the clock sounds to signal a new hour, his vision starts to blur. everything is starting to feel foggy, his head pounding and body screaming at him for sleep. he can't quite grasp anything. not when there's a distance separating him and the world around him.

"mihya?" comes your voice, soft and slightly raspy. kaiser snaps back into focus, the ringing in his ears dulling into background noise. "you're home."

"hi, baby." you're swaying on your feet, one of his shirts around your body. he recognizes it to be one of his favorites and he almost chuckles at the sight if not for the lump that's appeared in his throat. "shouldn't you be asleep? did i wake you up? i'm sorry if i did.'"

the first thing that comes to mind is how delicate you look. as if one wrong move, one wrong word is going to push you into a shell. he takes in everything about you, starting from the messiness of your hair to the slump of your shoulders.

he hasn't seen you. hasn't had the opportunity to breathe you in like he used to. those night when he traced every single one of your features, giggling loudly with you in the dead of the night seem so far away now.

he misses it, those moments you shared from who-knows how many nights ago.

when you rub the sleep out of your eyes, looking at him with a small smile, his trance breaks. he takes in the distance between you both, like a chasm that's gaping and mocking him because he was the one who let it widen this far.

"you didn't. i just needed to pee," you say, tone just barely above a whisper. there's something floating between you two, the things unsaid. you're afraid they'll come pouring out if you break the silence. "how was practice?"

kaiser realizes, even when you're right in front of him, your presence feels like a ghost. hesitant, locked up into a small ball of a person that's only being held together by hope and love, no matter how small.

"i'm sorry i didn't reply to your text." the words pour out of him like a waterfall, blunt and bruising. i'm sorry i haven't been with you. his eyes trace your form, and he sighs, moving to engulf you into his arms. "practice was.. busy."

please don't leave. please tell me that this is enough. that i'm enough.

"it's okay. i'm used to it." your tongue slips and you sigh as he wraps around you. it feels foreign, his touch. like he's not exactly the same person he used to be, but neither are you. "i'm sorry. i didn't mean it like that."

kaiser can only clench his eyes. he leans his head down to press a kiss to your forehead. "i know, it's okay. and i'm sorry."

i'm sorry i haven't been there for you. i'm sorry i haven't taken you out on another date. i'm sorry that i'm selfish and all i know is to take and take. i'm sorry that it's leaving you hollow and bruised. i'm sorry my love isn't enough.

the thoughts swirl, pinging around like warning signals going off in his head. he opens his mouth, only to close it right after. "let's go to bed."

even when the softness of his duvet embraces him, kaiser can't relax. his body stays stiff, timid as he waits for you to settle beside him. when you do, he's slow to reach out, placing a hand on your hip to test the waters.

he relaxes when you mold into his form, curling around his body as if he's never done any wrong. he presses you hard against his chest, wrapping his arms around your body.

he doesn't get to hold you like this anymore. between practice and exhaustion, whenever his head hits the pillow, he's out like a light. he misses the intimacy, the feeling of having someone beside him.

"do you think about me?" he hums, asking you the question. his hands nestle around your waist and back. he breaths in your scent, his body finally letting the coils of his muscles loose. "because it feels like i think about you every minute."

you respond in kind, caressing the hand that's nestled on your waist. you don't say anything. you don't need to, not when you let him kiss you for the first time in months.

"you know i love you right?" he whispers. there's nothing but him, him, him. you're surrounded by his presence, his touch is everywhere, and there's barely an inch between where you lay. his hair tickles your cheek, the faded blue molding into blonde. "and you know that i would never want to hurt you?"

you should know better. you wish your heart wouldn't give in so easily. you're nothing but an ordinary girl from humble backgrounds while the man wrapped around you is a shooting star that landed on your palm on a rainy summer day.

you should know better because shooting stars fade away.

"do you really?" you whisper, drained and tired out of your mind. "because you've done nothing but hurt me, mihya."

he isn't surprised by your words, but the truth stings all the same. he sighs, pressing his forehead against yours. the weight is back on his shoulders, his head starting to spin as he takes your words in.

"i promise i'll be better," he whispers back, pleading as he looks down into your eyes with tears lined in his. "why don't i take you on a date tomorrow? to that place you've been wanting to go."

"mihya," you trail off, shaking your head. "i-"

"i'll buy you flowers. i'll come home from practice early. we'll drive to the restaurant together." michael kaiser is nothing but greedy. the words that are flowing out are rushed, and his voice cracks under his own emotions. he'll say anything. he'll take and take, if it means he'll get you to stay. "you mean everything to me. i can't lose you."

you don't reply, not for a long time after. looking into his eyes, you process every bit of guilt and hope he has strewn inside. you wonder if they're enough to fix whatever's left.

"okay," you say with a hesitant nod of your head. "one last chance."

kaiser's eyes light up, brightening his whole visage.

"thank you." he kisses you, deep and passionate. there's nothing but you and him in the moment and as you fall asleep, kaiser whispers against your ear, placing gentle kisses on your cheek, wishing they'll be enough to take back every ounce of hurt he's given you. "i love you."

the next morning, kaiser leaves with a light heart and a kiss on his cheek. his steps are confident, his eyes bright. there's nothing in his head except for you and your date. he hums to himself, letting his thoughts roam about your reaction for when he surprises you with flowers when he gets home.

and yet, the universe is a cruel thing and so is his greed. kaiser loses himself in his practice, scoring goal after goal even as his phone rings. he doesn't see your texts of "mihya, don't forget our date tonight! can't wait!" "mihya, what should i wear? should we match?" "mihya it's getting late, where are you?" nor does he see the multiple missed calls you leave.

and when he gets home, soaked in rain with wilted flowers in his hand, kaiser is greeted by the sight of a truly empty house. your warm presence is gone, taking every moment of happiness with you.

he has only himself to blame for every single self-destructive habit that's led to him losing the one he calls home.

#blue lock x reader #blue lock imagines #michael kaiser x reader #michael kaiser imagines #kaiser x reader #blue lock angst #kaiser imagines #michael kaiser angst #michael kaiser x you #michael kaiser x y/n #bllk x y/n #bllk x you #bllk x female reader #bllk x reader #blue lock x you #blue lock x female reader #blue lock x y/n #blue lock headcanons #kaiser angst

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kitorin · 10 months

Text

one more time.

contents. 6.031k words (gave up on proof reading i'm sorry-), second chance romance, hurt to comfort, author + psychologist reader, swearing, nsfw (not smut just mentions), getting drunk, one nightmare, abandonment issues, kaiser’s terrible with people, it takes a while for kaiser to appear

part two to this

a/n. i guess you could read this as a stand alone, but a lot of the details won't make as much sense (like they'd have a lot more relevance and meaning if you've read part 1). and you're being referred to by your first name by your nephew for the sake of keeping it gn

"y/n?"

Your nephew's question brings some of your attention towards him, with the rest focusing on the road. Rain droplets raced along the windows, and he must've gotten bored of guessing which one was the fastest.

"Yeah? What's up?"

"When are you getting married?"

The innocent yet so significant question made you choke on your own spit. It was unexpected for a child to not gag at the idea of intimacy and love, let alone one questioning your marital status.

"Why are you asking something like that?" You carefully dodge the question, given that you have little to no experience with any sort of romance, the closest to love was an eternity ago. Despite graduating from college already, nothing about that had changed.

"Well." He begins explaining himself. "Mama and papa met each other in high school, they got married when they were younger than you." Unlike you, your sibling had a quite successful love life, already married and with a child. The fact that they were even high school sweethearts seemed to only accentuate your sorrowful envy.

"Your parents were lucky. Not everyone gets to meet the person they love forever in high school. Even if they do not everyone ends up marrying them." It was a difficult approach. You wanted him to fully understand the possible outcomes of love but didn't want him to avoid it entirely. "Love is dumb luck. Sadly, not everyone ends up loving someone who loves them back."

"Hmm." He sounds like he's deep in thought, which also surprised you given that he was still young and oblivious to these sorts of discussions. "Were you unlucky? Is that why you're not married?"

The query stung a bit. Not necessarily because it hurt to be reminded of him, but because it wasn't mere misfortune. It was ultimately up to him to act that way.

"Hmm, I guess. Your father got all the luck I suppose." You chuckle, an attempt to conceal that your heart was begging for some sort of closure, even after all this time.

"But that's not fair."

A sigh leaves your lips as you continue. "It isn't. But that's just life."

"What happened to them? Did they not like you?"

"They did at one point. I think. It was pretty obvious but after I liked them back, they became a bad person" It felt so weird. You've bottled up all the memories and emotions, sealing them away from the world, yet with this tiny child you've decided to open up. It's odd, but not uncomfortable.

"They're dumb."

"You can't say that. It's not their fault for not liking me-"

"But you're amazing. You always spend time with me since Mama and Papa are too busy to. You bring back yummy snacks and tell the best stories. You even teach me so many new things. You're the best person ever."

Although misery from the past had been reawakened and nurtured at the topic of the conversation, his kindness seemed to combat that, you can't help but grin.

"I'm glad you appreciate that."

"You deserve better!"

That makes your breath hitch up, a weird, indescribable sensation accumulates in your chest, and for the first time in a while your eyes begin to prickle.

You blink away the sensation. Three, simple words uttered by a literal child, yet it seems to affect you so much to the point you're moved to tears.

Because no one ever told you that.

No accusations of you being delusional and crazy. No sort of discomfort inflicted through others attempting to make it public.

It was what you've been waiting to hear for so long.

"Thanks bud. Keep this a secret from everyone else, yeah?" You come to a stop at a red light, turning towards him with a grateful smile.

He mimes zipping his lips. "Of course!"

"I know everyone's asking about me getting married, but it won't happen."

"Why?"

"Because." Because you feel undeserving of it. Because you're terrified of being abandoned like that again. Because you're simply just scared. "Because it just won't. I'd rather focus on making sure you and your parents are happy."

"Am I supposed to do that when I'm older?"

"Maybe not to my level. Make sure you treasure your family, but your lover too." Now that piece of advice makes you wonder what it'd be like if you got lucky.

"I don't want to get married even if I'm lucky. I want to be cool like you and take care of family too."

"Then do that. But don't close off your heart completely. Your dad didn’t think of love when he was a kid, look at him now. But it's completely okay if you don't love anyone." Obviously, you'd support him no matter what, but a part of you desperately wished that he'd be lucky enough to never experience what you did.

He nods but changes the topic. "What about you? You seemed happy when you talked about that person. A different kind of happy."

What was that supposed to mean?

"It's just nostalgia."

"That's a hard word. What does it mean?"

"You'll learn when you're older. Promise." And with that you dodge the topic of love, adjusting the conversation to one about the new Doraemon episode he watched the other day.

"Holy shit Ness look at how good they are at this."

"Fucking useless."

"Please help me with trig, I'm begging you. Really? Thank you so much."

"That's such a bitch move. Class average was so low, yet they're still scared of showing their high B. Fucking pussy."

"I love you."

Fuck.

Another nightmare. It's only a mess of his words, both the good and the bad; followed by overwhelming dread and fear swallowing you. A wave of relentless cold engulfing you and drowning you in the depths of torment.

The dream leaves you drenched in sweat and panting. It doesn't fucking make sense. It's been years, you were only kids and now you're an adult. Yet it still leaves you so affected. You don't even clearly remember what he looked like. Only the cerulean orbs and the blonde wolf cut.

Most people brush off any sort of heartbreak in high school as trivial and temporary, yet yours has clung onto your heart so persistently, that it still constantly haunts you.

Nothing's working. Attempting to date others only accentuated your paranoia and abandonment issues. Trying to open up to trusted ones caused the words to get stuck in your throat, to the point it feels suffocating. You even wrote an entire book about it; sure, it was effective in expressing yourself and it was a huge hit and profitable, but something deep down still hurts.

You keep trying and trying, heart craving for closure. But the only way you'd satisfy that miserable desire is through meeting him.

Only you know that so damn well.

Maybe that's why you keep fiercely trying. It's your own way of hopelessly trying to escape him.

But it's futile. It's so draining.

It doesn't matter though. It should stop soon. It's such a stupid thing to be sad over. You're successful, a now bestselling author known for your beauteous expression of love and hurt, while still working as a psychologist. You've achieved something majority of people couldn't do, and you're seeing the fruits of diligence and hard work. But it still hurts.

You do your best to shrug off this sense of dread, focusing on what's important.

"Thank you for today!"

Your nephew wore his signature grin, one that was adorable and so full of joy. It was almost impossible to not smile back at him.

With the commencement of school holiday, you decided to take him to a nearby soccer match, France vs Germany. You didn't know anything about soccer, but he loves the sport, constantly practicing and rambling about Julian Loki (a.k.a. his favourite player of all time) You got extremely lucky, if it weren't for Yoichi and his connections to the JFA you wouldn't've been able to surprise your nephew. Yoichi wasn't prepared to see you constantly thank him ("You're my closest friend, your nephew's a good kid too. Lemme coach him some day!"). He even managed to get you three VIP seats.

"Yocchan, how do I win more? I want to shoot the most goals in my team!"

You passively listen to Yoichi's advice for your nephew, as you can't understand or contribute to the conversation much. It's impressive how people play with this many people watching. The whole stadium was flooded with people, except for the VIP section but that was purely due to how expensive it was.

"Ladies and gentlemen, I welcome you to France vs Germany!" The commentator booms, earning a cheer from everyone. You expected it to be loud, but not to the point you think your eardrums would burst.

The event went on normally. Player names were read out, with an energetic screech from your nephew when it was Loki's turn. At this point in time, you were pretty laid back, given that you recognized no one.

"Aaaaand Germany's ace and forward, Michael Kaiser!"

You froze.

Michael Kaiser, the Michael Kaiser from back then?

Finally, you have a vivid image of what he looks like. His blonde hair was partially dyed blue, the pretty shade slowly fading out, and navy roses decorated his neck. Red eyeliner adorned his almost feline like eyes. He looks almost unrecognizable yet he's still the boy who had a crush on you.

Suddenly, VIP seats weren't so tempting anymore. Suddenly, you want to drag yourself out of there and ask Yoichi to supervise your nephew.

But he still looks beautiful.

"I hate that bitch." Same Yoichi, same, you silently agree with him. "He's insufferable and a fucking prick."

"Language." Although you'd agree with him, it was a bit too early for your nephew to start speaking like Yoichi (though you wouldn’t mind him learning how to verbally defend himself from Yoichi).

It's only 90 minutes. There's over 20,000 people. Kaiser won't notice. Besides, high school was years ago. He's a professional player and seemingly a famous one, he would've met plenty of players and coaches, too many to even remember your existence.

You suck up your fear, the three of you cheering on Loki.

"Do you think I can be like Loki?"

The game concluded, and to your nephew's joy with France's win, 3 - 2. To be honest, you were still clueless about the sport, but you could at least tell Loki lived up to his name, rapidly scoring and leaving his opponents in the dust.

"Of course, you could be better than him!" You appreciate Isagi's support but that probably wasn't the right thing to say in an environment full of soccer fans. Nor the smartest.

"I'm going to head to the bathroom, I'll meet you outside." You hurry away, ready to get out of the stadium.

You were being too paranoid earlier, obviously nothing would happen. To a national athlete like him, someone he hurt all the way back in high school, someone who he entirely ignored for a few years too.

"Fucking found you."

As if the universe was transpiring against you once more, you're dragged into some unknown corridor, a hand silencing you.

It's him.

Michael Kaiser, now a full-grown adult. His high school popularity bloomed into real world fame and glory now. While your success had sprouted from seeds of hurt.

Now you're pressed up against a wall by him again. This time with his arms having an iron grip on your shoulders, roughly pushing you against the wall.

You can't help but reflect on last time something like this happened. But instead of childish affection it’s aggressive and rough, with his aquamarine eyes clouded with something unreadable. That wasn't particularly new, but what changed was that the foreign but hostile glint flickering in them.

All Kaiser does is stare, hair messy from the match and breathing unstable.

You don't say anything either, you can't even think properly, let alone find the right words to say.

"I've waited for this for so fucking long. You're too distracting."

His arms wrap around you, tightly, as if his life depended on it.

You can't move. Your body won't let you. It's not like you were petrified with fear. It was more so all the conflict of emotions. You weren't sure if you wanted to reciprocate the hug, scream for help, or spit in his face and swear at him.

"Kaiser... Please let go."

He abides, partially, changing back to his original position of holding you against the wall.

"No."

"Please?”

" You always fight back when you're uncomfortable." He wasn't wrong, you didn't exactly hate being in his proximity. You hated how he treated you, and how he's suddenly here again.

"You don’t mind this, right?”

Despite his words, his releases you, allowing you to run away whenever.

But you don't.

Because even though it'd be smarter to run away and never see him again, the tiny hope within you is still pleading for closure, and Kaiser himself.

"Kaiser, I can't, my nephew-"

"Is with Yoichi." Kaiser brings his face a lot closer to yours. "If you wanted to run away, you would've already."

Both of you remain silent, as your cheeks heat up at his touch and presence. His hands reach towards your face to caress your cheeks, the roughness of his calloused hands contrasting your soft skin. Annoyingly, you whimper at the unfamiliar sensation. It earns a cocky smirk from him.

"Cute, you really haven't changed."

"I don’t want to see you."

"Why? We both know you would've already kicked and slapped me if you really hated me."

"Because" Because he scarred you beyond words. "Because you hurt me. A lot." Your voice cracks up at the end, he's the one person you didn't want to be vulnerable around, both before and after heartbreak.

For the first time in forever, there's something vaguely readable in his eyes. Was that regret? Sorrow? Guilt? Empathy, even?

"I know, I could tell-"

"Then why did you do it?"

You've given up on sounding stoic, evident anger was displayed in your voice.

"I tried everything, dating other people. Yet you still haunt me to this day." Years of accumulated feelings were finally released. "Just when I finally figured out, I liked you, you fucking did that then, and then." The rest is cut off by him.

"... You liked me back...?" There's a significant shift in his tone, from cocky and confident to vulnerable and shocked. "You, liked me...?"

"Of course I fucking did Michael." A quiet gasp leaves his lips at the sound of you finally using his first name again. "You were so sweet and was always there no matter what, until you decided to hate me for no reason."

"No, I've never hated you-"

"Just stop lying. Please. First you lie about loving me and now-"

He swallows the rest of your words with a kiss, denying your claim. The kiss gives you butterflies, your cheeks heat up even more and his lips taste you and him; sweet and irresistible.

When he's done his face is flushed as well, lips swollen. His chest rises up and down, he seems more flustered from the kiss rather than the actual match itself.

It's back to the uncomfortable silence, his hands gripping your shoulders tight and various emotions clouding your mind and heart.

Without a word, Kaiser just leaves.

The action evokes a nostalgic yet dreaded emotion, it's just like how he initiates whatever he wants without considering anyone else.

You swallow your hurt, leaving the hallway and finding Yoichi and your nephew.

You don't lie to your loved ones. You’d rather die than deceive your nephew or your best friend Yoichi. But tonight, was an exception.

It's not like you wanted to make Yoichi baby sit your nephew ("Sorry, work suddenly called me in), but you were too hurt to spend time with anyone.

The bar's loud, all the noise drowns out your thoughts, as you're up to the nth bottle of alcohol, no one was keeping track.

It's out of character for you to drink so much, but the state of being disconnected from the world, not having to deal with any worries was irresistible.

"You're drinking a lot." A stranger seated next to you comments, you don't bother questioning who they were.

"I desherve it." You slur out, evidently flat out wasted. "I hate men! Especially the German ones." A few glares were probably received after you said that.

"Why's that?" Their calm tone juxtaposed your upset and livid one.

"Because, because, this bitch leaves me heartbroken for years, appears out of nowhere, kisses me and." You're cut off by a hiccup. "Disappears again! I, I-" You're a complete mess, hiccupping while chugging down alcohol, and now sobbing with tears messing up your expression.

The stranger doesn't respond, taking a quick sip from his own glass.

"Did you know," You begin explaining, despite them not asking. "I did so much. I never wanted to date much but I tried to so I could forget him. I even went to a party, and I'm scared of those. Heck, I wrote a whole ass book! At least I can monetize my pain."

"You must hate this guy."

"Beyond words, he's the reason why I think everyone will leave me, but I still feel like I have some kind of hope. If you want to know more, you should read my book." Now you were self-promoting, but the alcohol diminishes your shame. At this point it wouldn't be surprising if people were concerned about how much you've drank. "There's no point of a stupid psychology honours degree if I can't fix myself."

All they do is chuckle, still calm. "I'll read it, and I'm sure he likes you back if he kissed you. There's nothing about you to fix."

You burst into laughter; you sound borderline manic. "That's what I thought after he said he loved me." Another glass, swallowed down by you with ease.

"After all, there's no way the Michael Kaiser would actually love me."

The next morning you wake up, with a splitting headache and swollen eyes.

You try to get up and get started with the day, but the lights are so blinding, only amplifying the splitting headache.

How much did you drink?

Now you start remembering last night, the (probably) unhealthy amount you drank, your inconsolable bawling and that mysterious yet kind stranger. Your immediate reaction is to grab your pillow with plans of screaming into it, out of embarrassment, praying that you'll never meet that person again and that they'll forget who you are.

Wait.

Since when were your pillow cases white?

And where did your bookcase go? What about the drawings from your nephew and childhood you cherished and decorated your room with? And what happened to your clothes, since when did you own white robes?

Shit.

"Finally awake?"

Your eyes have finally adjusted to the light, and blinding white melts into something, no, someone.

Kaiser.

He's seated at the end of the bed, white robe matches yours, with his exposing his toned and muscular chest, and the navy roses blooming on his neck.

What the hell happened.

It's as if your fight or flight response was triggered, and your brain decided on flight with full confidence, you scurry backwards, avoiding him like the plague.

"Did we-?" The new and completely different outfit and waking up in his bed were obvious hints.

He blinks.

There's no fucking way.

"Did you at least use protection? If I get fucking chlamydia because of you, I'll ki-"

Kaiser laughs. So hard that it sounds like he can barely breathe.

"I didn't say we slept together. The y/n who never understood anything remotely sexual, instantly assuming we went that far." He composes himself, "No, we did not fuck. You were too drunk to consent."

"Then..." Your hands grip at the robe.

"Nothing happened. All I did was give you that to change into"

Alright, now you've confirmed that you don't need to get tested for any STDs or STIs.

"Goodbye then, where's my stuff?" As you try to get up, his hand holds you and your shoulder down, denying your question.

"Don't run away."

It's so ironic for him to tell you that when he stopped talking to you, avoided you, and even went as far as treating you badly. Anyone would want to run away if their first love who had scarred them emotionally randomly reappeared in their lives.

You remind yourself to remain rational, to stay calm and respond maturely, to deescalate the cascading sentiments overwhelming your heart, like a proper, polite, and perceptive adult.

But you don't want to be an adult. Not when it feels exactly like your high school years, ones where you had stayed up late just to innocently fawn over Michael Kaiser. Only for your heart to be a toy, one that he had thrown away and ruined merely because he had enough of playing with it.

You're a scared teenager alone in your room again, fearful of everything, heart closed off to the point not even you could fully comprehend what it was feeling.

You just want to run, to run away from all your problems until they'd give up hunting you down, until they found other prey to pursue, until you could live at peace with your scars.

When people mention 'confronting your fears', most would imagine someone fearless and undisturbed, someone who knows what they're doing. Yet you completely contrast that curated image, a troubled individual who wants to return to how they were before their irremediable suffering.

"Don't give me that crap. You're the one who fucking did that to me."

He's the one who decided to poison you with the suffocating fear of abandonment.

"You never cared for me in any way, why should I bother listening to you now?"

To break your heart was one thing. To do it out of nowhere without explanation after years of captivating affection was another.

Kaiser remains silent, expression still stoic.

"I hate you."

That's what you've told and convinced yourself for so many years, yet something inside of you refused to fall for your self-inflicted dishonestly. The part that miserably prayed that Michael Kaiser would one day go back to the boy who was head over heels for you.

You've managed to forget this torment for years, but all he's doing is ruining it, making it even more difficult to get over him and the indescribable hole in your heart.

But now, it doesn't seem like you're the only hurt one.

By the end of your speech, you're panting, despite only staying still in bed. You still have so much more to say, but you're already in disbelief that you've finally expressed the hardships plaguing you, and to the reason for said burdens.

"Why'd you hurt me?" And it finally happens. Tears. Ones that had hid from the world, cowering at the thought of another witnessing this pathetic vulnerability. “Everything would be so much easier if you never appeared again, but you had to randomly appear again to kiss me, only leave again.”

He finally speaks. Voice equally soft and weak as yours. “I know I did. And I know it wasn’t right. But I never wanted to, I never wanted you to hate me or end up hurt. I’ve always wanted the opposite.” Kaiser shuffles closer, hand inching closer towards yours, not daring enough to hold onto it.

He inhales, deeply, as if this whole ordeal had an emotional toll on him too.

“I didn’t avoid you because I hated you, or wanted you to get hurt. I wasn’t trying to play with your emotions either. I was young and foolish.” For the first time, he’s readable, evident sorrow painting his features. Right now, he was a complete juxtaposition of his image on the field, assertive and lionhearted to now frightened and uncertain.

He’s not done yet. “I’ve always liked you, from the day we started talking. I wanted to love you properly, to take you out on nice dates and to be a boyfriend no one could ever compare to. I was just… scared.” The Michael Kaiser admitting to fear was something new. “Scared of ending up as a disappointing lover or you never reciprocating. I ran away yesterday because I was a coward. But I don’t want to stay as one. I refuse to."

Kaiser continues. “It feels unreal, the idea of you liking me back when you’re so perfect. You’ve always been mature, diligent, and hardworking, your future seemed so bright with how academically proficient you were. At the time I was so unsure of myself and felt so inferior, it doesn’t justify anything I’ve done but I wanted to rather hurt instead of being hurt.”

“You, think I’m perfect…?” It’s such an innocent question. The praise seemed to melt away the resentment accumulated within your heart, and momentarily you forget wanting to leave.

“Of course, I do.” There’s still the same vulnerability in his expression, but this time it’s complemented with a soft smile. “I mean, look at you. You always got the top marks, and you’ve achieved a dream of entering the psychology field. I still love what you wrote about PSTD.”

How did he know that?

“I never mentioned my job.” He still remembers that one piece you wrote, a task that your English teacher had given. You were allowed to write anything you wanted to, and that was the birth of that PTSD essay, which Kaiser had found impressive for the level of detail it had.

“Your books state it.”

And how does he know about those too? You used a pen name for privacy and to avoid any attention to your personal life and loved ones.

“I never mentioned being an author.”

“You certainly did last night. I quote ‘you should read my book’.”

Wait.

A wave of realization crashed over you, the poor individual you complained to about Michael Kaiser was Michael Kaiser himself. Now the memories are flooding in, the declarations of hate, the miserable murmuring, and your stupidly embarrassing behaviour.

But even after recalling all the events and details of that night, you don’t remember providing a title and your pen name. It’s a complete secret, not even Yoichi or your own family know.

“I didn’t tell you the novel name though?”

Kaiser’s now grinning, but there’s still the soft feel to demeanor. “I’m a bit of a fan. ‘Where the Sea and the Horizon Meet’ is my favourite." It’s the book you wrote about him.

“But how did you know I wrote it?” Anyone can write about their tragic first love and the bitter yet beautiful saccharinity it entails. Your pen name didn’t allude to your legal one in any manner, and you dismissed any questions that interviews that attempted to intrude into your personal life.

“Because I instantly knew it was about you, about us. I’d never forget that day, right before English. When wanted to tell you I loved you since it was so pretty that day. I missed bothering you. I missed you.”

He actually remembered?

All this time you had assumed it was a memory that had been sitting at the back of his mind, only to be forgotten so easily after a couple of years.

You don’t say anything. It’s so confusing and overwhelming, the person who hurt you did it out of the fear of hurt, yet still missed you.

“You didn’t forget?”

“No. You were the first and only person I’ve ever loved.”

First… and only too?

You hadn’t shown any signs of auditory hallucinations recently, right?

Even though he himself just said it, it’s still a fever dream to you, unreal and fictitious.

Did you hear that right? You’re the first and only person he’s ever loved; all those touching memories were real, that heartfelt proclamation of love wasn’t fake.

Despite Kaiser’s confession to being in love with you, there was the tiny part of you that was still convinced that you were dreaming; that none of was real.

Because someone who completely destroyed you so long ago shouldn’t be able to waltz back in so easily.

Yet every part of you is begging for him to come back.

You haven’t said anything for a while, only lost in the storm of thoughts while trying to navigate the seas of your emotions.

“Same.” You whisper, you wish you had said something more than a simple agreement, but it’s all you can muster. And it’s true. No one else had been that loving with you. “I don’t hate you. I hate the pain I felt.” You take back your claim, and he looks like he’s received the best news of his life, relief washing over his features.

“I know, which is why, I would never do again. That’s if, if you’re willing to give me another chance.” He finally has the courage to hold your hand with his own, fingers ghosting over your knuckles. “I want to love you. Again. This time properly, and until I learn how to do perfectly.”

There’s an undeniable fear of you have of vulnerability and love, yet the offer is so tempting.

Is the risk really worth it?

You’ve always depended on logic and rationality to make decisions, and here, it’s clear that trusting someone who hurt you isn’t a smart idea. It’s common sense, but something about him makes you want to oppose your usual ideals; to get hurt over and over again until something works, to finally break down the walls you’ve miserably built, and to expose your heavily guarded heart.

“I love you y/n.”

It doesn’t the possess the same grandeur it did that day, years ago, but it still conveyed the same passion, laced with his true feelings for you.

Only this time, you say it back.

“I love you too… Michael.”

“Am I allowed to kiss you again?”

You permit his request, pressing your lips against his, and it tastes just as saccharine and tempting, but this time it’s now garnished with satisfaction.

“Congratulations on your wedding, Kaiser!”

A smile tugs at his lips as his teammates congratulate him, well pleased with how the event had been turning out so far. His parents were overjoyed about you and the occasion, and everything was running smoothly.

It’s been around three years since you had given him another chance.

You looked flawless, the outfit you chose complemented all your tones (though he’d argue that any colour and shade would’ve looked beautiful on you).

Kaiser couldn’t find the right words to describe how euphoric he felt. The closest to this happiest he’s ever gotten was when you accepted his proposal.

He's relieved and buzzing with a sense of pride. Not the typical, cocky kind, but the kind of proud where he’d be able to happily tell his younger self about all of this, that it all works out in the end, that he eventually makes up for his actions; that he ends up marrying his long time crush.

Everyone was happy, at least, except for one person.

“I can’t fucking believe you’d date and marry this man.”

Kaiser snickers at Yoichi, someone who he’s been competing against constantly and has been his rival for years but is also your best friend.

“I swear, he’s not that bad. But I understand if you’re disappointed.”

“Excuse me, I’m the perfect boyfriend and husband.”

“Oi, did you hear something? Must’ve been a fly. Didn’t expect any here.” Michael’s jaw drops at being ignored by Yoichi.

“Shit, I’ve forgotten the bug repellent, my bad. My mother might’ve brought some.” Michael lets out an exaggerated gasp at the betrayal.

“You guys are so mean.” You and Yoichi grin at his faux pout.

“Well,” Yoichi begins to slip away. “I’ll leave you two lovebirds alone; I’m going to go say hi to Kunigami and Hiori again. Kaiser I’ll kill you if you ever hurt y/n.” He waves a small bye to you before running off.

“Someone seems to trust you a lot.”

“I- “Before Michael can try to defend himself and respond with a witty comment, your nephew interrupts, with his parents following from behind.

“y/n! Congratulations!” He comes running towards you with a bouquet, so big that it was almost the size of him, it’s a miracle how he’s able to carry it. You quickly accept, hoping that it wasn’t a hassle for him to bring it.

“Thank you. How’d you carry these? They’re too big for you.”

“He insisted.” Your bother replies to you, his wife nodding. “He said he wanted to be the ones to give them.”

A hand playfully ruffles his hair. “Thanks bud.” Even after years he still has the same kindness and enthusiasm.

“We’re going to say hi to everyone, are you coming?”

“Can I talk to Michael and y/n more?” They nod, reminding him to be polite and greet everyone afterwards.

“I can’t believe you’re dating the Michael Kaiser though.” Kaiser stands with pride at your nephew’s disbelief, about to make a confident statement until your nephew continues. “You better behave properly, you clown.”

Again, Michael’s jaw drops and the sight has you biting your lip to avoid laughing uncontrollably. Your nephew runs off to his parents, saying that he wants to see his grandparents.

“Since when did he talk like Yoichi?” He nudges you, still shocked at being called a clown again. “He even waited for his parents to go. And he ran off immediately. ”

“No idea, but I like it.”

“Of course, you do…” He takes a few moments to stare at you, dazed by your beauty and seemingly in a trance. “You’re stunning.”

“What’s with that suddenly?”

“It’s not sudden, you’ve always been cute. And pretty. And just perfect in general.”

“Someone’s cheesy.” But your smile is out of control.

“Thank you.”

“For?”

“Giving me a second chance.” The morning you woke up in his hotel room comes to mind, and although you were conflicted on whether to let him back into your life again or not, you don’t regret anything.

“Liebling, I’m truly forever grateful for it.” His hand takes yours, planting a kiss on your knuckles.

Because it’s been amazing with him. From the small yet sweet things like how he'd pay attention to literally everything about you, and remember every time detail about you to his grand proposal by the beach, the one that was located near your high school, the one outside of the window when he first declared he loved you. You adored it all; the connection you and him had that no one else would ever understand, to how the sun sunk into the sea, breathtakingly beautiful. Even the aftermath of arguments because he always refused to deal with them immaturely, knowing the consequences of not doing things right better than anyone else. The mere thought of you crying could bring him down to his knees.

Now, if someone were to ask you about Kaiser you'd end up stumped, thinking of all his actions of love, from always defending you no matter what, even if it's him against the world and the media, to how he constantly teases you (he never shuts up about how you assumed you had slept with him when you woke up in his hotel room.) He's your everything, your boyfriend, lover, your own proof reader and soon to be husband.

Now, you'd describe him as your favourite, someone you adore beyond what words could capture, not even your experience as an author could ever change that.

“I love you, so so much. I would die for you Liebe.” Kaiser eagerly kisses you, and no matter how many times he does you never get sick of how he tasted, or how soft and tender they were.

“I love you too Mihya.” You breathe out, crimson dusted all over your face as you’re panting in between words.

He really wasn’t lying when he said wanted to love you properly.

#blue lock #blue lock x reader #bllk #bllk x reader #michael kaiser angst #michael kaiser #alexis ness #michael kaiser x you #fluff #second chance romance #michael kaiser x reader #michael kaiser x y/n #hurt to comfort #bllk x you #bllk angst #blue lock x y/n #blue lock x you

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satoujo · 6 months

Text

!disclaimer none of the works featured on this blog belong to me. all reachable creators were asked for permission to have their work linked on here

main directory

KAISER MICHAEL

➵ series: story consisted of multiple chapters

➵ one-shot: a single piece of standalone work; can be any length, such as from 1k to 80k words

➵ drabbles: short piece of writing; typically under 1k words and usually around 100 words

➵ blurbs & others: small short description, headcanons, etc.

❀ = fluff ⋆˚ ✧ = angst ⋆˚ ♡ = smut ⋆˚ ✄ = crack

SERIES

tba

ONE-SHOT

hiding in plain sight (❀✧) by @by-moonflower

warnings/notes: fem!reader, college!au, situationship turned boyfriend, slow burn romance, mutual pining

five dates and a proposal (❀) by @by-moonflower

warnings/notes: pro athlete!kaiser x socialite fem!reader, arranged marriage!au, (slight) enemies to lovers, hurt/comfort, mutual pining

DRABBLE

silly phone calls pt. 1 // silly phone calls pt. 2 (❀) by @by-moonflower

warnings/notes: boyfriend!au, university!au, bickering

BLURBS & OTHERS

tba

(updated: nov 24, 2023)

#michael kaiser angst #michael kaiser smut #michael kaiser fluff #michael kaiser x reader #michael kaiser x you #kaiser x reader #kaiser x you #blue lock x reader #blue lock x you #bllk x reader #bllk x you

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toorurs · 3 months

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love/lost

synopsis: the aftermath of a fight. nothing's been unsaid - worries and anger have been spilled. the only feeling that remains is regret. When michael realized what happened and immediately sought after you.

paring: michael kaiser x gn reader | wordcount: 918 | warnings: michael kaiser (...), angst, established relationship, post-fight

a/n: my first fic on this blog and ofc it has to go to my beloved blondieee. also this is a belated valentines post ig?? happy late valentines day.

he was no stranger to the feeling of anger, disappointment, frustration - you name it, of other people.

there was not a single ounce of his body that regretted what he did in the past.

not when he took you as his partner albeit his mother's disagreement - and rejecting her proposal that she'll set him up with someone better.

not when he told his father that he wanted to pursue a career in football and his father only sighed as he shook his head in disapproval.

and definitely not when he told alexis to fuck off.

he was never unfamiliar with the void that came with it, it was like a parasite that was leeching onto him, benefiting from his egoism. though admittedly it never bothered him too much - to the point where he could not give two fucks about the wretched abyss that surrounded him.

that was until you made your way to his heart. an encounter that we won't forget. you were something that gave the ugly a beautiful new start - a chance to begin all over again.

you were the one that forged a path to his heart just with a simple question.

"if i may ask you, what does snow become when it melts?" it was an unusual question from a sports-reporter - after all he was only used to the old men who'd congratulate him on his win or would ask him stupid questions.

"it becomes water, ..of course." he cringes after hearing how unsure his voice sounded. (he blames it on the dumb question that should actually be really easy to answer but it rather comes over as fucking stupid)

"wrong answer!" a warm smile crept up onto your face "the right answer is spring! when the snow melts spring comes in all its full bloom."

yeah, you were his spring. the spring that belonged to him once. the one that made his heart flutter and yearn for more.

the charming smile you always gave him reminded him of his most cherished memories from his beloved ones.

the smile that he'd often receive from his father when he'd show him a new song on the piano.

the smile that reminded him so much of his mother when she'd look at him with so much love when he showed her a horribly gone wrong cake - though when he thinks back, she probably forced the maids to eat it.

and the grin that always made its way on alexis' face when he helped him score a goal.

but none of them came as close as yours - the smiles that always adorned your face when you were with him.

your smile resembled your beautiful personality and appearance perfectly, he was enamored by everything you did.

the way your fingers flew over his hair to comb through it. how you teasingly only kissed the corner of his lips before a match so he'd get a real kiss as a reward. and how you'd always whisper sweet nothings into his ear when the two of you were cuddled up in your sheets.

you were the one that came to save him from the empty void that surrounded him - the one that had disappeared in an instant whenever you were around.

he swore to never hurt you, no matter what it be. he promised that you were his number one priority, the one that stood above everything else, even his career.

he remembers how the both of you were sitting on your apartment's cozy sofa, how he laid on your lap and you massaged his face.

"so imagine you were asked in an interview if you had to choose me or your football career, what would you choose? be honest”. You said in a stern tone that was laced with insecurity.

"simple, football career. i mean i’m always able to find a new partner or i might even date yoichi then.” he says jokingly. It was a bad joke, he notices, after you lightly slap his cheek.

"ow! what was that for?!!-?" he whines.

"well first, because you said that so lightly and second what the fuck??" comes as your response. (your brows furrowing together doesn't go unnoticed by him).

"I was joking, you know I'd always pick you over anything" he reassures you. "you better or I'll slap you again".

and in this moment he wishes you would, he'd let you hit him as many times as you want - as long as it's enough for you to forgive him.

the sound of rain pattering on the hard cobblestone floor can be heard. a car's tire squelching doesn't go unnoticed either and pits of water that form on the earthy sidewalks only remind him all too well of his own bottomless pit in which he's drowning in without you reaching out your hand to save him.

he tightens his grip around his already wet phone and checks for any new notification - any. (he tried checking on life360 but your phone was dead) and as much as he loved admiring his wallpaper - you with his glasses on, he'd rather have the real thing right here and now to embrace in his arms.

he's met with disappointment as he sees that there is no new notification from you, neither on his socials or whatsapp. the disappointment hits him even harder after going to your chat and seeing that you've still left him on read.

"please..answer" a helpless plea that was barely above a whisper as he continued to dial your number.

e/n: reblogs are greatly appreciated!

#toorurs #michael kaiser #kaiser michael #blue lock x reader #michael kaiser x reader #kaiser michael x reader #bllk x reader #blue lock angst #bllk angst #kaiser x reader #kaiser angst #michael kaiser angst

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kaiser1ns · 1 month

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𝐌𝐚𝐝𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬 [mad-nis] noun.

Type of love that tears you apart and brings you back together, something that you want and don't want, a love you can live with and can't live without. It can break you to million pieces, but only that love can glue you together. Insincere, unlived, abnormally insane, cruel, obsessive. A blessing and a curse, a puzzle made from the most twisted parts of one's mind and heart. A relationship that you both contradict each other and are a mystery to one another. And you stay in this "madness" to figure them out, to receive their love and to give love back.

Michael Kaiser, FUSHIGURO TOJI, Itoshi Sae, Geto Suguru, Oliver Aiku, RYOMEN SUKUNA, Nagi Seishiro, WC Kunigami Rensuke, Gojo Satoru, SHIDOU RYUSEI + your fav

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dark-night-hero · 1 year

Text

Imagine when Michael Kaiser realizes things a little far too late.

Imagine Kaiser wondering when did you started to be so cold? The thing is, you treated him the same as every, it something felt so wrong, so odd. When did you started looking at him like that? "Meine liebe? What's wrong?" He asked as he embrace you from behind and loooking up from the book on your hand, "Nothing." You smile at him, a smile that send shiver down his spine.

Imagine everything was the same as it was before, but he felt like something within you has changed, precisely the way you looks at him was far for different than before. It was so cold and a little hard to read. But you still lean on his touches, still return his smiles, you still kiss him on the lips whenever he would go out and come back from practice. Is he just over thinking?

Imagine it was one of those nights were he would take you to a five star restaurant for a meal, nothing special. He just wanted to take you, seeing you all beautiful and dressed up was enough for him. And yet on the entire meal you never said a word, he was unsure if it was just the fact that you were just preoccupied with the meal or maybe something else. He just hoped that its the former.

"Meine liebe." Looking up from your meal, Kaiser wipe off the sauce off the side of your lips with his thumb before bringing it to his mouth to get a taste of it. Upon seeing him act shamelessly, you felt blood creeping up your face. "Kaiser!" "What?" He chuckle. Everything felt so right.

Imagine, as the two of you ace each other on your bed. As you traces his tattoo all the way from the back of his hand up to his neck, he felt a shiver down his spine as he pulled you close to him, breathing your scent. "Kaiser?" He could only humm in return as his embraces tighten. "Do you have something you want to say to me?" Thinking about it for a moment, he chuckles, not noticing the way you stiffen. But then he slight pull away from you to give you a kiss on the lips. "Ich liebe dich."

Imagine, the truth is Kaiser loves you very much. Like really, he loves you so much. A far little than he could imagine. He when he walked inside the house, the one the two of you have been living together for half a year now and saw you looking so coldly like that. He stiffen. He don't know what he did wrong, nevertheless he must apologise. But does he really doesn't know?

"Meine liebe? What's wrong?" He asked as he hold you by the shoulder when you brush off his usual kiss of a greeting. "It's been half a year." You said and he nod, you must be talking about your relationship right? "So how was it?" "Huh?" "How does it feel to play with my heart?" "Huh?" He almost sounded as a broken record as he kept saying the same thing. He was confused, what are you talking about all of a su- ah.

"What did my brother every do to you to do me like this?" You glare at him. "And even if he does im fact did you something. Does I have anything to do with it?" "Wai-" "No! You wait! I waited two months Kaiser! Two fucking months for things to come out of your damn own fucking mouth and yet I hear nothing!" His heart was painfully beating on his chest as he sees tears started rolling down your cheeks quickly wiped away by you. "So I guess it's true, this. This fuckig relationship means nothing but a damn fucking bet to you?" You looked to hurt, betrayed when you said that.

Imagine the way his mouth open and close. As much as he doesn't want to say it wasn't a bet, that he truly loves you the, that it was love at first sight the moment you walked into the field that day to talk to your damn brother. He doesn't want to sound hypocrite, because he did in fact made a bet with Ness, but it was just a damn excuse on his part so that he could be close to you.

"Scheiße" You curse and once again he flinch. "I should have listened to Noa when he said you were a damn bastard." You spoke brushing off the ever ending tears on your face. "Are you satisfied now? If you are then leave. The half year mark you made with Ness is over, you can leave." When you see him unmoving you push yourself off the counter and shove him hard on the shoulder. "I said leave! I don't want to see your face!" It hurts seeing his face like he was hurting too, like he actually love you. And you know he does, but the trust has already been broken.

Imagine the way he pull you into embrace, letting you hit him if it means venting out the pain you were feeling right now cause by none other than him. "Let go." You said and he shakes his head. "Michael Kaiser, let go." Once again he shake his head and pull you tighter on his chest. "Don't make me repeat myself Michael Kaiser before I regret loving you." "Ju-" He clear his throat as his voice cracked. "Just a minute." Then there was nothing but silence.

Imagine, if someone were to see Kaiser getting kicked out of his own penthouse, others would think it was hilarious. But the truth is that you don't have anywhere to go, Noa doesn't approve of your relationship so you have nowhere to go. And as soon as the door shut behind him, he just stood there before sitting down, leaning against the door and on the other side, he could hear the sound of your cries.

"I mean it when I said I love you, you know? Meine liebe." And as if hearing that he said, only cries can ne heard on the other side. Kaiser was the type of person who would admit his own mistakes, at least to the person he cherishes the most. So he would wait, just like how you waited for the chances he didn't take. He would until you were ready to forgive him. If you could forgive and trust him again, he would.

[ⓒdark-night-hero] 2023°

#blue lock #blue lock imagines #blue lock x reader #bllk x reader #bllk angst #bllk kaiser #kaiser x reader #kaiser x y/n #blue lock kaiser #kaiser x you #michael kaiser #michael kaiser x reader #blue lock fanfic #blue lock x y/n #blue lock x you #bllk x y/n #bllk x you #blue lock angst #kaiser angst

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ode2rin · 11 months

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for so long, michael kaiser had clung to the unwavering belief that nothing in this world is ever impossible.

for him, nothing was beyond his grasp. if he wanted it, he would make it happen.

victory after victory seemed to reinforce his ideology, proving that he could conquer anything. but now, after another triumphant win for bastard munchen, kaiser found himself standing in front of your apartment door, heart pounding with desperation.

he should be with the team, celebrating another win of him turning the impossible in a clutch. but as soon as the match ended, there’s nothing kaiser wanted more than to be with you. to make things right with you.

on the way, he hoped and wished for an even greater triumph – winning back your heart.

he, himself, can’t explain why is here again. it’s just that lately he’s a little lost after you parted ways, and all roads just led him here. to you.

to you, whom he loved more than any glory or fame his name could ever bring. but it was too late to let you know.

and it might be too late for you to open your heart to him again.

but he could try, right? a man could hope. after all, nothing is ever impossible.

his hand trembled as he raised it to knock on the door, his mind filled with memories of your touch, your laughter, and the way your eyes sparkled when you looked at him. it was all slipping away, slipping through his fingers like sand.

what’s the worst thing that could happen? you could break him again in two, that is.

nevertheless, here he stood, wearing his best apology.

if he could show you how he’s hellbent, if he could show you he’s determined to make it better this time, if he could tell you all the right words, you might take his plea. just maybe, you would consider granting him one more chance. it might be a fool's hope, but kaiser would choose the sweetness of false optimism over another night without you.

because again, for the last time, nothing is ever too impossible.

as you opened the door, kaiser couldn't help but wish that you would do the same with your heart. his breath caught in his throat, words failing him momentarily as he took in the sight of you.

you’re as beautiful as the day he lost you.

your beauty was a cruel reminder of what he had lost. it engulfed him like a thorny rose, captivating yet painful, a bittersweet reminder of what once was. your eyes, once filled with adoration, now held a glimmer of indifference.

“take me back,” please.

it was direct. nothing more left to ask you of. it’s not like he hasn’t been here before, asking you about the same thing all over again.

because he did. he had been here before, asking you the same thing, over and over again. each time, a small part of him shattered, but he couldn't let go.

he couldn't let go of the hope that you might find it in your heart to forgive him.

the first time, he was a mess. he was intoxicated, and the fact that he managed to get to your place in such a state could be considered a miracle. kaiser is pretty sure he poured everything that night. words, tears, pleas, and might even be remnants of drinking and dancing all night. the next day, he wakes up on ness's couch. and the realization that you had him picked up brought out the pettiness in him. he was over you, he declared.

the second time, he was in fact, still not over you. it was a random tuesday night, and he arrived at your door in haste, wearing mismatched slippers and disheveled hair. you asked him what he was doing there, and kaiser couldn't find it to tell you that the housekeeper accidentally washed the sweater you left, removing your scent all over it. he couldn’t bring himself to tell you that it was the only thing that’s making him sleep these past nights.

and the third time. now.

he wasn’t as messy as the first, he wasn’t as desperate as the second. this time, his eyes are telling you it is as tired as yours.

you’re looking at him with tired eyes, because you are tired. you were tired – tired of his constant appearances, tired of him showing up only when it was too late. lately, it was hard to tell which hurt more.

yet, he asks you again. just once more. because if he has to ask twice, that’s close to begging. and a prodigy does not beg.

“take me back, y/n.”

but he was no prodigy here. right here, right now, in front of your door, he’s nowhere near a prodigy should be.

“kaiser.”

no.

that’s not his name. you know that’s not his name, at least not to you.

“don’t say anything. i get it now. can i at least hear it then, for the last time? just humor me, pretty.”

say it. say it with my name.

so he’ll know it’s real.

“mihya, i can’t. we’re over.”

and in that moment, michael kaiser finally realized that even he, who had clung to the unwavering belief that nothing in this world is ever impossible, couldn't defy the inevitable outcome of losing you.

this last time, michael kaiser couldn't turn the impossible in his favor.

note. pure word vomit lmao i am: sorry. made this bec lately i've been thinking of kaiser w messy break up hashhashhas he's fit for it me thinks. also! inspired from TS' the last time hehe.

[reader's pov: here!]

[tagging my lovely here: @angelchigiri]

#☁️ my ode to you #mimi kaiser debut !#blue lock x reader #blue lock imagines #michael kaiser x reader #michael kaiser imagines #kaiser x reader #kaiser imagines #michael kaiser x y/n #michael kaiser x you #bllk x y/n #bllk x you #bllk x reader #blue lock x y/n #blue lock x you #blue lock headcanons #michael kaiser #blue lock angst

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khuzena · 1 year

Text

✎Regret, love and death

Itoshi Rin, Itoshi Sae, Michael Kaiser x g/n!reader

Summary: The bllk boys break up with you not knowing you're terminally ill and they meet you again but this time you're dying right in front of them.

Warning: Angst, no fluff, breakup and breakdown, death, grief

A/n: this is super cliche ik but this has been on my mind for months now, it's time i actually write about it. Listening to ditto while making this. I tried to make it g/n so bear with me

Itoshi Rin

"Stay in the middle, like you a little"

Itoshi Rin who left you months ago after a stupid argument he wishes he could've prevented. He tells himself that he doesn't need you anymore and that he'll never open up his heart again.

Itoshi Rin who gets mad when he sees happy couples, he swears it's anger and jealousy but it's mostly confusion and betrayal. He believed that it was your fault that he became this vulnerable but he willingly gave his heart to you.

Being a professional athlete like Itoshi Rin it's common to regularly get some injuries here and there so he visits the hospital.

He waited patiently right outside his clinic, an earbud in one ear and he listened to the environment around him. Squeaky wheelchairs, cries from a hospital room nearby and patients conversing in daily chit-chat. The line at the clinic was taking too long so he decided he'll go next time; but something caught his eye. The soles of his shoes clack on the marble floor at the empty hallway and the music he's listening to but he hears the faint beating of a heart monitor. Then, he sees your name in one hospital room.

He couldn't believe his eyes. There was a folder attached loosely on the door, your name written in lazy cursive and numerous descriptions he couldn't understand. Rereading and rereading the name on the folder over and over again, his eyes narrowed as he decided to look over to the glass window at the door; he saw you. Rin doesn't understand why you were here and why the folder was marked "terminal— confined" . The writings are too messy for him to understand but his heart beats loudly through his body like a gong.

He tries to convince himself it's probably someone else but he knew you too much to know that the one stuck in that wrinkly hospital bed was you.

He has to go, he has to but he doesn't. He takes a deep breath and opens the door. You open your eyes as you realize your peace was disturbed from the loud creaking of the door. You scrunch your nose and blink your eyes as you take a look at the figure standing at the side of your bed, it was Rin.

"You… why are you here?" He whispered, you could barely hear him but he stared down at you with pity, anger, grief— you don't know.

"I should be the one asking you that." Your voice was muffled by the oxygen mask strapped to your head as you sat yourself up and looked up to him, he tried to avoid your gaze as he looked over to the IVs inserted into your wrists, wires everywhere he was sure he almost stepped on one.

Rin furrowed his brows in irritation, all this pent up anger from the break up bursting all at once, "What the fuck happened to you?"

You gave him a weak smile, "A week before we broke up… I was diagnosed with a heart disease. I couldn't tell you what happened to me, then we fought but I was too scared and stressed I broke things off."

Rin breathes raggedly, fear and guilt flooding his senses; wondering why he was such an idiot to leave you.

"Will you get better?"

You smile again at his stupidity, you know he's seen the document attached at the door saying 'patient in hospice' but Rin wants to hear it from you, he wants you to confirm his thoughts. Maybe even deny it so he'll feel better. You feel tears drip down your arm as you watch him shaken like he's seen a ghost.

"I won't, so go now."

Rin wants to pour out all his emotions, everything welling up inside his heart— the thoughts brewing in the depths of his heart that ate him alive from the time you were seperated but he holds himself back.

His knees buckled and his strength prior to this incident dissipated into nothing as he held onto his remaining resolve. Like the coward he always was, he leaves and never comes back… but he will come back to you eventually; with a chrysanthemum in hand this time and a fresh black suit he picked out.

Itoshi Sae

"Don't want no riddle, Say it, Say it back"

Itoshi Sae who visits Japan for the first time in months, only going back to renew his passport.

It wasn't his intention to pass by your old friend group in public, he eavesdropped on their mindless conversation then they started talking about you.

Itoshi Sae listens to their conversation, getting some details about you. Hearing that you got confined somewhere and that there was no one to take care of you other than the nurses and hospice workers stationed at your room.

Itoshi Sae who tries to keep that newfound information out of his mind but the thought of you being confined in a hospital is making his heart race. Not in love nor from the butterflies he used to get when talking to you— no. He couldn't stop thinking of you. He promised to himself to never interact with you, avoid every single thing that reminded him of you but he couldn't. He just couldn't.

Itoshi Sae who visits the hospital and asks where you are, pretending that he was a visitor to the nurses was easier than he thought.

"Are you asking about that patient?"

He nodded, the nurse was stupid enough to fall for his charms as she sent him the directions to your room. Sae knows what dangerous game he's playing, if he comes back to you again then it defeats the purpose of avoiding you forever like he promised himself but he still goes.

It was a nice afternoon, birds chirping and he saw little children from the nursery running around in the hallways with toys in their hands. He mentally prepared himself for what he was about to see, turning away from your hospital room for a moment before entering.

His eyes softened for a moment when he laid his eyes on you, you were reading a book— an eerie one at that. Sae raised an eyebrow when he noticed that you didn't hear him enter, what if you were deliberately ignoring him? He was sure you were but he didn't catch your attention until he stepped closer to your bed, a shadow looming over you as you slowly looked up to him.

The two of you stare at each other for what it felt like forever, he's still looking at you like that. Love in his irises but there's a tint of melancholy.

You could see Sae saying something to you, you tried to read his lips but his words fell on deaf ears.

Sae was getting irritated on why you didn't respond but you took the white board that was resting on your bedside table. He patiently watched you write something on the board, clack, clack, clack.

'Im deaf. I can't hear you.'

Just months ago you were fine but he gets more ill with worry when his mind starts to drift and wonder what could've happened to you when he left you here all alone.

You erased the writing on the board, giddily like a child as you handed him the board next, signaling him to also write you something.

The athlete hesitated for a moment before grabbing the board off your hands, writing something hastily. He feels like if he wasted any more time he'll lose everything— but he knew that he already did the moment when he called it quits months ago.

'What happened', he wrote on the board, streaks of ink staining his palm but that's the least of his worries.

You sat up in a more comfortable position before opening the drawer, taking a clipboard, medical documents clipped to the board. Sae reads the papers, his throat starts burning and he feels tears building up in his eyes. He flips through the papers, information about your condition printed on the tiny pieces of paper as he reads through everything.

You couldn't understand what he was muttering under his breath but you were sure it was something… the way he bit his lip to hold back the tears and the way his hands got sweaty as he scanned the board.

Sae loved many things, you, soccer, coffee and the beach. There was something about hospitals that made him uneasy. Hospitals correlated to injury and death— a big no no for him. But as an athlete, a pro one at that it's not surprising that he regularly visits the hospital for nutrition advice or medicine. Though… this one was his worst visit yet. He told himself that he won't ever cry or love you again, that's why it's 'Sae loved' but he realizes he still loves you. Even though you're stuck on the hospital bed, sickly and dying, your arms littered with scars from the tubes that go in and out your skin and maybe the way you look so frail and skinny now compared to what you looked like months ago; he still loves you. He realized that in this moment he's always going to be looking for you the way you pathetically looked for him in the hospital, wishing he was there after you two broke up.

At least now the gods were merciful enough to grace you with his presence for the last time, even in this situation you still smiled at him like he deserved to see that again.

Itoshi Sae who visits you again tomorrow before you pull off the plug, Pain plastered on his face as he holds you tightly. He broke his promise.

To you, to never hurt you.

To himself, to never love you again.

Michael Kaiser

"Oh say it ditto, Can't wait till the morning, So say it ditto"

Michael Kaiser pretends he's fine after the break up and to distract himself from the pain, he dates other people— looking for someone who can fill the void you carved in his heart, looking for you.

Michael Kaiser who still wears the cardigan you bought him, giving him solace and comfort when he curls up in his bed alone, wishing you were there with him.

You and Kaiser didn't break up on bad terms, more like a confusing and neutral breakup. He told you he was done and you didn't beg him to stay, after all he neglected you for his selfish desires. He's like an icarus who has flown too close to the sun, his ego representing the melting wax wings of icarus— it burned your skin and melted your patience.

Michael Kaiser still stalks you in his other account you forgot that existed. He wouldn't admit it but he patiently waited for an update on your account.

Michael Kaiser who stalks your account and finally sees something. Your parents' post talking about you being stuck in the hospital.

Michael Kaiser doesn't cry, he can't. Images on the posts ingraining— burning itself in the deepest parts of his brain then it triggers something in him. Confusion.

He doesn't know the exact details of your situation but he's too curious to scroll past the post.

Michael Kaiser who gets a cab and arrives at your hospital, like a man with no shame he looks for your room.

It was nighttime and the hospital was uncannily quiet, he wasn't sure why but the guard was doing a terrible job at guarding the entrance of the hospital. Kaiser walks past the sleepy guard, ignoring the thumping sound of the guard falling on the floor as he makes his way to the lady on the desk.

"What brings you in here, sir?"

He pushes up his glasses, "I'm looking for my lover, [patient name]", he says boldly, lying through his teeth but he knows it's the only way they'll let him in.

"Give me a minute," the nurse starts flipping through the hospital log book, "They're at room 405, third floor."

Kaiser nods, thanking the nurse as he takes the elevator.

'ding' Kaiser enters the elevator, checking his watch while waiting for it to arrive at the third floor. The elevator was dimmed and it looked like a scene straight from horror movies, another old lady in a wheelchair strolls to the elevator.

"What's a handsome young man like you doing in the dead of the night here?" The grandma says in a hoarse voice, grey hairs covering her face as she holds onto both her wheelchair and fruits.

Though Kaiser is an asshole, a liar, he naturally had a soft spot for children and the elderly. "I'm here for my… lover" he doesn't know what gave it away but the older woman noticed the hesitance in his voice.

The grandma nodded at his reply, 'ding!'

"I guess this is my stop." Kaiser stepped out of the elevator, waving goodbye to the elderly woman and ambled in the hallway.

The scent of disinfectant invaded his nostrils, though the smell gets more diverse as he passes by different hospital rooms. He hears people screaming and crying at the room to his left and the other room dead silent, as if a corpse inhabited the room to his right.

Sweat starts trickling down his forehead when he counts the hospital room's numbers and realizes he's getting closer to yours. 'shit, shit, shit' his mind spiralling into madness, anxiety as he braces himself for what he's about to see.

His legs started to feel like jelly as his feet dragged him in front of your hospital room. A feeling of uncertainty, something he never felt again after breaking up with you.

Months ago when you two broke up he wondered if maybe you'd crawl back to him, like a child who ran away but comes home again the day after, but you didn't.

The door pulled open as he made his way inside, the lights were turned off but the sound of humming took him by surprise.

"I can hear you, you know."

Oh, that voice. That voice that could soothe him on days like these, your voice so gentle he thinks it's a sweet melody, a lullaby so sweet it would bring the devil down on his knees begging and repenting for forgiveness if he ever heard your voice.

The German boy doesn't come forward, only staring at your disheveled figure on the bed, waiting for death themselves to take you away from your misery.

"Have you eaten yet?"

Your fingers traced the lamp before finding the switch, making a flick sound as the soft illuminating glow lights up the room. You nod as you sit up, hugging yourself as you find comfort in the bandages that wrapped around your body.

"I'm sorry." It was the first time he's ever said this to you in ages, he wished he said this to you back then, he wishes that he was there for you.

Maybe he was the devil, cruel and mean, strong yet so weak. His knees buckled as he let out a choked sob, his fears that builded up couldn't hold in much longer as tears streamed down his face.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Kaiser says in between his sobs, the prideful man being broken down into a pathetic, crying mess.

Your fingers fiddled together in anxiety, you always had that stupid habit of yours when in distress. As much as you couldn't forgive Kaiser— he's too weak, too vulnerable for you to ignore.

Still Kaiser was shameless but not too shameless to go even a few inches closer to your bed, his mind racing— thinking that everything is all his fault as his heart rate goes up.

"Why should I? We're not even together." His chest tightens, if anyone could see him right now they'd think he's a fucking idiot— crying over the dying lover he left to rot in the hospital? Piece of shit.

"Yeah I know." He tries to calm himself down but he knows it's useless when you pick up on his uneasy behavior.

Kaiser wanted to ask you, 'let's get back together?' or maybe 'please forgive me' because he's a shameless prick but it's the first time he doesn't let his pride take over his senses.

He grieves right in front of you, your eyes never leaving his as his body language is signaling you, begging you to say something but it's better that you didn't.

He has all the time in the world to grieve for you after all, he's a shameless, selfish man… isn't he?

Notes: hell nah i'm sorry if there was so many grammar mistakes and stuff this isn't really proofread and i'm thinking of opening requests so like uh what do you guys think should i open requests

Written by @khuzena. Likes, reblogs and comments are always appreciated. ♡

#blue lock fanfic #blue lock x reader #bllk x reader #blue lock #itoshi rin x reader #bllk angst #bllk fluff #blue lock ansgt #michael kaiser x reader #itoshi sae x reader #itoshi sae angst #itoshi rin angst #michael kaiser #what have i done #go girl give us nothing #blue lock fluff #✎♡Zena's thoughts~

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babeeangel · 11 months

Text

a toxic side of your relationship.

because every fairytale has its flaws ~

angsty short texts (<100w\character). Part 2 with more characters upcoming (you can comment for someone specific)

Isagi Yoichi, Reo Mikage, Itsohi Rin, Shidou Ryuusei, Itoshi Sae, Meguru Bachira, Otoya Eita, Michael Kaiser, Rensuke Kunigami.

[pt 2 includes: lorenzo, nagi, barou, yukimiya, karasu, ness] [pt3 includes: aiku, niko, hiori, chigiri, kurona]

Isagi coddles you too much. He feeds in your delusions, mostly by accident, because he apprehends the awkward moment where he breaks you from within. He keeps the harsh truth unbeknownst to you, he wrongfully thinks white lies are for the best. Sometimes reality hits anyways, and someone tells you with authenticity what's wrong with you. It hurts harder, because you’ve always had these extraneous walls protecting you.

Reo thinks materialistic love can make up for anything. He makes mistakes, just like everyone does, but he never really apologizes. He just sends you an impersonal gift, thinking it’ll make you forget.

He’s not always as present as you’d like him to be, but he defends himself saying he provides everything you could wish for. Except sometimes love cannot be touched.

Rin doesn’t realize he has an impact on you. He’s so focused on himself, he forgets his harsh words or dirty looks mean something to others. It’s like he forgets interactions go beyond time. He doesn't understand why get so caught up over something he did. “Why does he matters to you that much ?” He won’t accept that he is now part of someone else’s everyday life.

Shidou pushes your buttons on purpose. When you fight, he does and says exactly what he knows will make you out of your mind. He considers that the one that gets the loudest ‘lost’, so he will make it happen. That’s also his way of taking out his anger, making you the maddest possible. He will cross lines to make you sad or angry. He doesn't know where to stop, it's kinda immature.

Sae lowers your self-esteem with how better he is than you. You know that he surpasses you at everything, it’s almost ridiculous. Looks, intellect, strength, sociability. You’re just constantly reminded that everyone will love him better. His ego stops him from denying it or comforting you. Deep down, he likes feeling superior.

Bachira can be judgy. He has this look that makes you feel so stupid. When he doesn’t approve of something, you’ll just know. Because he thinks he has the singular right answer for everything. Sometimes you feel like you should not be entirely yourself, because he’ll have something to object to.

Kunigami is not the same in group settings as he is when alone with you. When he’s with his friends, it’s like he changes from a less thoughtful, caring person, to a sneery, detached individual. He probably doesn't do it on purpose, but it makes you feel so dumb and belittled.

Otoya is not as involved as you. He cares so little for your relationship, especially compared to you. He acts detached, is passive and sometimes even has the nerve to refuse plans you offer. If you didn’t do anything, your relationship would probably melt off instantly. It’s like he doesn't value your love to its true significance.

Kaiser gaslights you. He hates arguments and he hates being wrong. So if you even mention the possibility of him fucking up, he will completely turn it around to make you the bad guy. And if he does apologize, you know it comes with guilt tripping and unfulfilled promises. It’s like he cannot admit his mistakes, but on top of that, he blames it on you.

A\N: thought of this because i want my Isagi person who will always agree with me even when i'm wrong~ Unrealistic tho, ik

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gisele0127 · 8 months

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michael kaiser as your boyfriend ❥

he talks non stop about you to his parents, so by the time you meet them they know everything about you.

sassiest bf ever.

he fell first and harder (he won’t admit it though)

he has an ungodly amount of pillows so when it’s time for bed you two are so hot.

he prefers little spoon.

he’s insecure about his laugh but it’s the cutest thing ever.

ness played matchmaker :)

he calls you at ungodly hours while he’s away.

you two have a pet cat (she’s his baby)

his favorite spot to kiss you is your temple.

his love language is physical touch but as time goes on it’s words of affirmation.

you two got matching tattoos (you have a blue rose on your back)

at first he didn’t want kids but now he wants a little girl :)

#blue lock #blue lock fluff #blue lock x reader #blue lock x you #bllk headcanons #bllk x reader #bllk imagines #bllk fluff #michael kaiser angst #michael kaiser x you #michael kaiser blue lock #michael kaiser #bllk michael kaiser #michael kaiser x reader

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stellayuta · 10 months

Note

Rin doing Yoga in the anime had me bawlinggg idk why It also put the image of Yoga Sex with Rin in my mind and now I can't stop thinking about ittt

How about writing something about that?

thanks for putting the image in my head too

mdni, 18+ only

★Rin Itoshi - Yoga S*x☆

The 'R' in Rin stood for routine. He was awake by 5 AM and done with his early morning strength training and jog by 7 AM. To ease the pain of exhausting his stamina and muscles at dawn, he chose Yoga as a means to stretch his body out and soothe the soreness. The upkeep of being a pro footballer was not a regular man's deal after all.

You had never seen his routine ever before because you loved your sleep more than Rin did. In fact, you only knew about his routine in detail because his sports manager scolded him because he refused to take a break from working out even during his off time from the football season. You on the other hand, if there wasn't a reason to wake up before 8:00 AM, you won't. That was the law. Usually, you'd just join a freshly rejuvenated Rin for a hearty breakfast with a yawn and kickstart your day.

One fine morning though, you were forced awake by the sheer heat of the house. It was the middle of the harshest summer Japan had to offer as of late, and you were hoping that for whatever reason the AC was off, it'd better be a good one. You got out of the bed, kicking the musty sheets away from you and swiped at the sweat forming on your forehead. You were melting away even when you were only in a pair of skimpy shorts and a paper-thin tank top. You checked the time before you made your way out of your bedroom - 7:00 AM. The rest of the house was a degree cooler than your oven-like bedroom, but it was enough for you to forget where the thermostat was. That's when you remember that it was Rin who usually handled the thermostat. Maybe it was him who switched the AC off? But... why?

You make your way to the living room to locate the thermostat and are greeted by the most astonishing and unexpected sight right in front of you.

Rin Itoshi's bare back is facing you as he stretches himself out into complicated poses on his yoga mat while soaking in the radiant sun seeping in from the open windows. There is not a single item of clothing on his body. He sighs as he skillfully changes positions and focuses on the left side of his body, balancing himself on the mat. You gawk at his marvelous form as Rin's body shines lusciously under the sunlight, as if lathered by coconut oil and Epsom salts and his own sweat - which it probably is.

"Rin?" you call out without meaning to, making the Itoshi jerk his head up in confusion and smiling when he sees you.

"You up early?" he asks as if he isn't laid out in front of you like a whole meal ready to be ravished.

"Well, the AC woke me up." you say honestly, approaching him as he seats himself on his mat in a lotus pose. You stare at how his limp member and ball sack hang, tucked inside his folded thighs. That's all you can stare at or pay attention to now as you feel a shiver creep up your core and you press your legs together.

"That was my bad. I'm sorry, I usually do this out on the balcony but the neighbors are doing garden-work and obviously, I don't want them to see." he says. Foolish Rin...

"Have you been out on the balcony doing yoga butt naked everyday?" you exclaim. "Rin! People other than the neighbors can see you too you idiot!"

"Are you worried someone might click pictures?" he asks coyly, holding out his hand to entrap yours. It is all slick and sticky with oil and heats up your body even more.

"Have you seen yourself? Anyone would." You say, playing with the hem of your shorts with your other hand. Things are getting sticky inside your body too now.

"Want to try it?" Rin asks, already sliding your shorts down your bare thighs. You don't sleep with underwear on when wearing those pair of shorts. "Oh, look at that." Rin says, cocking his head at the bare delta of your womanhood.

"Come here." he says, kissing your mound generously making you whimper. You grab at his green hair and try to stop yourself from crumbling.

"Y/N. Position your knee like this." he says, folding you knee and pressing your foot to the thigh of your other leg.

"Hands up and palms together." he demands and you follow, keenly trying to balance on one leg. "That's the tree pose." he tells you and you nod. "Great position for what I'm about to do." he says with a smirk, inching closer, his lower lashes hitting your thighs.

The way Rin ravages you over the next few minutes has you praying you don't fall over. The position gives Rin enough freedom to hit some of the most stubborn and well-hidden bundles of nerve inside you with relative ease. His tongue is as flexible as his body was a while ago. You are left croaking as Rin digs his nails into the sides of thighs, shamelessly making slurping noises as he eats you out. Soon enough, you let your hands free from the pose and start rolling your hips onto his face, eyeing him from the top - his reactions, the way his brows tense up, the way he looks up at you occasionally. You force him to hit your most sensitive innards as you finally come undone on his tongue and face without asking. Unbeknownst to you, the lewdness of the whole situation and Rin's skill made you come a LOT. As your eyes are shut and you are unable to process anything around you, Rin is collecting your plentiful essence in his palms. When you finally come to and regain your usual breathing rhythm you find Rin playing with the sticky substance in his hands.

"R-rin?" you ask, eyelids half closed. "What are you doing with that, wipe it off!"

"Nah." Rin says, keeping his eyes on your cum in his hands. "I was in a dilemma since I ran out of oil for you, but you solved my problem." he says and it takes a second for you to understand what he's about to do.

He takes his palms and rubs them all over your body. Your chest, your hips, your navel and your thighs.

"Feel good?" he asks, pressing your back to make you lay on the ground on all fours. "Feels good to be covered in your own slick?"

"Anything for you, Rinnie." you say, wondering why he is pulling one of your legs horizontally. "You're so weird you know."

"I know." he admits. "Balancing Table Pose."

"Wha-?" Before you can finish your question though, Rin rams full force into you from behind. "Keep you other hand up, pretty please. I don't like it when the form is incorrect."

you sniff as your muscles hurt from maintaining the pose. Yet still, after a few seconds your body gets used to it and the pleasure doubles as one each of your arms and legs is up in the air while Rin's pace increases. He presses his chest against your back and keeps the rhythm going, pounding in and out savagely. His angle is so unpredictable, his length is going left and right and top and bottom inside of you, making you scream his name in pleasure. You feel the head of his member in full intensity with one leg up and you feel it's bulbous shape ebb at your cervix with how long Rin is. You so want to see how red his tip is, how angrily it must be leaking out pre-cum right now.

"Ah, just a bit more." he says next to your ear, huffing and puffing as he increases the power of his thrust as you feel your eyes roll back into your head.

"Ah, There. Yes!" Rin scrunches up his face. "Yes!" his tongue lolls out - an occurrence when he is at peak pleasure.

He empties himself inside of you as you feel your abdomen fill up with his sticky liquid.

"There we go." he says, gasping and pulling himself out of you as you drip all over onto his mat, sinking to your knees.

"Session Complete." he says, bringing his towel to your hole.

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kitorin · 11 months

Text

what a time.

contents. 2.084k words, hurt no comfort, gaslighting, angst, doubting reality, really toxic in general, middle and high school au, unestablished relationship, nudity (kind of??)

Annoying.

If someone were to ask you about Michael Kaiser, that's how you'd answer.

Other valid adjectives were insufferable, irritating and infuriating. And honorable mentions went to vexing and exasperating.

He's always been that way, talkative and you'd daresay even clingy, from the day you first met him, in the middle of class amidst chaos and excitement.

"Hey."

"Hello?" Entering high school was already scary enough, you certainly did not want to deal with your social awkwardness and an unfairly tall blond man you've never spoken to before.

Despite starting it, he didn't continue the conversation, cerulean, unreadable eyes only staring. It was unsettling, and was beginning to make you a bit worried.

His lips curved into a mischievous smirk, before walking away.

Needless to say, he was weird.

That odd interaction from him, was the initiation of whatever peculiar relationship the two of you had.

"How do you like your coffee? You seem like someone who likes it really dark" He turned around during math class randomly just to ask you.

"May I squish your cheeks?" A bizarre request which you didn't even answer to since you were too shocked to respond.

"I shall not let you people ruin their innocence." A peculiar announcement after realizing you didn't understand sexual jokes.

You weren't exactly close friends. You didn't text each other outside of school or sit with each other every single class. Not once have you ever hung out outside of school.

Yet he still lingered on the boundaries of friends and lovers.

It's a vivid memory, hard to forget. You and your classmates were lined up against a wall, waiting for a teacher.

"Hey y/n." Your teeth bite your lip nervously at the inevitable conversation that was going to occur.

"Yes-?" Kaiser barely gave you an opportunity to respond, as you're now pressed up against the wall, long arms trapping you.

He didn't say anything. Only maintaining eye contact with you, sapphire boring into your soul. You don't say anything either, as the rest of the class swoons over this dramatic gesture.

The awkward atmosphere remains, and the first instinct you had was to slap him. Out of surprise he cupped his cheek, but still laughed joyfully. It wasn't necessarily hateful strike but rather a flustered one.

But even then he came crawling back to annoy you.

"I hate him." You tell your friend after another period of dealing with Michael's clinginess. This time, he was asking you what you'd do with a million dollars ("Go to Japan, theoretically that'd be the best because of currency conversion rates.") and started an argument about whether a million dollars was truly a lot or not with the surrounding classmates.

"Why's he so obsessed with you? It's been like this since forever." Given that your friend was also in the same class as both you and Kaiser they witnessed his behavior first hand. "He's so weird."

You hum with agreement as you watch him run off to Ness and the rest of his friend group.

It's been years, years of his clingy attention and affection towards you (or as your friend labelled it, 'obsession').

Years, yet you still find yourself pondering why, why act like this, why you? Why were you receiving this treatment? He wasn't this nice to people unless they were close friends, typically he'd rudely dismiss others. You had better things to worry about, such as the transition to university and what you were planning to do with your future, yet the question of why remained strong in your mind.

It's not like this behavior made things any easier for you. In fact it was only amplifying your confusion.

It's stuffy inside the fitness lab, with the constant slam of weights and chattering (of your PE classmates). Nothing particularly exciting happened in here, all you did was workout whilst gazing into the glass panel, which exposed the contents of the cycling room. Gazing wasn't even the right word, you were zoning out, paying no attention to the world around you.

That was, until you noticed someone exposing their stomach inside the cycling room, with someone else reaching out for their abs. Of course it had to be Kaiser.

The event pulled you out of your daze, the boy with Kaiser having an embarrassed and flustered expression, while yours was pure shock. You did not want to see that. Nor needed to.

As if the situation wasn't weird enough, Kaiser pushes the boy aside, all while maintaining eye contact. As per usual, his aquamarine eyes still evoked that unsettling emotion within you.

And then. His hand grasps the rim of his jacket and shirt, slowly lifting up.

You're quick to realize what his intentions were, and immediately cover your eyes, to save yourself from embarrassment and discomfort.

It's been hours since then. Difficult ones.

You're now in bed, and supposed to be sleeping soon, but the curiosity and panic of your thoughts won't permit that.

Something's clearly wrong. Michael Kaiser's antics were always burnt into your mind due to how memorable they were, but never before had they consistently replayed.

Now you're the odd one. Why couldn't you stop thinking about the incident in the fitness lab?

Why would he do that?

What if, you didn't look away-?

You face plant into your pillow, disgusted at the possibility of wanting to see underneath.

What is wrong with you. You hate him. A lot.

But no matter how long you spend rambling about how annoying he was and your loathing for him, it wasn't legitimate or spiteful hate. It's not the kind of 'hate' you experience because of the harsh education system or any of the bullying that occurred here. It was more, more like...

You can't put your finger on it. And that's another thing you really do hate. The difficulty of fully comprehending and understanding Michael Kaiser's actions and intentions.

That, genuinely frustrates you.

An attempt is made to stabilize your breathing and to quell the violent pounding of your heart, and it fails. Badly.

And you're back to the incident in the fitness lab, almost dying of curiosity of what the hell was going on in Kaiser's head.

As a response your face burns, the warm sensation causing you to bury your face in the pillow, as if it'd eradicate this new emotion of yours.

There's no point in avoiding it now, but as you slowly realize what may be going on, a mix of dread, embarrassment, and surprise churn inside of your stomach.

You, like Michael Kaiser, the Kaiser who had been obsessing over you ever since the start of middle school...?

And as if the universe was transpiring against your confusion and denial, you began to recall moments with him.

The small ones, where he'd ask about your younger siblings with great interest, as well as wish for their success of getting into classes for the academically gifted. Or how he'd try to convince you to play first person shooter games with him and Ness (you declined due to not having the right devices for video games).

The grander ones too. Like the tense kabedon (he was probably feeling great about himself as you panicked during those few moments), or that one time outside of English.

The half exposed corridor engulfed with cold wind, as the open hallway provided the (always) beautiful view. The coast was on display, waves of ultramarine and navy regularly swallowing the sand, with dots of boats bobbing up and down with the currents. The rest of the view was adorned with the residency nearby, clouds decorating the sky and the sun shying away behind said clouds.

It felt great, as you hurried to English. It was easy to feel at peace, with the wind caressing your hair and face, the cool sensation juxtaposing the warmth of your uniform.

But that tranquility was soon disturbed, as you heard Kaiser yell, shamelessly, as if he didn't care about anyone else hearing.

"y/n l/n, I love you !"

The claim had flustered you so much that your legs ended up walking as fast as possible, wanting to avoid being caught blushing and stuttering. A cheeky giggle followed his bold exclamation.

It's his fault. Not yours, you simply tried to exist normally, go to school normally, and be educated normally. It's his fault, not yours, he's the one who's been spending his time on you.

You've calmed down. At least that's what you've convinced yourself, but your heart still beats ever so intensely.

Maybe it wouldn't be too bad to reciprocate his affection?

Sure love was foreign to you, but after all the endearment from him, it was only proof of how good you are together, right?

The idea of giving into liking someone was uncomfortable, in fact it was almost horrifying.

But isn't that the point? Vulnerability is scary but the risks of love are supposed to be fruitful and worth the effort.

"Look, are you sure you meant something to him?"

Kira, an old friend asked, skeptical of what you told him. This year you had gotten closer, and decided it was a smart move to tell him, given that they were both on the soccer team which could've helped. But your prediction was sadly incorrect.

"Of course I do, I just don't know what happened to him recently and wanted to ask, but I won't ever get a moment with him alone."

With apprehension and timidity strangling you, you found it difficult to approach him without letting others know of the conflicting emotions within you. Frustratingly, Kaiser was never alone.

"But are you sure?"

His doubt only tightened the anxiety suffocating you. Why wouldn't an old friend of yours believe you?

"Of course-"

"Are you really sure though, you're overreacting, it's not like you were in love."

"B-" But he said he loved me. Obviously, it was a while ago, but the all the interactions between you two weren't mere fragments of your imagination.

"Look, you must be going crazy, you're remembering stuff wrong. And I'm sorry, but the other day he told Isagi that you were all his."

You weren't sure whether to feel heartbroken at the possibility of you being simply delusional, or the last part of his statement.

But there's no way you were crazy, nothing was wrong with you. You could accept a one sided crush, but this?

You didn't make anything up. You know that really well, but the chance that you're simply just mentally deranged scares you. Because, what if Kira's right? That meant all that time with him weren't real, that you're only someone in the background, remaining unloved.

You ignore that thought. At least try to. Because you couldn't have imagined that sort of attention from another anyways, and you deserved to have your story heard, and not to start struggling to understand reality properly.

You feel like a fool. A pathetic one.

Because no matter how hard you clung onto those heart warming memories, it didn't change the bitter coldness of your current reality. It's not like you were trying to force reciprocation, you just wanted one thing. Closure.

It didn't even take long. Years of you and Kaiser seemed to disappear, without explanation, and it was his fault.

The swooning and fangirling over you two dissolved to shocked "Kaiser's spoken to you before??"s and your friendship dissipated into nothingness; mere classmates who never talk.

It hurt. All of it did. The death of your relationship with him, and how no one seemed to remember. The fact that you went from a significant part of his school life to a background character. While you were in pain, he was living life as if he'd never met you.

Before you knew it everything had changed.

The begging for school help and academic compliments became unnecessary insults and shit talk of calling you a bitch for having high standards for your grades.

Hours of badminton and admiration of your skill harshly converted to dismissal of your presence and abilities.

Playful declarations of you being his soulmate turned into him inflicting huge discomfort with his insensitive words.

The passionate "I love you" had disintegrated into nothing, turned into ashes of mere acquaintances and distant classmates.

The unserious "I hate him" had become a genuine one, real hate blossoming within your soul and hurt forever blemishing your heart, as you watch him remain completely unscathed, grinning ear to ear as if nothing happened.

#blue lock #blue lock x reader #bllk #bllk x reader #michael kaiser #bluelock #alexis ness #michael kaiser x reader #michael kaiser x y/n #michael kaiser x you #hurt no comfort #michael kaiser angst #michael kaiser blue lock #michael kaiser bllk #angst #oneshot

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shininjjongg · 10 months

Text

It’s easy to hate Michael Kaiser

Author’s note: A small drabble cuz im a huge sucker for enemies to lovers trope

Pairing: Michael Kaiser x gn!reader

word count: 1k

Warnings: Alcohol, verbal abuse, aggressive behaviour, physical assault, sexual assault, bullying.

It is easy to hate Michael Kaiser.

There is a plethora of reasons to hate Michael Kaiser.

He's arrogant, annoying, self-centred, rude, and, most importantly, unprofessional.

Michael Kaiser made your life a living hell all because he is unprofessional and can not draw a line between work life and personal feelings.

Kaiser despised your guts, and he never shied away from making it known to everyone and their grandmas.

You're not certain as to what could have possibly caused this rowdy irritation he feels whenever you enter his field of vision.

You tried to be civil, you really did. We're all adults here, right? Wrong. Michael Kaiser is nothing but an overgrown child. You thought you could work with him despite him cursing under his breath each time you tried to hold a conversation with him. It's not like you were trying to chat him up; no, you were just trying to give him important information about his upcoming matches and events that were planned.

He was insufferable. You have considered leaving the job several times, all because of Kaiser and his inability to keep personal feelings out of his professional life.

He picked at you every chance he got. You were 5 minutes late to the meetings? No worries, Kaiser has already been complaining about you being unpunctual for the last 20 minutes. You accidentally messed the times in his schedule for the week? He will remind you of that every time he sees your face. You went to get a coffee from the cafeteria but didn't grab one for him? What kind of a manager are you even if you can't do your job properly.

The first time you met Kaiser was 6 months ago when you were assigned to be Bastard Munchens manager. If you had known the absolute nightmare that Michael Kaiser would be towards you, you would have NEVER taken the job.

On your first day, you were introduced to all the players of the team; they were all nice and welcomed you warmly, except Kaiser, who didn't even glance your way. Initially, you thought that maybe he just had a bad day. But you knew you were lying to yourself, you've heard what people say about him, about his character.

You refused to believe the essence of Michael Kaiser was to be a jerk. He can't be that bad, right? Wrong. Kaiser made sure he proved to you each day why he had the reputation of number one bastard in Bastard Munchen.

After winning a particularly hard match, the whole team decided to go celebrate and invited you as well. Even tho you were hesitant, considering Kaiser would go out of his way to make you feel uncomfortable, you still agreed. One night out wouldn't hurt, would it?

After arriving at the club, everyone scattered around doing their own thing, dancing, drinking, flirting. You were sitting at the bar, staring at your drink and listening to Ness talk about this amazing goal Kaiser landed in the match.

You love Ness, truly you do, but god, all he ever talked about is Kaiser. You were honestly getting sick of it. After not-so-careful consideration, you excused yourself to the restroom to freshen up a bit.

Upon entering the restroom, you heard someone follow you right away, not that you cared enough to pay attention to who it was that entered.

You let out a surprised yelp when you suddenly felt someone press themselves to you and cage you between their body and the counter. Shocked and scared, you didn't know what to do or what to say, anxiety and fear taking over your body as you started shaking.

Looking in the mirror, you saw the predator's face. It was the guy who had been glaring at you ever since you stepped a foot into the club. His intense staring made you uncomfortable, but you were here with Bastard Munchen, they would never let anyone lay a finger on their precious manager.

Alas, you didn't think the guy would be such a creep to follow you into the restroom to make a move. A loud banging noise broke you away from your thoughts. He had instinctively let go of you due to the loud noise, and by the time he had figured out there was no real danger, you had already made a beeline towards the door.

Hurrying back to Ness to gather up all your belonging and bid goodbye as you left the club and called Uber.

Upon arrival at your apartment, you collapsed. Head hanging low, lost in thoughts. You had escaped by pure luck. Who knows what that creep was planning to do.

Deciding to relax a bit you ran a hot bath and plopped yourself in it. Sighing heavy as your skin came in contact with the water. All you want to do is wash away everything that happened that night.

After an hour or so you had already gotten out of the bath and were getting ready for bed when you heard aggressive knocking at your door.

"Who in the world is banging on my door at 3 in the morning."

Scoffing, you made your way to the front door, opening it.

Nothing in the world could have prepared you for the sight you had witnessed. There he stood, in all his glory, Michael Kaiser.

Upon further inspection, you noticed he reeked of alcohol and could barely stand on his own, and... he was covered in blood.

Wait... why was he covered in blood. Is he hurt? Did he hurt someone? Why did he come to you? What was going on?

You mind became consumed by tens of thousands of unanswered questions and before you could speak he beat you to it.

"You okay?" he mumbled in a low tone.

"I'm supposed to be the one asking the question! What happened? Are you hurt??" you hurriedly spoke while opening the door wider to let Kaiser in.

"'m okay, not my blood" he said as he stumbled into your apartment

"Did you get into a fight?" now, you were getting pissed. Of course he got into a fight, it's Kaiser we're talking about.

"I beat up the guy who touched you." he said nonchalantly while making his way into your living room.

Did he beat up the guy from the restroom?

Before you could process what he said, he turned back to face you and said

"Came to make sure you're okay"

It's easy to hate Michael Kaiser, he's arrogant, annoying, self-centred, rude, and, most importantly, unprofessional.

#michael kaiser #kaiser #bllk #bllk angst #bllk imagines #bllk x reader #kaiser x y/n #kaiser x reader #kaiser angst #michael kaiser x reader #blue lock #blue lock x reader #kaiser x gn!reader #bllk kaiser

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yuaniel · 11 months

Text

WHEN THEY SEE YOU WEARING LINGERIE

with : reo, rin, kaiser, sae, ness

tw! nsfw, mentions of porn

Reo is flushed, he wants to touch himself so badly, too bad he was tied down. You sat down his lap and started kissing him. Your belly hit his dick, and he tried so hard to hump to at least get friction. You began teasing his tip with your thumb. His eyes rolled up to his skull, he was in heaven, he swore he could’ve came immediately. “Y/n please stop teasing, I can’t help it anymore, please~”

“Rin, come on don’t be shy come touch me, or maybe you could fuck me right now” you say. Rin muffles as his drool drips down his beautifully built body, the gagging device and the ties were holding him down, his dick is so hard it hurts. “You’re so cute Rinnie.” You went down on your knees and started sucking on his tip while tracing his veins, he whimpers, he really wants to fuck you till the break of dawn right now, but theres things holding him down. He swore once he gets untied he will fuck you till you’re humbled.

Kaiser looks at you like you’re an angel sent from heaven, but oh the way you make his dick feel makes him feel like his being punished by a succubus, your lingerie is so beautiful but he wants to rip it all off to see all of you, he wants you to ride him faster but his hands are tied, you thrusted slowly to tease him, he moans, his moans can put a shame to porn stars, he is so vocal, Kaiser feels that he is about to cum, his eyes rolling back, his hair messy, he was breathing hard. You sensed that he was about to cum so, you pulled out. Kaiser was shocked, “y/n baby come on.. I was so close shit”

Sae was shocked when he woke up and see that he was tied down to the bed, he turned around in panic, that was till you peeked your head in your huge walk in closet, you opened the door and there you were, in your slutty lingerie only from the best manufacturers, sae picked that out for you. You went up to the bed and sat on his crotch, oh how badly he wanted to fuck you. “Good morning sae~” you said in a slutty tone. “Please y/n, fuck me.” You began to grind on his crotch and he was going crazy, to bad you were only starting

Ness was crying, begging to be touched, his dick felt so sensitive, the vibrator felt so good, he lost his patience and was crying already “please y/n please… n-need it now ah-“ he looked adorable, you slowly rubbed your clit to his tip, and began seductively rubbing between the lingerie ties. He was a moaning mess, you felt bad and decided to give him what he wanted, after all he’s been a good boy..

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nerdiel-has-no-braincells · 8 months

Text

If I Stay

ft: michael kaiser x f!reader

summary: you don’t know how you got into this predicament, taking beating after beating, insult after insult, all for what? for your daughter, who your fiancée loves more than anything. you begin to think back on how you put yourself into this position

cw: aged!up, abusive relationship (not michael & reader), angst, physical and emotional abuse (not michael & reader), please do not read if this will trigger you (for your own safety and mental well being 🫶🏻)

It’s always easy to say that we would never let a significant other treat us badly. It’s so easy to tell ourselves that we respect ourselves too much to allow someone to put us down.

When we’re on the outside, we see toxic relationships and always tell ourselves that we’ll never allow ourselves to be in one until we do become in one. How hard is it to leave when you don’t remember the reason why you originally left?

That’s what you keep asking yourself as you look at your fiancée of 5 years. Why do you stay? Why can’t you bring yourself to leave?

Is it love? Is it because you’re stuck? Is it because you want to make it work? You don’t have an answer to these questions. But when you look at your 2 year old daughter, you can’t help but wish she wouldn’t hear her father yelling at you, calling you every name that had ever existed. You prayed she wouldn’t see the bruises that covered your body, causing you to be forced to wear sweaters even during the hottest seasons because he doesn’t try to leave bruises in easily hidden places.

You prayed so hard every night that your daughter would never allow herself to be in a relationship as toxic as yours.

You shielded your daughter from seeing and hearing the fights that go on in the night. You shed silent tears in order to not wake her from her slumber as you cowered in the corner taking punch after punch.

Your fiancée was a narcissist in the worst way. Not only was everything your fault, you didn’t do anything, you paid for nothing, and you never took care of your daughter even though you were the primary caregiver, everything was in your name, you were the one who had a steady job while your fiancée was once again unable to work due to his “back injury” that he obtained while at work.

He really did though, in the beginning. He went to physical therapy and you were there for him every step of the way until it became months after he had finished his therapy and was cleared to go back to work. Instead, he used it as an excuse to not work, do chores, anything.

Your days include taking care of your daughter, going to work at one of your two jobs, going to your second job, coming home to clean, make dinner, and continue taking care of your daughter. All while your fiancée sat on the couch playing games.

While you were at work, your daughter stayed with your mother, who had been worried for your well being. You never told her what really happens at home, always playing it off as just another silly argument, saying he was going to anger management, and that things were getting better. Your mother knew better, though, but the only thing she could do was love and be there for you. She’s tried to help you; tried to get you to leave, but you couldn’t bring yourself to. You tell yourself time and time again that you love him and that’s the reason why you stay. You chose to relish in the good times rather than the bad, even when the bad outweighed the good.

That being said, you were looking forward to the weekend. Your darling baby girl had recently turned 3 and her birthday party was on Saturday. Your best friends, who you considered as family, were coming to spend time with your daughter.

They’ve always expressed their concerns about your fiancée to you, but they choose to love and support you no matter what.

Because you’re paying for everything out of pocket, you had reached out to take a rain check on the party because you didn’t have the money to be able to afford to take everyone swimming. One of your friends, Kathrin, offered to pay for it instead just so that your daughter could spend the day having fun with her cousins and aunts. You were so thankful and had talked to your fiancée about it, to which he agreed to it.

The day of the party, however, you were in the middle of getting your daughter ready for her party by dressing her in her favorite party dress, and your husband had passed by your daughter’s room after just waking up. Stopping, he turned back around and looked at you in anger, causing the hair on your arms and nape to stand. You instinctively turned around and shielded your daughter behind you as you stared at your fiancée, waiting for him to say something as he glowered down at you.

“Tell your little friend that she’s not paying for shit.” He finally speaks. “I don’t fucking accept handouts.”

You stared at him in disbelief.

“It’s not a handout. Kathrin genuinely wants Emma to have fun with her cousins and aunts.” You responded, careful to not raise your voice or change your calm tone. You didn’t want to start an argument but calmly talk it out. Sometimes he’d be in a good mood to talk things out and you were hoping, praying that today was one of those days.

“She’s not paying for anything.” He seethed. Looks like today wasn’t one of those days.

“All she’s trying to do is make me look bad. Tell her she’s not paying for shit.”

You scoffed before you glanced down at your daughter. Giving her a small smile, you tell her to go play with her toys so that she wouldn’t be in the same room as the impending argument that would shortly unfold before looking at your fiancée.

“She’s not making you look bad. Sometimes people need help and it’s ok to accept help. She just genuinely wants to make Emma happy.” You respond. When it came to your daughter’s well-being and happiness, you found your voice.

Your fiancée’s glare never wavered. He didn’t like when you talked back to him, especially when you were attempting to make him look like a fool.

“I know what your friends think about me. You think I’m fucking dumb?!” He shouted, causing you to flinch.

Wrong move.

He immediately reached out and grabbed you by your neck, lifting you up to where your feet barely touched the floor, dangling below. You grabbed onto his wrist, trying to get him to loosen his hold onto you until he threw you against the door causing you to choke in pain.

“I don’t give a fuck if your friends want to talk shit to me but the moment you open your mouth, you bet your stupid ass I’m going to shut you up myself.”

Squeezing his fingers around your throat, you feel your airwaves close and you begin to gasp for breath. Your body’s alarm bells ring and you begin to struggle and scratch at his hands and wrist, trying to loosen his grip on you.

In the corner of your tear filled eyes, you see your daughter in the hall as she sees her father choking you and begins to cry.

The one weakness your fiancée has is his daughter, so when he hears her cries, he immediately drops his guard and looks over at her. Dropping you to the floor, he runs over to her and scoops her up in his arms.

“It’s ok sweetheart, daddy’s got you now.” He soothes as he walks away, leaving you coughing on the floor trying to find your breath.

Damn him. Fucking damn him.

You reach for your phone and send a quick text to your friends that the party was cancelled. When they expressed their worries and asked what happened, you didn’t respond back.

As soon as you caught your breath, you go into the bathroom, turning on the light and looking into the mirror. Forming on your neck were bruises in the shape of your fiancée’s fingers, steadily growing darker as time passed by.

The tears that had formed in your eyes earlier fell and you felt yourself sink onto the floor. Covering your mouth with your hand, you finally let yourself cry.

That night, you gently got out of bed and dressed yourself in clothes that would hide your arms and neck. After your fiancée had calmed down, he apologized for what he did to you and cried asking for your forgiveness, which as always, you forgave him.

After putting your daughter to bed, he came up behind you and began to kiss your neck, apologizing over and over while you cleaned the dishes from dinner.

This happens every time. He would have an outburst, hit you, and then beg your forgiveness when he felt horny. So you ended up forgiving and sleeping with him. Today wasn’t any different and you wanted nothing more than to take your daughter and leave.

But you couldn’t do that to him. He loved his daughter more than anything and despite how horrible he is to you, he’s an amazing and wonderful father. Emma is his entire world and she loves her father very much.

Your friends and family have told you that it wasn’t healthy for her to be raised in an environment where you were being abused. You knew it. But you just couldn’t take her away from him so long as he never laid a hand on her. And a part of you felt like he knew that.

Leaving to go to the convenience store, you thought back on when you were laying underneath your fiancée. He kept whining about how much he wanted another child, a sibling for Emma. You weren’t ready for another child just yet. Not with him at least. So while you took birth control to prevent another pregnancy that would result in you being stuck even more than you already were. Yet another reason that would make you feel the need to stay.

As you entered the convenience store, you bought a pregnancy test and water. You couldn’t bring yourself to take it at home, so you took it in the store restroom. Even with birth control, there was always the chance that you could become pregnant still and while you didn’t experience any symptoms with your daughter, you found yourself becoming nauseated as the days went on, so you were worried. You couldn’t let your fiancée find out because then you’d end up underneath him every night to make sure you would become pregnant. You were thankful that you kept your birth control a secret from him, feigning an illness when you received the implant so you would never be worried. Unfortunate for you that you were.

As you washed your hands in the sink, you thought back to 7 years ago.

You walked along the halls of your high school after school while you waited for your brother, Alexis Ness, to finish practice. He asked for you to wait for him so that the two of you could go home together…after accompanying his friend Michael. You were supposed to stay near the field, but you got bored watching the guys kick a ball around. Or the one man who believed he was better than the rest, even your brother.

Not wanting to watch your brother subject himself to be treated like a dog, you snuck away during a play.

You love your brother, you absolutely do. He was just very protective of you. If anyone thought he was serious about Michael, it was worse with you. He wouldn’t hesitate to threaten any guy who came up to you, good intentions or bad. It made dating hard and you wanted to be able to experience your first boyfriend. Hell, you’d take a first date.

Passing by the classrooms lost in your thoughts, you felt a hand grab your arm and pull you backwards and into a hard body. Looking up behind you, you met the owner of the hand and body, who looked to be a couple of inches taller than your brother and he had an attractive smile.

Letting you go, he stepped back and rubbed the back of his neck while you turned around to face him, keeping silent. You didn’t know who he was but you guessed he had to find a workaround to talk to you since your brother scared away just about every guy in your grade.

“Sorry.” He apologized. “I saw you and didn’t know how else to get your attention without alerting your brother.”

You were right.

“It’s ok.” You responded, giving a smile. “My brother can be scary when he wants to be.”

He laughed and the sound of his laughter made your heart flutter.

“Yeah, he’s never said anything to me, but I’ve heard a lot of stories so I figured my best bet to talk to you was to wait until you were alone. N-Not that I was following you or anything, I was in the faculty office.”

Your smile widened.

“Uh huh. Sure.” You teased.

It felt nice talking to him. While your experience with talking to guys was limited to your brother, this conversation felt easy.

“I was wondering if you wanted to go out sometime?” He asked.

You glanced over at where the football field was to see if practice was still ongoing. It looked like everyone was starting to disperse causing you to feel nervous. Once Alexis saw that you weren’t around, he was going to lecture you.

Looking back at the man in front of you, you nodded.

“Sure! Sounds fun!” You agreed, taking out your phone and handing it to him so that he could add his number.

As soon as he handed you your phone, it began ringing as if Alexis knew that your phone had been handed off to someone. You immediately answered and waved goodbye before you turned and walked towards the field.

“What’s up Alexi?” You greeted.

“Y/N where are you? I told you to stay near the field. What if someone kidnapped you while you weren’t around?!” Alexis lectured in a panicked voice.

Rolling your eyes, you exited the building only to find your brother running around in a panic while Michael was watching him in amusement. Laughing, you waved to get his attention. Alexis looked at you and ran as quickly as he could, enveloping you in a hug that caused you to groan when he body slammed you. Alexis leaned back and held your cheeks in his hands and it was evident he teared up from worry.

“Alexi, I'm fine. I got bored.” You explained. “So I was in the halls.”

“What if a pervert found you? Like one of the teachers?” Alexis responded with furrowed brows.

A chuckle was heard behind you as Michael appeared, which caused you to furrow your brows and glare at him.

“Let her be, Ness. You can’t ask her to sit there every day and expect her to not be bored.” Michael said, giving you one of his signature smiles, which caused you to roll your eyes.

Alexis dropped his hands and smiled at Michael, his cheeks tinted pink.

“You’re right! I can’t be overprotective all the time, especially during practice when I need to focus on giving you a great pass.”

You inwardly groan.

It was that day that brought you to your current predicament. That guy that was shy and sweet is now your abusive fiancée.

You were aware of his anger problems, especially mixed with his narcissism since back then. But he never laid a hand on you until right before you broke up.

It was a stupid argument that was so stupid you couldn’t even remember what it was about. But whatever it was about caused him to give you one good slap to your face. You held your hand to your cheek and stared at him in disbelief before you broke up with him and ran off.

You were scared Alexis would find out so you avoided going home for a while until you were sure your brother would be in his room.

What you didn’t expect was to run into Michael Kaiser. He had exited a coffee shop and you ended up walking into him because you weren’t paying attention; you just wanted to get away.

His trademark smile formed as soon as he saw you, but it faded just as quickly as it appeared. His brows furrowed and he gently placed his hand on your chin, tilting your head to the side to look at the fresh red mark on your face. Tears threatened to fall as he stayed quiet.

“Please don’t tell Alexi…” You whispered.

“Give me one reason why.” Michael answered sternly. “Or better yet, give me the name of the person who did this to you, liebling.”

Your eyes widened. You had never seen this reaction off of Michael. He had always had a carefree attitude. Looking away from him, you moved his hand away.

“I just know how protective he is of me. It was just a silly argument and even then, I broke up with him.” You bit your bottom lip as the tears formed in your eyes once again.

Michael stared at you not saying a word. It felt suffocating to you and you just wanted to run off. You didn’t even like this man but the simple action of him getting angry on your behalf caused butterflies in your stomach. It felt like an eternity passed before you heard Michael sigh as if he’d come to a conclusion in his head and didn’t like the thought.

“Alright, I won’t tell Ness.” He said.

You looked at Michael, the shock evident on your face. This was something else you didn’t know about him. You were sure he was going to tell your brother. He definitely seemed like the type who would at least hold it over your head.

“In return,” He said, gently taking some of your hair and bringing it to his lips. His usual smile on his face as he looked directly into your eyes.

Oh boy. You were tired of being right.

“Let me treat you today. You need to see how a real man treats a woman.”

Despite the disgust you felt, your cheeks were tinted pink.

Sighing, you recognized your utter defeat. If you didn’t do what he said, he would tell your brother. You would rather deal with him than the wrath of your brother.

“Fine.” You answered in a monotone.

Michael chuckled and winked before letting your hair fall.

“Braves Mädchen.”

It took everything in you to not roll your eyes at his response even when it made your chest tighten. You would never admit he had his charms. He annoyed you to no end.

Michael had successfully distracted you from that day and you were able to move on. Then 3 years ago, your ex came back into the picture.

Because you originally blocked him after that breakup, he couldn’t get in contact with you and as soon as he saw you at random, he got on his knees and apologized.

When you decided to hear him out, he told you after he hit you, he realized his anger was out of control and he went to therapy to better himself. He told you he had changed and missed you.

So you took him back.

And you saw that he did change. His anger was controlled around you and he treated you much better.

Until the day he proposed after your daughter was born.

Sighing at the memory, you picked up the pregnancy test and looked at the results: negative. You felt a wave of relief wash over you, not realizing how much tension your body was holding during those few minutes.

Throwing away the test, you exited the bathroom and rubbed the bridge of your nose before colliding into someone. You really need to pay attention.

“Oh, I’m so sorry!” You apologize without looking at the person.

“Liebling?” A familiar voice called out, causing you to immediately look up and find the familiar blonde in front of you.

“Michael?” You breathed.

masterlist | chapter 2 ⤠

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